I pointed out how much I do for our household…and my wife is STILL ungrateful! - r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP1992 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I pointed out how much I do for our household,
and my wife is still ungrateful.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
Go on strike.

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Yeah, I can't believe I actually have a reason to
post something on Reddit. But here I am my wife
forty one female and I forty two male, have been
married for fifteen years.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
I apparently surprised her by being capable of doing household
chores and tasks.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Which I didn't think much of.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
My mom always asked me to help out with chores
when I was a kid, so I didn't think it
was beneath me.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
R And this guy gets it. He gets it, by
the way.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
This comes from throwaway Sad Husband's eight slash okay story
t I'm superading. I do think I inherited her need
to clean excessively, Like it's so bad that I can't
eat until a mess is dealt with.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
That is my mom, Like she will not sit down
for dinner until she's cleaned up every Oh my gosh,
oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
My mom is an amazing cook. My aunt was a
literal chef at a fancy hotel, and my dad loved
having barbecues. It was pretty natural to learn from them
and pick up a thing or two The only thing
I didn't pick up was how to make a decent
cup of tea or coffee, and I'm genuinely awful at it.
It got to a point where I was handling most
of the household chores and taking care of cooking, which

(01:08):
I prefer anyways, since she comes home exhausted, I've been
asking our children eleven female and nine male, to do
some minor tasks around the house and hopefully teach.

Speaker 2 (01:17):
Them this sort of thing too.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
She has a group of friends who hang out regularly.
This time it was her turn to host the group
at her home. I offered to take our children out
for the day and it was all set Before we left.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
I had to finish up some things for work. The
office space is practically.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
On top of our living room, so I could hear
what they were talking about the entire time.

Speaker 2 (01:36):
One of the.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
Friends asked how she always kept her house so spotless,
and my wife just bragged about how she was responsible
for it all.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
Girl, girl, no, no no, no, no, no no no,
don't try to take Ohk's credit. Come on now. Then
they all started talking about their gripes with their marriages.
A common theme was how unhelpful there's spouse frustrating when
he's like, literally very helpful. Yeah, he's doing so much.

Speaker 1 (01:59):
I felt pretty uncomfortab, so I just left the office
and went out with the kids. I came back after
they had left for the night and acted as normal
until we got to our bedroom. I asked her what
was up with that conversation they had, and pointed out
that I did the cooking and cleaning in our marriage.
She told me not to take it personally, and that
she just wanted to fit in with the struggles of
her friend top. Now I just feel unappreciated, especially since

(02:19):
I don't clearly remember any genuine gratitude for what I
do from her. Since then, she's been pretty short with me,
she says, I'm weaponizing what I'm doing against her and.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
Holding it over her head.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
I don't expect her to compliment me each time I
clean or defend me religiously just a little.

Speaker 2 (02:34):
My husband is pretty helpful, Actually he does his share.
That would be nice.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
I can't help but feel like her friends think I'm
some sort of deadbeat who comes home to relax and
neglect her. All right, Update number one, I'm pretty shocked
this post went as viral as it did, and I
tried my best to speak to my wife yesterday. I
just can't believe that this is the woman I married.
I tried speaking with her, telling her that what she
did wasn't that big of a deal, but was still
not a nice.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
Thing to do.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
She didn't like me bringing it up again and just
told me to suck it up and stop being about
one mistake. She apologized, but in a tone that just
sounded like she was just tired of dealing.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
Okay, Vine, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:11):
I noticed her getting very heated and on the verge
of starting an argument, so I backed off and switched
to a different topic. I asked if we could adjust
our duties at home to be more fair for both
of us since most of our management fell to me.
I mean pretty much ninety percent of things like cooking, cleaning,
including planning for our date nights, or vacations for our
family all rely on me. I do think it's an

(03:33):
issue that she gets to come home and just tell
me that she's tired. Then she got up in my face,
telling me I had no right to lecture her about
chore duties when I'm practically at home most of the time,
she completely refused to hear me out and basically told
me that what we have works best for our situation.
She threw it in my face that she was the
moneymaker and that balanced everything out in the end. Even

(03:55):
this morning, she was pretty annoyed with me, coming downstairs
in a bad mood. I'm very sure our kids noticed
it too, but I drove them to school after they
got ready. When I got back, I noticed that my
wife left her packed.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
Lunch on our kitchen counter.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
So now I'm sitting here just feeling like the woman
I've known for fifteen years hates me.

Speaker 2 (04:11):
Wow, so messed up, just asking for some appreciation. Yeah,
and his wife is like, no.

Speaker 1 (04:18):
Right, I guess I'll have to push this issue properly,
even if she gets angry. She's been ignoring my text
and attempts to call her. I can't just let her
act like this, especially in front of our children.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
She's acting like a child. She won't she won't talk
to you about it.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
Yeah, and this is not going to set a good
example for what the children should be like.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
Now we have update number two. Are we ready for Ready?
I'm diving ready.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
I think I'm just done at this point, I did
something I never did before and went into her phone
while she slept.

Speaker 2 (04:49):
Oh no, we.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
Know we both know each other's passwords, so it really
wasn't difficult. Some of the cheating comments got to me,
and I felt pretty paranoid about the situation.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
So I'm assuming people commented.

Speaker 1 (05:04):
Yeah, but that's always what ready goes to though it's
always cheap.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
It's a classic creddit that. Don't listen to them. Don't listen,
don't don't violate privacy before talking to your partner.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
Right, Instead, I found a group chat with some of
her work friends, different from the other friends she had
over It was just non stop mockery of me and
some of the stuff I did for her.

Speaker 2 (05:24):
And so understand this, like desire to mock your partner, yeah,
or to belittle them in front of other people? Like what,
why would you want your friends and coworkers to think
badly or poorly of your partner? Right? I don't know.
Maybe I just need a lot of validation from other
people I would want to talk to about. I mean,

(05:44):
I don't like I could see blowing off steam or something.
There's a really close friend. I think there's a difference
between saying like, Hey, I'm frustrated with this and I
don't know how to talk to them about it, right,
and asking for advice, right, But to be like, oh, yeah,
my'd buben is just so stupid and he's not doing
anything around the house, yeah, which is just a lie.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
She told them how embarrassed she feels to be with me,
and then I dote on.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
Her like a parent and don't feel like her husband.
Oh who, that might be a serious issue. I think
that's like divorce really, maybe counseling because they have kids.
But like, right to say that is just such a betrayal.

Speaker 1 (06:19):
Part of me really wants to play devil's advocate because like, okay,
read as stories, we.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
Don't know everything. We don't know everything that's true. You
don't know everything that's going on.

Speaker 1 (06:27):
So I do kind of wonder what her side is, Yeah,
what her side looks like, because if if she feels
like he's acting like a parent, doesn't feel like her husband,
that is an issue, and that it's something that.

Speaker 2 (06:39):
They actually need to brought up to her husband exactly,
her coworkers exactly.

Speaker 1 (06:43):
Yeah, she should deal with it in a different way,
if that is accurate. If that's true, the lunches I
pack for her are humiliating because I add sweets and
other treats.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
I know she likes. That's so sad. What he's just
being all sweets. Don't be embarrassed by like a lunch
that you have. Come on, it's food. Yeah, Like if
you're worried to give me a capri son for lunch today,
I'd be like, I would think that's amazing. I'd be
like this is great. Yeah, and like, I don't know,
someone gave me a little fruit roll up. I'd be
like sick freaking winning over here, win gushers. A person

(07:15):
allows me.

Speaker 1 (07:15):
Some of her coworkers tease her about the snacks I
have in for her, and she admitted to just throwing
them out at work.

Speaker 2 (07:21):
No, the co workers are bad. Your coworkers suck, and
you suck. She's being around bad people. I hate them.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
She doesn't have any issue eating them at home, but
at work she throws out my baking.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
You're baking baking.

