I think my wife cheated on me…now she’s refusing a paternity test for “our” child! | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 2 (00:11):
John, I think it's time to give your mom the
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Speaker 1 (00:17):
That's right, Sam, It's day two of mother may I
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Speaker 2 (00:25):
We've got tales that'll make you say, wait, mom, does
that have another kid?

Speaker 1 (00:28):
And if you're new here and looking for our series
titled my husband has a secret son from a past partner,
just click the link in the show notes slash description,
or search mother May I, Okay Storytime wherever you get
your podcasts. I think my wife cheated on me. Now
she's refusing a paternity test for our child. Yeah. In
air quotes hour, my male forty four wife Cynthia forty

(00:50):
one female and I have been married for almost fifteen years. Wow.
I raised her older children as my own. We have
two kids together and one that she just gave birth to,
but I won't sign the birth certificate until I get
a DNA test.

Speaker 3 (01:03):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
By the way, this comes from Miserable Streets seven seven
seven on the archost Okay storytime saw about it. So
back in twenty fourteen, we had a huge crisis due
to her infidelity. You see, her affair partner was her supervisor,
and I only found out when she was abruptly fired
and the company filed a case against her for allegations
that I won't discuss you.

Speaker 4 (01:22):
Oh, wow, mysterious undiscussable allegations. Okay, her supervisor was a
co defendant. She had to come clean about the whole thing,
including she had an affair that lasted two years.

Speaker 1 (01:33):
Oh. I completely lost all trust in her. I requested
paternity tests on our kids together. They are mine, got
a lawyer and moved out. Wow. I eventually forgave her
and tried to move on because the pain of breaking
up our family and not seeing the kids every day
was unbearable. We had a very good run until now
our relationship fell stronger. The spicy sleep was spicy h literally,

(01:57):
as you said, until now, the spicy great. I felt
like she was the woman I fell in love with,
and I was very happy that I had given us
another chance this is going to end so well. Years ago,
her best friend, Dana female forty two, cut her off.
They were friends since grade school, but Dana abruptly ended
the friendship, changed her number, and even blocked me and

(02:18):
our older kids everywhere. Cynthia expressed sadness about it for
years and often talked about Dana like a true sister.
When my wife got pregnant with this last baby, she
got very depressed about everything. Dana was her go to
person in case of emergency, so I thought that maybe
some type of closure would help. I managed to get
Dana's contact information from a friend in common and asked

(02:39):
if she'd be willing to talk hole chat contact Dana
or nah contact contact or not contact or not. I'm
curious to hear your thoughts. Again. Dana kind of blocked everything,
but to my surprise, she was interested. The conversation wasn't
what I expected. She called me a flying monkey. She
called you a what had me young? And she called
me a flying called you, which again means someone that

(03:04):
helps exacerbate, someone who helps the wicked witch from the
Wizard of Oz. Yeah, we go, thank you, and said
I ought to be ashamed for enabling my wife. She
said she was absolutely fed up with Cynthia and that
she had abandoned the friendship because she got tired of
feeling like a tool, always having to do favors and
being generally at my wife's service. She said she was
unable to share anything because my wife only talked about herself,

(03:27):
and that my wife ailed to ever thank her for
gifts and other things, but kept raising the bar and
asking for more and more stuff from her. Oh that's dude,
what is she just like giving her stuff all the time?
She's like, up? What is this friendship? Is that Tina?

Speaker 5 (03:41):
Again?

Speaker 1 (03:42):
Tina just keeps popping up in our stories. She keeps
changing her identity to get more out of other people.
Data mentioned having attempted a slow fade, but my best friend,
Gary Mail forty eight stepped in and put her off tremendously.
I didn't know this. I didn't know Gary was sent
so make me tired, said by my wife to talk

(04:02):
to Dana out of restricting their time together when her
best friend became distant, and that he pressured her and
tried to force her to contact Cynthia, and that this
resulted in a complaint against him because his messages were
becoming menacing and hinted at sending her spywear. Hey, buddy,
maybe get it back on the rails. Dude, what are
you doing? What is wrong with everyone in Opie's life?

(04:24):
This is his whole circle is poisoned.

Speaker 5 (04:26):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (04:27):
I know Gary can be intense, but never like this.
He works in it. So the spyware apart is not
entirely impossible. Dana and Gary never had any prior contact
to this data cut off everyone out of distrust and
because she did not pursue a complaint against him with
the authorities, she sent me evidence, horse cap number and receipts.

Speaker 6 (04:45):
Okay, sounds like she's got She's got receipts, she's got evidence.

Speaker 1 (04:49):
Does your wife suck? Yes?

Speaker 6 (04:51):
Is that?

Speaker 1 (04:51):
Is that what we're looking at right now? And not
in the good way? You heard him?

Speaker 7 (04:55):
For the record, Hey, you I'm hurt because not only
did he get in trouble for trying to help my wife,
but he actually got into a serious situation and it
was kept a secret from me.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
I confronted him and he said that he was just
trying to help. I was just trying out, buddy, Sorry,
I was just trying to spine, your friend for you,
my bad, my bad partner. I'm sure a flawless impression. Gary,
Stop it, Come on, Gary. I confronted my wife and
she said she was desperate because Dana had always been

(05:29):
her main support system. This did it for me. I
don't care how many times my wife says nothing else
is going on. I have no way to erase the
idea that they might be hiding other things. The fact
that Cynthia managed to get Gary to do something that
he knows is illegal, and that he went too far
trying to please her makes me wonder about things. Also,
during our entire conversation, Dana insisted that Cynthia is a

(05:49):
black hole of a person and that she was disgusted
that not only my wife had been using her for years.
I would not think of anything of engaging third parties
to enable herself to keep extracting benefits for whoever she
wants to make matters worse. I asked if she knew
that my wife had cheated, and she said yes, and
that it played a part in her disowning her. I
will not even be able to go back to talking

(06:10):
with Dana because she made it clear that she wants
nothing further. Now, back in the day, I thought Gary
looked off, but when I asked, he said it was
about him separating from his ex and that he was
bummed out. So I talked to Cynthia about it, and
I told her that I reached out to Dana and
what she said. She looked horrified. We went over that
for days until I couldn't take it anymore, and I

(06:31):
finally asked if she and Gary had any time of
inappropriate involvement. I have a trade proposal. Talk to me.

Speaker 6 (06:41):
I'm gonna trade you what I thought was gonna happen. Yes,
for what I'm thinking now is gonna happen.

Speaker 1 (06:45):
Please, please, sir. She'd be cheating with that man. She'd
be cheating with that man. She'd be cheating. She be
cheating with that man. I just thought, Hey, that's a
trade proposal. Then what's my What do I get out?

Speaker 6 (06:58):
I think my my previous theory was that she was
just generally unlikable.

Speaker 1 (07:04):
I think you get that. Where's the quinn in my
pro quo? Also, now I feel that maybe her depression
over Dana wasn't real. Maybe she wanted to use that
so I couldn't accommodate her with whatever she wanted. I
requested a paternity test on the new baby, and she
flat out said no, what any innocent person would do.

(07:24):
She threatened to divorce me. This is why I moved
out weeks before she gave birth. I refused a drive
her to the hospital or be at the birthing room.
All I'm asking is for confirmation that it's my child
and she is an acting cooperative. She tried to deny
Dana's complaints to the authorities despite me offering evidence. Gary
has apologized for keeping secrets, but he's denying ever sleeping
with her.

Speaker 6 (07:45):
I'm gonna say that that's a lie. Ooh, whoa, Gary's
lying crazy.

Speaker 3 (07:53):
Oh, they're all telling the truth here, guys. Everyone's honest
and is a good person.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
Yeah. Yeah, the lies from before, they don't cow, they don't. Yes,
this is a joke that history cannot predict the future,
right man? No, it never does. Yeah, nothing, that history
doesn't repeat itself. It's the worst that history never repeats itself.
That's what they always say.

Speaker 5 (08:15):
That's what they always say.

Speaker 6 (08:16):
That's what I and I only know what they say
right now because I'm not a student of history.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
I'm anxious, but sometimes I get very numb and wonder
if I'm being crazy. I understand that Dana was very
right to act the way she did, but I have
no evidence of cheating or an affair between Cynthia and Gary.
This has affected my health and sometimes I feel that
the less I see or hear from Cynthia, the less
chances to get an anxiety or panic attack. By the way,
if you want to avoid any sort of anxiety in

(08:43):
your life, then guys, we have full episodes of stories
just like these. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or
your favorite podcast platform and type in okay, storytime, anxiety guard,
Am I right? Chat poof, poof gone?

Speaker 3 (08:56):
You're always right, John.

Speaker 1 (08:56):
These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. They've
been valuated by me. Yeah, which is a fact, which
is all that matters. Stay up of John approval. But
let's uh, let's let's let's talk about this. So who
uh we got a lot going on here now. Oftentimes
in these stories, when when the when the guy, usually
the guy goes on some red pill, you know, forums

(09:19):
and is like, my child is not mine, and uh,
I need a paternity test. It's exactly it, right, But
question dear Dakota in this case with with proven court documents,
Actually no, I think I think it's.

Speaker 6 (09:41):
Like, are there possible reasons for her to outright reject
getting the test, the paternity test, like sure, but throwing
the divorce ultimatum on top. Yeah, where it's like if
it's like, oh, well, if then I will divorce if
we do it, then it's like, well then shouldn't you
already want a divorce now? If you're already willing to divorce,

(10:01):
shouldn't you just divorce because he wants to?

Speaker 1 (10:03):
They like it.

Speaker 6 (10:04):
It feels like it's like a threat so that I'm like, stop,
stop looking into this immediately, she stop, or I'll divorce you.

Speaker 1 (10:10):
Yeah. And also, you've just had so many stories where
like from like the woman's perspective where she was like, hey,
my husband went on the red pill forums. He's saying this,
and she's like, while I am immensely offended, I want
to absolutely prove you wrong. So yes, I will take
the test. But it is you know, it's so painful
that you're doing. I feel like if that was the case,

(10:32):
I feel like her response would have been at least
more like that way different it would have been where
it would not have been divorce. No, yeah, no test divorce.
It would have been like, Okay, where is this coming from?
And also you're an idiot? Yeah obviously, Opie says. My
family knows that we are separated and are showing divided opinions.

(10:54):
Some say that I am impulsive, and then I'm jumping
to conclusions they didn't know about her cheating years ago.
I'm not meeting the new baby until she can prove
my paternity. She's having health issues related to post birth.
I'm present for my kids and haven't skipped on my duties,
but told her either to have a relative come help
her out or move to their place temporarily because I
will not be helping her in any way until this

(11:14):
is resolved. She says that I'm being abusive and that
being alone in the maternity ward was humiliating. Am I
the ahole? And we have a few cook edits edit
for grammar nice Edit number two to add that Gary
hasn't been proactive and is very silent now. At at
number three, my wife says that she won't agree to
the DNA because I'm ruining our marriage. Well, we do

(11:37):
have some comments here. Comment number one even if the
baby is yours, you need to get therapy and divorce
your wife. Your wife seems like a terrible person, and
Dana was right when she called you an enabler. A
reply from another commenter, why would his wife refuse a
DNA test unless there was a chance the baby isn't his?
He needs therapy and a lawyer for sure. Another reply.
If I had a history of cheating and my husband

(11:58):
asked for a DNA test on my baby and I
knew I didn't currently cheat, I'd happily do it knowing
he was the father. She's a shady bee. Comment number two.
Request for a judge to make her give you the
portunity test, and please after that divorce, you can take
care of your children even without her. Someone replies, can
you just cut a straight a hair off the baby

(12:19):
and have it tested? Or do you have to draw
blood for these tests? Comment number three not the ahole.
Your marriage is over, regardless of the babies is yours
or not. She is a lying, manipulative, untrustworthy person. Get divorced,
Get rid of Gary too. Comm At number four, your
marriage is over, dude, Get a divorce that sounds like
us and that's it. That is the end. Your marriage
is over, dude, get a divorce.

