I discovered INTIMATE videos of my husband with other women…he then blamed it on me! - r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is aam. This is John, your og Okay
Storytime podcast host, and we got some delicious, juicy stories
coming up.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
But if you want to hear that deliciousness, you know,
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Speaker 3 (00:12):
I discovered intimate videos of my husband with another woman.
He then blamed it on me.

Speaker 4 (00:17):
It's your fault that I'm having an affair.

Speaker 3 (00:19):
My husband has had the same phone for an eternity.
He went from the iPhone eight to the iPhone fifteen,
and the guy at the store told us to sink
his old phone onto the MacBook and back up all
his old info from his previous phone. Problem is, when
his new phone was down backing up, he had photos
and videos from before our relationship. By the way, this
comes from scorpiosb ten on the Okay Storytime subreddit. He

(00:41):
had intimate videos and photos with a lot of other girls.
I felt so embarrassed and crushed. I know I should
have left it alone, but I asked to see because
I wanted to make sure the dates were from before.
I'm more of a chunky woman. I'm pretty short and
all of my weight tends to go to my hips.
I'm already insecure about my body and looks, but now
I'm even more unsre sure of how he feels towards me.

(01:01):
Some of these girls were really skinny, and the pictures
were just repulsive. He had videos of girls giving him
you know, and he had several shots where you could
tell he obviously propped up his phone. I know all
of these videos were taken before he met me, and
I know iCloud saves your stuff automatically to the cloud
when you photograph or record something while on Wi Fi,
but I'm still so furious. I can't believe he would

(01:23):
have all these women on video. This also has my
head spiraling because I don't know if he's bored with
our spicy sleep life. I honestly feel like I can't
compete with the things he had on his phone. And
he's brought it up to me before that he wanted
to spice up our spicy sleep life. But now I
don't think I even want to have spicy sleep with him.
All I can think of and imagine are those friggin'
videos he had. How could these women let him record them?

(01:45):
It's just so shameless. I'm honestly considering moving back in
with my sister until my head clears. He's a great husband,
but I can't deal with this at the moment. I'm
completely disgusted by him. I don't even want to look
at him. And then there are some relevant comments and
a little bit more I want to out there because
I don't want to like shame people who are into
filming people consensually. Right, if you're filming people and they

(02:07):
don't know about it, that's messed up. Don't do that
and illegal. But some people have a mutual agreement it's consensual.
They want to film stuff. Now, obviously, if you're moving
into a new relationship, get rid of that. But like
she said, this backs it up to the cloud. You
know what I'm saying, Like, if.

Speaker 4 (02:21):
You're in possession of things that make her partner comfortable.

Speaker 5 (02:23):
All right, get rid of that.

Speaker 4 (02:25):
I would get rid of them stuff like that, going
back reminiscing on.

Speaker 3 (02:28):
It, No, not absolutely. If he's reminiscing on that, that's
a problem. Yeah, but I don't know if we know
that he's for sure doing that, right, But.

Speaker 4 (02:34):
He said it would spice up their spicy sleep lifeform.
That what she was thinking.

Speaker 3 (02:38):
That's what she was thinking.

Speaker 4 (02:39):
Gotchatcha, I would have a conversation.

Speaker 3 (02:40):
Let's have a conversation.

Speaker 4 (02:41):
I sure had clears Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:43):
Right, relevant comment. He claims he forgot them. Part of
me believes him because there are things that I've seen
him delete that showed backed up onto his phone. Also,
all his text message from twenty fifteen till now showed
up on his phone somehow. I really hope he wasn't
rewatching them, but from his reaction, he was more confused
than anything else. He told me he's deleted those from
his devices, but didn't know they were still on his eCloud.

(03:04):
I want to talk to him about it, but I'm
just so upset. Maybe I have to give myself a
couple of days to not blow this out of proportion.
See that's what I'm saying, Like, you do need to
take a few days, because I do think this might
be blown.

Speaker 4 (03:13):
Out of proportion.

Speaker 3 (03:14):
Yeah, yeah, as you guys suggested, I asked him to
delete them, and he didn't seem upset about it at all.
I can tell he was more worried about how I felt.
So we sat down, signed on to his iCloud from
the laptop, and we had to manually sit there and
delete over fifty videos and well over two hundred photos
of him and other women. All the videos seem to
be consensual, yay, So I'm not worried about him being

(03:36):
a weird, creepy guy. But it's still super weird to
me that someone would have videos of themselves having spicy sleep.
And this is what I'm saying, I don't think we
should shame people who were into that. It might not
be a youth thing, but some people are into it.
I'm starting to question it. My husband was a corn
star before he met me. Some of these girls look
like models and were taking the videos themselves. Why would
a lady do that? It just isn't morally right to me.

(03:58):
I asked if he was selling these videos, and he
reassured me that he would never put himself out there
because he wants a private life and wants to have
a family. Seems like you're like, shaming is something that
you don't understand, Like, op, that's just not something you
can connect with. That doesn't mean, you know what I'm saying, Like,
it doesn't mean.

Speaker 5 (04:13):
It's a bad thing.

Speaker 3 (04:14):
He had a stupid grin on his face and I
couldn't tell if he was joking. Or being serious but nervous.
He smiles when he's uncomfortable. And he told me that
he would ask me to delete anything that had my
exes in it, and he would want to watch the others.
I got more upset because I couldn't tell if he
was joking or was he trying to manipulate me into
letting him stay with some of them because they weren't
his exes. It bothers me because if he was being serious,

(04:36):
then he does not value women. Why doesn't he get jealous?
Why would anyone want to see their partner having spicy
sleep because it turns some people on. Everybody has different kings,
you know. I feel like he shrugged it off and
brought up the whole spicing up our spicy sleep lives?
Why now is he trying to flip this on me?
I could tell he was actually getting a little frustrated now,
But why why would he be upset? I'm the one

(04:56):
who just had to witness all this crap.

Speaker 4 (04:58):
On his phone.

Speaker 3 (04:59):
He brought how innocent I am, and that anytime he
tried to do anything out of the norm, I shut
him down.

Speaker 5 (05:04):
He once asked me.

Speaker 3 (05:05):
To let him you know up here, but I don't
see why anyone would get any pleasure from rubbing their
mmmm annamm, Like, why bring this up now? It had
nothing to do with the situation. His point was that
he felt like I was judging him. Yeah, because why
the f is there so many videos and pictures with
these women? He brought up how I made him feel
weird for liking feet. I don't understand how I can

(05:27):
make someone feel weird about something that's already weird enough. Okay,
olbe It sounds like you maybe like it's okay to
have your preferences, but some people have theirs, and let's
not shame people for their their case.

Speaker 4 (05:37):
He's giving them more hard time.

