My “best friend” CONFESSED that she only befriended me… to take my boyfriend! - r/charlottedobreyoutube | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is John, this is Sam, your og Okay Storytime
podcast hosts, and we have some spectacular stories coming up.
But real quick, we got a two minute break from
our lovely sponsors keeping this ship sailing.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
My best friend confessed that she only befriended me to
steal my boyfriend.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
She's just monologuing my gosh all along ice scheme.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
I am twenty three female lived in a two bed,
two bath apartment with my boyfriend twenty one male. Let's
call him Jack. Our relationship certainly wasn't perfect, but I
had serious rose colored glasses for its entirety. By the way,
this comes from Stunning Trust nine nine three three and
if you want to spit your own stories, go to
our slash Okay Storytime Separate it. So we had been
dating for about a year when we started going to

(00:44):
a gaming lounge in our city. We're big gamers. While there,
we made a few friends and started hanging out at
their houses, where we met one of the guy's girlfriends
nineteen female. I think I honestly don't remember. Let's call
her Ivy. Side note. Her name was the name of
my favorite flower. Obviously I changed the name for the story.

Speaker 3 (01:02):
So let's just.

Speaker 2 (01:02):
Pretend my favorite flower is Ivy. I've always struggled with
making friends. I have severe anxiety, especially in social situations.
But ironically, I'm an extrovert and I've always gotten along
better with men than women. I honestly don't know why.
With that being said, I don't have a lot of
female friends. However, I thought Ivy was really pretty and
I really wanted a female friend that I could hang

(01:24):
out with and do girly things together. So I took
a deep breath and started a conversation with her. We
talked for a bit and really seemed to hit it
off as friends. It wasn't long after that that we
became best friends. There eventually got to a point where
she broke up with the guy she was with, and
since she had been living with him, she yet to
move out. I decided to allow her to move in
with Jack and me, since I'm a bleeding heart and

(01:45):
a people pleaser and I thought it would be fun
to live together.

Speaker 3 (01:48):
I would later.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
Realize that that was a huge mistake. Another bit of
context here before I continue. I am a curvy woman,
I always have been, and I am plus sized at
the time, about an excel. I have always had bad
self esteem because I struggle with losing weight and I
never felt I could be truly beautiful unless I had
a flat stomach. Ivy, on the other end, was really skinny. Also,

(02:12):
I am pan romantic. I will admit the time we
spent together initially was great. We were constantly hanging out,
making tiktoks, watching YouTube, and buying matching clothes. She boosted
my confidence and made me feel so beautiful my self
esteem issues actually started to dim a lot. It got
to the point that I actually did start getting romantic
feelings for her. Oohoha, but no, opis a boyfriend.

Speaker 3 (02:35):
Oh shoot, right now, Yeah, they're living together?

Speaker 2 (02:38):
Right, I thought she was living together with I and
Jack her boyfriend.

Speaker 3 (02:43):
Oh then that's a problem. That's a problem.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
Soon she admitted to having feelings for me too, as
well as Jack. She convinced me and Jack to enter
into a poly relationship with her.

Speaker 3 (02:54):
Okay, well, never mind, solve that problem.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
Yeah, now, I will say this relationship only lasted about
a week. She ended up saying she wasn't ready to
enter another relationship, which I respected. But not long after that,
Jack started to become a bit more distant from me. Oh,
he didn't kiss me with the same passion as before,
and I was getting scared. Then at the beginning of November,
we had a talk in my car and we broke up.

Speaker 4 (03:19):
Whoa.

Speaker 2 (03:20):
He said we both needed to work on ourselves. I
was devastated because I really thought I was going to
marry this guy. But I said okay, and we moved on.
We were still living together because I knew that if
I moved out, Jack and Ivy would be screwed because
I was the only one with a stable job. This
is such a complicated livings. This really like Jack and

(03:41):
O Peter living together was a couple. Ivy moves in,
they start dating. Even although it's only a week, it's
still like that something that should have been hashed out more.

Speaker 3 (03:52):
It sounds like a sitcom, yeah kind of thing.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
Oh, this sounds a messy, messy, messy messy.

Speaker 3 (03:58):
Ivy always said.

Speaker 2 (04:00):
She needed to work on her mental health before she
could get a job, and while yes, Jack did have
a job at the time, he ended up losing it
not long after the breakup. He wasn't making enough to
be able to pay the rent on his own. Again,
I'm a bleeding heart, and I was still in love
with him at this point, since the breakup was fresh
and I had hope of getting back together with him. Well,
I would say. About a week later, Jack came into

(04:20):
my room in the middle of the night, sobbing. Immediately
I sat up to see what was wrong. He admitted
to me that he had been cheating on me with
Ivy between the time the POLLI relationship ended and our breakup.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
Wow, oh wow, oh wow, that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (04:37):
He apologized profusely, and I hugged him and told him
I forgave him.

Speaker 3 (04:41):
Why why? Yeah, he has already broke up. You don't
have to forgive him. Yeah. Yeah, I know that was.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
But in the moment, I thought that this was why
he broke up with me, and I hope that if
I showed him I wasn't angry, we could get back together.

Speaker 3 (04:55):
Oh pee, your poor thing, bless your heart. Well that
did didn't happen.

Speaker 4 (05:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (05:01):
Around Thanksgiving, Jack and Ivy became an official couple, and
not long after that we found out that Ivy was
pregnant with Jack's baby. Oh wow, ah wait ah wowe.

Speaker 3 (05:16):
Oh my goodness.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
I honestly had a series of mixed feelings surrounding this. Yeah,
I felt so betrayed that Ivy had essentially stolen the
man I loved and got pregnant with his baby, but
since she was my best friend, I was also happy
for her well, also wishing I was the one in
her shoes, even though I never wanted to have a
baby until I was married.

Speaker 3 (05:35):
Girl, why are you friends with these people? Get out
of there, get a new place if you can. Please,
please leave both Jack and Ivy please. They cheated on you. Yeah,
this is not This is the kind of people that
you go have no contact with immediately. I know it's
weird because the living situation makes it very difficult, but lease,

(05:56):
you have the money.

Speaker 2 (05:57):
I also felt betrayed by Jack because it didn't take
him look to get into another relationship. No, well he
was in another relationship during your relationship. Yeah, that's like,
that's really not a long time. Even though he said
he needed to work on himself first, he.

Speaker 3 (06:10):
Was lying, Yeah, he cheated on you, he was lying, Oh, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 (06:14):
I tried so hard to hide my emotions and just
be happy for them, But then Ivy changed, Girl, stop
being happy.

Speaker 3 (06:21):
For them, leave them. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (06:23):
She began making incredibly mean comments to me. I honestly
can't remember all of them, but she would constantly berate
me for certain things, such as the fact that I
did wish I was in her shoes. I think at
one point she accused me of wanting to steal her
baby just because I said I would love the baby
as if it were my own when I talked about
helping to take care of it. Well, mind you, I
was also paying for prenatal vitamins and other things for Ivy.

(06:46):
She got upset when she saw me sitting on the
couch with a blanket on me that technically belonged to Jack,
even though the only reason I was using it was
because it was within reach and I was cold. Later
I found out from Jack that she was calling me
a fat cow to her own friend, let's call her Vanessa.
Eventually she went from being my best friend to emotionally me,
and even though I knew I was being mistreated, I

(07:08):
felt I couldn't leave because I felt an obligation to
help Jack and inentern Ivy.

Speaker 3 (07:13):
Why why why, there's no no why that you don't
owe these people anything. They literally they cheated and now
they're having a baby, which is not your business at all.
That's totally theirs.

Speaker 2 (07:26):
You do not have to do anything, needs so much therapy, op. Yeah,
you do not need to be in this situation.

Speaker 3 (07:31):
Yeah. Oh god.

Speaker 2 (07:32):
The worst part was that Jack never defended me, of
course not. He cheated on you, and then he's having
a baby with the person he cheated on you with. Yeah,
he doesn't care about you. He doesn't, I'm sorry to say.

Speaker 3 (07:43):
Op.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
Unfortunately it sis and you deserve much better. But he
does not care about you.

Speaker 3 (07:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
You would always just stay quiet whenever Ivy started on
her bs, so I was alone. The self esteem that
had built inside me during the time we were friends
had disappeared. My anxiety got worse, and I went from
being mildly depressed and majorly I was crying almost every
night because of the grief of breaking up with Jack.
I wasn't posting tiktoks on my account because I had

(08:09):
lost all inspiration and motivation. It was like heck on Earth,
and yet I still tried to be good to both
of them. I got good presents for both of them
at Christmas, and I was there for them when they
needed It wasn't until I visited my parents that that changed.
I don't remember what I was visiting my parents for
but while I was there, I ended up spilling about
everything that was going on. I just couldn't keep it
inside anymore. They both encouraged me to get out of

(08:31):
there because of the but I told them I couldn't
because of the rent.

