July 15, 2023 • 31 mins
OUTWEIGH: Leanne is here today with a follow-up to a topic that Amy and Leanne talked about a few weeks ago. How to have BOTH: a healthy relationship with food and your body AND begin to work towards the goals that are important to you (aka getting stronger, fitter, etc).
In that episode, Amy and Leanne explained that you absolutely can go set goals for yourself, but they invite you to take a sabbatical from typical goal-setting and “go-getting” and go heal your relationship with food and your body FIRST and rewire your brain….and then with THAT new brain and that NEW relationship with food and your body….then head in the direction of body-changing and weight loss or whatever goals you have in mind. But don’t skip over the healing phase.
That being said, it’s also important to talk about HOW to do just that… and what that actually looks like practically (including the “why behind the what”).
In this episode of Outweigh, Leanne shares her journey when it comes to seeing goals AFTER her healing journey. She shares the mistakes that she made, the lessons she learned, and some pivotal advice to take into consideration if you are ready to focus on setting goals again AFTER you’ve healed from your own disorder.
Link Mentioned: Watch the Stressless Eating Webinar where Leanne walks you through her exact 5 Step Game Plan her clients use to heal themselves from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting themselves, punishing their bodies, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) 😉
HOST:
Leanne Ellington // @leanneellington // StresslessEating.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
I'll be outwait everything that I'm made done, won't spend
my life trying to change.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
I'm learning love who I am again. I'm Sean.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
I feel free.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
I know every part of me. It's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
And that will always out way if you feel it.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
But here she'll some love to the vio.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Why get there, say go day and did you and
die out way?
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Happy Saturday, outweigh.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
I'm Leanne Ellington and today I'm here for a solo
episode and it's one that feels really important to share,
but it's also going to set the context for the
interview series we have coming up starting next week, and
then Amy and I will be back with the next
four episodes of Two Things Can Be True at the
same Time, which is all about normalizing the in betweens
(00:57):
and healing from extremism. So if you missed episodes one
through four, definitely go back and listen to those because
we laid out some super powerful distinctions. And to be honest,
I truly believe that breakthroughs come from distinctions and creating
a new found clarity in your brain or seeing what
you might not have seen before. And I know my
(01:20):
biggest breakthroughs and those of my clients came from the
tiniest mindset, tweaks or distinctions in our brains that just
gave us revelation and wisdom and insight. And today I'm
actually latching on to what Amy and I talked about
in the first two Things Can Be True at the
Same Time episode, which was you can be pro body
(01:40):
image and pro self worth and body positive and still
have health goals that you want to reach and so
on that episode, Amy and I came together to share
our thoughts and takeaways on how you can have both
a healthier relationship with food in your body and work
towards the goals that are.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Important to you.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
But we also explicitly explain that, yes, you can absolutely
go set goals for yourself, but we invite you to
take a sabbatical from typical goal setting and go getting
and go heal your relationship with food first, and heal
your relationship with your body first, and rewire your brain.
(02:21):
And then with that new brain and that new relationship
with food in your body, then head in the direction
of body changing and weight loss or whatever goals you
have in mind, but don't skip over the healing phase
or else you will bring all of the old wiring
and any disorder that you might have with you. And
(02:42):
as we've talked about many times, it does not just
go away on its own or heal itself. In fact,
it gets worse and festers if you don't address it.
But when you do go take that sabbatical and heal,
then you can absolutely go focus on some of those
other goals that you might have.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Now.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
For me, if I'm going to make a big statement
like that, I want to share more about how to
do just that and what that actually looks like practically,
but also the why behind the what, which I believe
is actually way more important because I made some massive
mistakes with this, and I perpetuated a lot of my
own suffering.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
But I also learned some.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Life changing lessons along the way that I wish somebody
had taught me when I was in the thick of
my own disorder, or simply told me to be aware of.
And I want to help you learn from my mistakes
so that you don't create any more of your own suffering,
because the struggles and challenges that come alongside this are inevitable,
but the suffering is optional. So I'm going to lay
(03:44):
out some important thoughts and distinctions today and then the
next three weeks we're going to have my mentor coach
and friend, Holly Baxter on here to talk about a
number of these things, but definitely about the specifics of
what it looks like to practically have both and bring
that to life. So just to paint this picture for you,
I've shared before that I had been dieting since I
(04:07):
was super young, and I got taken to weight watchers
at eight years old, and my toxic relationship with food
began and really just got worse from there. Then as
an adult, through some of the right ways and honestly
a lot of the wrong ways, I lost close to
one hundred pounds and I made over my physical body.
But because I never addressed the root cause of my struggles,
(04:30):
I essentially gave myself disordered eating, a horrible self image
and body image. Really this addiction like relationship to food
and sugar and a very punishment driven and dysmorphic relationship
with my body.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
And so here's the part of the story that I.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Didn't share, And this is the part of my story
that for a long time, my own shame didn't allow
me to share. It, even though now I see that
it was probably, you know, one of the most important
legs of my journey. So I I taught the disorder
to thousands of other women. And here's what I mean.
So rewind back many moons ago, when I'm about you know,
(05:10):
four dozen weight watchers meetings into my sophomore year of college,
and I was off to a party with friends, and
my shapewear, which was you know, the spanks of the
early two thousands, was successfully hiding as much of my
body as possible, and my trusty black cart again was
covering up my arms in my stomach, which was exactly
how I liked it and how I planned it. And
(05:30):
I was at my heaviest way ever, you know, topping
the scales at two hundred and fifty pounds, which was
about one hundred pounds more than most of my friends weighed.
But with a couple of corps lights in me, I
really wasn't thinking about that so much so that when
I couldn't find a seat, I planted myself on the
glass top coffee table. I mean, I'd been seeing people
(05:51):
doing it all night, so I just figured like it
could definitely hold me. But as I reached across to
grab my red solo cup of beer.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
I heard a crack.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
And then another one and then another one, and I
remember thinking to myself, Oh my gosh, Len, your fat
ass just cracked the glass. And yes, I know that
was not the kindest words to use to myself, but
that's just how I spoke to myself at that time period.
But I was mortified. My heart was racing, I was sweating.
