February 10, 2025 • 60 mins
Big Bank sits down with Keli C-L Pitts, known as The Femininity Doctor, to discuss her journey and mission to help women reclaim their femininity. She explores the impact of feminism on relationships, the importance of submission, gender roles and the challenges posed by modern society and social media. Keli stresses the need for introspection, healing, and faith in the journey towards embracing one's feminine core, while also underscoring the significance of domesticity in strengthening families and much more. Tune in and join the conversation in the socials below.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
It gets no better than this. You are now in
June to perspectives with big Let's get straight to it.
Never look back when you walk into your purpose. Welcome
to Perspective A bank Today, I got Kelly Pitts, the
Femininity Doctor with me. How you doing, Queen, I'm blessed.
(00:22):
The spirit is just I'm gonna tell you the spirited.
I used to ask people like a wellness check, like
where they melted it? But when you walked in, you
just lit the place up. I'm gonna give you that. No,
you have a great energy, right, How did you.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
All? Right?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
So I'm gonna let you introduce yourself, you know, let
us know where you're from. How did you get here?
What did you do? You know?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Okay, Well, as you said, I'm Kelly Pitts, the Femininity Doctor.
I'm from Atlanta, Georgia. I know I told you that
you were like what, But believe it or not, I'm
from Atlanta, Georgia, born and raised right here. That really
makes up so much of who I am, which is
a god fearing, purpose driven woman who is on assignment
(01:11):
to do something great and to help women reclaim their femininity.
I'm speaking of which what I do is twofold. The
first part is studying feminism's impact on women, families, and communities,
and then helping women reclaim their femininity so they can
(01:31):
attract better and thrive in relationships.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
That's dope, Thank you. What inspires you to create the
dot brand?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Purpose?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
God?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
This is just what God has me on assignment to do.
So I'm doing it unapologetically. So when I heard very
clearly from God, this is what I want you to
do in my twenties, I started walking this path.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Okay. How did your background like shape emold you to
be into this position?
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Oh wow? Okay, So I would say I grew up
in a rather traditional home. My parents got married, they
had two kids, they started several businesses, so there was
a lot of financial comfort, success and material things. But
and you know, I love my parents. I give honor
(02:22):
to my parents, but I also talk about the challenges
I faced as a young girl. You know, my parents
not doing everything they could to heal their individual traumas
before they got married, which they both acknowledge now, okay,
and what that looked like being raised up in that
(02:42):
and how you know, having a very comfortable, middle class
lifestyle can mask a lot of pain and hurt and
a home. But you know, I always looked feminine, and
my parents taught me a lot about being a lady,
A lady pardoned me, but you know, emotionally and spiritually,
there was a lot of pain that got passed down,
(03:03):
you know, from them. You know that they couldn't help
but to experience because of their parents and grandparents. And
how that misaligned me at a young age and how
I took this journey to healing at nineteen and I
knew I had to get back in alignment with my femininity,
which if you don't have a healed feminine core, you
(03:26):
can look as beautiful as you want to, but you
don't radiate that feminine energy because you're not. You're a
bit broken on the inside. So dealing with a lot
of those challenges at home from a very young age
and realizing when I was, you know, heading into my twenties,
you know, yes you looked a part, Yes you're beautiful,
(03:48):
but there are some things going on within that you
need to heal from your childhood. And so I took
my journey to healing, and God spoke to me and said,
your journey is not just for you, it's for other women.
I want you to go first, so you can reach
back and show women what it's like on the other
side of pain and brokenness that they commit themselves to
doing the work.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Whoam facts, queen? Nah? Them facts because you can't. You can't.
Once you go through something, it's your duty to show
people how you came out of it. It's your duty. Nah,
I'm facts. What what you think? Why do you think
that's such a controversial topic though? Why do I think
what like? Femininity is like a controversial topic.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Because so many women don't know what it is and
it hurts. So many women are hurting. Nobody wants to
hear they're not feminine. Nobody wants to hear that they've
been living their lives and so much of what they
know is untrue.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Wow. Yeah, so preach, come on with it.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
So it's it's it's it's a double listword. So many
and long to be feminine because this is what God
made you to do and be. You can't ever outrun
the desire to be feminine as a female, right, It's
your innerness, it's your inbornness. You say that, but to
not be that and to be scared, Really, so many
(05:19):
women are afraid. You know, how do I navigate life
not knowing the truth about my design? And how much
time have I wasted doing the wrong thing? How much
has this really cost me? How many people?
Speaker 3 (05:33):
You know?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Has this cost me? Being out of alignment with my
female nature?
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Do you think people just get comfiable and stuck in
their ways?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Oh? Yes, absolutely, It's one of the worst. Why do
you think so much intergenerational trauma exist? People are stuck
and then they just passed down what they know to
the next generation.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Wow, wow, not as the Uh well, I say, I
got a lot of questions for you. Can you elaborate
on your like, your niche in feminine theory and the
impact of the second wave feminism on marriage and family?
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Of course, well that is the niche. There are so
many branches in feminist theory. Minds just so happens to
be the impact that second wave feminism has had on
the breakdown of courtship, marriage and family. I mean, even
before we get to marriage and family, how feminism has
impacted the relationships between men and women just in the
(06:33):
dating realm. It's because it's everywhere that is the problem.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
How do you balance like being a doctor and just
actually your own stuff that you be dealing with. How
you balance that?
Speaker 2 (06:48):
So I'm not a physician, the Femininity Doctor, and thank
you for asking that. By the way, it's a brand name,
and I am an author, sociologist, feminist, theorist, and digital
entrepreneur the Doctor. There might be a future in the
marriage of family space.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Do you do? You do you help people?
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Though? Of course? You know, you know, God gives us
spiritual gifts. That's in Corinthians, and some of us do
have the gift of healing, and I believe that's one
of my spiritual gifts, healing. I'm too passionate about it.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
So how do you like, how do you balance like
trying to teach it? You know, you know, because I'm
a big I'm big on I don't like to speak
nothing nless I'm living it. You see what I'm saying,
because you know, we know better sometime, but don't do better.
Of course, you know what I'm saying. So a lot
of shit I don't say, you know what I'm saying
because I ain't really standing on it. You know what
(07:37):
I'm saying, and you know, until I till I tap in,
Like I can talk about change now I can talk
about dieting, and I can talk about those things because
I'm actually standing on them. But certain things that I
know about, but I don't use myself. I just stay
away from it. So how do you do how you
balance that?
Speaker 2 (07:53):
So you want to know how I balance teaching femininity
with could you repeat the.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Question basically what I'm saying, like, how do you how
do you remain how do you practice what you preach?
How do you remain practicing what you preaching?
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Of course want genuinely, having the desire to want to
be better every single day and not going easy on
myself at all. And Jesus Christ is at the center
of that. He's always holding me accountable to make sure
I'm practicing what I preach. And you know, when I
(08:32):
first got started as the Femininity doctor, I didn't realize
how impactful I was. I mean, even when I would
go outside to the grocery store, people would expect me
to look feminine, and at first, I'm like, oh, I
don't understand you know the big deal, you know, Or
I would just be out with friends or just with
(08:52):
friends inside and wanting to be myself. But I didn't
realize how many people looked up to me, even in
my own circle, and expected me to ways where that hat.
So now it's definitely something that I'm mindful of, you know,
having this big brand and not taking it for granted,
because when they do need an example, they do need hope.
So just making sure that I'm always my best.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
What's the challenges though?
Speaker 3 (09:17):
The challenge, the challenge remembering that I'm human.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
But at the very moment the challenges are are are
less with people and more with the spirit, realm, right,
you know, the devil being very upset that I know
who I am and i know what I'm supposed to
do and I'm not letting up on that. So those
are the challenges currently, Battling the devil, battling the enemy
(09:59):
who wants me to give up because he does not
want women healed, He does not want women to return
to true femininity.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
What's your triggers?
Speaker 2 (10:08):
My triggers? I don't have a lot of triggers. Dishonesty though, dishonesty,
people not being loyal, But I would say dishonesty and
disloyalty I think.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
So do all feminine women desire a macular man? Or
can they date of beta m?
Speaker 2 (10:36):
I think that I believe that the feminine core in
the feminine woman who's being honest with herself, desires a
masculine man. We're looking for our compliment. You know. It's
an energy, it's an innerness, it's a pool. So I
don't see how she can or a feminine woman cannot
desire a mascular man. What's so funny, know.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
It's saying it's because you answer the question correctly, like,
because it's like most women. No, but most women that's masculine.
They can't deal with a they can't deal with a masculine.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Dud because they're misaligned. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
So so if a woman is in touch with her
feminine side, she's gonna want a man, a man man, right, Oh.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Of course it's it's it's truly just a pool. It's
a natural attraction, you know. And can I be honest,
Even masculine women, when they're when they're allowing themselves to
be honest and when they're willing to heal those parts
within themselves, they too desire masculine men. The masculine woman
(11:48):
it's not living in in in the line, she's not
living in her truth. So she thinks that she can
not to be with a masculine man, but the truth
about who she is does desire or masculine man like,
She's just not healed enough to really really get that.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
Right.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
What role does submission play in like being a strong,
healthy relationship?
Speaker 2 (12:16):
My goodness, did you look at my pillars? Uh? Submission
goes both ways. As a Christian, I do know that.
So do you mean what role does submission play for
a woman in health.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Break down both sides?
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Well, yeah, you know the Bible says, and you know,
not to be all super religious, I respect that. Not
everybody's Christian, but the Bible teaches that submission to us
go both ways. You know, a man is to submit
to a woman and understanding that she is the weaker vessel,
she is the more gentle vessel, so be sensible about that,
submit to her needs. You know, be loving, you know,
(12:54):
as christ love the Church. Right, But a woman is
supposed to submit to a man's leadership and his authority,
not every man. Obviously, a woman has to have some
sort of vetting process and in her dessertment where she
can tell this is not somebody healthy and whole I
should be submitting to. But if a man's leadership over
(13:16):
time you've observed is fair and just. I think then
submitting to him is absolutely necessary. A man, a healthy
masculine man, will require a submission from a woman without
even saying it. He knows that's what his masculinity or
his his masculine court needs in order to lead properly.
(13:36):
How can a man lead a woman if she's incooperative
and unwilling.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Correct? What do you think the struggles is? Like Martin
day society? What do you think the struggles is? And
Martin relationships?
Speaker 2 (13:51):
What do I think? Or what do I know?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
What do you know? I'm sorry? What do you know?
Speaker 2 (13:55):
The breakdown of the family, and really the redefining of
gender and gender roles. You know, God made man, God
made woman, and he has a design for man and
(14:15):
woman because he understands the nature of both and what
it takes to be a successful society. But when you
start redefining what God said, and when you start being
too socially ambitious, then everything breaks down. So that is
(14:37):
the problem, which is why I'm so passionate about the
feminist movement and what it has really done to uproot
godliness and traditional values out of society. Here in the
American West, that is the problem.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Well, you think we have left it.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
When the sexual revolution hijacked feminism in nineteen sixty and
the feminist movement went from being about rights and opportunities
for women to preaching the message that a woman's true
liberation is found in the hyper sexualization, career, idolization, and
(15:20):
independence of herself, teaching women that being socially ambitious is
more important than being kingdom ambitious. What's for the what's
in the best interest of society and even yourself if
you're being honest versus here's what you should go and do,
(15:40):
because here's what the government says. Your true liberation is
found in what Really? I just need to tax you
and make you hate your man and pull you out
of the home.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
You said it happened in nineteen sixty seven, nineteen sixty seven?
