I caught my Boyfriend messaging other Women… for the THIRD Time! | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is cole Minor, John, this is coal Miner Sale,
and we have been digging for stories on the Okay
Storytime podcast as long as we can remember saying.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
And we've found some diamonds of the rough, how haven't we? John?

Speaker 1 (00:10):
That's right? But before we do that, we have to
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Speaker 2 (00:18):
My boyfriend keeps messaging cam girls. This is the third
time I've caught him.

Speaker 3 (00:24):
Well, I'm about to message him that we're breaking up.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
My boyfriend twenty six male and I twenty four female,
have been dating for over a year and a half now,
and besides this one issue, we get along swimmingly. I
love this man so much and know that he loves me,
but he has hurt me for possibly the last time.
By the way, this comes from user hurt but Hopeful

(00:48):
one two three, four five, And if you want to
submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay
Storytime subreddit. So this is the third time one two
three count him up that he has done this? Yes,
and I am sick with rage and don't know what
to do. We know what to do become a cam girl.

Speaker 3 (01:06):
Fool me one's shame on me. Fol me twice is
shame on you.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
I am his first serious relationship ever. Before we got together,
he was messaging camgirls since he was seventeen and sending
them money. Is this the male loneliness problem reading its
ugly head right now? He is a real sweetheart, my boyfriend,
but not too social. I was the one who made
the first move and asked him out. A month into
our relationship. I was on Twitter and connecting my contacts.

(01:31):
I added his email and an account with the handle
at steam for Mayhem, not an actual account, but along
those lines. Curious I clicked on this account and was
shocked beyond belief. I don't have the energy to go
into what the finn Dom community is like, but do
a quick Google search and you'll get the idea. People
who don't know what that is. It's where it's like

(01:52):
I give you money and you're like, you're gross for
giving me money, and then I give you more money.
So they're essentially just paying money to be demeaned, and
then they pay more money. So that is what his
account was like, and also had pictures of himself in
subclothing The account had not been used in two years,
but I was still upset about it. I talked about
it with him, and he was extremely remorseful and said

(02:14):
he was too embarrassed to tell me. I forgave him
and said that if he had questions or concerns to
talk to me, and that I wouldn't judge him for
his past. He deleted the account. Cut to six months later.
I have his phone and I'm using it to find
a place to go to breakfast. An email pops up,
thanking him for a transfer of one hundred dollars to PayPal.
We are not rich people, and he had recently been

(02:36):
complaining about finances that day, but wanted to take me
out because I wasn't feeling well. This made me feel
worse as I did something I never did with any
of my other boyfriends. I snooped, snooped hard. I found
out that he had been sending money to multiple women
and asking them to do or say certain things for

(02:59):
about a month. This took a week to do and
I waited to see if he would come clean and
talk to me, and he didn't. I broke down and
confronted him and he denied it to me. To my face.
I didn't talk with him for three days before he
came over and talked with me and said he had
a problem, that it was hard to adjust, and that
he didn't tell me because he didn't want to lose
me or leave me. And I know that's a crappy reason,

(03:22):
but I had fallen for him at this point and
I really had deep feelings for him, and I still do.
He blocked her. I gave him an ultimatum, do this again,
and I'm leaving.

Speaker 3 (03:32):
Are we counting this as the second strike or the
first strike?

Speaker 2 (03:35):
I think this is strike number two.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
So the first strike was just that he had a passed.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
Because of my lost trust and paranoia, I did something
that was really uncool, and I added my fingerprint to
his phone so I could access it quicker. And if
you're doing this, folks, it's time to leave.

Speaker 3 (03:51):
It's time to leave. You can't get away with this.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
Is this something you want to do forever? So I
never did use the fingerprint, but a week ago I
told him about it and he was visibly upset, but
not too angry. Something about his reaction didn't sit right
with me and made me extremely suspicious. We were dog
sitting for a friend. I forgot to mention that we
don't live together, and I have not trusted him since
I found out about this last incident. I've been having

(04:18):
conversations with him that I felt like he was hiding
something from me and that he wasn't being open enough.
So I asked him every day and he said nothing
was wrong. I looked through his phone while he was
sleeping and found videos that he had paid for, and
I was so sick I couldn't sleep. And you know what,
stop doing it.

Speaker 3 (04:37):
Break up with them.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
You're snooping and you're finding the stuff you should be snooping,
I guess, but if you already have to snoop, it's over.
I couldn't believe that he did this again. He lied
to me again. He found me on the couch and
asked me if I was okay, and all I could
do was stare at him. He knew instantly. He immediately
confessed and admitted that he was wrong and made a

(04:59):
huge mistake. I asked him to show me the messages
and was appalled at what I saw. I almost exiled
him from the house. The messages we're so that I
read them aloud and he just hung his head in shame. Oof.
Going through more messages, I found out he video chatted
with one of them and talked about me very negatively,
but also that he felt kind of guilty about what

(05:20):
he was doing. Not sure if that was a part
of the spicy hobby or not, being like I don't
like my girlfriend, but I'm so guilty that I'm sending these,
buying these Why I have a girlfriend, I don't know.
But you know what, regardless, girl, this guy's got some
stuff to figure out, and he could do it without you.
He apologized over and over, and I just and still

(05:41):
can't grasp why he did it again. We are going
to see my family for Thanksgiving, and then we're going
to go to New York and then Disney World for Christmas.
He calls me every day. We hang out together every day.
He talked about moving in together for the past six months.
Sy he's been doing this since August. We talked for
over two hours and we came to the conclusion that
we want to work it out, but that he needs help.

Speaker 3 (06:03):
Ah.

Speaker 2 (06:05):
Not the move I would take, but it is true.
Clearly this guy does need help.

Speaker 3 (06:09):
He does, but you don't need to be there while
he's getting that help, you could be somewhere else.

Speaker 2 (06:14):
He has given me all the passwords to his social media, emails,
bank accounts. This was at his request, not mine. I
messaged the women and told them I was not upset
with them because they were just doing their job and
fulfilling a fantasy. They apologized and gave me their condolences
and understood. They blocked him, and he blocked them and
deleted their messages. He wants to go to a therapist
tomorrow and talk about this because he says he really

(06:37):
doesn't want to lose me because he was at a
little dumb But I just don't know. Okay, I still
love him, but he's hurt me multiple times. I know
this subreddit is quick to say give up, but I
really think if we get help, things will be okay.
But this hurts a lot wrong.

Speaker 3 (06:53):
Listen to the people who are saying give up.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
If this is a once in a lifetime bond and
it's this one thing that he clearly has, like a
fixation that he had gained, not even in adulthood, maybe,
but the moment you feel like you need to snoop again,
it's over.

Speaker 3 (07:09):
The thing is like, not only is he lying, to you,
but you're lying to him every time you Snoop.

Speaker 2 (07:14):
I don't want to go through this again, and I
don't know if a therapist will help. And there's an update,
let's dive in. He is going to a therapist on
Friday by himself. He saw the post and thinks everyone
is right and feels like a piece of crap.

Speaker 4 (07:26):
Maybe he likes that, That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (07:28):
I feel like he likes that. He's into that.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
You know, wants me to go with him after his
first appointment, and I'm still unsure what I'll do on
the fence about it. He's taking a step and I
don't know that he can do better, and told him
that I'm not here to help him, and if he
wants to do better, he has to do so for himself.
Willing to work on it as long as he does too.
Thank you all again for the solid advice and messages.
And there's some comments here comment number one. Honestly, I

(07:53):
get the vibe that he's turned on by you finding
out and berating him for it, so that's why he continues, OPI.
I asked him if that was the case, and he
said it was more the idea of me finding out
than me actually finding out. That was the spicy related part.
Break up with him. You can't work with that. He
regrets how much pain this has put me in and

(08:14):
is not turned on by seeing me break down over this, which,
by the way, newsflash, if that was the case, he
would never say that, because that's psychotic. I wonder is
this guy a cannibal? And this guy was like, look,
I don't wanna taste what you taste like at all.
I'm uninterested in consuming you. A Cannibal's not gonna tell

(08:35):
you they want.

Speaker 4 (08:36):
To eat you.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
I have an impregnation fetish and love the idea of it,
but don't want children. If it did happen, I would
be devastated. Girl, What did you just say? Do you
just like the rush of it? It's a nine month rush.
No excuses on his part, just his answer. I don't
know if I believe him. Comment to how is he
going to fix this? How is he showing he's going

(08:57):
to get help? Opie says, who knows? I's tom nat
king him questions? Go break up with him? I told
him showing is better than telling. I'm not giving you
ideas of what I want. Ask me what I want
besides dinner. Be invested as you were with their videos
and their pay pig, as you should be with me
as a person. If not, I'm gone, and there is
an update.

