OUTWEIGH: In this next episode of the Outweigh Q&A series, we're answering more listener questions and diving deep into some of the more hidden struggles with disordered eating that many women face but often don't talk about. Have you ever found yourself chewing food only to spit it out, wondering if that's "normal"? You're not alone. We explore whether these behaviors are just quirky habits or signs of something deeper. We'll also share practical tools to help when those eating disorder thoughts creep back in, and tackle the fear many have: "What if fixing my relationship with food means gaining weight?" Join us as we unpack these tough topics with compassion, honesty, and actionable advice.
HOSTS:
Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy
Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington
To learn more about re-wiring your brain to heal from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting yourself, punishing your body, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) check out Leanne's FREE Stressless Eating Webinar @ www.StresslessEating.com
Resources Mentioned:
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out me outwait everything that
I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning to love who I am. I got, I'm strong,
I feel see, I know every part of me. It's
beautiful and then will always out way if you feel
(00:24):
it with your hands and there she'll some love to
the bood.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Why get there? Take you one day?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
And did you and die out way?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Happy Saturday? Outweigh Amy here and I got my girl
Liam by my side. Hey Leenne, Hello, Hello, This is
Q and A Part two. Yep. We did part one
last Saturday, and you know, talked about comfort eating stress eating.
What's the difference, like, is that disordered behavior if you're
eating stressed and binge eating. Someone shared that they felt
(00:57):
like it had taken them over and they didn't know
where to start. So we answered those questions and then
today we're going to kind of talk a little bit
more about what is abnormal or weird or disordered. Like
someone shared an example that sometimes they chew food up
and then spit it out. Another person said, what is
your go to tool when edy thoughts creep in? And
(01:18):
then the third question for this week is I'm scared
to fix my eating disorder because I might gain weight.
So it's more of a statement there than a question.
But I think that is a common fear. But let's
start with sometimes I chew food and then spit it out.
Is that abnormal, weird, disordered question?
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Mark?
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Well, first of all, great question, and thank you for
just feeling safe to share it. You know, I think
sometimes these questions can alone just make us, Like you asked,
is it weird? Is it disordered?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
You know?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
And so first and foremost like just acknowledging that this
is what's happening within you. Just thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
You know.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Technically, yes, the chewing and spinning would be considered a
disordered eating pattern, you know. Again, we want to make
sure we're not, you know, putting you in a box,
so I'm not trying to label you or diagnose you here.
But what that involves is you're chewing the food and
then you're spitting it out before swallowing. So it's a
way to get the taste without actually like downloading the
calories for lack of better way of saying it, right,
(02:16):
And so depending on who you ask, it might be
classified as an eating disorder. As well, but again it's
very fixable and you're not broken and you're not destined
to stay this way forever. But part of it is
just understanding what's happening and what it does do, because
I think a lot of times our drama creeps in
and we're like, oh my gosh, I'm doing this, But
then it also must mean that there's something wrong with me.
I'm the worst, I'm a self sabotager, I'm broken whatever,
(02:38):
fill in the blank. So just knowing that like that
could have some actual physical health repercussions of course, and
then the nutritional deficiencies that can come alongside it as
well when you're not actually absorbing food. And then of
course the big one I'm assuming is what you're writing
in for is the psychological and emotional impacts of this. Right,
(02:58):
So the big thing about dis order of behavior is, like,
you know, because we use the distinction last week between
like can food be comforting but then also using food
as comfort and it's in the gray, right, It's those
little distinctions in the gray, And so with this, you know,
part of it is like the chewing and spinning for
you probably why most women do it or people do
it is because it feels like a sense of control,
but in reality it's kind of a false sense of control.
(03:21):
What you're really looking for is influence over yourself, but
it feels probably like a false sense of control, right,
which is what all control is, it's a false sense
of it. We the more we try to control something,
typically the more out of control we feel, especially when
we're talking about disordered eating patterns.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Right.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
So part of it is that like whatever is stemming
this behavior, that's the part that beyond the physical repercussions
of it, the emotional piece of the puzzle is not
being addressed. And so the black and white answer is yes,
that would be considered a disordered eating pattern, but also
just wanted to relinquish any of the shame around that
as well.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah, I had so many thoughts during my disordered days
of like, if anybody were to ever see me do
insert whatever it is that I was doing, because I
mean I would do stuff like that, even throw food
away and then be like, oh wait no, now I
want that, and I would get it out of the trash.