Speaker 3 (05:38):
Yeah, why does any think that's weird? I give him
a good time down there. I give him spicy sleep
regularly when I'm not feeling insecure, So I don't see
why he would feel the need to spice things up.
Does he want to record videos with us as well?
I don't know how I feel about it, seeing as
how many other women he's done it with. If I
was the only one, then that's different. But there's nothing
special about doing that with him because he's done it

(05:59):
so much. Kind of get that. I kind of get that.
If he's bored with me, why won't you just come
straight out and say it. I feel like at this
point he's settling to not hurt my feelings. I'm more
upset than hurt at this point because he tried to
flip things on me, and we're constantly flipping things on
y'all every weekday at three PMPSD. You can join his
live on our YouTube. Just tap our profile. I think
I desperately need to get away from him, maybe just

(06:21):
a day or two, and clear my mind. You guys
have given me a lot of good insight, but typing
this just infuriates me even more. I can't hold back
the tears, and I just keep getting flashes of the
pictures every time I look at him or close my eyes.
I can't stop thinking about them. So I just want
to give myself distanced to think clearly. I'll be staying
at my sister's place for the weekend, and I'll be
updating you guys when I get back home on Monday.

Speaker 4 (06:43):
Nice. Nice.

Speaker 3 (06:44):
Yeah, I mean I agree that seeing something like that
would also stay is stuck in my head and trying
to have spicy sleep with my partner after seeing that
I would need some time to process. But I don't
know if it's fair to hold it against your partner
or to sh shame them for what they were into
before you. And I think intimacy and compatibility, Yeah, they're

(07:07):
big factors.

Speaker 4 (07:07):
Yeah, clear head, see how you feel about it. If
you're uncomfortable with it, try to work it out. Therapy.

Speaker 6 (07:14):
My grandson's name, so I staged an intervention. I fifty
plus male, have a daughter twenty six female. He's currently
a TikTok influencer. Oh no, oh no, and pregnant with
a boy. She is obsessing with this influencing thing, everything
being about the numbers. Her husband has been evicted to
the attic okay because he ruins her aesthetic that is

(07:34):
for the videos. He isn't allowed to bring his items
or clothes outside of it, and whenever he as much
as forgets a cup on the table, she will scream.
My wife and I try to guide her into therapy,
and I've been paying for the appointments, but we do
not know if she has actually been going. Now she
is pregnant, which means it isn't just her and my
son in law's problem. It is also a problem for

(07:55):
my grandson. She wants no toys in the house for
similar reasons and has banned as for buying any. She
doesn't want colorful baby cloth because the baby will stand
out on her videos too much.

Speaker 5 (08:05):
The baby's gonna upstage you. And then then there is.

Speaker 6 (08:09):
The name Robin r A w p h y n
ny marve m A r v e I g h
Linter l y and t e r. And that was
for all the podcast listeners. That is Robin Marvey Linter.

Speaker 7 (08:24):
That is the most atrocious spelling of any name I've
ever seen.

Speaker 6 (08:28):
It literally looks like a keyboard smash. Why I appreciate
that the two middle names are comprised of the names
of both sets of grandparents, Marvin and Leigh, Lynn and Peter.
The amalgams are awful and Robin is her spelling of
Robin because she doesn't want her son to be a sidekick,
whatever that means. She doesn't care that he will get bullied,

(08:49):
that his name will be mispronounced, misspelled, and a nightmare
on any official capacity, that he will grow to be
an adult with the name instead of staying as a baby.
It was the last strong so I staged in intervention
after regular talking didn't work. I contacted everyone we both know,
and even posted on redditch to try and convince her
that it's an effing horrible idea and that she needs

(09:10):
to think of more than what will look nice.

Speaker 5 (09:12):
For her tiktoks or get her more views.

Speaker 6 (09:14):
She will have a child, and that child's needs and
well beings should be a priority. Naming him a ridiculous
word salad and depriving him of toys and joy is
not an environment suitable for a child. She called me
an a hole, and I called her delusional in return.
I really don't think I'm the a hole here, but
my wife's family seems to think I overreacted since it's

(09:34):
just a name. But if she's willing to do all
of this just for views on an app, what else
is she going to do to this child for the
sake of her influencing.

Speaker 5 (09:43):
That's what I want to know. Am I the a hole? No?

Speaker 6 (09:46):
Honestly, you need a step in here real quick. Figure
this out.

Speaker 1 (09:50):
She's your husband, I don't know.

Speaker 6 (09:51):
He just seems like he's in the attics. He's locked
in the attic.

Speaker 1 (09:54):
Is anyone going to talk about that?

Speaker 5 (09:56):
That's freaking up? What's what's what's the uh. Jane Eyre?

Speaker 1 (10:01):
Was Jane Eyre in the attic?

Speaker 6 (10:02):
No, his other wife was in the attic. I think
I'm not familiar. I think his wife was in the attic.
This is Jane Eyre.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
I know someone who was in an attict but I
I don't.

Speaker 5 (10:10):
Think someone was in an attic. Edit.

Speaker 6 (10:12):
Her and her husband have separated twice in the past,
but always end up together. They keep breaking up and
rekindling over and over again. They had an impromptu marriage
on Valentine's Day to heal their relationship as they now
have a child on the way. The TikTok thing has
been a frequent source of pain for them, and there
is an update. This is a bit anticlimactic. We had
a family meeting after my daughter's husband got off of

(10:34):
work and presented her the Reddit threads and as well
as some stories that people shared in the comments. She
was reading the comments for about an hour while they
kept pouring in and it overwhelmed her. Didn't help that
I kept responding to comments during this time, which was
stupid and inconsiderate of me. I did apologize to her,
but she doesn't have an inner to forgive me. At
this moment Sope, he's like reading comments where they're like

(10:54):
you can't have your kid on display online and hope
He's like, she's right, you.

Speaker 7 (10:58):
Know, yeah, I just can't forgive you for having like
normal takes and for trying to like make me see
the light.

Speaker 1 (11:05):
That's how terrible of.

Speaker 5 (11:07):
It, how terrible of a father you are.

Speaker 6 (11:08):
At first, she was very quiet before admitting that she
needed help. She said that she was struggling with feeling
fulfilled after her work was made remote back in the
original lockdown, and needed more things to do that separated
work from home. It's where the influencing came in. The
numbers going up gave her the same reward that work
used to, and she wanted to replicate it with a
mommy blog as her other ones stagnated. Her husband suggested

(11:30):
that she pick up art again and offered to buy
her art supplies. She agreed, Okay, she's finding new hobbies.

Speaker 1 (11:36):
That's good.

Speaker 5 (11:36):
She can be an art blogger.

Speaker 6 (11:38):
Turns out that a lot of you were right and
that the names were inspired by Twilight renesme.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
Wait, what how how were they inspowered? Chat? Can you
tell us how that respired?

Speaker 7 (11:49):
So?

Speaker 6 (11:50):
I really don't know She wanted to honor the grandparents,
which was nice, but couldn't think of any names that fit.
She also wanted a bird name as the first name,
but didn't want plane.

Speaker 5 (11:59):
Rob.

Speaker 6 (12:00):
One of my sons suggested the name Adler, as well
as Arne, Arvid, and Ari from my sister in law's culture,
and she agreed to one of them. I'm not going
to reveal the new middle names for freshly discovered privacy reasons. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:11):
Yeah, I was like.

Speaker 6 (12:13):
I know, I literally told you guys the name originally,
but it was so.

Speaker 7 (12:18):
I had to tell you I accidentally docked my baby nephews.

Speaker 5 (12:22):
But it's fine because they're not using that a name anymore.

Speaker 6 (12:25):
Yeah, but some of the comments in the tragedy side
gave her good ideas. That's so funny, it says t
R A G E D E I g H tragedy.