(06:21):
I thought I might throw up, And to this day,
I don't even know if anyone even noticed, because within
seconds I was up and bolting towards the door, covered
in blankets of my own shame. And I was in
my car driving home, and don't worry, I was below
the legal limit to drive. And this was one of
my rock bottom moments, even though I had quite a
(06:42):
few of them, and even though I look at my
younger self with compassion now, it was one of those
clarifying moments when I realized that clearly things had to
change because I didn't want to live the rest of
my life like that. And again, I want to reiterate,
as I'm sitting here now sharing this with you today,
I absolutely know that the way I was talking to
myself was not the kindest way to talk to myself.
(07:04):
But that's again just the language I was using, and
that's what was going through my mind at the time, because,
needless to say, the identity of fat and yes, I'm
putting that in air quotes, was very deeply ingrained in
my mind and in my self image and more importantly
in my heart. And if I'm totally honest, it was
more than just seeing myself through what I now refer
(07:26):
to as fat goggles, because deep in my bones, I
truly believed that there was something wrong with me, or
that I was unattractive or undesirable or unworthy, and it
was embedded in myself image and it had been for
a long time. And trust me when I say that
stuff doesn't just magically go away if you've been practicing
(07:46):
it in your thoughts and beliefs in self talk for decades.
Now that particular enough is enough point With the table cracking,
it sent me down the road of losing a significant
amount of weight in all the wrong ways and probably
some of the right ways. And that's what really sent
me down the dark rabbit hole of disordered eating and
pretty much everything that we talk about here on this podcast,
(08:09):
which is obviously a much bigger conversation beyond the scope
of today's episode.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
But for the sake of this episode, I'll fast forward
to a few years after the glass table incident.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
So I had lost all this weight and I felt
like a completely different woman, and naturally, all I wanted
to do was help other women feel the way that
I felt. But not wanting to just go get a
quick weekend certification, I went back to school to study
fitness and nutrition and all of that stuff in depth,
so I could actually learn and understand the science behind
(08:42):
all of what I had experienced in my own real
world weight loss journey. A lot happened in between, but
I'll fast forward to a few years later. After I graduated,
I started my own business, and there I was running
my It was kind of like semi famous in Orlando,
but it was called Not your Average boot Camp and
it was a fitness center for women in Orlando. And
(09:03):
so in walks Laura. Okay, she was forty two, overfed, undernourished,
and totally desperate to change. Okay, she was kind of
like the perfect client, you know, enthusiastic, never missed a workout,
followed my nutrition plan, to the tea, and so day
forty two of this six week challenge came around, and
she is beyond thrilled about the woman that she had become. Okay,
(09:27):
she almost didn't even recognize herself in her after pictures.
She was confident, walking differently, talking differently, looking differently. But
little by little that twinkle in her eye fizzled, and
four workouts a week turned into one, and following the
nutrition plan turned into sort of following it, and it
wasn't long before she came in to talk to me
(09:48):
and she was like, LeAnn Leanne, I need another six
week challenge. I can't do this without it. When is
it I really needed? I really need it, right And
in that moment, I kind of felt like I was
talking to an addict that needed her next FIC, you know,
And I could feel myself getting really defensive and irritated.
And I knew in that moment that if I put
her through another challenge six weeks later, we'd be staying
(10:11):
right here all over again. But I took it as
a sign that I wasn't doing enough to help her,
and I took responsibility for her situation, and so of
course I set up the next six week challenge, and
another and another, until one day I walked in to
check in on my challengers and they were now training
with a team that I had hired to work for me,
(10:32):
and I noticed Laura was limping okay, and I vividly
remember her justifications.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
She was like, Oh, it's no big deal.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
You know, I felt of a bit of a twinge
during some lunges last week, so it's probably just from that.
And I'm taking it easy though today and I'm going
to just go a bit lighter. And then she like
looks over at her twenty pound pair of dumbells compared
to the twenty fives that she had been using, because
that was now her idea of taking it easy. And
in that moment, I had a flashback to four years
before that. And in that moment, I had a flashback
(11:07):
to four years before that, where my anesthesiologist had me
counting backwards from one hundred as this surgical team was
getting ready to go in and microscopically remove the calcified
hardened disk fluid that had been sitting on my nerves
for the past eight months. And it's now a procedure
that I endearingly call the cost of skinny because I
(11:28):
was so focused on getting skinny or lean or toned
or hot or whatever words ruled my brain at the
time that I didn't pay attention or just tune into
what my body needed and what my body was screaming
at me to do or in a lot of cases,
to stop doing. And you know, if only I had
listened to the screams from my body to slow down
(11:49):
and chill out, and probably while you're at it, like
go eat more food, lyan, because I really was under eating.
You know, maybe that all could have been avoided. But
I didn't care at the time. You know, I just
wanted to be skinny and beautiful, and in my mind,
no back pain or injury or pesky flare up was
going to stop me until it finally did stop me.
(12:10):
And it didn't just stop me. It landed me on
an operating table at Cleveland Metro for major spine surgery
at the ripe old age of twenty five. And now
there I was watching Laura hobble to her water bottle
during her one minute rest interval, and I knew that
if I didn't do something about what I was seeing,
(12:31):
pretty soon my clients would be paying their own cost
of skinny too, And even though I didn't one hundred
percent know what that would look like, right then and there,
I decided I needed to change everything, and I was
ready to go from you know, the business of the
body to the business of the brain. So fast forward
a couple of years later, and I had finally found
(12:52):
the courage to admit and really act on my truth.
And the truth was I didn't want to be a
fitness expert or a health or obsessed with my body
and every morsel of food that touched my lips. And
you know, I'll be the first to admit I tried
all of those roles on but they all left me either,
you know, living a life and in a body that
(13:12):
made me really unhappy, or living in a body that
kind of pleased me but in a way that left
me really unhappy and totally unhealthy. And so I went
from feeling you know, majorly out of control of my
body and dependencies and addiction like connections to food and
acting with complete disregard for my body for so many years,
(13:33):
to the opposite, you know, restriction control, punishing my body
and convincing myself to do all the things I thought
I needed to do to never go back to my
old ways. But the old stuff never went away.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
I just pushed it aside.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
I locked it up, and I worked my booty off
to stay the course until I finally said, like, I
can't do this anymore. You know, I was nearing thirty
years old, but I knew like if I kept practic
to seeing this way of living and being, pretty soon
i'd be forty and fifty and sixty and bring all
of this with me. And that, honestly just scared the
crap out of me. So I literally just stopped, you know,
(14:11):
and it was I remember, it was kind of like
this spiritual experience for me, to be honest, because all
of a sudden, I started asking myself questions that I
had never even thought to ask, you know, questions that
weren't really even in my consciousness at the time, and
you know, things like what if I just start listening
to my body? And what if I just start listening
to my brain? And what if I just start listening
(14:31):
to my heart? And finally some honest answers came pouring
out of me, and you know, my body basically said,
you know, you're free and lucky. You know all this
beating up and abusing of your body. You know, you're
lucky that spine surgery and feeling like a sugar addict
were the worst of it.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
And you know you've been choosing.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Weight loss over vitality and health and freedom for far
too long, and I'm feeling it. You know, That's what
my body was saying, and my brain was saying. You know,
you're maxed out, and you're over what worked and overtrained
and overscheduled, and on top of that, you're starving yourself
most of the time, and then you're gluttonously overstuffing yourself,
(15:09):
and then you furiously obsess about it.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
And it's almost like I.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Knew that I had it handled for now, but in
the back of my mind, I knew I couldn't keep
doing this forever. Like that's what my brain was saying
to me, and my heart was saying, you know, I'm done.