And that's even really cool for me to even stay
out loud. It's so embarrassing, and I think that there's
(04:19):
a lot of times that I thought nobody can ever
know that I have done this. If anybody were to
hear the thoughts that I'm having right now, or to
see some of my actions or my behavior, I'd be mortified.
So yes, thank you for sending that in and sharing that,
And then for anybody else that is having those thoughts, yeah,
(04:39):
you're not alone. And there are different go to tools
right if you have some of these moments that creep up,
which is the next question of what is your go
to tool when edie thoughts creep in? And this is
something that's going to be different for everybody. And Leanna
and I have been careful even we were discussing before
we started recording and even last week that these were
sent in a a question box on Instagram. And we
(05:03):
don't know everybody personally and don't know the full story
and what you have going on in your life, so
we're trying to answer in a generic way possible. But
back in twenty twenty when I started out weigh, the
goal for me was to just have normal, everyday people
come on and share their stories and then also have
experts come alongside and give tools and resources and comfort
(05:26):
and care, but that the people would feel safe opening
up and sharing their stories so that other people listening
something would click, like oh my gosh, I used to
do that and I thought I was the only one.
Or oh my gosh, I used to have this thought
and I thought I was the only one. And that's
the beautiful thing about the Internet.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Absolutely, like the.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Last couple of decades or probably when this podcasting start,
maybe twenty ten, but even before that, social media ways
that have brought people together from all over the world.
People are just feeling less alone in certain areas. Now
there is a side of the point where people feel
more isolated and alone because of the Internet and technology.
But I think when it comes to eating disorders and
(06:07):
disordered eating, we now have more ways than ever to
feel seen in a way, But there is probably stuff
if we're being honest, like deep down you're like, oh, yeah, maybe,
but you don't know this one thought I had, or
this one I did, or this one behavior that I had,
Like I'm sure the only person in the world, and
I guess I'm just saying you're not. And I want
(06:28):
you to take whatever tools for you and Leanna, I'll
let you go into like a go to tool for
eating disorder thoughts, and then I can share something that
I do for myself, and then we can get into
the fear of wanting to fix your eating disorder because
awake game.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
What you just said is so valid. I can't even
tell you how many times people say to me like, Leah,
my brain is way more broken than your other clients.
And they think that they're you know what I mean,
like this helpless cause, but it's like, no, your brain.
First of all, the beauty of it, it's multable, it's pliable,
it's plastic. We can shift it, right, But the downside
of that is it got molded and shifted in a
way that creates little bit of disorder. And that's really
(07:01):
what it is. It's disorder. It's lack of order in
our brain.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Right.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
And so just again what just stacking what Amy said.
Just know that, like, you're not broken because you learned,
you modeled something, or you learned a certain way, right,
or you found comfort in certain things.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Right.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
One of the things that I posted on Instagram one
time that got me the most people in my inbox
was I literally started a post with I dug out
a package of red velvet oreos that I threw away,
swearing that I would not touch them again, and then
I was literally like digging them out of the trash,
you know, like these are the things that it's just
what happened, right, But there was so much shame associated
with it that it kept me from sharing stuff like
(07:36):
that for a long time. So thank you for just
saying that in terms of, you know, go to tools
and thoughts when when a thought creeps in. This is
such a big topic and I don't want to you know,
paint band aids on anything. But one thing that just
came to mind for me, for you know, for this question,
is if food wasn't in play right now, food wasn't
an option right and you just asked your brain or
(07:58):
your heart or your like, what do I really need
right now? Like what am I really feeling? Like what
am I really desiring right now? And food was not
an option because a lot of people, when they come
to work with me, they think like, no, I know,
I don't want it now, But then I say, I
don't care, I just want it now, And when they
logic and reason with that, they realize, well, actually, no,
I do care. Otherwise it wouldn't be getting the help
that I'm getting. So there's these there's so many beliefs,
(08:20):
and there's like a tangled web of beliefs and almost
lies in our brain. So that's a big web that
needs to get untangled and dismantled, right, which is beyond
the scope of just this question. But the first thing
is like if you could really tap in and tune
into what you really need in that moment and at
because part of it is like when we've been conditioned
to just turn to food for that or the opposite
condition to say like I'm not gonna eat right the
(08:42):
aptinus or the disappearance of food or what you know,
the non food. Again, it's that false sense of control,
but we're not really solving the problem. It's like we're
constantly putting fires out, putting fires out, putting fires out,
and never addressing the cause of the fires. So that's
where I would just ask you, like it's really just
a thought or a question of like what am I
I'm feeling right now and what do I really need?
