November 19, 2021 • 35 mins
Tori and Aneesa are joined by Challenge All Star, Derek Chavez, for an interview that is equal parts fun and emotional. They discuss the journey Derek has been on since the passing of his sister, what it was like to be joined by his fellow Real World: Cancun family on this season, and a shocking secret that will have you rethink everything you know about this week's elimination. Plus, fellow Challenge All Star Ryan Kehoe drops in!
Join Tori and Aneesa every Thursday as they go behind the scenes of The Challenge: Spies Lies and Allies, and Fridays, as they pull back the curtain on The Challenge: All Stars 2, on MTV's Official Challenge Podcast.
Note: This episode includes discussions of mental health and suicide. If at any point you’re feeling overwhelmed, we encourage you to press pause and take a deep breathe, go for a walk, or visit mentalhealthishealth.us for resources. You can jump back in whenever you’re ready. If you or someone you know is struggling, call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention at afsp.org for resources.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What's up, everybody. I'm Tori and A'm Anissa, and this
is MTV's official challenge podcast where we go behind the
scenes of All Stars Too. This was a very fun
and also very emotional episode and we are so lucky
to be joined by my friend Derek Chaves to discuss
it all and just a heads up. This episode includes
(00:21):
discussions of mental health and suicide. If at any point
you're feeling overwhelmed, we encourage you to press pause and
take a deep breath, go for a walk, or visit
mental health is health dot us for resources you can
jump back in whenever you're ready. All right, guys, hope
you enjoyed this interview with Derek Chavis. Y all right, folks,
(00:49):
it is that time where we get to interview in
All Star one of my great friends, a human being
who I don't get to see enough of, with a
heart of goal and just one of the best personalities ever.
Welcome Derek Chavez to the podcast. Thanks for finally having me.
(01:10):
I can't wait and I've missed you so much and
I well, we're really happy to have you. This was
a crazy episode with a lot of ups and downs. Um,
I'm really happy that you're back on the screen. I mean,
we haven't seen you in a while. I think All
Stars is so great for having the last time. That's
I think that's the last time I've seen you. Girls. Wow,
(01:31):
it was and I threw you into elimination and I
am sorry twice twice. Where was that one filmed? Hot
Ass Thailand? Oh we never stopped sweating and we didn't
have air conditioning. And that's another story for another time.
I wait, Derek, so a Nissa, Derek, I needs to
threw you into eliminations. Oh, it's interesting story, Anissa, Tori.
(01:53):
We've already gone over this. And unless you want to
turn into who I am and started making people feel guilty,
that's fine. That's fine. I'm not putting any blame on anybody.
I don't think she had control over where that boat
was going. No, d M was a politician and she
got some stuff done. Yeah, I don't blame you for
what it did. And then after the fact, it was like,
(02:13):
all right, we're not we're not gonna piss anybody new off.
Let's just continue doing it. Yeah it was Yeah. I
didn't even I was just social. I don't even know
if I knew what politics were um, but yeah, I
even throwing Rob and Rob and I became really close
after that too. Game is a game, it's all, it's all.
Did you just crack a beer? Yeah, Derek? Yeah, Well,
(02:35):
oh my god, this is the energy we need. Yeah,
let's just let's just jump right into it. Then you
are back on the challenge. Finally, it has been how long?
What was Rivals to? God? How do you feel being
back on? It's sucking great? I mean, because you know,
(02:56):
I I like to compete. I like to travel with
my friends. I like to see these destinations that I
would never see on my own. And to be able
to have that opportunity to do it again, it's just awesome.
And especially after so long when I like thought this
was out of my life. Not because I wanted it
to be out of my life. I just didn't fit themes.
I had partners that dropped out. I got dropped last minute,
(03:17):
so like I got asked for four more after Rivals Too,
it just didn't work out, which I was pissed because
I got asked for access to which it meant Marlon
or Frank would have been my partner, meaning a strong
ass team that would have been amazing to see and
it would have been fun to be a part of. Yes,
So but then I then it's like it started doing
like the whole um the trilogy and then ship like that,
(03:39):
and I was like, oh, I just don't fit the
same anymore. So my life felt you know, well, I'm
happy that you're on All Stars because your energy is
awesome and obviould say this episode was insane and very deep,
but I think we're going to get later into that
in the interview. Um, but this season you were joined
by two of your real world cast meets jazz And and
and John, who are both epic characters on the show.
(04:02):
What was it like to see them and play with them?
It was great, Like I just love so I've basically
I've done two out of my three challenges I've done
with both of them. So I got to be a
part of a team with them when we did seasons
and then we made some rivals on that one, so
we went to rivals together. So just just knowing that
I have two girls, regardless of what goes on behind
(04:23):
my back, like any time, I'm the same with them,
Like I would never ever betrayed them. And that's the
cool thing with us because that's what helped us go
as far as we did on seasons because unlike other
teams and stuff, we set up squash our beef like
right after World and then we were like families, so
like those are my sisters, you know. But it was
again and to be back in can Koon, it was
like what like my first time back. I was like
(04:45):
the first time I did Real World was in Tancoon.
Now I'm back doing All Stars in Kano. Yeah. I
love that. I love that you had that kind of
support system. I don't know what I do if my
original cast was on a challenge with me. I mean
they do feel like this family. But I think you
guys kept in touch way more. Oh yeah, and a
majority of us, like as a whole, kept in touch,
(05:07):
not just like one here, one there, you know. I
mean people. I think me and Emily and I are
the only ones that don't have kids are married. Um,
but like that, like that happens to people and they
grow up and they get away from this. So it's
still good to keep in touch with those people though. Yeah,
a weird little family will always have But yeah, the
(05:27):
challenge birth control, I mean, I guess somebody I want
to know how is it to party with all these
old heads again, like you are twelve, but we know
how to party though we like started those parties, you know,
I don't feel like they do that anymore. Like literally
you go into this thing, it's like what what party
(05:49):
are we having? And then depending on one month, it
is like what are we going in October? We're gonna
be there for Halloween. You gotta bring a Halloween costume
that she better be packing her wigs, Like you know,
it's just seeing that party. So we knew we were
going to be doing prom. I know you guys saw
the shots of me. I'll just draw out with my
wig on the side. Her name was Cleo by the way.
She made it to the parking lot of the prom
(06:10):
and then got done and then found a new problem
dame to take her to the prom. But like like
you said, going into the like just forgetting about everything
that literally happened fifteen minutes after I got voted in.
So it's like you just you just forget everything that
go that's going on. This could be your last night here.
You want to just like don't think about it. And
(06:30):
you then go down and then you have our bartender
Ryan just feeding the shots of Buck. I think we
took like four shots of Buck in like ten minutes.
You know what I you know what I feel like
watching you even explain this, And obviously from like a
viewer's perspective, you don't really get to understand how quick
the paces of filming, Like you're saying, you go from
this nomination and then you immediately go to this party,
(06:50):
and like while you're there, you're just living in the
moment because this is the first time you're back seeing
all these people. You're enjoying the time you're in Cancoon
with your friends who you haven't seen since Real World
or what ever season you were on with them last.
On the regular Challenge is not that energy when we
go to a club, we are feeling we're all in
our political bag. We're all trying to figure out what's
going on. Like for you watching it as an old
(07:11):
school player being back in the game and then also
seeing like how the new school challenges. Do you feel
like it would be a ridiculous merge if both of
our squads were on the same show filming, Like what
do you feel like that would be? Like, I feel
like it's gonna be one of those, it's gonna be
like a little high school click saying like, oh those
are those bitches, at those look at those new as
(07:34):
bitches like coming into our high school, transferring from the
like the ghetto school over there. Now. No, um, I
want to know this. Early in the episode, Nee and
Maya wants to go against either Ryan or you. What
do you think he was thinking? Do you think he
was bullshitting? So honestly, what I think he was thinking?
