June 27, 2024 • 36 mins
It’s time for those summer vacations! This week, Stephanie and Melissa discuss their most memorable childhood family vacations — cruises, kids clubs, time-share presentations and all. Steph shares about her upcoming Italian adventure, and things get vulnerable when our hosts open up about their struggles to take time off and unplug. Should you answer those work e-mails when you're clocked out? Spoiler alert: Take the damn vacation (if you can). It’s good for your health.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
More, more better, more, a little bit more better More.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Welcome to More Better, a podcast where we stop pretending
to have it all together and embrace the journey of
becoming a little more better every day, or at least
trying to. That's most Fumarow and that's Stephanie Beatrice and
welcome here. We are here, we are doing.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
I'm pretty good.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
How are you? Yeah? Yeah, I have a weird creek
in my neck thing like not my neck, but you
know the area where like when you get older you
get a little hump uh huh. I have a criok
at my ump. Oh, I have a criok in my shop.
It's really see like aging. It's not for the week, No,
it's not.
Speaker 4 (00:51):
I think I slept weird or there was a child
in my bed in the middle of the night, and
sleep weird.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Hold a tense position while you're driving too much. If
you're driving right now, relax your shoulders to get there.
I swear to God, I think it's the wrong pillow. Whatever,
it's fine. I'll be fine. I'll survive. I will so bad.
Have you done anything lately that's a little more better
for your neck? Perhaps I went to pilates yesterday. That
(01:22):
was good. That is good. Oh my god, is that
where I hurt my neck? So stupid on a dumb
Oh god, that's so that's so annoying. That's so annoying
if that's where I hurt my neck, because you know,
you pay like twenty dollars to go to I mean
twenty dollars if you get a deal. These classes are
(01:44):
so expensive. They're so expensive. Anyway, I took care of
myself and went to pilates. Let me try to be
positive about it. But you thought, really good, you moved
your body, you went to pilates, you showed up, you
did the thing. Yeah it was good.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
That's big.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Yeah you. I also worked out this week for the
first time in two weeks. I we're at YEP, called
my my friend and my trainer, Ricky, and I said
I had this day off or this morning off, and
he was like, let's do it. And then he teased
me the whole time about like do you remember how
to do push ups, in which I enjoy? Oh, but
(02:21):
I cannot.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Yeah. I know that's not your vibe, but I enjoy that.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Yeah, I can't do a one on, I can do
I can do a one on one if the trainer
is very positive person Like my friend Jenna is a
trainer and she's amazing and she's super positive and she's
like pushy. But I can't do like standing over you.
That's from your dance background.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Oh a hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
I just want somebody standing over you with the canes
stomping on the floor. No, and shout out to Ricky.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
I love him.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
He's really great and I think he gets my sense
of humor now, so he's like a little more looser
with me. But he's definitely like the Eastern European stoic
and he does I think he reminds me of ballet
teachers I used to.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Have, but he absolutely does.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Yeah, that's the vibe.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
And that's why it like pushes me because I'm like,
I want to impress you out and that's Meanwhile, I
quit la like in second grade, so I was like,
this is hard. I can't do this. I don't want
any part of this. Bye. Yeah, well, listen, we both
took care of our bodies kind of this kind in
my hump. In my homp, Melissa, it's like right where
(03:35):
older people get a little I know, but you don't
have a hump my lovely lady lumps. Oh my god,
my hump is like an old lady. That's happening, your
old lady hump, your old latest sexy lump in the beck.
My hump has a crook in it.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
More better?
Speaker 2 (04:00):
What are we talking about this week?
Speaker 4 (04:02):
We are talking about taking vacations.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Yes, because we don't do it very often. I don't
think Americans in general do it very often. But I
think it's.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Really not ingrained in our culture in any way at all.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Yeah, nh, it's weird, isn't it. I think our society
makes you like feel bad if you go on vacation sometimes,
and like especially if it's like a good vacation or
a nice vacation or you know. And then there's also
like the weird social media pressure of like people like
when they post about vacations and like that's also like
a weird area.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
So there's just I don't know, I.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
Feel like there's a lot of like negativity around taking
vacations kind of right.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
I think you're right. I mean, I think you know,
it's it's tricky, right because not everybody can afford to
take time off of work like that. And I want
to talk about that too, because like you know, when
I was a kid, my family couldn't We never went
on vacation. It was like our vacation for us was
maybe we drive to Galveston that day and like spend
the day at the beach, like a weekend day at
(05:04):
the beach, and that was the vacation because we couldn't
afford to go anywhere, Like, we just couldn't do it.
You know. The first vacation family vacation that we ever took,
I was fifteen, and we drove from Houston to Orlando.
That was fun. That was so fun, four of us
(05:25):
in the car, two teenagers.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Right, it was a long right, you do it in
one day?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
I think we did it in two days. I remember
sleeping in the car, like I remember we were asleep
in the back of the car, me and my sister.
I think we were parked at a like a travel
you know, like one of those state travel stops or whatever. Right,
I don't recommend this is probably really dangerous, but I
think that's what my parents did overnight and then we
(05:56):
drove to Orlando. And then you know what they did,
God bless them. They had these things where like time
shares will sit you through like a six hour time
share presentation, but then at the end they'll give you
passes to Disney. Yeah, my parents did that for us.
They sat through, they sat through one of those fucking
things for like six hours, you know, said no, said no,
(06:18):
said no, and then got four park Hopper passes And
that's what we did the next day. We went. So sweet.
It's very sweet. But it's hard. It's hard for like
working people to take vacations. You know. My mom was,
she was working in a hotel at the time. My
dad was I think at the time, he was driving trucks,
so like it was hard for them to get time off.
(06:40):
You know. It's like so on one hand, taking vacations
can be really stressful because it's like, oh, how are
we gonna like do this, Like how are we going
to have the money to do this, the time to
do this. You know. It's almost like a stressful experience
around a thing that's supposed to be relaxed.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
It's supposed to be good for you and be relaxing. Yeah.
I was really lucky growing up.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
My dad always had his two weeks vacation and we
went to Miami every summer, wow, and we would stay
in my grandmother's well.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
When I was really little, we.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
Actually a couple summers stayed in one of those like
art deco hotels on South Beach because this was before
South Beach.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Was like South Beach and it was and they were.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Such cool buildings and then like you just crossed the
street and the beach is right there.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
And then but this.
Speaker 4 (07:34):
Was like they weren't, you know, remodeled yet they were old,
like South Beach was pretty empty, Like it wasn't the
scene that it became. Because once that became that my
parents were like, oh, we can't afoord that.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
That is so what a sentence.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
But I remember staying in those hotels and being.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Like, this is awesome, this is so cool.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
And we would go every summer because my mom's siblings
lived there and my grandmother lived there. And then we
stayed in my grandmother's condo a bunch of times. There
was another time where my dad found an apartment to
I think maybe it was through someone he knew or something, Yeah,
(08:17):
and we would just squeeze into like small apartments. My
brother and I would sleep on a sleeper sofa or
on the floor. Yeah, and we'd just go for two
weeks and we'd see the family and we'd go to
the beach every day. And that was And then there
were when I was older, around ten or twelve, there
were a few summers where these family friends we went
(08:37):
on these big group vacations. We went to Dominican Republic,
we went to can Kun once, and then we went
on a cruise once and so it was like a
bunch of kids.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
It was like five families. And that was the first
time I saw my mom drunk. Oh my god. On
the Crustian, they.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Had a kid's club.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
I didn't see my parents except when we would land
somewhere and like go do stuff.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
But we're on the ship.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I did not see my parents. I was like, this
is the best vacation ever.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
And so the parents were also just like partying down
that is getting.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Lit so crazy, man, Like I cannot even My parents
were like, you have to hold my hand. Until I
was like fifteen, I cannot imagine like roaming a cruise
ship on my own with a group of kids.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Yeah, it was wild.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
Isn't that crazy? Isn't that crazy? I was just like
it was it was. It was the best, but yeah,
it was.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
It was so much fun. We did those.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Yeah, we did like two or three vacations with that group,
and then yeah we went back to going to Miami. Dude.