Speaker 5 (12:41):
My family ignored and excluded me because of my diagnosis.
Now they're reaching out too little, too ags, like.

Speaker 6 (12:48):
The stinky crawlers are crawling back.

Speaker 5 (12:52):
I was recently diagnosed with autism earlier this year, at
thirty two years old. Prior to my diagnosis, I had
always felt that there was something off of me, but
as a high masking woman, I always assumed it was
just a personality deficit. Some of my symptoms include noise sensitivity.
By the way, this comes from dam legs no and
if you want to submit your own stories, good our
slashokey story time separate it. So over the last few years,

(13:15):
my ability to mask had decreased, and it became harder
and harder to function appropriately in my immigrant household. Due
to some administrative issues with my medical school, I had
to move home for a year before returning for clinical rotations.
During this time, I was increasingly stressed and focused on
completing my research assignments and working my part time job.
In order to cope, I used to wear my AirPods

(13:37):
around the house, to which my parents would call me
blatantly rude. I would sequester myself to my room and
try to avoid upsetting them in one way or another.
But this became an issue as well, stating I was
in my own world and that I'm not actively participating
with my family. My mother even asked, what do you
even contribute to this family? When they would yell at
me and call me stupid, I would shut down, well that.

Speaker 6 (13:58):
Hey, yeah, they that certainly sounds like a fun time.
Why wouldn't you want to do more of that?

Speaker 1 (14:04):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (14:04):
No, I don't think this is a healthy environment. When
they asked me to explain my behavior, I would get
nervous and have issues verbally communicating. I would take too
long to speak and they would just yell at me
or make fun of me for the thirty second pauses
I would take before responding. During one conversation, my father
would call me a dangerous person because I was getting
confused with the issue at hand and brought up an

(14:25):
issue I thought was relevant. During one of my shutdowns,
I failed my board exam The same day my dog
got attacked and was in the hospital. I had a
really hard time functioning. My mom kept asking me about
the exam and why I couldn't get it together. As
well as an upcoming test date, and I told her
I didn't want to talk about it. So my family
collectively decided to ignore me for three days.

Speaker 6 (14:48):
Oh my god, you guys might be the reason Op's
so stressed.

Speaker 5 (14:53):
Alsis you guys suck? What's wrong with you? My dad said,
if it were up to him, they would have ignored
me for a whole week. At the beginning of the summer,
my mom had gotten a neat replacement. During this time,
I was studying for my step exam med school exam,
so I was always wearing my AirPods listening to study material.
In between question blocks, I would come see if my
mom needed anything. My parents wouldn't coordinate with me when

(15:16):
I was needed to take her to PETE. I was
just told that I should have known and been okay
with dropping everything to take her wherever and whenever she
needed to go somewhere. Mind you, my exam was within
a week. When I told my mom I needed to
study and didn't have time to go grocery shopping, stay
out for a long lunch, and stay for the full petee,
I was told I didn't respect her or care for her.

(15:37):
She and my dad told me I was a poor
excuse for a daughter. Oh my god, your parents suck.
My parents said I was a bad sister because even
though I drove three one way hours after work at
four am to her graduation, prepped and decorated for her
grad party, I should have had a speech prepared. I
couldn't do it. I was surrounded by a bunch of

(15:57):
people and I was grossly overstimulated. I wanted to be supportive,
and I thought by planning and organizing her party that
would have been enough. Yes, it should have been, yeah,
but it wasn't. At the end of the summer, my
family collectively decided that I was a crappy person who
deserved to be alone. Luckily, by that time, I had
moved out of state to start my clinical rotations. I
was away from home for three months. During that time,

(16:19):
I had spoken to them a few times, but I
got overwhelmed with school and keeping up with responsibilities of
living back on my own. No one called me. I
had to call that. During winter break, I came back
to my hometown but stayed with my boyfriend so I
could study for my shelf exam. The day after my exam,
my boyfriend proposed, Yeah, exctly, and I called and texted

(16:39):
my family to tell them the news. They were excited
in the extended family group chat, but didn't answer any
of my calls. Christmas Eve, I texted to see when
they would be home so we could hang out. They said, sorry,
they're busy Christmas busy. Then day after Christmas, I texted
my mom to see when I could bring their presence
over and she agreed to.

Speaker 6 (16:59):
Me, I'm confused what you're busy doing Christmas?

Speaker 1 (17:04):
On Christmas?

Speaker 6 (17:04):
What do you mean the thing that business trying to
be involved with you?

Speaker 5 (17:08):
I don't get Yeah, she said, the entire extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins,
we're all celebrating the holidays at our new vacation house
in Mexico, twenty minute drive away. She said that if
I had been a better communicator, maybe I would have
been invited, but I wasn't.

Speaker 1 (17:22):
She quite literally asked, you, Hey, what are what are
we doing?

Speaker 6 (17:26):
And you said no, we're busy. So you actually excluded
Opie purposefully, And now you want to make it seem
like what it's it's Oh Pea's fault that they didn't go.

Speaker 3 (17:36):
Come on, the family's being a real Tom petty right now, now, this.

Speaker 6 (17:39):
Is the moment when I would say, hey, this is
where we learn how to let things roll off our bag. Right. Clearly,
your family is like wants nothing to do with you,
and it's not your fault. So you just move on
with your life and let these people come crawling back
to you.

Speaker 1 (17:53):
Right. You don't know how you say? You gross? No,
thanks to stay on the ground.

Speaker 5 (17:56):
I wasn't invited to my family's holidays celebration because I
didn't specifically ask what the family was doing for Christmas
to New Year's. I didn't celebrate my engagement with anyone
in my family. I cried the whole week. I have
always felt different. I never knew what to say or do.
I never knew how to behave or withstand my sensitivities.
I have a hard time communicating verbally or even defending myself.

(18:19):
After all of this, I sought out a diagnosis, and
to no surprise of my own, I do in fact
have autism. But now that I have this realization, what
do I do? How can I fix myself?

Speaker 1 (18:30):
No?

Speaker 5 (18:30):
I haven't spoken to anyone in my family except my
mom twice since then. How can I explain to them
that I didn't do any of that to be mean
to them. I don't want to use autism as an excuse,
but as context to my actions. How with this context
do I get them to love oh sush like me again.
I don't even want to plan a wedding because I
feel like an orphan. It's been six months since they

(18:51):
have spoken to me, but yesterday I received a text
message letting me know that they would be in my
city due to a long layover, and that they I'm
assuming just my mom to come see me. I'm not
sure if I can handle seeing them. I don't particularly
want them in my home. I don't want to have
them in my safe space. If I say no, is
that them giving themselves AMMO? I don't know what they
want or why they decided to contact me. I don't

(19:13):
even know what to say if I do agree to
see them. I'm so angry, so confused, and so hurt.
I have so many important things coming up, and I
don't want to be a shell of myself because I
have to deal with family stuff. Should I see them
and there is an update now? No, I honestly think
that right now you haven't done anything wrong. There is
nothing to fix you are. This is you, This is

(19:34):
just who you are, and your family doesn't want to
accept or even like try and understand you. And if you,
I think, if you want to have a relationship with them,
at some point you could say in response to this
request to meet up with you, you could say, hey, you
guys have like been very disrespectful and very hurtful and
you know, hurt my feelings many many times, and I

(19:56):
don't want to see you this time. Maybe in the
future that will change, but right now, you guys have
you know, not earned that something along those lines where
you communicate to them what they've done, but you also
make sure that your emotions and your mental health is okay.

Speaker 6 (20:10):
But there's enough to Yeah, I would just focus on
my relationship with my new husband if I was opening. Yeah,
there's there's nothing you need to salvage there. It's like
I know, culturally, a lot of times there's there can
be a lot of huge emphasis on family and that
it's like this the obligation that cannot be broken no
matter what. But it's like these people have given you

(20:30):
nothing but like.

Speaker 1 (20:31):
Grief for you just being who you are, and.

Speaker 6 (20:36):
You wouldn't be the one sort of throwing that relationship away.
It would it was them their actions eroded your relationship
with them to a little nub of nothingness. And if
you put this this dynamic in the context of anything
that wasn't family, immediately it would be like, well, of

(20:57):
course you're not gonna if these were your like friend group,
of of course you would not be hanging out with
these people again. Yeah, of course you wouldn't give them
the time of day. Just because they're like sharing your
DNA doesn't excuse the way that they've treated you, or
that they will likely continue to treat you. So I
would say, just move on in peace.

Speaker 5 (21:12):
That's my take a fair but there is an update.
I first want to say thank you to everyone who
commented and DM me with advice and support. I definitely
carried your support with me into the meeting. I also
want to say sorry for the late update. I was
emotionally burned out that I didn't even start to process
what happened until yesterday. Anyway, here is what My parents
arrived in the morning to my area. I took you

(21:35):
all's advice and decided to meet them in a neutral
space a tea shop, as I suspected my father did
not come. My mother's excuse was that he had to
stay and watch the luggage, apparently it wouldn't have fit
in an uber. When my mother arrived, she seemed excited
to see me and was trying to update me on
their vacations. She just why we didn't meet at my house,
and I stated that I was too busy at the
hospital to stay at home. Waiting for about fifteen minutes,

(21:57):
she kept trying to get me to tell her updates
about my life, life and current school deadlines, just more
small talk that kept going around in circles. She remarked
on my engagement ring and said she had only ever
seen in photographs. I reminded her that she did in
fact see it when I came to visit in December,
two days after proposing, but she wasn't interested in it.
Then she then tried to take my car and filled

(22:19):
up my gas tank and order food so I would
have groceries. I declined both, since one of her favorite
insults is that I only care about money and that
I wouldn't have gotten this far in my schooling without her.
I kept getting more and more frustrated with the topics
and finally just asked why she came. She acted surprised
and said, why wouldn't I come see you if I
was in town?

Speaker 6 (22:39):
Do you want the cliff notes or do you want
the entire laundry list of reasons.

