My fiancé crossed a line with my family…so I told him it was over between us! - r/AITAH | Reddit Stories | EP2066 - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam. This is a John your og
Okay Storytime podcast. Oh and we got some great stories
coming up.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
Before that, we have a quick two minute break from
the sponsors that keep the show alit.

Speaker 3 (00:09):
My fiance crossed the line with my family, so I
told him it was over between us.

Speaker 4 (00:13):
Looks like you went to North Korea when you're supposed
to say in South Korea.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
My fiance, thirty male, recently bought a house and I,
twenty eight female, moved in with him. Oh, the house
is in his name only, but our arrangement was that
he paid the mortgage and I pay all the utilities
and groceries. He has been trying to get me to
see the home as ours, but I still consider it
his since my name is nowhere on the mortgage or
deed or even the rental agreement, and he has been

(00:38):
taking care of all the home ownership expenses. It's kind
of respectful. By the way. This comes from you slash
ok b six zero two four on the r slash
Okay story Times subbreaddit I originally waited for us to
buy a home together after getting married, but our leases
were almost up and he had the money for a
house and didn't want to keep renting any longer than necessary,

(00:58):
so now seemed like the best time. I was okay
with this, since I wasn't in a financial position yet
to help put down money on a new home. Either way,
and think our current arrangement is more than fair. Anyways,
my family was super excited when they heard that he
bought a place and that we would be moving to
a house instead of continuing to live in our small apartments.
Let's go okay. They love him like a son and

(01:21):
we're so happy about him finally becoming a homeowner. My
mom and her sister, my aunt, asked if they could
come visit us for the fourth of July holiday since
they were off and wanted to see the new place.
They live about three hours away and wanted to take
the train. I initially told them no since it was
so close to the time we were finishing the home,
but when my fiance heard about it, he assured me
it would be okay and he was happy to have

(01:43):
them visit. He loves my aunt's cooking and she loves
to cook for people, so he thought it would be
great to have her come cook and we would have
our place ready for them by then. We bought all
the furniture we needed, beds for the guest rooms, et cetera.
His sister and her kids were also going to be
in town and would be visiting us, so it was
going to be nice having everyone meet and spend the
day together. I was really looking forward to it and

(02:04):
even bought a new grill. He bought fireworks to shoot
off with the kids. It was supposed to be a
fun weekend and our first time hosting as a couple.
At first, everything was going well and everyone was getting along.
My mom and aunt were cooking while his sister was
just hanging out talking and the kids were watching TV.
My mom started washing a dish and I mentioned to
her not to use the sponge to clean the counters,

(02:27):
because my fiance doesn't like that, something about bacteria spreading
from the sponge to the counter. We clean our counters
with sponges back home. I grew up doing it this way,
so I figured i'd tell her beforehand so she wouldn't
get upset. He decided to make this a topic of
conversation slash debate, and asked his sister for her thoughts
on this. It seems like he wanted to prove he
was right about the bacteria thing, since it was something

(02:49):
we had argued about way back when I washed dishes
at his apartment for the first time.

Speaker 4 (02:53):
Okay, just like a little like, you know, what, do
you think she's got a big deal?

Speaker 3 (02:59):
Something tells me it is. I had long ago conceded
he was right and stopped using the sponge on the counters.
His sister disagreed with his logic, though, and pointed out
that the sponge in the sink is collecting bacteria either way,
and he's going to wash another dish with it and
spread the bacteria to the dishes that he eats with,
So his logic about its spreading to the counter didn't

(03:21):
make too much sense unless he's replacing the sponge after
every use. It's getting pretty serious right now.

Speaker 4 (03:26):
That was very logical technicalities here.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
Very serious sponge topics. He proceeded to pull up CDC
articles and try to prove his point, but her logic
also made sense. She didn't think it was a hills
and teased him about being a psycho over the bacteria
sponge thing. He finally dropped it and we started talking
about other things. I should mention that his new home

(03:50):
has quartz counters, and he made it known when we
moved in that I definitely couldn't use a sponge since
he says it'll damage the stone, so the whole bacteria
to bait was pointless. Anyways, we were talking about the
house and I brought up that he has been very
careful with things in the new house and joked that
he has even been waking up at four am to
trim hedges in the front lawn like a psycho. Aw

(04:12):
he laughed, but I later learned he took offense to
my comment. My mom made a joke at some point
about him being quite particular about his new house and
laughed along with my aunt. Prior to this, he had
already joked around with her through the security cameras when
she was outside, by scaring her and telling her to
wipe her feet before coming in. He thought it was
funny to joke around with her like that. I knew
there was an element of truth to his joking, but

(04:34):
my mom took it in good fun though, since she
also jokes around with him, so that was fun. I guess.
The kids were sitting alone on the couch and I
was trying to be a good host, so I asked
if they wanted anything to eat or drink, and his nephew,
seven years old, asked for a cookie, which I gave
him along with a napkin, and he went back to
the couch to continue watching TV with his brother. I

(04:54):
didn't see it, but apparently he dropped cookie crumbs on
the couch while he was eating obviously nonpurpose there, good kids.
My fiance saw the crumbs and immediately got upset and
started scolding him, and I stepped in and said it
was my fault and that I gave him the cookie.

Speaker 4 (05:09):
Okay, I'm seeing a lot of little OCD activities here.

Speaker 3 (05:14):
I think so. I think so. I honestly didn't see
a problem with this at the time, since we sometimes
eat dinner on the couch and the material is very
easy to clean, but I didn't say anything about that.
My fiance turned to me and started scolding me about
eating on the couch in front of everyone. Wow. I
apologized multiple times, and he kept going on about how

(05:34):
the couch is brand new and there shouldn't be any
eating on it and giving me stern looks like a
parent gives a child from your partner.

Speaker 4 (05:44):
She's saying, I'm sorry that should be not in front
of everyone.

Speaker 3 (05:50):
Especially not in front of everyone counterfare. Exactly after I
apologized for the third time, his sister stepped in and
was like, okay, bro, apologize, I think she gets it.
I was super embarrassed to have him schoold me like
that in front of everyone, but I shrugged it off
since I didn't want to kill the mood and make
it more awkward for our guests. We ended the night

(06:10):
by shooting off fireworks with his nephews and they went
home with his sister and we went to sleep. At
this point, my family got the sense that he was
very serious about the up keeper of the house and
started feeling uncomfortable and like they were intruding in his
very clean space. The next day, they spend most of
the day outside of the house, shopping and going for
walks so they wouldn't be in the way. My fiance

(06:32):
spent the day locked in his office working and playing
video games and didn't really come out. It wasn't like
my family to spend so much time away, as they
usually like talking and spending time together with us, so
at night I decided to go on one of their
walks with them and my mom mentioned how much she
loved the area where we lived due to all the parks,
and couldn't wait to come back, but for me not

(06:53):
to worry because she will rent a hotel room so
she doesn't bother us too much. I guess it broke
my heart a little hearing that, because as I realized
we'd made her and my aunt feel unwelcomed in our
own new home. She'd never come out right and say that,
but my mom and aunt have visited me in my
tiny apartment before, slept on air mattresses and not complained
once or say that they'd prefer to stay in a hotel.

(07:15):
So it's not about the space that they're giving to them.
It's about the pressure, the pressure of the space. When
we got back, it was late in my fiance it
was still in his office playing video game Ah, come on,
not the games, come on. I could tell he was
also being distant, and I didn't want to bother him,
so I went to bed. He joined me a few
minutes later and wanted to talk. He said he didn't

(07:37):
like the comment I made earlier calling him a psycho
in my story, in that he was also unhappy with
my family joking and laughing about him. He said he
felt disrespected in his own house. I felt like I
had so many things to say to him, but my
family was in the next room, and my fiance has
a tendency to yell whenever we have disagreements, so I

(07:59):
just apologized. That's a red flag.

Speaker 4 (08:01):
That is a red flag.

Speaker 3 (08:03):
You have a tendency to yell when you're upset. Yeah,
with disagreements. I told him I was telling a funny
story and completely joking and didn't mean it literally, but
I understood where he was coming from and it wouldn't
happen again. I also apologized on my family's behalf and
told him they didn't mean any harm, and from my perspective,

(08:23):
it looked like he was joking right back with them,
but I was sorry either way. I also pointed out
his sister had also called him the psycho and asked
if he was upset at her too. He said he
had already talked to his sister about that and she
apologized and they were good. My family was due to
stay with us for a couple more days, so after
I apologize for everything, I told him what my mom
said about staying in the hotel and how I can

(08:45):
tell that they're feeling unwelcomed, and how I broke my
heart that they feel that way in our home. I
told him that since he was also upset at them,
not to worry, that I would make sure we do
things outside the house for the next couple of days
so they stay out of his way until they leave,
even though I was apologizing to him and my heart
hurt from my family, and I decided in that moment
that I couldn't stay with someone that created such an

(09:07):
unwelcoming environment for our guests when they visit, especially not
my family, since we're very close and aside from him,
they're all I have.