What was it like? Was it? What was it to happen?
Speaker 2 (15:56):
So the Feminist which the organization I was called now
at the time, the National Organization of Women. I haven't
looked at the name UNTILMA but now was the official
feminist movement in the American West in the sixties. Their
(16:16):
agenda was to come together to vote on things that
would be presented to Congress, so they came up with
a women's Bill of Rights. Now, there were two gentlemen
or a group of gentlemen who really wanted to pull
housewives out of the home because they weren't taxable really
and also break down, you know, the family. You know,
(16:38):
people don't want to believe that, but it's true. So
you know, they really, as I understand it, bullied the
mother of feminism, Betty free Dan, out of the original
goal of feminism, which was to just continue on with
equal rights for women, equal pay, equal jobs, upward mobility
in academia, the workforce, and all of them, those great
(17:00):
things that any of us could agree a woman or
women deserved, you know. But by the time that that
that weekend ended, the feminist movement have been hijacked by
the agenda of the sexual revolution was which was really
toroot us from our traditional values in the American West.
And so you know, you see the hyper sexualization of women.
(17:21):
We see women walking around, you know, in lingerie, when
you see women you know, proudly, you know, naked. You know,
that's the sexual revolution that took over feminism in the
late sixties. And abortion was a big part of that
because they were preaching the message to women that children
and husbands were obstacles to success. So if you want
this equality with men, then how do you eliminate the
(17:46):
chance of getting pregnant? Right, So, because that's what's stunting
your growth in academia and the workforce, right of pregnancy.
So telling women that being more like men and aspiring
to the things that men aspire to has definitely broken
down society, dating, marriage, and the family.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
But you think, oh, so that was the agenda to
break it.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Down one hundred percent. One hundred percent people think that
we're still celebrating the eighteen forty eight feminist movement. The
feminist movement hasn't been about rights, equality and personhood in
almost sixty years. Okay, So that's the academic side of
what I do. And we've got so many relationship podcasts
today and everybody's really talking about the what do you
(18:34):
call that, the symptoms or you know, what happened, But
people aren't addressing the roots. So that's why I'm proud
of my work. In this next book, I'm producing to
really expose what's underneath feminism because it's not what we
think it is, especially you know how it's impacted the
black family because we were hardest hit by the feminist movement,
(18:56):
and our families are the bottom of the totem pole
across the board.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Do you think is do you think social media made
it worse? Of course in what way?
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Well? Opportunities, access options, and then again everything is so
so so sexual these days. So giving the sexual revolution
aka feminism a bigger platform, you know, how is? How is?
(19:30):
And I'm not just putting this on man, but how
are people to be focused and discipline in their marriages
or even in dating? If you know they can just
scroll up and see about twenty good looking men and
you know about fifty naked women. You're right? So you
know now that the sexual revolution has a digital platform
(19:53):
that reaches the masses and without leaving the couch.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
So what steps do you like a woman? Like? If
you had a woman that asked you like, how do
I get started? What steps would you tell to take?
What's the first initial step? And so on and so on?
Speaker 2 (20:09):
If she wanted to reclaim her femininity? Okay, I would
definitely to tie this all together. I would say, understanding
that the breakdown of the family has led us to
a lot of consequences So many women haven't seen true
femininity because they grew up with mothers in the masculine role,
and then they didn't have a father around to show
(20:29):
them the masculine. So introspection examining your own thoughts and
feelings about where you are today and what's actually going on.
So getting honest with yourself, and then retrospection looking back
over your childhood and understanding how that has shaped you.
Women who struggle. I had the opportunity to serve thousands
(20:49):
of women without fail. Every time I work with a woman,
especially one on one, when I talk to her about
why she's not feminine today, we start walking back whords
to our childhood and we always find the issue. And
that makes sense because from zero to seventeen, our formative years,
this is who we're going to be. Right, So if
(21:11):
you didn't get that example of femininity in part or
in full, and my goodness, especially if there was no
masculine to you know, compliment the feminine, then you know,
naturally you're Losso examining, retrospection and then you know, really
being serious about doing what it takes to change the narrative.
(21:33):
Wiping the slate clean is what I call it. In
my courses and then learning the truth about masculinity and femininity,
which is why I made these road maps for women.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Do you think do you think like a shift because
a lot of guys acting feminine now?
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Of course, Well, you know, one of the goals of
the feminist movement was to make men more human. You know,
women back then thought that men were callous and yes,
and that was their nature, which you know is sad
because all of the founders of feminism had daddy's issues,
so their their natural disdain for men gave them all
(22:14):
these blinders. But you know, softening the man was an
agenda for Wow, of course, let's masculinize the woman, soften
the man, and confuse the child.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Oh so and sola. So you're saying, basically, when they
started the movement, the movement had a whole agenda to
make the woman want to make it what it is today.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Basically, absolutely, And I'm my gosh, I could talk about
this all day, even the fathers of abortion. Right, we
have abortion because of men. Do you understand the tool
The goal of abortion was to take the control of
family planning and sizes out of the hands of men completely.
And who does God say is in charge of the family,
the man. So much about everything about feminism is to
(22:56):
dethrone the man and make it more feminine, passive, and
to push the woman out front. That was to give
women the sole voice and family planning and sizes was
the goal of contraception as well. This entire movement and
everybody connected to it has a goal of dethroning the man,
(23:19):
because if you weaken men, you weaken a society. Right
there you go, So, yes, men, men are more feminine.
That's we're not imagining.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
That for real. So do you think what do you know?
I ain't gonna still ask you. Do you think? Do
you know? Do you know that? Do you think most
women know that that's what they're doing when they embrace
the feminine movement?
Speaker 2 (23:43):
No, of course not. Like I said, women still think
that we're celebrating first wave feminism or the suffragette movement,
which was founded in eighteen forty eight. They have no
idea that feminism has shifted, and they're not supposed to
know the feminism has shifted. I mean, nobody will. If
(24:04):
you tell women, yeah, we want to break down the
family and we want to use you to do it,
most women would probably turn away from feminism. But you know,
it's it's this thing where you have to keep it quiet.
You know how certain celebrities or people start companies and
then they have to sell when the company gets too big,
(24:24):
but they get to remain the face of the company.
And that's the same thing as feminism. You know, a
bunch of men really own and operate feminism, but women
are the face of it.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Oh, a bunch of men own it.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
A bunch of men really own and operate feminism. Women
haven't been in control of feminism since the sixties.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Yeah, So how do they get money?
Speaker 3 (24:43):
Like?
Speaker 1 (24:44):
How they get money? They raise how they get money out.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Of Wow, I'm not gonna pretend like I know how
feminists raise money. I guess you know, charity and outreach
and all those things. But women don't know who and
what's really behind feminism. It's not even controlled by women anymore.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
So let me ask you some what's the difference in
what you do and what they do?
Speaker 2 (25:04):
What I do and what feminists do. Yeah, well, first
of all, I'm a conservative feminist, So I am a feminist.
I'm just a pro family feminist. I'm not a mainstream feminist.
I don't believe that men and women are the same.
I don't believe men and women are put here to
do the same thing. I believe in gender, I believe
in gender roles. I believe in the natural nuclear family,
(25:26):
and I believe in I believe in God. I'm traditional.
I'm not more on the progressive side of feminism, so
it's very different. They don't believe in gender roles, they
don't believe that women deserve special protections. That's the Equal
Rights Amendment to destroy gender and gender discrimination. When really,
(25:53):
you know, what you're saying is man and women are
the same. They can do the exact same things, and
we should not honor that men and women are different.
They have different roles, and everybody's role is what it
is for a reason.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
I just I'm not.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Saying women can't do what men do. But at what cost?
Tell you, why do you want to be like a man?
Why do you want his societal burdens to protect, laid
down his life to lead to provide? Why do you
want that? Why do you want to be combative? You're
not even built for combat. I don't believe that, and
(26:29):
God doesn't believe it.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
What would you tell a couple, Like, if you had
a couple that were struggling with roles, what would you
tell them?
Speaker 2 (26:38):
What are your roles?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
You know what I'm saying. Like, if you had a
couple that was struggling, like his wife wanted to be masculine,
he don't want he he's already masklar man, And you
know what I'm saying, what would you tell them?
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Wow? I would I would want to get into the
mind and heart of that woman and explore why she
wants to be masculine and how she believes she's going
to be successful operating in a space God didn't make
her to operate in. If God wanted her to be masculine,
(27:14):
he would have made her a male. So how do
you expect to be misaligned or out of alignment with
your nature and be successful?
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Somebody? Somebody? Uh, some many women are being successful. But
you say that'ship.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Yeah, because you said I have a colub How do
you expect to be successful in a relationship not even
fulfilling your your divine role, your your nature, your natural role.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Do you think when when like just savings of a
woman just not focus on a man, she focused on
her career, do you think that makes her more hard
for her to find like a husband afterwards, you know,
you know, like in the beginning like I'm not I'm
just focused on me, I'm focused on this, and then
they go get the money. Do you think that hurts them.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
With this generation of men, I think it depends on
the kind of man she's she desires to marry. I
think if she's looking for if she has a goal
of marrying a provider man one day, I think it
might hurt her. But if she's just if she's if
she's not looking to marry a traditional man, then probably not. Again,
(28:34):
I don't believe we should be looking to be I
don't think we should be socially ambitious to the point,
because that's what's breaking down society today. Everybody's going after
you know, material things or the bag or the money
or this and that, and it's like, you know, that
(28:55):
wasn't our grandparents and parents' agenda. Their goal was to
get married and star family and build together, and it
was more successful than what we're doing. You know, the
marriage rate is a record low for the country. We're
at a rate of six that six married couples part
one thousand people, whereas when our parents and grandparents are
(29:17):
coming up. It was sixteen, eighteen twenty one. You know,
we don't think we're looking out for self too much
and not what's good for society.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
What advice would you give a woman that was seeking
a masculine.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Man, Work on yourself, heal your feminine core, and that
masculine core will be drawn to you without a problem.
Now is he your husband? Well, that just depends on
you know, I believe God, but at least having the
opportunities and increasing the likelihood of you attracting mini masculine
(29:56):
man will improve. So heal your femine cours. And that's
where you know, I come in and talked talking to
women about how I did it.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
How important do you think it is to like have
faith and believe in God and spirituality? How important do
you think that is to.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Create feminine Oh, my goodness, very important. So in my pillars,
piety is one of them. Piety was one of the
four true virtues of womanhood when America was or when
America really leaned into those Judeo Christian theologies and Victorian morality.
(30:36):
Piety was a thing that Victorian morality pushed, and you know,
just being a Judeo Christian nation. I will see how
a woman can be be feminine and truly understand her
role in what God expects of her. Without God he
made to He knows you.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Why do you believe that domesticity is accentual strength, family
and society.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Because there's there's the there's the working sphere or the
productive sphere in the world, and then there's a resting
and recharging sphere. People need that. People have basic needs
and having a space where there's comfort, love, food, you know,
(31:34):
family and safety. That's that's important. Yeah, and again you
know when we look at my pillars, that was expected
of women, you know, pre World War Two to create
a space for your what did it say, your world
weary husband. You know, he needed that place to come
(31:58):
back to to get charged, stuff, be fed and loved
and go back in the world and do what he
does all over again.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Facts.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
Yeah, it's like a car. You need to get read
the domestic sperience like the gas station. A car can
only go so long without being recharged.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
What's the qualities of a strong feminine corps?
