My mother-in-law has been controlling our lives for so long…I can’t take it anymore! | Reddit Stories - ok storytime

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Dearest John, It's been a fortnight since I felt your
warm embrace.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Dear Sam, such it has since we started the Okay
story Tom podcast.

Speaker 3 (00:07):
Yes, and I have a message for you, a delicious
story that I think you'll love.

Speaker 4 (00:12):
Sincerely Sam.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
But before that, thine, divine two minute outbreak must happen,
I bid thee farewell.

Speaker 4 (00:17):
See you in two minutes.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
My mother in law has been controlling our lives for
so long I can't take it anymore.

Speaker 4 (00:25):
I don't want to do this anymore.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
Grandpa, that's too dame back. This will be a lot,
so bear with me, and thank you to anyone who
reads this. Possible trigger warning mentions of family friends, self harm.
Mother in law is a super controlling, manipulative, and self
absorbed person, especially when she doesn't.

Speaker 4 (00:42):
Get her way.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
Ray.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
Here is a snapshot of a few issues we've had
leading up to this most recent one. By the way,
this comes from user tie Accomplished fifteen oh five, and
if you want usubmit your own stories, go to the
r slash Okay storytime subreddit. So when husband graduated from college,
he was offered a job in another state. Mother in
law and sister in law cornered me at one point
and accused me of taking their son and brother away

(01:05):
from them. After we moved, we eloped because I needed
to be able to be on his health benefits due
to some medical things I had going on. We already
have a small wedding planned for that next year at
his parents' house. Mother in law did not like the
fact that we got married and told husband that I
was not allowed to change my last name or tell
anyone that.

Speaker 1 (01:23):
We were married.

Speaker 4 (01:23):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:24):
I flew back a few months before the wedding to
finish getting everything settled. Husband and I had everything planned
out just as we wanted, and we flew back for
the wedding. Mother in law literally changed everything about the wedding.
We wanted a small, intimate wedding country theme with hay
bales and shepherd hooks. Was just very low key. We
wanted to do a run through of the day, but
she refused to do that. She refused to let my

(01:44):
mom come and help. My little brother was the ring bearer,
and she kept making comments about how he was the
only thing that would not be perfect about the wedding.
This is you just remove her. It's that you just
remove her from her duties. Stop listening to her. Do
not give her permission to change everything about your wedding.
Husband and her ended up getting into a huge fight
once we found out that she had changed everything. We

(02:05):
found out that she talks trash about me behind my
back to everyone. We ended up moving back home and
I got pregnant. First thing mother in law said to
us was to let her know what her boundaries are.
Of course, anytime we have done that, it's caused problems.
My in laws are very wealthy. They went in with
some family friends and bought a large amount of property
and are building a subdivision. The family friends unfortunately lost

(02:27):
their daughters seven years ago to self harm. So our
naming their part of the subdivision after her. Mother in
law decided to name their part of the subdivision after
was l Oh Lost Late Owens l O Luke Olson
Low order this I did decided to name their part
of the subdivision after lo O without our permission. Little

(02:49):
little one, little oyster.

Speaker 4 (02:51):
Do they have a kid? Is that little one? Low
Low's loved one, loved one. I don't know. It's a
little one. Amanda Parrilla yedle one.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
I got there, I got there, I loved it there
al Bamaso little brother bear I got Air Albamaso. After
her husband and I discussed this, we decided it made
us uncomfortable, especially since the other part was being named
as memorial for a young girl who committed a self
harmed Husband called mother in law to let her know,
and she got all pissed off and hung up on it.

(03:19):
Fast forward to when the little one was born a
few days before Thanksgiving. Mother in law was kind enough
to watch our dogs for us all right, even though
I wanted a week to adjust being home before having
people over. We allowed mother in law to come over
on Thanksgiving to bring the dogs back. Over the next month,
she came over twice a week. Mother in law would
bring food to us, which was super nice of her.

(03:39):
I told husband that it was getting to be too
much for me having her over so much. I wanted
time to myself to figure out being a new mom
and establish a routine. She would also come over and
try to tell us how to parent.

Speaker 4 (03:50):
There was a day where both our families came over.

Speaker 2 (03:52):
My family had already arranged to be over that day,
but then his parents stopped by as well. It was
too much for the baby to be passed around all
day and she was really over stimulated. After that, we
set a boundary that we were limiting the number of
people that came over in a day.

Speaker 4 (04:07):
Nice, what would you put your limited was feeling this
way if you had a little baby, little tiny little
RJ Riley Junior. I don't know whatever felt right. I
know maybe like three people with three couples, six people.
No one gets to see my three families.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
I'm keeping my child sealed away until it's perfect. Fast
forward to Christmas. My mom, niece and I had made
plans a week before to do some baking on Christmas Eve.
The day before, mother in law called me and said
she was going to be coming over tomorrow to see
the baby and bring gifts and baked goods. I started
to tell her that my mom was going to be over,
and she interrupted me and said.

Speaker 4 (04:45):
Oh, so, if your mom is so for, I'm not welcome.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
I said that's not what I said, and proceeded to
tell her what we'd talk to the doctor about and
some of the health concerns we were trying to figure
out with the baby.

Speaker 4 (04:56):
She then said fine, I'll just call my son bye
and hung up on me.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
She then texted her son my husband. Their exchange is
below to give a clear picture. I took out names
for privacy and just put name a few things to clarify.
His parents live an hour from us, but his brother
lives across the street and has only seen the baby once,
when she was a week old. We've asked two things
of everyone. One no social media pictures and two let
us know ahead of time if you want to see

(05:21):
the baby.

Speaker 4 (05:21):
Okay, these seem reasonable. These seem fair, pretty reasonable.

Speaker 5 (05:24):
I would like to see the baby.

Speaker 4 (05:26):
I would like to see the baby.

Speaker 2 (05:28):
When this happened, my family had only seen the baby once.
Mother in law had been.

Speaker 4 (05:32):
Over eight times. She drove, like that is sixteen hours
within how long? Sixteen hours? She lives an hour away.
She came and saw eight times. That's sixteen hours of drive.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
Yeah, but like separated, like not a lot once.

Speaker 4 (05:47):
Yeah. That's when I'm asking how long this is? Two
week gaps? Is a week gap? A month? I think
that's the entire time the baby's been alive. Well, how
long which at this point is like a month two
months after I was it was born?

Speaker 2 (05:58):
Well, it was born before Thanksgiving. This is coming up
on Christmas. Mother in law, Good morning, son.

Speaker 6 (06:03):
I was going to run down early in the morning
and drop off a Christmas gift for you and some
baked goods. Who was told I cannot do that because
Name is going to be at your house baking pies
with Name. So I want to wish you a merry
Christmas and tell you I love you, and I guess
I'll see.

Speaker 4 (06:15):
You some other time.

Speaker 2 (06:15):
Husband, Good morning. Yeah, we're limiting visits to one person
and family per day. Last week turned into a nightmare
for a couple of days with Name when a bunch
of people came over in one day. You guys are
more than welcome to come down on Sunday or Monday.
Just let us know so we can plan to limit
it to just you guys that day. Merry Christmas, and
I love you too.

Speaker 4 (06:32):
Mother in law.

Speaker 1 (06:33):
It's just unbelievable to me.

Speaker 4 (06:35):
Girl, Who are you? Oscar the Grouch? Mmm?

Speaker 2 (06:39):
Living in the trash?

Speaker 4 (06:40):
Can your own design? Dude?

Speaker 2 (06:42):
This is just unbelievable to me. We already knew we
could not see you or her for Christmas, and nobody
communicated to us that there is a new set of
rules that now require us to schedule our visits independent
of everyone else. We'll never get to see her because
name's family. We have the advantage of living locally and
not working be conveniently there to be told that I
can't stop by drop off Christmas presents on the morning

(07:05):
of Christmas Eve. On the morning of Christmas Eve. Christmas
Eve morning, just say Christmas Eve and see the baby
for a few minutes after driving one hundred and thirty
miles around trip just blows me away.

Speaker 4 (07:17):
Well, that's why you text ahead of time. While you
text people, you're like, Hey, this is what I'm gonna do. Yeah,
you just make plans. Yeah?

Speaker 2 (07:23):
How many times has she been over? She can't compromise
and coordinate her schedule with me? My thirty minute visit
is not what's harmful to the baby. It's much bigger
than that. And I'm not stupid. The message being sent
is loud and clear and deeply hurtful. We have other
obligations on Sunday, and we work on my Oh my,
does this woman ever stop yapping? I can relate, so,
oh brother, I feel like I got away with mine.

Speaker 4 (07:45):
Don't know if you're gonna get away with yours.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
We have other obligations on Sunday, and we work on Monday,
so the alternative times you gave me will not work.
As far as the baby's gifts, it's just some first
Christmas things like a memorabilia infant blanket and burping bibs
and it blah blah blah blah.

Speaker 4 (08:00):
So meeting after.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
Christmas defeats the purpose and takes away the fun.

Speaker 4 (08:03):
I don't know a name. I wasn't raised this way.

Speaker 2 (08:06):
You weren't raised this way, and we've certainly brought several
babies into our families. In fact, I don't personally know
if anyone who has experienced such one sided arms length
control that's being imposed on us. Oh my god, go
write the Magna carta or whatever. This is your four
paragraphs in just saying, come next week, the baby's gonna
get over stimulated.

Speaker 4 (08:27):
You wench, just skill heads up and if you're so
chill and like actually a good mother in law, the
probably wouldn't care. But you bring this, have you wait
with you every time you visit, and they want to
they want to make sure the weather is nice for
the baby for the first couple of months. It's alive.

Speaker 2 (08:43):
I feel defeated, hurt, and angry. I seriously don't understand
I digress. You've been digressing the whole time, lady. Moving forward,
we will quietly wait for an invitation to see you
and our granddaughter and see if our schedules can coordinate
with the proposed time slot allotted to us. This is
not our choice or what we want, so please, it's not.
So please make sure we are not wrongfully accused of

(09:05):
not wanting to see the baby or being involved in
her life. We are doing our best to adapt without
taking it personally, and right now that's and not working
so well. If my eyes could roll into the back
of my head, I'd do it right now.

Speaker 4 (09:17):
Do it.

