April 30, 2024 • 70 mins
Did 8ft aliens take over a Miami mall? Langston and David talk with returning guest, Dulcé Sloan (Hello, Friends! Stories of Dating, Destiny, & Day Jobs), about this phenomenon that happened a few months ago. This was reported all over the local news as well as TikTok. The three get down to business asking questions about the existence of aliens, how tall aliens are, and would aliens even want to hang out with earthlings. Also, we learn Langston and David's REAL heights.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
David's not going, my dearest Caroline. You ain't even know
what I'm writing, you know what you Honestly I could
see David going, My dearest CAROLINEA has been many moves.
Come on that last scene you, I can see that
for you. Pet with your notebook. Come on, letting your
thoughts and feelings get out.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
I'm not letting define Mee's is gonna come back fucked
up as well.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
I'm all right, yeah, coming back bitch that you got on?
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Rub your.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Bitch as hell.
Speaker 4 (00:38):
Girl, Damn, I need some in this.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
You know what make these bomb sounds go away? Pussy?
Speaker 1 (00:48):
You ain't never nobody like that.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
No, no, but some day.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Ships in your.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
Qualitys are racist.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
The money.
Speaker 5 (01:17):
Turkey stuff I can't tell me.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
So we did a little deed deedy girl.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
There it is.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
There it is Ladies and gentlemen, welcome gentiles and little
Mama's a light to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Me, the podcast where we dive deep into the pockets
of black conspiracy.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Theory and we finally worked to prove that Master p
has introduced some of the longest and most successful untalented
niggas in the history of hip hop truly. Just his
family alone is maybe like the the most sustaining group
(02:02):
of just a talentless individuals.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
And we cherish him.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
We we we value each and every untalented person he's
brought into our life.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
I'm like Stin Gernman and I'm dreaming Bory and I
love Silk the Chaka. You love silt the Shaka.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
You said, as much as you can, as much as
you can.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Listen, you can't love the Silta Shaker until the Silta
Shaka learns to love himself.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
I think he does.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
I think I think of any of that group, Silk
the Shaker is aware of what happened there. You think
he knew he was offbeat the whole time. I think
I think that he said, this is what I can
bring to it.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
I have a beanie and a dream.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Okay, sure, you know.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
I will say he did seem like the most positive
member of the Miller family.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Yes, I mean Murder.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
We all know Murder not necessarily a good guy. He's
sort of in the title.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was a fiend guy. If
that's a surprise to anyone who you don't remember fiend.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I don't remember I'll be honest.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yeah I never Yeah, yeah he didn't.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
He didn't do a lot of name worthy stuff.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
He was.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
He was good.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Yeah, I think I think, frankly the most talented person
they came out of the No Limit camp.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
That was birth out of the No Limit camp. Was
was mystical and touring history.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
I was about to say, boy, oh boy, is that
not a guy you want to dig too deep into
on the internet.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
But weren't we all loaned No Limit soldiers? Weren't we all?
Speaker 4 (03:47):
We were all No Limited soldiers?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Of course I told you, yeah, so much arm.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
Come on, you know what My favorite No Limit song
was the Montel Jordan Let's Ride remix with Master P.
You don't remember that, No, you don't remember Let's Ride.
I think Let's Ride to Night. Can't do it without it?
You love this about it, but you don't remember that song.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
I remember about it, about it? I remember ice cream
Man was my favorite. Have you ever heard have you heard?
The song that ice creamn is sample song.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
The ice Cream Truck song.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
No No Negro. The song ice cream Man is sampled
from a song called turn Out the Lights.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
The Teddy Pendagrash song No.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
It's a song. I think it's called Record Crew. Is
the name of the people who do the original song,
the world Record Crew? Yeah, I think so. With Doctor
Dre No no no, no, no no. The Callum is a
different record crew, which is there were two Doctor Dres.
But the chorus of the song is this lady going
before you turn out the lights, Let's get one thing understood. Yeah, yeah,
(05:00):
I love that song.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
I haven't heard this song crazy.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
The dude Romeo that comes on at the end, he's
not rapping or singing.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
I like that.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
And this isn't This isn't iMX Romeo.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
This is a compassive.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
This is a complete We have a lot of Romeos.
Speaker 4 (05:20):
You do you call them iMX or do you call
him immature?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
If?
Speaker 3 (05:24):
I think in my heart they're still immature, but out
of respect, I didn't want to dead name them, so
I gave them i MX to honor.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
I mean, even one of the ones that Brandy blinded.
Is that what you're.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
Saying, I mean, if we're going to start in yes, I.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Mean, never forget she killed somebody.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
I've never forgotten.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
I don't think she forgot either.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
If that makes you feel better, I think that that
sort of keeps her awake fair amount of night, n.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Goes to sleep with no problem.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
That young lady is doing.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Just Brady hasn't slept since early two thousand. Kateles sleep heavy.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
You've already heard our guest voice today. She's she's a
returning contributor to our podcast. We we call our guest
contributors now because of the important work.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
That we're doing.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
She's she's hilarious. You know her from a lot of shit.
You know her from from Comedy Central, you know her
from Netflix, you know her from the Daily Show, and
most importantly, you know her from her book. She has
a book, a very hilarious book. Let me get the
title right. I don't want to fuck this up. Hello friends,
Stories of dating, destiny and day jobs. She's wonderful. She's
(06:41):
a dear friend. Give it up for Dulce.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Sloan Nigerian African. I'm a sister, Okay.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
I can tell you loved your drop. I can tell
just off of your reaction. You really love what David
pick for you.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
That's what Jo specifically. I wouldn't do that to other people.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
No, no, listen, David knows I can take it. Yeah, exactly,
David knows I can take it. And uh, anybody saying
I'm are we still sisters? Are we still doing this?
Speaker 2 (07:19):
You mean colloquially?
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Yeah, are sisters and brothers? You know he's a brother.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
I feel weird about saying that now that there are
Tyler Perry programs calling that.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
So, oh there's a sisters and yeah he got both lockdown.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
I'm just waiting for Tyler Perry to just go full
Ted Turner and just have a chance own network.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
Yeah, yeah, happened.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
I think Tyler Perry network's coming soon.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
It Oprah has her own network. What's stopping Tyler Perry
from TPN.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
They'll finally bring back the game.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Bro, they would bring back the game.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Well, you know they brought it back.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
It's brought back soeveral times.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Yeah, they they had it on Paramount.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
I think I watched every episode.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Did you?
Speaker 4 (08:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:08):
I did, and you enjoyed it?
Speaker 1 (08:10):
I sure did.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
I like the game. We got to get you on
the game, like you would be in there.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
I think a younger me could have been on the game.
I think intended to be a football player.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
No, no, no, you it would have been like an
agent or something. Yeah, you would have been.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
You ain't telling them to a football player.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
Baby girl, All them niggas is five six. Let's not
get confused about the the artists.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Friend friends, I said tall, but we know I meant
something else.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
You would have been Tasha Max's new love interest. You
could have you would would.
Speaker 5 (08:51):
Have been.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
You could have been Yeah, you could have fought Pooky.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
That would have been nice.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
It would have been nice. Yeah, nice little, I said tall,
because I didn't want to just respect you on your
own podcast.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
You know what I day, Someday I'll get buff and
and that's okay. I'll get buff, I'll get I'll get darker.
Speaker 4 (09:09):
And you should wait around till you could get that.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
Would that bandman Kevin get the hebl he be e
b o.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
I would like a hebl. I think that'd be what's
happening men are getting. It's also what Rick Ross is
accusing Drake of having gotten. And yeah, we're trying to
get likes and snatched.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Thirty too.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Men have been getting their abs lightbode for years, so
this is nothing.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Yeah, but it's more than just getting abs lightbode. Now there.
They are taking the fat from the middle and turning
it into titty meat that like it's almost, yeah, converted
into like muscle. They're and then like backshit, they're like
doing a lot to basically reframe their bodies into something,
(10:06):
which is why Rick Ross said, you're running around here
with twenty five percent body fat with abs that math
ain't checking out.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Uh he basically a huge strake of it.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
I don't know how much body fat you need to
have abs. I always don't have had too much to
have them.
Speaker 4 (10:20):
I never looked it up.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
It's way less than twenty five percent.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I assure, Yeah, it got to be like points something, right.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
I think you're you gotta be like less than like
ten to be able to pull off abs in any
real way.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
Oh, you got to be close. Then what are you?
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Eleven?
Speaker 4 (10:38):
Twelve?
Speaker 2 (10:39):
No, I don't know. I'm not about to do that
in front of you.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
I don't want to. I don't want to make you up.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Really skinny dudes with no abs though.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Right, because their body fat is it's always a confusing
thing when you see a skinny due you're like almost
white person.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Well there's so I mean, they're so skinny and just
like there could have been an AB here if you
like just did a little bit more. But some of
them are skinny enough to have. It's like there's the
abs with no definition, like just oh, this is just
how a body is.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
So very weak, and we should we should make space
for that in our society.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
No, we shouldn't weak adult man, there's so many we
need a draft.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
What we need to draft here first, Georgia.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
I want some of them army men's no, no, no, no,
we need to weed these fuckers out. That's why I
said we need a draft. Listen, we're out here breeding
with the worst right now.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Understand am I to understand that the draft is to
send the weak ones to war?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
What do we drafting them to? So the weak ones.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Go to war and never really die and not even
the ones stay and breed with you?
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Is that the plan? Not just not everybody, it's not
even a real war. They're going to go fight a
proxy war for it somewhere.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Made war since the seventies constantly, so just like this
is a problem. We are letting just too many. There's
so many weak ones in the gene pool. And I
know this might sound like eugenics, but that's exactly.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
What I think.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
This might just be eugenics.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
List if you can, I'll tell you this, If you
can make it through a war, then that means that
you're giens. Because it's like you think about it, every
other species on the planet, the males have to show
some type of even bears, even fish, the little little
fish that make little geometric patterns to attract a mate,
(12:45):
to show that they're better than other males. So every
other species, the males have to do something to show
that they are the best.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Well, that's why, that's why some of us are week
in peacock on stage.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
We stand up.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Yeah, I think you're forgetting that a few of us
have learned to trick women in different ways and that
should be celebrated as well.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
War doesn't. War doesn't do that justice.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
So you think they don't know who.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
Y'all are.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Us, I pray to God that that they don't, because
that's the scam that I'm trying to run.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
For the rest. Inside.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
Outside, I'll be I'll be all right.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Inside outside.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Yeah, me, those say he wants to send me and
you the war, I don't. I don't love it, but no,
I hate it.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Listen, there's no way I know for I know y'all
for long enough to know that y'all are coming back.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
That's the nicest thing maybe you've said in the entire
twelve years we known each other.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
I don't because I told you your alligator joke is
still to this day one of my favorite jokes. It's nice.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
That's not as nice as say it.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
I won't war, you dot, you won't die.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
You won't die. Like the Weekly French.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
Staring at a picture of a lady who you have
to write letters to.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Oh man, but when no one's writing letters, you just
checked it a bitch. Hey you up, I'm in the trenches.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
You're right back.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yeah, I was up like eight days ago.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
No, we can't keep talking about war in the trenches.
We we have a wonderful conspiracy that you came to us,
del say, you presented one that.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
We argued a lot about.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Yeah, we've had multiple arguments about whether or not this
has actually come up on the podcast. Bory firmly believes
that it has come up. I firmly believe it hasn't.
No evidence shows that it has come up.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
But listening to your own podcast, yeah, well.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
We don't do that. You know what, I think I
think that I might have just talked to dose about
it in hindsight.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
That's I said that last night.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
I think I just I think remember when we were
playing Uno till so late in the morning in Minneapolis.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
I think we were talking about it then.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
That could have been it, because yeah, because you were like,
you're from Miami in Atlanta, what do you think about this?
And I was like, it's perfectly feasible what they were.
I think.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
Listen, Okay, before before you get to it, let's introduce
it to our listeners.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
You said, my mama told.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Me the Miami mom had eight foot aliens. Well she
was like eight and ten. It was big, you know, Lincoln,
They wasn't There wasn't four feet you know what I mean.
It was big as aliens.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
I feel like you're coming at me.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
I don't know. I'm not four feet, but it feels
like you're saying that to me.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
And I don't know what to tell you about that.
I don't know how to make you feel better about
the situation.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
But I'm six two. I'm fine with it. You six too,
don't worry about it. My man is six too. I'm
all of mine. Nah. No, Actually I had to get
measured because I bought a bike oof a nigga been lying, man,
is what I found out.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
Oh you've you've been telling people you were taller than you.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
Are significantly damn and not even on some shit.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
I just truly did not know because I didn't have
health insurance for the longer.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
I just really didn't know.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
I just so you thought you were six feet tall.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
No, I thought I was five to ten.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
You're not, no. Five eight.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Listen, I'm five four. So everybody's taller than man.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
See that's my problem with this. All you don't even
know it's all the different. What's the difference?
Speaker 4 (16:45):
I do?
Speaker 3 (16:45):
I do get frustrated with that, where like there'll be
somebody who clearly doesn't know what five eleven is, being
like you ain't five eleven. It's like, baby girl, what
are we talking about.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
I'm gonna tell you this. I'm gonna tell you it
is sixty tall. It is looking real different on a
lot of different niggas. I'm gonna tell you that.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
I mean somebody who was lying about it. Though, I
do feel it because I really it was, like I said,
I was. I just assumed five to ten because I
would be like around six foot tall people and I'd
be like, I'm not that much shorter than them. Mm
hmmm hmm.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Well, if nobody believes that I'm five four, that's what
I think is the How tall are you?
Speaker 4 (17:22):
I'm five for no one believes you're pretty little?
Speaker 1 (17:25):
That's what I mean. I thought it was like a
nice I'm a lady's eye.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
But how tall are you?
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Like I'd say five ten to five eleven, depending on
who's asking.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
That feels right?
Speaker 2 (17:37):
See, and do I feel that much shorter than you?
Speaker 3 (17:39):
You're shorter than me for sure.
Speaker 6 (17:40):
I realized I wasn't. I'm not gonna put that on it.
That feels like in.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
An attack and I'm not trying to do all that.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
But but no, I'm shorter than everybody. Like. No one's
like like they were like, oh, I thought you were
taller than this, So I'm like, no, I'm just like
I think maybe because of my afro, people might think
I'm taller.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
I watched a video pretty recently of a dude who
was showing up with like measuring tape at the at
like the gym that's asking dudes to say how tall
they were, and then he checked. And it was hard
to watch for a lot of men who were like
I'm six two and then he'd measure them and they
were like five ten Oh nah good, And they were
(18:30):
having a hard time with it, like it wasn't they
weren't laughing at off.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
It wasn't funny.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
A bunch of the men refused to let themselves be measured.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
It got weird, bro, That's why I'm glad I got
that bicycle.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
Man, I'm not.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
I was never trying to be a tall personality guy.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Well. I remember, like I had a joke during COVID that, uh,
when they had that like six foot distancing. I said, yeah,
I was walking down the street with my homeboys and
I saw the six foot stickers and I'm just like, hey, man,
lay down for a second. I'm trying to figure something out. Basically,
it was like, cause like this six feet six feet
on the ground and six feet standing up. It don't
seem to be the same six feet to me. So
(19:07):
I'm just want to be like, hey, bro, laid out
right quick. I'm trying to figure I'm trying to see
something and see if this six feet is really six.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
Feet unrelated these eight to ten foot tall aliens.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Let me tell you something.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
This is why I think it makes sense to me.
