May 10, 2024 • 9 mins
On this episode of Our American Stories, popular social media influencer and mother Tiffany Jenkins talks about her secret to being a mother....(hint: it's not what you post on social media!)
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
And we return to our American stories in our special
Mother's Day celebration. Tiffany Jenkins is a wife and a
mother of three. She's acquired a huge social media following
on her blog Juggling the Jenkins, where her videos received
millions of views. Tiffany wrote a highly successful memoir, High Achiever,
the shocking true story of one addicts double life. Here's
(00:34):
Tiffany Jenkins with the rest of her story and what
it means to be a good mom.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
You know what I want to talk about today. I
want to talk about what it means to be a
good mom. Okay, because listen, if you look on social
media and YouTube. Okay, let's take YouTube for example. They
have tons of videos of families announcing pregnancies to their
loved ones, right, and it's always so joyous and everybody's
so excited and screaming and yelling and they're like, oh
(01:03):
my God, finally, thank you. Look at these little booties.
I'm gonna have a grandkid. Okay, that was not how
my pregnancy announcement went at all. I had been living
in a halfway house for two months and I started
dating this guy and I got an overnight pass. Okay,
one weekend, I got one overnight pass. I'm not gonna
(01:27):
go into detail about what happened on the overnight pass,
but let's just say that two weeks later, my body
started acting a little weird. I didn't have a job
or a car at the time, so I scraped together
some quarters and walked my butt down to the dollar
Tree and bought a pregnancy test. And guess what, there
was a baby at my belly. I took a pregnancy
(01:52):
test in the bathroom of the halfway house I was
living at with six other women, and when the second
line popped up, I collapsed on the floor and lost
my mind. It was not joyous. I was not excited.
I was terrified. Duck. I had just started gaining trust
back with my family. What was I going to tell them?
How was I going to tell the owner of the
(02:12):
halfway house that I abused the one overnight pass they
finally gave me. What was I going to do? I
couldn't even take care of myself. How was I going
to take care of a child? I was terrified. I
prayed out and I said, listen, Technically, physically I know
why this happened, but like spiritually and mentally, I don't
(02:35):
know why this happened. Please help me. What am I
supposed to do? I can't have this baby. And it
was in that moment that I realized suddenly I wanted
this baby more than I had ever wanted anything in
my entire life. I told my sister. She was basically like, Okay,
(02:59):
you're an idiot. I told the owner of the halfway house,
and he could have kicked me out, but he didn't.
He let me live there and pay rent until I
could get on my feet. So I married the man
who got me pregnant five months after we started dating,
and I continued to live in the halfway house up
until near the end of my pregnancy. My recovery didn't
(03:20):
stop just because I was pregnant. I had to keep
working on myself. I got a job, busted my butt,
got a car, we got an apartment, and my son
was born on my birthday. It was the greatest gift
that I've ever received. When my son was six months old,
I found out I was pregnant with the closter. She
burst into the world a cology fury of tears and chaos,
(03:45):
and I got postpartum depression two weeks after she was born,
My bonus daughter came to live with us full time,
and I was battling postpartum depression full on. I went
from being a single, sexy bachelorette living in a half
way house to a married mother of three in the
span of two years. Okay, when it comes to motherhood,
(04:11):
I have no clue what I'm doing. I don't. I don't.
In the beginning, when I was suffering from postpartum depression,
I used to go to social media for support and
you know, to try to see what other people were
doing because I had no clue. And I quickly realized
that it seemed like everybody else had their life together
(04:34):
while mine was crumbling. Everybody's home looked beautiful, while mine
looked like a hurricane just ripped through the living room.
All the moms were posing with their babies, looking so
perfect and wonderful, while I wanted to leave mine in
the crib and run out the front door and never
come back. I can't explain what that did to me
internally as a person. It made me feel like a failure,
(05:00):
made me feel ashamed and embarrassed. It made me feel
like maybe I wasn't meant to be a mom. There
was one day, one day, especially where I resented my
children just for existing. I didn't want to take care
of them anymore. I didn't want to be a mom anymore.
(05:21):
So I called my doctor crying and I said, is
it bad that I don't want the kids anymore? And
they said, come into the office right now, And they
got me in that day, and the doctor and I
worked on a recovery plane for me. Once I started
to feel better, I started to write, and I wrote
(05:42):
for numerous reasons. I wrote because it was a really
therapeutic for me to tell my truth and to get
it out of my head and onto paper. And I
chose to share my writing because everywhere I looked everything
looked so perfect. So I thought, maybe if there's just
one person out there who's feeling the same way as me,
(06:04):
they can read what I've written and see that they're
not alone. And that's where Juggling the Jenkins was born.