(07:57):
Like all of these guys think, and I'm talking about
the old school challenge, the New School challenge, they think
it all the time. They think the gay guy is disposable.
It was seen on your guys Spieslies and Allies, Corey
winning even though that was stupid. It was a big
gas guy. Yeah whatever, Like but you guys had your
better in alliance. That's fine, Like it works in your
(08:17):
favor for some reason. But just like every other guy
I Ryan can attested this to, I just feel like
they think we're disposable and like, oh, that's the easy
way out. But I'm like, in reality, it just makes
you kind of look weak because Okay, yeah, you're smart
and you're taking somebody out there. You know, you can beat,
but you're also not really proving anything. Like, Okay, you
took out a guy that's smaller than you, cool like
(08:38):
and just like, well, give me Bryan first and then
give me the second. Wait, Ryan, introduce yourself. Sorry. Sorry,
I'm so sorry. I'm Ryan key Hooe, who's also an
all star on to my girls, my bunk made. He
came down to the here. I love that. It's amazing
that we have you talking from the from the couch.
(09:00):
I want I need both of you to come up
in front and center because I can only hear half
what you're saying, right, but I want to hear what
you gotta say. Corey. I'm so sorry, and I can't
wait to meet you one day. I I totally agree
that they do think for some reason, gay men are disposable.
I mean, Corey was huge. I mean just people in
the community period. It doesn't really happen for the women
as much, but definitely for the men, which I don't.
(09:24):
I don't really understand what you're sex to do with
your ability. So then then you go back, So okay,
so I get eliminated, right, So now all I'm gonna
hear is like, why were you casting, you got eliminated first,
like we thought you're going to So I like it
sucks because yeah, I was, but I didn't even get
to prove what I got to do the time that
I won our first challenge in seasons. I made it
(09:45):
to the very end because I'm capable of doing this ship,
and if I get the opportunity to do it, I'm
very good at it. Like I came in third in
this like we actually thought we were winning at one point,
like we still you were like in Lifetime thought that
Derek was like the winner honestly, like him and Melinda
can't to ask me. They were like, oh, they're the
ones that that that won this ship, like they won
(10:08):
this ship. And so when me and Ma had this like, oh,
we're gonna we're gonna vote in whoever like performed poorly,
well guess what this one did not perform poorly. Became
a third literally like by like two seconds. Yeah, that
was his whole thing too, Like he wanted to vote
in people that did bad, and he like I couldn't
(10:30):
even get partners names right because he was like, well
you did bad with like Jasmine, I'm like a wrong
gay That was Ryan. He was with Jasmine like we
don't look alike, Like it's like one of those things.
But I was like, I was like, I beat you,
and I beat I beat Brad, I beat Drill, I
beat I beat everybody except Derek and Steve, like I
(10:50):
don't get out. So yeah, I think people have their
own ideas about it, and they're just kind of sugarcoated
or covered up by saying something else to safe face,
which is I go against guys that they think are weaker,
and that is the fucking truth. I thought you had
him on that puzzle. I was like, oh, ship, no, girl,
I gotta think so and and okay, so I'm gonna
(11:11):
be one hundred of you and I'm not taking away
Neama's win at all. He beat me. But as much
as I said that I was wanting to be there,
I was not in a headspace to be there. And
I had just talked to my brother right before that elimination.
He's like, Mom's coming because they were going to have
a service for her here in Arizona, and I'm like,
I need to be there. So I was like, I
need to I need to go. I'm not gonna I'm
(11:31):
not a quitter. I'm not going to let just be
like I have to go, you know, No. I wanted
to still do that because if there was a chance
that I could beat him, I was like, yeah, let's
let's take it. I figured that puzzle out, the first
one so fast, and I said, Okay, you gotta you
gotta think about what you actually want to do. Do Do
you want to stay here? Do you want to do this?
I'm like, no, I don't. So I literally gave like
(11:52):
four wrong answers and I was waiting for me, am
I to like go, so he was going. He was
going though, and I saw him like all right, So
then I like did the right number and I was going.
He did his first two. I'm like, okay, bitch, like
you let him go a little too far, like we
can we gotta can't let him like take your ass.
So I go and I catch up and the fucking
third puzzle. I do that ship all the time. It's
(12:12):
one of those things like guess the sign this sign
equals this? The signing was this? What is both the
signs equal? I do that ship all the time. I
figured that puzzle out so fast, too, and I saw
that he was going and like, say, the wrong number
so I said the wrong number and they're like, yeah,
oh my god. So you basically would have won. You
threw the challenge. You threw it. Yeah, listen, like, come on,
(12:34):
your what you just went through, what you experienced, there
were there were bigger things going on. Yeah, I just
want to get this out because I want other people
to know. I lost gracefully. It was very close, but honestly,
he would not have won that challenge had I been
in a different mother Listen, neck and neck literally like
seconds away from like not trying, but like you know,
(12:57):
it's just crazy not you're not giving a hundred and
being that close. I mean, you, your best would have
probably beat most people. I know you're smart. That's why
I was looking and I'm like, baby, no, you know trying.
I knew it when I watched. I'm like, um, this
is not um no, I know. So that first that
(13:18):
first puzzle was how many fours were in this? And
it was like iPhone and it like had the number
like you've seen those puzzles. I like, I said the
wrong numbers a couple of times. Then I even started
doing stupid like it's because it's like how many fours
are here? I'm like, well, that's four letters, Like so
that's a four Like I was literally just like writing
it down. The guy literally looking at me like what
the funk are you doing? And I was like, oh,
(13:39):
I don't do that. Like wow, so she's still an
actress over there, he is, she sure, but but no,
but the feelings that you saw, I'm very I show
everything regardless of what I do, and I like put
myself out there. That's what we did this show so
people can learn about us, like we lived our lives
(14:02):
on TV and stuff. This was one of those moments
that I was gonna be open and honest with everybody
because the bigger picture is people need to know that
this is a big deal and having a platform to
tell people like if you feel the way that my
sister felt, like, please just talk to somebody, like if
it's just a neigh or if it's a stranger, if
(14:23):
it's somebody at the store, like just tell them, like
I'm hurting, like because I didn't get that opportunity. I
literally saw my sister. We left on Wednesday. I saw
my sister on Monday and she was supposed to come
over and have we bottle bottle of champagne she was
supposed to were supposed toast before I left, and she
was like, I can't wait to see you Wednesday, Sissy, Like, oh,
hold on, ah, I'm sorry, Derek. She didn't let me
(14:49):
know that anything was going on with her, and she
made it seem as if everything was okay and she
I'm very happy though, because I got to give her
a hug and say goodbye. It wasn't the good vibe
that I was expecting, but I got to say goodbye,
and that's she is, that she's always with you. And
(15:10):
I mean that opening up like that, I can only
imagine how many people are going to be able to
now relining themselves to people that they think are in
pain and that could be going through something. I mean,
I can't even imagine your pain. And I'm sure there
are people out there that you're going to influence their
life and help them so much. So it's so brave
of you to share all of this, and for the
(15:30):
people that are left behind, you know, like you and
your family, like there are other families that are struggling
like that. So for you to go on this show
and fight through it as the most insane thing, and
it shows how strong you are as a person, and
I not talked to my brother and things things happened
for a reason, if I'm a very big believer of that.
(15:51):
I wasn't even supposed to talk to my brother before
that elimination because stuff had happened, and stuff got pushed back,
like our elimination was supposed to be one day, just
you know, like you know what happens, like she gets
pushed back. So I wasn't supposed to talk to him
that day, and I was able to. So it happens
for a reason. But had I not talked to him,
I know my family was going to be in town
that weekend. Me and I wouldn't have one mm. Well,
(16:16):
I mean, this is admirable, And you know I love you.