Speaker 5 (22:44):
I lost it, I said, after the way things were
left in December, my engagement in being left out of
Christmas and New Year's I was shocked that she would
come see me and act like nothing happened. My mother
was gobsmacked, like surprised Pikachu face. She said she was
shocked that I left the conversation in December feeling badly,
and she didn't think the meeting went poorly, as a
good medical student does. I elicited her perspective to see

(23:07):
how she perceived Christmas to Ucohn. She said she wished
I was there, but it was just a misopportunity. I
let her know that because of that conversation, I had
decided I wasn't interested in being a part of a
dysfunctional and abusive family. I brought up all the scenarios
I mentioned in the original post and said that nothing
that I did warranted that level of abuse. I told
her that I already know how this conversation will pan

(23:28):
out her crying and expecting me to comfort her and
apologize for making her upset, as well as telling my
dad I was disrespectful and for him to bang on
my door at night just to yell at me and
call me names. I told her that if she's going
to continue to act surprised, she can just call an
uber and leave. I told her that all of the
verbal abuse and name calling I no longer wanted to

(23:48):
participate in. I gave her all the examples of how
she co signed the abuse, and she had nothing to say.
She then tried to take all of the negative statements
she had said and correct them, saying I'm not stupid
and that I'm family oriented, but she only applied it
to my cousins, not my parents or sisters. I asked
her if she had taken the time to understand my
diagnosis to what she said, well, I looked a little

(24:10):
into neurodiversions, but not autism specific. A little background here.
My mother is also a counselor and therapist. Yeah, not
a very good one.

Speaker 1 (24:19):
She's double me.

Speaker 6 (24:20):
She's I'm conspiracy, She's lying right now, She's probably she
probably knows exactly how to God. She she probably has
all of the sort of point A, point B, point cee,
how to manipulate somebody who has, you know, your diagnosis
right where it's like, oh, actually, no, you just misunderstood
what was going on in December. So no, I'm not
even mad. It was just a missed opportunity. So now

(24:41):
you're negating the negative experience that was happening. You're trying
to make it like it never happened, and you're trying
to make ope go, oh wait, did I misinterpret that?

Speaker 1 (24:48):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (24:48):
I guess I wasn't the wrong. Oh, I guess my
mom is right. I guess my mom is good. And
instead she's like, actually, I'm very confident in my ability
to perceive what had happened in the past. Exactly, I'm
not gonna let you rewrite it right now, and you're gonna.

Speaker 5 (24:59):
Let her Uh. I brought up how she said I
was a bad daughter and that I had missed so
many opportunities to be a good daughter. I said, and
just like I missed opportunities, so did you. I let
her know that when I was struggling with my mental
health and was dealing with wanting to take my life
a few years back, I had, in fact attempted to
do it, although she knew my whole family knew, she

(25:20):
never checked in on me and my mental health, instead
asking me why I never inquired about our new job
in our recent move. Her response has actually eft with
my brain, my heart, my soul, my sense of importance
to anyone. She said, oh, yeah, I need a pass.
On that year, there were a lot of things going on.
I paused and said, I'm going to say back to
you what you just said. I tried to unlive myself,

(25:44):
and you said you need a pass in twenty eighteen
because you had a lot going on. She doubled down,
then said, oops, am I talking too much? I realized
at that moment I wasn't going to reach her ever.
I told her I'd tried to unlive myself and needed her,
and she said she needed a pass for a no
being there. She was so delusional and ignorant to the
entire fallout. I don't think she could even process there

(26:06):
was a serious cognitive dissonance that didn't allow her to
be honest about the situation. She then apologized for causing
so much harm and suffering and said she was seeing
a therapist and what's going to do that work.

Speaker 3 (26:16):
She's seeing herself in the mirror. Yeah, she's like, you're
a good mom, You're a good mom.

Speaker 1 (26:21):
Mission complete.

Speaker 5 (26:22):
I told her, I'm opting out of contact until she
actually does the work, which is very smart, and you
guys can do the work. To listen to full episodes
of stories just like this, just go to Apple Podcasts,
Spotify or your favorite podcast s app and search up.

Speaker 1 (26:36):
Okay, storytime super easy, easy.

Speaker 5 (26:38):
Easy, But there is a little bit left to the story.

Speaker 6 (26:40):
Yeah, I think clearly. I wouldn't even say, like, open
up your I would say go no contact. It's probably
hard for you to see it from that perspective because
it's like you are her daughter and she's your mom.
But like from an outside perspective, at least to me,
it's like she seems like she's like just turbocharge, Yeah,
manipulating you, like like you were her little puppet that
she used to make dance around, like to that level.

(27:02):
And it's like, no, thanks, you can completely cut her out,
you are, Yeah, flick her away, get her out of there.

Speaker 5 (27:08):
I told her it wasn't my responsibility to teach her
about my disability nor where she went wrong. In her relationship.
She asked if I would call more, and I said
she needs to do the work. I sent her on
her way and then cried in the car the whole
way home. Still haven't heard from her since. My feelings
are all the way art. I just feel bad as
bad as I did in December. I don't know what

(27:29):
I was thinking, but I was let down. I think
I need to let the hope pass away. I'm going
to go forward on wedding planning without the hope of
having my family present. Sorry for the jumbled mess. I'm
still a bit shaken, and that is the end of
that story. But yeah, I think right now it is
best to just kind of limit any like most of
her contact with your parents until they do that work

(27:51):
and show you that they deserve to be in your life,
because right now they don't.

Speaker 8 (27:55):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (27:55):
I don't know if the mom will ever.

Speaker 5 (27:57):
Yeah, it might not ever happen, which is very sad.
But you have your partner who seems like a good
person and is on your side, and just see, Yeah,
I know that your your parents are not going don't
seem capable of apologizing or understanding what they did wrong.

Speaker 2 (28:13):
Hey, it's Sam, We're gonna get back to the stories,
but here's three minutes of bads from our sponsors.

Speaker 6 (28:17):
My mother mocked me for wanting to wear a suit
to prom, so I defended myself.

Speaker 1 (28:23):
Good.

Speaker 5 (28:23):
You probably looked so much better than her, and she
was jealous.

Speaker 6 (28:26):
For context, I am in my last year of high
school and I'm going to be having my prom at
the end of the year. Many have already started looking
for or have bought what they will be wearing. I
usually am not a big fan of dresses, as I'm
not very comfortable wearing those. By the way, this comes
from user tired lol l and if you want to
submit your own stories, go do it at the r
slash Okay story time Sabreddit. So now I know that

(28:49):
compared to others, I'm not really what you would call overweight,
but I know I am fall from skinny and have
always had issues with my image from a young age,
though in the last few years I've lost a bit
of weight, but not necessarily in the healthiest ways. Added
to the fact that I've often been made fun of
for my weight and how much I eat, not only
by kids at school, but also my family, including my mother. Yeah,

(29:10):
the more I was looking through pictures of dresses and
prauma tires, the more I realized that wearing one of
those would be an issue for me and my self esteem.
While looking, I came across this image of a girl
wearing a darkish red suit with a black corset as
a top instead of a blouse type prom suits women
in Pinterest and you should find it, and so far
that's really been what I've been set on wearing.

Speaker 1 (29:30):
Sophia's immediately gone. So I really like it.

Speaker 6 (29:33):
It's in my style, and since it's a corset, I
think I should be comfortable with myself wearing it since
it would hide my body more than a dress wood
And anyway, I've always been more comfortable with jumpsuits and pants,
et cetera. And that's a known fact to people around
me now. My family is very religious and not very
open minded regarding many topics, especially my grandmother with whom
we live. I've tried bringing the topic up to my mother,

(29:56):
but every time she hasn't taken me seriously and instead
makes jokes about it, or has simply ignored me and
been telling me we.

Speaker 1 (30:02):
Should go out to look for dresses.

Speaker 6 (30:04):
A few days ago, I tried bringing up the topic again,
but she mostly just made fun of me and dismissed me.
My grandmother got involved, and my mother summed up the
situation to her in only one sentence in a way
that I know she knew would get a reaction out
of her. She wants to wear pants at her prom.
You know what, that is the weirdest thing about like
really conservative like Christianity to me, women can't wear pants

(30:27):
literally Like it's it's really see like it's weird, it's
vis strange. It's not even like it's the first time
she has done something like that. She often tries to
manipulate the situation to get my grandmother on her side
and make me look bad in front of her because
she knows how much my grandma loves me. Unfortunately for me,
it works. Let's just say it wasn't a fun night
for me, but my mother, oh, she was all smiles.

(30:50):
Fast forward to yesterday. I was still upset at my mother,
not just because of the whole prom situation, but just
for her overall behavior with me in the last few
months the things mentioned before, never apologizing for making me
visibly upset, even after telling her that she has upset
or hurt me, always having something negative to say about me,
my interests, and my choices, forcing me into close I

(31:11):
hate for multiple events, and going to get a hairstyle
I said I didn't like for my graduation picture. A
few weeks ago, while I was getting dressed like I
was in underwear, she came to me, trying to joke
around and hug me, knowing that I don't like hugs
and often ask her not to. When she noticed I
still looked upset, she asked me, laughing if I was
actually mad because of yesterday? Why are you so bad

(31:31):
at being cool?

Speaker 5 (31:33):
You're really bad at being in parent?

Speaker 8 (31:34):
Why are you so bad?

Speaker 5 (31:35):
You should go to school for this because you.

Speaker 1 (31:38):
Need to learn.

Speaker 5 (31:39):
You need to learn how to do it, because you're
doing a pretty poor job now.

Speaker 6 (31:43):
I usually never tell her much about how I feel,
because it always turns into her yelling and insulting me,
and me standing there and taking it.

Speaker 1 (31:50):
But I don't know.

Speaker 6 (31:51):
I guess I had had enough of always keeping everything
in just to not have to endure another one of
her lectures. I tried staying calm, explaining that it wasn't
just about what she had said and done the day before,
but just what she says and does in general, and.

Speaker 1 (32:03):
How it's affecting me.

Speaker 6 (32:04):
How any time I try to show something I like
that I'm proud of, that I want to do, she
always has to put it down. But of course I'm
so sensitive and emotional that I started tearing up, making
things worse, I guess. She then started going on this
whole angry rant about how she can never say anything
to me and that I'm so sensitive and always taking
things personally.

Speaker 1 (32:24):
She said that for the suit thing, it's that when
girls wear suits, everyone knows that it's because they're lesbian.

Speaker 5 (32:31):
Why is that a bad thing?

Speaker 3 (32:33):
Mother?

Speaker 5 (32:34):
Why is that bad? That pretty pretty girls wear pretty
pretty dresses?

Speaker 6 (32:39):
And that this is not what I'm supposed to be
wearing at a ball, that prom is still pretty far away,
and that there's no need for me to fixate on
those things now, that when I'm fixated on something, we
can never change my mind, that I'm focused on that
and get tunnel vision. That because of that, she can
never say anything and never have an opinion that, and
that it's like I want her to be a mindless,
opinionless mother, just there to satisfy and support my every

(33:02):
desire idea and fantasy.

Speaker 1 (33:04):
Hey, dude, go ahead and look in the mirror. That's
what you're doing right now to your daughter. Ding dong,
ding dong.

Speaker 5 (33:11):
Yeah, this mother is just like so frustrating.

Speaker 6 (33:13):
So in my head, I'm just asking for basic respect,
which is true. But maybe I'm just wording things wrong
and didn't express myself by oh, it's not your fault.
After a few moments, I started hearing her from the
kitchen sniffling.

Speaker 5 (33:25):
Oh my god.

Speaker 6 (33:25):
I started feeling bad because I thought she might have
started crying because of me, and that what I said
probably started weighing on her or something. I don't know
why I thought it would help, but I thought that
talking about my image problem would help ease things and
at least explain why I don't want to dress. I
don't know if I thought that changing the subject would
do something, or just trying to justify my choices and
views is what I was doing.

Speaker 1 (33:45):
I don't know.

