REMIX: The Hags Talk Restaurants

A compilation episode of the Hags talking restaurants. Cherries rolling on the hardwood, Alice Waters, Restorative Broth, Microgreens in a menu item, and dining alone. The anchor of the torq causing the spill. Black cloth napkins. Abandoning a brunch. Share plates. Table for four at Festoon? Going in together, raw. A bottle for the kitchen.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, I'm Kate ber Lance, I'm Jacqueline Novak, And this
is poog, an ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends,
two untamable intellects. This is our hobby, This is our hell.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
This is our naked desire for free products. This is poog.
Please enjoy.

Speaker 1 (00:16):
This week's Remix episode subject is restaurants, one of our
favorite subjects to discussed, to live inside, to savor, Please enjoy.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
When was the restaurant invited?

Speaker 1 (00:30):
I know we've got some socio sociological archaeological.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
Tap tap on the keys, you know where I go.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
I felt panic when I when I said that, when
you said should I look it up?

Speaker 2 (00:39):
Because I just wrold.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
Oh god, I don't know if I want to know
because I have this idea in my head that I
really like.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
But let's Oh my god, you're gonna love what I
just read. I have a feeling. I have a feeling.
Does it involve processus? I mean, I'm sure, but that's
not what I just read. Okay, is it? It started with?
Like innkeeping? There's two. I just have to say it
because there's two. You're going to die. Okay, I'm ready.
Let's just say it involved I can't even say it.
Let's just say it involved shaking with laughter. I've never

(01:06):
heard say it involved restorative broth.

Speaker 1 (01:12):
No, no, no, no.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
I'm shocked.

Speaker 1 (01:19):
See I thought it was going to be blood, sausage
and scrapple like here.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
Here we go, Halle Lowenthal. Shock here folks, seventeen sixty five. Okay, yes,
that's what I'm talking about, all right near the loover
No served served mostly restorative broth.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
No. Yes, So this is the first time that people
left the home. Now did they eat it there? That's
to me what a restaurant is, right, It's not just
I mean prepared what is a prepared food?

Speaker 2 (01:51):
It's about public intimacy, right, of course, It's about community
and that I need to that needs to perform public
intimacy and what could be more intimate and more private?
Give us, give us a little more? Is there a
little more? Can you give us? Because I trust me,
I'm searching. I'm searching according to by the way, bullshit Paris.
I mean this is obviously a highly European you know,

(02:13):
fantasy of of of history. Yeah, yeah, they're like it
was Paris, bitch.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
I mean, I've always pictured it. When would someone go
into a place and have like when like when did
personal services begin in that way?

Speaker 2 (02:29):
Right? Do you have blacksmiths? And uh, here we go eleven?
Ad China eleven? So that sounds a little more there
it is. That's the that's the real stuff. Yes, nineteen
seventy two in Italy. Yeah, exactly, exactly. The communal table. See,
that's incredible. What are your thoughts on a communal table?

(02:49):
I classically loathed to tests, of course.

Speaker 1 (02:53):
Okay, Traditionally speaking, it is absolute hell, and I'm tired
of them trying to pass it off as it's like
you're outside the louver.

Speaker 2 (03:02):
I had one magical communal dining experience. Here I go, folks.
It was Tokyo and here I go. Or was it Kyoto? No,
this was Tokyo. This was Tokyo the blind donkey check
it out. Fantastic known as the Shapanese of Japan. I
never heard of that either, Shapanese? Well is it in Paris?

(03:24):
Kate Berkeley, California, the invention of farm to table dining
The mistress of California Cuisine, Alice Waters.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
Okay, you and your la references your Brandy Melville for example.

Speaker 2 (03:37):
Oh, dare you Shapanese?

Speaker 1 (03:38):
By the way, your Brandy Melville did it bring her
down to size?

Speaker 2 (03:43):
Okay? Because farm to table cooking, my aunt at her
farm organic farm, supplies a lot of produce to Shapanese. Okay,
Actually we have to come back. It's too much of
a brag. But no, keep it. I like it. But
Shapanese is a essential and it was hard for me
to say, I don't know. It was hard for me
to say, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (04:02):
Stend.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
I'm sorry to shame you. Shape Aias is divine. When
the world comes back, we will go. It's in Berkeley.
Alice Waters is this famous chef. She's known as I
think kind of the you know, the farm's table dining.
You know, she would the worshiping the ingredients, the produce, worshiping,
truly worshiping Worships. Is this restaurant that's in a beautiful

(04:26):
craftsman home. There's the upstairs one, which is kind of
the more casual dining, and then there's the downstairs, which
is more formal dining. Okay, but they have and it's
like the open kitchen and you're watching the you know,
you're watching them saute the vegetables and the what have you,
And there's you know, bread and cherries cascading down the hardwood.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
Rolling down the hardwood like bowling balls without the bumpers,
just rolling across the floors, and they get stomped under
the under the naked feet of those who worship at
the altar of ingredients, smashing castle the Torontos.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
Why why I really knew this? Laughter? Because you're so funny.
I'm sweating. I finally take off my jacket. I've been
freezing all morning.

Speaker 1 (05:09):
I thought there was something funny going on behind me.
I didn't know what it happened.

Speaker 2 (05:15):
I have a note in my pad for you.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
Should we be noting microgreens in a menu item when
they're barely present?

Speaker 2 (05:21):
Okay, so funny? You mean a light dusting? Because this
has been happening to me.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
I ordered something literally, I would say a total of
you know, it's microgreens, and you're seeing a total of
twelve leaves micro leaves, Okay, resting atop something.

Speaker 2 (05:38):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (05:38):
I guess I was expecting something heading in the direction
of a little of a light salad.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
Yeah, and it's sixteen of them. Can a garnish be
a garnish? Should not be listed. Hey, So I have
two things to say. First of all, I've talked on
the pod before about my love of Houston's, and that's
I think the Hillstone Restaurant group, it's a chain went
last night. Unlivable flavors, unblievable service. I'm shocked you love Houston's.
Love it so much. It's absolutely delicious because I associate

(06:08):
with my childhood and my grandfather had the filet of soul,
was moaning, had the grilled artichokes, just and you know,
just pure heaven. So I was going to say, when
you get back to La, I want to take you
to the Beverly Girl, because I haven't been in so long,
and I think you and I would really have a
great time there, really, and yeah, it would just be fabulous.

(06:29):
But I was going to say, I remember what I
wanted to talk about, which was when I was texting
you flying high dining alone. So yes, I have to say, so,
I've dined alone several times in other cities, but I've
never had dinner alone in my in my own city.
I think this is true. I've never Yeah, I've never
gone out for dinner.

Speaker 1 (06:49):
Because you've been forced to in other cities, right, yeah,
as an national businesswoman.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
Yeah, absolutely, mm hmm. And I love that and I
love it.

Speaker 1 (06:59):
I had to free you because you were worried about
leaving community behind.

Speaker 2 (07:02):
Yeah, oh it's hell. I absolutely love it. In my
own town, I really don't do it. And the other
night I was.

Speaker 1 (07:09):
Gonna have infinite friend options. I guess you and all
your friends.

Speaker 2 (07:13):
Well, I guess if I'm eating out, I want to
go do it as a social endeavor. There's something that
feels just.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
Was I once read a book of business book called
never Eat Alone. It was basically like it was like,
you have two to three opportunities every day to network.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
Oh god, you eat alone lunch? To me, never, Well,
oh it's really good. I would know what I would
call that book you gotta eat right.

Speaker 1 (07:44):
Because it's like genius because that's what you say, and
I've said it to others.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
Well, I got to eat so yeah, I guess you could. Well,
I understand, But though, can you ever truly eat with another? Yes,
with a few people, I can, yes that some of
us right right? But okay, wait, So I the other
night got out of an engagement. I knew I had
to work. I was like, I gotta go home and write.

