From Curiosity to Calling: A Journey Through Faith and Family with Tony Vara

From TikTok to my kitchen, Tony Vara gives us "an update on his Christianity" and what life looks like for him now that his mom is detained by ICE. He gives us a closer look into his life, shares his experiences in churches and where he's going moving forward. To support Tony and his family with lawyer fees, food, flights, etc. please click this link.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome back to the Overcome for podcast. I'm your host,
Jennaica Lopez. Thank you guys so much for choosing to
listen and watch today's episode. I am so excited because
I'm a little bit of a fan girl right now
for this person. If you guys saw the title and
the thumbnaiw you guys know who this person is. Without
further ado, we have the one, the Only.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
Tony Bara.

Speaker 1 (00:34):
I was like, do I be all Mexican.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
About Okay, I'm excited. If you guys don't know who
Tony is.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
Tony has gone viral update on my Christianity if you
watch the Chosen, He's done all the reviews and the notes. Also,
recently his mom has been detained by IY. So we're
going to get into all these wonderful things. And I
just want to let you know I told him when
you got here, was like, dude, I'm so excited to

(01:00):
meet you. I was so happy and I'm so happy
and I'm grateful that you had the time because I
just think that what you do and how you went
viral and the stories that you're doing and everything is
just like it's so relatable.

Speaker 3 (01:18):
I really want to see I'm like oh my god.

Speaker 1 (01:20):
Okay, So before we get into all of that, I
asked him, I'm like, hey, like, what kind of meal
do you like? I want to make you feel comfortable.
I want to make you feel safe, Like, what's something
that you're going to like? And he said, any Mexican
got a little super whatever. So today we're making chicken out.

Speaker 4 (01:34):
I was like, I was like, is she gonna think
I'm crazy for wanning?

Speaker 3 (01:36):
Like so during the.

Speaker 1 (01:39):
I'm on the same level period, easy peasy, delicious bombs.
So we're gonna have a loneas today and yeah, so
I'm gonna bring everything. But while we get started, for
the people that don't know you, please introduce yourself. Who
you are, how old you are, your social security just kidding, no,
how you grew up, what you do, and how was

(02:02):
your childhood.

Speaker 4 (02:03):
Yeah, my name is Anthony. I go by Tony though
on the internet that was just.

Speaker 3 (02:08):
Like a weird name, like we came up with Tony
bra I also like in high school, no, no, no, you're
still good.

Speaker 4 (02:13):
In high school, I made it being called Tony because like,
you know how that teachers would be like, oh, do
you want to go by Tony? I was like, no,
don't call me that. I want answer to that. But
now I'm just like, oh, I guess.

Speaker 3 (02:22):
Yeah, I grew up in Virginia.

Speaker 4 (02:23):
I'm twenty four years old, whichause in November.

Speaker 3 (02:26):
I'm a sage.

Speaker 4 (02:28):
I don't know what I means though, so hopefully that's
a good thing. I grew up in Virginia. My parents
are from Central America. My dad's from Dude, ask and
my mom's from How was your childhood like traumatic? Really?

Speaker 3 (02:41):
Yeah, like we grew up Like so we grew up
in Virginia.

Speaker 4 (02:46):
Like it's been pretty good for the most part, but
like definitely some ups and downs as I got older.
But yeah, and then like when I was like eight,
my little sister was born or like in the other
rooms right now, Yeah, and then, yeah, I've been in
Virginia mostly like all my life. Like I even went
to University of Virginia. Like I'm like a Virginia like person,
like down, like that's my that's my state.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
That's your place.

Speaker 4 (03:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
We were just talking about off camera, like how he
would move to New York.

Speaker 4 (03:12):
Oh yeah, okay, because I was like, no shade to LA.
But like I've been living here for like almost a
year and I'm like, I just don't think it's not
an LA problem. I think it's a West Coast thing
because the time difference. I don't have any family out here.
I'm just like I just don't because you know those
people that are like I don't like La because of
all the influences.

Speaker 3 (03:28):
No, I love LA.

Speaker 4 (03:29):
I love La like because of like the culture everything.
I just think it's a West Coast thing. Yeah, I'm
just like I feel like the city was on the
East Coast, I'd live there, you know what.

Speaker 1 (03:36):
Culture wise, I feel like there's there's some Maybe this
is because I'm in the valley and like there's more
Latinos on this side, but like when you really get
out of here, this area, like there's really not it's
more Asian, and like I feel like it still needs
a little bit more culture.

Speaker 4 (03:51):
There's not like yeah, besides, like because I live in
hotel like right now, which is very like Japanese like
called Japansan or something, so like the food there is
like amazing, but like besides that, like I grew up
in a very Latino area, like I grew up in
if you know, Northern Virginia, Like that's where it's very
immigrant heavy.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
That's what I was gonna say. Like, like the East
Coast has a lot.

Speaker 4 (04:10):
More like I was, It's a lot more diverse, a
lot more diverse, like.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
As far as like culture wise, like yeah.

Speaker 4 (04:16):
I think like I didn't grow up for a lota
road like a lot of white people, like I just
didn't like in La you see like a lot and
like I feel like in the DMV if you like
someone like you could find like someone blonde hair blue,
ID they're where you're from, Like, oh my parents.

Speaker 3 (04:27):
Are them all in?

Speaker 1 (04:28):
You know?

Speaker 2 (04:28):
Like you that exactly.

Speaker 4 (04:30):
I definitely think the East Coast has a lot more
of a variety because like I love I love the
Latinos here for like you don't like there's no pa
literally like I'm like, oh okay, okay, yeah but.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
Yeah basically okay, So you mentioned like did you words
the a joker or.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
Do you have a really traumatic childhood?

Speaker 4 (04:48):
So for the people that know, like if you know,
you know, this is like the second time my mom
has been detained, like she was attained.

Speaker 3 (04:55):
Before I was like seven, so I don't really remember.

Speaker 4 (04:58):
And like I have a little brother, yes, no idea,
what's going on? We tell him that my mom's at work.
And I'm just like I say that because like my god, like.

Speaker 3 (05:07):
Stop, I can't cry. I can't cry.

Speaker 4 (05:09):
But like we tell him that because like that's what
I was told when I was younger, and like in
my mind, I'm like that worked with me.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
So I'm like that what to say? Told me the
same thing.

Speaker 3 (05:18):
Really, Now, my dad wasn't well.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
I mean he went to Joe, he was in Joe,
he was in school.

Speaker 4 (05:24):
Or he was at work. Yeah, And then so like
when we went to like go visit her recently and
we're going on Tuesday again, like my cousin was like, oh,
like we can just tell him that she's wearing scrubs
cause like like.

Speaker 3 (05:35):
You know, the little thing.

Speaker 4 (05:36):
And he was just like, oh, like can I stay
here and work with you? And I was just like,
oh my god no. And like seeing my little brother
not knowing what's going on, I'm just like, oh my god,
this was literally me so loki a little like traumatic.

Speaker 1 (05:46):
Right.

Speaker 4 (05:46):
I'm just like, you know cause I told my sister.
I was like, love you guys so much. We're all
getting therapy.

Speaker 1 (05:50):
I was like, we all need honestly, one therapy is beautiful.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
Yeah, Like it's just it. Do you discover yourself? You've
never done it?

Speaker 4 (05:57):
No, I when I was like.

Speaker 1 (05:59):
Eight, Okay, speaking on that topic outside of therapy, now
that you mentioned it, obviously about your mom everything that's
obviously going on right now, and like this isn't her
first time. I did not know that.

Speaker 2 (06:15):
Can you give? Like I want to know.

Speaker 1 (06:18):
What exactly happened because obviously there's one thing that like
the media tells you and gives you this picture or whatever,
then there's another thing where there's somebody that's actually there.
And to be honest, you're the first person I know
that has somebody that close in there. Yeah, obviously, I'm
I'm so sorry, Like it is, like it is probably
the most traumatic experience. Do they do it exactly how

(06:42):
they say in like the videos, like they go knocking
on the doors or whatever, Like obviously, I know you're
supposed to know your rights and all that stuff, but
I want to know, like, and forgive me if I
sound ignorant or whatever, but I just want to know,
and especially for people that don't know, like a lot
of the viewers that have never had this experience or
you know, aren't aware like the intensity.

