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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I refuse to share a wedding with my sister. Now
the whole family is upset. Sister, am I the a
hole for refusing to share my wedding day with my sister?
I twenty seven female, have wanted to be married to
my fiance, twenty eight male for years, and we finally
started planning our big day. However, my sister, twenty five females,
(00:21):
suddenly announced plans for her own wedding on the very
same day.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Ooh boy.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
By the way, this comes from I love frogs and
dogs on our slash okay storytime separate it. So I
was shocked and hurt, especially since she never showed any
interest in marrying her partner before. Is that your shocked
and hurt face? Yes, I'm imagining ope perfectly. Really paint
a picture. I told her it's wrong for her to
try and share the spotlight, but she insists it's a
(00:49):
coincidence and she didn't know. My fiance and I have
been together for five years and it was always clear
that a big wedding was my dream. I've planned every
detail from the venue to the dress, making sure it's perfect.
My sister's sudden plan made me feel like she's trying
to overshadow me on my special day. Everyone keeps suggesting
that we merge the weddings, but I can't.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Stand the idea of sharing the spot light.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
I tried to talk it out with her, but she
dismisses my feelings and says, I'm being selfish. I just
want one day that's all about me and my partners.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
That so much to add impossible, you can't have it.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
My sister has always been the golden child. Everything has
come so easily to her. She has no idea how
much planning goes into a wedding, and suddenly she's claiming
to have everything arranged for the same day. I feel
like she's trying to take away my moment, the one
day I've been dreaming about for so long. Am I
the a hole for not wanting this to be my
(01:45):
own special day? Shouldn't a sister respect my feelings and
find her own day for her wedding. Yes, I've made
all the arrangements for my wedding day, including booking the fenders.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
The caterers, and my actual venue.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
I even talk to her husband, who was completely in
the dark about my sister's plans. I've put down significant
non refundable deposits, and changing the.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Date now would cost me a fortune.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Despite this, my sister insists that we share the wedding day,
dismissing all the effort and money I've insisted in making
it my dream wedding. She keeps saying we can merge
the weddings and have one big celebration, but I refuse
to compromise my vision for her sudden urge to get married.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
The thought of.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Sharing my special day with her, having to split attention
and resources feels like a nightmare. She claims it's a
coincidence that she picks the same date, but I can't
help but notice how convenient it is for her to
piggyback off all my planning. Her nonchalance over my hard
work and investments is infuriating.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Why does she need to do this on my day?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
My parents keep trying to reason with me, saying that
it would be practical and.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Efficient to have the siblings wedding on the same day.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
They keep pointing out the money that we could save
by combining the events, but they're missing the points.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
Yeah, I keep pointing out how dumb you are, and
you still don't get that.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
Now, No, Yeah, I've.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Been dreaming about this day since I was a little girl.
I don't want to.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Share with anyone, especially not my sister, who has always
overshadowed me. I want to be a center of attention
for once illegal My parents don't seem to understand the
importance of this to me. My partner tries to be
supportive but struggles to understand the depth of my feelings.
He thinks I'm being overly dramatic and should be happy
for my sister. He says it's just a day, but
(03:34):
to me, it's a lifelong dream. Saying it's just a
day to your wedding.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
You know what else is just a day your funeral?
There you go.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Despite my explanation, he seems more worried about not rocking
the family boat. He wants to keep everyone happy, but
I don't think he understands how hurt and overlooked eye feel.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
Who's going to care that they have two separate weddings,
That's what everyone expects.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
I feel like parents would know how big a deal
this is, and like, you know, like want this to
be two different days.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
It proves that the sisters are golden child like. It's
super clear.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Yeah, that is very true.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
I also wonder like what the parent's wedding was like
and if it was just like a courtroom thing or
something just like save money.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
I think these type of people they just they're able
to do such mental gymnastics that they just like convince
themselves through methods unknown.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
It's truly remarkable, it really is.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Second update, Wow, things have escalated after the whole wedding debacle.
My family seems to be taking sides. Several relatives have
actually chosen to drop out of my wedding and attend
my sisters instead. Even my maid of honor, the person
who's been on my side through all my wedding planning,
(04:47):
has decided to be a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding.
This feels like a slap in the face. It's not
just a date conflict anymore. It feels like an attack
on everything I had planned and hoped for. Now my
wedding feels like it's falling apart. All the planning, the
careful choices, the dreams for the perfect day, they're crumbling.
My family's support has vanished, and my closest friend, my
(05:10):
maid of honor, has turned on me.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
My fiance keeps trying to soothe me, saying it's not
the end of the world. But he doesn't get it.
Why does no one understand the importance.
Speaker 5 (05:20):
Of a wedding.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
Also, I don't know why I keep miss hearing words.
But I thought you said instead of soothed me. I
thought you said, sue me. You know, no, hope, he
spent through enough. But he's still saying it's not the
end of the world. We still have so much more
to this. But here's what I think should happen.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I think, op, he should be like, Okay, well, if
you want to have your own wedding and steal all
of our family guests to it, then you should pay
me back for all of the non refundable deposits I've
made for my wedding. Boom, there you go, win win.
She gets her money, she gets her wedding. I mean,
she also spends way more money, but that's on her.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
And then you she's gonna do it again, right because
she's crazy, So she's gonna do another wedding.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
And you're like, Okay, that all good.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
Just again, repay me all of the non refundable and
just bleed her dry.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
He doesn't see how betrayed.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
I feel how every happy memory I planned to make
on my wedding day is being overshadowed by hurt and disappointment.
And my sister, she just keeps talking about how perfect
her happy accident of a wedding is going to be,
her happy accident. She acts like she's the star of
a fairy tale and I'm just in the way. She
(06:31):
doesn't seem to care that my family is abandoning me,
that my wedding is crumbling. She's enjoying the attention, relishing
in the spotlight, and it's driving me insane. And the
worst part is people are rallying around her, congratulating her,
telling her how wonderful everything is. Meanwhile, my feelings and
dreams are dismissed.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
But John, guess what what? There is yet another update.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
I can't handle it neither, So.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Update number three. Things have gone from bad to worse.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
I was already before when OPI was like, somehow it
all got worse? I'm like, Opie, how can it get
positive get worse? Now you say that all goes back doors, Opie,
I don't know what is left that hasn't already gone wrong.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Not only has my family sided with my sister. But
now some of my extended family members have started commenting
on social media, calling me selfish and dramatic for not
letting my sister have the wedding on the same date.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
I still can't believe this is happening. My special day.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Is being ruined, and now people are turning on me
for standing up for what I want.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
It's infuriating my partner.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
My fiance has been a constant source of frustration throughout
this ordeal.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Yeah, because he was all like, it's just a day.
It's fine, you.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
May give me. That's not just a day. That's the
best day of your freaking life.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Yeah, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
He claims that he wants to support me, but every
time I express my disappointment or anger, he calls me
over dramatic and he tells me to just get over
it and move on, like I'm just being silly for
caring so much.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
We have had unreliable narrators before, where they spin a
whole tale and then someone's like, oh, I'm the sister
entering the chat, and actually the sister did this to me,
but she just wanted to like be like see or whatever.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
But I really hope that that's what happens. I really
hope there's another update and it's from the sister's perspective, but.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Let's see, he keeps saying that it's not that big
of a deal because we have our whole lives together afterward.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
But it's not just about the date.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
It's about feeling like an afterthought, Like my own sister
is stealing my moment.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
But you know who would never ever steal your moment
in the whole wide world? Woo us?
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Yeah, because you know why?
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Why Because we're live on YouTube and Facebook and TikTok
every single weekday and all you have to do is
tap our profile and you can join us.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
And that three PMPSD might I.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Act can't forget that.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
But yeah, there's a bit more. But what do we
think about the husbands right now?
Speaker 3 (09:01):
Divorce?
Speaker 4 (09:01):
Everybody divorce the husband, divorce the family.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
It's exactly what Opie said.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
It's like I feel like an afterthought, and it's like
this is your wedding.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I feel like.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
There's so many situations where you can be over dramatic
and like you can be like no, but like I
want this, you know, and like I want it to
be this way and everyone else is wrong and whatever,
this is your wedding, you know, it's like you you
deserve to say that you want to be the star
of the show.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
And like it's not even like Opie's like, oh, everyone
has to, you know, wear a giant marshmallow and we
have to like, I don't know, do this like dance
that makes us all sweaty. I don't know, like Opie's
just like I simply just want to have a celebration
that I don't have to split half of the attention
(09:51):
but realistically all with someone else. It is literally the
most basic necessities and these people can't even do that. Opie,
you need to divorce everyone, and Rue is f as
you can run away girl.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
As for my sister's husband to be, he seems completely
clueless about the drama unfolding around him. He is more
focused on his own interests and doesn't seem to see
the impact his fiance's actions are having. He is blissfully unaware,
going on about his day life while our family is
at each other's throats because of his bride to Bee's decision.
(10:23):
It's almost as if he's living in a bubble, ignorant
to the storm he has unknowingly contributed to.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
And that's it.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
That was painful.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Move to a new country, change your name, and then
you'll fall in love, just like all those like Hallmark movies.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Yeah, disactly.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
You can write a movie, become an amazing director, and
then I'm just seeing this whole life for you.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Go be a movie star.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
But that's the end of the story.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
My little brother is sec so I stopped talking him.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Boy bye for you see you later.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
So I eighteen female to male, have a brother fifteen
male who was always trying to be different in old school.
People like my grandparents like to say, oh, he's an
old soul, you know, one of those there's nothing wrong
with that. But he has the tendency to be really
misogynistic and sexist. By the way, this comes from deleted
on the r slash Okay storytime separated. So, for example,
(11:18):
when I came out as trans to the family, I
wasn't expecting a big thing.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
All I wanted was to be accepted.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
I didn't want a cake or party or anything like that,
and I didn't get one.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
A simple okay, if you need something, let me know
from my mom, and that was it.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
That was it.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
That's all you need.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
But my brother made a big deal out of it.
This was three years ago, and every week he asks me, oh,
you still a boy? Or are you like a helicopter?
Speaker 3 (11:46):
Excuse me, sir? Or what are you today?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
A fish or something? At first I thought he was.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Just being a brother and annoying me, but then I
realized the tone under it was actually pretty nasty. Also,
I am not exaggerating when I say every week. Now,
I could be overthinking it, but it doesn't stop there.
When I first got together with my boyfriend eighteen mail,
the first thing my brother said was, oh.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Does he know that you're not a real boy?
Speaker 3 (12:14):
He probably likes that.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Every time I bring home a friend, I get a
comment along the lines of are they like gender bending
or something? Or is that a real boy or girl?
And he says it like it's a disgusting thing. And
I can be looking too deep into it, but it's
getting old, and when I try to talk to him
about it, I get labeled as being.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Too woke, too sensitive.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
It's not like it's giving me mental breakdowns, but it's annoying.
What does hurt is the constant use of my dead name,
not just in public, situations.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
But home and literally everywhere.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
When I correct him, I get I'm not calling you that,
And he even.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Said the classic is just a phase.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Literally two days ago, when I corrected him on my name,
I got hit with.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Oh my god, another FWES girl.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
No, it's been the same for three years, and it's
not like I'm pushing it down his throat.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
I just want him to be respectful. I don't care
if he likes it or not.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
I don't care if he trashes me behind my back,
but I just want him to be nice to me
to my face for once.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Other than attempt to correct him every few months or so,
I just leave it so I don't cause a massive scene.
Plus I'm eighteen, he's fifteen. I'm hoping that if I
ignore it, heill mature. I know he's still developing, etc.
Up until last night, that worked. But I walked into
the kitchen to make myself some dinner, a toasty because
(13:39):
who the heck has time to cook a whole meal
at ten pm?
Speaker 2 (13:42):
And my brother literally out of nowhere for real.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
No one asks, starts talking about wanting to be amish.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
What's wait?
Speaker 3 (13:52):
What actually know? What? Go ahead? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, don't.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
So you see that like big old field over there
where there's like no people for one hundred of miles.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Yeah, go there, go ahead, Opie says he caught me
off guard. That caught me off guard. I was not
expecting that at all. But I just nodded and told
him that he would have to quit music and grow beard,
and also wouldn't be allowed to see the family again,
because as far as my limited knowledge of the homage goes.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
They have some pretty strict rules.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Anyway, I guess I didn't give him the reaction that
he wanted because he huffed and then started going on
about how Trump is amazing.
Speaker 4 (14:26):
Bro has such adhd, He's so add his bigotry had.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Stay focused on one topic of hate.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Bro, That's so true.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Now, I'm Australian and I don't know that much about
Trump because I'm just not educated enough. But I do
know that he hasn't been great for women's rights. Okay,
so they're brother and sister. If op is Australian, that
means that the brother is Australian. I didn't know that
Australians cared. I didn't know that there were followers, I guess,
and supporters of our politics in Australia.
Speaker 4 (14:57):
It's like so big, I guess, and like be such
a maniac that like I could see and he was
like a celebrity or whatever.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
So I was like, is when he like really bad
on women's rights and he was like, sort of, I
think that's good though.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Bro was like, yeah, I think it's great. I think
it's amazing.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
And I just blinked at him, like beautf and he
was like, don't even start. You're two woke women are
always pushing for things they don't need. How do you
have five sisters, a mother and two nieces and talk
like that?
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Good question, opie.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
And you know what, he shouldn't even have to have
all those amazing women in his life to know did
not be a.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Like just steady it right.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Anyway, I was so done with him that I just
shut my mouth and got my toasty and went to
walk down to my room. And he got mad and said,
oh my god, I just want to talk with my sister.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
You never talked to me anymore.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
I wonder why, what a mystery? What's this one?
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Gang?
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Anyway, I just turned around and told him to reflect
on the conversation we had and he hit me again.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
With the oh my god, you're so sunsyed and you're
too woke.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
So I just left and haven't talked to him since.
But that was only last night.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
So am I the A hole?
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Because I'm fully aware that I could be too woke
or sensitive or whatever.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
And I know I can't force him to accept my
gender identity. But it hurt that he blatantly called me
his sister. But it's not like I scream at him
for it or anything. So yeah, looking for opinions.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Also, yes, my parents my mother have talked to him
about it, but it's just not stopping.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
So yeah, there's a lot. Look, but what do we think?
Is he the A hole or not?
Speaker 4 (16:45):
Opie is not the a hole at all. Opie's freaking awesome.
And again, like Opie was like, Hey, I don't want
to like force people to You don't gotta throw a
parade for me, you gotta roll out all all he wants,
just a let's just be cool. Just just accept me,
accept my gender identity. That's all mask and force. It's
(17:09):
pretty easy. It's pretty simple. And yet the brother it's
a classic case of like of the people like oh, like, oh,
why you to celebrate. Why are pushing on my face?
