November 13, 2025 • 47 mins
Have you ever been in a cult? (Are you sure?) Are Disney Adults in a cult? What about Serious Coffee People? How obsessed with Mother God are you? On today’s episode, Stephanie and Melissa discuss all of the cults and cult-ish groups they’ve encountered in their lives, share which ones they surprisingly found themselves a part of and strategize about how to more better avoid cults in the future. Especially the TikTok dancing variety.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It was very weird and there was no critical You
could not be critical of the team leader at all,
Like any criticism was met with just like.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
A brick wall. That's the red flag, dude. It was crazy.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Like the team leader had a special name that we
all had to call her what I'm not even kidding, dude,
like a mother god or whatever, you know that cult
mother god. Yeah. Yeah, she had a special name that
we all had to call her at the practices and
if you didn't, someone would correct you. Wow, like we
were encouraged to like correct each other.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Whoa Yeah, Better Better.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Welcome to More Better, the podcast where we stopped pretending
to have it all together and embrace the what.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
The journey of something coming at and more better every day.
That's mostly a marrow and that's Stephanie Beatrice. Hi, Hi,
I can't wait for the editors to figure that one out.
That that was all over the place. We are not
going to redo it. It's not happening. How are you?
(01:20):
I am good? How are you friend? What are you
doing lately? That's a little more better?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Oh, I have been. I bought some electrolyte powder. I
bought some fucking electrolyte powder. To have in the mornings,
Like you said, Yeah, I bought a low sodium one.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Are you feeling good?
Speaker 1 (01:38):
I actually do feel I did leave it in the
other room oopsis, but I like it. It's it. I
took a bunch of pockets with me recently on like
a trip, and they were really great. And yeah, I
just am really, uh, what's the harm?
Speaker 2 (01:55):
What are I'm going to do?
Speaker 1 (01:56):
I'd been taking one that's a little less sodium because
the highestodium ones like give me the give me the bloats,
you know, they're they're intense. Yeah, yeah, but I'm liking it.
It's nice, right.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
I feel like it gives me a little like, uh
like a little perk up when I do it in
the morning. I know it's which I like.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
I definitely have felt a difference on the days that
I remember to take it.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
That's great. What have you been doing that's more better?
Thanks inspired by you? Oh that makes me feel good.
I just got a physical yesterday, and I feel like
I've been a little more better at just making sure
like all my doctor's appointments are being taken care of
(02:40):
while I am not working right now so much and
have some time. Yeah, I have a cyst in my
arm that I've had for like years. It's in like
a it's in a special place because it sort of
looks like a muscle sometimes, but it's getting bigger and
I just needed bitch. What Yeah, it's like this. I
(03:04):
forgot what it's called. It's one of those cists that, like,
for sure is not anything bad. What do they call it? God?
Speaker 1 (03:10):
And Gangle insists, Okay, yeah, those are the ones that
sometimes people have on their hands and they pop them.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yes, I think so, Lila. I had this one in
my twenties and got it taken out, and then almost
fifteen years later or more, I don't know, Uh, it
came back after I had axel. I don't know if
it was like pregnancy hormones. So people were saying, my god.
(03:38):
Some doctors have said that it means they didn't get
it all out the first time. But I'm like, for
fifteen years, like, oh my god, there was nothing and
then it just came back. But I guess I'm getting these.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Bodies are booty dude bodies now, whack.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
So I'm finally having a consultation about it. Okay, Okay,
So after saying for like a year that I'm going
to do it.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
That's great, congrats. It's very hard to make yourself do
things like that. You just want to go like it's fine, fine,
it's fine.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Brad had an MRS yesterday. Ooh nice for his shoulder.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
He's had like an issue in his shoulder. And it's
the same kind of thing. It's like I'm sure it's okay.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I'll just take some.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Pills or whatever, and like I'm really glad you did that. Man,
I'm really glad you you you're doing that.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Anything that's yeah, it's like anything that's off you just
gotta you're like, yes, it's annoying. Yes, you don't want
to like you know, I think what stopped me too
was having it like oh the stitches, and you know,
I don't want to have to like stop working out
for But it's like those are all dumb reasons, like this,
where is it? Where is it? It's like right here
(04:48):
like in the front. Yeah. So sometimes if I like
have my hand on my hip, it sort of folds
into like look like it makes me look like I
have a more defied shoulder muscle than I do. Yeah,
but then, like I've seen red carpet photos like a
little bit from the side and it's like boop and
you just like see a bump and it's like, oh,
(05:09):
that's that's not no, we need to get that out, guys.
The red carpet. It's growing, it's getting bigger. So it's like, yeah,
that's a little scar you get, like a cool little
scar there. Yeah, if you don't want I don't, uh no,
it's fine. I'm going to a plastic surgeon to see
if they can do it like in my armpit more.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Yeah, yeah, that's great, or at least if they have
to do it in the middle, it'll be like a
better scar because it's a plastic surgeon.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
My dermatologist has this incredible skin. It's like for scarring
because you know, like when I get acne, like turns
really dark brown dark, or like if I scrape my
foot or something, it's got like a huge dark spot.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
So she gave me this. Oh I can't remember what
it's call.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
I'll look it up right now, but it's like a
scar gel that you put on there and it is incredible.
Melissa like, okay, this is not an ad, guys, I'll
take it to you.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Maybe we could put it in the show now. Nice.
Scars also always turn dark or brown. Wait can you
see this one, this new burn when I got oh,
the white one. Yeah, that's the first time I've had
a scar look like this. Oh that's so interesting. No,
I never had a white scar.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Yeah, I've had you know what, I've had white spot
mating my face from sun.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Oh. I used to get those when I was a kid. Yeah. Yeah.
They used to tell me. I don't know if this
is true. They used to tell me it was because
I I touched lemon or something and then touched my
face and you bleached your skin. Yeah, like lemon or lime.
They're like, ah, you must have touched you know something citrus.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
I was like, cut to me with lather, like slathering
lemon in my hair, laying out by the pool. When
I was sixteen, kind of get blonde quote unquote blonde,
my orange ass hair and in your high Oh yeah, okay,
what was that week son in sun.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
In just turned my hair red? Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
And all the commercials would be like these white girls
with this beautiful blonde.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Hair like shiny, and I'd be like, yes, that is
what is about to happen. Yes, No, just got some
auburn ass hair more better. Okay, what are we talking
about today? We are talking about avoiding cults, getting more
better at avoiding cults. Guys, I know that was a
(07:32):
sharp right turn this, nurse. I tell you what.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
I'm excited to talk about this because I've had personal experience.
So let's just define cult really fast, which is like
the dictionary definition of cults is like devotion, great devotion,
intense devotion to a person, idea object, movement, or work
like a film or book or the object is the
(07:59):
thing that you're devoted to. And it's usually like a
small group of people. Sometimes it's a very big group
of people. Can be a system of religious relief, religious
beliefs or a formal religion. Can be like a political group.
Mega me.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Excuse you. Yeah, So like.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
The thing about cults stuff. The thing about cults though,
I do think they're fascinating. I listen to a lot
of true crime podcasts or whenever there's a cult episode.
I just think they're super fascinating. My sister listens to
some ex fundamentalists podcasts that are really fascinating that we
talk about sometimes what is that It's like fundamentalist Christianity,
(08:44):
and so you know, like there's super strict rules and like,
you know, they're religious beliefs in isolation from people. So like,
here's the thing I want to like, we have a
kind of the thing that I want to talk about
for versus my personal experience, which is like a mini
cult and it's.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Going to be tricky to talk about because I don't
want to name names. But I was part of a team.
When I first moved to LA.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
I had a really hard time because I all of
my friends were in New York mostly you know what
I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Yeah, yeah, you saw that. He saw the recognition go on.
Was like when were you almost part of a cult?
Right time?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Right? So I was like desperate for friends. I was
new to LA. I didn't have like a group that
was like my friends, right, And we had started work
and like work was cool and we were friendly at work.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
It was like the very beginning.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
It was the very beginning. And so I joined this team.
And when I joined, I had to audition and it
was very select process and I was like, oh wow,
I'd made it in, you know, and it was really
I didn't see the signs at first.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
I was just like I'm just part of this team.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
But there were things like we all had to dress
a certain way. We were all kind of expected to
like at our practices, we had to like it kind
of felt like you had to conform to a certain
practice look, right. So like certain certain people that were
(10:33):
already on the team had their like practice outfits, right,
And so you would come to practice and it would
be like, oh, I have to look like this. So
then you start like modifying how you're dressing a little bit,
or like modifying like how you like showing.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
A Yeah, it's like felt weird. It kind of plays.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
It's like you can be individual, but it kind of
has to be within this strict guideline, right, interesting, okay,
And like you know, for practice, I would never wear
like basketball shorts. That would not be okay, even though
what we were doing was super physical with our bodies
and it didn't really matter, but that's not what was expected.
(11:14):
And like in team, like in like the competitions or
the games or like the performances or whatever, we definitely
had to it had to look a certain way and
is less about a uniform and more about a look.
Like we were even encouraged to pluck our eyebrows a
certain way.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
And no eyebrows. Not the eyebrows.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
We were encouraged to the eyebrows specific specific eyebrow artists.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
That was, by the way, very expensive. Also, by the way,
the one part of your body that can like change forever.
