OUTWEIGH: Can you be happy and satisfied and feel like you've 'arrived'....AND still desire to do more, be more, have more, create more (and be absolutely unapologetic about it!)? We absolutely think so! And that's why we are here to talk about this very important distinction. These things do NOT have to cancel eachother out or stay mutually exclusive. But...there are some very important distinctions that you want to keep in mind--- especially since there are a lot of mixed messages out there about this topic.
Amy & Leanne are back again for the EIGHTH episode of the Mini-Series Two Things Can Be True At The Same Time (Normalizing the In-Betweens and Healing From Extremism) where they share their thoughts and takeaways on how you can have BOTH: You can be happy and satisfied and feel like you've 'arrived'....AND still desire to do more, be more, have more, create more (and be absolutely unapologetic about it!)
HOST: Amy Brown // @RadioAmy // RadioAmy.com
HOST: Leanne Ellington // @leanneellington // StresslessEating.com
To learn more about re-wiring your brain to heal from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting yourself, punishing your body, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) check out Leanne's FREE Stressless Eating Webinar @ www.StresslessEating.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'm learning love who I am again. I'm strong, I
feel free, I know every pardon me, it's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And then we'll always out way if you feel it,
but you are, She'll some love to the vid.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Why get there? Take you one day?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
An did you and die out way?
Speaker 4 (00:35):
Happy Saturday outweigh Amy here and my co host Leanne Ellington, No,
all right, Part eight of two things can be true
at the same time the final parts.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
We're finally here.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
You can be happy and satisfied and feel like you've
arrived and still desire to do more, be more, have more,
create more, and be absolutely unapologetically all about it, all
about what you want and dig into that and we
want to see that happen. And this makes me think
of our conversation last week in the mountain yep, like
(01:08):
reaching the top right and feeling like I have arrived here,
I am world and you can be there, and like
last week, you may go back down the mountain some
and that is also okay. It doesn't mean you're not
working hard, doesn't mean you haven't evolved, you're not in
the process of evolving.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
But also now.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
I'm picturing that beautiful mountain and being at the top
and knowing that, Hm, is there a bigger mountain? Like
can I hop on over and keep climbing? And what
we're saying here.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
With this is yes, I see this happen a lot,
and I am gonna specifically say more with women doesn't
mean it's exclusively with women, but I see the patterns
more almost apologetic, like I know my life is amazing,
but I also want more, and they're apologetic that they
want more, because it's almost like a toxic form of
gratitude where it's like, I'm so grateful, I shouldn't I
(02:03):
shouldn't ask for more.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
This makes you think of the Barbie monologue. Have you
seen it?
Speaker 1 (02:06):
I haven't yet, but now because of our mastermind text,
I need to go see it.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Yeah, America Farra in the movie, even if you don't
want to go see the whole movie, look up her monologue,
because in fact, I'll look it up and I'll read
it in a second because it's it's exactly.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
What you're saying for when it comes to women.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Yeah, So I mean that's the thing, Like, first of all,
we talked last week about there is no real arrival
because what do they say, new level, new devil, Like
you you overcome one mountain. Have you seen those memes
where it's like I went on a hike and I
thought we got to the top of the mountain, and
then I looked there was like another peak another I'm
totally butchering the meme, but I'm that girl too when
I go on a hike, I think I've gotten to
(02:43):
the top, and I'm like, oh there's another. This is
just the bottom of the next one, you know, And
so really acknowledging that there's it's never just this end
all be all thing, like opening your mind to the
expectation and transforming your expectations of like, this is life
and I'm always growing and evolving. If you're on this
growing and evolving journey, which if you're listening to this,
you are right, Let's be honest, You're always going to
(03:04):
be looking for the next thing.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
And so part of it.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Is like, yes, have that gratitude, be so appreciative of
where you are. Consciously practice that gratitude. And for me,
like with my food freedom and the freedom that I
have in my body, which is still also always evolving.