Speaker 3 (09:16):
Be gone, go stop staying there.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
Sometimes the simplest solution is to be gone, just moving
on with our lives. Update. I wasted another year of
my life. Wow, we're all shocked by trying to help
a person that never helped themselves, and I'm paying for
it in every way imaginable. I introduced him to the
stop Findam's subreddit. We went to therapy three times, only

(09:44):
initiated when I caught him. I tried avoiding it. I
tried confronting him. Nothing worked because he never stopped the cycle.
I was going to study abroad in Asia in December,
and I did not need this on my mind before
I went so very impromptu. On November sixteenth, I decided
I could not be with him anymore. I was sick
of feeling used and lied to about something that he
didn't need to lie about. I didn't have solid proof.

(10:06):
I just had it mentally because I felt he was
hiding something from me. So this is strike number three
right here.

Speaker 3 (10:11):
You literally have so much proof, and you looked at
it and you said, nah, we're gonna try again.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
Learn from these mistakes. Folks, When someone's kink is lying
to you and you being upset, you can't stay with
that guy who's gonna do that to you over and
over and over again. I felt he was hiding something
for me, and he wasn't trying to fix our relationship
at all, even though he swears up and down that
he did. Instead of handling it well, he shows me
an engagement ring his mom gave to him as I

(10:37):
was breaking up with him and begged me to stay again.
We didn't speak at all while I was away, and
I wish it had stayed that way. I came back
over the January and our lease isn't up until February,
so I decided we could live together until then. And
it was great until Monday, or at least I thought so. Anyway.
We were talking openly about our feelings and he kept

(10:57):
apologizing for everything that went wrong. I still wanted to
be my friend hard No, it wasn't until this last
Monday that he got a new phone and switched over
his simcard to his new one while he was at work.
His old phone kept going off, so I looked at it.
I fully acknowledged that since we aren't together, I had
no rights to go through his phone. But the crap

(11:17):
I found makes me feel no guilt whatsoever. If anything,
I'm proud I can see him for who he actually is.
Grow It took you too long. Can't be proud.

Speaker 3 (11:25):
You can't be that proud if you get the answer
like four years later. You can't be that proud.

Speaker 2 (11:30):
You literally started this story with I wasted another year
of my life. Can't be proud of that. I found
out he went to see one of the doms he
was cheating on me with in La and never stopped
talking to her even before we broke up. And he's
fifteen thousand dollars in debt from sending multiple doms money.

Speaker 3 (11:48):
That's shocking, that's news.

Speaker 2 (11:50):
He always told me. One of the traits he doesn't
like about me is how badly I handled money. Hor
horror projecting. Much after I saw this, I puked, packed
a bag and left. I texted him that I am leaving,
and unless it was about the apartment, I never wanted
to hear from him again. We've been avoiding each other since.
I've been slowly moving my things out and putting it
in storage, and I just feel emotionally defeated. I went

(12:13):
through three months worth of messages and found a few
interesting things other than than the spicy picks and videos,
pretty subpar spicy texting as well. He acknowledges that he
lied and that he had an immediate connection with her,
to which she replies that's called deceit, not cheating. He's
glad that it was her, Glad that he can finally
make someone happy, Glad he can please his goddess, glad

(12:35):
to be free, upset that I never understood him. Wow,
what a goof lol, girl, you're being goofy right now.
You're a pan of goofs.

Speaker 4 (12:44):
You entertained this girl.

Speaker 2 (12:45):
And now you're looking at stuff you don't even need
to look at if you're.

Speaker 3 (12:48):
Sitting there watching a comedian you paid for that man.

Speaker 2 (12:51):
So, he is so disillusioned and addicted to this lifestyle
that he genuinely believes she cares about him and that
he's in the right. He thinks she's actual his friend
while she goes out to dinner with her boyfriend with
his money and is using him for emotional support, something
he complained about to her about me and how he
loved emotionally effing with me. See there it is. She's

(13:12):
being paid thousands of dollars to stroke their ego, though,
so I think I would understand that you have to
keep the customer happy. She got five hundred dollars out
of that LA visit, which is pretty impressive. If you
ask me, just stop move on with your life. Your
hobby can't be digging into your ex boyfriend's weird findom habits.
I feel like I should say that I respect spicy
sleep workers in everything that they do a lot, but

(13:34):
this specific dom is manipulative and has no boundaries. She's
a half bake amateur and best who really has no
clue on how to even pretend to know what she's doing.
She gives actual doms a bad name. This is the
twist OPI is now going to become a DOM and
get her gross ex back. By becoming the dom, She's
going to put him into another fifteen thousand dollars worth

(13:56):
of debt after the breakup. Anyone who is a proper
domb and actually cared about their subs well being would
never do the crap that these two concocted like sending
me a picture of her butt and saying she only
did it because he asked her to, asking him how
he's going to spoil me today, and him telling her
that she's going to take me to get my nails
done as a surprise, him telling her how unappreciative I

(14:16):
am of his gifts because they don't feel genuine, which
they weren't. I never consented to any of this, and
this crap has f me up for life. But get this,
she's an advocate for mental wellness. What a joke. She
praised him for getting out of a toxic relationship and
was glad he could be free from all of my
nagging and that I wouldn't hold this over his head anymore. Again,
either she's really good at customer satisfaction or really crappy person,

(14:37):
more than likely both. But he never told her that
I was the one who actually ended the relationship. But yeah,
he never changed. He talked a big game, but is
so deep into the world of cam girling and himself
that he's willing to risk everything for it. I should
have listened to everyone's advice and left when I had
the chance. Yeah, you shut up. I shouldn't have moved
in with him. Instead, I was emotionally mistreated by a

(14:59):
self absorbed person who felt that he did everything he could.
A direct quote he said to the Finn Doom he
never stopped talking to for the past six months. To
those that are questioning and still have hope for the hopeless,
get out while you can. You can't change anyone that
doesn't want to change themselves. You can't convince someone they're
in the wrong once they see they're in the right.
You may think that other people may not know them

(15:20):
as well as you do. It's just something you tell
yourself to avoid the actual truth that you're sacrificing yourself
for someone who won't even do the same for you.
Take care of yourself first, because you're only damaging yourself
in the long run. Sorry if this looks all over
the place, By the way, as happy as I am
that I made the decision to leave, I am super
depressed and feel like I failed. I know this is

(15:42):
all his fault, but I feel like I should have
seen this coming. That besides this one thing, he was amazing,
but it was a lie. Read it really helped me
and the last time, and that's the only reason I'm
posting here because I haven't slept in the past three
days and could really use some support. And we'll probably
regret posting this later. And there's another up.

Speaker 4 (16:00):
Dude, just get out.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
You haven't slept in three days.

Speaker 4 (16:02):
Over this guy, Over this guy and him talking about
these came girls.

Speaker 2 (16:06):
You should be sleeping like a little baby wrapped in
a nice, warm blanket. But you know, sometimes time provides perspective.
Sometimes we want to take steps backwards, but instead we
had to take steps forwards. Update Holy Canoli. I went
to sleep and came back to one thousand up votes.

Speaker 4 (16:23):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (16:23):
Thanks for the platinum and it's over. I truly appreciate it.
The comments are overwhelming and I'm trying to upboate them all,
but I am beyond grateful. And here's a couple of
notes for those that don't google Findama's financial domination. I
don't have a problem with this. We actually tried it together.
I was uncomfortable with it, mainly because I linked it
with his cheating. In line, I expressed that I wanted
to be monogamous, and he stated that he wanted help

(16:44):
and he felt sick and wanted to change. I said
that if this is what he wants to do. That's fine,
and I'm fine with that, but I just don't want
to be deceived and used. Just communicate with me. But
as I found out from the messages, he loved emotionally
manipulating me and loved to see me hurt. He got
all off on my pain, which is a direct quote,
which again, the person who does that is never going
to tell you to your face that they do that.

(17:05):
It's like asking the guy who robbed the bank, did
you rob the bank? That's kind of what you did.
He also had a home wrecking fetish, but I guess
it loses the appeal if I consent to the home wrecking.
And by the way, you can home wreck us all day,
every day. All you have to do is go to
any podcast platform, be it Spotify, Apple Podcasts, wherever you
get your podcasts, search Okay story Time, and there you

(17:28):
can listen to full episodes with stories like this. And
right now we're at forty nine days worth of stories
for you to listen to, and we're always adding more.
Let's finish this story, and we have a mini rant.
Don't do this to partners who have no interest in
your spicy hobbies or you have not had that conversation
with them on what they are okay within the relationship. Communicate,

(17:51):
give them the option to decide on what they're comfortable with,
not what you think they're okay with. Don't hurt someone
else if they express his interest and give you an
open opportunit needed to leave, but you are so selfish
that you'd rather lie to them and put up a
facade of wanting help. And that is the end of
that story. And I feel like, OHPI has earned that
because you did go through a lot. However, how much

(18:12):
of it was self imposed. You should have left, You
had the out, And it's like you can be mad
at the people who are doing this to their partners
to a much higher degree than the people who are staying.
But also why are you staying?