A good mom is not measured by her ability to
keep a clean home. Some people have more money than
other people, some people have more possessions than other people,
but none of that matters. Life is going to go
(06:26):
by like this. It's going to be over before you
know it, and I promise you that it is not
going to say anywhere in your obituary her house was
really clean. We got to stop stressing about the little stuff.
We got to stop wasting time beating ourselves up over
the little stuff and start spending more time creating memories
(06:49):
with our kids, taking the places, putting our phones down,
chilling with them, going outside when they come up to
you and they say, Mommy, will you play with me?
Instead of saying just a second, just get up and
play with them, because I can promise you that neither
of you will ever regret that decision. I have to
remind myself of this daily. I'm the queen of in
(07:11):
just a minute, babe, I'm the queen I do it
all day long. So I have to remind myself that
that minute will never come. And I know that and
they know that. So it is up to me to
make the minutes count. Now, what makes a good mom?
I don't think there's one answer. A good mom is
(07:34):
somebody who doesn't spend hours obsessing about how they aren't
good enough. A good mom is somebody who recognizes that
they have a problem and does whatever they can to
fix it, whether it be addiction, alcoholism, anger, depression, whatever
it is, is recognizing that you have a problem, realizing
(07:55):
that nobody's gonna come save you, and doing whatever you
can to make sure that you are the best possible mom. Kid.
Taking action makes a good mom. But it all boils
down to love. Being a shining example to the kids
(08:15):
of what love is about, showing them love and showing
others love as often as possible. That's that's what makes
a good mom.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
And that was Tiffany Jenkins you were listening to. And
what a voice and so straight, straight as an arrow.
And by the way, that line in the beginning, what
was I going to do? I can't take care of myself.
How am I going to take care of this child?
By the way, we're never ready to raise a kid.
I've had so many people say I'm not ready. Well,
(08:51):
you're never ready. And she jumped in and raised this child.
And what great advice and mom's good ones and good
father do this too, show them love and show others
love as often as possible. I have no idea what
I'm doing, she also said, And you know what, none
of us do Mother's Day stories. Tiffany Jenkins' story here
(09:15):
on our American stories,
And we return to our American stories in our special
Mother's Day celebration. Tiffany Jenkins is a wife and a
mother of three. She's acquired a huge social media following
on her blog Juggling the Jenkins, where her videos received
millions of views. Tiffany wrote a highly successful memoir, High Achiever,
the shocking true story of one addicts double life. Here's
(00:34):
Tiffany Jenkins with the rest of her story and what
it means to be a good mom.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
You know what I want to talk about today. I
want to talk about what it means to be a
good mom. Okay, because listen, if you look on social
media and YouTube. Okay, let's take YouTube for example. They
have tons of videos of families announcing pregnancies to their
loved ones, right, and it's always so joyous and everybody's
so excited and screaming and yelling and they're like, oh
(01:03):
my God, finally, thank you. Look at these little booties.
I'm gonna have a grandkid. Okay, that was not how
my pregnancy announcement went at all. I had been living
in a halfway house for two months and I started
dating this guy and I got an overnight pass. Okay,
one weekend, I got one overnight pass. I'm not gonna
(01:27):
go into detail about what happened on the overnight pass,
but let's just say that two weeks later, my body
started acting a little weird. I didn't have a job
or a car at the time, so I scraped together
some quarters and walked my butt down to the dollar
Tree and bought a pregnancy test. And guess what, there
was a baby at my belly. I took a pregnancy
(01:52):
test in the bathroom of the halfway house I was
living at with six other women, and when the second
line popped up, I collapsed on the floor and lost
my mind. It was not joyous. I was not excited.
I was terrified. Duck. I had just started gaining trust
back with my family. What was I going to tell them?
How was I going to tell the owner of the
(02:12):
halfway house that I abused the one overnight pass they
finally gave me. What was I going to do? I
couldn't even take care of myself. How was I going
to take care of a child? I was terrified. I
prayed out and I said, listen, Technically, physically I know
why this happened, but like spiritually and mentally, I don't
(02:35):
know why this happened. Please help me. What am I
supposed to do? I can't have this baby. And it
was in that moment that I realized suddenly I wanted
this baby more than I had ever wanted anything in
my entire life. I told my sister. She was basically like, Okay,
(02:59):
you're an idiot. I told the owner of the halfway house,
and he could have kicked me out, but he didn't.