Speaker 4 (07:04):
Yeah, what it is I think, like it's not like
the typical thing you see on the news, because that
is very real, like me working in like the immigrations.

Speaker 3 (07:11):
Where its like that is very real. But I think
like the way that.

Speaker 4 (07:14):
It happened with my mom is at like first like
she had like basically like how to run in with
like the police or something like that. And then once
they saw that she was like undocumented, that's when they
like basically like took her in. And then so it
kind of was like police collaboration with like oh so
basically yeah, and like they had her like I can

(07:36):
tell you all sub details, but like the league, she
told me not to take too much, but like what
I can tell you is that like they like we're
basically trying to Like I think the thing about my mom,
y'all know, like if you know you know my mom
is like she don't back down from like no kind
of fight, Like she's very much like I.

Speaker 3 (07:52):
Know my rights, don't play in my face.

Speaker 4 (07:54):
And also I think get helps that like my mom
came here when she was really young, so she's like
fluent in English. Like they kept trying to play face.
They were like you should sign this paper and then
my mom was like, well no, because I read English
and that I probably shouldn't sign that. They kept trying
to like plant her face and stuff. So then they
had her like in Virginia. They took her to Louisiana,
and like that was like my biggest nightmare because I

(08:15):
was like, I just want her to stay in the state.
And then they moved her to Louisiana and then they
kept moving her different places. And during all these like movements,
like we didn't know where she was because like there's
a way you can track someone if you know they're
like a number and stuff, Like we just couldn't figure
out where she was because it was like not updating.
And then one day she like calls me and like
obviously she was like crying and like panicking, and she

(08:36):
was like, I'm in Texas. And I was like, ah,
because like Texas and Louisiana they're like kind of like
the strict states, you know, like when it comes to
like ice attention. So basically she's been in Texas ever since.
I don't say the specific one because you.

Speaker 3 (08:49):
Don't know why.

Speaker 4 (08:49):
People on that internet, no, yeah, because people have been like, oh,
where's your mom, Like, so we I.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
Was like, we saw your son on the podcast.

Speaker 4 (08:56):
Yeah, and then well, actually, like I don't know if
I ah same, right, but like my mom was told
by like people there that they're like, we know who
your son is because like because my mom was.

Speaker 3 (09:08):
Like evil did your video go virals?

Speaker 4 (09:09):
Like he has a couple likes? And I was like,
he has a couple of views.

Speaker 2 (09:13):
She was like, like a one hundred thousand likes nothing
like now she.

Speaker 4 (09:16):
Was like how many likes. I was like, was one
point two million? And she was like Anthony and I
was like sorry. I was like sorry, And that was
just me literally just telling people that it happened. And
I think it's because, like I think it also had
like a shock factor to it because people are like,
because I talk about these things so much on my page,
and people were like like, dang, it happened to him,

(09:36):
you know.

Speaker 3 (09:37):
So I was just like it did. It did.

Speaker 4 (09:38):
And that shows you, like, even when people are like
so prepared for things like it can still happen to you.

Speaker 3 (09:44):
Because I think like, even with all.

Speaker 4 (09:45):
The preparation in the world, because like I had my
mom prepared, like, even stuff like that can still happen.

Speaker 1 (09:50):
It's just like scary, like like that anxiety. Yeah, of
like is this really gonna happen?

Speaker 4 (09:56):
That happened on November fourth or like they well no, no, no, no, no,
like the day the anxiety started, like you know.

Speaker 3 (10:04):
Like that's what I was like, whoa.

Speaker 4 (10:06):
I was like, I was like and then I told
my mom was like you better like lock in because
you know, anything can happen. Oh yeah, but yeah, I'm
just like, wow.

Speaker 1 (10:16):
Are you guys? We're going to go on a quick
break and we'll be right back. Welcome back, you guys.

Speaker 2 (10:20):
Okay, So obviously your little brother doesn't.

Speaker 3 (10:23):
Know no, how old is he? He's eight?

Speaker 4 (10:28):
Yeah, he And the thing is like, I don't cry
until I see him cry, because like every time we
go for like visitation, he'll literally latch onto my mom
and not let her go, and then like you'll see
my mom start crying.

Speaker 3 (10:40):
I'm just like, oh my god, what is that?

Speaker 4 (10:42):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (10:42):
So what is visitation?

Speaker 3 (10:44):
Like, okay, what is it?

Speaker 1 (10:45):
Can you like, can you talk about what it? Like?

Speaker 4 (10:47):
So I was I was like nervous and also like
literally at the point of having an anxiety attack when
I found out that like it might have had to
be through glass because like there's also visitation where like
you can't touch the person. You can only like there's
like a piece of glass and you have to pick
up like one of those fake phones to talk to them,
right right, because I was getting like, yeah, I was
loky getting PTSD because that's how it was when my
mom was first attained and I remember that because I

(11:10):
was remember like, oh, this is where my mom works,
and like I can't touch it, and you know, like
the thing where it's like you put your hands up
to the glass like my mom would be on one
side out if you play like my little hand. And
I was like, if I see my brother put his
hand with my mom's hand, I'll use it.

Speaker 3 (11:23):
I'll use it. And then thankfully like.

Speaker 4 (11:26):
My mom because my mom was like, my mom's over
in there, like she asked questions like because my mom
is very like Viva like right, so she was over there,
so there's like, so do I get to touch my children? Right?

Speaker 3 (11:34):
And then they were like.

Speaker 2 (11:35):
She's demanding yeah yeah, and she was.

Speaker 3 (11:37):
Like do I get to touch my children?

Speaker 4 (11:38):
Like I want to contact visit And then basically the
guard was like what are you talking about? Everyone gets
to contact visit, so as soon as I heard that,
I was like, oh my.

Speaker 3 (11:44):
Gosh, thank god.

Speaker 4 (11:45):
Right, and then we like went in and it basically
the way that it works is like no phones are
allowed to so I can't even take a picture with
my mom.

Speaker 1 (11:52):
Okay, sorry, no. What does it look like?

Speaker 4 (11:56):
So it's like a I don't even know how to
describe it. It looks like a like a build, like an
office building that's like one floor. You walk in, it's
like it's all Latino's working there. Yea, yeah, yeah, let's
just I have my own thoughts, but I keep it
cute from my mom.

Speaker 1 (12:11):
Look, at the end of the day, everyone has a
job to do.

Speaker 4 (12:16):
That's why that's you know, you know, I'll keep it
at that.

Speaker 3 (12:18):
Yeah, I'll keep it at that.

Speaker 4 (12:19):
So you go in basically like you go in, you like,
you have to leave my phone in the car, right
because if not, they'll make you take it back. And
then you go in and you basically there's like this
room with like just like a bunch of tables and chairs,
and then we sit there and then we get an
hour with her to like we obviously can hug her
and like we can hug out the entire time because
they don't like they don't like monitor her like that.

(12:40):
At the end of the day, the way I think
about it is, I'm just like knowing the situation in
this country, there are worse places.

Speaker 3 (12:45):
My mom could be.

Speaker 4 (12:46):
And we talk about this all the time because my
mom is a person who, like, even in her circumstance,
she likes to be like optimistic or like just like.

Speaker 3 (12:53):
Look on the bright side of things.

Speaker 4 (12:54):
She's like, I could be in Florida, and you know,
because like the way that they're treating people in like
different places, because she's like, do you know they feed me,
they're like nice to me, And I'm just like, okay, mom,
like because in my mind, I'm just like I don't
want her in there, but but I get why she's
trying to remain optimistic. But yeah, and then they like
tell us like old time is up. And then that's
when like the whole like that's how the water works.

Speaker 1 (13:13):
I was just like, oh my god, and you said
that it's like maybe till like December, it's looking.

Speaker 4 (13:18):
Like, well, the thing is like it can depend like
the I can't talk about like the specifics about her
like case, because her legal team's like, you're right, but
I'm just hoping it's by December, just because obviously we
want her home for Christmas, you know, like I feel
like and also like my sister's birthdays in January, her
birthdays in January, so like, yeah, it's.