One if I was an alien, right, yeah, because they
keep going to places like it was crop circle nonsense
and all this other stuff. And it's like they keep
going on like Iowa, Kansas and like putting patterns in
these fields. I think this is that new younger generation
of aliens. Just like listen, I don't want to be
out here in no field with no patterns this. So
(19:43):
I don't know why we was doing this. They don't
know what it means. The humans ain't figured it out yet.
What all we were saying was hey, row was good,
or how y'all doing? Or heystock destroying your planet with
climate change. We would trying to talk to them. They
don't get it, so we need to come to them
to where they're at. What's the place that won people
would slight believe, Like if you said aliens in la
you're like aliens in Atlanta, I'm like, we already got
(20:05):
at aliens on bank, like we don't need this. But
if someone's like aliens in Miami, I was like, yeah,
I didn't make sense to.
Speaker 4 (20:11):
Me because I'm not following.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Well, here's the thing, what's the wildest place. Well, because
there's a few places where people would be like yeah,
that's so crazy it could happen in Miami. I feel
like it's that place where it's just like yo, because
you said, like aliens in Vegas, aliens in Miami. You'd
be like, it's so nuts that that maybe fit because
(20:36):
it's even like because what's the place from, just like
what's places where like someone could be like in a
wild costume. Right.
Speaker 4 (20:43):
See.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
That's why I feel like LA makes sense to me
because like I feel like people in Miami are just fine.
They're not like crazy looking.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
No, they're not crazy looking, but I'm saying it's just
like that's what I'm saying, this hot new young aliens like, right,
I don't want to keep putting these messages in these
fiels because they don't get it right. Let's just go
outside and see what's going with what are the kids doing?
That's why I mean I was just like yeah, because
if you just feel like, oh, there was aliens in
(21:12):
the mall in Utah, I'd be like, no, that's down right,
was not interesting.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
I think it may be helpful to frame this up
a little bit for our listeners that there is a
video that circulated.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
What was this Like, I want to say it's.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Two thousand, oh two thousands.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
It was earlier this year.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
It was January. Earlier this year, a video circulated of
what appeared to be giant aliens walking down a pathway
outside of the mall while police were sort of like
all circled around it. This is the video we all saw,
I think of like police.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
So he didn't talk about this.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
Yeah, I guess if.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
It was January this year, maybe it was a maybe
when I was doing a podcast or something. I don't know.
So the videos them outside Miami Dade is outside.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
And they're walking, strolling, I would say, very casually, walking
as police circle, tons of police cars, tons of police
cars circling these giant alien looking creatures, and uh, the
everybody is speculating as to whether or not these are
real aliens or AI or some sort of combination of
(22:29):
both or kids.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Zenoan's thought that it was just like people in costumes,
like on a Jim Henson situation on a industrial light
and magic fucking the Walt Disney of it all, like
no one like a costume wasn't the next thing.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
I think it probably was speculated. I do think we've
moved out of a place culturally of practical props, and
that's disappointing.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
I think cgi FU the whole shit up.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
I think CG I really fucked it up so that
we don't even think about practical being an option any more.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
And I saw it coming as soon as I saw
Deep Blue Sea, I said, we're doomed.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Here's the thing. Like when I goot of that new
Jurassic Park movie that he was just looking at dots.
I was like, damn, ain't no animatronics, no more, No,
what happened that those people used to eat? Bro? They
was really out here.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
It was all practical effects.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Yeah, it was really Park is still fucking kind of
scary because they had real you know, practical.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Somebody had to put teeth in a motherfucker's head. Bro. Yeah,
dinnisaur somebody to make a little thing with the fans.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
So that's the one they recorded originally.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Wait before we go, Before we go to Break, I
think we should decide who here believes in aliens absolutely.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
I definitely believe in aliens.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Okay, same, so we're all on the same page.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Yeah, I think it would be foolish, frankly to even uh.
I think anybody who doesn't even kind of believe in
the possibility of life outside of this planet is a
goddamn idiot.
Speaker 4 (24:16):
Yeah, that's why I agree it's too big.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Now, whether or not they're coming to this planet is
more up for debate, but yes, but we ain't alone
in this universe. Stupid And if you say otherwise, I
hate you.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Well it's interesting because it's like people like, there's the
there's the you know, excuse people say like, well, you know,
as a Christian, you know, I don't believe that, like
there's aliens. I was like, but as a Christian, you
should like, what do you mean? I was like, if
God is so powerful it created the heavens and the
Earth in the entire universe, why would you limit God's
(24:53):
power to just one planet when the universe is so
big and there's thousands of planets. You think he only
did this one time.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
I'm saying it's a space thing I don't even know about.
I'm just saying it's a space thing. With all the space,
why would it just why would he make all these
other shit to just make life on this place? It
doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
Yeah, I've often equated Christianity to like those niggas who
ain't never left their neighborhood, like like you believe all
that stuff because you ain't never left Chicago.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
But there's the best the world.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
It's like, yeah, maybe if you ain't been nowhere.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
But that's always interesting to me because they said, like
most people live within a fifty mile radius of where
they were born. And I'm just like, oh, I've been
to forty six states, forty five states, So it's just
an odd thing because it's just like but then I
have to think about there's the other side of it
where it's like when you start thinking about how big
the universe is, it can break your brain sometimes. So
(25:57):
like if there was a Neil de grasse tysan show Netflix,
and he was saying like, if you take how old
the universe is then human beings and you and you
equate it to a calendar, a twelve month calendar, then
the existence of human beings is like the last minute
of the last day. It's like eleven fifty nine if
(26:20):
you put the entire existence of the universe on a
twelve month calendar. And I was watching it and I
was like, Nope, I'm a smart person. I didn't suck
it need that, and they made it.
Speaker 4 (26:30):
I think not really, I find it comforting.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Well, it's like because a dinosaur is like the last hour,
and I'm like, meh, what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Is that actual.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
It doesn't have to do in a day. But like
if you think too much about how big things are,
it's just like yeah, but I still want to eat
a sandwich later, So like it's all right, you know,
I still got to get my brother some moramen when
I get back to La So because I so like
the universe is massive, you know, you're just you're full
(27:01):
of star stuff and you know in the big spectrum
of the thing, and aliens are coming and trying to
buy Jordan's But because how big with their feet.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
At least fifteen they're ten feet, they're I think they're
heading into the shacks. They got to be like twenty two's.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
And yeah, because I'm six foot and I got a program.
I love the motherfucker telling us these five ages and.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Then turning till six feet within moments. Brilliant, brilliant.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Wait, you were telling people you were six foot when
you lived in the house.
Speaker 4 (27:40):
I thought it was five ten.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Okay, you lived with Marcella and Solomon for a very
long time.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
All my friends are tall. I'm fucking sick of that ship.
There's the other thing about it. I'm sorry for yelling.
It's just like the other thing about it is you
start hanging out with these six four sixty five freaks, Nna,
you lose yourself in it. You lose yourself. All you
know is that you're down there and nobody even cares.
(28:07):
Nobody even cares. What's the difference, what's the difference between
five and seven and five eleven? If you your fucking
best friends are six foot four? I got I got
four friends six foot four, good ones. Well, I'll say this.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
When we come back, we are going to find out
if whether or not David was in fact living with
those big ass aliens in the Miami Mall or Solomon, Georgia.
And we're gonna take a break. We're gonna be back
with more Ma Mama told me, and more Dulce Slum.
(28:45):
We're calling upon you because we have we have new merch.
We have very exciting merch that we are now selling
and it's it's fucking great.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
We love it so much.
Speaker 4 (28:57):
Just sleek, it's sexy.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
On you want to tell them what we have? Yeah,
we have three different types of hats, which is really fun.
We have a two tone hat, an alien dad hat,
the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we have
the enamel pen with the alien who has a koofie
on it since my mama told me. And then we
have t shirts that say proud little Mama, which is.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
Who you are.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
Yeah, you can buy the merch now, go to my
mama told me dot merch table dot com. It's a
brand new name, but it's the same old merch and
we would love for you to get some if you
haven't got it already, and we want you to have
all the sweet stuff, so get it.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
King Kong ain't got on me. We are back, not
talking about King Kong, but another mythical beast. We're talking
about the aliens in Miami with those sloan Okay.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
When this news comes out, don't say you obviously are
tracking it. You're from Miami. Emmy, you see this, do
you immediately believe? Do you start to say, I know
you're saying that there is a real possibility, but how
much of this are you like fully bought into? Are
you just like having fun with the joy of like
(30:15):
playing the game?
Speaker 1 (30:16):
I believe it so quick. I didn't even do further research.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
That's what we like to hear on this podcast.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
I saw just a little bit in that video and
that was like sustained, and I just went on. I
was like, yeah, accurate, sounds right. Why I was like,
I said, why wouldn't they go to Miami?
Speaker 2 (30:36):
I think everybody should go to Miami once.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Oh, believe me, I've been, and it's it's a I've been.
I used to live there, I was born there, and
it's a great place to visit. It's not an amazing
place to live. It's been hard to get a job
since Hurricane Andrew, so since Clinton was in office to
spend It's already be rich to live there. So, and
you have to speak at aspect. It's why I speak Spanish.
(30:58):
It's because I learned it in school.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
But she was from some island nation.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
I'm black.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Uh yeah, I thought I thought your mama was Puerto Rican.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
I thought, like Dominic, I thought you were from a
Spanish speaking place.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
My mama had a Cuban friend named Dulce when she
went to hair school.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
I assumed I assumed your middle name was le I didn't.
Speaker 4 (31:22):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did think it had something.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
To do with the kid.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
My middle name was Lazaria. That's I don't know what
to make La is the feminine virsion of Lazarus.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
Okay, yeah, I believe you. Oh, like.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
From the Bible.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Yeah, yeah, they came back from the day right.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Yes, she's a resurrected here.
Speaker 4 (31:45):
And then my mom was like, what if he was
a girl?
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Well, my aunt came my I never know that was
the thing. My aunt gave me my middle name. But
when I was first, when they first named me, my
name was flipped. So originally my first name was lazarre
Ye and my middle name was Dulcer. And then my
mother changed it, and then she changed it and then
she and the last time she changed it, she had
how it is now And the nurse was like this,
(32:10):
you have to like put a birth figare or a typewriter.
And I talked about it in the book and the
nurse was like, I'm not coming back up here with
this typewriter. So this is your daughter's name.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Whoa, whoa.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
So if she'd have put her foot down just one
time before, my name would have been Lazaria Dulcir.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Shout out to those typewriter birth certificates for looking fake
as hell. Bro, my ship looks my ship looks not
real for counter fit. Okay, bro, my ship is oriented
fucking long way. It's not landscape portrait. It's portrait and
it just says father's birthplace Africa, Mother's I swear I
(32:53):
got it because my mom said it to me in
the mail. Because you know, I ain't have I D
for like four years, and then you got to get
a birth certificate to get your ID back.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
ID for four years.
Speaker 4 (33:01):
Okay, that's not what this is about.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
No, nigga, you are a black man walking around with
no ID for four years.
Speaker 4 (33:09):
Lee, I don't like to have it on me now.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
The point is that I got my birth certificate and
I was like, Mommy, this this can't be real, right.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
I will say it does make me feel a little
bit of nostalgia for eighties style racism where you could
just be like Africa. Yeah, we don't get that kind
of good, clean racism that was peer straight from the
earth racism.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Like I had friends who were like I think, friends
that had they born Maybe like, if that's the case
that anyone who had friends like born like so your
parents are say like Mexico, or like you're or some
ship like that.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Yeah. No, I think they would have done countries in
other places they would have I think they would have
said Italy.
Speaker 4 (33:54):
I think because it was Africa, they.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
Just said, yeah, yeah, we're like two weeks out from
doing that now, you know what I mean, Like, we're
just now treating those nations like they're different.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
Yeah. Yeah, A bunch of people found out about Ghana. Yeah,
truly Ghana changed the game.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
No, because it was just Nigeria for the whole of
my life, and I was like, y'all could come for
free Nigeria South Africa.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
And that's what I was gonna say. Those were the
Those were the big ones. But Ethiopia was mostly just
for jokes. It was only a bit. We weren't even
I didn't.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
I didn't even realize they were so fucking bad in
Ethiopia because we were just calling them little hungry boys
my whole life. And then I saw an Ethiopia woman.
I was like, these are the baddest human beings. They're
the PLAUTI what are we making fun of here?
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Well, the other wild part is that we never think
about Egypt as being like we think of Egypt mean
born in Africa. But other people, well, it's well one
was so crazy.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
I don't think egypt that either.
Speaker 4 (35:08):
They're like they're going to be Middle Eastern. They're like,
we're basically Arabs.
Speaker 1 (35:14):
I mean, I know a lot of y'all are over there.
But but the thing is because like there's a guy
that I know is so there's a like an agent
or mandra I know, and so his family's Egyptian and
I'm just saying it because he was talking about it.
I was like, he's saying, it's crazy that like technically
he's African American, yeah, but also technically Charlie Starhin is
African American. Yes, yeah, But she's smart enough not to
(35:37):
ever talk about it.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
And I praise she doesn't. I hope for her the.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
Day she does is the day where it's just like, well,
I think she's made jokes about it, certainly, but I
hope she never genuinely comes out and it's like as
an African American. But the one time there was some
award show and it was just like she won an
award and they said something about her being like the
first African to win X award, and I think everybody
(36:02):
went what she was kind of.
Speaker 4 (36:03):
Like a B E T Award too.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
I'm not showing to listen, Charlie.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
Bro I've got a n double a CP. I got
two ACP Awards, and them ceremonies are interesting.
Speaker 4 (36:21):
I'll say that, is it better than other ceremonies.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
I'll say that I've been to the Emmys like four
or five times and they've never had a cash bar.
Speaker 4 (36:34):
Hmm. God damn it a c and it.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
Was and it was spawned. And what was so crazy
about it being a cash bar is that they had
this big sign thing that it was sponsored by American
Airlines because if you remember American, so at one point
the NAACP had put a travel advisory against American airlines,
You're saying that black people shouldn't travel on American And
then a year later American Airlines was like, we gave
(37:00):
you niggas a bar. Oh, but only at like the
non televised part of the ceremony. And it was a
cash bar.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Luckily, it was also sponsored by Contour Ludacris's Kognac for
free produce.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
And Buzzball sponsored the god damn it, no, that's.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
Not for real went on and drink Buzzball or used
to drink buzzballs.