Speaker 5 (09:18):
I can't try, they can't.

Speaker 2 (09:19):
Uh, okay, husband, it is reasonable to ask if someone
has plans on a certain day before visiting, and to
plan for something more than the day before, just like
you have plans on Sunday, and just like a sensible
client would ask you to show a house.

Speaker 4 (09:33):
This isn't a new rule, it's common courtesy.

Speaker 2 (09:35):
I'm going to stop you right there on insinuating that
you're being treated differently. Ope's family is being held to
the same expectation, and I've had to have the same
conversation that she had with you with them, but they
had a drastically different response.

Speaker 4 (09:48):
You were the.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
First to see her, and you have seen her more
than anyone else, so take a step back and quit
making assumptions. The decision to limit visitors to one person
or family a day was my decision, and I'm not
asking for permission or approval of my parenting. There's a
fine line that's being tiptoed in your message implying that
it's Op's fault.

Speaker 4 (10:06):
It's not.

Speaker 2 (10:07):
I'm home every Friday and would have told you the
same thing she did if you had called me yesterday,
because everybody is being held to the same expectations of
planning more than a day ahead. The message is to
have people plan their visits so that when they are here,
it's just them and the baby, and to minimize exposure
to multiple people in a short timeframe, per the doctor's direction.

Speaker 4 (10:27):
I'm sorry you.

Speaker 2 (10:27):
Feel this way, but I'm not going to enable outbursts
like this when all that could have been solved with
a simple conversation last week. I'm not going to dictate
the level of involvement people have in the baby's life
by coordinating invitations. If you want to see her, reach
out to me more than a day ahead to set
up a time to come by and respect other people's
time with her.

Speaker 4 (10:47):
So imagine you just said all that to a wall. Yeah,
I would. I imagine that's about as effective as that's
going to be. We have a response right here, noted? Okay,
if it was noted, you would make more than just
one word, you would. You would bullet point like what
they said.

Speaker 2 (11:02):
Okay, I wasn't coming down to hang out or interrupt
prescheduled plans. I was simply dropping off Christmas presents and
goodies and leaving. Yeah freaking has that ever happened in
the history of humanity? Where someone brings Christmas gifts for
the newborn that's like the mother in law and is like,
all right, I'm gonna leave now. Yeah right, you can
say that it's real convenient.

Speaker 4 (11:19):
Actually did happen?

Speaker 1 (11:21):
No?

Speaker 4 (11:21):
Or one baby? And it was it was three guys?
What Yeah, so this one.

Speaker 2 (11:25):
They definitely hung out. They definitely hung out, you know,
they hung out.

Speaker 4 (11:29):
So there was this one baby, they had the franking
sense in number, and then they had the one more
thing what was it? Frank And since myr gold gold,
I think they gave Jesus the bling. I actually don't
quote me on that. Apparently he was like two when
that happened. He wasn't a newborn, he was like two
years old. Really Yeah, that's the theory seems pretty fishy.

Speaker 2 (11:46):
Uh. I could not stay, nor did I ask to stay.
I was doing a drop off. That's it, a drop off.
I wanted to be gone from g J by nine am.
The heck is gjuh great jolly good?

Speaker 4 (12:02):
I don't know GJ was mentioned early. I was right
it was gold. Yeah, I was right. I got the
blink three k. Anyways, back to the story, back on,
we're getting back on track. We don't know what ja
GJ is, so we're gonna pretend like we know great Junipus.
I wanted to be gone from GJ by nine am,
which most likely was before name arrived or the pie

(12:24):
baking began. And I would say what that name was
supposed to be, but I honestly cannot tell because there's
so many different people with their name removed. My intent
wasn't to intrude on their mother daughter time. I only
wanted to take a mere few minutes to give you
your gifts and goodies. Get a hug from my son,
sneak a peek at the baby, and get on the road.
My call was a courtesy call that I was going
to be in town early and wanted to drop off

(12:45):
presents and leave. It wasn't a last minute call to
expect everyone to change their plans, and it wasn't a
last minute call to hang out. It would have been
easier if I was told to leave the presence and
goodies outside your door than to be told I wasn't
allowed at your home to drop off presents. No matter
how you put it, that's just ft up. You've made
your point, your house, your rules, regardless of however changing
they are. I promise you I won't put myself in
this hurtful situation again. It would be nice, though, if

(13:08):
you revisited what harm it would have been for me
to drop off the presence early this morning while I
was swinging through town on other business.

Speaker 2 (13:15):
Mind you, without any intention of staying, quick in, quick
out to leave the presence? How is that disrespectful? And
for the record, God, we're still adding to the record
still this.

Speaker 5 (13:24):
Records are made to be broken. Records are made to
be broken.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
She's breaking a record.

Speaker 4 (13:28):
Typists like hands have like blisters on them. I got
blisters on my fingers.

Speaker 2 (13:34):
Stop and for the record, feel free to visit our
home any time of day, any day of the week,
unannounced or scheduled, as you will always be welcome with
love and open arms. Yeah, shut up, lady, because you
don't have a newborn baby.

Speaker 4 (13:48):
Ooh you had one that it got older and had
a newborn. Stop trying to throw it like, I would
never do this to you.

Speaker 5 (13:55):
Uh gj is Grand Junction.

Speaker 4 (13:57):
That's what I love, The Grand Junction. Manjunction in Colorado.
No dang, it's a bowling place.

Speaker 1 (14:03):
Doxed.

Speaker 2 (14:04):
After this, they had texted and arranged to come see
the baby a few weeks later. During this time, husband
and his mom had spoken a few times. Husband got
the VID and she flipped again because he didn't tell
her he had it. She then sent me this somebody
told me that you have the VID. I'm so sorry
to hear that, and I will pray for your healing.
I have it too and am feeling pretty rough. It's

(14:26):
times like these that make us remember the brevity of life.
I personally lost four friends in the past three months
who in a matter of hours ended up in the
hospital and event later and passed away a few days later.
Unbelievable and shocking. One of our friends is still in
Denver on life support with failed kidneys. He was a
healthy athlete who sadly caught the VID. My point is,
we're not promised tomorrow, so let me see your kid,
so we shouldn't live like it and leave important things unsaid.

(14:46):
I don't want to make you any more angry than
you already are, or retreat further than you already have.
But if tomorrow doesn't come for me, then at least
I did not leave this unsaid. It feels like you've
cut me out of your life.

Speaker 4 (14:56):
Now.

Speaker 2 (14:56):
Mind you, this is just two weeks later.

Speaker 4 (14:59):
This is not too years later. This is not ten
years later.

Speaker 2 (15:02):
This is fourteen days in the future.

Speaker 4 (15:04):
But in baby years as like eternity. I don't know, dude,
seeing a two week old go to a two months old,
You've missed so much hate. My brother is taller than
my mother. It's not her kid, and he's twelve. I
miss like ten years of his life. I missed two.
But point guard, he's probably gonna be center. Really, I'm
I'm gonna be the shortest in the family that big. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (15:25):
Uh, it feels like you cut me out of your
life and uh Op's life or no, probably the baby's life,
which has pretty much destroyed me. But you knew it would,
That's no secret. I'm a good mom, I've always been
a good mom, and I deeply, unconditionally love you. I
still don't understand how or why you are treating me
this way. Husband says, I will be praying for your

(15:46):
healing too. It's definitely a scary thing, but thankfully the
data on the new strains promising is not his life threatening.
Of course, I'm angry and hurt. I set a boundary
with an immediate compromise for another day and was met
with backlash about my choice and accusations based on assumptions
towards Op and her family which weren't true. I made
my point and was met with more questioning of my decisions.

(16:09):
But I'm not going to argue and justify my parenting
decisions to anyone, nor am I going to allow anyone
to talk to me like that.

Speaker 4 (16:15):
Let's go.

Speaker 2 (16:16):
It just got worse from there when who was in
the hospital who it just says, simp, I want to say, Op,
it just got worse from there. When op was in
the hospital, I was keeping everyone in the loop as
I received more information, and then you send a message
to our group asking if I received your Voicemailich painted
me to look like a horrible person. I've not cut
you out, but I'm definitely distant because I'm sick of
the manipulation when you don't.

Speaker 4 (16:37):
Get your way. You are a great mom.

Speaker 2 (16:39):
But you need to step back and respect the boundaries
I'm setting and allow me to be a parent. I
do think about you and miss you and love you.
I often think about how all of this could have
been avoided.

Speaker 4 (16:48):
Dude, this guy, this is textbook how to respond to anyone.
I bet this guy's emails or is no issues at work.
This is so clear communication Grade A, grade E a number.

Speaker 2 (17:00):
One song extent A for absolutely stunning mother in law.
Thank you for taking the time to give me a
snapshot of how you see things.

Speaker 4 (17:08):
I don't feel like it's so condescending. It's like, I'm
sorry you feel that way. Yeah, it's like a version
of that. Thanks for your snapshot of your emotional window.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
Okay, I appreciate the fact you communicated in a candid
and brutally blunt manner. I'd like permission to share my
side in the same blunt and candid manner. Let me
know when you are ready to move forward, and then
I would never speak to you again because I'm just like,
you're so difficult.

Speaker 4 (17:31):
I don't care. You're just upset someone told you to know.

Speaker 2 (17:34):
Truly, all of this, all all of these paragraphs have
just been come from one person being like, no, come
next week, it's crazy.

Speaker 4 (17:40):
Husband replies.

Speaker 2 (17:41):
All this revolves around me holding everyone accountable to the
same boundaries with the baby. But I'm not going to
put it up for discussion. Enough damage has been done
and that'll just.

Speaker 4 (17:49):
Make it worse.

Speaker 2 (17:50):
During all this, they have not tried to see the
baby and blew off the one time that they had
arranged to see her. Mother in law has turned husband's
whole family against him. Husband's aunt and uncle were in
town a few weeks ago, and no one told him
he hasn't seen them in six years. They're also going
to events as a family without him and posting it
all over social media.

Speaker 4 (18:08):
What a bunch of winners they are.