Speaker 3 (18:23):
Yeah, my mother in law hid my husband's a air
because she knows I'm going to evict them.

Speaker 2 (18:30):
There's a lot of moving pieces to that. I can
neither confirm nor deny the validity of these options.

Speaker 3 (18:37):
Yet, two months ago I found out my husband had
been cheating on me since we got married, which was
almost a year ago. I have suspicions that it probably
went much farther back than that, but I don't know
how long it's been going on in total, and I
personally don't want to know more details than I have to.
By the way, this comes from deleted and if you
want to smit your own stories, go to our slashoky

(18:58):
storytime suburt it.

Speaker 1 (19:00):
Ye.

Speaker 3 (19:00):
Ever since I found out, I have been set on
pursuing divorce and I keep communication with him at a minimum.
We don't have kids. Evicting my husband out of the
house was a given. It was relatively easy to do
because the house is in my name. I inherited it
from my mother. The dilemma involves his mother, my mother
in law. She lives in our guest room and my
husband has taken the role of her caretaker since he

(19:22):
only works part time. She's not in a facility because
she doesn't need constant revision. She just needs help with
bathing and being taken to her physical therapy sessions. Before
anyone asks, yes, I did my part in caring for
her too. He was her main caretaker because I worked
full time and he didn't. I cooked, clean and did
her laundry. I also drove her to her appointments when

(19:43):
my husband couldn't. Only thing I wasn't comfortable with was
the bathing. Despite not wanting my husband to be in
the home, I let her stay. I did let him
know that once the divorce was finalized, she would have
to find somewhere else to live, whether that be with him,
his siblings, or with other family. I felt bad about it,
but I decided that I needed a clean break from
him and, by extension, his family once we were done.

(20:05):
I was not willing to permanently house my mother in
law in my home if it meant that I had
to continue interacting with him. I suggested that he planned
arrangements ahead of time so that we weren't scrambling to
find housing.

Speaker 2 (20:15):
He seems fine with that.

Speaker 3 (20:17):
At first, I was okay with my husband only returning
home to take care of his mother as long as
he didn't interact with me. I would usually be out
of the home during the time he'd come over. Anyways,
he broke that rule once he started begging and pleading
me for reconciliation. I absolutely refused. He then asked if
he could at least live in my house until the

(20:37):
divorce was finalized, which.

Speaker 2 (20:38):
I also refused.

Speaker 3 (20:39):
At that point, I was scared that he would try
to forcefully move back in, so I had the locks
changed and didn't give him a new key. I made
sure that I was there to receive him at the
door whenever he came to care for his mother. So
his mom is still living with Opee, but he can't come.
I later found out he was desperate for housing because
none of his friends at the space for him. They
all lived in apartments with multi roommates. His siblings were

(21:01):
not willing to house him or help him find housing
after they found out he cheated on me. The reason
I'm asking is if I'm the a hole, because I
now want to expedite moving my mother in law out.
She told me that she discovered that my husband was
cheating on me over a year ago, which was also
when we were still engaged. We were living in my
house back then, and my idiot of a husband then

(21:21):
fiance was caught because he brought one of his side
pieces to our home. He thought my mother in law
was fast asleep, but she wasn't. She later confronted him
and threatened him to come clean to me or she
would My husband reassured her that he would tell me, but.

Speaker 2 (21:35):
Obviously never did.

Speaker 3 (21:37):
My mother in law kept quiet about it all this
time because she believed I forgave him.

Speaker 2 (21:41):
Being go here, we go. I was about to say,
there's only one situation where this is okay, and it's
that exact situation was she brought it up. He's like,
I will tell her, and then he never tells her.
But then she just assumes, Oh, I guess they worked
it out.

Speaker 3 (21:57):
I feel like you got to do a follow up there, though.

Speaker 2 (21:59):
But it's such a like remember that thing, you probably
never want to think about it again that you talked
through and got over. I guess how's that going.

Speaker 3 (22:07):
She thought that since the wedding went as planned and
without delay, that I didn't have any lingering issues from
his infidelity. My mother in law was also under the
impression that he stopped his affairs, but that was only
because my husband got smarter quote unquote and never brought
anyone to the home again quote unquote smarter, because that
was already a pretty stupid move. After hearing all that,
I no longer felt comfortable having her in my house.

(22:29):
I wanted her to move out asap. She apologized, but
I just didn't want to hear it. Of course, I'm
angriest with my husband for what he did, but I
also feel betrayed by her. At any point, she could
have let me know about what he did. Maybe she
could have even asked me during the wedding preparations. If
I was really okay with forgiving his cheating, then at
least I would have found out before we got married.

(22:51):
She just assumed that I knew and was totally fine
with it. I know there are people who forgive their
spouses for cheating, but I don't think that they act
completely normal and happy, which is how I was. That's
because I was in the dark about everything. I also
feel like she should have been suspicious that we didn't
cancel or postpone our wedding date, given that she discovered
the cheating only a few months before it. I feel
like either she's like kind of dumb, or she didn't

(23:14):
like fully believe that he said anything, but she didn't
want to dig deeper.

Speaker 2 (23:18):
It's like she was kind of playing the minor business card,
and also the I don't want to take a side
that's not my son's, and then also I probably want
to believe that my son's not a bad guy. There's
a lot of interesting psychology going on in this decision
to be quiet. I for one, I'll give her the pass.

Speaker 3 (23:34):
On that, but I don't think OPO's her living in
her house.

Speaker 2 (23:38):
Does not owe her that. I just mean, like, I
don't think that she was withholding it in a nefarious nature.

Speaker 3 (23:44):
I feel like most people would want to at least
postpone the wedding to attend counseling, even if they forgave
their spouse for cheating. I feel bad for her situation
because she's an elderly woman, but as far as we know,
she doesn't have any cognitive or mental health issues. Maybe
you could say that my husband manipulated her, but I
feel like there's no reason to be that trusting and obvious.

(24:05):
My mother in law is not a stupid woman.

Speaker 2 (24:07):
I keep coming back.

Speaker 3 (24:08):
To the idea that she just decided to side with
her son instead of doing the right thing. The pessimistic
side of me believes that my mother in law kept
quiet because she wanted to remain living in my house.
She knew that if I found out he was cheating,
this exact situation when happened, I would let her stay
for a while, but she'd have to move out after
the divorce was finalized. That's the only reason that makes

(24:30):
sense to me, and if I'm right, it's made me
question if my mother in law ever liked me. I
used to believe that the reason why my mother in
law stayed with us and not my husband's siblings was
because they lived hundreds of miles away, and maybe that's
still true, but this has made me wonder if they're
keeping their distance on purpose. Probably they probably don't like her.
They're probably like, I don't want to put up with

(24:50):
this woman, even though she's my mother, so we're just
gonna make sure someone else tests to take.

Speaker 2 (24:55):
Care of her. It's if she was being like I
don't want to be homeless.

Speaker 3 (24:58):
I probably should have expected this, but in all that time,
my husband didn't do anything to find future housing for
his mother. I had to be the one to figure
out where my mother in law was going to stay.
I ended up coordinating with his siblings and both of
them were going to take a trip down to our
state to help her move. My mother in law was
going to be living with my husband's sister, but only temporarily.
They had plans to have my mother in law permanently

(25:19):
stay with their extended family. Ever since I made that call.
I have received a lot of backlash from my husband,
some of his friends, and her extended family. Some of
them even made posts on Facebook criticizing me for throwing
out an elderly woman into the streets. Now a lot
of people I don't know are sending me nasty messages.
But you guys can send a message to us if

(25:41):
you listen to full episodes with stories just like this.
Just go to Apple Podcasts, Spotify or your favorite podcast
up and search a book as story Time And that sounds.

Speaker 2 (25:49):
A great message.

Speaker 3 (25:50):
But there is a little bit left to this story.
Do any final thoughts.

Speaker 2 (25:53):
It's crazy, the unfair to be like you're throwing an
old lady out on the street. It's like, well, it's
real easy to say when situation's not impacting you. I
wonder how many people who are yelling at you about
how you're a bad person would do exactly what you're
doing right now. How many old ladies are you taking
care of? How many old ladies children are actively cheating

(26:15):
on you?