Speaker 4 (09:15):
This might be this is a good test trial, maybe
even couples counseling.

Speaker 3 (09:18):
Maybe yeah, I mean conversation couples counseling. That seems like
it's always a good good way to start things out, because.

Speaker 4 (09:25):
It seems like there's like a lot of work on
his end, like with uh OCD stuff, money to work
on the yelling part and taking jokes, like it.

Speaker 3 (09:33):
Seems like he's telling her a lot of like what's
wrong with her, but it doesn't seem like she's telling
him like things that he's doing wrong.

Speaker 4 (09:41):
Yeah, that makes sense.

Speaker 3 (09:43):
It seems like it kind of is just going back
to her and not really She's not really being listened to.
They traveled three hours by train each way, super excited
to visit my aunt. Even visited a special supermarket to
get the right sausages to make his favorite dish, carrying
it in a cooler by train along with other goodies
that he would like. That is so generous. Wow, so

(10:05):
much effort. Yeah, carrying it with you for three hours,
the love and the thoughtfulness she put into it, I
don't know, it broke me a little bit. She's far
from a rich person, but extremely giving with all she has,
and I love her so much for that. She's always
getting his favorite foods and buying him little gifts whenever
we visit her. I felt so bad for putting her

(10:27):
in a situation like that. I don't think he ever
even offered them a water the whole time they were
with us. It truly felt like he cared more about
his precious new home than the people in it. Anyway.
I told him after I dropped them off at the
train station on their last day, that I would be
leaving two and that it was over between us.

Speaker 4 (10:44):
Oh, my god, Wait, that's crazy.

Speaker 3 (10:47):
That is crazy. He wouldn't need to worry about us
messing up his new place or disrespecting him in his
own home anymore. Over the next couple days, my family
since something was off, but all I told them is
that he he's mad at me over a disagreement. I
didn't tell them that he was also upset at them,
but they felt it.

Speaker 4 (11:06):
And it's so hard to not have your partner be
about your family.

Speaker 3 (11:09):
Right, especially a fiance, because and they're.

Speaker 4 (11:11):
About to be your family too, And that's like, that's true,
that's a part of you, right.

Speaker 3 (11:14):
You can't just separate your family, you know.

Speaker 4 (11:17):
If you're on good terms. If you're not on good terms,
makes sense. But this seems like this family's on good terms.

Speaker 3 (11:21):
You're a great terms and this is a stupid reason
to not be on good terms with them. He locked
himself up in his room for the rest of their stay,
and whenever he would come out, he completely ignored us,
wouldn't even look their way or mutter more than I
I think. He only came downstairs once while we were
watching TV to snatch the remote and turn the base
off because it was rumbling. His room upstairs. Oh my goodness,

(11:44):
it's like he's not even there in his own house
that they're staying in. So weird. He didn't say a
word to any of us as he did this. My
aunt was hurt since she really loves him like a
son and felt like she did something to upset him.
She's a very sentimental person, and my mom let it slip.
She was crying the night before, thinking he hates her.
Oh my my word, dude, that's so sad. She wasn't wrong.

(12:07):
He would either look down or look at us like
he hated us every time we passed him in the
hall or something. But I know that would have broken
her heart. So I told her that he was mad
at me for something and not to worry. That he
still loved her very much, but was just mad at me.
The heck, that's crazy. That's crazy, dude. What is this
check your attitude? Broke your attitude for real. By the way,

(12:31):
we still love you very much and you can join
us live on YouTube every weekday at three PMPST. Just
tap our profile. Happit. He didn't bother to come out
of his room and say goodbye. As they were leaving.
My aunt's last words to me at the train station.
Were for me to make up with him because he
loves the both of us so much. I've been feeling
so conflicted about all of this since, so please help

(12:52):
me out here read it. On one hand, I feel
bad for calling him a psycho, even if it was
a joking manner. But on the other hand, I've been
feeling so bad for my family and how they must
have felt staying in a house with that kind of
energy when I know they had good intentions. So Reddit,
am I the ahole?

Speaker 4 (13:08):
I am saying, that's a lot of work you're gonna
have to do. They've already asked to marry you. I
feel like you give you should like give them the
give them the right and like try to work it out,
try and see if it should do well.

Speaker 3 (13:20):
At this point in the relationship, it's definitely worth like
talking about. Like she did say that she just left
pretty much.

Speaker 4 (13:27):
Yeah, she's probably heated, probably irritated with her.

Speaker 3 (13:30):
Yeah, and maybe she feels like she can't change him,
Like maybe there have been other things in the relationship
where she just knows that this isn't that he's like
stubborn with this kind of stuff, And so if she's
made the decision that she doesn't like it, there's no
point in even trying to change point, you know, So
maybe maybe that's where she's coming from.

Speaker 4 (13:47):
I refuse to buy my sister's wedding cake after I
promised to because I can't afford it.

Speaker 3 (13:53):
Don't let the meat cake.

Speaker 4 (13:54):
My thirty one female sister thirty five female got married
a few weeks ago in a beautiful way that my
parents paid for. The wedding was held in a beautiful
state because it was close to my brother in law's
hometown where most of his large family lives, and it
was also reasonable distance from herxton family. Mike'stended family lives
on the East Coast. We live in the Midwest. By

(14:15):
the way, this comes from mother Tradition seventy seven to
four on the ar slash ok Storytime super Because a
lot of our friends that live in our state were
unable to travel for the wedding, my mom decided to
host a small reception that will be happening later this month.
Oh sweet, I'm in my last year of law school
and I'm also working a full time job. When my
mom mentioned the idea for the second reception a few

(14:37):
months ago. I immediately told her I wouldn't be able
to help. I helped plan my sister's wedding, but I
volunteered to bay for the cake as well as a
way of contributing. She said that was fine, and we
should begin planning as soon as the wedding was over.
One thing led to another, and I ended up doing
ninety percent of the planning myself. Basically, what had happened
is my mom would suggest an idea and ask me

(14:59):
to research it. I would present it to her with
my research, and she would ask me to follow up
with the vendor. I would do that, but by doing so,
I advertently became the liaison between the vendor and my parents.
The only thing my mom has done on her own
is select the theme, the invitations, and the decorations. I
booked the venue, selected the menu, booked the entertainment, designed

(15:23):
and ordered invitations, as well as made the address labels
for them. My parents are still paying all of the costs.
I just did the majority of the actual planning. Here's
the problem. In the last two months, I encountered three
unexpected expenses that put about twelve hundred bucks of a
whole in my finances. I even had to pay my

(15:45):
rent late this month. By my estimates, I won't be
caught up until I received my holiday bonus from my
job in December. My last year bonus was thirteen hundred bucks.
The cake for my sister's party is going to cost
about three hundred bucks. I technically have the money, but
I'll have almost had nothing left for the month after
my bills are paid. Would it be wrong to ask

(16:06):
my family to help with the cost? I feel bad
for asking because I volunteered to pay for it and
my parents didn't budget for it. Also, my sister and
brother in law don't live in our state, so they
have to pay for a fly and hotel for the
weekend of the party. At the same time, there won't
be a party if it wasn't for me doing all
the work to plan it. I don't think it'll be

(16:27):
a bad I did ask the parents.

Speaker 3 (16:28):
I don't think that's that bad, especially if they're your family,
Like they should understand that there's some sort of emergency.
I'm assuming it's some sort of like health related, car related,
house related issue where you really didn't have time to
pay for it, like it was something very necessary, and
I feel like your family should understand that, and so
if you just ask, like, hey, I'm really sorry. I

(16:49):
know I offered to do this. I really want to
do this, however, I just don't think i'll have enough
money for other things if I do. Yeah, I feel
like that's super understandable.

Speaker 4 (16:59):
It's a super understandable. And she is in her thirties, though.

Speaker 3 (17:02):
I still think that's okay.