Speaker 2 (18:10):
It's now been twelve weeks since this started and the
last time they have seen her. Things are just getting worse.
Father in law came down at one point try to
work things out and ended up just placing blame on
husband and telling him he needed to call mother in
law and work things out. Since mother in law won't.
Husband has tried to open the door a few times
to move forward, but all mother in law cares about
is telling her side of the story and trying to

(18:30):
control how we parent our child. I know she is
completely gas lighting us and making a second guess. All
of this started because we had plans one day when
she wanted to come over. We do have an update here.

Speaker 4 (18:41):
Please go low contact with this lady.

Speaker 5 (18:44):
Yeah, it's she's it's yeah, she's not getting the point.

Speaker 4 (18:47):
She isn't and she's not respecting any of her boundaries.

Speaker 2 (18:49):
Yeah, she's just feeling like, well that was mean? Can
I be mean back? And it's like, I'm not even
being mean, I'm just telling you what happened.

Speaker 4 (18:57):
It just it just drains me when I have to
deal with people like this. Update.

Speaker 2 (19:00):
We had not heard from his mom since this until tonight.
Dear Husband's aunt and uncle are coming into town from out.

Speaker 4 (19:06):
Of state in a few weeks.

Speaker 2 (19:08):
His aunt texted the other day to let him know,
so we were thinking we could meet them for breakfast
and they could meet my baby. Tonight, Husband receives a
group text from his mom letting him and his brothers
know that they are having lunch one of the days
at their house, which is an hour and a half
away from where we live. This is the first time
husband has received any communication since January twenty seven. His

(19:30):
mother has caused problems on numerous occasions over the past
seven years we have been together. This most recent situation
was my tipping point and I've had enough. I wouldn't
let anyone else treat me the way I've allowed his
family to treat me. I also don't want my daughter
exposed to that. His family is all super passive, aggressive,
and I know they will make sideways comments if I go.
Anytime we have been at their house, they are all

(19:51):
talking crap about someone. That's just the type of people
they are. They're just rude and mean. His mother will
also try to play the victim in this whole situation,
like she's constant done in all of the text messages,
which I she has told everyone that we will cut
her out and are keeping my baby from her, which

(20:12):
is not true. We had plans back in February for
them to see her and they blew it off. We're
not going to reach out and beg people to be
in my baby's life. If they want to see her,
they can reach out. If they cared about her at all,
or if she were a priority to them, they would
be involved in her life. It is pretty simple. All
we ask is that they give us a heads up
so we can plan to limit the number of people

(20:34):
the baby is around at one time, and to make
sure we don't have any other plans. As mentioned in
my other posts, his brother lives across the street from
us and hasn't seen her since she was a week old.
Even though his parents live an hour and a half away.
They have come to town on several different occasions that
we know of, and haven't tried to see her. The
reason we know that is because they posted pictures on Facebook.

Speaker 4 (20:54):
What they want is for.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
Husband to apologize to his mom, even though we did
nothing wrong. Unless we bow to her and let her
control our lives, there will always be problems, especially when
she doesn't get her way. All we have asked for
is an apology from her so we can move forward.
But all she cares about is being right? Wonder why,
oh my god, one of these feels like she's been
slighted now she needs justice, when really all she should

(21:16):
care about is that you're her family and you have
a new baby, and she should just respect your boundaries.

Speaker 4 (21:24):
His parents, she can't because it's crazy.

Speaker 2 (21:26):
I do not want to go and sit in a
house where it's been made perfectly clear how they really
feel about me and my family.

Speaker 4 (21:35):
I also don't want my four month.

Speaker 2 (21:36):
Old passed around between at least ten different people, most
of whom she has never met. Well, you know, when
you're four months old, you haven't met most people, so
it was jokeing.

Speaker 4 (21:44):
I digress the.

Speaker 2 (21:45):
Few that she has met she had. Don't give me
your fake stand up comedy laugh? Right, guy here, did
you know that wasn't real?

Speaker 1 (21:52):
Was it?

Speaker 4 (21:53):
Will never know? You're so good at that. I'm a
good actor. He actually should get into acting. He's a
pretty good laughing.

Speaker 2 (21:59):
My baby gets super over stimulated really easily. She's also
in that stranger danger phase where she starts crying around
people she doesn't know. His mom is super domineering, and
I know the instant I walk in the door, she
will take my baby from me. I also know that
if I say something, I'll be attacked. His mother has
made these past four months absolutely miserable. It's not only

(22:19):
worn on me, but on husband as well. His whole
family has turned against him and has wanted nothing to
do with us until now, and it's only so she
can put on a show for her sister. I am
super uncomfortable going to his parents' house with my baby,
and the thought of going is causing me a ton
of anxiety and giving me panic attacks. I've struggled a
bit with postpardon impression and post part of anxiety since
having my baby four months ago, and this whole situation

(22:41):
has not helped. I of course want to see husband's
aunt and uncle and want them to meet my baby,
but I feel like the best situation to do this
is to meet them for breakfast.

Speaker 4 (22:51):
Am I in the wrong for not wanting to go?

Speaker 2 (22:53):
I feel like it's a lose lose situation. Up a date,
the number two since last April.

Speaker 4 (22:59):
Here is the date.

Speaker 2 (23:00):
I went against my better judgment and went to a
husband's parents' house last April to see his aunts and
uncle who were in town, and it went as expected.
I took the advice I got from a lot of
you and wore my baby, who was four months old
at that point. What maybe like it's like you wore
like you wore them like it was like a baby,
like a papoose of some kind, some kind of baby satchel.

Speaker 4 (23:21):
Maybe what they did, or like.

Speaker 2 (23:22):
They wore them out so that they'd be like napping.

Speaker 4 (23:25):
Yeah, maybe, dude, this is a really bad time to
have a typo ope. I'm gonna be personally.

Speaker 1 (23:30):
I like that.

Speaker 2 (23:30):
It's she's wearing the baby so that no one can
take the baby away because it's.

Speaker 4 (23:33):
A I can't even imagine that. I don't want to. Yeah,
like a harness. You've never seen people walking around with
a baby on them, I'll do. My dad love doing
that with my little brother. Yeah, and he got so
mad whenever they were like too big to do that
because he's like a giant. Okay, you guys have got
more yoked. He really did. You guys ever play plants
for zombies? Knew that one, and that's like super big

(23:55):
baby born. Yeah, it's super big and he has a
baby on the back of him. That's what my dad
looked like. He was like a big bar like zombie
with a little guy on top throwing stone. He's like, right, yep, yep,
that was my dad.

Speaker 2 (24:07):
During the actual visit, things were awkward and uncomfortable, but
not horrible. I did let my mother in law and
father in law both hold my baby when we were alone.
I was really pressured into it by husband's aunt, but whatever.

Speaker 4 (24:18):
I allowed it.

Speaker 2 (24:19):
Before we left, they asked if they could get some pictures.
Husband said sure, but I was going to still wear
my baby and not let everyone pass her around. Okay,
so it was my theory. After we went home is
when things got ridiculous. Found out from my brother in
law that my mother in law was telling everyone that
I didn't let her hold my baby, which was a lie.
They also cut me out of the pictures they took
fast forward. We didn't talk to his parents again until September.

(24:41):
There was still attempts on mother in law's part. She
kept sending stuff in the mail and texting husband. He
kept telling her that we would move forward once we
received an apology.

Speaker 4 (24:49):
Mmm, good luck with that.

Speaker 2 (24:51):
Come September, brother in law reached out and said he
wanted to come over to talk with us about the
whole situation and he did. All he was doing was
being her flying monkey. He came with all the texts
printed out between dear husband and mother in law and
a husband and father in law and me and both
of them. It wasn't many since I wasn't having much contact.
He also came with screenshots of my Facebook mother in

(25:11):
law had deleted husband, myself, and my entire family from Facebook.

Speaker 4 (25:15):
I just had to pause.

Speaker 2 (25:16):
Really quickly to like, just again, if someone is this difficult,
just don't bother. I don't care if they're your mother
in law, and you shouldn't either. This is a person
who is gonna do nothing but just drag going here.

Speaker 4 (25:30):
I don't know my thought process. They are dragon, this
is an energy vampire. Family's family. It's hard to deal
with certain family members. It's these like this one is
the hardest.

Speaker 2 (25:40):
Seems like final boss, dude. If it's me, I'm like, yeah,
no talkie until apology and then we'll see.

Speaker 4 (25:48):
Yeah, it's tough. It's tough situation. I hopefully will never
be in this, hopefully.

Speaker 2 (25:52):
Shortly after she blocked my whole family, I did the
same thing to the rest of my in laws because
it was hurtful seeing all the posts they were making
brother in law through a fit and claim that I
restricted them all from Facebook, and I told him no,
I actually deleted you all. He kept calling me a
liar until I showed him my Facebook. And don't understand
why it was okay for mother in law to do it,
but I was out of line when I did it,
because mother in law can't do anything wrong. Brother in

(26:13):
law did apologize for not being there for us and
not being a part of the baby's life for the
past eleven months. He said he didn't know how to
handle the situation whatever. At one point he told husband
that he was acting just like his biological father, who
was an abusive and violent man, which really hurt my husband,
which happened to a brother in law he done. Long

(26:33):
story short, We just told brother in law that all
we wanted was an apology. He said mother in law
didn't even know what she needed to apologize for, which
we said, yeah, that's a problem, and first of all,
that's probably just a lie. Yep, she is exactly what
she would need to apologize for.

Speaker 4 (26:48):
Because she's not gonna do it. I'm on your side now,
I'm off this boat. We are putting the anchor down
we're done. I'm swimming away.

Speaker 2 (26:56):
Yeah, nothing is left to be said until we receive
an apology. A few hours after brother in law left,
husband and I got a group text from mother in
law saying, after talking to brother in law, I now
know what I'm supposed to apologize for. It was total bs.
After that, Husband texted back and set up a time
for us to go to their house and talk everything through.
After a lot of thought, I decided not to go,

(27:17):
and Husband went by himself. He was there for about
five hours. From what he said, his mom was super
apologetic and was crying disrepeatedly saying how sorry she was.
There were a few things he mentioned that she said
that were red flags to me, and I instantly had
this gut feeling that he was just manipulated, such as
still shifting the blame to me. And boy was I right? Unfortunately, Yeah,

(27:37):
because all those are just faked tears, gaslighting, and manipulating
my child.

Speaker 4 (27:42):
Eh, your mom is so sorry.

