April 20, 2025 • 48 mins
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00:00 r/charlottedobreyoutube - A Ghost Told My Mom To Invite Strangers To My Wedding
37:31 r/entitledparents - How my wife "ruined" her mom's mother day by treating her like a mom
Note: stories are sometimes abbreviated
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, this is Sam. This is John the og story
time podcast host. Oh yeah, we got some great stories
coming up.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
But before that, we get a teeny two minute break
from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like
a little house.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
My mother insists I invite strangers to my wedding because
a ghost told her to.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Ghost told me this morning.
Speaker 4 (00:20):
Ghost. My ghost told me this morning.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Maybe you should listen to it might be more fun.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
That's true.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Also trigger warning for mental health discussions and death. So
I twenty eight female and my fiance Bjorn.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
That's the name.
Speaker 4 (00:37):
Isn't that the singer?
Speaker 1 (00:38):
That's a very that's a name.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
Yeah, I said, like your singer. Yeah, I agree, you.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Don't know Swedish people. I don't sawry Swedish people.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Twenty seven male are getting married May thirty first, twenty
twenty five.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
We are very excited.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
We're currently hurrying to plan and arrange everything. In the
four short months four short months we have left at
Mastersburg in law schools have been kicking our butts and
making planning everything impossible. Things have been largely, but not entirely,
drama free until now. So I thought I would get
away just being able to laugh at other people's stories.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
Ooh, how naive I was?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Oh, it happened to you.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
By the way, this comes from Okay job three nine
seven eight, And if you want to submit your own stories,
go to our slash Okay storytime. Separate it so all
names are fake and apologies in advance for any spelling errors.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
I'm very dyslexic. Yay some context.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
My mother, let's call her mother, has been a bit weird,
my entire life, being hyper health conscious, really into snake
oil medicines, superstitiously religious, and overall difficult to predict and
get along with for the entirety of my memory.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
Sounds like a voodoo doctor.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
It became clear that all of this was due to
an undiagnosed mental health condition. In twenty twenty one, after
a very traumatic few months of chaos, she was involuntarily
committed and she was diagnosed with bipolar one with psychotic elements.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
But the more snakeli you drink less you have to.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Worry about You're just closer to passing away.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
I guess now your life is shorter, so you have
to worry about it for a shorter amount of period.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
There we go.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
It became clear at that point that she has been
having delusions for many, many years, and that this was
the source of her weird behaviors.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
Whatever else I say.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
I know that while she is indeed a bit of
a Karen on her own, a lot of that is
exacerbated by her condition. So be gentle in the comments.
I still love my mama, even if she does occasionally
drive me crazy. That fact, however, doesn't mean that she
isn't still often a Karen and the center of drama
and funny stories, one of which is actively in development
(02:48):
right now.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
You know, actively in development. You're at Goms.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
So the title says, a ghost told my mom that
I absolutely needed to invite two young women that are
practically strangers to me to my wedding.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Who are these strangers? Well, let me tell you backstory.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
Yay, many years ago, when I was just a child,
I was off and babysat by a family friend of ours,
let's call her Tina.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
Tina had six children, and I became friends with two
of her girls, Martha and Dot. Miss Tino was married
to a police officer, Pat, who we found out many
years later was.
Speaker 4 (03:31):
Violent and abusive towards her.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Oh. She divorced him and left with her children when
I was a teenager. Yay, at this point I had
already stopped spending time with Martha and Dot. Really we
were friends of circumstance because their mom used to babysitting.
When I got old enough not to need babysitting, around eleven,
we also stopped spending time together eleven.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
What about eleven?
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Oh that's a good point, but that's whenever you don't.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
Need well, roughly, yeah, I started. I started babysitting at twelve.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
That's when you become like whoa you switch from like
camper to camp counselor twelve.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Well, I think my brothers can take care of themselves. Yeah, okay,
all right, all right, I just think that's young. I
don't know why.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
Well, no, I feel like it. It depends on you
to be a teenager.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Then I think some some parents will wait until their
kids are like, you know, fourteen or something.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
I'm just imagining talking to twelve year old Sofia, I know,
and I don't even know what that looks.
Speaker 6 (04:27):
Percy Jackson, Percy Jackson, Percy Jackson, Harwotter.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
Okay, I had a hobby.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Am I wrong? Am I wrong?
Speaker 4 (04:36):
Though?
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Am I wrong?
Speaker 3 (04:37):
What's a television I hadn't really kept up with their
family until tragedy struck during my freshman year of college.
Miss Tina, oh, my gosh, had been unalive by her
ex husband in broad daylight with their seven year old
in the car.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
That's pretty funny.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
It was horrible and for months I grieve this kind
lady that had taken such good care of me.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
That's awful.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
The next time I saw Martha and Dott was at
their mother's funeral. We hugged, we wept, and we went
our separate ways. That was nine years ago. We haven't
seen or spoken to each other before or since. Oh
and back to the current day today, what a.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Royal like this happened?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Anyway, she was murdered in her car. This is pretty
ghost though.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
I like, if you told me that, dude, like trauma
ghost story, that's really awful.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
You tell me this around a campfire, I'm terrified. I mean, yeah,
broad daylight. Also, don't say broad daylight, do like it
was rainy mercury midnight.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
This is a true story.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
I was hoping for a ghost story. I need more ghosts.
Speaker 6 (05:53):
Okayways, well still serve aren't I'm going ghost I'm so
sorry for your your loss, Sophie, but you did really
just kind of switch back into you were like, ah, you.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Even included THEO wu scz Opie did add a trigger warning.
We just added our own trigger warning, and so I
didn't reread their trigger warning.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
I'll put it in.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
The trigger warning was that we were the First thing
in the morning, I received a cryptic text from my
mother that there was a very important matter she needed
to discuss with me. Not being of the constitution or
mood to entertain such vague grease, I pressed her to
at least give me a topic of discussion, though she
did not want to give me specifics over the phone.
She eventually let me know that.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
She sometimes receives messages from the deceased and that she
had received a task that she needed my help with.
It was very ominous.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
You can imagine the depth of pucker my a hole
what took on when I realized that my mom had
been hearing voices again, and that it had evidently been
going on for some time now. My mom doesn't realize
that the calls are coming from inside the house, so
to speak, or at least she chooses not to believe
that they are in fact, she firmly believes that she
(07:05):
is the Catholic Catholic guest Catholic lady to ever Catholic,
and that she is, of course holier enough than now
to have been gifted with the ability to see visions
and dream dreams and hear the voice of God and
the angels. While she hangs out in the living room, Dude,
I feel like the more religious that you are, the
more receptive you would be to you know, this is true,
(07:26):
to believing in this, you know, ghosts and and all
that stuff, because it's already close.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Yeah, I've been around people that can hear the Holy
Spirit and they're like pretty pretty tight.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
With them, pretty tight, pretty tight. So like, how do
you you know?
Speaker 3 (07:39):
It's like if you're if you believe in that already,
it would probably be a harder jump to make.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
And then my thought process is it's actually a mental
health Why.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
If you're if you're around that and you believe in
the spiritual warfare, why are you opening yourself up to
that stuff? What are we doing well?
Speaker 4 (07:55):
I mean, she's clearly mentally ill.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
So it's like, really like don't like you don't need
to do that, girl, You're good.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
She needs a therapistess, she needs psychiatric help.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Man.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
To be clear, I am also Catholic, and I love
my faith, and I do believe that there is a
supernatural side to the world. I also just don't believe
that my mother has any access to it, considering the
most of the holiest saints were never gifted with visions,
and she is anything other than holy or saintly think
very charming but very judgmental old church lady. Well, apparently
miss Tina has been telling her that Martha and Dodd
(08:29):
have lost their way and that my mother must intervene.
How does she know this Why?
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Facebook?
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Of course, what's actually happening is that she has seen
them posting on Facebook and doesn't approve of their lifestyle.
So now her delusions are giving her an excuse to
insert herself.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Ooh, so what does she make about their lifestyle and
an opinion? And if you have an opinion, what do
you do with it? Keep to yourself, exactly, keep it
to yourself.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Yeah, except she doesn't want to insert herself. She wants
to insert me. Specifically, she wants me to rekindle our
friendship that ended when I was about eleven years old.
More specifically, she wants me to invite them to my
wedding in four months. How I mean again, this woman
clearly has like many mental health issues. But how just
(09:18):
awful would it be if Opie does invite these girls
to her wedding and then her mom goes and kind
of like it, goes over to them and is like, Oh,
your mother who passed away very violently told me that
she doesn't approve of your lifestyle.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
Like that would be so awful. Change like, definitely, do
not invite these girls to your wedding because your mom's
going to you know, or traumatize them.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Hell Mary, Mama be saving their lives or.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
We actually thought about that. There is a ghost now.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Of course I told her no, I don't know these
women at all at this point. I haven't opened to
them in almost twenty years. I have no reason to
invite them to my wedding, and.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
They have no reason to come.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
More than that, we already have too many people between
Bjorn's normal sized American family, my gigantic Cuban family, and
the few friends we were able to squeeze in were
at one hundred and forty people we only wanted like
seventy five. But my parents offered to help us pay
so that they could invite more of the family, because family,
I guess family.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Fam n that's furious family.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
Whatever they're paying for it, so it honestly is fine. However,
as generous as their being, and they are being very generous,
the economy and weddings being what they are, the venues
we can afford are rather small, and one forty really
is the cap of people we can invite. So if
I invite Martha and Dott they will have nowhere to sit,
as well as we will be capacity. I told her
(10:50):
both things. When she demanded to know why, My immediate
response was a firm no. First, she had insisted that
we had been good friends and hung out on a
regular basis. She would be correct about that, except for
a critical detail that the regular basis was specifically when
our parents were either at church or doing something church
related together. Also, again, our friendship had not survived my
(11:10):
need to be actively supervised. Oh, so I wouldn't harm myself.
She then asked if she could replace two family members,
her aunt and uncle that she had insisted I invite
with these two young women.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
So she just keeps adding more people. She's like.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
I also first, I need to invite these two girls
because their mom is a message for them, and also
your aunt and uncle, just because I've got some other
messages I've got to pass on. It's kind of like
a back order voicemail type situation.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Did everyone there in one place? So I can just
go ahead and let them know.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
I think. Also, my mosseuse is gonna come.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
My dog walker, Yeah, go ahead and add him in there.
I got a message for him.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Now, I have already sent out the save the dates,
and though I haven't sent out the invitations yet, I
know I'm running out of time. I'm working on it.
I can't just not send in invitation at this point, though,
as they may have gotten flights and hotels already, they
live in another state.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
We're also I'm so sorry. Yes, the way she's handing
out like these, like I have messages for you, it
feels like The Godfather. I haven't seen someone in The
Godfather first scene. It's coming here I've seen, so it
feels like the same thing. Yeah. So it's like the
daughter's wedding and what.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
People can do so utopia. I mean, I see, I
know you're talking about, but that's really that's pretty much.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
That's pretty much it. Yeah, it's the scene the wedding's
happening and people come to the guy, the father and
is like asking favors coming here the day of my
daughter's wedding, day of my daughter's wedding, and they ask
for like, you know whatever, and no granted in a worship.
This feels like that.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
It feels like she's gonna get like she's got a
little notebook a full of messages from like the beyond,
and she's like, line up, and I hope he's actively
getting married. And she's like, I'm just gonna be over
the corner.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
Don't buy me. You won't even hear me.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Yeah, that's how it goes.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Thanks. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Also, I'm want to do that my daughter's wedding. But
three you're just handing up what do you want? What
do you want me to three D print?
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Here, I'm going to learn some sort of craft and
I'm just going to like set up a little craft
in the corner.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
You already have like balloon animals.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
I do before we go through with the story, do
you guys believe in ghost I don't.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
I know you do.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Yes, in a way, I believe in the spiritual warfare
that people go through.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
Okay, yeah, I am an all right non believer.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
Yeah, I'm skeptic. The only thing that I am superstitious
about is knocking on wood because my mom.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Always does it.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
She's really instilled in me.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Are you knock on wood?