(08:10):
And I thought, and I was craving sushi and I
just picked something up and take it home. And I
thought that felt depressing to me, Like I don't want
to take it home, right, I was like, what if
I were to go out and actually eat it from
a restaurant. Yeah, like I just eat. I do that
plenty of It's just something. I was like, no, no,
I'm not sushi, you know. And I was really craving it.
So I'm going to take myself out. Oh, yes, this

(08:31):
is big. So I went to this place that's really
delicious called so Go, and I go in. I go
just one. I sit at the We talked actually about
the sushi bar and last week's pook thoughts. Please. Yeah,
this restaurant is just a bar. It's really beautiful, but
it's just a bar. I go in there. I take
my seap the only option. Yeah, but I go and

(08:54):
I take my seat. Instantly, I'm mood elevated. Suddenly I
am wolf over here. Okay, yes, it was like instant. Yeah,
it was instant. Okay. I made one final, final, final
fatal flaw.

Speaker 1 (09:10):
I got the prosthetic, which, okay, you know Virginia Wolf
had a prosthetic nose. Actually she had a very Nicole
Kimmen like notes. And then Virginia Wolf, the original one,
had had Nicole Kieman's nose, but wore a prosthetic.

Speaker 2 (09:26):
So that's why Cole Kimmen was cast. And then I
had to wear that. I was feeling so refined and
so beautiful, and then I took some of the soy
sauce to put into my little dish, and I over
accepted and spilled like it went pouring, like I couldn't
believe the rate at which the soy sauce poured out.
So it was a brief moment of humiliation that when
you're alone and something back.

Speaker 1 (09:43):
Listeners want to know, Yeah, did you pour? And it
was the speed of pouring that caused it to fill
and overflow, or was it the anchor of the torque okay,
that just sent it straight to the to the to
the table.

Speaker 2 (09:56):
No, it was the it was the first thing that
you said, I blame to know. I don't know, but
that's what happened. But do you get any pleasure out
of telling me the detail? Yes? Does it just feel
like a hell hellish detour? No? No, no, no, no, I
love that that's what happened. It wasn't terrible, but enough
poured over that I was like, oh oh, and then
but it was. But then I was fine. You know,

(10:17):
your greatest fears gonna happen and you're fine. So but
here's what I was going to say. That I was
sailing and I was texting you about how wonderful what
I texted my mother about how wonderful it was. And
then I was like, Kate, stop just be just a
alone be alone in the experience, right, I even texted.

Speaker 1 (10:34):
I ended up reaching out for community to talk about
being alone.

Speaker 2 (10:37):
I was reaching out and then I even texted. I
even texted my mom. I was like, and I'm not
just sitting here texting the whole time. No. Then I
turned the phone over, right, yeah, yeah, I had I
had to double back and you turned it over. You
didn't put in your bag? No, I sure didn't know
I had it not on the table. I think there's
a questing because your phones are literal just vessels of shit.

(10:58):
So I never hate whole put the phone on the table.
I think it's just like it's such bad manners because
it's rude to the table, is what you're s it's
rude to the whole. I just find it to be
like really bad manners of even booming people. And I
said to them, like, would you mind putting your phone away?
If I'm really close with them. It's just like, it's
so disgusting to wait. I find it really rude. But
you turned yours over? But no, but it wasn't on

(11:18):
the tables, on the seat. I had a seat next
to you, right, I put some things Okay, Anyway, The
point is that this is did you ever put your
foot up on a public bench? No? Yeah, because I
just want to feed up on the stuff is hard,
and you know I was traumatized ones even outdoors. It
depends if you you know your own shoe.

Speaker 1 (11:37):
I agree technically, but I've felt my foot do it
because you know your shoe is true? You shoes so
concrete though, If it's concrete, something changes for me.

Speaker 2 (11:46):
Can I tell you that I was once humiliated. I
was once humiliated by by a French waiter and it
changed my life. I was in Paris, I was like
nineteen years old. My friend twenty years old, nineteen twenty?
Your foot? Where the fuck was your foot? That I
listened to this. Listen to this. Oh my god, I can.
It's a visceral memory. I can feel the shame, and
by the way, I deserved it and changed my life forever.

(12:08):
We're outdoors at a cafe. We're outdoors at a cafe
and they're like, oh my god, I'm getting Honestly, it's
making me hot. Yeah, I'm nervous too, my stomach. This
is horrible. So I was sitting at a table with
the ratan, you know, classic courage. Though, I can confess this,
this is huge courage. I don't know how it happened.

(12:31):
I was nineteen. I was a fool. I lounged back
in my chair and put my feet up on the
other chair that was under the table. Okay, let's just
let's just let's just get the truth. So my feet
were talked under the table. So I was lounging back
and I had my feet up on the thing and
a huge question.

Speaker 1 (12:49):
Yeah, all right, tell the story and then we'll go
back and okay, dissect, because I there's a lot to hear.

Speaker 2 (12:54):
I had my feet up on the thing. He comes
over to take my order and he goes, oh my god,
oh my god, I remember it. He was clutching his
little pad on which to write my order, and he goes, yeah,
please in a French accent, like please, please, I can't

(13:16):
do it. No. It was like he was so ashamed
for me. He was so repulsed, as he should have been.
He could not believe what I was doing. And he
didn't even have to I know what he was talking about.
He knew it, and it was so and I think
I just, like, out of complete horror, like took my
feet down and was like, you know, I don't know
what happened, but it changed my life forever. Oh wait,

(13:37):
the whole word was please. He he just said please. Amazing, amazing,
Oh my god. Anyway in English, well, yeah, he knew
I was a disgusting American. How do you know you're
an American? How did he know you were a pig American?
How do you think honey? Yeah, I was eating finnel
O cake with my feet up right. He's never had

(14:00):
to say civo play hacking, Yeah exactly. Wasn't it terrible
to just eat something unsatisfying? Well?

Speaker 1 (14:23):
I famously have eaten half of a meal at a
at a restaurant left got in line. Well, one time
I was winning in line for Good Enough to Eat.
We used to go like once a week.

Speaker 2 (14:34):
What the hell is that? It was a Chris.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
And I used to go to this place good Enough
to Eat when we lived on the Upper West Side.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
Mm hm, I'm not familiar.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
It's a celebrated brunch establishment. People travel oh from far
distances to go, and they had the most delicious biscuits
with strawberry butter. Oh, it was so good and it
was well run and it was sensational, like I remember,
like it raining once and like the guy coming over

(15:04):
and like drawing off my friend's head.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
The napkin, which like, oh, just like utter ease. I
want to say something about because the napkin. About this
is when a restaurant has run so exquisitely. Is when
you're wearing something black and they bring you a black napkin,
so the white napkin doesn't, oh yeah, doesn't wearing I'll
never forget. I'll never forget. Try to remember where it
first was. I was wearing nice kind of formal black pants.

(15:32):
This guy comes over, he goes and he hands me
black cloth napkin, so it's not to destroy my look.
And now and by the way, recently this is actually
kind of obnoxious. I was at ultra parody so favorite
restaurant in New York City wearing fine black pants. They
gave me a white as.

Speaker 1 (15:49):
Well, and I briefly terrified that that wasn't clear. Okay,
go on, I.

Speaker 2 (15:52):
Requested a black. I was like, you don't have black
cloth napkins to you? And she very like kindly was
just like no. And I was like, wow, pretty bold task.
I'm blown away.

Speaker 1 (16:03):
Well also because I mean, who's the visual for at
that point? Your lap's under the table right.

Speaker 2 (16:09):
No, it's not about It's not about the visual interruption
of the pants. It's about the white napkin pilling. It's
about it creates fuzz so white, there's white fuzz on
the pants. Oh wow, okay, and then you get up
and you're fucked your hissos or farc all.