Speaker 2 (13:39):
End of the year. Can I ask why she.

Speaker 1 (13:44):
Why she didn't have her papers after the first time.

Speaker 4 (13:48):
Yeah, So like she was like deported and she had
like some kind of TPS, but like back then the
system because I think when she first received TPS was
before like Ice was even a It was like i
NS back then because like people don't know, I was
only created in two thousand and three, so it's not
like we've had it always, right, And she had like

(14:09):
some kind of status, and they like messed it up
for some reason. So then she like lost it for
a couple of months, and then she like was detained
back then, and then like she obviously like came back
and then like ever since then. I think because she
had that first room, she couldn't just like go in
and be like, hey, I want to like start my pathway,
you know, so it was like a lot of complications.

Speaker 1 (14:27):
Yeah that's crazy, and obviously, like you posted the video,
you got a lot of support and who's basically who's
it's just you taking care of everybody right now.

Speaker 4 (14:37):
No, so I'm like the primary person in charge of
my siblings. But like to say that, like the what
the phrase like it takes a village is like something
I'm living so hard right now because like me and
my siblings we moved into It sounds crazy. The people
are gonna think this is crazy, But it's my dad's
families that are like kind of helping me out because
they've always looked at my mom even though they're like

(15:00):
even though like my grandma's son, which is my dad,
is not with my mom anymore, she's always loved my
mom like a daughter. So she and like we had
also planned this, okay, like a long time ago. I
was like, just in case, you guys will help me
with them, right yeah, they were like of course, you know,
like in the case that anything like that were to happen,
So like we always had that like backup, backup, back
up planning just in case. So then obviously, like as
soon as it happened, I told my grandma and she

(15:21):
was just like, you know, like we'll help you with
the siblings because they know I work a full time job,
and like I originally was thinking, I was like, they
can just move in with me in California, but like
they wouldn't be able to have like my full attention
when I'm working.

Speaker 3 (15:33):
So like they help a lot because my granda obviously
stays at.

Speaker 4 (15:35):
Home, so she like cooks them breakfast, you know, she's
like hanging out with them while like I'm working because
I work from home. And then like obviously like now
on my videos there and all my videos, so.

Speaker 3 (15:45):
Like that doesn't really affect me.

Speaker 4 (15:48):
So yeah, it's like my grandma helping me out. My
aunt's like my mom's. They're like pretty marimanas of my mom,
but like to my mom, they're just like her sisters.
So they help us out because they're like my they're
like my brother is like godmother. They take them out,
and like I think they're like everyone is also helping
me keep them distracted, because I remember like when my
mom was first attained, I was like, oh my god,
a Disney World trip. But in my mind I was

(16:09):
like and like now I'm like wait.

Speaker 3 (16:11):
That was to distract me from the fact that my
mom was gone. So like I tried, like I took
them to Six Flags here the other day, and like
they had like a lot of fun.

Speaker 4 (16:19):
I do worry about my sister though, sometimes because like
she's like a little bit old, she's sixteen, Like she
knows what's going on, but like doesn't fully understand it
like I do, because it's just like she's right in
the middle of like aiden not knowing anything and like
me knowing everything. So she's just like, you know, and
I'm just like, just just go to school and do
your homework. You know.

Speaker 3 (16:37):
That's literally all I ask.

Speaker 1 (16:38):
It's hard because you're like raising them like in like
a very interm situation exactly. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (16:42):
So, like, but my family has definitely been like a
huge home like helping me.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
Yeah, okay, so through all of this obviously, my gosh,
what is like the one big thing that you've probably
learned or that advice maybe that you can give to
baby people that are probably in the same situation.

Speaker 4 (16:59):
I feel like I've learned a lot when it's just
like don't question like the lengths that your family will go.
I guess that's like the thing that because like my
I've had family members like my cousin is like taking
off work to come over here, you know, to help
me with them like while I'm working, because I had
like a work retreat in La this same week, and
like my other aunts have like changed their shifts at

(17:20):
work in order to be able to like take my
siblings out. And like, obviously I feel like, as like
bad as it the situation is, it has brought my
family closer together, especially on both sides. Yeah, because like
one side is like my mom's family and then the
other side is my dad's family. But also it just
like I don't know, I guess, like don't question the
lengths that your family will go to help you out,

(17:41):
because like sometimes I'm like.

Speaker 3 (17:42):
I'll be like super stressed. Like there was one night
I just needed a night out at the club.

Speaker 4 (17:46):
I don't know, like I didn't right. I was like
I just wanted one night at the club to like forget,
and my family like I felt like they were going
to judge me, and they were like, no, we'll take
care of them, like go have fun, you know, And
I was just like, oh, like.

Speaker 3 (17:57):
I needed that.

Speaker 4 (17:58):
And then at the club when I'm over here trying
to forget about it, people are like people come up
don't records and be like, how's your mom?

Speaker 3 (18:03):
I'm like I need another I was like, I was like,
I don't want to cry.

Speaker 4 (18:07):
In the club right now.

Speaker 1 (18:07):
Oh my god. Yeah, well look you have my love
and support. Thank you, you have my families. Because my
sister also, I told her that I was going to
be interviewing you or having a chat with you, and
she's like, shut up, call me when you're with him,
Oh my god, or whatever.

Speaker 2 (18:27):
And not only that, not only just.

Speaker 1 (18:29):
Because of like the whole ice thing, but it was
also because of your honesty about your Christianity or discovering it,
and like, you know, I think how you fell on
my for You page was so amazing because I fell
into the chosen love it like in my Love.

Speaker 4 (18:51):
For You what season No, I'm still on season two
because I haven't watched it, and like because like I guess,
well we can maybe talk about that later. But like
this whole thing has like been very tumultuous and like
my whole Christianity, like Christianity, yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:06):
Okay, I want to Okay where she could probably go everywhere?
But what inspired you want to like discover was it
the Chosen that you just wanted to like dipe deeper
into it or like was it I don't know like
what happened, like what started it?

Speaker 4 (19:23):
Ye near my couse were literally just talking about this
because she was telling me, like I guess like I
don't know if every Christian has it, but I feel
like Christians have like their their testimony of like what
made them go. Mine was sleep paralysis.

Speaker 2 (19:35):
That is just okay.

Speaker 1 (19:36):
Wait, did you grow up any and any so believing anything?

Speaker 3 (19:40):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (19:40):
And no. So I always like I was raised like
believing in God. But my mom, like Engla thought about it,
was raised very Catholic to the point where like she
just chose she didn't want to raise her kids like
that way. But she always like she I don't think
she ever like raised us to like believe in God.
It was just like it was just like a thing
that we just we just believe in God. But I
will say specifically like it was just God. It wasn't

(20:02):
specifically Jesus, like it was just overall God.

Speaker 5 (20:05):
Right.

Speaker 4 (20:05):
So basically I've and I didn't know anything about the Bible.
I didn't know anything about that, and like people think
I'm like I'm lying. I'm just like I have no
reason to lie because I didn't. I thought David, I
didn't know David and the life was like a Bible story. Okay, right,
I didn't know Noah's Ark was from the Bible. I like,
I tell everyone, I thought that these were just stories.
I thought these were just stories that like they told kids, right,

(20:26):
Like I like say this all the time. But there's
this one movie I remember if it was Jim Carrey
or someone. It's like a movie based on Noah's Arc.
I remember watching the movie. I was like, I think
it's called Evan Almighty or something, and I remember watching them.

Speaker 3 (20:37):
I was like, wait, this plot is really good. I
was like, this plot is really good, and.

Speaker 4 (20:41):
Then I was and then now that I'm older, I'm like, wait,
this is literally based on Noah's Ark and I had
no idea. So basically, yeah, that's how I grew up.

Speaker 3 (20:47):
And I have been to.

Speaker 4 (20:48):
Churches before, like obviously, like because my aunt on my
mom's side, they're like very Catholic, Like they would take
me to Mesa sometimes Yea. In my mind, I never
went there like regularly, like even now when I go
to MISA, like you know when they like all stand
up and sit down and you know, at the same time, I'm.