Speaker 7 (12:36):
Just that's the way you spell tragedy, tragedy, tragedy.

Speaker 6 (12:40):
My daughter seems so defeated now, but says it is
because she didn't realize how much the numbers on social
media were taking over.

Speaker 5 (12:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (12:48):
Finally figuring out, she agreed to delete the mommy blog
at her husband's request, and she said she will limit
her personal account to just the makeup and fashion content
she used to do. Time will see how this goes.
My in law is still apprehensive as he's had to
have been on eggshells in their home and isn't happy
about the TikTok at all with her past behavior. He

(13:08):
says he wants this to work, which is why he
married her despite everything that if she doesn't actually go
to therapy my wife and I paid for, he's going
to look at options or leaving, which is fair. I
mean he's been kind of pushed to the side this
whole time.

Speaker 1 (13:20):
You get shoved into the attic. Yeah, it's tough. Somebody
can just go like dance, Yeah.

Speaker 6 (13:28):
No, He's like, he's like in the attic and he's
just like mumbling to himself.

Speaker 5 (13:31):
He's like, I think the apples right. He's like, can
I come out now? I practice all night? Please? I
practice your dances, lovely, please let me out.

Speaker 6 (13:42):
Nelly Nell, She's she's every time she starts recording, she's like,
and what will you be doing? And he's like, I'll
be in the attic making no noise and pretending I
don't exist.

Speaker 1 (13:55):
And holding my breath the entire time.

Speaker 6 (13:58):
He wants to say to one of the commons that
he isn't a wet blanket, but was just trying to
keep his wife healthy for the sake of their unborn child.
Some of the comments regarding how creeps use mommy blogs
as material for their unsavory desires also was a wake
up call for all of us. And none of us
will post photos or information relating to our family children online.

(14:18):
You have to be very careful about posting kids online. Yeah,
wife is taking her shopping for baby clothes sometime next week,
and she managed to convince her that toys are not
clutter but necessary for kids. She reminded my daughter of
her own favorite toys and how upset she was with
when one of them disappeared. So while I was an ale,
it helped my daughter a little bit, Reddit helped me
a lot more. And I would like to thank you

(14:38):
for indulging me in this.

Speaker 5 (14:40):
And there is.

Speaker 6 (14:40):
Another update, final update, But I'm glad that there's she's
turning over a new leaf.

Speaker 1 (14:46):
Yeah, she's great. She seems to be taking steps in
the right direction.

Speaker 6 (14:49):
She's going to become like a self help TikToker. She's
like I realized that TikTok was taking over my life,
and I'm going to help you guys realize that too.

Speaker 7 (14:57):
Now she's actually going to turn the baby into like
it's going to be a ventriloquist TikTok, where it's like
she pretends that like you and people have like dog Instagram,
it's gonna be the baby's perspective on everything. But the
baby's going to be really wise and also seem to
have the perspective of a twenty six year old girl.

Speaker 5 (15:14):
She should just do like a good Luck Charlie kind
of thing.

Speaker 1 (15:16):
That's actually genius.

Speaker 6 (15:18):
Yeah, because she can still use her baby, but she
doesn't actively put the baby on display.

Speaker 5 (15:22):
She's just like, good.

Speaker 6 (15:22):
Luck, really, Robin, good luck, here's the post anyway for
your entertainments. Since Reddit managed to successfully convince her not
to use Robin, she is now asking for opinions about
her tone down baby nameless that she has for future kids.
I told her it is not a good idea, but
here we go. No girls Laura Le Ashlyn Ashle, Juliet's,

(15:47):
Julian Julia.

Speaker 5 (15:48):
Helen, Julie Lynn, that Ula Lal Jula Leylan.

Speaker 6 (15:55):
I think it's really because it's Opie says it reminds
me of Ukulele.

Speaker 5 (15:58):
I think it's pronounced Julie.

Speaker 1 (16:00):
Julia Lalen Julia lal.

Speaker 6 (16:02):
Girl went like she was like, yeah, you're right, I
should realize that a TikTok is taking over my life.
I need to take care of my baby. And then
she's like, I've come up with a new list Julia Lalen,
Julu Lalen, Boys, Martin Petron Carton. I have no idea
what it's trying to be. Oatly Oatly, that's a brand,
no free sponsors with a T. That is so funny.

(16:24):
If she was like, I'm trying to become like an
Oatly sponsorship right here, I'm gonna name my kid after
him Oatly.

Speaker 7 (16:31):
Yes, please give us free oat milk huntry penty.

Speaker 6 (16:35):
By the way, you can join us live every weekday
three pm PST.

Speaker 5 (16:39):
Just tap our profle.

Speaker 1 (16:41):
Yes, just our profile.

Speaker 5 (16:42):
I feel pr o e h p h I y
l e E And you won't find us if you
don't type in that way.

Speaker 1 (16:51):
Yeah, that's the right way to spell profile.

Speaker 6 (16:53):
No, they aren't typos. Yes, she still likes the double
nd too much. Yes, I know the answer. My daughter
still design opinions opinions, penty is there as a joke,
as it's considered an old uncle type of name in
her husband's culture, and I have some clients in their
sixties with the name, but otherwise it's normal. She's doing
well in therapy despite this setback. Her current baby is

(17:14):
still having a sensible name. She has some normal names
on her lists, like Jenna, Marcus and Ollie. So what
do you think read it?

Speaker 7 (17:21):
I think if she wants an interesting name, she should
just name her something like Irish. Yeah, like Ssha, like Schersha. Yeah, exactly.
It took me so long to realize that it's not
like pronounced SWARSEI yeah, it's pronounced Sarah, I pronounced Serisha.

Speaker 1 (17:35):
No.

Speaker 2 (17:37):
My husband left me during my pregnancy. Now he's blaming
me for our relationship problems.

Speaker 5 (17:42):
I might be wrong, but it seems like he's the
blame I think. So I'm confused.

Speaker 2 (17:48):
I'm in deep with my husband, but a lot has
happened in our relationship, and I'm not sure what to do.

Speaker 5 (17:52):
Me thirty female and my husband thirty.

Speaker 2 (17:55):
Four male, have been together eleven years, married for almost
five now, my.

Speaker 5 (17:58):
God, we have three together.

Speaker 2 (18:00):
God, by the way, this comes from you slash brilliant
links two four one two on the r slash. Okay,
storytime separated it. So our relationship has always been a
bit passionate. We have always argued often, et cetera. Over
the years, arguments started happening less. We grew into a
really good team together, helping each other grow, finish college,

(18:21):
find careers, savings, buy a home together, and raising our kids.

Speaker 5 (18:26):
There you go, there you have. It's going great. That's all.
That's so we need to know.

Speaker 2 (18:29):
Right, he left our marital home and I was in
my third trimester pregnant with our third child. His reasons
were that I wasn't there for him enough, like giving
him hugs.

Speaker 5 (18:39):
Background.

