July 12, 2024 • 28 mins
Creepy crawly toilet spiders, chemical peels gone wrong, and the NoTORIous Benihana hot grill mishap.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
Misspelling with Tori Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast. Okay, I have
a very big fear of bugs, specifically spiders, and I
have noticed that now being single, I've really had to
step up my game and be like the bug Corrallar
(00:31):
in my household. And I also come from a place
that I believe you know everything and has a place
in this world. So I always try my best to
let's get a cup or a paper and get the
bug or the spider and deliver it safely outdoors. But
my kids come first, and I have to do what
(00:52):
I have to do to protect them. And it is
spider season. And it happened to me this morning because
I got up went to go pee and for some reason,
something told me to look into and I don't usually
do this because it's early. It was like six am.
You go and you just sit on the toilet to
go pee, and something told me to look down. And
(01:12):
when I looked down, there was vil it is spider
crawling out from under the seat of my toilet. I'm
not gonna lie. It was huge. It was ginormous. So
I'm like, oh boy, okay, what do I do? So
I flush it down, but it fell down, and because
the toilet wasn't flushing, I was like, okay, it still
(01:36):
was moving and it kept going and its legs were going.
I was like wow. And then I got panicked, and
then I just tried to drown and sucker and I
was taking everything in my bathroom and I was just
like going like this, like just trying to drown it
in the toilet water, and it kept coming back. So
finally I got it with toilet paper. I got it
out and put it on the ground, and then I
(02:00):
screamed again because it started running, and I was like, wow,
it's like the spider. It's like if cats have nine lives.
I think the spider had like ten lives, twelve thirteen.
It kept going and then I had to stomp on it,
and then I was bummed because they were my my
Balenciaga slippers, and I was like, oh, that's gonna leave
a mark. But then I looked down and it wasn't
(02:24):
in the toilet paper, it wasn't on the ground, and
it wasn't on the Balenciagat slippers. It was gone. It
got away, the spider that got away. So I don't know.
It's somewhere in the house. But the bigger question is
what if I didn't know and I was going to
the bathroom and I was peeing and that spider crawled
up me and laid like a thousand of its babies
(02:45):
in my vagina? Like what would have happened? Am I
the only one thinks about things like this? So now
I can't sit on a toilet like. That's a fear that,
like a spider will crawl into your private parts and
your whattole in like lay eggs And what happens? Does
it die up there? I don't know? Anyway, bring on
(03:09):
the commentaries. Do you have that fear?
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Now? I will have that fear thanks to you?
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Oh good? I like to share.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Okay, so we have some doozies this week, although a
lot of questions.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Good. There's only so many comments you can make about
my physical appearance. Guys, So I'm really glad you sent
some questions this week. All right, we'll start with a
We'll start with a kinder one. Okay, Hey, toy, you
are so hot, but you need a regular guy like me. Okay,
did you send a picture? Nope? What is a regular guy? Though? Wow?
(03:46):
Asking for all a single folk out there? What is
a regular guy, Like a normal guy. What's normal? Oh?
Like not someone in the business. Wait, did you hit
reply reply to him and say what? Hi? I'm terribly
terrible of this. I had no idea. No. The fact
that I'm saying, like, you need a regular guy tells
me that he's not the guy for me, because because
(04:09):
he's leaving a comment for me here and he's saying
I need a regular guy. But I'm just a regular girl.
So why wouldn't I need a regular guy?
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Right?
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Okay, moving on? Do you shave or whack? Okay? So
when I was growing up, so my mom being a
different generation, they had whapped. So my hair's blonde on
my body, thank god, so on my legs and arms.
So I was like fourteen or fifteen, I was like,
I really my all my friends were shaving, but my
(04:41):
mom wanted me to wait and wanted me to whip
because that's how she grew up. So she took me
to Elizabeth Arden, which it was like very like l luxurious,
lavish spob. Now there's ones everywhere, but back in the
day it was like very prestigious and there's like only
one in New York and one in LA and really
parts sparkling water, champagne when the ladies came in and anyway,
(05:05):
she took me there and had my legs waxed for
the first time. And I was very excited because all
my friends shaved and I finally like was embarrassed. I'd
be wearing like knee socks and stuff. And I did it,
and she was like, this is so much better. And
I'm glad she told me this because there is validity
to it. You know, back then there wasn't laser or anything,
so you would wax or shave. And I'm glad she
(05:29):
had me do that because the hair would take longer
to grow back, and she would say it wouldn't grow
back with as much sickness. And I don't know. I'm
not a hairy person to this day. Like if I
can grow my leg hair out for like a month,
good month or two, it'll be long, it'll be light,
but it won't be Personally, I'll tell you that it
(05:50):
is very thin. It's like the hair on your head,
Like it's not those thick like ooh, you know when
you feel a girl's legs and you're like, oh, like that.
And I think my mom for this because she had
me wax at a young age. But now I shave
just because I'm lazy and I do it really fast.
And I always nicked myself because I'm just like I
(06:13):
have to take care of kids. So I shaved. The
question is do the drapes match the carpet? Does the
drapes match the carpet? Okay, So the drapes would be
your hair, which mine's dyed, match the carpet, which is hardwood.
It's I don't have carpet. I shave it offen. Okay,
so much information, but no I have story. So back
(06:36):
in the day when I had platinum hair, I remember
this and Kevin, my dentist friend. Kevin was my roommate.