Speaker 4 (13:34):
But anyway, we've got more story to read.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
So that's what I told my mom, and that I
would need them to RSVP. No before I could say
that their seats were empty, she responded that they had
told her that they weren't coming, and that the invitation
was just a courtesy, and therefore.
Speaker 4 (13:48):
I could use those two spots for other people.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Wait, oh what, so this is the mom already invited
these two girls.
Speaker 4 (13:57):
Weird, that's what it seems like.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Weird.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
Now, well, my mother is a bit confused.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
I know full well that it is that this is
not United Airlines flight number five three one two five,
and that over selling seats is very much against policy.
So I responded that I was not going to just
assume they were not coming. I was going to send
the invitation that again she had insisted I send, and
then I was going to wait for the RSVP. My
(14:22):
mom responded that they had told her they were not coming. Now,
I have been in many of these, he said. She
said situations before where communication through a middleman goes wrong
and everyone ends up confused, in people you didn't expect
to end up where you didn't expect them. Given that
and the aforementioned fact that this is not a United
Airlines flight, I have been extremely insistent that I hear
(14:42):
directly from guests if they want to be taken off
any lists, or if they want an RSVP anything for anything,
a fact which I reiterated to her in the moment,
and that if her aunt and uncle RSVP no with me,
then yes, their spots would technically be empty. But I
was not just going to take her word for it. Okay,
So to Claire, I understand, now it seems like it's
(15:03):
not the two girls that had already said they were,
you know, uh, talk to it's Opie's mom talked to
the aunt and uncle and already kind of invited them
and they already said no. But Opie's like, no, I'm
gonna RSVP or I'm gonna make them RSVP so they
don't just show up.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
And I'm like, not, I see, that's what it seems like.
It's happening.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
Well, that was my first mistake, because how dare I
not trust her to give me accurate information and to
disbelieve her when I only know these people through her
and they talked to her and they.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
Told her that they aren't coming.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Apparently, in my desire to do things a certain way
in order to preserve my own sanity and avoid avoidable
issues is controlling, which, yes, yes it is, and I'm
fine with it. You're allowed to be controlling because.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
It's your wedding.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Yep, you get picked that day, that's your.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
Day, Jolly Toaster says.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
The mom insisted that the aunt and uncle get invited
previously and was planning to replace them with the two girls. Oh,
without confirming whether the aunt and uncle were coming.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
God got you, thank you. We have two spots, yes,
RSVP them. Oh they can't make it, will just fight
those girls.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
Yeah, And so she's.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Saying, oh, I can't okay, So basically it's just assuming
that the aunt an uncle can't really make it. But
ohp He's like, no, I don't want four people to
show up, so let's double check. I see, and I'm
fine with that. This is my wedding. And short of
being a bridezilla. I will be as controlling as necessary
to ensure that things go smoothly and there are no miscommunications.
(16:30):
I have no wedding planner, It's just me. Therefore, everything
needs to go through me and no one else going forward,
and I am completely okay with that.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
Being okay with being controlling was, of course my second mistake.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Why because this is not my wedding, but merely a
wedding in the family at which I happened to be
getting married. Yes, I did point out that my mother
had just described my wedding. Then she shouted that I
told her months ago that she could invite an extra
ten to fifteen people, and that now I.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
Was going back on my word.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
Oh, a wild accusation, as I had never said any
such thing. She probably got that in a message though, Yeah,
you probably heard that from the voice of God versus
the voices beyond.
Speaker 4 (17:11):
Yeah, She's like, sorry, so I must have gotten that
mixed up.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Oh that was meant for so much.
Speaker 4 (17:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Even checked with my dad, who was present at the conversations,
and he agreed that I never said any such thing.
Speaker 4 (17:23):
What I had said was that I needed.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
To know who they my parents wanted to invite though
that I could have a head count while looking for venues.
They said it would be no more than ten to
fifteen people. It was way more than that, and I
had told them that they needed to give me named
people that I had had interactions with within the past
ten years.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
We go debragm debragam.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
They gave me the names.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
At that point, I asked them repeatedly if that was everyone.
They both repeatedly responded yes. I told them at the
time that this was their last chance, as I was
going to send out save the dates and I did
not want to edit the guest list any further.
Speaker 4 (17:57):
At that point, they both responded that there was no
one else.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
They even had me take certain people that I had
assumed I needed to invite off the list because we
don't have much of a relationship with them.
Speaker 4 (18:07):
I reminded her of this fact. Well, that was my
third mistake, because how dare I tell her who she
can and cannot invite when she's the one paying for everything? Oh,
there we go.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
It's always using the money whenever they pay they think
they can control your old wedding. No such thing as
a free lunch man. She isn't my dad is, and
he agrees that I shouldn't invite Martha. Also, Bijorn's parents
are helping too.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
That I have, of.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
Course, a terrible daughter who doesn't care about her and
what she wants and needs. And now I'm telling her
who she can and can invite with her invitations that
her aunt and uncle aren't coming, and I have no
right to tell her who she can give those seats to.
When I reminded her that I definitely can tell her
who can and can't come, because this is again my
wedding and you're not paying for it. Yeah, and you're
(18:55):
not paying for it. The dad is an Op's fiance's
parents aren't.
Speaker 4 (18:59):
Yes. She shouted that then she won't come to the
wedding and was going to return her Mother of the
Bride dress. She can't. She bought it two years ago,
two seconds after the engagement.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Along engagement that's also cute, that's very sweet.
Speaker 4 (19:11):
She ordered me to take her off the guest list.
She's like, fine, take me on, I'm done, but can
we put Matha and Dot back on?
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Can we use my spot because Mother of the Bride's
worth like two spots, right.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Dude, If you really need to get this message going
just go meet them.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Yeah, honestly, you can call them and you say hey, hey. Now,
this is a tactic she uses a lot, and one
she has used throughout my entire life. I set a
boundary and keep it, and she throws a fit and
cancels the trip, or leaves me at home while she
takes my siblings out, or she cancels a playdate or
birthday party, or she doesn't show up to something important,
et cetera. She even did it to my big sister
(19:49):
several times when we were planning her wedding. Then she
ended up actually going and then sabotaged the walk down
the aisle, and my dad didn't get to walk my sister.
My sister lurks here and she'll profit see this, I
sais see. It is always hurt when she has done this,
But this time around, I was just tired and frankly
fed up. What happened next is what I think sent
(20:10):
her over the edge. I'm just like, I really quick.
It feels like we've like walked away from the whole
ghost thing, you know, like it feels like that was whoa,
she's talking to ghosts. And o'b was like, well now
she's making me invite on an uncle, like maybe we
should we should go call some a doctor. Yeah, I
(20:32):
feel like it's less. Oh she's being annoying. It's like,
maybe we should call a doctor.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Or my thought was ghost thing, ghost thing, ghost thing.
I'm gonna get these two girls get in here. What
we're gonna do is they're gonna find the richest people
at this wedding. They're gonna follow them to their houses,
still their jewelry, and then I'm gonna be a millionaire
and blame it on the ghost. Blame it on and
then bring the ghost bank.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
It's also an option I suppose.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Actually don't do that because Gussie will get upset. Never mind,
they're they're resting in peace. Well those aren't. But like
I feel like it's that's a distraction. There's another plan
amongst so that we don't know about. The twist trying
to throw you off her sent Sorry, I'll do my okay,
story time for those who don't know.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
I told her that she didn't have to be there
if she didn't want to be, and that she had
the ability to return address if that was what she
wanted to do. I also let her know that if
she did choose not to come to my wedding over
such a silly argument that she would be nuking any
relationship she and I have going forward.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
I was gonna name a nuke name, all right.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
That went over like a lead balloon filled with mercury.
You're a nuke. Thank you when you let it rip.
That's a heavy balloon right there.
Speaker 7 (21:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
She responded that we clearly don't have relationships since I
don't care about her feelings and I don't want to
listen to my mother read as obey her. She then
stomped off into her room and refused to discuss things further.
Speaker 4 (21:47):
Now, let's be honest. To a degree, she is correct,
I don't care about her feelings on this, And he's like, yeah,
you're right, you cannot show up and it will be fine.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Actually I don't want to show up, so.
Speaker 4 (21:59):
Yeah, do you a little reverse psychology be like actually
you're not invited anymore, yo, And then she'd be like.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Hi, demand distress two years ago.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
I care what you meant. And then you're like, okay,
you can come back.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
I don't want to go.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
She can be mad if she wants to. In fact,
she can put on a cape, so she could be
super mad.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
That's funny.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
However, that is going to change that. It isn't going
to change the size of the venue, nor will it
change the fact that Biorn and I are adamant that
we are surrounded only by friends and family that we
care about and who care about us on the day
of our wedding. In fact, as of a few months ago,
when I asked my parents if they were any more
people they wanted to add to the guest list any more,
(22:38):
edits became two yes's what no, meaning that either both
of us agree or neither of us agree. He also
does not want to invite strangers to our wedding oh
any more? Edits became too oh okay, so basically saying
that if they wanted, if Opie's parents wanted to add
more people, both Ope and her fiance would have to agree.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Yes, dude, you let that be the basis of your relationship,
then whenever it comes to other things you both have
to agree on it. It's just I love this. I okay,
I like that part.
Speaker 4 (23:12):
What if you both can agree, yeah, it doesn't happen.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
Well, Like, hey babe, I want to buy this table,
Like I agree, and then you both get it, okay,
and that kind of thing. Yeah, you don't like I
bought the table. It's like I bought I bought a puppy.
Bring it home and the girl and watch what Like
we didn't talk about this like, Okay, I agreed on it.
We both have to talk about it. I love it
the communication.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Yeah, therefore there will be no strangers at our wedding. Now,
knowing that my mom was likely going to tell my
dad that I had uninvited her from my wedding, I
went to him to explain the situation. First, he was bewildered,
but was adamant that the fact that the financial help
he had promised was not going to be rescinded based
on my mother's decisions, something I was very grateful for.
(23:55):
Then I went and complained to Bjorn about what was
going on. It was all so exhausted to hear, but
said that from this point forward I should blame him
for this and any other knows I have to get
the heat off of my back. I get where he's
coming from. Since I still live with my parents and
he still lives with his. Apartments are expensive and mom
and Dad are not, so he doesn't need to deal
with it in the same way. It's unfortunate, though, because
(24:17):
we have been trying to rehabilitate his relationship with my
parents for months. He didn't do anything.
Speaker 4 (24:23):
My mom is just.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
Mad that she doesn't get as much control over my
life since he's been in my life. I can't find
faults in his logic, though. After talking to my maid
and matron of honor, my best friend, and my sister,
I sat down with my both of my parents the
same evening. I didn't gather them. They just both happened
to be in the same room and I wanted my
dad there so that my mom and I wouldn't remember
the conversation differently, something which happens quite often. Yeah, you
(24:47):
need the third party to take notes. You need the
court reporter in the room who's just like and you're like, okay, well, see,
if you refer to page four, he'll see that.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
I never said that.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
I'm always impressed by how fast I mean.
Speaker 4 (25:00):
The short shorthand is such an interesting Oh are they shorthanded?
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Well, it's I'm pretty sure that in I don't know
if it's specifically shorthand, but I know that it's like shorthand.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Yeah, I've seen someone do shorthand before. I could probably
my aunt kill a shorthand. I'm pretty good.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
At time, I explained that Dot Martha and I are
not friends, and we weren't even that good friends as children,
and that as much.
Speaker 4 (25:22):
Responsibility as my mom feels towards Miss Tina, I was not.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
Going to invite them to my wedding. I also pointed
out that if the goal is to rekindle my friendship
with them, inviting them to my wedding was never going
to accomplish that. It's not like I will have enough
time to catch up with them and talk about life.
I will be busy enjoying my wedding and celebrating with
Bjorn and my besties. I reminded her that her last
opportunity for input into the guest list was given and
(25:47):
explained as the last opportunity several months ago. She insists
that I'm gaslighting her and that I changed the rules
all of a sudden. I apologize for any misunderstanding or miscommunication,
but iterated that these have been the rules the entire time,
and that Bajorn also doesn't want to invite strangers to
our wedding. In fact, if her aunt and uncle aren't coming.