Speaker 4 (17:03):
We have some relevve comments just ducky four now, No,
and you wouldn't be wrong for sending them an invoice
for your time spent planning. I wouldn't recommend it, though,
unless you want to blow up. I also tell them
that they need to pay for the whole cake, since
your offer of paying for it was contingent on the
fact that you wouldn't do the planning yet and they
had you do most of the planning. You need to

(17:24):
find your way back home, opee, or they will continue
to take advantage of you. Also make it clear you
won't be setting up or cleaning up after the wedding,
as you have more than done your part, Opie said.
Or you made it clearer to my family that I'm
not doing anything else for this party. I'm not even
showing up early. The party starts at five VM, and
that's when I will arrive. I now realize I shouldn't

(17:46):
have agreed on to do too much, and I won't
do it again. Your people pleasing is showing opie mutual
buttons squeeze in for real. She wants a second wedding
reception on someone else's dime. The effing entitlement, He says
to clarify, the party was not on my sister's idea.
It was my mom's. My sister supports the idea, but

(18:06):
she doesn't care if it happens or not. Signal Violinist
ninety five says, not wrong at all. Good luck with school.
You didn't choose an easy road, but I'm sure you're
on a very positive road. Oh yeah, because she's a
law in school for to be a lawyer and working
about that. I totally forgot about that. Oh my gosh.
By the way, impress how much time you spent on
your sister. I hope she is worth it if he says,

(18:27):
she's definitely worth it. She's a wonderful sister and has
been incredibly supportive of me. She's actually paying the fee
for my bar exam as a law student graduation gift.
That's why I stepped up and planned this party for
her without hesitation or complaints. It might explain why my
family is oblivious to the fact that I've taken on
too much. And last comment, Kay Corolla says, you told

(18:49):
them you would pay for it, and you should on
your word. You have reminded Mom that you said you
can't help with the planning as it happened, and discuss
helping her but not by buying the cake. Then maybe
asked Mom to help you or front the money. Say
what you mean and do what you say you will do.
Be a person who is reliable and keeps their word.
It's extremely important trait. Opie says, I'm not saying this

(19:11):
to argue, but I do think it's unfair to say
I'm not being reliable or keeping my word. When I
said I would pay for the craike, I didn't know
I would have these unexpected expenses less than too much
before the party if emergencies happened. One of the reasons
I didn't have the money saved to cover the expenses
was because I spent so much money on paying the
cost of being my sisters made of honor, travel expenses, dress, hair,

(19:33):
make up. I spent the last year going above and
beyond for my sister. I would gladly do it again.
I just don't think I should go broke for buying
this cake and we have an update.

Speaker 3 (19:42):
I agree. I think that one commentary that was like
stay by your word, be a good person or whatever,
I feel like that's kind of easier so than done.
Like sure, you wouldn't do that in any situation, but
sometimes we agree to things that are out of our
actual capabilities, and then are we agreed to things that
are like, you know, taking on more than we can handle.
And I think it's okay to backtrack on some of

(20:05):
that stuff a little bit.

Speaker 4 (20:06):
You know, Yeah, your mom said she was gonna do this,
you said you were gonna do that. It yeah, flipped,
and I think you need a conversation.

Speaker 3 (20:12):
Yeah, because it's again, it's like it's not like she's
not helping, like she's helping so much, doing so much
planning and doing all these like bridesmaide stuff, Like that's
a lot of stuff. It's just this one cake.

Speaker 4 (20:21):
Honestly, you should just woman up and get another part
time gig uber drive until you get three undred bucks
and I pay for the cake.

Speaker 3 (20:27):
Then yeah, just you don't need like sleep or eating
or anything like that. Just like take all your time
to support this wedding.

Speaker 4 (20:33):
Yeah, don't show up on time.

Speaker 3 (20:34):
That isn't yours all right now?

Speaker 4 (20:35):
We got an update. About a month ago, I posted
about a conflict I was having regarding a cake I
had offered to purchase for my sister's second wedding reception.
I could no longer afford the cake due to some
financial difficulties I was dealing with, and the overwhelming opinion
of the sub was that I should tell my family
I can't pay for the cake. I follow that advice,
and it worked, oh yea better than I would have hoped.
When I told my parents about my problem, they offered

(20:57):
to pay for the cake without hesitation. It was nice
to me to pay for the cake, but they didn't
want me to do it if it would cause a
financial strength. My sister said we could just get a
cake from the grocery store, but my parents really wanted
it to be a wedding cake and they didn't mind
paying the costs. I hope you don't mind paying the
costs of your time to join us live at three
pm PST just tap her profile another surprising term. My
mom called me last week and asked me to explain

(21:19):
in more detail exactly what was going on with my finances.
I'd been very caught up when I told her I
couldn't pay for the cake, and she knew there was
more to the story. I told her the twelve hundred
dollars hole in my finances, and she was really empathetic.
She told me she would call me back, and when
she did, she had my dad on speaker. They were
going to give me a thousand bucks to help me out.

Speaker 1 (21:38):
Oh wow, a band.

Speaker 4 (21:40):
They said. They wish they could give me more, but
that's all they can do on short notice. I was
absolutely shocked. This experience taught me that being a people
pleaser only benefits to people around here. I'm finally learning
that setting boundaries isn't a sign of weakness, it's a
sign of strength. I hope this story can encourage other
people pleasers out there that it's okay to say no.
Great family were.

Speaker 3 (22:00):
Like, I think this is a great ending. I think
that's exactly what we were expecting, because, like, the problem
really wasn't that big. It was just in her people
pleasing head of just feeling like I said I would
do this and I feel really bad, like I really
want to, but I just can't. And that's okay, And
like we expected, her family is good and understands that.
And I'm so glad it didn't take a typical Reddit

(22:22):
turn and wasn't good And wasn't it banished from the buying? Yeah? Yeah,
so I'm I'm really pleased with how that all ended.
My boyfriend's family hates me so much, but I've only
met them once.

Speaker 4 (22:36):
You should have been better.

Speaker 3 (22:37):
I have known my boyfriend for four years now, but
we recently decided to actually get together in February. He
states he has not seen his family in about four years,
and that his brother's graduation would be coming up in
June in Washington, and that he wanted to go. By
the way this comes from you slash Julia Rose twenty
on the r slash Okay story time separated. I agreed, Fine,
sure I'll go, he said he had already to be

(23:00):
writing with his sister let's call Christine and her fiance.
I said, okay, since they're the ones that live in
California with us. Months before the trip, I have never
spoken a word to his sister Christie, nor to his family.
But his sister Christie said that she would not be
allowing me to go to her wedding. It was not
within her budget at first, she said, and because she

(23:22):
did not know me. But her wedding is now in September,
and we would be writing from California to Washington together
in June and spending an entire three day weekend together.
Why would I not be allowed to be your brother's
plus one? And we even offered to pay for all
my costs then as well, which was all declined. So
my boyfriend said he would just not attend her wedding.

(23:43):
Then oo, here comes June time for the day of
the trip, I intuitively just had a bad feeling about
going all day long. My boyfriend got off work at
around four pm, met Christy at the car rental place,
and then he told her to meet us later on
and he would tell her when we were ready, as

(24:04):
he had to finish running a few errands for us
to leave with everything smoothly for a trip. Well, the
minute he got home, his sister was already at our place.
She looked at him and said, did you just get here?
So he comes upstairs as I am already in a
rush to go. He proceeds to say she's waiting downstairs.
He hasn't showered. He told me what he wanted to pack.

(24:25):
I never know what clothes he wants to wear, and honestly,
he takes a long time on the toilet. I started
telling him that it is rude of his sister to
just show up. She called him every ten minutes for
an hour, saying let's go. Yet she wasn't going to
be the one driving. My boyfriend was supposed to drive
us all the way to Washington or switch off with me,
So why does it matter when we left. We were

(24:46):
going to get there on time regardless. Well, Christy was
on the phone with his stepmom let's call her Tina,
and she said it's too late at night to drive
and dangerous. So Christy left. We walked downstairs about an
hour later and they were gone and said that they
would come back around one to three am. My boyfriend
and I decided to leave in our own car, in

(25:07):
my car actually, and we drove to Washington all night long.
We got there just fine. I was exhausted from staying
up all night on a long drive. From California to Washington.
It was my first trip ever going that far. At
most I have gone from California to Oregon and driving
all along the coast just short of the Oregon border.
I have never been to Washington before. I was nervous
to meet my boyfriend's family. Well, the time had come.

(25:29):
We arrived at his parents' house. The minute we walked
up onto the port, his stepmother, Tina opened the front door.
She acted as though she had cared about how we
were doing, and then in one instance, instantly started berating
my boyfriend on leaving his baby sister behind because she
had never driven that far on her own before. Yet,
his sister and I are the same age, both twenty four,

(25:51):
and my boyfriend is twenty seven. If my boyfriend and
I just switched off halfway driving, she sure can drive
here as well on her own. We went side the
house and his stepmom was still going on ah. His
stepmom was saying that we should have been ready on
Christie's time, because Christy was ready with no remorse for
what we had to do with ourselves to go on
our own trip as well.