Speaker 4 (37:29):
Don't do that. I didn't used to drink buzzballs. I've
had buzzballs because they used to sell them.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
On Spirit when Spirit first came out. That's how you
had a buzzball. Was flying a Spirit Airlines flight. All right,
everybody's so great, everybody's so rich that everybody so everybody
so rich on this podcast. All right, excuse me for living.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
I'm wait a minute, let's be clear. I'm not judging
trying a buzzball.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
We all have. I'm not judging flying Spirit. We all had.
The combinations is fucking nuts.
Speaker 4 (38:07):
It was.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
I've not had a buzzball, nor have I bet on Spirit.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
Well, well that's that's what you did.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
You die?
Speaker 2 (38:17):
Yeah, breaking, Might we fan you with our big ass leafs?
Speaker 5 (38:28):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (38:29):
Oh yeah, I'm sorry, Queen.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Never had hurried up of us have had to get
to pussy quick fast and.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Shirts.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
I'm trying to get to Houston for twenty six dollars.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
Bory, you were writing Spirit to get the pussy.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
No, no, I think I was. I'm pretty sure I
flew to cleveling, which, now when I say the whole
story out loud, this motherfucker was going to Cleveland. He
said the steartess, do they call you that on Spirit?
Bring me your finest buzzball? No, because what it happened
(39:16):
was it was early Spirit and I paid. If you
paid like forty bucks, you could get the front seat
in Spirit, and it's a bigger seat. It's like a
first first class seat. So I was like, shit, I'm
up here, and uh yeah, they have buzzballs on there. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Then I called fight and you just go, hey, bitch, skyhor.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
Shitty liqueur you could offer me. I need something to
wash down the compliment you get?
Speaker 1 (40:04):
What do you what do you pair with these hot fries?
Speaker 4 (40:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (40:07):
Keep in mind alone, is there a drink you have
that's gonna make me scratch my neck incessantly for the
next two hours?
Speaker 1 (40:18):
So when I stopped pedaling to keep the playing the
sky to quench my thirst.
Speaker 3 (40:28):
So, uh, it is worth noting as it relates to
these eight to ten feet aliens, is that the conspiracy
was almost immediately denied. The Miami police sort of came
forward saying that this was the antics of a bunch
of children, a bunch of juveniles, several juveniles, as it's quoted,
(40:52):
and Forbes did a write up on it were arrested
for basically it seems like having like a mass brawl
at the mall and that's what caused all the people
to run. That's what caused all the police to show up.
They got in this big ass fight. And the footage
is said of these aliens walking is actually said to
(41:13):
be just two to three police officers walking towards the
arrested individuals and not these large aliens they suggest them
to be.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
So the smoke what distorted? Maybe, so it was just
like because they were like setting off fireworks and all
kinds of shit. Yeah, So is it like the smoke
and the fire Is it like just distortion of like
light and like fireworks smoke or whatever. So it's just
like casting long shadows.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
Yeah, it's a pretty low quality video.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
It's at night, and it's from a substantial distance, and
I think they say that basically it's the eyes tricking
you into seeing ten feet aliens eight to ten, which
I don't even know how from that distance we're landing
on the numbers that we're landing on.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
But the cop cars, right, that's probably how they.
Speaker 3 (42:05):
Yeah, but like they're not next to them, next to them,
at least from the video I saw.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
See one, I saw some at eight, and then another
article said saw ten. So I'm just like two feet
is a fucking line.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a lot of cop cars and obviously,
like whoever is walking looks larger than you know what
you would expect a regular person to look like that said,
They're saying it's multiple people and it's just shadows and
weird sort of like distortion.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
I mean, I think it's crazy that they're talking about this, Like,
I mean, one who doesn't know people who have gotten
into a brawl at a mall. It's very much like
a green Eggs and hand like, well, we all have
friends who got in a fight or got in too
a brawl technically.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
All yeah, I don't even guy who used to go
to the mall to fight m he went prison later.
Speaker 4 (43:02):
How's he doing now?
Speaker 2 (43:03):
Though, actually he came out.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
How is he?
Speaker 2 (43:11):
No?
Speaker 4 (43:11):
I mean he can't. He got out and then he
came out.
Speaker 2 (43:13):
Oh okay, he was doing well.
Speaker 4 (43:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
But then I think back to his behavior back then,
and I think that it feels like there was like
some frustration with the world, like because to be eighteen
nineteen and his dad was a cop, and to be
that young to be like let's go to the mall
and fuck people up, you know what I mean. It
just felt like maybe he was fighting.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
He did to put it, I'm sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I think honestly, I was thinking about that the other day,
just like growing up, like there weren't a lot of
openly gay kids at my high school and then like no,
and I went a very like diversary mixed high school,
and then I was thinking recently like there's so many
(43:56):
kids now that get to not only openly be gay,
but like date and go to like and have date
and go to prom and and it's just like it's honestly,
it makes me like so happy because I think about
for so long people like hot. I'm not going to
say like too much. Was also just like I think
it's also good for other people to see in the
same way, just like we look at de sagregation or
(44:18):
women getting rights and all this other stuff. It's like
it makes everybody better when other people can get right.
It just has to be like just all these things
that all of the anger and stuff and like because
that guy had that anger and he would go out
and fight, and then that would affect other people's lives.
Speaker 4 (44:34):
Oh so light skinning.
Speaker 1 (44:35):
So some of it was innate, y'all, y'all, y'all, listen, listen.
Speaker 3 (44:42):
Nobody today. I was minding my goddamn business. We did
a whole episode we made peace, and here you come.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
I was being peace.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
I've always said what he was like light skin dudes.
I've always thought it was like, light skinned dudes are
weak and dark skinned women are aggressive. Okay, always, That's
what I'm saying as a stereotype. I'm saying the stereotype
that there is light skin dudes are weak and dark
skinned women are aggressive. I think this is a wild
(45:19):
ass stereotype. And I'm like, I want, like, if you
talk about my mama told me I would know where
these two things came from. For somebody acting real light skin.
We never apply this to women, and then dark skinned men.
We don't see. It's like there's not this stereotype around
because there's no stereots around lights. Like the stereos type
(45:39):
around light skin women is that they're uppity and that
they're fougie. And then but I don't know what world
stereotype there is arend like dark skinned men.
Speaker 2 (45:49):
Sensitive dark skin man, I'm just trying to fly under
the radar. Let's not stir any of this I.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
Can tell you.
Speaker 4 (45:54):
But I'm the strongest, uh.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
I can tell you as a as a as a
mid toned woman. No one says shit to me.
Speaker 4 (46:03):
So that's where you want to be.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
Listen, you guys six Like I.
Speaker 1 (46:08):
Remember being in school being like, man, this like conduction
ship is a problem because it's like nigga, if you're
midnight or noon, hey, if you're six pm.
Speaker 3 (46:17):
Fine, yeah, we we fine peace every day.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
Because y'all are y'all. First of all, you're intelligent people
who can get through a war.
Speaker 2 (46:26):
Come on, come on, keep going.
Speaker 3 (46:34):
We have to we have to go to another break.
But before we do, it's also worth noting that or
rather when we come back, and this is maybe a
better way of framing this up. I did do some
research on where the the possibility of this might actually
actually exist. I landed on something that I'd love to
unpack with you all about the possibility of any validity
(46:57):
for this Miami conspiracy, even though it's seems to be
just a bunch of badass kids fist fighting at the mall.
So we're gonna take a break, we're gonna be back
with more doselet song, more my mama told me, and
we're gonna talk more about these aliens. We're calling upon
you because we have new merch. We have very exciting
(47:22):
merch that we are now selling and it's it's fucking great.
We love it so much.
Speaker 4 (47:28):
Just sleek, it's sexy.
Speaker 2 (47:30):
Come on, you want to tell them what we have? Yeah,
we have three different types of hats, which is really fun.
We have a two tone hat, an alien dad hat,
the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we have
the enamel pin with an alien who has a coofie
on it since my mama told me. And then we
have t shirts that say proud little Mama, which is.
Speaker 4 (47:50):
Who you are.
Speaker 3 (47:51):
Yeah, you can buy the merch now, go to my
mama told me dot merch table dot com. It's a
brand new name, but it's a same merch and we
would love for you to get some if you haven't
got it already, and we want you to have all
the sweet stuff, so get it.
Speaker 4 (48:10):
I want you to know this.
Speaker 7 (48:11):
If your prayers include me to stop drinking, stop smoking,
and stop having fun and stop.
Speaker 4 (48:17):
Watching these little bitches spop the ads.
Speaker 7 (48:19):
If your prayers include any of those things and not
gonna work because of rejecting them all. And I will
be continuing in my saying we could ask motherfucking ways.
Speaker 4 (48:27):
I gets it that the way you want to put.
Speaker 3 (48:30):
Yep, we're back. That is the leader of this podcast.
That is my grandfather, a gentleman who inspires us every day.
We don't know his name or where he is, but
we trust him and the Lord's prayers. With Olivia's writing,
that man said.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
Take your prayers and keep them because I ain't stopping
doing now thing I'm doing over here.
Speaker 3 (48:55):
Come on, we're still talking about the possibilities that there
are ten feet eight to ten feet aliens walking around malls,
specifically in Miami. And one of the things that I
landed on, or rather wanted to unpack with you all,
is that this gray alien conversation is in fact a
real one. Grays, as they're commonly referred to, are sort
(49:18):
of a very I guess, stereotypical alien breed that is
often associated with visiting the planet Earth.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
It's the ones you see, it's the ones you tend
to see, right, Like, no distinct features, kind of fuzzy outlines,
humanoid body, yeah, big eyes.
Speaker 3 (49:36):
Big ass head.
Speaker 1 (49:37):
My ex side of roommate that looked like that.
Speaker 2 (49:43):
Well, that's unfortunate.
Speaker 3 (49:44):
And the idea of waking up in the middle of
the night and seeing that walk past your room seems
haunting at the very least.
Speaker 1 (49:52):
And you stayed downstairs.
Speaker 3 (49:54):
Okay, he knew he was ugly, and he knew he
was gray.
Speaker 1 (49:56):
I like that he was needed some vitamin D. Saw
you just need like some just some sunlight really would
have helped him.
Speaker 3 (50:03):
But there are multiple sort of like incidents where people
claim to have seen these quote unquote grays out in
the world. And I'm curious to hear you all's thoughts
as it relates to that. Do you believe in the
grays walking around and it just isn't in this Miami mall?
Or do you think like maybe this is the police
(50:24):
trying to throw a little bit of a red herring
a wrench into what ultimately is a real thing. Where
where do you live in the aliens looking humanoid and
walking around vibe a bit?
Speaker 4 (50:37):
All?
Speaker 2 (50:37):
It's such a tough It's such a tough Because I
thought about this before, is that other planets sustaining life
humanoid is like it feels kind of arrogant to assume
that it.
Speaker 4 (50:50):
Will look just like us. Who knows there's infinite ways
to be mobile, you know what I'm saying. So like
for some than to be shaped exactly like us does
feel like more of a red herring to me, just
in that like that makes it easier to understand, right,
if they're like they look like people, kind of that
(51:12):
people can understand, as opposed to like some creature from
a planet that is set up completely different and has
to set you know what, You know what I mean,
like a physical setup to be to be adapted to
that planet. Who knows if arms and legs is the
best you know what I mean? They got they they
got wheels, they got six dicks. We don't know what
they're on over there.
Speaker 3 (51:34):
Yeah, I don't hope they don't have six. That seems
like a lot to focus on.
Speaker 2 (51:38):
But but I don't know how their brains are built. Deal,
I'm a human being.
Speaker 3 (51:42):
I have limited perspective one with a dick, So yeah,
maybe six is the right number.
Speaker 1 (51:49):
Well then, because they could, like if you think of
the diversity of life on the planet Earth, and of
all the ways that animals on the creatures on Earth
exist move because like there's ocean planet, so everybody could
be in the water, right, there could be. There's like
(52:13):
Venus is a very gaseous planet, and so the interesting
thing about Venus is that a day on Venus is
longer than a year on Venus.
Speaker 2 (52:23):
So I don't understand it takes it takes.
Speaker 1 (52:30):
Longer for Venus to rotate once than it does for
it to go around the Sun. Oh. Interesting, So the
way we measure a day is one rotation of the Earth,
so it takes Venus like maybe, but it's not. It's
not huge. It's not like twenty days in the year.
It's like it's not a huge difference, but it's basically
(52:50):
almost the same. It takes about the same. So it's
like a it's like two hundred and sixty six days
to rotate with twenty sixty five days get around there
to get around the Sun. So it's also it's like
we're carbon based life forms, but if you look at
like the periodic table, there's so many other life forms,
Like there was like a whole thing on XBOS where
it was just like there were silicon based life forms,
(53:11):
you know what I mean. There's so many elements in
a periodic table. There's so many ways for a planet
to exist, like Jupiter. That big red spot on Jupiter
is technically like a hurricane, but it's three earths wide,
is how big it is, and so and that's been
swirling since we discovered other planets, so for us to
(53:36):
go and then certain planets have like a more gravity
or less gravity, like the Moon has less gravity. So
the way that we look is based upon our atmosphere
and our gravity and how we interact with our planet.
But if you have less gravity, then it's like people
go to space, they lose density in their bones. And
that's always the issue with astronauts. They lose bone density.
(53:57):
So it's just like if you have less gravity, you
bounce it around. So these niggas means because go the
other way.
Speaker 3 (54:03):
Yeah, Like here's that movie I was listening to day.
I was listening to a daily podcast not too long
ago where they were talking about astronauts going to space
and how like they're they're not actually like astronauts are
(54:24):
coming back essentially like sick and not not sick, but
just sort of less healthy than they were if they
stay too long in space, and it is sort of
like the now current concern that they have with like
can we sustain life outside of this planet because of
the loss of bone density, because of all the negative
(54:45):
effects that space sort of has on the body that
they weren't preparing for and don't really know how to
counteract just yet. And so to that point, to be
able to exist outside of this planet means that you
can't really be taking on a human form in the
way that we expect these things to look. And that's
really just us being ego maniacs and being like.
Speaker 4 (55:08):
I really look like me.
Speaker 2 (55:09):
I mean, that's but that's why it also feels like
it's fed down from the government, right, It's like that's
why it feels like it's a red herring, because why
would it be similar to us?
Speaker 1 (55:18):
But anyway, I also think that it's just like it's
not completely unfeasible that a biped movement isn't because it's
just like, I mean, right, like if you look like
you know, there's other animals that are bipedal, and it's
not a lot of animals, but that.