Speaker 1 (17:20):
And it's just like I'm just existing, Like I'm just
chilling here.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
I'm just chilling. You're the one that's going all crazy.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Yeah, it's like that one meme that if you've seen it,
it's like, I'm just a chill guy that like wants
my brother to use my like pronouns, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Have you seen that chill guy meme?
Speaker 3 (17:37):
I haven't seen that.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Okay, well it's pretty funny. I'll show you later.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Yeah, definitely not the a hole because I kind of listen.
I don't want to be controversial, but I understand the
idea of being like too woke or something. And hear
me out because I don't know if that's like the
right words to use, calling it too woke. But I
do think that people on both sides just.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Get a little aggressive, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
It's like I think the opinions are like totally valid
and whatever, and I totally understand them and like standing
up for what you believe in and everything. I just
do think that some people are a little just like
harsh with it. Oh he's just existing with his TOASTI
and that's like it so we have little edits.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Okay, people, please stop attacking my parents. Well, attack my
dad if you want. I don't care.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
He barely parents as kids. But my mother is an angel.
She's doing her best and that's all I can ask for.
She has nine kids and she works. A lot of
her kids are grown now. But my brother is a handful. Obviously,
he's done other things that are more important than his
behavior towards me.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
I think he may be going.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Through a rebellious phase, which is lost on me because
I never actually had one. But my mother is exhausted,
and I don't blame her. My brother has been getting
himself into trouble for the past couple months and has
been acting like a total rat. He's got classic youngest
child syndrome, and it's worse.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
That he's the only blood boy.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
My father practically praises his bad behavior or waves it
off as boys will be boys, which completely undoes any
boundaries my mother sets down for my brother. Yeah, that's
a whole nother thing that can spark a whole other
conversation about that.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
Guess what this boy say, You can't. That's right, I'm
putting you in your place. Freaking stupid brother.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Also, yes, I hear some of you move out.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
Well.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Even though I have a job, I'm.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Still going through UNI and paying it off as well
as my car. I'm not in the financial situation right
now to just move out, but i will soon and
I'm saving money to get my own place with my boyfriend.
By the way, you always have a safe space with
us when you join us live on YouTube and Facebook
every weekday at three PMPSD.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Just taber profile. As for the trolls who think that
they're so funny talking smack in the comments, it's not working.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
I just want you to know that all it does
is make me laugh and then I to give a response.
One person called me a word joke's on you. That
turns me on.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
Opie's freaking awesome. I freaking love Opie, dude, slip it
on him.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
So yeah, if you don't like that, I don't have
a wang and still give off bigger, weener energy than
you feel, okay to just.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Scroll past get on out of here, boy.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
I'm sure that hand is better for more than just
wanking off. And which is the vibes that transphobes give off.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
That's that's crazy. Get them Opie anyway, live, laugh, love
or whatever. I don't know how to end this, and
there we go. That's the ending. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
Yeah, conclusion is yeah, I guess just like, yeah, move
out as soon as you reasonably can, like don't rush
and become homeless, but you know, just like get out
there and then you know, man.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Cut off the brother.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Yeah, my siblings ignored me for years, so I want
to go no contact with them by kind of sounds
like you already are. I'm wanting to mostly vent as
I am a recovering people pleaser.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Sorry, this is long.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
I sixty female, have an older brother seventy two and
a deceased brother who would have been sixty nine, an
older sister sixty seven, and a younger sister fifty two.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Big family all over the age board there.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
You would think at our age that we would have
been past the pettiness.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
But no.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
By the way, this comes from a non e mouse
band nerd on the r Sasha Okay storytime sub Breddit.
My mother passed two years ago and left us with
the house we grew up in to be split five
ways when it's sold. My deceased brother's share would be
split between his two children. My remaining brother is the
executor of my mother's estate. For context, my older siblings
(21:47):
have always treated my little sister and I like we
were idiots or at best small children. My little sister
would call me to complain and invent about them, her job,
life in general, but she couldn't be bothered to do
the same for me.
Speaker 4 (21:59):
Yeah, I'll complain to you, but when I need to complain,
I ain't got nobody to run to.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
If we were on a trip together, she would ditch
me for friends or just roll her eyes at any suggestions.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
That I might make.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
I often was alone, even in a foreign country, and
on my own for a dinner, excursions, etc. So I
was essentially the frequently forgotten, often maligned middle child. When
Mom passed, it was understood that my little sister, the
only one who was single and lived closest to Mom,
would move into mom's house and stay there for a year,
(22:32):
getting the house ready to sell. My little sister had
quit her teaching job to be our mother's caregiver the
last few years of her life.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
When Mom went into assisted living, my sister struggled finding
a job. Hers and mine is a niche teaching position
and took a sizeable pay cut to teach at.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
A private school.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Since she didn't have to pay rent and have some
money left in mom's account earmarked for upkeep of the house,
she could survive.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
For a year.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
We all agreed on a year. A year passes and
she's still in the house. She says public schools just
aren't hiring. I know this isn't.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
True, but she's picky about where she wants to live.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
I sucked it up and went wherever the jobs were
for my career. But that was me being the people pleaser.
When my parents were both alive, my husband and I
both retired. Had made plans to travel based on the
intent of my sister moving after the first year and
the house selling. When that didn't happen, we canceled our
plans to save money. As inflation and the cost of
(23:31):
living grew that second year, we had to cut more
things out of our lives, including selling a car. Meanwhile,
my little sister quit her job after the second year
in the house and was living on money that my
big sister was giving her. Oh my gosh, when we
asked about the sale of the house.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Over two years.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Since my mother passed passed due.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
We were met.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
By yelling, condescension and then silence. My husband sixty seven
and I reached out to my brother and he said
it was our own fault if we were having money troubles,
and again to not ask him about any personal stuff.
That's annoying. That's something I read in like another story earlier.
Was like, it's actually the same kind of thing happened
where it was like something with the will and then
(24:15):
someone was like given a lot less money in the
will or like left out of it, and then another
sibling was like, sorry, you're broke.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Sorry, you're not freaking rich like me.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
He said, it's our own fault if we have money troubles,
and to not ask him about any personal stuff.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Again. Huh.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
We had called him about whenever the house was put
up for sale. We had some experience with selling and
buying from Zillo. A realtor whom we thought was a
friend tried to buy our house from under us cheaply
and then sell out a profit whoa We went with
Zillo and said and made money. My big sister had
poo pooed our ideas and said that she would go through.
(24:54):
We knew a realtor too, but that didn't stop the
realtor from trying to cheat us.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
We said that if and when our.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Little sister moved out, we could house her until she
found a job, that we lived in a different part
of the state and there were jobs in her field
all around.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
It does sound like a good idea, although slight side
now it does seem like OPI has some real estate trauma.
Not all realtors are probably going to break your heart
like that, but you know, hey, I get it.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
Yeah, But that is interesting though too, because I do
get it in the way where it's like, well, like,
if the realtor snubs the sister, it's also snubbing all
the other siblings because they're all.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
Getting money, and that's also a difficult thing.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Is like, yeah, they agreed that she was going to
deal with it, but at this point, like, if they're
all getting equal pay for this, then I feel like
it'd be totally reasonable for someone else to just be like, hey,
I'm going to take care of this.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
I feel like it's more of a semantics or strategy
at that point. It's just like, hey, let's just freaking
sell the house.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
You know what I mean. But yeah, dude, that is
not good.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
In response to that, my big sister texted me five words, Nope,
not going to happen. That's so like aggress and vague
and like not gonna happen. That's the last communication she's
given me. She doesn't answer or return calls or messages.
Fast forward to over two years since my mother passed.
We have canceled two vacations, sold a car. Daughter in
(26:15):
college has to apply for loans to finish college, while
my sister has gone on trips, gone to baseball games,
and races, all while living by herself with two cars,
no rent, no job, and my big sister is bankrolling her.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Why why?
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Like?
Speaker 4 (26:31):
Also because the big sister, again, like you said, stands
to earn, gets a fifth of the house. Like, not
only are you, you know, lighting your money on fire
giving it to her, you're also losing the money from
the house.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
The house price was at an all time high back
in June. It has dropped seven percent in the last
thirty dates.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Oh no, that's bad.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
I feel like a lot of places, it could be
like two percent a year, So that's like years worth
of value lost.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
In a post, Oh my god, I recently found out
that my sister had gotten a job, but only through
mutual friends posting on Facebook.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
My little sister has muted me.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
I found out the house was for sale only because
I have it saved on Zilla.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
What I never got to go say goodbye to where
I grew up. That's the saddest part.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
And you know what, the most tragic thing of all
is she ended up doing the thing that Opie wanted
to do all along, putting it on Zilla.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Yeah, it was that easy.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
It is listed through my big sister's realtorm. Once again,
my advice was ignored. I have sold and bought houses
both in seven days time.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
That's quick. Doesn't take three years or almost three years.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
I have a feeling my mom's house is going to
linguish on the market. My brother has come up with
a number that he's not going to budge on.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
I like that between the two of them. My older
siblings think that they know more than my husband and me.
For what it's worth, my husband is an attorney and
has bought, sold, and built more houses than my brother
and sister put together. You got expert in the family.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Interest in the house has dropped off sharply since the
first week.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Today.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
I got one notification on Facebook where my little sister
moved and now everything is muted again.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
My husband is muted too.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
Wait you're telling me she unmuted you just so you'd see.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
Oh, I moved out, I sold and got rid of
the house and then remuted you.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
That is some petty baby.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
If we have to cancel next year's vacation a cruise
so there are deadlines involved, my husband is going to
be so angry. I'm to the point where if my
siblings act like I'm a nuisance, then I just won't
be there for them to be annoyed by. Every month
the house doesn't sell is interest we pay on credit
cards that we could have paid off if the house
(28:42):
has had just sold out a reasonable time. But you
know what I think is always a reasonable time? What
is three pm PSC? Which is time to join us
on live on YouTube, Facebook and TikTok every single weekday.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Just have a profile, bye babe.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
But it is more to the story. But I think
we need to take a breather. This is just like
do you think going no contact would be the way
to go?
Speaker 4 (29:07):
So the one big issue is we do have the house,
which it does seem like will solve a lot of
op's problems. Yeah, they have some finance problems that it
seems like three years ago, which also like I'm a
little bit like it seemed like three years ago.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
It is like, oh, i'm a lawyer, I sold the house.
With that, Oh I'm a lawyer, I sold I sold
the houses. And then I'm like, low key, where's your
ready to know? But that's okay, I won't judge. We listen,
we don't judge.
Speaker 4 (29:33):
I guess you could argue that like there's such idiots
they're just gonna do it on their own time anyways,
and it's not worth fighting it.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Honestly, I feel like that might be part of it,
Like you might have to just be like, you know what,
I've accepted it at this point, because I also want
to know how much they would actually get from the house,
Like at a certain point that money runs out and
it's a fifth, right, and so it's like it's not
an income that they would be getting. They would just
get like one dose of money, you know. But if
(30:00):
it's a lot, then it would be able to fund
you know, a lot of different things. And I mean,
I guess going on vacations isn't the only thing, like
they also have to, you know, put their daughter through
college and stuff. But I do just wonder like how
fast that would run out with everything that they've been
like missing out on.
Speaker 4 (30:16):
It sounds like it'll change their life as in like
the way they're having to live life right now.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Yeah, for sure, for sure, because now they're just like
scraping by. It sounds like I'm beginning to wonder if
my little sister is slandering me on Facebook as our
mutual friends have become cagey about her whereabouts.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Honestly, I don't care anymore.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
It's too much drama, and I know Mom would be
upset by the way we're all treating each other. I
want my family back, because we're all we've got in
this generation. But I've had it with this drama. Should
I just go no contact? They have my address, they
can just mail me the check if the house ever sells.
Speaker 4 (30:52):
I am going to say, as my final final answer,
to go no contact, because I think it sounds like
the five wayt split is what's in the will, but
there's no time, there's no date, there's no designated person
to take care of it. All everything else was after
so it's like and that's why you check out your
wills and all your contracts.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
But that's the end of that story.
Speaker 6 (31:15):
My girlfriend's sister is gonna stay in our house for
weeks without informing me.
Speaker 5 (31:21):
Girlfriend's sisters step says step Bro.
Speaker 6 (31:24):
I'm stuck in the dryer. So my mail thirty and
my partner, female twenty six, live in a country far
away from both of our families. We live in a
tiny one bed flat which is for all intents and
all purposes, a studio glass partition wall. It's pretty cramped
even for two of us. I also pay all the rent.
(31:45):
My partner covers food and a couple of bills, far
less overall, and far less over the course of our
relationship due to meat or inconsiderably more. My girlfriend has
spent a couple of weeks seeing said sister in another country.
Her sister is doing some traveling and then had planned
to come and stay with us. I've been given no
dates and wasn't asked if this was okay or even
(32:05):
how I felt about it. By the way, this comes
from user midnight space Owl seventy six on the r
slash Okase storytime separated it. So I was pretty stressed
out about it. I work long hours in a stressful position,
which includes once a week on average, fourteen hour workshifts
and two sets of night shifts, so needing to sleep
during the day during the time she plans to come.
(32:26):
I'm a very introverted person and value my free space.
I would have to go to the bathroom to get
changed because of that glass partition. Again, it's a very tiny,
cramped space. I eventually told her how I was feeling,
explained that I absolutely wanted her to spend time with
her sister, but asked that we consider another workaround. She
was disappointed, but seemed to understand to some extent.
Speaker 5 (32:47):
Okay, all right, respecting boundaries.
Speaker 6 (32:50):
Communicating your feelings.
Speaker 5 (32:51):
Opie's covering all the spaces.
Speaker 6 (32:53):
Here good today. Before she boards her flight home, she
tells me she's sad that she's crying, and I ask why,
because she's good to miss her family. I'm like, well,
you're going to see your sister in again in a
few weeks. To what she responds with a screenshot of
her and her sister talking about how upset they are
that they just wanted to spend time together, but since
I'm stressed, then they will have to just cut their
(33:13):
time short together and how much this sucks for them.
Immediately after she's offline and on her flight. They have
just spent two weeks off work together and her sister
is planning on traveling for three weeks alone before coming here.
She just got a promotion which is doubling her salary.
I feel that it is so important to spend time
together with her sister, she should sacrifice some of her
personal travel time and pay for her accommodation here, and
(33:35):
my girlfriend could contribute what she can also.
Speaker 5 (33:38):
A little Girl's place Airbnb.
Speaker 6 (33:40):
You want to enjoy your trip. I mean, I know
you want to spend time together, but you want to
enjoy your trip, not make everyone stressed out.
Speaker 5 (33:46):
No, P is workhorse.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
He needs his rest, he needs his nappies.
Speaker 6 (33:50):
But no, it's my fault they can't have fun together.