And sometimes you're like I'm feeling really lost right now,
(09:04):
I just need some help, or right now I'm feeling
really sad. I just like I want to feel a
little bit of joy right now, or I'm feeling really lonely,
I'm feeling shape whatever it is like, or I feel
out of control, so I think I'll control myself by
either not eating or losing even more control with food,
right or saying kind of throwing in the towel on
this control conversation anyways, Right, So part of it is
(09:27):
like really identifying, like what am I thinking? What am
I feeling right now? And like if food wasn't even
an option to control or not control, what would really
put that fire out?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
So for me, journaling is a big tool for trying
to figure out what I'm feeling because you may not
even know. So spending some time with yourself and stillness
and breast, taking a walking in nature, intentionally being by
water trees, just like don't normally be like, hey, listen
to our podcast while you're walking.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
But turn off other technology.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
No, actually put down this podcast as soon as it's
fun and go like have a space. Do that, and
don't get intimidated by that by thinking like, well, I
don't have time for a thirty minute walk or something.
Take a five minute walk somewhere if you can get
to where there's trees and water near you, and if not, like,
(10:26):
oh to take one or the other. Is there a lake?
Is there water? Is there a little pond by a
park in your neighborhood? There? You know, trees you can
just get to you want to go, take a little
walk in a circle, and the tree in your backyard.
I don't know. There's something for me that's a tool,
is me being quiet in nature with my thoughts with
like it helps me tune into what I'm feeling, because
(10:48):
for so long I didn't know what I was feeling.
And that is a helpful thing. And then another tool
may be an accountability partner, a friend that you can
rely on or call when you have the thought or
you have the desire to act on a behavior. Lisa Haim,
she was that for me. Now she's a registered dietitian that,
(11:09):
like Leanne, has coached a lot of people and created
courses and done a lot of the work herself and
seen it work. And she helps others. And I know
not everybody their accountability partner can be a coach in
that way. I mean a Lien' showed up for that
way and me in other ways. Because I think Lisa
was more when I was in the thick of my
eating disorder, and with you it's been more of probably
(11:30):
in the thick of knowing my worth. And so you've
been a coach for me in that way. But is
there a friend that like you can just call and
they know the ins and outs of all this with you,
even if they don't have experience with it, Because not
everybody it's going to have a friend that is experiencing
the same things. But maybe you've gotten vulnerable and you've
shared all the things and they've asked, okay, well what
(11:50):
do you need from me? And you can say to them, okay, well,
when I call and I'm having this thought, I just
want to be able to call and tell you that
I'm having it, and then I don't know, y'all can
work out some little thing yourself. Lead have a tip
for this, But maybe it's like, well, remember you asked
me when you're having this, to remind you to go
take a five minute walk or do a five minutes
(12:11):
of breath work or journal. It can be like a
quick thing like there was yeah, linging to my fitness
pal whenever I was in recovery and Lisa was trying
to get me to stop because my documentation wasn't healthy,
but I was still wanting that last bit of control.
And I would call her and I would be like,
I don't know, I'm breaking out. I really I really
want to enter what I ate. I need to enter
(12:32):
it into my fitness Pal right now, and she would
like talk me through it and then chat. Every day
that I went without entering in anything into my Fitness
Pal made the next day easier and easier. It just
takes one day at a time.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Absolutely no so wise, And I know, for you know,
what we're also seeking is like within the context of
what you said, somebody to almost like sober us up
a little bit, you know what I mean, and like
remind us of what's true and what's real. And I know,
for I have like just certain scripture that I go to,
or maybe it's quotes for you or just like wise
words from an author that you like right where it's
just like this is something that I remind myself when
(13:10):
I'm anxious. This is something I remind myself when I'm stressed,
when I'm depressed, when I'm sad, when I feel hopeless,
when I feel like food is going to give me
some false sense of control or whatever, right, so you
can also kind of keep your go to and then
you could also give that to your friend and say, hey,
this is what I need to be reminded of when
I tell you that I'm feeling X or that I
don't know what I'm feeling, you know what. It can
kind of use be used in that direction as well.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
And then this one is, you know, the fear of
gaining weight because you know, get rid of your eating disorder.