(26:09):
We have actual friends that we would have liked to
invite but didn't have the room for. Furthermore, I told
her how hurt I was that she would try to
manipulate me by threatening not to come to my wedding.
And I found that extremely nasty. And me and the
Mom's gonna be like, I see where you're coming from.
This is thank you for bringing this up in such
a respectful manner. I see my wrongdoings, and I'm gonna
change my way. I'm going to change the error of
(26:31):
my ways, or I've seen the error of my ways, right,
I shall be a better person going forward, the better mother.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Dude, if you put twenty if you betted that for
twenty bucks, you'd be a millionaire, because that's definitely.
Speaker 4 (26:41):
Not gonna happen. That's exactly where it's going. Mana man, what.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Would how would how do you even? Like, you know
your mom's off the rocker? You just that contact or
just you're not coming.
Speaker 4 (26:54):
Well.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
I feel like it is really tricky in this situation
because I think that op has, I mean, beyond the
beginning of this story, Ope has kind of glossed over
the fact that her mom is you know, has bipolar
and has I think like with like psychotic one or something,
so like that is.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
A pretty relevant part of you know, why she is
acting this way.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
So I do think that like a certain level of
race has to be or you know, or it seems like, oh,
he is giving her mother a certain level of because
she is so like, yeah, okay, fine, mom, that's how
you're to act.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
And that's how she keeps her sanity. I would lose
my sanity.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
Yeah, which is I mean, it's really hard because.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
She's pretty tied up on this one thing.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
I think I'm sure that op's already or that her
family has already kind of been getting her mother to
help it seems. Yeah, but yeah, that must be really
tricky trying to deal with someone who is kind of
being very unreasonable, but also trying to hold space for
the fact that they, you know, are mentally. Yeah, she
is my mom, and we'll always have a seat at
(27:58):
my wedding, but she has the choice as to whether
or not her butt is in that seat. Well, it
was a mistake, but to tell her that I have
real friends, because since those seats were for her family,
then she should be able to fill them. With whoever
she wants. That is not the case and was never
the case. I have always had final veto power over
invitations from my side of the family, and she knew that.
(28:21):
She then started screaming that if I have a good
relationship with her, why did my dad need to be
there since I wasn't addressing him at all.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
Why didn't I dress her to know what was being said?
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Apparently it was the greatest of insults to say that
I wanted someone else in the room to help de
escalate things if they started to get out of hand.
Then she mentioned that we had been to dot In
Martha's older sister's wedding several years ago, so.
Speaker 4 (28:43):
We had to invite them.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
When I pointed out that if she wanted to fulfill
that courtesy, then we actually need to invite the sister
and her husband, mom and responded that that would be
too many people and that we should invite the younger
sisters instead. Lawless logic, right, Well, I said no, and
she stormed off again, saying that I could do what
I wanted, it's my wedding and that her opinions clearly
(29:07):
don't matter.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Breck, But that was sarcasm. Yeah, this is so frustrating,
very frustrating, just trying.
Speaker 4 (29:14):
To like have a wedding man.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
All of that happened two days ago, and she is
not in any way let it go. She has refused
to talk to me most of the day and has
broken the silence only to send me obnoxious numbers of
screenshots of the instagrams of various people that I had
been friends with as a child, but that she thinks
were and are good friends.
Speaker 4 (29:33):
She's like, you have to invite Timmy from third grade.
You you had a plate it one time.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Remember that one time he caught a frog for you.
Speaker 4 (29:43):
Oh, you got in by Timmy.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
That's a good frog kitchen.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
I am now very worried that she's going to pull
some sort of shenanigans and try to invite them herself
or else make my life and my wedding difficult for me.
She is known to be a meddler and tends to
sabotage things. I refer back to my sister's wedding, and
I don't want to deal with this right now. I'm
trying to throw together a wedding in four months time,
and I don't need the drama more than that. Though
(30:07):
I'm just so tired. I've been dealing with my mother's
various behaviors for years, and it's starting to get really heavy.
What makes it worse is that this is all fueled
by her sickness. She's only being like this because she
thinks that the spirits of the deceased come to her
to ask her to do tasks on earth so that
they can move on and enter heaven, or else people
(30:28):
in heaven are asking her to do things from them
on earth. She thinks that by refusing her, I am
refusing to help Miss Tina find peace, and that is
clearly driving her sane. I can't even be mad at
her because she can't be rational about this, and it
makes me sad because I am clearly causing her much
distressed and insisting on my boundaries. Oh jolly Toaster, says
(30:49):
I repeat, You cannot rationalize with irrational people. Yes, Unfortunately,
I think regardless of whether or not you put a boundary,
she would still find some way to be upset with you. Yeah,
and so I think right, it's the best way is
to make sure that for your you know, for your
(31:09):
own sanity, and for making sure that you have a
relationship continued like with your mother.
Speaker 4 (31:16):
In the future. I think you have to.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
Put up those boundaries because otherwise you're just not gonna
be able to be around her. At the same time, though,
she's being intentionally hurtful and manipulative, manipulative when she says
that I don't care about her or that she isn't
coming to my wedding, it all just makes me so
sad and frustrated, especially because we had made it to
four months out with relatively little drama, and now the
(31:38):
drama comes with interest. I don't need advice, I just
need events. I will update things as we get nearer
and near to the wedding. Thank you for reading.
Speaker 4 (31:48):
By the way, let'st.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
I advise you to listen to full episodes of stories
just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts or
your favorite podcast app like iHeartRadio and search a.
Speaker 4 (32:00):
Booky story time. But there is a little bit left.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
The story is there more, the wedding day is getting closer.
There might be an update.
Speaker 4 (32:08):
There's gotta be a little bit more.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
It's happening in May. That's almost got You're also I'm
going to a wedding in Math.
Speaker 4 (32:14):
In fact, yeah, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
I'm sorry. You could get married to May.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
I'm just gonna find I'm find a person on the street.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Hey, hey, hey, I'll be like, you want.
Speaker 4 (32:25):
To go to a wedding. They're like great, I'm like perfect.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
That is that is a movie idea. That's a script.
Speaker 3 (32:33):
Yeah, it's like, hey, I really need I really need
someone to go to a wedding with me. Oh my god,
it's a script. You the person goes on like a
dating app or something. They're like, hey, need a plus
one for a wedding, and then the person shows up.
Speaker 4 (32:47):
They're getting married.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Yo, I've seen it. There is a movie about that.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
But they're like, oh my god, this is crazy, what
are you doing? But it was a whole kind of long,
like road strip movie, and I bonded on that road
trip and then they get married.
Speaker 4 (33:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Also, yeah, with this.
Speaker 4 (33:06):
Mom right the story, do you think.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
We need to give her a buddy at the wedding?
Speaker 4 (33:10):
Absolutely, if she goes to the I mean it seems
like she just needs that in general. But I think
the dad hopefully would be that person.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
They married married still, yeah, they lived together, So I
think maybe if you got if you talk to your dad,
because he seems pretty reasonable and said like, hey, can
I can I put this on you to make sure
that mom is looked after?
Speaker 4 (33:32):
Or do we need another person to do that?
Speaker 1 (33:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (33:34):
What do you need? Because I don't want to have
to be worrying about her.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
Yeai, I'm sorry?
Speaker 4 (33:40):
Really hard?
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Is there another one?
Speaker 3 (33:42):
Well, there's a little bit more edits. I've seen this
come up several times in the comments, so I'm going
to put this here. In the US, you have to
be very sick before control or information about your care
can be given over to someone else. In the case
of my mother, she is legally not sick enough for
my dad and I to have any information about her care,
including who her doctor is and what her diagnosis is.
(34:03):
I only know because I snooped in her paperwork a
couple of years ago. I mean, yeah, the process to
get like conservatorship or something is pretty pretty difficult.
Speaker 4 (34:12):
Let's ship a bunch of money.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
If you have a nine nsis like that, why would
you behind it?
Speaker 4 (34:18):
Well? Probably you know part of your illness stuff, okay,
and also you probably.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
I mean a lot of people, even if they know
that they have this diagnosis, don't want to lose autonomy
because that's already it's like a scary thing, and Ezekiel says, did.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
You want me get Swart? No, my friend bought it
for me for Christmas.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
But years ago, I do know that she doctor shopped
until she could convince someone that she only had anxiety,
and she was taken off most of her medications. At
this point, unless she starts threatening harm to herself or
someone else, or starts doing genuinely dangerous things, there really
isn't anything I can do. Having delusions that deceased people
are talking to her and getting angry.
Speaker 4 (34:58):
About it doesn't meet the criteria.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
I am thinking though, that I'm going to speak to
her priest about this and see if maybe he can
calm her down of it. Thanks to everyone who expressed concern,
there just isn't a lot that can be done from
a medical angle.
Speaker 4 (35:12):
At this point. Exerciser, but that is the end of
the story.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Oh man.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
Katie Paladin says mom should still be on bipolar meds.
I think Ope agrees with that, but unfortunately, just unfortunately,
it seems like she does not want to be put
on those meds and actively fighting against that.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
To save myself from a headache, I would go no
logan like kind of low contact until after the wedding. Yeah,
I mean just imagine every day the two girls like coming,
two girls like mante, two girls coming. It's something else.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
I think low contact until the wedding makes sense, like
you're not cutting her out at all and definitely not
in the future, but no, just right now with her
constantly kind of making this a problem.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Oh yeah, but.
Speaker 4 (35:54):
Yeah, that's it's really tough, very tough, because it also
seems like, oh, he still has a lot of like
love for loving care because she says like she's a
charming woman.
Speaker 3 (36:01):
It's just she has these moments for you know. Josephine says,
by polar one, not psychotic one. By polar one includes
psychotic tendencies.
Speaker 4 (36:09):
I think that. I think it's said by.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Said it, said both, but that could be also the case.
Speaker 4 (36:15):
That probably is the more correct way to say it.
I think so said it. But that is the end
of the story. Sweet, Do we have another one to read?
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Hey it's Sam, I'm your ogi host here bring it
back to the stories. But here's three minutes bads from
a sponsors.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
My wife spoiled Mother's Day because she won't give in
to my mother in law.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
Don't you know.
Speaker 7 (36:36):
That that's the day you leally have to do everything
she says.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Good.
Speaker 4 (36:40):
Wait unless you're also a mom, then they cancel out.
Speaker 3 (36:43):
My mother in law is an annoying person to say
in the nicest way, she has extremely low self worth
and she compensates that by forcing the world to go
around her. By the way, this comes from phone routine.
If you want to some Aaron stories, go to our
slash ooke storytime.
Speaker 4 (36:56):
Separate it.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
So, as a family who interact with her regularly, we
are forced to treat her like a queen every day,
every minute. If we don't, then there will be drama
all the way from pouting going to her room, fainting
leaving the house, to full blown breakdown, including saying, why.
Speaker 4 (37:13):
Should I live on this planet anymore? No one cares
about me? Hmmmm.
Speaker 7 (37:19):
It's an interesting philosophical question and one that should be
answered with just self worth.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Yeah, like, as long as you care about yourself, then
that should be cool.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
So to see an old lady say she's gonna end
herself just because we don't give her a few minutes
of attention is a bizarre thing to witness. So it's
exhausting to be around her. But what else can my
wife and sister in law do. She's their mom and
they both try their darn best to make her feel special.
But they would also just like to interact with her
as their mom too, not just as some out of
(37:48):
touch royalty. They would like to crack jokes, chat about
general things, and share their problems, not have to be
constantly worried what statement might tick her off.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
Yeah, when they were.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Kids in her orbit, things are fine as she controlled them,
and that made her feel she is in the center
of attention. Now they are married and have a family
of their own, and that she is not the anchor
of the family. She has started becoming more and more
demanding that we perform some elaborate.
Speaker 4 (38:13):
Rituals to make it feel special. That's extremely exhausting.
Speaker 3 (38:17):
She's just like, okay, now bring me on the palanquin, please.