You know, I'm done thinking about it and worrying and
obsessing over my body and my weight and food and exercise,
and I'm done pumping myself up and trying to be
(15:34):
an air quotes good example to others when you know
what I really wanted was to just enjoy my life
and enjoy food, and enjoy my body and enjoy the
fruits of my labor. And you know, I wanted to
just where would I wanted to wear and be who
I wanted to be and live with freedom and permission
and choice and not all of this obligation, and not
(15:55):
because I felt trapped or afraid of what would happen
if I stopped controlling and restricting myself, Like my heart
was like, I want my life back.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Yep. I know it was a lot, okay.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
But all of that is what I had been suppressing
and stuffing down for as long as I could remember,
and I was just done doing that.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
And so here's what happened next.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
You know, this is when I really started to get
to know my body really for the first time ever.
And I started listening to my body and listening to
my hunger and my cravings, and I started listening to
the pain in my body, and I started listening to
my frustrations and to my desires. And then as I
was listening, I started tuning in. And again this was
(16:37):
a new thing for me at the time, but I
started tuning into my body and my hunger and my
pain instead of just ignoring it and fighting it and
honestly outright abusing it. And here's what I discovered off
the back of just you know, exploring that. First off,
I found that my body needed a lot less work,
not more work. I found that my body needed more food,
(16:58):
not less food.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
I found that my.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Heart in my mind needed more care and less punishment.
I found that my motivation in mojo needed less convincing
and coercing and persuading and more fun and more choice.
I found that my sanity needed less control and more
choice and freedom. I found that I needed less judgment
and criticism and shame and more understanding and compassion. And
(17:24):
that was really what led me into the first part
of my own healing journey, which I had no idea
would turn into a career of helping other women heal
from the same things. And all of the things that
we talk about here on outweigh. So back to two
things being true at the same time, and finding health
and healing and still being able to go find that
next level for yourself afterwards. And here's where I promised
(17:48):
this story will come full circle. So fast forward to
about two years ago, which was October of twenty twenty one,
to be exact when I realized that my fortieth birthday
was coming up in about sixteen months. So naturally it
got the wheels in my in my brain turning, and
I was like forty years old, like where do I
want to be and what do I want to be
able to say about myself? And how do I want
(18:08):
to feel about myself and feel about my life.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
And among other things.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
One of the things that came to mind was I
wanted to be my version of my healthiest, so that
meant mind, body, soul, and spirit, because I didn't want
to buy into the belief that everything goes downhill as
you age. I remember like that was a big part
of my consciousness. But then my mind went somewhere that
it had not gone in a very long time.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Okay, my thoughts.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Started moving towards h I kind of want to feel
like a million bucks in a bikini on a beach somewhere.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
And so sorry, not sorry about thinking that, because I
know it might sound like conflicting or even competing goals
given that, yes, I'm absolutely about you know, self love
and healing your relationship with food and your body, and
to have such an air quotes, you know, frivolous or
superficial goal, but there's a lot more to it than
that for me. And so you know, you see, back
(19:05):
in January of twenty eleven was the last time that
I had a goal even close to that, or that
I was focused on, you know, changing my physique or
looking a certain way in a bikini. And it was
a pivotal experience in my journey, and not in the
roses and butterflies kind of way either. So I was
at a photo shoot for Fitness RX magazine that I
kind of got double dog dared to do. So remember
(19:28):
how I said I was in the fitness industry, Well,
the media kind of ate up the whole you know,
fat girl to fit girl angle that my story gave
them and again their words, not mine, but it did
get me a lot of exposure on the media. And
this time, however, I essentially got double dog dared by
my editor to do a bikini shoot to go along
these like they're kind of doing a before and after
(19:50):
story about me in the magazine.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
So I was at this shoot.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
So I was at this shoot and obviously I'd trained
for it, and all of a sudden, I am racing
to the bathroom in my bikini, no less, but now
with pools of my own tears streaming down my face,
and I didn't know what to do, and at the
time I didn't fully understand, like why was I bawling
my eyes out?
Speaker 1 (20:18):
But with nothing to lose.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
I had to call my editor and just kind of
let her know the exact situation and let her know like, hey,
I think I need to leave because well, I'm crying
my eyes out in the bathroom, okay, And she was
amazing and gracious and gave me her blessing to leave.
But that was the day that I now refer to
as the face off between my fat head and my
(20:40):
skinny head, because that is when I realized that behind
my you know, the toned arms and my you know,
flat tummy and the body that I'd worked so hard
to create, and honestly, I just assumed that would make
all of my problems go away. That's when I realized
that I still had what I call a fat head
sitting on top of that body and seeing myself from
(21:02):
behind those eyes like the self image was fat, it
had nothing to do with my body, right. In other words,
all of that old programming and my beliefs they were
still there in my brain, and they were stronger than ever.
And even though I may have appeared healthy, I was
so flipping unhealthy not to mention all of the disorder
and the dysmorphia and the shame.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
And again, this.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Realization is what further solidified the need for my own
healing and why I mentioned that it's been many moons
since I focused on changing my physique or typical goal setting,
So that is why when my mind went to this
idea of feeling amazing in a bikini for my fortieth birthday,
it was so much more than just that. Okay, I
(21:46):
was now at a crossroads in my journey that I
had never been. I had never actually been healthy, I
mean like truly healthy in mind, body, soul, and spirit,
and felt parallel desires to go up level, which again
I want to recognize that to someone who didn't know
the backstory, it might sound like a conflicting or competing
(22:06):
goal to self love and healing your relationship with food
in your body, and it might seem like a superficial
or vain goal. But this time around, it was different.