Speaker 4 (55:40):
It seems like the least effect.
Speaker 2 (55:41):
It does feel like the least effective, Like they don't
even know why we got bipedal, like why we stood
up right.
Speaker 1 (55:47):
And so, but because we stood up, we were able to,
you know, make TikTok. So it's like there's so many
things that got created just because of how our bodies are.
But like if we have stayed like if we have
stayed in that the evolution before us, where you're like,
if you look at how other animals evolved and how
other animals didn't evolve, like the horseshoe crab was the
(56:09):
least evolved animal on the planet, but then you look
at sharks, and sharks have survived multiple extinctions of other
like multiple mass extinctions, and they haven't evolved as much
as other animals.
Speaker 2 (56:22):
So yeahficient, that's an efficient body style, right.
Speaker 1 (56:28):
It's just like we did the thing and we in
the ocean.
Speaker 4 (56:31):
It works this year.
Speaker 3 (56:34):
I'm glad you brought up the ocean because part of
what I was sort of like curious about as we
were talking about this, if we're talking about aliens and
the ways that they take on different forms, is how
often we're discovering new species out of the fucking plant,
you know what I mean, the ocean specifically, and like
even just as of February twenty seventh of this year,
(56:57):
national geographic public articles talking about meet the newest walking fish,
a bright red creature out of Chile that basically is
like a red, tiny little motherfucker that walks on its
fins and it looks insane and silly and they're just
now finding that thing. And so the idea that that
(57:19):
may not have come originally from this planet seems just
as feasible to me as these ten foot alien things whatever,
you know what I mean that like our understanding of
it is we don't know, And that's sort of my
point is like we don't know where any of these
things come from, and so bipedal not bipedal, it all
(57:42):
seems like we're just making up stuff to comfort ourselves
more than actually like land on real evidence.
Speaker 1 (57:50):
When you look at science. Science was just like why
are we here? Let's start figuring shit out, because like
I always think about like I've always been interested in
herbalism because it's like because you've ever been to like
a Chinese herb shop or like one of those places
where it's just like, okay, this is what's wrong with
your body. We put these things together, boom, this will help.
(58:13):
But also it's hey, we put. But if poison ivy
touches you, it'll take you out. You can eat one
plant and get better, you can eat another plant and die, right,
and then this plant is food, but this plant ate food.
It's fruit, but you can't eat it. And so when
I when you look at just the diversity of plants,
and you look at the diversity of like different creatures
(58:34):
and we're still going to the bottom of the ocean
and finding all kinds of things. If Earth itself has
so much diversity that it only makes sense that off Earth.
But it's just like remember as a kid when you
learned about those like bioluliness and animals that that look ugly,
angler fish that they lily their bodies had to create
(58:55):
life so they could see other motherfuckers to eat them, right,
And it's like if if a species can adapt to
create light in the depths of the ocean, it's like,
you know, maybe there's some creature that just was like, listen,
I just want a baby fat jacket, And where am
I going to be able to get this? I just
(59:16):
want to see, like I know I'm another from another planet,
but these give bus I know, Okay.
Speaker 4 (59:25):
It's baby fat jacket. He goes head in hand.
Speaker 1 (59:27):
You know what that girl you know, maybe that's my mo.
Mom never got me a baby fat jacket because she
don't want me out here. I can like reckless cause
those girls always had liploss al the type party sail
and always got pregnant high school.
Speaker 2 (59:36):
Yeah, baby fat, baby fat is for fast women. Listen, Oh,
don't laugh like I'm saying something crazy. I'm enjoying the joke.
What do you want for me?
Speaker 4 (59:48):
Okay? But I can't laugh for you.
Speaker 2 (59:52):
You just want me to sit here and look dumb.
What do you want? That was funny.
Speaker 1 (59:57):
I want there to be I want I want there
to be a I want us to I think, But
I would say one I think is also ego, like
those are they they have those movies. Whenever they have
those movies, where's just like the aliens have come and
take over. I also think that's ego as well, because.
Speaker 2 (01:00:17):
Might be trash compared to other planets.
Speaker 1 (01:00:19):
But look what white but white people are writing those stories.
But look what their ancestors did when they found a
new place. They didn't try to cohabitate. They took the
fuck over. They didn't go, hey, what y'all doing over here?
We got on a boat, we got think we want
to fall with the eggs of fucking aren't kind of
find out it was mos niggas on the other side.
Oh yeah, we breathed and y'all died to just fucking
take y'all over. If you come from a group of
(01:00:39):
people who, as soon as they met another group of
people took the fuck over, then of course they're assumed
in the same way, like the ego, the ego of
being by you know, being a biped and standing up
straight and having those features. It's of course if new
motherfuckers get here, they want to take over if we have,
and take over take what we have. But I'm just like,
(01:01:02):
we could be an awful this could be we could
be a hood.
Speaker 2 (01:01:07):
We might be a hood. Yeah, planetary wise, we're killing it.
That's like a bad That's a bad sign.
Speaker 1 (01:01:14):
Earth is ghetto because if you think about it, if
I was an alien just off to looking at how
we treat each other and we know where motherfuckers come from,
I would be so afraid to tell humans that I
was here.
Speaker 4 (01:01:28):
Also, you come down here, the water's all dirty, the
air's all dirty. This shit is like Rockaway Beach.
Speaker 1 (01:01:34):
Bro and as someone who was taking that place and
I was afraid to. I wouldn't get my knees, I
wouldn't go past my thighs because I was worried about
getting that water on my hua.
Speaker 4 (01:01:45):
Oh yeah, don't fuck with city water.
Speaker 1 (01:01:47):
I'm literally not friends with the person anymore who took
us to that beach because I said where we wanted
to go, and we ended up there. There was a
pamper and a sandwich that floated past us, and I
was like, I am never gonna speak to you.
Speaker 4 (01:01:58):
Can you tell me that's not the hood in our
most famous city.
Speaker 2 (01:02:02):
That's the water. I hope i'n't related.
Speaker 3 (01:02:04):
I hope it was a sandwich and a pamper that
didn't know each other.
Speaker 2 (01:02:09):
That's my hope.
Speaker 1 (01:02:10):
I mean they did the scene related because one was
just wrapped because it was they were both wrapped up.
It was like a sandwich that was wrapped on the cellophane,
so it looks like someone lost their lunch. Literally like
not through it, but it's like, oh it got away
from it. A wave hit me on the sandwich is gone.
And then the other one was just a horrible individual
who threw a pamper into the ocean because it was
wrapped up like that.
Speaker 2 (01:02:32):
To that, I say, don't go into the ocean with
a sandwich.
Speaker 3 (01:02:36):
Yeah, I don't think you gotta do all that New
York sandwich.
Speaker 1 (01:02:39):
I'm just like where we put it, but it was
like wrapped on, like sitting on a piece of cellophane.
So it was like on a piece of sky refall,
then sandwich and then cellophane and then like a price tag.
Speaker 4 (01:02:50):
All that being said, ultimately, I think that there is
aliens and they don't want this trash ass plenty.
Speaker 1 (01:02:56):
Honestly, if I was aliens, I would walk like somebody
was like if they were, and they would roll their
windows up when they roll past Earth.
Speaker 3 (01:03:03):
I think if I could land this plane, I think
we're all in agreement that the aliens likely exist, and
they certainly exist in forms that we don't understand. We're
certainly there's a possibility of them existing in a form
that we don't understand, and certainly them appearing at the
mall in Miami is unlikely but not impossible. We don't
(01:03:27):
know enough to understand what their choices might be, and
we celebrate any aliens that might reveal themselves to us
in whatever form they may take.
Speaker 2 (01:03:35):
Is that is that fair to say? I think so.
Speaker 1 (01:03:38):
I would say, aliens, if you are listening to this podcast,
if you are going to reveal yourselves to any group
of people on the planet Earth, I don't recommend going
to the white people first.
Speaker 2 (01:03:49):
Hmmm, or second, or ever.
Speaker 3 (01:03:54):
Just for safety, let's make sure we decide who they
should go to first. Who do we think aliens objectively
should go to first of the various races on the planet.
And we can go by country, we can go by race.
It's it's your continent. Go okay, go to continent. Which
continent should aliens show up to first?
Speaker 2 (01:04:14):
You're like South America. That's just what my gut says.
Speaker 4 (01:04:18):
I don't even have a reason.
Speaker 2 (01:04:19):
I don't even have a reason, just what my gut said, Like,
if they just show up, it might't you peat you anyways.
Speaker 1 (01:04:24):
Yeah, honestly, I think one shout out to Polynesia and Melanesia,
because Melanesia is.
Speaker 4 (01:04:33):
Really on a place that was your first middle name, right.
Speaker 1 (01:04:37):
Yes, yes, Polynesia was my first middle name. And then
my mama was like, I don't fuck with Chick fil
A like that.
Speaker 4 (01:04:46):
That's a poor choice.
Speaker 1 (01:04:50):
I feel like if they went to like Polynesia first,
like your Tongua, your Fiji.
Speaker 4 (01:04:59):
They're already to ten feet.
Speaker 1 (01:05:00):
All first of all, already Easteride. You know, they already
know what we're dealing with, right, I think going to
them first. I think them first, and then like American
black people. Mmmm, I think, well that's the thing. Hold,
(01:05:22):
I didn't say no, I wouldn't recommend it.
Speaker 2 (01:05:26):
I'll be honest.
Speaker 3 (01:05:28):
I think I think Christian Jesus has gotten a hold
of us in a way that makes it real complicated.
Speaker 2 (01:05:34):
If aliens showed up.
Speaker 1 (01:05:36):
I'm gona, but this is what I have to say.
It's I really feel like that niggas will see them
and be like, yo, these white folks from murder them.
Let's just give them a second, a little because it's like,
it's not like we're gonna I'm not gonna say we're
not gonna be afraid of them, but I see what
we will do is take the time to go, listen,
let me tell you about these white folks because y'all
think y'all nobody watching. I'm not gonna say we can't
(01:05:58):
be dangerous. I'm saying we're the ones to best educate
them as to why they shouldn't be dealing with the whites.
And then it'd be like, Okay, now y'all got to
get the fuck up out of here, because my grandma said,
y'all can say so. I can't. When it comes to
letting them know what's really going on in this fucking planet,
I don't think so. Like the nice greeting polynesia, but like, okay, bitch,
(01:06:20):
let me tell you what the tea is, and nothing
but the tea. Honestly, I would tell you just get
the fuck off this planet. Bro, don't meet nobody else,
I respect, don't talk to nobody else.
Speaker 3 (01:06:31):
I think I do think we'll be great at warning them.
I don't necessarily know that we'll be great at assisting
them beyond the warning.
Speaker 1 (01:06:41):
No, no, we won't. We won't. We're going to tell
them here's the tea, get the fuck up out of here,
because we're all gonna murdy.
Speaker 4 (01:06:49):
I'm about to quit this job too. Like I think,
get us.
Speaker 1 (01:07:00):
The fuck up out of here, because I remember Baron
Vaughn's joke where we're just like the word like like
like all these racial slurs and be like, you know,
like you take an adjective and just put a nigga
behind it, right, and he was like, if we really
wanted the people to come together when the aliens come,
He's like, we could just band together and kill these
space niggas. And that's what they were called, aliens niggas.
(01:07:22):
It was an amazing joke. But yeah, we would warn
them and tell them to get the fuck on, and
then some of us would be like, can we come
to We don't want to be nigga. I'll lose my
bone density to get the fuck up out of this bitch.
I don't care.
Speaker 2 (01:07:35):
I gotta like where my bones are at.
Speaker 1 (01:07:37):
I didn't say I wanted to go. I said other
niggas would want to leave. But I think we would
warn them and then be like, Yo, don't talk to
nobody else on this planet, and they're going to anyway.
But I'd be like, Yo, get the fuck up out
of here, like this is a bad neighborhood.
Speaker 3 (01:07:52):
Well, I think we did it. I think we nailed this.
Do's they could you tell the people where they can
find you on what cool shit you got going on?
Speaker 1 (01:08:00):
So I'm on al Gore's Internet on dualsaysloan dot com
and then I was just hosting the Daily Show this week,
so you can catch up on that. And then I've
got my website Duelsaysloan dot com and on the tour dates.
And i have a lip gloss company with comedian Lace
Larabee called Yoggle Gloss. Well you can buy that. And
my book Hello Friends, Stories of Dating, Destiny and Day Jobs,
(01:08:23):
you can get at bookstores, you can get online, and
it's available on Audible. And I read my book.
Speaker 3 (01:08:29):
Hey, hell yeah, Bory, what you got cool?
Speaker 2 (01:08:33):
Got jokes eighty seven on Instagram. Go to patreon dot
com backslash David Bori for all things relating to my
new special. It's free, you know, got paid for the
Patreon Just come on. I got clips, I got interviews,
all kinds of stuff leading up to the release of
the special. Go check that out. Latch Royal Crackers on
Max and shout out to everybody out there five eight
(01:08:55):
and above, hey and below. Thank you so everybody.
Speaker 3 (01:09:02):
Yes, shouts to humans And as always, you can follow
me on iced Tea's Internet at legston Kerman. I'm happy
to meet you on all platforms. And if you want
to send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories,
if you want to prove to us that aliens have
(01:09:24):
shown up at your mall. Send it all to my
Mama pod at gmail dot com. You can get merch
at Mamma told me dot merch table dot com. Come
see us live May fifth. The dat is coming up soon.
Will be at the Comedy Store for Netflix. Is a
joke seven pm show, great guests, fun, silly time, shenanigans
(01:09:45):
all around, a bunch of shit talking and it'll be
fun and like subscribe, do all the things that you're
meant to do to make this podcast a thriving, successful,
poisonous thing that we push into your brains every week. Uh,
that's the whole shebang.
Speaker 1 (01:10:04):
By bitch, I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 2 (01:10:06):
Who'll say what?
Speaker 1 (01:10:07):
Blood on crip.
Speaker 5 (01:10:13):
The government babes, I grow chips in your names. All
Koala bears are racist. The whole stal layer, Hostle, money
and turkey stuff. I can't tell me govern
David's not going, my dearest Caroline. You ain't even know
what I'm writing, you know what you Honestly I could
see David going, My dearest CAROLINEA has been many moves.
Come on that last scene you, I can see that
for you. Pet with your notebook. Come on, letting your
thoughts and feelings get out.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
I'm not letting define Mee's is gonna come back fucked
up as well.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
I'm all right, yeah, coming back bitch that you got on?
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Rub your.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Bitch as hell.
Speaker 4 (00:38):
Girl, Damn, I need some in this.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
You know what make these bomb sounds go away? Pussy?
Speaker 1 (00:48):
You ain't never nobody like that.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
No, no, but some day.