I feel incredibly guilt tripped and annoyed that she didn't
even think to ask me or consider how I might
feel about this. If we had space, I would have
no problem. Her friends stayed last year for a month
when we had two bedrooms. I still don't even know
when she's planning to come for how long where she
will sleep our sofa is not big enough for an
(34:12):
adult to sleep on. Anyway, I wanted a bit of
a rant explaining how I felt about the whole situation.
Am I being unreasonable in thinking this is not cool?
And we have some Opie's comments and some comments.
Speaker 5 (34:23):
Comment below your thoughts, Kean, Is he overreacting a touch.
Speaker 6 (34:28):
If I'm in a tight space, like if there is
no other work around, maybe for the good day, like
maybe a good day or two great three days, Like
I said, let's make a work around here. I'm not
stop it, but try and find a better housing accommodation,
especially if she again just got a raise, or again
she's getting making some money, maybe even Airbnb or like
(34:48):
a hostile something like that nearby. It's gonna be better
for everyone because one, you're not gonna get upset, the
sisters shouldn't get upset. She's gonna be living in a
better spot, and then your wife or girlfriend, your partner
is gonna be like, okay, great.
Speaker 5 (35:02):
It just seems like op feels like he's being used
a little bit. He wouldn't have mentioned how much he
pays for the apartment and everything if he didn't feel
like he was being used.
Speaker 6 (35:10):
But yeah, this is also you're paying for a lot
of it. Again, if it was like for a day
or maybe two days, three days, stop it two days,
two days tops, bite your tongue. You're like, okay, I
can live with that. Yeah, yeah, But if it's for
like a full time I thought it was two weeks, well,
however long if it's more than that, where you're in
a tight, cramped place and you're like you're just making
you know, making this livable, adding a third person is
(35:32):
gonna make this very stressed out.
Speaker 5 (35:33):
Yeah, it's not worth it, not worth it for your peace.
Speaker 6 (35:35):
I was gonna say, you told your partner how you feel, yeah,
and they're still like, no, this is still happening. That's
not fair. We have some comments here. Commenter said, not
the a hole. Your partner invited her sister over despite
the logistical limitations without discussing with you first. It's your
home too. It doesn't seem like there's a budget issue,
as you've mentioned that your sister recently got promoted and
(35:56):
doubled her salary, which means sister could have booked a
nearby tell and your partner could have stayed with her
for a few days.
Speaker 3 (36:03):
Worst.
Speaker 6 (36:03):
I think is your partner throwing you under the bus
in her exchange with the sister instead of acknowledging her
part in creating this situation in the first place. OP says,
thank you for the reassurance. I think I was definitely
an a hole in some of the reactionary comments, and
I'll apologize for those, but I agree I don't think
I'm at fault for the root issue here, despite being
made to feel that I am a commis to her again,
(36:25):
not the a hole. I would be really frustrated and
upset if my partner tried to make a unilateral decision
like this for a shared space, especially one so tiny.
This kind of behavior comes across as inconsiderate and lacking immaturity,
especially given how she placed the blame on you rather
than taking accountability. I would have a sit down talk
with your girlfriend and really lay it out. Ask her
(36:46):
how she would feel if you invited a male friend
or brother to stay there, and how it would appear
that you expected her to just deal with the situation,
as uncomfortable as it might be. Ask her how considerate
that would be. Offer her no judgment, just try to
underst and help her understand why you felt the way
you felt. Opie says, thank you for the thought out response.
Definitely going to sit down and talk about it. Unfortunately,
(37:08):
I jumped right into sending a load of reactionary messages
which were immature in themselves. Thankfully we have been able
to understend them, and so I will be doing just
what you say and having no judgment to lay out
how I feel and why. Another commenter says, especially if
there's no way to close off the bedroom and main
financial provider needs to sleep during the day, the girlfriend
(37:28):
is being selfish and entitled for inviting her sister without
a conversation and agreement from her boyfriend, and then for
the guilt tripping. Opie says, this is what really got me.
Nights are hard enough in a relationship anyway. I'm also
in healthcare, so I really need to optimize my sleep
to be able to perform. I'm just baffled. Commenter states,
have you asked about her sleeping arrangements, because now I'm
(37:49):
curious how they think that would work. Opie says, yes,
she said she would sleep on the sofa, maybe one
night crashing on the sofa this size is doable, but
not for a few weeks. Yeah, or on the floor,
which would mean trampling her if we went to get water,
slash go to the bathroom in the night and have
to step over her in the morning to get coffee,
et cetera. Where this is not just enough space. I
(38:10):
can't even do yoga s less stretches aside because we
have no floor space.
Speaker 5 (38:15):
Dude, you need to move somewhere else, man, God take
real issues. I need to find a new place to live.
Speaker 6 (38:20):
Maybe they're just saving up. Again, you're living in somewhere
that doesn't seem it's very comfortable, even for one person.
So home is where the heart is.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
And I get it.
Speaker 6 (38:28):
You're getting stressed out. And there's another note here from
OPI there is a cultural difference. Her family is different
to mine and would often have much more communal living.
But she knows that this is different for me. A
commentser which is again also says downvoted. I understand the
space is small, but you're expecting her to drop her
cultural norms to fit yours, don't you see that's a
bit ironic. Op states, I don't think it is as
(38:51):
simple as asking her to drop her cultural norms. We
live in a very western lifestyle together, as does her sister.
I think her bringing up that it's normal for them
to live more communally is unfair. Her family and our
living slash work situations are entirely different. They don't live
in tiny one bit flats. If I visit her country,
I would be expected to adapt to fit in with
(39:12):
their lifestyle. And then we have another update.
Speaker 5 (39:14):
These are solutions. I'm still sicking to my hot take.
Speaker 6 (39:17):
I mean, you can't just okay, let's change our place
and no change your place. Okay, well you can't change
your place, So let's your next solution.
Speaker 5 (39:24):
All right, whatever OP said earlier.
Speaker 6 (39:26):
You can stay for like maybe a night, maybe two nights.
Speaker 5 (39:28):
Any more than that you're gonna burn out the workhorse.
Speaker 6 (39:31):
Yeah, it's not fair that this was not communicated to UOP,
and it should have been communicated and not, you know,
just kind of thrown under the bus.
Speaker 3 (39:39):
Update.
Speaker 6 (39:40):
Then this is the next day. I measured the couch
they had planned for her to sleep on, which I
told them isn't big enough. It's four or five in length.
She is five five. There is not enough floor space
for an air mattress or anything like that. It is
simply not feasible. To everyone who felt this was a
deal breaker slash relationship under that's kind of insane based
on the above information, I agree with those who suggested
(40:01):
that she was upset about any obstacles limiting her plan
and that she was somewhat blinded by excitement to the
reality of our situation. I get that. I've done similar
in the past. I don't think she was intentionally manipulating me.
I think she was upset and wanted express that. I
get it. She apologized for making me feel bad. I
accepted the reality of our living situation and is trying
to find workarounds. And you know what you can do.
(40:23):
You can find us live three pm PST every weekday
on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, Twitch. Just tap that profile, tap it,
tap tap there is another relevant update.
Speaker 5 (40:38):
But disagreement that he's trying to find the best solution
for no need of breakup.
Speaker 6 (40:42):
No, no, no, none of that. I think he also
gets where she was coming from. She was just so
blinded by excitements like oh, sister's coming, like yes, yes, yes, yay.
But he's like, baby, be realistic.
Speaker 5 (40:54):
By about she can't got nowhere sleep biber.
Speaker 6 (40:57):
She ain't sleeping with us. We don't even have him
to sleep's. I think the solution is like, again, go
to a nearby hostel, hotel somewhere nearby if she needs
a crash on the couch, which is not even logistical
one night to night. It's clear that communication is really
key in relationships. Had there been clear communication prior, this
whole situation could have been avoided. The reason I came
(41:17):
to redd it rather than talk with her more is
because she was traveling for around twenty four hours and
she was offline. To those who suggested we talk without
judgment and just try and understand where both sides were
coming from, thank you. This is the way.
Speaker 5 (41:29):
He just wanted to hear that. That's all he needed.
Speaker 6 (41:31):
I guess he just wanted to speak it and like
wanted to get someone's advice and like what should I do?
And yeah, I know you're reasonable. I don't think you're
an a hole. I think again, communication is what was
missing here, but it was hard to communicate. Like you said,
I think your best thing is like, hey, maybe you
can help find them a place or find your sister
a place to get, you know, around the corner, and
then maybe go have a good dinner with her. And
(41:52):
your partner.
Speaker 5 (41:53):
And as the end of that story, I'm not going
to visit my mother in law ever again. She only
favors my.
Speaker 3 (41:59):
Brother in law.
Speaker 6 (41:59):
Favoritism makes the world spin.
Speaker 5 (42:01):
I twenty four female, and my boyfriend Nathan twenty six male,
have been together for six years. This year, we traveled
to his parents' house for Thanksgiving. For context, Nathan is
one of four brothers Alex single, Jack married to Joe, Nathan, Me,
and Luke married to Milly with a nearly two year old. Congrats.
(42:22):
Everyone lives out of state except for Luke and Milly
with a two year old. Nathan and I have the
longest drive at nine hours. By the way, this comes
from one Street fifty one on the r slash okay
storytime subreddit. So here's the issue. Nathan's parents, Mary and
John have only two gas bedrooms. Three couples tend to
visit at a time, meaning someone has to sleep on
(42:44):
an air mattress in between the rooms. The first year
I visited, I was told they would rotate who gets
the air mattress to keep a fair but after three
years on it, we were told it was now first come,
first serve. Okay, so we're changing the rules up a
little bit. Nathan's job doesn't allow much holiday. I already
know how it feels. I live this every day, so
(43:05):
we're almost always last to arrive and stuck on the
air mattress. While annoyingly we understood it seemed logical, this
year was different. Nathan and I got Monday through Thursday
off and would arrive first. I talked to Mary about
how we were finally gonna get a bedroom, and she laughed, saying, yep,
first come, first, serve boo. Milly, who I've grown close to,
(43:27):
knew we were thrilled about the prospect of getting a
bed this year. She even decided to come early too
so we could hang out, and we planned I'd take
the twin room, She'd take the queen Here's where it
gets frustrating. The day after we left, I texted Mary
are Eta. A few hours later, Milly texted me saying Luke,
who had spoken with Mary who mentioned Jack and Jill,
would get the queen room and Luke and Milly the
(43:49):
twin room, leaving Nathan and Me on the air mattress.
Speaker 3 (43:53):
Again.
Speaker 6 (43:54):
Oh that's not fair.
Speaker 5 (43:55):
I think Luke and Milly can have the queen room.
And Jack and Jill can get the air mattress.
Speaker 6 (44:00):
Oh they have a newborn, Yeah, the babies.
Speaker 3 (44:03):
You don't have a baby.
Speaker 5 (44:04):
Luke called Mary out, reminding her of the first come,
first serve rule, but she suddenly claimed she never said that.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
I never said that.
Speaker 5 (44:13):
You're probably acting crazy, you're probably undeads, and justified her
decision because Jack and Jill would be staying an extra day.
For context, Jack and Jill were arriving a day letter
than us, so this reasoning felt like an excuse. When
we arrived, Nathan brought up the rule again, but Mary
got defensive and claimed she didn't remember ever saying it
(44:33):
and refused to budge. I said several sarcastic comments as
I felt this was really unfair. I pointed out that
rules or rules until they didn't serve Jill, and that
we always do it a certain way until that means
Jill has to take the air mattress, and she could
come up with any justification, but that doesn't make it fair.
I even pointed out that it's silly for us to
(44:55):
now have to board out dogs and drive eight hours
before anyone else got here, just to change the rules. Now,
she had plenty of time to bring this up. With
our many conversations leading up to this, she became increasingly
sassy about the situation, leaving us feeling defeated and frankly
a little targeted. Am I the hole for speaking up?
Overthinking Mary unfairly changed the rules to suit Jack and
(45:18):
Jill and that we're always stuck with the short end
of the stick and we got a freaking update.
Speaker 3 (45:23):
Is that fair?
Speaker 6 (45:23):
It's definitely fair to bring it up.
Speaker 5 (45:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (45:25):
No, You've been abiding by these rules and you're like,
I'll play the game, I'll follow the rules, and then
when it comes to like your time to shine, are like, oh,
they haven't change the rules. It's not fair.
Speaker 5 (45:34):
That makes no freaking sense.
Speaker 6 (45:35):
I get it. Like if there's a newborn, then I'll
be like a little bit lenient, like, okay, someone does
deserve a room, but like this is like what's fair?
Speaker 3 (45:43):
Is fair?
Speaker 5 (45:44):
Yeah, it's pretty weird. Not gonna lie.
Speaker 6 (45:45):
You implemented rules for a reason. It's chaos if you
didn't implement the rules, and if we didn't follow the rules.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
Update.
Speaker 5 (45:52):
Later Monday night, Nathan spoke to his mom and we
did get the bed for one night before Jack and
Jill arrived. Initially, it was only offered for us to
move to the air mattress into the Queen bedroom for
the night, but Nathan pointed out that we were being
made to sleep on an air mattress when a bed
was readily available. The next morning, Nathan had to run
errands where we used to live before we moved. While
(46:14):
he was gone, I washed the sheets and had remad
the bed, even though Luke and Milly told me I
didn't have to wash them, just remake the bed. While
everyone in the family is very clean, Mary always insists
on washing the sheets between visitors, so I did it
out of respect to her preferences. Milli and Luke even
offered for us to take their bed. But honestly, it
wasn't just about the bed. It was about the promises
(46:36):
that were made and then retracted despite those rules being
in place for years. It was also about the gas
sliding and the fact that Mary didn't tell us ahead
of time, even though there were so many chances to
do so. As close friends to Luke and Milly, I
didn't want them to be put in the position of
being uncomfortable on the air mattress either. While I've never
had a child myself. I know your body isn't the
(46:58):
same afterwards, Actually you're back. We ultimately agreed to move
the air mattress into Luke and Millie's room since they
had a heater and it gave us a little bit
of privacy. We tried to make the most out of
the holidays, enjoy our time. They are despiding everything. Later,
Mary mentioned plans to get two pull out couches, one
(47:19):
for the area between the rooms and one for the
twin bedroom. While this was thoughtful, it still didn't address
the issue of changing the rules to suit others. She's like, Hey,
here's the real thing. Why are we not talking about that?
Why are we not talking about how much you love
brother in law?
Speaker 6 (47:36):
And not wait because you're not brother in law.