Healing and keeping my freedom and my health and appreciation
for my body was priority numero uno. And that's why
I'm so adamant about knowing and believing that there is
(22:28):
nothing wrong with wanting to go up level any area
of your life, and that includes how you feel in
your body, just not at the expense of your health
and not at the expense of your happiness. And for me,
that meant that I had to go discover my version
of balancing those two things and the process of giving
(22:49):
myself permission to allow multiple things to be true at
the same time that I can feel free and at
ease and have this really beautiful peace with my body
and with food, and I can feel accepting of my
body and grateful and super proud of where I am
and where I came from and where I'm going, and
(23:10):
I'm allowed to not feel guilty for wanting to go
up level and feel even more comfortable in my own skin,
despite what a lot of the body positivity world says
about that last one. Right, So I set the following intentions.
I wanted to take the peace and healing and comfort
and safety around food that I had. I wanted to
(23:32):
focus on what I do love about my body and
what my body can and is able to do, and
then just go move it and feed it in a
way that allows me to love, like, and trust and
appreciate it even more and see what it can do
when I approach it in this new way right healthy
and brain friendly, and most importantly, in a way that
(23:54):
I can sustain it, and where that just becomes.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
My new normal more or less.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Right, that is where I had to go learn what
I had not yet mastered. And that's why I'm going
to share a bit more about that journey on the
next few weeks of out way, where I'm actually going
to bring on the amazing woman that I sought out
to work with me to help me make all of
that happen. And her name is Holly Baxter, and she
is going to be coming on here for the next
few weeks, and we're going to walk you through some
(24:20):
really important lessons and distinctions. In the meantime, though, I
want to leave you with my biggest takeaways and honestly
just the lessons I learned from my biggest mistakes that
I made not only on my own journey but working
in the fitness industry with so many other women, and
hopes that it will save you decades of time and
energy and resources and suffering right and really shortcut your
(24:43):
own journey. So lesson number one is play the flipping
long game. Okay, that short term gratification trap is very seductive,
but if you chase the short term highs, you'll pay
for it in the long run. So yes, you know,
set six weeknds six some month goals. But what I
really want to know is you know where do you
want to be in a year or five years from now,
(25:04):
ten years from now, thirty years from now, and more importantly,
who do you want to be?
Speaker 1 (25:09):
What do you want to be practicing? How do you
want to feel? Right?
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Because most women think they do have to make a choice,
like they can either live in a body that they
don't love, or they think they have to hate what
they have to do or who they have to be
or how they have to feel to get the one
that they do want right. But I believe there is
a third option, because you shouldn't have to sacrifice your
happiness for your health or your health for your happiness.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
You can have both.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
And that's why I'm inviting you to have this conversation
now and do it once, but do it right so
then you.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Can just have it forever.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
But as long as you're chasing the short term gratification
trap of losing weight quickly only to gain it back,
or you know, playing the short term gratification trap of
going overboard now to get rapid results, but at the
expense of getting to keep those results in the long run,
and honestly, you know, ending up right back where you
are right now, sometimes even further away. Right That's what
(26:04):
I want you to get really ahead of now. And
one of my favorite quotes that we use in stressless
eating is slow is smooth.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Smooth is fast.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
So let me say that again, slow is smooth, smooth
is fast. And I know to a lot of women
that doesn't sound as sexy as lose twenty pounds in
twenty minutes, like you know Instagram or the Internet is.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Trying to sell you.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
But I promise you what's even less sexy is getting
results now at the expense of getting to keep them
and then ending up right back where you are right now,
or again, in many cases, worse off than you started.
And that's why I encourage you to play the long
game and do the real work and the brain rewiring
that needs to be done now so that you can
(26:49):
have it forever. And then you can focus on those more.
You know, air quote fun goals. Lesson number two, stop
looking for someone else to create your or blueprint. Nobody
can or will be able to give you the blueprint
or recipe that's best for you. You have to become
your own advocate and take radical ownership of your own
(27:11):
journey and outcomes. And trust me when I say, I
used to pray that somebody would come save me or
rescue me, or just tell me what to do. But
that was just keeping me a victim to my own
circumstances because no one can or will give you a
blueprint for what works for you.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
But also, you know, what works for.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
A twenty something on Instagram or someone who has hours
a day to dedicate to their health and fitness will
not work for somebody who is fifty four with hormone
shifting and is in a totally different place in life
right And so for me, what that looked like was
I had to stop looking for a guru or somebody
to tell me exactly what to do and what to
(27:52):
think and what was best for my body. And yes,
I absolutely believe in getting help and getting supported and
being mentored and investing in somebody to help you learn
what you haven't yet mastered. But first and foremost, I
implore you to become your own advocate and become your
own mad scientist and let that be the guiding light
(28:13):
while you're getting helped or supported by an expert, which
brings me perfectly into the third lesson experiment, Experiment, experiment, okay,
And yes, I mean like, go become a mad scientist
and go collect your own data.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
So it is so incredibly important to learn what works
for you, you know, learn what doesn't work for you, and
learn what you like and learn what you don't like.
And no one can tell you what your air quotes
perfect way is you have to experiment to figure out
your own unique recipe because there isn't a way or
the way. But also, you know, the experimentation side of
(28:51):
it is a skill set that you can definitely hone
in now. But then it's also going to work for you.
If it works in one season of your life, it
might not necessarily work in every season of your life.
So that's why it's a skill set that you're going
to want to hone in so that you can experiment
to meet you where you are in any season of
your life. And my favorite part about experimentation is that
(29:13):
experimentation is the opposite of perfectionism. Okay, you simply go experiment,
get the data, and use that to course correct and
hone in your strategy. And so when you take on
the experimentation mindset, there's no such thing as a failed
experiment because even the things that flat out don't work
for you, that is new data and it's a new
(29:35):
data point to use to figure out what would work
for you. So I invite everyone here to just become
a mad scientist. Go on experiments, go collect data, find
out what works, find out what doesn't work, wash Rens, repeat,
and experiment, experiment, experiment. So those are my three biggest
mistakes and lessons in a nutshell. And if you're interested
(29:56):
in what we talked about today, you are going to
love the next few weeks here on outway where we're
going to be chatting with my friend mentor and colleague
Hollimaxter in the coming weeks. And let me say, ladies,
you are in for a real treat with her wealth
of knowledge and experience. And if you want to hear
more about the process of rewiring your own brain and
self image when it comes to food and your body.