Speaker 6 (33:46):
About halfway through saying what I had to say, I
started crying again, and I was honestly just feeling so helpless,
especially with the look she was giving me, like she
couldn't bear to listen or even look at me. I
was saying something along the lines of not feeling good,
confident enough in my body to wear a dress because
growing up I kept getting comments about my weight and
my stomach, and still hear those things sometimes. I didn't

(34:08):
even specify anyone or any names. Yes, I mostly meant
people in my family because it's true, but it's not
like it was just them. I guess that didn't change anything.
She stopped me while I was trying to talk. She
got even angrier, going on this rant about how I'm
always dramatic, how I get too influenced by media and TV,
and that I'm saying nonsense when I know very well
that I'm not fat. Her words exactly, that's how the

(34:30):
family is. That we always joke about subjects like that,
and then I'm too sensitive. She jokes about herself being
fat all the time, so I shouldn't be bothered by
her saying the same things about me.

Speaker 5 (34:41):
And that's also a problem because a lot of times
when you have, like especially with like women, stuff like
when you have mothers who have this kind of like
not old fashioned but just older view on body types,
and it's like not great. It's still not a great view,
like healthy view on body types and stuff, like they
think thinness is the best thing ever, and then they

(35:03):
put that on their children and they're like, oh, it's fine.
I'm like, I'm not saying anything that I wouldn't say
to myself. And it's like, no, you shouldn't be saying
that to yourself either.

Speaker 3 (35:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:10):
It's like, uh, and do we both need therapy? Mom?

Speaker 5 (35:12):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (35:13):
She says that.

Speaker 6 (35:14):
It's like I want to create stories and make up
problems and issues for myself, like I have some kind
of main character syndrome and a lot. She started talking
about how I'm making her out to be the bad
guy when she's a single mother, always doing the most
to spend money on me and my brother and listening
to our problems when needed, but that if she's such
a horrible, terrible mother, then never mind weapon why not.

Speaker 5 (35:35):
The classic Oh if I'm such a terrible mother, why
don't you get another one?

Speaker 6 (35:38):
It's like, Mom, I wish I could. Can you just
stop calling me fat no fatty? It's like, whoa, what
what are we doing? Gotta love too, the earlier line
of like you just want me to be a thoughtless
robot mom, and it's like that's you want that for
your daughter. You literally are trying to tell your daughter
she has to be exactly this way or she's wrong.

Speaker 5 (36:00):
Katery ramsay is why is it that adult women are
so concerned with little girl's bodies. It's almost like they're
like if someone had told me from childhood, i'd be
different or something. I don't know. It's this insecurity that
they impose on other people.

Speaker 6 (36:12):
It's not guys, stop worrying about the body and just
start worrying about your health. It's not about how thin
you are, It's not about how ripped you are. It's
about can you like lift a box over your head
if you need to? Like, can you can you run?

Speaker 5 (36:24):
If mobility at the end of the day, like mobility
is like what you should be focusing on.

Speaker 6 (36:30):
Just about feeling healthy, not looking hot.

Speaker 5 (36:32):
Let's be honest.

Speaker 6 (36:33):
I tried speaking saying that that's not even what I
was saying, but she just kept going. She then said
something about how if we can't even have the kind
of relationship where we can laugh and joke about things,
then she'll be strictly my mother who provides for me
and nothing else. Honestly, I don't even know anymore. If
I'm actually in the wrong or not. It's not the
first time something like this has happened, but it never
seemed to bother her and upset her this much. I

(36:55):
feel like she misunderstood everything I said.

Speaker 1 (36:57):
But I don't know.

Speaker 6 (36:59):
Maybe I just didn't worry it correctly, or maybe I
really am just the terrible daughter, she says, I am,
but I'm too self centered to realize it or something. Anyway,
now she's just been ignoring me, but not in an angry,
manipulative way. For once, she seems more like tired and upset.
I think, so, was I really in the wrong? Did
I actually say anything that was out of place? I
really need advice on how to arrange things because I

(37:20):
really don't know what to do.

Speaker 1 (37:22):
You are not in the wrong.

Speaker 5 (37:24):
Your mom is the worst wear your prom suit.

Speaker 3 (37:29):
I think Op's just really scared because again it's what
their senior year. And yeah, they're just scared.

Speaker 5 (37:34):
It's scared of like the no, I mean, they're still
in your mom's house. Yeah, this is single parents, Yeah
it is.

Speaker 3 (37:41):
This is incredibly frustrating, though, I feel like OPI, this
is like the first time Opie's really standing up for
themselves and yeah, yeah, and That's why it's like so
hard to like what's right? Is this wrong?

Speaker 1 (37:51):
Is this right?

Speaker 3 (37:52):
Is this wrong?

Speaker 1 (37:52):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (37:53):
It's like using your uh using your mom with very
skewed senses of uh. I think values as a parent
is not a good temperature check for like, am I right?

Speaker 1 (38:04):
Am I wrong? For you?

Speaker 6 (38:05):
Because she's clearly like it was as soon as you know,
she's like all sad about it, and then you're like
try to open up and be like, yeah, I have
body image issues because uh well I could say it's
because of all of you guys, but I won't say that.

Speaker 1 (38:17):
I'll say it's because of some people.

Speaker 6 (38:19):
And then as soon as you say it, you go, oh, yeah,
so it's my fault that you can't talk and you're
so sensitive anything.

Speaker 1 (38:24):
So now it's me, Oh well, I'm not having that,
I guarantee you.

Speaker 3 (38:27):
Opie's just like what is this because she's never seen
the side of her mom either, so she's like at
a loss for everything. Like her brain's like, oh, what
is going on?

Speaker 1 (38:35):
Yeah, So here's the update.

Speaker 6 (38:37):
I had kind of forgotten I'd written this. Not gonna lie,
but I'm bored and honestly still frustrated.

Speaker 8 (38:42):
Let me be mad.

Speaker 6 (38:42):
Please, So for whoever cares, here's an update. No matter
how much I fought for it, I was forced to
get address anyway. Don't get me wrong, I still liked
the dress. I got to choose it, and it was
the model I wanted. But I'm more upset about the
fact that I feel like I wasn't urd and that
I'm always forced to compromise and always have to do
whatever's necessary to keep the piece. Like my mother kept

(39:05):
saying she was compromising, but what is there for her
to compromise. She didn't compromise this at all, For there
was a zero compromise.

Speaker 5 (39:13):
She made you feel guilty until you were a dress.
There was no compromise.

Speaker 6 (39:16):
That's feel like this was my moment and I should
have been able to dress how I wanted instead. Apart
from the dress, though she did express that she didn't
love it exactly, she.

Speaker 1 (39:25):
Had to say in every little aspect of.

Speaker 6 (39:27):
My outfit, I wanted pearls, but she felt it wasn't
fitting or cute or pretty enough, and she kept just
making little comments and sulking and pouting until I gave
up and lied, saying I didn't want pearls anymore, and
that i'd just get diamonds. I wanted simple black platform
heels because I didn't want my shoes to be too much,
and I wanted the shoes to be something I could
wear even after prompt She said those weren't elegant or

(39:48):
a classy and wanted me to have shiny silver high heels.
So we compromised and I got shiny black platform heels.
But now she's complaining that I made her waste money
and that I'll never even wear them again.

Speaker 1 (39:58):
I wonder how this could have been avoided.

Speaker 5 (40:01):
Yeah, I'm sorry, Oh, you wouldn't have worn the shiny
silver heels. What is this? This logic is crazy.

Speaker 1 (40:07):
This is just something that you'll learn when you get older.

Speaker 6 (40:09):
It's really hard right now because you're still literally like
in high school. But like, as you get older, you'll
just learn that you don't actually need your mom's input
on anything.

Speaker 5 (40:17):
Yeah, it's just hard when you're living under I wanted.

Speaker 6 (40:19):
To get bohemian braids i am a black girl, but
my mother said it wasn't elegant and that braids are
not made for fancy events like those. Instead, she wanted
me to straighten my hair, but that was literally the
one thing I wanted to stand my ground on because
I just didn't want to have straight hair. After weeks
of protests, the only compromise I got were curls and waves.
There's a few more, but I'll spare the details because
one this is already getting longer than I thought, and

(40:41):
two I doubt anyone will actually read this.

Speaker 1 (40:42):
That's where you were wrong.

Speaker 6 (40:43):
And by the way, if you want to be elegant,
you can listen to full episodes with stories like this.
All you need to do is go to Spotify or
have a podcast or wherever you get your PA your
podcast Rob, and.

Speaker 5 (40:54):
You could be real elegant.

Speaker 6 (40:55):
And you can be real elegant when you type in
okay storytime and you listen to forty seven consecutive day's
worth a podcast, and we can all wear suits.

Speaker 1 (41:02):
Just yeah, well you know what.

Speaker 5 (41:04):
I did see. I did see a pretty cool suit
at the store, but it was very expensive.

Speaker 6 (41:07):
It's time to start saving, Honestly, all the arguing in
the stress this was causing just had me wishing prom
would arrive so it would end faster. In the end,
I was still pretty happy with the look, but a
part of me can't help but feel kind of upset
and kind of disappointed.

Speaker 1 (41:20):
But I don't know.

Speaker 6 (41:21):
Maybe I just care too much, I guess. Anyway, thanks
to anyone who reads my post or answered to them,
I appreciate it, and we appreciate you. And there is
an edit just to complain some more because I remembered
something else. Some of the things that I wanted, like
gloves and pearls in a black dress were things that
she got herself for her own prom back then, and
whenever I would bring that point up, she'd say, exactly,

(41:42):
it should be more modern instead of taking things of
the past. Where As a joke, she'd say I wanted
to copy her, but as soon as I strayed from
stuff she liked or proved, she complain, I don't like
anything she likes. Ironic, isn't it. That's so weird, just
like the nonsense thought lose.

Speaker 5 (41:58):
It's the narcissism. She's like, oh, you're trying to copy me,
but also you can't do anything differently from how I want.

Speaker 1 (42:04):
It to be.

Speaker 6 (42:05):
It's the nonsense narcissistic thought loop where it's like things
just do not things are not lining up correctly mentally,
and then when you're like, hey, that doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 1 (42:16):
Do you go, Oh, so you hate me and I'm
the worst mom on earth.

Speaker 5 (42:19):
But you're gonna move out soon, hopefully and go to
college and you get to leave her behind and realize,
oh wow, that's not an okay way for my mother
to treat me. I plan to spend Christmas alone with
my husband.

Speaker 1 (42:35):
My mom's furious mother. It's my husband, not yours.

Speaker 5 (42:40):
I'm using a throwaway account since my man account is
known by my family and friends. I got married and
September of this year, congrats to my boyfriend of five years,
which owes to a lope. Legally, it was more of
a blessing owing to the differences between marriage laws in
her home country and this one well on holiday and
one of our favorite countries. By the way, this comes
from eighty nine eighty s even six hundred and if

(43:01):
you want to spend your own stories, go to our
slashokay story tim separate it. So we then returned home
and had a ceremony where we signed all of the
documents and legally became husband and wife. This was attended
by our parents and siblings, so seven people in total.
I promise this is all related to the overall issue.
This wasn't at all a spur of the moment decision.

(43:21):
We wanted a wedding exactly like this, something that everyone
knew about and was seemingly on board with. For as
many years as I can remember, I've wanted to spend
my first Christmas as a married couple with the provision
that I slash we had our own place. By this,
I mean the day itself, cooking together, potentially burning the
meal together, napping in front of the TV when the

(43:41):
Queen's speech is on. It's something I've always envisaged.