Speaker 1 (16:27):
First of all, can you believe I thought it was
about the disruption of the outfit.

Speaker 2 (16:30):
I can't believe that. It's incredible.

Speaker 1 (16:31):
And I was like, I was gonna be like, what
restaurants are you going to lap exposed? No, just where
they would worry about such a thing. Yeah, No, but yeah,
lap expost as well. Can you imagine eating with lap exposed.
Well that's what that's the hell of most lounge seating.
Oh yeah, well you're never you ever get offered the
lounge as though in your table. Oh yeah, exactly, and

(16:57):
as though it's a comparable offer. I mean, look, there
are times when, yes, I'm relieved to hear that the kitchen,
that it's the full dinner menu at the bar, that
there can be fun to be had, there can be
fun to be had. Well, you know, I hate a
bar stool classically. Yeah, any form like legs the bar
is never if and you know, it's the worst feeling

(17:19):
in the world if you go to scoot your bar
see closer to the bar, your body does it on
an instinct and then you remember that it's bolted to
the floor and you cannot get any closer.

Speaker 2 (17:29):
Oh yeah, So do you want to hear the rest
of the brunch? Yes? Please? So we would go.

Speaker 1 (17:34):
It was absolutely sensational. We would go, We would eat
a big meal there.

Speaker 2 (17:40):
And then go home and nap.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
It was like, you know, it was like an athletic
level of sort of brunch eating that required a nap after.
It was just incredible. And then one time it was
like the line was too long. We were so hungry,
and we were like, all right, let's just try that
fucking place next door.

Speaker 2 (17:56):
Who cares? How bad can it be? You know what
I mean?

Speaker 1 (17:58):
Yeah, went in ordered something. I'll have to report to
the listeners later exactly what was served. It was so
bad that I was like, we have to leave, okay, whatever,
we have to leave. This is like the worst thing
it's ever been seen on a plate. Okay, And I
am not hard to please, despite how it may sound. Yeah,
I'm really not. Actually that's another thing I want to
talk about. Remind me about the art choked Dip. But anyway, Okay,

(18:21):
left the restaurant after eating like four bites, got back
in line at the other place.

Speaker 2 (18:26):
Okay. I love that because similarly, I once had a
very extravagant John early and I this is right one
pandemic when it was like restaurants were starting to it
was like immediately post vaccine, like kind of this like utopia,
like are we are we free? And went out to
dinner at this place, had a full meal. Disappointing. Was shocked,

(18:47):
you know, I was like, it's not the same, something's wrong.
We still had full cocktails appetizers. I mean, we had
it all beyond devastating off because we were outdoors and
it was like okay, but but the food was off
and it was heart breaking so much so we went
to a different restaurant and sat down and started again,
and it was it was too much. It was really

(19:10):
extravage because the first meal was extravagant, and it was
like and I was like, let's go to the place.
And it was at that point, like nine thirty. I
was like, I think we'll be able to get a
table because it's nine thirty. Went and sat down. I
was like, you know, I forirvested off my maybe I
had two cocktails, you know, and I was like, we
were just at I'll redact the name for their privacy,
and I was like, we came here for a second
dinner because we were disappointed, and the way it just

(19:31):
kind of was like I heard they fell off, you know,
it was really yeah. And then immediately realized, like I
actually don't have the capacity to eat a second dinner.
Immediately we we had eaten the full meal, right, we
didn't go the full We ordered like a pasta in
a in like a meat course, and I could barely
touch it was.

Speaker 1 (19:48):
And shared the two No, sorry, but it was the
first restaurant if you had fully.

Speaker 2 (19:52):
Was fun and we had dessert. We already dessert as
well at the second place. But it's two dinners back
to back.

Speaker 1 (19:59):
It's it's a kind of extravagance and evidence of a
shared neurosies or you know, shared not neurosis, a share
for correction.

Speaker 2 (20:09):
No, the needs to correct that, they need to. Yeah,
it's really hard when a meal, when a meal goes poorly,
when you when you do that, it's just particularly if
you're you're going out, you put on a little outfit
and you know you're spending money. I mean, it's really painful.

Speaker 1 (20:29):
I struggle to dress for dinner because I don't want
to want to get I don't want to get anything
to get in the way of my enjoyment of the food,
you know what I mean. So comfort is primary. Have
you ever had this? This is the thing, the already
choke thing I'm gonna say before I forget, which is
went out with a group of people to a place
in New York that they were all very on board

(20:50):
with and even like they're like we're friends with a
chef or something. There was some connection there, right, so
I really felt that they were sold on this place.
We go out, we have a nice meal. One of
the things is like an art of choke dip. Okay,
it comes. Other people have a bite or two. I'm
like eating in the way I eat, which is there's
this this stuff then I need to put away into

(21:12):
my body right, Like it's it's like I eat at
the speed that I would pack a suitcase with the
items I need to pack it with.

Speaker 2 (21:17):
It's like back it in.

Speaker 1 (21:18):
Actually, I'll tell you something that happened to me earlier
this week relatedly. So anyway, I'm eating the art choked dip, right,
and at the end they're like just talking over overall
about the meal.

Speaker 2 (21:31):
They're like, yeah, the artichoke dip was disgusting.

Speaker 1 (21:34):
And I'm like I feel the shame of course, because
I was like happily shoveling it in like a fool,
like a dog, you know. And then like it was
almost like Ben Stiller, like why do you let me sleep?
It's like you all, like I just think if someone's
clearly enjoying it.

Speaker 2 (21:52):
You shouldn't disgusting. It's rude. It's so it's just it's
so rude. It's really rude. I actually had I went
a really nice dinner last night, really really fun, and
was really aware I thought of you because I had
the panic about sharing food and it was a thing
where it was a business dinner, so you know, I

(22:14):
was in paying right, which was exciting. And I there
was a reference about a steak free and we'll get
a steak free for the table, and I was like,
in my mind, I'm starting to spiral because you can't
get a steak free for the table, Like what does
that even mean? They met exactly as a side order
a bunch of stuff, we'll get a steak free. And
I had mentioned that I was really looking forward to
steak free and I was like privately spiraling, and I

(22:36):
was like, you can't split a steak free and so
and I even I went to a bowl. I said,
speak up and I said, I don't know if this
place is like a share place and the whole table
won't silent. There were four of us, that's an exaggeration,
but they looked at me and it was like really
And then so now restaurant's right, when did this start

(22:57):
happening fifteen years ago? Where they go we're sharing people
share What the hell are you talking about?

Speaker 1 (23:04):
You?

Speaker 2 (23:04):
What does that mean? People look at that baked into
like the philosophy dining at these restaurants that it's shareplates,
Like I understand that when it's like, okay, yes, really
going to like a Mediterranean restaurant exactly, you know, and it's.

Speaker 1 (23:15):
Like tapas, which also, let's get real, let's get real,
it's actually the implication that tapas is inherently like share
plates when literally tapas will often come with three you
heard me, three items of a given thing, Okay.

Speaker 2 (23:30):
Like three arranchina ris right.

Speaker 1 (23:33):
Kay, So first of all, you're screwed for two two people,
you're cutting a rice ball in half. But I believe, Yeah,
there was a period where sort of these you know,
the big, these sort of renowned Italian restaurants. It's like, no,
it's family style, of course, it's family style whatever, right,
So people got in the spirit of that, and then
these these hogs. Okay, I can't make a goddamn decision.

(23:57):
I just I mean, this is why I only eat
with certain people. Okay, Well, you know, I will say
here in Italy, I've been eating outside almost exclusively, and
it's been it's been ecstasy, and a big part of
it has become I will not tolerate indoor lighting.

Speaker 2 (24:13):
That's how I know in a restaurant anymore. These bright
nothing works from above fluorescence.

Speaker 1 (24:19):
I go, am, I in a freezer section of the supermarket.