You know what's funny now as an adult, like it's like,
you know, you think about when we were kids, it
was like, this is fun, We're going on vacation. But
now as an adult, I'm like, oh my god, this
is this is not a vacation, you know, like this
(10:03):
is not with children. Oh, with children, like it is
and it isn't you know what I mean, Like with kids,
it's not. Well, I can see why your parents were like,
go to the kid's club.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
One hundred percent.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
It's not a vacation unless there is a kid's club,
to be honest, when you have children, and like, there
is this Huffington Post article a few years ago that
went viral. A bunch of moms had like sent it
to me, and it's so funny because it's so true.
It's called Vacation or Trips a Helpful Guide for Parents.
(10:36):
And I'm just going to read you a few quotes
because it's so spot on. If your final destination has
a kitchen, you are not on vacation. You are on
a trip.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Oh my god, so real, so real, because you have
to fill up that kitchen with snacks.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
Yeah, and you have small children, especially if you're going
with a baby, and you're like, we got a store
milk or breast milk or formula.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
We need a fridge.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
We got an AIRBNBB can't stay at a hotel you
are on a trip. Do you remember when you were
like young and free and it was like, oh, there's kitchen,
let's fill it with booze. Yeah, you know anymore?
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Now filled with breast milk. Call in the front desk.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Can I empty this mini fridge to put some snacks.
If you are in a hotel room with two double beds,
trippity trip trip, Ah, it's so real. If you are
going to see a real.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Or visiting an aquarium trip. If you are torking about
a field in ninety degree heat, you are on a trip.
If you are doing a jigsaw puzzle.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Trip, how dare you? How I will?
Speaker 4 (11:42):
I will contest that last one, because how luxury is
to like just be in a in a rental house
or in a hotel room doing a puzzle.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Doing a jigsaw puzzle. That's heaven. Yeah, heaven. We did
the look at the jigsaw puzzle. The last time we
were on vacation and we were like focused on it.
I've never been so close to my family. It was like,
we're going to put this thing together. You know.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
That's so real.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
But yeah, it's it changes when you have children. And
as funny as that article is, I have to say
it did help uh me. It helped me kind of
just reframe things I do with my kids trips, you know.
And and for David as well, like it really helped
(12:32):
him just like, Okay, we're not necessarily going to relax,
I know, unless there's a kids club.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
More more.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
That's the thing about like vacation is like you're supposed
to relax, right, Like that is how cool? But you
life with a job and all the people you take
care of and all the responsibilities that we have. It's
like finding For me sometimes it's like I don't have
(13:11):
the ability to go on a vacation, so like I'm
trying to treat little things I do during the week
like a mini vacation, but it's not the same. Like
it's almost like you need multiple days in a row
where you're not thinking about your life, you know what
I mean?
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Yeah, man, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Because they're really good for you, Like they're really good
for your I don't know everything, your well being or everything.
It's like I don't know. I mean, I love them
so much.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
I do too, and I feel like it's when I
do get it, and you know. Also, the other thing
that's really hard when you have kids is like trying
to do any sort of getaway with your spouse or
your partner without kids require like really, David and I
try to get one in once a year, and it
(14:05):
usually is when my parents come to visit, or if
we go to see them and we can leave the
kids with them and just do like and it's usually
just like a night or two and.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
It's we're driving somewhere.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
But I will say that those little mini trips are
incredible and like we feel the effects.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
For a long time, you know what I mean. Like
it can be a short thing.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Sometimes just a weekend is like such a reset and
such a you know, spending that entire Saturday from the
moment you wake up till you go to bed with.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Your partner with no kids. It's so rare.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
And then when you just get that one day, you're
like floating from it. For me, for like a while
like I feel it for a long time, you know,
and it reminds me like, oh, this is really important.
I really have to try to make this happen at
least once a year.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Side note, imagine our kids listening to this someday and
just like crying. I don't about it, Like my mom's
me and she always wanted to leave on vacation. No
that's not true, I just need a minute.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
I'd be like, to wait till you have your kids
and you'll understand.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Yeah, I mean like, but also I can see that
like a lot of my friends that are childless, that
have chosen childless lives also really benefit from taking time
away because it's just like letting your life go. Our
mutual friend Lena, who told me once she was like, yeah,
you need to like you need at least I think
(15:39):
she said four days, and I was like, four days, Lena,
I can't. I don't know where I'm going to get
four days. But she was like, well, the first three
days you don't really you're not really acclimated to the vacation.
By the fourth day, it's like your body just like
settles into the relaxation mode. And I think she's right
because I have had. I was like, right after my
(16:01):
dad died, I went on like a retreat and it
was I think it was six days, and she was
right by like the fifth day. I was like, oh wow,
and I was able to deal with all the stuff
that I hadn't been mentally able to deal with because
life was just like coming at me. You know, I
think she's right about it. I don't know. I mean,
(16:22):
who knows. I think that's done studies.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
They've done studies.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
There's some studies. Do you do you work on vacation?
Do you leave your phone? Like? Do you read it?
Do you are you up in those emails and stuff?
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Well, like I have to be Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
I think it. I definitely think there have been times
where I've you know, told my manager like, don't contact me.
I am off, I'm on I'm on Mars for five days.
But then they're like, hey, so you said, yeah, this
is a really good oportunity, right, I just wanted to
send you aside.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
So, but ninety percent of a time we are traveling
with a mini fucking tripod and you know, with a
little tiny travel ring light just in case.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
I have never done that. That's really smart I have
like a little one that like fits easily in a suitcase,
and it's like a really, send me the link.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
I will send me the lisk the list.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
You know. I had an audition for I don't know
if I can say this name.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
For something impressive and big.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
It was something impressive and big. It was. It was
for this movie. Oh okay, it didn't end up getting
made anyway.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
I think I auditioned for that too.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Yeah, the morning the morning of my dad's funeral, the
morning of my dad's funeral, and I was like, I
don't think I could do this. I'm like, I did,
but can she do it any other day? And they
were like, uh, it's she doesn't change her schedule. And
I was like, okay, all right, okay, I will never
(17:59):
do that again. I'll never ever do that again. Yeah,
because life is like some things like emails, Yes you
can answer them on vacation, but like, I will never
put myself in the position again where I'm on like
a rip or a vacation where I know in my
heart that I shouldn't do that work thing, and I
do it anyway, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
Yeah, I can't believe you did that.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
I was really good.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
But I think I bet you were.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
It was a callback. That's right, it was a callback.
That's why I get it.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
Oh, that makes sense, that makes sense.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
I get the pressure of yeah, when you're like close
to something and everyone on your team is freaking out.