Speaker 3 (08:35):
That's not true.

Speaker 2 (08:37):
Yeah, you're paying for the rent, right. They can figure
it out. Eventually, though, they put their foot down and
gave me an exact date of when they would come
to the apartment, help me pack all my stuff and
move me into my sister's house. Good on your parents.
I was absolutely panic by this, but there was nothing
I could do. So that day came and went. I
couldn't even look at Jack Rivey as it was happening

(08:59):
because I felt so ashamed. I felt like I was
abandoning them.

Speaker 3 (09:03):
You need so much therapy? Ope, yes, yes.

Speaker 2 (09:06):
The only thing I said to Jack was to please
let me know if I left anything behind, and to
put his side for me to pick up later. I
tried to stay in contact with Jack during this time. No,
I didn't really speak to him outside of rehearsals. We
were participating in a community theater musical production that started
before we broke up.

Speaker 3 (09:21):
More connections to these people, Oh my goodness.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
And I tried to be civil with Ivy. Jack always
brought her with, but she was still towards me. After
the production was over, Jack and I pretty much did
not talk at all. However, in February of twenty twenty two,
Jack reached out to me via text they always do.
He talked with me about how things weren't going well
in his relationship with Ivy.

Speaker 3 (09:45):
And he comes.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
Crawling back, and you know what, you say nothing, You
don't respond, That's right. She was apparently constantly leaving the
apartment to hang out with Vanessa, not wanting him to
tag along, and oftentimes not coming home until very late.
He was constantly worried about her. Since I still cared
about Jack, I tried my best to give advice or
even just comfort him. It was apparently getting really bad

(10:08):
for him too. The stress Ivy was putting him through
was causing his body to not allow him to eat
or sleep. At one point, while he was texting me,
I got scared that he might do something, so I
asked him where he was. He wasn't at the apartment,
and I immediately headed over there. We talked and hung
out when suddenly he got a text from Ivy. She
was breaking up with him. Yes, this girl broke up

(10:29):
with him via text message. She also said she was
going to get rid of the baby. This obviously caused
Jack to spiral. He immediately began sobbing, and I did
my best to comfort him. After a while, he asked
me to come back to the apartment with him, to
be there when Ivy came to pick up her stuff.

Speaker 3 (10:45):
No. No oh, I.

Speaker 2 (10:48):
Agreed and went straight to the apartment. No. When we
got there, we saw something on her bed that made
us both mad. Back before we met Ivy, Jack and
I had gone to a store and while I found
a box set of replica jewelry from the Harley Quinn
Birds of Prey movie. It was limited edition, I believe
about five thousand in existence, and it was only about

(11:09):
one hundred dollars. I was hesitant to get it because
of the price, but Jack convinced me to well. I
had apparently accidentally left this at the apartment. When moving out,
we found the box open on Ivy's bed, with some
of the jewelry missing. According to Jack, Ivy had apparently
found the box and hid it away in her closet,
hoping that I would forget about it completely. I guess
She and Vanessa decided to wear some of the jewelry

(11:31):
that day. Immediately, Jack texted Ivy telling her that she'd
better bring back all the jewelry items undamaged or she
wouldn't be getting any of her stuff. Then he also
took her favorite stuff bare a gift from a family
member as collateral, but didn't let her know about it. Eventually,
Ivy and Vanessa arrived. I was sitting on the couch,
so they didn't see me at first. They gave back

(11:51):
the jewelry, more like threw it back. Unluckily none of
it was damaged. Jack handed me the jewelry, and when
Ivy saw me, the first words out of her mouth
as she walked past Jack to her room, where I
see you brought the witch along?

Speaker 3 (12:04):
Literally, what did she do? What did she do to
you guys? What did she do? Nothing? Nothing is the
correct answer to that.

Speaker 2 (12:10):
Oh Pee, I'm sad and also mad at you. These
people are horrible. They're nightmare people, and they're just gonna
continue to do if you continue to be around them.

Speaker 3 (12:22):
Yeah, it's it's a hard thing to swallow and it's
hard to come to that realization. I'm so sorry that
you're so actively involved in these people's lives and so
in such complicated ways. But you know what you have
to do. You know how to get out of this.
You know that that's the best decision to make. So
do yourself a favor and just leave it all behind.

(12:44):
Ripped the band aid off, agreed, you can do it.
I didn't say anything, partially because I was scared, but
also because I knew she was wrong. I wasn't the witch.

Speaker 2 (12:53):
She packed up her stuff, which was one box and
a couple of bags. However, the box ended up being
too heavy for her to carry, too bad to help.
But Jack was refusing to let Vanessa into the apartment
any further than she already was, and Ivy was refusing
to have Jack out because she felt he was going
to drop it on purpose and break her stuff. It
was a bit of an impasse. I didn't want Ivy

(13:13):
to be here any longer than necessary, so I stood up,
walked over, and in a sweet, soft voice, I said, Ivy,
would you like me to help you move your stuff?

Speaker 3 (13:20):
I promise they won't break any of it. Are you here?
Why are you here. Sometimes people are are crabby people
and they can have crappy situations and you don't have
to be involved in that. You don't have to help
him at all.

Speaker 2 (13:33):
She looked at me with disdain, but eventually said okay.
So I dragged the box to the doorway because it
was too heavy for me to pick up on my own.
When I got there, Vanessa helped me pick it up
to bring it out to Vanessa's car. Vanessa actually tried
to sweet talk me, saying she was sorry she threw
my jewelry and that she didn't hate me. I smiled,
hugged her, and told her it was okay, but I
didn't actually believe a word that came out of her mouth.

(13:55):
I had already been informed by other people that she
was just as manipulative as Ivy, but I wasn't going
to let her know that. Finally, Ivy and Vanessa left.
I will say I was impressed with Jack because, even
though he was fuming, it was very obvious how angry
he was. He never raised his voice the entire time
they were there. I don't care about Jack. He cheated

(14:16):
on you, and then he never stood up for you.

Speaker 3 (14:19):
Someone yelling because they're mad. Isn't like necessarily okay, you
know what I mean. Like, it's understandable in some situations,
but like you know, it's always best to have a
kind of calm reaction, even if you're angry. Could have
managed your anger. So being impressed that someone's not the
bar is so low. Yeah, exactly, it's you. Just no, no.

Speaker 2 (14:42):
After that, I knew he definitely needed my help, so
I stayed at the apartment with him, encouraging him to
eat and drink whenever he could, and pretty much nursing
him back to health since he was very malnourished and
sleep deprived. I don't remember exactly when this conversation took place,
but I know it wasn't long after Ivy left. Jack
ended up telling me that Ivy had admitted to him

(15:03):
that she never liked me in the first place. Why
is Jack telling you this? She said, she pretended to
be my best friend because she wanted to get with Jack.
Something inside me snapped at that moment. This girl had
lifted me up, had made me feel confident, had made
me believe she cared about me, even loved me, and
it was all a lie. She had planned to steal
my boyfriend from the moment I spoke to her. In

(15:23):
that moment, all the heartbreak, the betrayal, and the feelings
of hurt from and mixed and boiled into a burning
hatred for Ivy. It was the first time I ever
felt true hate in my life. I was so mad
I wanted to break something, but I managed to control
myself enough to just punt the leg of the couch instead.
Jack helped me calm down from it. Well, now back

(15:46):
to the present day. Ivy actually did try to reach
out to me once to reconcile, and I almost gave in,
but luckily my friends knocked me out of that idea
good so I just blocked her and said good good Sadly,
the trauma inflicted on me from this whole situation left
me pretty scarred. Anytime I saw her out in public,
I would immediately have a panic attack. Even the thought

(16:06):
of possibly running into her caused immense anxiety for me.
It has also been hard for me to look at
my favorite flower the same way again. Later, when I
finally decided to go with therapy, I was diagnosed with
severe anxiety disorder, major depressive disorder, and mild PTSD. I've
been on meds for it, and I've gotten a lot better.
I don't know if I would say I'm completely healed yet,

(16:26):
but I think I'm getting there. I also ended up
moving out of the city, partially to find a better
job since the job market was terrible, but also to
get away from Ivy. But I did get some information
about what's going on in her life. She never got
rid of the baby, and after about I think a
year or two of having the baby, Social Services took
the baby away from her. Oh wow, Jack isn't on
the birth certificate. She had her excite it instead, so

(16:50):
they didn't have the baby live with him. Instead, the
baby is living with a woman that Ivy always considered
as a second mom, who Jack says is a nice person.
Ivy ended up moving away with her new boyfriend, not
the ex that signed the birth certificate, to a different state,
and he ended up being towards her. So I guess
she got some karmer there. Okay, Well, I think we
just need to not pay attention to Ivy anymore. I

(17:10):
will say, though this has me with mixed feelings. I
would never wish on anyone, but I don't feel sorry
for Ivy in this situation. Am I wrong for that?
Does that make me a bad person? And you would
never be a bad person if you listen to full
episodes of stories just like this. Just go to Spotify,
Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search up Okay, storytime. There
is a little bit lap to the story, but honestly,

(17:33):
you just need to stop, like block Ivy, stop talking
to Jack.