Speaker 4 (26:12):
Well, maybe Christy should have learned patience.

Speaker 3 (26:14):
I agree, I had to take time off work, and
I had animals that I had to drop off with
my mom to stay at her place. While I have
been silent this whole time, letting his stepmother brate and
talk down horribly to my boyfriend while still passively saying
it towards me too, especially when she's saying it's not
adult like. Basically, it was like she was talking behind

(26:35):
my back to my face. Ah, I would say, fifteen
minutes had gone by and she was still ranting on.
I eventually interrupted and said, I'm sorry. I don't mean
to say anything wrong, but as far as I was aware,
we had never set a time on leaving, and Christine
was aware we had stuff to do. She also had
first said that she would get a snacks or food

(26:56):
for the trip, and then said, nah, never mind, you
guys go and get all the snacks. I was just
asking all about yourselves. So that set us back with
one more thing added to the list, and that was
really it. He had to shower, which was the only
reason they sat downstairs for so long. I also had
to drop off my German shepherd in a new apartment
at my mom's house, and I was rushing to get

(27:18):
us already and I didn't want to waste even more
time introducing the two of them, since he may be
scary and he's very loud, and apparently because I said
those few simple sentences, I disrespected his stepmother Tina, in
her own house. It doesn't seem like disrespect. That does
seem like she's just saying what happened. I guess how

(27:39):
you say it depends on the disrespect, but.

Speaker 4 (27:42):
Doesn't sound like she said disrespectfully. She was just laying
it all out and hope he was also just got
back from driving all night.

Speaker 3 (27:48):
When I went to the bathroom immediately after this, Tina
had pulled my boyfriend aside and told him that she
does not like me, that I'm rude. I should have
never said a single thing in her effing house and
been a mute. She also said that I am the
most disrespectful person ever. All of this. While I was
in the bathroom, I felt the vibes were so off.

Speaker 4 (28:09):
It's so weird.

Speaker 3 (28:10):
I could not believe we had just been getting yelled
at from the minute we had walked up onto the porch.
I have never met this person a day in my life.
That is not very welcoming at all. I started looking
for a hotel room and how many points I had
for my hotel rewards so I could get a room
somewhere else, since the original plan was to say it
his parents.

Speaker 4 (28:28):
It's fair, that's fair, That is pretty fair.

Speaker 3 (28:30):
Honestly, but there was no way I could stay with
his parents after all that. Okay, so we got a
hotel room. Nice at first, my boyfriend said I wasn't
trying hard enough with his family. My boyfriend makes me
apologize on the phone to Tina for being disrespectful while
on our way to the motel. I told her I'm
sorry if she felt like that, because that was not

(28:50):
my intentions at all. I told her that I had
just wanted a normal first introduction to happen. Graduation was
this night as well. Also, Christie still hadn't which led
to Tina yelling at me because Christie's back was hurting,
so she stopped in organ They stopped in Orgon because
Christie's fiance couldn't drive due to epilepsy. This is my

(29:10):
first time hearing of this. How would I know that
I was also yelled at for the graduation for his
brother being ruined by me, even though I did not
attend the graduation at all and stayed in our hotel.
Fast forward to the entire weekend. I was around them
at the house. We did not really speak to each other.
They did not ask things about me. I only had
one drink at the house. I did not vaporround them.

(29:32):
I stayed outside. The only one who spoke to me
and treated me like a human this entire weekend was
my boyfriend's fifteen year old sister. Why did I mention
the beer and the vaping. It's very important to the
story for later on.

Speaker 4 (29:43):
Oh I see I see you.

Speaker 3 (29:45):
Christy never said hello, nothing to me at all. It
was honestly one of the most depressing experiences of my life.
I never for a thought would have ever had gone
had I knew it would have been like this, had
I knew that it. It feels like my life has
changed a bit because of this. I also should mention
now I have lost one hundred plus pounds in my

(30:06):
life from being a fat person my whole life to
in the past few years being fairy into fitness and
getting healthy. Good job, good for you. I have all
the things related to weight loss. When it comes to
looser skin on my arms and thighs, I have worked
hard for the confidence I have gained now, just to
be knocked down for all my efforts. I want to
say maybe a week had gone by the cops knocked
on my door. I wasn't home. My boyfriend and mother were.

(30:29):
The cops said that they were there to provide a
welfare check because his family was worried for my boyfriend's welfare.
They said that I had beat up my boyfriend said
he can't speak to his family, that I am a
Coca Cola head and like et cetera. Oh witch, none
of that is true.

Speaker 4 (30:47):
You had one beer?

Speaker 3 (30:48):
Yeah, this is where did this come from. I still
never told my boyfriend he couldn't talk to them, so
what the heck? Since then, we have had the cops
call our house four times. It has been four months.
His family still leaves texts and calls saying that I'm fat, ugly,
my skin is disgusting, and that I'm a Coca Cola head.

(31:10):
I vape and drank soon it means I'm a loser
and that I will do math or Coca cola and
beat up my boyfriend in his sleep. I'm a manipulator,
I'm a user. If he has kids with me they
will never want anything to do with them, and that
I will end up abandoning my kids. That I'm a
B word, i am toxic, et cetera. You think of it,

(31:31):
They've said it. But yet why I have never understood
was I the problem? From the few simple sentences I
said about the graduation? Was that really truly so disrespectful
to defend my partner and I? When before I went
on the trip, my partner told me how horrible his
family has treated him growing up and that he had
hoped they had changed. From one meet where I did

(31:53):
not talk to them about anything, I now deserve the
cops being called on me from now on. That will
now be on my record of nine one one calls
going to my residence for potential domestic violence that could
ruin my life in public reputation with false accusations like that.
By the way, something that could never ruin your life
is joining us on live on YouTube every weekday at

(32:16):
three pm. Just tap pr profile. Now it's September and
his sister, Christie's wedding is here this weekend. The whole
family is coming in town today. I feel as though
after four months I have a right to ask my
boyfriend to no longer speak to them from now on
until they learn that it's not acceptable to say those

(32:36):
things about me, because obviously what my partner has been
saying to them to so called defend me has not
been working right or am I entirely in the wrong here.

Speaker 4 (32:46):
I would have a hard conversation with yourself, think do
I want to be with this person? How long do
I want to be with this person? If he has
a good relationship with his family, you might need to
dip out. They're going to treat you like this. He
has a good relationship with y, yeah, because it's like, oh,
we're good, there's nothing wrong here. Yeah, it's that's just
how they are.

Speaker 3 (33:04):
But it doesn't seem like that's the case. Items Like
he's already had a bad relationship with them already in
that they've like been terrible to him in general, and
then now that she's here, now she's dealing with that. Yeah,
maybe don't ask him to cut them out. I think
maybe have a conversation where you suggest no, because I
think if you just come right out the gate being like, hey,

(33:25):
I need you to do this, I need you to
cut out your entire family because they're terrible and you
need to see that. Like that might be true. They
might be terrible. He might need to see it, and
that might be the best decision for him, but he
needs to come to that on his own.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
Hey, it's Sam, your og host. Here.

Speaker 2 (33:38):
We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three
minutes of ads from our sponsors. My pregnant sister demanded
I house her and her delinkud boyfriend.

Speaker 3 (33:47):
I refused.

Speaker 1 (33:48):
That's a lot of people.

Speaker 3 (33:49):
It's too many people. My family and I grew up
very poor.

Speaker 2 (33:52):
From when I was old enough to legally work, I nineteen,
female have had to take on multiple jobs while balancing
school to help with my family and my younger sister.

Speaker 3 (34:01):
By the way, this.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
Comes from leone sixty eight on the Hour slash hookey
Storytime Suburbs. Growing up, I never had a lot, and
whatever money I earned, I would spend on my sister's
sixteen female and family. When I was eighteen and had
just been accepted into college, my dad's business that he
worked on for the past couple of years finally took off.
This also meant that my sister could now have a
normal high school experience without worrying about money. While I

(34:24):
was in college, I wasn't in contact with my sister
that much since I was so busy with school work. However,
from our calls and her social media, I could tell
she had changed completely and was involved with some bad people.
She would post videos on her snapchat of her getting uk,
smoking dope, jeweling, driving while most likely under the influence,
et cetera. I tried reaching out to her, but she

(34:45):
would mostly deny the claims and told me to mind
my own business. At some point, she'd justify her actions
using the argument, this is what the cool kids do now.
Not everyone was a nerd like you.

Speaker 1 (34:56):
In high school, so she's doing college stuff as a
high schooler.