But I think is that part also of like when
we are in some type of time off or vacation
or trip, that we feel guilty if we totally disconnect,
if we totally are like I'm not available, don't bother me,
(18:54):
like right, it's I think, especially as.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
Because essentially we're gig workers.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Like when we were younger and like struggling actors, David
and I didn't take any trips because we were always
scared of missing an audition, always scared of missing an opportunity,
and we took very very few trips or vacations.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Yeah, I don't think I did anything for a really
really long time, like it was. You know, maybe I
went on like a day trip to Disneyland or something,
but I didn't do no, like.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
No, thank Yeah, I got one that's contractor or gig
worker that you don't necessarily have like official paid time off. Yeah,
even if you can afford it, you just have to say,
like I'm unavailable for any jobs that come.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Up these two weeks or this week. And it's scary
to say that, right, It's like it's kind of impossible,
I think, depending on like your place in life. I
feel like now, like I said, like, now, how as
an as a I don't know what do I want
to say? Oh? Are we elder millennials? Is that what
(20:07):
we are? O? God?
Speaker 3 (20:08):
I fucking hate that for you so much.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
As an elder millennial with a hump, I.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Calling myself a millennial because.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
It's like I don't mind it. It's fine, I don't care.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
I just also just like all of them. But anyway, go.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Ahead in the way in the way of like I
don't care, I kind of am at the point where
I'm like, I don't. I can't. If I if I
have scheduled out like two days to be away, I'm
gonna take them, you know, like I'm going to tate them,
come hell or high water. I'm not gonna you know,
I'll pick up my phone for an emergency or something,
(20:45):
and I'll reply to friends text. But if it's like, hey,
we need you to come back, like I don't think
so man, Like, yeah, I really can't, Like there's maybe
that job is just not for me, you know, like
maybe it's not mine.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
Same.
Speaker 4 (20:59):
It's taken twenty years, but I finally have gotten to
that point as well where I'm just like no, I
will just be okay with saying no to all the things.
It happened actually a couple summers ago. I think that
was the first time that I was a It was
a little indie comedy movie that I really wanted to do.
(21:20):
We were in Florida with our kids and our family,
and they wanted me to come back early and cut
the trip short so the audition or like no to
do it, to like shoot, and I basically said I
think I bowed out like twice. I was like, well then,
and it was so scary to do because I was
(21:43):
like putting all this It was kind of like the
first little thing I did after Brooklyn ended, and so
I was like, oh, I need to like get this
ball rolling and momentum, all the stupid shit we.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Tell ourselves about our career dune stuff.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
And I and my family was looking at me like
like we're gonna go home like early, like what?
Speaker 4 (22:05):
And then I put my foot down and said, you know,
what this is not for me, like just give it
to someone else, Like I I gotta just listen to
my gut. So another talking talked about.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
And then they they ended up working it out. They
ended up changing the.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Date, did they really? Yeah? It ended up like it.
Speaker 4 (22:25):
Took them longer to cast another role and everything ended
up working out and I got to stay and it
was all this kind of stress for nothing in the end,
So it worked out, It worked out, thank God. But
I think that moment of empowering myself to be like
I'm gonna say no and I'm just gonna let this
one go and trust that like another job will happen
and come yeah, was like yeah, a moment for me
(22:48):
of like, yeah, this is how I think I need
to be from now on. Like I've worked really hard
to get where I am in this phase of my life,
and I can. I need to prioritize my my the
things that are important to me and my family and
you know, and that time, that family time, that trip
(23:10):
time is important.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
It's important for all of us, like we bond.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Yeah, because you don't get it back either. My boys
get along better on trips, like it's really good for
their relationship. Like and they're little, and they're little now, yeah,
and they like want to go places with you. It's
like you want to take advantage of that. Yes, Or
(23:37):
when you guys go on vacation, do you do you
pack for everybody?
Speaker 3 (23:41):
Oh my god, I.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Do you do? I knew it. I do? I do?
And then I I am bitter about it the whole time,
like why gotta do all this? David will be like
tell me what to do, and I'm like, go away,
you won't do it right. Yeah. Also sometimes like when
they're like tell me what to do, I'm like, fit
is mental work for me to make you a list?
(24:04):
Do it yourself. Brad is much better about that now,
But like I cannot. I am like I don't know
if I have undiagnosed like something ADHD, but like I
need another person sitting in the room with me to
pack my suitcase otherwise I cannot. It takes me hours,
Melissa hours to pack one suitcase. It is I cannot focus.
(24:27):
I'm like, I I cannot, I cannot do it. I
also wonder sometimes if I have something undiagnosed, I hyper
focus on my packing. But then I also, like a
little squirrel will like do tangents in my packing. So
like I'll be like packing the boys bags and then
I'll like go to the kitchen to like fill up
(24:48):
my coffee mug, and I'll be like, oh, write snacks,
and then I'll pack another bag with like snacks, and
I'll get on this like packing tangent.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
And then I go back to the suitcase and I'm
like where was I?
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Oh, right, this, and then you know, and that's and
it's like all these little side trips.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
And that's what's hard about packing.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
Even when I make a fucking list, I'm like, you know,
I have.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
A list, yes, And then love to roll, the float,
the little clothes. Everything is like super neatly packed organized.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
I heard. I heard you're supposed to like lay flat
and fold because it takes up more space if you roll.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
I feel like it takes up less space. If you roll,
I feel like I fit more things if I roll.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
I I just I'm really trying. I'm really trying to
like to do like, Okay, so we have a vacation
coming up, Brad and I are going to We're going
out of the country. That's really really exciting. Beautiful red yes,
oh thank you, I just got made me in a
(25:50):
cure of my vacam and it looks really pretty, thank you. Uh.
I am trying to like mentally put together like a
like a vacation wardrobe, and I'm I'm so I feel
so much anxiety about my vacation wardrobe. I wish I
wish I was a different person, you know what I mean,
(26:14):
Like I wish I was like, ah, I wish I
was the kind of woman that was like all my
clothes are chic and neutral. But I'm not. I'm you know,
I have like four different vintage bowling shirts that I
want to take with me, and I don't know if
any of them match what, you know what I mean, Like,
I just am not. I have a really hard time
(26:36):
narrowing down vacation clothes because it's not how I normally dress.
Like normally, I go in the closet and I'm like, Okay,
what's the inspiration, you know, like, what is the weird
one thing that I want to wear today? And then
I build outfit from there. But like when you're on vacation,
you're you're down to like ten things that you can
fit in your carry on and I'm not checking it
back to go to Europe. I have seen the tiktoks.
(26:57):
It is a mistake.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Smart so like I'm bringing.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
One bag, but it is.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
It's totally stressful to plan outfits ahead of time.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
I don't. I can't. It's really hard. I feel like
some people are really good at it, and it is
not a skill that I have in my arsenal. I'm
wearing the same tank top three days in a row,
like that is sinky. I did buy like little. I
will say this in terms of prep. I am listen.
(27:27):
I'm great at shopping. I am good at getting on
Amazon and being like we need these little I bought
these little packets that you can wash clothes in the sink. Oh,
I bought one of those. I bought like an emergency
medical kit. I bought medicine, like little packs of I
have like advil, decongestent, sinus medication. Because I was like,
(27:49):
I'm not gonna be in Italy. I'm not gonna be
in Italy with diarrhea, trying to like find a drug
store and being like bourjoor no, I don't even fucking
speak Italian like diarrheo, like what the hell how do
you say diarrhea? And in Italian I don't know. I
don't I just did what people do to us with Spanish.