Like all of us that survived the nineties will correct
you correct. Some of us got lucky and that shit
grew back. Yeah, but a lot of us it's not
up there. Oh yeah, it's definitely like not what it
(12:05):
could have what could have been? What could have been?
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Well, that was the thing, right, Like we were encouraged to,
Like I grew out my eyebrows for like four months.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
I remember the makeup artists so triggered by that.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
I remember the makeup artists on Brooklyn was like, can
I please pluck your eyebrows?
Speaker 2 (12:21):
I was like no, I'm not allowed. Like I was like,
I'm not allowed. There were things like.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Certain things that we were encouraged to eat, certain ways.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
We were encouraged to show up like.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
You kind of needed to be at I mean, this
was a these practices were all this is all unpaid, right, like, this.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Is like for fun. This was all making paid like
you're making friends, right.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Most Like I think I added it up once and
it was something like twelve hours of practice every week
and if you didn't go to the practices, you weren't
allowed to play, Like you weren't allowed to perform, to
be in the thing. You weren't allowed It was like, well,
you missed Friday's practice, so you can't come.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Wait. It was true for you even though you were
working on Brooklyn, Like if you couldn't yes because you
were on set.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Fuck that, and like and it made you feel you
were meant made to feel like you're letting everybody down.
It was like super and because this is like my
only friend group now, like the isolation of the group
became it was like you had to fit in and
(13:38):
and and people got cut, like people got like there
was a second round of auditions when I had been on.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
The team for a couple months, and.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
It was like certain people just didn't like it wasn't
the aesthetic, you know what I mean, like the I'm
making quote marks, but like they weren't the aesthetic. And
it's like, so what is this? Is this like casting
for an ad or are we playing on a team?
Like what are we actually doing here? It was very
weird and there was no critical. You could not be
critical of the team leader at all, Like any criticism
(14:15):
was met with just like the ball It was right, dude.
It was crazy like the team when leader had a
special name that we all had to call her what
I'm not even kidding dude, like a mother god or whatever,
you know that cult mother god.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Yeah, we're going to.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Talk about it in a minute, but like she had
a special name that we all had to call her. Wow,
the practices and if you didn't, someone would correct you,
Like we were encouraged to like correct each other.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Yeah, WHOA. What's interesting is I remember this time and
I remember like yeah, because it was still like early
Brooklyn days and and like for people that don't work
this job, like you know, if you're on a show
and a long running show like Brooklyn, like we all
(15:03):
got along from the get go. We all were like
very bonded, but you're still like coworkers and going to
work like you're keeping things like pretty professional in the beginning.
I don't think we really started to like open up
about our personal lives and stuff until like season two
or three. Yeah, right, like's it was also I think, yeah,
(15:26):
like it was more surface stuff like we talked about
our lives, but like we didn't get deep until like
later in the run, you know, yeah, and so so yeah,
So you and I obviously hit it off from the
get go, and we were like especially bonded, like being
scared about losing our jobs, being the two Latinas, and
(15:49):
we talked a lot about our lives and stuff. And
I remember you when you were doing this and like
talking about it, and you were like excited. But also
I remember thinking, like I can tell she really likes this,
but there's like when someone's giving like a stress energy,
do you know what I mean, when they're like I
really love this thing. It's really great, and it's like
it's fine, like you know, there's certain things, but like
it's okay, like you know, it's just like every oh
(16:13):
my god. And I remember clocking that like a little
bit here and there, not all the time, but I
didn't know you well enough to be like, hey, girl,
what's really going on? What's what's going on over there?
And uh? And I feel like we even talked about
I feel like you even invited me to like come
(16:34):
watch or even audition or something, and I was like, eh,
I was like group of girls make me nervous. I mean,
that's the thing. It's like answer, But it's just really
interesting because it wasn't until you were out of it
then you really started telling me like all that went on.
(16:56):
And I remember having that feeling of like, oh wow,
I picked up on a lit something maybe was off
about it, but not like that, not like where I
was like, oh, there's a red flag thing happening. Oh
I need to like really check in on my friends
and make sure she's okay. Yeah, you know, I just
sort of chalked it up to like, you know, how
(17:17):
gaggles of girls be crazy sometimes, gaggle certain gagles, right,
And I think that is what is terrifying to me
about cults is like you might not always know that
you don't know a lot of times it's like yeah,
because they are seemingly happy and excited and like doing
(17:41):
this new thing, and you're like, oh wow, I've never
seen you so energized or whatever, you know, and it's
like unless you get that spidey sense or you know
the person really well and you're like something's off and
you have the balls to be like, hey, like really
tell me more about this, it's so easy to miss.
But even then, even then, even even if you ask
(18:03):
the questions, even if you say right, you know, when
I was kind of deep in it, I I mean,
colts don't prey on people that are like happy and
well adjusted, right, like right, because the happy and well
adjusted women that were on that team, they didn't stay
(18:25):
like they would write. They'd be like, oh I gotta go,
oh you know yeah, or like.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Uh, women that had dealt with There was a girl
on the a woman on the team who had dealt
with some I'm like rubbing my heart, but like she
had dealt with some trauma, and she had such a
visceral reaction to being on the team, and she left
because she was like this is horrible. I don't know
how you're dealing with this. And I was like, oh, wow, bad,
(18:52):
you know, but like she knew it, she knew it
inside her gut.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
More better.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
I want to like jump down to like a little
bit of nerd time, because yeah, I think it's important
to sort of say like, Okay, so there's this doctor
who's a PhD. His name is Stephen Hassan. He developed
this model, which I think is really interesting, called the
byte model, to describe cults specific methods to recruit and
maintain control over people. BITE stands for behavior, information, thought,
(19:26):
and emotional control. The BITE models should be used to
help determine authoritarian control. Colts don't recruit you at your strongest.
They target people during transitions, new city, breakup, job loss, grief,
searching for meaning. Stephen Hassan is an American mental health
professional and an author who specializes in the area of cults.
(19:46):
And he also is an ex Mooney the Unification Church.
So he was actually in a cult and developed this model.
And I was reading this before our session, but like
I was reading some of it out loud to Brat
and he was like, oh, because so much of it
is like, let me read a couple things that are culty, right, Okay,
So in behavior behavior control, these are just like a
(20:11):
couple things. But you can look this up. It's freedomomind
dot com. But behavior control regulate individual's physical reality. Dictate where, how,
and with whom the member lives and associates or isolates.
Regulate diet, food and drink, hunger or fasting. Control types
of clothing hairstyles, eyebrows, eyebrows, eyebrows, eyebrows, no basketball shorts,
(20:39):
restrict leisure, entertainment, and vacation time. That again is like
those twelve hours of practices, and I was like, oh
my god, I don't I'm not doing anything. Permission required
for major decisions. You had to be like, is it
cool if I cut my hair? Imposed rules and regulations.
There's more right, Okay. Information control, one of them is
(21:01):
like deception, deliberately withhold information, distort information to make it
more acceptable. Systematically lie that was things that the leader
definitely did that we just didn't know at the time.
Encourage spying on other members so you were like encouraged
to like correct or like tell or like. Thought control
(21:24):
require members to internalize the group's doctrine as truth, like
this is how we do it, this is who we are.
Change a person's name or identity. Use of loaded language
and cliches, which constrict knowledge, stop critical thoughts, and reduce
complexities into platitudinous buzzwords. Encourage only good and proper thoughts.
(21:44):
Emotional control manipulate and narrow the range of feelings. Teach
emotion stopping techniques to block feelings of homesickness, anger, doubt,
make the person feel that problems are always their own fault,
never the leaders promote feeling of guilt or unworthiness, identity guilt,
you're not living up to your potential. That was a
(22:06):
big one because we would get like team notes, and
they were never everything was always like, here's the negatives,
here's the negatives. You guys aren't doing as good as
you can. And so like for a bunch of women
that feel wanted to, like, you know, perform and do well,
it was so it just be like, after a while,
(22:29):
is your your ego not your ego? Your sense of
self gets smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller,
and that's what they want. They want that because then
they can control you. And usually it's related in some
kind of way to like money or them having power
over you.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
I can't believe I was in it. I got out
and you got out. I got out and if you
weren't in it too long. I mean there's the other thing.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
They change and shift those cults because you know, like
they change all the time. Right now, you I don't
know anything about the TikTok dance cult thing because oh
my god, I want to hear about this because you
know about it.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Yes, So there is this documentary it's on Netflix. It's
called Dancing for the Devil. The sm so sorry, seven
M S seven M TikTok cult and our friend Wilmer
Valderrama produced it, which I didn't even realize until I
watched it. So during the pandemic, I got really into
(23:34):
we were. I was spending too much time on social media,
like we all were, and I had a new board,
so a lot of it was like me sitting, you know,
scrolling while I breastfed and stuff. And I got really
into these dancers that I found on Instagram because I
used to dance and I'm still obviously love dance, and
(23:55):
they all were doing these really cool videos and it
was different. They were all la based the way they
were shooting their videos, and it was mostly like hip hop,
but sometimes it was other dance styles. And what I
thought was cool was is like, you know, I would
follow one and then they would do a dance with
someone else, and I would follow that person. And I
(24:15):
started to notice that it was like a group of dancers,
and I was like, this is so cool. Look at
these cutie dancers like making content and like hustling getting
their names out there and like collaborating and yeah, and
all the like groups were like it was just cool.