I have great gratitude for where I am, and yeah,
I want even more freedom.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
I want even more peace in my body.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
I want even more of the ability to wake up
and feel amazing and acceptance of myself without having to
change my thoughts.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Right, I want more of that.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
So be grateful for where you are, but also be
eager for the next level.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
But that also goes for your career.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
We talked about on the first two things can be
true at the same time. You can find healing and
then also say, you know what, I want to take
my body to the next level. I want to see
how strong I can get, how able bodied I can get,
how great at an activity or sport I can get.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
So that was hard for me in the beginning to realize,
you know, the pendulum sort of swings right when you enter.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
You're like all the.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
Way like, I'm gonna do whatever I want. I don't
need to have goals. If I have goals, that's bad,
Like I shouldn't care about my body.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
I just eat the oreos.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
You know, and then it swings the other way and
levels it levels off. But I loved that first episode
about you know, being pro body image and being aware
of that, but also giving yourself the permission to absolutely
have health goals if you have them absolutely so anyway, yeah,
that was the first part one of this. If y'all
(04:30):
didn't hear it, you can go back and listen to it.
Did you find the quote you look like you have.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
A the monologue?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah, I have it. Okay, I I could see it
in your eyes.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
Okay, the movie's been out for a little bit because
as far as like, oh, I don't want to ruin
this part.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Of the movie.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Alert if you want to see it and you don't
want to hear it from me, then okay, pause this
really quick. But this is so good, Like I would
go see the movie again just to see America Ferrera
do this, although I'm sure I could like google that
clip or something. Here it is written out America Frere's
Barbie monologue, read by Amy. It is literally impossible to
(05:04):
be a woman. You are so beautiful and so smart,
and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough.
Like we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're
always doing it wrong. You have to be thin but
not too thin, and you can never say you want
to be thin, you have to say you want to
be healthy, but also you have to be thin.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
You have to have.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass.
You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean.
You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.
You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk
about your kids all the damn time. You have to
be a career woman, but also always be looking out
for other people. You have to answer for men's bad behavior,
which is insane, but if you point that out, you're
(05:48):
accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men,
but not so pretty that you tempt them too much,
or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to
be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out
and always be grateful, but never forget that the system
is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that, but
(06:08):
also always be grateful. You have to never get old,
never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never
fall down, never fail, never show fear.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Never get out of line.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
It's too hard, it's too contradictory, and nobody gives you
a medal or says thank you, and it turns out
in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong,
but also everything is your fault. I'm just so tired
of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself
into noughts so that people will like us. And if
(06:40):
all of that is also true for a doll just
representing women, then I don't even know.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Wow, I was good, So I'm was so good, so
true and such a topic to explore, because again we
don't want to buy into like this is how it
always is, but like, unfortunately, this is the reality as
it's kind of presented to us. So that's why I
think copics like today are so important, Like you can
have both, and I mean it goes for the air
(07:07):
quotes negative side of things too. I'll have clients come
to me and be like, listen, I don't want to
sound ungrateful. I have great parents, but and they have
some sort of emotional wound or emotional need that didn't
get filled. And part of it is I'm like, you're
allowed to say, like, I have amazing parents and they
didn't know what they didn't know, and there's something in
me as an adult that I need to figure out,
and it doesn't mean that they're bad parents or that
(07:28):
you're not grateful for the upbringing that you had. So
it can go in so many different directions. But yeah,
I think when we live in these worlds of extremism
of like you can't be too thin, you can't be
to not thin, you can't talk about being thin, you
can't talk about being rich, you can't all these like labels,
and they're just words. They really are just words, right,
and words only have the power of the meaning that
we give them. When it's like, okay, screw all that, right,
(07:50):
Like we write our own story and yes, be grateful, yes,
like like find things to be appreciative about, but also
give yourself permission to let your her dreams come true
and to explore, like what do I really want and
what would make me happy? And not just what I
think looks good in society. You're on my Instagram feed,
but like what do I really want? You know? I
(08:12):
think a lot of people that's like where people change careers.
When you see those stories of like she, you know,
became I saw one the other day. She's like she
became a personal trainer when she was seventy, you know,
and she's like squatting three hundred pounds.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I like that, that's not my dream, but you go girl, right?