Speaker 1 (43:45):
Oh I think, well, say access Darling.

Speaker 5 (43:49):
Unfortunately you're gonna have to watch the king speak, so sorry.
I told my boyfriend about it years ago, and he
loved the idea as much as me. To clarify, this
would just be the day itself, not the whole festival, Peero.
This was something that my and my husband's family were
made aware of, and both said they initially understood. We
live around eighty miles from my family and one hundred

(44:09):
and seventy miles from my husband's family. The initial plan
was to see my boyfriend's family over this coming weekend
and my parents on Boxing Day as Christmas has come closer,
it's become clear that my family, namely my mother, has
become increasingly uncomfortable with the fact that we're not going
to be spending Christmas with either her or my husband's family.
To give you an idea of past Christmases, for the

(44:31):
first three years of our relationship, we spent Christmas apart,
then spend Christmas with my family the year after, and
last Christmas with my husband's family. My mother started by
making comments that they're going to miss seeing me on
Christmas for two years in a row, while my husband's
parents are only missing out on a year. I pointed
out that if we go to visit my parents next Christmas,

(44:51):
then his parents want have seen them for two years
and so they'll be even, but that it wasn't a
competition in the slightest.

Speaker 1 (44:56):
Oh, for sure.

Speaker 6 (44:57):
It's definitely not a competition, right, that's the does it
feels just like one, but trust me, it's not.

Speaker 5 (45:02):
It's not. But if it were, you'd be losing. To
highlight family structures, Christmas with my family is with my parents,
my brother and his girlfriend on alternate years. They're with
them this year, and my uncle mother's brother and his husband.
My husband's family is his parents is two brothers, and
his mother's brother, so it's not as if either family
is having a distinctly smaller Christmas if we're not attending.
My mother has been asking if it's better to just

(45:24):
post us our presence and implying that we won't be
making the trip down to see them on Boxing Day. Again,
I've shut her down about this. The reason I'm posting
is that we rang my mother in law yesterday to
confirm plans for visiting over the weekend, and she said
that my mother had been in contact with her to
ask if we were secretly spending Christmas with them and
lying to my family about it. You know this sounds peachy.

Speaker 1 (45:47):
You just say, I know what y'all doing.

Speaker 5 (45:50):
She told my mother that as far as she knew,
we were sticking to our original plan of Christmas together
and we definitely weren't going to them. It hurts that
my mother thinks we're trying to get out of seeing them.
My mother has recently been raising the point that since
our wedding that she disagreed with our choice to Elope,
and that spending Christmas alone is an extension of that.
In the past few days. She has said that she

(46:11):
thinks we're alienating ourselves from the rest of the world.
I disagree. We love spending time with both of our families,
and our choice to elope was due to a combination
of cost and overall need. We don't have thousands of
pounds to spend on just one day so that random
cousins one or other of us have never met can
get loaded from an open bar. This was something that

(46:31):
once again my mother said she completely understood. I just
wanted to get the wider perspective to see if what
I'm doing is a little out of line. As a
final note, I do browse this sub and usually whenever
anyone posts about their parents, the advice is to go
to specific separates and to call the parents a bit
of noticsts. I don't believe at all that my mother
falls into that category. I believe that she is openly

(46:53):
sharing her personal opinion and feelings with me, and she's
completely justified in doing that without being at all in ours.
But her feelings are are stupid.

Speaker 3 (47:01):
I don't know.

Speaker 6 (47:02):
I think she's just like really insecure.

Speaker 5 (47:04):
Yeah, I think she need I think you need to
have a conversation with her and be like, Gurly, Gurly,
we love you. We can't wait to see you on
Boxing Day. We just want to have time as a couple.
This we just got married. We just got married. We'll
have a moment. Do you remember when when you and
and then and then you kind of like make it
really sweet? You're like, do you remember when your dad
just got married? Do you remember that moment when you

(47:25):
were so in love you just wanted to be with
each other. That's us right now.

Speaker 1 (47:29):
You're like, nah, I don't know he was. I've never
been in love with your father's to save bet. Honestly,
he had a good career.

Speaker 5 (47:35):
I just want to see if I'm the one in
this situation who was acting in the wrong.

Speaker 1 (47:38):
Edit.

Speaker 5 (47:39):
Thank you for all the comments and messages. The first
thing I'm planning on doing is talking to my mother
to reaffirm why we want to and are doing this,
which is what I just said.

Speaker 1 (47:47):
Literally, just hey, folks, it's what she just said. So
she said, I don't know if you've been listening, but
that's what she said.

Speaker 5 (47:54):
Hopefully that will be a positive first start. Also, I've
received messages criticizing my choice to Elope and are reasons
for deciding to do that. That's obviously not something we
can change. So please don't send me something telling me
I'm a horrible daughter over it, because it won't get
any kind of response. I would never send that, literally,
would not maybe do elope Ah, But there are some
comment Comment one, what does she think is going to

(48:16):
happen if you have kids soon and you can't spend
hours driving them across the country. You say your brother
alternate spending the holidays with your family and his girlfriends.
Does she react the same way to him or is
it just because you're not spending the day with any
family at all. I think this is why OP needs
to be firm now.

Speaker 1 (48:31):
Once they have.

Speaker 5 (48:31):
Kids, the mother is going to try five hundred times
harder to see them every Christmas Day. Comment to stop
explaining yourself to your mother. That's jading. Justify, argue, defend, explain,
it's natural, but you're an adult, you're married. Jading only
gives them room to attack your reasons. Just tell your mother,
I'm sorry if it upsets you, but a husband and
I are going to have our first married Christmas together

(48:52):
as a family. We'll see you on Boxing Day. Then
feel free to add in something like man I don't
want to discuss it anymore, or else our plans for
Boxing Day might yet change as well. I know I
certainly would. This is an emotional response by your mother
and no amount of reasoning is going to get her
to agree with you. So just tell her what you're
doing and let her be responsible for her emotions while
you enjoy Christmas. Also, I recommend not answering the door

(49:14):
and putting your phone on silent on Christmas Day. And
there is an update. But uh, yeah boo, I don't know.
I think you can still have a conversation with her.
I think you could still put your mind at ease
while still putting down those boundaries. I think you can try, yeah,
and it might work.

Speaker 6 (49:29):
There's a level of like justifying, like there's a level
of jade that I feel like is acceptable in just
that Sometimes people I mean usually want context for why
we are thinking, we're feeling a certain way. However, if
the reason they want to know that is so they
can tear it down, that's when you just stop. You go, Hey,
you've already explained what's going on. I've already explained why

(49:51):
it's happening. I'm going to see you on Boxing Day.

Speaker 5 (49:53):
Yeah, peace out.

Speaker 1 (49:54):
Update.

Speaker 5 (49:55):
So Christmas has been and gone and there was a
bit more drama than I wanted classic my original post.
I contacted my mother to reaffirm to her the reasons
we wanted to spend Christmas Day itself on our own,
and she said that she understood and said she's looking
forward to seeing us on Boxing Day. However, a few
hours later I got a call from my father asking
why my mother was crying and saying that I wrung

(50:16):
her up, screaming and shouting about interfering with her life.
I said that nothing like that happened, and that it
hurt that she was accusing me of that when I
just tried to be mature about the situation. My father
sympathized and said he tried to talk to her about it.
At least your father's seemingly sensible.

Speaker 1 (50:33):
Hold on that might be a curveball too. We just
got curveballed once.

Speaker 5 (50:37):
I checked in frequently in the days up to Christmas,
but my mother read and ignored my messages. Whenever I
spoke to my father, he said that she was telling
him I hadn't been in contact and she was waiting
for me to apologize, But he had seen that I
was in her call and text history. He advised that
visiting on Boxing Day might not be the best idea,
but if it got to the stage, he would visit
us alone, since none of this was our doing.

Speaker 1 (50:58):
Okay, okay, seems like the dad is good. Yeah, it
seems like he's true.

Speaker 5 (51:03):
We had our own private Christmas Day, during which we
found out that I was pregnant. We had started trying
for a first child in secret a few months ago,
but didn't suspect anything until I felt sick at the
smell of turkey, and You're like.

Speaker 1 (51:16):
That's impossible.

Speaker 5 (51:17):
I love turkey.

Speaker 1 (51:18):
It's so not me.

Speaker 5 (51:19):
We're going to keep this our little secret from the
next few weeks, at least, with everyone my husband's family included.
I texted my mother to wish her a happy Christmas
in the morning, and sent her another text in the
evening asking if she still wanted us to go up
to visit tomorrow. I got a one word reply. We
took my mother at her word, and we didn't visit
the following day. I think she was expecting me to
grovel at her feet, begging for forgiveness, but that's not

(51:41):
gonna happen. Anymore.

Speaker 6 (51:44):
Oh you, Oh god, I just imagine you're waiting, just
like she's around on the phone waiting for the call
any minute now. And it's just like the montage of
like the moon like and yeah, like rotating around like
a couple weeks.

Speaker 5 (51:58):
But guys, I'm begging you to listen to full episodes
of stories just like this. Just go to Apple podcast,
Spotify or your favorite podcast app and search a Pocus
story time. But there is a little bit left. I
called my father and told him that she had decided
that we weren't visiting, and it definitely wasn't on our end.
He visited in the afternoon and brought the dog Lovely,

(52:19):
and we all went for a walk. Instead of worrying
about what my mother was doing or saying to other
people about it. Apparently a horde of her friends have
been told that I shredded her Christmas card and posted
it back to them, among other things.

Speaker 1 (52:30):
What why she she just wants attention, just lying, She
just wants all the attention.

Speaker 5 (52:34):
But I'm done worrying about what my mother says. I'm
not at this stage going to completely cut her off
or say she can't see her future grandchild, but our
relationship is definitely strained, and that is the end of
that story. Boy a boy, Uh yeah, your mother is
a piece of work and it doesn't seem like she
can be reason with. But at least your dad can

(52:56):
be reason with and seems like he's pretty chill.

Speaker 8 (53:00):
My friend's boyfriend is weirdly obsessed with my life, so
I distanced myself from them.

Speaker 3 (53:05):
Uh no games, normal.

Speaker 8 (53:07):
Life, trying to see what you're up to tonight, that's all.

Speaker 1 (53:09):
No, thank you.