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Ships in your.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
Qualitys are racist.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
The money.
Speaker 5 (01:17):
Turkey stuff I can't tell me.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
So we did a little deed deedy girl.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
There it is.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
There it is Ladies and gentlemen, welcome gentiles and little
Mama's a light to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Me, the podcast where we dive deep into the pockets
of black conspiracy.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Theory and we finally worked to prove that Master p
has introduced some of the longest and most successful untalented
niggas in the history of hip hop truly. Just his
family alone is maybe like the the most sustaining group
(02:02):
of just a talentless individuals.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
And we cherish him.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
We we we value each and every untalented person he's
brought into our life.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
I'm like Stin Gernman and I'm dreaming Bory and I
love Silk the Chaka. You love silt the Shaka.
Speaker 4 (02:17):
You said, as much as you can, as much as
you can.
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Listen, you can't love the Silta Shaker until the Silta
Shaka learns to love himself.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
I think he does.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
I think I think of any of that group, Silk
the Shaker is aware of what happened there. You think
he knew he was offbeat the whole time. I think
I think that he said, this is what I can
bring to it.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
I have a beanie and a dream.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Okay, sure, you know.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
I will say he did seem like the most positive
member of the Miller family.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Yes, I mean Murder.
Speaker 3 (02:56):
We all know Murder not necessarily a good guy. He's
sort of in the title.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was a fiend guy. If
that's a surprise to anyone who you don't remember fiend.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I don't remember I'll be honest.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yeah I never Yeah, yeah he didn't.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
He didn't do a lot of name worthy stuff.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
He was.
Speaker 4 (03:22):
He was good.
Speaker 3 (03:26):
Yeah, I think I think, frankly the most talented person
they came out of the No Limit camp.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
That was birth out of the No Limit camp. Was
was mystical and touring history.
Speaker 3 (03:36):
I was about to say, boy, oh boy, is that
not a guy you want to dig too deep into
on the internet.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
But weren't we all loaned No Limit soldiers? Weren't we all?
Speaker 4 (03:47):
We were all No Limited soldiers?
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Of course I told you, yeah, so much arm.
Speaker 4 (03:54):
Come on, you know what My favorite No Limit song
was the Montel Jordan Let's Ride remix with Master P.
You don't remember that, No, you don't remember Let's Ride.
I think Let's Ride to Night. Can't do it without it?
You love this about it, but you don't remember that song.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
I remember about it, about it? I remember ice cream
Man was my favorite. Have you ever heard have you heard?
The song that ice creamn is sample song.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
The ice Cream Truck song.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
No No Negro. The song ice cream Man is sampled
from a song called turn Out the Lights.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
The Teddy Pendagrash song No.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
It's a song. I think it's called Record Crew. Is
the name of the people who do the original song,
the world Record Crew? Yeah, I think so. With Doctor
Dre No no no, no, no no. The Callum is a
different record crew, which is there were two Doctor Dres.
But the chorus of the song is this lady going
before you turn out the lights, Let's get one thing understood. Yeah, yeah,
(05:00):
I love that song.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
I haven't heard this song crazy.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
The dude Romeo that comes on at the end, he's
not rapping or singing.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
I like that.
Speaker 3 (05:11):
And this isn't This isn't iMX Romeo.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
This is a compassive.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
This is a complete We have a lot of Romeos.
Speaker 4 (05:20):
You do you call them iMX or do you call
him immature?
Speaker 2 (05:23):
If?
Speaker 3 (05:24):
I think in my heart they're still immature, but out
of respect, I didn't want to dead name them, so
I gave them i MX to honor.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
I mean, even one of the ones that Brandy blinded.
Is that what you're.
Speaker 4 (05:36):
Saying, I mean, if we're going to start in yes, I.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Mean, never forget she killed somebody.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
I've never forgotten.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
I don't think she forgot either.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
If that makes you feel better, I think that that
sort of keeps her awake fair amount of night, n.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Goes to sleep with no problem.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
That young lady is doing.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Just Brady hasn't slept since early two thousand. Kateles sleep heavy.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
You've already heard our guest voice today. She's she's a
returning contributor to our podcast. We we call our guest
contributors now because of the important work.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
That we're doing.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
She's she's hilarious. You know her from a lot of shit.
You know her from from Comedy Central, you know her
from Netflix, you know her from the Daily Show, and
most importantly, you know her from her book. She has
a book, a very hilarious book. Let me get the
title right. I don't want to fuck this up. Hello friends,
Stories of dating, destiny and day jobs. She's wonderful. She's
(06:41):
a dear friend. Give it up for Dulce.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Sloan Nigerian African. I'm a sister, Okay.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
I can tell you loved your drop. I can tell
just off of your reaction. You really love what David
pick for you.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
That's what Jo specifically. I wouldn't do that to other people.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
No, no, listen, David knows I can take it. Yeah, exactly,
David knows I can take it. And uh, anybody saying
I'm are we still sisters? Are we still doing this?
Speaker 2 (07:19):
You mean colloquially?
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Yeah, are sisters and brothers? You know he's a brother.
Speaker 3 (07:25):
I feel weird about saying that now that there are
Tyler Perry programs calling that.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
So, oh there's a sisters and yeah he got both lockdown.
Speaker 1 (07:38):
I'm just waiting for Tyler Perry to just go full
Ted Turner and just have a chance own network.
Speaker 4 (07:43):
Yeah, yeah, happened.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
I think Tyler Perry network's coming soon.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
It Oprah has her own network. What's stopping Tyler Perry
from TPN.
Speaker 4 (07:52):
They'll finally bring back the game.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
Bro, they would bring back the game.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
Well, you know they brought it back.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
It's brought back soeveral times.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Yeah, they they had it on Paramount.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
I think I watched every episode.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Did you?
Speaker 4 (08:08):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:08):
I did, and you enjoyed it?
Speaker 1 (08:10):
I sure did.
Speaker 4 (08:12):
I like the game. We got to get you on
the game, like you would be in there.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
I think a younger me could have been on the game.
I think intended to be a football player.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
No, no, no, you it would have been like an
agent or something. Yeah, you would have been.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
You ain't telling them to a football player.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
Baby girl, All them niggas is five six. Let's not
get confused about the the artists.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
Friend friends, I said tall, but we know I meant
something else.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
You would have been Tasha Max's new love interest. You
could have you would would.
Speaker 5 (08:51):
Have been.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
You could have been Yeah, you could have fought Pooky.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
That would have been nice.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
It would have been nice. Yeah, nice little, I said tall,
because I didn't want to just respect you on your
own podcast.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
You know what I day, Someday I'll get buff and
and that's okay. I'll get buff, I'll get I'll get darker.
Speaker 4 (09:09):
And you should wait around till you could get that.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (09:13):
Would that bandman Kevin get the hebl he be e
b o.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
I would like a hebl. I think that'd be what's
happening men are getting. It's also what Rick Ross is
accusing Drake of having gotten. And yeah, we're trying to
get likes and snatched.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
Thirty too.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Men have been getting their abs lightbode for years, so
this is nothing.
Speaker 3 (09:46):
Yeah, but it's more than just getting abs lightbode. Now there.
They are taking the fat from the middle and turning
it into titty meat that like it's almost, yeah, converted
into like muscle. They're and then like backshit, they're like
doing a lot to basically reframe their bodies into something,
(10:06):
which is why Rick Ross said, you're running around here
with twenty five percent body fat with abs that math
ain't checking out.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Uh he basically a huge strake of it.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
I don't know how much body fat you need to
have abs. I always don't have had too much to
have them.
Speaker 4 (10:20):
I never looked it up.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
It's way less than twenty five percent.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
I assure, Yeah, it got to be like points something, right.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
I think you're you gotta be like less than like
ten to be able to pull off abs in any
real way.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
Oh, you got to be close. Then what are you?
Speaker 2 (10:38):
Eleven?
Speaker 4 (10:38):
Twelve?
Speaker 2 (10:39):
No, I don't know. I'm not about to do that
in front of you.
Speaker 4 (10:42):
I don't want to. I don't want to make you up.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Really skinny dudes with no abs though.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Right, because their body fat is it's always a confusing
thing when you see a skinny due you're like almost
white person.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Well there's so I mean, they're so skinny and just
like there could have been an AB here if you
like just did a little bit more. But some of
them are skinny enough to have. It's like there's the
abs with no definition, like just oh, this is just
how a body is.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
So very weak, and we should we should make space
for that in our society.
Speaker 1 (11:16):
No, we shouldn't weak adult man, there's so many we
need a draft.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
What we need to draft here first, Georgia.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
I want some of them army men's no, no, no, no,
we need to weed these fuckers out. That's why I
said we need a draft. Listen, we're out here breeding
with the worst right now.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Understand am I to understand that the draft is to
send the weak ones to war?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
What do we drafting them to? So the weak ones.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Go to war and never really die and not even
the ones stay and breed with you?
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Is that the plan? Not just not everybody, it's not
even a real war. They're going to go fight a
proxy war for it somewhere.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Made war since the seventies constantly, so just like this
is a problem. We are letting just too many. There's
so many weak ones in the gene pool. And I
know this might sound like eugenics, but that's exactly.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
What I think.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
This might just be eugenics.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
List if you can, I'll tell you this, If you
can make it through a war, then that means that
you're giens. Because it's like you think about it, every
other species on the planet, the males have to show
some type of even bears, even fish, the little little
fish that make little geometric patterns to attract a mate,
(12:45):
to show that they're better than other males. So every
other species, the males have to do something to show
that they are the best.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Well, that's why, that's why some of us are week
in peacock on stage.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
We stand up.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Yeah, I think you're forgetting that a few of us
have learned to trick women in different ways and that
should be celebrated as well.
Speaker 2 (13:11):
War doesn't. War doesn't do that justice.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
So you think they don't know who.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
Y'all are.
Speaker 3 (13:21):
Us, I pray to God that that they don't, because
that's the scam that I'm trying to run.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
For the rest. Inside.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
Outside, I'll be I'll be all right.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Inside outside.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Yeah, me, those say he wants to send me and
you the war, I don't. I don't love it, but no,
I hate it.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Listen, there's no way I know for I know y'all
for long enough to know that y'all are coming back.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
That's the nicest thing maybe you've said in the entire
twelve years we known each other.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
I don't because I told you your alligator joke is
still to this day one of my favorite jokes. It's nice.
Speaker 4 (14:00):
That's not as nice as say it.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
I won't war, you dot, you won't die.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
You won't die. Like the Weekly French.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
Staring at a picture of a lady who you have
to write letters to.
Speaker 1 (14:14):
Oh man, but when no one's writing letters, you just
checked it a bitch. Hey you up, I'm in the trenches.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
You're right back.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yeah, I was up like eight days ago.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
No, we can't keep talking about war in the trenches.
We we have a wonderful conspiracy that you came to us,
del say, you presented one that.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
We argued a lot about.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
Yeah, we've had multiple arguments about whether or not this
has actually come up on the podcast. Bory firmly believes
that it has come up. I firmly believe it hasn't.
No evidence shows that it has come up.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
But listening to your own podcast, yeah, well.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
We don't do that. You know what, I think I
think that I might have just talked to dose about
it in hindsight.
Speaker 4 (15:00):
That's I said that last night.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
I think I just I think remember when we were
playing Uno till so late in the morning in Minneapolis.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
I think we were talking about it then.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
That could have been it, because yeah, because you were like,
you're from Miami in Atlanta, what do you think about this?
And I was like, it's perfectly feasible what they were.
I think.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
Listen, Okay, before before you get to it, let's introduce
it to our listeners.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
You said, my mama told.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Me the Miami mom had eight foot aliens. Well she
was like eight and ten. It was big, you know, Lincoln,
They wasn't There wasn't four feet you know what I mean.
It was big as aliens.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
I feel like you're coming at me.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
I don't know. I'm not four feet, but it feels
like you're saying that to me.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
And I don't know what to tell you about that.
I don't know how to make you feel better about
the situation.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
But I'm six two. I'm fine with it. You six too,
don't worry about it. My man is six too. I'm
all of mine. Nah. No, Actually I had to get
measured because I bought a bike oof a nigga been lying, man,
is what I found out.
Speaker 3 (16:17):
Oh you've you've been telling people you were taller than you.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
Are significantly damn and not even on some shit.
Speaker 2 (16:24):
I just truly did not know because I didn't have
health insurance for the longer.
Speaker 4 (16:28):
I just really didn't know.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
I just so you thought you were six feet tall.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
No, I thought I was five to ten.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
You're not, no. Five eight.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Listen, I'm five four. So everybody's taller than man.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
See that's my problem with this. All you don't even
know it's all the different. What's the difference?
Speaker 4 (16:45):
I do?
Speaker 3 (16:45):
I do get frustrated with that, where like there'll be
somebody who clearly doesn't know what five eleven is, being
like you ain't five eleven. It's like, baby girl, what
are we talking about.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
I'm gonna tell you this. I'm gonna tell you it
is sixty tall. It is looking real different on a
lot of different niggas. I'm gonna tell you that.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
I mean somebody who was lying about it. Though, I
do feel it because I really it was, like I said,
I was. I just assumed five to ten because I
would be like around six foot tall people and I'd
be like, I'm not that much shorter than them. Mm
hmmm hmm.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Well, if nobody believes that I'm five four, that's what
I think is the How tall are you?
Speaker 4 (17:22):
I'm five for no one believes you're pretty little?
Speaker 1 (17:25):
That's what I mean. I thought it was like a
nice I'm a lady's eye.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
But how tall are you?
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Like I'd say five ten to five eleven, depending on
who's asking.
Speaker 4 (17:36):
That feels right?
Speaker 2 (17:37):
See, and do I feel that much shorter than you?
Speaker 3 (17:39):
You're shorter than me for sure.
Speaker 6 (17:40):
I realized I wasn't. I'm not gonna put that on it.
That feels like in.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
An attack and I'm not trying to do all that.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
But but no, I'm shorter than everybody. Like. No one's
like like they were like, oh, I thought you were
taller than this, So I'm like, no, I'm just like
I think maybe because of my afro, people might think
I'm taller.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
I watched a video pretty recently of a dude who
was showing up with like measuring tape at the at
like the gym that's asking dudes to say how tall
they were, and then he checked. And it was hard
to watch for a lot of men who were like
I'm six two and then he'd measure them and they
were like five ten Oh nah good, And they were
(18:30):
having a hard time with it, like it wasn't they
weren't laughing at off.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
It wasn't funny.
Speaker 3 (18:35):
A bunch of the men refused to let themselves be measured.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
It got weird, bro, That's why I'm glad I got
that bicycle.