If I could just put my arms around and tell
you that your life is going to be so much
more full, and it's just feel like it's almost like
an exhale. That's all I'll put it in. When you
are living your life without your eating disorder ruling you
(13:54):
and dominating you, it is like an exhale. Yeah, And
I think once you feel the exhale, you will gladly
take that. Over weight and what I found for me,
even with inflammation that I was holding onto. And again,
everybody's different, so I can only share my story, but
I will say that I look back on pictures during
the height of my eating disorder, and while I may
(14:16):
have had whatever number on the scale, my face was
completely inflamed and other parts of my way too, And
I found that it took a while, It probably took
over a year, but my face started to calm down
because I was pourging. And I offer that as like
(14:37):
if there's positives of like if you're stressed about the
weight gain, just know that your heart is going to
be healthier, your skin is going to feel better, your
mental health is so much better. And a lot of
mental stress and anguish leads to inflammation in your body,
which inflammation.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Leads to disease.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
So it's like the give take and what you gain
from it is so much more than the not in
the scale.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Gosh, yes, amen, absolutely one thousand percent what Amy just said.
And yeah, part of it two is like that's saying
like choose your card. I'll just come from my experiences,
Like I had to just kind of make a decision
that moving in the direction of health, there was going
to be some sort of like cleaning up that I
had to do emotionally, mentally, spiritually with my relationship with food.
And then the ramifications that because part of it, too
(15:23):
is just acknowledging with so much love, like there are
ramifications for when we put our bodies through that right,
And I Actually I did a two part series about
this topic, specifically on Outweigh, so we'll link it in
the show notes. But part of it too is like
what happens is we think like, oh my gosh, if
I'm not controlling, right, if I'm not controlling, if I'm
not micromanaging, if I'm not whatever, then I'm going to
(15:44):
go off the deep end and gain a bunch of weight.
Is like a big common fear, right. But then like
the opposite, if I'm not controlling, I feel like I'm
going to go off the deep end and feel out
of control. Right, So it's like, where's that happy medium?
And what happens is if you've learned the language of control, right,
which is the call it Spanish, right, if you learn
the language restrict, deprived, count way, measure track all of
(16:04):
the things right, and like you're fluent at Spanish, right,
it would make sense that the language of a freedom
feels like a different language, like French, right, and so,
but part of it too is like when you're not
practicing the Spanish that you've been practicing your whole life,
a lot of people think the alternative is just nothing,
whether it's intuitive eating or just like again, a lot
of people think that means going off the deep end, right,
(16:26):
But when you actually commit to a process to heal
you, you replace that language with a way that sets you free,
but that also helps you create ideal health. So your
version of ideal health. And so I believe that like
starts at the nervous system. But whatever that looks like
when you are creating health, notice I didn't say going
off the deep end, right, You're replacing that sense of
(16:48):
control with a new sense of like prediction and response
for your brain, so you're not going to feel so
out of control. But then also, like Amy was saying,
the positive consequences of creating more health in your body.
And part of it is this is where again it's
so individualized. Like part of it is that like gaining
some weight might actually be so beneficial to your body
(17:08):
as well, depending on you know where you're coming from.
But part of it is like, well, when you start
focusing on health, like actual health rather than wait and
the health including the mental, the emotional, the spiritual, the
freedom that Amy was just speaking about the weight stuff,
not only does it really work itself out, but then
also you are weighing and measuring your self worth by
that part of it so much less and so again
(17:31):
just kind of stacking on what Amy said. And this
is such a big topic and I did too, like
a two part serheries on this, which again will link.
But there's so much more on the other side that
is beyond the weight. And at first it might seem
like this big daunting thing or like, oh my gosh,
I'm gonna go, you know, gain a bazillion pounds. At
least that's how I felt. But when you actually start
creating that health and that homeostasis in your head, your heart,
(17:53):
your mind, your body, your spirit, the fear does kind
of dissovate because then you can learn to trust your
body again and trust yourself again. But that's a process.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Love it. Thank you, Leanne, and thanks for sending in
your questions. We will be continuing the Q and A
into next Saturday, where we're going to be talking about
learning not to compare ourselves to others and finding value
outside of your body, which I think is a great
way wrapping up on that question and then rolling into
(18:22):
that the topics next week will be great so that
you can look in the mirror and love yourself when
you see yourself and it doesn't have to be every
single day. You're going to have your moments, but overall,
hopefully you can know your worth. So we'll cover those
questions next week. Until then, Lean, where can people find you.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
If you want to learn my viewpoints on how to
turn off the part of your brain that's obsessed with
food or obsessed with your weight and really rewire your
brain for freedom and peace and rewrite your own self
image story. You can check that out over on Stressless
Eating dot com. And you can find more about me
over at Leahannellington dot com as well.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
And I'm Radio Amy on Socials and we will be
back next Saturday for Outweigh, But until then, I got
on Tuesdays the Fifth Thing with Kat, the bonus episode
for the Four Things podcast which is every Thursday. And
then yeah, Liane's got What's God Got to Do with It?