Speaker 5 (47:38):
All right, We'll stop talking about this air mattress and
get to the real thing. Hero p please. Mary has
already stated that we will have a bedroom for Christmas,
but if this promise is broken again, we won't stay
at their house in the future. Nathan and I have
decided that if we don't get a bed for Christmas,
we'll stay in a hotel. We're still planning on going
because it's Luke and Millie's son's birthday for Thanksgiving next
(47:59):
year if there isn't enough room or staying home. However,
Nathan and I are currently planning on getting a house,
and Luke and Milly suggested that once we do, we
could host Thanksgiving there. They said they'd love to attend,
which is exciting because Millie and I are both avid
bakers and love cooking. Whenever Milly and I bring dishes
to these gatherings, they're barely touched except by us and
(48:19):
our partners. We're also planning to visit Luke and Milly
more often. They are considering moving closer to the parents,
and when they host holidays in the future, will always
have a guaranteed place at their home. They have backups.
This is just the last time they will be either
on the air mattress or on the bed.
Speaker 6 (48:36):
They're saying put some respect on her name and the rules.
Speaker 5 (48:39):
To address popular questions for info in the last post,
Alex he doesn't come for Thanksgiving. He only saves days
off for Christmas. Also, he has rarely gotten put on
an air mattress. Only once that I remembered that it
was Luke and Millie's wedding when all four of us
bros used to come up for holidays. It was Alex
and the twin editors note twin bedroom. Luke pre married
(49:02):
her girlfriend on the air mattress in that room, Nathan
and I in between rooms, and Jack and Jewel in
the Queen Hotel. This house is in the middle of nowhere.
The closest decent hotel is about forty five minutes to
an hour.
Speaker 3 (49:14):
That's me.
Speaker 5 (49:14):
That's where I live.
Speaker 3 (49:15):
Oh wow.
Speaker 5 (49:16):
The main draw of visiting everyone except parents stay up
late evenings playing board games, D and D and drinking.
We used to do a wasted gingerbread making contests. As
for the distance to a hotel, that would mean missing
out on hanging out, and there are no ubers here. Also,
before we moved this year, we didn't stay as many
days and didn't mind staying on the air mattress one
(49:38):
to two to three days due to what had seemed
fair to us. Also, we're the second closest couple and
just didn't get as much time off, which always made
us last. Also, we didn't get a hotel this time
after the incident due to saving up for a house
slash wedding. We didn't have spare cash floating around. Honestly,
y'all know this economy and unexpected expenses, Milli and Luke
(50:00):
to live within the state barely is not feasible for
them to stay home or stay with them. Also, staying
with Milly's parents isn't an option. They don't get along
and interact with their child. Milly believes their child deserves
a relationship with his grandma, even if she doesn't have
a great relationship with her mom. Also, there's no room Mary.
This was completely out of character for Mary. In fact,
(50:23):
the only person anyone in the house has an issue
with is John. Mary is the one who wants all
of their sons home for the holidays and goes out
of her way to make sure we'll all attend. Usually,
Luke does believe the change was due to his dad,
and their mom was made the messenger because the mom
is usually a big person on fairness and mostly had
(50:43):
no issues other than the ones John pushed onto her.
This was also backed up by John's reaction to hearing
we stayed in the room for one night before this interaction.
Mary is one of four people that I've stated I'll
take a bullet for due to her normal kindness.
Speaker 3 (51:00):
Jack and Jill.
Speaker 5 (51:00):
Most in the house has an issue with them. Previous holidays,
they have thrown a fit due to us voting on
where to eat and none of us wanted to go
where they chose. They refuse to eat with us. Jill
was the main issue of this, and similar things have
happened every time. This year. Millie asked if we could
play the board game in their room one night, as
she was on the phone with her sister playing an
(51:21):
online game and we didn't have morech room due to
their mattress. Jill stated she wasn't willing to and either
it was in our room or they weren't playing. They
were also the reason we have two board dogs. Their
dog is aggressive and with a small child it's not safe. However,
if they aren't attending, we are allowed to bring our
dogs and you are allowed to attend us every weekday
at three pmpsday. We can go live on YouTube, Facebook, Twitch,
(51:44):
and TikTok. Just step our profile and we're probably live
right now. But these like complicated relationships happening here, It
just seems like.
Speaker 6 (51:52):
I think it's getting very over complicated now.
Speaker 5 (51:54):
Yeah, I feel like we're just kind of going on
the rant here. I'm just gonna finish.
Speaker 3 (51:57):
Up, Okay.
Speaker 6 (51:58):
I was just say like it seems like they already
have a plan, Like if they really want to just
not deal with it, it's like, all right, well it's a crapshoot,
Like we lose that ability, so we can do this
for a living situation or a better sort of stay situation.
I guess you can.
Speaker 5 (52:11):
Say exactly chronic illness slash pregnancy. For all the comments
about pregnancy, Jill is not pregnant. About health reasons, Millie
has some chronic illnesses they are still trying to figure out.
Jill is used to being overweight side, but has lost
a significant amount of weight in the last three years.
I have insomnia. Both Milli and I have bipolar disorder
(52:32):
and indo metrosis. I said it wrong. Tear me apart
in the comments. This inconvenience due to my period usually
hitting during the holidays. Wow, and that is the end
of the story. Yeah, girl, figure it out. I know
what it's like in this situation, being with complicated family
members and trying to figure out where to stay and
all that stuff.
Speaker 6 (52:51):
You have to make some sacrifices. It's either the sacrifices
you stay on an air mattress, which sucks, or you
lose some time and you gotta go live at a
hotel that's an hour away. Got to make sacrifices. And
that's just the true belief here that with this big family.
Speaker 5 (53:06):
But that's the end of that story. My in laws
didn't appreciate my dinner invitation, so now I'm getting them
back with AI. I sent my in laws and invitation
for dinner. We still really thought it would be nice
if it came from me. By the way, this comes
from zoo Keeper Game owned seventeen on the r slash
Okay storytime, sub bright religious greetings. Husband was thinking of
inviting you next weekend, God willing. Would that work for you?
(53:28):
Or do you have other plans?
Speaker 3 (53:29):
Yes or no?
Speaker 6 (53:30):
Yes, it's very simple, that's very okay cool.
Speaker 5 (53:33):
Ten minutes later, father in law called my husband to
tell him they wished the message had been longer and warmer.
Two to the point they want.
Speaker 6 (53:41):
A little bit uh, don't touch me a little.
Speaker 5 (53:43):
Bit of four plan man me a little excited there,
make me want a son in law.
Speaker 1 (53:46):
No.
Speaker 5 (53:47):
Husband agreed to let me know for next time. The
next day, father in law called again over something else.
Husband used the opportunity to point out they still had
it replied to my message. Father in law told them
they would not be replying to me until I fixed
it and made it warmer.
Speaker 6 (54:01):
Greetings, loved ones, please come to this dinner that I'm
cooking for you because we would love you there. Please,
we really need you there.
Speaker 5 (54:08):
Pull it up or not? That's what I would have done.
One for coming too for not.
Speaker 6 (54:11):
That's two arm. What is this guy's issue the fact
that you got invited to a dinner? Reading this, he
had invited to a dinner.
Speaker 5 (54:17):
They also pointed out that at my job, I have
to adopt a certain tone to be perceived as professional.
This is the same in a family context. Since they
wanted me to adopt the same strategies I used at work,
I figured I'd used chat GPT to get frustrating task
out of the way as quickly as possible. I showed
the AI my original message, told it my in laws complaints,
(54:39):
and told it to rewrite it in super warmly, as
if I would be perfect insert aniites daughter in law.
It came up with an absolutely ridiculous message with emojis everywhere.
I copied and pasted it and sent it right after
my last left on red invitation.
Speaker 6 (54:56):
Okay, all right, so it's.
Speaker 3 (54:58):
Like you wanted this to be professional.
Speaker 6 (55:01):
I'd see how professional this is.
Speaker 3 (55:02):
Are you coming or not? Yeah?
Speaker 6 (55:03):
Like, do you want to come or not? I don't
want to send the invite anymore?
Speaker 5 (55:06):
Come on?
Speaker 6 (55:06):
Was it a no? Is that like a note?
Speaker 5 (55:08):
Husband was okay with it, and we sent it together.
I first suggested to him I could write a genuine
message about my grievance this here, but he pointed out
I did so over another petty comment months ago, and
it led nowhere. We decided to go with the chat
GBT message minus some of the emojis. Father in law
works with AI. I have no doubts he can tell
this is chat GPT. This is funny. He's like, wait
(55:30):
a minute, I programmed this.
Speaker 6 (55:32):
It sounds like me talking.
Speaker 5 (55:33):
I put this made.
Speaker 6 (55:34):
That's the kind of message I want.
Speaker 5 (55:35):
Even mother in law will know. There is no way
either husband and I wrote this. I do kind of
feel a bit guilty about the passive aggressiveness of our response.
There is a very obvious cultural context here. I understand
my culture seems cold to them. The way there seem
over the top to me. But as God is my witness,
I have unsuccessfully tried everything to communicate with them. They
(55:57):
have ignored the new message, no phone call to my husband.
I don't want this to go nuclear. I just want
them to say sure, let's see you next week and
pretend to tolerate my cooking. Am I the a holt girl?
You were just trying to get a yes or no.
Speaker 6 (56:12):
Not these people, they're a petty They're like, do it again,
but with warmth.
Speaker 5 (56:15):
These people are like my freaking neighbors. Anytime a car
is parked wrong in the street, they're gonna be calling
the parking police.
Speaker 3 (56:21):
Hey, this car is parked wrong. You have to get them.
Speaker 6 (56:23):
I hate people like that. They're on such a high horse.
Speaker 5 (56:26):
Yeah, dude, they're like, this is the only thing you
have going on your day.
Speaker 6 (56:28):
You're that bored that you're like this greeting wasn't to
your benefit, to your standard.
Speaker 5 (56:32):
People that always are upset about something, go be grateful
about something. When's the last time you said three things
you were grateful for? But we got a freaking update.
I always here. A couple of weeks ago because my
in lost not find my dinner invitation warm enough. We
already know what happened. Mother in law did respond to
my second message, religious greetings, thank you for the invitation.
We will get together soon, God willing. It's not that hard,
(56:55):
that's their response.
Speaker 6 (56:56):
Okay, I mean yes, and we're not being petty.
Speaker 5 (56:59):
We're not being petty. Did not follow up and let
the invitation expire. They did not come. A bit after that,
we had a large family gathering at their place, my
husband's grandparents, his parents, their kids, and grandkids. I kept
the interaction with father in law and mother in law
to a minimum. I wass poly I greeted them, but
nothing more. I felt I had made enough efforts to
(57:19):
try to connect with people that did not respect me
enough to reply to a text message. In the past,
they have always used my lack of relationship with the
rest of the family against me. I was not close
enough to sister in law, nor did I not spend
enough time with the grandmother in law, and it was
proof I was not making any effort to integrate into
the family. I have tried to explain their family is
(57:41):
very large and it takes a while to build relationships
with tens of people who are already close knit. But
you might as well, try to convince some mountain to
move to a different spot. Well, not this time. The
younger kids have always been easy. They're not as set
in their ways, and they accept me very quickly. I
spent hours with the kids playing all over me. The
babies used to cry when they saw me. They hate strangers.
(58:04):
Not only have they stopped crying, they smile and play
with me now. My oldest sister in law also married
outside of their culture, so she's always been the most
empathetic since she knows what her husband went through with them.
My sister in law is a lot more like my
mother in law, hard one to win over, but even
she soften and now we are in a place where
we get along. The final blow, though, is where my
(58:26):
husband's grandparents. Father in law's parents are very conservative and
would have clearly preferred if he had married within the community.
The grandmother barely speaks a word of English. I'm not
what they wanted, but even they have moved on. They
hugged me and they were clearly happy to see me.
Between the facts I now feel comfortable with everyone else
(58:47):
and the fact I stopped even trying with them, I
guess it dawned on them that my problem was not
their family, it was them. It might seem like a
small thing to the readers here, but such a level
of actual awareness coming from them is nothing less than
a miracle from God in my eyes. After the gathering,
they are cold, husband again and asked if I hated
(59:07):
them and still held a grudge for the fact they
opposed us getting married for a long time.
Speaker 3 (59:13):
I had no idea.
Speaker 6 (59:14):
You thought that good communication skills.
Speaker 5 (59:17):
Husband and his infinite patients argued for hours with them
and try to explain that when you treat people unkindly,
they do not tend to love you back. He pushed
back on the idea I was punishing them and reminded
them I have tried very hard for months to get
along with them, and all I got for it was
criticism and ghosting. Whatever else said during that fight, it
(59:38):
seemed to have had some sort of effect. And you
can be effective if you join us live every weekday
through PMPST on YouTube, Twitter, Twitch, and Facebook. Just t
have a profile.
Speaker 3 (59:47):
We don't worry.
Speaker 6 (59:48):
Okay, Twitter's coming very very easy.
Speaker 3 (59:49):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (59:50):
Just go to every single one and check out for Live.
Speaker 6 (59:53):
There easy.
Speaker 5 (59:53):
So I'm glad they're kind of coming around here.
Speaker 6 (59:55):
I guess. But if this was the ongoing situation, they
should have been communicated with way sooner. The fact that
you tried to like all of branch. I know you
guys don't really like me, but I want to make
amends and I want to try to, you know, get
to know you guys. And and oh you chop the
olive branch by not touching it. I don't understand that.
Why do people got to be so ugh?
Speaker 5 (01:00:16):
Yeah? Yeah, But here's the end of the story. They
have stopped calling husband once a week to give a
detailed report of everything I have done wrong during the
last seven days. While they can still not accept to
see me wearing pants around them. They seem to have
given up on trying to convince us I should never
wear pants outside of my own house again. Twenty first
century reader may be confused by how this constitutes progress.
(01:00:37):
I'm grading on a curve here, and for her credit,
I think mother in law has taken the mental load
to try and fix the relationship. She's been the one
texting me, giving me news, and inviting us to a restaurant.
All the emotional labor that used to be mine. Father
in law is still a piece of work, but since
his parents now like me, not much he can say
or do. Ironically, his culture is now working for me.
(01:01:00):
It seems like we got a little happy ending here.
Speaker 6 (01:01:02):
Hopefully it looks like it's going in the right way.
That's the end of that story and the end of
that episode.
Speaker 5 (01:01:07):
So if you love us, make sure to subscribe.
Speaker 6 (01:01:11):
We love you and see you tomorrow.
I refuse to share a wedding with my sister. Now
the whole family is upset. Sister, am I the a
hole for refusing to share my wedding day with my sister?