Speaker 3 (26:15):
But there is a little bit left to the story.
Someone even tried to call into my work and get
me fired. They're like, she's not taking care of the
old lady, I suspect either my husband or my mother
in law gave this person my work contact information since
I don't have any social media presence that displays where
I work. No one ever mentioned my husband's infidelity and
my mother in law's willful silence about it, so I
don't know if they even have the full context. Only

(26:38):
my husband's siblings seem to side with me and promise
to keep the story going. Comment one says, I agree
with you. She needs to start saving all proof of
their harassment and let them know that if they don't
back off, she'll press charges. She really needs to stop
letting these leeches treat her like a doormat.

Speaker 2 (26:54):
Ope.

Speaker 3 (26:54):
He needs a lawyer asap to start divorce proceedings.

Speaker 2 (26:57):
While married.

Speaker 3 (26:58):
She's on the hook for his debts, and he might
take some inner name without our knowing. Dude was clearly
using her money to spoil his side pieces. Opie served
that woman in eviction notice asap. Don't let them guilt trip.
You ever thought about how your husband only married you
to get a free caretaker for his mom. That's why
she never told you about his affairs. They don't want
to lose their maid ATM and nurse. You've been used

(27:19):
while he lived like a single man. Stop buying stuff
for mother in law and taking care of our that'll
speed up getting her out of your house. Also get
tested for STD and Opie says, yes, I have retained
a lawyer. I thankfully have a lawyer friend who was
able to recommend several divorce lawyers they knew. I would
say that he was more of a caretaker for her.

Speaker 2 (27:37):
Than I was.

Speaker 3 (27:38):
I mainly helped out during the weekends, but I didn't
have work. I know that I said I cooked and cleaned.
Technically I cooked and cleaned for everyone in the home.
It wasn't like I made her specialized meals or anything.
I was okay with them only working part time because
I made enough to support both of us, and I
respected that he wanted to take care of his mother.
I probably would have been okay with that arrangement for
the rest of our lives. If it had an been

(28:00):
for you know, the cheating. I would have to get
a professional to analyze our bank records. But as far
as I've seen, my husband was not using my share
of the income on these women, at least not enough
for me to notice. We have a joint account, and
he was careful enough to only use amounts of money
that reflected his salary. For instance, if he took home
three grand, he made sure to never spend more than

(28:20):
three grand until his next paycheck.

Speaker 2 (28:22):
That's being careful. Not blowing your entire paycheck on other
women is being careful. Maybe I'm just not financially literate
enough to understand that.

Speaker 3 (28:32):
I'm not quite understanding your goal there, buddy. I also
pay the majority of the bills, and he was responsible
for the phone bill and other small expenses. I didn't
really care what he spent his money on, as long
as he paid off his share of the expenses first.
I wasn't totally oblivious, though. I always monitored art statements,
not because I was looking out for infidelity, just because
I wanted to make sure we stayed within budget. I

(28:54):
know that he met some of these women in hotels,
but I assume he used cash because no hotels ever
showed up in the statements. I wasn't suspicious that he
withdrew cash to begin with. I've always known that my
husband preferred to pay with cash in general. I did
notice some statements for fast food and bars, but I
believed him when he said those were for lunch breaks
and when he went out with friends after work. Knowing

(29:15):
the truth now and makes me laugh to imagine that
he was treating his side pieces to a romantic dinner
at McDonald's and these other fast food places. Just so
much romance emanating from this cheater.

Speaker 2 (29:26):
The love is in this mcdouble, and we're gonna split it.
That's why they call it a mcdoubles because it's a
double Porsche.

Speaker 3 (29:32):
I have also been tested for STDs and it's a
miracle that I didn't catch anything. I have thought about
getting tested a second time, just to make sure. And
that is the end of that story. Moral of the
story is kick your mother in law out.

Speaker 2 (29:44):
Moral of the story. Once your husband's cheating on you,
you're not responsible for taking care of his mom.

Speaker 3 (29:50):
Those are just the rules.

Speaker 1 (29:51):
Man.

Speaker 2 (29:51):
I don't think the mom was doing anything nefarious, but
I think that there's also a code. Once you get
to that age you really have learned through experience that
you just mind you business and then bring it up again.
If you do think that they've worked through it and
are moving on, you're just dredging up the thing that
shouldn't be dredged, but also there was a lack of

(30:12):
follow through on making sure that any sort of anything
was said.

Speaker 3 (30:17):
I think that if you're going to confront your son
about it, then you gotta follow through on the confrontation.
But that is the end of that story.

Speaker 2 (30:24):
Hey's Sam. We're gonna get back to the stories. But
here's three minutes of bads from our sponsors. My girlfriend
said that if she wasn't with me, she'd date her
hot co worker. I broke up with her.

Speaker 4 (30:34):
Well, Dakota, I have a cigret for you. Oh do
tell looking pretty hot.

Speaker 2 (30:37):
My girlfriend and I had been official for about three
months before this happened. Things were fine in the beginning,
but she started acting weird a few weeks ago. By
the way, this comes from a user throw my Way,
And if you want to submit your own stories, go
to the r slash Okay storytime suburd it submit them there.
So she works in retail and has plenty of male colleagues,
most of whom she never talked about or even mentioned

(30:58):
by name. They were always this guy or that guy. So,
out of nowhere, she starts bringing up this one guy
by name in our conversations. Let's call him.

Speaker 4 (31:07):
Allan, but don't worry about Alan.

Speaker 2 (31:09):
Alan's the guy she tells you not to worry about.
Alan's name seems to be popping up every time she
brings up work. Whether it's a conversation they had or
something that happened at the job irrelevant to him, his
input and name always seemed to come up. I didn't
think anything of it at first, but I grew suspicious
after realizing just how often this name has come up
in any of our conversations. My girlfriend also recently started

(31:31):
making jokes about leaving me or finding someone else whenever
we were joking around.

Speaker 4 (31:37):
Okay, I've been there, get out.

Speaker 2 (31:39):
Red alert, my guy, Red alert again. I didn't take
it seriously at first, but she kept mentioning breaking up
in this harmless joking way too much to make me
think there wasn't something on her mind.

Speaker 4 (31:52):
Whenever my ex moved a state away to start her
new career as a teacher, uh huh, she was talking
about how she won't date other people at her school,
and I was like, wait a minute, are you don't
mean right now?

Speaker 2 (32:02):
It was yeah, babe, babe, that yeah, that's crazy, because
we're dating right now.

Speaker 4 (32:06):
One times she kissed me and like, I kind of
pulled away and she said, no, no, this is how
you kiss remember that. And it felt like she meant
to say, like, remember that for when you kiss other people.

Speaker 2 (32:14):
That's how I felt. I think that's exactly what she
was saying.

Speaker 4 (32:17):
I got hey.

Speaker 2 (32:18):
Then she tells me that Alan, who has a girlfriend,
approached her at work and told her that she should
go on a date with him and lie about her whereabouts.

Speaker 4 (32:28):
To me, oh so funny. At least she told you
right now.

Speaker 2 (32:32):
I maintained a cool head when I heard about this
and jokingly asked her, Oh, so you got plans this weekend?
We both laughed and I tried to not get overly
jealous about it. But after this, his name only came
up more, and her jokes about breaking up became more frequent,
so I got suspicious. I looked through her phone and
found a conversation between her and her friend about Allan,

(32:53):
and it basically went like this, a you're gonna be girlfriend.
Oh my god, there's this guy at work who keeps
on asking me to go out with him, and I
just just keep telling him no, but he's just like
soup persistent, and oh my god, you should see him,
He's like so attractive. Friend, friend, Oh girl, what are
you gonna do? Girl? Friend? Obviously I'm not gonna do
anything because I'm with someone. But honestly, the only thing

(33:16):
is stopping me is the fact that I'm with Opie.
He was one of the guys I originally liked when
I started working here. Am I crazy? When you stop
by the store, you have to see him? Oh?

Speaker 4 (33:26):
Stop, You're not crazy at all. Oh, I can't wait.
I can't wait. There's a knife in my heart.

Speaker 2 (33:41):
This story is giving me trust issues. Remember, never dated
girl with hot coworkers exactly. I confronted her about the conversation,
and she got super squirrely when I said, quote, so
you like that guy Allan from your work? Is he
the guy you have in mind when you joke about
leaving me? That was? Hey, that's a good way to
put her on blast, that's for sure. She basically tried

(34:01):
to rationalize everything she said, but just the way she
reacted showed me she clearly felt more for this dude
than she led on. She got this big time stupid
grin when I mentioned his name, and could barely keep
her story straight about the conversation she had with her friend.
She kept saying, I don't like him, but yes, I
think he's attractive, which really pissed me off. I got
especially annoyed at the fact that this guy had a

(34:23):
girlfriend and she was basically saying that if I wasn't
in her life, she would have gladly been his side
woman or whatever.

Speaker 4 (34:29):
Like when he says, you would be my side woman
or whatever, my side woman, not even my main chick,
my side lady.