Speaker 3 (21:02):
Like, okay, I'm like okay.

Speaker 4 (21:04):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I'm just like I'm like literally
following everyone's directions.

Speaker 3 (21:07):
I'm like I have no idea what to do.

Speaker 4 (21:09):
And then when I was like in middle school, I
remember like we were like poorness, like porness, so like
my mom would just send us to like the local
Baptist church because they would like feed us on the weekends.
They were like oh yeah, like they give sandwiches, and
I was like sure, but I remember I would literally
be there and I was just in laala and I
was like, oh those sandwiches, like like.

Speaker 1 (21:28):
Like yeah, I'm hungry.

Speaker 4 (21:29):
Yeah, like I can't wait for this to be over.
But like it was like this nice Filipino lady, like
she would always pick us up at eight a m.

Speaker 3 (21:35):
Every Sunday take us.

Speaker 4 (21:37):
It was called like Lighthouse Baptist Church and Alexandria, Virginia,
and like yeah, like and I look, you want to
go back there when I'm older and just see how
it is. Only because like obviously, you know, like I'm
going to different churches to like talk about my experience.

Speaker 3 (21:49):
I'm like, why should I low key go.

Speaker 4 (21:50):
To that one for the Baptist Okay, but yeah, that's
kind of like the way I was raised, and like
even on my dad's like like they're I think, like
I there, like but they don't, like they don't believe.

Speaker 3 (22:02):
That you have to go to church like worship God,
like they just they just do it at home, you know.

Speaker 4 (22:07):
So all that is like kind of like how I
was raised, so like kind of right, like not really.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
And okay, So then back to like how did it
so you said.

Speaker 4 (22:17):
Yes, oh my god, that's how it like basically came
up again. So literally I remember it was like mid March,
and I remember I was just sleeping and I had
never I had had sleep process before, but not like
the demonic one because I've never experienced It's basically you
just like can't move, like you just like you're stuck.
It's like you're stuck, but your eyes you can move
your eyes, but like that's it, right, So in my mind,

(22:41):
I like I've had that one like maybe twice before, right,
but never I've never seen anything or like heard anything.
So this was like a night where I was by myself, right,
and like I have a huge like room, right, and
like my bed takes up maybe like an.

Speaker 3 (22:56):
Eighth of the room, so it's like the rest of the.

Speaker 4 (22:57):
Room is like basically like empty besides like my like
some furniture, and it was obviously really dark, and I
was like sleeping on my side because everyone's like you
got sleep pross because you were sleeping on your back.
I was like no, I was sleeping on my side.
And I feel like I don't know how.

Speaker 2 (23:11):
To describe it, like they were in bed with you.

Speaker 4 (23:13):
It's not like the bed was like going down, like
if someone was laying down and I heard like someone
who I know who, I'm not gonna say, but like
I heard them talking and I was just like, is
this you?

Speaker 3 (23:24):
Blah blah blah.

Speaker 4 (23:24):
They were like yeah, because also you can't talk, so
all this conversation is happening like in your mind right, like.

Speaker 1 (23:29):
This is more like imaginary, like yeah, and that was
actually happened.

Speaker 4 (23:32):
I was just like are you and are you in
my bed or like I was like is this you?
And they were like yeah, why And I was like
why the are you in my bed? Like get out
of my room.

Speaker 3 (23:41):
I'm sleeping, you know.

Speaker 4 (23:42):
And then I guess like like she went away or something.
And then I like I'm like I guess I like
had turned or something. This is like later on that night,
and I see like a figure of like a friend
of mine, like a friend of mine, right, and like
he's just literally stared at me down.

Speaker 3 (23:58):
Have you ever seen the movie Smile?

Speaker 2 (24:00):
No, I don't watch movies.

Speaker 4 (24:01):
Okay, Okay, that's exactly what my cousin said too, But
like it's just like a huge smile just staring down
at me. And I was just like hey, and I
saw my friend. I was like, hey, girl, But it
was something familiar. So that's why it was like it
was like scary, yeah, but it.

Speaker 2 (24:16):
Was you were questioning what's happening.

Speaker 4 (24:18):
It was more so creepy, right, And then so I
was I just closed my eyes and then I wake
up and then I see like this like tall figure
maybe like eight feet tall, like just like it was
like a shadow like, but it.

Speaker 3 (24:30):
Had the body of like a man.

Speaker 4 (24:31):
It had like long like nails and like red eyes.
And then it literally just started crawling all over my
bed onto me, and I was like, oh, hell no,
and I was like I was like absolutely not. And
it like started like it like I didn't even know
how to scrap it, like put like his hands like this.

Speaker 3 (24:49):
It was like like this.

Speaker 4 (24:50):
Right around my neck and I was like, God helped me.

Speaker 3 (24:53):
I was like, God help me.

Speaker 4 (24:54):
I was like, what is going on? But nothing was working?
And then I randomly I was just like I was
just like, you know, I was like fuck it. I
was like, deem, and I rebuke you in the name
of Jesus Christ. And then like I like felt like
I literally jumped out of like out of it, and
I like literally felt like a rush of like I
felt like I have never felt that.

Speaker 3 (25:11):
Kind of relief in my life.

Speaker 4 (25:13):
And I was just like and I remember sitting in
my bed. I was like and I remember I ran
to turn on the lights and I literally just sat
in my bed for like an hour just staring at
like the ceiling, and I remember I was just like,
what the ashual fuck did I just go through?

Speaker 3 (25:23):
And I was like, wait, why did that low key work?

Speaker 4 (25:26):
I was like wait, And then I immediately grabbed because
I had owned a Bible just because like I like
started like a Bible series on my TikTok two year ago,
but I never like I never picked it up like
I did.

Speaker 1 (25:35):
Like two videos you did the going through the Bible story, Yeah.

Speaker 4 (25:39):
Yeah, that was like two years ago, right that I
did two videos and I kind of gave up, but
I mainly got the Bible and I just.

Speaker 3 (25:43):
Put it next to my bed and I was like,
I'm going to sleep. I was like, and then I
went with like the life on.

Speaker 4 (25:48):
But then the next day I was talking to like
my family about it and like other friends and they're like, oh,
you should try like reading it, and I and I
posted that video just like randomly, like just like because
I story times all the time.

Speaker 3 (25:58):
I wasn't posting it for anything.

Speaker 4 (25:59):
And then like it got flooded with Christians in the
comments saying like oh.

Speaker 3 (26:03):
This is why, like you should read this, you should
read this. And I was like, okay, let me just
read the Bible.

Speaker 4 (26:07):
And then I started reading.

Speaker 3 (26:08):
I was like, wait, why is this kind of good?

Speaker 4 (26:09):
I was like, this is kind of like really good
because I didn't know it was like a book, like
a story time. I thought it was just like, oh,
you know, prayers and verses. I didn't realize it was
like an actual story being right.

Speaker 1 (26:19):
I was like, wait, wow, yeah, okay, so how has
your experience been Obviously, like with the traction of like
TikTok and stuff like, it's like influenced and helped you
out in somewhere.

Speaker 4 (26:31):
Yeah, I will say like the first months was kind
of hard only because like Christians can be very judgmental,
like especially me being obviously I don't know if you
guys know I'm gay, like i'm gay, so and I'm
also obviously openly gay on TikTok. And I think like
a lot of Christians were like, you can't be gay
and Christian, I said, who called themselves a Christian. I'm

(26:53):
just I'm just exploring, you know, like I'm just like
trying to see like if this is for me right,
and like it's just also just like just weirdness from
like different sides. Because like also people are like, oh
my god, Tony's gonna become like a like a conservative
like ex gay influence. I was like, no, sister, I'm
staying gay. No shade, like I'm gay like and not
saying that way, but I was just like I just

(27:13):
like want to learn, you know, like, and the thing is,
I'm also a person. I just like learning about different cultures.
So like to me, it's kind of just like learning
about like because the church is cultural, you know, so
like going to different churches like and I was like Okay,
let me just explore different churches, read different parts of
the Bible.

Speaker 3 (27:27):
And then I saw comments they were like.