Speaker 4 (18:42):
Man, I'm not.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
I was never trying to be a tall personality guy.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Well. I remember, like I had a joke during COVID that, uh,
when they had that like six foot distancing. I said, yeah,
I was walking down the street with my homeboys and
I saw the six foot stickers and I'm just like, hey, man,
lay down for a second. I'm trying to figure something out. Basically,
it was like, cause like this six feet six feet
on the ground and six feet standing up. It don't
seem to be the same six feet to me. So
(19:07):
I'm just want to be like, hey, bro, laid out
right quick. I'm trying to figure I'm trying to see
something and see if this six feet is really six.
Speaker 3 (19:13):
Feet unrelated these eight to ten foot tall aliens.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Let me tell you something.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
This is why I think it makes sense to me.
One if I was an alien, right, yeah, because they
keep going to places like it was crop circle nonsense
and all this other stuff. And it's like they keep
going on like Iowa, Kansas and like putting patterns in
these fields. I think this is that new younger generation
of aliens. Just like listen, I don't want to be
out here in no field with no patterns this. So
(19:43):
I don't know why we was doing this. They don't
know what it means. The humans ain't figured it out yet.
What all we were saying was hey, row was good,
or how y'all doing? Or heystock destroying your planet with
climate change. We would trying to talk to them. They
don't get it, so we need to come to them
to where they're at. What's the place that won people
would slight believe, Like if you said aliens in la
you're like aliens in Atlanta, I'm like, we already got
(20:05):
at aliens on bank, like we don't need this. But
if someone's like aliens in Miami, I was like, yeah,
I didn't make sense to.
Speaker 4 (20:11):
Me because I'm not following.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Well, here's the thing, what's the wildest place. Well, because
there's a few places where people would be like yeah,
that's so crazy it could happen in Miami. I feel
like it's that place where it's just like yo, because
you said, like aliens in Vegas, aliens in Miami. You'd
be like, it's so nuts that that maybe fit because
(20:36):
it's even like because what's the place from, just like
what's places where like someone could be like in a
wild costume. Right.
Speaker 4 (20:43):
See.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
That's why I feel like LA makes sense to me
because like I feel like people in Miami are just fine.
They're not like crazy looking.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
No, they're not crazy looking, but I'm saying it's just
like that's what I'm saying, this hot new young aliens like, right,
I don't want to keep putting these messages in these
fiels because they don't get it right. Let's just go
outside and see what's going with what are the kids doing?
That's why I mean I was just like yeah, because
if you just feel like, oh, there was aliens in
(21:12):
the mall in Utah, I'd be like, no, that's down right,
was not interesting.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
I think it may be helpful to frame this up
a little bit for our listeners that there is a
video that circulated.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
What was this Like, I want to say it's.
Speaker 3 (21:30):
Two thousand, oh two thousands.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
It was earlier this year.
Speaker 3 (21:34):
It was January. Earlier this year, a video circulated of
what appeared to be giant aliens walking down a pathway
outside of the mall while police were sort of like
all circled around it. This is the video we all saw,
I think of like police.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
So he didn't talk about this.
Speaker 4 (21:56):
Yeah, I guess if.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
It was January this year, maybe it was a maybe
when I was doing a podcast or something. I don't know.
So the videos them outside Miami Dade is outside.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
And they're walking, strolling, I would say, very casually, walking
as police circle, tons of police cars, tons of police
cars circling these giant alien looking creatures, and uh, the
everybody is speculating as to whether or not these are
real aliens or AI or some sort of combination of
(22:29):
both or kids.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Zenoan's thought that it was just like people in costumes,
like on a Jim Henson situation on a industrial light
and magic fucking the Walt Disney of it all, like
no one like a costume wasn't the next thing.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
I think it probably was speculated. I do think we've
moved out of a place culturally of practical props, and
that's disappointing.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
I think cgi FU the whole shit up.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
I think CG I really fucked it up so that
we don't even think about practical being an option any more.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
And I saw it coming as soon as I saw
Deep Blue Sea, I said, we're doomed.
Speaker 4 (23:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Here's the thing. Like when I goot of that new
Jurassic Park movie that he was just looking at dots.
I was like, damn, ain't no animatronics, no more, No,
what happened that those people used to eat? Bro? They
was really out here.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
It was all practical effects.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
Yeah, it was really Park is still fucking kind of
scary because they had real you know, practical.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Somebody had to put teeth in a motherfucker's head. Bro. Yeah,
dinnisaur somebody to make a little thing with the fans.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
So that's the one they recorded originally.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Wait before we go, Before we go to Break, I
think we should decide who here believes in aliens absolutely.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
I definitely believe in aliens.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
Okay, same, so we're all on the same page.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Yeah, I think it would be foolish, frankly to even uh.
I think anybody who doesn't even kind of believe in
the possibility of life outside of this planet is a
goddamn idiot.
Speaker 4 (24:16):
Yeah, that's why I agree it's too big.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Now, whether or not they're coming to this planet is
more up for debate, but yes, but we ain't alone
in this universe. Stupid And if you say otherwise, I
hate you.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Well it's interesting because it's like people like, there's the
there's the you know, excuse people say like, well, you know,
as a Christian, you know, I don't believe that, like
there's aliens. I was like, but as a Christian, you
should like, what do you mean? I was like, if
God is so powerful it created the heavens and the
Earth in the entire universe, why would you limit God's
(24:53):
power to just one planet when the universe is so
big and there's thousands of planets. You think he only
did this one time.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
I'm saying it's a space thing I don't even know about.
I'm just saying it's a space thing. With all the space,
why would it just why would he make all these
other shit to just make life on this place? It
doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
Yeah, I've often equated Christianity to like those niggas who
ain't never left their neighborhood, like like you believe all
that stuff because you ain't never left Chicago.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
But there's the best the world.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
It's like, yeah, maybe if you ain't been nowhere.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
But that's always interesting to me because they said, like
most people live within a fifty mile radius of where
they were born. And I'm just like, oh, I've been
to forty six states, forty five states, So it's just
an odd thing because it's just like but then I
have to think about there's the other side of it
where it's like when you start thinking about how big
the universe is, it can break your brain sometimes. So
(25:57):
like if there was a Neil de grasse tysan show Netflix,
and he was saying like, if you take how old
the universe is then human beings and you and you
equate it to a calendar, a twelve month calendar, then
the existence of human beings is like the last minute
of the last day. It's like eleven fifty nine if
(26:20):
you put the entire existence of the universe on a
twelve month calendar. And I was watching it and I
was like, Nope, I'm a smart person. I didn't suck
it need that, and they made it.
Speaker 4 (26:30):
I think not really, I find it comforting.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Well, it's like because a dinosaur is like the last hour,
and I'm like, meh, what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Is that actual.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
It doesn't have to do in a day. But like
if you think too much about how big things are,
it's just like yeah, but I still want to eat
a sandwich later, So like it's all right, you know,
I still got to get my brother some moramen when
I get back to La So because I so like
the universe is massive, you know, you're just you're full
(27:01):
of star stuff and you know in the big spectrum
of the thing, and aliens are coming and trying to
buy Jordan's But because how big with their feet.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
At least fifteen they're ten feet, they're I think they're
heading into the shacks. They got to be like twenty two's.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
And yeah, because I'm six foot and I got a program.
I love the motherfucker telling us these five ages and.
Speaker 3 (27:28):
Then turning till six feet within moments. Brilliant, brilliant.
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Wait, you were telling people you were six foot when
you lived in the house.
Speaker 4 (27:40):
I thought it was five ten.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
Okay, you lived with Marcella and Solomon for a very
long time.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
All my friends are tall. I'm fucking sick of that ship.
There's the other thing about it. I'm sorry for yelling.
It's just like the other thing about it is you
start hanging out with these six four sixty five freaks, Nna,
you lose yourself in it. You lose yourself. All you
know is that you're down there and nobody even cares.
(28:07):
Nobody even cares. What's the difference, what's the difference between
five and seven and five eleven? If you your fucking
best friends are six foot four? I got I got
four friends six foot four, good ones. Well, I'll say this.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
When we come back, we are going to find out
if whether or not David was in fact living with
those big ass aliens in the Miami Mall or Solomon, Georgia.
And we're gonna take a break. We're gonna be back
with more Ma Mama told me, and more Dulce Slum.
(28:45):
We're calling upon you because we have we have new merch.
We have very exciting merch that we are now selling
and it's it's fucking great.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
We love it so much.
Speaker 4 (28:57):
Just sleek, it's sexy.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
On you want to tell them what we have? Yeah,
we have three different types of hats, which is really fun.
We have a two tone hat, an alien dad hat,
the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we have
the enamel pen with the alien who has a koofie
on it since my mama told me. And then we
have t shirts that say proud little Mama, which is.
Speaker 4 (29:19):
Who you are.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
Yeah, you can buy the merch now, go to my
mama told me dot merch table dot com. It's a
brand new name, but it's the same old merch and
we would love for you to get some if you
haven't got it already, and we want you to have
all the sweet stuff, so get it.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
King Kong ain't got on me. We are back, not
talking about King Kong, but another mythical beast. We're talking
about the aliens in Miami with those sloan Okay.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
When this news comes out, don't say you obviously are
tracking it. You're from Miami. Emmy, you see this, do
you immediately believe? Do you start to say, I know
you're saying that there is a real possibility, but how
much of this are you like fully bought into? Are
you just like having fun with the joy of like
(30:15):
playing the game?
Speaker 1 (30:16):
I believe it so quick. I didn't even do further research.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
That's what we like to hear on this podcast.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
I saw just a little bit in that video and
that was like sustained, and I just went on. I
was like, yeah, accurate, sounds right. Why I was like,
I said, why wouldn't they go to Miami?
Speaker 2 (30:36):
I think everybody should go to Miami once.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
Oh, believe me, I've been, and it's it's a I've been.
I used to live there, I was born there, and
it's a great place to visit. It's not an amazing
place to live. It's been hard to get a job
since Hurricane Andrew, so since Clinton was in office to
spend It's already be rich to live there. So, and
you have to speak at aspect. It's why I speak Spanish.
(30:58):
It's because I learned it in school.
Speaker 4 (31:00):
But she was from some island nation.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
I'm black.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Uh yeah, I thought I thought your mama was Puerto Rican.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
I thought, like Dominic, I thought you were from a
Spanish speaking place.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
My mama had a Cuban friend named Dulce when she
went to hair school.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
I assumed I assumed your middle name was le I didn't.
Speaker 4 (31:22):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did think it had something.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
To do with the kid.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
My middle name was Lazaria. That's I don't know what
to make La is the feminine virsion of Lazarus.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
Okay, yeah, I believe you. Oh, like.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
From the Bible.
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Yeah, yeah, they came back from the day right.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Yes, she's a resurrected here.
Speaker 4 (31:45):
And then my mom was like, what if he was
a girl?
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Well, my aunt came my I never know that was
the thing. My aunt gave me my middle name. But
when I was first, when they first named me, my
name was flipped. So originally my first name was lazarre
Ye and my middle name was Dulcer. And then my
mother changed it, and then she changed it and then
she and the last time she changed it, she had
how it is now And the nurse was like this,
(32:10):
you have to like put a birth figare or a typewriter.
And I talked about it in the book and the
nurse was like, I'm not coming back up here with
this typewriter. So this is your daughter's name.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Whoa, whoa.
Speaker 1 (32:20):
So if she'd have put her foot down just one
time before, my name would have been Lazaria Dulcir.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
Shout out to those typewriter birth certificates for looking fake
as hell. Bro, my ship looks my ship looks not
real for counter fit. Okay, bro, my ship is oriented
fucking long way. It's not landscape portrait. It's portrait and
it just says father's birthplace Africa, Mother's I swear I
(32:53):
got it because my mom said it to me in
the mail. Because you know, I ain't have I D
for like four years, and then you got to get
a birth certificate to get your ID back.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
ID for four years.
Speaker 4 (33:01):
Okay, that's not what this is about.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
No, nigga, you are a black man walking around with
no ID for four years.
Speaker 4 (33:09):
Lee, I don't like to have it on me now.
Speaker 2 (33:11):
The point is that I got my birth certificate and
I was like, Mommy, this this can't be real, right.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
I will say it does make me feel a little
bit of nostalgia for eighties style racism where you could
just be like Africa. Yeah, we don't get that kind
of good, clean racism that was peer straight from the
earth racism.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Like I had friends who were like I think, friends
that had they born Maybe like, if that's the case
that anyone who had friends like born like so your
parents are say like Mexico, or like you're or some
ship like that.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Yeah. No, I think they would have done countries in
other places they would have I think they would have
said Italy.
Speaker 4 (33:54):
I think because it was Africa, they.
Speaker 3 (33:56):
Just said, yeah, yeah, we're like two weeks out from
doing that now, you know what I mean, Like, we're
just now treating those nations like they're different.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
Yeah. Yeah, A bunch of people found out about Ghana. Yeah,
truly Ghana changed the game.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
No, because it was just Nigeria for the whole of
my life, and I was like, y'all could come for
free Nigeria South Africa.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
And that's what I was gonna say. Those were the
Those were the big ones. But Ethiopia was mostly just
for jokes. It was only a bit. We weren't even
I didn't.
Speaker 3 (34:39):
I didn't even realize they were so fucking bad in
Ethiopia because we were just calling them little hungry boys
my whole life. And then I saw an Ethiopia woman.
I was like, these are the baddest human beings. They're
the PLAUTI what are we making fun of here?
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Well, the other wild part is that we never think
about Egypt as being like we think of Egypt mean
born in Africa. But other people, well, it's well one
was so crazy.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
I don't think egypt that either.
Speaker 4 (35:08):
They're like they're going to be Middle Eastern. They're like,
we're basically Arabs.
Speaker 1 (35:14):
I mean, I know a lot of y'all are over there.
But but the thing is because like there's a guy
that I know is so there's a like an agent
or mandra I know, and so his family's Egyptian and
I'm just saying it because he was talking about it.
I was like, he's saying, it's crazy that like technically
he's African American, yeah, but also technically Charlie Starhin is
African American. Yes, yeah, But she's smart enough not to
(35:37):
ever talk about it.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
And I praise she doesn't. I hope for her the.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
Day she does is the day where it's just like, well,
I think she's made jokes about it, certainly, but I
hope she never genuinely comes out and it's like as
an African American. But the one time there was some
award show and it was just like she won an
award and they said something about her being like the
first African to win X award, and I think everybody
(36:02):
went what she was kind of.
Speaker 4 (36:03):
Like a B E T Award too.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
I'm not showing to listen, Charlie.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
Bro I've got a n double a CP. I got
two ACP Awards, and them ceremonies are interesting.
Speaker 4 (36:21):
I'll say that, is it better than other ceremonies.
Speaker 1 (36:25):
I'll say that I've been to the Emmys like four
or five times and they've never had a cash bar.