Speaker 1 (07:34):
This is sad because, Okay, I don't know if I'm
just playing Devil's advocate too much. I feel like she's
definitely not going about the situation right. Yeah, definitely shouldn't
be spreading lies and stuff. I think she's just so
focused on other people's opinions of her. Yes, yes, And
I think this is a bad group of coworkers to
be around.

Speaker 2 (07:50):
And her friends are bad.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
Yes, and I think she's just got bad people around her.
That's not the entire source of the situation, but I
do think it affects it well.

Speaker 2 (08:00):
I think it is an explanation, but it's not an excuse,
right right.

Speaker 1 (08:03):
She had some choice words to say about me in
her chat, some of which I don't have the courage
to type out here. One of her meme pictures was
of me on my knees scrubbing a bathroom tile, edited
to have some sort of dress on, like I was
some sort of housewife from the nineteen sixties or something.

Speaker 2 (08:17):
Dude, that is insane. Check your internalized misogyny, girl, Yeah,
that's insane. I no longer want to play Devil's out of.

Speaker 3 (08:26):
That.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
She saw it. That's really that's weird. We imagine again,
belittling your husband, mocking him for helping clean the house. Right,
You're literally like you were complaining about him not doing anything,
and now you're showing him doing something and then making
it out to be like, Oh, he's just he's a woman, right,
It's like, why are you complaining about the roles the
like that? You don't even make these generals being reversed

(08:48):
if to them.

Speaker 1 (08:50):
Yeah, Like, it's just so backwards in so many ways.
I just closed her phone and left the bedroom. I
confronted her about the chat in the morning and the
contents of it, which got her panic. I focused on
our kids this morning and left her to her own devices.
It's not like she would have appreciated a kid's lunch anyways.
But we will always appreciate you joining us live and
YouTube every weekday at three PMPs. Do you just top

(09:13):
her profile? I'll never throw you away, never, never. There's
a little bit more.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
Do we have any final thoughts? Well? I think first
she need to have a hard conversation with her say
like that was completely inappropriate. I know I shouldn't have
looked at your phone. That's up to that. Yes, I
know I shouldn't have done that, but that you should
not be talking about me like that in front of
your coworkers. Yeah, and I think either we need to
go to some strong counseling or this relationship is over.

Speaker 3 (09:37):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (09:38):
Sounds about right.

Speaker 1 (09:38):
So now she's texting me like crazy at the office.
But I think I lost all respect for her and
what she's become. Not only does she find me overbearing
and embarrassing as a husband, but then I find out
she mocks me to her friends and exposes some sensitive
relationship issues to.

Speaker 2 (09:52):
Her group chat.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
This will probably be the last update, since I don't
think she can come back from this. We just celebrated
our fifteenth anniversary last this month.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
Two all so sad.

Speaker 1 (10:03):
I feel like such a loser now after seeing what
my wife actually thinks of me.

Speaker 2 (10:07):
And that's the end of the story. What a sad
note to leave all sad? Okay, well again, I have
the same advice. Yeah right now, it's either you have
that conversation you might have to end this relationship.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
Yeah, this seems like your only options mm hm CAD's
counseling or an ending.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
But that's also the end of this story, so we'll
see you next time. My husband is furious that I
don't wear lingerie enough. Now he's accusing me of cheating.
What a husband and I got into an argument last
night because we haven't been intimate in almost a month.
This is because a couple of months ago he was
in a self admitted manic state and took out multiple
loans to gamble and lost all the money. We're talking

(10:47):
upwards of sixty five thousand loans from multiple banks. He
also lost his job a month ago. By the way,
this comes from Throwaway twenty twenty six, nineteen sixty two
on the Okay storytime Separate. So we're in a terrible
financial situation. So I've been working at my job harder
than ever to make more money and help him pay
off his debt. I work extra days and stay at

(11:07):
work for up to twelve hours a day. I even
volunteer to work at other locations for extra opportunities to
make money. Some of these are over an hour away.
Last night, I came home from work after working ten hours,
and I was physically exhausted and emotionally spent because we
almost had an active shooter situation at my workplace and
it stressed me out. That's scary. He tried to initiate

(11:27):
spicy sleep, and I was not in the mood because
I have been home for less than ten minutes. H dude,
give her a second, Give her a second. She just
had a light yeah, opportunity, and he currently doesn't have
a job, so he was able to relax all day
waiting for me. Was she not like worried about her?
I'm sorry, he doesn't have a job and you're working
way more to pay off his debts.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
Yeah, that's crazy because he has lots of debts. That
was a lot of money.

Speaker 2 (11:53):
He stood up and took my lingerie from one of
my clothing racks and threw them at my head, screaming,
who are you wearing this for? Because it's it's not me.
He's throwing stuff at you. He's throwing things and it's lingerie.
I couldn't even fathom entertaining that thought, so I tried
to cool it down, but he kept going. Eventually, I
just left the house and took a drive for two hours.
By the time I came home, he had fallen asleep.

(12:15):
This morning, I went to work and noticed on our
cameras that he had gone to sleep in the basement
in the middle of the night and never came up.
By three pm. I was extremely worried that something was wrong,
and he suffers from on a living ideation, so I
told my boss that I was leaving work early to
check on him. When I came home, he was sleeping
in the basement, so I woke him up and he
asked me to bring him ibuprofen for a headache and

(12:37):
to go pick up breakfast for him. So I drove
out to get him a Red Bull breakfast sandwich and
a milkshake, came home and gave it to him. That's
when he reinitiated the fight from last night and demanded
to know where the lingerie was. Oh my gosh, the
night before, when I got home from my drive, I
was afraid that he was going to destroy the lingerie,
which I had spent my own money on, so I

(12:57):
hid it in a safe place. I wouldn't tell him
where the lingerree was, and he started screaming at me again.
I decided to leave the house again, this is unacceptable behavior.
Not five minutes later, this was the text that I received.
I don't even know what to say. I'm heartbroken and
all I want to do is cry in the parking
lot that I'm currently sitting in. I feel completely unappreciated
for working extra shifts to help and pay off his debts,

(13:18):
taking care of him, even after he accuses me of
cheating on him. And checking on him when I think
something is wrong. Honestly, that one message left me completely speechless.
I don't recognize this person. I have no idea who
he is. I feel degraded and humiliated with the way
that he spoke to me. How do I respond to
his accusations? And what am I supposed to do about

(13:39):
the way he spoke to me in those text messages.
I know he's going through a lot, but the way
he's been talking to me has put my self esteem
straight through the ground. How do I navigate this and
how do I try to move on from what happened
over the past twenty four hours? Edit? Some commenters are
under the impression that I had hidden the lingerie when
I bought them, and that he'd found them and confronted me.

(13:59):
A large walking closet and a rack dedicated to my lingerie.
They're in plain view and he has access to them
all the time for when he wants me to wear them.
He knows about all of them because he helps me
pick them out. The particular pair he was mad about
was a purple Valentine's Day set from VS, which I
bought via their online vssay. I didn't wear them on
Valentine's Day. I got my period five days early, so

(14:21):
I put them with the rest of my stuff and
never ended up wearing them at all. Since Valentine's Day
was a month ago, I presented him with a post
nuptial agreement that states if we divorce, any debt will
remain the responsibility of the person who took them out. Thankfully,
we have no joint loans of any kind together. I
have my credit report run just to make sure no
sneaky loans or credit cards behind my back in my name.

(14:43):
Aside from my eighteen k left in student loans, Collectively,
my credit cards are under eight percent utilization and that's
all I've got. I would take ownership of our cats too.
He would continue to pay off his fifty five K loans,
his forty K student loans, and his twenty two k in.