Speaker 2 (18:40):
We also had a few years of bedroom issues because
he wanted intimacy very often and I was closed off
dealing with emotional issues. I had felt very emotionally neglected
from early on in our relationship. For example, if I
was crying about something he said or did, he would
turn it around on me and basically tell me I
shouldn't be crying because whatever it is, it's my fault. Oh,
my goodness, that's just well, never good. No. Another one

(19:05):
of his reasons was that I wasn't there for him enough.
When he was going through gut issues background. It was
a confusing time. He had trouble eating anything and everything.
He was trying to figure out what worked for him,
and I just didn't know how else to help him.
So I supported him by taking him to the doctors
for an endoscopy and tried my best to emotionally support
him and being listening here and be the one primarily

(19:27):
taking care of the kit. For some reason, our arguments
started increasing. His behavior started changing before and early in
my pregnancy.

Speaker 5 (19:34):
He started talking to a female friend he hadn't spoken
to in.

Speaker 2 (19:38):
A decade, oh more often via Instagram, DMS and over
the phone, and we started hanging out with her and
her family, but their interactions were always weird. She seemed
flirty to me, touching him long hugs, smiling gaily with him,
and would DM him things like.

Speaker 5 (19:55):
I forgot how easy it is to talk to you up, don't.

Speaker 2 (19:58):
Talk to him, don't talk to and he would tell
her things like how her personality was nice, bubbly, and cheery.
Then he started talking to girls at the gym and
adding them on Instagram. These girls are gorgeous, by the way, No,
I'm not too ugly myself, but they are younger, good bodies, etc.
He also started smoking and hiding it from me. I

(20:19):
was more upset about the lying and hiding, and just
concerned about because I was pregnant and a baby was coming,
but I was willing to learn about its possible effects
or how.

Speaker 5 (20:29):
To avoid it.

Speaker 2 (20:30):
Then, after a stressful month for him at home with
our arguments, pregnancy, responsibilities at work, helping his parents, his
persistent gut issues, and mental health, he left.

Speaker 5 (20:41):
He just left.

Speaker 2 (20:41):
He left during the pregnancy. Yeah, during the third trimester.
He slept in his car, stayed in hotels, and eventually
leased an apartment that he began to furnish. Meanwhile, the
kids and I were left at home without his support
at what felt like a very critical time.

Speaker 5 (20:57):
I had a healthy pregnancy, but was very tired.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
It's had a busy schedule and I was working full time,
et cetera. He would come and go from our house,
sometimes taking the kids to school. We don't know when
to expect him or for how long. He was very flighty,
angry and argumentative, not all there.

Speaker 6 (21:12):
That's so sad going on. That's so sad for the
kids too, Like, ugh, they're just you know, they're probably
a little bit older. Yeah, probably got to remember this
time of her life when he was like going in
and out right right.

Speaker 2 (21:24):
As soon as he had gotten the apartment, I found
out via purchase notifications on my phone that he was
on dating apps. He was also following girls he met
at the gym on Instagram, and out of mistrust, I
started snooping on his phone and found he had an
Instagram page dedicated to nearly an Instagram model.

Speaker 5 (21:42):
Oh my god, wow Wow.

Speaker 2 (21:45):
He started watching corn regularly, and he started driving out
and meeting up with female friends from his past to smoke,
do yoga, help them move things, and go to museums.
And I also found a poem slash a note about
a gym receptionist he had met and how he felt
for her and wanted to support her and her child,
and how he thought she was the most beautiful thing.

Speaker 5 (22:06):
Ever, why don't we start with supporting your own children? Yeah,
and writing a poem for your wife?

Speaker 2 (22:11):
Hella left your pregnant wife? Yeah, what a poem for
the gym or stiles? Come on, this was all so painful.
During delivery, he was there, just like he had been
for our first two He was helpful, but maybe not
as sharp and attentive as he was before. I sort
of felt like I could have done it on my
own with the help of the nurses and the staff.
When we came home, he was helping me recover, cooking

(22:33):
off in and feeding me well and taking the kids
where they needed to be so I could feed and recover.
He would still sort of come and go, and he
was still making plans with other women and female friends.

Speaker 5 (22:46):
Not a good sign. Not a good sign at all,
not a good sign.

Speaker 2 (22:49):
I reached out to all of the women he was
interacting with and that I knew of from Instagram and
from what he has shared and what they have shared.
I don't think he has ever actually physically cheated on me.

Speaker 6 (22:59):
Okay, okay, got one thing right, a boor Sam Dior.

Speaker 5 (23:05):
He's not even helping you.

Speaker 6 (23:06):
It's like it's not even a thing of like, oh well,
I couldn't divorce him because I didn't have anyone to
take care of the kids.

Speaker 2 (23:14):
Yes, around five weeks postpartum, he found out I.

Speaker 5 (23:17):
Opened a separate bank account.

Speaker 2 (23:19):
I did this because I was tired of his apartment
that I didn't consent to draining our joint account, plus
the frequent dispensary purchases, as none of it was helpful
towards our family.

Speaker 5 (23:28):
That's ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
That's such a good point. When he found out, he
argued with me so badly. He called my parents and
kicked me out of the house. What he still had
his apartment. I felt uncomfortable with how he was acting
and didn't want the kids around him, so I packed them,
our newborn and our dog up and my parents picked
us up at least, so he's got her parents.

Speaker 5 (23:47):
Yeah, that's so nice. I'm so glad.

Speaker 2 (23:49):
He made me leave my car keys and house keys
with him, so I don't have access to either. And
he left the kids' car seats at the front door
and made us leave as quickly as possible.

Speaker 6 (23:58):
Oh my gosh, man, is what is going on? That
is the point where he's like literally putting his kids
at risk?

Speaker 5 (24:05):
Yeah, Like that's insane. And for what for? Like cheating?
Because you cheated?

Speaker 2 (24:11):
Yeah, because you cheated, Like, oh my gosh, maybe not physically,
but definitely emotionally at the very least.

Speaker 5 (24:17):
Or sure, it was awful.

Speaker 2 (24:18):
We stayed at my parents' house for nearly a month,
but he stopped by once and got police involved. Him
and my parents got into an argument.

Speaker 5 (24:25):
He wouldn't leave.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
My dad tried to literally kick him. My mom blocked,
but my husband said he was kicked. The parents say
that it was blocked.

Speaker 7 (24:33):
Ugh.

Speaker 2 (24:33):
We decided to try co parenting, where one parent would
stay with the kids for a week at home and
then we would switch parents. Eventually that got tiring and
he just ended up back at home. And now we
are back home together after all of that. No, oh
my gosh, I'm trying to give it a real second chance.
My parents never want to see him again. Yes, understandably,

(24:54):
ry understandable.

Speaker 5 (24:55):
He has a hard time.

Speaker 2 (24:56):
Because of the incident on of my parents now saying
that I didn't stand up for him. My dad is
not safe to be around. My dad has never been abusive.
FYI and I have a hard time because of all
the things that have happened, emotional infidelity, abandoning us, kicking
me out, especially during the third most vulnerable time in
my life.

Speaker 5 (25:15):
Yet literally hope he was pregnant.

Speaker 2 (25:16):
Pregnant, like very pregnant, very far along divorce him, My goodness.
I try to not bring up anything or argue, just
try to be a good wife. I work full time
at home while caring for our baby.

Speaker 5 (25:28):
I do all school.

Speaker 2 (25:29):
Pickups, drop offs, kids, extracurriculars, a majority of all cooking
for him and kids, and much of the household duties. Also,
I'm enthusiastic intimately and consciously choosing to be kind, warm,
happy for myself and all of us at home. That
sounds so exhausting. Yeah, Like I'm exhausted just reading all
that too.

