I REFUSE to attend my best friend’s wedding because she’s pregnant… and getting married to my ex! | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is Cowboy Sam and this is Eh John. And
we've last showed in some amazing stories for y'all the
Okay Storytime podcasts. But before that we got a wrangle,
a quick little two minute out break from those bucking sponsors.
We bucking love so.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Much either paid us the bucks to help this show
stay alive. I refuse to attend my best friend's wedding
because she's pregnant and getting married to my ex.

Speaker 1 (00:24):
There's a lot to unpack.

Speaker 2 (00:25):
So two major parts of my life inverged recently, and
I'm just devastated and questioning pretty much all my actions.
Hence why I'm posting here because I may be acting
awful to two people I love dearly. By the way,
this comes from Broken Hearted And if you want to
submit your own stories, go to our slash shooky Storytime
supparate it. Part one is Tammy, my best friend since
elementary school. She's literally my sister. We have done pretty

(00:47):
much everything together, same college, same dorm, roommates, confidant, sloppy,
wasted mates, you name it. I love her so much.
Part two is Gregory, my college boyfriend. I love him
as well, but we just could never make things work.
Had one of those hot mess relationships, which are a
combination of torture and bliss. We have dated off and
on since freshman orientation. All of us are twenty seven now,

(01:08):
but usually end up in flames. I always loved him
so much that I hoped we'd mature and be able
to make things work. He moved to a different city
after college, but we stayed in touch, sent flirty texts,
and even went on vacation twice. We got along great
as long as we both had our own places to
retreat to, if that makes sense. All along we both
had dating lives, and to be fair, I never told
him about my long term idea that we'd beat together.

(01:31):
A year ago, Tammy moved to a city about thirty
minutes away from Gregory. She was having a really hard
time meeting people, so I told her, since she knew
Gregory so well, she should call him up and see
if he can introduce her to his group of friends.
She did, and I knew she was much happier. About
three months after that, the flirty text from Gregory just
stopped out of the blue, which isn't that big of
a deal because it's happened before, But looking back, I

(01:53):
should have known what was coming. Tammy just came home
for the weekend and said she was making a special
trip just to see me. Of course, I was super
excited to see her. She came over and she just
seemed a little off. First, she told me she was pregnant.
After we got past the shock and established she was
happy and keeping the baby, I was elated to be
an aunt. Then she said there's more, and this is

(02:13):
really hard. I about passed away when she said the
baby is Gregory's. She apologized and said she was so sorry.
They had just hit it off and they didn't mean
to do anything to hurt me, and they even tried
breaking up for my sake, but they just realized there
was too much attraction and they started dating. She hadn't
planned on getting pregnant, but now that she is, they're
getting married. She said she hoped this didn't hurt me,

(02:34):
and she always dreamed about me being her maid of honor,
and there's no one else she could ever ask. I
tried to keep my cool, but I just lost it.
I wasn't mad at her, just really really sad. I
told her that I loved her, but I just couldn't
be around her. Right now, and no way I could
even go to their wedding, let alone be in the
wedding party. She said she was sorry about a million
times as she was leaving, and she texted me quite

(02:54):
a bit wanting to see me before she left town
on Sunday. I just couldn't do it. I literally cried
all week. Here's the thing, if I were nicer in
the picture, they make a perfect couple. Perfect Tammy's brand
of fiery is much better match to Gregory's calm nature
than mine. They are both gorgeous and smart and great
with kids. If two people should be hooking up to

(03:15):
be great partners and parents, it's those two. I just
can't help being hurt. Am I the a hole for
not wanting to be or made of honor? And there
is an edit and an update. But what are your
initial thoughts? Because I've got some.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
I think for me, I understand why she feels upset,
Like she introduced these two people together. She's incredibly close
to them. She has residual feelings, probably unresolved, yeah stuff
for Gregory.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
Like especially because she thought that they were She was like,
I always thought we'd end up together, and.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
Like a flirty text continuously throughout, Like even if they're
not like actively dating anymore, there's still some affection on
both sides. So I get where she's coming from. But
you're not together.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
Any I think. Yeah, I think I agree with that,
and I don't think this will be relationship or friendship ending,
you know, like friendship ending on either side.

Speaker 1 (04:03):
She recognizes that they're a good couple.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
I just think that she needs a minute, she.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
Needs time to process that she's not the one for him, yeah,
and that her friend is.

Speaker 2 (04:10):
I also think that it's totally fair if she doesn't
want to be made of honor for this wedding. Edit.
This blew up like crazy. I had no idea. Thank you.
I think pretty much everyone so far thinks at least
my initial reaction is okay. The thing that people seem
most confused by is the timeline, And honestly I was
wrong in my original post. Tam and I only talked
for maybe ten minutes on Friday evening, so there is
a lot I don't know. But I went through my

(04:32):
texts and such, and this is the best I can
put together. June twenty seventeen, Greg took me to White
That is the last time I saw it. We texted
maybe two three times a week. May twenty eighteen, Tammy
gets her job and moves to the new city. We
text her call easily combined one hundred times a day
or more dang. Late July twenty eighteen, Tammy confesses that
she's really lonely. All her coworkers are older, and she's

(04:54):
seriously thinking about quitting and moving back. I tell her
she should call it Greg. She doesn't have his number,
so I give it to I still keep getting flirty,
but nothing over from Greg in this time period. August
twenty eighteen, I start a project at my job promotions company,
setting up for a December event for ab list celebrity.
It's literally a make or break for my company and
my career. I work sixteen hour day minimums and basically

(05:15):
go off the grid. Greg still texts occasionally, and I
keep missing Tammy's calls. September twenty eighteen, last text from Greg,
like I said, no big deal. I didn't even see
this until today, but Tammy's texted me please call me.
I sap, we really need to talk about something. This
adds a whole new element to the story, but I
can't believe I forgot or miss the text. I responded
to another text of hers later in the day kind

(05:36):
of witchy. Hey, you know, I'm busy. Give me some
time to breathe. Ooh, another piece I forgot until I
dug in my text. She may have taken this as
a message I wasn't ready. I assume this is when
they first hooked up. Oh okay, so she did try
to tell you. She did try to tell you.

Speaker 1 (05:50):
It's not not that it's anyone's fault, but it's really
not her quote unquote fall.

Speaker 2 (05:55):
Yeah, it's not Tammy sauce. She did try to tell you.
She was like, hey, I need to tell you, and
I thought, O peace. While she was she was in
like a make or break moment for her career. She's like,
I'm working sixteen hour days, Like I truly don't know
at that point. It's after that, you go home, you eat,
you sleep, Yeah, go back to work. You don't have
time to really be worrying about anything else.

Speaker 1 (06:13):
Which is fine.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
It's it's it's just the circumstances happened and you didn't
find out because.

Speaker 1 (06:17):
Yeah, the cards fell in a very unfortunate way here.

Speaker 2 (06:20):
Yeah. September to December we still miss each other, and
honestly don't think I talked to her, And looking back,
she texted about five times to every one of my responses,
and if I read it right, she initiated all conversations.
I wasn't a very good friend. My event goes off
pretty well, and then I immediately leave for an overseas
vacation with my family. January. We still didn't talk at all,
but I didn't think much of it. Briody the first

(06:41):
she drops the news in person. She's been pregnant for
about two weeks and getting married in April, so that's
the timeline. Not sure if it clears anything up, but
it looks like tam it may have reached out to
me at least once. It seems like she was trying
to have that conversation for a really long time, and
there is an update. Again, I don't think anyone's a
hole here. I think it was a lot of I mean,
like maybe you're a little bit the ale in how

(07:03):
like you weren't really there for her even after the.

Speaker 1 (07:06):
Job finished, but she was on vacation.

Speaker 2 (07:08):
Exactly, so it's like.

Speaker 1 (07:09):
It's not even she's not trying to be.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
Yeah, I don't think you're necessarily a whole maybe just
like somewhat inconsiderate in the friendship.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
Yeah, maybe inconsiderate, maybe a little bit busy, maybe just
not the most available at the time.

Speaker 2 (07:22):
I mean even your friend seems to be like Tammy
seems to be understanding as well.

Speaker 1 (07:26):
Yeah, like she still wants you to be They still
like they're still friends. They still like, yeah, hung out
after that independently, like she thought that, oh, she's coming
to see me, not to drop this news.

Speaker 2 (07:35):
Yeah, and like you.