I'm always the biggest supporter of you. I didn't even
know what had happened. You and I hadn't talked about it,
But I mean, I just I can't imagine, and you are.
I didn't let anybody know. I didn't let Jasmine and
John nay no. I didn't want to go into this
situation with this on my already up front, because I
(16:37):
didn't want to have people being like, oh, he just
wants a pity. But because if you didn't, even if
you don't think that, I don't know, there's just people
out there like that, like he's doing pity, he's doing
it for this like why. Like I didn't want anybodybody
to know about it, so it didn't influence anything. I
waited till we did our pictures. I waited till we
did the first elimination. I waited till we moved into
the house. I woud wait until everything No one knew
(16:59):
until after the aberration. Yeah yeah, which at this point
in time, you were already going in. So it's like, hey,
this is like my story now I'm gonna just see.
And that's what I wanted people to know. Like I
wanted it to be out there. I just didn't want
it to be before. And I knew I had to
tell Johnny and Jasmine because as soon as I got
there and he said I felt like we got into
the bus to go to the house or to go
(17:20):
to the when we just got picked U from the airport,
I saw Johnny and I started crying, like what's going on.
I go, there's something that I have to tell you.
I just can't tell you now, but just know that
I was like, just know that, I'm I'm I'm not
me right now, and I I'm glad that I get
to see you. I'm just we gotta wait a little bit.
(17:40):
I was really happy you had that support system and
the fact that you still showed up to the prom.
I mean, in all your fashion it's fashion, honey, look
it up. But that you still can perform, you still
have this amazing personality, and then you still I could
(18:01):
have crushed that elimination. And I'm always going to remind
you of that from now on. You can. I think
about it every day. Did I make the right decision? Listen,
you did? You did? We have to do because you
know what you don't get You don't always get a
chance to say goodbye, and you you know, if you
do have the opportunity and to be there for your family,
that's that's not something that's every day that you know.
(18:22):
So you did what you had to do. We don't regret.
We just move forward and and I love you. I
mean this this show, especially All Stars, has the ability
to really pull on heartstrings. And I think that it's
because of the cast, because you guys have been doing
(18:43):
this for so long that you have this understanding of oh,
I am willing to show this side of me truly
and deeply. So you you showed us at this episode,
and Ianna also showed us at this episode, like with
with what she did in that in the elimination. I
thought that was so powerful. I mean I cried both.
I was trying. I'm not crying a litre episode. All
(19:04):
the women sobbing there, I'm like, what are we just
where we're watching lam is like what happens everything? Every
person crying. But it was like I was a little
and I was watching it. I'm like, because then you
see me, am I helping to him? Like should I help?
I was like no, I was like no, they got it.
I'm I'm wallowing in my sadness right now too, like
(19:25):
I'm not helping, Like yeah, yeah, But it was an
amazing moment, and I think that it was great to
see in person too, like it it was very empowering
and I appreciate seeing it. It's just like I was
just in a funked up headspace, like right of course, yeah,
I mean, And that's the things there's so many different
(19:46):
you have so many different people on the show with
everybody has their own story. I mean, you've made me
a fan of you for life, not because of anything
that you've gone through, but because of how you carry
yourself through it. It's just really inspiring to watch and
think a lot of people can get a lot out
of that. And same with everybody who really comes on
the show, who opens up themselves and is that vulnerable. Um,
(20:07):
do you feel like the Challenge family is a family
in a sense to you, like john A being there
for you during that time and Jazmine being there for
you that time. Do you feel like you were with
your family while that was happening in a sense, like
like Ryan, Me and Ryan reconnecting and we were connected
before obviously, you know, everybody calls each other like girl, Yeah, yeah,
(20:31):
we're just reconnecting with Ryan and knowing that he was
gonna be there. I met Ryan and I sit with
him and when he lived with Paula in and we
became friends there and we've talked throughout the years. But literally,
it's like one of those things, even with the Nie,
that's one of those things like we're always going to
be friends. In the moment that we reconnect, it's like
nothing ever happened, Like we just started from day one,
you know, but this one being older with Ryan and stuff,
(20:53):
it's it's like, oh my god, that's like that's like
a soulmate. That's not sexual. It's a very we're brothers
and that all it is, and that's all it will
ever be. That's my tor and I that's gonna think. Yeah,
so I do. I do think that. Like going back
into it, it's like family, and I made like closer friends,
Like I love I fucking love Leo like she is hilarious.
(21:18):
And I didn't know that I was gonna love Tina
as much as I did. I was kind of intimidated
by her just because bit Tina like that, like you know,
like I was just like, oh, I don't know if
I'm gonna like this bitch, like it's gonna be crazy.
But no, like but you dressed up as her and
then you felt like you could find oh and I'm
real pissed that they didn't tell because like I went
(21:38):
into the room with the boys and I go, who
were it better? And they're like, oh, you didn't, Like
I knew it, and then I was like I literally
talked about how much better I looked in her dress
with her satus flower than she did so, but no,
so she was so good. She was actually so little
tidbit from behind the scenes. I actually told her about
(21:59):
what was going on with me before I told everybody else.
And she she goes, why why did you do that?
I go, I don't know. I just felt like some
connection to you, and she goes, my sister passed away,
not by the same reason, but she her sister passed
away like a couple of years prior, and she's like,
maybe that's what it was. It's just something like, you know,
and I just and I think I was also just
(22:20):
practicing to see how someone reacts, because obviously we're getting filmed,
and I'm just like, okay, I'm like I'm already an
ugly crier when I'm doing it or whatever. But I'm
just like, welcome to the ugly cry club. Because I
don't know if we were awful too. Yeah, it was
the best thing too. So after I told so when
it showed you by the way, I don't know if
you guys noticed, because I noticed when I'm talking to
(22:42):
Johnny on that chair in the corner, telling her my
panties are showing under my dress, just panties, and I
was like, oh, cute girl, like you're having this moment,
You're sucking granny pants are showing hanging out. No, I
actually wore panties. I was. I wasn't how you were
a lady that evening. But and this is why I
(23:03):
like so much more. Production was very nice and they said, listen,
you need to have your moment. Go cry on the
beach with Johnny and Jazz. And we literally went out
there and cried for like two out parts and just
didn't have anything to do with the show. Was just
me with my girls, when we were able to just
open up and just be there for each other. And
I think for people to know that production, you know
there they're people too. I mean I went N eleven
(23:25):
with them. I mean there has to be a point
where all these humans there's are reacting to the same
situation and it kind of tears down that wall of like, hey,
we already got what we needed to get in that moment.
Now I'm going to let you be because there's other
stories to tell and yeah, and also let you grieve
in peace, like not be assholes. So I think it's
(23:46):
important that people know that and I need I need it,
Like it was we had been there maybe like eleven
twelve days already at that point, so I literally wasn't
able to talk to anybody about anything for twelve days.
Like it's just bottled up. So it's just like kind
of bitch, just release, you know, like it's just fuck
literally if you were stranded anywhere else with nowhere to
(24:07):
go except for our house. I mean, shaan A is
my little sister, you know that, And I feel like
she is such a good soul. I'm glad that they
showed the montage of like her talking about how close
we are, because I would do anything for that girl.
Like we we did this thing together, and we knew
each other before, and like she did she lived with
(24:28):
me on my couch and all I like was like, girl,
like we're family, Like you can come live with me
if you need to, like get your ship together, get
on your feet, stay as long as you need to.
I'm not turning for anything if you want to throw
some money for bills whatever, but like your family, Like
I would do this for any of my close friends
or family, And that's what you are. Now. It's just
like never changed. Are you saying that you want her
(24:48):
to win this whole thing lucky. Yeah, Like if you
saw me at the very end of the episode when
I was leaving, I I yelled it out to I said,
fuck me, am I and I said, and when this
ship girl, Like I said, when when this ship? One
of my girl needs to win it. But I love
that we we had this like little pre alliance. It
was a fresh meeting Cancun and we deemed the name
can Meet canned meat can. Yeah, so it was it was.