Speaker 2 (34:36):
It's very humiliating to think that she sort of fell
for that type of guy. Obviously she doesn't love him,
but the fact that she said she would date him
if I wasn't in the picture makes it seem like
this guy is just as good of an option as
I am.

Speaker 4 (34:49):
Just nice guy's finish last.

Speaker 2 (34:51):
Oh, this guy Allan all uses hot and a coworker,
such a bad boy like me. I mean, not trying
to slam on op there, but like, leave, yeah, leave,
come on. I feel like a lot of people put
these stories out there because they're like, I don't leave,
right brother, you're leaving, pack your bags.

Speaker 4 (35:09):
What's the hard thing to do?

Speaker 2 (35:10):
Stay? I would think, really to stay in this.

Speaker 4 (35:13):
I think the hard thing for Opie is to leave,
and usually the hard thing to do is the right
thing to do.

Speaker 2 (35:19):
It just becomes a gut check.

Speaker 3 (35:20):
Man.

Speaker 2 (35:21):
It's like, once your gut tells you that, like she
wants to hook up with this guy at her work,
and like leave you Like it's your gut's telling you
what to do. So this guy Allan's trying to cheat
on his girlfriend with her, and she's bragging about it
to her friends. What the actual f This works in
retail and I make more in two hours of work

(35:41):
than he makes in twenty hours.

Speaker 4 (35:43):
Mmmmm, and my thing's bigger than his. Yeah, what is this?
I don't get it.

Speaker 2 (35:51):
I know she didn't cheat on me, but this seems
like the precursor to it. I'm also worried because if
this guy had her basically ready to jump on him,
and he's pretty much a bus then what happens when
somebody competent and good looking comes around? So pause for
one second. You are, in effect calling your girlfriend a bum.
She has the same job as him.

Speaker 4 (36:09):
Yeah, and your insel showing dog.

Speaker 2 (36:11):
So maybe your girlfriend's looking for someone who, maybe I
don't know, shows her a shred of human respect in
the context of what she does for work. Because working retail. Yeah,
it's not glamorous, but slam duncan on Alan for not
making as much money as you. You're doing the same
thing to your girl, just putting that out there, so
I feel like I can't trust her at all anymore.
If that's all it takes for her to be willing
to go after someone, then how the heck can I

(36:33):
trust her? That dude was a bum sweet Hejesus. I
don't know what to do. I can't tell if I'm
overreacting or not. Am I out of line? And there's
an edit shout out to the people in retail. Nice
save him being in retail isn't a fault of his
I exaggerated when I said I make in two hours
what he makes in twenty. It's more like a three
to one ratio.

Speaker 4 (36:52):
So I think even more than he does.

Speaker 2 (36:53):
I don't know the guy or his potential career paths,
but I brought up the retail aspect to show that
I'm more established in my career than he is. Mostly
he's a gummy. He's trying to cheat on his girlfriend
with my girlfriend, not because he works in retail. And
there's an update.

Speaker 4 (37:06):
Thanks for the clarification, Obi, I think less of you now.

Speaker 2 (37:09):
I'm sure everyone in the comments immediately bashed him for
exactly when I was saying. So let's get into the update.
What's the prognosis. Are they staying together? They breaking up?
Do they're breaking up? They gotta break up at this point, No,
you don't have the trust. That was low key, pretty
kind of slimy.

Speaker 4 (37:23):
And you both don't deserve each other.

Speaker 2 (37:25):
Well, I had to talk with my girlfriend and it
got pretty aggravating. She basically said that he's nothing serious
and it was just a crush, like so many of
you said. She also said that she didn't want to
be his side woman, but would date him if he
didn't have a girlfriend and if she wasn't with me,
And that wasn't too nice to hear. I asked her,
why the heck would you want to date this guy,
and she responded, because he's a good guy. My head

(37:47):
practically exploded. It turns out, oh he's a good guy.
Oh he's a good guy, and I'm not a good guy.
Oh I do is yell at you, I'm not a
good guy. This sounds it feels like this is like
a hypothetical question that's gotten out of line. She's literally like,
if I wasn't dating you and he wasn't dating her,
I would date him. But guess what you're both dating.
This is like, would you love me if I was

(38:08):
a worm?

Speaker 4 (38:08):
Is exactly what this is.

Speaker 2 (38:10):
But you're not a worm, so it doesn't really matter anyway.
I started yelling, he's a good guy. He's trying to
use you as his side lady, and you have the
effing au dassy to claim he's a good guy. She
got super defensive and started fumbling her words, and I
exiled her from the house the next day. Today, we
spent all day trying to talk about it. She honestly

(38:31):
had been okay up until this point, but nothing special
or noteworthy. Her disrespectful comments and then this all compounded,
but I still wanted to make sure I wasn't making
a mistake. Yeah, brother, I think you need to not
be in a relationship at all and look in yourself,
grow up a little bit. Yeah, Love people for who
they are, not where they're at. She was really hard
to talk to you today. When I asked her if

(38:52):
they had ever done anything together, she said not at all,
which I truly believe. But when I asked her, why
do you think he's a good guy? She avoided the
question five times before I got the real answer out
of her conversation was as follows me. The thing I
most bothered by is that you would not only date
this guy but also claim he's a good guy to
my face, even though he's clearly a piece of Why
the heck would you do that? What could possibly be

(39:14):
so redeeming about this guy that you had the nerve
to say he's a good guy? Her?

Speaker 4 (39:18):
Well, he's really books more and intelligent.

Speaker 2 (39:22):
Me, So that's enough to overlook the fact that he's
obviously a cheater. You're an effing idiot.

Speaker 4 (39:27):
Hang up, that was so productive and such a great
conversation you have with your girlfriend.

Speaker 2 (39:31):
Hey, buddy, I'm starting to think you're not a very
good guy.

Speaker 4 (39:34):
You know. I imagine this actually didn't happen, and he's
rewriting it to make him look like he was here.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
Yeah. This is like when you have like the argument
in the shower by yourself, like an hour later, and
you're like, oh, dang it, oh I should have said that.
Something about her saying that just drove me over the edge.
So effing disturbing that she would defend this guy. You're
getting disturbing myself, so I read all the books in
the world, and then everyone clapped. It made me realize
she clearly felt more for him than just physical attraction.

(39:59):
I dumped her to to never call me again, and
now she's insulting me, calling me insecure right now, Like
I give a crap. I'm glad I don't have to
deal with her dumb butt anymore. I'm glad she doesn't
have to deal with a guy who clearly, right beneath
the surface, was just seething with hatred at the slightest
imbalance of the homeostasis of the relationship. You were ready

(40:21):
to just go off, and you clearly don't respect your
ex girlfriend in any way, regardless of how she feels
about Alan.

Speaker 4 (40:28):
I'm just glad this is over. You could have skipped
a few steps, but it's over now.

Speaker 2 (40:33):
You got a superiority complex, my guy TLDR. My girlfriend's
an idiot. Oof at it. To give some more clarity,
I've been seeing her for about six months total, three
months of dating and three months of a relationship. Prior
to her, I had just come out of a relationship
where I was cheated on in the first few months
there we go and basically got the excuse I wasn't
sure if I really loved you or not. I actually
made the mistake of taking her back and staying with

(40:53):
the cheater for one more year. That relationship was terrible
in so many ways that it has affected my ability
to trust women. I actually thought I had found someone
trustworthy in this new girl, but clearly she got bored
of me or perhaps was just like my other ex
and that she wasn't too sure yet. Well, she'd only
been dating you for three months. That is not your
acting like you were getting gonna get married. Yeah. I

(41:14):
definitely have trust issues and she knew that but couldn't
help herself. So I removed myself from this situation.

Speaker 4 (41:20):
I think that was best for everyone.