Speaker 1 (07:36):
Said, she she's she's saying, will you come be my
maid up, honor? I still care about in spite of
the distance that's happened in the last few months, in
spite of I know how like this is going to
hurt you, I still care about you enough to want
you as this important position. Yeah, in my wedding.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
So I do think it. But I think it's less
important for us to all of this because it's like
you know, I mean, it just tells us like everyone
had stuff going on. But I think it's more important
that open he knows this, because it's like she tried
to tell.

Speaker 1 (08:02):
You mm hmm, you know, and like op recognizes it.

Speaker 2 (08:05):
Yeah, I think. So that's why I don't think this
f think.

Speaker 1 (08:07):
She even recognizes that they're an excellent copy. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (08:10):
Update, I got so many nice comments on my original
and my first ever gold I figured I owed everyone
an update and sort of what I'm thinking now. After
getting a chance to talk it out with Tammy and
see Gregory for the first time in almost two years,
I took the rest of the week off to have
a self pity party that wasn't working, so I just decided,
screw it, I'm gonna drive seven hours to see Tammy
and just tell her how I was feeling. I texted

(08:31):
her on the way and she said she was happy
I was coming. I really wanted to address all the
very good questions you good people had brought up in
my post from Tuesday. So I got there and we
basically hugged he low, and I have to admit I
was very happy to see her. What was so effing
weird as it was obvious Gregory was living in her
place now I don't even know why I hadn't even
thought about this, but he's a pretty messy dude. So
when I saw cereal bowls on the coffee table and

(08:53):
socks on the floor grat that used to drive me
up the wall. I was like, wow, this is real.
Thank god Greg wasn't there, and Tammy apologized that she
just didn't feel good enough to clean up before she
heard I was coming. So our conversation basically centered around
what happened and why she never told me. At first,
she was kind of talking about it to spare my feelings,
and I got sort of frustrated with her. I told
her to please just tell me what happened. It turns

(09:15):
out they went out as a group right after I
gave her Greg's number, and they just had an immediate attraction.
For the first few times they hung out, it was
all just reminiscing about college days and they never mentioned
the attraction. After about two weeks of hanging out, they
kissed for the first time, and she was so pissed
at herself that she blocked his number and didn't see
him for almost a month. Dang, I guess she got
lonely again. They ran into each other and they admitted

(09:36):
they had real feelings. She said she texted me and
told me she wanted to talk about it right after
they agreed to start dating. I found this out on
my own on Tuesday after going through my texts, but
since I was so busy, I wasn't very nice to her.
She knew I was busy and really wavered on interrupting
the most important time in my professional career versus telling
me some very hard to swallow news she said, rightly
or wrongly, she decided to tell me in person when

(09:59):
she saw me again. As forward a little bit, things
got so serious they talked about eloping after only two months. Dang,
and we're pretty much living together. She said. They had
a wasted New Year's Eve party and just weren't careful,
and that's when she assumed she got pregned. She knew
then that it was an in person conversation she had
to have with me. Her first free weekend was last weekend.
I basically responded by saying, I just didn't know how

(10:20):
to feel. In my brain, I knew Gregory and I
were not compatible, but my heart always hoped we'd grow
up and be able to make it work, and she
was my best friend and I basically hooked them up.
I just don't know how to deal with all of this.
I know it's over, but even seeing his stuff on
her floor was sort of painful. Honestly, that would have
been a massive fight between Greg and me. Like I said,
Tammy's much more chill. I told her that I was

(10:41):
always lover and always be her friend, but in April
wedding is probably just too soon to be involved in
the wedding party. She said, she totally understood. We talked
about the elephant in the room for maybe twenty more minutes,
but honestly we were just talking in circles, saying the
same thing over and over again, so we just sort
of moved on how she was feeling, how work was going.
Me apparently wearing some sort of man repellent because I
can't even hook up on Tinder and all the other

(11:03):
things friends usually talk about. Damny is in full blown
morning sickness, so she must have barfed fifteen times in
the first two hours of me being there. That sucks.
At first, I just let her do her thing, but
then I felt really bad because we've been friends for
over twenty years and I wasn't even helping her. So
I went in helped put her hair in a ponytail
and rubbed her back. That's when it hit me. I
would absolutely regret it and never been able to forgive

(11:25):
myself if I weren't there for her wedding, pregnancy, and
having a baby, no matter who she was marrying. We
went to lunch, and at that point I told her
I was sorry for being selfish and then I would
be her maid of honor.

Speaker 1 (11:35):
Okay, surprise, surprise.

Speaker 2 (11:38):
She just needed a minute.

Speaker 1 (11:39):
She just needed to like actually like see her friend. Yeah,
talk to her.

Speaker 2 (11:43):
She's like, okay, married, Yeah, literally, like I.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
Feel like she was ambushed in the beginning, which is time.

Speaker 2 (11:48):
I know it was coming. Needed a minute to sort
through feelings, right, Yeah. She said, no way was I
being selfish, but that she would never have another made
of honor besides me. It's not going to be the
easy thing in my life. But I can't not do it.
So we went back to our apartment and Gregory was home.
Suddenly I felt like such an idiot because I couldn't
possibly be in their wedding, let alone ever be around

(12:09):
the two of them together. That was the most awkward
aloe I've ever had in my life. And then God
he cleaned up, because I was just amped up with
nerves to scream at him like I would have been
the past. We sort of awkwardly sat on the couch,
not saying much, But after a few minutes, I just
started telling myself again to grow up, don't let my
own feeling good in the way of two people who
may really belong together. Seeing them together in person is
even more saccharine sweet than I thought possible. They're perfect

(12:33):
for each other. Gregory's supportive. I don't know how many
times I had to claim best friend privilege when she
got sick over a loving fiancee privilege. Ah and sweet,
and she's far more tolerant of him than I could
have ever possibly been. It was still hard for the
rest of the evening, but I think it will get
better with time. I decided again I would be in
their wedding. We had dinner and I got a hotel
because even though I'm trying, I'm not ready to sleep

(12:55):
in the same house as them. That's fair. Dammy had
to work today, so I'm just hanging out before I
see her for lunch, and then I'm going to drive
back home. We have a long, long way to go,
but I'm so glad I came to see her because
at the very least we saw each other, talked it out,
and I'm very happy that I'm going to be involved
in these major life offents with her. Thank you so
much for all the input the other day, and thank
you for reading all this edit too. I totally passed

(13:17):
out last night, so I didn't get to participate like
I would have. I have to jump in into fend Tammy.
Maybe no one will see this because it's probably a
time this fades. Maybe no one will believe me. But
for all the criticisms of her, there's a good explanation
that can most likely be explained away by me being
a bad writer or not wanting this to be a
self absorbed person novel. For example, I saw someone saying
Tammy should have called after the first guess. I've known

(13:38):
her for so long to know that she knows I
can be very irrational and angry. I alluded to it
in the other post, but I had to do a
year of anger management therapy because I could be like
Dynamite when I get pissed. I'm way better now, but
she probably has legit PCSD from some of my pre
freak outs. She figured it was a one time thing,
so I poke the bear, if that makes sense. I
mean propsto pee for coming so far, because it seems

(13:59):
like you handle both of those interactions pretty well after
with Dammy.

Speaker 1 (14:02):
Yeah, and it's like with her knowing that and like
with with it Via, like a one time she cut
it off afterwards, she was like blocked him, She's blocking
his number. She's like, I'd never intend to see him again.
And it's only at Ope.

Speaker 2 (14:14):
He's in the middle of like a whole work thing too.

Speaker 1 (14:16):
Yeah, And it's like if Cammy had come to her
during this work thing and blown this whole big secret
wide open that like if it's crushing op now like
it's it was going to be crushing then totally distracting,
would she been able to do her work exactly.

Speaker 2 (14:32):
No, and she would have been more upset than like, oh,
you know, Tammy totally ruined my work thing. Secondly, I
can't stress enough how busy I was last fall. Not
an exaggeration to say I was working sixteen plus hour
days with maybe a day off every twenty to thirty days.
I was planning a huge event that centered around a
truly self absorbed person, and he would have me on
my phone texting questions and answers all day long. The

(14:54):
last thing I wanted to do in my time off
was get on my phone. I counted from that period
and I'd say it averages two to one of Tammy
texting me. I assume calls were worse, but in one
stretch I think accounted she texted me forty times before
I texted her back. It's bad timing more than anything,
because any one of those may have been when she
wanted to tell me, and I definitely appreciate her thoughtfulness
and not wanting to spring it on me while I

(15:16):
was losing my mind from lack of sleep and work.
I agree with her that this was an in person
conversation anyway. But you don't have to be in person
to watch full episodes of stories just like this. Just
go to Spotify, Apple podcast, or iHeartRadio and search. Okay,
story time, but there is a little bit left to
the story, and do you have any final thoughts.