(30:19):
Then head on over to stresslesseding dot com and sign
up to watch the Stressless Eeding webinar, and on there
I walk you through the exact five step process that
my clients use to heal themselves from that all or
nothing diet mentality for good, but without restricting themselves, punishing
their bodies, and definitely without ever having to use words
(30:39):
like macros, low carb or calorie burn. So I've laid
it all out for you in five easy steps over
at stressless eating dot com. So I'm Leanne Ellington signing
out for this episode of Outweigh and we will.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Be back next week. Bye.
I won't let my body.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
I'll be outwait everything that I'm made done, won't spend
my life trying to change.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
I'm learning love who I am again. I'm Sean.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
I feel free.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
I know every part of me. It's beautiful.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
And that will always out way if you feel it.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
But here she'll some love to the vio.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Why get there, say go day and did you and
die out way?
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Happy Saturday, outweigh.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
I'm Leanne Ellington and today I'm here for a solo
episode and it's one that feels really important to share,
but it's also going to set the context for the
interview series we have coming up starting next week, and
then Amy and I will be back with the next
four episodes of Two Things Can Be True at the
same Time, which is all about normalizing the in betweens
(00:57):
and healing from extremism. So if you missed episodes one
through four, definitely go back and listen to those because
we laid out some super powerful distinctions. And to be honest,
I truly believe that breakthroughs come from distinctions and creating
a new found clarity in your brain or seeing what
you might not have seen before. And I know my
(01:20):
biggest breakthroughs and those of my clients came from the
tiniest mindset, tweaks or distinctions in our brains that just
gave us revelation and wisdom and insight. And today I'm
actually latching on to what Amy and I talked about
in the first two Things Can Be True at the
Same Time episode, which was you can be pro body
(01:40):
image and pro self worth and body positive and still
have health goals that you want to reach and so
on that episode, Amy and I came together to share
our thoughts and takeaways on how you can have both
a healthier relationship with food in your body and work
towards the goals that are.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
Important to you.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
But we also explicitly explain that, yes, you can absolutely
go set goals for yourself, but we invite you to
take a sabbatical from typical goal setting and go getting
and go heal your relationship with food first, and heal
your relationship with your body first, and rewire your brain.
(02:21):
And then with that new brain and that new relationship
with food in your body, then head in the direction
of body changing and weight loss or whatever goals you
have in mind, but don't skip over the healing phase
or else you will bring all of the old wiring
and any disorder that you might have with you. And
(02:42):
as we've talked about many times, it does not just
go away on its own or heal itself. In fact,
it gets worse and festers if you don't address it.
But when you do go take that sabbatical and heal,
then you can absolutely go focus on some of those
other goals that you might have.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Now.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
For me, if I'm going to make a big statement
like that, I want to share more about how to
do just that and what that actually looks like practically,
but also the why behind the what, which I believe
is actually way more important because I made some massive
mistakes with this, and I perpetuated a lot of my
own suffering.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
But I also learned some.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Life changing lessons along the way that I wish somebody
had taught me when I was in the thick of
my own disorder, or simply told me to be aware of.
And I want to help you learn from my mistakes
so that you don't create any more of your own suffering,
because the struggles and challenges that come alongside this are inevitable,
but the suffering is optional. So I'm going to lay
(03:44):
out some important thoughts and distinctions today and then the
next three weeks we're going to have my mentor coach
and friend, Holly Baxter on here to talk about a
number of these things, but definitely about the specifics of
what it looks like to practically have both and bring
that to life. So just to paint this picture for you,
I've shared before that I had been dieting since I
(04:07):
was super young, and I got taken to weight watchers
at eight years old, and my toxic relationship with food
began and really just got worse from there. Then as
an adult, through some of the right ways and honestly
a lot of the wrong ways, I lost close to
one hundred pounds and I made over my physical body.
But because I never addressed the root cause of my struggles,
(04:30):
I essentially gave myself disordered eating, a horrible self image
and body image. Really this addiction like relationship to food
and sugar and a very punishment driven and dysmorphic relationship
with my body.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
And so here's the part of the story that I.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Didn't share, And this is the part of my story
that for a long time, my own shame didn't allow
me to share. It, even though now I see that
it was probably, you know, one of the most important
legs of my journey. So I I taught the disorder
to thousands of other women. And here's what I mean.
So rewind back many moons ago, when I'm about you know,
(05:10):
four dozen weight watchers meetings into my sophomore year of college,
and I was off to a party with friends, and
my shapewear, which was you know, the spanks of the
early two thousands, was successfully hiding as much of my
body as possible, and my trusty black cart again was
covering up my arms in my stomach, which was exactly
how I liked it and how I planned it. And
(05:30):
I was at my heaviest way ever, you know, topping
the scales at two hundred and fifty pounds, which was
about one hundred pounds more than most of my friends weighed.
But with a couple of corps lights in me, I
really wasn't thinking about that so much so that when
I couldn't find a seat, I planted myself on the
glass top coffee table. I mean, I'd been seeing people
(05:51):
doing it all night, so I just figured like it
could definitely hold me. But as I reached across to
grab my red solo cup of beer.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
I heard a crack.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
And then another one and then another one, and I
remember thinking to myself, Oh my gosh, Len, your fat
ass just cracked the glass. And yes, I know that
was not the kindest words to use to myself, but
that's just how I spoke to myself at that time period.
But I was mortified. My heart was racing, I was sweating.
(06:21):
I thought I might throw up, And to this day,
I don't even know if anyone even noticed, because within
seconds I was up and bolting towards the door, covered
in blankets of my own shame. And I was in
my car driving home, and don't worry, I was below
the legal limit to drive. And this was one of
my rock bottom moments, even though I had quite a
(06:42):
few of them, and even though I look at my
younger self with compassion now, it was one of those
clarifying moments when I realized that clearly things had to
change because I didn't want to live the rest of
my life like that. And again, I want to reiterate,
as I'm sitting here now sharing this with you today,
I absolutely know that the way I was talking to
myself was not the kindest way to talk to myself.
(07:04):
But that's again just the language I was using, and
that's what was going through my mind at the time, because,
needless to say, the identity of fat and yes, I'm
putting that in air quotes, was very deeply ingrained in
my mind and in my self image and more importantly
in my heart. And if I'm totally honest, it was
more than just seeing myself through what I now refer
(07:26):
to as fat goggles, because deep in my bones, I
truly believed that there was something wrong with me, or
that I was unattractive or undesirable or unworthy, and it
was embedded in myself image and it had been for
a long time. And trust me when I say that
stuff doesn't just magically go away if you've been practicing
(07:46):
it in your thoughts and beliefs in self talk for decades.
