I accidentally REVEALED the TRUTH about my husband and brother… now everything is ruined! - r/AmITheAsshole | Reddit Stories | EP2080 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is John, this is the mm okay Storytime podcast hosts,
and we have some.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Story's coming up for you.

Speaker 3 (00:10):
That's right.

Speaker 1 (00:10):
But before that, we have a little morsel of a
two minute outbreak from the sponsors keeping the show delicious.

Speaker 4 (00:15):
Hmmm.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
I accidentally revealed the truth about my husband and brother.
Now everything is ruined.

Speaker 4 (00:24):
They can't handle the truth.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
Yes, that's right. I twenty nine female, have a husband
named Matt thirty two male, and an older brother named
Tony thirty two male. Tony has a wife named Anna
thirty three female. Tony and I both went to boarding
school growing up. I went to an all girls school
and he went to an all boys school across the country.
Because of the distance, we weren't very close as kids,
and I didn't know much about his life back then.

(00:47):
By the way, this comes from user bro hub truth
and you could submit your story to the r slash
Okay Storytime Subburda. So, when Tony was at boarding school,
he met my future husband, Matt, and they became best friends.
At the time, Tony was dealing with depression about his
preferences and Matt helped him out of it. Long story short,

(01:08):
they ended up falling in love and having a relationship.
Once they graduated high school, they broke up and lost touch.
I didn't know about any of this at the time.
I ended up going to the same university as Matt,
which is where I met him. I didn't mention my
brother initially because he wasn't really a part of my life,
and since Tony and I have different last names, the
three of us didn't put the pieces together until a

(01:29):
family gathering a year later.

Speaker 4 (01:32):
That's a crazy family gathering, like you do the whooh
oh you do?

Speaker 2 (01:36):
The wait a minute, oh I know you? Oh oh,
I know you?

Speaker 4 (01:41):
How do you know each other?

Speaker 5 (01:42):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Oh, well, I'm not gonna lie. It was tough at
first for everyone involved, but eventually we were all able
to get past it, and Tony and Matt became best
friends again. Matt and I got married three years ago.
When I met Tony's partner, Anna for the first time,
I privately asked Tony if he told her about his
history with Matt. Tony said it was still a new

(02:04):
relationship and he would tell her when they were more serious. Now,
Tony and Anna are married. Since Tony and Mat are
so close, they often go on boys' trips with just
the two of them. Oh, no, is this going to
be broke Back Mountain?

Speaker 4 (02:16):
This is I think this is broke back Oh dude,
this is going to.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
Be broke Back Mountain. They took one of these trips
this past weekend, and everything was going fine until I
got a call from Anna asking if I knew where
Tony was. Apparently he told her he was going to
see our parents, but she called them and he wasn't there.
I told her that he was on a trip with Matt.
She got upset and asked me if there was something
going on between them, thinking she already knew because she

(02:42):
and Tony are now married. I told her not to
worry because Matt and Tony's romance ended in high school.
That's when I found out Tony never told her.

Speaker 4 (02:52):
Tope spilled the bean.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
No, you spilled the bes. Tony was furious at me
when he because Anna is now threatening divorce and I'm
tearing up his family because I told her without asking
him first. Apparently Tony didn't tell Anna the truth because
he thought she wouldn't let him see Matt anymore. And
now Anna wants him to cut me and Matt out completely.

Speaker 3 (03:15):
Does that?

Speaker 4 (03:15):
What wit did? Ope know about Matt going out with
Tony too on the boy strips, which it seems like
she did.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
Yeah, I think she did, and she's okay with it.
Matt is upset to because he can't see Tony and
he's losing his best friend all over again. My brother
wants to cut me out of his life, his wife
wants a divorce, and my husband is miserable, all because
of something I said. I feel so guilty and can't
help but feel as though I messed up. Am I
the a hole? I mean? No? No, no, really, no,

(03:42):
here's an edit. I really appreciate everyone's comments. Some of
them are really hard to read, but I suppose this
is a wake up call that's long overdue. I know
it may seem difficult to believe that someone my age
can be so naive and clueless, but being rational is
something I've always struggled with. I wish it were fake.
I'm realizing that this is most likely far worse than
I thought it was. I won't be able to respond

(04:03):
to individual comments for a bit, but I'm reading all
of them in the meantime, and we'll post an update
when I can. At at number two, I've seen a
lot of comments asking why I didn't say anything about
the trips sooner and what I thought they were doing.
So I'll just answer here. My brother has been struggling
with pretty severe depression for the past few years. Because
of this, he doesn't go out much or have many friends.
My husband is his only close friend and the only

(04:24):
one Tony will open up to. Because my husband helped
him through depression when they were younger, the outings with
Matt are one of the few things that make me
my brother happy. Matt always told me they do regular
things like play video games and watch movies and go biking,
so I didn't think too much into it, even with
Matt being Tony's X. I thought it was more like
Matt was helping his friend through a tough time. That's
not how that works. See maybe, oh times are tough. Well,

(04:48):
I'm gonna kiss your mouth. I don't know, man. I
see how stupid I was to assume that, but that
was my thought process at three. Please don't let this
post be a justification for any phobias towards the gay community.
Whatever happens with my brother and my husband isn't reflective
of those people as a whole. Last at it. Wow.
I stepped away for a bit and there's a ton

(05:08):
of comments. Won't be able to respond individually as there's
a lot going on right now, but I'll still be
reading before I sign off. A couple quick updates. Matt
agreed to tell me everything after I've given him some
time and space to process all of this as much
as I and probably you all want answers. Now that's
what we'll be doing. Still no word from brother or
sister in law. I'm going to give it a rest
for the day and try to focus on something that
doesn't terrify me. I'll be back with a separate update

(05:30):
post when things make more sense. Thank you all. Also,
I have seen Broke Back Mountain.

Speaker 4 (05:35):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (05:35):
Evidently it's a lot more fun on screen than it
is in real life.

Speaker 4 (05:39):
Oh my wow, oh wow. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (05:41):
I mean, it's gotta be hard to realize that your
husband's Saudi is not what you thought it was. We
can't jump to conclusions, but there's an update, so let's
jump into that. After I gave my husband space, I
confronted him about his trips with my brother. He agreed
to be honest with me about the relationship. As some
of you suspected Matt knew when we first met that
I was to his sister and started dating me to

(06:01):
get close to Tony again. No way, Oh my god.

Speaker 4 (06:06):
Okay, okay, okay, keep reading.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
Did not expect that. He claimed that in the first
year of our relationship, before he reunited with Tony, he
genuinely fell in love with me. When Tony saw us together,
he admitted to Matt that he still loved him and
was distraught when Matt said he didn't feel the same way. Eventually,
they made amends and became close friends again. Around the
time Matt married me, Tony fell into a deep depression.

Speaker 4 (06:29):
A correlation? Is there a correlation?

Speaker 2 (06:31):
There? Don't like this? That's when the trips started. Matt
told me that initially he was just supporting Tony as
a friend, but Tony broke down on one of the
trips and confessed that he never stopped loving Matt, and
he was lying about the trips to his wife because
he felt guilty, which is also why he never told
her about their history. He begged Matt to keep this
a secret to protect their relationship. According to Matt, nothing

(06:52):
physical ever happened between them. I pushed him on why
Anna thought there was something going on, and Matt eventually
admitted that they were having an emotion affair. A few
months ago, Anna overheard a phone call between Tony and
Matt that made her suspicious, so she went through Tony's
phone and confronted him about some things. She found no
hard proof, but enough to make her uneasy. She told
Tony that she didn't want him hanging out with Matt anymore,

(07:14):
but he did anyway until I accidentally ratted him out.
My brother and sister in law have totally cut contact,
so I don't have anyone to corroborate my husband's story.
I still don't know how much of it I believe
if it's true. I don't know why Anna never told
me anything. The whole thing sounds too ridiculous to be real,
but for now, it's all I have. Matt apologized NonStop

(07:35):
and wants to work through this, which I can't even
think about right now. The past couple of weeks have
been awful. Matt moved out. We both agreed that we
need distance before making any decisions about our marriage, but
I don't see us coming back from this. I don't
think I'll ever be able to trust anyone again. The
worst thing is I have only myself to blame for
being so effing naive and not seeing the massive red

(07:55):
flags sooner, and for marrying my brother's ex in the
first place. More than any thing, I feel so incredibly guilty,
which I mean, you're not really, You're not guilty.

Speaker 4 (08:04):
You just you did the You didn't even do anything wrong, Yeah,
you were. You were operating from your version of reality,
which you know, you feel bad because everyone else feel
bad that everyone else feels bad for the decisions. But
that's on them. It's Matt and Tony.

Speaker 2 (08:18):
Matt and Tony were the ones who decided to lie
to Anna.