Speaker 6 (25:48):
He's like, I'm doing literally everything, and I'm being the
perfect person and perfect wife.

Speaker 2 (25:51):
Just so that he doesn't bring up it, yea, and
so he doesn't start yelling at me. He does help
around the house and is being a better dad to
the kids. He's also in school, working on his men
and has other projects he's working on. Things have been
calmed down for a bit, no more apartment and coming
back up financially. Throughout these issues, he brought up divorce often,
almost as more of a threat. He almost filed. I

(26:13):
consulted a lawyer once, but neither of us have followed through.
We're sort of just back here with our messed up
past right now, trying to move forward. Kids are all
still doing well and happy, So yeah, I don't know.
I just know that he still wants to blame these
things on me, But we are also taking a couple's
glass and are on a trajectory to start marriage counseling,
sing well, I'm glad the kids are doing happy, and

(26:36):
you know what could make you happy too is joining
us live on YouTube every weekday after hempst paper profile.

Speaker 6 (26:43):
Cabit and I hope this lady divorces her husband. She
sounds so resigned to this situation. She's like, well, I
guess it's just this now.

Speaker 5 (26:51):
Right.

Speaker 2 (26:52):
For her final thoughts, she does say I still love
him a lot, and I want a life with him,
even though it seems very difficult to do that, not
with his relationship with my parents. I love who he is,
his interests, and what he looks like, how he treats us,
when he treats us good and et cetera, just not
the bad ways which she's treated me.

Speaker 5 (27:09):
That's a thing.

Speaker 6 (27:10):
Yeah, that's when you're in a bad relationship and an
abusive relationship. There's got to be good times, but it's
about like focusing on the really bad times and realizing
those aren't okay, those aren't normal exactly.

Speaker 2 (27:21):
But I feel like I just need some validation and
apologies because I see changing him and.

Speaker 5 (27:26):
I don't know, Ah, that's the end of our story.

Speaker 2 (27:28):
But that like is just classic signs of an abusive
relationship of just like like you're staying with him because
you see changing him, and that's probably very valid.

Speaker 5 (27:38):
Like the things you do.

Speaker 6 (27:39):
See, like you do see it, and they do make
the changes that he's back home, right, But that's not
necessarily like yeah.

Speaker 2 (27:47):
And I feel like if she's waiting for future change
changes in him, it's like you just you probably see
how that could happen, but based on his past issues,
do you think that actually will happen?

Speaker 5 (27:58):
Exactly?

Speaker 6 (27:58):
It's like you can't just wait around and give him
more time in your life when you're trying to take
care of kids and he's not you know, there for you, right,
and like as a partner.

Speaker 5 (28:08):
Yeah, And like if.

Speaker 2 (28:09):
You're saying he like he's a good person, Like I
know he's a good person.

Speaker 5 (28:13):
I like it when he's doing good things.

Speaker 2 (28:16):
You have to consider the bad things you have when
thinking about how good of a person he is, Like
it can't just be like, oh, he's.

Speaker 5 (28:22):
A good person, like sometimes yeah, that's a good relationship.
Then yeah, that's no good. But that's the end of
that story.

Speaker 1 (28:29):
John here og host. We're gonna get back to these stories,
but a quick three minute break from as for our sponsors.

Speaker 6 (28:35):
I want to divorce my wife because our relationship is terrible.

Speaker 5 (28:38):
But she has cancer. Oh damn.

Speaker 6 (28:41):
I don't even know what to stated that rough below
is a summary of a life situation I am living through.
I feel I have no one to talk to about
it and that no one would really understand if I
tried to talk to.

Speaker 5 (28:51):
Them about it.

Speaker 6 (28:51):
I created this anonymous account to put it out into
the world. I am not looking for answers or solutions.
I just need the release of getting it off my chest.
Thank you for a loile aowing me to do this.
By the way, this comes from Rare quarter four one
two four on the ar slash Shoky Storytimes Suburden.

Speaker 3 (29:05):
So.

Speaker 6 (29:06):
I am a forty year old man who has been
married for twelve years. I have two children, ages seven
to eleven. I own a business with my wife that
we started two years after she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer.
Oh wow, which was four years after we were married.
We have grown the business to a certain point together
in March of this year, my wife stopped working suddenly

(29:26):
because of her disease and the medicine she was taking. Also,
she learned of a major surgery she was having that
was scheduled in May. The two children we have met
through the foster system and ultimately adopted each of them.
With her disease, we lost our ability to have children
and our ability to have intercourse. In addition to the
loss of her physical ability to have intercourse, her disease
and the treatments have removed her hormonal characteristics that create

(29:50):
desire or attraction to me or anyone. When she left
the business, I was shouldered with performing her job in
addition to mine. It has been challenging and stressful for
me to handle not only the work, but the full
burden of supporting our household financially. In retrospect, I've been
an emotional and physical health decline for several years. My
emotional state has been up and down with the result
of me not acting as my best self around my family,

(30:12):
my wife, and my work. I like to think that
I have managed well given the circumstances. I've grown our business,
stabilized the two jobs I am responsible for, become a
leader in philanthropy in our community, and I mostly show
up as a great father to my children. The last
two years have been particularly bad for me. The industry
we are in went into a period of decline and
reduced our business revenues substantially. I had to make some

(30:35):
very tough decisions with the business, and the stress and
weight of the decisions weighed on me constantly. At the
same time, we purchased a new home, a significantly upgraded
and more costly home that we renovated. The last two
years living with me and what I have been dealing
with has been unpleasant. I would imagine, Wow, just a
lot going is a lot to deal with. It's like,

(30:56):
how do you I mean, like there's more to this story,
but how do you even And I don't even know
how to handle this because it's like you feel so
guilty for thinking about divorce, right, but it's also were.

Speaker 5 (31:07):
Doing terribly Yeah, it's kind of just like really bad timing. Yeah.

Speaker 6 (31:11):
My wife and I have had challenges in our own relationship.
Once we had children and we worked together, there were
many conflicts that arose between us. I think our relationship
change from a marriage to a partnership where we were
united in raising our kids and running our business. Both
of us were very independent people when we met and
we were married. One of the most attractive characteristics I
saw on her was her fierce independence. My independence derived

(31:33):
from a drive to set my own path. At one
point in my life, I felt compelled to either let
life come to me or to resolve to take control
of my path. The independence came from me choosing a
path very different from anyone in my family or support system,
which meant I would need to figure things out myself.
When cancer entered our relationship, my wife, who was fiercely independent,
became dependent on me and those around her. She not

(31:54):
only lost control of her own health, she became for
some time dependent on others. Especially when I process what
it meant for my wife to be diagnosed with serious
cancer and what it meant for our future, I jumped
head first into supporting her. In hindsight, it seems that
in one moment in my life, I completely altered my
life trajectory and began to focus on helping her through

(32:15):
the cancer treatment and then the journey to become parents.
In twenty twenty, like the many other awful things happened
that year, my wife and I learned that her disease
has started growing again after five years of no cancer progression.
It was on my birthday that year that we found out.
It seems this moment became a turning point in my
relationship with my wife and also just to like point out,

(32:37):
this is like years of dealing with this cancer that
is coming back. Yeah, that's so hard.