I encourage you all to check that out her podcast,
And thanks for being here on Outweigh, Lian and we'll
(19:21):
see y'all next week. Bye bye,
I won't let my body out me outwait everything that
I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning to love who I am. I got, I'm strong,
I feel see, I know every part of me. It's
beautiful and then will always out way if you feel
(00:24):
it with your hands and there she'll some love to
the bood.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Why get there? Take you one day?
Speaker 1 (00:30):
And did you and die out way?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Happy Saturday? Outweigh Amy here and I got my girl
Liam by my side. Hey Leenne, Hello, Hello, This is
Q and A Part two. Yep. We did part one
last Saturday, and you know, talked about comfort eating stress eating.
What's the difference, like, is that disordered behavior if you're
eating stressed and binge eating. Someone shared that they felt
(00:57):
like it had taken them over and they didn't know
where to start. So we answered those questions and then
today we're going to kind of talk a little bit
more about what is abnormal or weird or disordered. Like
someone shared an example that sometimes they chew food up
and then spit it out. Another person said, what is
your go to tool when edy thoughts creep in? And
(01:18):
then the third question for this week is I'm scared
to fix my eating disorder because I might gain weight.
So it's more of a statement there than a question.
But I think that is a common fear. But let's
start with sometimes I chew food and then spit it out.
Is that abnormal, weird, disordered question?
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Mark?
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Well, first of all, great question, and thank you for
just feeling safe to share it. You know, I think
sometimes these questions can alone just make us, Like you asked,
is it weird? Is it disordered?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
You know?
Speaker 1 (01:47):
And so first and foremost like just acknowledging that this
is what's happening within you. Just thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
You know.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Technically, yes, the chewing and spinning would be considered a
disordered eating pattern, you know. Again, we want to make
sure we're not, you know, putting you in a box,
so I'm not trying to label you or diagnose you here.
But what that involves is you're chewing the food and
then you're spitting it out before swallowing. So it's a
way to get the taste without actually like downloading the
calories for lack of better way of saying it, right,
(02:16):
And so depending on who you ask, it might be
classified as an eating disorder. As well, but again it's
very fixable and you're not broken and you're not destined
to stay this way forever. But part of it is
just understanding what's happening and what it does do, because
I think a lot of times our drama creeps in
and we're like, oh my gosh, I'm doing this, But
then it also must mean that there's something wrong with me.
I'm the worst, I'm a self sabotager, I'm broken whatever,
(02:38):
fill in the blank. So just knowing that like that
could have some actual physical health repercussions of course, and
then the nutritional deficiencies that can come alongside it as
well when you're not actually absorbing food. And then of
course the big one I'm assuming is what you're writing
in for is the psychological and emotional impacts of this. Right,
(02:58):
So the big thing about dis order of behavior is, like,
you know, because we use the distinction last week between
like can food be comforting but then also using food
as comfort and it's in the gray, right, It's those
little distinctions in the gray, And so with this, you know,
part of it is like the chewing and spinning for
you probably why most women do it or people do
it is because it feels like a sense of control,
but in reality it's kind of a false sense of control.
(03:21):
What you're really looking for is influence over yourself, but
it feels probably like a false sense of control, right,
which is what all control is, it's a false sense
of it. We the more we try to control something,
typically the more out of control we feel, especially when
we're talking about disordered eating patterns.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Right.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
So part of it is that like whatever is stemming
this behavior, that's the part that beyond the physical repercussions
of it, the emotional piece of the puzzle is not
being addressed. And so the black and white answer is yes,
that would be considered a disordered eating pattern, but also
just wanted to relinquish any of the shame around that
as well.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Yeah, I had so many thoughts during my disordered days
of like, if anybody were to ever see me do
insert whatever it is that I was doing, because I
mean I would do stuff like that, even throw food
away and then be like, oh wait no, now I
want that, and I would get it out of the trash.
And that's even really cool for me to even stay
out loud. It's so embarrassing, and I think that there's
(04:19):
a lot of times that I thought nobody can ever
know that I have done this. If anybody were to
hear the thoughts that I'm having right now, or to
see some of my actions or my behavior, I'd be mortified.