Speaker 1 (15:31):
I feel like she's wavering a little bit back and
forth on her feelings, like she's handling this the right
way and she's only being human.

Speaker 2 (15:38):
Really, yeah, she's gonna have mixed feelings.

Speaker 1 (15:39):
She this could have gone a lot worse. She could
have been like, I'm.

Speaker 2 (15:41):
Black's never going to see you as again every.

Speaker 1 (15:43):
Single part of my life. Yeah, but no, she's she's
handling this better than I think most people would like.

Speaker 2 (15:48):
I agree.

Speaker 1 (15:49):
I can see she's not going to be ecstatic about
like her perceived soulmate being uh, you know, with her
best friend, with her best friend and having a kid
like all at once. It's like, Okay, that's that's a
lot to take in, and even if you were like
super supportive of them, it's like it's a lot to
take in.

Speaker 2 (16:03):
Yeah, but she's doing a good job.

Speaker 1 (16:04):
Yeah, she's doing her best, and she's acknowledging her faults.
She's acknowledging that they're good for each other, and she's
trying to wish them the best that she can, the
best way that she can.

Speaker 2 (16:13):
Agreed. I know Tammy is just an internet's sprite to
all but one of you, But she is a real
person who has been my ride or dies since we
were ten and eleven. We've fought, screwed each other over
so many times, and we've always forgiven each other because
having her in my life is way more important than
pining over a guy spent most of my time frustrated with. Anyway.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still pining and I cried

(16:34):
last night over this. But like so many people said,
maybe Tam TAM's best gift to me as a friend
was forcing me to move on from a guy who
wasn't right for me. And that is the end of
that story. But yeah, I think I think it probably
is going to be helpful for you in the long
run because it seems like you kept coming back to
this guy. I know you can move on.

Speaker 1 (16:50):
It's finality. That's the gift that she got, that finality
that she has to move on. Yeah, my fir mom
friend wants to be included in the Mother's Day lunch.
She got upset.

Speaker 2 (17:03):
Does she not have a real child, She just has
a dog or something.

Speaker 1 (17:07):
Layla and I are friends with five other women and
have been since middle school. Everyone but us has kids.
We have for babies instead. Once our group had kids,
we tried to do a Mother's Day lunch with all
of us. By the way, this comes to us from
brunch with dogs. And if you want to submit your
own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

(17:28):
It didn't really go over that well because those without
kids couldn't really participate, Like, what do I know about
late night feedings and diapers and first steps or going
through the adoption process. So people without kids were just
left out and everyone was okay with that. It's been
like this for the last eleven years, and now it's
turned to their kids and husbands slash partners, making them

(17:50):
brunch together, serve it up, exchange gifts, stories, and spend
the day together on one big family outing. Leila got
her pup last year. She is one hundred percent the
dog mom. Stickers shirts will give you presents from her dog,
signs cards from her dog. I don't think there's anything
wrong with that, and it's cute. She can go overboard,

(18:11):
like the birthday party she threw for her pup last
month and invited our group and her friends from her
doggy daycare. Some of our friends left because a couple
of the kids have dog allergies and she has dogs
everywhere and didn't include that info. She was sad they left,
so we had to explain to her that she knows
some of our friends' kids have these allergies and she

(18:31):
didn't give a heads up. She invited people to bring
her dog's friends from the doggy daycare. Eventually she let
it go Mother's Day rolls around. She came over and
was pretty upset, said she needed to vend. She said
she was hurt she was left out of the Mother's
Day outing because she's a dog mom and that counts too.

Speaker 2 (18:48):
No, it doesn't, No, it's not. The thing is if
she had come and said, like, hey, I feel a
bit left out because everyone's part of this Mother's Day,
things sense and I always yeah, and I always feel
like I can never come, but I want to, you know,
even though I'm not, I'd like to be there. That
would have made sense. But her argument is I'm a
mother too. I have a dog, like, oh.

Speaker 1 (19:06):
He's not invited to this thingy op, he's not throwing
a fit at least not that she's telling us. I
listened to her for a bit, but when she started
to get actually angry with our other friends, I told
her they had a point in not inviting us. We
could deal with not being invited to the one or
two celebrations out of the year that's for families. She
asked if that means I don't think of my cats

(19:27):
and dogs as family. I told her I do, but
it's not the same. I told her that the outing
is for real moms and their kids. Our friends are
actually making sacrifices, giving up time, energy and resources that
we don't. I gave the example that for her pup,
she got her at eleven weeks and she was already
born and weaned. She had helped training her at a

(19:49):
doggy academy free and easy adoption, and she has her
in doggie daycare five days a week and any time
she wants to take off, and a groomer does all
the bathing and trimming. I told her, I'm not trying
to take away from the joy being a dog mom
brings her, but just trying to highlight how we aren't
the same kind of moms exactly. Layla left after that,
and none of us have heard from her. The only

(20:11):
one who has talked to her works with her and
says Leila has been making some comments about how she
was intentionally left out and her friends don't take her
serious because she doesn't have a crotch goblin. Okay, oh,
he's being left out.

Speaker 2 (20:24):
Too, Yeah, are you talking about her?

Speaker 1 (20:26):
She's not.

Speaker 2 (20:27):
She could have made a commerce like she could have
brought that up and said, hey, I would like to come.
I feel like I've been left out as you guys
have kids, I want to join these parties. That could
have been the argument. Her argument's bad.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
She's taking it a little bit too personal. Yeah, Like
I feel like she maybe is left out of other things,
or maybe she's not available to come, so that when
there's something where she's like actively excluded, it just maybe
hurts a little. B Yeah, I'm starting to think I
may have messed up and should have just been quiet
and let her be mad for a bit. Am I
the a hole?

Speaker 2 (20:56):
I don't think you've done anything else. No, I don't
think you've done like a single thing.

Speaker 1 (21:00):
You tried to like talk sense into Leylai. Yeah, you
were the voice of reason when she didn't have anyone
to talk to. She came to you. Like maybe sometimes
the answer is to kind of let people stew in
their anger. But I don't think that OPI would have
had any malicious intention. Now, it was just like, hey,
just look at it from their perspective, like, I'm not
going to I have cats, I'm not but hurt about this.

Speaker 2 (21:22):
Yeah. I think you tried, and she's been a little
bit of a diva about it. So I think that
you can't control the letter actions let her figure yourself out.

Speaker 1 (21:31):
Honestly, there's an edit. Our mom friends do not just
randomly exclude us. The first two years of having kids,
we did celebrate together those of us without kids. It
was more than just she and I at first could
not talk at length about parenting and families. Going someplace
after lunch had to be kid friendly because the parents
wanted to have their kids with him. We wanted to

(21:51):
go to a bar or a day trip. Our friends
with kids have always made sure to not gush about
their kids all the time as a group, So as
a group, we all decided. Layla included that the Mother's
Day lunch would just be for the moms and their kids,
so they can all do kid friendly activities and gush
about their kids all they wanted. Back then, Laylah would
get bored with them talking about their kids too much

(22:13):
or spending too much time and attention on kid picks
and not other topics. She still has that same attitude today.
There's the second edit. Unless she is keeping the info
to herself, Layla chooses to be child free, and it's
not an issue of being childless. Her marriage did end
because her ex eventually changed his mind to wanting kids.
She took it pretty hard when she found out he

(22:34):
remarried and has kids now and got Lemon not too
long after that. There's another update. Thank you everyone for
your input and insight. Some of the gals and I
met with Layla this past weekend to talk with her
and see if we could make a compromise and just
see how she's doing. See they care about you, Laylah.

Speaker 2 (22:51):
Yeah, all you had to do is talk to them.

Speaker 1 (22:54):
It's one day a year.

Speaker 2 (22:56):
It's Mother's Day.

Speaker 1 (22:57):
One day Mother's Day. Come on.

Speaker 2 (23:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:00):
I apologize to her for my wording of real moms
instead of saying moms with human kids. Okay, I think
that's taking a little too far. I don't think you
didn't need to apologize for that.

Speaker 2 (23:08):
That's nice.