I remember when I went platinum on nine O two
one zero. I was at my hair dresser and getting
it done, and I was like, at the time, like
landing strips were in. Do you guys like is that
(06:57):
a thing anymore where you would like shave just like
a little square in your like a landing strip, And
that's like what was in then in the nineties. So anyway,
I said to my hairdresser, I was like, oh my gosh,
I love the color you did my hair. Wait, is
(07:17):
that ever a thing Like I could dye my pubes
like to match, like I'm platinum here, I could be
platinum there, and I'm not like dark down there, but
like brown. So and he was like, oh yeah, he
was totally into it. So he whipped up a little
bit and he gave it to me, and I don't
know if it was like bleach whatever, like it was
(07:38):
that whole thing. So I brought it home and I
didn't ask for instructions. I was like rushing out. So
that night I was in my bathroom, Kevin was in
his room, and I literally was putting stuff on. I
had done like shade into a cute little landing strip.
I was already like, oh cool, put the color on,
(07:58):
and then I Kevin's still to this day like he
heard me screaming and I was like, oh my god,
my pussy and he's like what. I was like, come here,
you have to look at it, and he's like I
don't want to. I'm like, you have to. He's my
best friend. Like we shared everything. Like it wasn't like
a guy looking at you know, it was like it
was like brother. So I was like, you have to,
(08:20):
there's a problem, and he comes in and it had
turned bright purple. I think because they put like a
toner in blondes. Like you know how they have purple
shampoo now. Back then they didn't have it. It was like
all in one. So whatever my hairdresser gave me at
the time I put down there, I don't know if
(08:40):
I left it on too long, probably the case, because
it burned like hell, but it was bright purple. And
I was like, oh my gosh, I have a purple pussy.
Now I don't know what to do. And Kevin's like,
oh my god, He's like that, yeah, that doesn't look good,
and I was like, oh my god. So that was
the first time I had to like I had to
(09:01):
shave it all off and go down with the hardwood.
And then I was like, oh this is cute. I
like this. But yeah, for ye, for about twenty minutes,
I had a purple pussy. So it's no one ever.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I wonder if that could be a thing, you know people, Yeah,
since people are dyeing their hair all different colors, maybe
you could start a new trend.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
But then the landing strip would have to come back.
And I feel like what's in now is just like
clean shaven, so got it. But then you could go
back to my love for merkens and we could develop
little like colored landing strips. You could just pop on,
pop off. Yeah, it's like boba for the plus. You know,
(09:43):
I think you've got something there. I have an idea
of person. What can I say? It's never going to stop. Yeah,
one day I'll make you a living at it.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
You say this isn't your new business. Okay, Of all
your animals, what is the strangest one you've had?
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Oh, maybe the strangest, not strange, the most curious animal
I've ever had.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
And my family was I'll buy no hedgehog.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
That's definitely curious.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Because I couldn't just have a regular hedgehog that could
be so regular of me. No. So we were at
an animal farm rescue and she had a lot of
curious animals and she had these hedgehogs and they had
(10:48):
had babies and there were two left, and me, being me,
I was like, oh, they're so cute. And instead of
just taking one, I was like, felt bad. I was
too brothers, So I had to take them both so
they could be together. So I came home to albino hedgehogs.
Hedgehog owners, beware, they are not for the weak part,
(11:11):
they are menacin. They are really prickly, no pun intended,
but they hiss. Don't be swayed by all those TikTok
videos of people giving bats and cuddling and doing a
little toothbrush to rub their bellies. It's so cute. I
tried all of that. I mean, I did a deep
(11:33):
dive into trying to please these hedgehogs, and my kids
were thrown off immediately. One because when you go to
touch them, they they come out like this, into a ball,
literally a ball, and you have to wear gloves first
of all. So I would have like my rubber dish gloves.
Oh am I kidding here. I went and bought a
(11:54):
pair of rubber dish gloves and would handle them. As
they say, the more you handle them, the more they
become accustomed to you, and then they will relax. And
when they did relax, oh my god, there's some cute fuckers.
I'm telling you how little noses and they're so cute
(12:15):
and their little bellies, their little mouths and they're really sweet.
But they just you know, I was like, you're okay,
you're safe. I'm a friend, you know, they don't listen
and they just yeah. So so anyway, we had the
hedgehogs for a while and they were really mean and
(12:37):
they would hiss at my kids and spake up and
you know, bloody, you'd be bloody from them after an
interaction and it was like, I was just trying to
give you love. So they were white albino hedgehogs. And
it's interesting because people'll all want them. Like I was
telling friends, you know, and they're like, I want a hedgehog,
(13:00):
and I was like, no, no, no, let me just tell you.
Spend some time with it. Don't commit to it like
it's it's a big process. So so yeah, I found
them homes though, and I still check in with those
people and they're really happy. But I find they're better
for like a home with not other animals and not
other a million children like I have. And you really
(13:22):
got to dedicate your life to these hedgehogs because they're
not easy. Did I answer that thoroughly? Okay?
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Good. I don't think I have known anybody else to
have a hedgehog or an albino hedgehog, well specifically, right,
And I'll bind everybody has a regular hedgehog, only you
have an albino hedgehog?
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Have you ever had a chemical peel? I'd rather stick
my face on a hot, hi botchy grill.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
I've had both of those happen to me, and that's
kind of funny. I had that incident of Benny Hannah
where I fell on the grill. That's right, I'm sorry.
I don't mean, oh my god, that's okay. We have
to laugh at things afterwards. How would I cope with life?
Speaker 2 (14:10):
But yeah, I have had a chemical peel. Since you've
experienced both, which one would be your preference?