Speaker 7 (38:20):
Like doing like the Bohemian grove, like Illuminati rituals.
Speaker 3 (38:24):
She's like, now you must burn an evangy to the
toolamac owl god.
Speaker 4 (38:27):
A sacrifice a lamb and drink its blood. So to
the actual event itself.
Speaker 3 (38:35):
Mother in law and father in law have traveled to
our country and are staying with us for a short
time to help us with the kids as we all
live halfway across the globe. My wife planned an elaborate
Mother's Day event centered around mother in law, even though
she herself is a mom too. One of the plans
included lunch at a popular ethnic cuisine restaurant. By the way,
had she not planned it, had she not planned it herself,
(38:57):
there would have been a snarky comment at the end
of the day, say, seems like you don't care about
your mom enough to plan something for me. I was
waiting the whole day for you to do something. Anyway,
morning went to uneventfully as we had been pampering the
grown up toddler, and mother.
Speaker 4 (39:13):
In law was quite jubilant.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
We got to the restaurant and I and our elder
one go in to set up the table as my
wife is bringing the others mother in law, father in law,
and our little one, My two year old, the real
toddler decides to throw a tantrum for toddler reasons.
Speaker 4 (39:29):
But then mother in.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
Law sees this beautiful garden in front of the restaurant
and wants my wife to take her a pick. Mother
in law doesn't care about anything and forces my wife
to take several picks as my wife is holding a crying,
fussing and kicking toddler on her hip.
Speaker 4 (39:43):
What a whack thing to make somebody do.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
Very's very strange having past in the glory of being
the center of attention. Mother in law is satisfied enough
and they all come in, and my wife is ticked
from the events, but tries her best to be cheerful.
The waiter comes in to take the order, and right
then mother decides to go to the restroom. My wife
asks her to order before going, as the kids will
get angry if we wait for long. The big mistake
(40:08):
my wife did was asking in a normal tone, a
regular conversational tone, instead of pleading or pleasing pampering tone.
How damn my wife order her royalty on what to do?
Speaker 4 (40:19):
That was strike one.
Speaker 3 (40:20):
As me and my wife are looking at the basilian
choices and trying to order for the kids ourselves, spice level,
et cetera. We got absorbed into ordering without paying attention.
Speaker 4 (40:28):
To the most important person. Mother in law wasn't the
center of attention for two full minutes.
Speaker 3 (40:34):
How dairy that strike too? We didn't notice that and
ask her what she wants. She asks if they have
a particular ethnic dish which is a regular staple we
have almost every day at home, like a grilled cheese
that too in in a different meek tone. She was
indirectly implying that she's just nobody because of strike one
(40:54):
and two. So she's ordering some peasant food.
Speaker 7 (40:57):
I cannot stand people like this.
Speaker 4 (41:02):
It sounds infuriate.
Speaker 7 (41:03):
She's the kind of person who's like, if I feel bad,
I want everyone around me to feel bad.
Speaker 4 (41:08):
I'm a terrible day today.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (41:10):
That was our c to realize our mistake, frustrate before her,
beg her forgiveness, and bring the world back into alignment
before things go downhill. We fail to notice that change
in tone, which is strike three instead my wife's jess mom.
Speaker 4 (41:24):
We have that almost every get at home. So why
don't you? Mother in law cuts her off, saying.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
I know that.
Speaker 4 (41:30):
Are you saying I don't know that and storms off
to the restaurant.
Speaker 7 (41:34):
I'm implying it because you just asked to order it
at the restaurant.
Speaker 4 (41:38):
It's like, why don't we get why don't we drist something?
Speaker 3 (41:40):
We all are figuring out what the f happened? And oh,
there goes the phone. Oh oh, we all are figuring out.
Speaker 4 (41:49):
What the f happened, and we finish ordering.
Speaker 3 (41:51):
Mother in law comes back and unloads onto my wife
how she disrespected her.
Speaker 4 (41:56):
We brought her to this country.
Speaker 3 (41:57):
And ever since then, my wife has made it her
mission and to do nothing but continuously humiliate her.
Speaker 4 (42:03):
And mother in law starts crying.
Speaker 1 (42:05):
So I think the perfect way to deal with this
is to treat her like a.
Speaker 4 (42:07):
Toddler and just ignore her. Yeah, okay, mom, if you're
gonna have a tantrum.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
I quickly realized what ed conspired. But my innocent wife,
whose heart is only filled with love and not such
evil games, doesn't realize the drama mother in law wants. Instead,
she's trying to understand how suggesting that the dish is
a regular staple at home is humiliating, and mother in
law goes, you're implying I'm dumb and don't even know this.
Speaker 4 (42:31):
You've ruined Mother's Day.
Speaker 3 (42:33):
All daughters do special things on Mother's Day, and here
you are ruining mine and.
Speaker 4 (42:38):
A few other delectable books.
Speaker 7 (42:40):
If I could just like pop my eyes out and
roll them around, that's how hard I want to roll
my eyes right, roll those eyes I want to roll
them down a bowling house.
Speaker 4 (42:47):
This is pretty exhausting. This is probably what wife has
been going on, you know, going through her whole life.
But oh, he's just sitting there.
Speaker 7 (42:55):
And she's just been conditioned to be like, yeah, I
guess this is now, this is I have to handle
this and know he's like, so, yeah, that's the solution
is straight up ignoring.
Speaker 1 (43:04):
Yeah, don't play into.
Speaker 3 (43:05):
This, my wife says, again and again, that's just a
regular thing to say to your mom. But mother in
law is adamant that my wife humiliated to her by
implying she's dumb but not knowing it's a staple dish
we regularly eat at home. And well, now I'm not
entirely convinced that you did know that, because you've really been.
Speaker 4 (43:23):
Honing in on the fact that you know, Oh, I'm
not dumb. I know this.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
I'm not dumb, and I know the thing that you said.
Speaker 4 (43:28):
It feels like it feels like you might not have known.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
Yes, I know, we eat that.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
He didn't protest too much and storms off to sit outside. Seriously,
that was the entire discussion for a full five minutes.
It was extremely bizarre to see a sixty year old
woman throw a tantrum and accuse her daughter because she said.
Speaker 4 (43:46):
It's a regular staple we had to eat at home.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
Normally, we'd run after her, apologize and beg her to
come back and keep apologizing throughout the lunch, which is
what she wanted after three strikes. But this time we
were so over to this. Bs been through similar ones
many times. We just sat and ate in piece without
an extra side of trauma. But my wife was heartbroken.
She does all this planning, wanting to be a good daughter,
(44:11):
wanted her mom to feel special, and in the end
has ruined mother's day by talking to her mom as
a mom.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
And knows his royalty.
Speaker 3 (44:19):
So a sixty year old woman started crying in the
middle of lunch rush in a popular restaurant, all because
we didn't give her attention for five minutes while we
were busy ordering food for kids. There are hundreds of
such stories, but this one is the clearest. Wtf that happened?
Speaker 4 (44:35):
And edit?
Speaker 3 (44:37):
My wife is a very sweet person who believes there
is goodness in everyone. She's been annoyed by mother in
law's behavior and had been tipping around at this point,
which I was actually surprised by, but being the good
natured person she is, she has decided that she will
continue to make her mom happy, whether that actually makes
her mom happy or not.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
Hey, it's John here, og host of the show. We're
going to get back to these juicy stories. But here's
a quick three minutes of ads from our sponsor.
Speaker 4 (45:00):
But there is a little bit left of the story.
Do any final thoughts.
Speaker 7 (45:03):
Therapy, therapy, therapy, everybody needs therapy.
Speaker 4 (45:07):
Da da da da da Yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:09):
Crazy.
Speaker 4 (45:09):
That sentence was crazy.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
What they said, like they find goodness to like everyone.
Speaker 4 (45:14):
What do they look Skywalker, You're like, Oh, they're still
good in him, They're still good.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
Like mom needs she's still.
Speaker 4 (45:20):
Good cloth therapy.
Speaker 3 (45:22):
Elpi's wife honestly needs therapy to handle her mom, and.
Speaker 4 (45:25):
She would probably be more receptive to it.
Speaker 7 (45:27):
I doubt that Mom's gonna go do anything because even
implying the mom needs therape, we should be like, you
should be saying that crazy, yeah, mom, that's not a
normal reaction.
Speaker 4 (45:39):
But there is a little bit left to the story.
Speaker 3 (45:40):
She wants to be a good daughter and believes it's
her duty to do that therapy. She will continue to
roll the boulder uphill every day, whether it reaches the
top or not a therapy, we know that it never
will Sisyphis. It's her mom and she believes that is
the right thing to do, so I'm fine with it.
I will not try to change that because thirty or
forty years later, when she looks back, she will not
remember what her mom did to her. All she will
(46:02):
remember is what she did in response, and she tried
her best to be.
Speaker 4 (46:05):
A good daughter, and I believe that will give her peace.
Speaker 3 (46:08):
Comments coming on, I think that even though your wife
did put a lot of effort into that lunch, I
think your mother in law just wanted an excuse just
to get her way and basically make herself feel better
by putting your sister in law and wife down just
for her amusement. I think that it's not only just
trying to make her feel better, but I think it's
more like she enjoys the attention and enjoys people pampering her.
(46:30):
I hate to say it, there's going to have to
be a come to Jesus moment with both sister in
law and your wife because she's probably going to say
something or do something that's going to be a powder
keg and then all el's going to break loose the nearest. Uh,
not just going to be afraid it's going to be
a massacre. Opie says, this is just one hundred percent true.
It's as if you live with us. My sister in
(46:51):
law has been the black sheep since she was young,
so she doesn't give mother in law much attention and
puts her down off. Sometimes it gets so bad that
they won't talk to each other for a week while
being together in a small two bedroom apartment. But then again,
we are Asian and have a close relationship with her parents.
It's not easy to give up on your mom. Sister
in law and mother in law have this relationship like
two people who love and hate each other and break
(47:13):
up and get together every few weeks. My wife was
the doting child, so it's hard for her to give
up on mother in law. She isn't looking for approval
for mother in law at least not anymore. But you
genuinely wants her mom to be happy, and we'll keep
trying forever. I don't think my wife will ever have
a come to Jesus moment. You will just keep trying
to make her happy as long as both of them
are alive. Pretty sure my wife will continue to even
(47:35):
after mother in law passes away.
Speaker 7 (47:37):
Which is why we need therapy therapy.
Speaker 4 (47:42):
Saying it like a Pokemon.
Speaker 3 (47:43):
Therapy, Opie replies true, or another replies sorry, true. Words
of wisdom right here. You can't fix it because it's
not actually broken. It's exactly what mother in law wants.
Speaker 4 (47:54):
And that is the end of that story. But yeah,
be big time.
Speaker 7 (48:01):
I'm just thinking of all the moves if therapy was
a Pokemon, the moves that it would use.
Speaker 6 (48:06):
I choose therapy, I choose therapy, use communication, therapy, used
chamber of reflection.
Speaker 7 (48:12):
It's super effective therapy, you self control. Opposing Pokemon is
now confused. Yeah, what's the what's the evolution of therapy therapy,
couples therapy, the therapist therapy is Oh, that's a final evolution.
Oh no, yeah no, all right, let's continue. Yeah yeah,
all right, yep, you be working on it.
Speaker 3 (48:33):
But that's the end of that episode. So if you
love us, make sure to subscribe.
Speaker 4 (48:38):
We love you and see you tomorrow.
Hey, this is Sam. This is John the og story
time podcast host. Oh yeah, we got some great stories
coming up.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
But before that, we get a teeny two minute break
from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like
a little house.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
My mother insists I invite strangers to my wedding because
a ghost told her to.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Ghost told me this morning.
Speaker 4 (00:20):
Ghost. My ghost told me this morning.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Maybe you should listen to it might be more fun.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
That's true.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Also trigger warning for mental health discussions and death. So
I twenty eight female and my fiance Bjorn.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
That's the name.
Speaker 4 (00:37):
Isn't that the singer?
Speaker 1 (00:38):
That's a very that's a name.