Or you know, I know my mom.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
When when we all graduated from college, she went back
and got her interior design degree.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
She wasn't necessarily.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Planning on using it, but she she did end up
using it, but she just wanted to do it for her,
you know. So like, you're allowed to have the life
that you have and be grateful for it, but don't
apologize if you want the next level for yourself either.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
That's what we're really trying to say.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Yeah, the apologizing part, because we do it. Honestly, I'd
like to meet a man that does it. Like, if
you're a man that's ever apologized for wanting more money,
wanting more and feeling bad for asking for it, mail
me yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Or we're doing to study halla.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
We want to hear from you, because when that monologue
was happening during the movie, I just was like, Hm,
I wonder how don't even feel this way? And I'm
sure there are some and it also too. I want
to say this that I know the two things can
be true. Maybe that you're totally satisfied you've arrived and
you can want more, and you're allowed to want more,
(09:23):
but we're not saying.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
You should want more.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
Right, you maybe have arrived and you're like, this is
good for me, but that the challenge would be like,
is this really good for you? Or are you conforming
to the ways in which we've been hard right hardwired
to sort of accept that, well, this is as far
as I go, and I'm cool with that because I
(09:48):
never saw myself even coming this far.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
So I'm thankful right totally.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
And that's where I don't mean the toxic gratitude in
a bad way, but that's where it's like, oh, I
shouldn't you know, I'm grateful, but I shouldn't want more,
or this is as good as it gets. As another
form of that too, we're trying to telling ourselves like, no,
I'm just grateful for what I have, and it almost
limits us. And when you said, like, show me a
guy that has these limitations in their mind what came
up for me? Is lis like, it shows us that
(10:13):
this is all in our heads. These limitations live within
our own perception of like, who the heck am I
to have the right to ask for what I want?
To put that steak in the ground, and it really
is a limitation in our own mind.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
And I do it, I know you do, like we
all do it.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
But that's where it's one of those things we're creating
an awareness of, Like it doesn't have to be so,
and it doesn't mean that we're ungrateful, arrogant, cattie whatever.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
I think that when it comes to outweigh which, since
this podcast is, you know, a life without disordered eating
outweighs everything.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
But I think we can.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
This conversation is more so about the bigger picture of
like for me, I'm thinking of entering the space of
having more space in my brain. Yes, when you're in
the throes of it all, you're literally trying to make
yourself small, but you are making yourself small in always
likely even at your career, likely even in your home
(11:11):
or whatever. That looks like you're trying to shrink yourself.
And it's happening inside your brain too, and that can
be very limiting. So when you have arrived in a
sense to that healing place, you realize all this brain
space you now have and it's like, okay, now what
do I want to do with it? And again, it
(11:32):
may be that you're cool content you don't have the
bandwidth for whatever else. But also the question would be, Okay,
what do I want to do with this new freed
up space in my brain?
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Totally, I think knowing where you are and having that
inner intuition of the season that you're in. So for example,
when you air quotes arrive right and you're feeling good
about something, knowing like, hey, I actually want to just
stay put right here and I want to tread water.
I want to just you know, live in this easy,
breezy kind of way of thinking right now, or way
(12:05):
of being or whatever it is right now. But because
I'm choosing it, not because I don't think I can
have more, or not because I think I should set
the next level goal because somebody else has expectations of me.
It's like knowing what you're doing and why you're doing
it and where it's coming from. But treading water is
a beautiful strategy sometimes, right sometimes we need to just
(12:25):
tread water. And it's about knowing that the next level
is there when we're ready for it, but having that
wisdom and discernment to know when it's time.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
And I think when you have arrived, you have more discernment. Yeah,
and you can tap into that wisdom and it's not
cluttered right with all.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
The other thoughts that take over.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
And so yeah, that was my challenge is just seeing
where you want to go with it next, because I
think when our thoughts are consumed with body and food
and all of that, we don't even.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Know our career goals.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Right, it's so exhausting. And you're right, there's no mental
real estate for anything else. Yeah, And that's part of
what this is too.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
It's like invite.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
We said this a few episodes ago, like what if
your body and your weight and what you're eating is
the least interesting thing about you? Yeah, because you're so
much more and then you. That creates space of like, well,
what else is interesting about me? Oh?