(25:13):
It was good my prior relationship. We're not prior, but
like my relationships that I made with people prior to
the show, to go into it. I even if it
wasn't like a strong one and it didn't save me,
it's it was a good one. And I know that
whatever happens, my girls are gonna be good. You know,
we've always got our canned meat can hand e. D
(25:35):
just can meet can canned meats like oh tuna fish
hand meat is like any random meet in the can.
Before we asked this last question, I just want to know, Derek,
if you get the opportunity to go on another All Stars,
(25:55):
number one, will you do it? And number two are
you coming back with any bad blood for anybody? Um? Yes,
I will do it. Um, this is like this just
let a fire under my ass and hopefully nothing like
this is happens to me in the future to where
it's gonna like stop me from performing what I needed
to be. But I'm going to go into it and
(26:17):
I am going to not necessarily have bad blood, but
I am I'm coming for blood. I guess that that
means something like I'm gonna fucking just do whatever it
takes to make sure my ass isn't going home first,
Like I mean, can I be a part of your
can meet Ania, can beat Niece, Nisy meat Missy, can
(26:39):
meet can meet Nissa Canisa? But that sounds foreign girl,
that sounds luxurious type of caveat. Yeah, we'll think about it.
(27:02):
We have time to think about it. Yeah, Okay. So
we have a final question that we ask everybody. Derek,
okay and he so you take it away. I do
the final question on the other one. You do the
final question on this all right, This is our final
question for you, Derek, even though I don't want you
to leave ever. So you're competing on All Stars, which
is all about the greatest players of all time. So
(27:24):
I want to hear your greatest of all time for
greatest competitor, greatest season, and the greatest challenge that I
was a part of, or justin Jack, I think in
general of like who you think the best competitor is?
Who you think what do you think that was the
best season of the challenge, and like what challenge specifically
you've seen or participated in that you think is the best. Um,
(27:45):
I think the greatest Challenge competitor would have. It's like
a toss up between a few people, But like, I
think Lannon is up there. I think Darrell because Durrell's
sucking one four in a row, the only person to
fucking win four in a row. That's fucking's insane, legendary. Yeah. Um,
And I also think I'm not gonna give Johnny the
(28:08):
credit and I'm not gonna give cg the credit because
that's tired of It's it's very obvious that you say them,
you know, It's just it's not that I want to
give fucking fucking Brittany. Brittany she was Sharad back in
the day on Duel Too, a fucking high five, because
that fucking bitch went and did the ship like it
was Rachel who she was competing against, but she as
a rookie, she fucking did the thing. I mean all
(28:29):
three of us were in that final thank you, It's okay,
an hour up and down that mountain. Yes, canis meat
coming living room? No, But honestly, I was just thrown
the brittany thing in and throw a littlehape because the
oh so best challenge I think is um or not dual. No,
(28:54):
actually I like both duels, like I like the individual game.
I think those are so cool and I've always wanted. Yeah,
I was part of Cutthroat, which was a first like
three team challenge. I was part of a four person
team challenge that they hadn't done before, and then I
was Arrival, So I've had teams this entire time. I
would like because I think this is actually work in
my favorite I would like to just compete alone, but
(29:16):
you don't. You're paired up the whole time. You're in
the duel for the most part until like certain things
are individual. But it wasn't like an unspoken like saying
like he's like, yeah, I was with m J the
whole time, but then like when you got to the bottom,
you got to call out whoever you wanted. There's where
the individual ship came in because you just started eliminating
people like so go back to nothing so free agents,
because free agents they were by themselves. Yes, you had
(29:39):
to do like what we're doing now and it's like
a partner team, but it was by yourself. It kind
of was the same thing though. Yeah, all of those
kind of except for the team masks. I love this. Yeah,
Bryan's just given. No one's going to see this clearly
because I never look great while we're doing this now,
Like we're literally having this serious conversation of Ryan just
st candy stroke in the candies. Incredible. Oh my god, Derek, Seriously,
(30:05):
it's been a pleasure having you Ryan. It's been a
pleasure having you as well. Thank you so much for
coming on the show and opening up and being so
vulnerable and sharing your experiences because seriously, it's gonna help
so many people, So thank you. I know. That's that's
my main goal was to bring awareness to suicide and
depression and just knowing and letting people know that there
(30:26):
are people out there to talk to, there's hotlines, there's
everything you can think of, so that way, that's not
your only option, you know, so yeah, they're so strong.
I can't even imagine the strength that you have to
have to be able to have these conversations. So thank
you so much. Seriously, there was like a national well
we'll talk about it later. We can plug that, so
(30:49):
please plug the national hotline. Plug all you can to
bring awareness to it, because like last flor in September
when it was suicide Awareness Month and all that stuff,
like I was like I was trying to plug everything,
like could I'm so I mean, obviously, you don't want
to be like fucking like what's the word? Um, you
don't want to be somebody that's just knows what that
is because you don't want to have to go through that.
(31:10):
But because so I was so new to it, like
I wanted to be informed and I wanted to give information,
like I had no idea what to do, but I'm
everything that somebody is closing, like yes, please, somebody talk
about it, like let's do this, like please. So yeah, yeah,
I love you and where can we follow you and
how can we support you? I'm on Instagram. So we
(31:31):
had this whole running joke because I was MTV Derek
before Derek was Derek MTV. I try stth doing the shows.
I was like, bit, you haven't been on MTV in
like five Um, so I am just my name, uh
D Derek C. But it's with dots in between each letters.
Was D dot E R R dot E dot K
dot C. And then Twitter is the same thing, but
(31:52):
with underscoorse and I don't do I don't do TikTok.
I don't do only fans yet. Um, everybody be on
the lookout before the can meet only fans backslash cant
canned meat. You want to see my canned meat? Yes,
(32:12):
in the prom dress with the with the panties on
cann met granting pantis girl girl. Thanks for getting me
on this of course for a long time. It's good
to reconnect with Anissa Tori. We met briefly in Brooklyn.
That was fun. Yeah, to talk to you actually talked
to you. Is that when Tori was drunk? What you
met everybody? Yes, Okay, we're gonna have to try that again.
(32:37):
I'm sure definitely meet again. Please take a shot for us.
You guys are over there fucking turning it up, doing
it the right way. I gotta get on Arizona time
because I'm trying to live like that. So take your
shot for me. I'll creep in your d M s
and be like, hey, girl, that's me. I already followed you,
already looked to you much dot dot dot dot, dear
(32:58):
if you want to follow deer you know. Alright, alright, alright, girls.
(33:22):
Well that was an emotional yet fun interview with Derek UM.
I want to thank him for being so open and
transparent about UM, what was going on with his sister,
his emotions, and how he was even able to compete
on this challenge. So kudos to him. Thank you for
your bravery and your perseverance. I know it couldn't have
(33:45):
been easy for him. If any of you are struggling,
know if someone struggling, there are ways, there are people
to talk to. UM. You can reach out to the
National Suicide Prevention Hotline, which is of available to you
twenty four hours a day. The number is two seven, three,
(34:06):
eight to five five yes. And additionally, you guys can
go to a f SP dot org, which is the
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. So there are a lot
of outlets for you guys. If you need help, it
is out there, and please don't be afraid to ask yes,
because that the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention has an awesome, awesome,
(34:27):
UM website, they have phone numbers, they have stuff to
do for suicide survivors. I mean, there's so much information
out there. UM, there's help everywhere, and like Tori said,
don't be afraid to ask or reach out. UM, people
will be there for you and are there for you.