Now that particular enough is enough point With the table cracking,
it sent me down the road of losing a significant
amount of weight in all the wrong ways and probably
some of the right ways. And that's what really sent
me down the dark rabbit hole of disordered eating and
pretty much everything that we talk about here on this podcast,
(08:09):
which is obviously a much bigger conversation beyond the scope
of today's episode.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
But for the sake of this episode, I'll fast forward
to a few years after the glass table incident.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
So I had lost all this weight and I felt
like a completely different woman, and naturally, all I wanted
to do was help other women feel the way that
I felt. But not wanting to just go get a
quick weekend certification, I went back to school to study
fitness and nutrition and all of that stuff in depth,
so I could actually learn and understand the science behind
(08:42):
all of what I had experienced in my own real
world weight loss journey. A lot happened in between, but
I'll fast forward to a few years later. After I graduated,
I started my own business, and there I was running
my It was kind of like semi famous in Orlando,
but it was called Not your Average boot Camp and
it was a fitness center for women in Orlando. And
(09:03):
so in walks Laura. Okay, she was forty two, overfed, undernourished,
and totally desperate to change. Okay, she was kind of
like the perfect client, you know, enthusiastic, never missed a workout,
followed my nutrition plan, to the tea, and so day
forty two of this six week challenge came around, and
she is beyond thrilled about the woman that she had become. Okay,
(09:27):
she almost didn't even recognize herself in her after pictures.
She was confident, walking differently, talking differently, looking differently. But
little by little that twinkle in her eye fizzled, and
four workouts a week turned into one, and following the
nutrition plan turned into sort of following it, and it
wasn't long before she came in to talk to me
(09:48):
and she was like, LeAnn Leanne, I need another six
week challenge. I can't do this without it. When is
it I really needed? I really need it, right And
in that moment, I kind of felt like I was
talking to an addict that needed her next FIC, you know,
And I could feel myself getting really defensive and irritated.
And I knew in that moment that if I put
her through another challenge six weeks later, we'd be staying
(10:11):
right here all over again. But I took it as
a sign that I wasn't doing enough to help her,
and I took responsibility for her situation, and so of
course I set up the next six week challenge, and
another and another, until one day I walked in to
check in on my challengers and they were now training
with a team that I had hired to work for me,
(10:32):
and I noticed Laura was limping okay, and I vividly
remember her justifications.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
She was like, Oh, it's no big deal.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
You know, I felt of a bit of a twinge
during some lunges last week, so it's probably just from that.
And I'm taking it easy though today and I'm going
to just go a bit lighter. And then she like
looks over at her twenty pound pair of dumbells compared
to the twenty fives that she had been using, because
that was now her idea of taking it easy. And
in that moment, I had a flashback to four years
before that. And in that moment, I had a flashback
(11:07):
to four years before that, where my anesthesiologist had me
counting backwards from one hundred as this surgical team was
getting ready to go in and microscopically remove the calcified
hardened disk fluid that had been sitting on my nerves
for the past eight months. And it's now a procedure
that I endearingly call the cost of skinny because I
(11:28):
was so focused on getting skinny or lean or toned
or hot or whatever words ruled my brain at the
time that I didn't pay attention or just tune into
what my body needed and what my body was screaming
at me to do or in a lot of cases,
to stop doing. And you know, if only I had
listened to the screams from my body to slow down
(11:49):
and chill out, and probably while you're at it, like
go eat more food, lyan, because I really was under eating.
You know, maybe that all could have been avoided. But
I didn't care at the time. You know, I just
wanted to be skinny and beautiful, and in my mind,
no back pain or injury or pesky flare up was
going to stop me until it finally did stop me.
(12:10):
And it didn't just stop me. It landed me on
an operating table at Cleveland Metro for major spine surgery
at the ripe old age of twenty five. And now
there I was watching Laura hobble to her water bottle
during her one minute rest interval, and I knew that
if I didn't do something about what I was seeing,
(12:31):
pretty soon my clients would be paying their own cost
of skinny too, And even though I didn't one hundred
percent know what that would look like, right then and there,
I decided I needed to change everything, and I was
ready to go from you know, the business of the
body to the business of the brain. So fast forward
a couple of years later, and I had finally found
(12:52):
the courage to admit and really act on my truth.
And the truth was I didn't want to be a
fitness expert or a health or obsessed with my body
and every morsel of food that touched my lips. And
you know, I'll be the first to admit I tried
all of those roles on but they all left me either,
you know, living a life and in a body that
(13:12):
made me really unhappy, or living in a body that
kind of pleased me but in a way that left
me really unhappy and totally unhealthy. And so I went
from feeling you know, majorly out of control of my
body and dependencies and addiction like connections to food and
acting with complete disregard for my body for so many years,
(13:33):
to the opposite, you know, restriction control, punishing my body
and convincing myself to do all the things I thought
I needed to do to never go back to my
old ways. But the old stuff never went away.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
I just pushed it aside.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
I locked it up, and I worked my booty off
to stay the course until I finally said, like, I
can't do this anymore. You know, I was nearing thirty
years old, but I knew like if I kept practic
to seeing this way of living and being, pretty soon
i'd be forty and fifty and sixty and bring all
of this with me. And that, honestly just scared the
crap out of me. So I literally just stopped, you know,
(14:11):
and it was I remember, it was kind of like
this spiritual experience for me, to be honest, because all
of a sudden, I started asking myself questions that I
had never even thought to ask, you know, questions that
weren't really even in my consciousness at the time, and
you know, things like what if I just start listening
to my body? And what if I just start listening
to my brain? And what if I just start listening
(14:31):
to my heart? And finally some honest answers came pouring
out of me, and you know, my body basically said,
you know, you're free and lucky. You know all this
beating up and abusing of your body. You know, you're
lucky that spine surgery and feeling like a sugar addict
were the worst of it.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
And you know you've been choosing.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
Weight loss over vitality and health and freedom for far
too long, and I'm feeling it. You know, That's what
my body was saying, and my brain was saying. You know,
you're maxed out, and you're over what worked and overtrained
and overscheduled, and on top of that, you're starving yourself
most of the time, and then you're gluttonously overstuffing yourself,
(15:09):
and then you furiously obsess about it.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
And it's almost like I.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Knew that I had it handled for now, but in
the back of my mind, I knew I couldn't keep
doing this forever. Like that's what my brain was saying
to me, and my heart was saying, you know, I'm done.