Speaker 2 (34:59):
One of my high school friend who also had a
brother in the same grade, reached out to me and
said that she heard that my sister was seeing a
sketchy guy from another's school. Apparently he sells substances and
was expelled from my sister's high school. I asked my
sister about this and she denied it. Last week, I
got a phone call from my mom who was sobbing.
She tells me that my sister is pregnant. I was

(35:20):
so shocked. That I could not speak. Then I was
angry when I was her age and even younger. I
gave her everything, and so did my parents, so she
could have all the opportunities her peers had since my
dad's business became lucrative. They've given her every opportunity to succeed.
Any extracurricular sport she wants, academic tutoring, school activities, et cetera.
I never got any of those things. It angered me

(35:41):
so much that she took all of this for granted
and efed up her life. The father her delinquent boyfriend,
who got expelled and sold substances. She blows up my phone,
but I don't respond. She then sends me a series
of long text messages asking if she can crash at
my place. She also asked me if I could make
her an appointment to see a doctor. Lastly, she asks
if it would be okay if her boyfriend comes and

(36:03):
stays over. Sometimes I understand like letting her stay.

Speaker 1 (36:06):
This sister stay over she wants even if you guys
are on, like, eh, yeah.

Speaker 3 (36:11):
I still, I mean, I still sister would want to
be there for your Yeah.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
But the boyfriend a sketchy boyfriend.

Speaker 2 (36:17):
Who who's who's a dealer. I shut her down. I
told her that you dug this hole for yourself. If
you allowed yourself to become pregnant, then you should be
able to deal with the consequences. I mean, I understand why.
I hope he is saying this because she's eighteen.

Speaker 1 (36:30):
Yeah, but but not the way to go about I mean, like, at.

Speaker 3 (36:34):
Least her parents should be. She's not an adult.

Speaker 1 (36:36):
She doesn't know what She's so naive. I mean, you
can tell that from just her be like, ah, I'm
the cool kid an adult. Yeah, two high schoolers do.

Speaker 3 (36:43):
Also.

Speaker 2 (36:44):
I'm currently sharing a small apartment with two roommates. She
begged some more and I denied her. In the past
few days, she's been texting me and calling me NonStop,
saying that she has nowhere to go and has been
living in her boyfriend's car. I haven't responded to a
single message of hers, but I feel my resolve wavering
a bit. I fully don't support her, but maybe I'm
an a hole. And there are two edits in an update,

(37:05):
so we'll read those edits and then get into the update.
Edit says to clarify I would still never house her
in my apartment that would be extremely disrespectful towards my
roommates and would get me kicked out due to the
least agreement I meant, I was considering giving and sending
her some money. Edit to my parents have disowned her,
not kicked her out. They are refusing to acknowledge that
she is their daughter, but she is still welcome to

(37:25):
live in their house. Interesting, Wait, what, you're not our daughter,
but you can live here. She chose not to since
my parents are absolutely fuming and probably will yell at
her and criticize her, which she honestly needs.

Speaker 1 (37:36):
I would say, take the yelling in the criticism. Yeah,
rather than living in a car, get a roof over
your head.

Speaker 3 (37:41):
And I feel really bad.

Speaker 2 (37:44):
I mean, obviously I don't think OP necessarily has a
responsibility to house her, especially in the living situations.

Speaker 1 (37:50):
Yeah, especially the situation where mats and then also losing
the lease or Yeah, you.

Speaker 2 (37:55):
Just like a lot of stuff that she shouldn't have
to handle as an eighteen year.

Speaker 1 (37:58):
Old, which I thought that maybe crash Houch wants in
a blue moon, but not stay with you entirely.

Speaker 2 (38:03):
Yeah, but I feel bad for this sixteen year old because,
like on the one hand, I understand that a lot
of parents would see this and be like, well, you're
so irresponsible and you have to deal with the consequences.

Speaker 1 (38:13):
We give you everything, Yeah, you took it for granted way.

Speaker 2 (38:16):
And blah blah blah. But there is another update. It's
been a little bit more than two weeks since my
first post, and I guess it's safe to say now
that the situation has been resolved, oh, in probably the
best way possible. Okay, okay. In my last post, I
stated that my sister was still living in her car
of her delinquent boyfriend who sells drug and was refusing
to come home because my parents had disowned her. At

(38:37):
this point, I would like to clarify that my family
and I are Chinese, and it is common in Chinese
culture to disown your kids when they do something that
largely disappoints you or embarrasses you. However, this is not
a permanent disownment like many of you have brought up.
As long as my sister apologizes sincerely and they can
see that she is actively trying to fix her mistake
and become better, they will take her back as their daughter.

(38:59):
Another clarification would be for those people who assumed that
my dad kept us poor since he was stubborn and
wanted to work on his business and not get a
real job. His business was a passion project. On the side,
my dad was working fifty hours a week at two jobs.
So it does seem kind of like the sister is stubborn,
alrighty on to what ultimately happened with my sister. Despite
the chain of advice I sent her, she ignored me.

Speaker 1 (39:19):
Still stubborn.

Speaker 2 (39:20):
I regularly checked in with her over the next week
to see how she was, and she gave me one
word replies until they ultimately stopped. I was growing concern
after she didn't pick up her cell, but then I
received a call from my parents. According to my mom,
my sister has returned home crying and begging for forgiveness.

Speaker 1 (39:38):
You didn't even need to do that. Yeah, you could
have just been like, I'm sorry, please help me.

Speaker 3 (39:42):
She has been through a lot, she was living in
a car, she's pregnant.

Speaker 1 (39:45):
But again, all she needed to do is just apologize.
That's all it took. You just had a lot of
pride for some reason. I guess he sometimes it just
has to bonky on the head.

Speaker 3 (39:53):
I really got a boku on the head to figure
it out.

Speaker 2 (39:55):
Yeah, she had a serious talk with my parents where
she apologized for her behavior and promised to make a
mand let's go. My mom was very tearful as well.
They schedule the doctor's appointment for her immediately, and I
believe she went in the next day.

Speaker 1 (40:06):
Wow. The parents, I'm telling you, the parents were They
were just like, you need to learn your lesson. Yeah.
I feel like they know, like they all know, Like
she's just not going to get it until she gets it.
And she got it finally.

Speaker 3 (40:18):
I have no idea what made her finally break and
return home, So I texted her first.

Speaker 2 (40:22):
I told her I was proud of her for taking
action and being mature, and asked her if anything happened
between her and her boyfriend. At first, she was pretty
stubborn and kept insisting that she was just over living
in a car, But after a while, she finally admitted
that her boyfriend had requested that she starts selling for
him if she wanted to keep living in his car.

Speaker 1 (40:41):
Oh my didn't do that.

Speaker 3 (40:42):
He was sneaking her so wanted her to become a
dealer's one.

Speaker 1 (40:45):
There it is LMAO.

Speaker 3 (40:46):
What an fing a hole.

Speaker 2 (40:48):
Glad my sister finally returned to her senses, she told
me she broke it off with him, and I sincerely
hope that's the truth. This past Monday, she got the
pills to successfully terminate her pregnancy. According to my mom,
she was that they do at asap, which was really
a breath of relief for all of us because we
were worried she might want to keep it, which I think.
I think she really was not ready for this. I mean,

(41:09):
what sixteen year old is ready?

Speaker 3 (41:11):
Yeah, for a child. But I'm glad that her parents
seemed to be supportive of her in this.

Speaker 1 (41:15):
I think again, because it was such a cultural difference. Yeah,
with them being Chinese. When we heard disowned, we're like whoa.
But as Op stated, it's like just a it's actually
a very common thing.

Speaker 3 (41:26):
You've been grounded.

Speaker 1 (41:27):
Yeah, pretty much your grounded. Just say you're sorry and
you we're all back to family. Yeah, I think, And
it was reiterated ironically that she's stubborn and she she
just finally hit her and she understood, And I think
that's you just grow from there.

Speaker 2 (41:41):
You know what, you can help us grow our lives
every week to at three pm PSD just to have
her profile. The future seems pretty bright right now for her.
My parents decided to pull her out of the public
school and send her to a progressive private school that
some of my close friends also went to. Nice It's
a fantastic school, and I think it'd be great for her.
She's officially started next Monday. I'm going to visit her

(42:01):
and my family this weekend and see how she's doing.
Edit forgot to add that the new school also has
a wonderful counseling department. I urged my parents to speak
to the head psychologist there and they did, and she
will be having mandatory weekly meetings with her and.

Speaker 3 (42:14):
Another therapist at the school. What a great turnaround.

Speaker 1 (42:17):
Great turnaround.