(28:09):
I added an oh oh no, I'm sorry Italians that
was plucked up. I'm so sorry. I apologize for my
I mean, how do you say it in Spanish?
Speaker 4 (28:21):
It's probably pretty close to you probably could actually get
in Italy. You could get away with uh just speaking
Spanish and probably most people would half understand you.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
I think you should try it.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
I mean, you make you do an experiment.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
And send me some videos for sure.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
God, you know, my Spanish accent is pretty dec My
Italian accent is a sad Okay, I want to I
want to talk about because I did read some stuff
about vacations and how good they are for your mind
and body.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
Oh yeah, let's get into the nerd corner.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Is that what we're calling the nerd corner of A
seven and MILSA. So I read this study, Okay. It
was a small study. Sixty three different workers eligible for
paid vacation attended a lab visit during which their blood
was drawn and they also did an interview assessing their
vacationing behavior in the last twelve months and their metabolic syndrome.
(29:21):
Which is like, okay, so let me read you this
metabolic syndrome. This is related, I promise.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Hold on, I'm into it, I'm following, and I am interested.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Please. Metabolic syndrome is a cluster of conditions that increases
the risk of heart disease, stroke, and diabetes. Metabolic syndrome
includes high blood pressure, high blood sugar, too much body
fat around the waste, and irregular cholesterol levels. Latinos are
at increased risk of metabolic syndrome, which is like, that's
(29:50):
really scary to think that because we're working hard. I'm
going to think about like my parents met me too,
you know, and culture I'm working hard. I'm like, oh,
I can't afford to take vacation. I can't afford today.
It's like I can't afford not to actually, like if
I want to be around for a long time. This
study basically said that they're all of those people that
(30:10):
were actually taking vacations, they lowered their risk of metabolic syndrome.
Like their blood showed they were at lower risk of
metabolic syndrome because when you go on vacation, you're calm,
you relax, your blood pressure is lower, you're walking a
lot you're resting more, you're sleeping more. Even like a
small increase in the amount of sleep that you get
(30:30):
helps your metabolic rate, Like isn't that that's while it's
like a help, Like it's an actual health thing. Like
it's a risk that you're putting you're putting yourself at
risk if you don't take time to rest and vacation.
Is that fucked up?
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Girl?
Speaker 2 (30:51):
It's so fucked up because like my brain tells me, like,
you're so lazy for doing this, Like how dare you
like leave for a week and go to another country?
Like what are you doing? Like what opportunities are you
leaving behind? Oh? What about your kid that you're like
leaving with your mom and sister? Like what babe, babe, bah,
don't go, don't go, don't go. You know you're gonna
be around longer for your kid and you're maybe, yeah,
(31:14):
that can be even a better parent to your kid
because you at a moment of rest and rejuvenation And yeah,
like we think of health is so much bigger than
just like what we do day to day. It's I
think these big moments we take for ourselves And it's
such a good reminder, like to hear something like that
of like this has real effects on your body, on
(31:37):
your longevity on there's this ripple effect that happens, you know. Yeah,
And it's such a good reminder of just like don't
fucking feel guilty, man, go on my no bigger, go
on a trip.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Go on a trip.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Go on the trip, because like life is short, life
is sure.
Speaker 4 (31:54):
I mean, you know, like if it's short, simple camping
or it's you know, no camping.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
I'm thinking of.
Speaker 4 (32:04):
Like things that don't cost a lot of money, like
to do things that are like.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
You can do on the cheap, you know, or like
the beach.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
I'll do camping. No, I can't.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
Same, I'm not. No, I'm city as fuck.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Pee in the woods.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
No camping twice with my brother.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
My brother's really big into camping, and but he does
like camping light and we did like a campground that
was by a river that had bathrooms and puts an
air mattress in a tent and he brings like a
little grill lamping.
Speaker 3 (32:36):
And it was like lamping.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
I love it, and that's nice, amazing, But there's nothing
that I could ever convince my husband to even.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
Do lamping.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
As city as I think I am. I'm married to
someone who is even more city but also will like
go into the middle of the ocean and be fine.
Like he's that kind of guy, but he's he's selective
about his nature, his nature. Yeah, but yeah, it's got
to do it. We got to get out there.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
More better.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Do you feel like you like learned anything today. I
mean I feel like you're saying it right now, like
you get gotta do it. Yeah. I just feel like
kind of motivated to make it a priority and like
do it make it happen.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
Yeah, it's important.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Yeah, it is important. Thanks, because I think I was
feeling very guilty about going.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Oh my god, girl, no, drop the guilt. Your kid's
going to be great. She's gonna have a great time.
She's also going to have her own little vaca with
her dah and her family. And you guys are going
to have an amazing.
Speaker 4 (33:42):
Time and just like enjoy every second and your closer
will look fabulous. Okay, and you're gonna send me videos
of you speaking Spanish to Italians and it's going to
be great.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
If you're Italian, please write in and let us know
how you say diarrhea and Italian because I'd really love
to know, not that I'm gonna need it because I
have my want. We want to be just because someone
else has diarrhea. While I'm we know what's going to get.
The food in Italy is incredible. What am I talking
about this that we're like gonna listen? I can't wait.
(34:17):
I'm I don't know, I can't wait, but also like
it might just happen. Yeah, it's fine, it's fine. I'm prepared.
I feel like I feel like I learned what God,
I can't believe I said diarrhas so many times today,
I I wow. Sorry, if you're listening to this with
(34:38):
your kids, do you feel a little more better?
Speaker 3 (34:41):
I do feel more better.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Do you feel more better I am about Vaka? I do
feel Yeah, I do. I feel a lot more better
about vacation, especially since we discussed all these you know,
the reasons in favor of.
Speaker 3 (34:55):
Agree and I love that. And I'm excited for your
trip too.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
I'll bring you back something. What do you want food?
Speaker 3 (35:04):
Yeah, bring me back up.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
I gave bring you I'll bring you like some something
from Modona. That's where we're going. Oh yeah, we're going
to like the food center of Italy, like there's literally
an Italy theme park.
Speaker 4 (35:18):
Bring me a bottle of something. I don't care what
it is, bottle of something.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Great, Mulso you have to post it on your Instagram
so people can see what I brought you. I will,
I will, Okay, all right, all right, bye friends, Bye.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Friends, Bye more.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Do you have something you'd like to be more better
at that you want us to talk about in a
future episode.
Speaker 4 (35:42):
Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried
one of our tips and tricks?
Speaker 2 (35:45):
Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at
gmail dot com and include a voice note if you
want to be featured on the pod. Ooh, More Better
with Stephanie Melissa is a production from WV Sound and
iHeartMedia's Mikuta podcast network, hosted by me, Steffie Beatriz and
Melissa Fumero. More Better is produced by Isis Madrid, Leo Clem,
and Sophie Spencer Zaebos. Our executive producers are Wilmer Valderrama
(36:09):
and Leo Clem at w V Sound. This episode was
edited by Isis Madrid and engineered by Sean Tracy and
features original music by Madison Davenport and Hello Boy.
Speaker 4 (36:19):
Our cover art is by Vincent Remy's and photography by
David Avalos. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
See you next week.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
Suckers by
More, more better, more, a little bit more better More.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Welcome to More Better, a podcast where we stop pretending
to have it all together and embrace the journey of
becoming a little more better every day, or at least
trying to. That's most Fumarow and that's Stephanie Beatrice and
welcome here. We are here, we are doing.