Speaker 2 (13:15):
I'm pretty funny sometimes, or.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
I make great dad jokes, or I'm smart and worthy
and capable, i have something to say, or I'm such
a great friend or whatever.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
Or I'm actually a really good cook when I allow
myself to use lots of ingredients and not limit myself
to four things, amen, three things.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
And I love my body.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
I love going dancing and paddleboarding and whenever, and when
I'm not shaming it. I could actually go spend myself
my time doing that, you know. So there's so much
more outside of this, but again giving you compassion and
grace if you're in it because you don't know what
you don't know.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
That's why Outweigh exists.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
All right, Leanne, where can people find you?
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Absolutely Stressless Eating dot com if you want to learn
how to break out of your own food and body
and shame, prison and really heal from the disorder Stressless
Eating dot com or I'm over on Instagram at Leanne Ellington.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
And I am at Radio Amy on socials and a
radiome dot com. All right, this concludes our mini series,
but Leanne is the official new co host of out Weigh.
As you can tell that transition has sort of happened.
It's speaking of evolving and having space for what's the
next right thing and Leanne joining as co host. Here
(14:19):
was the next right thing. I started this with Lisa
in twenty twenty. Lisa Haim and she's a registered dietitian
that's amazing. She has a podcast called The Truthyist Life.
She's evolved so much in the last few years and
she unapologetically has evolved and I love following her on
Instagram and she's she's real over there. She's like, my
content is totally different than what it was. If you
(14:40):
started following me a few years ago, and you're not
into this, okay, well I get it. You're probably gonna
unfollow me, and that is okay because I'm gonna just
you know who I am, be who I am. And
she's someone that is constantly evolving and has She's probably
arrived multiple times. She's arrived, but then there's been a
pivot and then she's a evolved and then arrived and
(15:01):
then evolved and then arrived and so that's been cool
to see with her, and you know, outweigh, I just
felt very comfortable with Leanne and love her expertise and
she is so passionate about helping others and knowledgeable. So
thank you Leanne for joining us co host and pleasure. Yeah,
we'll see y'all next Saturday.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Bye bye
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I'm learning love who I am again. I'm strong, I
feel free, I know every pardon me, it's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
And then we'll always out way if you feel it,
but you are, She'll some love to the vid.
Speaker 3 (00:27):
Why get there? Take you one day?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
An did you and die out way?
Speaker 4 (00:35):
Happy Saturday outweigh Amy here and my co host Leanne Ellington, No,
all right, Part eight of two things can be true
at the same time the final parts.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
We're finally here.
Speaker 4 (00:47):
You can be happy and satisfied and feel like you've
arrived and still desire to do more, be more, have more,
create more, and be absolutely unapologetically all about it, all
about what you want and dig into that and we
want to see that happen. And this makes me think
of our conversation last week in the mountain yep, like
(01:08):
reaching the top right and feeling like I have arrived here,
I am world and you can be there, and like
last week, you may go back down the mountain some
and that is also okay. It doesn't mean you're not
working hard, doesn't mean you haven't evolved, you're not in
the process of evolving.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
But also now.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
I'm picturing that beautiful mountain and being at the top
and knowing that, Hm, is there a bigger mountain? Like
can I hop on over and keep climbing? And what
we're saying here.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
With this is yes, I see this happen a lot,
and I am gonna specifically say more with women doesn't
mean it's exclusively with women, but I see the patterns
more almost apologetic, like I know my life is amazing,
but I also want more, and they're apologetic that they
want more, because it's almost like a toxic form of
gratitude where it's like, I'm so grateful, I shouldn't I
(02:03):
shouldn't ask for more.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
This makes you think of the Barbie monologue. Have you
seen it?
Speaker 1 (02:06):
I haven't yet, but now because of our mastermind text,
I need to go see it.