And if you're struggling emotionally or dealing with a loss,
visit mental health is health dot us for resources and support.
(34:50):
Thank you guys so much for watching. This has been
an incredible episode and it's been moving, We've been crying,
and I can't wait to see what happens the rest
of the season. Just make sure that you got guys
are watching and listen every Thursday as we go behind
the scenes of The Challenge Spy Sizes and Allies, and
then join us Fridays as we pull back the curtain
on season two of The Challenge All Stars only on
(35:12):
MTV's official Challenge Podcast.
What's up, everybody. I'm Tori and A'm Anissa, and this
is MTV's official challenge podcast where we go behind the
scenes of All Stars Too. This was a very fun
and also very emotional episode and we are so lucky
to be joined by my friend Derek Chaves to discuss
it all and just a heads up. This episode includes
(00:21):
discussions of mental health and suicide. If at any point
you're feeling overwhelmed, we encourage you to press pause and
take a deep breath, go for a walk, or visit
mental health is health dot us for resources you can
jump back in whenever you're ready. All right, guys, hope
you enjoyed this interview with Derek Chavis. Y all right, folks,
(00:49):
it is that time where we get to interview in
All Star one of my great friends, a human being
who I don't get to see enough of, with a
heart of goal and just one of the best personalities ever.
Welcome Derek Chavez to the podcast. Thanks for finally having me.
(01:10):
I can't wait and I've missed you so much and
I well, we're really happy to have you. This was
a crazy episode with a lot of ups and downs. Um,
I'm really happy that you're back on the screen. I mean,
we haven't seen you in a while. I think All
Stars is so great for having the last time. That's
I think that's the last time I've seen you. Girls. Wow,
(01:31):
it was and I threw you into elimination and I
am sorry twice twice. Where was that one filmed? Hot
Ass Thailand? Oh we never stopped sweating and we didn't
have air conditioning. And that's another story for another time.
I wait, Derek, so a Nissa, Derek, I needs to
threw you into eliminations. Oh, it's interesting story, Anissa, Tori.
(01:53):
We've already gone over this. And unless you want to
turn into who I am and started making people feel guilty,
that's fine. That's fine. I'm not putting any blame on anybody.
I don't think she had control over where that boat
was going. No, d M was a politician and she
got some stuff done. Yeah, I don't blame you for
what it did. And then after the fact, it was like,
(02:13):
all right, we're not we're not gonna piss anybody new off.
Let's just continue doing it. Yeah it was Yeah. I
didn't even I was just social. I don't even know
if I knew what politics were um, but yeah, I
even throwing Rob and Rob and I became really close
after that too. Game is a game, it's all, it's all.
Did you just crack a beer? Yeah, Derek? Yeah, Well,
(02:35):
oh my god, this is the energy we need. Yeah,
let's just let's just jump right into it. Then you
are back on the challenge. Finally, it has been how long?
What was Rivals to? God? How do you feel being
back on? It's sucking great? I mean, because you know,
(02:56):
I I like to compete. I like to travel with
my friends. I like to see these destinations that I
would never see on my own. And to be able
to have that opportunity to do it again, it's just awesome.
And especially after so long when I like thought this
was out of my life. Not because I wanted it
to be out of my life. I just didn't fit themes.
I had partners that dropped out. I got dropped last minute,
(03:17):
so like I got asked for four more after Rivals Too,
it just didn't work out, which I was pissed because
I got asked for access to which it meant Marlon
or Frank would have been my partner, meaning a strong
ass team that would have been amazing to see and
it would have been fun to be a part of. Yes,
So but then I then it's like it started doing
like the whole um the trilogy and then ship like that,
(03:39):
and I was like, oh, I just don't fit the
same anymore. So my life felt you know, well, I'm
happy that you're on All Stars because your energy is
awesome and obviould say this episode was insane and very deep,
but I think we're going to get later into that
in the interview. Um, but this season you were joined
by two of your real world cast meets jazz And and
and John, who are both epic characters on the show.
(04:02):
What was it like to see them and play with them?
It was great, Like I just love so I've basically
I've done two out of my three challenges I've done
with both of them. So I got to be a
part of a team with them when we did seasons
and then we made some rivals on that one, so
we went to rivals together. So just just knowing that
I have two girls, regardless of what goes on behind
(04:23):
my back, like any time, I'm the same with them,
Like I would never ever betrayed them. And that's the
cool thing with us because that's what helped us go
as far as we did on seasons because unlike other
teams and stuff, we set up squash our beef like
right after World and then we were like families, so
like those are my sisters, you know. But it was
again and to be back in can Koon, it was
like what like my first time back. I was like
(04:45):
the first time I did Real World was in Tancoon.
Now I'm back doing All Stars in Kano. Yeah. I
love that. I love that you had that kind of
support system. I don't know what I do if my
original cast was on a challenge with me. I mean
they do feel like this family. But I think you
guys kept in touch way more. Oh yeah, and a
majority of us, like as a whole, kept in touch,
(05:07):
not just like one here, one there, you know. I
mean people. I think me and Emily and I are
the only ones that don't have kids are married. Um,
but like that, like that happens to people and they
grow up and they get away from this. So it's
still good to keep in touch with those people though. Yeah,
a weird little family will always have But yeah, the
(05:27):
challenge birth control, I mean, I guess somebody I want
to know how is it to party with all these
old heads again, like you are twelve, but we know
how to party though we like started those parties, you know,
I don't feel like they do that anymore. Like literally
you go into this thing, it's like what what party
(05:49):
are we having? And then depending on one month, it
is like what are we going in October? We're gonna
be there for Halloween. You gotta bring a Halloween costume
that she better be packing her wigs, Like you know,
it's just seeing that party. So we knew we were
going to be doing prom. I know you guys saw
the shots of me. I'll just draw out with my
wig on the side. Her name was Cleo by the way.
She made it to the parking lot of the prom
(06:10):
and then got done and then found a new problem
dame to take her to the prom. But like like
you said, going into the like just forgetting about everything
that literally happened fifteen minutes after I got voted in.
So it's like you just you just forget everything that
go that's going on. This could be your last night here.
You want to just like don't think about it. And
(06:30):
you then go down and then you have our bartender
Ryan just feeding the shots of Buck. I think we
took like four shots of Buck in like ten minutes.
You know what I you know what I feel like
watching you even explain this, And obviously from like a
viewer's perspective, you don't really get to understand how quick
the paces of filming, Like you're saying, you go from
this nomination and then you immediately go to this party,
(06:50):
and like while you're there, you're just living in the
moment because this is the first time you're back seeing
all these people. You're enjoying the time you're in Cancoon
with your friends who you haven't seen since Real World
or what ever season you were on with them last.
On the regular Challenge is not that energy when we
go to a club, we are feeling we're all in
our political bag. We're all trying to figure out what's
going on. Like for you watching it as an old
(07:11):
school player being back in the game and then also
seeing like how the new school challenges. Do you feel
like it would be a ridiculous merge if both of
our squads were on the same show filming, Like what
do you feel like that would be? Like, I feel
like it's gonna be one of those, it's gonna be
like a little high school click saying like, oh those
are those bitches, at those look at those new as
(07:34):
bitches like coming into our high school, transferring from the
like the ghetto school over there. Now. No, um, I
want to know this. Early in the episode, Nee and
Maya wants to go against either Ryan or you. What
do you think he was thinking? Do you think he
was bullshitting? So honestly, what I think he was thinking?
(07:57):
Like all of these guys think, and I'm talking about
the old school challenge, the New School challenge, they think
it all the time. They think the gay guy is disposable.
