Lisa Bilyeu ON: Train Your Confidence like a Muscle & Use These Simple Daily Habits to Succeed in Any Situation

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I had every intention to help women that felt like
I did. I had that north star, I knew what
I was trying to do. I gave it my all
and so if now no one likes it, I'm not
going to feel badly about myself because I showed up.
And that's the thing, Jain. No one can affect whether
you show up or not. Hit about the failure and successes.
No one can affect whether if you showed up or

(00:21):
the only person that can affect that issue. Hey, everyone,
welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast
in the world. Thanks to each and every single one
of you that come back every week to listen, learn
and grow. Now, there have been very very few guests

(00:42):
that we've had on twice on Purpose, and this is
one of those rare times. And it's because today's guest
is not only an incredible author one of my favorite storytellers,
but she truly is a dear, dear friend. She reminds
me of her home. She's given me a sense of
comfort ever since I moved to LA. She's amazing friends

(01:05):
with my wife, she's a phenomenal interviewer, and so much more.
Of course, I'm speaking about none other than my dear
friend Lisa Billieu. Now, for those of you who don't
know Lisa, Lisa Bellew co founded Question Nutrition, which grew
fifty seven thousand percent in its first three years. She's
also the co founder and president of Impact Theory Studios,

(01:26):
of revolutionary digital first studio that produces wildly entertaining original
content focusing on themes of empowerment. Throughout her career, Lisa
has created a slate of content that's been viewed over
half a billion times, and by overseeing all in house
content development at Impact Theory, she along with her husband

(01:47):
Tom Bellieu, who's also been an amazing guest, have built
a global audience of over seven point five million. As
a host of her own digital series, which, by the way,
if you haven't seen it, you need to go and subscribe.
It's called Women of Impact on YouTube. Go and subscribe.
Lisa spends her days having real, uncensored conversations with the

(02:07):
most inspiring women and as an amazingly inspiring woman herself.
She has written her first book called Radical Confidence ten
no Bs lessons on becoming the Hero of your own life.
Welcome to On Purpose, Lisa, Oh my god, are you joking?

(02:28):
Thank you so excited. Literally, I've been so giddy just
so that we get to hang out, because every time
we try and hang out, like as a double day
or something, there's always one of us. There's always one
of us. There's always one. It's usually Radian Tom. Yes,
actually it's never me, a new chan yet I don't
think it is. Really ones are always trying. We're the
organized ones, let's face it. But no, honestly I was.

(02:50):
I was looking forward to seeing you today as well,
because we always a fun runner together. I'm so proud
of you for putting this book together. It's so hard
writing a book, creating a book, then going out and
sharing the story, then going through the emotions of actually
talking about everything that's in the book, and especially when

(03:10):
it's a book about confidence. Let's start. We know each
other fairly well, but I always feel like I'm going
to learn so much more about you today, which I'm
very excited about. When you were growing up, who for
you did you look at as the epitome of confidence?
Like who was it that you thought or what was
it or was it a character or a role that
you were Like that person seems confident, the person I

(03:33):
admired the most was Jody Foster. Wow. Yeah, I don't
really talk about this much actually, but growing up I
so loved movies. I always like the kid that would
gap at three in the morning and wish one day
I'm going to win the Academy Award for Best Movie Director,
you know, like that was the dream. And so I
really did look at who is in the space that's
doing the things, and Jody Foster always seems so confident

(03:54):
to me. She was in front of the camera, she
was behind the camera, she was writing, she was directing,
she was produced sing and so I just thought, of course,
I know differently now where you see a woman that
always shows up. I just thought, oh my god, she
must have like the most confidence. But in having learned
about her and her story, and you know, she's very like,
very private, and so I dismissed the fact that she

(04:14):
probably wasn't confident but always showed up. And that's kind
of what the book is about, is that you don't
have to always feel confident to show up. So, yeah,
Jodie Foster, I think, yeah, wow, I didn't know that. Yeah,
And I love that. I've heard you talk about that,
and of course you talk about in the book this
idea of how we think we have to be confident
before we do big things. We think we have to

(04:35):
have this courage and bravery before we do big things.
And you go on to say in the book that
I actually know when you do these things, that's what
makes you confident. What was one of the first things
that you started to do or experiment with where you
started to gain confidence or build confidence? So I love
that you said build So I've got a line in
the book it's like, it's like a muscle. You wouldn't

(04:58):
go to the gym and what gluts are still after
doing a couple of squads, right, you wanted to, but
do you get glue to still use your glue? It's amazing,
but you don't just go what you want to, but
you don't. And so that is like with confidence, we
kind of want it already, but if you think of

(05:19):
it like a muscle, you can go and you can
train it. And that's the point is that for me
it became being thrown into the deep end not feeling
like I had any confidence. I was completely insecure. I
was actually very inadequate. So it wasn't even like, oh,
I just you know, I had it, and I was just,
you know, not feeling great about myself. No. No, when
we started quest, I didn't know what I was doing
at all, And so the confidence part came afterwards. It

(05:43):
came as the byproduct of doing things, figuring out, falling
on the floor, getting back up, learning from it, and
then over time becoming competent. And the confidence part I think,
I think it's just we want to feel great about ourselves.
That's it. We want to feel great about ourselves before
we try something. Active is everything? So how do you
shift that? And so how I did it was, instead

(06:04):
of focusing on the confidence, say what is that end goal?
I want confidence to do what? And now once you
have that, then you put in a plant a blueprint
of how you're going to get there, because your confidence
will come after that. I love that. I think you're
completely shifting how people think about confidence because I still
see those things like this is how to be confidence,

(06:26):
stand this way to do this, and those things work
and they're useful, but you're talking about a deeper sense
of confidence. How do you define confidence? And radical confidence? Obviously,
how do you define that? Because I do think you're
encouraging us all to move to a much more deeper
level of confidence. Yeah, I'm trying. Definitely the word confidence.