Speaker 2 (24:22):
My restaurant that I plan to open in my mid
fifties will only be illuminated by lamps. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah,
there it is. Lamps, candles, lamps, candles, festoons, an occasional
FESTI fest light une of like a festoon. Festoon is
one of my favorite words. But a festoon is like
an a door. It's like, what do you call it?

(24:44):
It's like, no, okay, yes that's what I thought. No, no,
totally like a like a banner, but a festuent light,
like an illuminated festoon. Maybe the restaurant's called festu But
what about a chandelier. Well that's a great restaurant name.
What about a shandelier? Sorry, I'm yes, yes, but I'm
so on that I finally found.

Speaker 1 (25:03):
The perfect word, finally found the name festo.

Speaker 2 (25:07):
Yeah, festoon. Oh my god. Let me tell you a
little more. Why it's good table for four at fest
Good luck done, good luck I know it's done. Festoon.

Speaker 1 (25:19):
First of all, it has fet in it, as in celebration. Okay, fet,
this is huge, okay oon. What is oon in terms
of dinner? Because there is something oh, spoon, Okay, we've
got a spoon in there, a serving spoon inside of
the festoon.

Speaker 2 (25:34):
We've got fet. We've got festooned. I can, I can
already feel it. Well, we went to festoon. Once again.

Speaker 1 (25:41):
I'm worried for you that you've said it and it's
going to be instantly stolen.

Speaker 2 (25:44):
I know probably. Well guess what if it is. Everybody,
you'll be.

Speaker 1 (25:48):
Hearing from legal team because poog lawyers, because they are sharp,
they have.

Speaker 2 (25:56):
They are hungry, they are waiting. Yeah, they're our clothing okay,
and they and they are they are wait. It's it's
a stiletto heel.

Speaker 1 (26:11):
Heel.

Speaker 2 (26:11):
But then when they lift up the heel.

Speaker 1 (26:13):
On the bottom where normally you'd see the partner under
the that's where you see the cloven.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
You see see it's empty, you see the cloven foot.
If you notice this that Americans who spend time in
the UK or Europe say as well, a lot they go, well,
i'll do that as well, and they go very we'll
have water as well. I I see it.

Speaker 1 (26:36):
That's hard for me because for some unknown reason, I
tend to say as well.

Speaker 2 (26:40):
I say as well too, and I feel like it's me.
It's like a teenage attempt to sound traveled, as opposed
to saying too, also, yeah, I'll have that as well.
Oh and could we have God?

Speaker 1 (26:54):
Sorry, just let's play restaurant for one second, because just
you saying that, I want to. Okay, it's so fun.
Let's get excited. I know it made me really excited.

Speaker 2 (27:02):
Okay, how's this? How's this? Oh? Wait, here's it, here's
the cocktails are on their way.

Speaker 1 (27:06):
I just wanted to check in if you wanted to
put in an order for any appetizer while you're figuring
out what you want for the rest of your meal.

Speaker 2 (27:11):
Do you want me to put something into the kitchen? Oh?
My god, by the way that they almost never do that.
They by the way, they almost never do it. I know.
That's why I created it. They don't want you to
put in an app That's why I created it, because
it's a fantasy. Okay, yeah, go okay, Well, I wanted
to order shrimp cocktail? How many shrimper in the shrimp cocktail. No,

(27:32):
I wouldn't ask that. It's ridiculous in my mind. Six,
But I don't know. I was gonna say six. So
I was gonna say, could we do let's start with
a shrimp cocktail, and what looks we do?

Speaker 1 (27:42):
Well, I'm just I'm immediately heading to my classics, like
when I would go to Ultra Paradisio and it always
started with Aaroncini.

Speaker 2 (27:49):
Andi, Well, let's just get an air in order for er,
just so we don't pass away instantly.

Speaker 1 (27:56):
Yeah, yeah, god no, But to be able to relax
and study the men you but knowing something's on its way.

Speaker 2 (28:02):
I mean, I'm going to dinner with a friend on
Sunday and I've been looking at open looking at the
menu ahead of time because I had never been. I've
never been, And so if it feels because I'm such
a creature of habit and repetition and I want what
I want, I don't. It's much more rare for me
to go to a new restaurant. But I'm going to
a new restaurant, and then the thrill of examining the

(28:23):
menus days in advance. But then is there a loss
of joy in sitting down and seeing it for the
first time. I still don't know the answer. Where are
you with that? There might be Okay, here, here's what
it is. You ready for this? This is big?

Speaker 1 (28:34):
Yeah, So like it matters to me the question of
with a given friend, if we're lets in movies.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
No, no, no, I wasn't even gonna go there. Sorry,
let's let you speak, like, let's let's go to a
place we've both never been. Oh, yeah, that's fun. That's fine.
Let's go to a place we both love.

Speaker 1 (28:52):
Yeah. Those are kind of to me the ideals now
because and and and this is a control thing for you. Yeah, obviously,
like you're like, Okay, this place is amazing, We're going
to this place right, and you have ideas about what
you want and you're stuck on it. I sometimes hear
these things like I hear them in my head. You

(29:12):
just going Crispy Lacy Edges Crispy Lacy Edges about the
Commodore's Burger.

Speaker 2 (29:18):
I had that burger today. No, it's about burgers, which I.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
Astonishing that title that that's the name of the restaurant.
I know, And that's what good food is produced. It's incredible.
Boys being boys but anyway, so going to a restaurant
that you know in love already that I've never been to,
of course, there's one element of pleasure, which is you
love this place.

Speaker 2 (29:36):
You will have good recommendations about what to get. But
it's a.

Speaker 1 (29:40):
Completely different experience than us discovering a restaurant together. It's
like going in raw is really fun, going in together raw, exploring, assessing.
My heart is pounding right now, out of excitement, out
of imagining.

Speaker 2 (29:56):
Yeah, so I have taken to I feel like this
have happened.

Speaker 1 (30:00):
If let's say you're like, we have to go to
blah blah blah, Okay, I may peruse the menu in
advance in that scenario so that I am not just completely.

Speaker 2 (30:12):
Steamrolled into an order.

Speaker 1 (30:14):
So I'm trying to look at study the menu in
the moment that I'm not steamrolled going.

Speaker 2 (30:18):
You don't want that, Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (30:21):
So I've time to notice things that I might not
otherwise notice. You know, this is a different this is
a different level of you know, restaurants or church kind
of existence. But yeah, I don't always do it. I
do think it's if you've heard the restaurant's really.

Speaker 2 (30:34):
Good, Yeah, don't bother with looking online. I think so,
but it can be tempting fun though it's really fun.
But guess what it is a thief of joy. Because
last night I was looking at the menu for this
place there was no one to turn to my home.

Speaker 1 (30:53):
It felt like cheating a little bit. Okay, that's what
it is. It feels a little bit like cheating. And
even I, well, particularly here's another thing.

Speaker 2 (31:02):
You can't show up with ideas. You can't show up going.
I was thinking we could get this and that and
slip this. You can't do that.

Speaker 1 (31:08):
I would never do that to someone, right, But I
would also I would hate if you had studied the menu,
are new and then faked with me in person, okay,
Like that would be like my worst name Ory.

Speaker 2 (31:17):
You're like I am, so I value like knowing what's
going on in this way that you would feel like
you were a fool. That would be abandonment to me.

Speaker 1 (31:28):
For you to be like yeah, and I could see
your face if you were doing it, okay, and I
would like I'd be like, you looked at the menu,
didn't you, And I'd pull you out and wouldn't let
you do it to me, okay, because you know I'd
be like, no, I'd rather hear it. But I can
almost see you being like, I think the mozzarella with
the pea shoots.

Speaker 2 (31:41):
Yeah, I think I might fake it. I think you're right.
I could see myself faking it. We should take a
quick break. Yeah, okay, we'll go back. But here's the thing.