Speaker 2 (32:22):
It is feminine core or I would say gentle, quiet, soft, meek, gracious, grateful,
(32:43):
Definitely caring, compassion.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
How many of them it is, I ain't seen. I mean,
I mean, how many of them left with all that?
How many women left with all that? Right now?
Speaker 2 (32:57):
I mean, well, according to men, finding a woman like
that would be a needle in a haystack, would be
like a yeah, like a needle in a haystack. But
you know that that soft and loving, you know, truly
warm spirits. That's what I believe.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
What do you think turn them like riding on the inside?
Would you think women riding.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
Changing the nature of women? Again, I'd take this back
to feminism, which is why there are two aspects of
what I do. You know, the scholarly aspect and then
the self health aspect. Telling women that being women was
one of the biggest telling women, pardon me, that being
women was a mistake and that there's more freedom and
(33:40):
success in masculinity. That was a mistake. Making women feel
bad about being women was a mistake. So you know,
at first it started out like, you know, go be
sexually free, go be liberal and liberated, and men get
to do this, men get to have all the fun.
We're tired of being tired of being controlled by men,
were tired of being oppressed. Well, you know, go get
(34:03):
a career, Go get an advanced degree, go get a degree.
Well you know that's first, you know, it was. It
started out as just striving to get you know, physical
things right that the masculine would have, like the sexually
free lifestyle, the job of the career. But over time
that changes the inside, Right, you're in a masculine sphere.
(34:28):
You're striving to do things that men do, and then
you don't trust or like men, because that's the message
that's also being pushed out by the feminist movement. They
oppress you, they don't respect you, they don't like you. Right, Well,
that that you you hear enough of that will women
become hard And I don't want to be a woman,
and I definitely don't like and trust them. So it's like, well,
(34:49):
there goes femininity.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Do you think men? Do you think men play a
part in in that? Though? I think men play a
healthy part in it. Like, because you can meet a
woman that's nice, it'll and then you see us as
she got through dealing with this dude, she's different.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
She Yeah, of course, I believe men also have a
role to play in the breakdown of masculinity of course
they do in the breakdown of the family. So many
men haven't seen healthy masculinity, So many men haven't seen
healthy femininity right, especially in the minority communities. Is our
(35:27):
single parenthood rates are the are? I think that the
highest in the Black community. Wasn't always that way, But
you know, so I don't know what it's like to
be a healthy man because I've ever seen that. And
I don't know what it's like to be to treat
a woman with dignity, decency and love and compassion and gentility,
(35:48):
because I didn't see a man do that, and my
mom was not the best example of a feminine woman.
So I genuinely don't know. So, yes, I believe there
are men who definitely turn women sour or they have
the potential to, at least.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
What's been the most rewarding part of just this whole
journey is your brand.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
Seeing women who I've helped get back to the core
of who they truly are and go on and being
healthier relationships, some of them married. I've had women come
back to me and say, you know, I got I
tweaked that thing, and I got married. I found my person.
So that's been rewarding and also healing myself on the journey.
Not everybody can manage their own healing, but doing so
(36:33):
much of my own healing by being self taught by
way of the King Jesus Christ has.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
Been How do you see when you see your brand?
In the next five.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
Years, definitely another book on the table, grad school for me,
marriage and family therapy and creating more digital products for
women to heal and get back to the core of
(37:03):
who they are. Where retreats more just an expanded space
for women to reclaim their femininity.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Okay for sure, what partnerships is said about issue?
Speaker 2 (37:19):
What partnerships are still so early? I don't really I
can't say. Someone just can't say. But there are some
things cooking. I don't really have anything I can speak
on right now.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
Okay, let's see how does empowering women contribute to rebuild
in the family unit?
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Well, how do you get to family man and a woman?
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Yeah? Right.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
I believe when women heal and get back to the
core of who they are, I mean true femininity, I
believe men will follow. I mean there are healthy masculine
men already who want healthy feminine women. So when women
get realigned, I believe we'll see it up trend in
healthy courtship, healthy marriages, and family because I'm not going
(38:10):
to ignore the fact that women have unrealistic expectations. I'm
not going to ignore the fact that there are a
lot of masculine women out there who have that desire
to be with a masculine man for marriage, but it's
not they're not there yet themselves.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
What do you think what was the most challenging part
of just growing your whole platform, Like, what.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
Was the most challenging part.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
And did you ever have any doubts moments like where
you down yourself or wanted to stop.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
Recently, you know, from twenty twenty one to twenty twenty four,
I took a great a great loss, a lot of losses,
actually losing both grandparents, the company, running into a marketing
firm that did not deliver, you know, onto things. You know,
the growth being stunted. So a lot happened there that
(39:04):
slowed me down and broke my confidence. And you know,
just even the spiritual room, like I said, the devil
knows who you are. He doesn't want me healing women.
So those have been some challenges and obstacles of growing
my brand and stunting, stunting the growth. So I've definitely
had moments of doubt, like I don't think I know
what I'm doing anymore. I don't I feel lost. But
(39:27):
this year God really spoke and said, I want you
to get back to the core of why you started
doing this. It's not about a relationship with a man.
It's it's about a woman getting healed first. I want
you to be the femininity doctor. Leave the relationship spear alone.
That's a separate part. Everybody's got an opinion about relationships.
(39:49):
Your goal, your job, your calling, your mission is to
help women realign with their femininity because then everything will
fall in place for them.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
I agree.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
So I definitely at the end of last year and
at the top of this year, felt lost, like why
did I Why am I doing this? You know, I
feel like I don't know who I am in this anymore.
So I've had those moments.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
How did you reclaim? Though?
Speaker 2 (40:12):
How did I reclaim? Prayer and fasting, just really getting
honest with God, crying out so much like what happened
to me? You know what I mean? Why is the
devil so mad at me? Why did I go through
so much spiritual warfare. What am I going to do
that he is so afraid of? And how do I
get back to helping women and really listening to God
(40:32):
and letting him speak? And he did. He said, I
want you to talk to women about how they got misaligned.
Let's start there. So recently I started talking about father wounds,
and this week I'm talking about mother wounds because so
much women aren't. Women who struggle with their femininity in
adulthood usually experienced things in their childhood.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
Right.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
They our parents raised us right, So if there are
some challenges in our adult hood lives, it's because of
some things they did not get in their childhood. So
talk from a space of honesty, truth, and experience. That's
that's one of us.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
Love, that's though. I got the same when I do,
like ask a word with a word, So I give
you a word. You just ask a word with a word.
Okay you ready?
Speaker 3 (41:19):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (41:20):
Male? Male? Male?
Speaker 2 (41:22):
Female?
Speaker 1 (41:23):
Female? I'm saying female is the next word?
Speaker 2 (41:27):
Female? Oh?
Speaker 3 (41:28):
Love?
Speaker 1 (41:30):
Family, God, marriage, beautiful, submission.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
Ah that's my word.
Speaker 4 (41:40):
Oh okay, clarity, necessary, pure, beautiful, domestic.
Speaker 5 (41:54):
Essential, relationship, progression, healing, non negotiable.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Reality, might check, identity, everything, nature, truth, womanhood.
Speaker 5 (42:35):
Powerful sisterhood. Necessary empowerment also necessary.
Speaker 1 (42:48):
Transformation also necessary, gender essential alignment productive balance key authentic
beautiful vulnerability.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
Also beautiful.
Speaker 5 (43:13):
Partnership necessary, tradition, necessary, influence, blessing community necessary legacy, ultimate masculinity,
(43:38):
blessing femininity.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
Also a blessing perspective?
Speaker 1 (43:47):
What roads stuck out to you? On all those? Can
you remember one?
Speaker 2 (43:54):
Legacy?
Speaker 1 (43:55):
Legacy?
Speaker 2 (43:56):
Why that means? When I think of legacy, I think
of family, I think of last name, and last name
means so much to me when I think of getting married,
I can't wait to serve my husband and his last name.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
You know how people say legacy is what drives me,
or I'm always thinking about the last name or a
hustle for my last name. I'm there, that's his last name.
How can we make him proud, his lineage, his legacy.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Okay, that's dope. I got another, say my do cord
book of the week, and I see you got three?
You got doctor's order. The problem has found the name
leading heart right?
Speaker 3 (44:46):
Uh huh?
Speaker 2 (44:47):
The problem has found the name is the one I'm
researching for. I have currently written doctors orders and beating heart.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
Okay, let's break down dotors order for.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
It's a guy for helping modern women reclaim they're feminine.
So how do I get back home to self?
Speaker 1 (45:04):
Okay? What is the truth you said? How do I
get home?
Speaker 2 (45:08):
That's the book I take. I guess how do I
get back home to self? My feminine self got me back?
What does that look like?
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Hey?
Speaker 2 (45:15):
For what I knew it to be back then?
Speaker 1 (45:16):
Okay, So could you break because you break the book?
Nown Like, if we just get the back of the book,
can you break it down for us?
Speaker 2 (45:21):
Wow? I wrote Doctor's Orders in twenty twenty, twenty twenty.
I published it in twenty twenty one. It's been a while,
but the bulk of it is healing, forgiveness, understanding what
femininity is, and you know, getting excited at the end.
(45:41):
You know there's something in there about masculine and male relationships,
getting excited about men because we do need men, we
need each other. So that's pretty much what Doctor's Orders
is about, all of the essentials for what I knew
femininity to be back then. I've evolved so much.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
And the other one is what the problems.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
Beating Heart is the one that I've already written. It's
not published I'm thinking about publishing on a publishing it
parting me on Amazon, so you if you want to
purchase it, you know, I'm reworking my site. It'll be
on the side eventually, but you can also reach out
to me at info at thefemdoc brand dot com. But
Beating Heart is a book that I wrote to tell
(46:23):
women all the fourteen heart battles I was dealing with
that kept me cut off from my femininity or were
affecting my feminine core. You know, it was beautiful to
me because God told me to really write, like tell
women all the things that were in your heart that
were keeping you cut off from true femininity like anger, unforgiveness, jealousy, envy, lust,
(46:49):
and you know, similar things, and what women need to
do to get those things out of their heart so
that they can live a truly aligned feminine life. So
that's what Beating Heart is about. And it's not necessarily
about like when your heart beats, it's like beating overcoming hearts.
These are heart battles, These are matters of the heart,
and you must do what it takes to get these
(47:11):
things out of your heart because they're keeping you stuck.
They're keeping you blocked. So that's what beating heart is,
beating the state of your own heart, not it's dope.
Speaker 1 (47:20):
Yeah, So I don't know what not because I always
say that once you close your heart, you can't receive
love or get love. Right.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
No, And if if you're not willing to deal with
what's in your hearts, I mean, at least take a
look at it, then good luck exactly.
Speaker 1 (47:34):
Yeah, let's speak about the retreats. Is womanly and wine Country.
Speaker 2 (47:40):
Yes, Womanly and Wine Country is coming up in May.
