June 27, 2023 • 44 mins
You’re not a fraud if your pathology briefly lifts. Kate has found a pretty good deodorant and Jacqueline replies to a friend’s Bader inquiry. Eye contact with an advertisement. A particular makeup wipe is affirmed. The airport lounge doesn’t allow takeout. Kate is headed to Rome. Toxicity levels in the back of the plane. Night malls. The heaven poem, revisited.
Edited & mixed by Allie Graham.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, I'm Kate Berlan, I'm Jacqueline Novaka.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
And this is poog, an ongoing conversation about wellness between
two obsessive.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Friends, two untamable intellects. This is our hobby, this is
our hell, This.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Is our naked desire for free products. This is poog.
Today's topics Looslie speaking, just inconsolable poetry in motion.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Ding Dong, Darling ding dong.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
So I have no trouble saying I have no trouble
coming to the eavesdroppers with full vulnerability and say I
was hysterically sobbing on FaceTime video with you, Jacqueline, an
hour ago, mere minutes ago, and look at me now,
be honest, how'd you feel about that?
Speaker 1 (00:48):
But the sobbing, Yeah, I loved it.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
I'm in the middle of waiting the phone might ring,
and here I'm sold the Bowery and I talked to
the manager. I said, I had a personal meltdown this morning.
Can I please have an extra hour? You're hysterical, you know.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Well, it's funny because like I was trying to say,
like you can, I'll say, I'm recording my podcast right now,
in which I'm promoting the hotel I know, I know.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
It's another that's another.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
We're going a little over because I just can't operate
the good the bed sheets are and telling.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
That it's really interesting.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
We continue to be humbled in this life by emotions
the way, but it's it's nice to know that even
an hour ago I was inconsolable and now you're alive.
I could imagine getting lunch, right.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
I have this memory. I used to doubt or worry
that because if there was a moment where depression I
wouldn't even say lifted okay, but sort of shifted that
like if there was a moment in the day where
I didn't think, I was like, you know, I was
almost like do I need to call the doctor and
be like I'm a fraud?
Speaker 1 (01:55):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Like, yeah, like I'm not depressed. And I feel like
it was always almost like you like, because.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
I'd have.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
And then the television Jill comes back from commercial. I'm like,
whip my head and I'm watching it.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Yeah, it's like.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
The baby, you know, the baby mine the attention, which
is something where I've utilized the ad D to slip
out of. I've given myself the permission to not stay
on task with the suffering. Should it alleviate? Yeah, it's like, no,
(02:36):
roll with it, don't worry, She'll be.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Back, totally, totally. Yeah, dear God, I loved it. Obviously.
I love to be there for you.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
It really helps to call a friend because I was
sitting here and I was like, I'm not going to
put this on anyone, you know, and then I thought
I need help.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
I thought I actually need help. I don't find that remotely.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
No, I know you could take it. It's interesting to
note what one can take or not. So it's just
such a thrilled there's a cat out there who I know,
you know, a neighbor cat who's just relaxing in the grass.
And to see a cat and repose, just to let
one's eyes fall upon it, it's.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Relaxing, you know.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Freud, I think said what I can't remember. They always
feel like it's a true he was obsessed with. Time
spent with a cat is never wasted there. It is
actually helped me during the depression years. I was like, well,
this is just years spent in the presence of cats.
So yeah, wait, take me back.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Well, first of all, sing go my armpits are burning
because I am. I found a deuterant that really works,
but it gives me a rash, but I don't care.
So it's it was advertised me on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Ow it's called see you are I E. It's like
a spray.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
It's like kind of natural, I think, or it's like
not fully like natural, but you know, it's like pretty good.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
So I bought it.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
It arrived, I sprayed in the morning, boom went on
a you know, I was traveling all day airplane whatever,
end of the day. Get home fresh as a rose,
as they say, or I guess it's a daisy. Yeah,
and I've been using it. It's been hot here in
New York and running aun all day. I'm great, you know,
but it does produce a red rash kind of not
(04:25):
in the center of the pit, but like they can't
at all around. Yeah, and I'm kind of like all right,
and it goes away. It's like red for maybe twenty
minutes and then it's gone. Right Now, I'm having some
burning though.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
The vagine having some burning my tops off in this league?
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Good?
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Sure could you were pixelated as hell? They're just tits
ever heard of them?
Speaker 2 (04:46):
I'm not gaping but anyway, but wait, yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
So the red rash. Do you have the product with you? Yeah,
I want to know the ingredients. By the way, last
night in Whole Foods, I scoffed, I scoffed. I picked up,
you know, an energy drink of some kind, and you
know what does it say? No scary ingredients. Okay, this
whole thing, this whole marketing ploy that we've like nothing nothing.
(05:13):
I mean, these are the wellness cliches of the last
ten years ago.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Nothing Grandma wouldn't put in her.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
I wish that's almost like a ninety there's a big one.
If you can't pronounce it, why would you? And it's like, well,
I also can't pronounce like one of the main amino
acids that runs my body, So how fuck you that argument?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
I can't pronounce cities in Rome and I trying to
say most of the neighborhoods, and I'm still going tonight.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Can you believe that tonight? Where you staying? I said, like,
I know, I've spent a week there, literally are you literally? Okay? Great? Yeah,
well I locked it down for you now. At least that.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
I had to ask Matteo Lane, who was my guide
for Oh wow, I wish I go to Rome or Paris,
comedian Mateolan.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
And then he said, Rome cool.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
I almost think I should play it, but it's marvelous,
it'll really get you pumped him him explaining sure, Okay,
my god. So it was just you know, I mean,
talk about certainty, you talk about mushrooms whole time. I'm
in Scotland going I'm going to go somewhere.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
We're going to go somewhere.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
We're in international waters here, let's go somewhere, And and
it was like, do we go to I've never been
to Paris, I've never been to Rome.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Little Jacquelin Novak had only been to Russia.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Yeah, it's so funny, Okay, scrolling through and I'm going
just all of a sudden, you know, I haven't texted
him in a year whatever, And then just I just
you know how I like to do it.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
I don't like saying hello, who needs it? Hell?
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Yeah, if Chris and I were to pop off to Italy,
parenthes has never been, say Rome open to where I
write and enjoy good food? Literally, is there a neighborhood
slash area? Also open to other cities?
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Truly?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Just typing Rome into Airbnb, also consider entering Paris.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Okay, yeah, save this.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
Message click and then I'll send you after I just
woke up so I can't type. You're going to go
to Rome. You're gonna stay in the neighborhood. A great
hotel is called g Rough, which sounds like a gay bar.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
I've heard about that place.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
You want to stay sort of near Piazza di Neva,
And I think you should go to Rome. It's just
I mean, it's the most incredible city. There's no You
have to go to Rome, and I'll give you a
list of places to go for gelato, for pasta. I
can hook you up with other Italian comedians who speak English.
(07:43):
If you want to get dinner with them, you need
to go to Rome.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
And then the Lynx are you starving? So then it's
a series of links.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
I think it's good in Rome.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
Are just ticket attack the Romans. The Italians have created
the best art in the world. When it comes down
to hotel designs, they'll just put a chair in the
middle of the room.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Be like, look.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Great, Jacqueline, can you believe me? I was able to.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
I couldn't even enjoy the comedy this morning because I
was so swept up.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Sometimes you have to wait till later. Well, no, because
I was here. I am waking up.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Imagine this, waking up in the in the Bowery hotel,
you know, slept through the night, right, waking up, going
to Rome that night.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
So you are going tonight. This is clear, this is
happening tonight. Tonight. My god, Oh my god, I.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Got Rome going tonight and I'm hysterically sobbing, hyper red.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Lady, you know, and arguably just about nothing. I mean,
you know what I'm saying, right, No, I should say nothing.
This is you know, but yeah, everything's no.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
I mean it's just life is hard and endlessly painful
and round around me.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
Eotion, emotional, but nothing social indignity of you know. There
it is. I've said it. Emotion the essential indignity of
being a human. It's unacceptable.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
I hate it having emotions, having relationships is should be illegal.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
So I just got a text from my dear friend
Liz Pong, and I'm going, should I try baiter?
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Oh my god? Yeah, what do you say to that?
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Isn't that?
Speaker 1 (09:18):
I know?
Speaker 3 (09:18):
I knew, I knew you'd be interested. So she just goes,
do you use slash love? Augustinus Beata, I'm contemplating trying it,
and I wrote, people love it. My mother included, I
always think when actives are buried in a cream, it's
sort of a waste. God, you're good, so I almost
suggest using the serum and then applying any thick cream
(09:39):
on top to hold it in.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Damn.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
The question is what are your goals? Okay?