Speaker 3 (14:58):
Credit card debt.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
He was stunned when I gave him the post nup. Ultimately,
he did agree that we looked very hurt re signing
the papers on Tuesday. Yeah, I think that's very fair.
Just get him get it out of very fair. I've
also scheduled marriage counseling appointments once a week. He said,
he was devastated that it got to this point, but
he agreed to doing this as well. This marriage counselor
also specializes in addiction, and I suggested he scheduled private

(15:20):
appointments with her to work on that. We'll see how
it goes. And there is another updates. But I think
this is headed in the right direction. I think so
the direction that it needs to go.

Speaker 1 (15:29):
Yeah, and does he have an addiction or something? It
kind of seems like he does. I don't think we
heard of what it is from that last sentence. Yeah,
it seems like that might also be an issue.

Speaker 2 (15:39):
Yeah, another issue, Yeah, hard, which also might have led
into some kind of that reaction that he had. Yeah,
could be you know something. There's another update. Let's get
into it. Hi, this is a follow up that I
feel like is long overdue in this group. I feel
like I owe it to everyone that gave me advice
in my original post. It's been a long and hard
road ever since, but hopefully this reaches the people that
reached out to me and gave me some hard advice

(16:01):
that I really needed to hear. In the months following
my last post, I have since left my husband and
filed for divorce. Nice, there we go. After a few
other incidents, with one involving a firearm, I started applying
for jobs around the country, and by some miracle that
I cannot comprehend, I landed an incredibly well paying job
that is almost four times my previous salary. I don't

(16:23):
know how I managed to do it, aside from just
funneling all my energy into one singular task that it
would allow me to leave. Once I got the job,
I let my ex husband know that I was going
to be leaving without him. It was really nerve racking
telling him that I was leaving without him five days
before I moved. But I had a really, really good
support system and a friend group along with family members

(16:43):
that made sure I was safe during this transition. Even
though I told him I was going to file for divorce,
for the first month of me being gone, he did
everything in his power to convince me to stay, including
threatening me on numerous occasions and telling me that if
I chose to go through with a divorce, he would
make it so financially just instructive to me that I
might choose to stay with him. After all, you suckdeed.
That's I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (17:04):
Trying to convince me to say yeah, threatening me, but
not not the best, not at all the best tactics. Ultimately,
it turns out that the law was very much on
my side, and while I did pay for all the
divorce fees because he's unemployed, I don't know him absolutely anything,
and the divorce itself was actually quite cut and dry.
I have an incredible job, I live in a highly

(17:26):
secure area. I moved far away and made new friends
and have been so incredibly lucky to have an awesome
work environment as well. I have my own townhouse. And
I also took all our pets with me, as I
didn't believe that he's capable.

Speaker 2 (17:37):
Of taking care of them. Yeah, he can't even take
care of himself, right. It is in the divorce agreement
that I will be keeping them for the rest of
our lives. Thanks goodness you put that in there. I
donated just about everything I owned and came to a
new place with only my pets and clothes in a
suitcase and started completely over. I can't tell anyone reading
this just how liberating and peaceful this journey has been.

(17:57):
I love that. I'm very happy for you. Our house
has since been sold and he has moved across the
country to live with his mom and dad as he
figures out his unemployment situation. He still sends me threats
followed by love bombing, although by this point they are
happening less and less and less each week. I cut
off any personal communication with him about a month ago,
and now I only speak to him through our lawyers,

(18:18):
which is pretty easy. I'm not gonna lie. Even though
that was the hardest thing I've ever done logistically, emotionally,
leaving was the best and easiest experience I've ever had. Great.
I think at the time I made my last post,
I was in incredible denial and not thinking that I
was good enough as a wife, and not doing everything
I could and my power to try to fix it.
I have since come to realize that I did, in

(18:39):
fact do absolutely everything that I could control in order
to try to save our marriage. I made us go
to marriage counseling. I gave him mental health resources. I
reached out to his parents, and they agreed to send
him to a rehab he ultimately refused. I applied for
endless jobs for him. I would stay late at work
just to make enough money for us. I would come
home in the middle of the night, and still I'll

(19:00):
make him dinner. I still kept the house as tidy
as I could with the little amount of free time
that I had. I was there for him emotionally when
he would have breakdowns. I would ask his friends to
please check in on him when he was feeling low.
I made doctor's appointments for him that he ultimately didn't
show up to. I saw out financial advisors to help
us figure out how to pay off his debts. I
put him in contact with a head on her I

(19:21):
gave him every single time he had an outburst and
degraded me. I spent months doing research on addiction just
so I could understand him better. I read books on
how to improve relationships that are trauma bonded. I did
everything I possibly could. It sounds like you did everything. Yeah,
you're doing great. At the end of the day, no
matter how much I loved him or wanted to make
the marriage work, because I believed it was my responsibility

(19:43):
to fix everything, I had to step outside of myself
and realize that if this was happening to anyone else
that I loved, I would not tolerate it. I had
to decide to love myself just as much as I
love the other people around me, and that is the
only thing that led me to leave. That is such
a great point. Yeah, wow, have you ever noticed, you know,
if you're a being mistreated, just think like, would I
be upset if my friend was being treated this way

(20:04):
or my loved one? You know. Sure, it's a great,
great rule to live by. I'm safe, I'm probably the
happiest I've been in my entire life. I'm independent, I'm confident,
I'm learning who I am again. I'm proud my divorce
will be final in just a few short weeks, and
I'm excited to truly be my own person again. Anyway,
I hope that this update is sufficient, and I appreciate
everyone that reached out to me all those months ago.

(20:27):
And that is the end of that story. I love
that ending. I love that. Oh he's like, you know what,
I really found myself and I don't need him, And
that's like beautiful. Yeah, it sounds like putting in so
much work. Yeah, and you don't need him, You don't
need him need you. Yeah, he did pay his debt, Yeah,
one hundred and seventeen K debt. So much, so much,
so much, which debt. Maybe it was a gambling addiction.

(20:49):
That's also possible, but that is the end of that story,
so we'll see you next time.

Speaker 1 (20:54):
I told my partner he needs to find a better
job for our family.

Speaker 2 (20:57):
He still hasn't and it's been five got to find
a better husband.

Speaker 1 (21:02):
My partner and I started dating in college and got
married after he graduated years later. I've always been the
driven one in the relationship and pushed him to take
school seriously and graduate. I came from a lower middle
class family and had a job since I was legally
able to work. I have always paid my cell phone,
bought my car, paid for my college by working full
time through school and taking classes when I could, or

(21:23):
taking out student loans to help. I can't remember a
time when I ever asked my parents for money, because
I knew they didn't have it.

Speaker 2 (21:29):
My parents fought about money a lot.

Speaker 1 (21:31):
By the way, this comes from Grow with Me twenty
two on the r slash.

Speaker 2 (21:35):
Okay story Time Sepreddit.

Speaker 1 (21:36):
Even in grade school, if I wanted to go to
the movies or shopping for school clothes, I worked and
paid for those. My partner grew up in a big
house and never really had to want for things, especially
after his dad remarried. He married into a family with
a lot of money, like one percent kind of money.
My partner went on insane trips, had a credit card
through school and everything paid for until he failed school

(21:59):
and his dad.

Speaker 2 (22:00):
Kind of cut him off.

Speaker 1 (22:03):
Yeah that's crazy having a credit card that someone else
pays for. Yeah, that's whoa. That's when I had to
step in and push him to finish. He would have
stayed out of school and worked at a restaurant had
I not pushed him to finish.

Speaker 2 (22:14):
Fast forward to us getting married.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
We were living in a family member's rent house and
I didn't understand why we weren't focusing on buying home.
We started trying for a baby, and when we got pregnant,
I talked to him about how important it was to
have a place that was ours when we brought our
baby home. He would listen and agree, but never really
took any actionable steps towards saving or anything.

Speaker 2 (22:34):
That's the thing. I think he has just a totally
different take on money, Yeah, and to different relationship to it. Yeah,
because I've talked rich people before and I'm like, you
don't know how to deal with money. Right, it's just
kind of always there for me. Yeah, they're just like
you don't have to worry about it, but sometimes you do,
know as you got it.