Speaker 4 (27:29):
Oh, like you should read They were like, you need
to read the New Testament first, And in my mind
I was like, what are you trying.

Speaker 3 (27:35):
To hide from me?

Speaker 4 (27:35):
Because yeah, yeah, because people say like, read that first,
But in my mind I was like, what are you
trying TOHI for me?

Speaker 2 (27:40):
And it was definitely one of those people.

Speaker 1 (27:41):
Yeah, you want to know why because I grew up
also in a Pentecostal I also dated somebody. I dated
a girl who was in who was Apostolic. So I've
been what.

Speaker 4 (27:55):
Does that mean because I've seen that word a lot.

Speaker 1 (27:57):
Apostolic is just a little bit more tense. Hold on.

Speaker 2 (28:01):
Okay. The reason why a lot of people.

Speaker 1 (28:03):
Recommend the New Testament is because it is when that's
when Jesus starts his ministry. And then it's also the signs,
the wonders, the signs, all everything that Jesus ever did,
which is probably the most important versus what happened in
the Old Testament. Because the Old Testament is a lot
of rules, it's it's prophecies about what is to come

(28:26):
when Jesus comes, they're talking about you know, the prophet.
So it's like and it's scary Old Testaments. So it's
just like I gotta leave it. It's like it's way
more recommended because it's when you read about Jesus versus

(28:49):
what they say about God in the Old Testament, you
fall more in love with it and you start to
understand it better and you start because it's more simpler.

Speaker 2 (29:00):
But that was also.

Speaker 1 (29:01):
Because Jesus had hadn't gotten here, and it was just
like the Pharisees and they were doing the thing things
like those absolutely which you know can be presented in
today's world, like we have a lot of Pharisees that
push people away from Jesus that are harsh like babes,
God loves you when you're gay, and who cares? Like

(29:23):
actually that's why. So it bothers me when people tell
you like, oh, you can't be Christian and gay. It's like, who, Like,
you're not one to say that, you know what I mean?

Speaker 4 (29:34):
Until Jesus comes out himself and tells me that.

Speaker 1 (29:36):
I'm like no, Literally, everybody has their own experience, everybody
has their own time like or whatever. I don't like
the ultimate thing is that in the New Testament, the
ultimate message is that Jesus is love, God is love.
That is the only reason why he was sent here
was to prove to us, die for our sins, do
all those things to prove to us that we were loved.
He sat with people that were tax collectors, tax collectors, leprosy.

Speaker 3 (30:02):
People chosen exactly.

Speaker 1 (30:05):
No, but you realize that Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John
have almost the same things, Like it's just different perspective.

Speaker 4 (30:11):
Yeah, I didn't know that either. That's literally like the
same story told from different perspectives.

Speaker 2 (30:15):
Because I was like, so wait.

Speaker 1 (30:17):
Till you get to the Chosen, because you're going to
see all these people. Also, I'm like, you're going to
actually understand it, which I'm like, which is why I love.

Speaker 2 (30:26):
The Chosen because it gives like the perfect.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
Live view version of like what it is. And I'm like, wow,
this could this could really be what it was back then.
But anyways, so yeah, back to like I grew up,
I've experienced all of that and it pulled me away.
My uncle was a pastor. I grew up in church too,
so it was like that's why, like I'm very I

(30:50):
was watching.

Speaker 4 (30:50):
The episode you did, I think with your current pastors,
I guess you're talking about like Hispanic churches and yeah.

Speaker 2 (30:56):
And which is why I love them.

Speaker 1 (30:58):
Like that's why I told him, like, oh, if you
ever come, like go to that church, like it's great
because they just give a new example. And I'm like
in this new space where it's like where I really
understand what it is to have a relationship versus the
religion part, which is why I feel like the New
Testament is more relational and the Old Testament is it's
really yes, and it's scary and it's like, dude, like

(31:19):
it pushes you away.

Speaker 4 (31:21):
Aren't you.

Speaker 1 (31:22):
Guys. We're going on a quick break and we'll be
right back. Welcome back, you guys. Have you experienced that already?

Speaker 4 (31:28):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (31:28):
I have.

Speaker 4 (31:29):
So the first church I went to was non denominational.
That's where my cousin goes to amazing experience too. And
like the thing is, I do my deep research onto
all the churches I worked to. I'm like, let me
check it they got any scandals or anything. And I
was just like okay, yeah, So I went in and
I was just like and I don't like to because
the thing is I also believe in like respect. Like
for example, like when I was going to I didn't
end up going, I'm gonna go sometime soon, but like

(31:50):
to an orthodox church, I definitely wore something more formal.

Speaker 3 (31:53):
I was gonna show up in like like you're reading
the room, yeah, yeah, yeah exactly.

Speaker 4 (31:57):
So I went the first time and I I look gay.

Speaker 3 (32:00):
I don't know how to discus it, like I look gay.

Speaker 4 (32:02):
So I went in there like nobody like said anything,
nobody questioned me. I was like welcome with open arms.
They gave me like a free Bible. And I also,
like I will say any even like the church that
I didn't have like a good experience, I always feel
like I'm getting like a sign like very specific to me,
and I couldn't be just crazy, but like I'm just like,
these are too many coincidences and ones because like the

(32:23):
first time I went to church in like like ten years,
because I haven't been since middle school.

Speaker 3 (32:28):
Right, was them doing a sermon on new people to church.

Speaker 5 (32:31):
And I was like okay, okay, and then the pastor sorry,
Who's like I need to change my message real quick?

Speaker 4 (32:36):
Right, And then the next week I went to MYSA
and like Nisa I think was like the most familiar,
only because I've been there a couple of times. And
then what do they call pastors? The father? I don't.
The guy at the front talking he was like, it
doesn't matter if you go to church here in Woodbridge, Virginia,
if you go to church in Los Angeles, and I was.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
Like, not the two cities.

Speaker 4 (32:54):
I was just like, I was like, whoa, right, and then.

Speaker 1 (32:57):
Right.

Speaker 4 (32:57):
And then in the third time I went, I had
just watched the Prince of Egypt, okay, right, and then
he was he was talking about Moses and then he
mentioned Prince of Egypt and I was like, I was like, okay.
I was just like, these are a lot of like
specific like examples of things that I'm just like. I
was like, maybe maybe maybe I'm.

Speaker 3 (33:16):
Supposed to be doing this, you know.

Speaker 4 (33:18):
But I will say the non denominational church was amazing.

Speaker 3 (33:21):
The Mesa.

Speaker 4 (33:21):
I had already been there because I think my brother
was baptized there because like my aunt the Catholic.

Speaker 3 (33:26):
One was like, if I want to be his godmother,
has to.

Speaker 4 (33:28):
Be baptized in like the Catholic church, right, So I've
been there. The Pentecostal church was the one where I had, Like.

Speaker 1 (33:34):
When I saw you, I was like, God, please bless him,
protect him. I cannot wait for the review.

Speaker 4 (33:41):
That one was definitely the most interesting experience. And like, again,
me and my cousin have talked it's like forgive, you know, forgive,
so like I don't like talk bad about it anymore.
But like that was definitely like an experience that like
I was just like, let me slow down on this.
I was just like, maybe I'm not like doing this
right or something. But then after like a lot of
conversations with like family members like friends, because like most

(34:04):
of the people are surround myself with are just Christian,
and obviously they're all like excited. I think it's kind
of funny because like a lot of the people around
me are Catholic and they're just like routing. They're like,
we want you to be Catholic, you want you to
be Cathic. I'm like, I'm like, let me, let me
figure it out, you know. But after conversations, like I
was just like, Okay, I can't let this one experience
YEA like ruin that. But I think like the thing
that kind of deterred me the most, besides the actual

(34:25):
church experience was just like the hate online and like
it was just like a lot of homophobic stuff and
like things like that. But then I was just like, Okay, yeah,
maybe there's like it sounds it sounds crazy, but like
there's a thousand bad comments, but there's also ten thousand
good comments. Yeah. I'm just like, you know, the ones
with the most likes, the ones with the most attention
are like the good comments. And like a lot of

(34:46):
Christian like influencers making videos saying like leave him alone,
and I was just like, wait, I was like, y'all
are so nice. I was like, obviously I know not
all of them, but like most people were being like
really sweet to me, right, So then I.