Sometimes they would do big group numbers and sometimes whatever.
They would pair off in different ways. And there was
(24:37):
two dancers that were a couple and they were so
cute and sweet, and they like posted there when they
got engaged, and I was like, oh my god, Like
I was fully you're in it, in it following these
dancers and their lives and then trying to like suss
out if there were any other couples. It was. So
(25:00):
then this documentary comes out on Netflix and I recognize
the dancers that I follow, and I'm like, oh my god,
wait what this is ault?
Speaker 1 (25:11):
What adult?
Speaker 2 (25:13):
So apparently they all got approached or discovered by this
manager who had a company called seven M and he
also was part of a church and he was the
leader of the church. I know on all of these things.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Oh my god, tax evasion. It smells like tax evasion,
right that. So yeah, so he is like booking them
at events, helping produce all their videos, obviously getting a
percentage of any like endorsement deals they're getting, like because
now they're becoming like influencers on Instagram, like they all
(25:54):
have like so many like hundreds of thousands of followers. Yeah,
so they're getting brand da da whatever, and he's taking
money from them.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
And then in the documentary it says the couple the
cute couple that I loved. Apparently the girl used to
started dancing with her sister, but then met this manager
guy and started like distancing herself from her sister and
her whole family and like listen obviously, like no, it's
one point of view and all of these things, you
(26:25):
know what I mean, And like they never do they
interview the girl, the dancer. I don't think they do.
Her family though, seems seemingly very sweet, very worried, very
sad that their daughter has like cut them off. The
sister is like, this was my best friend day and
(26:45):
I don't understand, Like I'm devastated. I don't know what happened,
and yeah, and and so, and I just read as
we were like going through the outline because I was
looking up where is it? I was looking up just
to make sure I didn't forget because I saw the
documentary so long ago. And then I saw that in
(27:08):
this past August, the guy, the manager and church leader,
his house was raided by the FEDS and the couple
swipe wiped their social media oh so like, and then
it came out that he also like he wrapped all
of these dancers. And then a couple of dancers are
(27:28):
in the dock that like got out and they were
like that same thing, like you had to dress a
certain way, you had to look a certain way, you
had to isolate from your family, like he wouldn't let
you see your family, like you know, he was like
where your family? Like where the thing? But then it
also was like tangled up in like their careers and
their ambition, and he was like you need me to
(27:51):
like become successful, like I can get you there, and
and then the like weird church aspect god aspect, like
he also I think made it very like God wants
you to be successful and like I'm the one that's
going to show you a way. It was. I did
not expect it to be so dark and twisted, and
(28:12):
it's really sad. Like the dancers that got out that
that like talked about it because they also like you
could tell they still had love for like their friends,
but like they were like this is fucked up, and
I had out and like crazy and it was like
something that seemingly looked so innocent and that I couldn't
and then I and then I was like, I was like,
(28:34):
oh my god, do I do I unfollow them all
about a cult? Yeah? It was. It was you would
never think. But and apparently like there's still I mean
that couple is they wiped their social media? Apparently I
didn't notice. But now I'm like, yeah, I haven't seen
them on are they still together? Like are they I
(28:55):
think they're still together, They're still in the cult? Are
they still in this? I think so because this article.
Oh my god, Oh my god, I'm so stress. I
just saw this one part in the in the article
where it said Miranda's family said their concern grew and
when she declined to come home for a family funeral,
(29:17):
and then several attempts to contact the dancer when unanswered. Oh,
the final attempt to convince her, she was NonStop crying
and told them that she needed permission from someone closer
to God to attend the funeral. No, this is awful. See,
this is what I'm saying, Like, Okay, it seems like
you're not for yourself, but like, how do you It's
(29:41):
really hard for me to understand, like how you get
to that point even like how you give up that
much of yourself because is it just like you're so
you want to you don't want to be wrong, I'm
sure as part of it the sense of belonging, like
you know, you're like it said, like you're new to
(30:02):
a city or you're out of a breakup and you're
you're so lonely that you want you need that sense
of belonging to something. Maybe it's that too, a sense
of belonging to something bigger than you. That definitely, and
that's ways like like calling then, like you know what
an actual calling is, Like I don't know, but I
(30:25):
just it's still as hard for me to to really
imagine like giving up that much of my identity and autonomy. Yeah,
like like to say I need some although you know
what as you were talking before, and I was thinking
about like my time on the soap opera and like
(30:45):
certain things that we had to get permission for or
like or like I remember missing a couple family weddings
because I worked, like the summer theater job I worked,
had that like you're not gonna leave, Yeah, I'm not
(31:05):
going to leave the show, which is kind of culty
and even I missed my wedding.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
My best friend Jenna missed my wedding because she was
in a show, and they were like.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
You can't leave, Like you can't leave, you can't leave.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
I mean, I think that's COVID did a lot of
help with theater in that way, because now they have
swings and understudies even for like regional perform or they're
like unafraid to cancel.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
But like yeah, for everybody to be like, oh, we
could figure it out, like we could the show could
actually actually go on. Yeah, yeah, I value and like
people should be allowed to show up for like major
life events like but always it always felt like, you know,
a funeral was the only a funeral of someone close
(31:49):
to you, the only way you could get out of
a show. And that feels very culty to me. And
when I was younger, I just sometimes I wouldn't even
ask because I'd be like, there's no way, like I
could fire me, there's no they're gonna let me go
to my cousin's wedding. And I missin's wedding. That's fun.
I missed like a few family weddings because it shows
I was in and that mentality more better it's that
(32:18):
like this thing is bigger than you.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Yeah, And it's easy to kind of get caught up
in the feeling of like, yes, there is something bigger
than me.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
And like, look, whether you are religious or.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Believe in God or not, like it it can be
for people that believe in God, it can be like
really freeing to kind of go like, yes, there is
something bigger than me. I don't have to it's not
all on my shoulders. It's I'm part of something bigger. Right,
But like the problem is when people like twist that
(32:54):
and like you know what am I trying to say?
Like more, and like it's disgusting, Like it's really disgusting
when you think about like religious cults especially, like it's
so gross. But it's also like little by little, it's
not like overnight that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Also, like they're sneaky.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
It's sneaky as fuck. Like it's not like you get
get all these promises. Like there's these notes that we
have here, like how to know if something's a cult? Right,
Sociologists use different metrics like does it isolate its members?
Can you question the leader? Can you not be a
big one that's a big one? Can you leave freely?
Can is their financial exploitation? So like those are signs, right,
(33:39):
Like if someone's asking you to like give a bunch
of money right off the bat, or like trying to
get you to invest in this thing, or telling you like,
well you have to tie like fifty percent of your
paycheck to the religion or the church.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
You know, it's like do you like why are you that?
The reason? Like what are we doing here? Right? Like
I think I made that money?
Speaker 1 (34:03):
I mean I like to you know, like tithing I
think is cool in terms of like I I always
like try to think about like how can I give right?
But if somebody's saying to me, like you have to
you have to give to our Yeah, you know that's
different organization, and like if you don't like that, that's
(34:25):
the other thing. It's like, what are the consequences quote unquote,
It's like, ye, the consequences of you going to your
cousin's wedding are you're going to get fired and that
everybody in the industry is going to know that you're undependable,
like nobody can depend on you. It's like the consequences
are so scary that you kind of become like Okay,
I guess, I won't ask I guess, I won't.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
I want to guess the norm. Yeah, Like, yeah, I'm
not special. It's not everybody's missing weddings. Like that's just
what it is. You know, you are special. You are special,
and so is your person that you want to go
to would be therefore on their big day. Now, there are.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
There cults that you're in that you are kind of like,
I'm okay with being in this call.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Because I say I'm the coffee cult, the coffee coffee cult.
You're in the coffee cult. I mean, I'm trying. I'm
trying mushroom coffee today just because I can't believe you're
doing that. First of all, it feels like a different universe.
I still I'm undecided. It tastes a little bit like dirt, but.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Not.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
I don't know that I'm offended by it, you know, Okay, okay, yeah,
all right, it sound like a bad dirt.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
But the coffee cult is like you guys don't fuck
with shitty coffee, like you have to have your good coffee.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
Like I know, I get unreasonably offended when talk to
me about this. Talk to me about this because I
don't feel like it's that hard. It's not that hard hard.
It's not that hard to make good coffee. Yeah, And
I don't understand why every set in Hollywood has bad coffee.
I'm guessing it's a budget thing that that's where they
(36:07):
skimp out, like they have to buy so many beans
because they're making pots and pots of coffee ia right,
Like how many pots of coffee do you? I mean,
everybody's drinking coffee all day long on a set, so
probably they have to get like fucking ten pound bags
of coffee beans. But still I feel like, with a
little more effort, you could source some better beans, yes, please,
(36:32):
for an affordable price.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
Skimp on the the weird like nobody.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
Maybe it's vegetable tray, yes, or maybe it's skimp on
that making it into too, because sometimes it's like those
big ones and I don't know that they're capable of
making good coffee.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
But it's just really annoying to me. But I'm not
like deep in the cult where like I'm not, oh God,
what's the coffee that Dan Gore used to always make
with like the what's it called with the it's like
the glass thing and the pour over the poor not
Is it called a pour over? Yeah? Yeah, yeah. It's
like the kraph the thing and then the hot water
(37:11):
and then you weigh. Water takes forever to come down,
and it's like slower than a French pet press. Yeah.