Speaker 3 (00:31):
I'm pretty good.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
How are you? Yeah? Yeah, I have a weird creek
in my neck thing like not my neck, but you
know the area where like when you get older you
get a little hump uh huh. I have a criok
at my ump. Oh, I have a criok in my shop.
It's really see like aging. It's not for the week, No,
it's not.
Speaker 4 (00:51):
I think I slept weird or there was a child
in my bed in the middle of the night, and
sleep weird.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Hold a tense position while you're driving too much. If
you're driving right now, relax your shoulders to get there.
I swear to God, I think it's the wrong pillow. Whatever,
it's fine. I'll be fine. I'll survive. I will so bad.
Have you done anything lately that's a little more better
for your neck? Perhaps I went to pilates yesterday. That
(01:22):
was good. That is good. Oh my god, is that
where I hurt my neck? So stupid on a dumb
Oh god, that's so that's so annoying. That's so annoying
if that's where I hurt my neck, because you know,
you pay like twenty dollars to go to I mean
twenty dollars if you get a deal. These classes are
(01:44):
so expensive. They're so expensive. Anyway, I took care of
myself and went to pilates. Let me try to be
positive about it. But you thought, really good, you moved
your body, you went to pilates, you showed up, you
did the thing. Yeah it was good.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
That's big.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Yeah you. I also worked out this week for the
first time in two weeks. I we're at YEP, called
my my friend and my trainer, Ricky, and I said
I had this day off or this morning off, and
he was like, let's do it. And then he teased
me the whole time about like do you remember how
to do push ups, in which I enjoy? Oh, but
(02:21):
I cannot.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Yeah. I know that's not your vibe, but I enjoy that.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Yeah, I can't do a one on, I can do
I can do a one on one if the trainer
is very positive person Like my friend Jenna is a
trainer and she's amazing and she's super positive and she's
like pushy. But I can't do like standing over you.
That's from your dance background.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Oh a hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
I just want somebody standing over you with the canes
stomping on the floor. No, and shout out to Ricky.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
I love him.
Speaker 4 (02:51):
He's really great and I think he gets my sense
of humor now, so he's like a little more looser
with me. But he's definitely like the Eastern European stoic
and he does I think he reminds me of ballet
teachers I used to.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Have, but he absolutely does.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Yeah, that's the vibe.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
And that's why it like pushes me because I'm like,
I want to impress you out and that's Meanwhile, I
quit la like in second grade, so I was like,
this is hard. I can't do this. I don't want
any part of this. Bye. Yeah, well, listen, we both
took care of our bodies kind of this kind in
my hump. In my homp, Melissa, it's like right where
(03:35):
older people get a little I know, but you don't
have a hump my lovely lady lumps. Oh my god,
my hump is like an old lady. That's happening, your
old lady hump, your old latest sexy lump in the beck.
My hump has a crook in it.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
More better?
Speaker 2 (04:00):
What are we talking about this week?
Speaker 4 (04:02):
We are talking about taking vacations.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Yes, because we don't do it very often. I don't
think Americans in general do it very often. But I
think it's.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Really not ingrained in our culture in any way at all.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Yeah, nh, it's weird, isn't it. I think our society
makes you like feel bad if you go on vacation sometimes,
and like especially if it's like a good vacation or
a nice vacation or you know. And then there's also
like the weird social media pressure of like people like
when they post about vacations and like that's also like
a weird area.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
So there's just I don't know, I.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
Feel like there's a lot of like negativity around taking
vacations kind of right.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
I think you're right. I mean, I think you know,
it's it's tricky, right because not everybody can afford to
take time off of work like that. And I want
to talk about that too, because like you know, when
I was a kid, my family couldn't We never went
on vacation. It was like our vacation for us was
maybe we drive to Galveston that day and like spend
the day at the beach, like a weekend day at
(05:04):
the beach, and that was the vacation because we couldn't
afford to go anywhere, Like, we just couldn't do it.
You know. The first vacation family vacation that we ever took,
I was fifteen, and we drove from Houston to Orlando.
That was fun. That was so fun, four of us
(05:25):
in the car, two teenagers.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
Right, it was a long right, you do it in
one day?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
I think we did it in two days. I remember
sleeping in the car, like I remember we were asleep
in the back of the car, me and my sister.
I think we were parked at a like a travel
you know, like one of those state travel stops or whatever. Right,
I don't recommend this is probably really dangerous, but I
think that's what my parents did overnight and then we
(05:56):
drove to Orlando. And then you know what they did,
God bless them. They had these things where like time
shares will sit you through like a six hour time
share presentation, but then at the end they'll give you
passes to Disney. Yeah, my parents did that for us.
They sat through, they sat through one of those fucking
things for like six hours, you know, said no, said no,
(06:18):
said no, and then got four park Hopper passes And
that's what we did the next day. We went. So sweet.
It's very sweet. But it's hard. It's hard for like
working people to take vacations. You know. My mom was,
she was working in a hotel at the time. My
dad was I think at the time, he was driving trucks,
so like it was hard for them to get time off.
(06:40):
You know. It's like so on one hand, taking vacations
can be really stressful because it's like, oh, how are
we gonna like do this, Like how are we going
to have the money to do this, the time to
do this. You know. It's almost like a stressful experience
around a thing that's supposed to be relaxed.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
It's supposed to be good for you and be relaxing. Yeah.
I was really lucky growing up.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
My dad always had his two weeks vacation and we
went to Miami every summer, wow, and we would stay
in my grandmother's well.
Speaker 3 (07:15):
When I was really little, we.
Speaker 4 (07:17):
Actually a couple summers stayed in one of those like
art deco hotels on South Beach because this was before
South Beach.
Speaker 3 (07:24):
Was like South Beach and it was and they were.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
Such cool buildings and then like you just crossed the
street and the beach is right there.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
And then but this.
Speaker 4 (07:34):
Was like they weren't, you know, remodeled yet they were old,
like South Beach was pretty empty, Like it wasn't the
scene that it became. Because once that became that my
parents were like, oh, we can't afoord that.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
That is so what a sentence.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
But I remember staying in those hotels and being.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Like, this is awesome, this is so cool.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
And we would go every summer because my mom's siblings
lived there and my grandmother lived there. And then we
stayed in my grandmother's condo a bunch of times. There
was another time where my dad found an apartment to
I think maybe it was through someone he knew or something, Yeah,
(08:17):
and we would just squeeze into like small apartments. My
brother and I would sleep on a sleeper sofa or
on the floor. Yeah, and we'd just go for two
weeks and we'd see the family and we'd go to
the beach every day. And that was And then there
were when I was older, around ten or twelve, there
were a few summers where these family friends we went
(08:37):
on these big group vacations. We went to Dominican Republic,
we went to can Kun once, and then we went
on a cruise once and so it was like a
bunch of kids.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
It was like five families. And that was the first
time I saw my mom drunk. Oh my god. On
the Crustian, they.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Had a kid's club.
Speaker 4 (09:01):
I didn't see my parents except when we would land
somewhere and like go do stuff.
Speaker 3 (09:06):
But we're on the ship.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I did not see my parents. I was like, this
is the best vacation ever.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
And so the parents were also just like partying down
that is getting.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Lit so crazy, man, Like I cannot even My parents
were like, you have to hold my hand. Until I
was like fifteen, I cannot imagine like roaming a cruise
ship on my own with a group of kids.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Yeah, it was wild.