It was seen on your guys Spieslies and Allies, Corey
winning even though that was stupid. It was a big
gas guy. Yeah whatever, Like but you guys had your
better in alliance. That's fine, Like it works in your
(08:17):
favor for some reason. But just like every other guy
I Ryan can attested this to, I just feel like
they think we're disposable and like, oh, that's the easy
way out. But I'm like, in reality, it just makes
you kind of look weak because Okay, yeah, you're smart
and you're taking somebody out there. You know, you can beat,
but you're also not really proving anything. Like, Okay, you
took out a guy that's smaller than you, cool like
(08:38):
and just like, well, give me Bryan first and then
give me the second. Wait, Ryan, introduce yourself. Sorry. Sorry,
I'm so sorry. I'm Ryan key Hooe, who's also an
all star on to my girls, my bunk made. He
came down to the here. I love that. It's amazing
that we have you talking from the from the couch.
(09:00):
I want I need both of you to come up
in front and center because I can only hear half
what you're saying, right, but I want to hear what
you gotta say. Corey. I'm so sorry, and I can't
wait to meet you one day. I I totally agree
that they do think for some reason, gay men are disposable.
I mean, Corey was huge. I mean just people in
the community period. It doesn't really happen for the women
as much, but definitely for the men, which I don't.
(09:24):
I don't really understand what you're sex to do with
your ability. So then then you go back, So okay,
so I get eliminated, right, So now all I'm gonna
hear is like, why were you casting, you got eliminated first,
like we thought you're going to So I like it
sucks because yeah, I was, but I didn't even get
to prove what I got to do the time that
I won our first challenge in seasons. I made it
(09:45):
to the very end because I'm capable of doing this ship,
and if I get the opportunity to do it, I'm
very good at it. Like I came in third in
this like we actually thought we were winning at one point,
like we still you were like in Lifetime thought that
Derek was like the winner honestly, like him and Melinda
can't to ask me. They were like, oh, they're the
ones that that that won this ship, like they won
(10:08):
this ship. And so when me and Ma had this like, oh,
we're gonna we're gonna vote in whoever like performed poorly,
well guess what this one did not perform poorly. Became
a third literally like by like two seconds. Yeah, that
was his whole thing too, Like he wanted to vote
in people that did bad, and he like I couldn't
(10:30):
even get partners names right because he was like, well
you did bad with like Jasmine, I'm like a wrong
gay That was Ryan. He was with Jasmine like we
don't look alike, Like it's like one of those things.
But I was like, I was like, I beat you,
and I beat I beat Brad, I beat Drill, I
beat I beat everybody except Derek and Steve, like I
(10:50):
don't get out. So yeah, I think people have their
own ideas about it, and they're just kind of sugarcoated
or covered up by saying something else to safe face,
which is I go against guys that they think are weaker,
and that is the fucking truth. I thought you had
him on that puzzle. I was like, oh, ship, no, girl,
I gotta think so and and okay, so I'm gonna
(11:11):
be one hundred of you and I'm not taking away
Neama's win at all. He beat me. But as much
as I said that I was wanting to be there,
I was not in a headspace to be there. And
I had just talked to my brother right before that elimination.
He's like, Mom's coming because they were going to have
a service for her here in Arizona, and I'm like,
I need to be there. So I was like, I
need to I need to go. I'm not gonna I'm
(11:31):
not a quitter. I'm not going to let just be
like I have to go, you know, No. I wanted
to still do that because if there was a chance
that I could beat him, I was like, yeah, let's
let's take it. I figured that puzzle out, the first
one so fast, and I said, Okay, you gotta you
gotta think about what you actually want to do. Do Do
you want to stay here? Do you want to do this?
I'm like, no, I don't. So I literally gave like
(11:52):
four wrong answers and I was waiting for me, am
I to like go, so he was going. He was
going though, and I saw him like all right, So
then I like did the right number and I was going.
He did his first two. I'm like, okay, bitch, like
you let him go a little too far, like we
can we gotta can't let him like take your ass.
So I go and I catch up and the fucking
third puzzle. I do that ship all the time. It's
(12:12):
one of those things like guess the sign this sign
equals this? The signing was this? What is both the
signs equal? I do that ship all the time. I
figured that puzzle out so fast, too, and I saw
that he was going and like, say, the wrong number
so I said the wrong number and they're like, yeah,
oh my god. So you basically would have won. You
threw the challenge. You threw it. Yeah, listen, like, come on,
(12:34):
your what you just went through, what you experienced, there
were there were bigger things going on. Yeah, I just
want to get this out because I want other people
to know. I lost gracefully. It was very close, but honestly,
he would not have won that challenge had I been
in a different mother Listen, neck and neck literally like
seconds away from like not trying, but like you know,
(12:57):
it's just crazy not you're not giving a hundred and
being that close. I mean, you, your best would have
probably beat most people. I know you're smart. That's why
I was looking and I'm like, baby, no, you know trying.
I knew it when I watched. I'm like, um, this
is not um no, I know. So that first that
(13:18):
first puzzle was how many fours were in this? And
it was like iPhone and it like had the number
like you've seen those puzzles. I like, I said the
wrong numbers a couple of times. Then I even started
doing stupid like it's because it's like how many fours
are here? I'm like, well, that's four letters, Like so
that's a four Like I was literally just like writing
it down. The guy literally looking at me like what
the funk are you doing? And I was like, oh,
(13:39):
I don't do that. Like wow, so she's still an
actress over there, he is, she sure, but but no,
but the feelings that you saw, I'm very I show
everything regardless of what I do, and I like put
myself out there. That's what we did this show so
people can learn about us, like we lived our lives
(14:02):
on TV and stuff. This was one of those moments
that I was gonna be open and honest with everybody
because the bigger picture is people need to know that
this is a big deal and having a platform to
tell people like if you feel the way that my
sister felt, like, please just talk to somebody, like if
it's just a neigh or if it's a stranger, if
(14:23):
it's somebody at the store, like just tell them, like
I'm hurting, like because I didn't get that opportunity. I
literally saw my sister. We left on Wednesday. I saw
my sister on Monday and she was supposed to come
over and have we bottle bottle of champagne she was
supposed to were supposed toast before I left, and she
was like, I can't wait to see you Wednesday, Sissy, Like, oh,
hold on, ah, I'm sorry, Derek. She didn't let me
(14:49):
know that anything was going on with her, and she
made it seem as if everything was okay and she
I'm very happy though, because I got to give her
a hug and say goodbye. It wasn't the good vibe
that I was expecting, but I got to say goodbye,
and that's she is, that she's always with you. And
(15:10):
I mean that opening up like that, I can only
imagine how many people are going to be able to
now relining themselves to people that they think are in
pain and that could be going through something. I mean,
I can't even imagine your pain. And I'm sure there
are people out there that you're going to influence their
life and help them so much. So it's so brave
of you to share all of this, and for the
(15:30):
people that are left behind, you know, like you and
your family, like there are other families that are struggling
like that. So for you to go on this show
and fight through it as the most insane thing, and
it shows how strong you are as a person, and
I not talked to my brother and things things happened
for a reason, if I'm a very big believer of that.
(15:51):
I wasn't even supposed to talk to my brother before
that elimination because stuff had happened, and stuff got pushed back,
like our elimination was supposed to be one day, just
you know, like you know what happens, like she gets
pushed back. So I wasn't supposed to talk to him
that day, and I was able to. So it happens
for a reason. But had I not talked to him,
I know my family was going to be in town
that weekend. Me and I wouldn't have one mm. Well,
(16:16):
I mean, this is admirable, And you know I love you.
I'm always the biggest supporter of you. I didn't even
know what had happened. You and I hadn't talked about it,
But I mean, I just I can't imagine, and you are.