(06:46):
I do think it's about a feeling. You want to
feel great about yourself before you start something, and radical
confidence is it's not about feeling great about yourself. It's
about how do I get to that end goal so
I can have the life and the dream I've always wanted.
That's it And so it's not going to be easy.
And that's the big part of it. And because it's
not easy, and because you're all the time moving forward,

(07:07):
even when you're scared, you're moving forward, even when you're fearful,
how do you keep moving forward? Now, it's very easy
to say, oh, just do it anyway when you're scared. No. No,
if you've got crippling anxiety, if you're like really feeling
badly about yourself, telling someone to just do it anyway
doesn't actually help. So to me, it has to be
a blueprint if you want to lose weight. Some people,

(07:28):
like my mom, she was so severely overweight. Just telling
her one, Mom, I'll get you a gym membership it
wouldn't have helped. Because she feels so badly about herself.
She doesn't even have the radical confidence to walk into
the gym. So, okay, how do you actually get someone
to take their health or like take those stepping stands.
Maybe right now, all you need to do is put
your shoes by the bed. That's it. That's what you're

(07:50):
going to do. Tomorrow. You're not going to go to
the gym, You're not going to do anything else. You're
just going to put your shoes by their bed. And
then the next day you're going to put your shoes on.
And what you're gonna do is every time you do it,
you're actually going to give yourself a pat on the
back and said, yesterday I didn't put the shoes on,
and today I did. And it becomes these little microscopic
movements towards the dream that you really want, so that

(08:11):
you can build that competence to build the confidence. Yeah,
that I mean, especially that part, the competence to build
the confidence. I completely completely agree with you. I speak
to a lot of friends who have young kids, and
they always they'll always say to me like, oh, my
kid's not very confident and he lacks or she lacks

(08:33):
or they lack in confidence. And when I look back
to being a young kid, I would say I wasn't
confident when I was growing up and I was bullied,
I was overweight, I was one of the end We
grew up in the same area. I was one of
the only South Asian Indian kids in our area, and
so I was bullied for several things. And I would

(08:54):
say it took me a long time before I developed
a sense of confidence. But it was exactly what you
just said. It was building competence that led to confidence.
So my parents forced me to go to public speaking
school built tons of confidence. My parents forced me to
go to drama school, built tons of confidence. So when
they forced me to build competence, that built confidence. And

(09:17):
I think we're so scared that we don't build skills.
We think we can solve how we feel without building
a skill. Does that make sense? Oh my god? One hundred.
And that's part of it. It's like me wanting to
let's say it is getting on stage. I was so
petrified to get on stage. But my goal is impact.
So Tom pulls me aside and he's like, Babe, as
your husband, you've said you want to create impact, but

(09:38):
you keep saying no to these speaking gigs, and so
I'm just letting you know that your actions aren't aligned
with what you say you want in life. So I
was like, okay, oh, how typical time when calling me
on my stuff. So it's like, Okay, I recognize that
getting on stage actually does solve that serve that mission
that I really am like holding my core to. But
how on earth do I get on stage? How do

(09:59):
I build that competence when I just feel so badly
about myself, when I'm so embarrassed, I'm so I'm worried
about falling on my face and like really embarrassing myself,
How on earth do I do that? And it becomes
us that your parents forced you. As an adult, I
think it becomes harder. We get very in our own heads.
And I think you know, as kids, we are easily
You can learn, you can walk, you can tie your shoes,

(10:19):
you learn how to do you don't do it the
first time, but you just take time. But as adults,
we don't give ourselves the grace to go through that
training period. And so for me, and when I'm thinking
about public speaking, I do think about those incremental steps
in order to get there, because I can't just want
to To your point, it's like I can say I
really want this, but to so many people that it's

(10:41):
just not enough. It's like it's that isn't enough to
actually get people to act on their dream Yeah. Absolutely, absolutely.
Now what I love about the book, and I do
recommend everyone goes and grabs their copy. It's called radical confidence.
I'm speaking of leastabiliu ten nobs lessons on becoming the
hero of your own life. Make sure you go grab
a copy. We've got it in the subject area, We've

(11:02):
got it in the comment section everywhere. I love books.
I love content that has lessons and the fact that
you have ten in here makes it very simple and
I love that. And I want to dive through a
little bit of these so everyone gets a feeling of like, oh,
I need to, you know, go and dive into that chapter.
First of all, you say your dreams are a gamble
bet on yourself. And the one that I loved out

(11:24):
of all of these was I can stop making excuses,
because I think there are a lot of excuses. Where
do you think those excuses come from? What were some
of the excuses you've told yourself, and what are some
of the excuses you hear that other people are telling themselves.
Great question, and I just want to say, sometimes here's
a problem with the excuses. Sometimes they're real, that's the problem. Sometimes, yes,

(11:46):
you have every reason to say I can't do I
don't have the time. Jay, shit, how busy you do? Right?
How busy? Oh? My? I think I work most days
seven am till like ten pm. Yeah, that's insane. So
let's say something comes to you. You can easily say, well,
I don't have time. Is that an excuse or a
valid reason? It's true. But now if it's getting in
your way of your dream, how do you see it?

(12:08):
There's an excuses or is a reason. It's like everyone
makes their decisions, right, so you would make the decision
say I can't do that because I'm too busy. To me,
that's a decision that you've made, yes, And so for me,
the excuse is to look at your reasons why you're
not making the moves that you want to or that
you say you're going to write them down and then
with no judgment. You can hear me say that a

(12:29):
lot because I used to judge myself and it's the
judgment that would hold me back. So writing down all
those reasons, let's say, you've got your goal, why aren't
you there? Yeah, So my goal was I want to
make movies. That's where me and Tom we first got married.
Tom was going to go out make enough money, and
I was going to support him at home. It's just
going to be free year. So one year turns into
two years, turns into three, turns into four, and so

(12:50):
I start losing all my hopes and dreams in that period.
And the excuse I kept making to myself is where
we still don't have the money yet to make movies.
And that was the reason that I was that we
weren't making movies. Now, if I'd stepped back, said, okay,
my goal is to make movies. What are the reasons, Well,
I don't have enough money. Is that a reason or
an excuse? If you drill down, it's an excuse because

(13:12):
I could make a short movie. I could make a
two minute film that it's shot on my iPhone that
costs nothing. But in my head I had so stuck
to the big dream of making a te hundred million
dollar movie that every time I wasn't even taking one step,
I kept using the excuse that I didn't have money.
I kept using the excuse that we didn't have the time,

(13:33):
that I was all hang on them. In fact, here's
a perfect excuse that I wonder if your audience will
resonate with. We used to say, like Tom would go
out to work, and it's like, why wasn't I, like
really moving towards my dream, my goal? And as we
started to build QUEST, as it was getting more and
more successful, I was like, well, I can't focus on
QUEST because I still have to do all these things

(13:54):
at home. I can't put all my time in there
because it's left to do the laundry I still left
to cook. I was that a reason. I was an excuse.
Some people will say, of course you have to do laundry,
that's a very valid reason. Now here's the thing that's
a choice. You don't have to do laundry. And I
used it as an excuse time and time again of

(14:14):
why I wasn't moving towards my dream. Because the truth was,
when I finally realized it was an excuse, I sat
down with Tom and I said, baby, I love you
more than life itself, but I don't want to cook
for you anymore. I don't want to do your laundry anymore.
And so if I get time, I'll do it. I'll
do it maybe every three weeks. And so he's like, baby,
to see you happy. What kind of husband would I