I twenty seven female, have wanted to be married to
my fiance, twenty eight male for years, and we finally
started planning our big day. However, my sister, twenty five females,
(00:21):
suddenly announced plans for her own wedding on the very
same day.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Ooh boy.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
By the way, this comes from I love frogs and
dogs on our slash okay storytime separate it. So I
was shocked and hurt, especially since she never showed any
interest in marrying her partner before. Is that your shocked
and hurt face? Yes, I'm imagining ope perfectly. Really paint
a picture. I told her it's wrong for her to
try and share the spotlight, but she insists it's a
(00:49):
coincidence and she didn't know. My fiance and I have
been together for five years and it was always clear
that a big wedding was my dream. I've planned every
detail from the venue to the dress, making sure it's perfect.
My sister's sudden plan made me feel like she's trying
to overshadow me on my special day. Everyone keeps suggesting
that we merge the weddings, but I can't.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Stand the idea of sharing the spot light.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
I tried to talk it out with her, but she
dismisses my feelings and says, I'm being selfish. I just
want one day that's all about me and my partners.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
That so much to add impossible, you can't have it.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
My sister has always been the golden child. Everything has
come so easily to her. She has no idea how
much planning goes into a wedding, and suddenly she's claiming
to have everything arranged for the same day. I feel
like she's trying to take away my moment, the one
day I've been dreaming about for so long. Am I
the a hole for not wanting this to be my
(01:45):
own special day? Shouldn't a sister respect my feelings and
find her own day for her wedding. Yes, I've made
all the arrangements for my wedding day, including booking the fenders.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
The caterers, and my actual venue.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
I even talk to her husband, who was completely in
the dark about my sister's plans. I've put down significant
non refundable deposits, and changing the.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Date now would cost me a fortune.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Despite this, my sister insists that we share the wedding day,
dismissing all the effort and money I've insisted in making
it my dream wedding. She keeps saying we can merge
the weddings and have one big celebration, but I refuse
to compromise my vision for her sudden urge to get married.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
The thought of.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Sharing my special day with her, having to split attention
and resources feels like a nightmare. She claims it's a
coincidence that she picks the same date, but I can't
help but notice how convenient it is for her to
piggyback off all my planning. Her nonchalance over my hard
work and investments is infuriating.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Why does she need to do this on my day?
Speaker 1 (02:51):
My parents keep trying to reason with me, saying that
it would be practical and.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Efficient to have the siblings wedding on the same day.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
They keep pointing out the money that we could save
by combining the events, but they're missing the points.
Speaker 4 (03:03):
Yeah, I keep pointing out how dumb you are, and
you still don't get that.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
Now, No, Yeah, I've.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Been dreaming about this day since I was a little girl.
I don't want to.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
Share with anyone, especially not my sister, who has always
overshadowed me. I want to be a center of attention
for once illegal My parents don't seem to understand the
importance of this to me. My partner tries to be
supportive but struggles to understand the depth of my feelings.
He thinks I'm being overly dramatic and should be happy
for my sister. He says it's just a day, but
(03:34):
to me, it's a lifelong dream. Saying it's just a
day to your wedding.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
You know what else is just a day your funeral?
There you go.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Despite my explanation, he seems more worried about not rocking
the family boat. He wants to keep everyone happy, but
I don't think he understands how hurt and overlooked eye feel.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
Who's going to care that they have two separate weddings,
That's what everyone expects.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
I feel like parents would know how big a deal
this is, and like, you know, like want this to
be two different days.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
It proves that the sisters are golden child like. It's
super clear.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Yeah, that is very true.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
I also wonder like what the parent's wedding was like
and if it was just like a courtroom thing or
something just like save money.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
I think these type of people they just they're able
to do such mental gymnastics that they just like convince
themselves through methods unknown.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
It's truly remarkable, it really is.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Second update, Wow, things have escalated after the whole wedding debacle.
My family seems to be taking sides. Several relatives have
actually chosen to drop out of my wedding and attend
my sisters instead. Even my maid of honor, the person
who's been on my side through all my wedding planning,
(04:47):
has decided to be a bridesmaid at my sister's wedding.
This feels like a slap in the face. It's not
just a date conflict anymore. It feels like an attack
on everything I had planned and hoped for. Now my
wedding feels like it's falling apart. All the planning, the
careful choices, the dreams for the perfect day, they're crumbling.
My family's support has vanished, and my closest friend, my
(05:10):
maid of honor, has turned on me.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
My fiance keeps trying to soothe me, saying it's not
the end of the world. But he doesn't get it.
Why does no one understand the importance.
Speaker 5 (05:20):
Of a wedding.
Speaker 4 (05:21):
Also, I don't know why I keep miss hearing words.
But I thought you said instead of soothed me. I
thought you said, sue me. You know, no, hope, he
spent through enough. But he's still saying it's not the
end of the world. We still have so much more
to this. But here's what I think should happen.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
I think, op, he should be like, Okay, well, if
you want to have your own wedding and steal all
of our family guests to it, then you should pay
me back for all of the non refundable deposits I've
made for my wedding. Boom, there you go, win win.
She gets her money, she gets her wedding. I mean,
she also spends way more money, but that's on her.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
And then you she's gonna do it again, right because
she's crazy, So she's gonna do another wedding.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
And you're like, Okay, that all good.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
Just again, repay me all of the non refundable and
just bleed her dry.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
He doesn't see how betrayed.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
I feel how every happy memory I planned to make
on my wedding day is being overshadowed by hurt and disappointment.
And my sister, she just keeps talking about how perfect
her happy accident of a wedding is going to be,
her happy accident. She acts like she's the star of
a fairy tale and I'm just in the way. She
(06:31):
doesn't seem to care that my family is abandoning me,
that my wedding is crumbling. She's enjoying the attention, relishing
in the spotlight, and it's driving me insane. And the
worst part is people are rallying around her, congratulating her,
telling her how wonderful everything is. Meanwhile, my feelings and
dreams are dismissed.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
But John, guess what what? There is yet another update.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
I can't handle it neither, So.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Update number three. Things have gone from bad to worse.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
I was already before when OPI was like, somehow it
all got worse? I'm like, Opie, how can it get
positive get worse? Now you say that all goes back doors, Opie,
I don't know what is left that hasn't already gone wrong.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
Not only has my family sided with my sister. But
now some of my extended family members have started commenting
on social media, calling me selfish and dramatic for not
letting my sister have the wedding on the same date.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
I still can't believe this is happening. My special day.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Is being ruined, and now people are turning on me
for standing up for what I want.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
It's infuriating my partner.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
My fiance has been a constant source of frustration throughout
this ordeal.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Yeah, because he was all like, it's just a day.
It's fine, you.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
May give me. That's not just a day. That's the
best day of your freaking life.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Yeah, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
He claims that he wants to support me, but every
time I express my disappointment or anger, he calls me
over dramatic and he tells me to just get over
it and move on, like I'm just being silly for
caring so much.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
We have had unreliable narrators before, where they spin a
whole tale and then someone's like, oh, I'm the sister
entering the chat, and actually the sister did this to me,
but she just wanted to like be like see or whatever.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
But I really hope that that's what happens. I really
hope there's another update and it's from the sister's perspective, but.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Let's see, he keeps saying that it's not that big
of a deal because we have our whole lives together afterward.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
But it's not just about the date.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
It's about feeling like an afterthought, Like my own sister
is stealing my moment.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
But you know who would never ever steal your moment
in the whole wide world? Woo us?
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Yeah, because you know why?
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Why Because we're live on YouTube and Facebook and TikTok
every single weekday and all you have to do is
tap our profile and you can join us.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
And that three PMPSD might I.
Speaker 3 (08:54):
Act can't forget that.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
But yeah, there's a bit more. But what do we
think about the husbands right now?
Speaker 3 (09:01):
Divorce?
Speaker 4 (09:01):
Everybody divorce the husband, divorce the family.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
It's exactly what Opie said.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
It's like I feel like an afterthought, and it's like
this is your wedding.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
I feel like.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
There's so many situations where you can be over dramatic
and like you can be like no, but like I
want this, you know, and like I want it to
be this way and everyone else is wrong and whatever,
this is your wedding, you know, it's like you you
deserve to say that you want to be the star
of the show.
Speaker 4 (09:28):
And like it's not even like Opie's like, oh, everyone
has to, you know, wear a giant marshmallow and we
have to like, I don't know, do this like dance
that makes us all sweaty. I don't know, like Opie's
just like I simply just want to have a celebration
that I don't have to split half of the attention
(09:51):
but realistically all with someone else. It is literally the
most basic necessities and these people can't even do that. Opie,
you need to divorce everyone, and Rue is f as
you can run away girl.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
As for my sister's husband to be, he seems completely
clueless about the drama unfolding around him. He is more
focused on his own interests and doesn't seem to see
the impact his fiance's actions are having. He is blissfully unaware,
going on about his day life while our family is
at each other's throats because of his bride to Bee's decision.
(10:23):
It's almost as if he's living in a bubble, ignorant
to the storm he has unknowingly contributed to.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
And that's it.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
That was painful.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Move to a new country, change your name, and then
you'll fall in love, just like all those like Hallmark movies.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Yeah, disactly.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
You can write a movie, become an amazing director, and
then I'm just seeing this whole life for you.
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Go be a movie star.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
But that's the end of the story.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
My little brother is sec so I stopped talking him.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Boy bye for you see you later.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
So I eighteen female to male, have a brother fifteen
male who was always trying to be different in old school.
People like my grandparents like to say, oh, he's an
old soul, you know, one of those there's nothing wrong
with that. But he has the tendency to be really
misogynistic and sexist. By the way, this comes from deleted
on the r slash Okay storytime separated. So, for example,
(11:18):
when I came out as trans to the family, I
wasn't expecting a big thing.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
All I wanted was to be accepted.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
I didn't want a cake or party or anything like that,
and I didn't get one.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
A simple okay, if you need something, let me know
from my mom, and that was it.
Speaker 3 (11:33):
That was it.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
That's all you need.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
But my brother made a big deal out of it.
This was three years ago, and every week he asks me, oh,
you still a boy? Or are you like a helicopter?
Speaker 3 (11:46):
Excuse me, sir? Or what are you today?
Speaker 2 (11:49):
A fish or something? At first I thought he was.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Just being a brother and annoying me, but then I
realized the tone under it was actually pretty nasty. Also,
I am not exaggerating when I say every week. Now,
I could be overthinking it, but it doesn't stop there.
When I first got together with my boyfriend eighteen mail,
the first thing my brother said was, oh.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Does he know that you're not a real boy?
Speaker 3 (12:14):
He probably likes that.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Every time I bring home a friend, I get a
comment along the lines of are they like gender bending
or something? Or is that a real boy or girl?
And he says it like it's a disgusting thing. And
I can be looking too deep into it, but it's
getting old, and when I try to talk to him
about it, I get labeled as being.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Too woke, too sensitive.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
It's not like it's giving me mental breakdowns, but it's annoying.
What does hurt is the constant use of my dead name,
not just in public, situations.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
But home and literally everywhere.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
When I correct him, I get I'm not calling you that,
And he even.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Said the classic is just a phase.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Literally two days ago, when I corrected him on my name,
I got hit with.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
Oh my god, another FWES girl.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
No, it's been the same for three years, and it's
not like I'm pushing it down his throat.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
I just want him to be respectful. I don't care
if he likes it or not.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
I don't care if he trashes me behind my back,
but I just want him to be nice to me
to my face for once.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
Anyway.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Other than attempt to correct him every few months or so,
I just leave it so I don't cause a massive scene.
Plus I'm eighteen, he's fifteen. I'm hoping that if I
ignore it, heill mature. I know he's still developing, etc.
Up until last night, that worked. But I walked into
the kitchen to make myself some dinner, a toasty because
(13:39):
who the heck has time to cook a whole meal
at ten pm?
Speaker 2 (13:42):
And my brother literally out of nowhere for real.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
No one asks, starts talking about wanting to be amish.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
What's wait?
Speaker 3 (13:52):
What actually know? What? Go ahead? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, don't.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
So you see that like big old field over there
where there's like no people for one hundred of miles.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Yeah, go there, go ahead, Opie says he caught me
off guard. That caught me off guard. I was not
expecting that at all. But I just nodded and told
him that he would have to quit music and grow beard,
and also wouldn't be allowed to see the family again,
because as far as my limited knowledge of the homage goes.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
They have some pretty strict rules.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Anyway, I guess I didn't give him the reaction that
he wanted because he huffed and then started going on
about how Trump is amazing.
Speaker 4 (14:26):
Bro has such adhd, He's so add his bigotry had.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Stay focused on one topic of hate.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Bro, That's so true.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Now, I'm Australian and I don't know that much about
Trump because I'm just not educated enough. But I do
know that he hasn't been great for women's rights. Okay,
so they're brother and sister. If op is Australian, that
means that the brother is Australian. I didn't know that
Australians cared. I didn't know that there were followers, I guess,
and supporters of our politics in Australia.
Speaker 4 (14:57):
It's like so big, I guess, and like be such
a maniac that like I could see and he was
like a celebrity or whatever.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
So I was like, is when he like really bad
on women's rights and he was like, sort of, I
think that's good though.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Bro was like, yeah, I think it's great. I think
it's amazing.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
And I just blinked at him, like beautf and he
was like, don't even start. You're two woke women are
always pushing for things they don't need. How do you
have five sisters, a mother and two nieces and talk
like that?
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Good question, opie.
Speaker 4 (15:32):
And you know what, he shouldn't even have to have
all those amazing women in his life to know did
not be a.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Like just steady it right.
Speaker 1 (15:41):
Anyway, I was so done with him that I just
shut my mouth and got my toasty and went to
walk down to my room. And he got mad and said,
oh my god, I just want to talk with my sister.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
You never talked to me anymore.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
Hmm.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
I wonder why, what a mystery? What's this one?
Speaker 3 (16:02):
Gang?
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Anyway, I just turned around and told him to reflect
on the conversation we had and he hit me again.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
With the oh my god, you're so sunsyed and you're
too woke.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
So I just left and haven't talked to him since.
But that was only last night.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
So am I the A hole?
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Because I'm fully aware that I could be too woke
or sensitive or whatever.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
And I know I can't force him to accept my
gender identity. But it hurt that he blatantly called me
his sister. But it's not like I scream at him
for it or anything. So yeah, looking for opinions.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Also, yes, my parents my mother have talked to him
about it, but it's just not stopping.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
So yeah, there's a lot. Look, but what do we think?
Is he the A hole or not?
Speaker 4 (16:45):
Opie is not the a hole at all. Opie's freaking awesome.
And again, like Opie was like, Hey, I don't want
to like force people to You don't gotta throw a
parade for me, you gotta roll out all all he wants,
just a let's just be cool. Just just accept me,
accept my gender identity. That's all mask and force. It's
(17:09):
pretty easy. It's pretty simple. And yet the brother it's
a classic case of like of the people like oh, like, oh,
why you to celebrate. Why are pushing on my face?