I didn't let anybody know. I didn't let Jasmine and
John nay no. I didn't want to go into this
situation with this on my already up front, because I
(16:37):
didn't want to have people being like, oh, he just
wants a pity. But because if you didn't, even if
you don't think that, I don't know, there's just people
out there like that, like he's doing pity, he's doing
it for this like why. Like I didn't want anybodybody
to know about it, so it didn't influence anything. I
waited till we did our pictures. I waited till we
did the first elimination. I waited till we moved into
the house. I woud wait until everything No one knew
(16:59):
until after the aberration. Yeah yeah, which at this point
in time, you were already going in. So it's like, hey,
this is like my story now I'm gonna just see.
And that's what I wanted people to know. Like I
wanted it to be out there. I just didn't want
it to be before. And I knew I had to
tell Johnny and Jasmine because as soon as I got
there and he said I felt like we got into
the bus to go to the house or to go
(17:20):
to the when we just got picked U from the airport,
I saw Johnny and I started crying, like what's going on.
I go, there's something that I have to tell you.
I just can't tell you now, but just know that
I was like, just know that, I'm I'm I'm not
me right now, and I I'm glad that I get
to see you. I'm just we gotta wait a little bit.
(17:40):
I was really happy you had that support system and
the fact that you still showed up to the prom.
I mean, in all your fashion it's fashion, honey, look
it up. But that you still can perform, you still
have this amazing personality, and then you still I could
(18:01):
have crushed that elimination. And I'm always going to remind
you of that from now on. You can. I think
about it every day. Did I make the right decision? Listen,
you did? You did? We have to do because you
know what you don't get You don't always get a
chance to say goodbye, and you you know, if you
do have the opportunity and to be there for your family,
that's that's not something that's every day that you know.
(18:22):
So you did what you had to do. We don't regret.
We just move forward and and I love you. I
mean this this show, especially All Stars, has the ability
to really pull on heartstrings. And I think that it's
because of the cast, because you guys have been doing
(18:43):
this for so long that you have this understanding of oh,
I am willing to show this side of me truly
and deeply. So you you showed us at this episode,
and Ianna also showed us at this episode, like with
with what she did in that in the elimination. I
thought that was so powerful. I mean I cried both.
I was trying. I'm not crying a litre episode. All
(19:04):
the women sobbing there, I'm like, what are we just
where we're watching lam is like what happens everything? Every
person crying. But it was like I was a little
and I was watching it. I'm like, because then you
see me, am I helping to him? Like should I help?
I was like no, I was like no, they got it.
I'm I'm wallowing in my sadness right now too, like
(19:25):
I'm not helping, Like yeah, yeah, But it was an
amazing moment, and I think that it was great to
see in person too, like it it was very empowering
and I appreciate seeing it. It's just like I was
just in a funked up headspace, like right of course, yeah,
I mean, And that's the things there's so many different
(19:46):
you have so many different people on the show with
everybody has their own story. I mean, you've made me
a fan of you for life, not because of anything
that you've gone through, but because of how you carry
yourself through it. It's just really inspiring to watch and
think a lot of people can get a lot out
of that. And same with everybody who really comes on
the show, who opens up themselves and is that vulnerable. Um,
(20:07):
do you feel like the Challenge family is a family
in a sense to you, like john A being there
for you during that time and Jazmine being there for
you that time. Do you feel like you were with
your family while that was happening in a sense, like
like Ryan, Me and Ryan reconnecting and we were connected
before obviously, you know, everybody calls each other like girl, Yeah, yeah,
(20:31):
we're just reconnecting with Ryan and knowing that he was
gonna be there. I met Ryan and I sit with
him and when he lived with Paula in and we
became friends there and we've talked throughout the years. But literally,
it's like one of those things, even with the Nie,
that's one of those things like we're always going to
be friends. In the moment that we reconnect, it's like
nothing ever happened, Like we just started from day one,
you know, but this one being older with Ryan and stuff,
(20:53):
it's it's like, oh my god, that's like that's like
a soulmate. That's not sexual. It's a very we're brothers
and that all it is, and that's all it will
ever be. That's my tor and I that's gonna think. Yeah,
so I do. I do think that. Like going back
into it, it's like family, and I made like closer friends,
Like I love I fucking love Leo like she is hilarious.
(21:18):
And I didn't know that I was gonna love Tina
as much as I did. I was kind of intimidated
by her just because bit Tina like that, like you know,
like I was just like, oh, I don't know if
I'm gonna like this bitch, like it's gonna be crazy.
But no, like but you dressed up as her and
then you felt like you could find oh and I'm
real pissed that they didn't tell because like I went
(21:38):
into the room with the boys and I go, who
were it better? And they're like, oh, you didn't, Like
I knew it, and then I was like I literally
talked about how much better I looked in her dress
with her satus flower than she did so, but no,
so she was so good. She was actually so little
tidbit from behind the scenes. I actually told her about
(21:59):
what was going on with me before I told everybody else.
And she she goes, why why did you do that?
I go, I don't know. I just felt like some
connection to you, and she goes, my sister passed away,
not by the same reason, but she her sister passed
away like a couple of years prior, and she's like,
maybe that's what it was. It's just something like, you know,
and I just and I think I was also just
(22:20):
practicing to see how someone reacts, because obviously we're getting filmed,
and I'm just like, okay, I'm like I'm already an
ugly crier when I'm doing it or whatever. But I'm
just like, welcome to the ugly cry club. Because I
don't know if we were awful too. Yeah, it was
the best thing too. So after I told so when
it showed you by the way, I don't know if
you guys noticed, because I noticed when I'm talking to
(22:42):
Johnny on that chair in the corner, telling her my
panties are showing under my dress, just panties, and I
was like, oh, cute girl, like you're having this moment,
You're sucking granny pants are showing hanging out. No, I
actually wore panties. I was. I wasn't how you were
a lady that evening. But and this is why I
(23:03):
like so much more. Production was very nice and they said, listen,
you need to have your moment. Go cry on the
beach with Johnny and Jazz. And we literally went out
there and cried for like two out parts and just
didn't have anything to do with the show. Was just
me with my girls, when we were able to just
open up and just be there for each other. And
I think for people to know that production, you know
there they're people too. I mean I went N eleven
(23:25):
with them. I mean there has to be a point
where all these humans there's are reacting to the same
situation and it kind of tears down that wall of like, hey,
we already got what we needed to get in that moment.
Now I'm going to let you be because there's other
stories to tell and yeah, and also let you grieve
in peace, like not be assholes. So I think it's
(23:46):
important that people know that and I need I need it,
Like it was we had been there maybe like eleven
twelve days already at that point, so I literally wasn't
able to talk to anybody about anything for twelve days.
Like it's just bottled up. So it's just like kind
of bitch, just release, you know, like it's just fuck
literally if you were stranded anywhere else with nowhere to
(24:07):
go except for our house. I mean, shaan A is
my little sister, you know that, And I feel like
she is such a good soul. I'm glad that they
showed the montage of like her talking about how close
we are, because I would do anything for that girl.
Like we we did this thing together, and we knew
each other before, and like she did she lived with
(24:28):
me on my couch and all I like was like, girl,
like we're family, Like you can come live with me
if you need to, like get your ship together, get
on your feet, stay as long as you need to.
I'm not turning for anything if you want to throw
some money for bills whatever, but like your family, Like
I would do this for any of my close friends
or family, And that's what you are. Now. It's just
like never changed. Are you saying that you want her
(24:48):
to win this whole thing lucky. Yeah, Like if you
saw me at the very end of the episode when
I was leaving, I I yelled it out to I said,
fuck me, am I and I said, and when this
ship girl, Like I said, when when this ship? One
of my girl needs to win it. But I love
that we we had this like little pre alliance. It
was a fresh meeting Cancun and we deemed the name
can Meet canned meat can. Yeah, so it was it was.
(25:13):
It was good my prior relationship. We're not prior, but
like my relationships that I made with people prior to
the show, to go into it. I even if it
wasn't like a strong one and it didn't save me,
it's it was a good one. And I know that
whatever happens, my girls are gonna be good. You know,
we've always got our canned meat can hand e. D
(25:35):
just can meet can canned meats like oh tuna fish
hand meat is like any random meet in the can.