(14:35):
be to say that I need it my underwear cleaned
because out of your your happiness. And so one day
I literally didn't do the laundry for so long. He's like,
all right, baby, I'm out a laundry, so I guess
I'm going to work commando. And he actually went to
work without underwear. So you can see how one time,
once upon a time, I had the mindset that doing

(14:56):
the laundry was absolutely part of how you should live.
But by removing that as an excuse and saying, hey,
this actually is getting in your way of your dream
and your goal, remove it. And now where did it lead?
The husband went to work commando and I didn't think
twice about it. Why because I was working on my dream.
I love that that's such a great example, because you're

(15:18):
so right that often your excuse can be real, but
it can still be an excuse. Yeah, And I love
the idea you gave about making movies too, because I
do think we have the big dream and we don't
see this small step and the way you describe. That
to me made so much sense because I was speaking

(15:38):
to someone recently and I was telling them about when
I moved to LA and they've just kind of moved
to LA and they're starting out and they're at film
school and it's early days, and I was just saying that,
you know, when I came to LA, there's so many
things that I still want to do that I haven't
done yet. But if I just wanted to do those things,
I wouldn't have built everything else. I don't want to

(16:00):
be someone who just has a big dream. I want
to be someone who's doing lots of small things towards
that big dream. And I think sometimes the big dream
cripples us and we keep pushing it off, and we
keep saying, oh, no, well, like you said, I don't
have a hundred million dollars, how am I making a movie.
We're living in this amazing time where anyone can make
a movie for very cheap, for free even, and it's

(16:23):
incredible to think about it that way. So I'm so
glad you've written about that. And in the book, just
so everyone knows, Lisa goes through in chapter one, she
goes talks about how you can dream big, how you
can change your life, how you can bet on yourself.
I literally just picked out one thing from one chapter
that I find interesting because I find that excuses keep

(16:44):
growing no matter where you're at, no matter where you're at.
And what I've realized for me is that my excuse
is based on a season. So right now I'm in
a season of writing. My book comes out next year,
my second book, and I know that when I'm writing
my book, all my creative energy goes into writing a book.

(17:05):
So I know that I can't really do many other
things that are highly creative because all my energy goes
into the book. But as soon as my book time's over,
I now get all this new creative time back and
I can do a lot of stuff. So during this period,
I accept that my excuse is true that I can't
do much more. But once that's over, now I know

(17:25):
I can go off and do other things. Yeah, and
I would. Actually then when I come to that conclusion,
going oh, Okay, this excuse makes sense based on what
I'm trying to do, EI then flip and go cool,
this is now longer excuse. It's a reason. Yes. And
so because here's what I like to I actually like
to call myself on it. So at least you're using
that as an excuse, and so I want to make
sure that I'm always defining that word that gets me

(17:45):
the emotion I'm trying to feel to propel me forward.
I love that. That makes so much sense. Yeah, exactly,
And that's what You're right. It's not an excuse, it's
a reason. Yeah. I love that all right. Rule two
is called make up your mindset. And the one that
I loved out of all of the sections of this
chapter is I can get good at anything. Yeah, I
love that mindset. Can you tell me about something that

(18:07):
you were once terrible at that today you would consider
yourself to be fantastic at. And I know you won't
hold back because I know we both agree that it's
so easy to like, never accept that we actually got
good at anything. But I'm hoping everyone and I'll do
the same. When you hear me and Lisa own that
we're now good at something, please see it as a

(18:28):
sign for you to own your own growth. Because we
live in this world where we judge ourselves when we're losing,
and then we judge ourselves when we're winning, and it's
so important to lose judgment at both times. So true. Yeah,
I being the stay at home wife for eight years
being thrust into question nutrition. I was just helping out
the husband. I'm a good quek wife. I'm going to
help the husband out. What do I need to do now?

(18:50):
I didn't have any skill sets in building a company. Zero.
I knew how to be a great wife. I knew
filmmaking because I went to film school for it, and
I knew how to take care of my two dogs. Husband.
That was like my skis, It's pretty not too bad.
But when you go into a startup company, every single
day I was faced with things. I had no idea
to the little things of a palette. I was shipping

(19:13):
bars off my living room floor. We grew at fifty
seven thousand percent, so literally within a few weeks, a
few months, I'm shipping out twenty boxes, and so the
ups guy comes along and he's like, yeah, I can
actually take a lot more if you put everything on
a palette. I was too embarrassed to admit I had
no idea what a palette was. So it's like, okay, great,
thanks mate. You know, when he drives off, I run
back to my computer and typing Google what on earth

(19:33):
is a palette? You know? And then the image comes
up like, oh yeah, I kind of know what those are.
Where do I get one from? How much do they cost?
So I literally just keep typing in where do I
get one from? How much do they cost? And that's
the sort of thing that started to build my self
esteem around being the person that configure it out, not
the person that knows everything. And it becomes such a

(19:54):
safe place for me because now I don't worry about
not knowing something. I just if I have the mentality
and the ethos that I can figure it out if
I put the time and energy into it. Some things
may take a second what is a palette? Some things
may take two years. But regardless, if I believe I can,
I can actually take the steps forward. But I believe

(20:14):
I can't, I'm not going to. And let's face it,
so many people are also there to be ready to
tell you what you can't do. Yeah, So that's why
you have to believe in yourself that you know how to,
because you can very much get influenced from the outside world.
Like one of the very early days, I don't know
if you know this story, actually one of the very
early days of QUEST, we had like Justin Bieber's cousin

(20:34):
was like contacted Quest and so they're like, oh my god, Lisa,
we can get Quest a bus to Justin Bieber. But
here's the catch. He's in the Bye and you've only
got like twenty forty eight hours to get it to him.
And everyone's like, but it's impossible. Everyone said it's impossible.
I called up my UPS guy. They're like, it's impossible.
It's a food product, it's the Bye, it's important, it's
like all this like logistics. And in that moment, I

(20:57):
was like, no one's going to fight for your dream
more than you. So of course my request to my
even the UPS person, I'm making his life harder. So
when he sees the hurdle or he's like, is impossible,
but no one will fight for your dream more than
you will. So I didn't take impossible as an option.
I didn't know what I was doing. I figured it out,

(21:18):
and so I literally said, Okay, if you're the person
that figures it out, what would this look like. Don't
take no for an answer. Ask questions, Ask boat loads
of questions. Instead of feeling badly about myself for not knowing,
just keep asking so I would get on. I'm just oh, okay,
you can't help it. Can I speak your manager? Please?
Manager comes up. It's impossible. Can you explain to me why? Well,

(21:38):
because of the customs, all right, what if? What if
I overpaid customs? Well, but what about this slip? Well, okay,
I'll just fill out the slip in advance and I'll
be up at three in the morning in case it
gets out, I'll be on call. Like every time there's
a problem, do you have a way to think around it?
And it's not that I knew what I was doing.
That's the key. Is that I just had the mentality
that no one's going to fight for my dream more

(21:59):
than me, and I'm not going to take no as
an answer. And because of those things, I ended up
figuring it out, and I end up getting bars to
JB in time. I don't know if he actually ever received.
That's the heart baking thing. It was like I got
confirmation they arrived at his hotel. And to me though,
that was the thing I held onto that no one
thought it was possible. All the experts thought it was impossible.