Speaker 4 (00:40):
Yeah, I said, like your singer. Yeah, I agree, you.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Don't know Swedish people. I don't sawry Swedish people.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Twenty seven male are getting married May thirty first, twenty
twenty five.
Speaker 4 (00:52):
We are very excited.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
We're currently hurrying to plan and arrange everything. In the
four short months four short months we have left at
Mastersburg in law schools have been kicking our butts and
making planning everything impossible. Things have been largely, but not entirely,
drama free until now. So I thought I would get
away just being able to laugh at other people's stories.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
Ooh, how naive I was?
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Oh, it happened to you.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
By the way, this comes from Okay job three nine
seven eight, And if you want to submit your own stories,
go to our slash Okay storytime. Separate it so all
names are fake and apologies in advance for any spelling errors.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
I'm very dyslexic. Yay some context.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
My mother, let's call her mother, has been a bit weird,
my entire life, being hyper health conscious, really into snake
oil medicines, superstitiously religious, and overall difficult to predict and
get along with for the entirety of my memory.
Speaker 4 (01:48):
Sounds like a voodoo doctor.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
It became clear that all of this was due to
an undiagnosed mental health condition. In twenty twenty one, after
a very traumatic few months of chaos, she was involuntarily
committed and she was diagnosed with bipolar one with psychotic elements.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
But the more snakeli you drink less you have to.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Worry about You're just closer to passing away.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
I guess now your life is shorter, so you have
to worry about it for a shorter amount of period.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
There we go.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
It became clear at that point that she has been
having delusions for many, many years, and that this was
the source of her weird behaviors.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
Whatever else I say.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
I know that while she is indeed a bit of
a Karen on her own, a lot of that is
exacerbated by her condition. So be gentle in the comments.
I still love my mama, even if she does occasionally
drive me crazy. That fact, however, doesn't mean that she
isn't still often a Karen and the center of drama
and funny stories, one of which is actively in development
(02:48):
right now.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
You know, actively in development. You're at Goms.
Speaker 5 (02:54):
So the title says, a ghost told my mom that
I absolutely needed to invite two young women that are
practically strangers to me to my wedding.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Who are these strangers? Well, let me tell you backstory.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
Yay, many years ago, when I was just a child,
I was off and babysat by a family friend of ours,
let's call her Tina.
Speaker 3 (03:21):
Tina had six children, and I became friends with two
of her girls, Martha and Dot. Miss Tino was married
to a police officer, Pat, who we found out many
years later was.
Speaker 4 (03:31):
Violent and abusive towards her.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Oh. She divorced him and left with her children when
I was a teenager. Yay, at this point I had
already stopped spending time with Martha and Dot. Really we
were friends of circumstance because their mom used to babysitting.
When I got old enough not to need babysitting, around eleven,
we also stopped spending time together eleven.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
What about eleven?
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Oh that's a good point, but that's whenever you don't.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
Need well, roughly, yeah, I started. I started babysitting at twelve.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
That's when you become like whoa you switch from like
camper to camp counselor twelve.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Well, I think my brothers can take care of themselves. Yeah, okay,
all right, all right, I just think that's young. I
don't know why.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
Well, no, I feel like it. It depends on you
to be a teenager.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Then I think some some parents will wait until their
kids are like, you know, fourteen or something.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
I'm just imagining talking to twelve year old Sofia, I know,
and I don't even know what that looks.
Speaker 6 (04:27):
Percy Jackson, Percy Jackson, Percy Jackson, Harwotter.
Speaker 4 (04:30):
Okay, I had a hobby.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Am I wrong? Am I wrong?
Speaker 4 (04:36):
Though?
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Am I wrong?
Speaker 3 (04:37):
What's a television I hadn't really kept up with their
family until tragedy struck during my freshman year of college.
Miss Tina, oh, my gosh, had been unalive by her
ex husband in broad daylight with their seven year old
in the car.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
That's pretty funny.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
It was horrible and for months I grieve this kind
lady that had taken such good care of me.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
That's awful.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
The next time I saw Martha and Dott was at
their mother's funeral. We hugged, we wept, and we went
our separate ways. That was nine years ago. We haven't
seen or spoken to each other before or since. Oh
and back to the current day today, what a.
Speaker 4 (05:24):
Royal like this happened?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Anyway, she was murdered in her car. This is pretty
ghost though.
Speaker 4 (05:34):
I like, if you told me that, dude, like trauma
ghost story, that's really awful.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
You tell me this around a campfire, I'm terrified. I mean, yeah,
broad daylight. Also, don't say broad daylight, do like it
was rainy mercury midnight.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
This is a true story.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
I was hoping for a ghost story. I need more ghosts.
Speaker 6 (05:53):
Okayways, well still serve aren't I'm going ghost I'm so
sorry for your your loss, Sophie, but you did really
just kind of switch back into you were like, ah, you.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Even included THEO wu scz Opie did add a trigger warning.
We just added our own trigger warning, and so I
didn't reread their trigger warning.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
I'll put it in.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
The trigger warning was that we were the First thing
in the morning, I received a cryptic text from my
mother that there was a very important matter she needed
to discuss with me. Not being of the constitution or
mood to entertain such vague grease, I pressed her to
at least give me a topic of discussion, though she
did not want to give me specifics over the phone.
She eventually let me know that.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
She sometimes receives messages from the deceased and that she
had received a task that she needed my help with.
It was very ominous.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
You can imagine the depth of pucker my a hole
what took on when I realized that my mom had
been hearing voices again, and that it had evidently been
going on for some time now. My mom doesn't realize
that the calls are coming from inside the house, so
to speak, or at least she chooses not to believe
that they are in fact, she firmly believes that she
(07:05):
is the Catholic Catholic guest Catholic lady to ever Catholic,
and that she is, of course holier enough than now
to have been gifted with the ability to see visions
and dream dreams and hear the voice of God and
the angels. While she hangs out in the living room, Dude,
I feel like the more religious that you are, the
more receptive you would be to you know, this is true,
(07:26):
to believing in this, you know, ghosts and and all
that stuff, because it's already close.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Yeah, I've been around people that can hear the Holy
Spirit and they're like pretty pretty tight.
Speaker 4 (07:36):
With them, pretty tight, pretty tight. So like, how do
you you know?
Speaker 3 (07:39):
It's like if you're if you believe in that already,
it would probably be a harder jump to make.
Speaker 4 (07:45):
And then my thought process is it's actually a mental
health Why.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
If you're if you're around that and you believe in
the spiritual warfare, why are you opening yourself up to
that stuff? What are we doing well?
Speaker 4 (07:55):
I mean, she's clearly mentally ill.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
So it's like, really like don't like you don't need
to do that, girl, You're good.
Speaker 4 (08:02):
She needs a therapistess, she needs psychiatric help.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Man.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
To be clear, I am also Catholic, and I love
my faith, and I do believe that there is a
supernatural side to the world. I also just don't believe
that my mother has any access to it, considering the
most of the holiest saints were never gifted with visions,
and she is anything other than holy or saintly think
very charming but very judgmental old church lady. Well, apparently
miss Tina has been telling her that Martha and Dodd
(08:29):
have lost their way and that my mother must intervene.
How does she know this Why?
Speaker 4 (08:35):
Facebook?
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Of course, what's actually happening is that she has seen
them posting on Facebook and doesn't approve of their lifestyle.
So now her delusions are giving her an excuse to
insert herself.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Ooh, so what does she make about their lifestyle and
an opinion? And if you have an opinion, what do
you do with it? Keep to yourself, exactly, keep it
to yourself.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Yeah, except she doesn't want to insert herself. She wants
to insert me. Specifically, she wants me to rekindle our
friendship that ended when I was about eleven years old.
More specifically, she wants me to invite them to my
wedding in four months. How I mean again, this woman
clearly has like many mental health issues. But how just
(09:18):
awful would it be if Opie does invite these girls
to her wedding and then her mom goes and kind
of like it, goes over to them and is like, Oh,
your mother who passed away very violently told me that
she doesn't approve of your lifestyle.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
Like that would be so awful. Change like, definitely, do
not invite these girls to your wedding because your mom's
going to you know, or traumatize them.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Hell Mary, Mama be saving their lives or.
Speaker 4 (09:51):
We actually thought about that. There is a ghost now.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Of course I told her no, I don't know these
women at all at this point. I haven't opened to
them in almost twenty years. I have no reason to
invite them to my wedding, and.
Speaker 4 (10:04):
They have no reason to come.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
More than that, we already have too many people between
Bjorn's normal sized American family, my gigantic Cuban family, and
the few friends we were able to squeeze in were
at one hundred and forty people we only wanted like
seventy five. But my parents offered to help us pay
so that they could invite more of the family, because family,
I guess family.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
Fam n that's furious family.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
Whatever they're paying for it, so it honestly is fine. However,
as generous as their being, and they are being very generous,
the economy and weddings being what they are, the venues
we can afford are rather small, and one forty really
is the cap of people we can invite. So if
I invite Martha and Dott they will have nowhere to sit,
as well as we will be capacity. I told her
(10:50):
both things. When she demanded to know why, My immediate
response was a firm no. First, she had insisted that
we had been good friends and hung out on a
regular basis. She would be correct about that, except for
a critical detail that the regular basis was specifically when
our parents were either at church or doing something church
related together. Also, again, our friendship had not survived my
(11:10):
need to be actively supervised. Oh, so I wouldn't harm myself.
She then asked if she could replace two family members,
her aunt and uncle that she had insisted I invite
with these two young women.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
So she just keeps adding more people. She's like.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
I also first, I need to invite these two girls
because their mom is a message for them, and also
your aunt and uncle, just because I've got some other
messages I've got to pass on. It's kind of like
a back order voicemail type situation.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Did everyone there in one place? So I can just
go ahead and let them know.
Speaker 4 (11:44):
I think. Also, my mosseuse is gonna come.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
My dog walker, Yeah, go ahead and add him in there.
I got a message for him.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Now, I have already sent out the save the dates,
and though I haven't sent out the invitations yet, I
know I'm running out of time. I'm working on it.
I can't just not send in invitation at this point, though,
as they may have gotten flights and hotels already, they
live in another state.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
We're also I'm so sorry. Yes, the way she's handing
out like these, like I have messages for you, it
feels like The Godfather. I haven't seen someone in The
Godfather first scene. It's coming here I've seen, so it
feels like the same thing. Yeah. So it's like the
daughter's wedding and what.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
People can do so utopia. I mean, I see, I
know you're talking about, but that's really that's pretty much.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
That's pretty much it. Yeah, it's the scene the wedding's
happening and people come to the guy, the father and
is like asking favors coming here the day of my
daughter's wedding, day of my daughter's wedding, and they ask
for like, you know whatever, and no granted in a worship.
This feels like that.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
It feels like she's gonna get like she's got a
little notebook a full of messages from like the beyond,
and she's like, line up, and I hope he's actively
getting married. And she's like, I'm just gonna be over
the corner.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
Don't buy me. You won't even hear me.
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Yeah, that's how it goes.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
Thanks. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Also, I'm want to do that my daughter's wedding. But
three you're just handing up what do you want? What
do you want me to three D print?
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Here, I'm going to learn some sort of craft and
I'm just going to like set up a little craft
in the corner.
Speaker 4 (13:09):
You already have like balloon animals.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
I do before we go through with the story, do
you guys believe in ghost I don't.
Speaker 4 (13:16):
I know you do.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Yes, in a way, I believe in the spiritual warfare
that people go through.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
Okay, yeah, I am an all right non believer.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
Yeah, I'm skeptic. The only thing that I am superstitious
about is knocking on wood because my mom.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
Always does it.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
She's really instilled in me.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Are you knock on wood?
Speaker 4 (13:34):
But anyway, we've got more story to read.
Speaker 3 (13:36):
So that's what I told my mom, and that I
would need them to RSVP. No before I could say
that their seats were empty, she responded that they had
told her that they weren't coming, and that the invitation
was just a courtesy, and therefore.
Speaker 4 (13:48):
I could use those two spots for other people.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
Wait, oh what, so this is the mom already invited
these two girls.