Speaker 8 (53:10):
My nineteen female's friends eighteen female's boyfriend is weirdly invested
in my life. I nineteen female would like to start
off by saying I am in my own relationship, and
although the title sounds weird, I just can't tell if
I'm going crazy or not, since everyone in my life
has acted as if this situation is completely normal. By
the way, this comes from Smells like Ocean on the

(53:31):
artsish Okay story tomsaub reread it. So a couple of
months ago, before I was in a relationship, I was
on a dating app and would mainly use it seriously
with my friends, mainly because I would never find anything
substantial in them. I ended up matching with this guy
nineteen mail let's call him Dave, who only used Instagram
to talk to people, and therefore I ended up giving

(53:51):
him my Instagram. I significantly remember talking to my friend
eighteen female let's call her a Leah about Dave. My
Instagram is full of pictures of me and my friends,
and I ended up ghosting Dave due to some personal
issues I was going through and some mannerisms I caught
onto that I didn't like. He was low key aggressive,
and I continued to post on my Instagram. Months later,

(54:12):
my friend Leah comes to me and tells me about
this guy she matched with on the dating app. Surprise, surprise,
it's Dave. Leah starts saying why she understands why it
wouldn't work out with me and Dave because we have
nothing in common, and that she's really excited for her
date with Dave. I was also excited for her. At first,
she went on her first date with him, things were
going on very well. On the second date, Dave tells

(54:33):
Leah that he wants to meet her friends. He was
so pushy about meeting her friends that he said he
would have planned the whole thing. I told Leah that
I definitely did not have to meet Dave until they
were more settled into the relationship, and I wouldn't take
offense to not being invited. Leah told me she wanted
me to go and that all she felt she needed
to do was tell Dave that I would be at

(54:54):
this meeting the friend's date. On Leah's third day with Dave,
she asked who his celebrity grushes, and Dave responds with
a popular actress of my ethnicity, and then continues to
express how women of my ignicity are his type. Leah
has a very different ignoity to me, and Dave was
well aware of this. She finally musters up the courage

(55:15):
to tell him that she is friends with me, and
when she does, she tells her, oh, I know, do
you know why she ghosted me? Then he proceeds to
tell her that he would bring a friend and turn
his next day into a double date for us. I
got to the double date, surprise, surprise, his friend doesn't
show up because he's too afraid of women. Then we
go through with the day with Dave and Leah heavily

(55:35):
making out everywhere. We went to to the point where
I just continued to get secondhand embarrassment then I realized
that my ex boyfriend worked at one of the stores nearby,
and since I was on good terms with him, I
decided to stop by and say hi again. This is
before me and my current boyfriend got to a relationship.
Leah and Dave showed up, and Dave asked my ex
if he wanted to join.

Speaker 3 (55:53):
Us, so we did so he became a double date
with your ex.

Speaker 8 (55:56):
Yeah, it was a pretty awkward setup since Leah and
Dave cantinued too heavily make out at the restaurant we
went to, but thankfully I was able to get through
with it without dying of boredom. Ew A couple of
weeks go by, and this is when I started dating
my boyfriend. He made it official before Leah and Dave did,
and when he finally asked Leah to be his girlfriend,
he sort of did it through text. Lea then tells

(56:18):
me they had gone on a date in the same
mall we had gone on our double day, and that
Dave had gone back to this store where my ex
worked to see if he could find him. Lee had
tried to play it off as a really cute thing,
because apparently Dave doesn't have a lot of friends since
he just transferred to his college. She believes he's just
trying to make friends his on age. I don't find
it as endearing since my ex was visibly uncomfortable with

(56:40):
Dave throughout the dinner and barely talk to him.

Speaker 3 (56:43):
Ooh yeah, because guess what, Dave had someone's tongue downs
throughout the entire time.

Speaker 1 (56:47):
Hi, I'm Dave.

Speaker 3 (56:48):
Oh goodbye, gonna go make out now. Ah.

Speaker 8 (56:50):
A couple months later, my boyfriend and I started to
have issues. I confided in Leah. She wasn't really helpful
since all she talked about was Dave would never do
that to her. She also brought up the fact that
she had a coworker who was looking for a girlfriend
and that she showed him my Instagram and he seemed interested.
Leah started talking about how her coworker is actually one

(57:11):
of Dave's new friends and how they're getting along well.
Leah then puts Dave on the phone and he proceeds
to tell me that I should break up with my boyfriend.
Dave has never met my boyfriend. Dave also said that
I should get myself a man of his ethnicity so
she can get a trial run before she actually gets
with Dave, so she's like, Okay, this is what this
is gonna be like, and I'll be ready for Dave.
Lea then admits to me that Dave has been continuously

(57:32):
asking her for updates on how my relationship with my
boyfriend is and ask if we have broken up yet.
A couple of the days later, I get a follow
request from Lea's coworker, and I asked her if she
had told him to follow me. She says Dave was
the one who told him to follow me and said
that Lea's coworker would treat me better. Dave just met
Lea's co worker. He doesn't even know him that well.
A couple of hours later, Dave requested to follow me

(57:54):
on his alternate account. I don't know what else to
say or do. Leah, my boyfriend, nor my friends seem
to be at all upset about this behavior, or at
least not at the level I'm upset. My friends have
said it's very odd and it seems to think he's
weirdly involved with my life as my friend's boyfriend. Is
this not weird? Am I wrong for being upset? I'm
a number one stay away block him out of your

(58:15):
life and don't share as much info with Leah. Make
new friends. This is really important because it's got to
have a support system. I would ask your ex what
he thinks about Dave and what they talked about, and
tell him you'd rather say they don't talk about you
because you're unsure of Dave. It is definitely weird behavior. Also,
it doesn't matter what they think at all. If it
feels weird to you, then move on and wait till

(58:36):
your feelings are proved. Otherwise, Ope, I have my own friends.
I think I will be making space between Lee and
I for this and other reasons as well. Thank you
for your advice. Thankfully, my ex wasn't working the day
Dave went looking for him. I asked what they talked
about when Leah and I were into the bathroom, and
he said they be three talked about how football, and
that he felt a little uncomfortable with how overly friendly

(58:57):
he was with him due to my current relationship. I
don't think it's a idea to be talking to my ex,
but if the situation somehow escalates, I may reach out
to him. Comment Er two editors note Leah she doesn't
think it's an issue that her boyfriend's type is the
opposite of what she is. Like my gosh, I know
he's young, but yesh OPI she just clings it onto

(59:17):
the fact that people tell us we look alike, so
therefore she thinks she looks good enough like the people
of my agnicity who pass four for it to be okay. Also,
Dave tried to backpedal and said that he didn't think
I was of that ethnicity, but somehow she did, and
yet we look alike. I don't know. It's all really
weird because my opinion is gaslighting, but I don't know.

(59:39):
Commenty three, Dave is going to try to be your
boyfriend's best buddy. You need to take this more seriously.
The guy is showing classic stalker nice guy behavior. Consider
making your socials all private for a year or two,
because yes, it'll take that long. Don't let your friends
know if you're alone anywhere if Dave might find out,
tell your parents are other people outside the friend group,

(01:00:00):
and never go anywhere Dave is. If he's there, leave,
don't be nice about it. He's taking advantage of everyone
wanting to be nice. Nope, he's dangerous, Opie. All of
my socials are bribed. I removed him from my followers.
I haven't told my family, although they think I am overreacting.
I talked to Leah and she told me that she
really wanted to go on a trip with all four
of us. I brought up the fact that Dave doesn't

(01:00:23):
seem to like my boyfriend as a way to get
out of it, and Leah just said, oh, well, Dave,
we'll play nice during the trip. So I can definitely
see where you're coming from. He's being aggressive a meeting you,
we got an update.

Speaker 1 (01:00:33):
He's just trying to be friendly. Like, it's just Dave.
Dave's the best. He's so cool everywhere.

Speaker 8 (01:00:42):
Yeah, he's just the best. Ever.

Speaker 3 (01:00:44):
Do you think it's to that extent of the craziness
or is he actually trying to just like maybe it's
just like so forward of like I want to be
I want to I want you to feel you know,
I want you to be friends with me. I want
to I want to have you know, I want you
to be comfortable with me and hang out with us.

Speaker 8 (01:00:58):
And yeah, I think when it comes to friendships, it
needs to be you know, people you are excited to
be around, and you don't feel bad when you leave them.

Speaker 3 (01:01:07):
I think that's what he's trying to do.

Speaker 8 (01:01:08):
And I think Dave is trying to force something. He's
trying to force something that's not natural. Just needs to
be out of the picture because I don't know why
he wants to be nero p as much.

Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
You know, he's trying.

Speaker 3 (01:01:19):
Maybe he's trying to use Leah to get to her,
to ope.

Speaker 1 (01:01:23):
I don't know, but I think he.

Speaker 8 (01:01:25):
Wanted to talk to the ecstasy where he was and
op was so we could be like, are they dating?
Are they not?

Speaker 3 (01:01:30):
I just think Dave is trying to be too forward
and you're like, slow.

Speaker 1 (01:01:34):
Your role man.

Speaker 3 (01:01:35):
Things need to be genuine.

Speaker 8 (01:01:36):
We got an updates. Thank you so much for all
the support you gave me on my original post. I
just wanted to update you all on the development since then.
My boyfriend and I made up and I updated him
on the situation with Leah, Dave and Leah's coworker. At first,
my boyfriend seemed unfazed. The more time passed, the more
it seemed to bother him. Lea came over the night
I uploaded the original post, and the first thing she

(01:01:57):
said was, so, what happened with your boyfriend? Everyone's is
dying to know, and by everyone, I mean Dave and
my coworker a huge smile on her face. I pointed
out the fact that it was odd that they wanted
to know so badly. Leah simply brushed it off and
said that her coworker actually wanted to apologize to me.
Leah said that supposedly Dave had made it sound like

(01:02:17):
my relationship was done for, which is why her coworker
requested me. As for Dave, he just continues to ask
Leah if I've broken up with him yet. Leah continued
to express her disappointment with some comments Dave has started
to make about her size. She specifically talked about how
she had wanted to get some dessert, but he had
refused to get anything, and then asked Leah, do you
get desserts with your friends every time you go out

(01:02:39):
with them? And Leah alluded to him bat shaming her friends,
specifically me and one of her other friends. A day
or so later, Leah caused me and tells me that
Dave has once again asked her if I've broken up
with my boyfriend. Yet we continue talking. She says that
unfortunately she doesn't think that we can go on that
trip he's been wanting to go with all four of
us on. Although I had already decided I wouldn't go
anywhere if Dave were present, curiosity got the better of me,

(01:03:02):
and I asked what changed her mind. She said, if
Dave was in the same room as your boyfriend, I
think he would want to fight him. She was being
definitely serious. My boyfriend and I got into a pretty
run in the mill argument. He didn't cheat or lie,
or still or hit. It was a simple disagreement. Therefore,
I don't think it's getting physical with my boyfriend that
all warranted, especially considering the fact that his rage is

(01:03:25):
coming from my friend's boyfriend, who I originally turned down
and barely known. The day after this phone call, my
boyfriend brought up Dave and asked if he had done
anything else. I informed him, and he seemed genuinely concerned
for Leah. He said that I should generally consider intervening
as things I've seen only gotten worse. And you know
what's not what the worst thing ever is joining our

(01:03:47):
podcast why and listening to more stories just like this.
Your favorite podcast platforms just look us up on Spotify, Apple, Podcast, Okay, storytime, we're.

Speaker 3 (01:03:56):
There and we just added another story.

Speaker 8 (01:03:57):
Yeah, dude, this is get look kind of weird.

Speaker 3 (01:04:00):
The fact that Leah is if nothing is jumping at
Leah like a girl. Do you not see like you're
like a dear headlights and you don't see the headlights
like this guy is blatantly saying weird stuff and asking
consistently about Op.

Speaker 1 (01:04:15):
Yeah it is Dave. Yeah.

Speaker 8 (01:04:18):
I made efforts to intervene. This relationship between Dave and
Leah was fresh. However, Leah simply accused me of jealousy.
But i'd been single at the time, I would have
bit my tongue and taken a harsh accusation. However, by
this time she made the accusation, I was in my
relationship with my current boyfriend.

Speaker 1 (01:04:33):
There.