Speaker 1 (32:00):
If you are going to look at a menu in advance,
do it on the restaurants proper website or get out here.

Speaker 2 (32:06):
Oh ways, are you kidding me? You think I'm going
to yelp goog a little to google some photograph, some
blurry photo of a menu from nineteen oh two. Absolutely,
and I'm going to the proper website even if it's there. No,
I don't want to see it.

Speaker 1 (32:20):
Yeah, I just I'm like, we just want to live
in I want to talk about restaurants. I want to
talk a restaurant. I think about rescue too. I just
remember how how deeply I got burned. Because you know,
some restaurants make a reservation, they'll hold your card right,
and you have to do twenty four hour cancelation.

Speaker 2 (32:33):
I al see a reservation. It was forty eight hour cancelation.

Speaker 1 (32:36):
Which is oh they require forty eight completely obscene yeah,
New Yorker, La la, And that's what was weird.

Speaker 2 (32:45):
Oh no, I guess it's kind of almost to be assumed.
So so here's what it is. Forty eight hour or
they charge you twenty five ahead, it's for two people.
I let them know over twenty four hours in advance
that I wasn't going to be able to make it,
and they still charge me. And I was like, wait, really,
even I'm over twenty four hours. And this isn't like

(33:05):
a ticketed restaurant where it's a very limited seating. This
is a restaurant that's I'm just not convinced they're not
going to fill those seats, do you know what I mean?
This is a thing called Blue Hill situation? Is that
a fine restaurant in Los Angeles? In New York? And
I'm thinking about the farm, you know, you like go
to the farm, and I mean, I don't know, but.

Speaker 1 (33:25):
It's just any blue blah blah blah, like those names
all float together.

Speaker 2 (33:30):
I thought four d eight hours was a bit much.

Speaker 1 (33:32):
I think it is too also like a cancelation of
a dinner, like it either happens that day or I
don't know. It's weird like canceling dinner two days in advance.

Speaker 2 (33:44):
Someone gets sick, someone can't do it. Yeah, yeah, No.
I felt offended. And because I do take it really
seriously when I make a reservation, I don't just not
show up if I'm not going to go. I really
I have anxiety about that, Like I really let places know.
So it just felt like they were really injuring someone
they didn't that was on their side.

Speaker 1 (34:04):
You know.

Speaker 2 (34:05):
Well that's the thing.

Speaker 1 (34:05):
I mean, if we're all sloppy about it, maid fifty dollars,
I've done it.

Speaker 2 (34:11):
I'm trying to remember I did it in New York
twenty four hours and I was like, it is what
it is. Oh my god, I really want to go
to a restaurant with you. This so imagine. I'm just like,
I mean, sorry, my eyes are getting a little teary.

Speaker 1 (34:23):
I'm just remembering the bread and the ricotta and the
olive oil at Ultro.

Speaker 2 (34:29):
Okay, oh yeah, but.

Speaker 1 (34:31):
Just when warm fresh bread with those pockets of air
and you hold it up to your nose and there's
that sour dough.

Speaker 2 (34:41):
Smell, the fermentation them makes you more emotional. This is
a key question. What makes pos sorry? What makes you
more emotional exquisite olive oil or exquisite butter, and don't
answer because I have to think for myself. Okay, hold on,
let me think it's context. It's really hard exquisite. Let

(35:09):
me narrow it a little bit. Okay.

Speaker 1 (35:11):
So we're at the finest restaurant in the world. Okay,
we know nothing other than every single thing they do
is the best. Okay, so we don't have to worry
about Yeah, you know it's quality. So you know that
back there they have either they offer one two things.
They offered their butter liter olive oil you don't get
to know, and bread paired with bread of.

Speaker 2 (35:32):
Course, of course, of course. Okay. I just had anxiety
about when they have crisp, when they have flatbread instead
of real bread. If you go to a restaurant and
they only have flatbread, if they only offer a cracker
without bread.

Speaker 1 (35:44):
Oh sorry, when you said flatbread, I was picturing more
like red crisp.

Speaker 2 (35:48):
I meant like a crisp like a cracker. By the way,
a high quality cracker will make you drop your knees
and moan like for sure, I love a good cracker. Sorry,
but continue, I want to talk about this. I just
was thinking about how upsetting it would be if they
only had crackers.

Speaker 1 (35:59):
Now I want to live in this live so you know,
you know they have the finest olive oil. You know
they have the finest like butter. You don't know in
what way, but you know it is absolutely the best
in the world. And you get one or the other
served with your bread, and you don't get to come
back to the restaurant.

Speaker 2 (36:14):
You're hold on butter. It's actually it surprised me. My answer,
surprised me? Is it butter? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (36:24):
Me too, And it surprised me too in a way. No,
only once, we I think, but I think I know why.
I think it's because for some reason I don't actually know,
I don't actually have much experience with like what's an
incredible butter versus like what's making this butter so good?

Speaker 2 (36:39):
Is it just pure quality? Is it like, oh it's
herbl No, I don't want it RBD. I meant, just
like the I don't know what is it. I would
actually be upset if they were herbed because I'd be like,
what are you hiding? What are you hiding? Well, yeah,
I mean it's just.

Speaker 1 (36:58):
Butter not enough, It's butter not enough if you want
a nerd, you know, sprinkle at the top. I mean
now I'm just back to the Christini again. Thick slab
of cold butter.

Speaker 2 (37:10):
What was it?

Speaker 1 (37:11):
Parsley, anchovy parsley, A lot of that parsley, lot of parsley,
crunch crunch.

Speaker 2 (37:17):
Crunchy, crunchy, crunchy. So you've probably heard of this hot
spot Italian restaurant here in Hollywood called Mother Wolf that
opened Evan Funque of Felix on the West Side.

Speaker 1 (37:28):
Opened up, laughing at the I love the name, of course,
very Clorissa pin Cola st So.

Speaker 2 (37:33):
It's called mother Wolf. I keep forgetting and calling it
hunger Wolf. It's called mother Wolf. And it's like this, you.

Speaker 1 (37:40):
Know, huge you cutting out the mother. I know, and
I got a fear of the divine. Feminine strikes again.

Speaker 2 (37:48):
I don't dumb struck, Okay, you go, I've never seen
you dumb struck. Okay. But the point is, it's like
it's like I've only been I've been, you know, exactly twice,
but it's like very much this thing of like whoa.
It's such a scene. You know, you go there and
there's like four thousand celebrities or whatever you're going to
dinner with, where's my invite? I would more love to

(38:10):
go with you. Well, so here's the thing. So when
I went, I was there and found myself in a
situation where I was, you know, the least famous person
at the table. And no, but the manager came by,
the only one.

Speaker 1 (38:26):
It wasn't just trying to feed their family, folks, Can
you leave us alone?

Speaker 2 (38:29):
The card came down. He was like ha ha ha ha,
and he takes his business cards the manager and kind
of puts on the table. I snatched a manager. Oh,
I'm like a Hollywood manager. No, no, no, the manager of
the fucking restaurant comes over.

Speaker 1 (38:42):
The manager of the restaurant put his own credit card
down to pay for the mail.

Speaker 2 (38:45):
Business card. Okay, i'vegured it out before, and so I
you know, sticky fingers grab it. I'm like, I'm the
one who needs this, So I take. I feel like
I leave him like I got a baby. I got
the guy's business card. I'm gonna email directly for because
the whole thing is that it's impossible to get in.
It's impossible to get in, right. So then my friend

(39:05):
wanted to go and I was like, actually, I have
the guy's business card, so my plan was to email him,
but then my friend got a reservation. The point is
I was at the restaurant. I saw, I clocked the manager.
Now I'm searching his face for recognition when he's looking
at me like, oh, yeah, I know she's been here.
Of course nothing blank face called icy stare not icy,
but just complete and that he's devastating, and so I

(39:26):
kept being like and I was like, I gotta make
I gotta make the connection tonight. I got to make
the connection tonight.