Speaker 3 (17:37):
Yeah. Unfortunately, yeah, unfortunately at this point, you don't have
much of a life of your own. No, it's very
much centered around all of these people. I'm sure you've
got other things going on too, you know, but like
this seems like I'm just you know, we're biased. This
is all we know. But you know a lot about
this situation. Yeah, that you're not involved. You're not You're

(18:00):
not even if someone needs your help.

Speaker 2 (18:02):
You don't deserve to like have to be, you know,
put through interacting with people who hurt you.

Speaker 3 (18:09):
Yeah, like you're not responsible for helping them even if
they need they need help in general, but does not
have to be from you. And I know you're close
to them. Yeah, I know you're close to them. I
know that you've had feelings and stuff and all this history,
but you deserve to walk away and you deserve to
move on because you can't help everyone in the world. Right,
there's gonna be all of these people in the world

(18:31):
that you could have a connection with that you could find, yeah,
care for and stuff that also happened to be terrible
manipulative people.

Speaker 2 (18:40):
And you aren't gonna help everyone, so helps no one.
It also seems like a Jack never really apologized. Yeah,
at least that Op's told us. He said he came
to her and said, Oh, she's being all like, he's
being awful to me, but we never got I'm so.

Speaker 3 (18:55):
Sorry for what we like cheating on you. Yeah, well
she did say that at first he was apologizing a lot.
But when someone's like coming to like this and apologizing
and sobbing for it, they're kind of putting themselves in
a position to be comforted exactly when they're the ones
that should be comforting you, And which is exactly what happened.
Oh he went to him and comfort him and just

(19:17):
was basing her actions off of the possibility that they
could still get together. And that's never what you want
to do, no ever, ever, ever.

Speaker 2 (19:25):
But there is more to the story whatever, I guess
I'm just trying to focus on my own life now.
I now live alone, still single, but I'm living in
a city I've always enjoyed being in, and I have
a job that I love. It does get a little
lonely now and then, but I have a lot of
good friends online. I talked to Jack and I are
still very good friends. I got over the relationship while
accepting that I will always hold a special place for

(19:46):
him in my heart, but we now see each other
more as family. Jack is also now happily engaged, and
I couldn't be happier for him. Common one says, the
way you blame Ivy for everything but let Jack get
away with everything doesn't sit right.

Speaker 3 (19:58):
Comment two.

Speaker 2 (19:58):
So it was never about Jack, It's about you. She's
obsessed with you. Everything she did centered around hurting you
When she didn't get the reaction she wanted from taking
your boyfriend, all of a sudden, Jack became useless. And
if you maybe think her behavior has something to do
with you, I don't think so. Ivy maybe is just
a type of person who thrives on other people's misery.

Speaker 3 (20:17):
Yeahah oh my, Yeah, that definitely is another thing too,
is like, like, you know, she's so angry at ivy,
but it is not expressing any anger towards Jack. But
he is absolutely in the wrong for so many things,
absolutely like did so many bad things. But I'm glad
you're in therapy. Yeah, glad to stay stay there. I'm
glad Jack is engaged to someone else. It's the same.

(20:39):
So you know there's baby steps here. Yeah, I'm glad,
But that is the end of that story. My bridal
party planned to ruin my wedding day, so I took action. Yeah,
action and finding a new bridal party.

Speaker 5 (20:53):
Oom.

Speaker 3 (20:54):
I like the mappleic. I Gen twenty one female and
my fiance Aaron twenty four male, are getting married in
just a few months. We have been together for three
years and have been dreaming about our wedding from a
very early on in our relationship. However, we knew we
had to wait a bit longer than we wanted to
because I was in a bad job and he was
in college working hard to get a good job to

(21:16):
support us. By the way, this comes from odd Protection
five seven twenty two And if you want to submit
your own stories, just go to the ur slash Okay
Storytime subredit. We had already chosen the people we wanted
in our wedding party early on as well. Some of
my bridesmaids, though, have shown me a different side of
themselves now that they have accepted the role. Right row
not good timing for that. We started getting everything set

(21:38):
and stone about sixteen months before the wedding date. I
have six bridesmaids as of right now, but the only
ones important to the story are Janet and Mary, who
are sisters, and my sister Eluise made of honor. I
have known Janet and Mary for almost my entire life.
They are both older than I am, with adult children
around my age. They used to attend my church until

(21:59):
nine months after some drama happened between Mary and someone
at the church. I respected this decision. I didn't feel
like it was any of my business, and I had
known them so long that I had no thought on
my mind that it could change anything between us. Five
months into planning, I set up a group chat with
the girls, giving them details whenever I could. Here are
the four colors you can choose from for your dress.
I just want you to feel confident and radiant as

(22:20):
a bridesmaid. It just please stay away from lace, as
my dress is lace. I don't care how you get
your makeup done. I am getting mine done natural glam,
but if you want to go glam, go glam. I
don't care about the hair either, Just do what makes
you feel good. This is the venue. I hire a
makeup artists for us. All keep that in mind. Later
ask them if they wanted to join me to go
dress shopping, and the only ones who were free were Janet,

(22:42):
Mary and Elouise. At this time, they were still acting
normally and I was very excited to have them with me.
I found my dress at the first dress shop we visited,
and I am still in love with it. I cannot
wait to wear on my wedding day. They were all
supportive and told me that I was gorgeous, and then
they couldn't wait to see me walk down the aisle.
Before I forget to mention. My sister and I used
to be very close, but once she married a man

(23:03):
she had just met and moved two states away within
six months, our relationship became strange.

Speaker 5 (23:09):
That makes sense.

Speaker 3 (23:10):
Then three months into their marriage, she got pregnant with
my niece, causing more strain on us as she was
less willing to travel to see me and I was
unable to travel to her because I was working six
days a week, ten hours a day trying to afford
a wedding. Wow, that's a lot oikes. But I'm the
kind of person who wears my heart on my sleeve,
and I often let people walk all over me. I've

(23:30):
given her and her husband some money, as neither of
them works. I had no problem doing that until I
found out that he was using the gas money I
was setting to them to pay for video games, so
I stopped. I voiced my concerns early on, as he
still lives with his mom. But my sister was set
on marrying this man, so I supported her in every
way I could at the micro Courthouse wedding as the

(23:51):
only bridesmaid and maid of honor. Now that my niece
is almost two, I feel like the sister I once
looked up to and loved no longer exists. She is
very different in all the bad ways. She seems to
have a mental disorder or something of the sort. She
paints herself as the victim in every scenario. Our parents
made a lot of mistakes, but she makes it seem
like it was worse for her, even though she has

(24:12):
been the golden child all my life. She now throws
you sound like Mom in my face anytime I suggest
that maybe it's just the way she's choosing to view
her circumstances, and maybe Mom is right. Yeah, maybe sometimes
Mom was right all along. Maybe Mom knows a thing
or two. Instead of making the effort to change the outcome,
she just wants everyone to feel sorry for her. Maybe

(24:34):
that's harsh. I don't know. This has been going on
for two years, and every time we call she asks
me how I am. She interrupts me to tell me
that she hasn't much worse. Your girl is tired of
hearing it. Recently, she came up for Christmas, and while
she was with Aaron and me, she couldn't stop interrupting him.
He'd open his mouth, say two words, and then she'd
talk all over him. I told her to please wait,

(24:56):
but she ignored me, and this happened several times. Then
when I I raised my voice and told her to
stop talking over him, she called me a couple of
choice words and claims that I was trying to make
her feel like she wasn't cared for or wanted in
my life anymore. That is such a giant jump yea
from what actually happened. Yeah, like she's trying to offer
advice and she's like me, she's just like quite down.

(25:17):
I want to hear him talk. You'd be like, oh,
you don't even want me to be alive.

Speaker 2 (25:21):
Yeah, like, I guess I'll just like in the countries exactly.

Speaker 3 (25:26):
But I often bend over backwards, holding tightly to our
relationship no matter how much she disrespects me. So anyway,
a few months ago, I asked what everyone was thinking
for a bachelorette, since my sister wouldn't be planning it
as she couldn't afford it, and she would want us
at a spicy club, which isn't what I want. The
response I got from Mary was, you're having a bachelorette.