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Of giving the joy?
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Here?
Speaker 1 (14:19):
An asshole? I love it. Oh my gosh. I had
a chemical peel of sorts once years ago. We have
to find this picture. Oh man, it was horrible.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
It was ugh.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yeah. So everyone always thinks I've had like a gazillion
things done to my face and gazillion plastic surgeries and
I haven't and whatever, But I did, years ago try
a chemical peel one time, and it was like an
insane one. It was like they told me it wouldn't
be bad, which yeah, And I was like, oh, I
have to film next week. Is that going to be okay?
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Yeah, there's no downtime. It's gonna be fine. And as
they were doing it, I was like burning, kind of burning.
They're like, oh, good, there you're feeling it, but I'm like,
have a really high pain tolerance, so I was like
really trying to stick it out. And then I went
home and my face it looked like Freddy Krueger. It
(15:21):
looked like, I want to say, something super gross, like
it looked like there was like blood marks all over
my face. Like it was horrific. And my son Finn
was four, I think at the time, and I couldn't
go anywhere. I couldn't even get out of bed. It
was so painful. My face was like feeling like it
was on fire. So I texted the esthetician because it
(15:45):
was at like a spa like place, it wasn't you know,
And she was like this is normal, you know, and
she gave me some creams to put on it and
all that la la la, and my son Finn like
like two days went by and then I remember I, uh,
I had to shower him because he was little, and
we were in the shower and he's like looking down.
(16:06):
He's like, mom, I go what he goes? When is
your face going to come back? Are you ever going
to look like you again? I'm scared. And I was like,
oh my god. And I looked at him and I go, buddy,
he goes yeah, I go, I'm scared too, I really scared.
(16:29):
I was scared you guys. I was like, something's wrong here.
But anyway, I then golled the nurse. I was like
uh because it was days now days, and I was like, uh,
I have to film on Monday. I'm not sure what
to do. And she was like, hm, just come back
in and we can give you. They put like oxygen
on your face and do stuff to try to take
(16:53):
down redness. And so afterwards I come out and I'm
getting into my car and paparazzi got a picture of
it and it went everywhere, like if you look it
up right now, you will see it. It is horrific. Anyway,
I had to film for a week and they had
to cover that it was a cooking, like like burn
(17:14):
meat was on my face. BARS was like, You're never
allowed to like get something done a week before filming
ever again. So I have not done a chemicobile in
my face since then because I've been so terrified. Are
you googling the picture right now, it's really good. I
think that's where this.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
I think that that's where the comet came from.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
But that said, I did get a radically bad burn
falling on hot hibachi grill at Benny Hanna on Easter
in front of my entire family, And that was like
the troop where I am, I promptly after my arm.
(18:01):
Which arm is it? It's this arm because I have a
skin graft that they had to take from my leg,
so I have my I am wearing. Not many people
can say, Hey, I'm wearing my thigh on my arm,
and I'm not even kidding. So I'm wearing a sin
layer of my thigh on my arm because the skin
(18:22):
burnt so bad, like they had to take it all
day nd of the phone basically and rebuild it. Like
the badass bitch I am. As I fell, I pulled
my arm which was sticking to the grill because it
was odd and what is it five hundred and six
hundred and fifty degrees. Something pulled it off. And then
when I've hit the ground, my family said it smelled
(18:44):
like something burning and they hadn't even started bringing food over,
and everyone's like are you okay? And I was so embarrassed.
You know when you fall in front of people and
you're like embarrassed and you're like fine, I'm fine, and
you're really like, oh, I don't know if I'm okay.
It was one of those moments. So I'm like, I'm okay,
I'm okay. I was like super embarrassed to everyone's coming over. Oh,
all the attention, and of course I'm like people are
(19:06):
probably like, oh, you know what happens she drunk, like
wo oh, it's the celebrity, and like we had just arrived,
like I hadn't even had a drink yet. It was
Easter brunch with our best friends and our family and anyway,
so everyone, you're welcome. Bending Hans across America, there's now
a chain between where you sit at the counter and
(19:29):
where the chef then goes back to cook the food.
There's a chain there so patrons like me can't step
behind that. I was trying to get a picture of
my kid wearing the chef's hat, took one step back,
flew up on the oil, and the rest is history.
But anyway, well, like the badass bitch I am, I
(19:50):
was saying, I went on with my meal because it
was Easter, and I was like, I'm fine, I'm fine,
you know, and not fine. And we had brunch and
then we went home and I hid Easter eggs. We
found Easter eggs and made cookies and went through the
entire Easter and I wait till Easter was over. And
(20:12):
a day later, I then drove myself I'm right handed
to the emergency room and they're like, uh, that's like
a third, the fourth, whatever the worst burn is. They're like,
that's it, and the skin's dying and you need to
go to the Burden Clinic. And then I went there anyway,
you know what, And I got to say, I'm really
(20:32):
bummed because I felt like I couldn't go back to
Benny Hanna just because I don't know, it was like
a thing like you know, PTSD, Like Stella and Liam
were old enough that they still remember it and it
was really scarring for them. And yeah, but there's nothing
(20:55):
better than that salad dressing, that ginger salad dressing on
the Benny Hanna salad, the coming or them flipping shrimp
into your means. I always caught it. I'm good like that,
soiss it all the time. You may laugh, So, okay, I
do all the time.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Okay, this is actually this is a combination of three
questions because they're all sort of the same questions. So
I thought it was worth Oh boy, Torri, with your permission,
would it be okay if I paint a portrait of
you out of chocolate? And then the next one is,
I'm flying my painter in this Saturday to you. He
plans to create a fabulous ceiling mural. And then the
(21:43):
last one is, oh, at long last, my bedroom ceiling
shall be complete. So it's all about murals of you.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Wait, what was the last what's the other part of that?