Speaker 1 (17:20):
And it's just like I'm just existing, Like I'm just
chilling here.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
I'm just chilling. You're the one that's going all crazy.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Yeah, it's like that one meme that if you've seen it,
it's like, I'm just a chill guy that like wants
my brother to use my like pronouns, you know what
I mean.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Have you seen that chill guy meme?
Speaker 3 (17:37):
I haven't seen that.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
Okay, well it's pretty funny. I'll show you later.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Yeah, definitely not the a hole because I kind of listen.
I don't want to be controversial, but I understand the
idea of being like too woke or something. And hear
me out because I don't know if that's like the
right words to use, calling it too woke. But I
do think that people on both sides just.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Get a little aggressive, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
It's like I think the opinions are like totally valid
and whatever, and I totally understand them and like standing
up for what you believe in and everything. I just
do think that some people are a little just like
harsh with it. Oh he's just existing with his TOASTI
and that's like it so we have little edits.
Speaker 2 (18:16):
Okay, people, please stop attacking my parents. Well, attack my
dad if you want. I don't care.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
He barely parents as kids. But my mother is an angel.
She's doing her best and that's all I can ask for.
She has nine kids and she works. A lot of
her kids are grown now. But my brother is a handful. Obviously,
he's done other things that are more important than his
behavior towards me.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
I think he may be going.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Through a rebellious phase, which is lost on me because
I never actually had one. But my mother is exhausted,
and I don't blame her. My brother has been getting
himself into trouble for the past couple months and has
been acting like a total rat. He's got classic youngest
child syndrome, and it's worse.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
That he's the only blood boy.
Speaker 1 (19:02):
My father practically praises his bad behavior or waves it
off as boys will be boys, which completely undoes any
boundaries my mother sets down for my brother. Yeah, that's
a whole nother thing that can spark a whole other
conversation about that.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
Guess what this boy say, You can't. That's right, I'm
putting you in your place. Freaking stupid brother.
Speaker 2 (19:24):
Also, yes, I hear some of you move out.
Speaker 3 (19:28):
Well.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Even though I have a job, I'm.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Still going through UNI and paying it off as well
as my car. I'm not in the financial situation right
now to just move out, but i will soon and
I'm saving money to get my own place with my boyfriend.
By the way, you always have a safe space with
us when you join us live on YouTube and Facebook
every weekday at three PMPSD.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Just taber profile. As for the trolls who think that
they're so funny talking smack in the comments, it's not working.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
I just want you to know that all it does
is make me laugh and then I to give a response.
One person called me a word joke's on you. That
turns me on.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
Opie's freaking awesome. I freaking love Opie, dude, slip it
on him.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
So yeah, if you don't like that, I don't have
a wang and still give off bigger, weener energy than
you feel, okay to just.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Scroll past get on out of here, boy.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
I'm sure that hand is better for more than just
wanking off. And which is the vibes that transphobes give off.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
That's that's crazy. Get them Opie anyway, live, laugh, love
or whatever. I don't know how to end this, and
there we go. That's the ending. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (20:42):
Yeah, conclusion is yeah, I guess just like, yeah, move
out as soon as you reasonably can, like don't rush
and become homeless, but you know, just like get out
there and then you know, man.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Cut off the brother.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Yeah, my siblings ignored me for years, so I want
to go no contact with them by kind of sounds
like you already are. I'm wanting to mostly vent as
I am a recovering people pleaser.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
Sorry, this is long.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
I sixty female, have an older brother seventy two and
a deceased brother who would have been sixty nine, an
older sister sixty seven, and a younger sister fifty two.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
Big family all over the age board there.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
You would think at our age that we would have
been past the pettiness.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
But no.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
By the way, this comes from a non e mouse
band nerd on the r Sasha Okay storytime sub Breddit.
My mother passed two years ago and left us with
the house we grew up in to be split five
ways when it's sold. My deceased brother's share would be
split between his two children. My remaining brother is the
executor of my mother's estate. For context, my older siblings
(21:47):
have always treated my little sister and I like we
were idiots or at best small children. My little sister
would call me to complain and invent about them, her job,
life in general, but she couldn't be bothered to do
the same for me.
Speaker 4 (21:59):
Yeah, I'll complain to you, but when I need to complain,
I ain't got nobody to run to.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
If we were on a trip together, she would ditch
me for friends or just roll her eyes at any suggestions.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
That I might make.
Speaker 1 (22:12):
I often was alone, even in a foreign country, and
on my own for a dinner, excursions, etc. So I
was essentially the frequently forgotten, often maligned middle child. When
Mom passed, it was understood that my little sister, the
only one who was single and lived closest to Mom,
would move into mom's house and stay there for a year,
(22:32):
getting the house ready to sell. My little sister had
quit her teaching job to be our mother's caregiver the
last few years of her life.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
When Mom went into assisted living, my sister struggled finding
a job. Hers and mine is a niche teaching position
and took a sizeable pay cut to teach at.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
A private school.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Since she didn't have to pay rent and have some
money left in mom's account earmarked for upkeep of the house,
she could survive.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
For a year.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
We all agreed on a year. A year passes and
she's still in the house. She says public schools just
aren't hiring. I know this isn't.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
True, but she's picky about where she wants to live.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
I sucked it up and went wherever the jobs were
for my career. But that was me being the people pleaser.
When my parents were both alive, my husband and I
both retired. Had made plans to travel based on the
intent of my sister moving after the first year and
the house selling. When that didn't happen, we canceled our
plans to save money. As inflation and the cost of
(23:31):
living grew that second year, we had to cut more
things out of our lives, including selling a car. Meanwhile,
my little sister quit her job after the second year
in the house and was living on money that my
big sister was giving her. Oh my gosh, when we
asked about the sale of the house.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Over two years.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
Since my mother passed passed due.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
We were met.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
By yelling, condescension and then silence. My husband sixty seven
and I reached out to my brother and he said
it was our own fault if we were having money troubles,
and again to not ask him about any personal stuff.
That's annoying. That's something I read in like another story earlier.
Was like, it's actually the same kind of thing happened
where it was like something with the will and then
(24:15):
someone was like given a lot less money in the
will or like left out of it, and then another
sibling was like, sorry, you're broke.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Sorry, you're not freaking rich like me.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
He said, it's our own fault if we have money troubles,
and to not ask him about any personal stuff.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Again. Huh.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
We had called him about whenever the house was put
up for sale. We had some experience with selling and
buying from Zillo. A realtor whom we thought was a
friend tried to buy our house from under us cheaply
and then sell out a profit whoa We went with
Zillo and said and made money. My big sister had
poo pooed our ideas and said that she would go through.
(24:54):
We knew a realtor too, but that didn't stop the
realtor from trying to cheat us.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
We said that if and when our.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Little sister moved out, we could house her until she
found a job, that we lived in a different part
of the state and there were jobs in her field
all around.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
It does sound like a good idea, although slight side
now it does seem like OPI has some real estate trauma.
Not all realtors are probably going to break your heart
like that, but you know, hey, I get it.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
Yeah, But that is interesting though too, because I do
get it in the way where it's like, well, like,
if the realtor snubs the sister, it's also snubbing all
the other siblings because they're all.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
Getting money, and that's also a difficult thing.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Is like, yeah, they agreed that she was going to
deal with it, but at this point, like, if they're
all getting equal pay for this, then I feel like
it'd be totally reasonable for someone else to just be like, hey,
I'm going to take care of this.
Speaker 4 (25:41):
I feel like it's more of a semantics or strategy
at that point. It's just like, hey, let's just freaking
sell the house.
Speaker 3 (25:49):
You know what I mean. But yeah, dude, that is
not good.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
In response to that, my big sister texted me five words, Nope,
not going to happen. That's so like aggress and vague
and like not gonna happen. That's the last communication she's
given me. She doesn't answer or return calls or messages.
Fast forward to over two years since my mother passed.
We have canceled two vacations, sold a car. Daughter in
(26:15):
college has to apply for loans to finish college, while
my sister has gone on trips, gone to baseball games,
and races, all while living by herself with two cars,
no rent, no job, and my big sister is bankrolling her.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Why why?
Speaker 1 (26:31):
Like?
Speaker 4 (26:31):
Also because the big sister, again, like you said, stands
to earn, gets a fifth of the house. Like, not
only are you, you know, lighting your money on fire
giving it to her, you're also losing the money from
the house.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
The house price was at an all time high back
in June. It has dropped seven percent in the last
thirty dates.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
Oh no, that's bad.
Speaker 4 (26:53):
I feel like a lot of places, it could be
like two percent a year, So that's like years worth
of value lost.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
In a post, Oh my god, I recently found out
that my sister had gotten a job, but only through
mutual friends posting on Facebook.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
My little sister has muted me.
Speaker 1 (27:08):
I found out the house was for sale only because
I have it saved on Zilla.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
What I never got to go say goodbye to where
I grew up. That's the saddest part.
Speaker 4 (27:17):
And you know what, the most tragic thing of all
is she ended up doing the thing that Opie wanted
to do all along, putting it on Zilla.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Yeah, it was that easy.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
It is listed through my big sister's realtorm. Once again,
my advice was ignored. I have sold and bought houses
both in seven days time.
Speaker 2 (27:34):
That's quick. Doesn't take three years or almost three years.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
I have a feeling my mom's house is going to
linguish on the market. My brother has come up with
a number that he's not going to budge on.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
I like that between the two of them. My older
siblings think that they know more than my husband and me.
For what it's worth, my husband is an attorney and
has bought, sold, and built more houses than my brother
and sister put together. You got expert in the family.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Interest in the house has dropped off sharply since the
first week.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Today.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
I got one notification on Facebook where my little sister
moved and now everything is muted again.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
My husband is muted too.
Speaker 3 (28:12):
Wait you're telling me she unmuted you just so you'd see.
Speaker 4 (28:15):
Oh, I moved out, I sold and got rid of
the house and then remuted you.
Speaker 3 (28:19):
That is some petty baby.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
If we have to cancel next year's vacation a cruise
so there are deadlines involved, my husband is going to
be so angry. I'm to the point where if my
siblings act like I'm a nuisance, then I just won't
be there for them to be annoyed by. Every month
the house doesn't sell is interest we pay on credit
cards that we could have paid off if the house
(28:42):
has had just sold out a reasonable time. But you
know what I think is always a reasonable time? What
is three pm PSC? Which is time to join us
on live on YouTube, Facebook and TikTok every single weekday.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Just have a profile, bye babe.
Speaker 2 (28:59):
But it is more to the story. But I think
we need to take a breather. This is just like
do you think going no contact would be the way
to go?
Speaker 4 (29:07):
So the one big issue is we do have the house,
which it does seem like will solve a lot of
op's problems. Yeah, they have some finance problems that it
seems like three years ago, which also like I'm a
little bit like it seemed like three years ago.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
It is like, oh, i'm a lawyer, I sold the house.
With that, Oh I'm a lawyer, I sold I sold
the houses. And then I'm like, low key, where's your
ready to know? But that's okay, I won't judge. We listen,
we don't judge.
Speaker 4 (29:33):
I guess you could argue that like there's such idiots
they're just gonna do it on their own time anyways,
and it's not worth fighting it.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Honestly, I feel like that might be part of it,
Like you might have to just be like, you know what,
I've accepted it at this point, because I also want
to know how much they would actually get from the house,
Like at a certain point that money runs out and
it's a fifth, right, and so it's like it's not
an income that they would be getting. They would just
get like one dose of money, you know. But if
(30:00):
it's a lot, then it would be able to fund
you know, a lot of different things. And I mean,
I guess going on vacations isn't the only thing, like
they also have to, you know, put their daughter through
college and stuff. But I do just wonder like how
fast that would run out with everything that they've been
like missing out on.
Speaker 4 (30:16):
It sounds like it'll change their life as in like
the way they're having to live life right now.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Yeah, for sure, for sure, because now they're just like
scraping by. It sounds like I'm beginning to wonder if
my little sister is slandering me on Facebook as our
mutual friends have become cagey about her whereabouts.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Honestly, I don't care anymore.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
It's too much drama, and I know Mom would be
upset by the way we're all treating each other. I
want my family back, because we're all we've got in
this generation. But I've had it with this drama. Should
I just go no contact? They have my address, they
can just mail me the check if the house ever sells.
Speaker 4 (30:52):
I am going to say, as my final final answer,
to go no contact, because I think it sounds like
the five wayt split is what's in the will, but
there's no time, there's no date, there's no designated person
to take care of it. All everything else was after
so it's like and that's why you check out your
wills and all your contracts.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
But that's the end of that story.
Speaker 6 (31:15):
My girlfriend's sister is gonna stay in our house for
weeks without informing me.
Speaker 5 (31:21):
Girlfriend's sisters step says step Bro.
Speaker 6 (31:24):
I'm stuck in the dryer. So my mail thirty and
my partner, female twenty six, live in a country far
away from both of our families. We live in a
tiny one bed flat which is for all intents and
all purposes, a studio glass partition wall. It's pretty cramped
even for two of us. I also pay all the rent.
(31:45):
My partner covers food and a couple of bills, far
less overall, and far less over the course of our
relationship due to meat or inconsiderably more. My girlfriend has
spent a couple of weeks seeing said sister in another country.
Her sister is doing some traveling and then had planned
to come and stay with us. I've been given no
dates and wasn't asked if this was okay or even
(32:05):
how I felt about it. By the way, this comes
from user midnight space Owl seventy six on the r
slash Okase storytime separated it. So I was pretty stressed
out about it. I work long hours in a stressful position,
which includes once a week on average, fourteen hour workshifts
and two sets of night shifts, so needing to sleep
during the day during the time she plans to come.
(32:26):
I'm a very introverted person and value my free space.
I would have to go to the bathroom to get
changed because of that glass partition. Again, it's a very tiny,
cramped space. I eventually told her how I was feeling,
explained that I absolutely wanted her to spend time with
her sister, but asked that we consider another workaround. She
was disappointed, but seemed to understand to some extent.
Speaker 5 (32:47):
Okay, all right, respecting boundaries.
Speaker 6 (32:50):
Communicating your feelings.
Speaker 5 (32:51):
Opie's covering all the spaces.
Speaker 6 (32:53):
Here good today. Before she boards her flight home, she
tells me she's sad that she's crying, and I ask why,
because she's good to miss her family. I'm like, well,
you're going to see your sister in again in a
few weeks. To what she responds with a screenshot of
her and her sister talking about how upset they are
that they just wanted to spend time together, but since
I'm stressed, then they will have to just cut their
(33:13):
time short together and how much this sucks for them.
Immediately after she's offline and on her flight. They have
just spent two weeks off work together and her sister
is planning on traveling for three weeks alone before coming here.
She just got a promotion which is doubling her salary.
I feel that it is so important to spend time
together with her sister, she should sacrifice some of her
personal travel time and pay for her accommodation here, and
(33:35):
my girlfriend could contribute what she can also.