Speaker 1 (23:09):
I think that's like giving her a little too much
credit there for saying real moms with human kids are
something similar. I also apologized for the examples I used
and explained. I felt just that if I said, remember,
we agreed to this because we didn't like hearing about
kids all day and doing kid friendly things would have
been invalidating. We all told her she's an amazing dog

(23:30):
mom to Lemon and didn't thing less of her, just that,
like we originally agreed, Mother's Day would be the one
day they can talk about their kids without restraint and
do kid friendly things without worrying on infringing on child
free friends. After that, I brought up the pet Parents'
Day and Dog Mom Day users mentioned in my original post,
and we proposed doing a celebration for her on one

(23:50):
of those days. We even said we do a belated
pet parent slash dog Mom Day celebration since we hadn't
heard of them prior. I think that's a little bit
like patronizing and fantilizing.

Speaker 2 (23:59):
This is a little bit I mean, I guess that's
really nice of you, but it is a little bit like,
I don't know, it's nice a sending.

Speaker 1 (24:05):
I feel like the intention is there, yeah, but it's
it's not a fix to the scenario.

Speaker 2 (24:10):
I think the Yeah, I feel like maybe yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
Feeling isolated and not knowing how to express it.

Speaker 2 (24:17):
Yeah, I don't know. Maybe maybe she likes it. We'll see.

Speaker 1 (24:20):
Leila asked if everyone and their kids would be there,
and they said if she wants it like the get
together for Lemon with multiple dogs, then no, because of
the dog allergies. She said no to this because she
feels a separate celebration isn't acknowledging her as a mom,
and they don't skip the kids party slash games, so
it shouldn't be any different when Lemon has her doggy
friends around. I gently reminded her that she often leaves

(24:43):
the kids' birthday parties early or skips them entirely because
she doesn't like being around kids for long. She said
it's different, so we asked her how she would like
to do future Mother's Day events. She wants them to
go out to eat at dog friendly places and do
dog friendly activities after so she can have Lemon and
Lemon Caid have friends to play at the same time

(25:04):
like kids do.

Speaker 2 (25:05):
This is crazy.

Speaker 1 (25:06):
We explained to her that it wouldn't be feasible due
to the kids with allergies.

Speaker 2 (25:11):
This is so funny because they're going in circles. They're like,
the kids have allergies, and she's like, well, I just
don't think it's fair because I think that Lemons should
have her dog friends. And they're like, the kids have allergies,
and she's like, well, I want the dogs to all come,
and they're like, well, they can't happen because the kids
have allergies.

Speaker 1 (25:24):
And then it's like, well, what about you guys leaving
during my party? Well you leave during our thing?

Speaker 2 (25:28):
Yeah, well but you don't like stupid. Honestly, you guys
need to stop like coddling her. She doesn't need her
dog mom Day. I'm actually annoyed at her now. I
don't know.

Speaker 1 (25:40):
Her suggestion was to just let the kids that are
allergic stay home and their moms can do something with them.
In the evening, our friends said leaving kids out of
Mother's Day wasn't possible and that we already do monthly
things together. Layla included that the kids are left out
and Layla gets to bring Lemon to most of those things.

Speaker 2 (25:59):
My god, Literally they're talking to her like she's a baby. Yeah, Like, Leyla,
we already do things together. She's like, what dogs, just
leave your kids at home? And they're like, Layla, it's
Mother's Day. We can't leave our kids at home, and
she's like the mother, I'm a mother to a dog.

Speaker 1 (26:14):
Well, Sophie, you know what Layla and Lemon could do together.
They could listen to full episodes with stories just like this.
They all you have to do is just go to Spotify,
Apple Podcasts, or whatever your favorite podcast app is and
looked for Okay storytime, there's one more relevant update. Do
you have any other thoughts besides just annoyance?

Speaker 2 (26:32):
Annoyance La, I'm just annoyed at Laila. Leayla is being
a baby. I love my dog so much, you're being stupid.
You're being stupid. You can love your dog and I'll
be stupid. But let's finish this story off.

Speaker 1 (26:45):
Layla said no, either Lemon gets accepted everywhere all the time,
Mother's Day included, or it's nothing. I then asked her
if she was really doing okay any of this had
to do with her ex remarrying. She got really mad
at that and left, So I'm going to guess yes,
We're going to give her space for now, but some
of the others aren't willing to hang out with her

(27:07):
anymore after she suggested leaving the kids out and comparing
the kids and Lemon. I'll still try to give her
support and have asked her family to keep an eye
at her see if they can talk to her. There
are some comments We've got. Comment number one, Layla seems
to have a my way or no way kind of attitude.
You all have apologized endlessly for her behavior. That's another thing.

(27:28):
They don't need to apologize for something that Layla's doing.

Speaker 2 (27:30):
Exactly.

Speaker 1 (27:31):
You have all apologized endlessly for her behavior, tried to
come to a compromise, and she still just walks out.
She's unwilling to listen and kind of comes off as
a bit of crazy with her demands. I might sound
like an a hole, but maybe not give her so
much spot Exactly, it's almost enabling her. I feel like,
if there's not a united front, she's going to think

(27:53):
her behavior is acceptable and it's not. She's going through
a hard time, but instead of talking out her anger
with a therapist, she's taking it out on your friend group.
And that's not there to anyone. Opie said. I couldn't
put our entire conversation into the post, but during our
conversation with her, she did say things that made it
clear a lot of this new attitude was coming from
her new friends from the doggy daycare.

Speaker 2 (28:15):
All the doggy daycare people are like.

Speaker 1 (28:17):
Oh, I've talked about them.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
Yeah, all of your friends aren't letting you bring your dog.
That's totally discrimination.

Speaker 1 (28:24):
And of course they're going to take the sides of
the dog. They're like all doggy daycare. Yeah, those friends
have family and other friends that will treat the dog
just like children, gifts, watching them clothing, car taking them
on trips, calling them niece, nephew, god dogs. And that's
what she wants and expects from us as well. So
I don't think a united front would work either. She's

(28:45):
around others who get this kind of acceptance and encouragement,
so when we say no, she's taking it as us
not supporting her. Another comment, Yeah, honestly, good on those
friends who don't want to hang out with her anymore.
She was ridiculous in your first post, and she's ridiculous. Now,
what are some of the good qualities she has as
a friend, because wow, Opie said, prior she was a

(29:06):
really good friend. Used to be the kind of person
you could talk to and she'd offer an outside box,
bigger picture perspective, which is so ironic.

Speaker 2 (29:13):
Yeah, that's so funny because she can't seem to.

Speaker 1 (29:15):
Do that for her now. Really kind. She didn't used
to be so dismissive of our friends with kids and
their kids. Good humor, smart, helpful, charitable, did a lot
of volunteer wors tried to cheer you up, compassionate and
open minded, appreciated their effort to minimize talking about their kids,
and was happy with it. How she's acting now is
not at all how she was when we were growing

(29:35):
up until all of this. Man that so man Leila
friends ault, she's a cult in the cult.

Speaker 2 (29:45):
Yeah, but that is the end of that story. Hey,
it's Sam, your og host.

Speaker 1 (29:50):
Here. We're gonna get back to the stories.

Speaker 2 (29:51):
But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My
oldest friend was unsupportive during a personal struggle, so I
cut her off.

Speaker 1 (29:59):
I guess the there is no such thing as friends
to the end anymore.

Speaker 2 (30:03):
Buckle up. This is a long one for context, Me
thirty seven female, and my oldest friend, thirty seven female,
let's call her Nancy, were born about a month apart
from each other. Our grandparents were neighbors, so we basically
grew up together. That's fun until now, I guess by
the way this comes from by guilt buy and if
you want to smit your own stories, go to our
slashooky storytime. Supured it. So although our grandparents lived in

(30:25):
the same building, we had a very different lifestyle and upbringings.
Neither of us were rich, but I grew up with
happily married parents who tried for a baby for seven years,
while her mom had her when she was nineteen and
was forced to marry her sorry excuse of a father.
She agrees with this part. I also had a very
stable life, while she moved around a lot, and her
only sense of stability came from her grandparents, who passed

(30:48):
when we were teens. Her mother was super strict and
wouldn't let her do anything, afraid she would repeat history.
Now to the story. Since very young, even before our
teenage years, my other friends always felt like Nan she
was in some sort of competition with me. She wanted
the same clothes, same toys, to study in the same schools.
But for me, this passed like regular child behavior, and

(31:09):
I think that up to that point I made excuses
because I knew how tough her life was. The First
time I really noticed that was when I decided on
a major and she immediately decided to major in the
same field. I understand that millions of people study the
same thing, and I'm fine with it. It was the
context threw me off, because we were planning for you
and I for a year, and not once had she

(31:29):
expressed interest in that field until I decided to go
for it. We ended up studying away together for a
few months, but then I changed majors and eventually transferred
universities altogether. I always said that my biggest dream was
to live abroad, and when she told me she also
had plans to leave the country, I was super excited.
I knew how hard her life was and whatever she
could do to get rid of those toxic people, she

(31:50):
should absolutely go for it. So she found an O
pair program and she left for Europe, and I truly
think that's when her life began. It was tough, as
it always is the beginning of moving to a different country,
and although I think it did her good in regard
to her family, on the other hand, she became extremely competitive.
At the same time, I was living in the US
in an exchange program, and I was living my best life.