I'm not that intense about it, but I do. I
do have a coffee maker that freshly grinds beans, because
I do feel like that makes a huge difference. Ah,
I know what cult you're part of. Tell me the
(37:33):
fun one the Disney call.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
The Disney adults, specifically the Disney and Disney adults. We
oftentimes didn't have the ability to go to Disney when
we were children. Some of us have memories of going
there for the first time we were teenagers. Me, I'm
raising my hands, and now I have expendable income and
got damn it.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
I'm going to spend it where.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
I want, against bend where I want.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
Okay, then I go to the parks. I'm gonna buy
shit for myself. I'm gonna eat all the snacks. I'm
gonna look things up before I go.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
My sister and I when we last went, it was
right at the beginning of the Halloween stuff at Disney,
and my sister and I she found on Canva someone
had put together a like a guide of all of
the Disney snacks, all of the.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Oh yeah, you sent it to me when we went
in August, the map, the map of Disneyland with all
of it. I think I got like one thing. I
was like, this is I was too like trying to
just get us on rides. Like I was like, it's
a lot of work to try to get these snacks
on top of all this other stuff. We were there.
I like, Disney is does it?
Speaker 1 (38:43):
Now?
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Why? Oh the I'm like, listen to me, look at me.
I know you did. Why Why do you hate it?
Why do tell me why you hate it? Wow? I
think it was a better system before. I hate the
Like when you have the what's the fast past, the magic?
What's it called the Genie? Yeah, it's you have to
(39:05):
be you literally have to be on your phone all
day long to make sure that you're getting on those cues,
that you're getting on those if you want to like
maximize the day and get on as many rise as
you can, it means that you are on your phone
the whole day. Like when we went and when I
went with Enzo last year, I was so happy that
his friend's mom came with me. Yeah, I invited her
(39:26):
and she's my friend and we were like, this will
be great. And then I realized, oh, it's good, there's
going to be another adult because I'm probably going to
be looking at my phone a lot. And then I
was looking at my phone so much more than I thought.
But it just kind of like is a bummer. And
I feel like the way it was before, where you
could just like show up and like scan your phone,
it was a simple. It was a better system before.
(39:46):
I don't remember exactly what it was, but it was
like I think you like showed up and like scanned
your phone and then maybe got a time or something
and you could like or maybe reserve multiple rides. I
don't know. But now it's like and then you can't
like reserve the a ride and till you've done that ride,
and then you're like, you know, so you're like constantly
rearranging your day around these fucking ride times. But of
(40:09):
course it's worth it because you're also like not really
waiting online and you can go on more lines. So
like it's just a lot.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
There, it is there, it is you have to prioritize
what you and your family want out of the day.
If your priority is writing as many rides as possible,
you will be on your phone. Yes, if your priority
is writing quite a few rides and then making sure
that you like maybe your next experience there will be
(40:38):
like I don't want to be on my phone as much.
You just stick in your pocket and like you're going
to do some eating and you're going to do some
shopping and you're gonna do some people watching, you know
what I mean? Like it it is I think this
This is as a cult member, I will say that
I do think it is. It is about like pioryizing
(41:00):
like what your family wants and and the give and
take of Like if we want to ride as many
rides as possible, some adult is going to be on
their phone and that part will suck. But if we
want to experience more of the park and the togetherness,
then you know, then Disney gets a little bit more
of your cash out of your pocket because they get
(41:23):
you eating, baby. But also like there are like other
things to experience at Disney, like the shows and there's
like right, I mean, have you ever gone on like
that big riverboat and like gone around you guys haven't
done that.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
I bet no. Yeah, we did do that, so sweet.
We haven't done that in a long time, but we
And there's like that one a little island you can
go on and like, oh yeah, we actually my kids
love that little island. The little island is so cute
and that's a great yeah if you're waiting, if you're
waiting for a ride time. The playground.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
Both of the playgrounds, the one in Mickey'stontown and also
the Redwood Forest one are just like made for mmmm.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
Oh, I don't think we've done the playgrounds.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
You gotta get a coffee and then take them to
the playground and you can just fucking sit with your
coffee and they go buck wild.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
It's so fun.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
That part is great. As a cult member, I have
like lots of tips. Should we do an episode on Disney?
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Okay, we literally could do an episode on Disney. I
will say going to Disney with Stephanie Beatrice is the
most fun because it reminded me of when I used
to go to Disney World as a kid and my
Florida cousins would like know all the hacks and like
god to contracts and like, yeah, one time my aunt
was pregnant, and she was like, we're gonna get all
(42:40):
all these rides super fast. She was like, watch this,
watch this more better.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
So in conclusion, I feel like, if you're in a
joyful cultuh that's okay.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
If one that allows you to have multi groups of friends, Yeah,
and not restrict.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
I mean, I've got people in my life that don't
give a shit about Disney, and uh.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
That's okay. Disney's okay with that. Yeah, Disney's okay with that.
I'm okay with that.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
I feel like, you know, if you're in a real
cult and and like just to say, like, I know
we're joking about this and having fun about it, but
like there are resources available if you if you are
feeling like you're listening to this and you're like, oh no,
I think maybe there's something wrong with like an organization
that I'm a part of, a group that I'm a
(43:35):
part of.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
There. Actually, before we go, yeah, we should we I
we should read these protection tips from Yeah yeah, please
do please do so. The first one, maintain relationships outside
any single group. That's like a big one. Right, we
all have like should have different groups of friends, even
if some are casual, you know, but you should and
that should be okay not Yeah. You don't want to
(43:56):
have one group of friends that's not weird weird. Be
weary of groups that demand immediate commitment or secrecy. Yes,
question why a group needs your money right now. Healthy
communities let you leave without consequences. Yes, ding ding ding ding.
If you can't criticize the leader, that's a red flag.
(44:18):
I think that's like the biggest One's huge, And then
this is a good one. Sleep on major decisions. Cults
pressure you to decide right now. Yeah, that's good. That's huge, huge, huge.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
And there's a website called people Leave Cults dot com
that can provide intervention, support and recovery.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
If you are feeling like maybe you don't really know how.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
To get out of the thing that you're in, maybe
you can just poke around and on that website and
see if anything speaks to you. I feel like, uh,
I know from personal experience, when the red flags are
red flagging and that little like buzzy buzzy back of
my head, pit of my stomach.
Speaker 2 (44:59):
Thing is happening.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Yeah, obviously like I Disney forever, but.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
Obviously, but coffee forever.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
Yeah, But I do you feel a little more better
about like avoiding avoiding the cult lifestyle.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
Yeah, I do. It wasn't something I was super worried about.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
Before this, but but it was fun to talk about.
Speaker 2 (45:25):
But it was fun to talk about. And also, yeah,
even if there's like one person listening to this who's like,
oh no, like we did, we did a service today,
so I'll take it.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
Yeah, watch some documentaries. There's tons out there. They're so
crazy to watch.
Speaker 2 (45:42):
And if you haven't seen Dancing for the Devil, go
check it out on Netflix or check out the podcast
Forgive Me for I Have Followed. It's hosted by one
of the ex Cult members, Kaliah Gray, and the executive
producer of the docuseries, Jessica Assevedo. They connect with ex members,
some are featured in the docs, some are not, their families,
(46:02):
journalists and cult experts.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
I love listening to this kind of stuff, so I mean, yeah,
I haven't listened to it yet, but it's now it's
on my list.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Same. I do want to watch more documentaries though, because yeah,
I think, yeah, it's fascinating.
Speaker 1 (46:17):
They're pretty fascinating and a wise man learns from another's mistakes.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
Yes, Oh, Sage Stephanie I stole it from somebody. Okay,
I love it. Okay. Uh. We'll see you guys next time.
See you next time. Bye bye, More Better.
Speaker 1 (46:36):
Do you have something you'd like to be more better
at that you want us to talk about in a
future episode?
Speaker 2 (46:40):
Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried
one of our tips and tricks?
Speaker 1 (46:44):
Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at
gmail dot com.
Speaker 2 (46:49):
And include a voice note if you want to be
featured on the pod.
Speaker 1 (46:51):
Ooh, More Better with Stephanie Melissa is a production from
WV Sound and iHeartMedia's Mikudura podcast network, hosted by me, stephan.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
Beatrice, and Melissa Fumero.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
More Better is produced by isis Madrid and Sophie Spencer Zebos.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
Our executive producers are Stephanie Beatrice, myself, Melissa Fumero, along
with Wilmar Valderrama and Leo Clem at w V Sound
and ISIS Madrid.
Speaker 1 (47:14):
This episode was edited by ISIS Madrid and engineered by
Sean Tracy and features original music by Madison Davenport and
Hello Boy.