Speaker 4 (09:33):
Isn't that crazy? Isn't that crazy? I was just like
it was it was. It was the best, but yeah,
it was.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
It was so much fun. We did those.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Yeah, we did like two or three vacations with that group,
and then yeah we went back to going to Miami. Dude.
You know what's funny now as an adult, like it's like,
you know, you think about when we were kids, it
was like, this is fun, We're going on vacation. But
now as an adult, I'm like, oh my god, this
is this is not a vacation, you know, like this
(10:03):
is not with children. Oh, with children, like it is
and it isn't you know what I mean, Like with kids,
it's not. Well, I can see why your parents were like,
go to the kid's club.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
One hundred percent.
Speaker 4 (10:15):
It's not a vacation unless there is a kid's club,
to be honest, when you have children, and like, there
is this Huffington Post article a few years ago that
went viral. A bunch of moms had like sent it
to me, and it's so funny because it's so true.
It's called Vacation or Trips a Helpful Guide for Parents.
(10:36):
And I'm just going to read you a few quotes
because it's so spot on. If your final destination has
a kitchen, you are not on vacation. You are on
a trip.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Oh my god, so real, so real, because you have
to fill up that kitchen with snacks.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
Yeah, and you have small children, especially if you're going
with a baby, and you're like, we got a store
milk or breast milk or formula.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
We need a fridge.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
We got an AIRBNBB can't stay at a hotel you
are on a trip. Do you remember when you were
like young and free and it was like, oh, there's kitchen,
let's fill it with booze. Yeah, you know anymore?
Speaker 3 (11:10):
Now filled with breast milk. Call in the front desk.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Can I empty this mini fridge to put some snacks.
If you are in a hotel room with two double beds,
trippity trip trip, Ah, it's so real. If you are
going to see a real.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Or visiting an aquarium trip. If you are torking about
a field in ninety degree heat, you are on a trip.
If you are doing a jigsaw puzzle.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Trip, how dare you? How I will?
Speaker 4 (11:42):
I will contest that last one, because how luxury is
to like just be in a in a rental house
or in a hotel room doing a puzzle.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Doing a jigsaw puzzle. That's heaven. Yeah, heaven. We did
the look at the jigsaw puzzle. The last time we
were on vacation and we were like focused on it.
I've never been so close to my family. It was like,
we're going to put this thing together. You know.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
That's so real.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
But yeah, it's it changes when you have children. And
as funny as that article is, I have to say
it did help uh me. It helped me kind of
just reframe things I do with my kids trips, you know.
And and for David as well, like it really helped
(12:32):
him just like, Okay, we're not necessarily going to relax,
I know, unless there's a kids club.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
More more.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
That's the thing about like vacation is like you're supposed
to relax, right, Like that is how cool? But you
life with a job and all the people you take
care of and all the responsibilities that we have. It's
like finding For me sometimes it's like I don't have
(13:11):
the ability to go on a vacation, so like I'm
trying to treat little things I do during the week
like a mini vacation, but it's not the same. Like
it's almost like you need multiple days in a row
where you're not thinking about your life, you know what
I mean?
Speaker 3 (13:28):
Yeah, man, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Because they're really good for you, Like they're really good
for your I don't know everything, your well being or everything.
It's like I don't know. I mean, I love them
so much.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
I do too, and I feel like it's when I
do get it, and you know. Also, the other thing
that's really hard when you have kids is like trying
to do any sort of getaway with your spouse or
your partner without kids require like really, David and I
try to get one in once a year, and it
(14:05):
usually is when my parents come to visit, or if
we go to see them and we can leave the
kids with them and just do like and it's usually
just like a night or two and.
Speaker 3 (14:16):
It's we're driving somewhere.
Speaker 4 (14:18):
But I will say that those little mini trips are
incredible and like we feel the effects.
Speaker 3 (14:24):
For a long time, you know what I mean. Like
it can be a short thing.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
Sometimes just a weekend is like such a reset and
such a you know, spending that entire Saturday from the
moment you wake up till you go to bed with.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Your partner with no kids. It's so rare.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
And then when you just get that one day, you're
like floating from it. For me, for like a while
like I feel it for a long time, you know,
and it reminds me like, oh, this is really important.
I really have to try to make this happen at
least once a year.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Side note, imagine our kids listening to this someday and
just like crying. I don't about it, Like my mom's
me and she always wanted to leave on vacation. No
that's not true, I just need a minute.
Speaker 3 (15:12):
I'd be like, to wait till you have your kids
and you'll understand.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Yeah, I mean like, but also I can see that
like a lot of my friends that are childless, that
have chosen childless lives also really benefit from taking time
away because it's just like letting your life go. Our
mutual friend Lena, who told me once she was like, yeah,
you need to like you need at least I think
(15:39):
she said four days, and I was like, four days, Lena,
I can't. I don't know where I'm going to get
four days. But she was like, well, the first three
days you don't really you're not really acclimated to the vacation.
By the fourth day, it's like your body just like
settles into the relaxation mode. And I think she's right
because I have had. I was like, right after my
(16:01):
dad died, I went on like a retreat and it
was I think it was six days, and she was
right by like the fifth day. I was like, oh wow,
and I was able to deal with all the stuff
that I hadn't been mentally able to deal with because
life was just like coming at me. You know, I
think she's right about it. I don't know. I mean,
(16:22):
who knows. I think that's done studies.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
They've done studies.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
There's some studies. Do you do you work on vacation?
Do you leave your phone? Like? Do you read it?
Do you are you up in those emails and stuff?
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Well, like I have to be Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
I think it. I definitely think there have been times
where I've you know, told my manager like, don't contact me.
I am off, I'm on I'm on Mars for five days.
But then they're like, hey, so you said, yeah, this
is a really good oportunity, right, I just wanted to
send you aside.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
So, but ninety percent of a time we are traveling
with a mini fucking tripod and you know, with a
little tiny travel ring light just in case.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
I have never done that. That's really smart I have
like a little one that like fits easily in a suitcase,
and it's like a really, send me the link.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
I will send me the lisk the list.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
You know. I had an audition for I don't know
if I can say this name.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
For something impressive and big.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
It was something impressive and big. It was. It was
for this movie. Oh okay, it didn't end up getting
made anyway.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
I think I auditioned for that too.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Yeah, the morning the morning of my dad's funeral, the
morning of my dad's funeral, and I was like, I
don't think I could do this. I'm like, I did,
but can she do it any other day? And they
were like, uh, it's she doesn't change her schedule. And
I was like, okay, all right, okay, I will never
(17:59):
do that again. I'll never ever do that again. Yeah,
because life is like some things like emails, Yes you
can answer them on vacation, but like, I will never
put myself in the position again where I'm on like
a rip or a vacation where I know in my
heart that I shouldn't do that work thing, and I
do it anyway, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (18:20):
Yeah, I can't believe you did that.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
I was really good.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
But I think I bet you were.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
It was a callback. That's right, it was a callback.
That's why I get it.
Speaker 3 (18:28):
Oh, that makes sense, that makes sense.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
I get the pressure of yeah, when you're like close
to something and everyone on your team is freaking out.