Speaker 4 (02:10):
Yeah, America Farra in the movie, even if you don't
want to go see the whole movie, look up her monologue,
because in fact, I'll look it up and I'll read
it in a second because it's it's exactly.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
What you're saying for when it comes to women.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Yeah, So I mean that's the thing, Like, first of all,
we talked last week about there is no real arrival
because what do they say, new level, new devil, Like
you you overcome one mountain. Have you seen those memes
where it's like I went on a hike and I
thought we got to the top of the mountain, and
then I looked there was like another peak another I'm
totally butchering the meme, but I'm that girl too when
I go on a hike, I think I've gotten to
(02:43):
the top, and I'm like, oh there's another. This is
just the bottom of the next one, you know, And
so really acknowledging that there's it's never just this end
all be all thing, like opening your mind to the
expectation and transforming your expectations of like, this is life
and I'm always growing and evolving. If you're on this
growing and evolving journey, which if you're listening to this,
you are right, Let's be honest, You're always going to
(03:04):
be looking for the next thing.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
And so part of it.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Is like, yes, have that gratitude, be so appreciative of
where you are. Consciously practice that gratitude. And for me,
like with my food freedom and the freedom that I
have in my body, which is still also always evolving.
I have great gratitude for where I am, and yeah,
I want even more freedom.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
I want even more peace in my body.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
I want even more of the ability to wake up
and feel amazing and acceptance of myself without having to
change my thoughts.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Right, I want more of that.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
So be grateful for where you are, but also be
eager for the next level.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
But that also goes for your career.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
We talked about on the first two things can be
true at the same time. You can find healing and
then also say, you know what, I want to take
my body to the next level. I want to see
how strong I can get, how able bodied I can get,
how great at an activity or sport I can get.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
So that was hard for me in the beginning to realize,
you know, the pendulum sort of swings right when you enter.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
You're like all the.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
Way like, I'm gonna do whatever I want. I don't
need to have goals. If I have goals, that's bad,
Like I shouldn't care about my body.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
I just eat the oreos.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
You know, and then it swings the other way and
levels it levels off. But I loved that first episode
about you know, being pro body image and being aware
of that, but also giving yourself the permission to absolutely
have health goals if you have them absolutely so anyway, yeah,
that was the first part one of this. If y'all
(04:30):
didn't hear it, you can go back and listen to it.
Did you find the quote you look like you have.
Speaker 3 (04:33):
A the monologue?
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Yeah, I have it. Okay, I I could see it
in your eyes.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
Okay, the movie's been out for a little bit because
as far as like, oh, I don't want to ruin
this part.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Of the movie.
Speaker 4 (04:43):
Alert if you want to see it and you don't
want to hear it from me, then okay, pause this
really quick. But this is so good, Like I would
go see the movie again just to see America Ferrera
do this, although I'm sure I could like google that
clip or something. Here it is written out America Frere's
Barbie monologue, read by Amy. It is literally impossible to
(05:04):
be a woman. You are so beautiful and so smart,
and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough.
Like we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're
always doing it wrong. You have to be thin but
not too thin, and you can never say you want
to be thin, you have to say you want to
be healthy, but also you have to be thin.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
You have to have.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass.
You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean.
You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.
You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk
about your kids all the damn time. You have to
be a career woman, but also always be looking out
for other people. You have to answer for men's bad behavior,
which is insane, but if you point that out, you're
(05:48):
accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men,
but not so pretty that you tempt them too much,
or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to
be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out
and always be grateful, but never forget that the system
is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that, but
(06:08):
also always be grateful. You have to never get old,
never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never
fall down, never fail, never show fear.