Speaker 2 (27:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (27:46):
I would be having a conversation with hubby pretty soon.
Where's the line? Yeah, this is a line. I don't
know what their home life is like. Maybe dear husband
is handling this very well. I'll be asking where's the
line with this all? I don't want this to be
the heavy vibes to be seeming through underneath the door
cracks of her home. We gotta get it out, yes please.

Speaker 2 (28:05):
I agreed to let mother in law and father in
law come to our house during the baby's nap so
the four of us could talk. A few weeks after that,
I spent time writing up what I wanted to say
so I could cover everything I needed to. As typical
of anytime I brought up something she did or said,
she deflected, played victim and shifted the blame back onto me.
She was rude, mean and aggressive towards me.

Speaker 4 (28:24):
And really quick pause, because not every a.

Speaker 2 (28:26):
Person with stic personality disorder is like a crazy, toxic monster.
It's just like a behavioral pattern that can manifest those
kind of behaviors. We just wanted to say before anyone
thinks I'm just like a hater of all people who are,
it's not the case. It's actually really misunderstood in a
lot of ways. The silver lining was that husband was
there to witness all of it. At the end of

(28:46):
the talk, I threw my hands up and she said
she wasn't going to apologize when she didn't do anything wrong.
There it is there it is, she didn't do anything wrong.
My father in law spoke up and said we can
agree to disagree, and we decided to try to take
a step forward and start light communication with them again.
The people pleaser in me will be the end of me.
This conversation happened in October and I left not feeling

(29:08):
any real resolve, but again hoped things would at least
be civil for the baby and husband. It wasn't even
three weeks later when the bs started up again. Mother
in law started using brother in law even more as
her flying monkey, and he was calling quite a bit,
trying to manipulate and guilt trip my husband. Mother in
law's behaviors did change, but they became more passive, aggressive,
and happened behind the scenes more often when it came

(29:28):
to them seeing the baby. Since Halloween of twenty twenty two,
they have seen her four times, all of which I
initiated and invited them to a trunk or treat a
few days before Christmas, swimming at the end of January,
and an Easter egg drop in April. They never want
anything to do with her unless it's convenient for them,
or they can use the baby to make themselves look good.
Mother in law is one of those social media gramdmas.

(29:50):
They have asked a few times in between to see her,
but it was always for events that were not appropriate
for a child, things that we weren't comfortable with, or
last minute asks. For example, they asked us to bring
the baby to a hunting banquet so they could show
her off.

Speaker 4 (30:04):
What. Okay, now I know where you live and I
have seen this happen before, this whole situation.

Speaker 5 (30:11):
You want to give us like a like a little
They're definitely.

Speaker 4 (30:14):
From Georgia, South Carolina, Virginia or Kentucky.

Speaker 5 (30:17):
What is a hunting banquet?

Speaker 4 (30:18):
Hunting banquet, I'm just gonna put it out there. Never
heard of it, but it's probably like where all these
guys get together and they're like, hey, we're gonna auction
off some you know, pupius and some like hunting stands
and some feeding baby and it's like, you know, hey,
this is like what that looks like. I'm not sure
how high tech this is or like if it's just
more than deer and coyotes and stuff, if it's like

(30:39):
lions and stuff like, but if it's like exata hunting
is yeah, that's I don't like that. But if it's a.

Speaker 2 (30:45):
Wag, the only time you should hunt a line is
if it's hunting you.

Speaker 4 (30:48):
You have no other choice.

Speaker 2 (30:51):
But that's my Yeah, they wanted to show her off
or they called us a few hours before asking to
come over, even though we've told them before we need
more notice than There's also been some passive aggressive behavior
towards me. When we went swimming, I invited them and
they just watched. She started asking me about it, how
often we go and if dear husband comes. Husband told
her that he doesn't go, and that it's something baby

(31:13):
and I do together when he is working. Then after swimming,
she made this huge deal about how she brought me
a pool pass. I thought that was super nice of
her because I know they are pricey. But the next
time I went and tried to use it, I wasn't
allowed to because she put it in husband's name. In
my opinion, that was deliberate. The final straw for me
was the egg drop on top of mother in law
and father in law, husband's grandma and grandpa, aunt and

(31:35):
uncle who live out of town came. That was fine,
but we knew mother in law had been talking poorly
about me beforehand, because husband's aunt attacked me verbally at
the egg drop in front of my baby, mother in
law and grandmother in law about things she wouldn't have
known unless mother in law had said something, right, because
of course she's gossiping and spreading bs all around.

Speaker 4 (31:54):
Don't you hate it when your parents drop some hot
gossip about you just for some clout at family dinner.

Speaker 2 (31:58):
Where it is the husband bear is the husband right now,
he should be right up on her. Of course, mother
in law and grandmother in law didn't step in or
say anything while she was verbally attacking me. We had
been invited to mother in law's house on Easter Day,
but chose not to go based on past experiences. It's
also hard with baby's nap schedule and they live an
hour and a half away. However, dear husband told mother

(32:20):
in law we weren't coming because he needed a day
to relax since he's working so much and going to school.
That's why I invited them to the egg drop. Anyway,
Husband's aunt starts an argument with me in the middle
of the egg drop about how I am letting my
baby control me. And that I should be controlling her,
and how rules are meant to be broken all over
the fact that my baby takes a nap.

Speaker 4 (32:41):
You should not be on your baby's schedule. You should
not let your baby tell you when it's ready to eat.
Don't let your baby make you leave the room just
because you got to change it. Be in control of
your baby.

Speaker 2 (32:51):
Let me mention she was sixteen months old at this time.
Then she starts in on me about how I'm to
blame for us not attending Easter. The next day, husband
said that he heard my mom voice and realized something
was going on, so he stepped in and shut it down.
On top of that, I was once again cropped out
of the Easter pictures with my baby.

Speaker 4 (33:09):
It was at that point that I decided to go
no contact.

Speaker 2 (33:11):
I've been so stressed out that I've been getting sick,
having headaches, and losing a lot of weight. I of
course let husband know that I didn't expect him to
go no contact as well, but I needed him to
support my decision. Well, today he went no contact. You
can see his post here. Oh I am so proud
of him. He is struggling with this decision as to
be expected, but we both finally took the step and
are putting ourselves first. That is a hard thing to

(33:33):
do as a people pleaser. And here is the husband's post. Everybody,
he is the husband's post.

Speaker 4 (33:42):
I would like to hear from this guy. Seems like
a good I would like to work with this guy.

Speaker 2 (33:46):
What I want to know is why, Like why anyone
was given a chance to even go at op when
they know going in there essentially going into enemy territory?
Like why was the husband and the wife not the
unit that they should have been. You should have been
running defense that whole time.

Speaker 4 (34:02):
You know it's the chronic PP bro. You got chronic Pepe.
You know he's got CPP. You got CPPE chronic people
pleasing you have it? Please call call our.

Speaker 2 (34:10):
Number one eight hundred CPP. Oh okay, so here's the
husband's post. Unfortunately, things have not gotten better since that post.
And I just sent the email below and blocked my
mom on everything. I'm just looking for some reassurance from
you all. With it being such a major decision. This
no contact is particularly hard because I know it ultimately
means no contact with my entire side of the family.

(34:30):
And by the way, uh, you don't have to go
no contact with this side of the family. All you
gotta do is go to your favorite podcasting app, be
it iHeartRadio or Spotify or Apple Podcasts and search the
name of our show, Okay, Storytime, and there you can
listen to fifty days, twelve hundred hours worth of stories.

Speaker 4 (34:52):
Basically until your ears fall off.

Speaker 1 (34:53):
And uh.

Speaker 4 (34:54):
Here's the email from my husband.

Speaker 2 (34:56):
Oh boy, dear mom, I am writing to you today
to talk about our relationship. It has been a long
and difficult journey, but I have come to a decision
that I feel is necessary for myself and my family.
We have decided to go no contact with you for now.
This decision isn't a niche reaction to one big event,
but is a very difficult one that has been carefully
considered after a lot of small actions that have slowly

(35:18):
chipped away until this finally struck chre. I want to
emphasize that this decision was not made lightly and it
was not meant to hurt you or punish you in
any way. Rather, it is a decision that we have
made to protect ourselves from further emotional pain and distress.
Over the years, I have struggled to maintain a relationship
with you. Due to the hurtful and damaging behaviors that

(35:40):
have repeatedly surfaced. I've tried to communicate my concerns to you,
but unfortunately it seems that my words have fallen on
deaf ears. As a result, I have come to the
realization that I need to prioritize my own mental health
and the well being of my family. I hope you
can understand that this decision is necessary for our own
healing and growth. I want to express my gratitude for

(36:00):
the positive experiences and support you have provided me with
in the past. I genuinely appreciate those moments. However, for
the sake of our own well being and personal growth,
we have decided to take some time apart. I hope
that in time you can find a way to rebuild
our relationship on healthier terms. Sincerely, Opie uh and that
my man is the end. And honestly, I can't think

(36:24):
of a yeah they got right put that was aid emails.
Why there correctly gassed up his email skills. That was
flawlessly executed. Hey it's Sam, your ogi host here bring
it back to the stories.

Speaker 4 (36:38):
But here's three minutes bads, from our sponsor.

Speaker 3 (36:40):
My father and stepmother had my head shaped when I
was a kid.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
My mother still hasn't gotten over it.

Speaker 4 (36:46):
Yikes, wasn't that bad.

Speaker 1 (36:48):
I wouldn't either.

Speaker 3 (36:49):
My parents have been divorced for a long time. I
have long, thick hair that the family is creepily proud of.
This happened back when I was about twelve years old.
By the way this comes from, that is not my
thing on the ar slash okay, storytime subured it.

Speaker 1 (37:02):
So.

Speaker 3 (37:02):
My parents live a bit away from each other. My
father had taken us suddenly, so we were all at
his place when I started to feel itchy. I told
him about it and we went to the doctor.

Speaker 1 (37:12):
I had lice.

Speaker 3 (37:16):
Uh not sure how. The only time I share anything
for the head is at home. The doctor checked my
brother and sister's heads. My sister only had a few,
but my brother, well, he.

Speaker 1 (37:24):
Had a lot.