But I think is that part also of like when
we are in some type of time off or vacation
or trip, that we feel guilty if we totally disconnect,
if we totally are like I'm not available, don't bother me,
(18:54):
like right, it's I think, especially as.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
Because essentially we're gig workers.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Like when we were younger and like struggling actors, David
and I didn't take any trips because we were always
scared of missing an audition, always scared of missing an opportunity,
and we took very very few trips or vacations.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Yeah, I don't think I did anything for a really
really long time, like it was. You know, maybe I
went on like a day trip to Disneyland or something,
but I didn't do no, like.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
No, thank Yeah, I got one that's contractor or gig
worker that you don't necessarily have like official paid time off. Yeah,
even if you can afford it, you just have to say,
like I'm unavailable for any jobs that come.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
Up these two weeks or this week. And it's scary
to say that, right, It's like it's kind of impossible,
I think, depending on like your place in life. I
feel like now, like I said, like, now, how as
an as a I don't know what do I want
to say? Oh? Are we elder millennials? Is that what
(20:07):
we are? O? God?
Speaker 3 (20:08):
I fucking hate that for you so much.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
As an elder millennial with a hump, I.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Calling myself a millennial because.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
It's like I don't mind it. It's fine, I don't care.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
I just also just like all of them. But anyway, go.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Ahead in the way in the way of like I
don't care, I kind of am at the point where
I'm like, I don't. I can't. If I if I
have scheduled out like two days to be away, I'm
gonna take them, you know, like I'm going to tate them,
come hell or high water. I'm not gonna you know,
I'll pick up my phone for an emergency or something,
(20:45):
and I'll reply to friends text. But if it's like, hey,
we need you to come back, like I don't think
so man, Like, yeah, I really can't, Like there's maybe
that job is just not for me, you know, like
maybe it's not mine.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
Same.
Speaker 4 (20:59):
It's taken twenty years, but I finally have gotten to
that point as well where I'm just like no, I
will just be okay with saying no to all the things.
It happened actually a couple summers ago. I think that
was the first time that I was a It was
a little indie comedy movie that I really wanted to do.
(21:20):
We were in Florida with our kids and our family,
and they wanted me to come back early and cut
the trip short so the audition or like no to
do it, to like shoot, and I basically said I
think I bowed out like twice. I was like, well then,
and it was so scary to do because I was
(21:43):
like putting all this It was kind of like the
first little thing I did after Brooklyn ended, and so
I was like, oh, I need to like get this
ball rolling and momentum, all the stupid shit we.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Tell ourselves about our career dune stuff.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
And I and my family was looking at me like
like we're gonna go home like early, like what?
Speaker 4 (22:05):
And then I put my foot down and said, you know,
what this is not for me, like just give it
to someone else, Like I I gotta just listen to
my gut. So another talking talked about.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
And then they they ended up working it out. They
ended up changing the.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Date, did they really? Yeah? It ended up like it.
Speaker 4 (22:25):
Took them longer to cast another role and everything ended
up working out and I got to stay and it
was all this kind of stress for nothing in the end,
So it worked out, It worked out, thank God. But
I think that moment of empowering myself to be like
I'm gonna say no and I'm just gonna let this
one go and trust that like another job will happen
and come yeah, was like yeah, a moment for me
(22:48):
of like, yeah, this is how I think I need
to be from now on. Like I've worked really hard
to get where I am in this phase of my life,
and I can. I need to prioritize my my the
things that are important to me and my family and
you know, and that time, that family time, that trip
(23:10):
time is important.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
It's important for all of us, like we bond.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Yeah, because you don't get it back either. My boys
get along better on trips, like it's really good for
their relationship. Like and they're little, and they're little now, yeah,
and they like want to go places with you. It's
like you want to take advantage of that. Yes, Or
(23:37):
when you guys go on vacation, do you do you
pack for everybody?
Speaker 3 (23:41):
Oh my god, I.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Do you do? I knew it. I do? I do?
And then I I am bitter about it the whole time,
like why gotta do all this? David will be like
tell me what to do, and I'm like, go away,
you won't do it right. Yeah. Also sometimes like when
they're like tell me what to do, I'm like, fit
is mental work for me to make you a list?
(24:04):
Do it yourself. Brad is much better about that now,
But like I cannot. I am like I don't know
if I have undiagnosed like something ADHD, but like I
need another person sitting in the room with me to
pack my suitcase otherwise I cannot. It takes me hours,
Melissa hours to pack one suitcase. It is I cannot focus.
(24:27):
I'm like, I I cannot, I cannot do it. I
also wonder sometimes if I have something undiagnosed, I hyper
focus on my packing. But then I also, like a
little squirrel will like do tangents in my packing. So
like I'll be like packing the boys bags and then
I'll like go to the kitchen to like fill up
(24:48):
my coffee mug, and I'll be like, oh, write snacks,
and then I'll pack another bag with like snacks, and
I'll get on this like packing tangent.
Speaker 3 (24:55):
And then I go back to the suitcase and I'm
like where was I?
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Oh, right, this, and then you know, and that's and
it's like all these little side trips.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
And that's what's hard about packing.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
Even when I make a fucking list, I'm like, you know,
I have.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
A list, yes, And then love to roll, the float,
the little clothes. Everything is like super neatly packed organized.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
I heard. I heard you're supposed to like lay flat
and fold because it takes up more space if you roll.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
I feel like it takes up less space. If you roll,
I feel like I fit more things if I roll.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
I I just I'm really trying. I'm really trying to
like to do like, Okay, so we have a vacation
coming up, Brad and I are going to We're going
out of the country. That's really really exciting. Beautiful red yes,
oh thank you, I just got made me in a
(25:50):
cure of my vacam and it looks really pretty, thank you. Uh.
I am trying to like mentally put together like a
like a vacation wardrobe, and I'm I'm so I feel
so much anxiety about my vacation wardrobe. I wish I
wish I was a different person, you know what I mean,
(26:14):
Like I wish I was like, ah, I wish I
was the kind of woman that was like all my
clothes are chic and neutral. But I'm not. I'm you know,
I have like four different vintage bowling shirts that I
want to take with me, and I don't know if
any of them match what, you know what I mean, Like,
I just am not. I have a really hard time
(26:36):
narrowing down vacation clothes because it's not how I normally dress.
Like normally, I go in the closet and I'm like, Okay,
what's the inspiration, you know, like, what is the weird
one thing that I want to wear today? And then
I build outfit from there. But like when you're on vacation,
you're you're down to like ten things that you can
fit in your carry on and I'm not checking it
back to go to Europe. I have seen the tiktoks.
(26:57):
It is a mistake.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Smart so like I'm bringing.
Speaker 2 (27:01):
One bag, but it is.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
It's totally stressful to plan outfits ahead of time.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
I don't. I can't. It's really hard. I feel like
some people are really good at it, and it is
not a skill that I have in my arsenal. I'm
wearing the same tank top three days in a row,
like that is sinky. I did buy like little. I
will say this in terms of prep. I am listen.
(27:27):
I'm great at shopping. I am good at getting on
Amazon and being like we need these little I bought
these little packets that you can wash clothes in the sink. Oh,
I bought one of those. I bought like an emergency
medical kit. I bought medicine, like little packs of I
have like advil, decongestent, sinus medication. Because I was like,
(27:49):
I'm not gonna be in Italy. I'm not gonna be
in Italy with diarrhea, trying to like find a drug
store and being like bourjoor no, I don't even fucking
speak Italian like diarrheo, like what the hell how do
you say diarrhea? And in Italian I don't know. I
don't I just did what people do to us with Spanish.
(28:09):
I added an oh oh no, I'm sorry Italians that
was plucked up. I'm so sorry. I apologize for my
I mean, how do you say it in Spanish?