Speaker 5 (33:38):
A little Girl's place Airbnb.
Speaker 6 (33:40):
You want to enjoy your trip. I mean, I know
you want to spend time together, but you want to
enjoy your trip, not make everyone stressed out.
Speaker 5 (33:46):
No, P is workhorse.
Speaker 3 (33:48):
He needs his rest, he needs his nappies.
Speaker 6 (33:50):
But no, it's my fault they can't have fun together.
I feel incredibly guilt tripped and annoyed that she didn't
even think to ask me or consider how I might
feel about this. If we had space, I would have
no problem. Her friends stayed last year for a month
when we had two bedrooms. I still don't even know
when she's planning to come for how long where she
will sleep our sofa is not big enough for an
(34:12):
adult to sleep on. Anyway, I wanted a bit of
a rant explaining how I felt about the whole situation.
Am I being unreasonable in thinking this is not cool?
And we have some Opie's comments and some comments.
Speaker 5 (34:23):
Comment below your thoughts, Kean, Is he overreacting a touch.
Speaker 6 (34:28):
If I'm in a tight space, like if there is
no other work around, maybe for the good day, like
maybe a good day or two great three days, Like
I said, let's make a work around here. I'm not
stop it, but try and find a better housing accommodation,
especially if she again just got a raise, or again
she's getting making some money, maybe even Airbnb or like
(34:48):
a hostile something like that nearby. It's gonna be better
for everyone because one, you're not gonna get upset, the
sisters shouldn't get upset. She's gonna be living in a
better spot, and then your wife or girlfriend, your partner
is gonna be like, okay, great.
Speaker 5 (35:02):
It just seems like op feels like he's being used
a little bit. He wouldn't have mentioned how much he
pays for the apartment and everything if he didn't feel
like he was being used.
Speaker 6 (35:10):
But yeah, this is also you're paying for a lot
of it. Again, if it was like for a day
or maybe two days, three days, stop it two days,
two days tops, bite your tongue. You're like, okay, I
can live with that. Yeah, yeah, But if it's for
like a full time I thought it was two weeks, well,
however long if it's more than that, where you're in
a tight, cramped place and you're like you're just making
you know, making this livable, adding a third person is
(35:32):
gonna make this very stressed out.
Speaker 5 (35:33):
Yeah, it's not worth it, not worth it for your peace.
Speaker 6 (35:35):
I was gonna say, you told your partner how you feel, yeah,
and they're still like, no, this is still happening. That's
not fair. We have some comments here. Commenter said, not
the a hole. Your partner invited her sister over despite
the logistical limitations without discussing with you first. It's your
home too. It doesn't seem like there's a budget issue,
as you've mentioned that your sister recently got promoted and
(35:56):
doubled her salary, which means sister could have booked a
nearby tell and your partner could have stayed with her
for a few days.
Speaker 3 (36:03):
Worst.
Speaker 6 (36:03):
I think is your partner throwing you under the bus
in her exchange with the sister instead of acknowledging her
part in creating this situation in the first place. OP says,
thank you for the reassurance. I think I was definitely
an a hole in some of the reactionary comments, and
I'll apologize for those, but I agree I don't think
I'm at fault for the root issue here, despite being
made to feel that I am a commis to her again,
(36:25):
not the a hole. I would be really frustrated and
upset if my partner tried to make a unilateral decision
like this for a shared space, especially one so tiny.
This kind of behavior comes across as inconsiderate and lacking immaturity,
especially given how she placed the blame on you rather
than taking accountability. I would have a sit down talk
with your girlfriend and really lay it out. Ask her
(36:46):
how she would feel if you invited a male friend
or brother to stay there, and how it would appear
that you expected her to just deal with the situation,
as uncomfortable as it might be. Ask her how considerate
that would be. Offer her no judgment, just try to
underst and help her understand why you felt the way
you felt. Opie says, thank you for the thought out response.
Definitely going to sit down and talk about it. Unfortunately,
(37:08):
I jumped right into sending a load of reactionary messages
which were immature in themselves. Thankfully we have been able
to understend them, and so I will be doing just
what you say and having no judgment to lay out
how I feel and why. Another commenter says, especially if
there's no way to close off the bedroom and main
financial provider needs to sleep during the day, the girlfriend
(37:28):
is being selfish and entitled for inviting her sister without
a conversation and agreement from her boyfriend, and then for
the guilt tripping. Opie says, this is what really got me.
Nights are hard enough in a relationship anyway. I'm also
in healthcare, so I really need to optimize my sleep
to be able to perform. I'm just baffled. Commenter states,
have you asked about her sleeping arrangements, because now I'm
(37:49):
curious how they think that would work. Opie says, yes,
she said she would sleep on the sofa, maybe one
night crashing on the sofa this size is doable, but
not for a few weeks. Yeah, or on the floor,
which would mean trampling her if we went to get water,
slash go to the bathroom in the night and have
to step over her in the morning to get coffee,
et cetera. Where this is not just enough space. I
(38:10):
can't even do yoga s less stretches aside because we
have no floor space.
Speaker 5 (38:15):
Dude, you need to move somewhere else, man, God take
real issues. I need to find a new place to live.
Speaker 6 (38:20):
Maybe they're just saving up. Again, you're living in somewhere
that doesn't seem it's very comfortable, even for one person.
So home is where the heart is.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
And I get it.
Speaker 6 (38:28):
You're getting stressed out. And there's another note here from
OPI there is a cultural difference. Her family is different
to mine and would often have much more communal living.
But she knows that this is different for me. A
commentser which is again also says downvoted. I understand the
space is small, but you're expecting her to drop her
cultural norms to fit yours, don't you see that's a
bit ironic. Op states, I don't think it is as
(38:51):
simple as asking her to drop her cultural norms. We
live in a very western lifestyle together, as does her sister.
I think her bringing up that it's normal for them
to live more communally is unfair. Her family and our
living slash work situations are entirely different. They don't live
in tiny one bit flats. If I visit her country,
I would be expected to adapt to fit in with
(39:12):
their lifestyle. And then we have another update.
Speaker 5 (39:14):
These are solutions. I'm still sicking to my hot take.
Speaker 6 (39:17):
I mean, you can't just okay, let's change our place
and no change your place. Okay, well you can't change
your place, So let's your next solution.
Speaker 5 (39:24):
All right, whatever OP said earlier.
Speaker 6 (39:26):
You can stay for like maybe a night, maybe two nights.
Speaker 5 (39:28):
Any more than that you're gonna burn out the workhorse.
Speaker 6 (39:31):
Yeah, it's not fair that this was not communicated to UOP,
and it should have been communicated and not, you know,
just kind of thrown under the bus.
Speaker 3 (39:39):
Update.
Speaker 6 (39:40):
Then this is the next day. I measured the couch
they had planned for her to sleep on, which I
told them isn't big enough. It's four or five in length.
She is five five. There is not enough floor space
for an air mattress or anything like that. It is
simply not feasible. To everyone who felt this was a
deal breaker slash relationship under that's kind of insane based
on the above information, I agree with those who suggested
(40:01):
that she was upset about any obstacles limiting her plan
and that she was somewhat blinded by excitement to the
reality of our situation. I get that. I've done similar
in the past. I don't think she was intentionally manipulating me.
I think she was upset and wanted express that. I
get it. She apologized for making me feel bad. I
accepted the reality of our living situation and is trying
to find workarounds. And you know what you can do.
(40:23):
You can find us live three pm PST every weekday
on YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, Twitch. Just tap that profile, tap it,
tap tap there is another relevant update.
Speaker 5 (40:38):
But disagreement that he's trying to find the best solution
for no need of breakup.
Speaker 6 (40:42):
No, no, no, none of that. I think he also
gets where she was coming from. She was just so
blinded by excitements like oh, sister's coming, like yes, yes, yes, yay.
But he's like, baby, be realistic.
Speaker 5 (40:54):
By about she can't got nowhere sleep biber.
Speaker 6 (40:57):
She ain't sleeping with us. We don't even have him
to sleep's. I think the solution is like, again, go
to a nearby hostel, hotel somewhere nearby if she needs
a crash on the couch, which is not even logistical
one night to night. It's clear that communication is really
key in relationships. Had there been clear communication prior, this
whole situation could have been avoided. The reason I came
(41:17):
to redd it rather than talk with her more is
because she was traveling for around twenty four hours and
she was offline. To those who suggested we talk without
judgment and just try and understand where both sides were
coming from, thank you. This is the way.
Speaker 5 (41:29):
He just wanted to hear that. That's all he needed.
Speaker 6 (41:31):
I guess he just wanted to speak it and like
wanted to get someone's advice and like what should I do?
And yeah, I know you're reasonable. I don't think you're
an a hole. I think again, communication is what was
missing here, but it was hard to communicate. Like you said,
I think your best thing is like, hey, maybe you
can help find them a place or find your sister
a place to get, you know, around the corner, and
then maybe go have a good dinner with her. And
(41:52):
your partner.
Speaker 5 (41:53):
And as the end of that story, I'm not going
to visit my mother in law ever again. She only
favors my.
Speaker 3 (41:59):
Brother in law.
Speaker 6 (41:59):
Favoritism makes the world spin.
Speaker 5 (42:01):
I twenty four female, and my boyfriend Nathan twenty six male,
have been together for six years. This year, we traveled
to his parents' house for Thanksgiving. For context, Nathan is
one of four brothers Alex single, Jack married to Joe, Nathan, Me,
and Luke married to Milly with a nearly two year old. Congrats.
(42:22):
Everyone lives out of state except for Luke and Milly
with a two year old. Nathan and I have the
longest drive at nine hours. By the way, this comes
from one Street fifty one on the r slash okay
storytime subreddit. So here's the issue. Nathan's parents, Mary and
John have only two gas bedrooms. Three couples tend to
visit at a time, meaning someone has to sleep on
(42:44):
an air mattress in between the rooms. The first year
I visited, I was told they would rotate who gets
the air mattress to keep a fair but after three
years on it, we were told it was now first come,
first serve. Okay, so we're changing the rules up a
little bit. Nathan's job doesn't allow much holiday. I already
know how it feels. I live this every day, so
(43:05):
we're almost always last to arrive and stuck on the
air mattress. While annoyingly we understood it seemed logical, this
year was different. Nathan and I got Monday through Thursday
off and would arrive first. I talked to Mary about
how we were finally gonna get a bedroom, and she laughed, saying, yep,
first come, first, serve boo. Milly, who I've grown close to,
(43:27):
knew we were thrilled about the prospect of getting a
bed this year. She even decided to come early too
so we could hang out, and we planned I'd take
the twin room, She'd take the queen Here's where it
gets frustrating. The day after we left, I texted Mary
are Eta. A few hours later, Milly texted me saying Luke,
who had spoken with Mary who mentioned Jack and Jill,
would get the queen room and Luke and Milly the
(43:49):
twin room, leaving Nathan and Me on the air mattress.
Speaker 3 (43:53):
Again.
Speaker 6 (43:54):
Oh that's not fair.
Speaker 5 (43:55):
I think Luke and Milly can have the queen room.
And Jack and Jill can get the air mattress.
Speaker 6 (44:00):
Oh they have a newborn, Yeah, the babies.
Speaker 3 (44:03):
You don't have a baby.
Speaker 5 (44:04):
Luke called Mary out, reminding her of the first come,
first serve rule, but she suddenly claimed she never said that.
Speaker 2 (44:12):
I never said that.
Speaker 5 (44:13):
You're probably acting crazy, you're probably undeads, and justified her
decision because Jack and Jill would be staying an extra day.
For context, Jack and Jill were arriving a day letter
than us, so this reasoning felt like an excuse. When
we arrived, Nathan brought up the rule again, but Mary
got defensive and claimed she didn't remember ever saying it
(44:33):
and refused to budge. I said several sarcastic comments as
I felt this was really unfair. I pointed out that
rules or rules until they didn't serve Jill, and that
we always do it a certain way until that means
Jill has to take the air mattress, and she could
come up with any justification, but that doesn't make it fair.
I even pointed out that it's silly for us to
(44:55):
now have to board out dogs and drive eight hours
before anyone else got here, just to change the rules. Now,
she had plenty of time to bring this up. With
our many conversations leading up to this, she became increasingly
sassy about the situation, leaving us feeling defeated and frankly
a little targeted. Am I the hole for speaking up?
Overthinking Mary unfairly changed the rules to suit Jack and
(45:18):
Jill and that we're always stuck with the short end
of the stick and we got a freaking update.
Speaker 3 (45:23):
Is that fair?
Speaker 6 (45:23):
It's definitely fair to bring it up.
Speaker 5 (45:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (45:25):
No, You've been abiding by these rules and you're like,
I'll play the game, I'll follow the rules, and then
when it comes to like your time to shine, are like, oh,
they haven't change the rules. It's not fair.
Speaker 5 (45:34):
That makes no freaking sense.
Speaker 6 (45:35):
I get it. Like if there's a newborn, then I'll
be like a little bit lenient, like, okay, someone does
deserve a room, but like this is like what's fair?
Speaker 3 (45:43):
Is fair?
Speaker 5 (45:44):
Yeah, it's pretty weird. Not gonna lie.
Speaker 6 (45:45):
You implemented rules for a reason. It's chaos if you
didn't implement the rules, and if we didn't follow the rules.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
Update.
Speaker 5 (45:52):
Later Monday night, Nathan spoke to his mom and we
did get the bed for one night before Jack and
Jill arrived. Initially, it was only offered for us to
move to the air mattress into the Queen bedroom for
the night, but Nathan pointed out that we were being
made to sleep on an air mattress when a bed
was readily available. The next morning, Nathan had to run
errands where we used to live before we moved. While
(46:14):
he was gone, I washed the sheets and had remad
the bed, even though Luke and Milly told me I
didn't have to wash them, just remake the bed. While
everyone in the family is very clean, Mary always insists
on washing the sheets between visitors, so I did it
out of respect to her preferences. Milli and Luke even
offered for us to take their bed. But honestly, it
wasn't just about the bed. It was about the promises
(46:36):
that were made and then retracted despite those rules being
in place for years. It was also about the gas
sliding and the fact that Mary didn't tell us ahead
of time, even though there were so many chances to
do so. As close friends to Luke and Milly, I
didn't want them to be put in the position of
being uncomfortable on the air mattress either. While I've never
had a child myself. I know your body isn't the
(46:58):
same afterwards, Actually you're back. We ultimately agreed to move
the air mattress into Luke and Millie's room since they
had a heater and it gave us a little bit
of privacy. We tried to make the most out of
the holidays, enjoy our time. They are despiding everything. Later,
Mary mentioned plans to get two pull out couches, one
(47:19):
for the area between the rooms and one for the
twin bedroom. While this was thoughtful, it still didn't address
the issue of changing the rules to suit others. She's like, Hey,
here's the real thing. Why are we not talking about that?