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Oh, at long last, my bedroom ceiling shall be complete
with a miural of you.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Wait, okay, okay, let's break this down. One can he
make wait? Wait, can he make something of me out
of chocolate? Wait? Did I hear that right?
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Yep?
Speaker 1 (22:15):
He says, I paint with chocolate. He paints sweats chocolate.
He paint sweat chocolate, and he wants to make paint
something of me out of chocolate. He wants your permission
to paint a portrait to the human that wants to
paint a portrait of me out of chocolate permission, granted.
I like milk chocolate, though I know I'm supp sweet
(22:36):
bougie and like dark chocolate, but I really like milk
chocolate and not a fan of white. So if you
can do it in milk chocolate, I'd be really grateful.
Even though this is about you, so you can do
whatever you want, but how do you preserve that doesn't
it go bad? Don't you get ants? Like what happens
after you paint something out of chocolate?
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (22:57):
And this is for him, right or is he gonna
send this to me? Because don't send it to me
because I'm a hoarder and I also have an emotional
attachment to adamant objects. I've said it before. If you
send me anything, I will keep it forever out of
fear that I've you time and energy into it and
I cannot. And I have a garage full of beautiful
(23:20):
and not so beautiful things people have made me that
I cannot part with because I feel guilty. So I
fear if you send me this thing, there's going to
be more spiders that we're going to come into my house.
And yeah, so don't send it to me. But I'd
like to see a picture of it, and yeah, okay,
second part of that, he's going to send his painter
(23:43):
to me.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
No, this is somebody else what they thought there flying,
They're flying their their painter in this Saturday to you
to plan. They plan to create a fabulous ceiling.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Mural in your house.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
This person clearly has a personal painter, which I find interesting.
Says I'm flying in my painter this Saturday, so get ready.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Oh my god, don't need security wall. Imagine. Imagine on
Saturday morning, we hear a knock at the door. Yep,
really did want to get out again. Nope, I'm her
personal painter coming to paint your ceiling. Paint what on
my ceilings?
Speaker 2 (24:32):
None of them specify, which I think is really.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
What do you want to paint on my ceiling? I'm
not into ceilings being painted, so.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
You're going to disappoint a few fans.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Then I'm a top not at bottom, so I'm never
looking up the ceiling. Just kidding.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Well. The last one is actually they want a mural
of you on their ceiling, so maybe we could just
reroot the painter that's coming.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
To paint a mural on your ceiling this Saturday.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
To the other person, what's a mural of you on
their ceiling?
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Ruth? And please google me and make sure my address
is not on the internet. My current address. Oh boy, done.
Note to oneself. Take the kids out on a Saturday outing,
do not be home. Wow. Yeah, oh my god. Imagine
I said yes to this and they came and did
(25:26):
a mural of me on the ceiling, and then anyone
that came over, what would they think, Like a big
picture of myself on my ceiling. That's my worst nightmare.
I don't even like looking at myself. And then I'd
have to be in bed and like look up and
like there's me. It's haunting that like takes Yeah. Like
(25:51):
I've been to Jojo Siwa's house, like her parents' house
and this is back you know, in the day, and they,
you know, had a lot of JoJo's stuff everywhere shown it.
I'm friends with Jojo, Like it's not a big deal,
but they had JoJo's stuff everywhere. So you know, that
would be like me having like my picture on like
(26:14):
pillows and like on the wall, but on my ceiling.
I don't think I'd be into that. No, Okay, what's
the last one they want to paint a mural of
me on their ceiling. Yeah, to each their room, do
as you will that what part of me are you
(26:35):
putting on the ceiling though, because like face, is it? Top? Bottom,
is it? Booms? Is it my feet? My feet are
really good. I'm really really good feet. So maybe, like
you don't know, it's interesting.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
I can reply to them and give them your specifics
of what the mural should look like.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Before they fly into your house and show up on Saturday. No,
not my mural. These are three different questions. Now we're
onto the people for people under the stairs. Sorry, horrible
horror film reference. Okay, No, there's one person that wants
a mural of me on their ceiling. Correct, correct? Okay,
(27:20):
So first of all, that just seems lazy. That seems like, okay,
that's like a porn thing. That's like, okay, you know,
like if you can't look at pictures and do your thing,
if you can't you know, look at your iPad or whatever,
I think that's just lazy that you're taking all the
work out of it. There is like okay, this is
just going to make it easier for me and just
look up. So I don't like lazy people. But if
(27:45):
you got to have one. Make sure you get my
good angle. I like the right side of my face,
so i'd prefer that's the right side of my face
up on your ceiling. And then maybe for a small
like free, I'll donate to charity. I'll I'll come over
and sign it, maybe allegedly. Wait, wait, actually give permission
to this person. This would be really funny. I want
(28:07):
to see if they'll actually do it. But that person
need a permission or they want a photo with me?
What do they want?
Speaker 2 (28:13):
They didn't specify, they just sent the comment in.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Just right back. Cool, we'll do. There must be a
business there somewhere, like celebrity portraits up on your ceiling.
It's start that business right along with the colored working business.
That one's gonna pop. I'm telling you, I have ideas,
have so many ideas.