Speaker 3 (37:26):
The doctor gave us the script for the shampoo and
comb and said to my father, you need to take
special care of her hair, as it is longer and
thicker than your other two children's hair. My father nodded,
and off we went. I was hopeful to have this
resolved quickly, as I had lice before. Each time was
with my mother, whom would just use the comb but afterwards,
But sometime nitpicked my hair so she could get all
the little buggers off me and I would always be

(37:48):
lice free in three days or less with her method.
My father got on his cell phone as he was
driving dangerous, I know, and called my mom. He had
her on speakerphone so we could all hear. She picked up,
and as she was starting to say hello, my father
snapped the.

Speaker 1 (37:59):
Can'ts have light? Why did you give the kids lice?

Speaker 4 (38:01):
Oh? Why did you do that?

Speaker 3 (38:03):
I heard my mother say, I told you to check
their hats. That my brother's name has a strange habit
of giving them, and he likes to shove his hats
on his sister's heads. More so my name, since she
hates people messing with her head or hair. However, she
does quite well with nitpicking, said my mother in a
calm voice. Nitpicking, asked my father. My mother told him
about the methods that worked best with each of us
and how to do it, even saying she could send

(38:25):
video demos if.

Speaker 1 (38:26):
He was too confused.

Speaker 4 (38:27):
That's nice, My father dismissed this little SOPs.

Speaker 3 (38:31):
I got this he said before he hung up, not
even saying goodbye. He drove us home after we picked
up the shampoo. For some odd reason, he didn't give
it to me and my siblings.

Speaker 4 (38:40):
So he's giving you false hope.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
That's crazy, that's even We'll get.

Speaker 4 (38:43):
The shampoo just to make you feel like you have
some hope.

Speaker 3 (38:46):
The next day, our stepmother took us out and said,
I'm not comfortable going out with lice. I don't want
to infect others. To my stepmother, she smiled, your father
told me all about that. We've got it covered. We're
going swimming today.

Speaker 1 (38:58):
Florine will kill the lice, heels, everything, Just stay underwater
for a long time. Oh and we got a nice
surprise for you. Let's go, she said with a smile.

Speaker 4 (39:06):
Oh no, all right, dude, this is smart.

Speaker 3 (39:10):
So we got lunch at a restaurant in town. Stepmom
was trying to make me feel better, but kind of
hard to do when she ordered me her favorite food,
which I refused to eat. She takes us to the pool.
I was ready to go in, but she grabbed me.

Speaker 1 (39:21):
Not you, not yet. You get a spa day first.

Speaker 4 (39:25):
This sounds like a pretty good day.

Speaker 1 (39:26):
Oh my gosh, she sounds like terrifying.

Speaker 5 (39:28):
What's something that you do with lice? Deep at like
mayo in your hair? That's what it is.

Speaker 4 (39:31):
You put peanut butter in there too. Really, sometimes you
put like some sort of soap.

Speaker 1 (39:38):
I never had lace, so I don't read.

Speaker 4 (39:40):
I've never had apple vinegar. You also put some mustard
in there sometimes to do it, put like coca cola
or some mountain dews.

Speaker 5 (39:50):
I can't tell if you're being serious or not. Now
I thought you were just going on some South stuff.

Speaker 3 (39:54):
Dude, don't worry about them. Others we watched them. I
looked back worried. But my siblings don't worry about them.
Others will watch them, said my stepmother as she took
me to a nearby hair salon. We entered, and I
was feeling super anxious. I'm really picky about my hair
and only like it when I go to the places
my mother takes me to.

Speaker 1 (40:11):
As the last place.

Speaker 3 (40:12):
My father got my haircut at camp made me look
like someone cut my hair in the dark. We are
your one o'clock appointments, said my stepmom. The woman looked
at me and said, hu, but her hair, said the
woman at the desk. My step mom was quick.

Speaker 1 (40:25):
We have the money.

Speaker 3 (40:25):
My husband called and already ordered the haircut. Our little
girl is looking forward to it, said my step mom.
I looked at her confused, but I asked surprised. The
woman behind the desk side and took me to the back.
She washed my hair and kept apologizing to me. I
had no idea why that was until we got to
the chair and she started to lop off my hair. No,

(40:45):
I was staring surprised. Remember to shave it as close
as you can to the skin. It has to be
really short. Her hair is so thick, no one will notice.
My stepmother called from the waiting area. I'm ready to
cry at this moment, as my hair is disappearing right
before my eyes. People are I'm muttering. I had no
idea what they were saying, but in my mind at
the time, I thought they were talking about how horrible
I looked with short hair. After a while, since they

(41:07):
had to cut my hair first, then buzz since my
hair was so long n wavy, I now had a
hair cut shorter than my brother's. This is like, that's
that's abuse. These parents should never be allowed to be
around you ever.

Speaker 1 (41:21):
Again. I go back to my.

Speaker 3 (41:22):
Stepmom, who was paying the woman who asked, what did
she do wrong for her to get this, she asked,
before giving me a lollipop.

Speaker 1 (41:29):
Nothing.

Speaker 3 (41:29):
Thought she would feel cooler this way, as summer's coming,
said my stepmother. She then took me back to the
pool and told me to soak my head to end
any leftover lice. We swam for a bit more before
heading home. We all showered, each of us now allowed
to use lice, getting rid of shampoo, and then had
our hair combed.

Speaker 1 (41:45):
However, my father looked at my hair. There's stale, some
air left. Her hair is too thick.

Speaker 3 (41:49):
I am not able to deal with this people. This
guy should not be a parent, he said, before he
got a razor and shaved off the stubble on my head. Well,
I had no more lice, but I had no more
hair either. I was upset by this and hid in
my room for the rest of the visit, refusing to
come out except to eat or go to the bathroom.
If I was this person's mother, I would literally go
to court. I would go to court to never allow

(42:11):
this man to ever be around my child again. Our
dad dropped us off out my mom's a week later,
when she wasn't home. He wasn't stupid. You knew what
she would do if she saw my head. Well, my
mom got home and noticed we were already there a
few hours early. She was happy to see us until
she saw my head. I can still hear her screens.
She called my father over. He arrived about twenty minutes later.
What did you do to our daughter's hair? That's right,

(42:34):
she snapped, pointing to me, as I was hiding my
head under a blanket so not to show my hairless head.
She had lice. I fixed it. She shouldn't have thick
air to begin with.

Speaker 1 (42:42):
What do you mean she shouldn't have thick air? What
what do you mean she shouldn't have thick air?

Speaker 4 (42:46):
Dude, as her hair? Just get the papers together. You
don't have to worry about a thick air anymore. Like literally, yeah,
we don't worry about it.

Speaker 1 (42:56):
You have thick hair. I have thick air, so our
kid is gonna have thick air. You shaved her bald,
yet did nitpicking with the other two? She hissed, No,
just to comb we still got lice.

Speaker 3 (43:05):
Shy my sister, No, you don't, and why should I
kids shouldn't even have lice, so she shouldn't have thick air.

Speaker 1 (43:11):
Kids shouldn't have lice. You shouldn't have kids.

Speaker 4 (43:13):
Bing bang boom bot boom bob sam.

Speaker 1 (43:15):
Snap, my father. My mother rolled her eyes.

Speaker 3 (43:18):
You shaved your daughter's head because you were too lazy
to do your job as a father. Do you know
why your daughter's hair was so long, snap, my mother,
Because you think she looks hute that way, Snap, my father.
My mother turned to me, tell your father why you
were growing your hair, she said, more, trying not to
sound harsh with me. I peeked my head out. I
wanted to look like my favorite princess for a punzel. No,

(43:38):
my father gaveed it me.

Speaker 1 (43:39):
You told her to say that she likes her hair
like this, then why is she hid? Snap, my mother.

Speaker 3 (43:43):
This went on for about an hour until my father
left in a huff, telling everyone that I wanted to
be bald.

Speaker 4 (43:48):
Yep, that she really wanted guys.

Speaker 3 (43:51):
I was crying at this point as I felt so misunderstood.
My mother gave me a stuffed animal and told me
to relax in my room. After an hour or so,
my mom showed up with a poorly made yarn wig honey.
I called up some friends who are currently making you
hair hat so you can at least pretend.

Speaker 4 (44:04):
You have hair.

Speaker 3 (44:05):
I know how much you like your hair. Now listen,
I might still be mad at him, but don't worry.

Speaker 1 (44:09):
Hair grows. You will have your hair back in no time.

Speaker 2 (44:11):
Ah.

Speaker 3 (44:12):
Yeah that her father's by the way. You know what
doesn't listening to full episodes with stories just like this.
Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or iHeartRadio and search up. Okay,
story time, but there is a little bit left to
the story. Literally do If I was his mother, I
would go to court to make sure that he lost custody.

Speaker 4 (44:29):
Yeah, but how much to go bald?

Speaker 3 (44:31):
How much would I go to go bald? No, I
don't think it capends what it's for, doubt I guess so.

Speaker 1 (44:35):
But I don't think I.

Speaker 4 (44:35):
Get money in your pocket? How much? I don't know
ten grand all right, twenty.

Speaker 1 (44:40):
I don't know. I don't really do things.

Speaker 4 (44:42):
Fifty to fifty grand me, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (44:44):
I'd have to think about it.

Speaker 5 (44:45):
I want to.

Speaker 3 (44:47):
If it was just to cut my hair, I'd do it,
but like, like, if it was to cut my hair short,
I do that, But like I don't know about.

Speaker 5 (44:52):
No like you're going full on Viva vendetta. Natalie Portman
shaved head.

Speaker 4 (44:56):
I'm a dude, Like, what's what's three point five percent
of the Houselifornia plus seven k plus ten k? I
don't know that's what i'd.

Speaker 2 (45:03):
Do with that?

Speaker 1 (45:05):
Finish this story off?

Speaker 5 (45:06):
But you ever read lice, Riley? Because I have not
I near your siblings.

Speaker 4 (45:09):
No, okay, I feel my mother would behead us if
we ever did that. She she does not like throw up.
I don't even want to ask her what she'd do
if we ever got lies.

Speaker 5 (45:21):
I was gonna say, licens is like not very common
out here.

Speaker 1 (45:24):
I don't know.

Speaker 5 (45:25):
Maybe it is, yeah, it is.

Speaker 4 (45:26):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (45:26):
I've never all the time at my school growing up.