Speaker 2 (47:21):
Our cover art is by vincent Remy's and photography by
David Abolos. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
See you next week, suck us Bye,
It was very weird and there was no critical You
could not be critical of the team leader at all,
Like any criticism was met with just like.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
A brick wall. That's the red flag, dude. It was crazy.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Like the team leader had a special name that we
all had to call her what I'm not even kidding, dude,
like a mother god or whatever, you know that cult
mother god. Yeah. Yeah, she had a special name that
we all had to call her at the practices and
if you didn't, someone would correct you. Wow, like we
were encouraged to like correct each other.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Whoa Yeah, Better Better.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Welcome to More Better, the podcast where we stopped pretending
to have it all together and embrace the what.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
The journey of something coming at and more better every day.
That's mostly a marrow and that's Stephanie Beatrice. Hi, Hi,
I can't wait for the editors to figure that one out.
That that was all over the place. We are not
going to redo it. It's not happening. How are you?
(01:20):
I am good? How are you friend? What are you
doing lately? That's a little more better?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Oh, I have been. I bought some electrolyte powder. I
bought some fucking electrolyte powder. To have in the mornings,
Like you said, Yeah, I bought a low sodium one.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Are you feeling good?
Speaker 1 (01:38):
I actually do feel I did leave it in the
other room oopsis, but I like it. It's it. I
took a bunch of pockets with me recently on like
a trip, and they were really great. And yeah, I
just am really, uh, what's the harm?
Speaker 2 (01:55):
What are I'm going to do?
Speaker 1 (01:56):
I'd been taking one that's a little less sodium because
the highestodium ones like give me the give me the bloats,
you know, they're they're intense. Yeah, yeah, but I'm liking it.
It's nice, right.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
I feel like it gives me a little like, uh
like a little perk up when I do it in
the morning. I know it's which I like.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
I definitely have felt a difference on the days that
I remember to take it.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
That's great. What have you been doing that's more better?
Thanks inspired by you? Oh that makes me feel good.
I just got a physical yesterday, and I feel like
I've been a little more better at just making sure
like all my doctor's appointments are being taken care of
(02:40):
while I am not working right now so much and
have some time. Yeah, I have a cyst in my
arm that I've had for like years. It's in like
a it's in a special place because it sort of
looks like a muscle sometimes, but it's getting bigger and
I just needed bitch. What Yeah, it's like this. I
(03:04):
forgot what it's called. It's one of those cists that, like,
for sure is not anything bad. What do they call it? God?
Speaker 1 (03:10):
And Gangle insists, Okay, yeah, those are the ones that
sometimes people have on their hands and they pop them.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yes, I think so, Lila. I had this one in
my twenties and got it taken out, and then almost
fifteen years later or more, I don't know, Uh, it
came back after I had axel. I don't know if
it was like pregnancy hormones. So people were saying, my god.
(03:38):
Some doctors have said that it means they didn't get
it all out the first time. But I'm like, for
fifteen years, like, oh my god, there was nothing and
then it just came back. But I guess I'm getting these.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
Bodies are booty dude bodies now, whack.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
So I'm finally having a consultation about it. Okay, Okay,
So after saying for like a year that I'm going
to do it.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
That's great, congrats. It's very hard to make yourself do
things like that. You just want to go like it's fine, fine,
it's fine.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Brad had an MRS yesterday. Ooh nice for his shoulder.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
He's had like an issue in his shoulder. And it's
the same kind of thing. It's like I'm sure it's okay.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I'll just take some.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Pills or whatever, and like I'm really glad you did that. Man,
I'm really glad you you you're doing that.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Anything that's yeah, it's like anything that's off you just
gotta you're like, yes, it's annoying. Yes, you don't want
to like you know, I think what stopped me too
was having it like oh the stitches, and you know,
I don't want to have to like stop working out
for But it's like those are all dumb reasons, like this,
where is it? Where is it? It's like right here
(04:48):
like in the front. Yeah. So sometimes if I like
have my hand on my hip, it sort of folds
into like look like it makes me look like I
have a more defied shoulder muscle than I do. Yeah,
but then, like I've seen red carpet photos like a
little bit from the side and it's like boop and
you just like see a bump and it's like, oh,
(05:09):
that's that's not no, we need to get that out, guys.
The red carpet. It's growing, it's getting bigger. So it's like, yeah,
that's a little scar you get, like a cool little
scar there. Yeah, if you don't want I don't, uh no,
it's fine. I'm going to a plastic surgeon to see
if they can do it like in my armpit more.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Yeah, yeah, that's great, or at least if they have
to do it in the middle, it'll be like a
better scar because it's a plastic surgeon.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
My dermatologist has this incredible skin. It's like for scarring
because you know, like when I get acne, like turns
really dark brown dark, or like if I scrape my
foot or something, it's got like a huge dark spot.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
So she gave me this. Oh I can't remember what
it's call.
Speaker 1 (05:50):
I'll look it up right now, but it's like a
scar gel that you put on there and it is incredible.
Melissa like, okay, this is not an ad, guys, I'll
take it to you.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Maybe we could put it in the show now. Nice.
Scars also always turn dark or brown. Wait can you
see this one, this new burn when I got oh,
the white one. Yeah, that's the first time I've had
a scar look like this. Oh that's so interesting. No,
I never had a white scar.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Yeah, I've had you know what, I've had white spot
mating my face from sun.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Oh. I used to get those when I was a kid. Yeah. Yeah.
They used to tell me. I don't know if this
is true. They used to tell me it was because
I I touched lemon or something and then touched my
face and you bleached your skin. Yeah, like lemon or lime.
They're like, ah, you must have touched you know something citrus.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
I was like, cut to me with lather, like slathering
lemon in my hair, laying out by the pool. When
I was sixteen, kind of get blonde quote unquote blonde,
my orange ass hair and in your high Oh yeah, okay,
what was that week son in sun.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
In just turned my hair red? Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
And all the commercials would be like these white girls
with this beautiful blonde.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
Hair like shiny, and I'd be like, yes, that is
what is about to happen. Yes, No, just got some
auburn ass hair more better. Okay, what are we talking
about today? We are talking about avoiding cults, getting more
better at avoiding cults. Guys, I know that was a
(07:32):
sharp right turn this, nurse. I tell you what.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
I'm excited to talk about this because I've had personal experience.
So let's just define cult really fast, which is like
the dictionary definition of cults is like devotion, great devotion,
intense devotion to a person, idea object, movement, or work
like a film or book or the object is the
(07:59):
thing that you're devoted to. And it's usually like a
small group of people. Sometimes it's a very big group
of people. Can be a system of religious relief, religious
beliefs or a formal religion. Can be like a political group.
Mega me.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Excuse you. Yeah, So like.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
The thing about cults stuff. The thing about cults though,
I do think they're fascinating. I listen to a lot
of true crime podcasts or whenever there's a cult episode.
I just think they're super fascinating. My sister listens to
some ex fundamentalists podcasts that are really fascinating that we
talk about sometimes what is that It's like fundamentalist Christianity,
(08:44):
and so you know, like there's super strict rules and like,
you know, they're religious beliefs in isolation from people. So like,
here's the thing I want to like, we have a
kind of the thing that I want to talk about
for versus my personal experience, which is like a mini
cult and it's.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Going to be tricky to talk about because I don't
want to name names. But I was part of a team.
When I first moved to LA.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
I had a really hard time because I all of
my friends were in New York mostly you know what
I'm talking about.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Yeah, yeah, you saw that. He saw the recognition go on.
Was like when were you almost part of a cult?
Right time?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Right? So I was like desperate for friends. I was
new to LA. I didn't have like a group that
was like my friends, right, And we had started work
and like work was cool and we were friendly at work.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
It was like the very beginning.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
It was the very beginning. And so I joined this team.
And when I joined, I had to audition and it
was very select process and I was like, oh wow,
I'd made it in, you know, and it was really
I didn't see the signs at first.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
I was just like I'm just part of this team.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
But there were things like we all had to dress
a certain way. We were all kind of expected to
like at our practices, we had to like it kind
of felt like you had to conform to a certain
practice look, right. So like certain certain people that were
(10:33):
already on the team had their like practice outfits, right,
And so you would come to practice and it would
be like, oh, I have to look like this. So
then you start like modifying how you're dressing a little bit,
or like modifying like how you like showing.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
A Yeah, it's like felt weird. It kind of plays.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
It's like you can be individual, but it kind of
has to be within this strict guideline, right, interesting, okay,
And like you know, for practice, I would never wear
like basketball shorts. That would not be okay, even though
what we were doing was super physical with our bodies
and it didn't really matter, but that's not what was expected.
(11:14):
And like in team, like in like the competitions or
the games or like the performances or whatever, we definitely
had to it had to look a certain way and
is less about a uniform and more about a look.
Like we were even encouraged to pluck our eyebrows a
certain way.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
And no eyebrows. Not the eyebrows.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
We were encouraged to the eyebrows specific specific eyebrow artists.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
That was, by the way, very expensive. Also, by the way,
the one part of your body that can like change forever.
Like all of us that survived the nineties will correct
you correct. Some of us got lucky and that shit
grew back. Yeah, but a lot of us it's not
up there. Oh yeah, it's definitely like not what it
(12:05):
could have what could have been? What could have been?
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Well, that was the thing, right, Like we were encouraged to,
Like I grew out my eyebrows for like four months.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
I remember the makeup artists so triggered by that.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
I remember the makeup artists on Brooklyn was like, can
I please pluck your eyebrows?