Speaker 3 (09:45):
This is what I start to say when people bring
up like ask like a skincare question, because it's like
and then I realized, like genius, Oh yeah, this is
why that is, like that is the language of transactional
like beauty commerce, because it's like it's not like let
me see your face and I'll figure out what what
what's fucked away effects?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
You know what I mean? It's like, what are your goals?
Speaker 3 (10:06):
She wrote, I don't know, look younger, try harder, and
I can give you a regimen for the overall. And
then she's like, I have a good rich cream that
I like, so maybe I'll try the better serum. And
then I said, I'm about to record poog, but I
was just gonna say, let's get you. If you're not
using any serums right now, I wouldn't start with batter
(10:29):
because like then you're going to have the results of
using us serum and you're going to be like I
need this for life, and it's like three hundred dollars.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
So it's like, I feel like we should get you
on more affordable.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
Serum first, that like could have huge benefits and see
how that does you mm hmm. So it was really
sweet actually because I got to see my friend, my
dear friend Liz Pong meet you after the special. That
was really cool to me and she, you know, it
was just it was God, that was a good feeling.
I mean, that is the wedding feeling.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Right, that is gathered. It's really nice.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
And then I have these moments sometimes in those scenarios
where it feels like the afterlife, like yeah, like this
sort of the people. I don't know, it's so weird.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
It's interesting.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
God, that poem on the subway. I know, I reference
it like once every sixty two episodes, But.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Like which one the chicken one?
Speaker 3 (11:19):
No, I know you love the roast chicken and red
wine one. You know, they are the only ones. You
and me are the only ones. Like it's not true,
we're obviously not the only ones. But I enjoy thinking
I'm just looking it up heaven poem poetry in motion
right like you and me deeply taken with the poetry
(11:41):
in motion? Yeah, oh here it is.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Are you ready? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (11:44):
I mean to be in the subway. I mean, because
here's what I'll say. It's like, you're down there and
you're reading. I mean, I mean, I'm reading everything that
are you not reading every fucking adam?
Speaker 2 (11:54):
But I had a kind of weird existential crisis, or
I don't know if it's existential, but I was standing
in a crowded subway train car looking at an advertisement,
and the eye contact with the people in the advertisement,
oh moved with you really threw me.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
They were looking at me.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
They were at this level where somehow I was like,
they're really seeing Yeah, it was it was an image again,
it was just a photo, but they were looking at
me in this way that almost caused me to turn
my head like stop, Like it was so invasive, and
I felt that they were really seeing me. And then
I moved down. I moved down. Guess what, Still they're
(12:35):
still looking at me, And then that is what convines.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
So they're looking at me here and when I'm over there.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
How okay, I'll tell you oh, I think this is
my understanding, and it certainly doesn't happen all the time,
but there is something about I think if they are
somehow managed a dead center into that lens, the true center. Okay,
if you think about those those cones, those triangles of
the way, like go into a triangle and then reflects,
(13:02):
it's like then wherever you are, if you're looking at
the image, I don't know, it's like it's not.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
But here's what I will say. Eye contact. Okay, I
know I've brought it up before. What the fuck is
happening there? Because do you not experience eye contact?
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (13:24):
For one as like, first of all, you know, the
second you've got it, that's weird of that, the second
you've landed on eye contact, it's like you're locking into
a force field, like your eyes have landed on the track.
You can feel them settle into the track of the
eye contact, you fucking know, right, Yeah, and it it
feels like something's actually happening. But all that's happening is
(13:46):
one set of eyeballs is perceiving another set of eyeballs. Yeah, okay,
what and then sending signals back to both brains.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
That's weird.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Like if you looked into a telescope or not a telescope,
just a binoculars. Right, there's a lens. There's a glass lens. Yeah, okay,
this is huge.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Are you ready?
Speaker 3 (14:04):
This is what you're looking at it? And you think
there's me. Then there's this tube a piece of glass.
It's magnifying. And then there's the thing. Right, nothing's between you.
There's a clear window between you, is my point. Okay,
the eyeball is not a clear window to the brain.
You are not behind a glass window seeing things. Oh god,
(14:28):
it's closed, bitch, it's closed. It just happens to be
a computer that happens to be sitting on the front.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Of your face.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Yeah, it's not open.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
It's not open space, right right right, And you think
like your irises are like are like a cloudy stained
glass that you're seeing through or something?
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (14:46):
No, I mean and then and then all senses being
processed through the brain is where where you just go.
So'm I'm seeing nothing, I'm feeling nothing. I am absolutely
And then you go, well, consciousness it's primary well Jesus, yeah,
all right, sorry, but yeah, it's not a window. Fuck
(15:06):
I think that's huge. Yeah, and window to the soul.
While a metaphorical sort of literary concept. I think people
are walking around. I don't know, maybe maybe or not.
Don't you think of your eyes as me? Doesn't it
feel like they're a clear thing though that you're like, don't.
Don't they feel like a window. There's you inside and
there's you out and those are two windows.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Got it? It's okay.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
If it's almost making me anxious, it's freaking me out. No,
it's fine.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
It's just the idea that where am i?
Speaker 2 (15:33):
We talk about this? Where am I in the body?
Where are we in the body?
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Of course?
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Because guess what? Try to find yourself in the thoughts.
Let's just say in the synapses? Who is experiencing?
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Help me?
Speaker 1 (15:42):
I better not be in the thoughts?
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Yeah, Like you could point to a thought sparking in
the brain.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Where's the thinker? Oh? No?
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Like if you looked at a machine with a bunch
of synaps in a computer, and then you look at
a brain with a bunch of synapses, who makes that happen?
One of them them, one of them is being experienced,
like the human brain. There's someone experiencing those computers there's
no thinker. So it's like damn, you know, the horror
of like or the wonder of.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Sorry.
Speaker 3 (16:18):
I just became self conscious because my cousin like they'll
say this thing like they're like, you know, it's real,
it's so weird. They're like they're like they apologize for
like these kinds of thoughts and then they'll be like, sorry,
this is really like n Yu freshman, like like late
night at a party, being like, are you seeing the
same thing I'm seeing? But these are the questions. These
are the questions. I know, I know these are the questions.
(16:39):
It's true. Yeah, So all to say, what serum am
I going to recommend to Liz? I think it's a
fermented serum in the realm of the classic latter but
duped time revolution Misha essence. I think that's where it begins.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
So I have like a day here in New York.
I'm gonna be running some errands.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
You're essentially taking out what a fucking red eye? What
are you taking?
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Kind of close to it, which I'm usually anti, but
so I'm gonna put on my Ilia skin serum to
walk around all day SBF whatever. Getting on the plane,
you don't want to do an eight hour flight in pigment.
You know it's coming, right, So do get to the airport,
Do I nutrigena, you know, makeup? Wife off the makeup,
and then put on Yeah, that is what I do.
(17:40):
And then I put on a moisturizer for the plane.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
The way you just affirmed the nutrigena wipe casually is
gonna be huge for people as they passed through cvs.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Oh well, guess what. The blue original Nutrigina makeup remover
white works is the one, and I've tried others and
that's the one I returned to.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
Okay, Sorry, I got excited about that. So here's what
I see it as I see it as I mean,
unless you're real sicko, a real Charlotte Tilbury, Okay, why
the fuck do you need pigment? Do you need coverage,
et cetera on a flight? Again, exactly, I never want
makeup on a flight. So it's it's about cocooning the skin.
(18:19):
Like to me, it is moisture. Yeah, it's an intense
it is clean the skin.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
The answer is that's what I did.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
And then layer on hydration, okay, and then washing my
face in the sink. Oh no, No, I'm not suggesting I'm.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Going to wash my face here.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
That's exactly what you're gonna do. Okay, tell me how
I think you should wash your face. This is just
the yeah wash your face is about, and the public
sink bough. Okay, I would almost this is like my
I don't even know how to explain why this is like.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
To me.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
It's about washing the face and hydrating it now with
with a mist, with an essence, with a watery serum,
so you get those going. I would almost be missing
your wome way to the airport. Okayget I'm going tonight. Oh,
I see you're leaving the hotel now and you're free
floating in the New York City air until night.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Yeah, I have to take off the day.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Well, if you want to go pro, you wash it
in the airport. You go in the bathroom, you wash
it in the air.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
No, I'm gonna I'm gonna change out of my jeans
here back at the hotel in the bathroom, and I'll
wash my face. I'll go into my track pants, I'll
wash my face, and I'll board the flight. It's gonna
be brutal. John and I are flying together. Back of
the plane. Yeah, there's no way around it. It's not
gonna be pretty. It'll be fine. The back of the
(19:37):
plane thing, Like, first of all, it's a dream when
you're getting on. It's like just sailing to the back.
I don't know, it's kind of nice. Is it a dream?