(32:12):
I was a waitress and Americans tip super well, and
I won't lie. I was doing really well for myself.
My parents always gave me everything I needed, but that
was the first time that I could actually afford everything
I wanted. So I bought an iPhone, a MacBook, digital cameras, speakers,
all the electronics I could think of that are super
expensive in my country that I knew I wouldn't have

(32:33):
the chance to buy otherwise, and I traveled a lot
around the country as well. I love having the latest technology,
but I don't need it to be happy. If I
have the opportunity, sure, but it's not something I'll go
out of my way to get or spend money I
don't have, and I never was the one to show
what I have either, especially in my country where it's
not safe. So I kept my stuff pretty much to myself,

(32:54):
but for some reason, she would ask about it and
always make a snarky comment. Cut to the latest years.
She's been living in Europe for a few years. Already
she had a more stable job, met her husband, had
a baby, and life was good. I was and still am,
very happy for and the life she created for herself.
On my side, I moved to Canada about five years

(33:15):
after she moved to Europe. I struggled a lot for
the first few years. I was in a super toxic
relationship and money was also an issue because as an
immigrant it wasn't that easy to find jobs and although
I speak English fluently, I came to the one part
of Canada where I needed to learn French, which actually
I did. Yeah, moving to Canada. When where are they
originally from? Are they from the US? I don't think so.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
I don't think they're from the US, because yeah, because
it just that although Americans, yeah, Americans tip very well,
like as in the exchange program, and I couldn't get
the technology that we have in America in their home country.

Speaker 2 (33:49):
And also doesn't seem like they're from Europe.

Speaker 1 (33:50):
They're not from Europe. They're not from Canada, not from America.
So that I'm guessing maybe either an Asian country or
a Latin American country.

Speaker 2 (33:57):
Yeah, and possibly like somewhere where like family, because the
mom was like forced to Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:02):
Initially I was going to like attribute the competitiveness to
maybe cultural h but if within their own like community,
that sort of competition isn't seen as normal to their
own friends, I don't think that that's a cultural thing.
I think that maybe it is a competition thing. But
also like yeah, maybe by copying ope, like the friend

(34:22):
could have potentially associated op with like the good parts
of their childhood. Yeah, so they're trying to maybe capture
that sort of stability or maybe keep Opee in their
life for as long as possible, because it's like they're
chasing that source of comfort.

Speaker 2 (34:36):
Yeah. Yeah, So basically our buying power was reversed, maybe
for the first time ever, and everything that I would
conquer that I was excited to share with her was
met with something she did better. Today, after so many
years in Canada, my life is stable again. I met
my partner and we have a beautiful baby boy, and
I just avoid sharing if I bought something new or
if I got a promotion, and if it comes up

(34:57):
in conversation, I would try to diminish it's important so
it wouldn't be a source of competition. Last December, we
visited my in laws in Europe. When I was pregnant.
The year prior, we had plans to go spend a
part of summer with my in laws in the south
of the country, and because Nancy and her husband were
going to be in that country as well for an event,
we decided to spend one day together. I ended up

(35:17):
not being able to travel, so when I said I
was coming to Europe for Christmas, she decided to come
visit me. Mind you, I am a guest at my
in law's house. I cannot invite people over. She decided
to go on her own with her kid, who I
absolutely adore, by the way, and stay for five days.
And although I was very happy to see her, I
made sure to tell her that I wasn't even on vacation,

(35:37):
I was just working remotely. She still wanted to come,
bought the tickets, and then asked where she could stay.
I gave her my in law's address so she could
find a hotel or airbnb close by. She did not
like that, and from the moment she booked that hotel,
she felt entitled to have everything else paid for. Now
OPI literally said, like, I'm working. If you want to come, sure, Hm,

(35:58):
you decided to come, you have to be able to
pay for that. You can't just tell people to pay
for you.

Speaker 1 (36:04):
What do you define as a friend, like Sophia like,
ever since they split apart, I don't think that they
were friends.

Speaker 2 (36:09):
No, I agree, I think that they've been in competition.
It's like, I feel like you guys are friendly, but
I feel like that friendship is like it seems like
it's grown apart a lot and now it's just kind
of somewhat antagonistic in ways.

Speaker 1 (36:22):
If Opie has to hide what she's doing, what she's
buying from this former friend from Nancy, then that's not
a friendship anymore. You're regulating what they see. Yeah, a
friendship should be like supportive. This is not supportive at all,
not at all.

Speaker 2 (36:38):
When we arrive, my son immediately started showing symptoms of
a viral infection. Uh oh, he was feverish, wasn't sleeping,
wasn't eating. It was heck for four straight days. She
arrived one day after we did, and my mother in
law lent me her car to pick them up at
the airport that was about an hour away from the
city we were staying in. I told her about my son,
who's won by the way, and she's seen I'm sympathetic

(37:00):
because her son had the same virus when he was
a baby. But it turns out no, she demanded my attention.
Almost twenty four to seven. I was barely sleeping taking
care of a sick baby, and on top of that,
I was feeling guilty because she needed attention, and at
top of that, you're working. She did not go anywhere
without me and was not happy when I was late
for something. My in laws are very reserved people and

(37:21):
they wanted to be with family only since they don't
see us enough, So they were okay inviting her for
lunch one day, but they didn't invite her for anything else.
So I had to find activities for us without really
knowing the city either, and miss a bunch of time
away from my sick baby. I won't even mention work.
I know by the way Nancy talks about her mother
in law that she feels entitled to rule their house

(37:41):
because they live together different floors, which is not my problem.
You deal with your mother in law the way you
think is best, but I respect my in laws and
I would never act that way in any circumstances, but
especially not towards them or my parents for that matter.
Also important, me and my partner had some considerable issues
with one of our properties and we had to spend
and basically all our savings to fix the place. I

(38:02):
was on maternity leave for a year and my salary
was cut to less than half. The only reason we
were able to travel is because his parents paid for
the tickets for us to come for Christmas. Little context here,
we don't own multiple properties. We both had our respective
apartments when we met, and when I got pregnant, we
decided to move to a bigger place, but rent the
other apartments instead of selling them. She knew about all

(38:25):
the issues we were having, and she still expected me
to pay for almost everything. And I'm going to list
some of the things that happened here. I paid for
all the ubers back and forth from places we visited
that amounted to over one hundred and fifty euros. I
paid for coffees, desserts, pastries, at least not for four meals.
She didn't offer it out with gas at all for
my mother in law's car when I picked her up
at the airport. She also spent over one hundred euros

(38:48):
on cheese and wine to bring back home, but never
got anything to share with us or my partner's family
when she was invited for lunch. She went out for
lunch with the family one time, me, my partner's parents,
and our son, and when the waiter asked how to
do the bill, she didn't offer to pay her part
at all, and my partner had to pay for them.
The last night she had a mid morning flight, she

(39:08):
still didn't know how to get to the airport the
next day and expected my mother in law to lend
me the car again, which wasn't happening because it was
the last Saturday before Christmas and she needed the car
to pick up stuff she had ordered from the market. Also,
it's her car and she does whatever she wants with it.
If you're the one traveling, figure out your own plans.
But guess what, she wanted me to rent a car
to driver to the airport.

Speaker 1 (39:29):
There's a fundamental respect issue.

Speaker 2 (39:31):
Yeah. I mean, just the fact that she's kind of
encroaching on op and her family's plans for seemingly Christmas
is pretty wild.

Speaker 1 (39:39):
I feel like Nancy feels entitled to Opie's time because
they grew up to you.

Speaker 2 (39:43):
Yeah, She's like, oh, well, I'm taking the time to
come visit you, so you have to come hang out.