(25:46):
I suggested dinner I'll pay, an Airbnb's girls night i'll pay,
or shopping day I'll drive. Janet, Mary and Elouise responded
with I can't afford dinner. I don't want to be
away from my husband that long, and I don't want
to have to travel that far just to shop. Wait,
how long are they traveling again? I don't know. It
didn't really say it's at a shopping day all drive,

(26:07):
So I guess they're going somewhere, some fancy outlet store
or something. Presumably this is like an hour max away
to a little shopping mall. I don't want to do that.
They can't be.

Speaker 2 (26:17):
Away from their husband for a day.

Speaker 3 (26:20):
Yeah, that might have been for the Airbnb girls night,
but it's just one night though. Yeah, come like either way,
you guys are coin, you can survive. So I talked
with Aaron and he said that he and his groomsmen
were going camping and that the bridesmaids could bring their
husbands and we just do a joint event. I love
him so much. But the response there from Janet and
Mary was no, that's weird. We don't even know the

(26:40):
grooms men. And that was that, and I agree for
a few days before deciding I'd just go get a
massage by myself. A few days after that mess, Mary
messaged me this, Hey, Jen, I just wanted to let
you know that Jennet and I hired our own makeup
artists for the wedding. We're also getting our hairstylist to
do our hair. My response, hey, Mary, Oh, I was
pretty sure. I messaged the group chat about four months ago,

(27:00):
letting everyone know I I have already hired and paid
a makeup artists to do all of our makeup because
I knew some of the bridesmaids can't afford one, and
I didn't want anyone to feel left out. So if
you haven't put any money down, don't worry about the
makeup artist. If you already have, I'm sure that my
mom and Aaron's would love their makeup done, so no worries. However,
I have no luck getting a hairstylist. Can you send
me the contact for yours? Mary, you didn't want to

(27:23):
communicate with us personally. I haven't checked the group chat,
so it's not my fault. I already hired someone to
do our makeup when you didn't want to take the
time to make sure that we were all aware of
the message you said. Did you literally just hear yourself.
I didn't check the group chat, so it's not my
fault that I didn't see your message. Ah, that's just
you sound. You sound that's so.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
And look at the messages where we're talking about the
freaking weddings.

Speaker 3 (27:51):
So it's not my fault, not my fault, Yes it is,
you just said, you just said, it's your fault. So
what what? That's crazy me. I'm so sorry it said
it was read and delivered to you all, or else
I would have contacted you. She then sent me the
number for the hairstylist. I messaged the woman, no response.
I messaged again. She read the message but never responded,

(28:12):
so I gave up. After paying almost two thousand dollars
for the makeup artist, I was not able to cover
everyone else's hair anyway, so rather than make it mandatory,
I asked how many wanted a hairstylist and who didn't.
The only ones who did were Janet and Mary. I
got a message from Janet after asking this in the
group chat, complaining that she and her sister feel that
the other bridesmaids will see them as stuck up because

(28:33):
they hired a hairstylist, but I, the bride, will be
doing my own hair. I did not respond. It's been
months since I messaged. Several bridesmaids, including Janet and Mary,
told me that they wanted to help with housewarming and
lingerie showers. Of course, I asked after the new year
if anyone still wanted to do this, and if not,
so I could get it together. Janet's retort was, you're

(28:53):
asking way too much of us. I've planned this wedding
by myself for the last twelve months. I have not
asked for help. The only thing I've asked them to
pay for is their dress, which they have re arrange
to pick from. The only thing I've asked them to
commit to is at dinner sometime before the wedding, so
that they know before the rehearsal dinner what the plan is,
who they're walking down with, etc. I was given several

(29:15):
complaints about this as well. You don't seem to understand
we all have lives outside of your wedding from Janet
shut off, Janet shut up. For some reason, I was
surprised that my sister didn't stand up for me. I
am not a confrontational person, so I was doing my
best to just forget the comments and get the wedding plan. However,
just recently, my cousin made me aware that he wouldn't

(29:37):
be at my wedding as he will be out of town.
He and my sister were even closer than my sister
and I were, and she considers him her safe person.
My sister calls me and tells me that now that
he's not coming. She is not as excited to be
at the wedding because there are people going to be
there that she doesn't really want to see. However, she'll
do it since it's her sister. Lead duty. Girl.

Speaker 4 (29:59):
You're so cd, I am.

Speaker 3 (30:00):
So generous, and so you're such a philanthropist. That's your wow,
getting rid of all these people.

Speaker 2 (30:05):
None of you are invited to my wedding anymore, or
gone boot them.

Speaker 3 (30:09):
If you don't want to go, fine, fine, don't go.
Don't go. Yeah geez. Not even an hour after this
phone call, someone who was mutual friends with Janet, Mary
and Me calls me. I was not going to tell
you because I didn't want to start drama, but I
would want someone to tell me if it was flipped drowned,
she said. I asked, what are you saying? I was
at dinner with Janet and Mary last night and they

(30:31):
couldn't stop talking so badly about you. They called you
a controlling bridezilla. They said that you have a specific
hair style you want them to wear, that you want
budge on. That you forced them to pay for a
makeup artist but no one else had to. They said
that you made them buy multiple dresses because you didn't
like the ones that they chose, and that you punted
them out of the Actelorette because they couldn't afford it go.

(30:52):
But the kicker was that when Mary said that she
didn't even want to be in the wedding because you
didn't leave the church over her drama, so that she
is thinking about just dropping out a few weeks before
the wedding or acting sick the day of Yeah, get
them out. Oh my god, they're out of the wedding.
They're literally out of the wedding. Easiest decision ever. You're
literally out of the wedding easily, easily. I already have

(31:14):
people that will want to use the makeup artists that
will like happily get their makeup done, and we have
a solution for it, like, oh, they're gone, They're out
of the wedding. Everything was a lie. Everything. I was
in shock. I couldn't speak. I had just told Mary
that she could wear the dress that she was insistent on,
which is completely lace, even though I had asked them

(31:35):
to stay away from lace because I wanted her to
feel incredible. I was grateful this person knew all of
that is not true. She suggested calling my therapist and
punting them out of the wedding. Then I was made
aware that several of my guests, whom I've considered my
friends for years, are going around spreading these same lines
about me, I guess, choosing Janet and Mary over me,

(31:56):
and claiming that they weren't invited to the wedding even
though they were because I'm too cheap and had to
lower the guest scout to afford a wedding. Oh my goodness,
this is all such lies just being pulled out from
all their butts. Oh my goodness, get.

Speaker 2 (32:13):
Your butts out of my feast man, your fat lies
out my face, out of the town, like literally, like
I'm pausing. Yeah, this is what you do. You go
to Mary and freaking Janet and you say, hey, I
was hearing a lot of stuff that you guys were saying.
It doesn't seem like you guys want to be part
of the wedding anymore. Yeah, you don't have to yell
at them, you don't have to argue, just say, calmly,
I don't think this is going to work out anymore.

(32:34):
Thank you for agreeing to be my bridesmaid at the time.

Speaker 3 (32:37):
Yeah, no, longer. Need you to do that now? Yeah?
Absolutely absolutely just leave it. Yeah, just get rid of them,
Get rid of them. I started removing people from my
guest list and others removed themselves for me. Thanks to
the Knot. In twenty four hours, I went from a
one hundred and fifty guests to one hundred twenty. Aaron
wants me to cut Janet and Mary and Elouise. I'm

(32:59):
really thank thinking about it. So what do you think.
I feel bad as they've bought their dresses and pay
for they're hair, and I know that they can't get
them money. But that's what I think that OPI should do,
and what I think that you guys should do is
check out full episodes with more stories just like this
one just on iHeartRadio, Spotify, Apple Podcast, one of your
favorite podcast app is and search. Okay, story time, we

(33:20):
got more for you.

Speaker 2 (33:21):
Oh boy, let's finish this story off and if it
doesn't end with them not going to this wedding, However,
I also.

Speaker 3 (33:30):
Don't want any drama on the day of the wedding,
and I don't want to worry about whether they will
or won't come that day. Aaron wants us to sit
down with Janet and Mary and Luise to tell them
that they're all uninvited as guests and bridesmaids and that
he will not let them continue walking over me like
they have. So what I be the a whole We
already have our answer. No, clearly not no, you be
the ahle. If they came, they literally actually did just

(33:53):
say that they don't want to go. They said they
were going to leave, they were going to not show up.
They're literally gonna be UN's the thick. I can't that's
what they're gonna do for your own wedding day. Imagine
being a bridesmaid and dropping on the day of because
you're far crazy. You're crazy, it's crazy. But that is
the end of that story. Hey, it's Sam. We're going
to get back to these stories. But here's three minutes

(34:14):
of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 2 (34:16):
My sister in law wants to have a joint wedding reception.
I stood firm and said.

Speaker 4 (34:21):
No, just say yeah the kids.