(22:21):
I didn't know what I was doing, but I went
in there as the learner and said, Lisa, you're going
to figure it out. I love that story. Do you
know why? Because it's so practical, Like it's so tangible.
It's not like this ethereal dream that you made come true.
It's literally like, we need to get these bars from
this country to this country. And you can see all

(22:42):
the steps it takes, and you can see every moment
where you could have just gone, can't be bothered now,
And that's literally the only thing. And actually whether he
got it or not is irrelevant to the fact that
you were able to figure it out. Yes, And it
shows that now you can apply that to anything big
or small, And now you are applying it to movies

(23:02):
and comic books and you know, whatever else it may be.
But it started off by just trying to get a
bar from one country to another. I honestly hope that
everyone's listening and watching. The reason why I love Lisa's
examples is because they're just so tangible, they're so real,
and I think sometimes it's like, maybe you're listening right
now and you have a company you want to start,
or you have a podcast you want to launch, r

(23:24):
you have a YouTube channel, that's in your head, and
it really is as simple today as going on Google,
typing it in and trying it. And I think the
biggest mistake that Lisa, I want to hear your take
on this is I think we often try things too slow,
and therefore the results are more painful to accept. I'll

(23:46):
give you an example of what I mean. If I'm
interested by something, Let's take something like what you just did.
If you took three months to type in what's a palette,
then three months later you'll figure out how much they cost,
and then three months later maybe the prices go up,
and now in twelve months you're going, oh, well, I
guess that wasn't useful. Whereas if you go back that

(24:09):
day like you did, and then you went to research
how much they cost, and then you research the budget
and everything else that you did, you learn it so
fast and now you can take action so often. What
I think is that we need to experiment more often,
as opposed to like trying to make something happen over
a year. If you try and do it in an hour,
you'll actually more likely to learn and grow rather than saying, Okay,

(24:30):
I'm going to spend ten minutes on this every week.
If you can spend an hour on it this weekend,
you probably make a bit more growth and you'll feel
more momentum. I don't know what your thoughts about one
thousand percent. I think the reason why people don't know
is they fear not being perfect. Yeah, so they're like, well,
let me just figure it, like, let me take the
stepping stimes, let me process it, let me and I

(24:51):
actually get it that fear really can stop so many
of us. But that's why I have the identity of
being the learner, of being the person actually, you know what,
I don't know this today and I don't judge myself
for it, but I can learn. And it's that if like,
what is that goal? How do you keep moving forward?
And then the fear part, that voice in the head

(25:12):
that I took I very much talk about, is telling me, well, Lisa,
you don't know what you're doing. Well, Lisa, you know,
who do you think you are? Like, you don't have
any you know, expertise in this area. But if I'm
then bypass it by being like, oh no, you don't
know anything, so hey, you should learn, you know, It's
like bypass that voice to then get you to act,
and then in that action you then feel the competence

(25:34):
that then builds the confidence to then keep going. But
it is that starting point that is very fearful and
so recently in fact, I don't know how you felt
in like launching a book and stuff like that. And
we're very creative, so as part of the creative I
get very hypo microscopic on everything. It's like that's not
good enough, No, that's not right. And I realized I

(25:55):
was actually holding myself back because to your point, like,
I wasn't just like learning from it. I wasn't just
putting things out. And so I ended up sitting down
and saying, Okay, right now, this fear of like trying
to be perfect is actually holding your back. I don't
judge myself for it, but I say, how do I
overcome this feeling? Because I can't force myself not to
feel it, So I have to come up with a plan,

(26:17):
a tactic to overcome the way that I'm handling it.
So I sat there and I was like, oh, I'm
looking for perfection. Does perfection help impact people with this book? No? Okay, great,
So how do I overcome this? I need to be
deliberate not perfect. Hey, that's actually really strong. That really
hit me. Be deliberate. How do I remind myself that

(26:38):
in moments? Because we all have habits, So the habit
of me right now is to be perfect. So how
do I overcome this habit of being perfect? Okay, I'm
going to put in my phone in something I call
in my own in the book, it's like phone roulette.
So it's actually you've got this roulette, but you put
a message in your phone, you close your eyes and
you spin the time, and you close your eye and
you don't know what time you've said it. And the

(26:59):
whole point for this is to keep reminding yourself in
random moments of the message. You're trying to become a
habit in your mind. So I put in be deliberate,
not perfect, and I did the roulette, and I did
it for about three weeks. And after that I don't
need anyone Now. Every time something comes to me, I
just go, okay, I want to be deliberate, not perfect. Okay,

(27:19):
yea great, this is good to go. Wow. So wait,
you choose the message yeah, and then you put at
random time yeah, and then your phone will buzz at
that time and remind you of that message that you
put in. Yeah, and I don't know what's so cool,
and I don't know when it's going to go off. Yeah,
so look, sometimes it goes off at the worst time,
when you're in an interview dation. Right. But I did

(27:40):
this once for cool. Yeah. I did it once as
a name to experiment because I am always going I
don't judge myself for how I feel, but I don't
accept that as an excuse. Yeah, so, okay, this is real.
Don't feel badly, but what are you going to do
to overcome it? So that was one of those things
I was actually really scared for Ted talk. This is
actually how it has started. I was so scared about

(28:01):
getting in fun on stage, and I had all these
like tactics, Okay, I'm going to have a blueprint, how
do I think about it? How do I turn up?
What's my wonder woman cuffs? Like all these things of
how am I going to get on stage in the
first place? And part of that ritual leading up to
it was I did a little you got this, and
I did a little muscle emoji and I closed my
eyes and I spun it. Now, sometimes it happened in

(28:21):
like when I was peeing, you know, like it's like
not a great time, but it really really worked, Like
it hit me so hard. And in moments when I
was practicing for my speech, I didn't realize that it
went off. So now here I am practicing, I'm reading over,
I'm getting in my own head, I'm getting tense. I'm like,
oh my god, can I do really do this? The
alarm happened to go off at that time. So now

(28:41):
I'm like, ah, yeah, I do get this, Lisa. So
now I go back and it becomes this little reminder
your own cheerleader. Wow, I love that idea. That's such
a cool that's absolutely brilliant. And also that statement be deliberate,
not perfect. Yeah, I think it's such a great mantra.
And I'm going to be honest here as well. So
I really dislike the cover of my book, my first