Speaker 8 (01:04:33):
The accusation truly upset me, so specifically because it was
an insult to my boyfriend and our relationship. After reading
so many of your comments, which I greatly appreciate, I
think I've decided to make some space between me and Leah.
Am I wrong for this? Should I try harder to intervene?
And we got like some comments here, I'm at number one. Sorry, Op,
It's time to go st Leah as well. Dave is
stalking you and she's enabling it. Yeah, I don't know

(01:04:56):
why she doesn't see this is going on, lack of
self respect, insecure, but she's feeding info about you, so
she's just as bad. At this point, eave them both
at a very far distance. Has no one else pointed
out to Leah that Dave is only with her because
of you? Op? No, That's why I feel like I'm
the one that's crazy. Leah has two other friends. I'm

(01:05:16):
close with one of them, but not really the other
one that she constantly talks to. Ording to her, he
told them the whole story, and they both didn't see
anything wrong with Dave or his actions. I genuinely thought
that she was lying to me about telling them the
whole truth, but after talking to one of them, I
realized that she did, in fact know the whole story.
She believes Dave is a perfectly fine guy. There are

(01:05:38):
other issues that Dave has that I haven't necessarily mentioned
because they're not relevant through the specific story. But if
you cut me off and all the weird interactions Dave
has with me, he is still not a good guy
to get into a relationship In with in my opinion,
nonviolent crime level stuff. So I just don't understand why
everyone is so chill with it, which is why I

(01:06:00):
like I was the problem.

Speaker 1 (01:06:01):
They're bored.

Speaker 3 (01:06:02):
They're so bored that they're so entertained with your life.
That's what That's what I'm getting that Dave and Lee
are so freaking bored out of their minds with their
own lives and with each other, that they're so interested
in your life. Get away from them.

Speaker 8 (01:06:14):
Get away.

Speaker 1 (01:06:14):
That's all you need to you.

Speaker 8 (01:06:15):
You got to get out of there. But now we're
going to the next story.

Speaker 2 (01:06:20):
Hey it's Sam. We we get back to the stories.
But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 3 (01:06:24):
My friend made me pay for everything at her wedding,
all the while talking bad behind my back.

Speaker 8 (01:06:30):
Yeah it's like she did pay for this, but she
smelled that she.

Speaker 3 (01:06:33):
Didn't pay enough of it. I was asked to be
made of honor by a friend of mine who I've
had a rocky past with. She doesn't really have anyone
close in her life that lasts longer than a few years,
and she also changes jobs every few months because she's
high conflict and causes drama constantly. She thrives off of it.
By the way, this comes from Schmeg the Meg, and
you can submit your stories at our slash Okay Storytime subreddit.

(01:06:55):
So in hindsight, I should have said no, especially knowing
this was her and the groom's third engagement, so off
and on. But I agreed and took everything so seriously.
Bride Zilla was an understatement. She changed the members of
the bridle party five times, so I had to constantly
track down new people. Her bridal shower had to be
this one very specific country club that was extremely expensive.

(01:07:18):
She changed the date of the actual wedding and forgot
to tell me for months, and it was on a Friday,
so I had to request off work. Nothing I bought
was good enough, and she always requested more, more, more.
She changed my dress color after I bought it. She
also just stopped talking to me unless it was about
the wedding and had no idea what was going on
in my personal life. I paid for just about everything

(01:07:38):
because the people she kept inviting in the bridal party
were younger than us early twenties. I'm twenty seven, bride
is thirty three and has no stable income. I have
a good job and I'm really smart with my money,
but even for me, it was really difficult. I'm talking
about six thousand dollars on this dang wedding as made
of honor. I'm trying to plan my own.

Speaker 1 (01:07:56):
Soon as well. Well.

Speaker 3 (01:07:57):
The day of the wedding comes, I make sure she
had a bunch of customer gifts, a day off bag,
My speech was beautiful, et cetera.

Speaker 1 (01:08:03):
But she was so rude to me the entire day.
She has a new.

Speaker 3 (01:08:08):
Bff she met about four months before the wedding, and
they are attached at the hip, and all she wanted
to do was talk to her. But whatever, I was
super busy handling everything, so I tried to ignore it. Riley,
who's the a hole here? Whoo's the a hole here?

Speaker 8 (01:08:21):
Come on?

Speaker 3 (01:08:22):
The wedding comes and goes. She leaves to go to
the after party with her new bff, and I stayed
behind to clean up the entire venue with the help
of my boyfriend. After and we go home. Well, I
get a call today from her cousin, who was also
in the wedding party, who I really bonded with over
this awful experience. She told me that she didn't want
to say anything to me, but she thinks I deserve
to know because I'm already buying Christmas gifts for the

(01:08:43):
bride and her kids.

Speaker 1 (01:08:45):
Oha whoa.

Speaker 3 (01:08:46):
Her cousin tells me that every time I left the
bridal suite the day of the wedding, the bride would
announce to everyone in the room that she couldn't stand me.
I wish she weren't even here. I'm so effing annoying.
She also has a separate group chat with her sisters
and cousins, and he continues to talk crap on me there,
mind you. She just sent me a Christmas list for
her kids last week. Everything's already bought and wrapped. I

(01:09:07):
feel so hurt and so used, and honestly really stupid.
I just blocked her on everything. I don't want to
even message her because I know she'll somehow twist it
around and make it my fault.

Speaker 1 (01:09:16):
Edit an ad.

Speaker 3 (01:09:17):
I'm seeing a lot of comments saying this is on
me for missing slash ignoring red flags, and I one
hundred percent agree. I should have gone more into the backstory,
but it's super complicated and long, so I left it out.
I used to be the stepmother of her oldest son,
so her ex is also my ex, and he's a
huge piece of crap. But that's a story for another day.

(01:09:37):
And I'm extremely boded to the kiddo. I was in
his life from nine months old and she's allowed me
to be involved in his life for the past four
plus years.

Speaker 8 (01:09:44):
Yeah, because you keep buying stuff for him.

Speaker 1 (01:09:46):
Yeah, maybe that's why.

Speaker 3 (01:09:47):
Maybe she doesn't like you, Maybe she likes using you obviously,
I yeah, yeah. Even after I left the relationship, he's
seven now, so a huge part of me feels this immense,
incredible debt to her, and I will always appreciate her
keeping me and her son's life. She didn't have to
do that, but as my friend kids aside, she's incredibly
selfish and toxic. I should have made better boundaries and
kept my guard up, but wow, that's easier said than

(01:10:10):
done when kids are involved. At It's an ad Number two.
I also meant that I spent six thousand on the
bridle shower slash bachelolette slash gifts, et cetera. I did
not pay for the actual wedding venue itself, but six
thousand dollars on my own money still for wedding related things.
As dad three I appreciate everyone's advice. I was more
or less venting on this post. I know I'm not
blameless in this and definitely let it drag on too

(01:10:32):
long because I was slash am scared that once I
upset Bridezilla, I lose access to being part of her
children's lives. However, I agree that it's not healthy for
me to continue to be in contact with her, and
her children are better off seeing me being used as
a doormat by their mother. I blocked her number and
I do not plan on interacting with her ever.

Speaker 1 (01:10:49):
Again.

Speaker 3 (01:10:50):
Time to just move on and focus on my own
healing for once. We have an update.

Speaker 8 (01:10:54):
I'm so glad you realize that it took.

Speaker 3 (01:10:58):
It took the entire internet.

Speaker 1 (01:11:00):
I tell you, I was.

Speaker 8 (01:11:01):
Wondering why she didn't lie like you, but that that
makes more sense. How did you did you get wrapped
up into this?

Speaker 3 (01:11:06):
I really think she did what I said earlier because
you did something with her ex all that stickiness. Literally,
she's making you pay for it. Yeah, and you don't
owe this woman a nickel?

Speaker 8 (01:11:20):
Don't you really don't know?

Speaker 1 (01:11:21):
P update?

Speaker 3 (01:11:22):
Hi everyone, This post definitely blew up more than I
was expecting, so I wanted to give a quick update
after this happened. A few things that some of you
said to me really stuck with me. I was looking
at all this from the perspective of not wanting to
lose access to the children of the bride, who I
love deeply. But I was not realizing that by allowing
their mother to treat me poorly, that I was modeling
for the kids how to treat their own loved ones.

(01:11:43):
That really was a light bulb moment for me, and
I realized I needed to cut ties. I initially told
her that I needed space from her because of the
way she has treated me as a friend, which she
did not take well, and I had to block her
number and a leader off social media to stop her
from berating me with text. Once I did that, it
was insane how much better I I felt. I truly
didn't realize how much time and energy she took out
of me every single day. I felt like a literal

(01:12:05):
weight was lifted from my chest, and I wasn't filled
with anxiety about whatever drama she constantly called slash text
me about. I had no idea how much she had
slowly taken from me across the course of our friendship.
It was like being free of an emotional vampire. However,
despite feeling so much better, I still felt that I
needed closure regarding the kids, who I do love and miss.
I need to know in my heart that I did
everything I could for them to know none of this

(01:12:27):
is their fault. I decided to drop off the presence
I already bought at their front doorstep and left a
note letting her know that I was informed she spoke
poorly about me in front of her children during the
wedding day and that I simply cannot accept that disrespect anymore.

Speaker 8 (01:12:40):
There we go, Pete, there we go. All right, all right,
I like this?

Speaker 1 (01:12:43):
Do you like this?

Speaker 3 (01:12:43):
It was very short and sweet, and I didn't go
into much more detail than that. I also told her
I had no interest in re kindling any type of friendship,
that this was my closure and I do not want
her to contact me any further. Apparently, she immediately took
to social media and began making dozens of posts TikTok
videos denying everything, as well as involving the kids in
the videos. Pope, he says, it's so sad, trash talking

(01:13:06):
me and calling me a narcissist. Which is laughable, honestly,
and it's her go to insult for anyone who wrongs her.
I had friends send me a few and just belief,
and while I appreciated being informed, I asked them not
to send me anymore because I really don't care and
I don't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing
I saw any of them. And by the way, you
can have the satisfaction of listening to us on our podcast.
Just look us up on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

(01:13:28):
you get your podcasts from search okay, storytime and you
can find stories just like this. Heck, we just added
another one.

Speaker 6 (01:13:34):
We did.

Speaker 8 (01:13:35):
And very nice of you to give the gifts the kids.

Speaker 3 (01:13:39):
You didn't need to do that.

Speaker 8 (01:13:39):
Let them know they're not a part of this. No
fronting her.

Speaker 3 (01:13:43):
Do you think she told the kids because she didn't
give it to the kids. The mom probably got the
gifts and was like, oh, she gave us the gifts
and then she read the letters like, no, the gifts
are yours. I probably try to keep the kids out
of it. I mean, she tries to love them. She
tried to, but you realize one day you did all
you could, but the best thing you can do is
just get away from this monster. Monster. Honestly, I just

(01:14:05):
feel so bad for the kids, and I feel nothing
but pity for their mother. How sad you be thirty
three years old and instead of spending time on Christmas
morning with your children, you're making TikTok videos to try
and upset me and failing at it. Anyway, that's my update.
I'm glad to finally put all this behind me. I
feel like I've closed that chapter of such a chaotic
and drama filled portion of my life. If any of
you are dealing with a person like this in your lives,

(01:14:26):
get out. Life is so much better without them in
it to drag you down, I promise you. And that's
the end of that story.