Speaker 2 (34:24):
A year ago, my brother, twenty five male, got married
in secret. My boyfriend and I were the only one
of our friends and family who knew about it.

Speaker 4 (34:32):
Secret wedding, Secret wedding.

Speaker 2 (34:35):
He was only a few months out of a divorce,
and I think he was desperately lonely. By the way,
this comes from deleted and if you want to submit
your own stories, go to our slash shokey storytime Separate it.
So I was actually living with him because he had
begged me to come live with him after the divorce,
and my profession makes it relatively easy for me to
relocate The sister in law twenty seven female Candice was

(34:55):
an O pair from China looking to marry for citizenship.
They got married after knowing each other for two.

Speaker 3 (35:00):
Two weeks woe.

Speaker 2 (35:02):
My boyfriend and I convinced my brother a few days
after they had married to tell my parents. My mom
was upset at being kept at a loop, but I
took Candas out for manicures in coffee to celebrate and
welcome her in the family. It was weird for all
of us though, because of the secrecy and it coming
so soon after my brother's first marriage. My mom asked
me to ask her if she wanted a bigger wedding
sometime in the future, if they should start saving and

(35:24):
help contribute. Cannis said then that she had never wanted
a big wedding and that she was fine with the
courthouse wedding. My sister in law and I are not close.
I moved out right after they got married and found
a job in a new city an hour away, and
as I was packing up, she stole a bunch of items.

Speaker 4 (35:39):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (35:40):
For example, I packed up my kitchen supplies and I
had a box of at least one hundred dollars worth
of spices. My boyfriend was helping me move stuff into
a van, and we thought we'd lost the box. Then
my boyfriend found it hidden under some stuff in the garage.
She also grabbed some of my prettier candy dishes and glasses.
I thought they had been lost in the move, but
I've seen them on display when I visited my brother.

Speaker 4 (36:00):
That's crazy.

Speaker 3 (36:01):
Chosen to take that.

Speaker 2 (36:02):
As a loss because it seemed kind of petty and
could have been an honest mistake. But Paul and I
have our suspicion the issue. Fast forward to now, my
boyfriend Paul thirty three mail and I got engaged. I
told my mom and she flew out for a weekend
of wedding stuff just for fun. We looked at dresses,
tasted cakes at the cake shop, talked about venues and
guest lists. We just generally had a blast. My brother

(36:24):
and sister in law currently live an hour away, so
they came up for dinner Sunday night. My mom was
very excitedly talking about dresses, guests, and venues. At dinner,
Paul and I could feel jealousy just oozing off of Candace.
She was shooting me clarees whenever my mom wasn't looking.
After they all left, I cried because I knew some
kind of shoe was going to draw from her. Paul

(36:44):
and I discussed it and decided to have the wedding
at his family home back east to try to protect
us from whatever Candace was going to do. I told
my parents and they requested to throw West Coast reception
at their house the week after our wedding ceremony for
friends and family who can't make it out to the
East Coast. But still I don't want to come to celebrate.
I was actually looking forward to it and thinking it
would be sweet and low pressure to have some lifelong

(37:06):
friends and family at some kind of picnic lunch, maybe
with games and music and stuff. So now this shoe
has dropped my parents, my brother and sister in law
are having Thanksgiving together, and my mom texted me last night.
She said that Candace is planning a wedding in China
two months before mine, where she will also, at the
time formally announce her marriage with my brother to all

(37:27):
our extended family and friends who still don't know they're married.
My brother introduces her as his girlfriend at family gatherings.
Candace wants a joint West Coast reception with me.

Speaker 4 (37:37):
That's not happening. No, I'd just be like, uh, this
is so weird. Yeah, first and foremost, No, no, no,
Why is nobody even told that they've been married?

Speaker 2 (37:47):
Yeah, no, one's aware about this marriage.

Speaker 4 (37:50):
I have so many questions on your brother's end that just.

Speaker 3 (37:54):
Your brother is going through something.

Speaker 4 (37:56):
I'm pretty sure everyone has questions here. I think your.

Speaker 2 (37:58):
Brother is being scammed or actually, I guess has been scammed.

Speaker 4 (38:03):
I just want to know what's going through his mind
of like, yeah, let's get married two weeks in and
let's not tell anyone about it, and then let's have
a celebration where, you know, maybe three months in we
have a marriage. It doesn't make any sense to me.

Speaker 2 (38:14):
I'm livid and a bawling mess. Our ceremony on the
East Coast is at least untouchable by her. But I
don't want my first and only marriage to be in
any way linked with my brother's second marriage. I can
barely stand my sister in law, and our relationship is
more one of forced politeness and tolerance than any kind
of friendship. I absolutely do not want to share a
reception with her. I just kind of need an outside perspective.

(38:37):
Is this petty on my parts?

Speaker 4 (38:38):
No?

Speaker 2 (38:39):
I don't want to be a bridezilla, and I would
like for friends and relatives who can't make it to
the East Coast have something to come to if they want.
But I don't want to share a reception with that woman.
Is there any way I can get out of it
but still do something for friends and family who can't
make it to the East Coast and there is an update? Literally,
the way that you get out of it is by
saying no, sorry, that's not going to work. I talked

(38:59):
to my mom found out more information. Family and friends
who can't make it to the East Coast have been
reaching out to my mom and were planning to give
gifts of their time and expertise for the West Coast reception,
such as performing music. A friend is offered to provide
catering at cost with food. She knows, I like another
friend whose photography I've admired for years, will be taking pictures.

Speaker 3 (39:17):
Oh nice.

Speaker 2 (39:17):
A lot of that was supposed to have been a
surprise for me. My mom just explained it to me
so I would know why she had said no to Candace.
After my mom said no to Candas about the joint receptions,
good on your mom for setting up the.

Speaker 4 (39:28):
BA is one of the w moms in the way.
Usually we get the opposite.

Speaker 2 (39:32):
Candace changed her mind and said she and my brother
will not be attending the West Coast reception and has
been calling it a fake wedding and charity. She's also
decided that she wants to attend our East Coast wedding,
and she's asking either my parents or my fiance and
me to pay for their plane tickets out there. She's
saying that two weddings is excessive and if I can
have to, I can afford a flyer out to one.

Speaker 3 (39:52):
Just say no, Like, just keep saying no, no.

Speaker 2 (39:55):
She's saying, yeah, no, sorry, if you can't make it,
that's you know, we'll miss you.

Speaker 4 (40:00):
Guess what if it gets to that point, just say
that's yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:02):
My fiance does not want her there and is considering
a list of ground rules per behavior, all based on
her past actions at weddings, good and holidays too.

Speaker 4 (40:10):
Yeah, everyone in your family other than your brother and
your sister.

Speaker 2 (40:14):
In law, if it falls on us to pay for
their ticket out. Number one, no insults or backhanded compliments
said to or about any of his family or me.
Number two, cell phone off during the ceremony. Number three
no unnecessary hospitalizations or life altering announcements for three days
before or after the event. I want to just say
nothing to her about the tickets, as she has not

(40:36):
directly asked me. Then if my parents want to fly
them out, fine. My best friend is offered to keep
an eye on her, and I have seen her handle
similar people very well.

Speaker 4 (40:44):
This is a crazy everyone's playing the part that they
need to pay.

Speaker 3 (40:47):
I know, it's literally just the sister in laws.

Speaker 4 (40:51):
Even the brother in law. Seems like the brother hasn't
done anything, said anything. It's just you know, I'll take that.

Speaker 2 (40:57):
My other thought was to maybe try to do something
next first, and she kind of got a raw deal
for her wedding, and I think that's what this is about,
that maybe kindness from me would eliminate the drama to
some extent.

Speaker 3 (41:07):
I doubt it.

Speaker 2 (41:08):
I asked my brother about it, and he said, no
showers or parties because he's embarrassed about remarrying so quickly
after his divorce and doesn't want the spotlight on him
at all.

Speaker 3 (41:17):
So why do any of you get married?

Speaker 4 (41:19):
Then?

Speaker 3 (41:20):
Hold up?

Speaker 2 (41:21):
He's like, you don't want to celebrate my new wife
at all because I'm embarrassed about marrying her.

Speaker 4 (41:27):
I would be like, did you hear what you just said?
Make it make sense.

Speaker 2 (41:30):
He also knew nothing about the request for joint receptions
and says he has refused to do a Chinese wedding,
So I'm not sure what's going on anymore. It's not
really a fancy wedding. I'm buying my dress secondhand, and
my friends and I are making the decorations, and the
venue is my fiance's grandmother's home. But it seems very
excessive compared to what she got. She has been saying
as much to my mom. It's just feeling like too

(41:52):
much hassle. Should we just elope? But there is a
second update let's get into it. Thank you all so much.
Paul and I have been reading all of the responses.
We took many people's advice and are scrapping the rules.
They were funny and interesting to come up with in
regards to past behavior, but there would be no way
to enforce them, and it would just give her more
information about what petty things she does that most bother us.