(29:03):
book that I did. I really dislike it. And I
was forced into having to pick and decide because of time.
And so I when I was writing my first book,
I was so absorbed in writing it. I didn't really
have time to think about the cover. We got to
finish writing it, and then I was told I need
a cover and testimonials within the next two weeks. And

(29:24):
I didn't know anyone who designed book covers at the time,
and so I was scrambling to do that, and I
was trying to get the testimonials from people, and asking
for testimonials, as you know, is a tough thing to do.
And she's like, Okay, well, now I've got two weeks
to ask someone for something. So I'm doing this, and
then all of a sudden, then they're like, oh no, no no,
now we've got to just go with this cover and
we're going to design it. And I really don't like it. Now,
you know, it didn't impact the book in the sense

(29:45):
of it's been wonderful to see the book out there.
And I hope people can sense my intention. I think
that's what I always focused on as my intention is
I just want to serve through this book, and people
can feel that. But I give myself the grace in space.
That was my first book. I didn't know the process.
I didn't understand this time. I've handed in my first

(30:06):
manuscript and I'm working on the yeah, and it's like
it's okay, And that's like, you know, and the reason
why I'm sharing that is people may look at my
first book and of course it's sold really well, it's
done really well, whatever, and it's like and people may
just be like, oh, Jay, you just nailed it, and
I'm like, but even I don't feel I nailed it,
like I didn't because there was a part of it
that I would have wanted to improve. Yeah, you've got
an epic thank this. Look at this radical confidence round covered.

(30:31):
It's so beautiful, it's amazing. And I think that what
we have to realize is that as creators, will always
be critical of our own work, even when no one
notices it. And so I wanted everyone to hear that
that you're doing that, I'm doing that, We're all doing that.
So if your first episode of your podcast isn't great,
you've got a second one. If the first video on
your YouTube channel is not great, there's another one. Like

(30:52):
there's always another tape. Yeah, And I love the critical
part of it because what you're doing is, yeah, you're
being critical about yourself, but you're not letting it stop.
You move forward. And that's the key. It's like, I
don't always just go yeah, Lisa, you've got this, Like no, no,
I definitely assess like I am critical of myself. I
do like to reassess, but I'm at the stage at
least in my growth that I don't let that stop me.

(31:13):
And in the past it would. In the past, I
would look at something that I've done and I would
be so critical of it that I would beat myself
up so much that it stopped me from moving forward. Yes, yes,
I think that's a really good clarification as well. And
I think deliberate not perfect is such a brilliant montry,
So I love that, all right, going on, I love
this one. Validation is for parking. I was like, I

(31:36):
love parking validation, but yes, validation is for parking. The
one that I love about this one is I can
validate myself. Yeah, I think that's been such a big
lesson for me. What is something you think you constantly
wanted other people to validate you for? What is something
that you've always seeked external validation? Forward? That took the
longest journey. Oh, that took the longest journey. That's interesting.

(32:00):
I think that there's still a part of me that
kind of I think that maybe, and maybe I'm wrong,
but this seems like there's a part of everyone that
still wants to be validated, and it's just instinctual. So
going back to I don't judge myself for it, but
I know it's unhealthy. So in fact, here's a perfect example.
It's not really answering your question, but it kind of
is with the book I was. Originally when someone offered

(32:20):
me the book deal, the very first words out of
my mouth were who would buy a book from me?
So there's the insecurity. So I'm like, Lisa, Ah, that
fourteen year old girl is still inside do it's okay?
You know, like she still does exist. That's okay, But
I'm not going to let her hold me back. So
I start writing the book. Now, in writing the book,
I start to go, oh, I really want a New
York Times number one, right, like we've all got so many,

(32:41):
like your book is amazing and everyone, and so it's like, oh,
I've got a goal. I'm still got a good I
think you know, I'm a busy entrepreneur. So I set
my goal. I set where I'm trying to go, and
I moved deliberately towards that. Now here's the thing, what
if I don't reach it does mean not getting there?
Now mean that the book's no good. And I realize
the danger of looking for external validation for the work

(33:03):
that you do and the way that you show up.
And now the only thing that I can do is
do the foundation works so that when that happens, the
instinctual part of Lisa doesn't come out. And so what
I said is what's my north star? Why did I
actually write this book? Yes? I have the goals, but
I don't want the goal without you're actually creating impacts.
So let's say I want New York Times, right, but

(33:23):
does it actually create impact? That's my north star. That's
the big, big thing that I'm going towards. So how
are people going to respond to it? Okay, yes, of
course I want it to create impact. But what if
it actually doesn't impact anyone? Jay? What if everyone hates it?
That's a big possibility. When I was writing it, I
didn't know. And so what am I going to do
to make sure that I still feel validated and that

(33:44):
I still feel my worth? And so I said, what
am I going to do? Now? Number One? Do you
give it your all? Because and here's the thing. When
I say that, you know everyone at home, you know
if you've given it all, you can tell other people
you have, but you really know? So am I going
to give him my all? Yes? Or no? Yes? Great,
that's going to be a metric I'm going to go by.

(34:05):
If I gave it my all, I've got nothing else
to give. Am I going to learn from this experience
if it does badly? Yes? Did I have beautiful intentions? Yes?
Am I going to really if it fails, not beat
yourself up? But are you absolutely going to take a
hard look and identify all the things that you think
that you failed in? Yes? Great, Now I can move forward,

(34:29):
move forward, And if it doesn't do well, I've got
those bullet points that I'm going to go back to
and say, I had every intention to help women that
felt like I did. I had that north star, I
knew what I was trying to do. I gave it
my all, and so if now no one likes it,
I'm not going to feel badly about myself because I
showed up. And that's the thing, Jack. No one can

(34:50):
affect whether you show up or not. Get about the
failure and successes. No one can affect whether whoever's listening
at home if you showed up or not. The Only
person that can affect that is. I love that, and
that's actually what needs to happen before we start any journey.
And I think a lot of society has made us
focus on the goal. So it's like, what's your goal,

(35:12):
where do you want to be? What's the output, what's
the result? And what you've just described is the input.
It's what you're bringing, it's what you're focused on. And
I think that's one of the biggest mistakes of goal
setting is that goals are just made up targets. They're
just made up targets. They're just random things, and it's
like they're nice, they're cool, but they don't make you happy. Because,

(35:36):
by the way, even the people that reach their goals
are not happy because it's never satisfying. It's like, Okay,
we got to this goal, but now we didn't stay there,
or we got to that goal, but we didn't get
the next time or this time. We hit that goal constantly,
but I'm still dissatisfied because I became lonely in the process, right,
So there's always something else around that goal. So it's

(35:57):
not only the people that don't make their goals that
are not happy, it's also the people that make their
goals that are not happy because it's not about the goal, yeah, exactly,
And the result is never guaranteed either. So it's like,
what are you going to do? Work hard for something,
pour your heart into it, and only feel good about
yourself whether it succeeds or not. It's just not sustainable. Yeah.
And so to me, that's what I look at. What

(36:18):
is sustainable for me to keep showing up for the
rest of my life? Yeah, And that's like when I
think about, oh, if I'm looking at the results, it's
not sustainable in the year, in two years when I
crash and burn, because look, when you try anything new,
the chances are you're going to fail at it at
some point, yea. And so if I'm failing, how do
I keep getting back up? It's that precise thing. Yeah,

(36:39):
I love that principle. I think that's just so huge
because I just think we as a society constantly forced
people to set these big dreams, goals and targets that
are arbitrary to our actual joy and happiness, Like they
don't actually connect to feeling good, yeah, even if you
make it right. And so I think that's the biggest one.