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Getting on? Sailing to the back.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
Okay, I'm trying to figure out why. I think it's
because if you're flying with status.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
You're boarding a little bit earlier.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Like if you're flying like I am when I fly
Delta Sky Priority, Okay, getting on a little early, a
lot of those bastards are not in the back. Okay,
so maybe that's why it's empty.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Bot Okay, Yeah, here's a crucial question.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Yeah, here's a crucial question.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
I could be potentially in a situation where I would
get an upgrade, but I will not be abandon John.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Well, what time is this flight?
Speaker 2 (20:18):
And that's friendship ten thirty pm? You believe that, So
this is a sleeper potentially. I was thinking, how long
is a flight?
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Like seven hours? It's eight hours. It's a sleeper. Well, see,
because I was actually arriving the next morning.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
As everyone knows, I don't do pills, but I do
was thinking about popping half a Klana pin.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
I mean, you guys are going to try to sleep? No,
because yeah, that would be the answer. Then you'd wake
up eight hours.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Eight hours, forty minutes you land at Romans one pm exactly.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
So I got news for you. You get the thing you're going.
You're going to be trying to sleep.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
I mean, you get the thing you go. You had
right the fuck up to first.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
If I get an upgrade, it's not gonna happen. You
mean you wouldn't do it abandon John. It's not abandoning
John about you. You're both gonna be sleeping, okay, but
you being more pleasant company for the whole fucking trip
as a result of a night's sleep.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
I means, have you discussed it with John?
Speaker 2 (21:11):
No? But I already don't think it's I'm gonna get
the upgrade, and I already don't think.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
But we're talking about philosophically if you do. Yeah, It's
why I also want to answer the question, what do
you do if it were a day flight? It would
be a different matter. Very true, if you're both truly
planning on sleeping, which I think you are. I just
think I guess it depends if you know whether you
can you're cable of sleeping on a flight.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Well, this is what so, this is what's hard for me,
and this is why I do think I should fucking
pop a klwan because I don't sleep well on planes
at all.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
So you could get an upgrade because you have a
status cracked.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Well, I'm trying to even.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
I mean, ask John this, would you rather hang out
with me tomorrow after I've gotten a night's sleep? John,
I know that's that's what you say. I know, I
mean than one of you is stronger, you know, up
to up to the task in the morning getting your
ass out of fuman gino or whatever.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yeah, I think that's the airport.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
I just had a moderate anxiety here, which is that
I'm looking here. It's asking me to check in. I
booked the flight with my old passport, so now my
new passport is a different number, and I fucked no.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
I think you just have to update it in your
information right. Well, here's what's really interesting.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Won't let me information or not? A gate agent with
a you might have to do it.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
There these people with their with their gate agents.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Oh joh, I would you booked it with your old passport?
Was your passport expired at the time you booked it? No,
but it was I think you're fine, Yeah, you're whole.
I'm looking at it right now, a passport in the hand.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
I had to expedite. This thing wasn't cheap.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
You know what I've been thinking about m and Chris
was sort of like really, like, you're going to go there,
but the food is so goddamn delicious And these lounges okay, yeah, exceptional.
I like I had like the same meal three like
like there were stops.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
What'd you mean?
Speaker 3 (23:09):
So there was a day where I like was in
like three lounges I think it was two, okay, and
it was the same you know menu, and it was
maybe have I spoken about the smoked salmon like creamy
like salad and then the olive top of nod that
was plentiful. If there was a small jar of all
(23:30):
of top it was like a massive like for days,
like it was goddamn pickled onions, I believe. I mean
it was insane and I was like, I'm about to
go out there and reckon with you know, the absolute
hell of the snack box. The hey want to pay
twelve dollars for a you know, the snackbox. I'm like,
(23:52):
there's gonna be no food in the same there's a
delicious meal here. I was like, do I get travel
food containers and pack it up, load up my meal
in the lounge and then I can bring it on
the plane. I mean a gorgeous salad. I've made gorgeous salads,
proteins of all kinds.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Great, But what I've noticed they don't even have a
travel cup lid in there for the coffee, so they
are just scouraging take away.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Oh shit, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
I was like, is there a cop Like, I'm like,
just grab some coffee in here.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
Like.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Oh, by the way, I remember I was in a lounge.
This was peak COVID and I wanted a bottle of
water in the lounge and they said, we have water
in a glass, right, And I thought, well, not only
is that filthy a COVID nightmare, right, but exactly they're
discouraging and grabbing a bottle of water and hitting the road.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Yeah, I mean rude. Yeah, I sort of pulled it
off once.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
I forget what the situation was, but it's just the
food's really fucking good there.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
I can't believe have you ever had like an exciting
food experience in a lounge?
Speaker 1 (25:05):
I mean what lounges? Are you in Delta and barely
in the lounge? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (25:09):
I mean, didn't you realize I can hardly talk about. Yes,
I was fucking silver and I didn't know.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
I know, I think, yeah, I'm gold or something else.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
It makes me like whatever it was, But you know
I was silver, Jacqueline. I didn't know that I could
get free upgrades. I wasn't adding myself to the upgrade list.
Are you hearing this? Are you hearing this? No one
taught me how to live. You should see EMA's face.
I was scrounging. I was down there in the gutter
with silver medallion status.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
I was like a scam artist of the Delta.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Emma managed to like like make two K or something
straight up by like saying like I'll get on the
next flight and then like it happened.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Kay, apparently doing that? You believe that.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
No, But sometimes I'll arrive and I'm not hungry, and
I'm just sitting there in front of this plenty, going
so do I eat it? Just because it's free and
it's here, And it's delicious. Like, no, I'm not hungry,
you know, it's.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
I'm gonna eat, you know what, I'm realizing lait flight
like that, I'm gonna have a big old dinner. And
then you get on the plane you go to sleep.
Oh you treat that like night right hard to resist
light food. Yeah, but don't eat on the flight. So
I'm saying, just go to bed. You mean, don't let
them wake you for food. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
I feel like they kind of don't wake you for
food when it's like the night flight. No. God, it's
so weird to be like put to bed when they
like put you to bed, like the lights go out
in the plane and it's like a bunch of adults.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
It's like nap time. It's like it's very weird.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
To sleep big. I'm on the aisle.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
To think there's someone between John and I is really hard.
There is, I believe what?
Speaker 3 (26:41):
Yeah, So then Kate, I got you off, you go
to first if you get the upgrade.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Okay, I'm looking at wait, I'm not gonna not even
next to each other, but we are, but there's Kate,
let me look.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
For someone between us. You're not next to each other,
do you know? What it means to be seated next
to someone.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Okay, i'll tell you this. I'm middle Actually, good news,
good news. We're a two seater. I forgot.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
Well there it is, Chris and I refer to that
as our own private first class. Okay, because you can
do anything, right, I mean, you're free if you're in
a tour.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
I'm almost positive because I booked this.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Oh my god, I think I got audio.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
I was on a flight where I was somehow sandwiched
inside of a child's soccer team.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Oh my god, oh my god.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
And it was during the two.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Seater I love you, We're free for you last okay.
Were they all screaming their heads off the whole time?
Speaker 3 (27:33):
Screaming their heads off and coughing like like a fountain,
you know, like a like a stone fountain of a
little boy spitting. Yeah, it was like that, but like
it was like, let's see how far and wide my
cough can go, like you know, these like thing like
like like children there like that.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
They're like, yeah, yeah, they love it, Yeah, yeah totally.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
Yeah, yeah they're proud. I don't know, I don't even
know what it is, but.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Oh my god, I'm so really you a John and
I aren't in a tour. Now everything is fine. I
can finally finally relax and we're actually in the middle,
not the back. We're in the back of the plane
on the way back from Rome, and that's gonna be
brutal because we have a four hour layover at the
Paris airport.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Okay, so therefore, wait, that's not why it's gonna be brutal.
It just makes sense. This is really gonna say. Here's
the thing about the back of the plane. It's like
this for feeling like it's like like it's bad. But
then it's like, why, Okay, it's a perception issue because
here's the thing. It's only bad if you think when
you land and you hear like that whatever, the sound
of being like the door is open and people are
starting to the plane, the feeling like you should be
(28:38):
getting off the plane right then then it's.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
That's not what the back is for me. The back
for me is that I remember once like reading in
the eighties that it's like all the like exhausts, like
the most toxic part of the plane is the back
of the plane.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
It doesn't make any sense, right, It's it's an interesting
tube of filtered air.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Yeah, hepa, is that a small little extra gassy back there,
like gasoline?
Speaker 3 (28:58):
You know what I mean, it's a little extra like
I don't I've not, I've not noticed that. I think
that maybe that was true in the seventies.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
Okay, yeah, maybe that's actually seventies smoking when people were smoking.
Were people still smoking on planes in the nineties, I
don't think so.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
I think the like eighties. I mean, I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
So. I have a memory of flying Southwest as a child,
repeatedly with my mother, and I remember hearing I think
I've said this on pook. It's not a fabrication. I
remember the flight attendant saying, ladies, if you wouldn't mind
wiping your lipstick off your glass, your plastic glass before
you give them back.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
Two people were plastic glasses that, yeah, that were given back.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
I remember, And I'm in a real shock. Is this
like Nelson Mandela effect or whatever?