Speaker 8 (01:14:32):
Seeing that story, dang, good for you, Op, I'm glad
you realize that, and we're a beacon of hope for
others in this situation.

Speaker 3 (01:14:39):
Yeah, you can love from afar. Yep, you don't need
to deal with that anymore.

Speaker 8 (01:14:42):
That's right, And we got another story for you, guys.
I made a new friend at work, but now I
realize she's been manipulating me.

Speaker 3 (01:14:49):
She's not your friend.

Speaker 8 (01:14:51):
I female twenty two at this point, started working at
a company in twenty twenty. This was my first real job.
I saw a girl, let's call her Hannah, twenty two
female out the time, who smiled so lovely to me
on my first day, and immediately I got excited to
become friends with her. We had sat close to each
other since my first day. However, she was distance to
respect her boundaries. I also remained distant, by the way.

(01:15:13):
This comes from glowing days on the art slash owcase,
storytime supper at so let me describe Hannah. Hannah works
in our company as an operation specialist. She studied international
relations and logistics. Her father was long gone to other
women when she was a little girl. She grew up
with her mother but did not get along well. She
has only one friend, not more, only one who lives

(01:15:34):
across the world, who loves art and music, but really
stands against collective activities such as concerts, festivals and things
like that. She loves to spend one on one time
with her friends and hates to introduce her friends to
each other. She is single for years, and I still
believe she will remain so for a while in the future.
I think, see why I'm a fashion designer, but what

(01:15:54):
I do is remotely linked to my actual job. I
work as both a graphic and fashion designer in this company.
I am so into fashion and complimentary aret about the
fashion industry, and I try my best to become a
part of today's fashion world. I'm also engaged to my
boyfriend of four years. In time, I gained a few
friends from work. One of them, what's call him Marvin
Mail twenty four at the time, was really close to

(01:16:16):
this girl and introduced us to each other. One day
at work. We went to the sea side and talked
about how our interests are alike. All of us got
really closer with each other and spent a lot of
time together. In time, we've gotten closer with Hannah and
just a few issues with Marvin along the way. It
was just me and Hannah. From there, Marvin and us
grew apart. Anyway. I started noticing things things that Marvin

(01:16:38):
once warned me about. He always said she was a
huge manipulator, that I must be careful around her. Maybe
she might be lying to us about her sickness to
become a main character of our group, wanting us to
be more interested in her than our own or each
other's lives, but I cut contact with him and didn't
believe him because he lied from time to time. After this,
Hannah and I almost entire I really did everything together.

(01:17:01):
We went to concerts, concerts that she finds suitable. We
traveled from Italy to France. Nearly ten different countries we
visited together. She made the most of the decisions because
she always hated to do things that others wanted. I
also spent so little time with my fiance during that time.
We really didn't like her. Since the beginning, we went
to fashion weeks, hiped up to the mountains, spent a

(01:17:21):
lot of great time together. To this day, I still
missed the times we've spent together. However, near the end,
it was unbearable to do something, any simple thing with her.
I noticed that she tries to manipulate me into doing
things I hate. I scare, I feel anxious and uncomfortable
while doing it. I was miserable a lot in those memories,
felt horrible and tired, and always hurt.

Speaker 1 (01:17:43):
Well.

Speaker 8 (01:17:43):
I hurt my ankle. She made me walk three miles,
saying I was just whining and my ankle didn't hurt.
She made me pay a lot and said, I will
pay you in five minutes. I will venmo it to
you tomorrow, but never did.

Speaker 3 (01:17:55):
Oh she's the main character.

Speaker 8 (01:17:56):
She made me remove every coworker from my socials because
she doesn't feel comfortable with people saying that I am
with her and knowing what she does on her holidays.

Speaker 3 (01:18:04):
This is very strange behavior. Are you? Why are you
accepting this? Why are you doing this to maintain a
friendship with someone you don't want to be friends with.

Speaker 8 (01:18:12):
I think she likes her a lot after all this.
I think not OPI, but I think, oh, oh Hanna.

Speaker 1 (01:18:18):
I think Hannah Hannah.

Speaker 3 (01:18:19):
I doesn't sound like Hannah likes anyone doesn't Hannah likes herself.

Speaker 8 (01:18:24):
I'm no saying I blame myself for doing all that
without questioning. However, I am a certified people pleaser and
had a weak personality. I blame myself for not stepping up,
not calling shots, and not trusting my own free will.
I know my wrongs. This was a mistake and won't
happen again. Everyone around me said that she was bad
news for trying to control me, manipulate me, but I

(01:18:44):
didn't see that coming. I had no idea how she
could do it so smoothly. However, there were three points
that helped me realize that I had to end my
relationship with her. First one was on a trip to Greece.
We went to Santorini and stayed in a budget friendly hostel.
The hostel was a five floor building with a terrence
on top. Our room was on the ground floor. We
had to climb five floor stairs to dry our clothes.

(01:19:07):
For a week, I climbed up and down several times
a day, even though I had severe scar on my
feet and wasn't able to walk normally. She didn't care
that I was injured, didn't care that I had weak
lungs and could not climb that many stairs. When I
turned back to our room, my legs and feet were
really hurting, and I dropped her perfume bottle. While I
was trying to get the bottle, I dropped her clothes

(01:19:28):
on the ground. She said that how could a person
be that bad at everything? Good for nothing?

Speaker 3 (01:19:34):
Yeah, she's a really good person.

Speaker 8 (01:19:35):
This really hurt my feelings. It made me realize that
I am always walking on my toes around her. I
am not comfortable in anything I do with her. This
is an awful place to be in something else. Helpened
on that trip, but needs a little backstory. About a
week ago, we were talking about soulmates in life. I
said that I love my fiance, but if I hadn't
met him, there was a guy who I barely talked to,
followed him on socials, and I think he could be

(01:19:57):
my soulmate in a different scenario. It was just chit chat.
I showed her his profile. She said I was right
about the soulmate thing, and even said my boyfriend and
I are not alike at all. He and this guy
and I would be a better couple. Few days later,
on a random evening, she said that this guy, the
exact guy, followed her on socials, and she asked me
if it was okay for her to accept it or not.

(01:20:18):
What can I say? I have a boyfriend, I didn't
even meet the guy in person, and he also has
a girlfriend. I didn't have any say in this. I said,
do whatever you want, but it was odd for him
to send a father request to her. A few days later,
I looked past it. During our trip to Sanerini, she
was texting all the time with someone I didn't bother
to ask. I knew she wouldn't say it to me
unless she wanted to. I respected her decision and waited

(01:20:40):
for her to tell me. One evening, we were in
a club and drinking tequila. I was shocked to my
very core when I saw her texting him. The guy
I showed to her said nothing but completely froze. He's
highly against these kind of situations and always judge how
people interact with another person's likes or boyfriends or flirts.
I didn't know what to do. I spent the whole
night with it in my stomach, even though he was

(01:21:01):
a complete stranger to me. I find it so inappropriate
because I wouldn't have done that to her or anyone.
With pain in my feet and a heavy burden on
my chest, I cry myself to sleep without her noticing.
I wanted her to talk to me first. If she
would say, oh, I like him, so sorry for making
you feel bad in the beginning, I would respect her decision,
because who am I to say something to this complete
stranger who has no relationship with me whatsoever. And she

(01:21:24):
knew I would respect it, but she wouldn't if I
did so, I said nothing and waited for her to
come clean. You never did to this day, she doesn't
know that I know. The last one was when we
were at the coffeehouse after work our trip to Santlorini.
We had upcoming trip to Paris. Since we booked everything
in advance, I went with her. I tried to forget
about the guy since he was a nobody, but she

(01:21:44):
was my best friend and I did. After we came
back from Paris, she said, oh, now I know exactly
what I want to pursue in life after that trip.
I want to be a fashion designer. Hannah, get your
own freaking life, have your own freaking thoughts.

Speaker 3 (01:21:58):
She's becoming one, becoming a one sentient being.

Speaker 8 (01:22:01):
She's trying to copycat you, and then she's probably gonna
get rid of you, and.

Speaker 1 (01:22:04):
She's gonna reet me you.

Speaker 8 (01:22:07):
She found the blueprints of your life and said that
sounds so great. I'm gonna do it too.

Speaker 1 (01:22:11):
I like that.

Speaker 3 (01:22:11):
That's to be Niden, no longer you.

Speaker 8 (01:22:14):
I just looked at her and my jaw dropped. I
knew she wanted to get furious because she tried to
steal my dreams and wanted to enjoy being the right one,
while I would be the jealous and angry one. I
did the opposite and said, great, how do you want
to pursue your new passion? She said new? Oh, no,
I always wanted to become one. This was my one
true passion in life. You know, No, I didn't, because

(01:22:37):
she never said so. I realized that she did this
a lot, trying to implement some new interests of hers
as she loved it since the beginning. I try to
stay calm because in that moment I realized she knew
what she was doing all along. On everything she made
me feel everywhere she said didn't knowingly. I said, you
can take courses to improve in this field. I can
help you with it, and she looked directly into my

(01:22:59):
face while saying, well, I wanted to meet with professionals
who did this professionally. Since for you, it's just like
a hobby, I said, I try to defend my master's thesis.
This isn't a hobby for me. You are the one
to know it because you are the closest to me.
I want to build my life on this. And her
last words to me were, well, I don't think you

(01:23:20):
do it for the right reasons, and I don't think
you are doing it seriously. It seems like a hobby
to meet, and she said she doesn't think I fit
well for the fashion business and that I'm not capable
of doing it, while people like her who are so
interested in this going to do so much. And you
can do as much as search us up on your
favorite podcast platforms for stories just like this. Just look
up Okay story time and we're there. We have so

(01:23:40):
many stories just as crazy as this one.

Speaker 3 (01:23:42):
Yeah, maybe even crazier, maybe even freaking crazier.

Speaker 8 (01:23:45):
I want to fine Hannah, put her in a box
and say stay in it. That's all you can ever
think about, staying within the box. Dang dude, that is
such a girl.

Speaker 1 (01:23:53):
Opie, stop being friends with her. I can fix her.

Speaker 8 (01:23:56):
Lastly, this is not being honest. This is completely hurtful.
I respectively said, I wanted to go home. The next day,
I said to her I didn't want to be friends anymore.
She was surprised, but she couldn't imagine that I would
step up for myself. Since then, I have never been
so happy in my whole life. I learned my lesson.
Am not planning to give another chance to manipulators like her, Amma.

(01:24:16):
They aho for not wanting to be manipulated by my
ex best friend anymore, and we already know the answer.
You're not the a hole duh girl.

Speaker 1 (01:24:23):
That was crazy the fact.

Speaker 3 (01:24:25):
That you called her ex best friend. Yeah, like you
gave her that title, dude, not even deserving.

Speaker 8 (01:24:31):
She just like was leeching on you, leaching on your
dreams and like I want to do that and just
trying to break you down as a human being.

Speaker 1 (01:24:36):
I'm going to be you what I am you.

Speaker 8 (01:24:39):
That was stupid and crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:24:42):
I'm no longer Hannah, I'm Ugo pie.

Speaker 3 (01:24:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (01:24:45):
Oh, but that's the end of that story.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}I think my wife cheated on me…now she’s refusing a paternity test for “our” child! | Reddit Stories