Speaker 4 (13:57):
Weird, that's what it seems like.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Weird.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
Now, well, my mother is a bit confused.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
I know full well that it is that this is
not United Airlines flight number five three one two five,
and that over selling seats is very much against policy.
So I responded that I was not going to just
assume they were not coming. I was going to send
the invitation that again she had insisted I send, and
then I was going to wait for the RSVP. My
(14:22):
mom responded that they had told her they were not coming. Now,
I have been in many of these, he said. She
said situations before where communication through a middleman goes wrong
and everyone ends up confused, in people you didn't expect
to end up where you didn't expect them. Given that
and the aforementioned fact that this is not a United
Airlines flight, I have been extremely insistent that I hear
(14:42):
directly from guests if they want to be taken off
any lists, or if they want an RSVP anything for anything,
a fact which I reiterated to her in the moment,
and that if her aunt and uncle RSVP no with me,
then yes, their spots would technically be empty. But I
was not just going to take her word for it. Okay,
So to Claire, I understand, now it seems like it's
(15:03):
not the two girls that had already said they were,
you know, uh, talk to it's Opie's mom talked to
the aunt and uncle and already kind of invited them
and they already said no. But Opie's like, no, I'm
gonna RSVP or I'm gonna make them RSVP so they
don't just show up.
Speaker 4 (15:19):
And I'm like, not, I see, that's what it seems like.
It's happening.
Speaker 3 (15:22):
Well, that was my first mistake, because how dare I
not trust her to give me accurate information and to
disbelieve her when I only know these people through her
and they talked to her and they.
Speaker 4 (15:34):
Told her that they aren't coming.
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Apparently, in my desire to do things a certain way
in order to preserve my own sanity and avoid avoidable
issues is controlling, which, yes, yes it is, and I'm
fine with it. You're allowed to be controlling because.
Speaker 4 (15:48):
It's your wedding.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Yep, you get picked that day, that's your.
Speaker 4 (15:51):
Day, Jolly Toaster says.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
The mom insisted that the aunt and uncle get invited
previously and was planning to replace them with the two girls. Oh,
without confirming whether the aunt and uncle were coming.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
God got you, thank you. We have two spots, yes,
RSVP them. Oh they can't make it, will just fight
those girls.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
Yeah, And so she's.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Saying, oh, I can't okay, So basically it's just assuming
that the aunt an uncle can't really make it. But
ohp He's like, no, I don't want four people to
show up, so let's double check. I see, and I'm
fine with that. This is my wedding. And short of
being a bridezilla. I will be as controlling as necessary
to ensure that things go smoothly and there are no miscommunications.
(16:30):
I have no wedding planner, It's just me. Therefore, everything
needs to go through me and no one else going forward,
and I am completely okay with that.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
Being okay with being controlling was, of course my second mistake.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Why because this is not my wedding, but merely a
wedding in the family at which I happened to be
getting married. Yes, I did point out that my mother
had just described my wedding. Then she shouted that I
told her months ago that she could invite an extra
ten to fifteen people, and that now I.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
Was going back on my word.
Speaker 3 (17:00):
Oh, a wild accusation, as I had never said any
such thing. She probably got that in a message though, Yeah,
you probably heard that from the voice of God versus
the voices beyond.
Speaker 4 (17:11):
Yeah, She's like, sorry, so I must have gotten that
mixed up.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Oh that was meant for so much.
Speaker 4 (17:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Even checked with my dad, who was present at the conversations,
and he agreed that I never said any such thing.
Speaker 4 (17:23):
What I had said was that I needed.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
To know who they my parents wanted to invite though
that I could have a head count while looking for venues.
They said it would be no more than ten to
fifteen people. It was way more than that, and I
had told them that they needed to give me named
people that I had had interactions with within the past
ten years.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
We go debragm debragam.
Speaker 4 (17:43):
They gave me the names.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
At that point, I asked them repeatedly if that was everyone.
They both repeatedly responded yes. I told them at the
time that this was their last chance, as I was
going to send out save the dates and I did
not want to edit the guest list any further.
Speaker 4 (17:57):
At that point, they both responded that there was no
one else.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
They even had me take certain people that I had
assumed I needed to invite off the list because we
don't have much of a relationship with them.
Speaker 4 (18:07):
I reminded her of this fact. Well, that was my
third mistake, because how dare I tell her who she
can and cannot invite when she's the one paying for everything? Oh,
there we go.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
It's always using the money whenever they pay they think
they can control your old wedding. No such thing as
a free lunch man. She isn't my dad is, and
he agrees that I shouldn't invite Martha. Also, Bijorn's parents
are helping too.
Speaker 4 (18:33):
That I have, of.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
Course, a terrible daughter who doesn't care about her and
what she wants and needs. And now I'm telling her
who she can and can invite with her invitations that
her aunt and uncle aren't coming, and I have no
right to tell her who she can give those seats to.
When I reminded her that I definitely can tell her
who can and can't come, because this is again my
wedding and you're not paying for it. Yeah, and you're
(18:55):
not paying for it. The dad is an Op's fiance's
parents aren't.
Speaker 4 (18:59):
Yes. She shouted that then she won't come to the
wedding and was going to return her Mother of the
Bride dress. She can't. She bought it two years ago,
two seconds after the engagement.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Along engagement that's also cute, that's very sweet.
Speaker 4 (19:11):
She ordered me to take her off the guest list.
She's like, fine, take me on, I'm done, but can
we put Matha and Dot back on?
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Can we use my spot because Mother of the Bride's
worth like two spots, right.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Dude, If you really need to get this message going
just go meet them.
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Yeah, honestly, you can call them and you say hey, hey. Now,
this is a tactic she uses a lot, and one
she has used throughout my entire life. I set a
boundary and keep it, and she throws a fit and
cancels the trip, or leaves me at home while she
takes my siblings out, or she cancels a playdate or
birthday party, or she doesn't show up to something important,
et cetera. She even did it to my big sister
(19:49):
several times when we were planning her wedding. Then she
ended up actually going and then sabotaged the walk down
the aisle, and my dad didn't get to walk my sister.
My sister lurks here and she'll profit see this, I
sais see. It is always hurt when she has done this,
But this time around, I was just tired and frankly
fed up. What happened next is what I think sent
(20:10):
her over the edge. I'm just like, I really quick.
It feels like we've like walked away from the whole
ghost thing, you know, like it feels like that was whoa,
she's talking to ghosts. And o'b was like, well now
she's making me invite on an uncle, like maybe we
should we should go call some a doctor. Yeah, I
(20:32):
feel like it's less. Oh she's being annoying. It's like,
maybe we should call a doctor.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Or my thought was ghost thing, ghost thing, ghost thing.
I'm gonna get these two girls get in here. What
we're gonna do is they're gonna find the richest people
at this wedding. They're gonna follow them to their houses,
still their jewelry, and then I'm gonna be a millionaire
and blame it on the ghost. Blame it on and
then bring the ghost bank.
Speaker 4 (20:51):
It's also an option I suppose.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Actually don't do that because Gussie will get upset. Never mind,
they're they're resting in peace. Well those aren't. But like
I feel like it's that's a distraction. There's another plan
amongst so that we don't know about. The twist trying
to throw you off her sent Sorry, I'll do my okay,
story time for those who don't know.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
I told her that she didn't have to be there
if she didn't want to be, and that she had
the ability to return address if that was what she
wanted to do. I also let her know that if
she did choose not to come to my wedding over
such a silly argument that she would be nuking any
relationship she and I have going forward.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
I was gonna name a nuke name, all right.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
That went over like a lead balloon filled with mercury.
You're a nuke. Thank you when you let it rip.
That's a heavy balloon right there.
Speaker 7 (21:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
She responded that we clearly don't have relationships since I
don't care about her feelings and I don't want to
listen to my mother read as obey her. She then
stomped off into her room and refused to discuss things further.
Speaker 4 (21:47):
Now, let's be honest. To a degree, she is correct,
I don't care about her feelings on this, And he's like, yeah,
you're right, you cannot show up and it will be fine.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Actually I don't want to show up, so.
Speaker 4 (21:59):
Yeah, do you a little reverse psychology be like actually
you're not invited anymore, yo, And then she'd be like.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Hi, demand distress two years ago.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
I care what you meant. And then you're like, okay,
you can come back.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
I don't want to go.
Speaker 3 (22:10):
She can be mad if she wants to. In fact,
she can put on a cape, so she could be
super mad.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
That's funny.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
However, that is going to change that. It isn't going
to change the size of the venue, nor will it
change the fact that Biorn and I are adamant that
we are surrounded only by friends and family that we
care about and who care about us on the day
of our wedding. In fact, as of a few months ago,
when I asked my parents if they were any more
people they wanted to add to the guest list any more,
(22:38):
edits became two yes's what no, meaning that either both
of us agree or neither of us agree. He also
does not want to invite strangers to our wedding oh
any more? Edits became too oh okay, so basically saying
that if they wanted, if Opie's parents wanted to add
more people, both Ope and her fiance would have to agree.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Yes, dude, you let that be the basis of your relationship,
then whenever it comes to other things you both have
to agree on it. It's just I love this. I okay,
I like that part.
Speaker 4 (23:12):
What if you both can agree, yeah, it doesn't happen.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
Well, Like, hey babe, I want to buy this table,
Like I agree, and then you both get it, okay,
and that kind of thing. Yeah, you don't like I
bought the table. It's like I bought I bought a puppy.
Bring it home and the girl and watch what Like
we didn't talk about this like, Okay, I agreed on it.
We both have to talk about it. I love it
the communication.
Speaker 3 (23:32):
Yeah, therefore there will be no strangers at our wedding. Now,
knowing that my mom was likely going to tell my
dad that I had uninvited her from my wedding, I
went to him to explain the situation. First, he was bewildered,
but was adamant that the fact that the financial help
he had promised was not going to be rescinded based
on my mother's decisions, something I was very grateful for.
(23:55):
Then I went and complained to Bjorn about what was
going on. It was all so exhausted to hear, but
said that from this point forward I should blame him
for this and any other knows I have to get
the heat off of my back. I get where he's
coming from. Since I still live with my parents and
he still lives with his. Apartments are expensive and mom
and Dad are not, so he doesn't need to deal
with it in the same way. It's unfortunate, though, because
(24:17):
we have been trying to rehabilitate his relationship with my
parents for months. He didn't do anything.
Speaker 4 (24:23):
My mom is just.
Speaker 3 (24:24):
Mad that she doesn't get as much control over my
life since he's been in my life. I can't find
faults in his logic, though. After talking to my maid
and matron of honor, my best friend, and my sister,
I sat down with my both of my parents the
same evening. I didn't gather them. They just both happened
to be in the same room and I wanted my
dad there so that my mom and I wouldn't remember
the conversation differently, something which happens quite often. Yeah, you
(24:47):
need the third party to take notes. You need the
court reporter in the room who's just like and you're like, okay, well, see,
if you refer to page four, he'll see that.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
I never said that.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
I'm always impressed by how fast I mean.
Speaker 4 (25:00):
The short shorthand is such an interesting Oh are they shorthanded?
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Well, it's I'm pretty sure that in I don't know
if it's specifically shorthand, but I know that it's like shorthand.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Yeah, I've seen someone do shorthand before. I could probably
my aunt kill a shorthand. I'm pretty good.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
At time, I explained that Dot Martha and I are
not friends, and we weren't even that good friends as children,
and that as much.
Speaker 4 (25:22):
Responsibility as my mom feels towards Miss Tina, I was not.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
Going to invite them to my wedding. I also pointed
out that if the goal is to rekindle my friendship
with them, inviting them to my wedding was never going
to accomplish that. It's not like I will have enough
time to catch up with them and talk about life.
I will be busy enjoying my wedding and celebrating with
Bjorn and my besties. I reminded her that her last
opportunity for input into the guest list was given and
(25:47):
explained as the last opportunity several months ago. She insists
that I'm gaslighting her and that I changed the rules
all of a sudden. I apologize for any misunderstanding or miscommunication,
but iterated that these have been the rules the entire time,
and that Bajorn also doesn't want to invite strangers to
our wedding. In fact, if her aunt and uncle aren't coming.