Speaker 4 (28:21):
It's probably pretty close to you probably could actually get
in Italy. You could get away with uh just speaking
Spanish and probably most people would half understand you.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
I think you should try it.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
I mean, you make you do an experiment.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
And send me some videos for sure.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
God, you know, my Spanish accent is pretty dec My
Italian accent is a sad Okay, I want to I
want to talk about because I did read some stuff
about vacations and how good they are for your mind
and body.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
Oh yeah, let's get into the nerd corner.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Is that what we're calling the nerd corner of A
seven and MILSA. So I read this study, Okay. It
was a small study. Sixty three different workers eligible for
paid vacation attended a lab visit during which their blood
was drawn and they also did an interview assessing their
vacationing behavior in the last twelve months and their metabolic syndrome.
(29:21):
Which is like, okay, so let me read you this
metabolic syndrome. This is related, I promise.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Hold on, I'm into it, I'm following, and I am interested.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Please. Metabolic syndrome is a cluster of conditions that increases
the risk of heart disease, stroke, and diabetes. Metabolic syndrome
includes high blood pressure, high blood sugar, too much body
fat around the waste, and irregular cholesterol levels. Latinos are
at increased risk of metabolic syndrome, which is like, that's
(29:50):
really scary to think that because we're working hard. I'm
going to think about like my parents met me too,
you know, and culture I'm working hard. I'm like, oh,
I can't afford to take vacation. I can't afford today.
It's like I can't afford not to actually, like if
I want to be around for a long time. This
study basically said that they're all of those people that
(30:10):
were actually taking vacations, they lowered their risk of metabolic syndrome.
Like their blood showed they were at lower risk of
metabolic syndrome because when you go on vacation, you're calm,
you relax, your blood pressure is lower, you're walking a
lot you're resting more, you're sleeping more. Even like a
small increase in the amount of sleep that you get
(30:30):
helps your metabolic rate, Like isn't that that's while it's
like a help, Like it's an actual health thing. Like
it's a risk that you're putting you're putting yourself at
risk if you don't take time to rest and vacation.
Is that fucked up?
Speaker 3 (30:50):
Girl?
Speaker 2 (30:51):
It's so fucked up because like my brain tells me, like,
you're so lazy for doing this, Like how dare you
like leave for a week and go to another country?
Like what are you doing? Like what opportunities are you
leaving behind? Oh? What about your kid that you're like
leaving with your mom and sister? Like what babe, babe, bah,
don't go, don't go, don't go. You know you're gonna
be around longer for your kid and you're maybe, yeah,
(31:14):
that can be even a better parent to your kid
because you at a moment of rest and rejuvenation And yeah,
like we think of health is so much bigger than
just like what we do day to day. It's I
think these big moments we take for ourselves And it's
such a good reminder, like to hear something like that
of like this has real effects on your body, on
(31:37):
your longevity on there's this ripple effect that happens, you know. Yeah,
And it's such a good reminder of just like don't
fucking feel guilty, man, go on my no bigger, go
on a trip.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
Go on a trip.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Go on the trip, because like life is short, life
is sure.
Speaker 4 (31:54):
I mean, you know, like if it's short, simple camping
or it's you know, no camping.
Speaker 3 (32:03):
I'm thinking of.
Speaker 4 (32:04):
Like things that don't cost a lot of money, like
to do things that are like.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
You can do on the cheap, you know, or like
the beach.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
I'll do camping. No, I can't.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
Same, I'm not. No, I'm city as fuck.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Pee in the woods.
Speaker 3 (32:19):
No camping twice with my brother.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
My brother's really big into camping, and but he does
like camping light and we did like a campground that
was by a river that had bathrooms and puts an
air mattress in a tent and he brings like a
little grill lamping.
Speaker 3 (32:36):
And it was like lamping.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
I love it, and that's nice, amazing, But there's nothing
that I could ever convince my husband to even.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
Do lamping.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
As city as I think I am. I'm married to
someone who is even more city but also will like
go into the middle of the ocean and be fine.
Like he's that kind of guy, but he's he's selective
about his nature, his nature. Yeah, but yeah, it's got
to do it. We got to get out there.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
More better.
Speaker 2 (33:08):
Do you feel like you like learned anything today. I
mean I feel like you're saying it right now, like
you get gotta do it. Yeah. I just feel like
kind of motivated to make it a priority and like
do it make it happen.
Speaker 3 (33:21):
Yeah, it's important.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Yeah, it is important. Thanks, because I think I was
feeling very guilty about going.
Speaker 3 (33:27):
Oh my god, girl, no, drop the guilt. Your kid's
going to be great. She's gonna have a great time.
She's also going to have her own little vaca with
her dah and her family. And you guys are going
to have an amazing.
Speaker 4 (33:42):
Time and just like enjoy every second and your closer
will look fabulous. Okay, and you're gonna send me videos
of you speaking Spanish to Italians and it's going to
be great.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
If you're Italian, please write in and let us know
how you say diarrhea and Italian because I'd really love
to know, not that I'm gonna need it because I
have my want. We want to be just because someone
else has diarrhea. While I'm we know what's going to get.
The food in Italy is incredible. What am I talking
about this that we're like gonna listen? I can't wait.
(34:17):
I'm I don't know, I can't wait, but also like
it might just happen. Yeah, it's fine, it's fine. I'm prepared.
I feel like I feel like I learned what God,
I can't believe I said diarrhas so many times today,
I I wow. Sorry, if you're listening to this with
(34:38):
your kids, do you feel a little more better?
Speaker 3 (34:41):
I do feel more better.
Speaker 2 (34:42):
Do you feel more better I am about Vaka? I do
feel Yeah, I do. I feel a lot more better
about vacation, especially since we discussed all these you know,
the reasons in favor of.
Speaker 3 (34:55):
Agree and I love that. And I'm excited for your
trip too.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
I'll bring you back something. What do you want food?
Speaker 3 (35:04):
Yeah, bring me back up.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
I gave bring you I'll bring you like some something
from Modona. That's where we're going. Oh yeah, we're going
to like the food center of Italy, like there's literally
an Italy theme park.
Speaker 4 (35:18):
Bring me a bottle of something. I don't care what
it is, bottle of something.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
Great, Mulso you have to post it on your Instagram
so people can see what I brought you. I will,
I will, Okay, all right, all right, bye friends, Bye.
Speaker 1 (35:34):
Friends, Bye more.
Speaker 2 (35:37):
Do you have something you'd like to be more better
at that you want us to talk about in a
future episode.
Speaker 4 (35:42):
Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried
one of our tips and tricks?
Speaker 2 (35:45):
Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at
gmail dot com and include a voice note if you
want to be featured on the pod. Ooh, More Better
with Stephanie Melissa is a production from WV Sound and
iHeartMedia's Mikuta podcast network, hosted by me, Steffie Beatriz and
Melissa Fumero. More Better is produced by Isis Madrid, Leo Clem,
and Sophie Spencer Zaebos. Our executive producers are Wilmer Valderrama
(36:09):
and Leo Clem at w V Sound. This episode was
edited by Isis Madrid and engineered by Sean Tracy and
features original music by Madison Davenport and Hello Boy.
Speaker 4 (36:19):
Our cover art is by Vincent Remy's and photography by
David Avalos. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Speaker 2 (36:29):
See you next week.
Speaker 3 (36:30):
Suckers by
Hosts And Creators
Stephanie Beatriz
Melissa Fumero
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