Speaker 4 (36:34):
Hmm. God damn it a c and it.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
Was and it was spawned. And what was so crazy
about it being a cash bar is that they had
this big sign thing that it was sponsored by American
Airlines because if you remember American, so at one point
the NAACP had put a travel advisory against American airlines,
You're saying that black people shouldn't travel on American And
then a year later American Airlines was like, we gave
(37:00):
you niggas a bar. Oh, but only at like the
non televised part of the ceremony. And it was a
cash bar.
Speaker 2 (37:10):
Luckily, it was also sponsored by Contour Ludacris's Kognac for
free produce.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
And Buzzball sponsored the god damn it, no, that's.
Speaker 3 (37:24):
Not for real went on and drink Buzzball or used
to drink buzzballs.
Speaker 4 (37:29):
Don't do that. I didn't used to drink buzzballs. I've
had buzzballs because they used to sell them.
Speaker 2 (37:35):
On Spirit when Spirit first came out. That's how you
had a buzzball. Was flying a Spirit Airlines flight. All right,
everybody's so great, everybody's so rich that everybody so everybody
so rich on this podcast. All right, excuse me for living.
Speaker 3 (37:53):
I'm wait a minute, let's be clear. I'm not judging
trying a buzzball.
Speaker 2 (37:58):
We all have. I'm not judging flying Spirit. We all had.
The combinations is fucking nuts.
Speaker 4 (38:07):
It was.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
I've not had a buzzball, nor have I bet on Spirit.
Speaker 2 (38:13):
Well, well that's that's what you did.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
You die?
Speaker 2 (38:17):
Yeah, breaking, Might we fan you with our big ass leafs?
Speaker 5 (38:28):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (38:29):
Oh yeah, I'm sorry, Queen.
Speaker 3 (38:31):
Never had hurried up of us have had to get
to pussy quick fast and.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Shirts.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
I'm trying to get to Houston for twenty six dollars.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
Bory, you were writing Spirit to get the pussy.
Speaker 2 (38:53):
No, no, I think I was. I'm pretty sure I
flew to cleveling, which, now when I say the whole
story out loud, this motherfucker was going to Cleveland. He
said the steartess, do they call you that on Spirit?
Bring me your finest buzzball? No, because what it happened
(39:16):
was it was early Spirit and I paid. If you
paid like forty bucks, you could get the front seat
in Spirit, and it's a bigger seat. It's like a
first first class seat. So I was like, shit, I'm
up here, and uh yeah, they have buzzballs on there. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:32):
Then I called fight and you just go, hey, bitch, skyhor.
Speaker 2 (39:52):
Shitty liqueur you could offer me. I need something to
wash down the compliment you get?
Speaker 1 (40:04):
What do you what do you pair with these hot fries?
Speaker 4 (40:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (40:07):
Keep in mind alone, is there a drink you have
that's gonna make me scratch my neck incessantly for the
next two hours?
Speaker 1 (40:18):
So when I stopped pedaling to keep the playing the
sky to quench my thirst.
Speaker 3 (40:28):
So, uh, it is worth noting as it relates to
these eight to ten feet aliens, is that the conspiracy
was almost immediately denied. The Miami police sort of came
forward saying that this was the antics of a bunch
of children, a bunch of juveniles, several juveniles, as it's quoted,
(40:52):
and Forbes did a write up on it were arrested
for basically it seems like having like a mass brawl
at the mall and that's what caused all the people
to run. That's what caused all the police to show up.
They got in this big ass fight. And the footage
is said of these aliens walking is actually said to
(41:13):
be just two to three police officers walking towards the
arrested individuals and not these large aliens they suggest them
to be.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
So the smoke what distorted? Maybe, so it was just
like because they were like setting off fireworks and all
kinds of shit. Yeah, So is it like the smoke
and the fire Is it like just distortion of like
light and like fireworks smoke or whatever. So it's just
like casting long shadows.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
Yeah, it's a pretty low quality video.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
It's at night, and it's from a substantial distance, and
I think they say that basically it's the eyes tricking
you into seeing ten feet aliens eight to ten, which
I don't even know how from that distance we're landing
on the numbers that we're landing on.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
But the cop cars, right, that's probably how they.
Speaker 3 (42:05):
Yeah, but like they're not next to them, next to them,
at least from the video I saw.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
See one, I saw some at eight, and then another
article said saw ten. So I'm just like two feet
is a fucking line.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a lot of cop cars and obviously,
like whoever is walking looks larger than you know what
you would expect a regular person to look like that said,
They're saying it's multiple people and it's just shadows and
weird sort of like distortion.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
I mean, I think it's crazy that they're talking about this, Like,
I mean, one who doesn't know people who have gotten
into a brawl at a mall. It's very much like
a green Eggs and hand like, well, we all have
friends who got in a fight or got in too
a brawl technically.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
All yeah, I don't even guy who used to go
to the mall to fight m he went prison later.
Speaker 4 (43:02):
How's he doing now?
Speaker 2 (43:03):
Though, actually he came out.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
How is he?
Speaker 2 (43:11):
No?
Speaker 4 (43:11):
I mean he can't. He got out and then he
came out.
Speaker 2 (43:13):
Oh okay, he was doing well.
Speaker 4 (43:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
But then I think back to his behavior back then,
and I think that it feels like there was like
some frustration with the world, like because to be eighteen
nineteen and his dad was a cop, and to be
that young to be like let's go to the mall
and fuck people up, you know what I mean. It
just felt like maybe he was fighting.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
He did to put it, I'm sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I think honestly, I was thinking about that the other day,
just like growing up, like there weren't a lot of
openly gay kids at my high school and then like no,
and I went a very like diversary mixed high school,
and then I was thinking recently like there's so many
(43:56):
kids now that get to not only openly be gay,
but like date and go to like and have date
and go to prom and and it's just like it's honestly,
it makes me like so happy because I think about
for so long people like hot. I'm not going to
say like too much. Was also just like I think
it's also good for other people to see in the
same way, just like we look at de sagregation or
(44:18):
women getting rights and all this other stuff. It's like
it makes everybody better when other people can get right.
It just has to be like just all these things
that all of the anger and stuff and like because
that guy had that anger and he would go out
and fight, and then that would affect other people's lives.
Speaker 4 (44:34):
Oh so light skinning.
Speaker 1 (44:35):
So some of it was innate, y'all, y'all, y'all, listen, listen.
Speaker 3 (44:42):
Nobody today. I was minding my goddamn business. We did
a whole episode we made peace, and here you come.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
I was being peace.
Speaker 1 (44:57):
I've always said what he was like light skin dudes.
I've always thought it was like, light skinned dudes are
weak and dark skinned women are aggressive. Okay, always, That's
what I'm saying as a stereotype. I'm saying the stereotype
that there is light skin dudes are weak and dark
skinned women are aggressive. I think this is a wild
(45:19):
ass stereotype. And I'm like, I want, like, if you
talk about my mama told me I would know where
these two things came from. For somebody acting real light skin.
We never apply this to women, and then dark skinned men.
We don't see. It's like there's not this stereotype around
because there's no stereots around lights. Like the stereos type
(45:39):
around light skin women is that they're uppity and that
they're fougie. And then but I don't know what world
stereotype there is arend like dark skinned men.
Speaker 2 (45:49):
Sensitive dark skin man, I'm just trying to fly under
the radar. Let's not stir any of this I.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
Can tell you.
Speaker 4 (45:54):
But I'm the strongest, uh.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
I can tell you as a as a as a
mid toned woman. No one says shit to me.
Speaker 4 (46:03):
So that's where you want to be.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
Listen, you guys six Like I.
Speaker 1 (46:08):
Remember being in school being like, man, this like conduction
ship is a problem because it's like nigga, if you're
midnight or noon, hey, if you're six pm.
Speaker 3 (46:17):
Fine, yeah, we we fine peace every day.
Speaker 1 (46:22):
Because y'all are y'all. First of all, you're intelligent people
who can get through a war.
Speaker 2 (46:26):
Come on, come on, keep going.
Speaker 3 (46:34):
We have to we have to go to another break.
But before we do, it's also worth noting that or
rather when we come back, and this is maybe a
better way of framing this up. I did do some
research on where the the possibility of this might actually
actually exist. I landed on something that I'd love to
unpack with you all about the possibility of any validity
(46:57):
for this Miami conspiracy, even though it's seems to be
just a bunch of badass kids fist fighting at the mall.
So we're gonna take a break, we're gonna be back
with more doselet song, more my mama told me, and
we're gonna talk more about these aliens. We're calling upon
you because we have new merch. We have very exciting
(47:22):
merch that we are now selling and it's it's fucking great.
We love it so much.
Speaker 4 (47:28):
Just sleek, it's sexy.
Speaker 2 (47:30):
Come on, you want to tell them what we have? Yeah,
we have three different types of hats, which is really fun.
We have a two tone hat, an alien dad hat,
the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we have
the enamel pin with an alien who has a coofie
on it since my mama told me. And then we
have t shirts that say proud little Mama, which is.
Speaker 4 (47:50):
Who you are.
Speaker 3 (47:51):
Yeah, you can buy the merch now, go to my
mama told me dot merch table dot com. It's a
brand new name, but it's a same merch and we
would love for you to get some if you haven't
got it already, and we want you to have all
the sweet stuff, so get it.
Speaker 4 (48:10):
I want you to know this.
Speaker 7 (48:11):
If your prayers include me to stop drinking, stop smoking,
and stop having fun and stop.
Speaker 4 (48:17):
Watching these little bitches spop the ads.
Speaker 7 (48:19):
If your prayers include any of those things and not
gonna work because of rejecting them all. And I will
be continuing in my saying we could ask motherfucking ways.
Speaker 4 (48:27):
I gets it that the way you want to put.
Speaker 3 (48:30):
Yep, we're back. That is the leader of this podcast.
That is my grandfather, a gentleman who inspires us every day.
We don't know his name or where he is, but
we trust him and the Lord's prayers. With Olivia's writing,
that man said.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
Take your prayers and keep them because I ain't stopping
doing now thing I'm doing over here.
Speaker 3 (48:55):
Come on, we're still talking about the possibilities that there
are ten feet eight to ten feet aliens walking around malls,
specifically in Miami. And one of the things that I
landed on, or rather wanted to unpack with you all,
is that this gray alien conversation is in fact a
real one. Grays, as they're commonly referred to, are sort
(49:18):
of a very I guess, stereotypical alien breed that is
often associated with visiting the planet Earth.
Speaker 2 (49:27):
It's the ones you see, it's the ones you tend
to see, right, Like, no distinct features, kind of fuzzy outlines,
humanoid body, yeah, big eyes.
Speaker 3 (49:36):
Big ass head.
Speaker 1 (49:37):
My ex side of roommate that looked like that.
Speaker 2 (49:43):
Well, that's unfortunate.
Speaker 3 (49:44):
And the idea of waking up in the middle of
the night and seeing that walk past your room seems
haunting at the very least.
Speaker 1 (49:52):
And you stayed downstairs.
Speaker 3 (49:54):
Okay, he knew he was ugly, and he knew he
was gray.
Speaker 1 (49:56):
I like that he was needed some vitamin D. Saw
you just need like some just some sunlight really would
have helped him.
Speaker 3 (50:03):
But there are multiple sort of like incidents where people
claim to have seen these quote unquote grays out in
the world. And I'm curious to hear you all's thoughts
as it relates to that. Do you believe in the
grays walking around and it just isn't in this Miami mall?
Or do you think like maybe this is the police
(50:24):
trying to throw a little bit of a red herring
a wrench into what ultimately is a real thing. Where
where do you live in the aliens looking humanoid and
walking around vibe a bit?
Speaker 4 (50:37):
All?
Speaker 2 (50:37):
It's such a tough It's such a tough Because I
thought about this before, is that other planets sustaining life
humanoid is like it feels kind of arrogant to assume
that it.
Speaker 4 (50:50):
Will look just like us. Who knows there's infinite ways
to be mobile, you know what I'm saying. So like
for some than to be shaped exactly like us does
feel like more of a red herring to me, just
in that like that makes it easier to understand, right,
if they're like they look like people, kind of that
(51:12):
people can understand, as opposed to like some creature from
a planet that is set up completely different and has
to set you know what, You know what I mean,
like a physical setup to be to be adapted to
that planet. Who knows if arms and legs is the
best you know what I mean? They got they they
got wheels, they got six dicks. We don't know what
they're on over there.
Speaker 3 (51:34):
Yeah, I don't hope they don't have six. That seems
like a lot to focus on.
Speaker 2 (51:38):
But but I don't know how their brains are built. Deal,
I'm a human being.
Speaker 3 (51:42):
I have limited perspective one with a dick, So yeah,
maybe six is the right number.
Speaker 1 (51:49):
Well then, because they could, like if you think of
the diversity of life on the planet Earth, and of
all the ways that animals on the creatures on Earth
exist move because like there's ocean planet, so everybody could
be in the water, right, there could be. There's like
(52:13):
Venus is a very gaseous planet, and so the interesting
thing about Venus is that a day on Venus is
longer than a year on Venus.
Speaker 2 (52:23):
So I don't understand it takes it takes.
Speaker 1 (52:30):
Longer for Venus to rotate once than it does for
it to go around the Sun. Oh. Interesting, So the
way we measure a day is one rotation of the Earth,
so it takes Venus like maybe, but it's not. It's
not huge. It's not like twenty days in the year.
It's like it's not a huge difference, but it's basically
(52:50):
almost the same. It takes about the same. So it's
like a it's like two hundred and sixty six days
to rotate with twenty sixty five days get around there
to get around the Sun. So it's also it's like
we're carbon based life forms, but if you look at
like the periodic table, there's so many other life forms,
Like there was like a whole thing on XBOS where
it was just like there were silicon based life forms,
(53:11):
you know what I mean. There's so many elements in
a periodic table. There's so many ways for a planet
to exist, like Jupiter. That big red spot on Jupiter
is technically like a hurricane, but it's three earths wide,
is how big it is, and so and that's been
swirling since we discovered other planets, so for us to
(53:36):
go and then certain planets have like a more gravity
or less gravity, like the Moon has less gravity. So
the way that we look is based upon our atmosphere
and our gravity and how we interact with our planet.
But if you have less gravity, then it's like people
go to space, they lose density in their bones. And
that's always the issue with astronauts. They lose bone density.
(53:57):
So it's just like if you have less gravity, you
bounce it around. So these niggas means because go the
other way.
Speaker 3 (54:03):
Yeah, Like here's that movie I was listening to day.
I was listening to a daily podcast not too long
ago where they were talking about astronauts going to space
and how like they're they're not actually like astronauts are
(54:24):
coming back essentially like sick and not not sick, but
just sort of less healthy than they were if they
stay too long in space, and it is sort of
like the now current concern that they have with like
can we sustain life outside of this planet because of
the loss of bone density, because of all the negative
(54:45):
effects that space sort of has on the body that
they weren't preparing for and don't really know how to
counteract just yet. And so to that point, to be
able to exist outside of this planet means that you
can't really be taking on a human form in the
way that we expect these things to look. And that's
really just us being ego maniacs and being like.
