November 17, 2023 • 8 mins
www.MYFUNERALHOMESTORIES.COM
This the preview for the exlcusive premium only episode of My Funeral Home Stories. It's nearly 50 pages and 45 minutes long....It's $4 and all the money goes directly back into the podcast!
Please tap this link the link above or below to purchase.
Title: The Man Who Killed Himself Twice
In this chapter, Grant is confronted by the brutal suicide death of a family friend. Some people REALLY want to do... Also in this chapter, Grant considers what makes a death "ideal" vs "less than ideal" and has a major clash with his post-modern lit teacher.
www.MYFUNERALHOMESTORIES.COM
This the preview for the exlcusive premium only episode of My Funeral Home Stories. It's nearly 50 pages and 45 minutes long....It's $4 and all the money goes directly back into the podcast!
Please tap this link the link above or below to purchase.
Title: The Man Who Killed Himself Twice
In this chapter, Grant is confronted by the brutal suicide death of a family friend. Some people REALLY want to do... Also in this chapter, Grant considers what makes a death "ideal" vs "less than ideal" and has a major clash with his post-modern lit teacher.
www.MYFUNERALHOMESTORIES.COM
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Hello everyone. I hope you're well. ASK promise there's a new premium episode
of My Funeral Home Stories available todayat my Funeral home stories dot com or
by clicking the link in the descriptionof this episode. It's called The Man
Who Killed Himself Twice. It's fortyfive minutes, and it tackles everything from
ideal versus less than ideal deaths,procrastination, and most importantly, a very
(00:26):
brutal and upsetting suicide of a familyfriend. I don't want to spoil the
episode with an extended previews, soI'll just give you a few minutes from
the middle and a little bit beforethat. Please consider going to my Funeral
Home Stories dot com or tapping thelink in the description to buy this episode.
I wrote nearly fifty pages on thisone, and I'm very very happy
(00:47):
with it. It's a four dollarsone time fee and it's all done through
supercasts, so it's nice and easy. I literally just tested it out and
it couldn't be simpler. Just goto my Funerhomestories dot com, tap the
new episodes artwork, and it willtake you right where you need to go
and give you a few simple stepsto add the episode to your podcast app
of choice anyway, without further ado, here's the preview. There's a knock
(01:12):
on my bedroom door, startling Carterawake, come in. The door swings
open, the knob hits the stopperon the wall next to the doorframe.
It's my dad and he's wearing ablack suit. Hey, bud, get
dressed. We got a call.Carter jumps off the bed and rushes over
to my dad, his tail bangingagainst my dresser. My dad leans down
to pet Carter, but keeps asafe distance to avoid getting any yellow lab
(01:34):
for on his slacks. Confused bymy dad's sudden need for me, I
point to my laptop and say,Dad, I've got homework and I'm not
on call. My Dad's facial expressionchanges. I'm not asking grant. You've
got five minutes get dressed. Heleaves my bedroom with Carter and toe,
shutting the door behind him. Geez, he went from zero to Annoyd pretty
(01:55):
quick there. I wonder what hisdeal is, Why does he need me
to go with him? Well,I guess this paper is going to have
to wait, I say to myself, closing my laptop and turning off my
desk lamp. By the time I'mdressed, ties high and shoes are on.
My Dad's already waiting in his carin the driveway. I leave the
house and press the button, closingthe garage door behind me and walking to
(02:15):
the car. It's snowing now,big wet flakes. The grass and road
are slowly being covered. Hopefully weget dumped on enough tonight that school's canceled
tomorrow, buying me at least anextra twenty four hours on this paper.
But I shouldn't bet on it.I haven't had a snow day since eighth
grade. I open the door andsit down in the passenger seat. The
dome light turns on while the dooris open. My Dad and I make
(02:36):
eye contact and smile at each otherin a professional manner. I shut my
door and fasten my seatbelt. Thedome light turns off. Glad you can
make it, my dad says,as he puts the car in reverse,
before abruptly and firmly pressing down onthe brake. At the end of the
driveway. He turns on the domelight and looks at me with disapproval.
What I say, You didn't shave, he says, Dad, you gave
(02:58):
me five minutes to get ready,and he told me to get dressed.
You said nothing about shaving. Herolls his eyes and takes his foot off
the brake. I'm not even supposedto be working right now. I've got
a very important paper do tomorrow,I say, in an argumentative teenage fashion.