Speaker 2 (12:21):
I was like no, I'm not allowed. Like I was like,
I'm not allowed. There were things like.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Certain things that we were encouraged to eat, certain ways.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
We were encouraged to show up like.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
You kind of needed to be at I mean, this
was a these practices were all this is all unpaid, right, like, this.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Is like for fun. This was all making paid like
you're making friends, right.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Most Like I think I added it up once and
it was something like twelve hours of practice every week
and if you didn't go to the practices, you weren't
allowed to play, Like you weren't allowed to perform, to
be in the thing. You weren't allowed It was like, well,
you missed Friday's practice, so you can't come.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
Wait. It was true for you even though you were
working on Brooklyn, Like if you couldn't yes because you
were on set.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Fuck that, and like and it made you feel you
were meant made to feel like you're letting everybody down.
It was like super and because this is like my
only friend group now, like the isolation of the group
became it was like you had to fit in and
(13:38):
and and people got cut, like people got like there
was a second round of auditions when I had been on.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
The team for a couple months, and.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
It was like certain people just didn't like it wasn't
the aesthetic, you know what I mean, like the I'm
making quote marks, but like they weren't the aesthetic. And
it's like, so what is this? Is this like casting
for an ad or are we playing on a team?
Like what are we actually doing here? It was very
weird and there was no critical. You could not be
critical of the team leader at all, Like any criticism
(14:15):
was met with just like the ball It was right, dude.
It was crazy like the team when leader had a
special name that we all had to call her what
I'm not even kidding dude, like a mother god or whatever,
you know that cult mother god.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Yeah, we're going to.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Talk about it in a minute, but like she had
a special name that we all had to call her. Wow,
the practices and if you didn't, someone would correct you,
Like we were encouraged to like correct each other.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Yeah, WHOA. What's interesting is I remember this time and
I remember like yeah, because it was still like early
Brooklyn days and and like for people that don't work
this job, like you know, if you're on a show
and a long running show like Brooklyn, like we all
(15:03):
got along from the get go. We all were like
very bonded, but you're still like coworkers and going to
work like you're keeping things like pretty professional in the beginning.
I don't think we really started to like open up
about our personal lives and stuff until like season two
or three. Yeah, right, like's it was also I think, yeah,
(15:26):
like it was more surface stuff like we talked about
our lives, but like we didn't get deep until like
later in the run, you know, yeah, and so so yeah,
So you and I obviously hit it off from the
get go, and we were like especially bonded, like being
scared about losing our jobs, being the two Latinas, and
(15:49):
we talked a lot about our lives and stuff. And
I remember you when you were doing this and like
talking about it, and you were like excited. But also
I remember thinking, like I can tell she really likes this,
but there's like when someone's giving like a stress energy,
do you know what I mean, when they're like I
really love this thing. It's really great, and it's like
it's fine, like you know, there's certain things, but like
it's okay, like you know, it's just like every oh
(16:13):
my god. And I remember clocking that like a little
bit here and there, not all the time, but I
didn't know you well enough to be like, hey, girl,
what's really going on? What's what's going on over there?
And uh? And I feel like we even talked about
I feel like you even invited me to like come
(16:34):
watch or even audition or something, and I was like, eh,
I was like group of girls make me nervous. I mean,
that's the thing. It's like answer, But it's just really
interesting because it wasn't until you were out of it
then you really started telling me like all that went on.
(16:56):
And I remember having that feeling of like, oh wow,
I picked up on a lit something maybe was off
about it, but not like that, not like where I
was like, oh, there's a red flag thing happening. Oh
I need to like really check in on my friends
and make sure she's okay. Yeah, you know, I just
sort of chalked it up to like, you know, how
(17:17):
gaggles of girls be crazy sometimes, gaggle certain gagles, right,
And I think that is what is terrifying to me
about cults is like you might not always know that
you don't know a lot of times it's like yeah,
because they are seemingly happy and excited and like doing
(17:41):
this new thing, and you're like, oh wow, I've never
seen you so energized or whatever, you know, and it's
like unless you get that spidey sense or you know
the person really well and you're like something's off and
you have the balls to be like, hey, like really
tell me more about this, it's so easy to miss.
But even then, even then, even even if you ask
(18:03):
the questions, even if you say right, you know, when
I was kind of deep in it, I I mean,
colts don't prey on people that are like happy and
well adjusted, right, like right, because the happy and well
adjusted women that were on that team, they didn't stay
(18:25):
like they would write. They'd be like, oh I gotta go,
oh you know yeah, or like.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Uh, women that had dealt with There was a girl
on the a woman on the team who had dealt
with some I'm like rubbing my heart, but like she
had dealt with some trauma, and she had such a
visceral reaction to being on the team, and she left
because she was like this is horrible. I don't know
how you're dealing with this. And I was like, oh, wow, bad,
(18:52):
you know, but like she knew it, she knew it
inside her gut.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
More better.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
I want to like jump down to like a little
bit of nerd time, because yeah, I think it's important
to sort of say like, Okay, so there's this doctor
who's a PhD. His name is Stephen Hassan. He developed
this model, which I think is really interesting, called the
byte model, to describe cults specific methods to recruit and
maintain control over people. BITE stands for behavior, information, thought,
(19:26):
and emotional control. The BITE models should be used to
help determine authoritarian control. Colts don't recruit you at your strongest.
They target people during transitions, new city, breakup, job loss, grief,
searching for meaning. Stephen Hassan is an American mental health
professional and an author who specializes in the area of cults.
(19:46):
And he also is an ex Mooney the Unification Church.
So he was actually in a cult and developed this model.
And I was reading this before our session, but like
I was reading some of it out loud to Brat
and he was like, oh, because so much of it
is like, let me read a couple things that are culty, right, Okay,
So in behavior behavior control, these are just like a
(20:11):
couple things. But you can look this up. It's freedomomind
dot com. But behavior control regulate individual's physical reality. Dictate where, how,
and with whom the member lives and associates or isolates.
Regulate diet, food and drink, hunger or fasting. Control types
of clothing hairstyles, eyebrows, eyebrows, eyebrows, eyebrows, no basketball shorts,
(20:39):
restrict leisure, entertainment, and vacation time. That again is like
those twelve hours of practices, and I was like, oh
my god, I don't I'm not doing anything. Permission required
for major decisions. You had to be like, is it
cool if I cut my hair? Imposed rules and regulations.
There's more right, Okay. Information control, one of them is
(21:01):
like deception, deliberately withhold information, distort information to make it
more acceptable. Systematically lie that was things that the leader
definitely did that we just didn't know at the time.
Encourage spying on other members so you were like encouraged
to like correct or like tell or like. Thought control
(21:24):
require members to internalize the group's doctrine as truth, like
this is how we do it, this is who we are.
Change a person's name or identity. Use of loaded language
and cliches, which constrict knowledge, stop critical thoughts, and reduce
complexities into platitudinous buzzwords. Encourage only good and proper thoughts.
(21:44):
Emotional control manipulate and narrow the range of feelings. Teach
emotion stopping techniques to block feelings of homesickness, anger, doubt,
make the person feel that problems are always their own fault,
never the leaders promote feeling of guilt or unworthiness, identity guilt,
you're not living up to your potential. That was a
(22:06):
big one because we would get like team notes, and
they were never everything was always like, here's the negatives,
here's the negatives. You guys aren't doing as good as
you can. And so like for a bunch of women
that feel wanted to, like, you know, perform and do well,
it was so it just be like, after a while,
(22:29):
is your your ego not your ego? Your sense of
self gets smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller,
and that's what they want. They want that because then
they can control you. And usually it's related in some
kind of way to like money or them having power
over you.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
I can't believe I was in it. I got out
and you got out. I got out and if you
weren't in it too long. I mean there's the other thing.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
They change and shift those cults because you know, like
they change all the time. Right now, you I don't
know anything about the TikTok dance cult thing because oh
my god, I want to hear about this because you
know about it.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Yes, So there is this documentary it's on Netflix. It's
called Dancing for the Devil. The sm so sorry, seven
M S seven M TikTok cult and our friend Wilmer
Valderrama produced it, which I didn't even realize until I
watched it. So during the pandemic, I got really into
(23:34):
we were. I was spending too much time on social media,
like we all were, and I had a new board,
so a lot of it was like me sitting, you know,
scrolling while I breastfed and stuff. And I got really
into these dancers that I found on Instagram because I
used to dance and I'm still obviously love dance, and
(23:55):
they all were doing these really cool videos and it
was different. They were all la based the way they
were shooting their videos, and it was mostly like hip hop,
but sometimes it was other dance styles. And what I
thought was cool was is like, you know, I would
follow one and then they would do a dance with
someone else, and I would follow that person. And I
(24:15):
started to notice that it was like a group of dancers,
and I was like, this is so cool. Look at
these cutie dancers like making content and like hustling getting
their names out there and like collaborating and yeah, and
all the like groups were like it was just cool.
Sometimes they would do big group numbers and sometimes whatever.
They would pair off in different ways. And there was
(24:37):
two dancers that were a couple and they were so
cute and sweet, and they like posted there when they
got engaged, and I was like, oh my god, Like
I was fully you're in it, in it following these
dancers and their lives and then trying to like suss
out if there were any other couples. It was. So
(25:00):
then this documentary comes out on Netflix and I recognize
the dancers that I follow, and I'm like, oh my god,
wait what this is ault?