Speaker 4 (42:14):
That's fair, sure.

Speaker 2 (42:15):
I also talked to my mom and asked her to
stop updating Candace with plans about the wedding and to
stop talking to me about what Candace says. I told
her it's been stressing me out, so she agreed to
stop nice and that has been truly a wonderful gift.
It's like this heavy cloud has been lifted from the
whole thing. Thank you to everyone who advised that. Paul
and I decided our ceremony and a small reception after

(42:35):
is what's most important to us, so we are putting
our energy into planning that to be special and specific
and meaningful to us. Our paper invitations are only going
to invite people to that. One brother and sister in
law will get a paper invitation without strings attached.

Speaker 3 (42:48):
We're not paying their way, though.

Speaker 2 (42:49):
If she acts up at the ceremony, then she acts up.
Thanks for the stories and perspectives there from people.

Speaker 3 (42:54):
And we want to thank you.

Speaker 2 (42:57):
For listening to full episodes of stories just like this.
Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search a.

Speaker 3 (43:02):
Bookast very time. But there is a little bit left
to the story. Any final thoughts.

Speaker 4 (43:07):
Everyone sounds pretty healthy other than brother and sister in law.
Like I said, I feel like after the wedding, you
really got to talk to your brother and be like, Hey,
what's really going on here? Because this seems all irrational
and not you. That's the only thing. I'd pay no attention,
give her no energy the time of day if you
just ignore her, Yeah, ignore her. Get your things back, by.

Speaker 3 (43:27):
The way, steal your last wear back.

Speaker 4 (43:29):
Gets your things about candy dishes. Those are yours, man,
Don't let that slide. I'm sorry if those are your things.

Speaker 2 (43:35):
And then take pictures, have a little photoshoot with them. Yes,
but there is a little bit left. I talked it
over with my mom. She and her friends will plan
and put on the second reception so they can be
in charge of who to invite. I told her I'm
not sticking my neck out either away in terms of
how much of a spotlight Candice and brother's relationship is
for that one.

Speaker 3 (43:52):
I told her Paul.

Speaker 2 (43:53):
And I decided any extra attention or music or poems
we get beyond our own wedding days just extra, and
we we will appreciate it, but we're not going to
be directive at all about that one. I was most
stressed about sharing it because of the power plays, spiteful comments,
and compromises I was going to have to deal with
during the planning process. But now that I'm not part
of planning, I really don't care about sharing the focus

(44:16):
with anyone else, as is your rights. The day is
about you and.

Speaker 4 (44:19):
Your partner exactly do what you awys want to do
that it seems like you guys have communicated that to
a t and everyone's respecting that other than just one
person in the story. Even your brother is like kind
of complying in this way. So just do your thing.
Don't worry about her, I say, don't even invite her,
doesn't need to be there.

Speaker 2 (44:36):
I agree, but that's the end of that story.

Speaker 4 (44:40):
My sister in law pretends to like me but is
secretly ruining my reputation. He's like, so, I female twenty six,
just got married to my best friend slash soulmate, male
thirty three, and I couldn't be happier. Marriage has just
been amazing. I don't know how else to probably describe it,
but words don't really do it justice. By the way,

(45:02):
this comes from user Sarcy, and if you want to
submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay
storytime subreddit. So his family, for the most part, are
lovely people. His mom is basically the mom I never had.
I have a very strained, distant relationship with mine due
to her beliefs and our disagreements of lifestyle choices. I
still love her deep down, but I've already grieved the relationship.

(45:24):
Slash had some therapy sessions around it, and it is
what it is. I do have a great relationship with
an ant who is like a second mom though let's
go Yes, he has a sister in law. Don't know
exact age, but let's say late thirties. That is everything
I'm not. She's very into designer clothes, heavy makeup, botox,
always has nails so long, so I'm not sure how

(45:46):
she goes to the bathroom, never wears proper shoes for
the weather, and it is very talkative as to be
the center of attention. I used to tolerate her for
family dinners just fine. She's very different, which I found entertaining,
and I do love to hear a different on politics
and et cetera. I also kind of loved the fact
that she had to always be the center of attention,
because I do not enjoy that. It starts to get

(46:09):
weird when she actively doesn't like me for reasons I
don't know, and makes it very known. She's forgotten to
invite my husband and me to at least three dinners
we know about. One was her son's birthday party, so
we looked extra terrible, but told everyone we were coming,
making it look bad on our part. I would have
been fine if she just didn't invite us for whatever reason,

(46:30):
especially if she didn't want too many people there during
the VID, but telling people we were coming is shady.
Whenever she does come over to our house for dinner,
she doesn't even say hi to me anymore and never
offers to help clean up. She expects me or others
to play with her kid, who is one of my
favorite kids. Ever, but I, who doesn't have kids yet,
I am not used to entertaining them while trying to

(46:52):
cook and host dinner at the same time. My husband
and I usually take turns entertaining him again sister in
law's child, unless others are there, which is a nice
change of pace and good practice since we want to
have kids someday. We've offered a babysit the boy multiple times,
but only have done it once as a last resort
because she doesn't like when we babysit for no good reason.
What what, you're helping out and you enjoy the kid.

(47:15):
I don't understand the.

Speaker 5 (47:16):
Kind of person who's like, you're just offering to babysit
because you think I can't parent properly.

Speaker 4 (47:21):
I guarantee you that's what it is, but let's keep
you going. She also almost never helps out when our
mother in law makes dinner or has us over for
a meal, so I usually end up feeling bad and
helping her out. Good on you. It's a big family,
and depending on what you're making, it can be difficult
to cook dinner entirely yourself unless you really plan ahead.
The mother in law always offers to help when she's

(47:41):
over at both the witch's house and mine. The witch
being the sister in law, plus the mother in law's
food is delicious, so I try to help along with
my husband, so we're invited back for more delicious food.
Playing checkers, playing the long note they're playing. You're playing checkers,
not chess, here playing the easy game. This all changed

(48:03):
when my husband's sister came into town. My husband warned
me about this, but I didn't know it was this bad.
She was super friendly to me, which she never is,
and was super involved with her kid. I didn't need
to entertain the kid at all this time. She offered
to help out with things and was so happy we
got married. When we initially told her and her husband
we eloped on a whim, she didn't even come out

(48:23):
of her house to say congratulations. She just said congrats
in an unimpressed tone inside while we were outside and
walked away. Could you imagine like, just like congrats, close
the door. Yeah, I'm telling you that's what it is.
I feel like just when you whenever you take the
center of attention or everyone's giving all their attention to you. Op,

(48:44):
She's like, it's heart fault.

Speaker 5 (48:46):
Just you know, don't acknowledge it yeah, or like, don't
play into the like how dare you not congratuate? Just
be like whatever, thank you heartfelt congratulation.

Speaker 4 (48:56):
What I say is just do it with kindness. Just
keep doing your thing, be kind and you know because
when you make that one wrong move, she will double
down on it and make it blow up in your face.

Speaker 5 (49:06):
You just gotta kill them with kindness.

Speaker 4 (49:08):
Yep. Also, before we could tell my husband's sister, someone
we know it was her told her that we already
got married. When we specifically ask people, we told not
to spread the news until we were able to tell
them ourselves. We wanted to explain a few reasons why
we eloped since we did not want to offend anyone.
She also just overtook the entire conversation with my husband's

(49:29):
sister that he doesn't get to see very often. I
felt bad for my husband as he didn't get to
spend any decent quality time with her the entire week.
This is where it gets super petty. I made a
batch of bread using a really easy recipe online the
weekend before while the sister in law was over for
dinner and her husband really liked it. Uh, oh, you're
taking the spotlight. So I told her how easy it was,

(49:51):
since I always liked sharing recipes. She makes a point
to make the same exact bread and give a loaf
to her mother in law, which she would never do
when the sister isn't in town, and pretended like she
invented the recipe herself and made it sound like her
secret recipe. And it's so hard to make. I know
my bread, and I know the exact site that recipe
came from. Look at you, gop you bread maker. You're

(50:13):
like I know bread, trust me, I know the yeast. Then,
as I'm helping to clean up after everyone saw me
loading the dishwasher, she audibly goes, oh, this is arranged
completely wrong. Let me just fix it for you, dear.
I just don't respond, and my husband suggested we just
sit down. As you could see at this point, I

(50:34):
was getting annoyed. I walk into the kitchen later to
get a drink and see that the dishwasher is loaded
the exact way I loaded it, and she's struggling to
turn it on because she's never used it before. She
then proceeds to clean the entire kitchen while we played monopoly,
since she claimed cleaning was more fun, which.

Speaker 3 (50:52):
Is honestly fair.