(36:59):
All Right, I want to go through a few more
of these because there's so many good ones. I'm skipping
a few chapters because I want you to get the
book and read it. But there's a few things that
I want to talk about. Okay, this one's a big one.
This is chapter seven, which is called Toughen the f
Up butter Cup, and it says I can stop saying
I'm sorry. Yeah, this is huge, like the amount of

(37:22):
people that constantly feel that they have to stop saying sorry.
What are some of the things that you hear a
lot in this space of things that people apologize a
lot for? So I also want to put a little
asterisk to that because in the book, I actually I
think it's like the first line is guys stop apologizing,
and yet guys always apologize, because that's the thing. A
lot of what I say like feels like almost sometimes contradictory.

(37:45):
But look, I think that the message of just stop
apologizing isn't actually accurate. Yeah, because if it's like, if
you're up your set your friend, and you're the one
that is the person in the foot, you should apologize,
like you know, I like, if I've said something that
really that has up set Tom, and it's like, Okay,
I didn't mean to upsay him. Of course you should apologize.
So I never want people to think that apology is

(38:06):
a bad thing. The problem is we apologize so much
that what is doing is it's telling you that your
opinion isn't valid. So, like I think the example I
given the book is like, let's say, for instance, I
choose you know me and very much like your self
care is very important. I must take care of myself
first before I show up for anyone else. And with
how much we work, I burnout, and so I need

(38:28):
to make sure that I don't go to that burnout.
So sometimes I get invited to a lot of amazing places,
and I know in that moment it's I have to
actually choose self care. Now. If I'm apologizing for putting
myself first subconsciously over time, what is that doing. It
may not seem like it in the moment. I just
think when you keep having that repetition in your head,
that voice, that mindset that you're always apologizing for putting

(38:51):
yourself first, it becomes detrimental to you. And so for me,
I was like, I'm no longer going to apologize for
putting my self care first. I'm always going to be
very respectful. It's never like, well, you know, I f you,
But it absolutely is. How you use language makes a difference.
The language you use, And that's really the big key
thing in all of this. If you say the word sorry,

(39:14):
is that actually authentic to you? Or are you dismissing
something that's actually very important to you, like self care.
So if someone invites me out, I won't actually if
and I'm doing self care and said, I actually won't
say I'm sorry, I'll say, oh my god, I really
hope you have an amazing time. You know, let me
know how it is. But right now, you know I'm
unable to attend very politely. But I just don't use

(39:36):
the word sorry. Yeah. No, I think that's huge because
what you said is over time, what we're basically saying
is we don't think we deserve that, yes, or that
what we're doing is wrong. Yes, right, that's what you're saying.
If you're saying sorry like you define the word, you're
like saying I'm wrong. That's why I'm sorry. I'm wrong
in not wanting to come out with you. But you're
not wrong. Yeah, you just want to do something that's

(39:58):
right for you. Yeah, and it just then reinforces, right,
because like like repetition creates habit, and I'm so aware
of that of how the words I use affect how
I show up. So like, if you can I share
a story, yeah, I'd love to you. Am I always
love hearing you said, yeah, go for it. There was
this one time on one vacation and I'm standing in

(40:18):
line and I don't make you. I get very chatty
in line on vacation. I would so this is woman behind.
When we start chatting, She's like, oh, what do you do?
So I start telling all the things you know that
you know quest and impact theory and women have impact.
And eventually I was like, okay, I'm talking a lot.
It's like, oh, what are you doing? She goes, Oh,
I'm just a mum, just a mom. Just I was,

(40:41):
and I was like, well, what do you mean. She goes, oh,
we'll have three kids at homeschool, but I'm just a mum.
She was so downplaying her achievements by using the word
just now. It may not seem like a big deal,
but imagine she says that to herself over and over again.
She's really invalidating how much she's bringing to the table.
And so in that moment, I was going to help

(41:01):
myself check. I was like, I'm so sorry, but you
just said just I was like, you're doing this incredible.
I was like, you're bringing up the next generation and
you're doing a three children homeschooling. I was like, so,
I was like, that isn't a Just as soon as
I said that, her demina changed. She starts glowing, talking
about all the classes, all these new tests that she
was trying on her kids to see what would work

(41:23):
and what didn't. In just in removing the word just
changed how she saw herself. And that was just one
word in one moment. Now, think about the words we
use in our own head over and over and over again. Yeah.
And I think that's the point that in that moment,
you'd only heard her say at once yes, but she's

(41:44):
heard herself say it every day, where whenever she meets
someone who is externally doing more right, I've got more
externally quote unquote more quote unquote, because it's her person option,
she is then looking at herself as less than every

(42:05):
single time, because society has made some things feel like
more and some things feel like less. But in that moment,
you've reminded her that actually what she's doing is unique,
it's beautiful, it's wonderful. And I think that's what I
love about what you're saying about language, because I do
think it's so easy because we've created this hierarchy of

(42:26):
first and second. You think about it, someone might have
just broken the world record and come second, but someone
broke the overall world record and came first. Yeah. Right,
you both may have beaten the most latest world record,
but except you're not looking at it. You're looking at going,
I came second, but you also just did something amazing.
And even in that example, whereas yeah, I think it's

(42:48):
I think language is really interesting, and I think the
way we talk to ourselves is really interesting. And I
do believe that it's always going to be a balance
of you don't want to lie to yourself. Of either way,
I think that's the problem. Right, Both of them are lies.
Saying to yourself I'm the best in the world and
I'm better than everyone, that's a lie, and saying I'm

(43:09):
the worst I'm just a mum, that's also a lie.
Neither of those are actually true. Yeah, that's so true,
And we are so conditioned ourselves into thinking a certain
way that it becomes like the belief system that maybe
we don't even question because we don't even realize it's there.
And so that's what I just love about everything we're
talking about. I mean, you know, is it Carol Dweck.
I think it was her that said, just add the