Speaker 1 (25:11):
What adult?
Speaker 2 (25:13):
So apparently they all got approached or discovered by this
manager who had a company called seven M and he
also was part of a church and he was the
leader of the church. I know on all of these things.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
Oh my god, tax evasion. It smells like tax evasion,
right that. So yeah, so he is like booking them
at events, helping produce all their videos, obviously getting a
percentage of any like endorsement deals they're getting, like because
now they're becoming like influencers on Instagram, like they all
(25:54):
have like so many like hundreds of thousands of followers. Yeah,
so they're getting brand da da whatever, and he's taking
money from them.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
And then in the documentary it says the couple the
cute couple that I loved. Apparently the girl used to
started dancing with her sister, but then met this manager
guy and started like distancing herself from her sister and
her whole family and like listen obviously, like no, it's
one point of view and all of these things, you
(26:25):
know what I mean, And like they never do they
interview the girl, the dancer. I don't think they do.
Her family though, seems seemingly very sweet, very worried, very
sad that their daughter has like cut them off. The
sister is like, this was my best friend day and
(26:45):
I don't understand, Like I'm devastated. I don't know what happened,
and yeah, and and so, and I just read as
we were like going through the outline because I was
looking up where is it? I was looking up just
to make sure I didn't forget because I saw the
documentary so long ago. And then I saw that in
(27:08):
this past August, the guy, the manager and church leader,
his house was raided by the FEDS and the couple
swipe wiped their social media oh so like, and then
it came out that he also like he wrapped all
of these dancers. And then a couple of dancers are
(27:28):
in the dock that like got out and they were
like that same thing, like you had to dress a
certain way, you had to look a certain way, you
had to isolate from your family, like he wouldn't let
you see your family, like you know, he was like
where your family? Like where the thing? But then it
also was like tangled up in like their careers and
their ambition, and he was like you need me to
(27:51):
like become successful, like I can get you there, and
and then the like weird church aspect god aspect, like
he also I think made it very like God wants
you to be successful and like I'm the one that's
going to show you a way. It was. I did
not expect it to be so dark and twisted, and
(28:12):
it's really sad. Like the dancers that got out that
that like talked about it because they also like you
could tell they still had love for like their friends,
but like they were like this is fucked up, and
I had out and like crazy and it was like
something that seemingly looked so innocent and that I couldn't
and then I and then I was like, I was like,
(28:34):
oh my god, do I do I unfollow them all
about a cult? Yeah? It was. It was you would
never think. But and apparently like there's still I mean
that couple is they wiped their social media? Apparently I
didn't notice. But now I'm like, yeah, I haven't seen
them on are they still together? Like are they I
(28:55):
think they're still together, They're still in the cult? Are
they still in this? I think so because this article.
Oh my god, Oh my god, I'm so stress. I
just saw this one part in the in the article
where it said Miranda's family said their concern grew and
when she declined to come home for a family funeral,
(29:17):
and then several attempts to contact the dancer when unanswered. Oh,
the final attempt to convince her, she was NonStop crying
and told them that she needed permission from someone closer
to God to attend the funeral. No, this is awful. See,
this is what I'm saying, Like, Okay, it seems like
you're not for yourself, but like, how do you It's
(29:41):
really hard for me to understand, like how you get
to that point even like how you give up that
much of yourself because is it just like you're so
you want to you don't want to be wrong, I'm
sure as part of it the sense of belonging, like
you know, you're like it said, like you're new to
(30:02):
a city or you're out of a breakup and you're
you're so lonely that you want you need that sense
of belonging to something. Maybe it's that too, a sense
of belonging to something bigger than you. That definitely, and
that's ways like like calling then, like you know what
an actual calling is, Like I don't know, but I
(30:25):
just it's still as hard for me to to really
imagine like giving up that much of my identity and autonomy. Yeah,
like like to say I need some although you know
what as you were talking before, and I was thinking
about like my time on the soap opera and like
(30:45):
certain things that we had to get permission for or
like or like I remember missing a couple family weddings
because I worked, like the summer theater job I worked,
had that like you're not gonna leave, Yeah, I'm not
(31:05):
going to leave the show, which is kind of culty
and even I missed my wedding.
Speaker 1 (31:10):
My best friend Jenna missed my wedding because she was
in a show, and they were like.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
You can't leave, Like you can't leave, you can't leave.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
I mean, I think that's COVID did a lot of
help with theater in that way, because now they have
swings and understudies even for like regional perform or they're
like unafraid to cancel.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
But like yeah, for everybody to be like, oh, we
could figure it out, like we could the show could
actually actually go on. Yeah, yeah, I value and like
people should be allowed to show up for like major
life events like but always it always felt like, you know,
a funeral was the only a funeral of someone close
(31:49):
to you, the only way you could get out of
a show. And that feels very culty to me. And
when I was younger, I just sometimes I wouldn't even
ask because I'd be like, there's no way, like I
could fire me, there's no they're gonna let me go
to my cousin's wedding. And I missin's wedding. That's fun.
I missed like a few family weddings because it shows
I was in and that mentality more better it's that
(32:18):
like this thing is bigger than you.
Speaker 1 (32:21):
Yeah, And it's easy to kind of get caught up
in the feeling of like, yes, there is something bigger
than me.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
And like, look, whether you are religious or.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Believe in God or not, like it it can be
for people that believe in God, it can be like
really freeing to kind of go like, yes, there is
something bigger than me. I don't have to it's not
all on my shoulders. It's I'm part of something bigger. Right,
But like the problem is when people like twist that
(32:54):
and like you know what am I trying to say?
Like more, and like it's disgusting, Like it's really disgusting
when you think about like religious cults especially, like it's
so gross. But it's also like little by little, it's
not like overnight that's the thing.
Speaker 2 (33:12):
Also, like they're sneaky.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
It's sneaky as fuck. Like it's not like you get
get all these promises. Like there's these notes that we
have here, like how to know if something's a cult? Right,
Sociologists use different metrics like does it isolate its members?
Can you question the leader? Can you not be a
big one that's a big one? Can you leave freely?
Can is their financial exploitation? So like those are signs, right,
(33:39):
Like if someone's asking you to like give a bunch
of money right off the bat, or like trying to
get you to invest in this thing, or telling you like,
well you have to tie like fifty percent of your
paycheck to the religion or the church.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
You know, it's like do you like why are you that?
The reason? Like what are we doing here? Right? Like
I think I made that money?
Speaker 1 (34:03):
I mean I like to you know, like tithing I
think is cool in terms of like I I always
like try to think about like how can I give right?
But if somebody's saying to me, like you have to
you have to give to our Yeah, you know that's
different organization, and like if you don't like that, that's
(34:25):
the other thing. It's like, what are the consequences quote unquote,
It's like, ye, the consequences of you going to your
cousin's wedding are you're going to get fired and that
everybody in the industry is going to know that you're undependable,
like nobody can depend on you. It's like the consequences
are so scary that you kind of become like Okay,
I guess, I won't ask I guess, I won't.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
I want to guess the norm. Yeah, Like, yeah, I'm
not special. It's not everybody's missing weddings. Like that's just
what it is. You know, you are special. You are special,
and so is your person that you want to go
to would be therefore on their big day. Now, there are.
Speaker 1 (35:03):
There cults that you're in that you are kind of like,
I'm okay with being in this call.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
Because I say I'm the coffee cult, the coffee coffee cult.
You're in the coffee cult. I mean, I'm trying. I'm
trying mushroom coffee today just because I can't believe you're
doing that. First of all, it feels like a different universe.
I still I'm undecided. It tastes a little bit like dirt, but.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
Not.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
I don't know that I'm offended by it, you know, Okay, okay, yeah,
all right, it sound like a bad dirt.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
But the coffee cult is like you guys don't fuck
with shitty coffee, like you have to have your good coffee.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
Like I know, I get unreasonably offended when talk to
me about this. Talk to me about this because I
don't feel like it's that hard. It's not that hard hard.
It's not that hard to make good coffee. Yeah, And
I don't understand why every set in Hollywood has bad coffee.
I'm guessing it's a budget thing that that's where they
(36:07):
skimp out, like they have to buy so many beans
because they're making pots and pots of coffee ia right,
Like how many pots of coffee do you? I mean,
everybody's drinking coffee all day long on a set, so
probably they have to get like fucking ten pound bags
of coffee beans. But still I feel like, with a
little more effort, you could source some better beans, yes, please,
(36:32):
for an affordable price.
Speaker 1 (36:36):
Skimp on the the weird like nobody.
Speaker 3 (36:39):
Maybe it's vegetable tray, yes, or maybe it's skimp on
that making it into too, because sometimes it's like those
big ones and I don't know that they're capable of
making good coffee.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
But it's just really annoying to me. But I'm not
like deep in the cult where like I'm not, oh God,
what's the coffee that Dan Gore used to always make
with like the what's it called with the it's like
the glass thing and the pour over the poor not
Is it called a pour over? Yeah? Yeah, yeah. It's
like the kraph the thing and then the hot water
(37:11):
and then you weigh. Water takes forever to come down,
and it's like slower than a French pet press. Yeah.