It's special because I've grown so much, Like I said
twenty one to twenty twenty, for those were challenging years,
but I need it to be soft and humbled and renewed.
So I of who I've become today, just more aware,
(48:04):
more informed, in better position to appreciate, connect and educate.
So Wine Country is going to be a transformative retreat
for sure. More womanly, oh my goodness, emotion like an
(48:26):
emotional experience, but in a good way. Women want to
get free. So coming to a beautiful place like Wine
Country is already an experience. But to know that you're
going to be in the company of somebody who understands
you because I am like you a mate from the
same stuff as you, and I've been through what you've
(48:47):
been through. That's special.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
How if somebody want to sign up? What would they
sign a bit?
Speaker 2 (48:53):
So you can click the link tree on any of
my social media and Womanly and Wine Country will come
right up.
Speaker 1 (49:01):
What do you want a woman to understand about the
value of feminine in rareity?
Speaker 2 (49:07):
There's nothing else like it?
Speaker 1 (49:09):
You know?
Speaker 2 (49:10):
God made woman because man could not be alone. He
could not. God never said that a woman could not
be alone. A man cannot reach his potential. I believe
his fullest potential without a woman. What does that say
about you? And what your uniqueness is and how special
(49:30):
your role is in all of this? Right, the love
we give, the way we soften, comfort, compassion, you know,
the compassion that we're capable of giving. You know, the
ease that we bring to things, you know, the lighter side,
the joy, the calm, you know, all of that. I'm like,
(49:52):
why would you ever want to be anything else? What
you have to offer is so unique, It's essential. Womanhood
is essential. Imagine world where there was just men. All
this aggression, all this anger, all this violence. And I'm
not saying that men are bad people. But when we
look at testosterone, which is a driving sex hormone in males,
that is what testosterone makes you like? Really yeah right?
(50:12):
So you know, men and the world they need that softer,
calm and smooth, loving perspective.
Speaker 1 (50:21):
But do women got to be solved?
Speaker 2 (50:22):
Yeah, of course they do. That's where I came in
and that's where my work comes in, and women understanding, Look,
you do not want to be that. I do not
want to be a man. I don't want to be you.
I don't want your innerness, I don't want your societal roles.
I just don't enjoy being a protector, a leader, a provider,
someone who is called to lay down his life, you know,
and that burden being on me. I don't enjoy that.
(50:43):
So helping women to understand that. Listen, what they have
is not better than what you have. Who they are
is not better than who you are. What they do
is not better than what God has put you here
to do.
Speaker 1 (50:54):
What about women who feel like they forced in that position?
Speaker 2 (50:56):
That's unfortunate? And why are you forced in that position?
I know the answer to that, but do you Let's
talk about it and how can we get you back home?
You should not be forced in a masculine position. I
understand it happens, I do.
Speaker 1 (51:10):
Okay, let's have a conversation about Okay, I'm gonna speak
for one like, Okay, I'm all I got, I'm all,
my kids got. What do I do? How can I
be feeline when all I can do? I got to
get up. I gotta go where I'm come on, I
gotta clean up. I gotta do all this shit.
Speaker 2 (51:22):
First of all, I'm so sorry that all of this
is on you. Why is all of this on you?
What decisions did you make for disc being.
Speaker 1 (51:29):
No, I'm my baby dad. I said, fuck this nigga,
fuck that nigga. And it's just me now.
Speaker 2 (51:33):
So what's going on with you two? Where you you're not?
You can't attract a healthy relationship with a healthy masculine man.
Everything starts with you.
Speaker 1 (51:42):
Most of the niggas just some bullshit.
Speaker 2 (51:44):
That's not you. That's you pointing the finger, the finger
away from you. What's going on with you?
Speaker 1 (51:50):
That's how you said, yeah, I think they'll get it.
You said like he said this a little soft. You think.
Speaker 2 (51:58):
That's the thing about it. That's why I love my work.
It's it's it's it's you're you're forced to reflect. If
you point the finger away from yourself, you will be
lonely for the rest of your life.
Speaker 1 (52:09):
What is going on with you?
Speaker 2 (52:11):
Why can't we transform the core? I've done it. What
do we need to do to get you healthy, happy,
and back home so that you can attract something that
is working for you. I don't believe all hope is
lost because a woman has kids. I've seen women with
kids get remarried and have some help because they healed themselves.
(52:32):
They became better people. So what's going on with you?
Speaker 1 (52:36):
So basically you saying to break it down before we
get out of you saying, basically, a healed woman is
gonna track whatever's for her.
Speaker 2 (52:43):
I believe that, So I do. I believe that I've
seen it. I believe that there was this argument. You know,
there was a past and influence, sir, but we all
know you know who believe that? You know? Oh, I
can't single women are a lost cause. I know that's
not true. I've seen single women fine love again with
(53:05):
healthy masculine men because they became healthy feminine women. But
it took a lot of self reflecting, healing and reclaiming
the truth about themselves.
Speaker 1 (53:19):
So you can't heal without accountability.
Speaker 2 (53:21):
No, it's everything. What did Bishop jay Z say? You
can't heal what you don't reveal. He's you know, that's
some points. And to even want to heal means what
you had to get honest with yourself like that, that
there's something wrong. That's accountability.
Speaker 1 (53:43):
I had to do the same thing once you let
that mirror is a cold place to look.
Speaker 2 (53:47):
At it is, but it's the best place it.
Speaker 1 (53:50):
Is to look. So all right, let's break it down here.
Your core, your life. Yes, I think that's for men too.
Speaker 2 (54:03):
Though that's for men too.
Speaker 1 (54:04):
Yeah, you hear your core, and you gotta I feel
like you can't give a fuck about when nobody else
think about you.
Speaker 2 (54:12):
No, but you as in the real.
Speaker 1 (54:16):
Version, the real version version, Yes, the made.
Speaker 2 (54:19):
Up version, not the toxic version, not the version that's
got all these negative things going on. Because what do
people say, take me for who I am?
Speaker 1 (54:27):
You?
Speaker 2 (54:28):
Your bad habits are not who you are. Those are
bad habits that you've developed over time for whatever reason.
We're talking about the healed, healthy, aligned version of you.
That's take me for who I am. Let's get clear
on that.
Speaker 1 (54:40):
Yeah, okay, you say so. So how important it is
to be around the right people to heal everything. They
had a right company everything.
Speaker 2 (54:49):
It is everything. Do you know? I know people today
who are stuck. These people in there are fifties and
sixties because everybody around them is like them, not willing
to challenge them, hold them accountable, or even hold the
mirror to their faces. Everybody's like you. Of course, they
(55:11):
don't see a problem with what you do and how
you are.
Speaker 1 (55:17):
Right. Yeah, you preaching? Yeah, you preaching. You should be
the feminine preacher, the femininity preachers. Nah, because I feel
like and it just me and I ain't just speaking
on women because I don't like to seem like whatever
you call them dudes who against women because I love women.
(55:39):
But I just feel like, as a person, until you
clear your heart, what'd you say, till you beat your heart?
Would you call it.
Speaker 2 (55:47):
You overcome your heart? Till you beat heart?
Speaker 1 (55:49):
Yeah, till you beat heart, you know what I'm saying.
Until you clean your gut, clean your mental space, you
really you really fake? If you not, if you if
you ain't cleaned yourself out, bro and looked at yourself
exactly who you is?
Speaker 2 (56:07):
You really faking and not and not and not all
faking is intentional.
Speaker 1 (56:13):
I know. Yeah, that's why I had to put it
out there so people can understand, Like, look at like
actually said, am I faking or am I being me?
Speaker 2 (56:22):
That's a good question, And I said, all faking is
not intentional because people tense up when you call them fake,
and it's like, I'm not saying that you're faking on purpose.
I'm just saying that this is not who you truly are.
This is a representative.
Speaker 1 (56:35):
What do you think create representatives paying trauma? Yeah, it's
like a wall.
Speaker 2 (56:42):
But at the root of at the root of fear
and so many other things I believe is unhealed trauma
or unhealed trouble, unaddressed things. So now to go and
be liked or accepted, I've got to go and pile
up some stuff that looks and feels better the bubbles.
Speaker 1 (57:10):
You says pod on trauma. This we now.
Speaker 2 (57:13):
I think people create representatives knowingly and unknowingly because they
haven't healed their inner child and they know sometimes they
know or they feel who they really what they're really
going through, and how that makes them show up in
the world, doesn't likable, so they create more likable versions
(57:36):
of themselves or representatives.
Speaker 1 (57:39):
Do you think I'd asked questions at night? When don't
ask one more? Do you think a healed person can
help you heal? Of course, you know what I'm saying.
Like in relationships, like if you met a guy that
was fucked up, No, for real, but you see the
potential to him. Do you think you can help him
(58:00):
understand what he's going through?
Speaker 2 (58:01):
Like?
Speaker 1 (58:01):
Help him?
Speaker 2 (58:02):
Do you can? I believe you can help unhealed person
understand what they're going through? Is that all you mean
by that? Helping them understand it?
Speaker 1 (58:11):
I'm saying, help them come out of it. But that
takes a lot of patience though right.
Speaker 2 (58:15):
It just depends on where they are, and they're in
their level of accountability, vulnerability and willingness.
Speaker 1 (58:22):
They gotta wanted.
Speaker 2 (58:23):
Of course, I can't help you if you don't even
think that there is an issue, or you're not willing
to do what it takes to get healed at all costs.
Another thing I talk about in my course is you
have to really be willing to do what it takes
to get healed. There is no other way. If you
don't want this, then what are we even doing. You're
(58:43):
just gonna You're gonna pull me back, You're gonna slow
me down.
Speaker 1 (58:48):
When it is all said and done. What you want
your legacy to read when you're when you're gone away
from this earth and they researching you what you wanted
to read.
Speaker 2 (58:58):
Happier, healthier women, men and children happy, you're healthier families.
I help rebuild the family.
Speaker 1 (59:09):
Nah, I appreciate you coming on, thank you for having me.
No anytime. It's an open door policy. So whenever you're
ready to come back, you just let me know.
Speaker 2 (59:17):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (59:17):
Let them know where to follow you in, where to
buy your book, where to come everything, what they need
to do.
Speaker 2 (59:22):
So I do have a sad part is I have
a site, but I hate it, so I refuse to
release it. I recently had someone rework it. But for now,
all of my social media sites there's a link tree
in the bio, so just go to the Femininity Doctor.
You can research search it them sorry he Facebook, Instagram,
mostly Facebook and Instagram, and click the link tree in
my bio. There are my courses books.
Speaker 1 (59:44):
Yeah, we have it the Femininity Doctor. Make sure y'all
go to the Big Fact Network, lights or strive, Come
at to the Big Fast Network to next.
Speaker 2 (59:52):
Time another epic episode of Perspectives with Big Bank.
Speaker 1 (59:57):
Follow on Instagram at Big Bank at L. Don't miss
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(01:00:17):
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It gets no better than this. You are now in
June to perspectives with big Let's get straight to it.
Never look back when you walk into your purpose. Welcome
to Perspective A bank Today, I got Kelly Pitts, the
Femininity Doctor with me. How you doing, Queen, I'm blessed.
(00:22):
The spirit is just I'm gonna tell you the spirited.