Speaker 4 (50:54):
Sometimes, haven't I see you?

Speaker 3 (50:56):
Sometimes people just hate monopoly or she's just bad at it.
Those are sometimes the same thing. Yeah. Fair.

Speaker 4 (51:01):
The best part is she made a point to clean
where the sister could see her clean. Not the normal
parts of the kitchen like the counters. No, she literally
cleaned the wall because of how the kitchen is set
up where the sister was sitting. I felt bad for
my mother in law since there was still a bunch
of gross food in the sink that wouldn't wash down
and the counters were soaked. Note I've never seen her

(51:21):
do anything at my mother in law's house before, and
depending on the VID regulations, we do up to a
couple dinners every month together, usually since we all live
in the same town. There's so much more to the dinner.
I just highlighted some of the unnecessary snark directed at
me specifically. It continued with her fibbing about certain things
that happened, saying we were invited to things we weren't,
claiming she owns a business, but in reality her husband

(51:44):
does all the actual work but the business. While she
claims to be an influencer, maybe I'm wrong with the
new Instagram algorithm, but my husband showed me her account.
She has ninety thousand followers and doesn't get more than
fifty likes on a photo or more than a few
hundred views on a video, usually using the maxi amount
of hashtags, so that doesn't add up their bots bot.

(52:05):
I guarantee you flants she pays for that. I am
real bad she doesn't do it well. Now my husband's
sister is acting weird towards us, and I can't help
but think the sister in law was gossiping about me
behind my back. It seems as soon as we got engaged,
her attitude towards my husband and I completely shifted and
she started to actively dislike us. She was the only

(52:26):
sister in law in the family, so that could be
why she's being so mean towards my husband and I.
Also a funny tidbit is they built a new house
and designed the kitchen almost identical to how my husband
designed and built our kitchen, but yet claimed it was
her design. Ours was built before they designed theirs. How
do I deal with this? My husband's sister in law
isn't going away, and I just want to be able

(52:47):
to attend dinners and events if we even get invited
without me getting in a bad mood every time. And
if you want to be in a good mood every time,
you can listen to full episodes with stories just like this.
Just go to spot of Apple Podcasts or your favorite
podcast app and search Okay stories and we have a
bit more left. I think what I said earlier is

(53:09):
you gotta take what's out and like, you gotta talk
to them. I don't even know I would talk to
them to the law. Yeah you think just cut off.

Speaker 5 (53:16):
No, no, you become unbotherable.

Speaker 4 (53:20):
No, you gotta have a conversation before it is because
this is like everyone's just saying silent, no one's talking here.
You gotta be like, hey, I feel like the kitchen thing.
That's one thing. Whatever. Well if you if you let act,
you know, you know, if he wants to just become
you whatever.

Speaker 5 (53:33):
But if you actually want someone to have the conversation,
it can't be Op. It's gonna have to be the brother.
She's not gonna listen to. No, Op, it has to
be someone who she's related to. It's gonna have to
be her husband. Yeah, someone needs to Honestly, the question
at the end there is how do I go to
these events without having a bad time. You have to
treat this woman like a child in your head, Like

(53:54):
it has to be like not someone you're competing with,
not someone who's your equal. It's someone who is like
a little seven year old, and you just need to
like not take her seriously.

Speaker 4 (54:05):
I think that's one case. And then if she says anything,
don't do it. If she says, of course, no, I'll
do the dishes for you, honey, no, don't do it,
I'm like, all right, I'm not done. I got it,
I got it. I'm just saying it's an ego thing.
I think she's just jealous. She wants to be you
or wants what you have, But just do your own thing.
My husband suggested I just be as passive aggressive as
she is back to her if I wanted to, But

(54:27):
it's just not my personality and I'd rather unlive her
with kindness, you know, that kind of thing. But dang it,
it's so hard to ignore the things she says an does.
If anyone's dealt with something similar, any advice would be appreciated.
I have a feeling it's not going to get better,
and it's just going to get much worse once we
start having kids and get more integrated into the family.

(54:48):
My husband has offered to talk to his mom about this,
good which I really appreciate, as the issue started after
we got engaged. I don't think it will really amount
to anything, but I do appreciate him standing up for us,
mostly me, and doesn't think I'm being insane about what's happening.
Other than that, how can I actively not hate being
around her? And that's the end of that story.

Speaker 1 (55:09):
Hey, John Ogi host here, we're gonna get back to
this episode, but a quick three minute break of ads
from a sponsor's keeping the show alive.

Speaker 2 (55:15):
My mother in law's behavior is unbearable. I want to
remove her from our lives.

Speaker 4 (55:21):
I'm just kidding. Removed the bear.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
Twenty twenty one, my husband and I got engaged and
planned our wedding five months later. We wanted to get
married fast because he was married before and has three
children from his previous marriage. By the way, this comes
from Chef Okay nine through three five, and if you
want to spit your own stories, go to our slashowcase storytime.
Separate It so to be honest, he's not getting any younger.
I wanted a baby as soon as we got married.
This might be TMI, but it is important. Later, my

(55:44):
husband had a vasectomy after his third child was born.
We saved up money to have it reversed and plan
for it to be done after the wedding so we
could try for a baby.

Speaker 4 (55:52):
The good old snip, snap, stipsnap.

Speaker 2 (55:54):
Unsniped, the snap. Okay, back to the wedding. My husband's
mother came to visit for the wedding. She lives in
a so this was the first time I had ever
met her. The entire time she was here, she kept
calling me my husband's exes name on my wedding day.

Speaker 3 (56:09):
Bye bye bye.

Speaker 4 (56:11):
That's why you should meet the first.

Speaker 2 (56:12):
I told my husband he needed to say something because
it was getting ridiculous. He finally did, and she, of
course started crying and making a big deal about it.
I get that sometimes people misspeak and stuff, but this
was a daily thing. My husband and I have been
dating for years, and he and his accident separated for years.
It is not like it was new twenty twenty two.
My husband had the reversal early on in the year,

(56:34):
so we were trying for a baby. We made a
trip to visit my husband's family. They all live in
the same state as.

Speaker 3 (56:39):
Mother in law. We stayed with mother in law. Big mistake.

Speaker 2 (56:43):
Well, being there, she again called me by my husband's
exes name.

Speaker 4 (56:46):
Uh oh.

Speaker 2 (56:47):
Not only that, but I saw she had pictures of
my husband with his ex wife in frame, pictures on
the wall. I have sent her plenty of pictures of
me and my husband, including wedding pictures, but none of
those were anywhere to be seen. After we left, we
were on our way back home, mother in law called
my husband, claiming she was now missing stuff from her
house and had the nerve to accuse the kids of

(57:09):
stealing her stuff. She brought us up for months, saying,
I know your kids took this and that, which I
know for a fact they did not, because I was
the one who unpacked their suitcases when we got home.
Shortly after that, I found out I was pregnant, and
we made the mistake. Stop making all these mistakes. Man
of telling mother in law before I told my parents, Oh,

(57:29):
that's a rookie mistake. Honestly, why would.

Speaker 4 (57:32):
You tell the one person? Yeah, that is like not
necessarily bullying you but it's definitely not not with you
on things.

Speaker 3 (57:38):
And what did she do?

Speaker 2 (57:40):
She posted it on Facebook, tagging both mine and my
husband's names.

Speaker 4 (57:44):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (57:45):
I was beyond mad and made her remove the post immediately,
telling her I was not ready for it to be
on Facebook. Twenty twenty three, sometime in the winter before
I had my baby, mother in law randomly contacts my
husband and says.

Speaker 3 (57:56):
Didn't you have a vosectomy? How is it possible for
your wife to be pregnant with their child? Girl? Is
she implying something?

Speaker 2 (58:02):
Is she not using her brain and then using her
mouth to imply something?

Speaker 4 (58:06):
Also, that's none of your concerns, asking that that's crazy.

Speaker 3 (58:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (58:10):
This was a long conversation between them, with her pretty
much trying to convince my husband I cheated on him.
In the springtime, my husband's grandmother unfortunately passed away. I
was unable to fly down for the funeral because I
was eight months pregnant, but my husband went down. The
grandmother was mother in law's mother. When they were still
in the hospital, maybe an hour after she passed, mother
in law started talking about the will and asked who

(58:32):
was going to help her clean out her grandmother's house.
The next morning, she had already obtained the will and
was at the house taking an inventory, contacting family members,
claiming they stole things and saying she needed anything that
the grandmother had ever given them back. At the funeral,
literally at the cemetery, she was chasing family members down,
demanding dumb things like silverware sets back that she knew

(58:53):
they stole from grandmother. This whole thing could be a
story on its own, but moving on. In the summer,
I had my baby. My husband again made the mistake
of telling his mom the baby was born. And what
is the first thing she does?