Speaker 2 (32:45):
Yeah, that's really hard because I feel like at that point,
it's like, you know, when you finish up with it,
you get more hopeful, like go, okay, it's done. Yeah,
but then the fact that it keeps coming back, it
just seems like that would be so hard to keep
that helpe around.

Speaker 6 (32:57):
In slow progression. Over the next four years after the
cancer growing, there were three other times she found out
the disease was progressing. I cannot put myself in her
shoes facing a disease that will eventually kill her. After
twenty twenty, now she faced her future with cancer as
a mother for the first time. Our relationship was okay
up until that point. When you strip away intimacy and
spicy sleep desire from a relationship, it's like removing a

(33:20):
leg from a table. It is hard for the table
to stand up, and although it might be upright, it
lacks strength and stability. And after the second reoccurrence of
cancer after twenty twenty, her behavior is starting to change.
She owned her focus on our two children and their lives.
This is completely understandable when a mother faced with her
mortality in the form of a deadly disease would naturally
focus on providing a loving support of her children. I

(33:42):
think she began curating the children's life as happy, warm
and peaceful. She was working to create a life for them,
void of conflict, where she and they could experience warm
quality time. Over time, her diligence in creating this life
for our children started to alter her parenting style, specifically,
her style of discipline change, and I was not I
not kept abreast of how or what was changing. Probably

(34:03):
I'm assuming she did not want to discipline them, Yeah, yeah,
because she was like, I want everything to be perfect
and happy, and then to only remember the best parts
about the relationship with me.

Speaker 5 (34:11):
Oh my gosh, that's just so complicated and so heavy. Yeah,
and putting all that parenting burden on Ope. Yeah, yard right.

Speaker 6 (34:20):
In parallel to these changes happening, I was entering the
most stressful period of time of my life as a
business owner. I hadn't noticed it while it was happening,
but she began to drift further and further away from
me personally. The change in parenting style, my stress and
the change in the way we discipline our children started
creating conflict. My parenting style was consistent over time. We
sought insight for my child's therapist on how to handle

(34:41):
specific situations of discipline, and I followed this advice as prescribed.
My wife chose not to. This difference became obvious in
her home because when I went interact with my children
in a time of discipline, she would correct me and
criticize me in front of the children. Oh wow, this
has been the source of ninety percent of the conflict
in our home for year years now. Free clinicians, two
marriage counselors, and a child therapist advise that my wife's

(35:04):
behavior by criticizing my parenting in front of the children
was not appropriate. Nonetheless, she continued this behavior.

Speaker 2 (35:11):
It's just kind of known that, like you can't like
if another teacher maybe messed up on something like maybe
just didn't give the right instruction or something like that.
You can't say that they did that in front of
the kids, you know what I mean.

Speaker 5 (35:22):
It's like you talk to them about it and you say, hey,
I noticed this. Yeah, I don't have.

Speaker 2 (35:26):
To undermine the teaching because then the kids will notice
that and then start to think like, oh, there's problems,
and then they'll get stressed out or whatever.

Speaker 5 (35:32):
Like in this situation especial, that's yeah.

Speaker 6 (35:34):
That's what's happening, especially when you also have the added
thing of them watching their mother go through.

Speaker 5 (35:40):
This like disease. Yeah, like that's just hard.

Speaker 6 (35:43):
Her method of correcting me and criticizing me and my
parenting in front of the children impacted my relationship with
my children. I reminded, begged, and pleaded with her to
stop doing this, but the behavior never stopped or even
slowed down at all. It reached a point where I
felt so helpless when it happened. I would get enraged
in front of her at the kids. I would yell
and shout and use curse words in my reactions. I

(36:03):
would overreact substantially, and my behavior is regrettable. I never
physically touched anyone in my outbursts. I would refrain from
calling names, but I would yell loudly, and I would
direct my anger and frustration at my wife and the
consistent bad behavior that I felt helpless to deal with
through normal, healthy methods. These outbursts were not habitual and
would occur maybe once a month on average. When I

(36:24):
would have the outbursts, my wife would focus only on
my behavior, on me, and whatever the situation was that
led me to parent, the children would be erased and
I would be the sole and only focus of hers
From then on, she attempted multiple times to record my
outbursts without me knowing, and my pleas for to stop
the bad behavior were ignored. My bad behavior did not
align with her vision of a house filled with peace

(36:45):
and kindness, and over the last year and a half
she has become extremely distant from me personally. Over the
last two years, I have been struggling with stress, anxiety,
and mild depression. She became cold and disconnected from me
over time. In my lowest times over the last two years,
I begged her for support, asked her to show me
some positive support, some acknowledgment of what I do for
the family. I felt what I needed was a spouse

(37:05):
who was in my corner and on my team. My
requests for support from her were ignored. I remember on
multiple occasions when she asked me, what do you mean
my support? I don't know what you want me to do,
even though he is constantly telling me, yeah, that sounds.

Speaker 5 (37:17):
Like he's being pretty clear about it. Yeah.

Speaker 6 (37:20):
This is when I started to feel slighted or taken
advantage of. I have been there, supportive of my wife
for goals, ambitions, and desire to have a family. I
often put aside my own needs and desires and support
of our relationship. I remained faithful to her despite having
the full desire for spicy sleep intimacy. I took my
marriage vows very seriously, and I feel I have lived
them to the best of my ability. Now, when I

(37:42):
need my spouse, this person isn't there for me in
any way. In fact, she has become my biggest critic,
taking every opportunity to criticize my decisions, my behavior, and
my work and what I say. There is no one
in my life that is more of a negative fixture
than she is. She has become the very.

Speaker 5 (37:57):
Opposite of what I need in a spouse.

Speaker 6 (38:00):
Wow, there is a little bit more, But like pausing
just to take all of that in because I think
at this point, I honestly think maybe separation is the way,
like you can still be there for her as like
a friend, right, and as like as she's the mother
of children and like going through an incredibly hard time. Yeah,

(38:21):
and I can't imagine how that, you know, because going
through cancer and also if she's going through chemo and treatment,
that can change your personality absolutely, but that doesn't need
like if it is affecting you and your ability to
take care of your guysids, then it's like at that point,
it's like, maybe separation is needed for you guys to
both function. In January, before she stepped away from the business,

(38:42):
she learned the latest reoccurrence of cancer growth and the
impending surgery that would happen a few months later. It
was around this time when she started to change dramatically.
Before she was much more passive and negative treatment of me.
She was more of just an unsupportive spouse before January.
After January, she became more assertive in her negative treatment
of me. She intentionally ignored me, taking every opportunity to

(39:04):
harshly criticize me, and has become completely void of any
empathy for me as a person. I learned a few
weeks later that she was confiding in her friends about
me and our relationship. She would share only the negative
aspects of me and our relationship with those select few friends.
Some of these friends were also my friends or even
family members. I started to notice that I was being
treated very differently from some of them. I also noticed

(39:25):
that she was emboldened in her criticisms of me. Her
vision of what was going on in our life seemed
to be so narrowly focused on the negative parts of me.
There was no recognition of my feelings, the work I do,
the responsibility I have, and the ninety nine percent of
our lives that I am supportive and a great doubt
but we You could support us by joining us Live
every week to have three PMP stages dubber profile.

Speaker 5 (39:46):
There you go.