Speaker 4 (08:21):
Yeah, and you, So you did nothing wrong. You're not
an a hole. You did nothing wrong, And that's their
fault that they feel like this. And now they're pinning
the blame on you because that the truth that should
have been brought out a long time ago. Correct.

Speaker 2 (08:32):
You spoke the truth, and I will now speak a
truth as well, which is that you can get full
episodes with stories like this streamed directly into your ear holes.
All you need to do is go to Spotify or
Apple Podcasts or any place where you listen to podcasts
and search. Okay, story time and there you have it.
Before we finish this story, clearly this is this is

(08:53):
this is uh gone on some twists and turns. It's
pretty freaking wild.

Speaker 4 (08:57):
I still think this is like a broke my mountain,
that this is like it without.

Speaker 2 (09:00):
Broke back mountain, but just strictly emotionally apparently apparently.

Speaker 4 (09:04):
Broke back apparently. Yeah, that we don't know, but I
think I think Matt moving out I did. Yeah, I'm
with op, Like I don't think of how you can,
how can you come back?

Speaker 2 (09:13):
I I don't know how you can. I think you
definitely need space to be able to make the decision.
But like such a fundamental breaking of trust, especially the
dropping the bomb of like, yeah, I got with you
knowing that you were his sister, and the reason I
started dating you was to eventually get close to him.

Speaker 4 (09:29):
And that's like, yeah, that's all bad. I don't Yeah,
that's not good.

Speaker 2 (09:34):
Our life is a lie. Oh, our life is a lie.

Speaker 4 (09:36):
Our love is a lie. Your love is a lie.

Speaker 2 (09:39):
And it's like no, no, no, but I really do
love you. It's like, yeah, but you love my brother more.

Speaker 4 (09:42):
But you've been hanging out with my brother a lot more.

Speaker 2 (09:44):
If you really loved me like that, would you have
lied to me like that that whole time?

Speaker 4 (09:48):
Because guess what, Tony, Tony could confess his love and
like you can't tell anyone.

Speaker 2 (09:52):
Let's finish this story. This was not the ending I'd
hoped for, but I'm grateful that I at least have
some answers now. Honestly, I'm not sure or I would
have had the courage to directly confront this if not
for my post here. So despite everything, maybe we can
all think of this as a somewhat happy ending. Thank
you all for your comments and support, and there is
a quick edit. The outpouring of love and support from
this sup is incredibly moving to me. Thank you so

(10:14):
much for all of your comments, awards, and messages. I
can't express enough much I appreciate it. I can't respond
directly to all the comments, but rest assured you have
my gratitude and that is the end of the story.

Speaker 4 (10:25):
Yeah, just focus on yourself, Hopie, and see where things go.
That's crazy. I would try and reach out to Anna,
but I don't know there's something you can do at
this moment is just do you.

Speaker 2 (10:33):
I'm gonna do my own thing.

Speaker 4 (10:34):
I'm gonna do my own thing, and we're gonna get
you another story and just stay tuned.

Speaker 2 (10:38):
That's my thing. My thing is giving you the next story.

Speaker 4 (10:42):
I refuse to take my husband's last name for cultural reasons.
My in laws went hostile. Ooh hostile spotted me Email
twenty six and my fiance, Jake Mail twenty seven had
been together for five years. We met in college while
he was doing an exchange in my country, Belgium. He
is from the US. He loved it here so he

(11:04):
decided to stay and we are really happy here. By
the way, this comes from user am I the ahole
FM and you can submit your stories on our slash ok.
Storytime suppered it.

Speaker 6 (11:14):
So.

Speaker 4 (11:14):
I've met his family a few times when we went
there to visit them. They have never been to Belgium.
Important for later now here, women do not take their
husband's last name. It is the law. All documents will
still be in my maiden name after our wedding. I
think it is possible to do all kinds of administrative
stuff to change my name, but I don't want to.
All women around me have their maiden name, and my

(11:35):
fiance agrees that I should keep my name on to
the main issue. Three days ago, we were doing a
zoom call with his family and the topic of the
name came up, and they were very surprised that I
was not taking his name. I explained very calmly that
it is the law here and that I had the
perfect example of my mom who had a business in
her maiden name and only used my father's name when

(11:55):
dealing with our school or things like that, and that
I wanted to take the same apace as her. Well,
all heck broke loose. His mom started screaming at me,
saying that it is not because I come from a
country of peasants that I should punish my fiance, that
he was so far away from them because of me,
and so on. Jake defended me, and I tried to

(12:16):
calm her down, but she turned to her husband while
crying that they never come to my country because they
know that it is not nearly as good as the US.
And then I just proved it, and fall in law
said that it was my petty feminist bee and that
he didn't want to listen to such nonsense. They left
the call, and my fiance comforted me because I was
honestly very shocked by their reaction and their insults. I

(12:38):
thought it was over, but they've been sending hateful messages
over the past days. They even got there so their
family to do it as well, and even my parents
said that I should try to keep the peace and
offer to check into the administrative procedures to change my name,
but I really don't want to. My fiance is conflicted.
He grew up in a town where it was very,
very uncommon for a woman and to not take her
husband's name, and he agrees that it would keep the

(13:00):
peace with his family, but he does not want to
force me, and he says, it's my decision. Am I
the aole here? No? No, it's the fact that your
husband and you agree on that mutually. That's fine. You
don't need anyone else to be like you need to
do this because it's up to you. It is your culture.
They need to respect that. I didn't expect this to
blow up at all. Thank you everyone for your input.

(13:22):
I stayed up until three am last night to read
your comments, and I am relieved to know that I
was in the right to the people not understanding why
I was doubting myself. I was a very confrontational person
when I was younger, but after bad stuff happening with
close people, I learned to keep my mouth shut. Moreover,
his parents never behaved like this with me, and when
my parents and my fiance actually agreed a little with them,

(13:44):
so no one was on my side, I started doubting
my approach. I realized now that I've become too kind,
and that I let people walk all over me, and
that I need to call them on their bs more often.
As for my fiance, we had a long conversation about
this this morning. He was very defensive at the beginnings,
saying that his parents probably didn't mean it and blah
blah blah blah blah. But after explaining my side of

(14:05):
things and showing him the messages they sent, he actually
realized that they were completely out of line. He admitted
that they never behaved like that with him either, that
he was so surprised by their attitude, and that he
didn't know how to react. I've showed him some of
your comments, and he understands now that he has to
set clear boundaries because it is the first of many
fights if he does not. He promised me that he

(14:25):
was going to send them a message today saying that
this kind of behavior would not be accepted and that
they needed to apologize to me if they wanted to
come to the wedding. He apologized profusely and I want
to trust him. We also discussed the topic of name
again and he promised me that he was fully supporting
my decision concerning children. We already had a conversation because

(14:46):
we both want to be parents, and we agree to
give his last name. We have an update. Hi again everyone.
I received some messages asking for an update, so here
we are. Firstly, I want to thank all of you
for your advice and opinions. Hours reading your comments and
it really helped me gain some perspective. Around a week
after my first post, I asked to have a very
big conversation with Jake, as you suggested, to discuss our future.

Speaker 2 (15:09):
Well.

Speaker 4 (15:10):
At some point he broke down and he told me
he had lied about being surprised at their attitude. He
said that what he was surprised about was that they
did it in front of me. According to him, he
knew they were not happy when we started dating, for
various reasons, including their fear that he would live far away,
but also that I am considered a leftist in the US,
that I'm not a Christian. Apparently they made some mean

(15:31):
comments to him in the first two months I came
to visit, and he didn't want to tell me about
it because he wanted to protect me. His solution was
to be less in contact with them. They stopped their
remarks after that and started to pressure him to marry
me and have kids, though he thought they'd changed their
mind about me. While I knew, they were the kind
to say stuff like this is America speak English? It
is more serious than I thought, because apparently they were

(15:53):
really upset and criticized me because I sometimes had to
search for a word in English and so would use
my French English trains ys later when I was over there.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
I can't think of a group of people I hate
more than the people who were like the America speak English. Hey,
do you know that there's actually no national language in
America because we're a cultural melting pot. You've dounce.

Speaker 4 (16:12):
Yeah, We're a gumbo of everything. But the people who
can't understand that or accept that we got a lot
to talk about.

Speaker 2 (16:19):
Not he God. Actually, I have nothing to say to
you other than leave my presence.