Speaker 1 (29:44):
The fuck? Yeah? I remember them saying, wipe your lipstick off.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Looking it up now, that makes sense to me, the
wipe your lipstick off. Really, but there's no glassware on
a on a regular plane, That's what I'm do you understand?
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Wait in first class.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
It's track.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
Uh, unless you were flying first where maybe they give
you stuff in.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
This was not first This was plastic, right, That's why
I'm confused. I know.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
I thought it would just go straight in the landfill
right in. If you have the.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Memory, ladies, if you wouldn't mind.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
Wiping, ladies, you was mind wiping off your Lipersick, here's
your basket of kisses.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
I know, bad man. Oh yeah, of course I realized
she had it. She had it.
Speaker 3 (30:22):
She's a copywriter. Oh imagine just being in that smoke
filled plane.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
I know.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
God though, imagine the like the delight just taking out
of smoke and lighting it up where they ash I
can't picture. Oh no, right, those were those little ash trays.
Oh yeah, there were little ashes.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
I had those.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
That's how you know.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
That's remember that the planes we still had the ash trays. Yeah,
we had the ash trays and they were like gumming there. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
Yeah, that was the whole thing. These kids today, they
don't know.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
I have a question, urba mate, urba mate, Do you
have a question about your ba mate?
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Yeah? I mean, isn't that supposed to be better than coffee?
Speaker 3 (31:18):
Better than coffee? Not convinced well, yeah, but like a
cleaner high. I'm sure have you seen this thing advertised?
It's like to pair with your amphetamine salts. By the way,
By the way, have you ever been have you ever
prescribed that? It's like it's the generic avadderall or the
generic of Brittlan or.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Something like that.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
You get em fetamine salts like that.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
Like they handle this thing that's amazing, And it's like
they're staring at your like is this like nineteen twelve?
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Like you just wave these under your nose. It's how
they wake.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Up corpses that is familiar, so they get the last
What do you do a day.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Tip for the housekeeper? Bucks a day in a hotel?
Speaker 3 (32:01):
Interesting, I hadn't heard the per day kind of concept
as a way.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
To I don't have them come into my room every day.
So well, every time they come in, you tip them,
you know what I mean? Or kind of end of
the trip here you go, right, I mean the end
of the trip, on the end of the bed, the
end of the trip thing. I think people are by
the way people are running around, they're not tipping the housekeeper.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
I've learned. I'm sure they are.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
It's that same like people are not learned how to,
although I'm quite confident I've forgotten yeah maybe yeah, transparent,
I'm sure I have to. But the thing that is
confusing about the like on the way out the last
day move is that who's that's not necessarily the same
person yet.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
That's what's That's what's hard because some places they go
and they'll say the name of your housekeeper, right right,
so you can be like, Okay, this is all for them.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
But I have a friend who carry is moving out
of their place and they'd lived there a long time.
They had so much shit in there, and they were
like not getna clear the place, okay, Like they were
like they were.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Kno getting it all out? They were not.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
They were like I like that I got a cut
and run. Okay. Oh god. This is one of my
absolute recurring dreams. Okay, Like it is an ongoing years,
years and years long thing. And when I'm in the
dream like all right this okay, Like it's that my
freshman year in college, I never cleaned out my my
dorm room. Yeah, and I haven't secured housing for the
(33:31):
next year again, and I know that I'm sort of
gonna be in trouble and that there's like thousands racking
up like in fines and that there's this room with
all this shit. So anyway, so my friend's move was
leave a bunch of shit there and then sprinkle my
dollar bills throughout like everywhere. Okay, they were just like
(33:57):
amidst stuff. It wasn't just like a tip on the tape.
It was like it was like, isn't it like thrilling
when you finally like when you hear someone tell you
about something they do that you haven't heard before.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Yeah, that's a new one. So you're saying they're moving
out of their house and they just there's like piles
of books and like appliances they can't figure out, so
they just spray money.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
I went into my sweep of the place after he left,
through his stuff.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Yeah I would love to Yeah, oh my god. And
then uh and I saw the dollars like you open you.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Open a closet, and it's like I'm trying to figure
out what like he explained it to me like in
this way like I don't know, just just people's own
logic of how things work. The other one was like
I think the other thing he like taught me, like
because they'll teach me things like this is my friend Paul.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Okay, I'll teach me things like oh that's an old one.
That's all. That's a classic, like you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (35:03):
Like and it'll be like stubbing out a bunch of
cigarettes in front of the like house or the apartment
that you want to buy to try to discard.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
That's amazing. That's amazing. He's like, you know, you don't
know that one like you was, because like we're.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
Like leaving of like an apartment where like pretty like
sure like I want or something like that, and he's
like discarding trash.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
That's really funny.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
That's good.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
He also said something really comforting about spending money in
New York, like when I was like I run out
of money already, like did like and he's like, you
can't light a cigarette for ten thousand dollars in New
York City or something. Yeah, I love you can't light
a cigarette four. That's a good one. What about you
know my family? My cousin's kind of into to the
tune of oh yeah, great of nine hundred.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
That's good. I kind of had a misfire with a
server at a restaurant last night where what was it
we're talking about having fun dessert conversations come up something.
He starts talking about this dessert and I go, Jesus
a come with a blowjob too?
Speaker 1 (36:17):
Or was it?
Speaker 2 (36:17):
Because it's like this and that right, and and I go,
there's a couple of blowjob taking it back and then
he kind of goes he kind of laughs back, and
I go, you know, the actual way to do that?
I was like, that is a fun one, but what
it really is is if you're noting the yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Go, I said, sorry. The actual way I go this.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
The best way to do that joke is actually if
you're with a friend and you see the price of something,
so it's like, oh, you know, the salmon exactly going
to cost forty go, you go, Jesus will come with.
Speaker 3 (36:45):
A blowjob too, exactly. That's the way. That's a classic.
That's the classic. But I prefer yours. You just let
the misfire land. I actually think now that I'm saying,
never forget when I was going to that restaurant so
many times via Corona in a week and they would
present the special and I knew the special.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Because I was there last night. Yeah, and they were.
Speaker 3 (37:02):
Slowly shaving truffles off. You know, they have this truffle
and they're slowly shaving it off on to pasta over
the course of the week. Oh you know, it's like,
so it's a special for the week and they go
and we have a pasta with the butter and truffle. Okay,
and is by like night three? Literally they go and
we have pasta with a truffle. I go for forty two.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
No, no, that's hop Yeah, okay, I go for forty two,
like like we know, and wait, what what were we
talking about?
Speaker 1 (37:31):
Oh yeah, no, waiter the misfirefuck.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
He might have also like was it a he yep,
might have also sort of just panicked. Not quite because
the joke wasn't in that.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
Reacted fine, I think I think I just felt.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
That it was inappropriate. No, I don't know, it was fine.
I did to laugh. You felt you deserved, that's for sure,
But I was laughing.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
I loved my quip.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
Where were you eating? Casino? Beautiful lighting? Wow, really kind
of sexy restaurant downtown.
Speaker 3 (38:07):
Oh wait, I want to just shout out, fucking Sconces.
We were sent because they've arrived the candle Sconces.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
Great.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
It was so fabulous.
Speaker 3 (38:16):
So we were talking about sisconces and live burning candles
and the whole question, and Peter Dolcas wrote an email
and said, doth protest too much? Because remember remember the
question of whether candles burning candles at your dinner party
hanging on the wall. I was saying, maybe doth protest
to you like they're sex in that house? And I'm like,
or is there right?
Speaker 2 (38:36):
Right?
Speaker 3 (38:36):
So he just wrote, Peter Dolcas wrote, doth protest too much?
And I just wrote, I know you're not fully committed,
but would you like some candle ssconces?
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Wow?
Speaker 3 (38:43):
And they were sent and they're beautiful and I'm sourcing
battery operated ones.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
I'm looking at this.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
He sent us the hurricane candle sconce Dulcus d O
l K asked Peter Dulcas dot com.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
They're stunning.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
But now the question, of course, now the new prison
where to put them?
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Of course, of course I'm worried about my flight. Thinking
about my flight, you're.
Speaker 3 (39:08):
Just slipping into, of course, matching my rhythm.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
I don't lie. You know, we do have to.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Go also because I have a half an hour to again,
of course going I have a huge do you release
me of this going to Rome with a huge carry
on I mean, sorry, a huge checked bag?
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Fuck it right? Who cares? Who cares?
Speaker 2 (39:31):
I can always buy an extra suitcase if I want
to load up on clothing.
Speaker 3 (39:36):
Well yeah, but there's the question that it's too big.