Misspelling with Tori Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast. Okay, I have
a very big fear of bugs, specifically spiders, and I
have noticed that now being single, I've really had to
step up my game and be like the bug Corrallar
(00:31):
in my household. And I also come from a place
that I believe you know everything and has a place
in this world. So I always try my best to
let's get a cup or a paper and get the
bug or the spider and deliver it safely outdoors. But
my kids come first, and I have to do what
(00:52):
I have to do to protect them. And it is
spider season. And it happened to me this morning because
I got up went to go pee and for some reason,
something told me to look into and I don't usually
do this because it's early. It was like six am.
You go and you just sit on the toilet to
go pee, and something told me to look down. And
(01:12):
when I looked down, there was vil it is spider
crawling out from under the seat of my toilet. I'm
not gonna lie. It was huge. It was ginormous. So
I'm like, oh boy, okay, what do I do? So
I flush it down, but it fell down, and because
the toilet wasn't flushing, I was like, okay, it still
(01:36):
was moving and it kept going and its legs were going.
I was like wow. And then I got panicked, and
then I just tried to drown and sucker and I
was taking everything in my bathroom and I was just
like going like this, like just trying to drown it
in the toilet water, and it kept coming back. So
finally I got it with toilet paper. I got it
out and put it on the ground, and then I
(02:00):
screamed again because it started running, and I was like, wow,
it's like the spider. It's like if cats have nine lives.
I think the spider had like ten lives, twelve thirteen.
It kept going and then I had to stomp on it,
and then I was bummed because they were my my
Balenciaga slippers, and I was like, oh, that's gonna leave
a mark. But then I looked down and it wasn't
(02:24):
in the toilet paper, it wasn't on the ground, and
it wasn't on the Balenciagat slippers. It was gone. It
got away, the spider that got away. So I don't know.
It's somewhere in the house. But the bigger question is
what if I didn't know and I was going to
the bathroom and I was peeing and that spider crawled
up me and laid like a thousand of its babies
(02:45):
in my vagina? Like what would have happened? Am I
the only one thinks about things like this? So now
I can't sit on a toilet like. That's a fear that,
like a spider will crawl into your private parts and
your whattole in like lay eggs And what happens? Does
it die up there? I don't know? Anyway, bring on
(03:09):
the commentaries. Do you have that fear?
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Now? I will have that fear thanks to you?
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Oh good? I like to share.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Okay, so we have some doozies this week, although a
lot of questions.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Good. There's only so many comments you can make about
my physical appearance. Guys, So I'm really glad you sent
some questions this week. All right, we'll start with a
We'll start with a kinder one. Okay, Hey, toy, you
are so hot, but you need a regular guy like me. Okay,
did you send a picture? Nope? What is a regular guy? Though? Wow?
(03:46):
Asking for all a single folk out there? What is
a regular guy, Like a normal guy. What's normal? Oh?
Like not someone in the business. Wait, did you hit
reply reply to him and say what? Hi? I'm terribly
terrible of this. I had no idea. No. The fact
that I'm saying, like, you need a regular guy tells
me that he's not the guy for me, because because
(04:09):
he's leaving a comment for me here and he's saying
I need a regular guy. But I'm just a regular girl.
So why wouldn't I need a regular guy?
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Right?
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Okay, moving on? Do you shave or whack? Okay? So
when I was growing up, so my mom being a
different generation, they had whapped. So my hair's blonde on
my body, thank god, so on my legs and arms.
So I was like fourteen or fifteen, I was like,
I really my all my friends were shaving, but my
(04:41):
mom wanted me to wait and wanted me to whip
because that's how she grew up. So she took me
to Elizabeth Arden, which it was like very like l luxurious,
lavish spob. Now there's ones everywhere, but back in the
day it was like very prestigious and there's like only
one in New York and one in LA and really
parts sparkling water, champagne when the ladies came in and anyway,
(05:05):
she took me there and had my legs waxed for
the first time. And I was very excited because all
my friends shaved and I finally like was embarrassed. I'd
be wearing like knee socks and stuff. And I did it,
and she was like, this is so much better. And
I'm glad she told me this because there is validity
to it. You know, back then there wasn't laser or anything,
so you would wax or shave. And I'm glad she
(05:29):
had me do that because the hair would take longer
to grow back, and she would say it wouldn't grow
back with as much sickness. And I don't know. I'm
not a hairy person to this day. Like if I
can grow my leg hair out for like a month,
good month or two, it'll be long, it'll be light,
but it won't be Personally, I'll tell you that it
(05:50):
is very thin. It's like the hair on your head,
Like it's not those thick like ooh, you know when
you feel a girl's legs and you're like, oh, like that.
And I think my mom for this because she had
me wax at a young age. But now I shave
just because I'm lazy and I do it really fast.
And I always nicked myself because I'm just like I
(06:13):
have to take care of kids. So I shaved. The
question is do the drapes match the carpet? Does the
drapes match the carpet? Okay, So the drapes would be
your hair, which mine's dyed, match the carpet, which is hardwood.
It's I don't have carpet. I shave it offen. Okay,
so much information, but no I have story. So back
(06:36):
in the day when I had platinum hair, I remember
this and Kevin, my dentist friend. Kevin was my roommate.