Speaker 1 (39:30):
And you know you and you know that you can
term at all costs, okay, so like no one's business.
I mean, you know you could do it and probably
under eight seconds. Just go like like it's it's it's
an energy that you bring. You know you can you
can be different.

Speaker 2 (39:43):
Well, I'm as again, lived in restaurants. So I'm like,
I gotta get in here. So I'm sauntered church for me, sir,
and you were my priest. Yeah, exactly. The sacrament you're out.
The sacrament is the reservation. And so I as we're leaving,
I kind of touch his arm and I go hi,

(40:03):
and he says hi, and I say you know, I
was here a few weeks ago and you gave me
your business card, but I lost it, and so I
see his face looking at me. He's like, okay, so
I'm imagining him like I don't know who the hell
this bitch is, but I gave him a card. So like,
does she own you know, exon mobile? Like what's going on? Yeah?
So he the pro that he is, well, take up,

(40:24):
take let's get your phone out. Take my number. He
proceeds to put in his what I could only assume
is his direct cell phone. His fingers.

Speaker 1 (40:34):
His fingers are tramping across, your tramping across.

Speaker 2 (40:37):
We have a little joke. We have a little moment here, right,
and I leave going I'm fucking in. You're in. I
love when you're in, So I have a question to you.
I was like almost attempted to text him the next day,
like what a great meal. I was like, okay, don't
do that, you know, leave him alone. So I just
think the next time I want to make a reservation
and get in there, I just text him. But's so

(40:57):
fucking bold. Just be careful. That's really intense, right, we
want to play that card, right, all right, Let's let
me let me. Let me write bay to stem for
a second. So here I think of it, by the way,
flooded with the motion right now, dying to go with
you continue The food is really is just undeniable.

Speaker 1 (41:11):
It's just facted by like like you finished speaking, and
so you're immediately into planning, like I lock in the meal.

Speaker 2 (41:16):
I want to lock it in. So a couple of
things one and I could be wrong.

Speaker 1 (41:21):
I could be wrong. There's two ways to play this. Well,
there's infinite ways, okay, but there's a couple. This is
the first binary I'm coming across.

Speaker 2 (41:27):
One.

Speaker 1 (41:28):
Do you make sure that that the restaurant's booked, okay,
that there are no res is available?

Speaker 2 (41:33):
Okay, I don't mean to laugh, but it's never it's
always fully booked. The only way to get yeah.

Speaker 1 (41:40):
Well, I mean technically there has to be some way, right.
Is it three months in advance?

Speaker 2 (41:44):
What is it?

Speaker 1 (41:44):
Right?

Speaker 2 (41:44):
No, it's that it's that they take reservations only seven
days in advance, but they have to stay up till
midnight to make them. It's like a whole thing.

Speaker 1 (41:51):
I wonder if they have because you know, on I
think I forget which you want to uh Rezi, I
had that thing in the notification where I had the
note of vacations, the waitless whatever.

Speaker 2 (42:01):
Yeah, they have that. They have that get it you fly,
you fly to your feet, and I once got one
for this place. Yeah. They were like ron and then
it was gone, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:10):
It's scarcity, god, you know. And and and I'll take
it even if it's fake, you know what I mean.
Just yeah, just let me live, let me believe. I'm
believe I'm getting something rare. So if it's always booked,
I still just okay, fine, let's assume it's booked.

Speaker 2 (42:27):
Great, do you go straight to him? Sure? Okay, here's
a question. What note has he put in his phone? Hey?

Speaker 1 (42:35):
Oh oh no, I mean like, how did he note you?
I didn't text him back he gave you his number
or he texted you.

Speaker 2 (42:43):
I forgot he texted me from he texted himself from
my phone and was like hey, yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:49):
So he then did have to arguably input some kind
of contact, so you know, you know, no, no.

Speaker 2 (42:54):
No, he didn't. I never texted him. Oh wait, I'm stupid,
help me, help me, help me, help me. No he did.
He texted him himself. He did. See. This is what
the technology laps for me always happens. That's what I
forgot the Google drive was available. Okay, I like, I know, ime,
so up strt Oh my god, keep going.

Speaker 1 (43:10):
No, I know you ran home to collect your files
like a couple of stones in a bag.

Speaker 2 (43:14):
I ran home to I ran home to collect files
last night like an eighties businesswoman. Forgetting that the files
are in the internet, your floppies. I don't need to
go home to my physical computer to get the files.
It happened to me as today. Okay, keep rooting through
a desk.

Speaker 1 (43:29):
Yeah, the scene that unfolded and you getting it again,
getting the number again.

Speaker 2 (43:35):
I think that moment is seared in the hip book campus.
Is you'd doubible in the hippocampus?

Speaker 1 (43:39):
Yeah okay, lodged in the amigdala Okay, okay, because he
experienced panic and then really, okay, he experienced a panic?

Speaker 2 (43:46):
Is this woman I'm supposed to know you're a fucking genius?
So that scene is locked in? Now?

Speaker 1 (43:51):
Oh god, Now, I think you just need one one
kind of solidifying event. And I'm not sure it is
the text for the for the reck. I think it
might this time you go into the restaurant. Yeah, okay,
and this time he's ready to clock in.

Speaker 2 (44:05):
And this time I know his name. Sweetheart. You talk
about indelible in the hippocampus, and if he experienced his
panic and doesn't, okay, oh yeah, then I'm really I mean.

Speaker 1 (44:15):
When you when you text, when he texted you from
your phone, what did he write?

Speaker 2 (44:19):
Like I'm protecting his identity? He said, hey, it's name,
and then yeah to himself, this makes sense. He did
he take your phone? He took my phone.

Speaker 1 (44:32):
He trumped his fingers across he texted. He texted himself, right, so.

Speaker 2 (44:36):
I would think he would write, hey, it's Kate ber Land.
No he didn't. It was my job to text back.
Oh no, it was my job text back, wasn't it
text back?

Speaker 1 (44:47):
No? It went to him. What doesn't make sense? Okay,
so here's what you have.

Speaker 2 (44:53):
He hate this. Here's what I so in.

Speaker 1 (44:56):
Your phone right now, there's hey, Johnny Cakes, right, it's
me Johnny Cakes.

Speaker 2 (45:03):
And then that's it.

Speaker 1 (45:06):
So what you do now, yeah, is you just say
either right now you go realize they never gave you
my name, caper Lant, Okay, pasta emoji and you're out.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
Huge question. Huge question. A potential reservation is on the
books in the next two weeks. No, this would be weird,
this would be crazy. This is a bad idea. I
was going to say, once I have I have my ideas,
I have the reservation solidified, and I text, Hey, it's
caper lent, come into the restaurant tonight, hope to see you.
That's crazy'sz I agree.

Speaker 1 (45:41):
I think that sounds like like you're interested romantically or something.
I I think I think you solidify with your greatest
skill charm in person.

Speaker 2 (45:51):
Got it done? Oh oh my god, Oh my god,
my god, my god. I just had a huge idea.
And then this is crazy. But I never gave you
the number. We never gave you my name. That's perfect, Okay,
want to hear this, which is so a friend of mine,
a friend of mine put this in my mind as
something you can do. And holy shit, if there's a restaurant,

(46:12):
I wouldn't do this here because this place is so
like it would be so kind of embarrassing. It would
actually instantly mark me like a peasant, right, because it's like,
don't people gore?

Speaker 1 (46:21):
Sometimes you want to separate yourself as the only salt
of the earth, person who truly gets the restaurant.