(43:31):
word yet onto a centers. I can't do X, Y
and Z yet it's one word, three letters, and yet
it changes everything of how we perceive that thing. If
you say I can't play the piano or I can't
play the piano yet not in day, Yeah, it changes everything. Everything.
Language changes everything. I do recommend that everyone sits down

(43:52):
and defines the words they use the most in their
life because and chances are, you and your partner, you
and your kids and your parents all have different definitions.
And so you've got to be really careful because you
may have defined your words, you've got to make sure
that their words are aligned or that they have their
own definition that you're aware of. Yeah, because otherwise, when
they say, well, I don't think you've done something significant,

(44:16):
you have to know what you mean by significant others
you're going to take that personally. So I rarely take
people's words personally because I know their definition is not
the same as mine. Oh my god, yeah, Tom and I,
in our marriage we have our own little like Belu
dictionary because for that exact reason, Because if I say
to him, hey, babe, this is really important to me.
I say the word important three times in a year,

(44:38):
so you better believe I want his all attention. I
want him to drop everything. Now. If we haven't had
that discussion and he uses the important four times in
the day, he's like, okay, cool, And now I feel
completely dismissed because I only use it three times. So
there's a weight that I bring to that word, but
he doesn't. Now does that mean that he's wrong and
I'm right? No, it just means to your point that
we have different definitions of what that words specifically meet. So, like,

(45:01):
the one of the worst words that I think it
does detriment to so many people, especially women, is the
word should. That is the word that literally it's like
handcuffs so many of us. I should do this. I
should be a good wife. I should be a good
Greek wife. I should take care of my husband. I
should put his you know, that was what I was taught.
I should have kids, Like it didn't even dawn on
me that I could ask why do I want kids?

(45:23):
Because I just use the word in my head over
and over again. So powerful, And you can make so
many big decisions in life with bad language. Yeah, and
it's scary actually where it can go. And if you're
someone who feels you have done that for a long time.
You can change words, that's the best thing about it.
You can change your definitions, you can change your words,
all right. One more that I want to take that

(45:45):
I love, because this one really really stood out to me,
is I can be too sensitive. I think that's one
that gives a lot of permission because you're a very
practical person. I watch your Instagram stories and you're always
someone who shares what you're feeling. But then you share
what you do about it. Yeah, and so I'll see

(46:07):
you go. I woke up, I didn't want to work
out today, but here I am. Or like you know,
I woke up, my gut wasn't great today, but then
this is what we did. Like, you're very open about
the feeling and being sensitive, but then moving how did
you get good at closing the gap between allowing yourself
to feel and being sensitive to actually taking action. I

(46:27):
think because I didn't do I didn't move forward. I
literally for eight years, you know, my life was what
I feel like was in the pug like that. I
can't even imagine you like that because I've never we
never knew each other. That yeah, we're same. I feel
the same about you when I hear about your your
crazy world boys stories, when you're like you like it
just seems strange, but that just actually is great, right

(46:48):
to show that we really cannibol, we really can change
by making these different choices in our lives. And so
for eight years I was making the same choices to
stay stuck, and so I didn't have that how do
I incrementally move towards my goal? What am I doing today?
And so now I've just because of that, I just say,

(47:08):
the way that I feel right now, does it serve
the thing that I'm trying to do? And so sometimes
like being sensitive can be beautiful, right. It means that
we're in touch with our emotions and that we can
actually feel things. And especially when you're creative, you want
that you need to like go with your heart and
your emotions. But sometimes being too sensitive can hold you back. Yeah,
and I don't beat myself up over it, but I

(47:30):
don't think being too sensitive all the time serves you.
And part of the messaging out there is like, no,
you should be always sensitive, and I just go, look,
sometimes it actually doesn't serve what you're trying to do.
That doesn't mean that you should ignore it. That doesn't
mean that you should beat yourself up over feeling it.
But if I say, Okay, the way I'm feeling right
now doesn't actually help me move forward towards impact in

(47:53):
that fourteen year old girl, Okay, so what am I
going to do? I'm going to feel the feels right.
I give myself the grace and the doll to go. Okay, Lisa,
yes you're here, that's okay. It's like you know that friend,
it's all right. But does this actually help you help
that fourteen year old girl that feels insecure? Does that
help that other woman that you're trying to help? If
the answer is, know what am I going to do

(48:13):
about it? Because sitting there stuck won't get me there again,
I've been there eight years, not moving forward. I know
what that feels like, I know where that gets me.
It's important for me to acknowledge the truth that we
can be sensitive and to just say it's okay all
the time won't actually help. And so that's where it's

(48:34):
like the duality of everything I always talk about becomes
like these dualities, it's like embracing it and then not
accepting it. It's like, I am embrace who I am today,
and yeah, I don't accept who I am today. I
know where I'm trying. I want to get better every day.
I want to improve. So how do you do both
without you lacking the enthusiasm to keep moving forward? And

(48:54):
it always is giving myself the grace that, yes, I
feel like that, I'm not going to dismiss that part
of me that is what makes me me, and yet
I'm not going to let hold me back from the
life I want. I love that. I think you've perfectly
summed up how a healthy mindset can be where it's
not either raw, it's and right, it's both. And I

(49:16):
think everyone's always like, well, should you be really vulnerable
or should you be really like action oriented? And be both? Yeah,
they'll be vulnerable and then take action like should I
be really sensitive and compassionate or should I be really
brave and courageous. It's like be both. It's like should
I be affectionate or assertive? It's like be affectionately, assi

(49:37):
be both? Like you don't, And I think we've just
been brought to believe that everything's either raw. And what
you've just said is no, I can be both. I
can embrace myself and I don't have to accept where
I'm at. Can I make you think? So? Also? Is
your sensitivity actually warranted? Now? What I mean by that
is I still accept it, so I never dismiss it.

(50:00):
But I don't know if he's always warranted. Have you
ever been hungry? Yeah? So literally, just by not eating
you get mad. To think about sensitivity, it's the same thing.
Maybe you're really tired that day, maybe you haven't eaten.
For me, the biggest realization with this whole topic was
middle of my gut issues. I was in absolute pain.