I remember when I went platinum on nine O two
one zero. I was at my hair dresser and getting
it done, and I was like, at the time, like
landing strips were in. Do you guys like is that
(06:57):
a thing anymore where you would like shave just like
a little square in your like a landing strip, And
that's like what was in then in the nineties. So anyway,
I said to my hairdresser, I was like, oh my gosh,
I love the color you did my hair. Wait, is
(07:17):
that ever a thing Like I could dye my pubes
like to match, like I'm platinum here, I could be
platinum there, and I'm not like dark down there, but
like brown. So and he was like, oh yeah, he
was totally into it. So he whipped up a little
bit and he gave it to me, and I don't
know if it was like bleach whatever, like it was
(07:38):
that whole thing. So I brought it home and I
didn't ask for instructions. I was like rushing out. So
that night I was in my bathroom, Kevin was in
his room, and I literally was putting stuff on. I
had done like shade into a cute little landing strip.
I was already like, oh cool, put the color on,
(07:58):
and then I Kevin's still to this day like he
heard me screaming and I was like, oh my god,
my pussy and he's like what. I was like, come here,
you have to look at it, and he's like I
don't want to. I'm like, you have to. He's my
best friend. Like we shared everything. Like it wasn't like
a guy looking at you know, it was like it
was like brother. So I was like, you have to,
(08:20):
there's a problem, and he comes in and it had
turned bright purple. I think because they put like a
toner in blondes. Like you know how they have purple
shampoo now. Back then they didn't have it. It was like
all in one. So whatever my hairdresser gave me at
the time I put down there, I don't know if
(08:40):
I left it on too long, probably the case, because
it burned like hell, but it was bright purple. And
I was like, oh my gosh, I have a purple pussy.
Now I don't know what to do. And Kevin's like,
oh my god, He's like that, yeah, that doesn't look good,
and I was like, oh my god. So that was
the first time I had to like I had to
(09:01):
shave it all off and go down with the hardwood.
And then I was like, oh this is cute. I
like this. But yeah, for ye, for about twenty minutes,
I had a purple pussy. So it's no one ever.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I wonder if that could be a thing, you know people, Yeah,
since people are dyeing their hair all different colors, maybe
you could start a new trend.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
But then the landing strip would have to come back.
And I feel like what's in now is just like
clean shaven, so got it. But then you could go
back to my love for merkens and we could develop
little like colored landing strips. You could just pop on,
pop off. Yeah, it's like boba for the plus. You know,
(09:43):
I think you've got something there. I have an idea
of person. What can I say? It's never going to stop. Yeah,
one day I'll make you a living at it.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
You say this isn't your new business. Okay, Of all
your animals, what is the strangest one you've had?
Speaker 3 (10:07):
Oh, maybe the strangest, not strange, the most curious animal
I've ever had.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
And my family was I'll buy no hedgehog.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
That's definitely curious.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Because I couldn't just have a regular hedgehog that could
be so regular of me. No. So we were at
an animal farm rescue and she had a lot of
curious animals and she had these hedgehogs and they had
(10:48):
had babies and there were two left, and me, being me,
I was like, oh, they're so cute. And instead of
just taking one, I was like, felt bad. I was
too brothers, So I had to take them both so
they could be together. So I came home to albino hedgehogs.
Hedgehog owners, beware, they are not for the weak part,
(11:11):
they are menacin. They are really prickly, no pun intended,
but they hiss. Don't be swayed by all those TikTok
videos of people giving bats and cuddling and doing a
little toothbrush to rub their bellies. It's so cute. I
tried all of that. I mean, I did a deep
(11:33):
dive into trying to please these hedgehogs, and my kids
were thrown off immediately. One because when you go to
touch them, they they come out like this, into a ball,
literally a ball, and you have to wear gloves first
of all. So I would have like my rubber dish gloves.
Oh am I kidding here. I went and bought a
(11:54):
pair of rubber dish gloves and would handle them. As
they say, the more you handle them, the more they
become accustomed to you, and then they will relax. And
when they did relax, oh my god, there's some cute fuckers.
I'm telling you how little noses and they're so cute
(12:15):
and their little bellies, their little mouths and they're really sweet.
But they just you know, I was like, you're okay,
you're safe. I'm a friend, you know, they don't listen
and they just yeah. So so anyway, we had the
hedgehogs for a while and they were really mean and
(12:37):
they would hiss at my kids and spake up and
you know, bloody, you'd be bloody from them after an
interaction and it was like, I was just trying to
give you love. So they were white albino hedgehogs. And
it's interesting because people'll all want them. Like I was
telling friends, you know, and they're like, I want a hedgehog,
(13:00):
and I was like, no, no, no, let me just tell you.
Spend some time with it. Don't commit to it like
it's it's a big process. So so yeah, I found
them homes though, and I still check in with those
people and they're really happy. But I find they're better
for like a home with not other animals and not
other a million children like I have. And you really
(13:22):
got to dedicate your life to these hedgehogs because they're
not easy. Did I answer that thoroughly? Okay?
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Good. I don't think I have known anybody else to
have a hedgehog or an albino hedgehog, well specifically, right,
And I'll bind everybody has a regular hedgehog, only you
have an albino hedgehog?
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Have you ever had a chemical peel? I'd rather stick
my face on a hot, hi botchy grill.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
I've had both of those happen to me, and that's
kind of funny. I had that incident of Benny Hannah
where I fell on the grill. That's right, I'm sorry.
I don't mean, oh my god, that's okay. We have
to laugh at things afterwards. How would I cope with life?
Speaker 2 (14:10):
But yeah, I have had a chemical peel. Since you've
experienced both, which one would be your preference?
Speaker 1 (14:17):
Of giving the joy?
Speaker 2 (14:19):
Here?