Then why would buy an abstracity? Aren't you worried?
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Isn't it?
Speaker 3 (39:41):
This is like the joke the classic is it's like,
should I bring a freaking big suitcase? Because like, do
you release me from worry about bringing me suits too big?
Speaker 1 (39:51):
Should I?
Speaker 2 (39:51):
Like packed? I mean this is really, this is really
I had this fantasy of I'm gonna ship stuff back
to La now before you lea Sunday, I can't go
to f at f fat Well, I'm having a joke.
I can't go to FedEx. They're closed right by the way.
Are you fucking kidding me? You're clothes on Sunday? What
is this church?
Speaker 3 (40:10):
When the hell are supposed to? I think church is
open on Sunday? You did it again.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Again.
Speaker 3 (40:17):
You're like like you're at three now, like three, like
like you're like trying to pretend to completely You're like,
what is this closed on Sundays? It's like you knew
there was something true about Sundays at church.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
But don't.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
But don't you agree FedEx being closed on Sunday is bizarre?
Speaker 3 (40:39):
Well, everything that's only open during working hours, we're at work. Yeah,
I mean, I mean this is the classic like shopping,
give me the nightmall, you know, yeah, I know, the
hell are people supposed to shop at eleven thirty.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
On a Thursday?
Speaker 2 (40:58):
Totally? Totally.
Speaker 3 (41:01):
Also, you know it was big for me night salon?
Oh yeah, totally. I like thought this was a genius
Monday salon with my concept okay, because I think Mondays
when salons are all off, but I would always find myself,
and so this concept was the Monday salon. And then
you know, hairdressers from other places could come use a chair.
(41:22):
The Monday's good if they wanted a chair, run a chair.
You've been gone for five minutes.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
You're gone.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Sorry, sorry, sorry, I'm all actually setting in. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:34):
The hunger of the exhaustion. Mm, we can call it.
We can call it. I am gonna. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Thanks again for taking my call earlier when I was hysterical.
Actually even better, you texted me, you called me. I
was like, can you FaceTime? Yeah, face to face? Yeah,
that's how it's done. I was trying to fly in
to fix it mode, but then I remembered, surrenders all
we have. Oh no, bye, I never got to the
(42:10):
fucking poem. Read the poem. Now, read the poem.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
Now I'm reading the poem. I'm reading the poem. I
read the four lines.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
Are ready because I was saying about that feeling. I've
brought it up before in pooh if it deserves being
brought up, and it appears to be written by Patrick Phillips, okay,
nineteen seventy Heaven, it will be the past and we'll
live there together, not as it was to live, but
as it is remembered.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
Oh god, it will be the past.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
We'll all go back together, everyone we ever loved and
lost and must remember. It will be the past and
it will last forever.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
Oh as it is remembered.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
Now, don't you dare scoff at the general language, you know,
because actually, yeah, it's all there. Yeah it is. There
is precision there. Yeah, you could sort of not not
hear it, just be like, oh, the past, heaven, it
sounds kind of broad. No, not as it was to live,
but as it is remembered. Yeah, it's haunting.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
Oh I survived, Jacqueline. Yeah, I knew you would. It's
still so hard. You know you can.
Speaker 3 (43:13):
I mean you're you have, You're able to shift into things.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
You know.
Speaker 3 (43:18):
It's kind of interesting, m which suggests you know you're
not completely mentally ill. Like emotions come and go and.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
You know what I mean. Yeah, I mean yeah, I'm
still being canceled the week. No no, no, no no, I
don't mean the emotions are gone.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
No no, it's true. Okay, I gotta go back up
all this fucking ship. All right, love you, love you bye.
That was food. If you enjoyed pood, please subscribe, rate,
and review.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
If not, we will press charges
Speaker 2 (44:00):
Thrustevrem
Hi, I'm Kate Berlan, I'm Jacqueline Novaka.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
And this is poog, an ongoing conversation about wellness between
two obsessive.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Friends, two untamable intellects. This is our hobby, this is
our hell, This.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Is our naked desire for free products. This is poog.
Today's topics Looslie speaking, just inconsolable poetry in motion.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Ding Dong, Darling ding dong.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
So I have no trouble saying I have no trouble
coming to the eavesdroppers with full vulnerability and say I
was hysterically sobbing on FaceTime video with you, Jacqueline, an
hour ago, mere minutes ago, and look at me now,
be honest, how'd you feel about that?
Speaker 1 (00:48):
But the sobbing, Yeah, I loved it.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
I'm in the middle of waiting the phone might ring,
and here I'm sold the Bowery and I talked to
the manager. I said, I had a personal meltdown this morning.
Can I please have an extra hour? You're hysterical, you know.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
Well, it's funny because like I was trying to say,
like you can, I'll say, I'm recording my podcast right now,
in which I'm promoting the hotel I know, I know.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
It's another that's another.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
We're going a little over because I just can't operate
the good the bed sheets are and telling.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
That it's really interesting.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
We continue to be humbled in this life by emotions
the way, but it's it's nice to know that even
an hour ago I was inconsolable and now you're alive.
I could imagine getting lunch, right.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
I have this memory. I used to doubt or worry
that because if there was a moment where depression I
wouldn't even say lifted okay, but sort of shifted that
like if there was a moment in the day where
I didn't think, I was like, you know, I was
almost like do I need to call the doctor and
be like I'm a fraud?
Speaker 1 (01:55):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (01:56):
Like, yeah, like I'm not depressed. And I feel like
it was always almost like you like, because.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
I'd have.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
And then the television Jill comes back from commercial. I'm like,
whip my head and I'm watching it.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
Yeah, it's like.
Speaker 3 (02:09):
The baby, you know, the baby mine the attention, which
is something where I've utilized the ad D to slip
out of. I've given myself the permission to not stay
on task with the suffering. Should it alleviate? Yeah, it's like, no,
(02:36):
roll with it, don't worry, She'll be.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
Back, totally, totally. Yeah, dear God, I loved it. Obviously.
I love to be there for you.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
It really helps to call a friend because I was
sitting here and I was like, I'm not going to
put this on anyone, you know, and then I thought
I need help.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
I thought I actually need help. I don't find that remotely.
Speaker 3 (03:01):
No, I know you could take it. It's interesting to
note what one can take or not. So it's just
such a thrilled there's a cat out there who I know,
you know, a neighbor cat who's just relaxing in the grass.
And to see a cat and repose, just to let
one's eyes fall upon it, it's.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Relaxing, you know.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Freud, I think said what I can't remember. They always
feel like it's a true he was obsessed with. Time
spent with a cat is never wasted there. It is
actually helped me during the depression years. I was like, well,
this is just years spent in the presence of cats.
So yeah, wait, take me back.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Well, first of all, sing go my armpits are burning
because I am. I found a deuterant that really works,
but it gives me a rash, but I don't care.
So it's it was advertised me on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Ow it's called see you are I E. It's like
a spray.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
It's like kind of natural, I think, or it's like
not fully like natural, but you know, it's like pretty good.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
So I bought it.
Speaker 2 (04:04):
It arrived, I sprayed in the morning, boom went on
a you know, I was traveling all day airplane whatever,
end of the day. Get home fresh as a rose,
as they say, or I guess it's a daisy. Yeah,
and I've been using it. It's been hot here in
New York and running aun all day. I'm great, you know,
but it does produce a red rash kind of not
(04:25):
in the center of the pit, but like they can't
at all around. Yeah, and I'm kind of like all right,
and it goes away. It's like red for maybe twenty
minutes and then it's gone. Right Now, I'm having some
burning though.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
The vagine having some burning my tops off in this league?
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Good?
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Sure could you were pixelated as hell? They're just tits
ever heard of them?
Speaker 2 (04:46):
I'm not gaping but anyway, but wait, yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
So the red rash. Do you have the product with you? Yeah,
I want to know the ingredients. By the way, last
night in Whole Foods, I scoffed, I scoffed. I picked up,
you know, an energy drink of some kind, and you
know what does it say? No scary ingredients. Okay, this
whole thing, this whole marketing ploy that we've like nothing nothing.
(05:13):
I mean, these are the wellness cliches of the last
ten years ago.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Nothing Grandma wouldn't put in her.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
I wish that's almost like a ninety there's a big one.
If you can't pronounce it, why would you? And it's like, well,
I also can't pronounce like one of the main amino
acids that runs my body, So how fuck you that argument?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
I can't pronounce cities in Rome and I trying to
say most of the neighborhoods, and I'm still going tonight.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Can you believe that tonight? Where you staying? I said, like,
I know, I've spent a week there, literally are you literally? Okay? Great? Yeah,
well I locked it down for you now. At least that.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
I had to ask Matteo Lane, who was my guide
for Oh wow, I wish I go to Rome or Paris,
comedian Mateolan.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
And then he said, Rome cool.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
I almost think I should play it, but it's marvelous,
it'll really get you pumped him him explaining sure, Okay,
my god. So it was just you know, I mean,
talk about certainty, you talk about mushrooms whole time. I'm
in Scotland going I'm going to go somewhere.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
We're going to go somewhere.