Speaker 3 (34:57):
Was just like okay, yeah.

Speaker 4 (34:58):
And also I was just like I have never let
hate affect me before. Why would it, like I let
hat from Christians stop me from.

Speaker 3 (35:04):
Like doing what I want to do. And then I
made a video and I was.

Speaker 4 (35:07):
Basically I was like all the hey, I was like,
I'm gonna keep doing what I'm gonna do. And then yeah,
and then also a lot of people just tell me
I'm not doing it right when they're like, oh, don't
watch the children, just read the Bible, but I think people,
I think people are so stuck in like there are
ways of thinking, Like you were raised with the Bible,
so of course you're gonna know the Bible. I wasn't,
so like if I'm watching these like physical manifestations of

(35:28):
it to help me understand it. Like with the Prince
of Egypt. I remember watching it. I was like, wait,
this movie's really good. But like to my other friends,
like that was a movie they grew up watching and
like a book they learned, like they were reading Exodus.

Speaker 3 (35:41):
Exodus, right, Prince of Egypt.

Speaker 2 (35:42):
Yeah right, Honestly I've never seen it.

Speaker 4 (35:44):
But yeah, yeah, I think I don't know the book,
but like they like they were raising that. So I'm
just like I'm doing stuff like like you know, I
don't know if you know who Ali Yost is, but
she's like I watch her podcast. I'm just like that's
how I learn about things, and like I follow, like
I follow like influencers of like all different nations just
to like.

Speaker 3 (36:02):
Because I'm just like, to me, it's just like interesting,
you know. Basically that's like the whole Like yeah.

Speaker 1 (36:07):
It's intense, it's intense, but it's also I feel like
it's a beautiful experience. And I love the way that
you're doing it and seeing it because I think it
just gives more perspective. And that's why I love how
relatable and just like you're very honest about it, Like
I love your Bible stories, like, oh my gosh, I

(36:29):
lived through them because I'm like you were my inner thoughts,
like God, why did you do this?

Speaker 2 (36:33):
Like you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (36:34):
But I love how you share it and actually posting
about it. And I definitely recommend you don't stop.

Speaker 4 (36:43):
Like I do.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
No, yeah, obviously no, but you know, if you ever
thought like, oh, yeah, I'm never doing this again in my.

Speaker 2 (36:49):
Life, I think that it's just more.

Speaker 1 (36:51):
I think it draws people, and I feel like it
kind of gives You're doing what a lot of people
won't do or won't say out loud, and it's inspiring
and it's like it takes a lot of courage because
it's like for you to actually say something about the
Pentecostal Church, a lot of people struggle and have trauma
and like have difficulty actually talking about what they went

(37:14):
through in those churches. And it's kind of like the
ultimate thing. And I hope that a lot of people
can hear this and learn from you and whatever is
like at the end of the day. And I just
talked about this with my sister. It's like when we're
reading the Bible, when we're learning about God, wanted to
learn about him so we can understand ourselves better and
how to live and be just better people. And ultimately,

(37:36):
like it doesn't matter where we come from, who you are,
what you do, what you believe in. What will you
believe in a little bit?

Speaker 2 (37:42):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (37:43):
Like you got to believe in Yes, that's the ultimate,
Like you gotta believe in him. Yeah. But it's like
it's having somebody to look at as Jesus who died
on the cross, who was fully human, who never sinned,
who was like but still experienced every human emotion ever,
like to give that example of just pure love, pure

(38:03):
love and pure kindness, who he was around, what he did,
what he preached about, like the wisdom that you gained
from it, Like and I can't wait for you to
get to like even more levels for you to even
understand or to feel, because I'm sure you have like
certain moments and it's like, wait, is that God, have
you had that like is that God talking to me?
Or like do you feel like you're like yes, your

(38:24):
senses or like.

Speaker 4 (38:26):
My cousin, my cousin's like my cousins are like very
Christian something right, and then they're like, oh whenever, like
you like cry cry, that's like God touching your heart
or something like that. There was one time where I
was like I just felt like, oh my god, I'm
trying to get emotional, but like the day that my
mom was taken, Like I just randomly opened up like

(38:47):
the Bible, right, and it was like Psalm or something
like that, and like I remember reading the verse and
it was just like, oh, like I forgot what it's specifically,
or I don't think it was a song, but I
remember it was nothing but or like some part where
it's like call and I'll Siner calling out like something
like that, and I wrote in the Bible because it
was just how I was feeling.

Speaker 3 (39:04):
I was like, why are you ignoring me?

Speaker 4 (39:05):
You know? And like it was just like so like
and I just cried and I hadn't cried in like
so long, because I'm not a cry I'm just like
I'm supposed to be tough, Like I don't cry, and
like that moment, I just cried so hard for like
three hours and then like that was like when I
realized my mom was taken and I didn't know anything
at that point.

Speaker 1 (39:26):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (39:26):
And then like I like literally as soon as I
was done crying, like my friend called me and was
just like, we need to book your ticket to like
get to like Virginia as soon as possible. And I
think in that moment, I don't know if like like
in the last video, I've been posted it on taktok
for like a week only because like we've been here
in California. But like in my last video, I said,
like prayer does work. Like I feel like I feel

(39:48):
like everything I've prayed for, I think I've like obviously
I'm praying that my mom gets out, but like even
like little things that I pray for, I'm just like
just make sure she's okay, you know, just make sure,
like you know, like she has people in there, like
because it's lonely, you know. But then like I see
her like saying like she has like all these friends
in there, and like they all call her Jammy, which

(40:08):
is like our nickname for her, and I'm just like
and She's also helping so many people in there, So
I'm just like just like don't take away like her
optimism and like you know and like and like even
she'll call me and like because the thing is, like
my mom didn't raise as religious, so like hearing her
say like make sure aiden praise every night, you know, like, oh,
like I've been reading my Bible in here because they
don't give me like a tablet or like she has

(40:29):
like a tablet, but they did not allow to do anything.

Speaker 3 (40:30):
It's a video call.

Speaker 4 (40:31):
She's like, I've been reading my Bible and like even
like she's like as obsessed with like this one song
el Alfareto or something like that. Yeah, she like says
that when she hears the like the Catholic women singing it,
she doesn't enjoy them because she feels like she can't,
but like she just stands up to this side and
just listens to them sing.

Speaker 3 (40:48):
And then like.

Speaker 4 (40:50):
Now I'm just like, Mom, like if you know the words,
I look you, I would be singing even if I
wasn't like Christian like that. But yeah, just like and
I think like that's also something that has been like
pushing me through. Like if my mom like has so
much trauma from the church, and she's still like not
giving up. Why would I give up if it's like
so much easier for me, you know, like obviously it's
not easy, but like it's easier like by comparison to

(41:12):
like you know, have access to like all these things.
Keep going to church because like if she doesn't have
church in there, So like, yeah, that's why I haven't
like given up.

Speaker 2 (41:19):
I think that's beautiful.

Speaker 1 (41:20):
I feel like I can relate in some way because
the day that my mom the plane was it was
just lost, Okay, it hadn't confirmed death or anything. I
was already I was a worship leader and I would
sing at church, and that day I was set to
saying it was a Sunday. I was like, okay, the

(41:42):
only option that I have. Now at this point you
would assume that I didn't go. I wouldn't go, but
I literally had no other option but to go and
to like not because I was forced or anything, but
I was like, I am left with nothing right now, Yeah,
this is like my only hope, this is like my
only thing that's gonna keep me going. And I just
went and I say and I prayed. Now, obviously it

(42:07):
didn't turn out the way that I had prayed for
that I hoped. Obviously we're human. Things happened, and it's
obviously and I had to learn that and understand that
that a lot of things. We're also in the world
and a lot of people have free will, and nature
just happens. And there's there's the enemy. You know, there's

(42:28):
the enemy that already, like you know, it literally happens,
like God already knows what the enemy's gonna happen. He's
just preparing you for. And it's like a test of faith.
And I always say this, it's like whatever we're going
through right now, or whatever has happened, or you have
to see as a test of faith, how how much
longer are we gonna endure this? If we're handling this

(42:50):
right now, imagine the greater things that are gonna come,
like the fruits that are gonna happen and come from this.
And I'm not saying I'm grateful.