Speaker 1 (14:19):
An asshole? I love it. Oh my gosh. I had
a chemical peel of sorts once years ago. We have
to find this picture. Oh man, it was horrible.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
It was ugh.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yeah. So everyone always thinks I've had like a gazillion
things done to my face and gazillion plastic surgeries and
I haven't and whatever, But I did, years ago try
a chemical peel one time, and it was like an
insane one. It was like they told me it wouldn't
be bad, which yeah, And I was like, oh, I
have to film next week. Is that going to be okay?
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Yeah, there's no downtime. It's gonna be fine. And as
they were doing it, I was like burning, kind of burning.
They're like, oh, good, there you're feeling it, but I'm like,
have a really high pain tolerance, so I was like
really trying to stick it out. And then I went
home and my face it looked like Freddy Krueger. It
(15:21):
looked like, I want to say, something super gross, like
it looked like there was like blood marks all over
my face. Like it was horrific. And my son Finn
was four, I think at the time, and I couldn't
go anywhere. I couldn't even get out of bed. It
was so painful. My face was like feeling like it
was on fire. So I texted the esthetician because it
(15:45):
was at like a spa like place, it wasn't you know,
And she was like this is normal, you know, and
she gave me some creams to put on it and
all that la la la, and my son Finn like
like two days went by and then I remember I, uh,
I had to shower him because he was little, and
we were in the shower and he's like looking down.
(16:06):
He's like, mom, I go what he goes? When is
your face going to come back? Are you ever going
to look like you again? I'm scared. And I was like,
oh my god. And I looked at him and I go, buddy,
he goes yeah, I go, I'm scared too, I really scared.
(16:29):
I was scared you guys. I was like, something's wrong here.
But anyway, I then golled the nurse. I was like
uh because it was days now days, and I was like, uh,
I have to film on Monday. I'm not sure what
to do. And she was like, hm, just come back
in and we can give you. They put like oxygen
on your face and do stuff to try to take
(16:53):
down redness. And so afterwards I come out and I'm
getting into my car and paparazzi got a picture of
it and it went everywhere, like if you look it
up right now, you will see it. It is horrific. Anyway,
I had to film for a week and they had
to cover that it was a cooking, like like burn
(17:14):
meat was on my face. BARS was like, You're never
allowed to like get something done a week before filming
ever again. So I have not done a chemicobile in
my face since then because I've been so terrified. Are
you googling the picture right now, it's really good. I
think that's where this.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
I think that that's where the comet came from.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
But that said, I did get a radically bad burn
falling on hot hibachi grill at Benny Hanna on Easter
in front of my entire family, And that was like
the troop where I am, I promptly after my arm.
(18:01):
Which arm is it? It's this arm because I have a
skin graft that they had to take from my leg,
so I have my I am wearing. Not many people
can say, Hey, I'm wearing my thigh on my arm,
and I'm not even kidding. So I'm wearing a sin
layer of my thigh on my arm because the skin
(18:22):
burnt so bad, like they had to take it all
day nd of the phone basically and rebuild it. Like
the badass bitch I am. As I fell, I pulled
my arm which was sticking to the grill because it
was odd and what is it five hundred and six
hundred and fifty degrees. Something pulled it off. And then
when I've hit the ground, my family said it smelled
(18:44):
like something burning and they hadn't even started bringing food over,
and everyone's like are you okay? And I was so embarrassed.
You know when you fall in front of people and
you're like embarrassed and you're like fine, I'm fine, and
you're really like, oh, I don't know if I'm okay.
It was one of those moments. So I'm like, I'm okay,
I'm okay. I was like super embarrassed to everyone's coming over. Oh,
all the attention, and of course I'm like people are
(19:06):
probably like, oh, you know what happens she drunk, like
wo oh, it's the celebrity, and like we had just arrived,
like I hadn't even had a drink yet. It was
Easter brunch with our best friends and our family and anyway,
so everyone, you're welcome. Bending Hans across America, there's now
a chain between where you sit at the counter and
(19:29):
where the chef then goes back to cook the food.
There's a chain there so patrons like me can't step
behind that. I was trying to get a picture of
my kid wearing the chef's hat, took one step back,
flew up on the oil, and the rest is history.
But anyway, well, like the badass bitch I am, I
(19:50):
was saying, I went on with my meal because it
was Easter, and I was like, I'm fine, I'm fine,
you know, and not fine. And we had brunch and
then we went home and I hid Easter eggs. We
found Easter eggs and made cookies and went through the
entire Easter and I wait till Easter was over. And
(20:12):
a day later, I then drove myself I'm right handed
to the emergency room and they're like, uh, that's like
a third, the fourth, whatever the worst burn is. They're like,
that's it, and the skin's dying and you need to
go to the Burden Clinic. And then I went there anyway,
you know what, And I got to say, I'm really
(20:32):
bummed because I felt like I couldn't go back to
Benny Hanna just because I don't know, it was like
a thing like you know, PTSD, Like Stella and Liam
were old enough that they still remember it and it
was really scarring for them. And yeah, but there's nothing
(20:55):
better than that salad dressing, that ginger salad dressing on
the Benny Hanna salad, the coming or them flipping shrimp
into your means. I always caught it. I'm good like that,
soiss it all the time. You may laugh, So, okay, I
do all the time.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Okay, this is actually this is a combination of three
questions because they're all sort of the same questions. So
I thought it was worth Oh boy, Torri, with your permission,
would it be okay if I paint a portrait of
you out of chocolate? And then the next one is,
I'm flying my painter in this Saturday to you. He
plans to create a fabulous ceiling mural. And then the
(21:43):
last one is, oh, at long last, my bedroom ceiling
shall be complete. So it's all about murals of you.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Wait, what was the last what's the other part of that?