Speaker 4 (55:08):
I really look like me.
Speaker 2 (55:09):
I mean, that's but that's why it also feels like
it's fed down from the government, right, It's like that's
why it feels like it's a red herring, because why
would it be similar to us?
Speaker 1 (55:18):
But anyway, I also think that it's just like it's
not completely unfeasible that a biped movement isn't because it's
just like, I mean, right, like if you look like
you know, there's other animals that are bipedal, and it's
not a lot of animals, but that.
Speaker 4 (55:40):
It seems like the least effect.
Speaker 2 (55:41):
It does feel like the least effective, Like they don't
even know why we got bipedal, like why we stood
up right.
Speaker 1 (55:47):
And so, but because we stood up, we were able to,
you know, make TikTok. So it's like there's so many
things that got created just because of how our bodies are.
But like if we have stayed like if we have
stayed in that the evolution before us, where you're like,
if you look at how other animals evolved and how
other animals didn't evolve, like the horseshoe crab was the
(56:09):
least evolved animal on the planet, but then you look
at sharks, and sharks have survived multiple extinctions of other
like multiple mass extinctions, and they haven't evolved as much
as other animals.
Speaker 2 (56:22):
So yeahficient, that's an efficient body style, right.
Speaker 1 (56:28):
It's just like we did the thing and we in
the ocean.
Speaker 4 (56:31):
It works this year.
Speaker 3 (56:34):
I'm glad you brought up the ocean because part of
what I was sort of like curious about as we
were talking about this, if we're talking about aliens and
the ways that they take on different forms, is how
often we're discovering new species out of the fucking plant,
you know what I mean, the ocean specifically, and like
even just as of February twenty seventh of this year,
(56:57):
national geographic public articles talking about meet the newest walking fish,
a bright red creature out of Chile that basically is
like a red, tiny little motherfucker that walks on its
fins and it looks insane and silly and they're just
now finding that thing. And so the idea that that
(57:19):
may not have come originally from this planet seems just
as feasible to me as these ten foot alien things whatever,
you know what I mean that like our understanding of
it is we don't know, And that's sort of my
point is like we don't know where any of these
things come from, and so bipedal not bipedal, it all
(57:42):
seems like we're just making up stuff to comfort ourselves
more than actually like land on real evidence.
Speaker 1 (57:50):
When you look at science. Science was just like why
are we here? Let's start figuring shit out, because like
I always think about like I've always been interested in
herbalism because it's like because you've ever been to like
a Chinese herb shop or like one of those places
where it's just like, okay, this is what's wrong with
your body. We put these things together, boom, this will help.
(58:13):
But also it's hey, we put. But if poison ivy
touches you, it'll take you out. You can eat one
plant and get better, you can eat another plant and die, right,
and then this plant is food, but this plant ate food.
It's fruit, but you can't eat it. And so when
I when you look at just the diversity of plants,
and you look at the diversity of like different creatures
(58:34):
and we're still going to the bottom of the ocean
and finding all kinds of things. If Earth itself has
so much diversity that it only makes sense that off Earth.
But it's just like remember as a kid when you
learned about those like bioluliness and animals that that look ugly,
angler fish that they lily their bodies had to create
(58:55):
life so they could see other motherfuckers to eat them, right,
And it's like if if a species can adapt to
create light in the depths of the ocean, it's like,
you know, maybe there's some creature that just was like, listen,
I just want a baby fat jacket, And where am
I going to be able to get this? I just
(59:16):
want to see, like I know I'm another from another planet,
but these give bus I know, Okay.
Speaker 4 (59:25):
It's baby fat jacket. He goes head in hand.
Speaker 1 (59:27):
You know what that girl you know, maybe that's my mo.
Mom never got me a baby fat jacket because she
don't want me out here. I can like reckless cause
those girls always had liploss al the type party sail
and always got pregnant high school.
Speaker 2 (59:36):
Yeah, baby fat, baby fat is for fast women. Listen, Oh,
don't laugh like I'm saying something crazy. I'm enjoying the joke.
What do you want for me?
Speaker 4 (59:48):
Okay? But I can't laugh for you.
Speaker 2 (59:52):
You just want me to sit here and look dumb.
What do you want? That was funny.
Speaker 1 (59:57):
I want there to be I want I want there
to be a I want us to I think, But
I would say one I think is also ego, like
those are they they have those movies. Whenever they have
those movies, where's just like the aliens have come and
take over. I also think that's ego as well, because.
Speaker 2 (01:00:17):
Might be trash compared to other planets.
Speaker 1 (01:00:19):
But look what white but white people are writing those stories.
But look what their ancestors did when they found a
new place. They didn't try to cohabitate. They took the
fuck over. They didn't go, hey, what y'all doing over here?
We got on a boat, we got think we want
to fall with the eggs of fucking aren't kind of
find out it was mos niggas on the other side.
Oh yeah, we breathed and y'all died to just fucking
take y'all over. If you come from a group of
(01:00:39):
people who, as soon as they met another group of
people took the fuck over, then of course they're assumed
in the same way, like the ego, the ego of
being by you know, being a biped and standing up
straight and having those features. It's of course if new
motherfuckers get here, they want to take over if we have,
and take over take what we have. But I'm just like,
(01:01:02):
we could be an awful this could be we could
be a hood.
Speaker 2 (01:01:07):
We might be a hood. Yeah, planetary wise, we're killing it.
That's like a bad That's a bad sign.
Speaker 1 (01:01:14):
Earth is ghetto because if you think about it, if
I was an alien just off to looking at how
we treat each other and we know where motherfuckers come from,
I would be so afraid to tell humans that I
was here.
Speaker 4 (01:01:28):
Also, you come down here, the water's all dirty, the
air's all dirty. This shit is like Rockaway Beach.
Speaker 1 (01:01:34):
Bro and as someone who was taking that place and
I was afraid to. I wouldn't get my knees, I
wouldn't go past my thighs because I was worried about
getting that water on my hua.
Speaker 4 (01:01:45):
Oh yeah, don't fuck with city water.
Speaker 1 (01:01:47):
I'm literally not friends with the person anymore who took
us to that beach because I said where we wanted
to go, and we ended up there. There was a
pamper and a sandwich that floated past us, and I
was like, I am never gonna speak to you.
Speaker 4 (01:01:58):
Can you tell me that's not the hood in our
most famous city.
Speaker 2 (01:02:02):
That's the water. I hope i'n't related.
Speaker 3 (01:02:04):
I hope it was a sandwich and a pamper that
didn't know each other.
Speaker 2 (01:02:09):
That's my hope.
Speaker 1 (01:02:10):
I mean they did the scene related because one was
just wrapped because it was they were both wrapped up.
It was like a sandwich that was wrapped on the cellophane,
so it looks like someone lost their lunch. Literally like
not through it, but it's like, oh it got away
from it. A wave hit me on the sandwich is gone.
And then the other one was just a horrible individual
who threw a pamper into the ocean because it was
wrapped up like that.
Speaker 2 (01:02:32):
To that, I say, don't go into the ocean with
a sandwich.
Speaker 3 (01:02:36):
Yeah, I don't think you gotta do all that New
York sandwich.
Speaker 1 (01:02:39):
I'm just like where we put it, but it was
like wrapped on, like sitting on a piece of cellophane.
So it was like on a piece of sky refall,
then sandwich and then cellophane and then like a price tag.
Speaker 4 (01:02:50):
All that being said, ultimately, I think that there is
aliens and they don't want this trash ass plenty.
Speaker 1 (01:02:56):
Honestly, if I was aliens, I would walk like somebody
was like if they were, and they would roll their
windows up when they roll past Earth.
Speaker 3 (01:03:03):
I think if I could land this plane, I think
we're all in agreement that the aliens likely exist, and
they certainly exist in forms that we don't understand. We're
certainly there's a possibility of them existing in a form
that we don't understand, and certainly them appearing at the
mall in Miami is unlikely but not impossible. We don't
(01:03:27):
know enough to understand what their choices might be, and
we celebrate any aliens that might reveal themselves to us
in whatever form they may take.
Speaker 2 (01:03:35):
Is that is that fair to say? I think so.
Speaker 1 (01:03:38):
I would say, aliens, if you are listening to this podcast,
if you are going to reveal yourselves to any group
of people on the planet Earth, I don't recommend going
to the white people first.
Speaker 2 (01:03:49):
Hmmm, or second, or ever.
Speaker 3 (01:03:54):
Just for safety, let's make sure we decide who they
should go to first. Who do we think aliens objectively
should go to first of the various races on the planet.
And we can go by country, we can go by race.
It's it's your continent. Go okay, go to continent. Which
continent should aliens show up to first?
Speaker 2 (01:04:14):
You're like South America. That's just what my gut says.
Speaker 4 (01:04:18):
I don't even have a reason.
Speaker 2 (01:04:19):
I don't even have a reason, just what my gut said, Like,
if they just show up, it might't you peat you anyways.
Speaker 1 (01:04:24):
Yeah, honestly, I think one shout out to Polynesia and Melanesia,
because Melanesia is.
Speaker 4 (01:04:33):
Really on a place that was your first middle name, right.
Speaker 1 (01:04:37):
Yes, yes, Polynesia was my first middle name. And then
my mama was like, I don't fuck with Chick fil
A like that.
Speaker 4 (01:04:46):
That's a poor choice.
Speaker 1 (01:04:50):
I feel like if they went to like Polynesia first,
like your Tongua, your Fiji.
Speaker 4 (01:04:59):
They're already to ten feet.
Speaker 1 (01:05:00):
All first of all, already Easteride. You know, they already
know what we're dealing with, right, I think going to
them first. I think them first, and then like American
black people. Mmmm, I think, well that's the thing. Hold,
(01:05:22):
I didn't say no, I wouldn't recommend it.
Speaker 2 (01:05:26):
I'll be honest.
Speaker 3 (01:05:28):
I think I think Christian Jesus has gotten a hold
of us in a way that makes it real complicated.
Speaker 2 (01:05:34):
If aliens showed up.
Speaker 1 (01:05:36):
I'm gona, but this is what I have to say.
It's I really feel like that niggas will see them
and be like, yo, these white folks from murder them.
Let's just give them a second, a little because it's like,
it's not like we're gonna I'm not gonna say we're
not gonna be afraid of them, but I see what
we will do is take the time to go, listen,
let me tell you about these white folks because y'all
think y'all nobody watching. I'm not gonna say we can't
(01:05:58):
be dangerous. I'm saying we're the ones to best educate
them as to why they shouldn't be dealing with the whites.
And then it'd be like, Okay, now y'all got to
get the fuck up out of here, because my grandma said,
y'all can say so. I can't. When it comes to
letting them know what's really going on in this fucking planet,
I don't think so. Like the nice greeting polynesia, but like, okay, bitch,
(01:06:20):
let me tell you what the tea is, and nothing
but the tea. Honestly, I would tell you just get
the fuck off this planet. Bro, don't meet nobody else,
I respect, don't talk to nobody else.
Speaker 3 (01:06:31):
I think I do think we'll be great at warning them.
I don't necessarily know that we'll be great at assisting
them beyond the warning.
Speaker 1 (01:06:41):
No, no, we won't. We won't. We're going to tell
them here's the tea, get the fuck up out of here,
because we're all gonna murdy.
Speaker 4 (01:06:49):
I'm about to quit this job too. Like I think,
get us.
Speaker 1 (01:07:00):
The fuck up out of here, because I remember Baron
Vaughn's joke where we're just like the word like like
like all these racial slurs and be like, you know,
like you take an adjective and just put a nigga
behind it, right, and he was like, if we really
wanted the people to come together when the aliens come,
He's like, we could just band together and kill these
space niggas. And that's what they were called, aliens niggas.
(01:07:22):
It was an amazing joke. But yeah, we would warn
them and tell them to get the fuck on, and
then some of us would be like, can we come
to We don't want to be nigga. I'll lose my
bone density to get the fuck up out of this bitch.
I don't care.
Speaker 2 (01:07:35):
I gotta like where my bones are at.
Speaker 1 (01:07:37):
I didn't say I wanted to go. I said other
niggas would want to leave. But I think we would
warn them and then be like, Yo, don't talk to
nobody else on this planet, and they're going to anyway.
But I'd be like, Yo, get the fuck up out
of here, like this is a bad neighborhood.
Speaker 3 (01:07:52):
Well, I think we did it. I think we nailed this.
Do's they could you tell the people where they can
find you on what cool shit you got going on?
Speaker 1 (01:08:00):
So I'm on al Gore's Internet on dualsaysloan dot com
and then I was just hosting the Daily Show this week,
so you can catch up on that. And then I've
got my website Duelsaysloan dot com and on the tour dates.
And i have a lip gloss company with comedian Lace
Larabee called Yoggle Gloss. Well you can buy that. And
my book Hello Friends, Stories of Dating, Destiny and Day Jobs,
(01:08:23):
you can get at bookstores, you can get online, and
it's available on Audible. And I read my book.
Speaker 3 (01:08:29):
Hey, hell yeah, Bory, what you got cool?
Speaker 2 (01:08:33):
Got jokes eighty seven on Instagram. Go to patreon dot
com backslash David Bori for all things relating to my
new special. It's free, you know, got paid for the
Patreon Just come on. I got clips, I got interviews,
all kinds of stuff leading up to the release of
the special. Go check that out. Latch Royal Crackers on
Max and shout out to everybody out there five eight
(01:08:55):
and above, hey and below. Thank you so everybody.
Speaker 3 (01:09:02):
Yes, shouts to humans And as always, you can follow
me on iced Tea's Internet at legston Kerman. I'm happy
to meet you on all platforms. And if you want
to send us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories,
if you want to prove to us that aliens have
(01:09:24):
shown up at your mall. Send it all to my
Mama pod at gmail dot com. You can get merch
at Mamma told me dot merch table dot com. Come
see us live May fifth. The dat is coming up soon.
Will be at the Comedy Store for Netflix. Is a
joke seven pm show, great guests, fun, silly time, shenanigans
(01:09:45):
all around, a bunch of shit talking and it'll be
fun and like subscribe, do all the things that you're
meant to do to make this podcast a thriving, successful,
poisonous thing that we push into your brains every week. Uh,
that's the whole shebang.
Speaker 1 (01:10:04):
By bitch, I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 2 (01:10:06):
Who'll say what?
Speaker 1 (01:10:07):
Blood on crip.
Speaker 5 (01:10:13):
The government babes, I grow chips in your names. All
Koala bears are racist. The whole stal layer, Hostle, money
and turkey stuff. I can't tell me govern
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