Speaker 4 (16:23):
Jake said that he was quick to nip it in
the bud as he knows that my English is my
third language. Fact that this was an issue for them
made me realize how deep their dislike of me is.
Learning all that was definitely a shock and took a
while to process, but ultimately I decided to forgive Jake,
as I know he did that to protect me and
actually agrees with me that we need to cut them out,
at least for a while. However, I asked to postpone

(16:46):
the wedding as I needed time to be sure. The
new date is in two months, and his parents and
the members of the family who harassed me are not invited.
I think that this time we were able to discuss
our future while being a lot more open to each other.
I told him that I see no issue giving his
last name to our kids, but that I would not
negotiate on the languages. We both agree to stay here
in Belgium. It's a multi cultural country and I don't

(17:09):
want to penalize them in life because they don't speak
the languages of that country. I obviously want them to
speak English, but I told them I would not accept
them not being able to speak French. And Dutch. He
agreed and even said he would start taking French lessons again.
And by the way, we could teach you a bunch
of lessons with a bunch of episodes with stories just
like this on Spotify, Apple podcasts, wherever you listen to podcasts,

(17:34):
just search. Okay, story time, there's a little bit left
to the story. But Dakota, how do we feel.

Speaker 2 (17:40):
I think it's already pretty clear how we feel. You know,
you know, the whims of your family will always be
a tricky thing to navigate. But like clearly they're not
the best people. Just don't pay attention to them.

Speaker 4 (17:53):
You know what. I think they're like the white lie
that OPI's future husband was a jake. Jake in this
case is a white lie. And I think that was
the bet for like, the betterment for everyone, but to
go low contact. And he tested it and saw what
happened with low contact. No contact, no contact unless they apologize,
which I still don't think they deserve it, you know,
to talk to you or talk to your grandkids. Agreed, So,

(18:16):
but let's finish up the story. I think we are
both a bit sad that it had to come to that.
I think he really wanted to believe that his family
could accept me, and even though he was not in
contact with them that much, it was not easy for
him to completely cut them off. But I'm supporting him
as much as I can. Thank you again for all
your messages and comments. Most of them were really helpful
and helped us both and made us open our eyes

(18:37):
to our issues.

Speaker 2 (18:38):
Thanks You're welcome.

Speaker 4 (18:39):
Thank you. Good luck. Op, they got it.

Speaker 2 (18:42):
She speaks three languages. She's got it.

Speaker 4 (18:44):
Yeah, good luck to you and your family. That sounds
like it's gonna be very cool and very sweet.

Speaker 2 (18:49):
Kids are gonna beautiful and intelligence and speak three languages.

Speaker 4 (18:52):
Amazing. Shout out to you. You got this. Cut contact
and that's.

Speaker 2 (18:56):
The end of that story.

Speaker 4 (18:57):
We get, but don't go anywhere. We got.

Speaker 2 (18:58):
We got on more.

Speaker 5 (19:00):
My adult sister's baby talking is making me insane, so
I asked her to stop.

Speaker 6 (19:06):
Oh you don't like it. You don't like the baby talk.

Speaker 5 (19:10):
Like Google Gaga, Oh my gosh, really read it for
this one, as I genuinely don't know if I'm the
a hole the way as my sister has read it.

Speaker 3 (19:21):
All fake names.

Speaker 5 (19:22):
My thirty four sister, twenty seven Elana, has been somewhat infatable, infatible, infantile, infantile,
new word, what's up with that? But in the last
year she stepped up her game in the category of
nonsense baby talk. She was seeing a guy last year
who I think liked it, which might be why she's

(19:43):
literally every second sentence and it's driving me nuts.

Speaker 2 (19:47):
By the way, this.

Speaker 5 (19:48):
Comes from am I diable sister act on the art
Slashalkey story Time. Some examples, she arrived at my house
and asked if she could put some muse in the fruit.

Speaker 2 (20:00):
Ah.

Speaker 3 (20:01):
I didn't even know what she's saying.

Speaker 5 (20:02):
It turns out she wanted to put my juice in
my fridge. On seeing a six month old crying, she
loudly said, oh no, don't cree do cree, don't do dad.
And she's asked if we've had any eat any freeze
I saw in the freezer. You hit the idea.

Speaker 3 (20:22):
It's endless and very annoying.

Speaker 5 (20:24):
My older sister thirty five female Estie and I have
chosen to combat this by pretending we don't know what
she means until she.

Speaker 3 (20:33):
Says it correctly.

Speaker 5 (20:34):
My mom does nothing about it, as Alana is the
youngest and always babied a bit. Mom has even translated
the baby talk for me and see when we are
pretending we don't understand anyway, Yesterday Alana was at my
house for my birthday and the baby talk was dialed
up to one hundred.

Speaker 6 (20:51):
Oh no, we had a.

Speaker 5 (20:52):
Giant we had giant cookie for a cake, and later
in the evening, Alana handed my husband a plate and requested.

Speaker 2 (20:58):
A slice of cooks.

Speaker 5 (21:01):
Oh God, side of the cookie cake. This was too
much for me, and I told her to stop with
the made up words. She replied, it's.

Speaker 6 (21:07):
Cute, cute thing, cute thing that the boyfriend did with her,
but she's taken away too far, way too far, yeh.

Speaker 5 (21:15):
I informed her that this was not cute and asked
her to cut it out. She refused and told me
I can do whatever I want and nobody can tell.

Speaker 6 (21:24):
Me what.

Speaker 5 (21:26):
Or something along those nights, which my mom agreed. Then
I said that she needs to make sure not to
use the nonsense words in front of my six months old,
as I don't want her learning the right words oh God,
which was really just an excuse to stop her from
doing it. I want to point it out that Etsy
used made up words with her two year old. Etsy
says tumor instead of tummer instead of tummy, but that's

(21:48):
the only one she could think of. I said that
what Etsy does with her daughter is irrelevant because I'm
the only one asking Elana to stop. But that might
not be relevant, but I am adding four transparency. When
my husband reappeared with the cake, I refused to let
Alana have it until she asked for it properly. She
gave me a death clare, but did ask properly A

(22:09):
bet sulkily, my am, I the a hole is twofold.
Here was I the a hole to withhold the cake
until she asked for it like an adult? And was
I the a hole for telling her to stop talking
nonsense in the first place. She is, after all, a
fully grown adult who can do what she likes. But
honestly can't tell you how irritating it is to hear
nonsense talk all the time from a twenty seven year

(22:31):
old woman, and she had dialed it up to an eleven.

Speaker 3 (22:34):
For some reason.

Speaker 5 (22:35):
My mom agreed with Alana, obviously, and Etsy wasn't there,
but agreed with me when she was told what happened,
as did my husband. I love to put my foot
down and tell her to cut it out every time.
But I need the judgment on Reddit for this, as
I don't know if I'm blinded by my unreasonableness by
how annoying it is.

Speaker 3 (22:54):
And we got it.

Speaker 2 (22:55):
Edit.

Speaker 5 (22:55):
Thanks for all the comments. I'm reading through them on
and off while looking after my daughter, and some of
them are really making me laugh.

Speaker 3 (23:00):
To answer a few questions.

Speaker 5 (23:02):
Yes, I've addressed this with her before, as has Etsy.
This is just the first time I've flat out refused
to follow up on what she said. She pulled the
but you do it with your daughter card on Etsy
before two, so clearly she thinks it's a good argument.
The only people present were me, my mom, Alana, and
my husband. It was just a low key thing, no

(23:23):
big crowd. Etsy and her husband joined later via zoom.
We played joke boat on Jackbox. I came fifth. Alana
is generally very sweet and fun, but definitely immature and
could be super annoying.

Speaker 3 (23:35):
This gets on my very last.

Speaker 5 (23:37):
Nerve very quickly, and I could be hard on her,
Hence my am I the a hole. Usually my husband
is good at pointing out if I'm being harsh, but
he was totally on my side here. Yes, I use
the IAM's sistern names on purpose, and yes I'm smug.
I get to be Danielle. I don't know what that means.

Speaker 6 (23:55):
Those are the it's a band. It's remember when we
went to the Spotify event it was the three girls DJing.
It was those girls.

Speaker 4 (24:02):
Him, him, Yeah, it was those girls.

Speaker 2 (24:04):
She's mentioning those girls.

Speaker 4 (24:05):
Yeah, dude, he's big. I don't know.

Speaker 6 (24:07):
Yeah, I had no clue.

Speaker 5 (24:10):
It was just like always like three random chicken. It's
like one DJ with her sister. It's cool, that's what
I thought.

Speaker 6 (24:14):
No, No, they are like in Taylor Swift songs and stuff.

Speaker 4 (24:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (24:19):
Yeah, Anyway, my mom just came over and I spoke
to her. She agreed very quickly that it's annoying AF
but said that Alana is working on standing up for
herself and my mom wanted to support that. I was like, sure,
but pick your battles. My mom agreed and said she
will talk to her when it's just them, as she
thought that agreeing with me in the moment would have
made Alana defensive and she wouldn't have listened, which is

(24:42):
probably true. I mentioned what some commenters had said about
it being my house and me being able to ask
her to stop. She agreed with this and reiterated that
she would talk to Alana. That's all I have for now,
and I'm going to talk to Etsy, and I think
we're going to go for talk to her seriously, so
I treat her like an adult approach and try to
be a bit kinder about it. They skin for the comments.