Speaker 2 (21:55):
Oh, at long last, my bedroom ceiling shall be complete
with a miural of you.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Wait, okay, okay, let's break this down. One can he
make wait? Wait, can he make something of me out
of chocolate? Wait? Did I hear that right?
Speaker 2 (22:14):
Yep?
Speaker 1 (22:15):
He says, I paint with chocolate. He paints sweats chocolate.
He paint sweat chocolate, and he wants to make paint
something of me out of chocolate. He wants your permission
to paint a portrait to the human that wants to
paint a portrait of me out of chocolate permission, granted.
I like milk chocolate, though I know I'm supp sweet
(22:36):
bougie and like dark chocolate, but I really like milk
chocolate and not a fan of white. So if you
can do it in milk chocolate, I'd be really grateful.
Even though this is about you, so you can do
whatever you want, but how do you preserve that doesn't
it go bad? Don't you get ants? Like what happens
after you paint something out of chocolate?
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (22:57):
And this is for him, right or is he gonna
send this to me? Because don't send it to me
because I'm a hoarder and I also have an emotional
attachment to adamant objects. I've said it before. If you
send me anything, I will keep it forever out of
fear that I've you time and energy into it and
I cannot. And I have a garage full of beautiful
(23:20):
and not so beautiful things people have made me that
I cannot part with because I feel guilty. So I
fear if you send me this thing, there's going to
be more spiders that we're going to come into my house.
And yeah, so don't send it to me. But I'd
like to see a picture of it, and yeah, okay,
second part of that, he's going to send his painter
(23:43):
to me.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
No, this is somebody else what they thought there flying,
They're flying their their painter in this Saturday to you
to plan. They plan to create a fabulous ceiling.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
Mural in your house.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
This person clearly has a personal painter, which I find interesting.
Says I'm flying in my painter this Saturday, so get ready.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Oh my god, don't need security wall. Imagine. Imagine on
Saturday morning, we hear a knock at the door. Yep,
really did want to get out again. Nope, I'm her
personal painter coming to paint your ceiling. Paint what on
my ceilings?
Speaker 2 (24:32):
None of them specify, which I think is really.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
What do you want to paint on my ceiling? I'm
not into ceilings being painted, so.
Speaker 2 (24:41):
You're going to disappoint a few fans.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Then I'm a top not at bottom, so I'm never
looking up the ceiling. Just kidding.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Well. The last one is actually they want a mural
of you on their ceiling, so maybe we could just
reroot the painter that's coming.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
To paint a mural on your ceiling this Saturday.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
To the other person, what's a mural of you on
their ceiling?
Speaker 1 (25:05):
Ruth? And please google me and make sure my address
is not on the internet. My current address. Oh boy, done.
Note to oneself. Take the kids out on a Saturday outing,
do not be home. Wow. Yeah, oh my god. Imagine
I said yes to this and they came and did
(25:26):
a mural of me on the ceiling, and then anyone
that came over, what would they think, Like a big
picture of myself on my ceiling. That's my worst nightmare.
I don't even like looking at myself. And then I'd
have to be in bed and like look up and
like there's me. It's haunting that like takes Yeah. Like
(25:51):
I've been to Jojo Siwa's house, like her parents' house
and this is back you know, in the day, and they,
you know, had a lot of JoJo's stuff everywhere shown it.
I'm friends with Jojo, Like it's not a big deal,
but they had JoJo's stuff everywhere. So you know, that
would be like me having like my picture on like
(26:14):
pillows and like on the wall, but on my ceiling.
I don't think I'd be into that. No, Okay, what's
the last one they want to paint a mural of
me on their ceiling. Yeah, to each their room, do
as you will that what part of me are you
(26:35):
putting on the ceiling though, because like face, is it? Top? Bottom,
is it? Booms? Is it my feet? My feet are
really good. I'm really really good feet. So maybe, like
you don't know, it's interesting.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
I can reply to them and give them your specifics
of what the mural should look like.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Before they fly into your house and show up on Saturday. No,
not my mural. These are three different questions. Now we're
onto the people for people under the stairs. Sorry, horrible
horror film reference. Okay, No, there's one person that wants
a mural of me on their ceiling. Correct, correct? Okay,
(27:20):
So first of all, that just seems lazy. That seems like, okay,
that's like a porn thing. That's like, okay, you know,
like if you can't look at pictures and do your thing,
if you can't you know, look at your iPad or whatever,
I think that's just lazy that you're taking all the
work out of it. There is like okay, this is
just going to make it easier for me and just
look up. So I don't like lazy people. But if
(27:45):
you got to have one. Make sure you get my
good angle. I like the right side of my face,
so i'd prefer that's the right side of my face
up on your ceiling. And then maybe for a small
like free, I'll donate to charity. I'll I'll come over
and sign it, maybe allegedly. Wait, wait, actually give permission
to this person. This would be really funny. I want
(28:07):
to see if they'll actually do it. But that person
need a permission or they want a photo with me?
What do they want?
Speaker 2 (28:13):
They didn't specify, they just sent the comment in.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Just right back. Cool, we'll do. There must be a
business there somewhere, like celebrity portraits up on your ceiling.
It's start that business right along with the colored working business.
That one's gonna pop. I'm telling you, I have ideas,
have so many ideas.
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