I used to ask people like a wellness check, like
where they melted it? But when you walked in, you
just lit the place up. I'm gonna give you that. No,
you have a great energy, right, How did you.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
All? Right?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
So I'm gonna let you introduce yourself, you know, let
us know where you're from. How did you get here?
What did you do? You know?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Okay, Well, as you said, I'm Kelly Pitts, the Femininity Doctor.
I'm from Atlanta, Georgia. I know I told you that
you were like what, But believe it or not, I'm
from Atlanta, Georgia, born and raised right here. That really
makes up so much of who I am, which is
a god fearing, purpose driven woman who is on assignment
(01:11):
to do something great and to help women reclaim their femininity.
I'm speaking of which what I do is twofold. The
first part is studying feminism's impact on women, families, and communities,
and then helping women reclaim their femininity so they can
(01:31):
attract better and thrive in relationships.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
That's dope, Thank you. What inspires you to create the
dot brand?
Speaker 2 (01:40):
Purpose?
Speaker 1 (01:40):
God?
Speaker 2 (01:42):
This is just what God has me on assignment to do.
So I'm doing it unapologetically. So when I heard very
clearly from God, this is what I want you to
do in my twenties, I started walking this path.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Okay. How did your background like shape emold you to
be into this position?
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Oh wow? Okay, So I would say I grew up
in a rather traditional home. My parents got married, they
had two kids, they started several businesses, so there was
a lot of financial comfort, success and material things. But
and you know, I love my parents. I give honor
(02:22):
to my parents, but I also talk about the challenges
I faced as a young girl. You know, my parents
not doing everything they could to heal their individual traumas
before they got married, which they both acknowledge now, okay,
and what that looked like being raised up in that
(02:42):
and how you know, having a very comfortable, middle class
lifestyle can mask a lot of pain and hurt and
a home. But you know, I always looked feminine, and
my parents taught me a lot about being a lady,
A lady pardoned me, but you know, emotionally and spiritually,
there was a lot of pain that got passed down,
(03:03):
you know, from them. You know that they couldn't help
but to experience because of their parents and grandparents. And
how that misaligned me at a young age and how
I took this journey to healing at nineteen and I
knew I had to get back in alignment with my femininity,
which if you don't have a healed feminine core, you
(03:26):
can look as beautiful as you want to, but you
don't radiate that feminine energy because you're not. You're a
bit broken on the inside. So dealing with a lot
of those challenges at home from a very young age
and realizing when I was, you know, heading into my twenties,
you know, yes you looked a part, Yes you're beautiful,
(03:48):
but there are some things going on within that you
need to heal from your childhood. And so I took
my journey to healing, and God spoke to me and said,
your journey is not just for you, it's for other women.
I want you to go first, so you can reach
back and show women what it's like on the other
side of pain and brokenness that they commit themselves to
doing the work.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Whoam facts, queen? Nah? Them facts because you can't. You can't.
Once you go through something, it's your duty to show
people how you came out of it. It's your duty. Nah,
I'm facts. What what you think? Why do you think
that's such a controversial topic though? Why do I think
what like? Femininity is like a controversial topic.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Because so many women don't know what it is and
it hurts. So many women are hurting. Nobody wants to
hear they're not feminine. Nobody wants to hear that they've
been living their lives and so much of what they
know is untrue.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Wow. Yeah, so preach, come on with it.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
So it's it's it's it's a double listword. So many
and long to be feminine because this is what God
made you to do and be. You can't ever outrun
the desire to be feminine as a female, right, It's
your innerness, it's your inbornness. You say that, but to
not be that and to be scared, Really, so many
(05:19):
women are afraid. You know, how do I navigate life
not knowing the truth about my design? And how much
time have I wasted doing the wrong thing? How much
has this really cost me? How many people?
Speaker 3 (05:33):
You know?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Has this cost me? Being out of alignment with my
female nature?
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Do you think people just get comfiable and stuck in
their ways?
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Oh? Yes, absolutely, It's one of the worst. Why do
you think so much intergenerational trauma exist? People are stuck
and then they just passed down what they know to
the next generation.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Wow, wow, not as the Uh well, I say, I
got a lot of questions for you. Can you elaborate
on your like, your niche in feminine theory and the
impact of the second wave feminism on marriage and family?
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Of course, well that is the niche. There are so
many branches in feminist theory. Minds just so happens to
be the impact that second wave feminism has had on
the breakdown of courtship, marriage and family. I mean, even
before we get to marriage and family, how feminism has
impacted the relationships between men and women just in the
(06:33):
dating realm. It's because it's everywhere that is the problem.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
How do you balance like being a doctor and just
actually your own stuff that you be dealing with. How
you balance that?
Speaker 2 (06:48):
So I'm not a physician, the Femininity Doctor, and thank
you for asking that. By the way, it's a brand name,
and I am an author, sociologist, feminist, theorist, and digital
entrepreneur the Doctor. There might be a future in the
marriage of family space.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Do you do? You do you help people?
Speaker 2 (07:05):
Though? Of course? You know, you know, God gives us
spiritual gifts. That's in Corinthians, and some of us do
have the gift of healing, and I believe that's one
of my spiritual gifts, healing. I'm too passionate about it.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
So how do you like, how do you balance like
trying to teach it? You know, you know, because I'm
a big I'm big on I don't like to speak
nothing nless I'm living it. You see what I'm saying,
because you know, we know better sometime, but don't do better.
Of course, you know what I'm saying. So a lot
of shit I don't say, you know what I'm saying
because I ain't really standing on it. You know what
(07:37):
I'm saying, and you know, until I till I tap in,
Like I can talk about change now I can talk
about dieting, and I can talk about those things because
I'm actually standing on them. But certain things that I
know about, but I don't use myself. I just stay
away from it. So how do you do how you
balance that?
Speaker 2 (07:53):
So you want to know how I balance teaching femininity
with could you repeat the.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Question basically what I'm saying, like, how do you how
do you remain how do you practice what you preach?
How do you remain practicing what you preaching?
Speaker 3 (08:11):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Of course want genuinely, having the desire to want to
be better every single day and not going easy on
myself at all. And Jesus Christ is at the center
of that. He's always holding me accountable to make sure
I'm practicing what I preach. And you know, when I
(08:32):
first got started as the Femininity doctor, I didn't realize
how impactful I was. I mean, even when I would
go outside to the grocery store, people would expect me
to look feminine, and at first, I'm like, oh, I
don't understand you know the big deal, you know, Or
I would just be out with friends or just with
(08:52):
friends inside and wanting to be myself. But I didn't
realize how many people looked up to me, even in
my own circle, and expected me to ways where that hat.
So now it's definitely something that I'm mindful of, you know,
having this big brand and not taking it for granted,
because when they do need an example, they do need hope.
So just making sure that I'm always my best.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
What's the challenges though?
Speaker 3 (09:17):
The challenge, the challenge remembering that I'm human.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
But at the very moment the challenges are are are
less with people and more with the spirit, realm, right,
you know, the devil being very upset that I know
who I am and i know what I'm supposed to
do and I'm not letting up on that. So those
are the challenges currently, Battling the devil, battling the enemy
(09:59):
who wants me to give up because he does not
want women healed, He does not want women to return
to true femininity.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
What's your triggers?
Speaker 2 (10:08):
My triggers? I don't have a lot of triggers. Dishonesty though, dishonesty,
people not being loyal, But I would say dishonesty and
disloyalty I think.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
So do all feminine women desire a macular man? Or
can they date of beta m?
Speaker 2 (10:36):
I think that I believe that the feminine core in
the feminine woman who's being honest with herself, desires a
masculine man. We're looking for our compliment. You know. It's
an energy, it's an innerness, it's a pool. So I
don't see how she can or a feminine woman cannot
desire a mascular man. What's so funny, know.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
It's saying it's because you answer the question correctly, like,
because it's like most women. No, but most women that's masculine.
They can't deal with a they can't deal with a masculine.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Dud because they're misaligned. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
So so if a woman is in touch with her
feminine side, she's gonna want a man, a man man, right, Oh.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Of course it's it's it's truly just a pool. It's
a natural attraction, you know. And can I be honest,
Even masculine women, when they're when they're allowing themselves to
be honest and when they're willing to heal those parts
within themselves, they too desire masculine men. The masculine woman
(11:48):
it's not living in in in the line, she's not
living in her truth. So she thinks that she can
not to be with a masculine man, but the truth
about who she is does desire or masculine man like,
She's just not healed enough to really really get that.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
Right.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
What role does submission play in like being a strong,
healthy relationship?
Speaker 2 (12:16):
My goodness, did you look at my pillars? Uh? Submission
goes both ways. As a Christian, I do know that.
So do you mean what role does submission play for
a woman in health.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Break down both sides?
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Well, yeah, you know the Bible says, and you know,
not to be all super religious, I respect that. Not
everybody's Christian, but the Bible teaches that submission to us
go both ways. You know, a man is to submit
to a woman and understanding that she is the weaker vessel,
she is the more gentle vessel, so be sensible about that,
submit to her needs. You know, be loving, you know,
(12:54):
as christ love the Church. Right, But a woman is
supposed to submit to a man's leadership and his authority,
not every man. Obviously, a woman has to have some
sort of vetting process and in her dessertment where she
can tell this is not somebody healthy and whole I
should be submitting to. But if a man's leadership over
(13:16):
time you've observed is fair and just. I think then
submitting to him is absolutely necessary. A man, a healthy
masculine man, will require a submission from a woman without
even saying it. He knows that's what his masculinity or
his his masculine court needs in order to lead properly.
(13:36):
How can a man lead a woman if she's incooperative
and unwilling.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Correct? What do you think the struggles is? Like Martin
day society? What do you think the struggles is? And
Martin relationships?
Speaker 2 (13:51):
What do I think? Or what do I know?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
What do you know? I'm sorry? What do you know?
Speaker 2 (13:55):
The breakdown of the family, and really the redefining of
gender and gender roles. You know, God made man, God
made woman, and he has a design for man and
(14:15):
woman because he understands the nature of both and what
it takes to be a successful society. But when you
start redefining what God said, and when you start being
too socially ambitious, then everything breaks down. So that is
(14:37):
the problem, which is why I'm so passionate about the
feminist movement and what it has really done to uproot
godliness and traditional values out of society. Here in the
American West, that is the problem.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
Well, you think we have left it.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
When the sexual revolution hijacked feminism in nineteen sixty and
the feminist movement went from being about rights and opportunities
for women to preaching the message that a woman's true
liberation is found in the hyper sexualization, career, idolization, and
(15:20):
independence of herself, teaching women that being socially ambitious is
more important than being kingdom ambitious. What's for the what's
in the best interest of society and even yourself if
you're being honest versus here's what you should go and do,
(15:40):
because here's what the government says. Your true liberation is
found in what Really? I just need to tax you
and make you hate your man and pull you out
of the home.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
You said it happened in nineteen sixty seven, nineteen sixty seven?
What was it like? Was it? What was it to happen?