Speaker 2 (46:27):
Okay, so let's hear exactly classic totally okay, So here
so here's so here's a possibility. Oh my god, oh
my god, it's making me laugh. I can feel myself
that I think I might do it. Oh no, no, okay.
So also, the last time, the last time I was there,
I saw the chef. Okay, wait, wait wait, I've been

(46:48):
fun same restaurant, right, yeah, same restaurant. You go, chef,
you go around the back or through the glass window. Okay,
so I saw him. Hey listen, here's what I'm considering doing.
So a friend of mine put this in my mind,
and who she worships restaurants. Okay, listen, what if I
took you take a bottle of really exciting Holy yeah,

(47:10):
I never even heard of this. Okay, So I think
I could get a really nice bottle of casis, a
nice bitter something special, and you bring it, you go
a better special, it's special, and you go. So imagine
this ago. I just love the food here so much.
I think it's such a great addition to the Los
Angeles culinary landscape. And I brought this for the kitchen.

(47:37):
I'm not fucking kidding you to their knees. They did
you happen to hear my silence? I'm in awe. I'm
in awe. Wait, hold on, damn, I'm actually sweating, I am,

(47:58):
because it's like it's exactly as you said, it's the realization.

Speaker 1 (48:01):
Okay, it's like, what's your realization? You know, an idea
that has reached his time? You know they say that
you can't stop an idea that like an idea when
it's it's not the phrase, but that that sentiment, like
when an idea is finally of time, like it can't
be stopped.

Speaker 2 (48:16):
Right, I'm sweating.

Speaker 1 (48:17):
I'm sweating, and like the tears are like sort of
prickling at the back of my eyeball because I'm like, fuck,
I don't know if I can be able to resist
not doing that, Like I think it's happening.

Speaker 2 (48:28):
I know it's on and I can't turn back. Yeah,
that's what you can do. So it's so outrageous, right,
this idea of me. How do you fucking pull it off?
How do you pull it off without being another douche?
How do you pull it off without it being like
because because if I were the chef and I approach
you with that, I would think, oh, this is like
her alcohol company or you know what I mean, like

(48:48):
like this is like her. She's trying.

Speaker 3 (48:51):
She's like, here, I brought you this, and it's like
hashtag this in a restaurant, in a gorgeous bottle, and
then you see the corner of a of a neon
green posted sticking out and you know, there it is.

Speaker 2 (49:02):
There's the ask exactly, add this to the wine, add
this to the wine program. So I would have to go,
like I am merely a fan. I don't think.

Speaker 1 (49:11):
I think if there's no if there's nothing attached, yeah,
like truly nothing, not even your name. I don't think
they assume it's wine company. Okay, it's just those people, don't.

Speaker 2 (49:21):
They don't. They don't pre sale, they don't just give
it and then say nothing. So I don't think that's
the concern. Okay. I think the concern is what's what's
she after? Okay?

Speaker 1 (49:29):
I almost think the concern is now. But here's the
big question. This is exactly the question.

Speaker 2 (49:35):
You know, I do it all, you know what, I
would do it all for a free round? Can you imagine?
Of course, I do it all for being able to sing,
to take my mother there to be able to go.
You know what, I'm gonna take my mama out to
a special dinner. Yeah, and I guess where I can
actually get the fuck.

Speaker 1 (49:48):
In, don't get I just glancing at discuss. I'm pooed
to see if there's anything I want to say. Really.

Speaker 2 (49:53):
Yeah, by the way, I'm now I'm like, I actually
feel like I'm I want to be strong enough to
take the bottle.

Speaker 1 (50:00):
Oh wait, this is why. Okay, my fear isn't your fear.
Your fear is they're going to think you're a wine
rep or whatever.

Speaker 2 (50:06):
Right, my fear, my fear is just like, what's my fear?
I think? Other way? What does she want? It's like,
you know what I want? I want an app? I
want a free app, and I want.

Speaker 1 (50:14):
And what's funny is that that's all you want is
a very minimal kind of ask. You want to feel special.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
I just want to be able to get a reservation.
That's really all I want. But keep going you and
I want I want community. Oh wow, you realized it's
the local. By the way, because I put in the
work right before COVID. You want to be a regular?
You want to be a known regular? Yes, I love
being a non regular like that. I have a tip

(50:41):
for I have a tip for restaurants.

Speaker 1 (50:43):
If you see me searching for a gaze of recognition,
why not just throw me one back.

Speaker 2 (50:50):
Yeah, even if you don't remember, well, guess what begging
for it? This is to me, this is how you
run a restaurant. And this place fucking closed during COVID,
but a place near my parents' house, because that was
like a new restaurant opened up like walking distance of
my of my parents.

Speaker 1 (51:04):
So anytime a business shutters, I pray it's going to
turn into a restaurant. Looking, is there a liquor license
sign coming in the window?

Speaker 2 (51:10):
Right? No?

Speaker 1 (51:10):
No?

Speaker 2 (51:11):
And this was this was this was wonderful because it
was a food was completely solid. They had gorgeous full bar.
They had a devastatingly reasonable happy hour. You could get
like a you get like a beautiful NEGRONI for seven dollars,
you know what I mean. Like, I'm talking about a
real fun happy hour. Solid food, really solid.

Speaker 1 (51:32):
Using solid food, and I'm like that alone, just solid
evoked pleasure.

Speaker 2 (51:37):
So so when they first opened, my parents went maybe
twice in like a week or ten days, and the
manager comes over and goes, hey, folks, I recognize you,
and my parents go, well, you know, we actually live
two blocks away and we're always excited about He gives
them a gift card on the spot. What he throws

(52:00):
down and guys, this wasn't twenty bucks. I think it
was an one hundred dollars gift card. He goes, so
happy to have to be in the neighborhood. So glad
you've come back. My parents, of course, were like, we
love the food, please keep coming back. Here's one hundred
fucking dollars. So you know what they just did. I'm
just made by.

Speaker 1 (52:22):
By Jess CFL baby c f L. By the way,
I'm crying too.

Speaker 2 (52:27):
And it doesn't go okay, CFL. I'm gonna start saying that, okay,
and then I'm gonna I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go
this on. This is that they're gonna remember me.

Speaker 1 (52:37):
I'm gonna do that thing where I'm gonna create panic
or or you know, confusion, to lodge in the in
the okay, Okay, to stir the amiguala.

Speaker 2 (52:45):
Okay, So I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go, CFL. I
have one thing to say, Oh no, this genius already.

Speaker 1 (52:49):
I'm gonna go up to the manager on the way out,
okay or whoever, Okay, and I'm gonna I just want
to say, cflain. I'm gonna say it's stern and sort
of neutral, so they don't know if this is something
fucked up. Yeah, okay, I have one thing to say
after dining here, cfl Okay, and they're gonna go, They're
gonna panic.

Speaker 2 (53:06):
They're gonna think, is that some kind.

Speaker 1 (53:07):
Of food service that yeah, you know, like I'm gonna
call the the you know, the authorities on I'm sending
cfl in here tomorrow Tuesday, okay, okay.

Speaker 2 (53:18):
And then should I create the panic the fear?

Speaker 1 (53:20):
And then and then I start to walk away, I
turn around and I say customer for life, Oh my god. Okay,
So then they're lifted to the heavens. They'll never okay,
bring them down and bring them up, lift it to euphoria,
and then you're indelibly lodged.

Speaker 2 (53:38):
Yeah. Yeah, no, you're You're right to create the panic
and then you sue it. By the way. Another okay,
I've another thing to say about this place that fucking
shuddered post covid or shuttered in COVID. Devastating. Shuddered is
the best word, and I only reserve the term shuttered
for businesses that I really feel something for. Okay, they

(53:58):
shuddered devastating. You know what they also did for them?
This is fucking customer relations. Folks. By the front door,
they had a bell jar whatever you call. It's not
a bell jar. It's a cook It's like a The
cake goes in the jar of beautiful chocol hip cookies
with mauldn sall on top, and they go on their way.
If you want to cookie, grab one, which, by the way,
is a little weird about that. Wait, was there tongue?