Speaker 3 (59:05):
That's right?

Speaker 2 (59:06):
She posted it on Facebook, even after my husband told
her not to. I do not understand why she has
to share all of my news on Facebook.

Speaker 4 (59:13):
I don't understand you guys telling her as like the
first person.

Speaker 2 (59:16):
If you her last, I'm gonna be less sympathetic next time.
If you tell me, oh, we made a mistake of
telling her.

Speaker 4 (59:23):
See if I see another mistake that we told her
to be less sympathetic. We both are.

Speaker 3 (59:27):
Cause you've passed three times.

Speaker 4 (59:29):
I get it. You're excited. Yeah, And the first thought is,
let's tell the one person that is causing so much drama.

Speaker 2 (59:34):
But I think from now on, hopefully you would have realized, oh,
if we tell her something, she's going to post on Facebook.
So let's wait until we're ready for this to be
posted on Facebook.

Speaker 4 (59:43):
Or tell everybody else and tell her.

Speaker 2 (59:44):
Last literally twenty twenty four, I found out she was
trying to sue my husband's aunt and her sister over
something dumb with the grandmother's house. Anyhow, she's full of
drama and always has something bad to say about everyone,
and I'm just done dealing with her.

Speaker 3 (59:57):
And there are some comments.

Speaker 2 (59:58):
Comment one says, you don't mention and the thing about
how your husband has handled her bs in the past,
so you can try to cut her out. But if
your husband isn't also going to or is the type
that always eventually caves to her when she whinds, all
that's going to happen is you think you're done with her,
but she keeps on disrupting your life.

Speaker 3 (01:00:14):
Hope, he replied.

Speaker 2 (01:00:15):
I guess I should have added my husband already has
almost zero contact with her. She reaches out to me
randomly for information because my husband doesn't answer her when
she calls because she's always trying to start drama I
forgot to mention another huge thing she did, so I
need to update the post reply. So follow your husband's
lead and don't answer her. Thank you block her if
you want, not your circus, not your monkeys. Hey, you

(01:00:37):
updates some things I forgot to add. First off, when
she called me the ex's name, it was always conveniently
when my husband was not around, because she's doing it
on purpose, So he did not correct her because he
did not know until I said something. As soon as
I said something, he spoke to her. My husband does
not speak to her if she calls. He ignores her
calls because it always is to start drama. No, her

(01:00:59):
issue is not just with me, but I get tired
of the drama. She would call just to make up
stuff about her sisters and try to drag my husband
into her drama. He would tell her he doesn't care
and hang up. So now she tries to reach out
to me randomly, but it's usually something stupid like I
mail the kid's Christmas gifts two years later and I'm
still waiting on those. And a huge thing I forgot
to add sometime in twenty twenty two, after we visited

(01:01:22):
them her youngest daughter, she has seven kids. Finally decided
to take a DNA test because there has always been
a thought that she was not the child of let's
call him Ken, who is my husband's stepdad. And guess
what she was right? Everyone suspected that her real dad
was the neighbor. Ooh, yi, let's call him Jim. I

(01:01:42):
should add she's almost thirty. She's asked her mom before
if she had a different dad, and mother in law
always said that was crazy and why would she ever
think that. So she did the DNA test and found
out that she is Jim's daughter, not Ken's. Yikes, yeah,
that's you're thirty years old than you're finding out like, oh,
the dad that I thought was my dad the whole

(01:02:03):
time is not my dad, and it's my neighbor.

Speaker 4 (01:02:05):
Yeah, but you know what, at the end of the day,
he's still your dad. Still, he took the figure.

Speaker 2 (01:02:10):
When she confronted mother in law with the proof, mother
in law spent two hours. The whole thing was recorded,
lying and saying Ken and I weren't even together then,
which they were married when she got pregnant.

Speaker 3 (01:02:22):
Dude, are you gonna lie about this?

Speaker 4 (01:02:24):
It's crazy?

Speaker 2 (01:02:25):
Then it was are you sure I want to do
a DNA test of my own, and then well I
was ooh. Then Ken knew about it. It was a
whole thing, and for some reason she blamed my husband
for the reason his sister did a DNA test in
the first place.

Speaker 3 (01:02:38):
We had nothing to do with that. But you can have.

Speaker 2 (01:02:40):
Everything to do with us if you listen to full
episodes with stories just like this. Just go to Spotify,
Apple podcast, or iHeartRadio and.

Speaker 3 (01:02:46):
Search book his story time.

Speaker 2 (01:02:47):
But there is a little bit left to this. Honestly,
I think you need to follow your husband's lead and
go no contact.

Speaker 3 (01:02:52):
Very easy. Why do you even have contact if he doesn't.

Speaker 4 (01:02:55):
She's like King Midas but like everything rama.

Speaker 3 (01:02:58):
Yeah, everything she touches, he inst drama.

Speaker 4 (01:03:01):
Yeah, that's very easy. You have no reason to be
in contact with her. She's very rude to you, and
it seems like everybody else.

Speaker 3 (01:03:07):
Yeah, no one likes her.

Speaker 2 (01:03:08):
I would still say, like, limit contact if your husband
had contact, but your husband doesn't.

Speaker 4 (01:03:12):
God, I mean, your husband's like, no, I don't want
to deal with her, so just don't, which is very
oddic He would have given the advice of she messaged you,
why are you talking to her?

Speaker 3 (01:03:20):
Yeah? I feel like he would be like, yeah, don't
talk to.

Speaker 4 (01:03:22):
Her, don't talk to her, but there's a little bit left.

Speaker 2 (01:03:24):
Also, another reason I want to go no contact is
because she's bringing up crazy stuff in front of the
kids all the time, like her issues with her sisters.
She has no filter. I try to tell her the
kids do not care about this. Can we talk about
something else? But it always comes back to it, and
she will talk badly about everyone that isn't in the
house at the moment. The kids think she is ridiculous.
She also texted my husband like six months after we

(01:03:46):
left her house to say that the kids said stuff
to her that I know was a complete lie. And
that also makes me not want to allow the kids
around her.

Speaker 3 (01:03:54):
Then don't. She accuses them.

Speaker 2 (01:03:55):
Of stealing and then makes up lies about them, almost
like she's hoping we will get them in trouble or something,
and comments to finish this story off, comment one, how
did she get.

Speaker 3 (01:04:04):
The will so fast? She must have had it at
her house the whole time. And that's the grandmother's will,
right what they're talking about.

Speaker 4 (01:04:10):
Yes, yes, the grandmother that passed away.

Speaker 2 (01:04:12):
Just don't ever go and see her and don't talk
to her, tell your husband not to tell her anything
about you or the baby.

Speaker 3 (01:04:16):
She sounds like she lives for the drama. Reply.

Speaker 2 (01:04:19):
I have a copy of my parents' will because I
was named the estate representative, so after they were both gone,
I only had to grab my copy to start all
the legal crap that goes with being the representative. I imagine
mother in law had a copy or her mother told
her what was in it. She sounds like a first
class drama queen, and I'm glad I don't have to
deal with her, Opie says, I honestly don't know, but

(01:04:39):
grandma did not want mother in law to have anything
to do with the will, oh no, but somehow she
ended up getting everything. The family has videos of Grandma
saying she needed to get mother in law off the
will and then nothing should go with her.

Speaker 4 (01:04:50):
And that should that should follow that. Shoot.

Speaker 2 (01:04:53):
Yeah, if they have videos of her, that should absolutely
be enough.

Speaker 4 (01:04:56):
If they have videos, I don't know how it worked.
I think the grandmother needed to sign something.

Speaker 2 (01:05:00):
She did, but I think that you can also have
a video testament. Those are It depends on what what preceded.

Speaker 4 (01:05:05):
Yes, but those are yeah? Those yeah? Interesting, very interesting?

Speaker 2 (01:05:09):
Yeah, It also was upsetting that she got everything, including
the house, but did not spend a dime on the
funeral and headstone, and all the grandkids.

Speaker 3 (01:05:16):
Chipped in to cover the costs.

Speaker 4 (01:05:17):
Shocked knocking.

Speaker 2 (01:05:19):
Well, she only cares about herself.

Speaker 4 (01:05:21):
And she just likes to make everyone else feel bad.

Speaker 3 (01:05:24):
That is the end of that story.

Speaker 2 (01:05:25):
But don't just go no contact at this Yeah, this
is a very low contact.

Speaker 4 (01:05:30):
I mean yeah, at this point, it seems like nothing's
going to change her attitude, her mindset, even when she's
proven wrong. Yeah, she will flip it and put it
onto somebody else. There's no reason to just put up
with that mindset, that energy. It's all negative, exhausting, very exhausting,
and if you go even towards it, she's gonna make
it all dramatic.

Speaker 3 (01:05:48):
But that is the end of that story.

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