Speaker 2 (42:17):
Yeah, I was like, oh no, I feel so badly
for and then everything is fine. She's going to this
private school, which is I mean, like, it's great because
it seems like the whole thing was that the parents had.

Speaker 1 (42:26):
More money to, you know, to expend on.

Speaker 3 (42:29):
On the second daughter, and it seems like now she's
finally able.

Speaker 1 (42:32):
To use all of those resources, which is great. And OPI,
in the situation that you were in, I think you
did the best you could have done you like, hey,
you offered advice. Yes, you tried to be sisterly and
you know, did the best you could. You couldn't do
anything ouse side. Yeah, you can't house her. You could
maybe you have her stay on the couch for a
couple days. But that's it again, great overall, amazing that
that's worked out, like you said, perfectly in the best
way possible.

Speaker 3 (42:52):
But that's the end of that story, so we'll see
you next time.

Speaker 1 (42:55):
Sea. I yelled at my pregnant sister for treating me
like her may She insisted she was just nesting. I
want to know more nesting, all right, mama bird. Hey y'all,
I'm from the UK and have been traveling for a
couple years around the world Japan, US, Southeast Asia, Australia
and New Zealand. Pretty expensive to do, but the most
expensive was attending my twin sister's wedding in Bali when

(43:19):
she got married. It was lovely, but so over our
usual budget. I mean, your traveling the world, it's gonna
be a little pricey. But let's see why it was
so pricey. By the way, this comes from user Womble six'
one nine on the r slash ok storytime suburt. It
so flash forward six months And i'm going out of
my way to return to THE uk to see my

(43:40):
twin sister and stay at theirs for a few. Weeks
during this, time she got pregnant and is now four
to five months. Pregnant and ALL i can say Is.
Wow things were intense from the MOMENT i. LANDED i
was in a storm of, tension arguments and battling over
WHAT i consider the, smallest slash dumbest crap. Ever i'm
talking about yelling between c and husband over shelves going

(44:02):
up while is not being painted in, time the type
of crib they should, buy who isn't contributing, enough et,
cetera et.

Speaker 2 (44:08):
Cetera so like awkward to be in a. House it's
not like a couple that's finding your pregnant.

Speaker 1 (44:12):
Sister, YEAH i feel like you want, to like you,
know when you're like you want to pat someone on
the back and they're, like, ah don't touch bit. You,
yeah that's THAT'S i, think like that's the sister right,
Now AND i feel like it's a triple the. Monster
they both go tit for tat. Endlessly BUT i would
say my sister is a bit. Worse she calls it, nesting,
oh because.

Speaker 2 (44:30):
She's like it has to be, perfect like everything for
the baby needs to be, perfect and so she's like
so on top of it and so like nitpicky about.

Speaker 1 (44:38):
It that's a good, guess let's see which to my,
understanding does it even happen for all women and only
curs at later stages of pregnancy where you are preparing
your home for an upcoming. Child it all just seemed
a justification for her to be even more tyrannical about
stuff around the, house as she has always been such a,
perfectionist neat.

Speaker 2 (44:55):
Type, sure maybe she's, nesting and she probably has like
some of the pregnancy hormones and stuff that are making,
It but it does feel like when people are, like,
Oh i'm just so.

Speaker 1 (45:03):
Ocd, anyway that's an issue between. THEM i thought best
not to get. Involved you're gonna.

Speaker 3 (45:08):
Get, Involved, yeah they're gonna involve.

Speaker 1 (45:10):
You what really, kicked, though is is as soon AS i,
LANDED i was bombarded with. Demands, no it's no longer
your fun trip. ANYMORE i had just got off a
forty seven hour flight, journey jet lagged all as, hell
and within a few, HOURS i was questioned over why
my suitcase was still out and not packed. Away, okay,
whatever she just got. There Then i'm demanded into the

(45:31):
kitchen to help cook and. Clean oh my, god not
in a pleasant or fun, way like we are letting
you stay, here you better pull your weight kind of.

Speaker 2 (45:39):
Way oh my, god isn't Op LIKE i don't. KNOW
i feel Like ope's there for, them but.

Speaker 1 (45:44):
COULD i just have a breather.

Speaker 3 (45:45):
Day?

Speaker 1 (45:46):
YEAH i just got like.

Speaker 3 (45:47):
She's doing something nice for them and they're just kind
of abusing.

Speaker 1 (45:50):
Her Now i'm super. Exhausted but then told at ten
pm at, NIGHT i need to help take every single
item out the loft to help clear space for the
future baby.

Speaker 2 (45:59):
Stuff what is this baby coming? Tomorrow because OTHERWISE i
was like four or five months. Pregnant, yeah what is going?

Speaker 1 (46:05):
On we are at this for, hours lugging, boxes, bags, cases,
Guitars christmas, decorations you name, it covered in dust and so.
TIRED i get down from the loft and my sister
practically shrieked at me those need to be taken down
to the.

Speaker 3 (46:20):
KITCHEN i would.

Speaker 1 (46:21):
LEAVE i would just drop. Everything i'm, Like i'm going
their house is three floors And i'm still panting from the.
Loft this is WHERE i lose my first bit of.
Patience not in a big. WAY i just, say, OKAY
i Will jesus just give me a sec to recalibrate.
Here my sister responds along the lines, of so you're
not going to, hell come, on just do it and be.

Speaker 3 (46:42):
Supportive oh my, god this is so.

Speaker 1 (46:46):
INFURIATING i would drop. Everything i'm, Like i'm here to,
help and you are treating the help like it you're treating.
ME i get irate AND i, SAY i am being,
supportive but you need to start chilling out and asking.
Nicely this is way too.

Speaker 3 (47:00):
Much put your brother's in. Place come, on she's not.

Speaker 1 (47:03):
Respecting she's not the king of. Kings she hated that
and held it against. Me days went on And i've
been roped into every task, imaginable from moving, woodpiles, sheds
multiple deep cleans of the, house and even disassembling a
wardrobe with a. Friend my mate came over and spent
a good couple hours at this. THING i made him
a coffee for his, work just to get nagged at

(47:25):
THAT i had left coffee mugs in the sink one
of the coffee mugs in the sink could to do
to affect the. Baby she even said the house needed
to be spotless for the delivery guy who was going
to be collecting the, wardrobe who never even entered the house.
Anyways within four to five days of being, BACK i felt, stressed, disappointed,
used and FRANKLY i was. HURT i even had snide

(47:46):
comments made about me not paying rent during the short.

Speaker 3 (47:50):
Visit paying rent this is, ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (47:53):
Even AFTER i had paid big bucks for their, wedding
a credit card debt me and my girlfriend will be
paying off for a good, year plus the flights to see.
Them this got the response OF o f off with
That you've been traveling, everywhere but it's our wedding that
broke the. BANK i simply, Said i'm not guilt tripping.
You i'm just SAYING i didn't know you needed rent

(48:15):
paying And i'm just a bit depleted financially from the,
wedding is All her. Response, well then you just shouldn't
have come ouch ak spent being at her wedding six months.
Prior but Now i'm made to feel guilty BECAUSE i
didn't THINK i need to pay rent for staying a
few weeks more of this and being berated over WHAT
i consider incredibly excessive clean freak. Episodes eventually it got

(48:37):
too much AND i ended up yelling at. HER i
said how they were living and acting was effing, ridiculous
that all of this exsessive materialistic attachment is, unhealthy and
that any child coming into this won't give a damn
about the color of a wall or shape of a.
Crib they will care about being around arguing parents or
behaving insanely and constantly at each other's. Throats, yeah they need.

Speaker 3 (48:58):
To those parents need to figure it out before they
put their kid through.

Speaker 1 (49:00):
That she started, Screeching, ah of course you did. THAT
i was being, unsupportive, lazy and. Unappreciative THEN i really yelled.
Back i'm not saying this or any personal. Motive i'm
telling you this BECAUSE i love you. Guys but the
only mother efforts whoever problem going on here is. You
my sister proceeded to jump, up scream stop yelling at,

(49:22):
me and threw an entire bowl of post out me
that bounced off my arm and shattered.

Speaker 2 (49:27):
Everywhere oh my, god you need to get out of,
there because she's been.

Speaker 1 (49:31):
Aggressive she went upstairs in, hysterics husband in, tow AND
i spent the next hour cleaning pasta off the floor and. Wall,
WELL i just think that's like.

Speaker 3 (49:41):
A really bad.

Speaker 2 (49:42):
Environment you're trying to, Help you're trying to be there
for your. Sister she and her husband are, arguing they're
not appreciating. You they're demanding all this stuff from you
and being really rude when they ask for. It and
now she's when you try to express, boundaries she's screaming
at you and throwing pasta at.