Why are we not talking about how much you love
brother in law?
Speaker 6 (47:36):
And not wait because you're not brother in law.
Speaker 5 (47:38):
All right, We'll stop talking about this air mattress and
get to the real thing. Hero p please. Mary has
already stated that we will have a bedroom for Christmas,
but if this promise is broken again, we won't stay
at their house in the future. Nathan and I have
decided that if we don't get a bed for Christmas,
we'll stay in a hotel. We're still planning on going
because it's Luke and Millie's son's birthday for Thanksgiving next
(47:59):
year if there isn't enough room or staying home. However,
Nathan and I are currently planning on getting a house,
and Luke and Milly suggested that once we do, we
could host Thanksgiving there. They said they'd love to attend,
which is exciting because Millie and I are both avid
bakers and love cooking. Whenever Milly and I bring dishes
to these gatherings, they're barely touched except by us and
(48:19):
our partners. We're also planning to visit Luke and Milly
more often. They are considering moving closer to the parents,
and when they host holidays in the future, will always
have a guaranteed place at their home. They have backups.
This is just the last time they will be either
on the air mattress or on the bed.
Speaker 6 (48:36):
They're saying put some respect on her name and the rules.
Speaker 5 (48:39):
To address popular questions for info in the last post,
Alex he doesn't come for Thanksgiving. He only saves days
off for Christmas. Also, he has rarely gotten put on
an air mattress. Only once that I remembered that it
was Luke and Millie's wedding when all four of us
bros used to come up for holidays. It was Alex
and the twin editors note twin bedroom. Luke pre married
(49:02):
her girlfriend on the air mattress in that room, Nathan
and I in between rooms, and Jack and Jewel in
the Queen Hotel. This house is in the middle of nowhere.
The closest decent hotel is about forty five minutes to
an hour.
Speaker 3 (49:14):
That's me.
Speaker 5 (49:14):
That's where I live.
Speaker 3 (49:15):
Oh wow.
Speaker 5 (49:16):
The main draw of visiting everyone except parents stay up
late evenings playing board games, D and D and drinking.
We used to do a wasted gingerbread making contests. As
for the distance to a hotel, that would mean missing
out on hanging out, and there are no ubers here. Also,
before we moved this year, we didn't stay as many
days and didn't mind staying on the air mattress one
(49:38):
to two to three days due to what had seemed
fair to us. Also, we're the second closest couple and
just didn't get as much time off, which always made
us last. Also, we didn't get a hotel this time
after the incident due to saving up for a house
slash wedding. We didn't have spare cash floating around. Honestly,
y'all know this economy and unexpected expenses, Milli and Luke
(50:00):
to live within the state barely is not feasible for
them to stay home or stay with them. Also, staying
with Milly's parents isn't an option. They don't get along
and interact with their child. Milly believes their child deserves
a relationship with his grandma, even if she doesn't have
a great relationship with her mom. Also, there's no room Mary.
This was completely out of character for Mary. In fact,
(50:23):
the only person anyone in the house has an issue
with is John. Mary is the one who wants all
of their sons home for the holidays and goes out
of her way to make sure we'll all attend. Usually,
Luke does believe the change was due to his dad,
and their mom was made the messenger because the mom
is usually a big person on fairness and mostly had
(50:43):
no issues other than the ones John pushed onto her.
This was also backed up by John's reaction to hearing
we stayed in the room for one night before this interaction.
Mary is one of four people that I've stated I'll
take a bullet for due to her normal kindness.
Speaker 3 (51:00):
Jack and Jill.
Speaker 5 (51:00):
Most in the house has an issue with them. Previous holidays,
they have thrown a fit due to us voting on
where to eat and none of us wanted to go
where they chose. They refuse to eat with us. Jill
was the main issue of this, and similar things have
happened every time. This year. Millie asked if we could
play the board game in their room one night, as
she was on the phone with her sister playing an
(51:21):
online game and we didn't have morech room due to
their mattress. Jill stated she wasn't willing to and either
it was in our room or they weren't playing. They
were also the reason we have two board dogs. Their
dog is aggressive and with a small child it's not safe. However,
if they aren't attending, we are allowed to bring our
dogs and you are allowed to attend us every weekday
at three pmpsday. We can go live on YouTube, Facebook, Twitch,
(51:44):
and TikTok. Just step our profile and we're probably live
right now. But these like complicated relationships happening here, It
just seems like.
Speaker 6 (51:52):
I think it's getting very over complicated now.
Speaker 5 (51:54):
Yeah, I feel like we're just kind of going on
the rant here. I'm just gonna finish.
Speaker 3 (51:57):
Up, Okay.
Speaker 6 (51:58):
I was just say like it seems like they already
have a plan, Like if they really want to just
not deal with it, it's like, all right, well it's a crapshoot,
Like we lose that ability, so we can do this
for a living situation or a better sort of stay situation.
I guess you can.
Speaker 5 (52:11):
Say exactly chronic illness slash pregnancy. For all the comments
about pregnancy, Jill is not pregnant. About health reasons, Millie
has some chronic illnesses they are still trying to figure out.
Jill is used to being overweight side, but has lost
a significant amount of weight in the last three years.
I have insomnia. Both Milli and I have bipolar disorder
(52:32):
and indo metrosis. I said it wrong. Tear me apart
in the comments. This inconvenience due to my period usually
hitting during the holidays. Wow, and that is the end
of the story. Yeah, girl, figure it out. I know
what it's like in this situation, being with complicated family
members and trying to figure out where to stay and
all that stuff.
Speaker 6 (52:51):
You have to make some sacrifices. It's either the sacrifices
you stay on an air mattress, which sucks, or you
lose some time and you gotta go live at a
hotel that's an hour away. Got to make sacrifices. And
that's just the true belief here that with this big family.
Speaker 5 (53:06):
But that's the end of that story. My in laws
didn't appreciate my dinner invitation, so now I'm getting them
back with AI. I sent my in laws and invitation
for dinner. We still really thought it would be nice
if it came from me. By the way, this comes
from zoo Keeper Game owned seventeen on the r slash
Okay storytime, sub bright religious greetings. Husband was thinking of
inviting you next weekend, God willing. Would that work for you?
(53:28):
Or do you have other plans?
Speaker 3 (53:29):
Yes or no?
Speaker 6 (53:30):
Yes, it's very simple, that's very okay cool.
Speaker 5 (53:33):
Ten minutes later, father in law called my husband to
tell him they wished the message had been longer and warmer.
Two to the point they want.
Speaker 6 (53:41):
A little bit uh, don't touch me a little.
Speaker 5 (53:43):
Bit of four plan man me a little excited there,
make me want a son in law.
Speaker 1 (53:46):
No.
Speaker 5 (53:47):
Husband agreed to let me know for next time. The
next day, father in law called again over something else.
Husband used the opportunity to point out they still had
it replied to my message. Father in law told them
they would not be replying to me until I fixed
it and made it warmer.
Speaker 6 (54:01):
Greetings, loved ones, please come to this dinner that I'm
cooking for you because we would love you there. Please,
we really need you there.
Speaker 5 (54:08):
Pull it up or not? That's what I would have done.
One for coming too for not.
Speaker 6 (54:11):
That's two arm. What is this guy's issue the fact
that you got invited to a dinner? Reading this, he
had invited to a dinner.
Speaker 5 (54:17):
They also pointed out that at my job, I have
to adopt a certain tone to be perceived as professional.
This is the same in a family context. Since they
wanted me to adopt the same strategies I used at work,
I figured I'd used chat GPT to get frustrating task
out of the way as quickly as possible. I showed
the AI my original message, told it my in laws complaints,
(54:39):
and told it to rewrite it in super warmly, as
if I would be perfect insert aniites daughter in law.
It came up with an absolutely ridiculous message with emojis everywhere.
I copied and pasted it and sent it right after
my last left on red invitation.
Speaker 6 (54:56):
Okay, all right, so it's.
Speaker 3 (54:58):
Like you wanted this to be professional.
Speaker 6 (55:01):
I'd see how professional this is.
Speaker 3 (55:02):
Are you coming or not? Yeah?
Speaker 6 (55:03):
Like, do you want to come or not? I don't
want to send the invite anymore?
Speaker 5 (55:06):
Come on?
Speaker 6 (55:06):
Was it a no? Is that like a note?
Speaker 5 (55:08):
Husband was okay with it, and we sent it together.
I first suggested to him I could write a genuine
message about my grievance this here, but he pointed out
I did so over another petty comment months ago, and
it led nowhere. We decided to go with the chat
GBT message minus some of the emojis. Father in law
works with AI. I have no doubts he can tell
this is chat GPT. This is funny. He's like, wait
(55:30):
a minute, I programmed this.
Speaker 6 (55:32):
It sounds like me talking.
Speaker 5 (55:33):
I put this made.
Speaker 6 (55:34):
That's the kind of message I want.
Speaker 5 (55:35):
Even mother in law will know. There is no way
either husband and I wrote this. I do kind of
feel a bit guilty about the passive aggressiveness of our response.
There is a very obvious cultural context here. I understand
my culture seems cold to them. The way there seem
over the top to me. But as God is my witness,
I have unsuccessfully tried everything to communicate with them. They
(55:57):
have ignored the new message, no phone call to my husband.
I don't want this to go nuclear. I just want
them to say sure, let's see you next week and
pretend to tolerate my cooking. Am I the a holt girl?
You were just trying to get a yes or no.
Speaker 6 (56:12):
Not these people, they're a petty They're like, do it again,
but with warmth.
Speaker 5 (56:15):
These people are like my freaking neighbors. Anytime a car
is parked wrong in the street, they're gonna be calling
the parking police.
Speaker 3 (56:21):
Hey, this car is parked wrong. You have to get them.
Speaker 6 (56:23):
I hate people like that. They're on such a high horse.
Speaker 5 (56:26):
Yeah, dude, they're like, this is the only thing you
have going on your day.
Speaker 6 (56:28):
You're that bored that you're like this greeting wasn't to
your benefit, to your standard.
Speaker 5 (56:32):
People that always are upset about something, go be grateful
about something. When's the last time you said three things
you were grateful for? But we got a freaking update.
I always here. A couple of weeks ago because my
in lost not find my dinner invitation warm enough. We
already know what happened. Mother in law did respond to
my second message, religious greetings, thank you for the invitation.
We will get together soon, God willing. It's not that hard,
(56:55):
that's their response.
Speaker 6 (56:56):
Okay, I mean yes, and we're not being petty.
Speaker 5 (56:59):
We're not being petty. Did not follow up and let
the invitation expire. They did not come. A bit after that,
we had a large family gathering at their place, my
husband's grandparents, his parents, their kids, and grandkids. I kept
the interaction with father in law and mother in law
to a minimum. I wass poly I greeted them, but
nothing more. I felt I had made enough efforts to
(57:19):
try to connect with people that did not respect me
enough to reply to a text message. In the past,
they have always used my lack of relationship with the
rest of the family against me. I was not close
enough to sister in law, nor did I not spend
enough time with the grandmother in law, and it was
proof I was not making any effort to integrate into
the family. I have tried to explain their family is
(57:41):
very large and it takes a while to build relationships
with tens of people who are already close knit. But
you might as well, try to convince some mountain to
move to a different spot. Well, not this time. The
younger kids have always been easy. They're not as set
in their ways, and they accept me very quickly. I
spent hours with the kids playing all over me. The
babies used to cry when they saw me. They hate strangers.
(58:04):
Not only have they stopped crying, they smile and play
with me now. My oldest sister in law also married
outside of their culture, so she's always been the most
empathetic since she knows what her husband went through with them.
My sister in law is a lot more like my
mother in law, hard one to win over, but even
she soften and now we are in a place where
we get along. The final blow, though, is where my
(58:26):
husband's grandparents. Father in law's parents are very conservative and
would have clearly preferred if he had married within the community.
The grandmother barely speaks a word of English. I'm not
what they wanted, but even they have moved on. They
hugged me and they were clearly happy to see me.
Between the facts I now feel comfortable with everyone else
(58:47):
and the fact I stopped even trying with them, I
guess it dawned on them that my problem was not
their family, it was them. It might seem like a
small thing to the readers here, but such a level
of actual awareness coming from them is nothing less than
a miracle from God in my eyes. After the gathering,
they are cold, husband again and asked if I hated
(59:07):
them and still held a grudge for the fact they
opposed us getting married for a long time.
Speaker 3 (59:13):
I had no idea.
Speaker 6 (59:14):
You thought that good communication skills.
Speaker 5 (59:17):
Husband and his infinite patients argued for hours with them
and try to explain that when you treat people unkindly,
they do not tend to love you back. He pushed
back on the idea I was punishing them and reminded
them I have tried very hard for months to get
along with them, and all I got for it was
criticism and ghosting. Whatever else said during that fight, it
(59:38):
seemed to have had some sort of effect. And you
can be effective if you join us live every weekday
through PMPST on YouTube, Twitter, Twitch, and Facebook. Just t
have a profile.
Speaker 3 (59:47):
We don't worry.
Speaker 6 (59:48):
Okay, Twitter's coming very very easy.
Speaker 3 (59:49):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (59:50):
Just go to every single one and check out for Live.
Speaker 6 (59:53):
There easy.
Speaker 5 (59:53):
So I'm glad they're kind of coming around here.
Speaker 6 (59:55):
I guess. But if this was the ongoing situation, they
should have been communicated with way sooner. The fact that
you tried to like all of branch. I know you
guys don't really like me, but I want to make
amends and I want to try to, you know, get
to know you guys. And and oh you chop the
olive branch by not touching it. I don't understand that.
Why do people got to be so ugh?
Speaker 5 (01:00:16):
Yeah? Yeah, But here's the end of the story. They
have stopped calling husband once a week to give a
detailed report of everything I have done wrong during the
last seven days. While they can still not accept to
see me wearing pants around them. They seem to have
given up on trying to convince us I should never
wear pants outside of my own house again. Twenty first
century reader may be confused by how this constitutes progress.
(01:00:37):
I'm grading on a curve here, and for her credit,
I think mother in law has taken the mental load
to try and fix the relationship. She's been the one
texting me, giving me news, and inviting us to a restaurant.
All the emotional labor that used to be mine. Father
in law is still a piece of work, but since
his parents now like me, not much he can say
or do. Ironically, his culture is now working for me.
(01:01:00):
It seems like we got a little happy ending here.
Speaker 6 (01:01:02):
Hopefully it looks like it's going in the right way.
That's the end of that story and the end of
that episode.
Speaker 5 (01:01:07):
So if you love us, make sure to subscribe.
Speaker 6 (01:01:11):
We love you and see you tomorrow.
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