You know, I'm done thinking about it and worrying and
obsessing over my body and my weight and food and exercise,
and I'm done pumping myself up and trying to be
(15:34):
an air quotes good example to others when you know
what I really wanted was to just enjoy my life
and enjoy food, and enjoy my body and enjoy the
fruits of my labor. And you know, I wanted to
just where would I wanted to wear and be who
I wanted to be and live with freedom and permission
and choice and not all of this obligation, and not
(15:55):
because I felt trapped or afraid of what would happen
if I stopped controlling and restricting myself, Like my heart
was like, I want my life back.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
Yep. I know it was a lot, okay.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
But all of that is what I had been suppressing
and stuffing down for as long as I could remember,
and I was just done doing that.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
And so here's what happened next.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
You know, this is when I really started to get
to know my body really for the first time ever.
And I started listening to my body and listening to
my hunger and my cravings, and I started listening to
the pain in my body, and I started listening to
my frustrations and to my desires. And then as I
was listening, I started tuning in. And again this was
(16:37):
a new thing for me at the time, but I
started tuning into my body and my hunger and my
pain instead of just ignoring it and fighting it and
honestly outright abusing it. And here's what I discovered off
the back of just you know, exploring that. First off,
I found that my body needed a lot less work,
not more work. I found that my body needed more food,
(16:58):
not less food.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
I found that my.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Heart in my mind needed more care and less punishment.
I found that my motivation in mojo needed less convincing
and coercing and persuading and more fun and more choice.
I found that my sanity needed less control and more
choice and freedom. I found that I needed less judgment
and criticism and shame and more understanding and compassion. And
(17:24):
that was really what led me into the first part
of my own healing journey, which I had no idea
would turn into a career of helping other women heal
from the same things. And all of the things that
we talk about here on outweigh. So back to two
things being true at the same time, and finding health
and healing and still being able to go find that
next level for yourself afterwards. And here's where I promised
(17:48):
this story will come full circle. So fast forward to
about two years ago, which was October of twenty twenty one,
to be exact when I realized that my fortieth birthday
was coming up in about sixteen months. So naturally it
got the wheels in my in my brain turning, and
I was like forty years old, like where do I
want to be and what do I want to be
able to say about myself? And how do I want
(18:08):
to feel about myself and feel about my life.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
And among other things.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
One of the things that came to mind was I
wanted to be my version of my healthiest, so that
meant mind, body, soul, and spirit, because I didn't want
to buy into the belief that everything goes downhill as
you age. I remember like that was a big part
of my consciousness. But then my mind went somewhere that
it had not gone in a very long time.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Okay, my thoughts.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
Started moving towards h I kind of want to feel
like a million bucks in a bikini on a beach somewhere.
Speaker 1 (18:44):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
And so sorry, not sorry about thinking that, because I
know it might sound like conflicting or even competing goals
given that, yes, I'm absolutely about you know, self love
and healing your relationship with food and your body, and
to have such an air quotes, you know, frivolous or
superficial goal, but there's a lot more to it than
that for me. And so you know, you see, back
(19:05):
in January of twenty eleven was the last time that
I had a goal even close to that, or that
I was focused on, you know, changing my physique or
looking a certain way in a bikini. And it was
a pivotal experience in my journey, and not in the
roses and butterflies kind of way either. So I was
at a photo shoot for Fitness RX magazine that I
kind of got double dog dared to do. So remember
(19:28):
how I said I was in the fitness industry, Well,
the media kind of ate up the whole you know,
fat girl to fit girl angle that my story gave
them and again their words, not mine, but it did
get me a lot of exposure on the media. And
this time, however, I essentially got double dog dared by
my editor to do a bikini shoot to go along
these like they're kind of doing a before and after
(19:50):
story about me in the magazine.
Speaker 1 (19:52):
So I was at this shoot.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
So I was at this shoot and obviously I'd trained
for it, and all of a sudden, I am racing
to the bathroom in my bikini, no less, but now
with pools of my own tears streaming down my face,
and I didn't know what to do, and at the
time I didn't fully understand, like why was I bawling
my eyes out?
Speaker 1 (20:18):
But with nothing to lose.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
I had to call my editor and just kind of
let her know the exact situation and let her know like, hey,
I think I need to leave because well, I'm crying
my eyes out in the bathroom, okay, And she was
amazing and gracious and gave me her blessing to leave.
But that was the day that I now refer to
as the face off between my fat head and my
(20:40):
skinny head, because that is when I realized that behind
my you know, the toned arms and my you know,
flat tummy and the body that I'd worked so hard
to create, and honestly, I just assumed that would make
all of my problems go away. That's when I realized
that I still had what I call a fat head
sitting on top of that body and seeing myself from
(21:02):
behind those eyes like the self image was fat, it
had nothing to do with my body, right. In other words,
all of that old programming and my beliefs they were
still there in my brain, and they were stronger than ever.
And even though I may have appeared healthy, I was
so flipping unhealthy not to mention all of the disorder
and the dysmorphia and the shame.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
And again, this.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Realization is what further solidified the need for my own
healing and why I mentioned that it's been many moons
since I focused on changing my physique or typical goal setting,
So that is why when my mind went to this
idea of feeling amazing in a bikini for my fortieth birthday,
it was so much more than just that. Okay, I
(21:46):
was now at a crossroads in my journey that I
had never been. I had never actually been healthy, I
mean like truly healthy in mind, body, soul, and spirit,
and felt parallel desires to go up level, which again
I want to recognize that to someone who didn't know
the backstory, it might sound like a conflicting or competing
(22:06):
goal to self love and healing your relationship with food
in your body, and it might seem like a superficial
or vain goal. But this time around, it was different.
Healing and keeping my freedom and my health and appreciation
for my body was priority numero uno. And that's why
I'm so adamant about knowing and believing that there is
(22:28):
nothing wrong with wanting to go up level any area
of your life, and that includes how you feel in
your body, just not at the expense of your health
and not at the expense of your happiness. And for me,
that meant that I had to go discover my version
of balancing those two things and the process of giving
(22:49):
myself permission to allow multiple things to be true at
the same time that I can feel free and at
ease and have this really beautiful peace with my body
and with food, and I can feel accepting of my
body and grateful and super proud of where I am
and where I came from and where I'm going, and
(23:10):
I'm allowed to not feel guilty for wanting to go
up level and feel even more comfortable in my own skin,
despite what a lot of the body positivity world says
about that last one. Right, So I set the following intentions.