Speaker 2 (15:56):
So the Feminist which the organization I was called now
at the time, the National Organization of Women. I haven't
looked at the name UNTILMA but now was the official
feminist movement in the American West in the sixties. Their
(16:16):
agenda was to come together to vote on things that
would be presented to Congress, so they came up with
a women's Bill of Rights. Now, there were two gentlemen
or a group of gentlemen who really wanted to pull
housewives out of the home because they weren't taxable really
and also break down, you know, the family. You know,
(16:38):
people don't want to believe that, but it's true. So
you know, they really, as I understand it, bullied the
mother of feminism, Betty free Dan, out of the original
goal of feminism, which was to just continue on with
equal rights for women, equal pay, equal jobs, upward mobility
in academia, the workforce, and all of them, those great
(17:00):
things that any of us could agree a woman or
women deserved, you know. But by the time that that
that weekend ended, the feminist movement have been hijacked by
the agenda of the sexual revolution was which was really
toroot us from our traditional values in the American West.
And so you know, you see the hyper sexualization of women.
(17:21):
We see women walking around, you know, in lingerie, when
you see women you know, proudly, you know, naked. You know,
that's the sexual revolution that took over feminism in the
late sixties. And abortion was a big part of that
because they were preaching the message to women that children
and husbands were obstacles to success. So if you want
this equality with men, then how do you eliminate the
(17:46):
chance of getting pregnant? Right, So, because that's what's stunting
your growth in academia and the workforce, right of pregnancy.
So telling women that being more like men and aspiring
to the things that men aspire to has definitely broken
down society, dating, marriage, and the family.
Speaker 1 (18:07):
But you think, oh, so that was the agenda to
break it.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Down one hundred percent. One hundred percent people think that
we're still celebrating the eighteen forty eight feminist movement. The
feminist movement hasn't been about rights, equality and personhood in
almost sixty years. Okay, So that's the academic side of
what I do. And we've got so many relationship podcasts
today and everybody's really talking about the what do you
(18:34):
call that, the symptoms or you know, what happened, But
people aren't addressing the roots. So that's why I'm proud
of my work. In this next book, I'm producing to
really expose what's underneath feminism because it's not what we
think it is, especially you know how it's impacted the
black family because we were hardest hit by the feminist movement,
(18:56):
and our families are the bottom of the totem pole
across the board.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Do you think is do you think social media made
it worse? Of course in what way?
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Well? Opportunities, access options, and then again everything is so
so so sexual these days. So giving the sexual revolution
aka feminism a bigger platform, you know, how is? How is?
(19:30):
And I'm not just putting this on man, but how
are people to be focused and discipline in their marriages
or even in dating? If you know they can just
scroll up and see about twenty good looking men and
you know about fifty naked women. You're right? So you
know now that the sexual revolution has a digital platform
(19:53):
that reaches the masses and without leaving the couch.
Speaker 1 (19:58):
So what steps do you like a woman? Like? If
you had a woman that asked you like, how do
I get started? What steps would you tell to take?
What's the first initial step? And so on and so on?
Speaker 2 (20:09):
If she wanted to reclaim her femininity? Okay, I would
definitely to tie this all together. I would say, understanding
that the breakdown of the family has led us to
a lot of consequences So many women haven't seen true
femininity because they grew up with mothers in the masculine role,
and then they didn't have a father around to show
(20:29):
them the masculine. So introspection examining your own thoughts and
feelings about where you are today and what's actually going on.
So getting honest with yourself, and then retrospection looking back
over your childhood and understanding how that has shaped you.
Women who struggle. I had the opportunity to serve thousands
(20:49):
of women without fail. Every time I work with a woman,
especially one on one, when I talk to her about
why she's not feminine today, we start walking back whords
to our childhood and we always find the issue. And
that makes sense because from zero to seventeen, our formative years,
this is who we're going to be. Right, So if
(21:11):
you didn't get that example of femininity in part or
in full, and my goodness, especially if there was no
masculine to you know, compliment the feminine, then you know,
naturally you're Losso examining, retrospection and then you know, really
being serious about doing what it takes to change the narrative.
(21:33):
Wiping the slate clean is what I call it. In
my courses and then learning the truth about masculinity and femininity,
which is why I made these road maps for women.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Do you think do you think like a shift because
a lot of guys acting feminine now?
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Of course, Well, you know, one of the goals of
the feminist movement was to make men more human. You know,
women back then thought that men were callous and yes,
and that was their nature, which you know is sad
because all of the founders of feminism had daddy's issues,
so their their natural disdain for men gave them all
(22:14):
these blinders. But you know, softening the man was an
agenda for Wow, of course, let's masculinize the woman, soften
the man, and confuse the child.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
Oh so and sola. So you're saying, basically, when they
started the movement, the movement had a whole agenda to
make the woman want to make it what it is today.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
Basically, absolutely, And I'm my gosh, I could talk about
this all day, even the fathers of abortion. Right, we
have abortion because of men. Do you understand the tool
The goal of abortion was to take the control of
family planning and sizes out of the hands of men completely.
And who does God say is in charge of the family,
the man. So much about everything about feminism is to
(22:56):
dethrone the man and make it more feminine, passive, and
to push the woman out front. That was to give
women the sole voice and family planning and sizes was
the goal of contraception as well. This entire movement and
everybody connected to it has a goal of dethroning the man,
(23:19):
because if you weaken men, you weaken a society. Right
there you go, So, yes, men, men are more feminine.
That's we're not imagining.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
That for real. So do you think what do you know?
I ain't gonna still ask you. Do you think? Do
you know? Do you know that? Do you think most
women know that that's what they're doing when they embrace
the feminine movement?
Speaker 2 (23:43):
No, of course not. Like I said, women still think
that we're celebrating first wave feminism or the suffragette movement,
which was founded in eighteen forty eight. They have no
idea that feminism has shifted, and they're not supposed to
know the feminism has shifted. I mean, nobody will. If
(24:04):
you tell women, yeah, we want to break down the
family and we want to use you to do it,
most women would probably turn away from feminism. But you know,
it's it's this thing where you have to keep it quiet.
You know how certain celebrities or people start companies and
then they have to sell when the company gets too big,
(24:24):
but they get to remain the face of the company.
And that's the same thing as feminism. You know, a
bunch of men really own and operate feminism, but women
are the face of it.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
Oh, a bunch of men own it.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
A bunch of men really own and operate feminism. Women
haven't been in control of feminism since the sixties.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
Yeah, So how do they get money?
Speaker 3 (24:43):
Like?
Speaker 1 (24:44):
How they get money? They raise how they get money out.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Of Wow, I'm not gonna pretend like I know how
feminists raise money. I guess you know, charity and outreach
and all those things. But women don't know who and
what's really behind feminism. It's not even controlled by women anymore.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
So let me ask you some what's the difference in
what you do and what they do?
Speaker 2 (25:04):
What I do and what feminists do. Yeah, well, first
of all, I'm a conservative feminist, So I am a feminist.
I'm just a pro family feminist. I'm not a mainstream feminist.
I don't believe that men and women are the same.
I don't believe men and women are put here to
do the same thing. I believe in gender, I believe
in gender roles. I believe in the natural nuclear family,
(25:26):
and I believe in I believe in God. I'm traditional.
I'm not more on the progressive side of feminism, so
it's very different. They don't believe in gender roles, they
don't believe that women deserve special protections. That's the Equal
Rights Amendment to destroy gender and gender discrimination. When really,
(25:53):
you know, what you're saying is man and women are
the same. They can do the exact same things, and
we should not honor that men and women are different.
They have different roles, and everybody's role is what it
is for a reason.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
I just I'm not.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Saying women can't do what men do. But at what cost?
Tell you, why do you want to be like a man?
Why do you want his societal burdens to protect, laid
down his life to lead to provide? Why do you
want that? Why do you want to be combative? You're
not even built for combat. I don't believe that, and
(26:29):
God doesn't believe it.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
What would you tell a couple, Like, if you had
a couple that were struggling with roles, what would you
tell them?
Speaker 2 (26:38):
What are your roles?
Speaker 1 (26:40):
You know what I'm saying. Like, if you had a
couple that was struggling, like his wife wanted to be masculine,
he don't want he he's already masklar man, And you
know what I'm saying, what would you tell them?
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Wow? I would I would want to get into the
mind and heart of that woman and explore why she
wants to be masculine and how she believes she's going
to be successful operating in a space God didn't make
her to operate in. If God wanted her to be masculine,
(27:14):
he would have made her a male. So how do
you expect to be misaligned or out of alignment with
your nature and be successful?
Speaker 1 (27:26):
Somebody? Somebody? Uh, some many women are being successful. But
you say that'ship.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Yeah, because you said I have a colub How do
you expect to be successful in a relationship not even
fulfilling your your divine role, your your nature, your natural role.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Do you think when when like just savings of a
woman just not focus on a man, she focused on
her career, do you think that makes her more hard
for her to find like a husband afterwards, you know,
you know, like in the beginning like I'm not I'm
just focused on me, I'm focused on this, and then
they go get the money. Do you think that hurts them.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
With this generation of men, I think it depends on
the kind of man she's she desires to marry. I
think if she's looking for if she has a goal
of marrying a provider man one day, I think it
might hurt her. But if she's just if she's if
she's not looking to marry a traditional man, then probably not. Again,
(28:34):
I don't believe we should be looking to be I
don't think we should be socially ambitious to the point,
because that's what's breaking down society today. Everybody's going after
you know, material things or the bag or the money
or this and that, and it's like, you know, that
(28:55):
wasn't our grandparents and parents' agenda. Their goal was to
get married and star family and build together, and it
was more successful than what we're doing. You know, the
marriage rate is a record low for the country. We're
at a rate of six that six married couples part
one thousand people, whereas when our parents and grandparents are
(29:17):
coming up. It was sixteen, eighteen twenty one. You know,
we don't think we're looking out for self too much
and not what's good for society.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
What advice would you give a woman that was seeking
a masculine.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Man, Work on yourself, heal your feminine core, and that
masculine core will be drawn to you without a problem.
Now is he your husband? Well, that just depends on
you know, I believe God, but at least having the
opportunities and increasing the likelihood of you attracting mini masculine
(29:56):
man will improve. So heal your femine cours. And that's
where you know, I come in and talked talking to
women about how I did it.
Speaker 1 (30:05):
How important do you think it is to like have
faith and believe in God and spirituality? How important do
you think that is to.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Create feminine Oh, my goodness, very important. So in my pillars,
piety is one of them. Piety was one of the
four true virtues of womanhood when America was or when
America really leaned into those Judeo Christian theologies and Victorian morality.
(30:36):
Piety was a thing that Victorian morality pushed, and you know,
just being a Judeo Christian nation. I will see how
a woman can be be feminine and truly understand her
role in what God expects of her. Without God he
made to He knows you.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Why do you believe that domesticity is accentual strength, family
and society.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Because there's there's the there's the working sphere or the
productive sphere in the world, and then there's a resting
and recharging sphere. People need that. People have basic needs
and having a space where there's comfort, love, food, you know,
(31:34):
family and safety. That's that's important. Yeah, and again you
know when we look at my pillars, that was expected
of women, you know, pre World War Two to create
a space for your what did it say, your world
weary husband. You know, he needed that place to come
(31:58):
back to to get charged, stuff, be fed and loved
and go back in the world and do what he
does all over again.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Facts.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
Yeah, it's like a car. You need to get read
the domestic sperience like the gas station. A car can
only go so long without being recharged.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
What's the qualities of a strong feminine corps?
Speaker 2 (32:22):
It is feminine core or I would say gentle, quiet, soft, meek, gracious, grateful,
(32:43):
Definitely caring, compassion.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
How many of them it is, I ain't seen. I mean,
I mean, how many of them left with all that?