Well, you should have shaved,and if your paper's due tomorrow,
it should be done by now.You can't procrastinate, grant, the work
is never as good and you neverknow when something else is going to come
(03:21):
up. Hey that's pretty good,I think to myself, Maybe I'll use
that in my paper. My dadkills the dome light and puts the car
in drive. Annoyed but mostly curious, I asked my dad, why do
you need me for the call tonite? And actually, why are you going
out? Where's Lindsay or Steve?With his eyes fixated on the road,
my dad asks, you know PeterEvans? Right? My dad asks this
(03:43):
question knowing full well then I knowexactly who Peter Evans is. I've known
him since I was a kid.In fact, my dad was the one
who introduced us. He's the headflorist at Arrangements, the high end flower
shop on fifth that handles most ofour casket sprays and other odds and ends.
When a fan, he doesn't havea specific choice in florist. He
and his wife throw lavish Christmas partiesthat I go to with my folks every
(04:05):
year. They really go all out, decorating every nook and cranny of their
house in the most immaculate fashion.I look forward to their party every year.
They always have good food, andit's easy for me, a teenager,
to sneak drinks from the bar,which rules. Pete and his wife
really do the holidays, right,That's kind of what they're known for.
Yeah, Dad, of course Iknow. Peter. Did his mom or
(04:26):
dad finally die? I asked,knowing that both of his parents have been
battling cancer for the last several years. No, he did, my dad
says, matter of factly. Whatare you serious, He's only like fifty
something. Was it a heart attack? I ask? My dad shakes his
head, looking out the window,checking for cross traffic before pulling out of
our neighborhood. No, he killedhimself, he says, in the most
(04:47):
blaise fashion possible. He killed himself. What the fuck? I mutter out
loud. My dad slaps my armand says, hey language, Sorry,
I say, half sarcastically. Minuteslater, my dad and I arrive at
the funeral home and are loading thecotton to the van, double checking it
for clean sheets and gloves in thefront pouch. We're good now that we're
(05:09):
on our way. I see myburnt CD copy of Tools lateralis tucked under
the visor on the passenger side.Oh damn, I've been looking for this
CD for months. I must haveleft it in here over the summer when
I went out with Lindsay. Alwaysenthusiastic to expose my dad to new music
I've discovered. I slide the CDin the slot, turning the stereo on
automatically. The first notes of theGrudge ring out through the van and startle
(05:33):
my dad, making him jump beforethe counter on the digital dial even reads
seven seconds. My Dad, withoutexpression, turns off the radio and ejects
a CD, placing it in betweenthe visor and roof above his head.
Well, I guess we won't belistening to any music this evening. I
can sense my dad's anxious about thiscall as we get closer to Peter's house.
(05:54):
He's normally not very chatty, buthe's never really this quiet. We've
been on calls together before, andthere's a ways been some level of father
son's small talk. You know howso and so, and do you like
your teachers this year? That sortof thing. His silence doesn't go by
unnoticed, making me slightly uneasy.We make the left hand turn into Peter's
neighborhood and I expect to pull upto a home lit by a thousand small
(06:16):
twinkling lights, with wreaths and garlandeverywhere, as this is the only way
I've ever seen Peter's house, Butinstead of the Christmas cheer I expected,
were greeted by darkness, no floodlights, no inside lights, nothing. The
house would appear completely abandoned if itwasn't for the police car sitting in the
driveway, presumably with a police officerinside, waiting for our arrival. Before
(06:42):
my dad pulls into the driveway,he slows to a stop in front of
the house, looks at me andsays, this is probably going to be
a lot. The answering service relayedthat things are pretty grizzly in there.
Can you handle this? Perplexed bythe concern in my dad's voice, I
think about it for a second andsay, yeah, I'll be fine.
Okay, he says, pulling thevan into the driveway next to the police
(07:04):
car. That feeling of unease Iwas picking up on earlier is now turned
into almost full blown panic. Whatthe hell are we walking into? My
dad has never been this concerned aboutmy capacity to make a removal. What
does he know and why isn't hetelling me anything. Peter never seemed like
the suicidal type. He was sooutgoing and gregorious. Plus he was also
(07:27):
a major clean and neat freak.Everything about him his hair, his car,
his house, all of it spotless. If he told me Pete was
going to commit suicide, I wouldimagine him hanging himself or taking pills to
avoid making a mess and ruining heand his wife's things. Apparently this isn't
the case tonight. My dad andI get out of the car and walk
to the back of the van tounload the cot. It stopped snowing.