(50:20):
I wasn't eating much, like I could barely eat, so
I was extremely malnutrition, like I was twenty pounds lighter.
And so now I'm in this business meeting. We're at quest.
I'm sitting in front of Tom and there's like maybe
ten other people and me and him start debating something.
Now this is like, I've debated with him so many
times up to this point, but because my guard was
hurting me so much, because I couldn't eat and because

(50:41):
I was tired, he had said something and inside I
wanted to burst into tears, and so I was like,
you're not going to cry, Lisa, You're not going to cry.
Meeting goes over and I go into his restroom and
I just stopped tearing up. And he walks in, thinking
that I always had a bad stomach, and he sees
me in tears the first time I'm crying at work
quest so he's really shocked. He's like, hey, what's wrong.
And I was like, you don't mean to me, and

(51:03):
he's like, what is happening right now? I've never said that,
especially at work, And he's like, Babe, I love you.
Could this possibly be because of your health? And of
course I was sensitive, so I was like, don't you
dismiss my feelings, you know, And he's like, I'm not
trying to dismiss your feelings, but let's just take things
right now for how they are. You've never cried at work,

(51:25):
you've never made it personal, never, but even by saying
you're mean to me, it's a personal thing. How many
times have we debated at work, You've never had this
emotional reaction and the facts are, Baby, you're in pain.
So can we maybe just say that right now you
are being sensitive that you may not otherwise feel if

(51:47):
your health was better. Yeah, and so in that moment,
I was like, actually, you know what, sometimes your sevensitivity
comes from something else totally, but you take it personally.
I mean, you're a spot on. I mean genuinely don't
trust myself if I'm hungrier on time, right, Like, I
just don't make good decisions. I don't make decisions. I
don't make choices. I will put something off if I'm

(52:09):
hungry or I'm tired, I will say I'll think about
it tomorrow. I just don't want to make that decision
because I know I'll make poor decisions, let alone with
our feelings and how we treat people. And I can
remember that. Actually, when I was going through health things
as well, I was a lot snappier, I was a
lot more irritable. You were a little too sensitive, Yeah, exactly, Yeah,

(52:29):
would rather I was way more agitated when I was struggling,
because you're really what's happening is all your body's energy
is trying to solve that issue, and so you have
no energy, You don't have any capacity left for the
part that you would usually have a little bit of
resilience to deal with something that's not comfortable exactly. And

(52:50):
now everything that would have just been uncomfortable becomes personal. Yes,
And that's what's happening, right, because you've lost that capacity
for discomfort. And I've realized that many times when I'm tired,
or I'm hungry, or I'm going through something healthwise, I
lose my ability for discomfort when usually I'd be more
than happy to be in discomfort or handle some austerity.

(53:13):
And the fact that you know that about yourself, though,
allows you now to maneuver r It's not that you
dismiss that you're a bad person or that means something
about you. You just know, oh, okay, I'm not in
my full capacity because I'm not. I don't have the
things that I need in order to be able to
handle this and not take it personally. So that's where
in the books, like it's so important for me to say, like, look,
it's like, we don't know I'm sensitive, and you can't

(53:36):
take that away from me. It's like, yes, but does
it serve you and is it actually true or is
it a reflection of other things in your life? I
love that. I love that Lisa. That's such a powerful
and I want everyone who's nose listening and watching that
this book is full of. What I think Lisa does
really well is take on these really complex ideas, simplify them,

(53:59):
but then still deal with the complexity. Right as you
can hear, we're going back and forth on this stuff
because it's not either raw, it's not one or the other.
It's not like here's the one answer that's going to
solve everything. It's actually like really textured and layered and messy,
and you've got to think about it at that level
if you really want to solve it. Because just going
out there and saying just be sensitive to share your feelings, like,

(54:22):
that's only one half of the issue. Yeah, and then
there's all these other layers in between. And so I
think what Lisa does in Radical Confidence is each of
these ten lessons they're going to simply tell you what
to do next, but they're also going to help you
think about how these ideas and as she said at
the beginning, the muscle builds over time. Lisa, thank you

(54:45):
for writing this book. I again recommend everyone goes and
grabs a copy. You won't be disappointed. I genuinely have
always loved Lisa's storytelling ability. You saw it today. She's
able to take you back into a mo when in
time I help you to reconnect with that fourteen year
old girl that she was, to reconnect with the housewife

(55:06):
she was for eight years. You know, all of those
elements in her life, which I think are identities that
we can all relate to at different times in our
own life. At least. Any last words, anything that's on
your mind, anything that's in your heart that you really
want to share, I want to give you the space
to say it. No, just thank you so much for
having me. And you know, you've really been witnessed as
well to kind of me going from behind the scenes,

(55:28):
you know, in front, and Braddy's been doing the same,
Like it's so beautiful to see, like how much you
support so many women in your in your life. So
thank you for being a part of my own journey
and being such a good friend. And you know, my
brother from another mother. You feel like home, dude, And
I just cannot thank you enough for having me. I'm

(55:49):
so proud of you for putting this together because I
just think there's so many people out there who are
struggling with these exact questions, these exact challenges, some of
the ones that I didn't take for anyone who's listening,
because I think you know you'll resonate with these ones.
Just people can relate to this. How can you develop
the mindset to I can set boundaries, I can choose

(56:10):
how I react, I can rescue myself, I can be motivated,
I can boost my confidence. I mean, these are all
things that we all wish we could do. And I
love how the book not only talks about the ideas
in the way you'd expect, but I think you take
this really counterintuitive approach. You're giving more depth on each one.

(56:31):
Thank you, because I think that was actually the thing
that held me back is I would read all these
one things about and I was like, but that isn't
really true to me. How you show up and I
think humans are very you said earlier, humans are complex.
Women were very complex, And so it's not buying there,
It's not one or the other. It's how do you
deal with the beauty that makes up you. Yeah. Absolutely,
everyone makes sure you subscribe to Women of Impact, make

(56:53):
sure you follow Lisa on Instagram, make sure you go
and grab a copy of the book. You won't be disappointed,
I promise, And please do tag me and Lisa on
any social media platform that you use, letting us know
what stood out to you, what connected with you. Maybe
you're gonna take a picture of a page in the
book that really resonated with you, that spoke to you,
highlight it, share it with us online. I genuinely love

(57:15):
to see the feedback. And as you know, I do deeply, deeply,
deeply support my friends who are authors on this podcast
because writing a book is just not easy. When someone's
promoting it and there's lots of cool posters and TV
shows and billboards and all this kind of stuff, it
can look very exciting and it is exciting, but the
journey of writing a book, getting it right, printing it,

(57:37):
getting it sorted, and then taking out there it's a marathon.
So if you ever see me share about books very enthusiastically,
it comes from just knowing that the author's really been
through it to get to that stage. So that's where
my overenthusiasm kicks in, but thank you so much for
listening and watching. Everyone. A big thanks to Lisa for
joining us today, sending you lots of love. Make sure

(57:59):
you pass this onto someone who needs it, and I'll
see you next time on on purpose. Thanks everyone,

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Host

Jay Shetty

Popular Podcasts

24/7 News: The Latest

Therapy Gecko

The Joe Rogan Experience

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Lisa Bilyeu ON: Train Your Confidence like a Muscle & Use These Simple Daily Habits to Succeed in Any Situation