How many women left with all that? Right now?
Speaker 2 (32:57):
I mean, well, according to men, finding a woman like
that would be a needle in a haystack, would be
like a yeah, like a needle in a haystack. But
you know that that soft and loving, you know, truly
warm spirits. That's what I believe.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
What do you think turn them like riding on the inside?
Would you think women riding.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
Changing the nature of women? Again, I'd take this back
to feminism, which is why there are two aspects of
what I do. You know, the scholarly aspect and then
the self health aspect. Telling women that being women was
one of the biggest telling women, pardon me, that being
women was a mistake and that there's more freedom and
(33:40):
success in masculinity. That was a mistake. Making women feel
bad about being women was a mistake. So you know,
at first it started out like, you know, go be
sexually free, go be liberal and liberated, and men get
to do this, men get to have all the fun.
We're tired of being tired of being controlled by men,
were tired of being oppressed. Well, you know, go get
(34:03):
a career, Go get an advanced degree, go get a degree.
Well you know that's first, you know, it was. It
started out as just striving to get you know, physical
things right that the masculine would have, like the sexually
free lifestyle, the job of the career. But over time
that changes the inside, Right, you're in a masculine sphere.
(34:28):
You're striving to do things that men do, and then
you don't trust or like men, because that's the message
that's also being pushed out by the feminist movement. They
oppress you, they don't respect you, they don't like you. Right, Well,
that that you you hear enough of that will women
become hard And I don't want to be a woman,
and I definitely don't like and trust them. So it's like, well,
(34:49):
there goes femininity.
Speaker 1 (34:52):
Do you think men? Do you think men play a
part in in that? Though? I think men play a
healthy part in it. Like, because you can meet a
woman that's nice, it'll and then you see us as
she got through dealing with this dude, she's different.
Speaker 2 (35:05):
She Yeah, of course, I believe men also have a
role to play in the breakdown of masculinity of course
they do in the breakdown of the family. So many
men haven't seen healthy masculinity, So many men haven't seen
healthy femininity right, especially in the minority communities. Is our
(35:27):
single parenthood rates are the are? I think that the
highest in the Black community. Wasn't always that way, But
you know, so I don't know what it's like to
be a healthy man because I've ever seen that. And
I don't know what it's like to be to treat
a woman with dignity, decency and love and compassion and gentility,
(35:48):
because I didn't see a man do that, and my
mom was not the best example of a feminine woman.
So I genuinely don't know. So, yes, I believe there
are men who definitely turn women sour or they have
the potential to, at least.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
What's been the most rewarding part of just this whole
journey is your brand.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
Seeing women who I've helped get back to the core
of who they truly are and go on and being
healthier relationships, some of them married. I've had women come
back to me and say, you know, I got I
tweaked that thing, and I got married. I found my person.
So that's been rewarding and also healing myself on the journey.
Not everybody can manage their own healing, but doing so
(36:33):
much of my own healing by being self taught by
way of the King Jesus Christ has.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
Been How do you see when you see your brand?
In the next five.
Speaker 2 (36:43):
Years, definitely another book on the table, grad school for me,
marriage and family therapy and creating more digital products for
women to heal and get back to the core of
(37:03):
who they are. Where retreats more just an expanded space
for women to reclaim their femininity.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
Okay for sure, what partnerships is said about issue?
Speaker 2 (37:19):
What partnerships are still so early? I don't really I
can't say. Someone just can't say. But there are some
things cooking. I don't really have anything I can speak
on right now.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
Okay, let's see how does empowering women contribute to rebuild
in the family unit?
Speaker 2 (37:41):
Well, how do you get to family man and a woman?
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Yeah? Right.
Speaker 2 (37:48):
I believe when women heal and get back to the
core of who they are, I mean true femininity, I
believe men will follow. I mean there are healthy masculine
men already who want healthy feminine women. So when women
get realigned, I believe we'll see it up trend in
healthy courtship, healthy marriages, and family because I'm not going
(38:10):
to ignore the fact that women have unrealistic expectations. I'm
not going to ignore the fact that there are a
lot of masculine women out there who have that desire
to be with a masculine man for marriage, but it's
not they're not there yet themselves.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
What do you think what was the most challenging part
of just growing your whole platform, Like, what.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
Was the most challenging part.
Speaker 1 (38:38):
And did you ever have any doubts moments like where
you down yourself or wanted to stop.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
Recently, you know, from twenty twenty one to twenty twenty four,
I took a great a great loss, a lot of losses,
actually losing both grandparents, the company, running into a marketing
firm that did not deliver, you know, onto things. You know,
the growth being stunted. So a lot happened there that
(39:04):
slowed me down and broke my confidence. And you know,
just even the spiritual room, like I said, the devil
knows who you are. He doesn't want me healing women.
So those have been some challenges and obstacles of growing
my brand and stunting, stunting the growth. So I've definitely
had moments of doubt, like I don't think I know
what I'm doing anymore. I don't I feel lost. But
(39:27):
this year God really spoke and said, I want you
to get back to the core of why you started
doing this. It's not about a relationship with a man.
It's it's about a woman getting healed first. I want
you to be the femininity doctor. Leave the relationship spear alone.
That's a separate part. Everybody's got an opinion about relationships.
(39:49):
Your goal, your job, your calling, your mission is to
help women realign with their femininity because then everything will
fall in place for them.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
I agree.
Speaker 2 (39:58):
So I definitely at the end of last year and
at the top of this year, felt lost, like why
did I Why am I doing this? You know, I
feel like I don't know who I am in this anymore.
So I've had those moments.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
How did you reclaim? Though?
Speaker 2 (40:12):
How did I reclaim? Prayer and fasting, just really getting
honest with God, crying out so much like what happened
to me? You know what I mean? Why is the
devil so mad at me? Why did I go through
so much spiritual warfare. What am I going to do
that he is so afraid of? And how do I
get back to helping women and really listening to God
(40:32):
and letting him speak? And he did. He said, I
want you to talk to women about how they got misaligned.
Let's start there. So recently I started talking about father wounds,
and this week I'm talking about mother wounds because so
much women aren't. Women who struggle with their femininity in
adulthood usually experienced things in their childhood.
Speaker 1 (40:53):
Right.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
They our parents raised us right, So if there are
some challenges in our adult hood lives, it's because of
some things they did not get in their childhood. So
talk from a space of honesty, truth, and experience. That's
that's one of us.
Speaker 1 (41:10):
Love, that's though. I got the same when I do,
like ask a word with a word, So I give
you a word. You just ask a word with a word.
Okay you ready?
Speaker 3 (41:19):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (41:20):
Male? Male? Male?
Speaker 2 (41:22):
Female?
Speaker 1 (41:23):
Female? I'm saying female is the next word?
Speaker 2 (41:27):
Female? Oh?
Speaker 3 (41:28):
Love?
Speaker 1 (41:30):
Family, God, marriage, beautiful, submission.
Speaker 2 (41:36):
Ah that's my word.
Speaker 4 (41:40):
Oh okay, clarity, necessary, pure, beautiful, domestic.
Speaker 5 (41:54):
Essential, relationship, progression, healing, non negotiable.
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Reality, might check, identity, everything, nature, truth, womanhood.
Speaker 5 (42:35):
Powerful sisterhood. Necessary empowerment also necessary.
Speaker 1 (42:48):
Transformation also necessary, gender essential alignment productive balance key authentic
beautiful vulnerability.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
Also beautiful.
Speaker 5 (43:13):
Partnership necessary, tradition, necessary, influence, blessing community necessary legacy, ultimate masculinity,
(43:38):
blessing femininity.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
Also a blessing perspective?
Speaker 1 (43:47):
What roads stuck out to you? On all those? Can
you remember one?
Speaker 2 (43:54):
Legacy?
Speaker 1 (43:55):
Legacy?
Speaker 2 (43:56):
Why that means? When I think of legacy, I think
of family, I think of last name, and last name
means so much to me when I think of getting married,
I can't wait to serve my husband and his last name.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
You know how people say legacy is what drives me,
or I'm always thinking about the last name or a
hustle for my last name. I'm there, that's his last name.
How can we make him proud, his lineage, his legacy.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Okay, that's dope. I got another, say my do cord
book of the week, and I see you got three?
You got doctor's order. The problem has found the name
leading heart right?
Speaker 3 (44:46):
Uh huh?
Speaker 2 (44:47):
The problem has found the name is the one I'm
researching for. I have currently written doctors orders and beating heart.
Speaker 1 (44:54):
Okay, let's break down dotors order for.
Speaker 2 (44:57):
It's a guy for helping modern women reclaim they're feminine.
So how do I get back home to self?
Speaker 1 (45:04):
Okay? What is the truth you said? How do I
get home?
Speaker 2 (45:08):
That's the book I take. I guess how do I
get back home to self? My feminine self got me back?
What does that look like?
Speaker 1 (45:14):
Hey?
Speaker 2 (45:15):
For what I knew it to be back then?
Speaker 1 (45:16):
Okay, So could you break because you break the book?
Nown Like, if we just get the back of the book,
can you break it down for us?
Speaker 2 (45:21):
Wow? I wrote Doctor's Orders in twenty twenty, twenty twenty.
I published it in twenty twenty one. It's been a while,
but the bulk of it is healing, forgiveness, understanding what
femininity is, and you know, getting excited at the end.
(45:41):
You know there's something in there about masculine and male relationships,
getting excited about men because we do need men, we
need each other. So that's pretty much what Doctor's Orders
is about, all of the essentials for what I knew
femininity to be back then. I've evolved so much.
Speaker 1 (45:58):
And the other one is what the problems.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
Beating Heart is the one that I've already written. It's
not published I'm thinking about publishing on a publishing it
parting me on Amazon, so you if you want to
purchase it, you know, I'm reworking my site. It'll be
on the side eventually, but you can also reach out
to me at info at thefemdoc brand dot com. But
Beating Heart is a book that I wrote to tell
(46:23):
women all the fourteen heart battles I was dealing with
that kept me cut off from my femininity or were
affecting my feminine core. You know, it was beautiful to
me because God told me to really write, like tell
women all the things that were in your heart that
were keeping you cut off from true femininity like anger, unforgiveness, jealousy, envy, lust,
(46:49):
and you know, similar things, and what women need to
do to get those things out of their heart so
that they can live a truly aligned feminine life. So
that's what Beating Heart is about. And it's not necessarily
about like when your heart beats, it's like beating overcoming hearts.
These are heart battles, These are matters of the heart,
and you must do what it takes to get these
(47:11):
things out of your heart because they're keeping you stuck.
They're keeping you blocked. So that's what beating heart is,
beating the state of your own heart, not it's dope.
Speaker 1 (47:20):
Yeah, So I don't know what not because I always
say that once you close your heart, you can't receive
love or get love. Right.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
No, And if if you're not willing to deal with
what's in your hearts, I mean, at least take a
look at it, then good luck exactly.
Speaker 1 (47:34):
Yeah, let's speak about the retreats. Is womanly and wine Country.
Speaker 2 (47:40):
Yes, Womanly and Wine Country is coming up in May.
It's special because I've grown so much, Like I said
twenty one to twenty twenty, for those were challenging years,
but I need it to be soft and humbled and renewed.