I wanted to take the peace and healing and comfort
and safety around food that I had. I wanted to
(23:32):
focus on what I do love about my body and
what my body can and is able to do, and
then just go move it and feed it in a
way that allows me to love, like, and trust and
appreciate it even more and see what it can do
when I approach it in this new way right healthy
and brain friendly, and most importantly, in a way that
(23:54):
I can sustain it, and where that just becomes.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
My new normal more or less.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Right, that is where I had to go learn what
I had not yet mastered. And that's why I'm going
to share a bit more about that journey on the
next few weeks of out way, where I'm actually going
to bring on the amazing woman that I sought out
to work with me to help me make all of
that happen. And her name is Holly Baxter, and she
is going to be coming on here for the next
few weeks, and we're going to walk you through some
(24:20):
really important lessons and distinctions. In the meantime, though, I
want to leave you with my biggest takeaways and honestly
just the lessons I learned from my biggest mistakes that
I made not only on my own journey but working
in the fitness industry with so many other women, and
hopes that it will save you decades of time and
energy and resources and suffering right and really shortcut your
(24:43):
own journey. So lesson number one is play the flipping
long game. Okay, that short term gratification trap is very seductive,
but if you chase the short term highs, you'll pay
for it in the long run. So yes, you know,
set six weeknds six some month goals. But what I
really want to know is you know where do you
want to be in a year or five years from now,
(25:04):
ten years from now, thirty years from now, and more importantly,
who do you want to be?
Speaker 1 (25:09):
What do you want to be practicing? How do you
want to feel? Right?
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Because most women think they do have to make a choice,
like they can either live in a body that they
don't love, or they think they have to hate what
they have to do or who they have to be
or how they have to feel to get the one
that they do want right. But I believe there is
a third option, because you shouldn't have to sacrifice your
happiness for your health or your health for your happiness.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
You can have both.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
And that's why I'm inviting you to have this conversation
now and do it once, but do it right so
then you.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
Can just have it forever.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
But as long as you're chasing the short term gratification
trap of losing weight quickly only to gain it back,
or you know, playing the short term gratification trap of
going overboard now to get rapid results, but at the
expense of getting to keep those results in the long run,
and honestly, you know, ending up right back where you
are right now, sometimes even further away. Right That's what
(26:04):
I want you to get really ahead of now. And
one of my favorite quotes that we use in stressless
eating is slow is smooth.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Smooth is fast.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
So let me say that again, slow is smooth, smooth
is fast. And I know to a lot of women
that doesn't sound as sexy as lose twenty pounds in
twenty minutes, like you know Instagram or the Internet is.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
Trying to sell you.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
But I promise you what's even less sexy is getting
results now at the expense of getting to keep them
and then ending up right back where you are right now,
or again, in many cases, worse off than you started.
And that's why I encourage you to play the long
game and do the real work and the brain rewiring
that needs to be done now so that you can
(26:49):
have it forever. And then you can focus on those more.
You know, air quote fun goals. Lesson number two, stop
looking for someone else to create your or blueprint. Nobody
can or will be able to give you the blueprint
or recipe that's best for you. You have to become
your own advocate and take radical ownership of your own
(27:11):
journey and outcomes. And trust me when I say, I
used to pray that somebody would come save me or
rescue me, or just tell me what to do. But
that was just keeping me a victim to my own
circumstances because no one can or will give you a
blueprint for what works for you.
Speaker 1 (27:30):
But also, you know, what works for.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
A twenty something on Instagram or someone who has hours
a day to dedicate to their health and fitness will
not work for somebody who is fifty four with hormone
shifting and is in a totally different place in life
right And so for me, what that looked like was
I had to stop looking for a guru or somebody
to tell me exactly what to do and what to
(27:52):
think and what was best for my body. And yes,
I absolutely believe in getting help and getting supported and
being mentored and investing in somebody to help you learn
what you haven't yet mastered. But first and foremost, I
implore you to become your own advocate and become your
own mad scientist and let that be the guiding light
(28:13):
while you're getting helped or supported by an expert, which
brings me perfectly into the third lesson experiment, Experiment, experiment, okay,
And yes, I mean like, go become a mad scientist
and go collect your own data.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
So it is so incredibly important to learn what works
for you, you know, learn what doesn't work for you, and
learn what you like and learn what you don't like.
And no one can tell you what your air quotes
perfect way is you have to experiment to figure out
your own unique recipe because there isn't a way or
the way. But also, you know, the experimentation side of
(28:51):
it is a skill set that you can definitely hone
in now. But then it's also going to work for you.
If it works in one season of your life, it
might not necessarily work in every season of your life.
So that's why it's a skill set that you're going
to want to hone in so that you can experiment
to meet you where you are in any season of
your life. And my favorite part about experimentation is that
(29:13):
experimentation is the opposite of perfectionism. Okay, you simply go experiment,
get the data, and use that to course correct and
hone in your strategy. And so when you take on
the experimentation mindset, there's no such thing as a failed
experiment because even the things that flat out don't work
for you, that is new data and it's a new
(29:35):
data point to use to figure out what would work
for you. So I invite everyone here to just become
a mad scientist. Go on experiments, go collect data, find
out what works, find out what doesn't work, wash Rens, repeat,
and experiment, experiment, experiment. So those are my three biggest
mistakes and lessons in a nutshell. And if you're interested
(29:56):
in what we talked about today, you are going to
love the next few weeks here on outway where we're
going to be chatting with my friend mentor and colleague
Hollimaxter in the coming weeks. And let me say, ladies,
you are in for a real treat with her wealth
of knowledge and experience. And if you want to hear
more about the process of rewiring your own brain and
self image when it comes to food and your body.
(30:19):
Then head on over to stresslesseding dot com and sign
up to watch the Stressless Eeding webinar, and on there
I walk you through the exact five step process that
my clients use to heal themselves from that all or
nothing diet mentality for good, but without restricting themselves, punishing
their bodies, and definitely without ever having to use words
(30:39):
like macros, low carb or calorie burn. So I've laid
it all out for you in five easy steps over
at stressless eating dot com. So I'm Leanne Ellington signing
out for this episode of Outweigh and we will.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
Be back next week. Bye.
Hosts And Creators
Amy Brown
Leanne Ellington
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