So yes, thank you for sending that in and sharing that,
And then for anybody else that is having those thoughts, yeah,
(04:39):
you're not alone. And there are different go to tools
right if you have some of these moments that creep up,
which is the next question of what is your go
to tool when edie thoughts creep in? And this is
something that's going to be different for everybody. And Leanna
and I have been careful even we were discussing before
we started recording and even last week that these were
sent in a a question box on Instagram. And we
(05:03):
don't know everybody personally and don't know the full story
and what you have going on in your life, so
we're trying to answer in a generic way possible. But
back in twenty twenty when I started out weigh, the
goal for me was to just have normal, everyday people
come on and share their stories and then also have
experts come alongside and give tools and resources and comfort
(05:26):
and care, but that the people would feel safe opening
up and sharing their stories so that other people listening
something would click, like oh my gosh, I used to
do that and I thought I was the only one.
Or oh my gosh, I used to have this thought
and I thought I was the only one. And that's
the beautiful thing about the Internet.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Absolutely, like the.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
Last couple of decades or probably when this podcasting start,
maybe twenty ten, but even before that, social media ways
that have brought people together from all over the world.
People are just feeling less alone in certain areas. Now
there is a side of the point where people feel
more isolated and alone because of the Internet and technology.
But I think when it comes to eating disorders and
(06:07):
disordered eating, we now have more ways than ever to
feel seen in a way, But there is probably stuff
if we're being honest, like deep down you're like, oh, yeah, maybe,
but you don't know this one thought I had, or
this one I did, or this one behavior that I had,
Like I'm sure the only person in the world, and
I guess I'm just saying you're not. And I want
(06:28):
you to take whatever tools for you and Leanna, I'll
let you go into like a go to tool for
eating disorder thoughts, and then I can share something that
I do for myself, and then we can get into
the fear of wanting to fix your eating disorder because
awake game.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
What you just said is so valid. I can't even
tell you how many times people say to me like, Leah,
my brain is way more broken than your other clients.
And they think that they're you know what I mean,
like this helpless cause, but it's like, no, your brain.
First of all, the beauty of it, it's multable, it's pliable,
it's plastic. We can shift it, right, But the downside
of that is it got molded and shifted in a
way that creates little bit of disorder. And that's really
(07:01):
what it is. It's disorder. It's lack of order in
our brain.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Right.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
And so just again what just stacking what Amy said.
Just know that, like, you're not broken because you learned,
you modeled something, or you learned a certain way, right,
or you found comfort in certain things.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Right.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
One of the things that I posted on Instagram one
time that got me the most people in my inbox
was I literally started a post with I dug out
a package of red velvet oreos that I threw away,
swearing that I would not touch them again, and then
I was literally like digging them out of the trash,
you know, like these are the things that it's just
what happened, right, But there was so much shame associated
with it that it kept me from sharing stuff like
(07:36):
that for a long time. So thank you for just
saying that in terms of, you know, go to tools
and thoughts when when a thought creeps in. This is
such a big topic and I don't want to you know,
paint band aids on anything. But one thing that just
came to mind for me, for you know, for this question,
is if food wasn't in play right now, food wasn't
an option right and you just asked your brain or
(07:58):
your heart or your like, what do I really need
right now? Like what am I really feeling? Like what
am I really desiring right now? And food was not
an option because a lot of people, when they come
to work with me, they think like, no, I know,
I don't want it now, But then I say, I
don't care, I just want it now, And when they
logic and reason with that, they realize, well, actually, no,
I do care. Otherwise it wouldn't be getting the help
that I'm getting. So there's these there's so many beliefs,
(08:20):
and there's like a tangled web of beliefs and almost
lies in our brain. So that's a big web that
needs to get untangled and dismantled, right, which is beyond
the scope of just this question. But the first thing
is like if you could really tap in and tune
into what you really need in that moment and at
because part of it is like when we've been conditioned
to just turn to food for that or the opposite
condition to say like I'm not gonna eat right the
(08:42):
aptinus or the disappearance of food or what you know,
the non food. Again, it's that false sense of control,
but we're not really solving the problem. It's like we're
constantly putting fires out, putting fires out, putting fires out,
and never addressing the cause of the fires. So that's
where I would just ask you, like it's really just
a thought or a question of like what am I
I'm feeling right now and what do I really need?
And sometimes you're like I'm feeling really lost right now,
(09:04):
I just need some help, or right now I'm feeling
really sad. I just like I want to feel a
little bit of joy right now, or I'm feeling really lonely,
I'm feeling shape whatever it is like, or I feel
out of control, so I think I'll control myself by
either not eating or losing even more control with food,
right or saying kind of throwing in the towel on
this control conversation anyways, Right, So part of it is
(09:27):
like really identifying, like what am I thinking? What am
I feeling right now? And like if food wasn't even
an option to control or not control, what would really
put that fire out?