So I of who I've become today, just more aware,
(48:04):
more informed, in better position to appreciate, connect and educate.
So Wine Country is going to be a transformative retreat
for sure. More womanly, oh my goodness, emotion like an
(48:26):
emotional experience, but in a good way. Women want to
get free. So coming to a beautiful place like Wine
Country is already an experience. But to know that you're
going to be in the company of somebody who understands
you because I am like you a mate from the
same stuff as you, and I've been through what you've
(48:47):
been through. That's special.
Speaker 1 (48:50):
How if somebody want to sign up? What would they
sign a bit?
Speaker 2 (48:53):
So you can click the link tree on any of
my social media and Womanly and Wine Country will come
right up.
Speaker 1 (49:01):
What do you want a woman to understand about the
value of feminine in rareity?
Speaker 2 (49:07):
There's nothing else like it?
Speaker 1 (49:09):
You know?
Speaker 2 (49:10):
God made woman because man could not be alone. He
could not. God never said that a woman could not
be alone. A man cannot reach his potential. I believe
his fullest potential without a woman. What does that say
about you? And what your uniqueness is and how special
(49:30):
your role is in all of this? Right, the love
we give, the way we soften, comfort, compassion, you know,
the compassion that we're capable of giving. You know, the
ease that we bring to things, you know, the lighter side,
the joy, the calm, you know, all of that. I'm like,
(49:52):
why would you ever want to be anything else? What
you have to offer is so unique, It's essential. Womanhood
is essential. Imagine world where there was just men. All
this aggression, all this anger, all this violence. And I'm
not saying that men are bad people. But when we
look at testosterone, which is a driving sex hormone in males,
that is what testosterone makes you like? Really yeah right?
(50:12):
So you know, men and the world they need that softer,
calm and smooth, loving perspective.
Speaker 1 (50:21):
But do women got to be solved?
Speaker 2 (50:22):
Yeah, of course they do. That's where I came in
and that's where my work comes in, and women understanding, Look,
you do not want to be that. I do not
want to be a man. I don't want to be you.
I don't want your innerness, I don't want your societal roles.
I just don't enjoy being a protector, a leader, a provider,
someone who is called to lay down his life, you know,
and that burden being on me. I don't enjoy that.
(50:43):
So helping women to understand that. Listen, what they have
is not better than what you have. Who they are
is not better than who you are. What they do
is not better than what God has put you here
to do.
Speaker 1 (50:54):
What about women who feel like they forced in that position?
Speaker 2 (50:56):
That's unfortunate? And why are you forced in that position?
I know the answer to that, but do you Let's
talk about it and how can we get you back home?
You should not be forced in a masculine position. I
understand it happens, I do.
Speaker 1 (51:10):
Okay, let's have a conversation about Okay, I'm gonna speak
for one like, Okay, I'm all I got, I'm all,
my kids got. What do I do? How can I
be feeline when all I can do? I got to
get up. I gotta go where I'm come on, I
gotta clean up. I gotta do all this shit.
Speaker 2 (51:22):
First of all, I'm so sorry that all of this
is on you. Why is all of this on you?
What decisions did you make for disc being.
Speaker 1 (51:29):
No, I'm my baby dad. I said, fuck this nigga,
fuck that nigga. And it's just me now.
Speaker 2 (51:33):
So what's going on with you two? Where you you're not?
You can't attract a healthy relationship with a healthy masculine man.
Everything starts with you.
Speaker 1 (51:42):
Most of the niggas just some bullshit.
Speaker 2 (51:44):
That's not you. That's you pointing the finger, the finger
away from you. What's going on with you?
Speaker 1 (51:50):
That's how you said, yeah, I think they'll get it.
You said like he said this a little soft. You think.
Speaker 2 (51:58):
That's the thing about it. That's why I love my work.
It's it's it's it's you're you're forced to reflect. If
you point the finger away from yourself, you will be
lonely for the rest of your life.
Speaker 1 (52:09):
What is going on with you?
Speaker 2 (52:11):
Why can't we transform the core? I've done it. What
do we need to do to get you healthy, happy,
and back home so that you can attract something that
is working for you. I don't believe all hope is
lost because a woman has kids. I've seen women with
kids get remarried and have some help because they healed themselves.
(52:32):
They became better people. So what's going on with you?
Speaker 1 (52:36):
So basically you saying to break it down before we
get out of you saying, basically, a healed woman is
gonna track whatever's for her.
Speaker 2 (52:43):
I believe that, So I do. I believe that I've
seen it. I believe that there was this argument. You know,
there was a past and influence, sir, but we all
know you know who believe that? You know? Oh, I
can't single women are a lost cause. I know that's
not true. I've seen single women fine love again with
(53:05):
healthy masculine men because they became healthy feminine women. But
it took a lot of self reflecting, healing and reclaiming
the truth about themselves.
Speaker 1 (53:19):
So you can't heal without accountability.
Speaker 2 (53:21):
No, it's everything. What did Bishop jay Z say? You
can't heal what you don't reveal. He's you know, that's
some points. And to even want to heal means what
you had to get honest with yourself like that, that
there's something wrong. That's accountability.
Speaker 1 (53:43):
I had to do the same thing once you let
that mirror is a cold place to look.
Speaker 2 (53:47):
At it is, but it's the best place it.
Speaker 1 (53:50):
Is to look. So all right, let's break it down here.
Your core, your life. Yes, I think that's for men too.
Speaker 2 (54:03):
Though that's for men too.
Speaker 1 (54:04):
Yeah, you hear your core, and you gotta I feel
like you can't give a fuck about when nobody else
think about you.
Speaker 2 (54:12):
No, but you as in the real.
Speaker 1 (54:16):
Version, the real version version, Yes, the made.
Speaker 2 (54:19):
Up version, not the toxic version, not the version that's
got all these negative things going on. Because what do
people say, take me for who I am?
Speaker 1 (54:27):
You?
Speaker 2 (54:28):
Your bad habits are not who you are. Those are
bad habits that you've developed over time for whatever reason.
We're talking about the healed, healthy, aligned version of you.
That's take me for who I am. Let's get clear
on that.
Speaker 1 (54:40):
Yeah, okay, you say so. So how important it is
to be around the right people to heal everything. They
had a right company everything.
Speaker 2 (54:49):
It is everything. Do you know? I know people today
who are stuck. These people in there are fifties and
sixties because everybody around them is like them, not willing
to challenge them, hold them accountable, or even hold the
mirror to their faces. Everybody's like you. Of course, they
(55:11):
don't see a problem with what you do and how
you are.
Speaker 1 (55:17):
Right. Yeah, you preaching? Yeah, you preaching. You should be
the feminine preacher, the femininity preachers. Nah, because I feel
like and it just me and I ain't just speaking
on women because I don't like to seem like whatever
you call them dudes who against women because I love women.
(55:39):
But I just feel like, as a person, until you
clear your heart, what'd you say, till you beat your heart?
Would you call it.
Speaker 2 (55:47):
You overcome your heart? Till you beat heart?
Speaker 1 (55:49):
Yeah, till you beat heart, you know what I'm saying.
Until you clean your gut, clean your mental space, you
really you really fake? If you not, if you if
you ain't cleaned yourself out, bro and looked at yourself
exactly who you is?
Speaker 2 (56:07):
You really faking and not and not and not all
faking is intentional.
Speaker 1 (56:13):
I know. Yeah, that's why I had to put it
out there so people can understand, Like, look at like
actually said, am I faking or am I being me?
Speaker 2 (56:22):
That's a good question, And I said, all faking is
not intentional because people tense up when you call them fake,
and it's like, I'm not saying that you're faking on purpose.
I'm just saying that this is not who you truly are.
This is a representative.
Speaker 1 (56:35):
What do you think create representatives paying trauma? Yeah, it's
like a wall.
Speaker 2 (56:42):
But at the root of at the root of fear
and so many other things I believe is unhealed trauma
or unhealed trouble, unaddressed things. So now to go and
be liked or accepted, I've got to go and pile
up some stuff that looks and feels better the bubbles.
Speaker 1 (57:10):
You says pod on trauma. This we now.
Speaker 2 (57:13):
I think people create representatives knowingly and unknowingly because they
haven't healed their inner child and they know sometimes they
know or they feel who they really what they're really
going through, and how that makes them show up in
the world, doesn't likable, so they create more likable versions
(57:36):
of themselves or representatives.
Speaker 1 (57:39):
Do you think I'd asked questions at night? When don't
ask one more? Do you think a healed person can
help you heal? Of course, you know what I'm saying.
Like in relationships, like if you met a guy that
was fucked up, No, for real, but you see the
potential to him. Do you think you can help him
(58:00):
understand what he's going through?
Speaker 2 (58:01):
Like?
Speaker 1 (58:01):
Help him?
Speaker 2 (58:02):
Do you can? I believe you can help unhealed person
understand what they're going through? Is that all you mean
by that? Helping them understand it?
Speaker 1 (58:11):
I'm saying, help them come out of it. But that
takes a lot of patience though right.
Speaker 2 (58:15):
It just depends on where they are, and they're in
their level of accountability, vulnerability and willingness.
Speaker 1 (58:22):
They gotta wanted.
Speaker 2 (58:23):
Of course, I can't help you if you don't even
think that there is an issue, or you're not willing
to do what it takes to get healed at all costs.
Another thing I talk about in my course is you
have to really be willing to do what it takes
to get healed. There is no other way. If you
don't want this, then what are we even doing. You're
(58:43):
just gonna You're gonna pull me back, You're gonna slow
me down.
Speaker 1 (58:48):
When it is all said and done. What you want
your legacy to read when you're when you're gone away
from this earth and they researching you what you wanted
to read.
Speaker 2 (58:58):
Happier, healthier women, men and children happy, you're healthier families.
I help rebuild the family.
Speaker 1 (59:09):
Nah, I appreciate you coming on, thank you for having me.
No anytime. It's an open door policy. So whenever you're
ready to come back, you just let me know.
Speaker 2 (59:17):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (59:17):
Let them know where to follow you in, where to
buy your book, where to come everything, what they need
to do.
Speaker 2 (59:22):
So I do have a sad part is I have
a site, but I hate it, so I refuse to
release it. I recently had someone rework it. But for now,
all of my social media sites there's a link tree
in the bio, so just go to the Femininity Doctor.
You can research search it them sorry he Facebook, Instagram,
mostly Facebook and Instagram, and click the link tree in
my bio. There are my courses books.
Speaker 1 (59:44):
Yeah, we have it the Femininity Doctor. Make sure y'all
go to the Big Fact Network, lights or strive, Come
at to the Big Fast Network to next.
Speaker 2 (59:52):
Time another epic episode of Perspectives with Big Bank.
Speaker 1 (59:57):
Follow on Instagram at Big Bank at L. Don't miss
the episode of Perspective with Bank. Perspective with Bank or
production of the Black Effect podcast Network and our executive
producers are Dollar Bishop, Chanel Collins and produced by Aaron A.
King Howard What Up Game. For more podcasts from iHeart Radio,
visit the iHeart Radio Apple Podcasts. Wherever you get your
(01:00:17):
favorite shows, make sure you follow a Big Bank ATL
Perspective with Bank with a K. Make sure you like subtribe,
comment to the Big Fat Network. Pay
Host
Big Bank
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