(25:03):
Etsy and I are feeling very vindicated.

Speaker 3 (25:05):
We got updates.

Speaker 5 (25:06):
Oh boy, Yeah, this is a good point.

Speaker 3 (25:10):
She may get defensive, but she can't entertain this. You
can't entertain.

Speaker 6 (25:15):
I know, they really can't. I think the only way
that she would actually stop is if everyone's like, oh
my god, it's so annoying.

Speaker 3 (25:23):
The second she opens her mouth.

Speaker 6 (25:24):
Like god, stop it. Listen, listen. I'm gonna go on
the record and say sometimes bullying works.

Speaker 2 (25:31):
Update updates.

Speaker 5 (25:33):
As I said before, Etsy and I feel incredibly vindicated
by the judgment and the comments in general. As we
are always being told by our mom not to be
hard on poor Alana. It's gotten to the point where
we don't even rip into her like we like we
do each other, which is a shame as we are
English and our primary love language is insult and anyway,
I digress. I got my chance to confront Alana on

(25:55):
Saturday evening, peak time of the week, when Alana and
my mom came over another round of jack box, and
Alana asked me if I liked her new jump. Oh no,
I replied, you're what, and she leveled me with a
slightly smug, unblinking stare. My mom jumps in and tells
me she means her jumper, and Alana interrupts her, saying

(26:21):
she knows what I mean. I can say jump if
I like so. So Mom did nothing, mother.

Speaker 3 (26:27):
Zipabity z row, not at all.

Speaker 4 (26:30):
That's mommy's will baby.

Speaker 6 (26:32):
Mommy's widow, baby jump. I thought she was gonna be
like jetn't really I jump.

Speaker 3 (26:40):
I thought she was gonna do that.

Speaker 1 (26:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (26:41):
I thought she was gonna do like a little jump
and be like, try to be like stupid with it
or something, and you do fashion design.

Speaker 3 (26:46):
Is anyone ever called it a jump? A jump or
a jump?

Speaker 6 (26:49):
Yeah, dude, I don't know.

Speaker 5 (26:51):
Clearly she had decided to double down. I had my
Reddit voices in my ears and I was prepared. I
asked her to stop talking and nonsense words, and she
told me that it's the thing that all millennials do
and that I needed to get over it, and said
that I do it too, and gave a prose as
an example, it's a drink. I disagreed, and then told

(27:13):
her that I've been googling it translation, I've asked a
bunch of redditors, and that it made me wonder if
she's doing it as a reaction to no longer being
the youngest and the family anymore. She was very affronted
by this, telling me that she had been doing it
in a way, telling me she had been doing it
way longer than the arrival of the kids. I said

(27:33):
that she'd been doing it much more recently.

Speaker 3 (27:36):
My mom agreed with me.

Speaker 5 (27:38):
Finally livid at this point and kept spluttering that it
wasn't the case.

Speaker 3 (27:45):
I then said that my.

Speaker 5 (27:46):
Google Reddit research, I read that it could be oh,
that it could be a comfort for anxiety, and asked
her was this if that is what that was. She
seemed very annoyed about my trying to diagnose her or
make it into an issue. In my opinion, she was
trying to be cute and funny, and I was ruining
it with my concern for her well being.

Speaker 6 (28:06):
That's a great way to go about it.

Speaker 5 (28:08):
She told me that I was being very weird for
thinking it's a big deal and for googling it. I
said I was doing this because she's far too old
to be talking like Yoda baby m. I then said
that if it wasn't a reaction to anxiety, could she
please stop because it annoys me a lot and I
don't want to be annoyed when I hang out with her.
Full props to Reddit for my paraphrasing here. And we

(28:29):
have more stories just like this on our podcast platforms.
Just search up okay story tom on Apple Spotify, where
we listen to podcasts, we got tons of.

Speaker 3 (28:36):
Crazy stories just like this. Holy cow, what okay? So
she's getting at her mentally.

Speaker 5 (28:41):
She's like, yeah, I feel like we're about to like
crack open the nut here.

Speaker 3 (28:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (28:45):
I think that's a great way to do it, because
like like that one person suggested, like ask if it's
a kink. Yeah, Like it's going like the opposite way,
a little more PG way that you know. It's like,
so why are you doing this? What is mentally like
going on? Do you need help? Are you okay? You know,
because like because it's very possible that there is you know,

(29:06):
And so I think I think that could ruin the
fun for her. She's just like reacts in a very
concerned way. Every every time she does that, She's just
like she's doing it again. That poor girl.

Speaker 5 (29:17):
How's your anxiety?

Speaker 3 (29:19):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (29:19):
Do you need to be okay?

Speaker 3 (29:20):
You are doing all right?

Speaker 6 (29:21):
How have you been?

Speaker 5 (29:23):
I could see her brain whirling as she tried to
calculate a reason to say no. But in the end,
my mom quietly interject with that's a reasonable request, isn't it?
And Alana gave a hefty, defeated sigh and said fine.

Speaker 3 (29:37):
Is that fine?

Speaker 5 (29:38):
I said, thank you, and we swiftly move on.

Speaker 1 (29:40):
Yay.

Speaker 3 (29:41):
I'm hopeful that that's the end of it.

Speaker 5 (29:43):
I am so glad I turned to write it for
this one, as all the advice worked perfectly, and I'm
going to try to keep it in mind with my
interactions with Alana going forward.

Speaker 6 (29:52):
Wow, finally we got through to her. Oh my goodness,
Oh my goodness.

Speaker 4 (29:58):
We're still going to do it behind closed doors?

Speaker 6 (30:00):
You thinks so, I'm sure, But honestly, I like, if
I knew someone like that, it's like, do it on
your own time. I can't be around you if you're
going to do that, I don't want to be in
childcare when I'm just hanging out with my sister. Didn't
sign up to babysit you.

Speaker 3 (30:14):
Yeah, that's that's it. Man.

Speaker 2 (30:17):
Hey, it's Sam, your og host. Here.

Speaker 3 (30:18):
We're gonna get back to the stories.

Speaker 2 (30:19):
But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 6 (30:22):
My brother's fiance keeps forcing herself to our family despite
our boundaries.

Speaker 5 (30:28):
Yeah, you're not supposed to show up with three fishes
at the family function.

Speaker 3 (30:32):
We just want one. Okay, that's my boundary.

Speaker 6 (30:35):
My female twenty five stepbrother, Nico twenty nine, has recently
got engaged to a woman called Jenny after dating for
two years. We all tried to welcome Jenny, especially knowing
that she grew up in the foster care system and
didn't have family. By the way, this comes from fs
in law on the r slash. Okay, story time is.

Speaker 5 (30:51):
Separate and that's the only reason, because she just didn't
have another family.

Speaker 3 (30:55):
We try to over her only.

Speaker 6 (30:57):
We tried to get to know her, but she seemed
to want an instant intimate connection rather than building one.
Me and my younger stepsister, Chelsea twenty two, bore the
brunt of her neediness, but our parents have also expressed concerns.
Since she met us, she has been trying to insert
herself into pictures, family disputes, and social events. She has
no boundaries. We've all talked to Nico about it so

(31:19):
many times, even sitting him down as a family, and
he keeps saying he will talk to her, but nothing changes,
and it's gotten worse since the engagement. She tried to
make me her maid of honor, demanded my mother throw
her a bridal shower, started calling my parents mom and
Dad even though they asked her not to, and reached
out to distant family members that we don't even talk
to to tell them about the engagement.

Speaker 4 (31:41):
Oh wow, that is a lot.

Speaker 6 (31:42):
Last week, we were all Chelsea, Nico, me and our
partners staying at our parents' place. Jenny, Nico and my
boyfriend were the only ones not up yet, and the
rest of us were in the kitchen. Chelsea, my mom,
and I were talking about taking a weekend trip. Jenny
came in, having overheard us, saying it sounded like fun,
and proceeded to invite herself along. I was a pretty
annoyed by this and said she couldn't just invite herself.

(32:03):
Jenny said, why wouldn't she be invited, and I said,
because marry Nico doesn't give you a blanket invite to
every single thing all his family does. Dang, wow, this
is that's a little harsh. I think. Jenny got upset
and said that she would really like to be included
in our family since it was the only one she
knows and she doesn't have a proper family. I said,

(32:24):
I know that, and we all sympathize, but that doesn't
mean that we owe you a new one.

Speaker 5 (32:30):
Dang, rough, I'm kind of gonna hand ope that you
don't really like this person.

Speaker 4 (32:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (32:37):
I feel like when you're like welcomed into a family
like that, like as a significant other, like you kind
of are accepted as the family, especially if you're gonna
marry him too, Like yeah, in the family.

Speaker 3 (32:48):
Yeah, yep.