Speaker 2 (41:21):
That felt like moving the goalpost there a little bit,
because earlier in the story he's talking about the banter
of like, aha, I'm gonna leave you or we're gonna
break up, and it's like that was back. That was
a back and forth that wasn't one sided. It was
only once he discovered there actually was a guy who
she thought was cool and a good guy that he
became uncomfortable by it, it seems anyway, we have a
second update here, let's see what happens. Just to note,

(41:44):
we always had an open phone policy. This wasn't about
not trusting each other at all. We just both agreed
neither of us had anything to hide, so we didn't
really care if we wanted to take a look. This
was the first time I went through her phone because
I had a bad feeling and was somewhat unfortunately vindicated.
I got really pissed after reading the texts and ended
up breaking it off with her after she tried defending
herself and claimed he was actually a good guy, but

(42:06):
he had a girlfriend and he was willing to cheat
on her with my girlfriend, which honestly that sounds like
maybe hyperbole. I'm not sure, but it could be true.
So I had a few days off to really think
about what happened that night when I basically just told
her to get out of my life. A decent amount
of the comments were pointing out that my aggressive way
of bringing up the issue probably played a big part
into how she reacted. They were totally right. After a

(42:26):
few days of thinking about it, I realized I let
my anger get the best of me and made it
impossible for her to be heard at all, So last
night I agreed to meet with her to hear what
she had to say about it. All. I could have
just ignored her completely, but I was actually really interested
in how she could possibly think she could explain this away.
So I met with her and she began apologizing, saying
things like I didn't deserve that at all, it was

(42:47):
immature and disrespectful to the relationship. She again explained how
nothing had ever happened between them, not even a hug,
and that she always rejected his advances, never leading him
on once. He really just wouldn't leave her alone about it.
I told her that it didn't seemed like she put
her foot down hard enough with him if he kept
coming back, and it seemed to me she let it happen.
She said she did tell him to stop every single time,
but that he really just wouldn't leave her alone. I

(43:09):
asked her about the bragging, showing him off, and the
weird sort of flattery, and she told me this here's
where it gets interesting to me. She started explaining to
me and that she had a little crush on him
when she first started the job, before we even started dating,
but they never pursued each other. She thought he was
cute but didn't act on it, and soon after starting
the job she met me. We got serious, and in
her own words, she forgot that I had a crush

(43:32):
on him, even though she still found him attractive. But
something happened after we had been official for two months
and he started aggressively pursuing her. At first, she didn't
even think of it because he was a flirty guy
and just kept shooting him down. She knew at that
time that he only wanted to have the spicy sleep
with her, so she didn't take it seriously. But he
started asking her out to dinner and talking about romantic dates,
and something in her just clicked back on. The feelings

(43:54):
from the crush he had on Alan before came flooding back,
and suddenly she was actually having an internal struggle with
him her feelings. On one hand, she knew he was
a sky guy, but she was just so physically attracted
to him that she started to like him a little.
She knew he only wanted her for spicy sleep, but
when she started talking about dinners and stuff, she started
thinking that he actually liked her as a person. When
she started thinking that way. She just couldn't help how

(44:15):
attracted she was to him, and the crush came back.
All right, bro, So at this point we're breaking up, yeah,
or I'm like, fine, if you're that attracted to this guy,
go go to him, go date him. And you know what,
you don't have to be that mad about it, because
you guys were dating for three months. It's not that serious.
This is what dating is for. And if you want
to be honest about it, you go, you know what,
I do kind of feel like I want to pursue

(44:38):
something with this guy, and you go, yikes, well that's
not what I want to hear. But I guess we
should break up and move on with our lives. You
don't have to make it a Mount Vesuvius eruption, you know. Anyway,
she was flattered that the person she secretly had eyes
for in the beginning was now crushing on her, and
she just couldn't help the way it made her feel,
even though she was now with me. At the same time,
it also made her super uncomfortable because she liked me

(45:01):
way more than she ever liked him. She told me
that he didn't have anything that I didn't already have.
She's just as physically attracted to me as she is
to him, which is possibly true, as I've never seen
this guy, and even though she said he was book
smart and whatever, that I was way better than him
in every way, it sounds like compensating me.

Speaker 4 (45:16):
Dude.

Speaker 2 (45:17):
She didn't even conceive of him as a threat to
the relationship because she knew that she would never do
anything with him or leave me for him. But unfortunately,
she said some dumb stuff to her friend in a
moment of excitement when she started feeling flattered by her
former crush crushing on her. I was really appreciative of
her honesty, and even though it was tough to hear,
I didn't even want to snap back. It was sort
of amazing to hear. So I asked her about the

(45:38):
whole defending him. When I asked her how he could
possibly be a good guy, she really didn't want to
answer the question, so I kind of answered it for her,
because it doesn't doesn't feel like there is an answer
to that question. Feels like the answer to that question is, Oh,
he's not but he's really hot, you know.

Speaker 4 (45:52):
I just want to see what's under his clothing layer
down below.

Speaker 2 (45:56):
In the words of Stelle. Don't like his baggy jeans,
but I might like what's underneath them.

Speaker 4 (46:00):
Love a shout out.

Speaker 2 (46:02):
There was a comment on this previous thread that really
stuck with me regarding this exact question. I forgot who
posted it, and it was actually a sort of snide remark,
but surprisingly wise. Basically, it said, she had to tell
you he was a good guy because she knew if
she told you the real reason that she was attracted
to him he's cute and charming, that you would just
flip out. More makes sense. She deludes herself into believing

(46:22):
he's a good guy because she wants to be with him,
because she's really attracted to him, and she wouldn't want
a data scrag, so he must not be a contrary
to the evidence. Self delusion at its finest. I had
those quotes in mind when I told her that I
understand why you're hesitant to answer, because ultimately it's a
lose lose for you. You could either lie to me
and say he's a good guy to make it seem
like you're not shallow, but then it would seem like

(46:42):
you're more than just physically attracted to him and actually
like his character. Trying to avoid hurting my feelings. You
made it seem like you actually liked him more than
I previously thought, Or you could be honest and just
say you found him cute and charming even though he
was as you knew he was. You were so physically
attracted to him that you couldn't accept he was actually
a bad guy. If you had honestly said I would
shag him but never be with him, I may have

(47:03):
been mad at hearing that, but it would have been
way better than listening to you lye on his behalf.
So you don't seem shout, because it only amplified the
situation and changed the dynamics. She was pretty shocked at
me saying that and told me, I honestly never wanted
to say why I was attracted to him because I
just thought you would flip out. But yes, he's just
cute and charming. I know that doesn't make him a
good person and wash away his despicable behavior, but I

(47:24):
just didn't want to say to you when you were
so mad at me. It's just a physical attraction that
was compounded by the crush I had on him before
I met you. I don't know the guy at all really,
aside from talking occasionally at work. But he's not you,
and I wouldn't trade you for him. Ever. You're just
as cute and charming as him, if not more so.
But you have so many more amazing qualities and all
he has is looks. It was the weirdest feeling. On

(47:45):
one hand, her honesty cleared up exactly how she felt
about him, but I was still a little unsure about
how much she liked him. Brother, what are we doing?

Speaker 4 (47:52):
Why are we entertaining you this man?

Speaker 2 (47:54):
What are we talking about here?

Speaker 4 (47:55):
Find someone else attractive? This deeply out?

Speaker 2 (47:57):
The only reason that she has only a physical goal
attraction to this guy because she doesn't know anything else
about him yet, So I don't know.

Speaker 4 (48:04):
Yep, she's just window shopping.

Speaker 2 (48:07):
I think now is the time to appreciate that you
had an honest, open discourse about this, and you both
move on with your lives, right.

Speaker 4 (48:14):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that seems like the right thing to do.
But I bet you were not even halfway done.

Speaker 2 (48:18):
Oh no, we're getting close.

Speaker 4 (48:19):
Oh we're about to read a conclusion here.

Speaker 2 (48:21):
I hope they just move on same. The amount that
she liked him is not nearly as deep as I
thought it was, but the thing is, it's still there.
She just admitted to being able to overlook his huge
red flags due to physical attraction, but also admitted that
it was sort of silly, and brother, she's overlooking your
red flags. I'm sure as well. You don't sound like
you're red flagless, but regardless, let's continue. She also told

(48:42):
me about how her and the friend she had the
conversation with talked about what Alan was doing to her
that night, and they both agreed it was gross and
that she would never do it, but she couldn't help
but feel somewhat flattered when he did those things to her.
She's got to be the worst liar I have ever encountered,
but I didn't get a notion of deceit. In our conversation.
Oologized for yelling at her and calling her an effing idiot,

(49:02):
and I explained that I understood why she was afraid
to be honest with me from the get go, given
the way I was acting, and that I'm not interested
in losing control of my emotions like that anymore. We're
not together because I still feel weird and uncomfortable about
the whole thing. I told her. I appreciated her honesty,
but it was still very concerning hearing just how easily
she developed feelings for someone who isn't even a good person,
and that I have a hard time believing it wouldn't

(49:24):
happen again. I caught myself and told her I've heard
those things before with other women during our relationship, but
it never got nearly as far as she took it,
and it was still a very disrespectful thing to do.
I know we as humans can't help who were physically
attracted to, but it's very concerning to hear it from
your ex slash girlfriend or whatever. She doesn't want to
be with him and wants to be with me, that
much is very clear. Nor did she want to be

(49:45):
his side piece, because honestly, she has more respect for
herself than that. But she couldn't deny that. She did
say she would go out with him if it wasn't
for me, even though she chalked it up to a
misunderstanding of what she meant and that when her friend
talked about it more with her, they agreed he was
a gross guy, so she probably wouldn't either way. It's
all that's just a mess. It's time to go it's

(50:08):
time to leave.