Before we asked this last question, I just want to know, Derek,
if you get the opportunity to go on another All Stars,
(25:55):
number one, will you do it? And number two are
you coming back with any bad blood for anybody? Um? Yes,
I will do it. Um, this is like this just
let a fire under my ass and hopefully nothing like
this is happens to me in the future to where
it's gonna like stop me from performing what I needed
to be. But I'm going to go into it and
(26:17):
I am going to not necessarily have bad blood, but
I am I'm coming for blood. I guess that that
means something like I'm gonna fucking just do whatever it
takes to make sure my ass isn't going home first,
Like I mean, can I be a part of your
can meet Ania, can beat Niece, Nisy meat Missy, can
(26:39):
meet can meet Nissa Canisa? But that sounds foreign girl,
that sounds luxurious type of caveat. Yeah, we'll think about it.
(27:02):
We have time to think about it. Yeah, Okay. So
we have a final question that we ask everybody. Derek,
okay and he so you take it away. I do
the final question on the other one. You do the
final question on this all right, This is our final
question for you, Derek, even though I don't want you
to leave ever. So you're competing on All Stars, which
is all about the greatest players of all time. So
(27:24):
I want to hear your greatest of all time for
greatest competitor, greatest season, and the greatest challenge that I
was a part of, or justin Jack, I think in
general of like who you think the best competitor is?
Who you think what do you think that was the
best season of the challenge, and like what challenge specifically
you've seen or participated in that you think is the best. Um,
(27:45):
I think the greatest Challenge competitor would have. It's like
a toss up between a few people, But like, I
think Lannon is up there. I think Darrell because Durrell's
sucking one four in a row, the only person to
fucking win four in a row. That's fucking's insane, legendary. Yeah. Um,
And I also think I'm not gonna give Johnny the
(28:08):
credit and I'm not gonna give cg the credit because
that's tired of It's it's very obvious that you say them,
you know, It's just it's not that I want to
give fucking fucking Brittany. Brittany she was Sharad back in
the day on Duel Too, a fucking high five, because
that fucking bitch went and did the ship like it
was Rachel who she was competing against, but she as
a rookie, she fucking did the thing. I mean all
(28:29):
three of us were in that final thank you, It's okay,
an hour up and down that mountain. Yes, canis meat
coming living room? No, But honestly, I was just thrown
the brittany thing in and throw a littlehape because the
oh so best challenge I think is um or not dual. No,
(28:54):
actually I like both duels, like I like the individual game.
I think those are so cool and I've always wanted. Yeah,
I was part of Cutthroat, which was a first like
three team challenge. I was part of a four person
team challenge that they hadn't done before, and then I
was Arrival, So I've had teams this entire time. I
would like because I think this is actually work in
my favorite I would like to just compete alone, but
(29:16):
you don't. You're paired up the whole time. You're in
the duel for the most part until like certain things
are individual. But it wasn't like an unspoken like saying
like he's like, yeah, I was with m J the
whole time, but then like when you got to the bottom,
you got to call out whoever you wanted. There's where
the individual ship came in because you just started eliminating
people like so go back to nothing so free agents,
because free agents they were by themselves. Yes, you had
(29:39):
to do like what we're doing now and it's like
a partner team, but it was by yourself. It kind
of was the same thing though. Yeah, all of those
kind of except for the team masks. I love this. Yeah,
Bryan's just given. No one's going to see this clearly
because I never look great while we're doing this now,
Like we're literally having this serious conversation of Ryan just
st candy stroke in the candies. Incredible. Oh my god, Derek, Seriously,
(30:05):
it's been a pleasure having you Ryan. It's been a
pleasure having you as well. Thank you so much for
coming on the show and opening up and being so
vulnerable and sharing your experiences because seriously, it's gonna help
so many people, So thank you. I know. That's that's
my main goal was to bring awareness to suicide and
depression and just knowing and letting people know that there
(30:26):
are people out there to talk to, there's hotlines, there's
everything you can think of, so that way, that's not
your only option, you know, so yeah, they're so strong.
I can't even imagine the strength that you have to
have to be able to have these conversations. So thank
you so much. Seriously, there was like a national well
we'll talk about it later. We can plug that, so
(30:49):
please plug the national hotline. Plug all you can to
bring awareness to it, because like last flor in September
when it was suicide Awareness Month and all that stuff,
like I was like I was trying to plug everything,
like could I'm so I mean, obviously, you don't want
to be like fucking like what's the word? Um, you
don't want to be somebody that's just knows what that
is because you don't want to have to go through that.
(31:10):
But because so I was so new to it, like
I wanted to be informed and I wanted to give information,
like I had no idea what to do, but I'm
everything that somebody is closing, like yes, please, somebody talk
about it, like let's do this, like please. So yeah, yeah,
I love you and where can we follow you and
how can we support you? I'm on Instagram. So we
(31:31):
had this whole running joke because I was MTV Derek
before Derek was Derek MTV. I try stth doing the shows.
I was like, bit, you haven't been on MTV in
like five Um, so I am just my name, uh
D Derek C. But it's with dots in between each letters.
Was D dot E R R dot E dot K
dot C. And then Twitter is the same thing, but
(31:52):
with underscoorse and I don't do I don't do TikTok.
I don't do only fans yet. Um, everybody be on
the lookout before the can meet only fans backslash cant
canned meat. You want to see my canned meat? Yes,
(32:12):
in the prom dress with the with the panties on
cann met granting pantis girl girl. Thanks for getting me
on this of course for a long time. It's good
to reconnect with Anissa Tori. We met briefly in Brooklyn.
That was fun. Yeah, to talk to you actually talked
to you. Is that when Tori was drunk? What you
met everybody? Yes, Okay, we're gonna have to try that again.
(32:37):
I'm sure definitely meet again. Please take a shot for us.
You guys are over there fucking turning it up, doing
it the right way. I gotta get on Arizona time
because I'm trying to live like that. So take your
shot for me. I'll creep in your d M s
and be like, hey, girl, that's me. I already followed you,
already looked to you much dot dot dot dot, dear
(32:58):
if you want to follow deer you know. Alright, alright, alright, girls.
(33:22):
Well that was an emotional yet fun interview with Derek UM.
I want to thank him for being so open and
transparent about UM, what was going on with his sister,
his emotions, and how he was even able to compete
on this challenge. So kudos to him. Thank you for
your bravery and your perseverance. I know it couldn't have
(33:45):
been easy for him. If any of you are struggling,
know if someone struggling, there are ways, there are people
to talk to. UM. You can reach out to the
National Suicide Prevention Hotline, which is of available to you
twenty four hours a day. The number is two seven, three,
(34:06):
eight to five five yes. And additionally, you guys can
go to a f SP dot org, which is the
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. So there are a lot
of outlets for you guys. If you need help, it
is out there, and please don't be afraid to ask yes,
because that the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention has an awesome, awesome,
(34:27):
UM website, they have phone numbers, they have stuff to
do for suicide survivors. I mean, there's so much information
out there. UM, there's help everywhere, and like Tori said,
don't be afraid to ask or reach out. UM, people
will be there for you and are there for you.
And if you're struggling emotionally or dealing with a loss,
visit mental health is health dot us for resources and support.
(34:50):
Thank you guys so much for watching. This has been
an incredible episode and it's been moving, We've been crying,
and I can't wait to see what happens the rest
of the season. Just make sure that you got guys
are watching and listen every Thursday as we go behind
the scenes of The Challenge Spy Sizes and Allies, and
then join us Fridays as we pull back the curtain
on season two of The Challenge All Stars only on
(35:12):
MTV's official Challenge Podcast.
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