Speaker 3 (06:21):
We're in international waters here, let's go somewhere, And and
it was like, do we go to I've never been
to Paris, I've never been to Rome.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Little Jacquelin Novak had only been to Russia.
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Yeah, it's so funny, Okay, scrolling through and I'm going
just all of a sudden, you know, I haven't texted
him in a year whatever, And then just I just
you know how I like to do it.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
I don't like saying hello, who needs it? Hell?
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Yeah, if Chris and I were to pop off to Italy,
parenthes has never been, say Rome open to where I
write and enjoy good food? Literally, is there a neighborhood
slash area? Also open to other cities?
Speaker 1 (06:56):
Truly?
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Just typing Rome into Airbnb, also consider entering Paris.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Okay, yeah, save this.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
Message click and then I'll send you after I just
woke up so I can't type. You're going to go
to Rome. You're gonna stay in the neighborhood. A great
hotel is called g Rough, which sounds like a gay bar.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
I've heard about that place.
Speaker 4 (07:22):
You want to stay sort of near Piazza di Neva,
And I think you should go to Rome. It's just
I mean, it's the most incredible city. There's no You
have to go to Rome, and I'll give you a
list of places to go for gelato, for pasta. I
can hook you up with other Italian comedians who speak English.
(07:43):
If you want to get dinner with them, you need
to go to Rome.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
And then the Lynx are you starving? So then it's
a series of links.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
I think it's good in Rome.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
Are just ticket attack the Romans. The Italians have created
the best art in the world. When it comes down
to hotel designs, they'll just put a chair in the
middle of the room.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Be like, look.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Great, Jacqueline, can you believe me? I was able to.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
I couldn't even enjoy the comedy this morning because I
was so swept up.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Sometimes you have to wait till later. Well, no, because
I was here. I am waking up.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Imagine this, waking up in the in the Bowery hotel,
you know, slept through the night, right, waking up, going
to Rome that night.
Speaker 1 (08:27):
So you are going tonight. This is clear, this is
happening tonight. Tonight. My god, Oh my god, I.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Got Rome going tonight and I'm hysterically sobbing, hyper red.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Lady, you know, and arguably just about nothing. I mean,
you know what I'm saying, right, No, I should say nothing.
This is you know, but yeah, everything's no.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
I mean it's just life is hard and endlessly painful
and round around me.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
Eotion, emotional, but nothing social indignity of you know. There
it is. I've said it. Emotion the essential indignity of
being a human. It's unacceptable.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
I hate it having emotions, having relationships is should be illegal.
Speaker 3 (09:09):
So I just got a text from my dear friend
Liz Pong, and I'm going, should I try baiter?
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Oh my god? Yeah, what do you say to that?
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Isn't that?
Speaker 1 (09:18):
I know?
Speaker 3 (09:18):
I knew, I knew you'd be interested. So she just goes,
do you use slash love? Augustinus Beata, I'm contemplating trying it,
and I wrote, people love it. My mother included, I
always think when actives are buried in a cream, it's
sort of a waste. God, you're good, so I almost
suggest using the serum and then applying any thick cream
(09:39):
on top to hold it in.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Damn.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
The question is what are your goals? Okay?
Speaker 3 (09:45):
This is what I start to say when people bring
up like ask like a skincare question, because it's like
and then I realized, like genius, Oh yeah, this is
why that is, like that is the language of transactional
like beauty commerce, because it's like it's not like let
me see your face and I'll figure out what what
what's fucked away effects?
Speaker 1 (10:03):
You know what I mean? It's like, what are your goals?
Speaker 3 (10:06):
She wrote, I don't know, look younger, try harder, and
I can give you a regimen for the overall. And
then she's like, I have a good rich cream that
I like, so maybe I'll try the better serum. And
then I said, I'm about to record poog, but I
was just gonna say, let's get you. If you're not
using any serums right now, I wouldn't start with batter
(10:29):
because like then you're going to have the results of
using us serum and you're going to be like I
need this for life, and it's like three hundred dollars.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
So it's like, I feel like we should get you
on more affordable.
Speaker 3 (10:40):
Serum first, that like could have huge benefits and see
how that does you mm hmm. So it was really
sweet actually because I got to see my friend, my
dear friend Liz Pong meet you after the special. That
was really cool to me and she, you know, it
was just it was God, that was a good feeling.
I mean, that is the wedding feeling.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Right, that is gathered. It's really nice.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
And then I have these moments sometimes in those scenarios
where it feels like the afterlife, like yeah, like this
sort of the people. I don't know, it's so weird.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
It's interesting.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
God, that poem on the subway. I know, I reference
it like once every sixty two episodes, But.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Like which one the chicken one?
Speaker 3 (11:19):
No, I know you love the roast chicken and red
wine one. You know, they are the only ones. You
and me are the only ones. Like it's not true,
we're obviously not the only ones. But I enjoy thinking
I'm just looking it up heaven poem poetry in motion
right like you and me deeply taken with the poetry
(11:41):
in motion? Yeah, oh here it is.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Are you ready? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (11:44):
I mean to be in the subway. I mean, because
here's what I'll say. It's like, you're down there and
you're reading. I mean, I mean, I'm reading everything that
are you not reading every fucking adam?
Speaker 2 (11:54):
But I had a kind of weird existential crisis, or
I don't know if it's existential, but I was standing
in a crowded subway train car looking at an advertisement,
and the eye contact with the people in the advertisement,
oh moved with you really threw me.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
They were looking at me.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
They were at this level where somehow I was like,
they're really seeing Yeah, it was it was an image again,
it was just a photo, but they were looking at
me in this way that almost caused me to turn
my head like stop, Like it was so invasive, and
I felt that they were really seeing me. And then
I moved down. I moved down. Guess what, Still they're
(12:35):
still looking at me, And then that is what convines.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
So they're looking at me here and when I'm over there.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
How okay, I'll tell you oh, I think this is
my understanding, and it certainly doesn't happen all the time,
but there is something about I think if they are
somehow managed a dead center into that lens, the true center. Okay,
if you think about those those cones, those triangles of
the way, like go into a triangle and then reflects,
(13:02):
it's like then wherever you are, if you're looking at
the image, I don't know, it's like it's not.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
But here's what I will say. Eye contact. Okay, I
know I've brought it up before. What the fuck is
happening there? Because do you not experience eye contact?
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (13:24):
For one as like, first of all, you know, the
second you've got it, that's weird of that, the second
you've landed on eye contact, it's like you're locking into
a force field, like your eyes have landed on the track.
You can feel them settle into the track of the
eye contact, you fucking know, right, Yeah, and it it
feels like something's actually happening. But all that's happening is
(13:46):
one set of eyeballs is perceiving another set of eyeballs. Yeah, okay,
what and then sending signals back to both brains.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
That's weird.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Like if you looked into a telescope or not a telescope,
just a binoculars. Right, there's a lens. There's a glass lens. Yeah, okay,
this is huge.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Are you ready?
Speaker 3 (14:04):
This is what you're looking at it? And you think
there's me. Then there's this tube a piece of glass.
It's magnifying. And then there's the thing. Right, nothing's between you.
There's a clear window between you, is my point. Okay,
the eyeball is not a clear window to the brain.
You are not behind a glass window seeing things. Oh god,
(14:28):
it's closed, bitch, it's closed. It just happens to be
a computer that happens to be sitting on the front.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Of your face.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
Yeah, it's not open.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
It's not open space, right right right, And you think
like your irises are like are like a cloudy stained
glass that you're seeing through or something?
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (14:46):
No, I mean and then and then all senses being
processed through the brain is where where you just go.
So'm I'm seeing nothing, I'm feeling nothing. I am absolutely
And then you go, well, consciousness it's primary well Jesus, yeah,
all right, sorry, but yeah, it's not a window. Fuck
(15:06):
I think that's huge. Yeah, and window to the soul.
While a metaphorical sort of literary concept. I think people
are walking around. I don't know, maybe maybe or not.
Don't you think of your eyes as me? Doesn't it
feel like they're a clear thing though that you're like, don't.
Don't they feel like a window. There's you inside and
there's you out and those are two windows.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Got it? It's okay.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
If it's almost making me anxious, it's freaking me out. No,
it's fine.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
It's just the idea that where am i?
Speaker 2 (15:33):
We talk about this? Where am I in the body?
Where are we in the body?
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Of course?
Speaker 3 (15:36):
Because guess what? Try to find yourself in the thoughts.
Let's just say in the synapses? Who is experiencing?
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Help me?