Speaker 4 (50:08):
I thought we graduated from middle school.

Speaker 2 (50:10):
Guys, it's time move along on to the next I
still don't know how I feel about it. Yes, you do,
but I do want to see what you all think
about this type of situation. You do know how you think?
I would really hope you know how you think about
this situation. It clearly happens in relationships, but it's scary
to think that all it takes to lose control of
your emotions is looks and charm. She didn't do anything
with him, but I don't know. This still comes across

(50:32):
as off putting, even if she was one hundred percent honest,
which I think she pretty much was. And by the way,
I'm being one hundred percent honest with you when I
say you can listen to full episodes with stories like
this on Apple podcasts, on iHeartRadio, on Spotify, wherever you
get your podcasts. Just search Okay story Time, and forty
nine consecutive days worth of stories will be at your

(50:55):
fingertips and you can listen to your heart's content.

Speaker 4 (50:58):
I just wish you would be like my dad in
my childhood dog and take me out to the woods
and put me out of my misery.

Speaker 2 (51:03):
Please, honestly, please just rip the band aid off. Man,
you know we need to do. There's no going back
because I don't feel like you're the kind of guy
from the context I've gotten from the story to be
able to actually move on from this. Three months from now,
when you guys get in a fight, you're gonna bring
this up.

Speaker 4 (51:19):
My god, she's like cute and charming, but like you
have all these other qualities, but like blake, black blake,
black bla and that could be true.

Speaker 2 (51:26):
It's like she could be honest when she's saying, like, yeah,
I was attracted to this guy, and like, I do
know he's kind of a strong and I've talked to
my friend about it and yeah he does. But at
the same time, it's like I don't want to date
somebody who's attracted to scumbags. Anyway, let's finish this story.
There's a mini update here. I forgot to mention this
part of the story, but I asked my ex if
she would tell Alan's girlfriend about his attempts at infidelity,

(51:48):
and she said no. She said it would only cause
problems at her job and she didn't want her name involved,
which is fair. Look out for yourself in the context
of the job. It's like, you don't want to mess
that up, and.

Speaker 4 (51:59):
If you want to be a man about it, you
could do it yourself.

Speaker 2 (52:01):
Exactly. Yeah, if that's if that's how you really feel
about that, I do it would do this one favor
for me. I don't know. Maybe it would cause problems,
but I read it as very sketch, like she doesn't
want to piss Alan off. Maybe I'm paranoid though, I mean, look,
she's already your ex brother. Stop caring what she thinks
about Alan. It's over.

Speaker 4 (52:18):
It's time to hit the gym and watch more Andrew
Tait and go back to the rock you crawled under.

Speaker 2 (52:23):
Maybe we're being a little harsh on him, are we?
But there were some I don't know, like I yelled
at her and called her and I think I think
the way you got checked by the comments in your
first post, by being like I mean ten times more
than he does. And by the way, brother, that's where
your girlfriend worked. So you clearly respect your girlfriend at
the same amount as you respect Alan in that context

(52:45):
until you got checked and then backtracked. So who's to say,
you know? I don't know. I feel like you're trying
to temperature check your own thoughts and feelings with the
internet instead of just being honest about how you're thinking.
You're thinking that you don't want to date this woman.
Don't date her.

Speaker 4 (52:58):
It's over, and we know how you think and how
you move and how you go about things.

Speaker 2 (53:02):
It's a little high Horsey feels like he's a little
bit up on a high horse, although I do support, like,
if this guy really is trying to cheat on his girlfriend,
girlfriend deserves to know. But do that yourself. Yeah, yeah,
come on, if you feel that, if that's how you're feeling,
you can do that.

Speaker 4 (53:16):
And your girlfriend's your ex is now single, so we
know what she's going to be doing with Alan. She's
not gonna have enough time to tell Alan's girlfriend what
Alan's doing.

Speaker 2 (53:24):
Yeah, take the matter into your own hands.

Speaker 4 (53:27):
I see in that story.

Speaker 2 (53:29):
Hey, it's Sam. We'll get back to the stories. But
here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 4 (53:34):
My sister confessed her affair without any remorse, so I
exposed her.

Speaker 2 (53:38):
Ooh shoo. I don't know who to be more upset
at the cheater or the person who like broke someone's trust.

Speaker 4 (53:45):
I'm not even sure what to do, if I should
even do anything or can At this point, my sister
and husband have been married for ten years. My sister
has worked in realty for about two years now. She
started in a good company and she genuinely loves what
she does for people. By the way, this call from
deleted and if you want to spit your own stories,
go to our slash okay stories, I'm subred. So she
worked in a team and each team had partners. She

(54:07):
was partners with some guy, let's call him Dan. Dan
is young about twenty four to twenty five, and my
sister is twenty nine.

Speaker 2 (54:13):
I mean, that's not abnormal, these two people in their twenties. Yeah,
it's not like it's but.

Speaker 4 (54:18):
The combination of a young guy with slightly older, mature,
more mature woman.

Speaker 2 (54:22):
That's very normal. That's very typical.

Speaker 4 (54:25):
He's very attractive, and they've obviously had to spend a
lot of time together because their work requires a lot
of interaction with each other and other people. He's extremely
flirty and they ended up getting touchy.

Speaker 2 (54:37):
Uh oh.

Speaker 4 (54:37):
She let herself get caught up into it, since she
mentioned her marriage was going on a downhill slope for
some time. Now she ended up falling for the guy,
and they would send each other's songs to dedicate to
the other, and she would go out late to clubs
with friends and he would be there and they would kiss.

Speaker 2 (54:53):
And stuff kissing stuff is wild? Whoa Okay.

Speaker 4 (55:00):
Eventually it led to what to go to them?

Speaker 2 (55:01):
It led to the spicy tango, and she.

Speaker 4 (55:04):
Would lie to her husband and tell him she was
with our sister in law, let's call her Carol, and
intern Carol would have to lie to my sister's husband John.
Oh no, no, no, no, no no.

Speaker 2 (55:18):
And she's just offering all this up like for free,
like she just had to get this off her chest.
Like why is she telling all this to her brother?

Speaker 3 (55:25):
Now?

Speaker 2 (55:26):
What where's this coming from?

Speaker 4 (55:27):
Which made crap complicated because John is Carol's boss. Oh
so their work relationship was strained as well. Anyway, in reality,
she would be with Dan effing all the time, and
she went as far as to have spicy sleep with
him in her own apartment. Girl, it messes me up
because she genuinely feels no remorse. She doesn't realize the

(55:48):
full consequences. John suspected something with Dan, but he could
never find proof. She's always with her cell phone. She's very,
very meticulous, and a good liar and manipulator. He stays clueless.
Fast forward to about six months ago. She changed companies
stand after her over and got a girl friend and
her heart was broken.

Speaker 2 (56:08):
Oh well, how am I supposed to be with my
boyfriend and with you?

Speaker 3 (56:11):
Whenever you ever coming?

Speaker 2 (56:13):
Easy come, easy go.

Speaker 4 (56:15):
I imagine experiencing a breakup while with your partner you get.

Speaker 2 (56:19):
You experience a breakup while you're not broken up with
your actual boyfriend. I mean, look, your brother, she's probably
coming to you for this for some some level of advice.
I don't think we got to that part of one.
Really did she really not have any remorse whatsoever.

Speaker 4 (56:33):
We'll say, you work for a company, right, you're working,
you're remote. They don't really see what you're doing, but
they're like, he's working for me. And then you're over
here working for another company and get paid extra. You're like, ooh,
I'm working the system. This this company will never know
I'm not working for it, but I'm like getting money
on the side here doing freelanced. And then your freelance
gate goes away. You ain't getting that extra income. You're like, Oh,
you already got this other income. That's what she feels

(56:55):
right now. She's like, ah, whatever, I don't care about
this other company. They think I'm being busy.

Speaker 2 (56:59):
I don't know.

Speaker 4 (57:00):
She's still she's an entrepreneurs It's an entrepreneurial situation exactly.
That's how she's viewing this. Well, she's a heartbroken. She
goes to this new company, which is all fun dandy.
She loves it. Then she starts getting too friendly with
her boss, Mark. Mark's an older man, around forty, married
with three kids. However, they floored anyways. Of effing course,

(57:22):
she likes him because he's manly and older as good
at spicy sleep too. Apparently.

Speaker 2 (57:27):
Hey, so she rebounded from one affair to the next affair.

Speaker 4 (57:30):
Like that entrepreneurial mindset. If you have a company that's
paying you money and you need freelance work to get
your buzz off, you gotta you gotta find that. You
gotta float that real quick. See, it's a growth mindset.
It's an entrepreneurial mindset.

Speaker 2 (57:42):
It's all about the grind. She just got confused about
what kind of grind they were talking about.