Speaker 1 (22:53):
It wasn't until I practically had a melt down and
found the house to look at and gave him an
ultimatum that we bought our first house. His job at
the time had him gone for weeks at a time,
which wasn't ideal with the new baby, so I started
talking to him about what his plans were so that
he could be home with us and work. He quit
his job and started working for a close family member
who ran a devil's lettuce grow making next to nothing,

(23:15):
and kept telling me that it was going to go somewhere,
that his boss had him on the path to make
six figures and that he would make commission on broker sales,
et cetera. Needless to say, this never happened. He was
able to get our kids on insurance paid for by
the company, and since our cars were used for work,
he was able to have the car payment paid for
by the company. I was working in a very competitive

(23:37):
industry which had me gone a lot, so our child
went to daycare around three months old. I hated my job,
but I was the breadwinner, and I felt like I
was trapped, even though it was a super toxic.

Speaker 2 (23:48):
Environment and not good for my mental health.

Speaker 1 (23:50):
I spoke with my partner regularly about this, and he
promised that he was looking for jobs related to his degree,
which would have paid much more, but he could never
find anything. This went on for years. He is still
looking for a job. Five years later, during the pandemic,
I was able to secure a work from home job,
making more money than I was before, and it's such

(24:11):
a better environment.

Speaker 2 (24:12):
But this is where the house of cards start to fall.

Speaker 1 (24:15):
About a year ago, my partner comes home panicked because
the grow lost their license to grow the plants.

Speaker 2 (24:21):
Oh that's important.

Speaker 1 (24:22):
They lost it because he missed the deadline for renewal.
It's dude, he had to let everyone go. The business
was not bringing in revenue and actually lost thousands of
dollars because they had to destroy everything currently in the
grow since legally they weren't supposed to have it.

Speaker 2 (24:38):
Oh wow, sucks, wow, just smoke it all. There you go. Problems.
I don't like. We have to get rid of it.

Speaker 1 (24:46):
When I was talking to him about it, I asked
him to really focus on getting a different job, because
he said something along the lines of I wasn't really
trying before, like I told you, Yeah, Like this time
i'll actually do it because before.

Speaker 2 (24:56):
I wasn't doing anything. I actually was like twenty percent
this I'm fully right. Even though I told you I
was looking for a job, it wasn't. So this time
it'll be different. Actually don't work for years.

Speaker 1 (25:06):
I came home crying, stressed out and upset because I
was so miserable at my job, and he was lying
to me about trying to find a job so that
I could get out of my current position. I cried
to him about not getting to see my baby because
they were asleep when I left early in the morning
and asleep when I got home late at night. And
he was lying to me about trying to find a
job so that he could help with the burden of

(25:27):
financial security.

Speaker 2 (25:28):
That's so upsetting. I don't like this guy for years
years year. She brought it up years ago. That's insane.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
It's been a year and he still has not found
a job. Oh, so he's actually looking now.

Speaker 2 (25:40):
And he's actually looked later. It's not doing His active
looking is bad. It's so bad.

Speaker 1 (25:45):
He spent eight months leaving in the morning and going
to his family member's house to help with odd end
jobs and acted like he was still working, only to
find out two months ago that he was not getting
a paycheck anymore.

Speaker 2 (25:56):
That's insane.

Speaker 1 (25:57):
You have a child, You have a child's a fam
need to contribute to. I asked him to help me
come up with a budget, take finance classes because he.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
Has no idea how to manage finances.

Speaker 1 (26:07):
I have investment accounts set up for our kids, a
four to oh one K, and short term investment accounts
for us. I have a small emergency fund. He doesn't
even have a savings account. This past year has been
super challenging for me mentally, and I've gotten on antidepressants
to help manage the anxiety and depression. I felt this
is such a long story, shorten it a bit. We

(26:28):
had to open a new bank account because my partner's
paycheck was coming from a business that is not federally legal.
Our bank account sent us a letter with a cashier's
check with our entire bank account asking us to not
try and open an account with them again. You have
rejected by a bank, he said, here is your money back.

Speaker 2 (26:45):
We don't want to thank you.

Speaker 1 (26:47):
My partner went and opened an account that approves, but
because I was working, he set the account up and
I was not initially at it. I asked him to
please just help manage our finances since I was handling
everything up. I found out a few weeks ago that
he was no longer getting a paycheck, that he let
our homeowners insurance renew without looking at the new feet,
that he started secretly charging their health insurance to his

(27:11):
credit card and.

Speaker 2 (27:12):
Making our car payment. But you know what's never a
secret is us going live on.

Speaker 1 (27:16):
YouTube every weekday at three pm PSD.

Speaker 2 (27:19):
If you want to join it, just tap our profile,
tap it or tap it any final final class four.
Leave him, leave him. He's adding literally nothing, and you've
you've been dealing with this for five years.

Speaker 1 (27:32):
He's actually taking away, he's taking, He's taking and taking.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
Yeah, I'm sick of that seed.

Speaker 1 (27:38):
I have been busting my butt and making the most
money I've ever made in my life, and we are
living paycheck to paycheck because he lied to me about
an additional two thousand dollars a month that we were spending,
and leaving out the fact that he was no longer
getting paid. Not only that, every single thing he does
he has to ask me about, like he has no

(27:59):
intuition or initiative to do things on his own. I
don't know how to move forward. I can't trust him
if he's not lying, he's being vague and leaving stuff out.
I just feel resentful and like I'm drowning, like I'm
just watching all of my goals sink under the weight
of his decisions. I am burnt out and lonely, like
I'm doing this all alone and he's just an extra

(28:19):
child that I have to plan for.

Speaker 2 (28:21):
And that's the end. That's so sorry. Yeah, you need
to leave him? Yeah, yeah, I mean at least I
think that is the best plan, best way forward, because
he's just he's not contributing. You're stressed out because you
have to explain everything to him. Yes, and he's just
like another child that is also just actively taking all

(28:42):
of your money. Right, you have to do and pay
for everything. Yeah, you have to fix all his mistakes.

Speaker 1 (28:47):
Yes, And it's just like, yeah, I feel like you
just say, like you know, either step it up or
I'm out here. Yeah, I feel like this can't decisionly
against ultimatoms.

Speaker 2 (28:57):
But this feels like a person. Yeah, it's like you
read time. This is not working anymore. I feel like
I am alone in this partnership.

Speaker 1 (29:05):
Yes, and I can't financially pay for us because I'm
living paycheck.

Speaker 2 (29:09):
Don't want to live like that anymore.

Speaker 1 (29:10):
We have a child, so peace out, deal with it
on your own. I'll see you when I drop off
the kids.

Speaker 2 (29:19):
There you go. Yeah, but that is the end of
that story. That's the end, and that's the end of
the episode. So if you love us, make sure to
subscribe We love you and see it tomorrow. My sister
tried to steal my wedding dress, so I destroyed her
bridesmade dress and for an eye and a dress for

(29:39):
a dress. I twenty three female, and my sister twenty
five female, are both due to be married soon, or
at least I am foreshadowing. My sister's boyfriend of three
years told my parents he plans to propose to her soon,
and my sister Jane has been picking up on hints
that he is and been wanting to be included in

(30:01):
marriage conversation and is already planning her wedding, so she
hasn't even been proposed to but she's like, well, I
might as well get ahead. By the way, this comes
from no Tank five three to two on the Okay
storytime subreddit. So my fiance proposed to me six months ago.
I'm absolutely elated and cannot wait to marry this man.
Wedding planning has gone smoothly so far, with Jane being

(30:24):
a little bit nosy. But I just assume. But I
just assumed she was so excited, so I brushed it off.
For some context, my sister Jane has always had some
jealousy issues and held some resentment towards me for being
the favorite, spoiled youngest child.

Speaker 3 (30:40):
Growing up.