(54:21):
Not to be a bit? It was your hand. It
was hands wild. As I said it, I go, that's
actually somehow How is that it's like one of the
great joys of childhood? Well it just because of the dirtiness.

Speaker 1 (54:34):
One of the great joys of childhood was there was
this Mexican restaurant that we would go to on Friday nights. Okay,
that's a family and by the way, there we stopped going.

Speaker 2 (54:42):
Your family did it because job? Thank you? Just given
that every Friday night Mexican I could start crying. I
mean I know, I craved routine so hard as a kid. Okay,
keep going.

Speaker 1 (54:54):
So however, we stopped when my dad recognized that, particularly
the older kid, because I was just a child.

Speaker 2 (55:01):
Okay, okay, but the.

Speaker 1 (55:02):
Two teens weren't appreciating it anymore, okay, when they were
like dropping their head down on the table and going
to sleep during the meal, and shit, yeah he took
it away, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (55:12):
It was like it's over, it's done. Okay.

Speaker 1 (55:15):
Yeah, and you know that famously, I was the one,
like two and a half year old who could dine
in the fine establishments because I was so well behaved,
because I was so excited about.

Speaker 2 (55:26):
The good food. But I could be I could be
brought in.

Speaker 1 (55:29):
There was one place that like I was the only
baby that was allowed in because my respect for the
chef was undeniable.

Speaker 2 (55:36):
I'm clear. But wait wait wait, wait, wait, take me back, wait,
because I know that they did that. Oh yeah, so
every Friday night.

Speaker 1 (55:46):
Wait, but every Friday night, and then on the way
out of the Mexican restaurant, you know those they're wrapped up,
which is not but just a mixture of like of
mints at the door.

Speaker 2 (55:57):
Let's let's talk about it. Remember mints at the door,
the Dream of the nineties.

Speaker 1 (56:01):
The candy pre nine eleven, pre nine eleven, pre nine
to eleven. You know, grab a grab a min grab
a door. I was sucking candy. It just it was
a different time. Stuff in your pockets full matches, toothpicks. Yeah,
I mean, I like, go, look, get excited for it
for a nice match box. Oh yeah, I have a collection,

(56:22):
for Christ's sake. Let's say you're at a restaurant. You know,
You're like, you're have your you know, I want the
chicken pop pie, right, and then they come over and
they go, we're out of chicken pop pie, and you're devastated, right,
But then you go, you know, I'm actually excited to
get the salmon, you know, and then like so and
being like being like, I'm actually really looking forward to it.

Speaker 2 (56:38):
No, no, no, this is actually exactly what should have happened.
And it was the mushrooms the whole time. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (56:43):
Yes, And this is it's never been revealed on Poog
And I'm gonna try to say it once in one
sentence instead of the seventy sentences that got cut from
a previous episode. Right, I'm gonna try it. I want
to say the mushroom thing I'm gonna try. I'm gonna
try that was cut? Yes, are you sure?

Speaker 2 (56:58):
Positive?

Speaker 1 (56:59):
Here? I am?

Speaker 2 (57:00):
It was the mushrooms the whole time, assuming the listener
knows the deep listener will know what I'm referring to.

Speaker 1 (57:04):
No, right, right, No, No, it was cut because I
internalized that it was cut as oh that was cut.

Speaker 2 (57:08):
Interesting. I thought that was so like important. But yes,
I did take nine minutes to say, this is very
and I will say, just to preface, this is feels
very because this is such a true This is to
me as evidence of you really knowing my deep psychology,
like of how I feel so seen by you.

Speaker 1 (57:23):
And one of the great things about you is that
you enjoy being seen, even called out, so to speak, Yeah,
I'm called that's too like culturally loaded, but like.

Speaker 2 (57:33):
If someone is observing you or knows you well enough
to actually be able to maybe gently criticizes almost too
strong a word, but is able to kind of point
out your own pathology to yourself.

Speaker 1 (57:44):
Yes, divine, divine, and you light up, so it's really
fun it. But the mushrooms the whole time thing, which
you know could be a T shirt is simply I
observed Kate's psychology, including my own, sitting at a restaurant
deciding what to order, and we were deciding whether to
get some kind of mushroom, a mushroom moose as an appetizer,

(58:04):
or there was a side of roasted melange of different mushrooms.
We were deciding, going back and forth, and Kate was
having a lot of anxiety, I mean just and the
thing is we're in it together because menu anxiety, making
the right choice all of that is huge for me
as well. So we're really going into it like life
depends on it. And I got to a point where

(58:24):
I was able to say that I really think it's
the roasted mushrooms and we can get them as an
appetizer even though they're a side. Genius, by the way,
recommend to all listeners, a side can be an appetizer.

Speaker 2 (58:35):
It's huge.

Speaker 1 (58:36):
Okay, So like so like roasted mushrooms sound great, so yeah,
so so so I was like, I was a Kate,
it's the mushrooms. Okay.

Speaker 2 (58:44):
Oh no, it was like this is more what it is.

Speaker 1 (58:46):
I'm still cause I'm not doing that thing yet. I go,
I think we should get the mushrooms. I think the
roasted mushrooms are gonna be infinitely more satisfying. Whatever, And Kate,
this is the key of her psychology, goes, You're right,
it was the mushrooms the whole time, okay, And it
was a mushrooms whole time, like like like. And what
it revealed was Kate's desire for something to have to

(59:10):
be absolutely certain and so certain that it was inevitable. Right,
it was the mushrooms the whole time. Fate led us
to it being the mushrooms, and that puts her at ease.
It's huge, it's so psychology.

Speaker 2 (59:25):
It's just so essential for me, not far from mine, right,
it's like part of my psychology. So I can recognize
it in you, a desire for certainty. And as you said, Fate,
this desire inevitability. Yeah, this absolute truth that my own behavior,
my own nothing could interrupt it, nothing could get me
away from that. It was always going to be the mushrooms,
and I can render it forever. But and that certainty

(59:48):
is like so much of something I chase in something
I'm having to let go right as I strive to
be an adult.

Speaker 1 (59:53):
But wow, but it's also it's Also, I think there's
something very joyous and it's almost a hyperbole. You know,
maybe this is one of the lovely facets of the
hyperbole that you and I so enjoy and that.

Speaker 2 (01:00:06):
Trump almost took from us. I don't want to talk
about Trump, but anyway, it was like we start now,
we start talking about Trump, right, do the entire Trump ump?
What what if Pug was like what if Pug was
like Cheeto man, like Cheato man over here he sleep

(01:00:28):
with his daughter?

Speaker 1 (01:00:29):
Oh my god, who doesn't? What if Poog became like
just hell? What if Pug was us being like twenty
twenty was a dumpster fire? I know, I know, So
where were we because it was deeply exciting. Oh the mushrooms, right,
you're a certainty and then I'm trying anythwhere else and
so oh oh hyperbole. So it's like it's like one
of the joys of hyper that is a version of hyperbole.

(01:00:51):
To me, that's joyful is to just choose to believe
that it was the mushrooms the whole time, Like, isn't
it more fun?

Speaker 2 (01:00:56):
And we love doing that?

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
Right? Like I feel like even like when we would
go to like you imbued Russian Samovar or whatever, Samovar
in New York City on what like fifty seventh and
eighth or something, and like, and you imbued that with
a kind of meaning, okay, and you get into this
thing where it's got to be sam of Art. It's
got to be Samovar. We got to go to Samovart, okay,
And then it sort of takes on this meaning that's
another level and it's like it's like it's.

Speaker 2 (01:01:17):
Faded to be that restaurant. It's faded. Yes, I just
should we talk about restaurants a little bit for fun?
It's no, because I'll start weeping. Because it's the only
purpose of life is to be in restaurants. That was Pooh.
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