Speaker 1 (39:47):
Yeah, And like I think she sees it as like
an inconvenience to her. Yeah. I think that there's a
chip on Nancy's shoulder because she did grow up with
such a hard life and now was like doing a
better herself. Yeah, so I feel like she's maybe not
one hundred percent intentionally, but it's kind of lording it.
I think sound op yeah in somewhere for yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:08):
I was lucky enough that the city we were staying
in was so little that every car rental needed a
European driver's license, and not all European countries were accepted,
so neither of us could rent a car there. But
I found her train tickets. The train station was an
eight minute Uber ride from her hotel. She would arrive
with plenty of time to get an Uber and go
to the airport, which was another twenty minutes. She was

(40:28):
upset because she would have to wake up earlier than
she planned, but accepted. Oh my god. I cent her
the train options and the linkfer to buy them, and
her answer was you can buy the extensive one, and guys,
I did. She's not even bag for anything. Dude. I'd
be like, oh sorry, I can't do that, and just
a response. Not only that, but the next day I

(40:49):
woke up super early, got uber, picked them up at
the hotel, chop them off at the train station, and
took an Uber back to my in laws. Now you
must be thinking what if me, and you're right, But honestly,
I was so exhausted because of my baby and the
lack of sleep that all I wanted was for them
to leave. I could not come up with the energy
to do anything else. And it's not about the money. Obviously,

(41:10):
I'm worried about the money because I don't have much
right now, but it's more about the principle, because if
I had the money, I wouldn't care about paying for her.
In fact, I've done it several times before when I
knew I was in a better position. I'm still very
upset about that. But there were also some other messages
and comments that really threw me off, like her buying
a super expensive running smart watch and she doesn't even run,

(41:30):
but I have one my parents gave me for my
birthday because I do run. Another trying to warn up.

Speaker 1 (41:35):
Yeah, we're going back to the copying of what she has. Yeah,
even when she's doing better, Yeah, she's still trying to compete.

Speaker 2 (41:42):
Wh are you acting like this? One day I woke
up to a message, completely unsolicited, asking me if she
could consider changing her upcoming trip to our home country
tickets to premium because it was only five hundred euros more.
Oh my goodness. By the way, you can listen to
premium full episodes of stories just like this. Just go
to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search up. Okay,

(42:04):
straight time, but there is a little bit left insane
that this woman was like, OK, can you pay five
hundred dollars for me please?

Speaker 1 (42:11):
I think part of it stems from Opie saying that
she's done it before. Yeah, she's paid this before.

Speaker 2 (42:17):
She keeps doing it. I mean, she did it with
the Uber, she did it with the train tickets. She
just keeps letting her friend quote unquote get away with
all of this, and so her friend's just gonna keep
taking money until you put your foot down.

Speaker 1 (42:29):
I feel like part of it might be like just
a feeling since they did grow up together. Yeah, maybe
it's a feeling of protectiveness like that. Maybe possibly, Yeah,
she said, shows recognized that Nancy is not from the
best of backgrounds, and like friends tend to be protective
of each other.

Speaker 2 (42:46):
Yeah, but at this point they're not friends anymore. No,
just no, like she's just a person you've known for
a really long time. There is a little bit left
to this story. I just answered, if you have the money,
why not. But inside I was screaming like come on,
and I couldn't have contributed to one uber ride one coffee,
not even asking to pay for me, just yourself and
your son. I think she's saying that she's gonna pay

(43:08):
the five hundred euros, but OP is upset because she's like,
if you had the money to pay for a premium ticket,
why were you asking me to pay for everything? Which
is still yeah, the issue was still the same, but
just slightly just.

Speaker 1 (43:19):
I read it as she was asking OP to bump
up their tickets. That's what I thought, to the premium
because they're only five hundred more.

Speaker 2 (43:27):
Which is also crazy because instead of just doing that,
she's telling Ope that she has the money. She's like, yeah,
I'm gonna pay five hundred euros more.

Speaker 1 (43:34):
Mm hmm. It's rubbing it in her face.

Speaker 2 (43:36):
Yeah, I've thought about talking to her before cutting contact,
but I'm not confrontational. If it wasn't obvious, I'm a
people pleaser. It was very obvious, and I know she
would get defensive because one dime I disagreed with her
and she got really pissed and I'm too tired to
go there. Am I the ale for wanting to go
low contact? No, honestly, it should have been low contact

(43:57):
years and years ago. Like I feel like you just
keep letting her kind of come back into your life
and exploit you for money. But that is the end
of that story.

Speaker 1 (44:06):
Hey, it's johniog host here. We're gonna get back to
the stories, but here's a quick three minute break of
ads from our sponsors. I supported my friend during her struggles,
but she didn't do the same for me. Dropper, Just
like that, like a hopit dropper, She's gone. Hi, I'm
twenty seven female. I apologize for any grammatical mistakes, as
English is not my first language. This is my first post,

(44:28):
and I hope people don't be too rough. I also
sometimes think what I did was wrong, but it's been
one and a half years and now I just want
to get it off my system. By the way, this
comes from Lost Visit six eight niney five and if
you want to submit your own stories, go to our
slash storytime Separate it. So, now coming to the topic.
I met my then best friend let's call her Sia

(44:49):
a decade ago in twenty fifteen. I went to my
maternal house for graduation and that's where I first met
her in a tuition class and we instantly clicked.

Speaker 2 (44:57):
A tuition class. I don't tuition class I've.

Speaker 1 (45:00):
Never heard of that. She had a very outgoing personality,
is very pretty, and lots of guys used to dote
on her. But one thing I must mention is that
she was a bit should I say, naive. She had
a key headphone, couldn't understand memes, and didn't know about corn.
I was the one who introduced it to her. Over
our seven years of friendship, I taught her everything, how

(45:24):
to create boundaries, be polite, feel confident, and so many
other things which I'll explain later. You're like her mentor
you're her lifeline.

Speaker 2 (45:32):
Yeah, you're her life coach.

Speaker 1 (45:33):
Honestly, really, that's not your job. You're not her mother. Yeah,
I've created a new personality for her which is somewhat
similar to me. Oh, I don't like that.

Speaker 2 (45:42):
It feels like clueless.

Speaker 1 (45:43):
Yeah. Yeah, they don't have the closet though. Yeah, it
seems a little bit like it probably was unintentional because
she's teaching her all these things in.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
Mind and she's just kind of mind.

Speaker 1 (45:51):
Yeah, and I think it feels like it's unintentional that
she made like a mini version of.

Speaker 2 (45:56):
They go out into the world. Yeah, they seem a
little codependent. Mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (46:00):
She used to live in a fairy tale and had
little experience in practical life. Even though people were using her,
she would let them. She's from a very conservative but
wealthy family from the countryside, and her father was one
of those people who pushed for a son. Oh that's sad.
They have three sisters, and her father stopped only because
her mother couldn't take it. There's that toxicity. Anyways, when

(46:23):
I first met her, people used to gossip about her
because she broke up with one of our seniors. It
was a small town. She was a pretty young lady,
so people loved to gossip. Anyways, me and another friend
backed her up and told people off on her behalf
and everything was going fine. We told her she should
take some time off from dating, but she started dating

(46:43):
behind our backs. That's a weird way to phrase it.

Speaker 2 (46:46):
D Yeah, behind your backs, you're not again, she's allowed
to do whatever she wants, not her mother.

Speaker 1 (46:51):
She's allowed to date. And like, maybe she didn't want
to tell you because maybe.

Speaker 2 (46:54):
You guys were a little bit You're like, oh, she's nice.
You don't understand. I think you're treating her kind of like, Yeah,
she isn't fair. She's a lot to date people.

Speaker 1 (47:02):
She used to live in a PG and her roommates
kind of pushed her, as she said to me, so
she hid it from me and told me months later
because her boyfriend was afraid that I would say no.
I take care of myself pretty well, so people don't
cross boundaries. Maybe that's why, even if they gossip behind
my back, they don't have the guts to say in
front of me. I didn't mind much because we weren't

(47:22):
exactly best friends. The day she told me about the guy,
I knew they would eventually break up, mostly because she
was way out of his league, and they also have
different casts, which is a big deal in India. Okay,
I can kind of see all or part of this
is coming from. On one hand, it's also kind of
like it's upsetting to me. It's like, oh, I knew
you were going to break up from the beginning.

Speaker 2 (47:41):
Which is also where I'm like a little bit thinking
maybe OP is somewhat of an unreliable narrator, because it
seems like they're falling into this thinking of like the
cast system, right, They're like, oh, well, he's done in
the cast, so he's not he's not worthy of dating
this girl, it's like okay, it's.