Speaker 2 (30:41):
She was put under a lot of pressure by her
parents to be perfect. Well, I could be more carefree
and seem to get what I want. I understand where
she's coming from. But because of this she can't. She
can treat me badly sometimes. I was a bit cautious
at first. I was afraid Jane was going to throw
a fit or something about me being engaged before her,
but she didn't. I dismissed her nosiness as excitement. I mean,

(31:05):
with her boyfriend dropping so many hints to her, who
wouldn't be a bit nosy about someone else's wedding. I
also included her in my bridal party. I made her
one of my bridesmaids, so she was over the moon
about that, and I thought her sibling relationship was improving.
I was wrong, though, no alas no. I decided to

(31:26):
go wedding dress shopping with my mom and my sister
a little over two weeks ago. This was super exciting
for me. I've been picturing the perfect wedding dress for
myself for the longest time. Now. Shopping was amazing. I
thought like a princess the entire time, and both my
mom and Jane seemed genuinely supportive the entire time. Well,

(31:47):
after many hours of shopping, I found the perfect dress.
It made me feel absolutely beautiful, and honestly, it's everything
I wanted. It was one hundred percent yes the first
time I tried it on, and honestly fit perfectly in
my budget. I noticed Jane was just as in love
with the dresses I was. She showered me with dozens

(32:08):
of compliments and almost seemed too happy I was buying it.
I shrugged it off, though, I was just happy to
be supported by my sister. I don't think Jane's behavior
was strange until the night after when she talked to
or she asked to talk with me. She said she
had talked with her boyfriend and after doing some thinking,
she said that she wanted to re wear my wedding

(32:29):
dress for her wedding. She said it would be more
efficient and good for her budget since we're the same
size and my wedding dress ticked all of her boxes.
I was shocked at this. Maybe I'm selfish or greedy,
but the whole point of my wedding dress and experience
is it's my wedding dress uniquely for me.

Speaker 3 (32:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:48):
I get that people will have the same wedding dress,
but I don't want, of all people, my sister to
wear the same wedding dress as me. It honestly felt
like she was trying to steal the spotlight from me
in some way. I told her that she could get
a wedding dress in a similar style to mine if
she wanted, or even buy the same dress. I wouldn't
like this, but whatever, but I wasn't going to let

(33:08):
her re wear my wedding dress because it's mine and
it represents my experience. And honestly, I told her if
it felt like she was trying to steal my spotlight again.
She got very upset at this. She said that since
we're sisters, we should be sharing stuff like this, and
she said she thought her relationship was improving. I accused
her of faking her tears and just trying to steal

(33:31):
the spotlight from me again. I said some mean things
I regret, and called her cheap for not just getting
her own wedding dress, and I told her she can't
plan for a wedding she's not even sure is happening yet.
She repeated some of the stuff she said before and
cried a little bit more of crocodile tears. But after
I didn't breack down, she basically was like, okay, if
that's what you want, and I assumed our fight was over.

(33:54):
She was a little bit cold to me for the
next few days, but sometimes she can be like that,
so I paid no mind to it. Well, I was
wrong about the fight being over. About one week ago,
I looked in the storage room at my mom's house
where my dress was being kept, and it was gone. Obviously,
this made me completely flip my crap. I looked everywhere

(34:16):
in the house top to bottom and I couldn't find it.
My mom and my sister were the only ones who
knew where the dress was being kept, so I went
to question them. Both both of them said they had
no idea where it was. I grilled my sister a
bit harder, since she has a tendency to lie about
stuff like this sometimes, but she genuinely seemed like she
didn't know where it was. I was about to have

(34:37):
a panic attack over this. I looked for three hours
by myself. My mom and my fiance were at work,
and my sister was out with her boyfriend. I thought,
I looked everywhere until I took a break to eat lunch.
The trash was full, so I took it out and
lo and behold, what's in the dumpster? My wedding dress?

(35:00):
Maybe maybe dang so that Yeah, no, your sister's fullying
the wrong. Yeah, fully in the wrong.

Speaker 3 (35:06):
True, But maybe your sister wouldn't have slam dunk your
wedding dress into the dumpster if you weren't slam dunking
on her about not being engaged.

Speaker 2 (35:16):
But I feel like that before it was like yay,
like we don't have to go that low, But now
she went like she dug six feet under she did.

Speaker 3 (35:25):
And now I gotta say that I understand. Maybe why
you're slam dunking on your saving makes sense.

Speaker 2 (35:32):
Why we have this kind of tumultuous relationship.

Speaker 3 (35:37):
That's crazy. You guys might both be a fault.

Speaker 2 (35:39):
Here in a trash gunk on it, but nothing that
couldn't be washed out. So thankfully it was okay. I
am so glad it turned out okay. But I was pissed.
Who would put my perfect dream dress in the dumpster
with all the trash? Deep down I knew it, but
I didn't want to believe my sister would do that
to me. Well, surprisingly, the moment I called my sister,

(36:03):
she confessed she didn't seem to regret it either. She
just said if she couldn't wear my dress, I didn't
deserve to wear it either. Wow. And she said if
she could do it again, she would. Jane told me
the dress is completely fine, so I can't be that mad,
And she said that I'm used to getting what I
want all the time, so she was just trying to
put me in my place. She said she didn't actually

(36:24):
intend to throw away the dress, but she did throw
away the dress.

Speaker 3 (36:28):
She's like, I didn't look I didn't. She's just freestyling,
all right, and it kind of the moment got it happened.
I put your dress in the dump. It's called improvisation.
It can't even be mad because you got.

Speaker 2 (36:39):
It back and was going to take it out of
the garbage if I didn't find it. I don't believe her.
I do regret my actions after this. I will admit
I mostly acted out of rage, and I can be
an impulsive person when I'm angry. Right after I hung
up the phone with my sister, I grabbed a pair
of kitchen scissors, ran up to her room where she

(36:59):
was keeping her bridesmaid's dress that she spent five hundred
dollars on, and took scissors to it. I ripped it
with my hands too. I absolutely destroyed her dress until
it didn't look like a dress anymore. I went back
to my apartment after this and have not spoken to
my sister since. My mom is pissed at me. I've

(37:19):
been pissed at you too. She's pissed at my sister too,
but she thinks I should have handled the situation more maturely,
because two wrongs don't make a right. She thinks I
should have had a proper talk with my sister about
boundaries instead of jumping straight to ruining her bridesmaid dress
that she loved so much and spent a lot of
money on. My fiance is mostly on my side, but
thinks it was silly of me to destroy a bride'smaid

(37:40):
dress that's supposed to be for my own wedding. By
the way, you can join us live every weekday on YouTube, Facebook,
and TikTok. Just top her profile just three pmpst.

Speaker 3 (37:52):
We could be live right now.

Speaker 2 (37:54):
Both my sister and her boyfriend are pissed at me,
and my sister spanned my phone with texts disinvited me
for of her future wedding. So I guess I lost
one of my bridesmaids and maybe more because my sister
is spreading rumors that I'm psycho to the rest of
the bridal party. Okay, are there rumors? Yeah, they're true.

Speaker 3 (38:11):
I mean going straight to you've recovered your wedding dress
from it's fine, it's relatively okay. Yeah, then you go
destroyed beyond any hope of repair. Yeah, your sister's dood.

Speaker 2 (38:24):
You can't do anything about it.

Speaker 3 (38:25):
You've now escalated the fight.

Speaker 2 (38:27):
Yeah, they don't even know my side because I didn't
even let them know about the situation because I was embarrassed.
I do regret my actions, but I'm very upset with
my sister and think I'm a bit justified in what
I did. You mess with my dress and I'll mess
with yours? Am I the a hole? You're all the
a hole. You guys both kind of suck. Yeah, you

(38:48):
guys suck. The problem here isn't even this fight.

Speaker 3 (38:52):
This fight is happening from a what I'm going to
assume is a culmination of things that have happened.

Speaker 2 (38:57):
Over over their whole childhood lifetime. I think they both
think that they're the golden child.