Speaker 3 (49:58):
You i'm like a.

Speaker 2 (49:59):
Bowl, HONESTLY i don't think at this, point even though
you love, her you can love her. Afar, YEAH i think.

Speaker 3 (50:04):
It's honestly hurting both of you.

Speaker 1 (50:05):
MORE i know this is long and so utterly ridiculous.
Sounding there's so much MORE i can't even mention, here
But i've been away from their house now and can
tell she is genuinely expecting an apology from. ME i
wanted to come back and be a supportive, brother but
being in that environment with the worst jet Like i've ever,
had really just scrambled my. BRAIN i, Mean i've gone.

Speaker 3 (50:24):
To i've been To australia and Likely i've done.

Speaker 1 (50:26):
That, yeah you do those, trips those, long long, trips
and you come back you're just, LIKE.

Speaker 3 (50:30):
I can't do.

Speaker 1 (50:30):
It what time zone is?

Speaker 2 (50:31):
It and then you have to stay up until like, Ten,
yeah so that you're not super, jetlag.

Speaker 1 (50:36):
But you will come back getting, berated Like i'm this
is the Sixth gate Of. Hell it's such a toxic.
Environment and no matter how MUCH i try to tell,
them they keep denying that the source of their arguing
is over petty household. Stuff they don't believe it's an
over attachment and that this is what life is and
running a household is.

Speaker 3 (50:53):
About, yeah they need to fix that, Mindset, yeah one hundred.

Speaker 1 (50:55):
Percent they even proceed to list other clean freaks they
know just to justify why they aren't. Excessive let's compare, Ourselves.

Speaker 2 (51:02):
LIKE i have friends who, literally like like get into,
fistfights so we're.

Speaker 1 (51:06):
Fine one, MORNING i got yelled at for the living
room being a total dump after it was my job
to clean. IT i looked around a, neat tidy room
with no mess and, asked like. What she pointed to
a piece of dog toy fluff on the carpet and
the cushions not being, plumped not.

Speaker 3 (51:21):
The fluffing of the.

Speaker 2 (51:22):
Cushions oh my, god this is the level of crap that's.

Speaker 1 (51:26):
Happening AM i missing something? Here? Well, actually you, know
you do know what you're. Missing you might be missing it.
Is we're live every weekday three PM psd on. YouTube
just tap that, profile just just tap. It this seems
like a span of like, months but this was like
a span of maybe four.

Speaker 2 (51:39):
Days, yeah it doesn't seem LIKE i, mean it was
supposed to be a couple of, weeks but it seems
like all of this happened pretty early. On and ALSO
i think, that like in terms of the asking for rent,
THING i think there are circumstances where if you're staying
for a, while you can broach, that or if it
was brought to help out with like some you're, hoping.

(52:00):
Etc but don't like just spring it on.

Speaker 1 (52:03):
Them Especially, yeah if it wasn't brought up, before it
seemed like come, in, YEAH i come help. Out, yeah
let's hang.

Speaker 2 (52:09):
Out like he's kind of already paying for it by
helping you. Guys it's not like he's just stay in free.

Speaker 1 (52:16):
LOADING i did feel bad for. YELLING i know pregnancy
has your hormones going through a. Loop the experience has
left me rattled and frankly like my relationship with them is.
DAMAGED i came back to THE uk to be with,
them and NOW i just want to leave because it
seems you didn't give a flying f about treating me
like a. Person they treating me like an in house
made handyman or punching bag for whatever the hell is going?

(52:37):
On AM i the a hole for staying in someone's
home and challenging their? Rules AM i the a hole
for yelling at a pregnant? Woman AM i the a
hole for telling them that cleanliness is in a? Virtue
when it gets to this, level it's just dysfunction bordering
on an. Addiction thanks for making it this, far man.

Speaker 2 (52:53):
Oh, Man, yeah, NO i think that you just can't
be in that. ENVIRONMENT i don't think that you're THE a.
HOLE i, MEAN i never support you to like have
discussions or, anything because it NEVER i think it never works.
Out BUT i do also understand that you've been like
pushed and pushed and pushed and, pushed and they were
screaming at you and throwing things at, you and at
that point you get.

Speaker 3 (53:10):
Frustrated here's Johnio og.

Speaker 1 (53:12):
Host. Here we're gonna get back to the, stories but
here's a quick three minute break of ass from our.

Speaker 3 (53:15):
Sponsors i'm cutting off my brother.

Speaker 2 (53:18):
Forever he stole my girlfriends oh oh. NO i twenty
Six mail recently went to a family gathering for my
dad's forty ninth. Birthday but BEFORE i get into, that
you need to know the backstory with me and my
brother twenty Three. Mail this event happened around three years.
Ago back, THEN i was dating this girl THAT i
will Call kara twenty five.

Speaker 3 (53:38):
Female by the, way.

Speaker 2 (53:39):
This comes From Narrow ring five, nine four to three
on the air Slash Ookey Storytime. Separate kara AND i
were high school. Sweethearts she was my everything at the,
time AND i THOUGHT i was. Hers it was Around
thanksgiving time WHEN i found. OUT i was shopping for
desserts For. Thanksgiving after staying at a friend's house SINCE
i was helping them, MOVE i came home and couldn't
Find kara or her. STUFF i tried calling, her but

(54:00):
it went straight to. VOICEMAIL i tried her, location but
it looked like she turned it. OFF i checked my
front door cam AND i saw my brother helping her
move her things into his car and leaving with.

Speaker 1 (54:10):
Her, mmm that's.

Speaker 2 (54:11):
ODD i then tried to call my, brother but he
wouldn't answer. Either at this, POINT i started to freak
out and assume the, Worst but THEN i thought my
brother would never do that to. Me he was honestly
like my best friend when we were, kids and even
though we drifted apart kind of WHEN i went to,
COLLEGE i still considered us best friends since we would
still talk and go out from time to. TIME i

(54:31):
then called my dad and had my dad tell my
mom to call my brother and to put it on speaker.
Mode my brother, answered and when my mom asked him
Where kara, was he, said she's living with me. Now
she broke up With. Opee did they just never tell
ope that they were breaking?

Speaker 3 (54:46):
Up did she just like she just moved?

Speaker 1 (54:49):
Out she just moved out and moved in with the
brother with zero.

Speaker 2 (54:52):
Contact and if he's, like, hey where are you, at she's, like,
yeah we broke, up and he's, like, huh what you?

Speaker 1 (54:56):
Did?

Speaker 3 (54:56):
What when did that? HAPPEN i felt numb those.

Speaker 2 (55:00):
WORDS i thought this was some type of sick, joke
SO i checked His facebook And instagram and saw them
holding each other and, kissing AND i broke. Down why
Was kara doing this to? Me was going through my
head all. Night but THEN i was. Angry how could
my own, brother.

Speaker 3 (55:15):
My best, friend do this to.

Speaker 2 (55:17):
ME i drove up to his house and banged on his,
door yelling at him to open, Up But cara was
the one that opened the. DOOR i WISH i could
say THAT i held it, together BUT i turned into
a crying mess ONCE i saw. Her then my brother
came from his kitchen and Told caara to go. Upstairs
that's when he told me that they were having an
affair ever since my second year of college and apologized

(55:38):
to me for. It What but Then cara just came
back from the stairs and said that the whole reason
why she left me the way she did was because
she was sick of pretending to love. ME i looked
at her and realized that wasn't the PERSON i fell
in love. With that was someone. ELSE i then wondered
if this was still worth. IT i realized that it
wasn't and walked. OUT i, mean, yeah it's not worth
it if they literally have been cheating on you.

Speaker 1 (56:00):
For that for wrong so.

Speaker 2 (56:01):
Long and then also didn't tell you that they were
breaking up with. YOU i tried to not be a
problematic person and make a scene WHERE i know WHAT
i do won't change the outcome of the. Situation don't
get me, WRONG i was beyond mad at her and my,
brother AND i cut them out of my.

Speaker 3 (56:15):
Life on the.

Speaker 1 (56:16):
Spot there you, Go shall you do? It?

Speaker 2 (56:18):
Now back to the family. GATHERING i live In california
now And i'm still. Single the family gathering was all
right until my brother and his wife walked in with a.
Stroller apparently they got married and got busyware it. IS
i really don't care. Anymore i've been through enough therapy
to know That i'm not the. Problem she is big.
Time she's so the problem.

Speaker 1 (56:37):
They replaced you with a, BABY i guess.