Speaker 6 (39:47):
It's it's really really unfair for her to go to
your friends and family and put this all on.

Speaker 5 (39:51):
You, right right, especially when they're his friends. They're his
friends and friends. It's just like, now, come on.

Speaker 6 (39:58):
This continues today and I feel tru Because of our
business situation, a divorce would destroy us financially. It would
set us back five to eight years. My kids would
not be able to stay in the school therein the
house we live and would be sold, and the lifestyle
they live would be dramatically different, Not to mention the
division of time with my kids. My kids have become
my only source of joy and happiness in my life.

(40:18):
Removing them from my life at least fifty percent of
the time would ruin me. The trauma divorce would cause
in my kids lives is lives is substantial, in my opinion,
an unnecessary trauma considering the additional trauma they will likely
experience when my wife's cancer takes her life and that
is the end of that story. Wow, but I think
definitely talking to a therapist about this, Yes, it is

(40:40):
for yourself and possibly a couples therapist.

Speaker 5 (40:42):
Yes, to work out how we move through this.

Speaker 6 (40:45):
I mean, I totally understand the financial burden of divorce,
but also it's like questioning, is your wife and your
like conflict? I mean, op, he said, it's not necessarily constant, right,
but like a lot of conflict is happening in your house?

Speaker 5 (41:00):
Yes?

Speaker 6 (41:00):
Do like I think that potentially could cause more trauma
than a divorce.

Speaker 5 (41:04):
Yeah, honestly exactly.

Speaker 2 (41:06):
I mean I feel like that's pretty common just in
any relationship, even besides like her having cancer too. It's
like sometimes parents who stay together instead of getting divorced
is actually much more harmful than just having divorced.

Speaker 6 (41:18):
Parent because it's like, Okay, now we can be the
best people that are like possible for our kids rather
than constantly you know, eating away at each other, right, because.

Speaker 2 (41:28):
Then they'll have the physical distance too, and so and
that always like calms things down.

Speaker 5 (41:33):
Yes, absolutely, like I think that would totally help.

Speaker 1 (41:36):
I think so, Sam here og host. We're going to
get back to these stories. But here's three minutes fads
from our sponsors.

Speaker 2 (41:41):
First, my fiance keeps using the laundry detergent I'm allergic to,
so I took him out of my will.

Speaker 5 (41:48):
Damn.

Speaker 2 (41:50):
My fiance and I recently bought a house together. We
got basic things from his family as housewarming gets by
the way, it comes from U slash lemindeb on the
our slash okay, story time sepread it. So his grandmother
gifted us a huge package of laundry detrogent. Now Here
is where the problem starts.

Speaker 5 (42:06):
I am and.

Speaker 2 (42:07):
Used to be highly allergic against most laundry detergents. I
am not talking about some uncomfortable itchiness or whatever, but
vomiting diarrhea, losing my eyesight, oh my god, hirely and at.

Speaker 5 (42:19):
The end of my consciousness, Oh my goodness.

Speaker 6 (42:22):
Uh yes, so highly allergic, highly allergic.

Speaker 2 (42:26):
I've been to the hospital for this multiple times already.
We are using two brands I'm not allergic against. He
keeps complaining that they don't smell good, which might be true,
they aren't really fragrant, and I know he used to
drown his clothes and fabric softener to make them smell nice.
So I offered to slowly start trying new laundry detergents
because he keeps complaining and those two aren't easily accessible

(42:47):
in his home country, but definitely not in the foreseeable future,
as I am eight months pregnant and very afraid of
possible consequences.

Speaker 5 (42:53):
We still have more than enough of the safe ones.

Speaker 2 (42:55):
He agreed to slowly start using different laundry detergents, and
I thought the topic was done, but then his brother
gifted us baby clothes. My fiance kept commenting how good
they smelled and how badly he wants our clothes to
smell like this, dude, I can't talk nice. It's nice
when clothes smell nice, but it's also nice to have
a living fianza n is.

Speaker 5 (43:17):
Alive, right, Like, come on, let's weigh these options.

Speaker 2 (43:21):
I sorted through them, and after I was around halfway done,
I noticed that I felt kind of off.

Speaker 5 (43:26):
My hands felt weird, my body felt wrong.

Speaker 2 (43:28):
So I washed every body part that touched those clothes
and refused to touch them without gloves.

Speaker 5 (43:34):
My fiance bought for me, so.

Speaker 2 (43:36):
He definitely knows that I'm still allergic against some detergents. Well,
he still decided to use the gifted laundry detergent on
our towels. I didn't notice until I started folding them
and putting them away.

Speaker 5 (43:47):
I'm confused. Does he just like think that she's faking it? Truly?
What is he doing? I have no idea.

Speaker 2 (43:52):
My hands started to get hot and kind of numb
or itchy. At first, I was kind of afraid that
I am now allergic against one of the safe ones,
until I noticed the gifted one was opened and kind
of shoved into the corner. Our other two are also
opened and readily available, So I just don't get it.
I texted him and asked if he used the gifted
laundry detergent for anything.

Speaker 5 (44:14):
He said, yes, what's the big deal, girl? I think
you know what the big deal is, likely got her
protective gloves for it. Like what.

Speaker 2 (44:23):
I told him that that's not funny and he is
potentially playing with the life of our unborn son and
mine and why he thought that now, of all times
is the right time to test my allergy again he
called me a drama queen and ignored me after so
I changed my will. My fiance gets nothing now, either
my part of the house nor my other assets. Everything

(44:43):
goes to my son with my family as trustees until
he is of age. If something were to happen to
both my son and me, my cousins will be the
sole inheritors. My fiance was originally meant to be the
trustee with different guidelines to make my son's life and
his pretty comfortable. So I trashed the old will, sent
the new version to my lawyer to make him look
over it and plan to get a notary as soon

(45:04):
as possible.

Speaker 5 (45:05):
And there is an update.

Speaker 6 (45:07):
I honestly don't agree with this. I think you'll like
break up with him.

Speaker 2 (45:11):
I'm not opposed to this, but I see it's definitely not.

Speaker 5 (45:14):
Like the solution. Yeah, it's not all right. So now
for update. Hey, it's been a while and I wanted
to give you all an update. It's very long. Honestly,
a lot has happened. I had a rather.

Speaker 2 (45:24):
Uneventful conversation with him after he returned home. He justified
his usage of the laundry detergent with the presence of
cleaning towels in between the normal towels. I asked him
how that matters. Well, apparently it's because I wasn't going
to dry myself with those.

Speaker 5 (45:38):
But I wasn't satisfied with.

Speaker 2 (45:41):
That answer and asked about the normal towels, as there
were only two for cleaning and over ten normal ones,
and how the smell of the cleaning towels is even
relevant because, like he said, there for cleaning. He didn't
answer and started ignoring me. That was answer enough for me,
though I knew it was BS, but I don't know.
I had kind of hoped for a better excuse. Not
going to get a better issus than this guy. Not

(46:02):
really if he thinks that your allergy is like a
lot play around with, Yeah, he's not very smart. Clearly,
I was kind of withdrawn from him at this point
and decided to watch his behavior towards me to figure
out what was going on. I thought that I might
get an answer somehow somewhere, because he was my best
friend and I just didn't want to believe that I
mattered that little to him. The next incident happened soon after.