(26:09):
We have actual friends that we would have liked to
invite but didn't have the room for. Furthermore, I told
her how hurt I was that she would try to
manipulate me by threatening not to come to my wedding.
And I found that extremely nasty. And me and the
Mom's gonna be like, I see where you're coming from.
This is thank you for bringing this up in such
a respectful manner. I see my wrongdoings, and I'm gonna
change my way. I'm going to change the error of
(26:31):
my ways, or I've seen the error of my ways, right,
I shall be a better person going forward, the better mother.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Dude, if you put twenty if you betted that for
twenty bucks, you'd be a millionaire, because that's definitely.
Speaker 4 (26:41):
Not gonna happen. That's exactly where it's going. Mana man, what.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Would how would how do you even? Like, you know
your mom's off the rocker? You just that contact or
just you're not coming.
Speaker 4 (26:54):
Well.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
I feel like it is really tricky in this situation
because I think that op has, I mean, beyond the
beginning of this story, Ope has kind of glossed over
the fact that her mom is you know, has bipolar
and has I think like with like psychotic one or something,
so like that is.
Speaker 4 (27:11):
A pretty relevant part of you know, why she is
acting this way.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
So I do think that like a certain level of
race has to be or you know, or it seems like, oh,
he is giving her mother a certain level of because
she is so like, yeah, okay, fine, mom, that's how
you're to act.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
And that's how she keeps her sanity. I would lose
my sanity.
Speaker 4 (27:32):
Yeah, which is I mean, it's really hard because.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
She's pretty tied up on this one thing.
Speaker 3 (27:37):
I think I'm sure that op's already or that her
family has already kind of been getting her mother to
help it seems. Yeah, but yeah, that must be really
tricky trying to deal with someone who is kind of
being very unreasonable, but also trying to hold space for
the fact that they, you know, are mentally. Yeah, she
is my mom, and we'll always have a seat at
(27:58):
my wedding, but she has the choice as to whether
or not her butt is in that seat. Well, it
was a mistake, but to tell her that I have
real friends, because since those seats were for her family,
then she should be able to fill them. With whoever
she wants. That is not the case and was never
the case. I have always had final veto power over
invitations from my side of the family, and she knew that.
(28:21):
She then started screaming that if I have a good
relationship with her, why did my dad need to be
there since I wasn't addressing him at all.
Speaker 4 (28:28):
Why didn't I dress her to know what was being said?
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Apparently it was the greatest of insults to say that
I wanted someone else in the room to help de
escalate things if they started to get out of hand.
Then she mentioned that we had been to dot In
Martha's older sister's wedding several years ago, so.
Speaker 4 (28:43):
We had to invite them.
Speaker 3 (28:45):
When I pointed out that if she wanted to fulfill
that courtesy, then we actually need to invite the sister
and her husband, mom and responded that that would be
too many people and that we should invite the younger
sisters instead. Lawless logic, right, Well, I said no, and
she stormed off again, saying that I could do what
I wanted, it's my wedding and that her opinions clearly
(29:07):
don't matter.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Breck, But that was sarcasm. Yeah, this is so frustrating,
very frustrating, just trying.
Speaker 4 (29:14):
To like have a wedding man.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
All of that happened two days ago, and she is
not in any way let it go. She has refused
to talk to me most of the day and has
broken the silence only to send me obnoxious numbers of
screenshots of the instagrams of various people that I had
been friends with as a child, but that she thinks
were and are good friends.
Speaker 4 (29:33):
She's like, you have to invite Timmy from third grade.
You you had a plate it one time.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Remember that one time he caught a frog for you.
Speaker 4 (29:43):
Oh, you got in by Timmy.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
That's a good frog kitchen.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
I am now very worried that she's going to pull
some sort of shenanigans and try to invite them herself
or else make my life and my wedding difficult for me.
She is known to be a meddler and tends to
sabotage things. I refer back to my sister's wedding, and
I don't want to deal with this right now. I'm
trying to throw together a wedding in four months time,
and I don't need the drama more than that. Though
(30:07):
I'm just so tired. I've been dealing with my mother's
various behaviors for years, and it's starting to get really heavy.
What makes it worse is that this is all fueled
by her sickness. She's only being like this because she
thinks that the spirits of the deceased come to her
to ask her to do tasks on earth so that
they can move on and enter heaven, or else people
(30:28):
in heaven are asking her to do things from them
on earth. She thinks that by refusing her, I am
refusing to help Miss Tina find peace, and that is
clearly driving her sane. I can't even be mad at
her because she can't be rational about this, and it
makes me sad because I am clearly causing her much
distressed and insisting on my boundaries. Oh jolly Toaster, says
(30:49):
I repeat, You cannot rationalize with irrational people. Yes, Unfortunately,
I think regardless of whether or not you put a boundary,
she would still find some way to be upset with you. Yeah,
and so I think right, it's the best way is
to make sure that for your you know, for your
(31:09):
own sanity, and for making sure that you have a
relationship continued like with your mother.
Speaker 4 (31:16):
In the future. I think you have to.
Speaker 3 (31:17):
Put up those boundaries because otherwise you're just not gonna
be able to be around her. At the same time, though,
she's being intentionally hurtful and manipulative, manipulative when she says
that I don't care about her or that she isn't
coming to my wedding, it all just makes me so
sad and frustrated, especially because we had made it to
four months out with relatively little drama, and now the
(31:38):
drama comes with interest. I don't need advice, I just
need events. I will update things as we get nearer
and near to the wedding. Thank you for reading.
Speaker 4 (31:48):
By the way, let'st.
Speaker 3 (31:50):
I advise you to listen to full episodes of stories
just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts or
your favorite podcast app like iHeartRadio and search a.
Speaker 4 (32:00):
Booky story time. But there is a little bit left.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
The story is there more, the wedding day is getting closer.
There might be an update.
Speaker 4 (32:08):
There's gotta be a little bit more.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
It's happening in May. That's almost got You're also I'm
going to a wedding in Math.
Speaker 4 (32:14):
In fact, yeah, I'm not.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
I'm sorry. You could get married to May.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
I'm just gonna find I'm find a person on the street.
Speaker 1 (32:23):
Hey, hey, hey, I'll be like, you want.
Speaker 4 (32:25):
To go to a wedding. They're like great, I'm like perfect.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
That is that is a movie idea. That's a script.
Speaker 3 (32:33):
Yeah, it's like, hey, I really need I really need
someone to go to a wedding with me. Oh my god,
it's a script. You the person goes on like a
dating app or something. They're like, hey, need a plus
one for a wedding, and then the person shows up.
Speaker 4 (32:47):
They're getting married.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
Yo, I've seen it. There is a movie about that.
Speaker 3 (32:51):
But they're like, oh my god, this is crazy, what
are you doing? But it was a whole kind of long,
like road strip movie, and I bonded on that road
trip and then they get married.
Speaker 4 (33:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:04):
Also, yeah, with this.
Speaker 4 (33:06):
Mom right the story, do you think.
Speaker 1 (33:08):
We need to give her a buddy at the wedding?
Speaker 4 (33:10):
Absolutely, if she goes to the I mean it seems
like she just needs that in general. But I think
the dad hopefully would be that person.
Speaker 3 (33:18):
They married married still, yeah, they lived together, So I
think maybe if you got if you talk to your dad,
because he seems pretty reasonable and said like, hey, can
I can I put this on you to make sure
that mom is looked after?
Speaker 4 (33:32):
Or do we need another person to do that?
Speaker 1 (33:34):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (33:34):
What do you need? Because I don't want to have
to be worrying about her.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
Yeai, I'm sorry?
Speaker 4 (33:40):
Really hard?
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Is there another one?
Speaker 3 (33:42):
Well, there's a little bit more edits. I've seen this
come up several times in the comments, so I'm going
to put this here. In the US, you have to
be very sick before control or information about your care
can be given over to someone else. In the case
of my mother, she is legally not sick enough for
my dad and I to have any information about her care,
including who her doctor is and what her diagnosis is.
(34:03):
I only know because I snooped in her paperwork a
couple of years ago. I mean, yeah, the process to
get like conservatorship or something is pretty pretty difficult.
Speaker 4 (34:12):
Let's ship a bunch of money.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
If you have a nine nsis like that, why would
you behind it?
Speaker 4 (34:18):
Well? Probably you know part of your illness stuff, okay,
and also you probably.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
I mean a lot of people, even if they know
that they have this diagnosis, don't want to lose autonomy
because that's already it's like a scary thing, and Ezekiel says, did.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
You want me get Swart? No, my friend bought it
for me for Christmas.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
But years ago, I do know that she doctor shopped
until she could convince someone that she only had anxiety,
and she was taken off most of her medications. At
this point, unless she starts threatening harm to herself or
someone else, or starts doing genuinely dangerous things, there really
isn't anything I can do. Having delusions that deceased people
are talking to her and getting angry.
Speaker 4 (34:58):
About it doesn't meet the criteria.
Speaker 3 (35:01):
I am thinking though, that I'm going to speak to
her priest about this and see if maybe he can
calm her down of it. Thanks to everyone who expressed concern,
there just isn't a lot that can be done from
a medical angle.
Speaker 4 (35:12):
At this point. Exerciser, but that is the end of
the story.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Oh man.
Speaker 3 (35:17):
Katie Paladin says mom should still be on bipolar meds.
I think Ope agrees with that, but unfortunately, just unfortunately,
it seems like she does not want to be put
on those meds and actively fighting against that.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
To save myself from a headache, I would go no
logan like kind of low contact until after the wedding. Yeah,
I mean just imagine every day the two girls like coming,
two girls like mante, two girls coming. It's something else.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
I think low contact until the wedding makes sense, like
you're not cutting her out at all and definitely not
in the future, but no, just right now with her
constantly kind of making this a problem.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
Oh yeah, but.
Speaker 4 (35:54):
Yeah, that's it's really tough, very tough, because it also
seems like, oh, he still has a lot of like
love for loving care because she says like she's a
charming woman.
Speaker 3 (36:01):
It's just she has these moments for you know. Josephine says,
by polar one, not psychotic one. By polar one includes
psychotic tendencies.
Speaker 4 (36:09):
I think that. I think it's said by.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
Said it, said both, but that could be also the case.
Speaker 4 (36:15):
That probably is the more correct way to say it.
I think so said it. But that is the end
of the story. Sweet, Do we have another one to read?
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Hey it's Sam, I'm your ogi host here bring it
back to the stories. But here's three minutes bads from
a sponsors.
Speaker 3 (36:31):
My wife spoiled Mother's Day because she won't give in
to my mother in law.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
Don't you know.
Speaker 7 (36:36):
That that's the day you leally have to do everything
she says.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Good.
Speaker 4 (36:40):
Wait unless you're also a mom, then they cancel out.
Speaker 3 (36:43):
My mother in law is an annoying person to say
in the nicest way, she has extremely low self worth
and she compensates that by forcing the world to go
around her. By the way, this comes from phone routine.
If you want to some Aaron stories, go to our
slash ooke storytime.
Speaker 4 (36:56):
Separate it.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
So, as a family who interact with her regularly, we
are forced to treat her like a queen every day,
every minute. If we don't, then there will be drama
all the way from pouting going to her room, fainting
leaving the house, to full blown breakdown, including saying, why.
Speaker 4 (37:13):
Should I live on this planet anymore? No one cares
about me? Hmmmm.
Speaker 7 (37:19):
It's an interesting philosophical question and one that should be
answered with just self worth.
Speaker 1 (37:25):
Yeah, like, as long as you care about yourself, then
that should be cool.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
So to see an old lady say she's gonna end
herself just because we don't give her a few minutes
of attention is a bizarre thing to witness. So it's
exhausting to be around her. But what else can my
wife and sister in law do. She's their mom and
they both try their darn best to make her feel special.
But they would also just like to interact with her
as their mom too, not just as some out of
(37:48):
touch royalty. They would like to crack jokes, chat about
general things, and share their problems, not have to be
constantly worried what statement might tick her off.