I'm not that intense about it, but I do. I
do have a coffee maker that freshly grinds beans, because
I do feel like that makes a huge difference. Ah,
I know what cult you're part of. Tell me the
(37:33):
fun one the Disney call.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
The Disney adults, specifically the Disney and Disney adults. We
oftentimes didn't have the ability to go to Disney when
we were children. Some of us have memories of going
there for the first time we were teenagers. Me, I'm
raising my hands, and now I have expendable income and
got damn it.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
I'm going to spend it where.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
I want, against bend where I want.
Speaker 2 (37:59):
Okay, then I go to the parks. I'm gonna buy
shit for myself. I'm gonna eat all the snacks. I'm
gonna look things up before I go.
Speaker 1 (38:06):
My sister and I when we last went, it was
right at the beginning of the Halloween stuff at Disney,
and my sister and I she found on Canva someone
had put together a like a guide of all of
the Disney snacks, all of the.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Oh yeah, you sent it to me when we went
in August, the map, the map of Disneyland with all
of it. I think I got like one thing. I
was like, this is I was too like trying to
just get us on rides. Like I was like, it's
a lot of work to try to get these snacks
on top of all this other stuff. We were there.
I like, Disney is does it?
Speaker 1 (38:43):
Now?
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Why? Oh the I'm like, listen to me, look at me.
I know you did. Why Why do you hate it?
Why do tell me why you hate it? Wow? I
think it was a better system before. I hate the
Like when you have the what's the fast past, the magic?
What's it called the Genie? Yeah, it's you have to
(39:05):
be you literally have to be on your phone all
day long to make sure that you're getting on those cues,
that you're getting on those if you want to like
maximize the day and get on as many rise as
you can, it means that you are on your phone
the whole day. Like when we went and when I
went with Enzo last year, I was so happy that
his friend's mom came with me. Yeah, I invited her
(39:26):
and she's my friend and we were like, this will
be great. And then I realized, oh, it's good, there's
going to be another adult because I'm probably going to
be looking at my phone a lot. And then I
was looking at my phone so much more than I thought.
But it just kind of like is a bummer. And
I feel like the way it was before, where you
could just like show up and like scan your phone,
it was a simple. It was a better system before.
(39:46):
I don't remember exactly what it was, but it was
like I think you like showed up and like scanned
your phone and then maybe got a time or something
and you could like or maybe reserve multiple rides. I
don't know. But now it's like and then you can't
like reserve the a ride and till you've done that ride,
and then you're like, you know, so you're like constantly
rearranging your day around these fucking ride times. But of
(40:09):
course it's worth it because you're also like not really
waiting online and you can go on more lines. So
like it's just a lot.
Speaker 1 (40:16):
There, it is there, it is you have to prioritize
what you and your family want out of the day.
If your priority is writing as many rides as possible,
you will be on your phone. Yes, if your priority
is writing quite a few rides and then making sure
that you like maybe your next experience there will be
(40:38):
like I don't want to be on my phone as much.
You just stick in your pocket and like you're going
to do some eating and you're going to do some
shopping and you're gonna do some people watching, you know
what I mean? Like it it is I think this
This is as a cult member, I will say that
I do think it is. It is about like pioryizing
(41:00):
like what your family wants and and the give and
take of Like if we want to ride as many
rides as possible, some adult is going to be on
their phone and that part will suck. But if we
want to experience more of the park and the togetherness,
then you know, then Disney gets a little bit more
of your cash out of your pocket because they get
(41:23):
you eating, baby. But also like there are like other
things to experience at Disney, like the shows and there's
like right, I mean, have you ever gone on like
that big riverboat and like gone around you guys haven't
done that.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
I bet no. Yeah, we did do that, so sweet.
We haven't done that in a long time, but we
And there's like that one a little island you can
go on and like, oh yeah, we actually my kids
love that little island. The little island is so cute
and that's a great yeah if you're waiting, if you're
waiting for a ride time. The playground.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
Both of the playgrounds, the one in Mickey'stontown and also
the Redwood Forest one are just like made for mmmm.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
Oh, I don't think we've done the playgrounds.
Speaker 1 (42:07):
You gotta get a coffee and then take them to
the playground and you can just fucking sit with your
coffee and they go buck wild.
Speaker 2 (42:13):
It's so fun.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
That part is great. As a cult member, I have
like lots of tips. Should we do an episode on Disney?
Speaker 2 (42:19):
Okay, we literally could do an episode on Disney. I
will say going to Disney with Stephanie Beatrice is the
most fun because it reminded me of when I used
to go to Disney World as a kid and my
Florida cousins would like know all the hacks and like
god to contracts and like, yeah, one time my aunt
was pregnant, and she was like, we're gonna get all
(42:40):
all these rides super fast. She was like, watch this,
watch this more better.
Speaker 1 (42:51):
So in conclusion, I feel like, if you're in a
joyful cultuh that's okay.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
If one that allows you to have multi groups of friends, Yeah,
and not restrict.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
I mean, I've got people in my life that don't
give a shit about Disney, and uh.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
That's okay. Disney's okay with that. Yeah, Disney's okay with that.
I'm okay with that.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
I feel like, you know, if you're in a real
cult and and like just to say, like, I know
we're joking about this and having fun about it, but
like there are resources available if you if you are
feeling like you're listening to this and you're like, oh no,
I think maybe there's something wrong with like an organization
that I'm a part of, a group that I'm a
(43:35):
part of.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
There. Actually, before we go, yeah, we should we I
we should read these protection tips from Yeah yeah, please
do please do so. The first one, maintain relationships outside
any single group. That's like a big one. Right, we
all have like should have different groups of friends, even
if some are casual, you know, but you should and
that should be okay not Yeah. You don't want to
(43:56):
have one group of friends that's not weird weird. Be
weary of groups that demand immediate commitment or secrecy. Yes,
question why a group needs your money right now. Healthy
communities let you leave without consequences. Yes, ding ding ding ding.
If you can't criticize the leader, that's a red flag.
(44:18):
I think that's like the biggest One's huge, And then
this is a good one. Sleep on major decisions. Cults
pressure you to decide right now. Yeah, that's good. That's huge, huge, huge.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
And there's a website called people Leave Cults dot com
that can provide intervention, support and recovery.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
If you are feeling like maybe you don't really know how.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
To get out of the thing that you're in, maybe
you can just poke around and on that website and
see if anything speaks to you. I feel like, uh,
I know from personal experience, when the red flags are
red flagging and that little like buzzy buzzy back of
my head, pit of my stomach.
Speaker 2 (44:59):
Thing is happening.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Yeah, obviously like I Disney forever, but.
Speaker 2 (45:05):
Obviously, but coffee forever.
Speaker 1 (45:08):
Yeah, But I do you feel a little more better
about like avoiding avoiding the cult lifestyle.
Speaker 2 (45:16):
Yeah, I do. It wasn't something I was super worried about.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
Before this, but but it was fun to talk about.
Speaker 2 (45:25):
But it was fun to talk about. And also, yeah,
even if there's like one person listening to this who's like,
oh no, like we did, we did a service today,
so I'll take it.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
Yeah, watch some documentaries. There's tons out there. They're so
crazy to watch.
Speaker 2 (45:42):
And if you haven't seen Dancing for the Devil, go
check it out on Netflix or check out the podcast
Forgive Me for I Have Followed. It's hosted by one
of the ex Cult members, Kaliah Gray, and the executive
producer of the docuseries, Jessica Assevedo. They connect with ex members,
some are featured in the docs, some are not, their families,
(46:02):
journalists and cult experts.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
I love listening to this kind of stuff, so I mean, yeah,
I haven't listened to it yet, but it's now it's
on my list.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Same. I do want to watch more documentaries though, because yeah,
I think, yeah, it's fascinating.
Speaker 1 (46:17):
They're pretty fascinating and a wise man learns from another's mistakes.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
Yes, Oh, Sage Stephanie I stole it from somebody. Okay,
I love it. Okay. Uh. We'll see you guys next time.
See you next time. Bye bye, More Better.
Speaker 1 (46:36):
Do you have something you'd like to be more better
at that you want us to talk about in a
future episode?
Speaker 2 (46:40):
Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried
one of our tips and tricks?
Speaker 1 (46:44):
Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at
gmail dot com.
Speaker 2 (46:49):
And include a voice note if you want to be
featured on the pod.
Speaker 1 (46:51):
Ooh, More Better with Stephanie Melissa is a production from
WV Sound and iHeartMedia's Mikudura podcast network, hosted by me, stephan.
Speaker 2 (47:00):
Beatrice, and Melissa Fumero.
Speaker 1 (47:01):
More Better is produced by isis Madrid and Sophie Spencer Zebos.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
Our executive producers are Stephanie Beatrice, myself, Melissa Fumero, along
with Wilmar Valderrama and Leo Clem at w V Sound
and ISIS Madrid.
Speaker 1 (47:14):
This episode was edited by ISIS Madrid and engineered by
Sean Tracy and features original music by Madison Davenport and
Hello Boy.
Speaker 2 (47:21):
Our cover art is by vincent Remy's and photography by
David Abolos. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
See you next week, suck us Bye,
Hosts And Creators
Stephanie Beatriz
Melissa Fumero
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