Speaker 2 (09:42):
So for me, journaling is a big tool for trying
to figure out what I'm feeling because you may not
even know. So spending some time with yourself and stillness
and breast, taking a walking in nature, intentionally being by
water trees, just like don't normally be like, hey, listen
to our podcast while you're walking.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
But turn off other technology.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
No, actually put down this podcast as soon as it's
fun and go like have a space. Do that, and
don't get intimidated by that by thinking like, well, I
don't have time for a thirty minute walk or something.
Take a five minute walk somewhere if you can get
to where there's trees and water near you, and if not, like,
(10:26):
oh to take one or the other. Is there a lake?
Is there water? Is there a little pond by a
park in your neighborhood? There? You know, trees you can
just get to you want to go, take a little
walk in a circle, and the tree in your backyard.
I don't know. There's something for me that's a tool,
is me being quiet in nature with my thoughts with
like it helps me tune into what I'm feeling, because
(10:48):
for so long I didn't know what I was feeling.
And that is a helpful thing. And then another tool
may be an accountability partner, a friend that you can
rely on or call when you have the thought or
you have the desire to act on a behavior. Lisa Haim,
she was that for me. Now she's a registered dietitian that,
(11:09):
like Leanne, has coached a lot of people and created
courses and done a lot of the work herself and
seen it work. And she helps others. And I know
not everybody their accountability partner can be a coach in
that way. I mean a Lien' showed up for that
way and me in other ways. Because I think Lisa
was more when I was in the thick of my
eating disorder, and with you it's been more of probably
(11:30):
in the thick of knowing my worth. And so you've
been a coach for me in that way. But is
there a friend that like you can just call and
they know the ins and outs of all this with you,
even if they don't have experience with it, Because not
everybody it's going to have a friend that is experiencing
the same things. But maybe you've gotten vulnerable and you've
shared all the things and they've asked, okay, well what
(11:50):
do you need from me? And you can say to them, okay, well,
when I call and I'm having this thought, I just
want to be able to call and tell you that
I'm having it, and then I don't know, y'all can
work out some little thing yourself. Lead have a tip
for this, But maybe it's like, well, remember you asked
me when you're having this, to remind you to go
take a five minute walk or do a five minutes
(12:11):
of breath work or journal. It can be like a
quick thing like there was yeah, linging to my fitness
pal whenever I was in recovery and Lisa was trying
to get me to stop because my documentation wasn't healthy,
but I was still wanting that last bit of control.
And I would call her and I would be like,
I don't know, I'm breaking out. I really I really
want to enter what I ate. I need to enter
(12:32):
it into my fitness Pal right now, and she would
like talk me through it and then chat. Every day
that I went without entering in anything into my Fitness
Pal made the next day easier and easier. It just
takes one day at a time.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Absolutely no so wise, And I know, for you know,
what we're also seeking is like within the context of
what you said, somebody to almost like sober us up
a little bit, you know what I mean, and like
remind us of what's true and what's real. And I know,
for I have like just certain scripture that I go to,
or maybe it's quotes for you or just like wise
words from an author that you like right where it's
just like this is something that I remind myself when
(13:10):
I'm anxious. This is something I remind myself when I'm stressed,
when I'm depressed, when I'm sad, when I feel hopeless,
when I feel like food is going to give me
some false sense of control or whatever, right, so you
can also kind of keep your go to and then
you could also give that to your friend and say, hey,
this is what I need to be reminded of when
I tell you that I'm feeling X or that I
don't know what I'm feeling, you know what. It can
kind of use be used in that direction as well.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
And then this one is, you know, the fear of
gaining weight because you know, get rid of your eating disorder.
If I could just put my arms around and tell
you that your life is going to be so much
more full, and it's just feel like it's almost like
an exhale. That's all I'll put it in. When you
are living your life without your eating disorder ruling you
(13:54):
and dominating you, it is like an exhale. Yeah, And
I think once you feel the exhale, you will gladly
take that. Over weight and what I found for me,
even with inflammation that I was holding onto. And again,
everybody's different, so I can only share my story, but
I will say that I look back on pictures during
the height of my eating disorder, and while I may
(14:16):
have had whatever number on the scale, my face was
completely inflamed and other parts of my way too, And
I found that it took a while, It probably took
over a year, but my face started to calm down
because I was pourging. And I offer that as like
(14:37):
if there's positives of like if you're stressed about the
weight gain, just know that your heart is going to
be healthier, your skin is going to feel better, your
mental health is so much better. And a lot of
mental stress and anguish leads to inflammation in your body,
which inflammation.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Leads to disease.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
So it's like the give take and what you gain
from it is so much more than the not in
the scale.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Gosh, yes, amen, absolutely one thousand percent what Amy just said.