(07:48):
Now, well, so much fora snow day, I think to myself
as the officer greets us at thevan. Hey Bill, the officer says
to my dad, Oh, that'sweird. My dad knows this guy Hey,
frank As you're not going it's interesting, he says, pointing at the
pavement directly in front of the garagedoor, highlighting a large pool of blood
that's coming from the other side ofthe closed door. Jesus, what did
(08:09):
Pete do? All right? Sothat's the preview. I can assure you
this episode is full of all kindsof twists and turns. I think you'll
really dig it. So go tomy funeral homestories dot com or tap the
link in the description of this episodeand get it today. The next episode
of My Funeral Home Stories will dropin December. Details to follow. As
(08:31):
always, thank you for listening,See you soon.
Hello everyone. I hope you're well. ASK promise there's a new premium episode
of My Funeral Home Stories available todayat my Funeral home stories dot com or
by clicking the link in the descriptionof this episode. It's called The Man
Who Killed Himself Twice. It's fortyfive minutes, and it tackles everything from
ideal versus less than ideal deaths,procrastination, and most importantly, a very
(00:26):
brutal and upsetting suicide of a familyfriend. I don't want to spoil the
episode with an extended previews, soI'll just give you a few minutes from
the middle and a little bit beforethat. Please consider going to my Funeral
Home Stories dot com or tapping thelink in the description to buy this episode.
I wrote nearly fifty pages on thisone, and I'm very very happy
(00:47):
with it. It's a four dollarsone time fee and it's all done through
supercasts, so it's nice and easy. I literally just tested it out and
it couldn't be simpler. Just goto my Funerhomestories dot com, tap the
new episodes artwork, and it willtake you right where you need to go
and give you a few simple stepsto add the episode to your podcast app
of choice anyway, without further ado, here's the preview. There's a knock
(01:12):
on my bedroom door, startling Carterawake, come in. The door swings
open, the knob hits the stopperon the wall next to the doorframe.
It's my dad and he's wearing ablack suit. Hey, bud, get
dressed. We got a call.Carter jumps off the bed and rushes over
to my dad, his tail bangingagainst my dresser. My dad leans down
to pet Carter, but keeps asafe distance to avoid getting any yellow lab
(01:34):
for on his slacks. Confused bymy dad's sudden need for me, I
point to my laptop and say,Dad, I've got homework and I'm not
on call. My Dad's facial expressionchanges. I'm not asking grant. You've
got five minutes get dressed. Heleaves my bedroom with Carter and toe,
shutting the door behind him. Geez, he went from zero to Annoyd pretty
(01:55):
quick there. I wonder what hisdeal is, Why does he need me
to go with him? Well,I guess this paper is going to have
to wait, I say to myself, closing my laptop and turning off my
desk lamp. By the time I'mdressed, ties high and shoes are on.
My Dad's already waiting in his carin the driveway. I leave the
house and press the button, closingthe garage door behind me and walking to
(02:15):
the car. It's snowing now,big wet flakes. The grass and road
are slowly being covered. Hopefully weget dumped on enough tonight that school's canceled
tomorrow, buying me at least anextra twenty four hours on this paper.
But I shouldn't bet on it.I haven't had a snow day since eighth
grade. I open the door andsit down in the passenger seat. The
dome light turns on while the dooris open. My Dad and I make
(02:36):
eye contact and smile at each otherin a professional manner. I shut my
door and fasten my seatbelt. Thedome light turns off. Glad you can
make it, my dad says,as he puts the car in reverse,
before abruptly and firmly pressing down onthe brake. At the end of the
driveway. He turns on the domelight and looks at me with disapproval.
What I say, You didn't shave, he says, Dad, you gave
(02:58):
me five minutes to get ready,and he told me to get dressed.
You said nothing about shaving. Herolls his eyes and takes his foot off
the brake. I'm not even supposedto be working right now. I've got
a very important paper do tomorrow,I say, in an argumentative teenage fashion.
Well, you should have shaved,and if your paper's due tomorrow,
it should be done by now.You can't procrastinate, grant, the work
is never as good and you neverknow when something else is going to come
(03:21):
up. Hey that's pretty good,I think to myself, Maybe I'll use
that in my paper. My dadkills the dome light and puts the car
in drive. Annoyed but mostly curious, I asked my dad, why do
you need me for the call tonite? And actually, why are you going
out? Where's Lindsay or Steve?With his eyes fixated on the road,
my dad asks, you know PeterEvans? Right? My dad asks this
(03:43):
question knowing full well then I knowexactly who Peter Evans is. I've known
him since I was a kid.In fact, my dad was the one
who introduced us. He's the headflorist at Arrangements, the high end flower
shop on fifth that handles most ofour casket sprays and other odds and ends.