Speaker 1 (47:57):
Also incredibly like peppered with judgment. So this is not
an objective view, and it's not even they're not trying
to be objective. I think they are trying. They're venting.
Plus her parents would never accept him, and that's a
story for another day, and that's also juicy. Things went
smoothly and we didn't study at all during our first

(48:17):
year and had a great time hanging out, all three
of us. But things started to go downhill when exams came.
We didn't have semesters and had only one exam at
the end of each year. That's a lot of pressure. Yeah,
one exam. If you failed even one subject, you'd have
to repeat in a year. So I barely passed, Sea failed

(48:38):
and her boyfriend got very good grades. She had a
hard time dealing with her father, and we promised to
study hard. Here's one thing. I don't have an outgoing personality,
and during those years even less. So I don't like
sharing my problems with people unless we have a very
good bond, because if they don't listen properly, I feel
hurt and don't want to share anymore. During my final

(49:00):
year of high school, I started dating my ex who
was very toxic and had a lot of issues. I
was having a hard time and planned to break up
with him. During that time, I also met my now
fiance Blush Blush like as unreliable and kind of toxic
as their narration is. It's fun, It's fun.

Speaker 2 (49:19):
It's like blush flush.

Speaker 1 (49:21):
Cia was a good friend to me and supported me
throughout my breakup and starting a new relationship in twenty seventeen.
After the second year results twenty seventeen, I became the
top of my class, but Sia barely passed first year.
She was genuinely happy for me, and I supported her
as much as I could with notes in all for
the second year. After my final year, I moved to

(49:42):
a new location to prepare for the civil exams. Cia
was in that town, but her boyfriend also moved to
the same city as me because it's the capital city
of our state. I moved to a PG.

Speaker 2 (49:54):
PG is a rental accommodation where in a person has
to pay a specific to live with the property and
share facilities being offered with other people living house. There
are pgs where you can share your facilities in space
with one, two, or more people. Yeah, so it's just
shared living.

Speaker 1 (50:09):
It's kind of like a cold yeah. See. It was
a bit jealous, and she would also post pictures with
others that would make me jealous. My fiance would often
laugh and say, she's my girlfriend. I'm sorry. It's already
gotten long, but I haven't started the main story yet.
These are all the factors I want you all to know.
I have a personality of out of sight, out of mind.

(50:29):
I'm really bad at keeping in touch with people. But
for her, I tried my best and planned a surprise
visit to my college town for her birthday. She was
very happy and the problems we were having resolved. But
just after a few months, her second year result came
October of twenty eighteen and she had failed. She didn't
have the courage to share it with her parents and
pretended to take preparation for the third year because if

(50:53):
her father knew about it, he would marry her off
to someone. We're from India, so things like these are
pretty common. She called me trying sharing all of this,
and the only thing I could say to her was
to pretend to complete her third year twenty nineteen March
to April, and then come to our city so me
and her boyfriend could help her find a job and
she could pursue distance education. Okay, this is very this

(51:15):
seems very dire for Seer. Yeah, Like, I feel like
Opi is trying to be a good friend here mm hmm, but.

Speaker 2 (51:20):
It might end up like that Sea relies on her
too heavily. I mean, we already know that she has
a history of that, so and Ope kind of encouraging
that reliance.

Speaker 1 (51:29):
And if something goes wrong, then there might breed resentment
on either side.

Speaker 2 (51:33):
Line.

Speaker 1 (51:33):
Yeah, Opie would be like you didn't take my offer
for help seriously enough, or Si it could be like
you didn't help me enough.

Speaker 2 (51:40):
Yeah, see what happened.

Speaker 1 (51:41):
I arranged by PG and also the coaching center that
I was studying at for her father, so she had
an alibi. But I wasn't there the day she came,
as I had to visit my hometown. She was frankly
in a very bad state with all the stress. We
would talk for hours about what we could do about
the situation, and I would even stop talking with my fiance,
say so she didn't feel alone?

Speaker 2 (52:02):
What wait, sorry, she's jealous of your relationship with your fiance,
so she's like, it'd be better if you just like
didn't hang out with him or talk to him, so
that you know, I don't feel alone because I don't
have a relationship.

Speaker 1 (52:13):
However, her boyfriend was not supportive during that time at all,
and she started thinking about breaking up with him. But
after a couple of months, I had to move back
to my town because my brother, who was financially supporting me,
couldn't do so anymore. It was sad, but I didn't
have many options left. After two to three months, I
cracked one of the preliminary rounds, so one of my
maternal uncles allowed me to stay in their empty apartment.

(52:36):
We started visiting each other's places often, but then the
pandemic hit we all went back to our homes. It
was hard for Sea to live with her family, and
all her accumulated stress also led to seizures.

Speaker 2 (52:46):
O no break man.

Speaker 1 (52:49):
Nothing is going right for this now. Geez, And now
we have a story talking about her.

Speaker 2 (52:55):
Yeah, yeah, now all of her troubles are posted on Reddit.

Speaker 1 (52:59):
Thank you Internet. She had to eat at a certain
time or she might get seizures. We didn't talk much
during that time. We rented a one. It looks like
a one bedroom. I'm guessing ONEBHK one bedroom. In February
of twenty twenty one and started living together. I would
cook meals on time so she never had an empty stomach.
But one day it took me longer because we had
a hangover and she had seizures.

Speaker 2 (53:19):
Well, that's not your fault. She should be feeding herself out.

Speaker 1 (53:21):
Yeah, she should ow.

Speaker 2 (53:22):
To take care of herself.

Speaker 1 (53:23):
She knows it's good that you're helping her, Yeah, but
that is ultimately her responsibility. Yeah, she knows she's having
this seizure, she knows she needs to eat, so that
at that point is on her exactly. I was so afraid.
Contacted her sister who's a nurse, and followed her instructions.
After that, I would always look after her and come
home so she's not alone. We also planned our dream vacation,
which we had planned since twenty fifteen. I forgot to

(53:46):
mention we made a plan, and she convinced her father
and applied to a course in hospitality management and December
twenty twenty, during her first exam, she was so nervous
that she was literally shaking. I had to help her
take photos and make a PDF of her answers. It
was an online exam. She later told me she was
planning on self harm but couldn't. Hearing that broke my

(54:06):
heart and I made her promise to never think of
something like that ever. Again.

Speaker 2 (54:10):
That's so sad because like, I understand what he's trying
to do, but that is not the way to help.
I mean, like, it's not your small again. You were
not equipped to help her in that moment. But that's
like based on OPE, it just tells people to not
think about it, right, It doesn't work based on OP.

Speaker 1 (54:22):
He's telling like they're doing everything that they can.

Speaker 2 (54:25):
Yeah, they just don't have the you know.

Speaker 1 (54:26):
Yeah, it's it's not high responsibility to fix see his
situation and their mental.

Speaker 2 (54:32):
Health, and they've been trying, like their whole friendship to
do this.

Speaker 1 (54:36):
She also broke up with her boyfriend during that time
of April twenty twenty one. I would often say bad
things about my fiance, like we're not happy, or he's
also not understanding even though he is, Oh, this is
not good. Don't lie about your fiance, But he understood
and didn't say anything. Sadly, the second phase of the
VID started and we had to move back to our
hometown again. She had to deal with her breakup alone.

(54:59):
I tried to I call her as much as I could.
We would speak three to four hours a day. She
was in better shape than before, but pleaded with me
to move with her again because her college started. She
was not confident living with others and afraid of letting
her college roommates know her age. But I motivated her
to get rid of her insecurities and if someone wants
to be her friend, they would to be honest. I

(55:20):
didn't have any reason, but I convinced my parents that
i'd take preparations and also find a job to support myself.
I found a job in December twenty twenty one. She
didn't come on the day and arrived much later. We
rented in the same building, but on a different floor,
so I had to move everything by myself. In October
twenty twenty two, she started dating a guy many years
younger than her. She was twenty five twenty six and

(55:41):
he was twenty twenty one. He was the first person
she shared her secrets with, aside from me, her ex
and my fiance. I supported her because I believe it
will help her regain some of her confidence. Do you
think that that's too big of an age gap, like
twenty twenty one versus twenty five to twenty six. It's
a little bit.

Speaker 2 (55:58):
As a twenty three year old, I wouldn't date a
twenty two years old. But I don't think twenty five
and twenty one is crazy because I think, I mean,
you're out of college.

Speaker 1 (56:08):
But part of it is that they're starting college again,
both of them at the same time. Yeah, So it's
like there's I do there's a lot of a kind
difference there, but they're still kind of in the same
stage of life.

Speaker 2 (56:17):
It's not like thing I think stages life.