Speaker 6 (32:49):
The whole room was silent, and Jenny got up and
went back upstairs. She didn't come out the rest of
the day, but Nico came down to chew me out
over what I said. Our parents defended me, saying he
had an opportunity to need to talk to Jenny and
he had it. He and Jenny left the same day,
and he's now only keeping low level contact with everyone.

Speaker 3 (33:06):
Okay, I think too.

Speaker 5 (33:08):
Earlier, whenever Jenny dunking on Jenny like Vince Carter, that
is so funny.

Speaker 3 (33:12):
Thank you for that. I know exactly what that means.

Speaker 5 (33:15):
Whenever she was talking about like Jenny wanted an immediate
intimate relationship, she was probably like something simple like hey,
was probably scrabble together, right.

Speaker 2 (33:24):
I know.

Speaker 6 (33:25):
I was expecting her like coming into conversation and being like, so, like,
what problems did you guys have as a family growing up,
Like did you guys have to go to therapy or something?
And you know, but she's just like trying to hang out.
Like I do get the like, you know, speaking to
relatives as she doesn't really know. That is a little weird.

Speaker 3 (33:41):
But it's not that bad gay girl.

Speaker 5 (33:44):
Just it's I don't know, it's just you're part of
the family. It's fine, Ya's fine, It's fine.

Speaker 6 (33:48):
I do feel bad, but I also feel like Jenny
has been overstepping. We are all open to a relationship
with her, we all have good relationships with our partners
in the family, but she never really made a genuine
effort to build relationships with us. She just she was
entitled to them, which I think isn't fair.

Speaker 5 (34:03):
Kat said this is because Angie said it was okay
to bully.

Speaker 6 (34:09):
Sorry guys, Ah, yeah, it's my fault.

Speaker 3 (34:12):
My bad, My bad, guys, it's all your fault.

Speaker 6 (34:14):
I don't know if I should reach out to Nico
or Jenny with a more fervent apology, which I will
if I have really screwed up here. I don't want
to be the one. I don't want to be the
reason Nico stops talking to us. I just feel like
he dropped the ball by letting it get to this point.

Speaker 2 (34:27):
Edit.

Speaker 6 (34:27):
Okay, I'm adding this because I thought it was implied,
but maybe not. We do push back when Jenny is
being intrusive. I can't count how many times I've said, Jenny,
I'm not comfortable about talking about my spicy sleep life, therapy, medication,
et cetera. It's really personal. Can we just change the subjects.

Speaker 3 (34:42):
Oh, okay, okay.

Speaker 6 (34:44):
That does change things. That does change things. Seems like
she is kind of invading the information a bit if.

Speaker 5 (34:52):
She's having us ask her multiple times to stop talking about.

Speaker 6 (34:54):
That, yeah, and also asking about spies us leap live
to your but your brother like sys we're a long
like how much?

Speaker 5 (35:01):
The only the only way I would ever talk to
my brother about it is like, how much are you
doing in a week?

Speaker 3 (35:05):
That's it?

Speaker 4 (35:06):
What the hell that's it?

Speaker 3 (35:08):
Or a month? Sorry Almont, he say, you want to.

Speaker 4 (35:11):
Talk about how many times you're doing it? It would be
like are you using protection?

Speaker 5 (35:14):
I don't care if he's doing that. Oh my god,
I want nephews and nieces. I want nibblings, sue me.

Speaker 6 (35:20):
We move on from the conversation, but the next time
I talked to her, it's back to square one. Say
with my parents, they politely ask her and not to
call them mom and dad, and she stops for the
duration of that conversation and then starts again. Next time.
We've never had a more in depth conversation with her,
We offered, and Nico said no, he would talk to her.
Edit number two for everyone saying I should consider Jenny

(35:40):
family because she's engaged to Nico. That isn't what I
meant with that comment. I commented this elsewhere, but I'm
copying it because it encapsulates when I was trying to
get across. I never said or meant that she isn't
a part of the family. I guess what I meant
with that. I guess what I meant with what I
said was you can't parash it yourself in and expect
us to be family you deserve, because the family every

(36:00):
person deserves is one with their mom and their dad,
and it's happy, and it's from birth, and you don't
have to do anything to earn it. Sadly, not everyone
gets that. I know I didn't, and I know how
much it must suck for her to feel like she
has to work for what other people got for free.
I have a crappy bio dad, so I kind of know.
You think, why do I have to be good and
clever and kind and a million other things to have

(36:22):
a good family, while all anyone else has to do
is just be born? And it's the worst. But when
you come into a family that already exists, that's the
way it is. They learn to love you, and it
takes time. My stepdad didn't love me the second he
met me, or love me just because he loved my mom.
He got to know me and figured out who I
was as a person, and he loved me for me.
We wanted to have that opportunity with Jenny, and maybe

(36:43):
that doesn't feel good enough for her, and I guess
it's not really fair that she doesn't have any other
kind of unconditional love. But I don't think that's up
to us or anyone to fix. That's just my view.
There's another update real quick.

Speaker 5 (36:56):
Robin van Horne earlier said that Jenny maybe on the
spectrum because if she's not really it was like a
while ago, key on, you're good. If she's not really
getting the hint not to talk about these certain subjects,
she might not like understand like I don't know, social cues. Yeah,
there might be a point. Yeah, maybe why she might
be acting a little bit not as warmly that OPI

(37:18):
would lie.

Speaker 3 (37:20):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 6 (37:21):
Seems like she's really trying, and I don't blame her
for that, but she's just really is trying in like
the wrong ways. Yeah, you get to know these people.
But there is another updates. Wow, that post blew up
in no small part to my extensive replies. While sitting
in an airport lounge on a layover, I am still
getting dms asking for an update, So here goes. First.
Thanks everyone for your advice I received some really insightful

(37:44):
messages and comments which were really helpful in heartfelt. Long
story short, we decided to have a session with a
family mediator. Oh wow, it was me, my boyfriend, Jenny, Nico,
my parents, and Chelsea. I'm not sure if I can
fit in all the insights from the session, so I'll
keep to key things. Firstly, for all was wondering if
Nico ever actually told Jenny what we said. Nico talked
to Jenny about our concerns precisely twice and a third

(38:07):
of the times we brought it up, she said it
was presented to her as an offhand comment from our parents,
rather than the intervention that it was. Second, basically, one
of the main things that came up was how Nico
kind of sold our family to Jenny as a blended
family she could slot into, and she got really invested
in that. Nico said that he kept hoping that it
would work, that it would all work itself out once

(38:28):
Jenny felt more secure in their relationship. Then came the
real crux. Jenny said that she wasn't just looking for
a relationship with Nico, but with a whole family, and
we all had a long discussion about what that looks
like for us in an ideal world, and it was
vastly different. Then the mediator asked her the question, if
you never get the relationships you want from this family,
do you think you'll still be able to have a

(38:49):
happy relationship. That's a good question, yeah, and she said
she didn't know.

Speaker 4 (38:54):
Wow.

Speaker 6 (38:56):
Interesting. Interesting, This kind of triggered Nico said he felt
like Jenny was making him feel like he wasn't enough
on his own and that she wanted a family from
him more than a relationship with you.

Speaker 5 (39:06):
She probably does like the big support Nico has as
a family. Yeah, and that's what she's attracted to.

Speaker 6 (39:11):
Yeah, I mean, like when you're in a relationship like
your family, like you, getting along with the family is
important and so you know, that's not like it shouldn't
be a factor, you know, if they don't like or
something like that. And then it's like maybe it's yeah,
you know, but it sounds like she has some some
things to soar out on her own with her trauma
growing up in the foster care system, and maybe it

(39:33):
might not be the best time for a relationship yet. Yikes.
Then Jenny got upset and said, why couldn't we all
just try to be the family she needed, which point
my boyfriend had an uncharacteristic moment of insanity and went
off on her. Then he and I left the room.
I was right in the middle of lecturing him when
everyone else came out except Niko and Jenny and said

(39:55):
that they needed the rest of the session to discuss
what had been said. By the way, you can more
stories like this on any of your favorite podcasts, app Spotify,
Apple Podcasts, whatever you so choose. Just search Okay Storytime
and you'll have full episodes stories just like this.

Speaker 3 (40:11):
But yeah, yeah, I just therapy.

Speaker 5 (40:15):
I think everyone can agree to your therapy, and she
probably needs some more reflecting to.

Speaker 3 (40:19):
Do, right, because I'll be honest.

Speaker 5 (40:21):
I know someone that got engaged seven weeks after they
started dating, and I know from a fact that the
girl is in a broken family, and I think it's
like a savior complex that the guy is engaged to
her so he can get her out of it because
his parents were in similar situations and they worked it
out because his dad saved the mom from a really

(40:41):
bad family situation.

Speaker 3 (40:43):
So he's just doing what he's been seen.