Speaker 5 (45:29):
Really, I've never met anyone who has had lice.

Speaker 1 (45:31):
My mom was like, don't share hats, don't share brushes
for what?

Speaker 4 (45:34):
And you know a lot of people exactly.

Speaker 3 (45:36):
I start asking, But we have more to the story.
I spent that summer wearing lots of funny hats. You
tried to shave me balled a few more times after that,
but my mom had told my siblings to not let
him or my stepmom get near me with any hair
cutting places or devices. And whenever my father tries something
we won't like, my mother reminds him. His mistakes will
take months to correct. And if you ask about the
time with my mom, she will growl about how she's
still mad at him. Why is he around you? I literally,

(45:58):
why is he around you still? Why was he allowed
to be around you? No clue, but that's the end
of that story.

Speaker 1 (46:07):
My mother in law causes chaos every holiday. This year,
I put my foot down. You gotta put your foot down.
Stop the chaos. Stop it. We refuse to spend all
of Christmas Day with my mother in law and forget
about my family like she wanted. So every year, on
Christmas Eve, my husband, twenty nine year old male, and
I twenty six year old female, spend time with my

(46:29):
husband's family. This year, my husband and mother in law
got sick food poisoning from work. They work for the
same company, but in different departments. Therefore we were unable
to attend. By the way, this comes from anonymous TN
and if you want to submit your own stories, just
go to the our slush okay storage tub so good
would go. On Christmas Day, we wanted to spend time
with my family. I haven't always had a good relationship

(46:50):
with my side, but my little brother had passed away
in twenty twenty two, and since then my father and
stepmother are more like my mom thought help and got clee.
All of us have been working on our relationship. On
Christmas Day, my mother in law wanted all of us, her,
my husband, myself, and our children to go two towns
over to her other son's house to celebrate. I let
her know that we had plans with my family for weeks,

(47:12):
but we would only be gone for two hours at
the most since my husband had to work later that night.
We also wanted to spend time at home so the
kids could enjoy their gifts. I asked her to stop
by our house when she got back into town so
that we could be together if she felt like it.
She absolutely flipped out and twisted my words around. She
said that I was choosing others over her and claimed

(47:33):
that I said she wasn't good enough to be with them.
Mind you, I never said any of that. DC's are
children every week, sometimes a couple of times a week.
All day on Christmas, she blew up my phone, pusting
at me and putting words in my mouth. This isn't
the first time she's used us as the old scapegoat.
I'm tired of the bs. It's like she wants to

(47:54):
be in control of everything, and if things don't go
exactly how she wants, he throws a fit. My husband
normal handles her, but this time I had just had enough.
I had told her that she was putting words in
my mouth and I wasn't going to put my energy
into her. My husband muted her contact on our phone
so we weren't constantly getting texts and calls from her.
US not responding apparently made her a hundred times more mad,

(48:16):
because she blew up both of our phones all day
and night. I finally sent her a text telling her
I was done. I told her that she could be
mad and I didn't care anymore, and I was tired
of every holiday being full of drama. I obviously didn't
start this, and she won't use us to take her
anger out on anymore. Every holiday, my mother in law
blames someone for ruining her day, her birthday, Easter, Halloween, Thanksgiving,

(48:40):
for the July. On Thanksgiving, she was mad. Her other
son left early so that they could visit with his
wife's family too. On her birthday, we had a surprise
planned where my husband and children were going to surprise
her with her favorite ice cream cake and heartfelt guard. Well,
my husband and kids were on their way to her house,
she texted me saying that nobody can cares about her

(49:00):
and that she knew nobody would even put in any
effort to make her have a good day. When my
son was one years old, before the VID really hit
and before testing for it was common, my son and
I were so sick. We had a fever and the
poor baby had to change clothes twice before we even
got out the door to go to the Christmas Eve celebration.
We're late that time due to that, and she's a

(49:21):
fit about us being late. Over the summer, she started
a huge fight with our other daughter in law, my
sister in law, because she had been staying there while
she was looking for a job, but slowly started moving
all of her belongings into their home and using brother
in laws of eagle at all hours without asking. Sister
in law had enough. Brother in law was in another
town training for a new job, and brother in law

(49:42):
told her that she needed to leave. She then claim
that they were all supposed to start living together. The
day after that, she told us that she had gotten
into a four car pile up wreck because she was
so upset over sister in law and of course this
is all this is your fault. When I tried to
get to her to check on her, she said that
it wasn't that bad and that she was able to
drive away.

Speaker 3 (50:02):
Sorry, you drove hopefully like you first got everyone's insurance.

Speaker 1 (50:07):
Yeah, taking to see if everyone's okay. But we saw
no marks on the vehicle when we saw her two
days later.

Speaker 3 (50:13):
Oh so, so she might be lying. She's definitely lying. Yeah,
you don't get to a three car pile up crazy. Also,
it's not a pile up if you were able to
drive away.

Speaker 1 (50:22):
I feel like this behavior is nothing new at this point,
and we do have an update, got more info on
and just no mother in law. I've posted here once
before about my husband twenty nine male and me twenty
six female, refusing to spend all of Christmas Day with
my mother in law and forgetting about my family like
she wanted. I want to thank everyone who commented on
the first post, because y'all really helps me realize just

(50:43):
how toxic she truly is my mother in law. Forty
eight female is no stranger to drama. It seems to
follow her everywhere. We live in a small town and
we were recently told that she's been telling people that
she's in such bad health and that the only reason
she's still working is because she pays all of our bills,
which is laughable. The last time we were twenty dollars

(51:04):
short on a bill, we reached out to her and
she told us to figure it out because she was
broke that we did. The person who told us this
is very credible and has known mother in law for
a couple of decades. And if I'm honest, my husband
and I had just sent her roughly fifty dollars a
month ago because she called crying about being out of
gas in another town and needing to eat. She also

(51:25):
lives with her elderly mother and pays no bills there,
but she does have an online shopping problem. She also
dumpster dives. She's found a lot of brand new things
and helped people with those things. Though I'm not hating
O well, but she started bringing things with no value
to her mother's house and piling them up outside. When
her mom and sister told her that she needed to

(51:45):
stop and get rid of it. She slowly started bringing
stuff to our house and putting it on our porches.
At first, I would go through just to make sure
that there was nothing we could use, But it got
to the point where I was so overwhelmed with stuff
that my husband had to tell her to stop bringing
things here unless we approved them first. When she was
told to stop bringing it to our house, we were
suddenly the bad guys and called ungrateful. He even called

(52:07):
my husband and brother in law a self absorbed people
because we didn't want trash at our houses. She also
constantly tries to bring me into her fights with people
I don't even know. He uses me as a scare tactic, saying, oh,
pe is my daughter in law. She'll beat your butt.
What girl?

Speaker 2 (52:23):
What?

Speaker 3 (52:24):
That's actually really funny. It's like not using like my
two sons will beat your butt. It's like my daughter
in law's gotta beat you up. Okay, can really pow
for something? Apparently, He's like, yeah, I work out every week,
but she keeps using me as a you know, yeah,
as her defense. Right, Yeah, I'm not going to jail
just because she wants me to fight her battles for
her life with her was exhausting.

Speaker 1 (52:46):
It disrupted my peace. Another thing she's constantly done is
blow up my phone if I don't answer the first time.
I have kids. I'm not the type to sit on
my phone all day long. It gives me such anxiety
every time my phone rang, because even if I did
answer the first time, she was all always witching about something.

Speaker 4 (53:01):
Always.

Speaker 1 (53:02):
She was a single mom to two boys, my husband
and brother in law. It's like she wants her sons
and their wives to only focus on her and not
see their own family. Weird. She's always taken care of
by her mother and father. They paid for her life
and for anything her children needed. They stopped and she
was in her late thirties. Since husband and I have
been married, and since brother in law has been grown,
she's constantly made comments like I can't wait to not

(53:25):
have to work anymore and for y'all to pay for
my life since I was a single mom. It infuriates
my husband because his grandparents monetarily took care of all
of them, and if he were to help anyone, it
would be his grandmother. We haven't talked to her since
Christmas Day. Since then, She's been telling people that she
bought all of our children's Christmas presents, she pays all
of our bills, and she cares for our children more

(53:47):
than we do. It's all lies. Besides, I'm a stay
at home mom. The last time she kept our children
alone was when I had our youngest baby and was
in the hospital one night. We win no contact and
explained to the children that we needed a break from Nana.
Children understood. Heck, my children, all under ten, seem to
be more mature than her. We blocked her number. We

(54:07):
do have a messenger account, we never use. It was
created to talk to my stepdad, who lives states away,
when his phone is broken. She's been sending links to
videos and trying to talk to my husband as if
she never did anything wrong. I mentioned this in my
first post, but I'll put it here as well. The
reason I stayed in contact with her for so long
was because anytime we stopped talking to her in the past,

(54:28):
she would cry and say that something was really wrong
with her health, or claim that she relapsed or almost relapsed.
My husband and I are both in recovery and have
been clean for many years now, so I didn't want
to be the reason that someone else lost their sobriety.
I now know that she is in control of her
own behavior, and I'm done. But what should we do
about her lying to everyone in town? Should we just

(54:49):
stay silent and let her lie, or should we somehow
address it?

Speaker 3 (54:53):
Edit?

Speaker 1 (54:53):
I wanted to add that she had pressured me for
months to become a cam girl or start an OnlyFans
who I dance? That's so not insane, not the typical
dynamic that you see between a mother in law. What
I danced in my past, but that lifestyle is no
longer something I'm involved in. I'm sober and turned my

(55:14):
life around completely many years. I'm not doubting anyone who
does that kind of work, but it's no longer for me.
She knows how bad my mental health was back then
and how I spiraled into substances during that time, So
it makes me feel like she had malicious intentions by
pushing me to do that at work. Again, the question remains,
what should we do about her lying to everyone in town?

Speaker 3 (55:35):
Oh my goodness, you just post like start doing like
the lost dog posters.

Speaker 1 (55:40):
But just like, do not trust this woman?

Speaker 6 (55:42):
Right?