Speaker 1 (56:19):
She graduated and he's still in school. Yeah, they are
starting over again, Yeah, kind of together.

Speaker 2 (56:25):
Yeah. I don't think this is crazy.

Speaker 1 (56:26):
Okay, that's where her problems started. She started getting obsessed
with him. No, her life finally started to flow. She
met new friends who were four to five years younger
than me and her, and she spent more time with them.
As I mentioned earlier, I don't have an outgoing personality,
so I was a bit insecure. I'm not gonna lie,
but I didn't say so. I let her enjoy her

(56:47):
life after so many years of stress and anxiety, as
a good friend should do. During our time in the
new home, I would cook and she would clean the dishes,
but she would never clean the room. Most of the
time she would go home or stay at one of
her friend's houses. I was actually having a rough year
in twenty twenty two. My new job was pretty stressful,
and I would often suffer from something. One time, she

(57:08):
knew I had a fever. She was staying out that night.
The next day she came to our room, took her things,
and went back to her friend's place. She asked me
if she should stay. I said no, because her friend
was waiting for her. I'll never forget that day. Wait, what,
I think maybe OP expected her to take care of her.
She said no, But I think that was like that no,
don't live.

Speaker 2 (57:29):
Yeah, but okay, that's so childish to be like, it's no,
but you should.

Speaker 1 (57:34):
Stay you have a fever. I I want to get
your fever exactly help you. But like, I don't want.

Speaker 2 (57:39):
To do that. I mean, she offered to say, and
you said no. It's like if you wanted her to say,
or you needed help.

Speaker 1 (57:45):
Don't play the game, Yeah, don't play.

Speaker 2 (57:46):
Don't be a coy and like, you know.

Speaker 1 (57:48):
If you need the help, ask for the help.

Speaker 2 (57:49):
What do you mean You'll never forget the day? She
hasn't do anything wrong, and that's.

Speaker 1 (57:52):
I think culturally there might be a thing of against
asking for help. I cried the whole night and confronted her.
We made up. That's what I cut to. March twenty
twenty two. She was in her second year and had
to do internships. She didn't have much formal clothes, so
she would wear mine. I would wake up at seven
to make our lunch, so we'd eat at least one
home cooked meal. I would do all the grocery shopping,

(58:15):
buy dinner, handle our landlord bills, and almost everything, which
was hard because we were supposed.

Speaker 2 (58:20):
To split it.

Speaker 1 (58:21):
It was little things, but they had a big impact.
She would come to me if she had any problems,
otherwise spend her times with her new friends, like one
day she had to take ivy drops in the midst
of her internship at a hospital and I went to
release her as her guardian. Another time, she lied to
her supervisor that her eldest sister had an accident who
didn't even exist, and put me on a call without.

Speaker 2 (58:43):
Context, that's actually gonna find that.

Speaker 1 (58:46):
There's also another day she had a seizure when me
and my fiance were having a date. See, I don't
mind doing these for her, but after a certain time
it felt one sided. She would even copy things me
and my fiance did as a couple, like are intimate
moves that I have shared with her, or some cute
photo and share or showed to me, which felt creepy
because she was not like that before. I feel like she's.

Speaker 2 (59:07):
Beings like your whole life.

Speaker 1 (59:10):
Yeah, you're like at this one your sister's Yeah.

Speaker 2 (59:12):
You literally you shaped her, You formed her into you.

Speaker 1 (59:15):
You introduced her to non TOUCHTNE telephone, and corn and corn.
I had a very hectic nine hour job with minimal pay,
so I wanted to sleep earlier at eleven PM to
wake up early. But she would talk to her new
boyfriend and take a long time to make the bed,
which irritated me. Plus she would talk to her boyfriend
for hours at night.

Speaker 2 (59:33):
Keeping oh they're in the same room. I'm just like
what okay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:36):
Things went like this for a few months, and then
she said she wanted to move to a new place
for her studies. I said, fine, because I was also
getting tired. She wanted to have her own room and
tried to convince me to rent a two bedroom with her. Frankly,
I didn't have the money, so I said no, and
I just moved back to my old PG. She couldn't
find any rooms and decided to rent the room next

(59:58):
to hours. One month later, I got a new job
with a much higher salary and decided to stay in
my room because the PG said they didn't have any
empty beds. Anyway. We planned our vacation with me, Sea,
her sister, and her college friend because obviously I don't
have friends who would go with me on a trip.
You have, Sia, you have?

Speaker 2 (01:00:15):
What about?

Speaker 1 (01:00:16):
Where is your fiance?

Speaker 2 (01:00:17):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:00:18):
What happened to him? Why won't he go on his dream?

Speaker 2 (01:00:20):
Here? Is he?

Speaker 1 (01:00:21):
Does he even exist?

Speaker 2 (01:00:22):
Yeah? If he's like yeah, Sea told me to stop
hanging out with him. You know, I haven't seen him
in a while.

Speaker 1 (01:00:27):
He was in her head all alone. We went on
our dream vacation on December tenth. On the last day
February fourteen, which is Valentine's Day, after I got on
the train, my dad called me and said my brother
got into an accident. And broke two bones above his wrist,
but the doctors couldn't perform surgery due to his high
blood sugar levels. February fifteen was Sea's birthday. I was

(01:00:48):
panicking and she tried to support me. We went to
sleep and we celebrated her birthday on the train as
best as I could. I couldn't sleep that night, and
after we arrived, I called my dad to confirm if
everything was fine, then took a few hours of sleep.
See his boyfriend and sister had planned a small party
for her and asked me to participate. I was not
in the mood, but I still went to the room

(01:01:10):
next door and stayed the entire time. At my new job,
I explained my situation and said I would have to
take a few more days off. Then I went back
home to see my brother the next day and stayed
there for the next two days. His sugar level was
still high and the doctor could not operate during those
two days. Everyone like those I don't often talk to,
spoke to me and asked about my brother's well being,

(01:01:31):
But my best friend only asked if I could explain
to her how her sister could go to a particular location.
Are they best friends in now or are they not
best friends?

Speaker 2 (01:01:39):
And I don't know. You said would beginning your warm
up friend, but maybe like by this time they have
to be they have to Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:01:45):
Yeah, I was just shocked and said no and hung up.
I was so tired and just didn't want to talk
to her. I didn't even after coming back, she approached
me and I just said pleasantries and that was it.
You somehow understood and stopped talking to me completely, to
the point where she would shut the door even if
she saw me. Anyways, I was feeling pretty sad and
thought of making up. On my birthday. She posted a
photo of me saying how I was a good friend

(01:02:08):
to her in one of the best things for me.
So I thought of sharing my birthday cake with her
through my landlord. She rejected it. By the way, you
don't have to reject this offer because you can listen
to full episodes of stories just like this. Just go
to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app and
search Okay, Story of Time. Unfortunately, it doesn't come with cake,
which you can reject through your landlord. Yeah, there's another

(01:02:31):
relevant update here, but let's take a minute to I
just dissect this.

Speaker 2 (01:02:35):
I think they're both that at communicating. Mm hmm. I
feel like they both made mistakes on either side of
this long friendship, right, and I think, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:02:46):
I think that they're just kind of neither of them
has made truly terrible decisions. Yeah, like they haven't made
the best decisions.

Speaker 2 (01:02:52):
Exactly, I think. And they're just codependent.

Speaker 1 (01:02:54):
Yeah, they're just being human. Yeah, Like, no one, I
don't think anyone here is really at fault.

Speaker 2 (01:02:58):
No. I feel like I I could say, like everyone
kind of a little bit here, but no one's really
No one's like an a hole anybody. Yeah, I don't
think anyone's an a hole. Or I think they're just
like not really great friends in terms of just like
they're friends, but they're just not good at being friends.

Speaker 1 (01:03:15):
They're good friends, yeah, but they're not good to each
other exactly. They are moderately okay to each other. Yeah,
I couldn't take it anymore. I made a recording of
everything I've done for her and how selfish she is,
used some bad words as well, and cut her off
from my life. Oh yeah, yeah, this is so extra. Yeah,
there are a lot of things I didn't mention but
did for her, doing twenty nineteen to twenty twenty three

(01:03:37):
because my hands are tired. Let me know if anyone
wants to know more. I would like to know more.
So Am I the a hole for breaking off a
friendship over my brother's accident?

Speaker 2 (01:03:45):
I don't know. Seems like you guys just never have
conversations about these things, Like you had that one conversation
where you were like you didn't stay when I was sick,
and that and every other time you've both just like
held it in and not talked about. Yeah, but that
is the end of That's Torri

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