Speaker 6 (40:45):
Wow. Yeah, that's really interesting. It is, Yeah, because she
she was, you know, saying like, why can't we all
just be the family that like I need, you know,
But it's like, but we don't know you that well,
you know, like we we can't just like be a
family because like you know, obviously, I'm sure that they
like have some love for her, because they you know,
love Nico, but but it just doesn't you just don't

(41:08):
have that You can't just force that connection and just pretend.
But I mean, I guess, you know.

Speaker 5 (41:12):
But she doesn't know what a relationship looks like because
like growing up it was the government.

Speaker 6 (41:16):
Yeah, yeah, I guess, so like going from house to
house probably, but there is a little bit more, so
let's get on into it. Nico came back to our
parents place later and said that he and Jenny are
taking a beat because she's ruminating on what the mediator said,
and he's pretty crushed that she might not want to
be with him if he doesn't come with a ready
made family attached. He said he was prepared to pretty

(41:38):
much give up a family for her, but she won't
even give up the idea of one for him. Man,
He's now staying with my boyfriend and me until further notice.
We haven't had any further conversations with him and Jenny.
He's not in the headspace for it. If they stay together,
I foresee a lot more mediation. And at the end
of the day, everyone on the thread was right in
some way. I was an a hole for saying what

(42:00):
I said in the way I said it, and this
conversation between all of us should have happened earlier, and
that is the end of that story.

Speaker 4 (42:08):
Oh Man, good on op admitting like I was an ale.

Speaker 6 (42:12):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's nice. And I mean that shows
that there's possible progress too, if everyone can be self aware.
And it's good that they talk to a mediators so
they're looking for some help. That's that's good.

Speaker 3 (42:26):
Yeah, that's good.

Speaker 5 (42:27):
I offer to help my spoiled sister. Now the other
one is mad at me.

Speaker 6 (42:32):
You can't have favoritism.

Speaker 2 (42:37):
We passed.

Speaker 5 (42:39):
Sorry sorry now, I twenty six am the older brother
of two sisters, Maya nineteen and Tia twenty one. Our
parents are complete a holes. Maya was their golden child
and honestly a complete and utter spoiled b b or itch.

Speaker 3 (42:57):
B or do I say itch itch?

Speaker 6 (43:00):
I don't know either.

Speaker 5 (43:01):
Chat what you like out of respect. I'll say b
for Sofia. I get that's harsh to say about a kid,
but she was by the way, this comes from Throwaway
eighty on the r slash Okay story time, so I
brought it. She got special treatment and would always get
away with everything. Our parents basically encouraged it, despite basically
leaving me to raise my sisters so they could go

(43:22):
enjoy themselves. When I was eighteen, Tiya was thirteen, Amaya
was eleven, I moved out. I stayed in contact with Tiya,
though I quickly gave up on trying to connect with Maya. Honestly,
our parents and Maya were absolutely horrible to Tinya while
I was gone. So when she was eighteen, Tia moved
out and she stayed with me. I've made her get
some therapy and done my best to be a good brother,

(43:44):
and she's managed to be a lot happier since. Though
after that, I basically didn't see our parents or Maya. However,
last November, Maya randomly reached.

Speaker 3 (43:53):
Out to us.

Speaker 5 (43:53):
Tya just ignored it. But Maya is still my little sister,
so I gave her a chance. In the time without us,
she really missed us and realized how spoiled and cruel
she was.

Speaker 6 (44:05):
Okay, okay, progress question mark, are.

Speaker 3 (44:08):
We about to here?

Speaker 6 (44:09):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (44:10):
Are we I don't know. Let's see, I don't know.
I don't know. Maybe I am doubtful, but she did.

Speaker 5 (44:17):
The first step of progressing as a person is emitting
your wrongs exactly.

Speaker 6 (44:22):
First step is awareness.

Speaker 5 (44:23):
Apparently, part of how she treated Tia was jealousy of
how I was so close with her but not Maya,
though it obviously doesn't justify it. She had felt guilty
for a while but was scared to reach out in
case we'd reject her. She felt really sincere and was
really apologetic and seemed ashamed. I forgave her and we
started talking a lot. I became close to Maya really quickly.

(44:45):
We get along great now, and we're actually pretty similar.

Speaker 3 (44:48):
Or is she mirroring ooh.

Speaker 5 (44:51):
Interesting, Yeah, someone read a therapy book.

Speaker 3 (44:54):
We got some new terms.

Speaker 4 (44:55):
Yeah, all right, don't look at me like that.

Speaker 5 (44:58):
Unfortunately, Tia refuses to forgive her or even respond. I
think she's being a little unfair, but I understand how
she feels. From talking, I noticed that Maya seems to
be having a hard time at home. She wasn't going
to say anything, but ended up spilling when I pressed
on her. Our parents basically turned on her the moment
we left. She wasn't the gold child anymore and had
to suffer from our parents bs. Honestly, I'm ashamed to admit,

(45:20):
but I never considered how our parents would treat her
with us gone. With how horrible our parents are, I
wanted to ask her to move in with me.

Speaker 4 (45:27):
Now.

Speaker 5 (45:27):
I want to make it clear I'm the renter. The
rental agreement and bills and everything are all under my
name to your contributes. But since she's still in university,
my little sister is much less and unofficial. When I
brought up the idea, Tia was furious. She rejected it.
I tried to compromise and talk, but it went nowhere.
So in the end I told Tia I'm offering and

(45:49):
that she can be civil or I can help her
move somewhere else. Maya accepted coming to stay next week,
and Tia is pissed and feels I'm choosing the golden.

Speaker 3 (45:58):
Child over her. Hmm, yeah, I could see that.

Speaker 5 (46:02):
I can see that because time time again, TIA's you
know whatever Tya wanted was dismissed over and over and
over right.

Speaker 3 (46:10):
Right, Two things here.

Speaker 5 (46:13):
One, I feel like Tia needs an apology for Maya,
or at least get on the same page like OPI
did with Maya. Two playing a little game here? Oo
is she trying to get in so she can what?
What's the bird that like plants her baby egg into
the nest of the other ones and then pushes out
the other babies.

Speaker 3 (46:29):
That's a thing that.

Speaker 4 (46:30):
I think a couple birds do that.

Speaker 6 (46:32):
Yeah, I think conversations always help, right, Yeah, talking about
it somehow, trying to come up with like a solution
altogether that everyone would be happy about. That's always like
a great option. But I don't know. It's just a
tough situation.

Speaker 3 (46:44):
But I'm not.

Speaker 5 (46:44):
Maya is suffering and I want to help. She's a
different person now, understand Tea is her and I get
her anger, But Maya also needs me Right now, Tiya
is angry and our friends think it was an a
whole move. But Maya is my sister, and I don't
think it's wrong to help her. I helped Tina back
then too.

Speaker 3 (47:02):
Edit.

Speaker 5 (47:03):
I went to sleep with post stopping and didn't expect
to wake up to all this.

Speaker 3 (47:06):
There were so.

Speaker 5 (47:07):
Many so I wasn't sure how to respond to everyone,
so I just left it read and thought through it
a while. Here are a few things that clear up.
Maya isn't lying about this. I know my parents, and
Maya didn't even want to tell me about her issues
at home. There is basically no chance at all. There
is basically no chance it's a lie. And she has
tried and tried to talk to and apologize to Tia.

(47:27):
Tia just won't let her. I know what she did
in the past was horrible, but she isn't just manipulating
me to hurt Tia. Maya generally hated how she was
and just wants to live somewhere else and be safe,
happy and love. I get it wasn't enough, but the
timeline was admittedly poorly written. We started discussing it last month.

(47:48):
She knew this decision for a couple of weeks. While
I now see it as misguided and cruel, it wasn't
just a week. I don't know if it's appropriate to
go into depth, but Maya's acts against Tea were verbal
and psychological. It was disgusting, and I don't know how
deeply it hurt Tia. Our parents were mostly really neglectful,

(48:08):
aside from verbal slash emotional abuse and rewarding Maya for
being the golden child, being perfect and cruel meant she
would get their love, which neither of us did. Thanks
for everyone for those perspectives. I didn't realize how naive
I was being and thinking this would work out. I'm
going to try to see if friends can take Maya
in for now, and maybe if she can get her
own place. I'm going to try to be there for

(48:29):
them and ask TiO to forgive me for being so
short sighted and stupid. I hope it can eventually work
things out, but like people are saying, it might just
be a stupid pipe dream. I think the best plan
is to help get Maya a cheap flat or something nearby.
I'll help out where she needs it.

Speaker 3 (48:45):
Update.

Speaker 5 (48:46):
I want to see how this turns out after Op
denies Maya staying in their house. I just want to
know what happens. Will she freak out and be weird
or will all be okay because she's going to a
different place.