Speaker 1 (55:42):
She's a liar? He say this woman does not pay
for me at all, So if she tells you anything,
she's lied a lie. I don't know, man, this and
just ignore her. Go the contact. She's exhausting. Yeah, I
feel like with just any lies from people, you kind
of just have to deal with it. Yeah, because it's
either like you try and defend yourself and then you

(56:04):
kind of often get painted as the bad guy for
trying to defend yourself or you just kind of like
you're like, okay, whatever. Yeah, you just have to trust
that if there was anyone else in town that's being
lied to and they're close enough to you that you
guys can talk about it.

Speaker 3 (56:15):
I like whenever you're alone with these people, because honestly,
if you don't have a close enough relationship, like who
cares what they think exactly?

Speaker 1 (56:22):
And there is another update update number two. Well, I'm
back to update you all on my crazy toxic, dumpster diving,
trash dumping self absorbed person I call mother in law.
I last updated about a week ago, but of course
more has happened context. We went no contact to my
mother in law after all of this crazy stuff. In

(56:43):
the previous updates, we blocked her number and hadn't spoken
since until yesterday. Yesterday, while my husband was asleep, I
heard his phone going off. It was the Facebook messenger
ring tone. We don't use Facebook. We created this messenger
account to talk to my stepdad until his phone was fixed,
and of course it was mother. I rejected the call.
She started texting, trying to tell on me to my husband,

(57:04):
as if he doesn't know what's going on. She said,
I was calling to talk to the kids. OHPI has
blocked me. She really did, and I can prove it.
She's been awful to me. She has disrespected me. You
can't keep the kids from me. I chuggled and went
about my night. When husband woke up, he replied, I
know you're blocked. I'm the one that did that. You

(57:24):
were never disrespected, but you completely disrespected my wife when
she was only trying to include everyone. And yes, I
can keep our children from you for conduct. Our car
recently broke down. It's twenty years old and we've been
looking for a new one. My father found a car
for us, bought it and surprised us with it. My stepmother,
husband and mother in law all work at the same company.
Husband is in a completely different department, but stepmother and

(57:47):
mother in law work in the same department. Mother in
law overheard a conversation between stepmother and a coworker about
the car and how she and my father couldn't wait
to gift us the car. Mother in law mentioned to
stepmother that she wanted to put one hundred dollars towards
it and surprise us too. Stepmother knows all about mother
in law and told her no because she would hold
it over our heads. She responded, I have been disfected

(58:11):
the humanity. This is very insightful, son. Guess I won't
be buying you the car I found for you also
be bringing the kids Christmas presents to your house when
the snow is gone. I don't care if you like
it or not. By this time, we already had the car.
Step Mother knew mother in law would ruin the surprise
unless they got it to us asap. Husband responded, you

(58:32):
mean the car father in law and stepmother in law
gifted us. It's in the driveway. That's exactly why they
told you that you could be involved. Hold everything over
my head, and if I want you at my home,
you'll be invited or not invited. Do not show up
to my home. We don't want to see you. I'm done, mom.
Yes that is peir and strong.

Speaker 4 (58:55):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (58:55):
Yeah, we don't want to see you.

Speaker 3 (58:57):
Don't want to see you around here, man, There is
no simpler way to say that. No two ways around
that manyeah, no sugarcoat in it, just like I don't
like you.

Speaker 1 (59:07):
Yeah. She responded four more times, but neither of us
bothered to read or reply. So lovely friends of just
no mother in law? If she shows up? Do I
call the police? Is that considered trespassing? She does have
a key to my home. Husband forgot his house key
in her car when he took it to get the
oil changed about two months ago, and she never gave
it back. We will be having the lucks changed, but

(59:28):
nobody will come out here to do it until the
snow is caught. We live in the South and just
got a crab ton of snow. I'm so tired of
the bs surrounding this woman. Child also telling people that
our son cries for her, He in fact does not.
He knows that we're taking a break from Nana and why,
as do my other children. A few days ago, when
I told him stepmother was coming over, he thought I

(59:49):
meant mother in law. They call her a variation of
Nana too. He got upset and so that he doesn't
want to see her because she was awful to me
and made me cry. Oh, oh my gosh, is so sweet.
Mother in law also told people in her department at
work that we have demanded she buy us a car
and give us money. Thankfully most of those people, no

(01:00:09):
husband and stepmother was able to put that rumor into rest.
She's been spreading crazy rumors all over our little town
and there is another updates. Oh my goodness, just no
mother in law decided to show up. Well, I'm back
to update you all in my crazy, toxic, dumpster diving,
trash dumming, self absorbed person I call mother in law again. Hello,
my lovely friends of reddits. Sorry I've not updated it

(01:00:32):
in a while. My last post was locked and I
wasn't able to update you all there. I'm still figuring
out how Reddit works. But onto the mother in law drama.
On Tuesday last week, husband was brought into the office
at his job. The head manager explained that they've been
getting complaints that mother in law has been pestering other coworkers.
She harassed an eighteen year old in her department, and
the girl recorded it, along with another incident of mother

(01:00:53):
in law talking badly about us. Mother in law has
also been bashing husband and me, so management wanted to
know what was going on, since husband isn't one to
engage in drama or bring his personal life to work.
Husband briefly explained what was happening. He was told that
workers only get a few chances and mother in law
may be terminated. One of the concerns brought to their
attention was mother in law saying that she was going

(01:01:13):
to come to our home when she knew that husband
was asleep and knock my butt out as soon as
I opened the door. Oh wow, he's starting violence now.
So concerning call the police, Yes, absolutely, but since husband
hadn't started this or brought it to work, he was fine.
He told them to do what they needed to do
and thanked them for letting him know what she had
been saying. Fast forward to Friday, at three pm. I

(01:01:36):
was getting our youngest baby girl out of the bath
when I heard noise outside of my porch. At first
I thought it could be a package being delivered, but
the noise persistent. Our baby is under a year old,
so I couldn't just leave her unattended. I put her
in her crib and then I heard a knock at
the door. It was mother in law. Our oldest son
saw it was her, hid under a blanket and said, Mommy,
tell her to leave. I asked him to go to

(01:01:57):
my bedroom, where a husband was sleeping. He works nice,
and I took a deep breath opened the door, giving
her plenty of time to try and hit me if
she desired. She in fact didn't hit me or even
try mother in law. I brought the kids Christmas presents.
Husband had some deliveries sent to mom's house so the
kids wouldn't see them. Me. Okay, Mother in law scotted, well,

(01:02:18):
aren't you going to let them come outside and get
them and then let them see me me. No, I'm
going to get my husband. Maybe he will want to
deal with you. I'm not going to. She rolled her eyes.
I shut and locked the door behind me. I woke
my husband up and told him the situation. He was,
of course pissed off. It was a nice day, so
we had the windows open. I'm sure she heard him,

(01:02:39):
because the next thing I heard was her slinging gravel
with her tires and speeding out of there. She then
sent brother in law a long rant about how we
won't let her see the kids. She also claimed that
she's certain I'm pregnant, but that we just don't want
her to know, and that's why we haven't started talking
to her, as if the status of my womb is
any of her business. I'm not pregnant. Brother in law

(01:03:00):
decided to go no contact with her. She's still talking
crap about him and his wife behind their backs, and
her talking about me was his last straw. Of course,
him deciding to go to North Carolina is also my fault,
as if I control him and his decision making. Also,
we got our locks changed after my last post. As
soon as the roads were clear enough to get to town.
Husband went to our local hardware store and got everything

(01:03:23):
we needed to change each store. Last night, when husband
was at work, his manager came to him and told
him that mother in law had given him money to
give to the husband. The manager handed the husband twenty dollars,
so he took that money and bought his friend and
coworker a few groceries. Since he's been struggling, Lady mother
in law keeps finding new ways to text husband, it's weird.
She just sends him links to random tiktoks, calls herself

(01:03:46):
a talker, and tells everyone she goes to TikTok University. Okay,
from what we hear, she claims she won't give up
her stance since she's in the right, she will see
our kids. She knows the husband needs her, and I'm
keeping husband away and controlling him, so I'm keeping my
eyes on her from a distance. Brother in law and
husband believe that she has relapsed on substances based on

(01:04:09):
some of the things that she said to brother in
law before he went to North Caroline that which is crazy,
sober and insane on substances. There's also a couple more things,
but I have to ask if husband wants me to
talk about it since he doesn't really involve edits ad
A husband doesn't mind if I tell you all the
other So husband's had a doctor's appointment. An hour before

(01:04:29):
his appointment, the office called us informing us that his
insurance had suddenly lapsed and that we needed to give
them a call. By the way, which you guys do
is check out more episodes with full stories just like
this one. Just go to iHeartRadio, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, whatever
your favorite podcast app is, and serch okay storytyme do it.
Doctor's orders, you gotta do. Keep the doctor away. We

(01:04:51):
called the insurance company. Without getting into specifics. Mother in
law is the reason that insurance lapsed and we had
to pay nearly seven hundred dollars for my husband to
see his doctor and get the medication that he has
to have every day. I feel like that twenty dollars
was her way of trying to get in our good
graces after we had to pay this seven dollars. My
husband texted her that day letting her know just how

(01:05:13):
effed up this was. But twenty dollars doesn't even compare
to seven hundred dollars, mother in law. That's what we're saying.
That's nothing. That's nothing compared to that am nothing. Oh
my goodness. But that is the end of that story.
Today we're gonna jump into the next one.

Speaker 4 (01:05:32):
Hey, it's John here og host of the show.

Speaker 1 (01:05:34):
We're gonna get back to these juicy stories.

Speaker 2 (01:05:35):
But here's a quick three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

Speaker 3 (01:05:38):
My mother in law went back on her word, so
we're keeping her out of our wedding class like mother
in law's always going back on their word.

Speaker 1 (01:05:45):
I bet you she's gonna show up to the wedding
in white.