Speaker 1 (37:57):
Yeah, when they were.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
Kids in her orbit, things are fine as she controlled them,
and that made her feel she is in the center
of attention. Now they are married and have a family
of their own, and that she is not the anchor
of the family. She has started becoming more and more
demanding that we perform some elaborate.
Speaker 4 (38:13):
Rituals to make it feel special. That's extremely exhausting.
Speaker 3 (38:17):
She's just like, okay, now bring me on the palanquin, please.
Speaker 7 (38:20):
Like doing like the Bohemian grove, like Illuminati rituals.
Speaker 3 (38:24):
She's like, now you must burn an evangy to the
toolamac owl god.
Speaker 4 (38:27):
A sacrifice a lamb and drink its blood. So to
the actual event itself.
Speaker 3 (38:35):
Mother in law and father in law have traveled to
our country and are staying with us for a short
time to help us with the kids as we all
live halfway across the globe. My wife planned an elaborate
Mother's Day event centered around mother in law, even though
she herself is a mom too. One of the plans
included lunch at a popular ethnic cuisine restaurant. By the way,
had she not planned it, had she not planned it herself,
(38:57):
there would have been a snarky comment at the end
of the day, say, seems like you don't care about
your mom enough to plan something for me. I was
waiting the whole day for you to do something. Anyway,
morning went to uneventfully as we had been pampering the
grown up toddler, and mother.
Speaker 4 (39:13):
In law was quite jubilant.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
We got to the restaurant and I and our elder
one go in to set up the table as my
wife is bringing the others mother in law, father in law,
and our little one, My two year old, the real
toddler decides to throw a tantrum for toddler reasons.
Speaker 4 (39:29):
But then mother in.
Speaker 3 (39:29):
Law sees this beautiful garden in front of the restaurant
and wants my wife to take her a pick. Mother
in law doesn't care about anything and forces my wife
to take several picks as my wife is holding a crying,
fussing and kicking toddler on her hip.
Speaker 4 (39:43):
What a whack thing to make somebody do.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
Very's very strange having past in the glory of being
the center of attention. Mother in law is satisfied enough
and they all come in, and my wife is ticked
from the events, but tries her best to be cheerful.
The waiter comes in to take the order, and right
then mother decides to go to the restroom. My wife
asks her to order before going, as the kids will
get angry if we wait for long. The big mistake
(40:08):
my wife did was asking in a normal tone, a
regular conversational tone, instead of pleading or pleasing pampering tone.
How damn my wife order her royalty on what to do?
Speaker 4 (40:19):
That was strike one.
Speaker 3 (40:20):
As me and my wife are looking at the basilian
choices and trying to order for the kids ourselves, spice level,
et cetera. We got absorbed into ordering without paying attention.
Speaker 4 (40:28):
To the most important person. Mother in law wasn't the
center of attention for two full minutes.
Speaker 3 (40:34):
How dairy that strike too? We didn't notice that and
ask her what she wants. She asks if they have
a particular ethnic dish which is a regular staple we
have almost every day at home, like a grilled cheese
that too in in a different meek tone. She was
indirectly implying that she's just nobody because of strike one
(40:54):
and two. So she's ordering some peasant food.
Speaker 7 (40:57):
I cannot stand people like this.
Speaker 4 (41:02):
It sounds infuriate.
Speaker 7 (41:03):
She's the kind of person who's like, if I feel bad,
I want everyone around me to feel bad.
Speaker 4 (41:08):
I'm a terrible day today.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (41:10):
That was our c to realize our mistake, frustrate before her,
beg her forgiveness, and bring the world back into alignment
before things go downhill. We fail to notice that change
in tone, which is strike three instead my wife's jess mom.
Speaker 4 (41:24):
We have that almost every get at home. So why
don't you? Mother in law cuts her off, saying.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
I know that.
Speaker 4 (41:30):
Are you saying I don't know that and storms off
to the restaurant.
Speaker 7 (41:34):
I'm implying it because you just asked to order it
at the restaurant.
Speaker 4 (41:38):
It's like, why don't we get why don't we drist something?
Speaker 3 (41:40):
We all are figuring out what the f happened? And oh,
there goes the phone. Oh oh, we all are figuring out.
Speaker 4 (41:49):
What the f happened, and we finish ordering.
Speaker 3 (41:51):
Mother in law comes back and unloads onto my wife
how she disrespected her.
Speaker 4 (41:56):
We brought her to this country.
Speaker 3 (41:57):
And ever since then, my wife has made it her
mission and to do nothing but continuously humiliate her.
Speaker 4 (42:03):
And mother in law starts crying.
Speaker 1 (42:05):
So I think the perfect way to deal with this
is to treat her like a.
Speaker 4 (42:07):
Toddler and just ignore her. Yeah, okay, mom, if you're
gonna have a tantrum.
Speaker 3 (42:11):
I quickly realized what ed conspired. But my innocent wife,
whose heart is only filled with love and not such
evil games, doesn't realize the drama mother in law wants. Instead,
she's trying to understand how suggesting that the dish is
a regular staple at home is humiliating, and mother in
law goes, you're implying I'm dumb and don't even know this.
Speaker 4 (42:31):
You've ruined Mother's Day.
Speaker 3 (42:33):
All daughters do special things on Mother's Day, and here
you are ruining mine and.
Speaker 4 (42:38):
A few other delectable books.
Speaker 7 (42:40):
If I could just like pop my eyes out and
roll them around, that's how hard I want to roll
my eyes right, roll those eyes I want to roll
them down a bowling house.
Speaker 4 (42:47):
This is pretty exhausting. This is probably what wife has
been going on, you know, going through her whole life.
But oh, he's just sitting there.
Speaker 7 (42:55):
And she's just been conditioned to be like, yeah, I
guess this is now, this is I have to handle
this and know he's like, so, yeah, that's the solution
is straight up ignoring.
Speaker 1 (43:04):
Yeah, don't play into.
Speaker 3 (43:05):
This, my wife says, again and again, that's just a
regular thing to say to your mom. But mother in
law is adamant that my wife humiliated to her by
implying she's dumb but not knowing it's a staple dish
we regularly eat at home. And well, now I'm not
entirely convinced that you did know that, because you've really been.
Speaker 4 (43:23):
Honing in on the fact that you know, Oh, I'm
not dumb. I know this.
Speaker 1 (43:26):
I'm not dumb, and I know the thing that you said.
Speaker 4 (43:28):
It feels like it feels like you might not have known.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
Yes, I know, we eat that.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
He didn't protest too much and storms off to sit outside. Seriously,
that was the entire discussion for a full five minutes.
It was extremely bizarre to see a sixty year old
woman throw a tantrum and accuse her daughter because she said.
Speaker 4 (43:46):
It's a regular staple we had to eat at home.
Speaker 3 (43:49):
Normally, we'd run after her, apologize and beg her to
come back and keep apologizing throughout the lunch, which is
what she wanted after three strikes. But this time we
were so over to this. Bs been through similar ones
many times. We just sat and ate in piece without
an extra side of trauma. But my wife was heartbroken.
She does all this planning, wanting to be a good daughter,
(44:11):
wanted her mom to feel special, and in the end
has ruined mother's day by talking to her mom as
a mom.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
And knows his royalty.
Speaker 3 (44:19):
So a sixty year old woman started crying in the
middle of lunch rush in a popular restaurant, all because
we didn't give her attention for five minutes while we
were busy ordering food for kids. There are hundreds of
such stories, but this one is the clearest. Wtf that happened?
Speaker 4 (44:35):
And edit?
Speaker 3 (44:37):
My wife is a very sweet person who believes there
is goodness in everyone. She's been annoyed by mother in
law's behavior and had been tipping around at this point,
which I was actually surprised by, but being the good
natured person she is, she has decided that she will
continue to make her mom happy, whether that actually makes
her mom happy or not.
Speaker 1 (44:55):
Hey, it's John here, og host of the show. We're
going to get back to these juicy stories. But here's
a quick three minutes of ads from our sponsor.
Speaker 4 (45:00):
But there is a little bit left of the story.
Do any final thoughts.
Speaker 7 (45:03):
Therapy, therapy, therapy, everybody needs therapy.
Speaker 4 (45:07):
Da da da da da Yeah.
Speaker 1 (45:09):
Crazy.
Speaker 4 (45:09):
That sentence was crazy.
Speaker 1 (45:11):
What they said, like they find goodness to like everyone.
Speaker 4 (45:14):
What do they look Skywalker, You're like, Oh, they're still
good in him, They're still good.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
Like mom needs she's still.
Speaker 4 (45:20):
Good cloth therapy.
Speaker 3 (45:22):
Elpi's wife honestly needs therapy to handle her mom, and.
Speaker 4 (45:25):
She would probably be more receptive to it.
Speaker 7 (45:27):
I doubt that Mom's gonna go do anything because even
implying the mom needs therape, we should be like, you
should be saying that crazy, yeah, mom, that's not a
normal reaction.
Speaker 4 (45:39):
But there is a little bit left to the story.
Speaker 3 (45:40):
She wants to be a good daughter and believes it's
her duty to do that therapy. She will continue to
roll the boulder uphill every day, whether it reaches the
top or not a therapy, we know that it never
will Sisyphis. It's her mom and she believes that is
the right thing to do, so I'm fine with it.
I will not try to change that because thirty or
forty years later, when she looks back, she will not
remember what her mom did to her. All she will
(46:02):
remember is what she did in response, and she tried
her best to be.
Speaker 4 (46:05):
A good daughter, and I believe that will give her peace.
Speaker 3 (46:08):
Comments coming on, I think that even though your wife
did put a lot of effort into that lunch, I
think your mother in law just wanted an excuse just
to get her way and basically make herself feel better
by putting your sister in law and wife down just
for her amusement. I think that it's not only just
trying to make her feel better, but I think it's
more like she enjoys the attention and enjoys people pampering her.
(46:30):
I hate to say it, there's going to have to
be a come to Jesus moment with both sister in
law and your wife because she's probably going to say
something or do something that's going to be a powder
keg and then all el's going to break loose the nearest. Uh,
not just going to be afraid it's going to be
a massacre. Opie says, this is just one hundred percent true.
It's as if you live with us. My sister in
(46:51):
law has been the black sheep since she was young,
so she doesn't give mother in law much attention and
puts her down off. Sometimes it gets so bad that
they won't talk to each other for a week while
being together in a small two bedroom apartment. But then again,
we are Asian and have a close relationship with her parents.
It's not easy to give up on your mom. Sister
in law and mother in law have this relationship like
two people who love and hate each other and break
(47:13):
up and get together every few weeks. My wife was
the doting child, so it's hard for her to give
up on mother in law. She isn't looking for approval
for mother in law at least not anymore. But you
genuinely wants her mom to be happy, and we'll keep
trying forever. I don't think my wife will ever have
a come to Jesus moment. You will just keep trying
to make her happy as long as both of them
are alive. Pretty sure my wife will continue to even
(47:35):
after mother in law passes away.
Speaker 7 (47:37):
Which is why we need therapy therapy.
Speaker 4 (47:42):
Saying it like a Pokemon.
Speaker 3 (47:43):
Therapy, Opie replies true, or another replies sorry, true. Words
of wisdom right here. You can't fix it because it's
not actually broken. It's exactly what mother in law wants.
Speaker 4 (47:54):
And that is the end of that story. But yeah,
be big time.
Speaker 7 (48:01):
I'm just thinking of all the moves if therapy was
a Pokemon, the moves that it would use.
Speaker 6 (48:06):
I choose therapy, I choose therapy, use communication, therapy, used
chamber of reflection.
Speaker 7 (48:12):
It's super effective therapy, you self control. Opposing Pokemon is
now confused. Yeah, what's the what's the evolution of therapy therapy,
couples therapy, the therapist therapy is Oh, that's a final evolution.
Oh no, yeah no, all right, let's continue. Yeah yeah,
all right, yep, you be working on it.
Speaker 3 (48:33):
But that's the end of that episode. So if you
love us, make sure to subscribe.
Speaker 4 (48:38):
We love you and see you tomorrow.
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