Speaker 3 (39:02):
Yeah. Well, clearly there's a dynamic between the two of
them where they're like flying for attention, right, They're trying
to constantly, they're trying to get up, like get one
up on each other.

Speaker 2 (39:11):
Yeah. Instead of just.

Speaker 3 (39:12):
Being like we're sisters, love each other, they're like, you're
my sister, Get you loser.

Speaker 2 (39:19):
Sisters by chance, enemies by choice, that's what's going on here.

Speaker 3 (39:24):
There you go. Yeah, they put that one on the quotables.
Sisters by chance, enemies by choice. You watch them take
turns just dunking on each.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
Other, dunking straight dunking.

Speaker 3 (39:40):
My sister wants to reconcile with her cheater X. I'm
fed up with both of them at this point.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
Yeah, I'd be pretty pissed.

Speaker 3 (39:49):
How are you gonna get back with the Cheetowski Man?

Speaker 2 (39:52):
Hi?

Speaker 3 (39:52):
Everyone, this is the first time I've ever posted on Reddit,
but I've been a listener of the show for years.
I need advice on what to do with my little
s twenty three female. My sister Kelsey recently went through
a divorce from her husband of almost two years. None
of the family liked him before they got married because
he had controlling tendencies and there could be a whole
other post of the red flags that she missed and

(40:14):
was overall not a good person.

Speaker 2 (40:17):
By the way.

Speaker 3 (40:17):
This comes from user new Girl four four four on
the r slash Okay storytime, So I read it so
my parents. My parents' relationship with Kelsey was also strained
because she moved him into her apartment while they were dating.
I should note that my parents were paying for her
tuition and apartment at that time, and their rule was
that they would not be financing us living with our partners,

(40:39):
we could live with them when we paid our own expenses.
My sister kept asking if she could move him in
and they kept saying no, so she moved him in secretly.
When they got caught, he made Kelsey deal with it
by herself and then tried to trash our parents on
social media because they stopped paying for the apartment. Like
I said, strained relationship, but there was some creativity when

(41:00):
he was around. For not creativity ctiviility, my parents would
get him the same number of presents as everyone else
for Christmas, and my dad would try to talk to
him about his job. Around June, he called her while
he was away for work and said that he wanted
a divorce. He said it was because he wanted to
work his new job without having to worry about a
wife and responsibilities back home. She called me that night

(41:23):
distraw and I drove two hours at midnight to be there.
When I was with Kelsey helping her pack, it was
discovered that her husband's real reasoning behind the divorce was
that he was cheating with his new boss's daughter. He
sent her a snapchat that said on the phone getting
a divorce Go team. They had multiple photos sent to
each other, and whole conversations about a love compatibility test

(41:45):
that they took. My family and I helped move her
back home, trying to be as supportive as possible. Kelsey
and I decided to rent a house together so that
our dogs could have a backyard and it would save
us some money. A week after we signed the lease,
which is a month after the divorce was finalized, her
ex husband messaged her stating that he messed up and
wanted her back after his relationship ended with the boss' daughter.

(42:08):
She has been talking to him again and lying about
seeing her friend Reagan when she's actually going to see him.
She didn't know that I knew the truth until recently
because I was hoping that this was a fleeting decision.
Kelsey is an individual who if you disagree with her decisions,
she will double down. She has been trying to drop
hints in our conversation since we moved to try and

(42:30):
support him, like all men cheat, which is not true.
It's not true, uh, and God loves everyone no matter
what they've done. I've had to come back with examples
to dissuade her statements like our brother and our dad
have never cheated. God can still love someone but not
have them in his vicinity because their actions have consequences

(42:51):
aka sending them to the to the bad place. Everything
came to a head last weekend when we finally talked
about it. She kept saying that she needs to see
if she can make her marriage work for herself, and
who's to say he can't change to what she needs
him to be. I kept saying that I get that

(43:11):
she had so much love for him, but he didn't
have love for her, and he wouldn't have cheated and
broken up their marriage over the phone. It won't work
out the way she wants it to. People don't change
that fundamentally in two months. I don't know how to
get through to her that her self worth is so
much more than going back to a cheater who ended
things over a phone call. There are seven billion people

(43:34):
in the world, and she wants to stick with this one.
I also told her that I don't want her bringing
him over to our shared home. I loathe him and
don't trust him as far as I can throw him.
I genuinely believe he would do something to me, my
stuff or my dog to get me to move out
so he could move in and mooch off of Kelsey again.
We have not had a conversation unless it pertains to

(43:55):
the house. Since that conversation, she asked me if I'm
really going to ice her out, and I explained that
I'm not icing her out, but I'm going to pretend that,
but I'm not going to pretend that I support what
she's doing to be all buddy buddy with her. I
am so angry that she just kept lying to my
face to sneak off to see him and then would

(44:18):
be totally okay with it. She justifies it by saying
that she knew this is how I would I was
going to react. I told her that it doesn't make
it right. Lying straight to my face and getting mad
when I would ask questions is not okay if you
think having him back in your life is such a
good decision. I told her, I'm setting the boundary that
if she has him in her life, then I'm gonna

(44:40):
take a step back. I will treat her as a roommate,
but I will not go out of my way to
hang out with her. I stood up for her the
first time and supported her even when I didn't like
the relationship. But I don't think I can mentally do
it again. I was stuck playing mediator in my family
and having to watch this man treat her poorly over
and over again. So am I I the a hole

(45:00):
for telling her it won't work out the way that
she wants it to and acting like she's just a roommate.
Any advice on the situation would be greatly appreciated, And
by the way, I would greatly appreciate it if you
join us when we go live every weekday on YouTube, Facebook,
and Twitch and TikTok at three pm PST. Just tap

(45:22):
our profile and we might even be live right now.
Are you the A hole? Op? No? But but okay,
well let me get you go go ahead?

Speaker 2 (45:31):
No, you go ahead.

Speaker 3 (45:33):
I was gonna say, I feel like completely icing her
out and turning her from your sister into like a
roommate that you don't even really want to hang out with.
That's kind of an a hole move and it's not
gonna help you. Yeah, the only thing that's gonna do
is make her run faster back into this dude's arms.

Speaker 2 (45:51):
Yeah. Well, well I was gonna say. Yeah. I think
I was gonna say no for talk like saying, hey,
you shouldn't, you know, be doing that, you shouldn't be
getting back together with him. But I also agree, I
don't think you have to treat her like a roommate
unless it's actively, like, unless she's uh, go, like pushing
past your boundaries and bringing the guy home all the time. Yes,

(46:12):
at that point, then you can be like, you know what,
our relationship is not working. You're not you know, listening
to me and my boundaries.

Speaker 3 (46:20):
Although you know what, now that I'm thinking about it,
I can see why she would be that upset about
because she I think where the core of Op's issues
coming from is that her sister was lying to her
about meeting up with this guy. She was saying she
was going somewhere else. Yeah. And it's like, if you've
ever helped like a friend like through like a toxic
like situation like this, yeah, it can get really frustrating

(46:42):
when it's like.

Speaker 2 (46:43):
I have been in situations where you're like, stop doing that,
iying about it.

Speaker 3 (46:48):
It's like, yeah, I can't deal with this anymore.

Speaker 2 (46:51):
Yeah, but it's like you can.

Speaker 3 (46:54):
So I can get being that upset about it. But
at the same time, from my point of view, my
perspective is only with friends because I'm have any siblings,
So I just can't imagine like fully icing out your
sister in this moment when clearly that's going to accelerate
the issue that she's having. I think it's pretty clear.

Speaker 2 (47:11):
I don't think I would ever ice my sibling out
for this behavior. But I also, like, as you kind
of experienced, I also have friends where I've had to
go through this constant like don't do that. Maybe we
should not, you know, maybe we should move on from
that person. But I don't think I would ice them out.
But I also think there's only so much you can

(47:33):
do to help them, and at a certain point it
becomes exhausting on your end.