Speaker 4 (57:47):
She begins her new and recent affair However, she actually
thinks she's in love with him. They went on a
trip for work for a week, and she showed me
how they danced and kissed and he got extremely romantic
with her, saying they bought a romance. At a point,
my stomach began to hurt. She looked so excited, giggly,
and thrilled from the adrenaline of her lust and secrecy

(58:08):
of her up actions. I honestly don't think she has
much of a consciousness at this point. But that's just me.

Speaker 2 (58:15):
Brother. Where are you at with your counsel. You're supposed
to be there to be like, hey, this is all wrong,
this is misplaced. You are setting yourself up for a
huge mess and pain and suffering, not just you, but
a whole other family. Do you not see that.

Speaker 4 (58:32):
He looking not be the guy that doesn't give advice
unless they say, hey, so, what do you think of that?

Speaker 2 (58:36):
That's me for a while, I just don't know. It
feels like you need to be saying things immediately.

Speaker 4 (58:40):
Yeah, oh, absolutely. Honestly don't think she has much of
a conscious at this point. But that's just me. Now,
my sister and John are splitting up, not divorcing. She
moved into its own house with a girl, in which
she got all the furniture, and John agreed because it
was the right thing to do. And John is moving
into it on apartment alone. They haven't filed divorce papers.
We were eating dinner alone one night and he told me,
I told your sister, I wasn't going to give up

(59:02):
even if it unlived me. I know I can't love
someone else, and he was going to wait for her.
He has been writing her letters. He was crying in everything.
What it was down bad. I need to see a
picture of this woman right now.

Speaker 2 (59:15):
Oh Lord.

Speaker 4 (59:15):
So now I'm stuck on the sidelines watching this disaster unfold.
I feel bad for my nieces who know that mommy
doesn't love daddy anymore, and for John, who's been like
a brother to me since I was seven. I think
he needs to know now and that she has to
tell him. But she said she never will, and I
told her the truth will come out somehow. Her reply was, whatever,
if it happens, it happens. She doesn't realize she's still

(59:37):
pretty financially dependent on him, and he's an amazing guy.
She doesn't realize that what she's doing is a mistake.
I told her to put the guy out of his
effing misery. He needs to know the truth, and I'm
so tempted to tell him my boyfriend said to leave
an anonymous note somehow, but that also would feel wrong.
I don't know what to do or what to think of.
This whole thing makes me so sick. Edit posted the

(59:58):
wrong Subreddit. Still knew he also, She told me so.
I showed me the matching tattoo she got with the
guy today. She showed me two minutes ago.

Speaker 2 (01:00:06):
Oh my god, we have.

Speaker 4 (01:00:07):
An update, a freaking update. Dude, do you know what
to do? What's the hard thing to do right now?
To go to all of it? It's all hard, No,
I mean, it's like the hard next action to do?
You what do you talk to tell John?

Speaker 2 (01:00:17):
Right, it's all hard to tell John, to not tell John,
to tell her to tell John. It's all hard.

Speaker 4 (01:00:22):
Well, the hardest thing to do is to tell John.
And you have to do that. You have to do.

Speaker 2 (01:00:26):
You have to this with the context that was provided
there where it's like he's been like a brother since
you were seven. It's like, all right, now, that's that's
another equally like trust bound relationship. As the one that
you have with your sister, But it sounds like you
are awful at convincing or telling people to do things.
Because what it's like working to your advice man, the

(01:00:47):
fact that your sister feels nothing. I don't know. It's
like it's your parents' job to raise your siblings, right,
But it's like you're her older brother, like you're supposed
to be part of her moral compass, Like you need
to be giving her more active counsel here. And if
she really is fully in the camp of I don't
care whatever happens, if it comes out, it comes out,
then yeah, at this point, she does need to face

(01:01:08):
the music, and if she's not going to do it herself,
you need to be the one to do it here,
especially if you actually value John's friendship and like have
known him for so long for oh my god.

Speaker 4 (01:01:15):
You got enough day, all right. First of all, I
want to thank all the people who actually gave sound
and proper advice, and I want to point out those
who claim that I did not slash care so I
should give a crap about John, that I truly don't
consider him my brother and I'm a horrible person, and
that you don't know my whole life story. You should
have judged others. That being said, The next time, my
sister gossiped to me about her latest day with Mark. Yeah,
they're still going together and going strong, as she puts it,

(01:01:39):
and he left his wife too. I told her I
didn't agree with what she did at all. I told
her she was a compulsive liar and she should seriously
seek professional help with her narcissism lack of consciousness, and
you go toaskical tendencies. Surprise, she is only full of
herself in this situation, but with everything else in life.
I also mentioned how I know she must know it's wrong,

(01:02:01):
and how she's capable of lying for aso effing long,
and she should just divorce John and put him out
of his effing miniseriy. She told me she knows, and
that she feels bad, and that she's going to file
for divorce, et cetera. I ask her, are you ever
going to tell John? She said to me, I feel
bad about the whole thing, but there's no reason to
tell him now because it's pointless. Oh my blood boiled,
But all I said was okay. At that point I

(01:02:23):
realized she was hopeless to talk to mind you. She's
eleven years younger than me, and although her maturity is
practically non existent as the past couple of years, she
acts like a love struck thirteen year old. Constantly she
thinks of me below her. My family has always ingrained
the thought that you are older, you can do whatever
you want. If someone calls you younger, it isn't okay,
and they have no right to do so simply because

(01:02:45):
you are younger than you. Okay, so Opi is nineteen,
he's not thirty. There's gotta be something going on here yet. Yeah,
so Opie is nineteen, she's twenty nine older.

Speaker 2 (01:02:53):
Well, that makes more sense as to why he was
not really putting the screws into the counseling there. It's like,
he's so you're the younger brother. That makes more sense.

Speaker 4 (01:03:02):
Now she's not gonna listen to you. I got fed
up with everything. So the next time I saw John,
I told him we were sitting down relaxing. No one
else was around us. He started talking about my sister again,
but I stopped him. He went like this, listen, I'm
gonna be honest with you, and I understand if you
never want to speak to any of us again. But
my sister has been cheating or was has been lying
to you for the past couple of years. First with Dan,

(01:03:23):
and you know Dan, and I know you got a
good feeling. It was right now with Mark, whom you
may also know, and she claims she's really in love
with him. I'm sick of tired of keeping quiet because
it isn't fair, and I feel like you won't let
go until you know for sure. He's stayed quiet and
looked down at the table. He said, I always knew
she was being unfaithful. I had the feeling, but I
never wanted to admit it because of your sister. Or

(01:03:43):
was the love of my life. I had two beautiful
girls with her, and I kept thinking that things would
get better. I guess I was wrong. This post is
already too long. So I basically apologized to him numerous times,
and he said he didn't blame me because he knows
how unreasonable my family is, and I was only saying,
and I'm still only starting college now. You also thank
me for being honest with him and that he knew

(01:04:05):
you'd down. There was no repairing things with my sister.
I asked him if he would confront her, knowing very
well I would get in trouble for spilling the beans.
But at this point, I don't IFNE care why I
continue to be part of a sick lie. And he
said no, only because it's not like she's going to
change her behavior and it's going to start drama. And guys,
if you love drama just like this, go to your
favorite podcast platform. Search up Okay story Time for more

(01:04:27):
crazy stories just like this. We have tons of them. Dakota,
what are your thoughts about him not confronting his ex.

Speaker 2 (01:04:32):
That's fine at this point, honestly, just move on. Really,
you've gotten the cold water. You already knew it too.
He's like, I knew she's been unfaithful. I just thought
maybe it'd get better. It's like, brother, that's a sad,
sad story. I think, Uh, you know your sister's a
home record, bro. And now that we know you're the
younger brother not the older brother, I take back everything

(01:04:54):
I've said, yeah about what you should have been doing
or could have been doing, especially given the dynamic you
describe be in your family. It doesn't sound like there's
any way you could have flipped her to change her behavior. Anyway.
So I'm just glad you have not been corrupted by
her rotten moral compass. So that's nice.

Speaker 4 (01:05:10):
That is nice. He said he found a nice apartment
for himself and that once the divorce is final he
can simply continue to be a good dad and get
over everything that's happened. I've seen him a few times
since then. We're still close. I'm looking forward to seeing
him find a girl who actually cares about him, and
I regret not growing a pair sooner. But now it's over.
My sister continues on with Mark, but she's on her
own now. Thanks for hearing me out, guys, and you

(01:05:31):
have learned a life lesson my friend. And that is
the end of this episode.

Speaker 2 (01:05:35):
Yeah, so if you love us, make sure you subscribe.

Speaker 4 (01:05:39):
He freaking love you and

Speaker 2 (01:05:41):
See you tomorrow.

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