Speaker 3 (06:17):
Never get out of line.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
It's too hard, it's too contradictory, and nobody gives you
a medal or says thank you, and it turns out
in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong,
but also everything is your fault. I'm just so tired
of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself
into noughts so that people will like us. And if
(06:40):
all of that is also true for a doll just
representing women, then I don't even know.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
Wow, I was good, So I'm was so good, so
true and such a topic to explore, because again we
don't want to buy into like this is how it
always is, but like, unfortunately, this is the reality as
it's kind of presented to us. So that's why I
think copics like today are so important, Like you can
have both, and I mean it goes for the air
(07:07):
quotes negative side of things too. I'll have clients come
to me and be like, listen, I don't want to
sound ungrateful. I have great parents, but and they have
some sort of emotional wound or emotional need that didn't
get filled. And part of it is I'm like, you're
allowed to say, like, I have amazing parents and they
didn't know what they didn't know, and there's something in
me as an adult that I need to figure out,
and it doesn't mean that they're bad parents or that
(07:28):
you're not grateful for the upbringing that you had. So
it can go in so many different directions. But yeah,
I think when we live in these worlds of extremism
of like you can't be too thin, you can't be
to not thin, you can't talk about being thin, you
can't talk about being rich, you can't all these like labels,
and they're just words. They really are just words, right,
and words only have the power of the meaning that
we give them. When it's like, okay, screw all that, right,
(07:50):
Like we write our own story and yes, be grateful, yes,
like like find things to be appreciative about, but also
give yourself permission to let your her dreams come true
and to explore, like what do I really want and
what would make me happy? And not just what I
think looks good in society. You're on my Instagram feed,
but like what do I really want? You know? I
(08:12):
think a lot of people that's like where people change careers.
When you see those stories of like she, you know,
became I saw one the other day. She's like she
became a personal trainer when she was seventy, you know,
and she's like squatting three hundred pounds.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
I like that, that's not my dream, but you go girl, right?
Or you know, I know my mom.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
When when we all graduated from college, she went back
and got her interior design degree.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
She wasn't necessarily.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Planning on using it, but she she did end up
using it, but she just wanted to do it for her,
you know. So like, you're allowed to have the life
that you have and be grateful for it, but don't
apologize if you want the next level for yourself either.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
That's what we're really trying to say.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
Yeah, the apologizing part, because we do it. Honestly, I'd
like to meet a man that does it. Like, if
you're a man that's ever apologized for wanting more money,
wanting more and feeling bad for asking for it, mail
me yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Or we're doing to study halla.
Speaker 4 (09:03):
We want to hear from you, because when that monologue
was happening during the movie, I just was like, Hm,
I wonder how don't even feel this way? And I'm
sure there are some and it also too. I want
to say this that I know the two things can
be true. Maybe that you're totally satisfied you've arrived and
you can want more, and you're allowed to want more,
(09:23):
but we're not saying.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
You should want more.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
Right, you maybe have arrived and you're like, this is
good for me, but that the challenge would be like,
is this really good for you? Or are you conforming
to the ways in which we've been hard right hardwired
to sort of accept that, well, this is as far
as I go, and I'm cool with that because I
(09:48):
never saw myself even coming this far.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
So I'm thankful right totally.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
And that's where I don't mean the toxic gratitude in
a bad way, but that's where it's like, oh, I
shouldn't you know, I'm grateful, but I shouldn't want more,
or this is as good as it gets. As another
form of that too, we're trying to telling ourselves like, no,
I'm just grateful for what I have, and it almost
limits us. And when you said, like, show me a
guy that has these limitations in their mind what came
up for me? Is lis like, it shows us that
(10:13):
this is all in our heads. These limitations live within
our own perception of like, who the heck am I
to have the right to ask for what I want?
To put that steak in the ground, and it really
is a limitation in our own mind.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
And I do it, I know you do, like we
all do it.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
But that's where it's one of those things we're creating
an awareness of, Like it doesn't have to be so,
and it doesn't mean that we're ungrateful, arrogant, cattie whatever.
Speaker 4 (10:38):
I think that when it comes to outweigh which, since
this podcast is, you know, a life without disordered eating
outweighs everything.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
But I think we can.
Speaker 4 (10:47):
This conversation is more so about the bigger picture of
like for me, I'm thinking of entering the space of
having more space in my brain. Yes, when you're in
the throes of it all, you're literally trying to make
yourself small, but you are making yourself small in always
likely even at your career, likely even in your home
(11:11):
or whatever. That looks like you're trying to shrink yourself.