Speaker 3 (47:40):
I think maybe should from having a conversation of position
to a passive one would be good.

Speaker 2 (47:44):
Yes, I think it's like, Okay, you know what, I
can't help you. I can't give you advice if you're
not going to take it. We're still sisters, but I
you know, please don't come to me anymore about this
because you're not listening to man exactly. I think that
conversation could be had where you express your boundaries and
say you're not helping yourself. But I think unless she

(48:06):
was bringing the person home and actively affecting your life,
and you know that would be the only case where
I think like literally icing out.

Speaker 3 (48:16):
So you're on the right track. Ope, you're a little stinky,
just step far.

Speaker 2 (48:21):
Yeah, you're just stepped too far, too much. So let's see.

Speaker 3 (48:25):
Let's see how the story ends, so give it edit.

Speaker 1 (48:27):
Uh.

Speaker 3 (48:28):
We decided to rent a place together where they're living now.
I suppose I twenty five female, just finished grad school
and was previously living at home to avoid student loans.
Her name and mine are on a year long lease.
Kelsey told my dad that she was talking to her
ex again before anyone else, and he told her that

(48:49):
she better not tell our ex where we were moving.
I had bought security cameras for the house when we
first moved in, mainly to make sure the dogs didn't
tear up stuff and for security purposes. Kelsey told me
it was dumb to spend my money on them, and
kind of threw a hissy fit. A few nights later,
she asked for access to the cameras to watch quote
the funny dog videos, and I brushed her off because

(49:11):
she was being sketchy about it. She never asked about
them again, and some have speculated that the ex lost
his job, but according to Kelsey, he was just moved
to a different part of the company. He worked in
the same department as the boss's daughter, and that's how
they met. I don't know if he will stay at
that job because he's had around five different ones while
he was with Kelsey. He's currently staying with a friend.

(49:32):
So and that is the end of that story.

Speaker 2 (49:36):
Dang, I got roped into cooking for my family and
now my sister and I are fighting. English is not
my first language, and this is what it translated. This
is what was translated using AI. Also, this is my
friend's story and she needs some outside perspective, but I
will be telling it in first person to reproduce confusion
and now hear some context. By the way, this comes

(49:57):
from Least Clue seventy sixty eight on the Okay Storytime
Separate It. So I come from a big family. I
live with my dad sixty one male, step mom fifty
two female, sister twenty nine female, half brother twelve male,
and half sister fifteen female. My older brother thirty two male,

(50:18):
moved out, so it's just me and the rest of them.
I'm twenty five female. Okay, so we have dad, step mom, sister,
half brother, half sister. So this all started on a
particularly frustrating Thursday. I had planned to hang out with
my brother and his girlfriend, but due to some family
drama involving my dad and brother think court issues and

(50:41):
all that mess good duty, I was told to stay home.
My dad wanted me to focus on studying instead. I
understand why my dad wanted me to stay, so I obliged.
Most of the day I was cooped up in my
room while my dad popped in and out to check
on me. Then came the moment that set everything off.
My dad asked me to blend a box of tomatoes

(51:02):
in the kitchen to prevent them from spoiling. My stepmom
jokingly suggested I cook something while I was at it.
My jokingly that you mentioned making Joloff rice, but somehow
it turned into a serious task. I figured it might
as well. I might as well learn how to cook,
so after taking a shower, I headed downstairs to start prepping. However,
I underestimated how challenging cooking could be. This is so

(51:26):
great story is really funny. Something that's when things took
a turn with my sister while cooking, and my sister
came downstairs and touched the pot I was using for
the meat. Already stressed from trying to follow YouTube cooking tutorials,
this upset me because the video's emphasized not to touch
the pot or open the lid.

Speaker 3 (51:43):
Oh wait did she open the later? Did she just
touch the pot?

Speaker 2 (51:46):
When she did, I snapped and told her not to
touch it again. Her response was defiant, I've touched it.
What are you gonna do? Who know? Oh no, here
we go, sy, I pushed her. Honestly, I was angry
already and her touching the pot didn't make it better.
This escalated quickly into an argument about respect and sibling dynamics.

(52:11):
She accused me laughing at her, which confused me because
I was far from amused. I was stressed about cooking
when I had no idea how to do it. Despite
trying to stay silent, we ended up yelling at each other,
despite my efforts to stay quiet and just cook. It
felt like all that pent up frustration exploded right there
in the kitchen. We eventually went silent and just ended

(52:33):
up watching videos on our fer. A couple minutes later,
my dad walked in and asked about how the rice
was coming along. He then turned to my sister and
asked what had happened. Apparently, my sister looked visibly angry,
while I didn't. Obviously, I'm not gonna be mad and
talk to my dad. My dad poor because he hasn't

(52:56):
done anything to me. She started talking loudly about how
I been disrespectful and how she didn't appreciate being pushed
away from the pot. Despite my efforts to stay quiet
and separate myself from the situation, we quickly escalated into
yelling at each other. Needing to calm down, but still
focused on not letting my food burn. I stayed in
the kitchen while cutting on you as tears filled my

(53:18):
eyes from pent up frustration. I cry when I'm angry.
It's my own personal curse. I told her not to
come near me because I was holding a knife. I
honestly wasn't meant as a threat. It was just a
statement of fact. But looking back, I realized that my
tone might have sounded a threat. In an attempt to
defend myself further, I made another comment, you want me
to make your hair right? This wasn't meant as an

(53:39):
attack either. I was just pointing out how she could
treat me poorly yet still expect help from me. Later,
she had stayed up l late doing my hair just
the night before, which I genuinely appreciated, but apparently I
complained what I did her hair. I honestly had no
idea that I did this. She said it made her
angry and that I was ungrateful. I wasn't, but I
guess everyone is entitled to their own a bit. The

(54:01):
argument escalated even more when I threatened to damage her car,
not seriously, it was just an empty threat out of
frustration that slipped out during a heated exchange. We were
both saying hurtful things. At this point, I brought up
how she often borrows money from me and called her broke.
She retaliated by bringing up my GPA, as if that
somehow jestified her actions. At one point during this we

(54:23):
both ended up holding knives, not as an actual threat,
but more as an unfortunate circumstance of being in the
kitchen while arguing. In an attempt to diffuse things further,
I handed mine over to my stepmom while she still
held hers tightly. That's when things took a turn for
the worse. I grabbed her hand and threw the knife
on the floor, and in a moment of anger and frustration,
she bit down on one of my corn rows, hard

(54:45):
enough that it hurt like hell I had stooped. I
had stupid extensions attached to it, so it seemed more
like a half up, half down cornrow style with a
little bit of hair left out. In retaliation. Still caught
up in the heat of the moment, I grabbed her hair,
not sure if this matters, but cornrows two just without
the extension, and pulled hard without thinking about what might
happen next. It wasn't until afterward that I realized I'd

(55:09):
unknowingly left her with a bald spot from where I'd
yanked her hair so forcefully. I don't I didn't find
out until about thirty minutes later. She threatened again to
cut off my hair and retaliation, since she had made
my hair and I hadn't made hers yet. At this point,
realizing how out of control things had gotten, I caught
myself yelling at my dad. I immediately apologized. When you

(55:31):
realize this, it made me stop talking entirely because I
noticed that I was yelling at everyone and needed to
regain control over my anger.

Speaker 3 (55:38):
I'm sorry, yelling at your dad was the moment you.

Speaker 2 (55:41):
Realized to fall on a minute, and not the knife.

Speaker 3 (55:46):
Fight where you had to give the knife this step mom,
not when you were biting each other's hair off.

Speaker 2 (55:51):
I think this is funny because this all started again.
Opie was just trying to make some breaks. Yeah, just
trying to be like, what imagine if I made literally
never go into the kitchen when Opie's in the kitchen.
I guess that's the lesson, and Honeybee says, and how
old are these children? Twenty five and twenty nine?