Speaker 6 (48:57):
Right right because she's had like a change in character,
do you think that would make her just kind of
undo all of that work and just kind of like
go back. But that's hard because I mean I do understand, like,
you know, TIA's feelings with having like, uh, that kind
that resentment towards them and then the whole situation, you know,
like that that's not really something that would be easy
to see. You know, if someone treats you poorly, you

(49:19):
don't want to see them succeed.

Speaker 5 (49:21):
Really, just yeah, jealous? Does they need family therapy? Do
you think that would work?

Speaker 6 (49:26):
It's worth a shot, honestly, because I mean, you know,
if they had a rough childhood and they had rough parents,
then they definitely weren't taught well maybe not definitely, but
they most likely you know, didn't learn very good like
emotional skills and like coping skills for that stuff and communication,
you know, So that would make sense that a lot
of this stuff is still built up and that resentment
is still like held pretty firmly, you know. Yeah, So

(49:50):
I think some kind of therapy would help, whether it's
you know, single, one on one or if it's family.

Speaker 3 (49:55):
Yeah, I agree, I agree. Yea.

Speaker 5 (49:57):
I posted this last year trying to help my gold
child's sister Maya at the expense of my other sister, Tia.
I didn't expect so many responses or the hate I got, though,
I realized how badly I fed up. While I still
think how people wrote about Maya was disgusting and unfair.
How I treated Toa it was cruel and ignorant. I
was trying to help everyone and be practical, but I
neglected it to properly consider the emotional side, while unintentionally

(50:21):
I was just ignoring TIA's pain and trauma. The responses
were a wake up call and I realized I was
going to ruin everything. Well, it wasn't meant that way.
It would just hurt Tia and ruin our relationship. I
managed to convince some of friends to let Maya stay
with them and look for a place. Currently, Tiya still
lives with me, while I found a cheap one bedroom
for Maya. It's been rough financially, but I managed to

(50:42):
get everything my sisters need. A few sacrifices don't matter
compared to them. Maya helped adjusting and learning to be independent,
so I didn't have to focus on her initially, but
Tia absolutely hated me for giving her any attention and
it was extremely difficult at first, but It got a
lot better as Maya adjusted and grew more independent and
I could balance my time better. It was not perfect,

(51:05):
but we've gotten into rhythm the best way we can.
Maya has growne up a lot and can mostly live
by herself now, though I obviously still help. Therapy has
really helped her. She's made a lot of friends at university.

Speaker 6 (51:16):
All right, that's great.

Speaker 3 (51:18):
I love these updates.

Speaker 6 (51:20):
We love therapy.

Speaker 3 (51:21):
Ah, yes, yes.

Speaker 5 (51:23):
While she still wants TIA's forgiveness, she's accepted it's not
her control and try not to focus on her living
and try and has focused on her living and improving herself.

Speaker 3 (51:34):
Really happy.

Speaker 5 (51:35):
She's free of our parents' influence. She's nothing like she
used to be, though I do wish I had tried
harder when she was younger, rather than giving up. Tia
isn't completely happy. I don't think she'll ever forgive Maya,
and I've done my best to make it clear. I
love her and Maya isn't my favorite, but it's been hard.
We get joint therapy that helps a lot, but she
still wishes it was just us. She still she's finally

(51:58):
able to understand that helping Maya isn't rejecting her. I'm
so thankful and lucky Tiya could forgive me. She means
the world to me. I never intended to hurt her,
though I clearly completely fed up my approach. We basically
just avoid Maya. We basically just avoid the Maya situation
and have managed to get back to normal. She's such
a strong woman. I'm honestly so proud of her and

(52:18):
so ashamed of how short sighted I was. And you
don't have to be short sighted because you can listen
to stories just like this on your favorite podcast platform.
Just search up Okay, Storytime wherever you get your podcasts,
Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever.

Speaker 3 (52:30):
Look it up. We have plenty of stories. Yeah, dude,
therapy is great.

Speaker 5 (52:34):
Yes, I just I know everyone's kind of weird about forgiveness,
But I hope that, like I don't know what Maya
did to Tea, but I hope that one day Tia
can like maybe not be friends with her, but just
like just forgive Maya. They don't have to talk, they
don't have to be buddies, that she can just forgive
her and just so she doesn't have this weight on her.

Speaker 3 (52:54):
Yeah, I hope that.

Speaker 4 (52:55):
One dya get rid of all the hate and the
anger and just let it go.

Speaker 3 (52:59):
Yeah it is.

Speaker 5 (53:00):
I mean, I don't know what happened, but dang, but Tia,
I'm just glad the sisters are out of the house.

Speaker 3 (53:04):
I think that's it.

Speaker 6 (53:05):
Yeah, that's that's good. And therapy is always great too.
I love the therapy updates.

Speaker 3 (53:11):
Yeah, me too too.

Speaker 6 (53:12):
It's such like a sigh of relief because it's like, oh, yeah,
Greddie could only do so much, you know.

Speaker 3 (53:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (53:18):
As selfish as it is, a part of me will
always wish Tia could forgive her, but I know that's
impossible and selfish. I don't think Tia will ever fully
accept that Maya is a part of my life. The
most I'll get is Tiya and Maya being in one
building or my wedding. But honestly, that's enough for me.
There both victims of our parents, and I'm just glad
they can both be happy and free. Well, it's not

(53:39):
a fairy tale ending. Everything is going well and I'm
glad I can. I posted and I was able to
fix my horrible mistake.

Speaker 6 (53:46):
That's good.

Speaker 3 (53:47):
That's good, and that's it.

Speaker 5 (53:49):
No more there wow wow, yeah, no, that is incredible. Dude,
good for you. I mean you you sacrificed a lot
to get your sisters out of there. In absolutely good
for you, man, that's amazing.

Speaker 6 (54:00):
Yeah, that's a lot of weight to put on yourself too,
So like, yeah, you know, have some forgiveness with yourself
of like you know, making mistakes here and there, because
like you're a victim of the parents too, right, like
you know you're not You're not their parents. So but yeah, good,
good on EUOPI. I think you handled that really well.

Speaker 5 (54:19):
Yeah, really well.

Speaker 6 (54:20):
You you saw your mistakes, you apologize for them and
worked through it, and you're doing everything that you can.

Speaker 1 (54:28):
Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to the stories.
Put a quick three minute ad break from our sponsors
that keep the show going.

Speaker 2 (54:33):
My fiance's daughter accused me of marrying for financial motives.
Now I don't care if she skips our wedding, all
the money is gone. Yeah, first time poster, but I
want to know if I'm the a hole. This might
be long. I apologize. I thirty five female and my
forty seven male fiance have been together for going on
five years. He proposed a little over a year ago

(54:56):
and we've been planning ever since. By the way, this
comes from user Pruction South six sixty nine, and you
can submit your story to the r slash Showkay Storytime.
Subreadit a little background. I have two children, thirteen male
and ten female from a previous relationship. My fiance has
two children as well. P twenty five female and a
twenty eight female. We're gonna make that Priscilla and Aubrey,

(55:19):
which I was incredibly close with both. My fiance has
stepped up to help me raise my children in the
best way possible. Their dad is active in their lives,
and I pay their way for everything in our house.
My fiance makes double what I do, so we worked
out a system in the house with bills and such.
I've never asked him to pay for anything for my
children or myself and have always been self sufficient. My

(55:39):
fiance is a wonderful man. We don't fight or argue
and have an amazing relationship. We laugh, enjoy each other,
and are genuinely happy. His daughters were very active with
helping me plan the wedding. They were both supposed to
be bride'smaids. I bought them each little gifts to ask them,
and the gifts mirrored their interests. Daughter Aubrey has four
children to three different men, with one on the way.

(56:02):
We're all very active in the children's lives and I
love them as my own. Her and I were the
closest out of the two, and now I'm seeing that
she was just using me to take her demon seeds
off her hands and used my love for them to
use me. My bridal shower was three weeks ago. His
daughters were supposed to come, and only Priscilla showed up.

(56:24):
I figured Aubrey wasn't feeling good with the pregnancy and
couldn't make it. I asked Priscilla where Aubrey was, and
she got quiet. Priscilla proceeded to tell me that Aubrey
doesn't believe her father is happy and wants me to
get a prenup. I was shocked. Her father has a
good job but doesn't make enough to warrn a prenup,
but if my fiance would ask, I would gladly sign it,

(56:44):
since I've never relied on anyone for anything. I laughed
it off, and Priscilla apologized and told me she knows
her dad is happy, and everyone in their family likes
me because they've never seen him this happy. I told
her I loved her and I appreciated her coming and
figured I would deal with it later. We all had
a great time and just enjoyed the day. I completely
popped the prenup thought out of my mind and focused

(57:06):
on planning the wedding, my full time job, my children,
daughter Priscilla, and my fiance. Fast forward to this week.
I have reached out to Aubrey numerous times with no response.
Same as her father, I'm not someone who lets people
walk all over me, and I'm a lot worse when
someone tries to walk all over my sweeter than sweet fiance.