And it's happening inside your brain too, and that can
be very limiting. So when you have arrived in a
sense to that healing place, you realize all this brain
space you now have and it's like, okay, now what
do I want to do with it? And again, it
(11:32):
may be that you're cool content you don't have the
bandwidth for whatever else. But also the question would be, Okay,
what do I want to do with this new freed
up space in my brain?
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Totally, I think knowing where you are and having that
inner intuition of the season that you're in. So for example,
when you air quotes arrive right and you're feeling good
about something, knowing like, hey, I actually want to just
stay put right here and I want to tread water.
I want to just you know, live in this easy,
breezy kind of way of thinking right now, or way
(12:05):
of being or whatever it is right now. But because
I'm choosing it, not because I don't think I can
have more, or not because I think I should set
the next level goal because somebody else has expectations of me.
It's like knowing what you're doing and why you're doing
it and where it's coming from. But treading water is
a beautiful strategy sometimes, right sometimes we need to just
(12:25):
tread water. And it's about knowing that the next level
is there when we're ready for it, but having that
wisdom and discernment to know when it's time.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
And I think when you have arrived, you have more discernment. Yeah,
and you can tap into that wisdom and it's not
cluttered right with all.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
The other thoughts that take over.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
And so yeah, that was my challenge is just seeing
where you want to go with it next, because I
think when our thoughts are consumed with body and food
and all of that, we don't even.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
Know our career goals.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Right, it's so exhausting. And you're right, there's no mental
real estate for anything else. Yeah, And that's part of
what this is too.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
It's like invite.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
We said this a few episodes ago, like what if
your body and your weight and what you're eating is
the least interesting thing about you? Yeah, because you're so
much more and then you. That creates space of like, well,
what else is interesting about me? Oh?
Speaker 2 (13:15):
I'm pretty funny sometimes, or.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
I make great dad jokes, or I'm smart and worthy
and capable, i have something to say, or I'm such
a great friend or whatever.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
Or I'm actually a really good cook when I allow
myself to use lots of ingredients and not limit myself
to four things, amen, three things.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
And I love my body.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
I love going dancing and paddleboarding and whenever, and when
I'm not shaming it. I could actually go spend myself
my time doing that, you know. So there's so much
more outside of this, but again giving you compassion and
grace if you're in it because you don't know what
you don't know.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
That's why Outweigh exists.
Speaker 3 (13:45):
All right, Leanne, where can people find you?
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Absolutely Stressless Eating dot com if you want to learn
how to break out of your own food and body
and shame, prison and really heal from the disorder Stressless
Eating dot com or I'm over on Instagram at Leanne Ellington.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
And I am at Radio Amy on socials and a
radiome dot com. All right, this concludes our mini series,
but Leanne is the official new co host of out Weigh.
As you can tell that transition has sort of happened.
It's speaking of evolving and having space for what's the
next right thing and Leanne joining as co host. Here
(14:19):
was the next right thing. I started this with Lisa
in twenty twenty. Lisa Haim and she's a registered dietitian
that's amazing. She has a podcast called The Truthyist Life.
She's evolved so much in the last few years and
she unapologetically has evolved and I love following her on
Instagram and she's she's real over there. She's like, my
content is totally different than what it was. If you
(14:40):
started following me a few years ago, and you're not
into this, okay, well I get it. You're probably gonna
unfollow me, and that is okay because I'm gonna just
you know who I am, be who I am. And
she's someone that is constantly evolving and has She's probably
arrived multiple times. She's arrived, but then there's been a
pivot and then she's a evolved and then arrived and
(15:01):
then evolved and then arrived and so that's been cool
to see with her, and you know, outweigh, I just
felt very comfortable with Leanne and love her expertise and
she is so passionate about helping others and knowledgeable. So
thank you Leanne for joining us co host and pleasure. Yeah,
we'll see y'all next Saturday.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Bye bye
Hosts And Creators
Amy Brown
Leanne Ellington
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