Speaker 3 (56:08):
Yeah, twenty five and yeah, twenty nine.

Speaker 2 (56:11):
My sister still kept talking, but I kept quiet because
I really didn't want to keep going. Eventually, my stepmom
took me aside on the stairwell for a talk about
after everything calmed down slightly. She emphasized that since I'm
the younger sister, I shouldn't disrespect my older sister like that.
Her words stung because they made me feel like no
one really cared about me, and all everyone wanted to

(56:32):
do was console my sister. I still felt guilty about
everything that had happened, and I mentioned that I would apologize,
but I was advised not to apologize that day Thursday.
This is important. I decided it would be better for
both of us if we cooled off first before addressing
everything again. I finished cooking in silence and went to bed,

(56:52):
still feeling tense. The next day, Friday, despite intending to
braid her hair as usual, as something we often did,
I decided i'd against it given all the tension between us.
Planning to apologize later when she calmed down seemed wise
at first, However, this only backfired as she grew angrier
throughout the day. While things were still tense at home,
my mom called me out of nowhere. She asked how

(57:14):
things were going and if I'd talked to my sister yet.
When I explain what happened during her fight and how
things had been since then, she told me that I
should apologize, but not right away. What is that? Why
is everyone waiting? She suggested, waiting until everyone had calmed
down a bit more before trying to talk things through
with my sister. I thought this made sense, since emotions
were still running high after everything that had happened just yesterday,

(57:36):
and I decided I would talk. I would talk to
her tomorrow, which would have been Saturday. But around eight
pm that evening, she stormed into my room, yelling and
showing me a picture of her hair. It was bad.
I had no idea it was that bad, and stating
that she'd cut my hair and declared that we were
no longer sisters. I was about to apologize, but decided

(57:58):
against it, as I was told to stay quiet and
apologize when she calms down. I came to the conclusion
that any form of speech for me would escalate escalate
things further, so I stayed quiet and allowed her to
yell before she stormed out of my room. Eventually, after
some time passed, maybe three to five minutes, my stepmom
suggested it might be a good time for me to apologize,

(58:18):
contrary to previous advice that my dad, mom and stepmom
had given about leaving things alone for now, so I
decided to go downstairs, intending to apologize for everything to
happen between us earlier. She was talking to her dad
when I got downstairs, so I waited till they were
done before I approached her with an apology. Despite her
anger and yelling at me, still, I remained calm and

(58:41):
kept apologizing. I basically stood there and said sorry over
and over again while she yelled at me. After about
two minutes of this, my dad tells me to leave,
so I go back upstairs and decide to send the
message that had already typed up. Here's the text that
I sent her.

Speaker 3 (58:56):
Up, so you should have just texted her earlier.

Speaker 2 (58:58):
Send it sorry about everything that happened. I let my
stress about cooking and not being able to understand the
YouTube videos get to me, and I shouldn't have taken
it out on you. I shouldn't have acted like that
when you touched the pot. I was just trying to
follow what these cooking videos said, and I was angry
that you touched the pot. I didn't even realize how
far things had gotten until it was too late. And

(59:19):
then when you started yelling about disrespect and me laughing
at you, which honestly I wasn't, I didn't handle it well.
I shut down and decided that ignoring you instead of
fighting and trying to talk it out would be better.
I shouldn't have pulled your hair, but I only did
that because you were biting my hair, and I know
that was way out of line, and I really am
sorry for that. I didn't know how much damage I

(59:39):
did until you showed me this evening. I also shouldn't
have brought up money or any of the things I said.
It was petty and hurtful, and I regret saying it.
I was just trying to defend myself, and I'm sorry
for that. I also shouldn't have threatened to do anything
to your car either. That was just meaning dramatic and stupid.
I appreciate everything you do for me, and you stay

(01:00:00):
awake to do my hair. I shouldn't have acted like
I was too good to help you out, or that
I wasn't going to do your hair. I actually was,
and at that time saying that just felt right. I
realized I was being unfair, and I'm sorry. By the way,
we would never be sorry. If you joined us live
every week to three pmpst on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, and Twitch,

(01:00:21):
just top your profile.

Speaker 3 (01:00:22):
You will be sorry. We could be live right now.

Speaker 2 (01:00:25):
And there is a little bit more, but uh.

Speaker 3 (01:00:30):
This is just like a the snowball just like rolled
out of control.

Speaker 2 (01:00:35):
And now there's like rocks in the snowball.

Speaker 3 (01:00:37):
Yeah, and it's icy and it was the size of
a suv and by the time it got out of
the bottom of it done, they're holding knives, they're biting
corn rows. There's knives in the snowball too. H Yeah,
it's like I think that I still can't get over that.
That was Like it was like when I when I
yelled at my dad for no reason. That's when I
realized it was too far. It wasn't when you were

(01:01:00):
at each other, going at each other with knives.

Speaker 2 (01:01:03):
Biting each other's hair.

Speaker 3 (01:01:06):
Second time the fight started after you guys backed off
and then started it again.

Speaker 2 (01:01:10):
Yeah, maybe maybe, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:01:12):
This was I think this is a great example of
like again, where it's like they just kept going low. Yes,
someone just needs to go high one time and just
be like, I don't care.

Speaker 2 (01:01:22):
A story of sisters going away too low.

Speaker 3 (01:01:25):
I don't care. What are you gonna do about it? Nothing,
because I don't care. Boom. The entire fight is diffuse,
It doesn't even happen diffused. It's yeah, I'm not gonna
do anyth about it because I'm too busy cooking done.
But just if you ever find yourself in this like uh,
I'm trying to think of like It's like a critical
mass situation where it just keeps it just keeps on going.

Speaker 2 (01:01:46):
This it's like arcane with the gemstones and if they like,
if they keep hitting things and they're like getting more
and more put powerful and stuff, and then they blow up.

Speaker 3 (01:01:58):
But there's a little bit left, yea, let's finish it up.

Speaker 2 (01:02:01):
So that's how everything unfolded over these two days up
until now. Honestly, I'm a little conflicted because I honestly
feel that we were both a holes for the situation,
But reddit am I the a hole for how things
went done? Edit to add, Okay, I'm pretty sure I
said the age was modified, and I guess that has
caused a bit of confusion in most places. At least,
here are the real ages. My friend's sister is twenty

(01:02:24):
one female, my friend is nineteen females. I didn't know
modifying the ages that much would cause this much confusion.
I apologize.

Speaker 3 (01:02:32):
Yeah, yeah, it's like, how are you doing this when
you're twenty nine?

Speaker 2 (01:02:35):
And also they're all living together and when they're twenty
five and twenty nine. And also I was confused about
that because Opie kept saying, like I'm in school, I'm
in school, and I was like, I mean, I guess
you could be at school at twenty five.

Speaker 3 (01:02:46):
Oh yeah, if you're at Harvard Medical School, you'd be
in school at twenty five. And I was like what
I was a little bit wouldn't know anything about that drop.

Speaker 2 (01:02:51):
Out dup dead of all these schools. Uh yeah, so
Opie was nineteen in the story and the sister was
twenty one.

Speaker 3 (01:02:58):
Makes so much makes more sense.

Speaker 2 (01:03:00):
Yeah, still crazy.

Speaker 3 (01:03:02):
It's the tail end of when this becomes acceptable. I
would expect that to be the last. Yeah, you better
not do it out fight. Yeah, between the two of them. Yeah,
but twenty five and twenty nine. I was like, this
makes no sense.

Speaker 2 (01:03:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:03:13):
It's also like you need to know how to cook rice?

Speaker 2 (01:03:16):
Yes, yeah, nineteen. I'm like, okay, okay, like you're not
even living on your own. Yeah, this makes a little
bit more sense.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}I pointed out how much I do for our household…and my wife is STILL ungrateful! - r/BestofRedditorUpdates | Reddit Stories | EP1992