(57:26):
So I decided to drop by her apartment to have
a conversation with her after work one day. She doesn't work,
so I knew she would be home. I knocked and
she came to the door and asked what I wanted.
I asked her if we could have a conversation, and
she locked the screen door to protect herself. I would
never harm my fiance's daughters, his grandchildren, or anyone else
for that matter, so I was kind of blown away.

(57:48):
I asked her what I could do to fix our
relationship and what I did wrong. I kept getting different answers,
and none of them sounded like an issue to me,
but they might have been to her, so I just listened.
She told me she thinks her dad's laugh is fake
with me, and he's pretending he's happy, among other things.
Then finally a little truth came out after the back
and forth. She told me that she didn't want me

(58:10):
to live in the house her dad owns if something
happens to him and it should go to her. Then
she decided to tell me the only reason she talked
to me was because I would watch her demon seeds
at the drop of a dime when she didn't feel
like dealing with them. I told her I could give
a crap about the house, and I wasn't with her
father for his house. She told me that she didn't

(58:31):
want me on his life insurance policy either.

Speaker 3 (58:33):
Here's the kicker with this.

Speaker 2 (58:35):
My fiance has a good job, but I work for
the office of our state officials. I have a life
insurance policy worth two hundred and fifty K, which one
hundred and seventy five goes to my children. He has
one for fifty K, which goes to his kids. I
don't care about anything he has. We've worked out the
details of our finances and our living wills when we
got engaged. His house is paid off, our vehicles are

(58:57):
paid off. I bought and paid for mine car myself.
We have no debt. I sold my house that I
bought and paid for and moved in with him, which
we are planning on investing that into property. She knows
none of this because it's none of her business. But
the fact is neither of us are stupid with our
money or finances, so I don't need his finances to survive.
I told her I was a single mom for six

(59:18):
years and had everything I did from working two jobs,
and I'm not with him for any financial gain whatsoever.
She told me she would not be attending our wedding.
She didn't want anything to do with me. I came
home and told my fiance and he seems upset, but
not surprised. We're a month and a half away from
the wedding and I'm not worrying about her not coming
or fixing whatever issue she has with me. Am I

(59:39):
the ahole clarification. Just want to clarify a few things quickly.
My fiance and Aubrey had a strange relationship before I
came along. She had stolen fifteen hundred dollars from him
and also opened an electric bill in his name and
ran it up to three K. He noticed it on
his credit report when he bought a new motorcycle again.
Way before me, I was financially helping her with the kids,
as she is now a single mom again a long

(01:00:00):
with her maternal grandmother and her own mother as well.
Priscilla has been paying her car payment for her recently.
Aubrey lives in low income housing so she has no rent,
and I also live in a state that they pay
you to live there. I help them mend their relationship,
which was a task because I invited her to holidays
and special occasions which she refused to come to for
the first year her dad and I were together. Her

(01:00:20):
dad finally started reaching out to her and she decided
to come around. I have rental properties, as does he.
They are separately owned. He has six and I have two.
The new properties we're investing in will be in both
of our names, which the girls are set to inherit.
The six he has and my children are set to inherit.
The two I have. The ones we own together will
be split between all four kids when I pass. The

(01:00:42):
girls are aware of this. They are also aware that
when something happens to their father, we have an agreement
that I stay here if I choose to. I don't
even know if I will want to live here without him.
I can't sell it and it will be left to Priscilla.
Thanks everyone for the kind words. My fiance is going
to talk with her to tomorrow while I'm out of
town on a girl's trip. I will update everyone Sunday

(01:01:04):
when I'm home and we have the update right now.

Speaker 4 (01:01:07):
Let's get into it.

Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
Let's dive in. I don't know if I'm doing this correctly.
You are. I read that this is how you do it.
You did so. If I'm doing it incorrectly, you're not.
I'm sorry. It's okay, I'm sorry. I told everyone I
would update them on Sunday, but after my girl's trip,
I was feeling pretty tough. My fiance was going to
speak to Aubrey on Saturday while I was gone. We
spoke about the boundaries I have said in place, which

(01:01:30):
he supports. I told him that I know him and
Aubrey have been in no contact before because of the
money that she stole, but I never wanted to be
the reason they are no contact, and he agreed. Now,
before I tell you about the conversation, I have to
give you some context. Em was in a very toxic
relationship for ten years and they split a little over

(01:01:52):
two years before he met me. The ex tried to
contact him for two years into our relationship, with my
fiance changing his number, putting up cameras around our house,
and the last straw was getting a restraining order. Somehow
the X would get his new number and contact him
prior to him getting a PFA, and we could never
figure out how she hasn't contacted him since the PFA,

(01:02:16):
in it has been quiet. Another thing to note is
that my fiance is six' five and weighs two hundred
and forty. Pounds he's fit and takes really good care of.
Himself i'm five nine and weigh two hundred pounds and amn.
Chubby this has never come up in our, relationship and
my fiance has made sure THAT i know he loves
every part of. Me he always has dated, short skinny.
Bonds i'm sure it came as a shock when he

(01:02:36):
got with a, chubby tall, redhead but the way he
loves me is never in question now the, Conversation aubrey
told my fiance that she BELIEVES i have put a
spell on him because he's never dated someone so huge. Before,
oh so she's fat. Phobic, dang she.

Speaker 4 (01:02:52):
Sucks she's body, shaming, yes and that's not.

Speaker 2 (01:02:55):
Good so this was her reasoning for mentioning she wants
me to get a. Prenup she then told him that
she has been in contact with his ex throughout our
entire relationship and has been trying to get him and
his ex back together because she fits his body. Type, yo.

Speaker 4 (01:03:10):
You're out of.

Speaker 2 (01:03:11):
Here why do you care so much who your dad's.
Dating priscilla has told me how awful her dad's last
relationship was and how her and him decided to go
to therapy together once it was, over which my fiance
had already told me about the relationship and the. Therapy
BUT i always Let priscilla vent to me about whatever
she needed, to and most days it was about THE

(01:03:31):
x and how bad And aubrey hated. Her priscilla was
so upset to find out That aubrey had been in
contact with THE x and that she gave THE x
all of the new Numbers priscilla and my fiance tried
to reason With aubrey and explained how shallow she. Sounds
With aubrey kicking them both out of her, apartment my
fiance was devastated that anyone would look at my weight
and consider me huge and not look at how wonderful

(01:03:53):
of a PERSON i. Am those are his, words not.
Mine priscilla and fiance both decided to Cut aubrey. Off
priscilla is no longer makee payments on her, vehicle and
my soon to be mother in law has cut ties
with her as. Well the DAYS i didn't have the,
kids my fiance's mother. Did priscilla called me about forty
minutes ago to tell me THAT cps is At aubrey's
because the neighbor called them on. Her the neighbor Called

(01:04:14):
priscilla to tell her that she was worried for the
kids safety and felt obligated to. Call my fiance has
contacted the fathers and told them they have our support
with whatever they decide to. DO i also talked to
fiance about maybe taking the kids if the fathers decide
they don't want, them and he. Agreed and by the,
WAY i agree that you can listen to full episodes
with stories like THIS i agree. To all you have

(01:04:35):
to do is go To Apple podcasts Or spotify or
wherever you get your podcasts from and. Search, okay story
time really quick before we finish. THIS i think we're
all in consensus here on who the a hole.

Speaker 4 (01:04:43):
Is, oh one hundred.

Speaker 2 (01:04:44):
Percent it's crazy though That aubrey like was being this
so nasty and like people are helping her pay her,
rent people are helping her pay her car, bills people
are helping her take care of her, kids still being
nasty and like she's just an entitled piece of crap.
Person the father of the children are all very good
men with good jobs to be able to support the.

(01:05:04):
Kids my fiance has maintained a good relationship with the
fathers over the. Years for the, kids the fathers all
have fifty to fifty, custody so birthday parties and things
were usually. Combined i'll update again if anything else. Happens
at this, Point i'm just Hoping aubrey gets some much
needed therapy and the help that she. Needs thank you
all for the, support also for the well. WISHES i

(01:05:24):
appreciate you all so. Much and that is the. End
of that. Story. Wow, YEAH i hope everybody gets the
help they. Need aubrey clearly needs, help the kids need.

Speaker 4 (01:05:33):
Help good on o pd' be like with everything that went,
through she still Like aubrey needs.

Speaker 2 (01:05:39):
Help, yeah that is the end of that. Story

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I accidentally REVEALED the TRUTH about my husband and brother… now everything is ruined! - r/AmITheAsshole | Reddit Stories | EP2080

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}I accidentally REVEALED the TRUTH about my husband and brother… now everything is ruined! - r/AmITheAsshole | Reddit Stories | EP2080