Speaker 2 (42:57):
But obviously my mom passed away.

Speaker 1 (42:58):
I would love to have her here saying that or
knocking that. But what I have learned and the way
that it's drawn me closer to God instead of a
way has led my life so much more farther, and
I'm grateful for everything that I learned, and I'm gonna
be praying with you and believing with you, and and

(43:21):
my only thing is that I do not want you
to like lose that faith. I want you to keep
believing and trusting that God, because you're not even like
a full believer, and you're already you're doing more work
than these Christians are of like twenty years, you know,
And that's that's sad to say, but it's like it's
better than anything that anybody is doing, you know, And

(43:44):
I'm it makes me so happy as somebody that like
it's like something like Drewyer and obviously you're sleeper. ELS's
you're like, I can't move, but no, but it's like
the way that already just that little thing launched you
into some thing more greater, and it's like, okay, like
all right, I'm doing this planning this little seed. Is

(44:05):
he going to make it out of this one? And
he already knows the answer. He already knows. And I
believe that you will, and I believe that your mom will,
and the fact that you're you probably even led her
to read the Bible and believe again, Like, and that's
beautiful and that's like the fruit of your labor, Like
that is you just that is your work. That is

(44:28):
something that you produce, and you should be proud of
that because that is something good and it is beautiful.
And I understand the feeling of like wanting your mom
to come home a thousand percent. You know, I grew
up a lot of time away from my mom because
she was working, and then one day to another, obviously

(44:50):
the job that she was working so hard for maintaining
five kids as a single mom, like took her away.
So I can understand the resentment and I can understand
the onliness, and like I can also see it from
your mom's perspective, you know, like how she may be feeling.
And I'm just going to pray that God brings her

(45:11):
that peace and that comfort and that strength because I
know that it's not easy. It's really not kind of
off topic question, but what's your relationship.

Speaker 3 (45:20):
Like with your dad?

Speaker 4 (45:21):
Me and my dad are cool. It's just that like
he's like a forty something year old Latino man, like
very very not not very emotional, like yeah, it's very stuff.
It's just like very like just.

Speaker 3 (45:35):
Like this like very monotone.

Speaker 4 (45:37):
We'll be like, oh is your feeling?

Speaker 3 (45:39):
Is your mom okay?

Speaker 4 (45:40):
No, like we were talking about I was watching like
the episode with like his mother and he was talking
about his come out story and like my cousin was like,
did you have a come out story?

Speaker 3 (45:48):
And I was like no. One time, I was just
arguing with my dad.

Speaker 4 (45:51):
And I remember I was just trying to make him angrier,
like I don't know.

Speaker 3 (45:54):
I was just trying to like fishim off.

Speaker 4 (45:56):
And I was like, well, guess what, I'm like, I'm gay.
And he was just like it's like what does that
have to do with anything? I don't care? And I
was like oh, I was like I was just trying
to make it mad. So like we've always had like
a very like kind of like a hey, how are
you okay?

Speaker 3 (46:14):
I'm getting to ha are you you know?

Speaker 4 (46:16):
Because I've always been like I've always been like a
mama's boy, Like I've always lived with my mom, like
they were like they separated when I was like really young,
I was like four, So I've always just lived with
my mom.

Speaker 1 (46:24):
So yeah, did it strain more when you told him
that you were there?

Speaker 4 (46:28):
No, I would I think honestly that like that fight,
like I wouldn't say brought us closer.

Speaker 3 (46:34):
It kind of didn't really change anything.

Speaker 4 (46:36):
Because like when we were talking about come out, start,
I never really had to like come out to like
any of my family members. They just I mean, girl,
they had eyes like they they saw you know.

Speaker 1 (46:44):
What was How did what was that for you? Like
did you feel like it was just always a part
of you or like you know how people say I
was born with it or like what how did.

Speaker 3 (46:56):
You discover that you were the girl?

Speaker 4 (46:59):
I was like, I think I was in first grade, right,
And then I thought I had thought I had a
crush on this girl named Claudia, right, and I was
so jealous of her man because I was like I
want to date Claudia.

Speaker 3 (47:10):
I want to date Claudia.

Speaker 4 (47:11):
I was like, wait, no, I look, you want to
be Claudia like her boyfriend's cute. I was just like,
I have a crush on her boyfriend, and I think
that's how I discovered it. And then I did like
the whole Like a lot of gays, we come out
as bisexual first because it's more like acceptable.

Speaker 3 (47:24):
And then I was like I'm not bisexual.

Speaker 4 (47:26):
Let's be serious like eye boys, right, and then so
I think that's how it was.

Speaker 3 (47:30):
And then I will say in high school, I was.

Speaker 4 (47:32):
Outed, Ok, I was outed, and like I was bullied
a little bit, right, But then I was just like, girl,
I'm a strategist, Like what do I do to stop
this bullying? I became friends with all the popular girls,
and they were like, leave our gay alone basically, So
I became friends with like all the popular girls, and
then I became like popular because I was like there,
they're like gay best friend, right, So nobody bothered me,

(47:53):
and I was just like and I graduated.

Speaker 3 (47:55):
Not getting bullied. I was like, yeah that's true. What, Yeah,
that's right, my little cloud in high school.

Speaker 1 (48:04):
From art though, very strategic, very you put a lot
of thought into what you do.

Speaker 3 (48:14):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (48:17):
I'm sure people will say like, oh, that's very Sagittarius
of you. I don't know.

Speaker 4 (48:21):
I'm I don't know anything about like horoscopes or anything,
so I know, like that's so sad.

Speaker 3 (48:26):
I'm like, oh, thank you.

Speaker 5 (48:27):
I know very little, Like I don't Malibra, don't judge me, no, please,
if you want your booty to burn, go ahead, like
that's not not my worry.

Speaker 1 (48:38):
No, I'm not really into that. I feel like I
not even used to be. I just feel like I
used it as an excuse for everything, like, oh, that's
because of cancer. Oh, that's because like you know, and
but that's very lay like.

Speaker 2 (48:53):
So I don't know.

Speaker 1 (48:54):
Okay, we are doing now lighthearted and fun.

Speaker 4 (49:00):
Questions my open books.

Speaker 3 (49:02):
I don't ask nothing you don't want to answer.

Speaker 2 (49:04):
Oh no, no, oh now I want to go rewrite everything.

Speaker 1 (49:06):
Like I wanted.

Speaker 3 (49:09):
The bomb. Yes, there's his bombay.

Speaker 4 (49:12):
I usually don't listen. I'm gonna be honest because Jesus
watching lying his back. When you said I both of
you guys, I said, oh, okay.

Speaker 2 (49:19):
What why you said anything?

Speaker 3 (49:22):
I did?

Speaker 4 (49:22):
I did, and I was like, okay, it shouldn't have
been that though. But then, but these are really good.
These not beef, they're turkey, they're chicken.

Speaker 3 (49:30):
Okay. Yeah, that's why I like it, because I don't
like beef meatballs.

Speaker 1 (49:32):
Okay, yeah, oh thank god, because I'm only turkey chicken
over here.

Speaker 4 (49:37):
As far as like everyone, I respect it because these
chicken meatballs are really think that curse, yes, really fucking good.
I don't know if you guys ever know I've been trying.

Speaker 3 (49:47):
Not to curse, and I'm like, I don't know, please
do no.

Speaker 1 (49:48):
Honestly, look, that is one of the habits me personally,
and I'm trying to let go just because you know,
like I'm just like, okay, it'd be cuter if I
just didn't curse, like I look more like I don't know,
like I just think that it's cute, like not too,
but it's hard when you've already.

Speaker 3 (50:04):
Been doing it.

Speaker 1 (50:06):
Anyways, I'm really glad that you love it. If you
could have dinner with any famous person, dead or alive.

Speaker 3 (50:11):
Who would it be dead or alive?