Speaker 2 (56:39):
So my brother was trying to strike up a conversation
with me, why BUT i ignored him went back to
the CONVERSATION i was having with one of my. Aunts
after a couple of, HOURS i forgot they were even.
There but WHEN i was heading to the basement to
get some ice, cream my brother followed me and nearly
gave me a heart. Attack he then awkwardly tried to
apologize for what he did to me those three years,
ago AND i walked past him to me again that,

(57:00):
Night but the next DAY i had gotten multiple texts
from my mom telling me to just forgive my brother.

Speaker 1 (57:05):
Already, no doesn't work like.

Speaker 2 (57:07):
That my mom and dad are heavy on the religious
side and had already forgiven my, brother BUT i. Can't
he's the entire reason WHY i trust issues. Now he
knew how much she meant to me and still did
what he did and expected me to just be okay with.
It BUT i don't Think i'll ever forgive. Him AM
i The? Ale and there is an update to finish
this story.

Speaker 3 (57:25):
Off you're not The.

Speaker 2 (57:27):
Ale your brother committed like such a huge betrayal and
didn't even really. Apologize she just kind of expected you
to kind of move past.

Speaker 1 (57:34):
It he was, like she chose me, man, yes sorry sor.
Bummer and three years later we got. Baby the fact
that he was just like this is all. Good, Yeah
but also did the parents?

Speaker 3 (57:45):
Know that's WHAT i want to, Know, like why did
no one share These instagram? Stories? Why? What what is
everyone else's vibe about? This what's going? On?

Speaker 1 (57:53):
YEAH i feel like it wasn't, like let's like they
weren't even trying to hide.

Speaker 3 (57:56):
It, no really like, no they were just, like oh,
yeah you just Didn't you were the last kist to.

Speaker 1 (58:00):
Bro but we shared about. It the brother literally is, like,
yeah a car is with.

Speaker 3 (58:04):
Me, now, yeah like that you missed that?

Speaker 1 (58:07):
Memo did you not? Know did she not tell? You
did you not get? Alert did you not tell? Him? Oh,
yeah we're. Together oh you guys were. Together she doesn't love.
You but there is an.

Speaker 3 (58:16):
Update cut them off though. Forever you don't have to
talk to.

Speaker 1 (58:18):
Them. Yeah the fact that you were going to therapy
and you know that.

Speaker 3 (58:21):
You're Not, yeah you were bettering.

Speaker 1 (58:23):
Yourself you already know you're not the a. Hole but
the fact that your mom was like forgive and.

Speaker 2 (58:26):
Forget, yeah, no, no, no they're taking his. Side he hasn't.
Apologized he never.

Speaker 1 (58:31):
Apologized now he's trying, to but it's like it's a
little too late to. Apologize.

Speaker 2 (58:35):
Man first, off BEFORE i start with the, UPDATE i
just want to thank the people who responded to my.
Post though some of you were very intent with me
getting back at my brother with violence and to cut them.
OFF i know your hearts were in the right, place
BUT i do want to clear some stuff. UP i
wasn't trying to paint my parents as the bad guy
in my last. Post they actually forgave him a couple
of years before they even announced Carl it was. PREGNANT

(58:55):
i also believe that nothing would have come from me
beating my brother into a pulp besides probably going to
jail and causing riffs in the. Family now with that
out of the, way let's get into the. UPDATE i
sat my mom and dad down with my brother in
my parents' living room and finally told all of them
HOW i. FELT i told him that what my brother
did was. Unforgivable not the type of unforgivable that Means

(59:16):
i'll hate him for the rest of my, life but
the type of unforgivable that means THAT i literally want
nothing to do with, him BECAUSE i don't want a
relationship with someone who could sleep with a friend's girlfriend
behind his, back much less his. Brother that's not the
type of PERSON i want to be. Around my brother
tried to make a rebuttal by saying that he'd changed
and would never do it.

Speaker 3 (59:33):
Again, no, REALLY i hope he wouldn't do it again.

Speaker 1 (59:37):
Because you did it once and look what you have, well,
yeah you have a, wife you'll have a. Baby you doubled.
Down you didn't, like OH i rethought. This, yeah if
if he rethought, him, like, oh that was that. Relationship but,
no he kept. Going he went and had a family
with the. Girl really messed.

Speaker 2 (59:55):
Up he said it like he didn't marry and have
the child of the. GIRL i told HIM i wanted to.
MARRY i then asked my parents how they were able
to forgive, him and they said that they were really
disappointed in him for a, while but when he got
saved and started, preaching they forgave him since he's earned
a new. LEAVE i then asked would they still forgive
him if they were in the same position as, me
and they said that they would have forgiven him, eventually

(01:00:17):
WHICH i don't believe at. All, anyway we just went
back and forth for a while until my brother said
THAT i shouldn't be holding grudges.

Speaker 3 (01:00:23):
If it was flipped like, yeah, crazy that is not
something that you.

Speaker 1 (01:00:27):
GET i don't. LIKE i don't like when the parents are,
like we forgave him you you weren't in the.

Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
Position, yeah that wasn't, like you're not you don't know
HOW i Was MOM i then told him that he
shouldn't be sleeping with other people's. Girlfriends he then looked
at the ground and started to. Cry my mom said
that WHAT i said was too harsh since he had
already repented for his. SINS i then gave them the
ultimatum most of you told me to. Do that they
could either accept the FACT i want nothing to do

(01:00:53):
with him and move, on OR i would cut them,
off along with him and his. Family my dad then
said THAT i would regret IF i don't forgive my.
BROTHER i then asked if that was their final, answer
and my mom said. Fine she said they will come
to terms with me not wanting to be in my brother's.
LIFE i then asked my dad if that was how
he felt, too and he said, yeah and you guys
can be in our life forever by joining us live

(01:01:15):
every week to have THREE pmpst.

Speaker 3 (01:01:16):
Just tap her, profile tap. IT i think that's totally.

Speaker 2 (01:01:19):
Fair and if your parents can't respect that you don't
want a relationship with your, brother.

Speaker 1 (01:01:22):
Then it was a go. Ultimatum it's like you get
to cut them. Off, yeah you get both. Sons you
get one son because you're not respecting WHAT i have.

Speaker 3 (01:01:31):
On the emotions and What i've gone, Through.

Speaker 1 (01:01:33):
Like i've really Like i'm, healed but i Am i'm
no longer dealing with that. Exactly you are not the
a hole for cutting off your.

Speaker 3 (01:01:41):
Brother you're setting.

Speaker 2 (01:01:41):
Boundaries, yeah and it seems like your therapy is working
because now you're able to set those boundaries and if.

Speaker 3 (01:01:47):
People disrespect, that they don't get to be in your.

Speaker 2 (01:01:50):
Life but there is a little bit more to the.
STORY i then thank them for their, time looked at
my brother and told him that no matter what he,
does there is nothing that he could do to get
me to spend Time i'm with, them AND i told
him to have a good.

Speaker 1 (01:02:02):
Life oh damn wow.

Speaker 2 (01:02:03):
REAL i then walked out and drove to get some
in and out and went to. Bed the whole conversation
was really mentally and physically, draining SO i basically passed
out a couple seconds after hitting my. Bed the next,
day TODAY i decided to download some dating app to
try dating in.

Speaker 3 (01:02:19):
To really move on from this whole. Situation and that
is the end of that. Story, wow hope he really
went through.

Speaker 1 (01:02:26):
That he, did and you know, what he's coming out
of it better you, Did he cut out something that
was extremely traumatic and. Toxic, yeah it's your brother and
he did something so severely just messed up that he
doesn't need forgiveness.

Speaker 3 (01:02:41):
Exactly when you have a rotten, sibling just.

Speaker 1 (01:02:45):
Amputate and the fact that, you're like he, said have
a good, life like he wasn't like on bad.

Speaker 2 (01:02:49):
Terms or anything LIKE i hate, YOU i hope. YOU
i just don't want, ever just LIKE i just don't want.

Speaker 1 (01:02:54):
You don't want to do anything with. You the fact
that you wish, somebody, hey you do your, thing congrass
in the. Family that's. IT i don't want to be
involved with. It that's like the best thing you could. Do.
Exactly you have no reason.

Speaker 2 (01:03:04):
To don't hold that like anger in your, heart but
you don't have to keep it close to, you like
you don't have to keep him.

Speaker 1 (01:03:09):
And your family should respect your, wishes and they.

Speaker 2 (01:03:12):
Did but that is the end of that. Story so
we'll see you Next ti

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My fiancé crossed a line with my family…so I told him it was over between us! - r/AITAH | Reddit Stories | EP2066

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My fiancé crossed a line with my family…so I told him it was over between us! - r/AITAH | Reddit Stories | EP2066