When a fan, he doesn't havea specific choice in florist. He
and his wife throw lavish Christmas partiesthat I go to with my folks every
(04:05):
year. They really go all out, decorating every nook and cranny of their
house in the most immaculate fashion.I look forward to their party every year.
They always have good food, andit's easy for me, a teenager,
to sneak drinks from the bar,which rules. Pete and his wife
really do the holidays, right,That's kind of what they're known for.
Yeah, Dad, of course Iknow. Peter. Did his mom or
(04:26):
dad finally die? I asked,knowing that both of his parents have been
battling cancer for the last several years. No, he did, my dad
says, matter of factly. Whatare you serious, He's only like fifty
something. Was it a heart attack? I ask? My dad shakes his
head, looking out the window,checking for cross traffic before pulling out of
our neighborhood. No, he killedhimself, he says, in the most
(04:47):
blaise fashion possible. He killed himself. What the fuck? I mutter out
loud. My dad slaps my armand says, hey language, Sorry,
I say, half sarcastically. Minuteslater, my dad and I arrive at
the funeral home and are loading thecotton to the van, double checking it
for clean sheets and gloves in thefront pouch. We're good now that we're
(05:09):
on our way. I see myburnt CD copy of Tools lateralis tucked under
the visor on the passenger side.Oh damn, I've been looking for this
CD for months. I must haveleft it in here over the summer when
I went out with Lindsay. Alwaysenthusiastic to expose my dad to new music
I've discovered. I slide the CDin the slot, turning the stereo on
automatically. The first notes of theGrudge ring out through the van and startle
(05:33):
my dad, making him jump beforethe counter on the digital dial even reads
seven seconds. My Dad, withoutexpression, turns off the radio and ejects
a CD, placing it in betweenthe visor and roof above his head.
Well, I guess we won't belistening to any music this evening. I
can sense my dad's anxious about thiscall as we get closer to Peter's house.
(05:54):
He's normally not very chatty, buthe's never really this quiet. We've
been on calls together before, andthere's a ways been some level of father
son's small talk. You know howso and so, and do you like
your teachers this year? That sortof thing. His silence doesn't go by
unnoticed, making me slightly uneasy.We make the left hand turn into Peter's
neighborhood and I expect to pull upto a home lit by a thousand small
(06:16):
twinkling lights, with wreaths and garlandeverywhere, as this is the only way
I've ever seen Peter's house, Butinstead of the Christmas cheer I expected,
were greeted by darkness, no floodlights, no inside lights, nothing. The
house would appear completely abandoned if itwasn't for the police car sitting in the
driveway, presumably with a police officerinside, waiting for our arrival. Before
(06:42):
my dad pulls into the driveway,he slows to a stop in front of
the house, looks at me andsays, this is probably going to be
a lot. The answering service relayedthat things are pretty grizzly in there.
Can you handle this? Perplexed bythe concern in my dad's voice, I
think about it for a second andsay, yeah, I'll be fine.
Okay, he says, pulling thevan into the driveway next to the police
(07:04):
car. That feeling of unease Iwas picking up on earlier is now turned
into almost full blown panic. Whatthe hell are we walking into? My
dad has never been this concerned aboutmy capacity to make a removal. What
does he know and why isn't hetelling me anything. Peter never seemed like
the suicidal type. He was sooutgoing and gregorious. Plus he was also
(07:27):
a major clean and neat freak.Everything about him his hair, his car,
his house, all of it spotless. If he told me Pete was
going to commit suicide, I wouldimagine him hanging himself or taking pills to
avoid making a mess and ruining heand his wife's things. Apparently this isn't
the case tonight. My dad andI get out of the car and walk
to the back of the van tounload the cot. It stopped snowing.
(07:48):
Now, well, so much fora snow day, I think to myself
as the officer greets us at thevan. Hey Bill, the officer says
to my dad, Oh, that'sweird. My dad knows this guy Hey,
frank As you're not going it's interesting, he says, pointing at the
pavement directly in front of the garagedoor, highlighting a large pool of blood
that's coming from the other side ofthe closed door. Jesus, what did
(08:09):
Pete do? All right? Sothat's the preview. I can assure you
this episode is full of all kindsof twists and turns. I think you'll
really dig it. So go tomy funeral homestories dot com or tap the
link in the description of this episodeand get it today. The next episode
of My Funeral Home Stories will dropin December. Details to follow. As
(08:31):
always, thank you for listening,See you soon.
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