Speaker 2 (50:15):
Let's do both dead and alive dead.

Speaker 4 (50:20):
I'm trying to think maybe Selena because I love Selena
so much. My mom grew up listening to her and
then alive I love, like, oh my gosh, she's my
like because the thing is like I have a work
phone and like a like a just like my phone,
and she's like my screensaver on my regular phone.

Speaker 3 (50:39):
And then everyone's like, is this your work phone? I'm
like no, but it should be. I'm like, I'll put
it on like my work. I love her.

Speaker 1 (50:45):
I love her persona, just love her mute like everything
about her.

Speaker 4 (50:48):
Is just I drove from Virginia to Atlanta to see
her in a concert. It was ten and a half
hours I drove that day. I saw her that day,
so I went to see her in Atlanta. Then she
went toward I flew towards to see her, and then
she was just like, oh, I'm finishing the tour in Spain.
And I was like, I don't need an excuse to
go to Spain, but like this is even better. And
then I went to the very last show in Spain. Yes,

(51:08):
and I was literally like right on like with the
place that she was walking.

Speaker 3 (51:11):
I was like right there.

Speaker 2 (51:12):
How was that?

Speaker 3 (51:13):
It was amazing?

Speaker 1 (51:15):
Queen her bad bunny. But Carol is at like my top.
I saw her here in oday. I've been to all
her like little shows like before she even like like
blew off like stadium tour vibes. Flew out to go
see her in per room period.

Speaker 2 (51:36):
I love her, so invite me to that dinner.

Speaker 4 (51:38):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (51:40):
Okay, if you could be any animal for a day,
what would it be?

Speaker 3 (51:43):
Any animal?

Speaker 4 (51:44):
Mm hmmm, trying to think. I don't want to be
basic and say like a cat, because they don't do
anything all day. Like like they don't do anything honestly.
Maybe like and animal. I feel like the closest thing
like to a mermaids, like a dolphin, because like they

(52:06):
can swim in the water, but like they're still like
they could still choke underwater, So like maybe a dolphin.

Speaker 2 (52:10):
Dolphins.

Speaker 6 (52:11):
I feel like I heard something bad about dolphins, like
they're like a little bit mean or something, or they're.

Speaker 3 (52:15):
Kind of pervy. Never mind, yeah, like they know shark.

Speaker 6 (52:22):
My sister said an ewel, like you want to be
a bird?

Speaker 2 (52:30):
I was like, I don't know what I would be.
I pandas. I love pandas. They just sit there and
live their lives.

Speaker 3 (52:39):
And just they get washed all day.

Speaker 4 (52:42):
If I was a pana, like like my bamboo, like.

Speaker 2 (52:48):
At least to be cute, Like I'd be a cute panda.

Speaker 4 (52:51):
And they also fall down the thing, I would like
get up and I'm like sorry.

Speaker 1 (52:54):
Like I feel like I'm a little cumsy like them. Okay,
last one, if you can ask God one question. It
could be silly, it could be whatever.

Speaker 6 (53:06):
You'd be silly serious and you could receive the answer
right now, like you don't got to wait in that
prayer line.

Speaker 2 (53:13):
What would it be.

Speaker 4 (53:14):
I feel like the answer I'm supposed to say, it's
like free my mom for real, right, but like if
it's a question and not like a request. Loki's taking
so long because isn't he supposed to come back or
something like that, Like what's taking so long? Like all
these people tell me like he's supposed to come back.
I'm like, what's taking so long? Papa, Like come on now, dude,
Loki is only the believers. I'm like, give me a second, though,

(53:36):
Like I gotta get there right now, right now.

Speaker 3 (53:39):
I'm like I'm not ready.

Speaker 1 (53:40):
He's giving you time. He's giving a lot of time
and warnings. That's like the main thing. But yeah, I
ask myself all this time. I'm like like any day
now or whatever. Then I think about my family, like no,
actually they need to be saved, so give me a
sex so I get it.

Speaker 2 (53:56):
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (53:57):
You know what I always say this, I'm like, what
was the whole point? I mean, I know the whole point,
but why I did, Like why do we have to.

Speaker 5 (54:07):
Give the punishment of like you know, the period and
like all that stuff.

Speaker 4 (54:12):
So I'm just like I think the same thing because
I'm like low kiss Adam's fault. It is it's his fault.

Speaker 2 (54:20):
It is Adam's fall.

Speaker 4 (54:21):
If anything, I'm like a hot take. You should have
been created first.

Speaker 6 (54:25):
There you go, yes, But the whole point, and that
is that a woman was made out.

Speaker 2 (54:33):
Of a man, the missing rib.

Speaker 1 (54:35):
So when you get married that you're meant to be
with that one person, you're that missing rib.

Speaker 3 (54:40):
Oh wow, this is beautiful. I didn't know that you.

Speaker 1 (54:46):
Could have been a man, could have been made out
of you. But then it's like, well, man, you know
what I meant anyway? All right, Well with that, we're
gonna end with the Bible verse.

Speaker 2 (54:56):
Of the day. I end with the Bible Verse of
the day every every episode.

Speaker 1 (55:00):
So here it is today's is Isaiah forty three nineteen.
See I am doing a new thing. Now it springs up.
Do you not perceive it? I am making a way
in the wilderness and streams in the waste slam. This
reminds us that God is always doing something new in
our lives, even when we don't see it yet. No

(55:20):
matter what challenges we face, God is making a way,
and He's creating new paths and fresh beginnings.

Speaker 3 (55:28):
That's a hard path.

Speaker 1 (55:30):
This path is going like, actually I feel it though,
but you know what, it makes us stronger and it's
part of who we are to be able to be
that example for people.

Speaker 2 (55:39):
I feel, you know, to be that just wine.

Speaker 1 (55:41):
Ultimately, I love that you were able to feel company.
I hope the food was amazing, that you fell at
home period enjoyed that.

Speaker 2 (55:49):
I you know, you need a little home sometimes, a
little comfort.

Speaker 1 (55:52):
Thank you guys so much for watching today's episode.

Speaker 2 (55:56):
Thank you for listening.

Speaker 1 (55:57):
Thank you for enjoying this meal with us. If you
made it with us or if you plan making it,
it's in the description box below.

Speaker 2 (56:05):
Where can they find you? Share your socials?

Speaker 4 (56:08):
All my socials, I'm only on Instagram and TikTok.

Speaker 3 (56:11):
YouTube coming soon.

Speaker 4 (56:12):
Oh and I assume that YouTube will be twenty We'll
forget that out.

Speaker 1 (56:17):
There's something that it's like, we'll figure that out. But
is there still a go fund me to support your mom?

Speaker 4 (56:24):
Yeah, it's like in my like Instagram, bio and TikTok
because it is really expensive to have her in another state.

Speaker 3 (56:30):
But like the lawyers also are being really understanding.

Speaker 1 (56:33):
Yeah, well, I'm gonna also add the go fund me
here on this video, so that way you guys can
support that as well.

Speaker 2 (56:38):
You guys don't have to go all the way.

Speaker 1 (56:39):
I mean, go follow him, but you know, if you're
specifically looking for the go fund yeah, you know what
I mean. Please go follow him and support the goal
fund me.

Speaker 2 (56:46):
I think anything helps.

Speaker 4 (56:49):
Thank you so much.

Speaker 1 (56:50):
I loved having you.

Speaker 2 (56:52):
It's such a beautiful experience.

Speaker 4 (56:53):
Can I give you a hugg? Earlier when we were
talking about our mom, I was like, I want to.

Speaker 2 (56:56):
Hug I know I wanted to hug you too.

Speaker 4 (56:58):
Wait, I wanted you to first, but I was like,
what did you want me to go first?

Speaker 2 (57:01):
And I was like, wait, you're supposed to make the
first move.

Speaker 4 (57:08):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (57:09):
No, thank you so much. I hope that you also
know that you have somebody.

Speaker 1 (57:13):
If you have any questions, difficult questions, anything you please,
I'll go with you like I feel like you'll love
it and enjoy and winter. Anyways, thank you guys so
much for watching. Please like, comment, subscribe, follow Tony, and
I will see you guys next week