Speaker 1 (15:42):
I better not be in the thoughts?
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Yeah, Like you could point to a thought sparking in
the brain.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Where's the thinker? Oh? No?
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Like if you looked at a machine with a bunch
of synaps in a computer, and then you look at
a brain with a bunch of synapses, who makes that happen?
One of them them, one of them is being experienced,
like the human brain. There's someone experiencing those computers there's
no thinker. So it's like damn, you know, the horror
of like or the wonder of.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Sorry.
Speaker 3 (16:18):
I just became self conscious because my cousin like they'll
say this thing like they're like, you know, it's real,
it's so weird. They're like they're like they apologize for
like these kinds of thoughts and then they'll be like, sorry,
this is really like n Yu freshman, like like late
night at a party, being like, are you seeing the
same thing I'm seeing? But these are the questions. These
are the questions. I know, I know these are the questions.
(16:39):
It's true. Yeah, So all to say, what serum am
I going to recommend to Liz? I think it's a
fermented serum in the realm of the classic latter but
duped time revolution Misha essence. I think that's where it begins.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
So I have like a day here in New York.
I'm gonna be running some errands.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
You're essentially taking out what a fucking red eye? What
are you taking?
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Kind of close to it, which I'm usually anti, but
so I'm gonna put on my Ilia skin serum to
walk around all day SBF whatever. Getting on the plane,
you don't want to do an eight hour flight in pigment.
You know it's coming, right, So do get to the airport,
Do I nutrigena, you know, makeup? Wife off the makeup,
and then put on Yeah, that is what I do.
(17:40):
And then I put on a moisturizer for the plane.
Speaker 3 (17:42):
The way you just affirmed the nutrigena wipe casually is
gonna be huge for people as they passed through cvs.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Oh well, guess what. The blue original Nutrigina makeup remover
white works is the one, and I've tried others and
that's the one I returned to.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
Okay, Sorry, I got excited about that. So here's what
I see it as I see it as I mean,
unless you're real sicko, a real Charlotte Tilbury, Okay, why
the fuck do you need pigment? Do you need coverage,
et cetera on a flight? Again, exactly, I never want
makeup on a flight. So it's it's about cocooning the skin.
(18:19):
Like to me, it is moisture. Yeah, it's an intense
it is clean the skin.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
The answer is that's what I did.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
And then layer on hydration, okay, and then washing my
face in the sink. Oh no, No, I'm not suggesting I'm.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
Going to wash my face here.
Speaker 3 (18:34):
That's exactly what you're gonna do. Okay, tell me how
I think you should wash your face. This is just
the yeah wash your face is about, and the public
sink bough. Okay, I would almost this is like my
I don't even know how to explain why this is like.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
To me.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
It's about washing the face and hydrating it now with
with a mist, with an essence, with a watery serum,
so you get those going. I would almost be missing
your wome way to the airport. Okayget I'm going tonight. Oh,
I see you're leaving the hotel now and you're free
floating in the New York City air until night.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Yeah, I have to take off the day.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
Well, if you want to go pro, you wash it
in the airport. You go in the bathroom, you wash
it in the air.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
No, I'm gonna I'm gonna change out of my jeans
here back at the hotel in the bathroom, and I'll
wash my face. I'll go into my track pants, I'll
wash my face, and I'll board the flight. It's gonna
be brutal. John and I are flying together. Back of
the plane. Yeah, there's no way around it. It's not
gonna be pretty. It'll be fine. The back of the
(19:37):
plane thing, Like, first of all, it's a dream when
you're getting on. It's like just sailing to the back.
I don't know, it's kind of nice. Is it a dream?
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Getting on? Sailing to the back.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
Okay, I'm trying to figure out why. I think it's
because if you're flying with status.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
You're boarding a little bit earlier.
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Like if you're flying like I am when I fly
Delta Sky Priority, Okay, getting on a little early, a
lot of those bastards are not in the back. Okay,
so maybe that's why it's empty.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
Bot Okay, Yeah, here's a crucial question.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Yeah, here's a crucial question.
Speaker 2 (20:10):
I could be potentially in a situation where I would
get an upgrade, but I will not be abandon John.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Well, what time is this flight?
Speaker 2 (20:18):
And that's friendship ten thirty pm? You believe that, So
this is a sleeper potentially. I was thinking, how long
is a flight?
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Like seven hours? It's eight hours. It's a sleeper. Well, see,
because I was actually arriving the next morning.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
As everyone knows, I don't do pills, but I do
was thinking about popping half a Klana pin.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
I mean, you guys are going to try to sleep? No,
because yeah, that would be the answer. Then you'd wake
up eight hours.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Eight hours, forty minutes you land at Romans one pm exactly.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
So I got news for you. You get the thing you're going.
You're going to be trying to sleep.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
I mean, you get the thing you go. You had
right the fuck up to first.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
If I get an upgrade, it's not gonna happen. You
mean you wouldn't do it abandon John. It's not abandoning
John about you. You're both gonna be sleeping, okay, but
you being more pleasant company for the whole fucking trip
as a result of a night's sleep.
Speaker 1 (21:09):
I means, have you discussed it with John?
Speaker 2 (21:11):
No? But I already don't think it's I'm gonna get
the upgrade, and I already don't think.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
But we're talking about philosophically if you do. Yeah, It's
why I also want to answer the question, what do
you do if it were a day flight? It would
be a different matter. Very true, if you're both truly
planning on sleeping, which I think you are. I just
think I guess it depends if you know whether you
can you're cable of sleeping on a flight.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Well, this is what so, this is what's hard for me,
and this is why I do think I should fucking
pop a klwan because I don't sleep well on planes
at all.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
So you could get an upgrade because you have a
status cracked.
Speaker 1 (21:49):
Well, I'm trying to even.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
I mean, ask John this, would you rather hang out
with me tomorrow after I've gotten a night's sleep? John,
I know that's that's what you say. I know, I
mean than one of you is stronger, you know, up
to up to the task in the morning getting your
ass out of fuman gino or whatever.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yeah, I think that's the airport.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
I just had a moderate anxiety here, which is that
I'm looking here. It's asking me to check in. I
booked the flight with my old passport, so now my
new passport is a different number, and I fucked no.
Speaker 3 (22:20):
I think you just have to update it in your
information right. Well, here's what's really interesting.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Won't let me information or not? A gate agent with
a you might have to do it.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
There these people with their with their gate agents.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
Oh joh, I would you booked it with your old passport?
Was your passport expired at the time you booked it? No,
but it was I think you're fine, Yeah, you're whole.
I'm looking at it right now, a passport in the hand.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
I had to expedite. This thing wasn't cheap.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
You know what I've been thinking about m and Chris
was sort of like really, like, you're going to go there,
but the food is so goddamn delicious And these lounges okay, yeah, exceptional.
I like I had like the same meal three like
like there were stops.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
What'd you mean?
Speaker 3 (23:09):
So there was a day where I like was in
like three lounges I think it was two, okay, and
it was the same you know menu, and it was
maybe have I spoken about the smoked salmon like creamy
like salad and then the olive top of nod that
was plentiful. If there was a small jar of all
(23:30):
of top it was like a massive like for days,
like it was goddamn pickled onions, I believe. I mean
it was insane and I was like, I'm about to
go out there and reckon with you know, the absolute
hell of the snack box. The hey want to pay
twelve dollars for a you know, the snackbox. I'm like,
(23:52):
there's gonna be no food in the same there's a
delicious meal here. I was like, do I get travel
food containers and pack it up, load up my meal
in the lounge and then I can bring it on
the plane. I mean a gorgeous salad. I've made gorgeous salads,
proteins of all kinds.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (24:14):
Great, But what I've noticed they don't even have a
travel cup lid in there for the coffee, so they
are just scouraging take away.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Oh shit, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
I was like, is there a cop Like, I'm like,
just grab some coffee in here.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
Like.
Speaker 2 (24:29):
Oh, by the way, I remember I was in a lounge.
This was peak COVID and I wanted a bottle of
water in the lounge and they said, we have water
in a glass, right, And I thought, well, not only
is that filthy a COVID nightmare, right, but exactly they're
discouraging and grabbing a bottle of water and hitting the road.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Yeah, I mean rude. Yeah, I sort of pulled it
off once.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
I forget what the situation was, but it's just the
food's really fucking good there.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
I can't believe have you ever had like an exciting
food experience in a lounge?
Speaker 1 (25:05):
I mean what lounges? Are you in Delta and barely
in the lounge? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (25:09):
I mean, didn't you realize I can hardly talk about. Yes,
I was fucking silver and I didn't know.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
I know, I think, yeah, I'm gold or something else.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
It makes me like whatever it was, But you know
I was silver, Jacqueline. I didn't know that I could
get free upgrades. I wasn't adding myself to the upgrade list.