And yeah, part of it two is like that's saying
like choose your card. I'll just come from my experiences,
Like I had to just kind of make a decision
that moving in the direction of health, there was going
to be some sort of like cleaning up that I
had to do emotionally, mentally, spiritually with my relationship with food.
And then the ramifications that because part of it, too
(15:23):
is just acknowledging with so much love, like there are
ramifications for when we put our bodies through that right,
And I Actually I did a two part series about
this topic, specifically on Outweigh, so we'll link it in
the show notes. But part of it too is like
what happens is we think like, oh my gosh, if
I'm not controlling, right, if I'm not controlling, if I'm
not micromanaging, if I'm not whatever, then I'm going to
(15:44):
go off the deep end and gain a bunch of weight.
Is like a big common fear, right. But then like
the opposite, if I'm not controlling, I feel like I'm
going to go off the deep end and feel out
of control. Right, So it's like, where's that happy medium?
And what happens is if you've learned the language of control, right,
which is the call it Spanish, right, if you learn
the language restrict, deprived, count way, measure track all of
(16:04):
the things right, and like you're fluent at Spanish, right,
it would make sense that the language of a freedom
feels like a different language, like French, right, and so,
but part of it too is like when you're not
practicing the Spanish that you've been practicing your whole life,
a lot of people think the alternative is just nothing,
whether it's intuitive eating or just like again, a lot
of people think that means going off the deep end, right,
(16:26):
But when you actually commit to a process to heal
you, you replace that language with a way that sets you free,
but that also helps you create ideal health. So your
version of ideal health. And so I believe that like
starts at the nervous system. But whatever that looks like
when you are creating health, notice I didn't say going
off the deep end, right, You're replacing that sense of
(16:48):
control with a new sense of like prediction and response
for your brain, so you're not going to feel so
out of control. But then also, like Amy was saying,
the positive consequences of creating more health in your body.
And part of it is this is where again it's
so individualized. Like part of it is that like gaining
some weight might actually be so beneficial to your body
(17:08):
as well, depending on you know where you're coming from.
But part of it is like, well, when you start
focusing on health, like actual health rather than wait and
the health including the mental, the emotional, the spiritual, the
freedom that Amy was just speaking about the weight stuff,
not only does it really work itself out, but then
also you are weighing and measuring your self worth by
that part of it so much less and so again
(17:31):
just kind of stacking on what Amy said. And this
is such a big topic and I did too, like
a two part serheries on this, which again will link.
But there's so much more on the other side that
is beyond the weight. And at first it might seem
like this big daunting thing or like, oh my gosh,
I'm gonna go, you know, gain a bazillion pounds. At
least that's how I felt. But when you actually start
creating that health and that homeostasis in your head, your heart,
(17:53):
your mind, your body, your spirit, the fear does kind
of dissovate because then you can learn to trust your
body again and trust yourself again. But that's a process.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Love it. Thank you, Leanne, and thanks for sending in
your questions. We will be continuing the Q and A
into next Saturday, where we're going to be talking about
learning not to compare ourselves to others and finding value
outside of your body, which I think is a great
way wrapping up on that question and then rolling into
(18:22):
that the topics next week will be great so that
you can look in the mirror and love yourself when
you see yourself and it doesn't have to be every
single day. You're going to have your moments, but overall,
hopefully you can know your worth. So we'll cover those
questions next week. Until then, Lean, where can people find you.
Speaker 1 (18:40):
If you want to learn my viewpoints on how to
turn off the part of your brain that's obsessed with
food or obsessed with your weight and really rewire your
brain for freedom and peace and rewrite your own self
image story. You can check that out over on Stressless
Eating dot com. And you can find more about me
over at Leahannellington dot com as well.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
And I'm Radio Amy on Socials and we will be
back next Saturday for Outweigh, But until then, I got
on Tuesdays the Fifth Thing with Kat, the bonus episode
for the Four Things podcast which is every Thursday. And
then yeah, Liane's got What's God Got to Do with It?
I encourage you all to check that out her podcast,
And thanks for being here on Outweigh, Lian and we'll
(19:21):
see y'all next week. Bye bye,
Hosts And Creators
Amy Brown
Leanne Ellington
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.