(46:23):
Though I was carrying back a rather heavy drawer. I
had to deep clean it. Meal worms escaped into the enclosure.
I'm using them as food for my spider. Okay, interesting,
cool A little side note. As the drawer was so heavy,
I struggled a lot, but he was busy working on
some shelf. I asked him if he could help me,
but he didn't react, so I asked him where should
I put the drawer, As he was sitting in front
of the shelf thingy where it belongs.

Speaker 5 (46:44):
He told me to just put it on the floor.
So I did.

Speaker 2 (46:46):
What I didn't see in time, though, was my car trup.
I put the drawer on the vacuum tube. Nothing broke,
and even if it's mine, he wasn't using it at
the moment or anything. It was just laying in the
middle of the room. He lost his crap. He asked
me if I can't even use my one brain cell
and other stuff, implying I'm dumb.

Speaker 6 (47:03):
That hurt the audacity to imply she's dumb. Yeah, when
you're the one like putting her life at risk with
her like bented things right, but.

Speaker 2 (47:15):
Also like you're blocking the way to the correct placement
of this drawer and already pregnant.

Speaker 5 (47:21):
She's eight months pregnant. Baby brain is a real thing.
She might not be able to see where it is.

Speaker 6 (47:26):
Yes, she might have a big belly, yes, and a
big drawer carrying yeah, like in her hands more than
I would like to admit.

Speaker 2 (47:34):
I started silently crying and went to the living room.
He followed me quite some time later, got upset with
me because I was still sad, and said it was
just a joke. I told him I didn't find it
funny and it hurt me. If he could just apologize,
please spoiler. He did not, just said it was a joke,
and we haven't had an argument before, so he didn't
say it out of spite, but in a joking manner.

(47:57):
I wish I could say it stopped there, but I
fell and had mild cramps in a bloody me. Oh no,
I called him on the phone because I don't have
any friends in this country yet and he was the
only one available.

Speaker 5 (48:08):
Plus I knew his boss would let him go as
he's your fiance and the father of your child, right like.

Speaker 2 (48:14):
He's the one to be there, as he is a
very kind man and he was supposed to end his
work day thirty minutes from then. Anyway, that's what he
had told me. At least I called him, but he
didn't pick up. I texted him. He didn't read my messages.
He came home an hour late from work, and he
wasn't at work. He was visiting a friend whom he
gave the laundry detergent to ah.

Speaker 5 (48:36):
Interesting. Interesting.

Speaker 2 (48:37):
He helped me, but even the stranger would have been kinder.
And told me to just lay down as I am
too dumb to walk endangering our son's life. I just
wanted to take a nap and lay down on the
couch as it is way closer than the bedroom.

Speaker 5 (48:50):
He started to vacuum the house. What but I just napping.

Speaker 2 (48:53):
Yeah, I did it yesterday and mopped the floor so
there wasn't a lot. But he spent forty plus minutes
vacuuming right next to me, walking on purpose.

Speaker 5 (49:02):
For sure.

Speaker 2 (49:02):
He was walking in circles, cleaning the same spots over
and over, humbling about how I didn't clean today and
how I'm such a messy person.

Speaker 5 (49:09):
Yes, I do like to leave my shirt occasionally on.

Speaker 2 (49:12):
A chair, but I've cleaned every day since I've been
on maternity leave and before that too.

Speaker 5 (49:17):
Oh, break up, break up, lea please please.

Speaker 2 (49:21):
I would be comfortable with visitors at any given hour.
After he finished vacuuming, he asked me about some mop
parts his grandma his grandmother, put in our house weeks ago,
asking me what am I doing with them?

Speaker 5 (49:32):
I still don't understand what he meant by that.

Speaker 2 (49:34):
I told him that his grandma put them next to
the vacuum cleaner so much too.

Speaker 5 (49:38):
I never clean and can't do anything right. If he
would have ever.

Speaker 2 (49:40):
Decided to vacuum in the last weeks, he would have
noticed them. But he decided to vacuum while I was
doing badly and just.

Speaker 5 (49:46):
Needed a nap. Please, please time in a place. Please
break up with them. This is exhausting, so horrible to you. Yes,
and they're about to have a kid like any day now.

Speaker 2 (49:58):
Y Yeah, that's so sad. He just doesn't like me anymore.
I am heartbroken to say that, but he truly doesn't.
At least our cat and dog have picked up on that.
Our cat keeps his distance from him now and doesn't
want to be pet and bites and scratches him when
he tries to go up with him. My beloved dog
keeps himself between me and him and follows me around
and tries to avoid him.

Speaker 6 (50:18):
Whoa's you know you're doing something wrong with the pets, sir.

Speaker 2 (50:22):
Yeah, While he still wags his tail when he comes home,
it's just not the same, just not the same. I
don't know how to describe it. But I don't recognize
him anymore, and the animals can feel his anger too.
He looks at me with such contempt and is very
mean towards me. I thought he would be my forever,
but he won't be. He is punching our walls.

Speaker 6 (50:40):
Oh my god, get out of there, Out of there,
Get out of there.

Speaker 2 (50:44):
He is hiding his phone. I am still sad and tired.
I don't even have the energy to go through his
phone because even if there would be answers to his behavior,
I just don't care anymore.

Speaker 5 (50:54):
I'm just sad. Get out of there, regardless if he
was shooting or not. Get out of there.

Speaker 2 (50:57):
Yeah, he's punching your walls. Yeah, like that's again just
through safety is just like not guaranteed with this man.

Speaker 5 (51:04):
No, not at all. I gave him the engagement ring back.

Speaker 2 (51:08):
Good. He didn't seem to care. Please please leave, But
you know what, you could always care about joining us
live on YouTube every weekday at three pm PST. Just
tap our profile. My car battery doesn't work at the moment,
so I will have to figure that out. As some
of you guests, I am indeed from Germany, while he
is from a neighboring country. I am seven hours away

(51:29):
from my family and about three hours from the border
by car, so I don't have to fly. Luckily, I'm
sleeping in the guest room on a couch for the
time being. My ex fiance seems very content with that now.
He is just on his phone constantly and leaves me
be for the most part. Thank you for all your input,
kind words and dms. For all the people who claim
this is fake, believe me, I wish it was. Oh

(51:50):
that is so sad. This is really really sad.

Speaker 6 (51:53):
He's like very clearly cheating and he's putting it all
on her and projecting and lashing out at her in
horrible way. Is inside like taking responsibility and be like, hey,
this relationship isn't working.

Speaker 2 (52:04):
No exactly, like oh, I'm just not staying hosted. Like
there's such a healthier way you can go about all that,
Like you don't have to punch.

Speaker 5 (52:11):
Walls, and like, shockingly, you don't have to punch walls.

Speaker 2 (52:15):
Don't have to punch walls, and you don't have to
ignore your wife's deadly allergy because what please don't do that.

Speaker 5 (52:20):
Why would you do that? I don't understand. That's just wow.
But that is the end of that story. It's glad
she's getting out, she's getting out of there. Yeah, yes,
but thank you for joining us. We love you and
see you tomorrow.

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I discovered INTIMATE videos of my husband with other women…he then blamed it on me! - r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit stories

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}I discovered INTIMATE videos of my husband with other women…he then blamed it on me! - r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit stories