Speaker 3 (01:05:48):
I wanted to share the story because when I told
it in full to some friends, they got a big
laugh and a cautionary tale. And we have made a
tentative decision that some are seeing as too tough for
our reasoning. By the way, this comes from Brady and
Pop two three seven seven, And if you want to
some of your own stories, go to our slash shokey
storytime separate it. I want some objective opinions to try
to support my future husband in making a choice. When

(01:06:10):
I started dating my fiance, he warned me his mom
was crazy is words not mine, But early on she
seemed pretty normal, if a bit immature. At time when
we decided to move in together, she offered to rent
us her house while she moved in with her kind
of long term boyfriend. We thought it might work out
better than finding an apartment. I was a little hesitant,
so we all sat down to discuss our concerns making

(01:06:31):
the space, our own rules for Poppins, covering utilities and maintenance,
and what would happen if she sold the house. We
put together a simple contract, signed it, and moved in.
At first things were fine, but after a few months
she started dropping by unannounced and randomly storing things in
the housing garage. We could deal with it since it
was her house. Then utility bills started arriving with final

(01:06:53):
notice warnings, even though we'd agreed she'd handle them. We
ended up paying hundreds to get them up to date.
To keep the peace, we slowly started talking about getting
out of her house and finding a different rental not
owned by family. Then, out of nowhere, she told us
she'd be listening the house in two weeks. We were
shocked because part of our agreement was that the place
was effectively ours for at least a year. My fiance

(01:07:14):
told her she wasn't keeping her word, but she shrugged,
saying that paper we signed doesn't mean anything.

Speaker 1 (01:07:19):
I got rid of it anyways.

Speaker 3 (01:07:20):
The paper we signed doesn't mean anything. What Usually when
you sign a piece of paper, it means an old deal,
It means a big lot. As they argued, I started
searching for rentals. We both agreed it was time to
move out and hopefully salvage some relationship with her. You
kept coming over and told us to make everything back
to how it was when she lived there, even though

(01:07:41):
a lot of our changes were improvements that could help
her sell. A realtor came by, took some photos just
on her phone, and a couple of days later we
got approved for a new place and began packing out
of nowhere. She texted my fiance saying you can stay,
but rent's going out one hundred dollars. When he called,
she admitted her realtor suggesting renting instead of selling for

(01:08:01):
various reasons, but it would take money to get it
up to par, to list it for rent to anyone
but us, and have other expenses as well. My fiance refused,
which made her furious. You blamed it all on me,
calling me a witch, controlling, brainwashing, and telling him to
leave me while he's still the chance. He snapped and
defended me, saying she was just jealous that I'm already

(01:08:21):
everything she wants to be. At twenty four, we moved
up our movent date to be out in three days.
Over the last days, we've got every trace of us
out of there, including all the renter friendly changes and
upgrades like better bathroom hardware. Yes, I even uninstalled faucets
out of pettiness, good though we didn't need them at
the new place.

Speaker 1 (01:08:39):
Aside from a little paint that.

Speaker 3 (01:08:40):
We had approved with her before doing, it looked exactly
like it did when she lived there. The realtor returned
with the photographer and told her the house would likely
sit on the market longer and get lower offers because
it didn't look as good as it had with our updates.
Caulled again, yelling that we sabotaged her, demanding we redo
everything we'd undone at her request and claiming we owed

(01:09:01):
her the rest of the year's utilities in rent. Since
she discarded the contract, we technically didn't know her anything,
so my fiance said no and hung up. You eventually
sold the house for less than asking, using a mix
of photos with our upgrades in them and the professional
listing photos. We barely spoke to her since, and he
has brought up the idea of not involving her in
traditional mother of the groom roles.

Speaker 4 (01:09:22):
In our wedding.

Speaker 3 (01:09:23):
I think that's probably smart. We're not getting married in
a church and have some other things that are non traditional,
but I'm close with my dad and keeping those traditions
like a father daughter dance. He was going to have
a dance with his mom and to have her walk
down the aisle with him when he entered. Now he's
thinking about having his dad and brother best man walk
down with him instead. My mom and dad will be
walking with me instead of a dance with his mom.

(01:09:44):
He's thinking of doing one with my mom or doing
something unique with his dad and or brother. We're still planning.
His parents have been divorced for almost his whole life,
so his dad has chosen to not share an opinion
on this and just go with whatever we decide. The
way I see it, it's his mom and his decision.
I'm okay with either choice he makes, and will put
aside all of our differences for the sake of our

(01:10:05):
day and the memories he could have with her if
he decides that he wants those. But if he decides
that she should be a guest instead, no skin off
my nose, Honestly, either way, My mom and maid of
honor know the entire situation and plan on running mother
in law interference on the day to make sure that
both me and my fiance don't have to stress out
about her behavior. If at some point in the night

(01:10:25):
she's gone. It likely means she's acted up to the
point they punted her out, and so be it. We
trust their judgment and the days about our future. My
family is looking at this, like his dad is. She's
a grown but woman, and whatever my fiance decides are
the consequences of her action, they will support. A couple
of his family members and some of our friends say
we would be way too arched to not involve her,

(01:10:46):
and it will just be the nail in the coffin
on the relationship with her, when right now it is salvagible.

Speaker 1 (01:10:51):
I mean, but it is salvageable.

Speaker 3 (01:10:53):
I feel like I feel like some elements of are salvagible,
but it seems like she's I don't know, she's just
making a whole issue about everything.

Speaker 4 (01:11:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:11:01):
It's like the kind of thing where it's like, even
if you did put in work to try to fix it,
there's just going to be more problems that pupa. I
feel like, I feel like inviting her to the wedding
would be nice.

Speaker 3 (01:11:09):
But doesn't have to be involved in Yeah, especially if
she's just not comfortable with that. My fiance is struggling
because at the end of the day, she is his mom,
but not only did she go after me fiercely. It's
not the first time they've had it out. I didn't
provide all of the background, but just a small glimpse.
He was paying a lot of her bills when he
was roughly sixteen to twenty. Wow, not because she couldn't
work or anything, but because she was going out and

(01:11:32):
partying or regularly and would get let go for not
showing up or just calling him sick all the time
and losing a big chunk of pay thanks to partying.
She's gotten better now, but they still have some issues.
So would we be the ales if we didn't include
her in a traditional way? And there is an update?

Speaker 1 (01:11:47):
But what do you think? I think No? I think no,
she's making a big deal out of this stuff and
just like causing too any problems. Is she's still gonna
be involved. She's still gonna be at the wedding. Yeah,
that is not going to be a Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:11:58):
Update in about my mother in law drama after renting
from her and how my fiance was considering not involving
her in traditional mother of the groom roles in our
upcoming wedding, Well, things escalated quickly my fiance decided to
invite his mother over for dinner at our new place,
to be honest with her about his reservations and set
clear ground rules on what their relationship would look like

(01:12:20):
if she wanted to be involved in the wedding and
our future, which actually I think that's honestly a great
way to go about it. It's like, yeah, it's like, hey,
we were thinking about not having you in this wedding
because of how.

Speaker 1 (01:12:30):
You've treated us.

Speaker 3 (01:12:31):
Yeah, you have an opportunity, dude, you know, maybe changed
your minds.

Speaker 1 (01:12:35):
Yeah, just being very honest, like, hey, this is actually
your fault, so if you want to fix it, then
fix it.

Speaker 3 (01:12:40):
He and I prepped dinner together, and when she arrived,
we chatted briefly. We had agreed that I would let
them start the conversation alone, so while the dish was
finishing in the oven, I left them and went into
my office. It only took a few minutes before I
heard voices getting raised, but I kept myself out of
it until everything went quiet. About five minutes later, my
fiance very calmly came up to me. I could tell

(01:13:00):
he was fuming inside, but he just said, she's not
coming and I'm not changing my mind.

Speaker 1 (01:13:05):
Oh yeah, I mean they had the conversation, he gave
her the chance. Yeah, he was.

Speaker 3 (01:13:09):
Gone, and he and I ate dinner while watching her
comfort show. Not much was said about it until we
were getting ready for bed. He told me, I wasn't sure.
I wanted to tell you how everything went down, but
I think I want you to know if you're okay
with hearing it, because it's not very nice. I didn't
want him to bottle it up, and I have pretty
thick skin, so I agree. As we got into bed,
he gave me a recap of the conversation to sum

(01:13:30):
it up and save a blow by blow. She had
always hoped he would end things with me before we
got engaged. When that didn't happen, she held a hope
that he would leave me at the altar. She thinks
I'm a skunk with an A and the disappearing act
were high school sweethearts, and I make more than him,
and that he should be with someone more like her,
as in mother in law, as in his mother.

Speaker 1 (01:13:49):
Oh no, oh no. When he told her she.

Speaker 3 (01:13:52):
Couldn't speak about me that way and that he didn't
want her in the wedding or now, even at the wedding,
he said he would have regretted the marriage a little
less if she were there, it would still be the
biggest regret of his life. He responded that his biggest
regret was sacrificing so much of his own life to
support his grown mother, declaim that was his responsibility because
she could have terminated him.

Speaker 1 (01:14:12):
Wow, his mother. Wow, Yeah, you've had the conversation.

Speaker 4 (01:14:15):
You've tried.

Speaker 3 (01:14:15):
Yeah, but you know what you guys could try and
do listen to fall episodes of stories just like this.
Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts or iHeartRadio and.

Speaker 1 (01:14:23):
Search a book the story time. But keep it lest
do that. Let's do that. Oh man, I'm glad that
he like made the decision put his foot down. You know,
she pushed him too far and it's just like, no,
you don't need to be there, You don't need to
be there at all.

Speaker 3 (01:14:38):
Yeah, I mean, like when you've had like I think
it's always important to have those conversations and have, you know,
talk it out before you go no contact if you can.

Speaker 1 (01:14:45):
And you did. You have the conversation, you laid down
the ground rolls and exactly you didn't want to follow them. Exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:14:50):
He then headed towards my office, saying she would beat
some sense into my butt if he wouldn't, and that
was his final straw. He told her to leave and
not contact either of us again. So we will be
having a very non traditional ceremony, and he's even considering
some incognito security to make sure she doesn't try to
show up. He's content with his decision and is seeing
a therapist to help with some of these complex feelings.

Speaker 1 (01:15:12):
And that is the end of that story. But that
is I think that is.

Speaker 4 (01:15:15):
The way to go.

Speaker 1 (01:15:16):
I agree, I agree, good for him, gone therapy, taking
care of him, therapy nice.

Speaker 3 (01:15:22):
But that is the end of that story and the
end of this episode. So if you love us, make
sure to subscribe.

Speaker 1 (01:15:28):
We love you, and seein tomorrow.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My mother-in-law has been controlling our lives for so long…I can’t take it anymore! | Reddit Stories