He let me live there and pay rent until I
could get on my feet. So I married the man
who got me pregnant five months after we started dating,
and I continued to live in the halfway house up
until near the end of my pregnancy. My recovery didn't
(03:20):
stop just because I was pregnant. I had to keep
working on myself. I got a job, busted my butt,
got a car, we got an apartment, and my son
was born on my birthday. It was the greatest gift
that I've ever received. When my son was six months old,
I found out I was pregnant with the closter. She
burst into the world a cology fury of tears and chaos,
(03:45):
and I got postpartum depression two weeks after she was born,
My bonus daughter came to live with us full time,
and I was battling postpartum depression full on. I went
from being a single, sexy bachelorette living in a half
way house to a married mother of three in the
span of two years. Okay, when it comes to motherhood,
(04:11):
I have no clue what I'm doing. I don't. I don't.
In the beginning, when I was suffering from postpartum depression,
I used to go to social media for support and
you know, to try to see what other people were
doing because I had no clue. And I quickly realized
that it seemed like everybody else had their life together
(04:34):
while mine was crumbling. Everybody's home looked beautiful, while mine
looked like a hurricane just ripped through the living room.
All the moms were posing with their babies, looking so
perfect and wonderful, while I wanted to leave mine in
the crib and run out the front door and never
come back. I can't explain what that did to me
internally as a person. It made me feel like a failure,
(05:00):
made me feel ashamed and embarrassed. It made me feel
like maybe I wasn't meant to be a mom. There
was one day, one day, especially where I resented my
children just for existing. I didn't want to take care
of them anymore. I didn't want to be a mom anymore.
(05:21):
So I called my doctor crying and I said, is
it bad that I don't want the kids anymore? And
they said, come into the office right now, And they
got me in that day, and the doctor and I
worked on a recovery plane for me. Once I started
to feel better, I started to write, and I wrote
(05:42):
for numerous reasons. I wrote because it was a really
therapeutic for me to tell my truth and to get
it out of my head and onto paper. And I
chose to share my writing because everywhere I looked everything
looked so perfect. So I thought, maybe if there's just
one person out there who's feeling the same way as me,
(06:04):
they can read what I've written and see that they're
not alone. And that's where Juggling the Jenkins was born.
A good mom is not measured by her ability to
keep a clean home. Some people have more money than
other people, some people have more possessions than other people,
but none of that matters. Life is going to go
(06:26):
by like this. It's going to be over before you
know it, and I promise you that it is not
going to say anywhere in your obituary her house was
really clean. We got to stop stressing about the little stuff.
We got to stop wasting time beating ourselves up over
the little stuff and start spending more time creating memories
(06:49):
with our kids, taking the places, putting our phones down,
chilling with them, going outside when they come up to
you and they say, Mommy, will you play with me?
Instead of saying just a second, just get up and
play with them, because I can promise you that neither
of you will ever regret that decision. I have to
remind myself of this daily. I'm the queen of in
(07:11):
just a minute, babe, I'm the queen I do it
all day long. So I have to remind myself that
that minute will never come. And I know that and
they know that. So it is up to me to
make the minutes count. Now, what makes a good mom?
I don't think there's one answer. A good mom is
(07:34):
somebody who doesn't spend hours obsessing about how they aren't
good enough. A good mom is somebody who recognizes that
they have a problem and does whatever they can to
fix it, whether it be addiction, alcoholism, anger, depression, whatever
it is, is recognizing that you have a problem, realizing
(07:55):
that nobody's gonna come save you, and doing whatever you
can to make sure that you are the best possible mom. Kid.
Taking action makes a good mom. But it all boils
down to love. Being a shining example to the kids
(08:15):
of what love is about, showing them love and showing
others love as often as possible. That's that's what makes
a good mom.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
And that was Tiffany Jenkins you were listening to. And
what a voice and so straight, straight as an arrow.
And by the way, that line in the beginning, what
was I going to do? I can't take care of myself.
How am I going to take care of this child?
By the way, we're never ready to raise a kid.
I've had so many people say I'm not ready. Well,
(08:51):
you're never ready. And she jumped in and raised this child.
And what great advice and mom's good ones and good
father do this too, show them love and show others
love as often as possible. I have no idea what
I'm doing, she also said, And you know what, none
of us do Mother's Day stories. Tiffany Jenkins' story here
(09:15):
on our American stories,
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