Are you hearing this? Are you hearing this? No one
taught me how to live. You should see EMA's face.
I was scrounging. I was down there in the gutter
with silver medallion status.
Speaker 1 (25:39):
I was like a scam artist of the Delta.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Emma managed to like like make two K or something
straight up by like saying like I'll get on the
next flight and then like it happened.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Kay, apparently doing that? You believe that.
Speaker 3 (25:54):
No, But sometimes I'll arrive and I'm not hungry, and
I'm just sitting there in front of this plenty, going
so do I eat it? Just because it's free and
it's here, And it's delicious. Like, no, I'm not hungry,
you know, it's.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
I'm gonna eat, you know what, I'm realizing lait flight
like that, I'm gonna have a big old dinner. And
then you get on the plane you go to sleep.
Oh you treat that like night right hard to resist
light food. Yeah, but don't eat on the flight. So
I'm saying, just go to bed. You mean, don't let
them wake you for food. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:20):
I feel like they kind of don't wake you for
food when it's like the night flight. No. God, it's
so weird to be like put to bed when they
like put you to bed, like the lights go out
in the plane and it's like a bunch of adults.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
It's like nap time. It's like it's very weird.
Speaker 2 (26:34):
To sleep big. I'm on the aisle.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
To think there's someone between John and I is really hard.
There is, I believe what?
Speaker 3 (26:41):
Yeah, So then Kate, I got you off, you go
to first if you get the upgrade.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Okay, I'm looking at wait, I'm not gonna not even
next to each other, but we are, but there's Kate,
let me look.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
For someone between us. You're not next to each other,
do you know? What it means to be seated next
to someone.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Okay, i'll tell you this. I'm middle Actually, good news,
good news. We're a two seater. I forgot.
Speaker 3 (27:02):
Well there it is, Chris and I refer to that
as our own private first class. Okay, because you can
do anything, right, I mean, you're free if you're in
a tour.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
I'm almost positive because I booked this.
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Oh my god, I think I got audio.
Speaker 3 (27:18):
I was on a flight where I was somehow sandwiched
inside of a child's soccer team.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Oh my god, oh my god.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
And it was during the two.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Seater I love you, We're free for you last okay.
Were they all screaming their heads off the whole time?
Speaker 3 (27:33):
Screaming their heads off and coughing like like a fountain,
you know, like a like a stone fountain of a
little boy spitting. Yeah, it was like that, but like
it was like, let's see how far and wide my
cough can go, like you know, these like thing like
like like children there like that.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
They're like, yeah, yeah, they love it, Yeah, yeah totally.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
Yeah, yeah they're proud. I don't know, I don't even
know what it is, but.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Oh my god, I'm so really you a John and
I aren't in a tour. Now everything is fine. I
can finally finally relax and we're actually in the middle,
not the back. We're in the back of the plane
on the way back from Rome, and that's gonna be
brutal because we have a four hour layover at the
Paris airport.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Okay, so therefore, wait, that's not why it's gonna be brutal.
It just makes sense. This is really gonna say. Here's
the thing about the back of the plane. It's like
this for feeling like it's like like it's bad. But
then it's like, why, Okay, it's a perception issue because
here's the thing. It's only bad if you think when
you land and you hear like that whatever, the sound
of being like the door is open and people are
starting to the plane, the feeling like you should be
(28:38):
getting off the plane right then then it's.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
That's not what the back is for me. The back
for me is that I remember once like reading in
the eighties that it's like all the like exhausts, like
the most toxic part of the plane is the back
of the plane.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
It doesn't make any sense, right, It's it's an interesting
tube of filtered air.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Yeah, hepa, is that a small little extra gassy back there,
like gasoline?
Speaker 3 (28:58):
You know what I mean, it's a little extra like
I don't I've not, I've not noticed that. I think
that maybe that was true in the seventies.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
Okay, yeah, maybe that's actually seventies smoking when people were smoking.
Were people still smoking on planes in the nineties, I
don't think so.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
I think the like eighties. I mean, I don't think so.
Speaker 2 (29:17):
So. I have a memory of flying Southwest as a child,
repeatedly with my mother, and I remember hearing I think
I've said this on pook. It's not a fabrication. I
remember the flight attendant saying, ladies, if you wouldn't mind
wiping your lipstick off your glass, your plastic glass before
you give them back.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
Two people were plastic glasses that, yeah, that were given back.
Speaker 2 (29:40):
I remember, And I'm in a real shock. Is this
like Nelson Mandela effect or whatever?
Speaker 1 (29:44):
The fuck? Yeah? I remember them saying, wipe your lipstick off.
Speaker 3 (29:48):
Looking it up now, that makes sense to me, the
wipe your lipstick off. Really, but there's no glassware on
a on a regular plane, That's what I'm do you understand?
Speaker 2 (29:57):
Wait in first class.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
It's track.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
Uh, unless you were flying first where maybe they give
you stuff in.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
This was not first This was plastic, right, That's why
I'm confused. I know.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
I thought it would just go straight in the landfill
right in. If you have the.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Memory, ladies, if you wouldn't mind.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
Wiping, ladies, you was mind wiping off your Lipersick, here's
your basket of kisses.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
I know, bad man. Oh yeah, of course I realized
she had it. She had it.
Speaker 3 (30:22):
She's a copywriter. Oh imagine just being in that smoke
filled plane.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
I know.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
God though, imagine the like the delight just taking out
of smoke and lighting it up where they ash I
can't picture. Oh no, right, those were those little ash trays.
Oh yeah, there were little ashes.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
I had those.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
That's how you know.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
That's remember that the planes we still had the ash trays. Yeah,
we had the ash trays and they were like gumming there. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
Yeah, that was the whole thing. These kids today, they
don't know.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
I have a question, urba mate, urba mate, Do you
have a question about your ba mate?
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Yeah? I mean, isn't that supposed to be better than coffee?
Speaker 3 (31:18):
Better than coffee? Not convinced well, yeah, but like a
cleaner high. I'm sure have you seen this thing advertised?
It's like to pair with your amphetamine salts. By the way,
By the way, have you ever been have you ever
prescribed that? It's like it's the generic avadderall or the
generic of Brittlan or.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Something like that.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
You get em fetamine salts like that.
Speaker 3 (31:42):
Like they handle this thing that's amazing, And it's like
they're staring at your like is this like nineteen twelve?
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Like you just wave these under your nose. It's how
they wake.
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Up corpses that is familiar, so they get the last
What do you do a day.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
Tip for the housekeeper? Bucks a day in a hotel?
Speaker 3 (32:01):
Interesting, I hadn't heard the per day kind of concept
as a way.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
To I don't have them come into my room every day.
So well, every time they come in, you tip them,
you know what I mean? Or kind of end of
the trip here you go, right, I mean the end
of the trip, on the end of the bed, the
end of the trip thing. I think people are by
the way people are running around, they're not tipping the housekeeper.
Speaker 1 (32:25):
I've learned. I'm sure they are.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
It's that same like people are not learned how to,
although I'm quite confident I've forgotten yeah maybe yeah, transparent,
I'm sure I have to. But the thing that is
confusing about the like on the way out the last
day move is that who's that's not necessarily the same
person yet.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
That's what's That's what's hard because some places they go
and they'll say the name of your housekeeper, right right,
so you can be like, Okay, this is all for them.
Speaker 3 (32:56):
But I have a friend who carry is moving out
of their place and they'd lived there a long time.
They had so much shit in there, and they were
like not getna clear the place, okay, Like they were
like they were.
Speaker 2 (33:05):
Kno getting it all out? They were not.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
They were like I like that I got a cut
and run. Okay. Oh god. This is one of my
absolute recurring dreams. Okay, Like it is an ongoing years,
years and years long thing. And when I'm in the
dream like all right this okay, Like it's that my
freshman year in college, I never cleaned out my my
dorm room. Yeah, and I haven't secured housing for the
(33:31):
next year again, and I know that I'm sort of
gonna be in trouble and that there's like thousands racking
up like in fines and that there's this room with
all this shit. So anyway, so my friend's move was
leave a bunch of shit there and then sprinkle my
dollar bills throughout like everywhere. Okay, they were just like
(33:57):
amidst stuff. It wasn't just like a tip on the tape.
It was like it was like, isn't it like thrilling
when you finally like when you hear someone tell you
about something they do that you haven't heard before.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Yeah, that's a new one. So you're saying they're moving
out of their house and they just there's like piles
of books and like appliances they can't figure out, so
they just spray money.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
I went into my sweep of the place after he left,
through his stuff.
Speaker 1 (34:29):
Yeah I would love to Yeah, oh my god. And
then uh and I saw the dollars like you open you.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Open a closet, and it's like I'm trying to figure
out what like he explained it to me like in
this way like I don't know, just just people's own
logic of how things work. The other one was like
I think the other thing he like taught me, like
because they'll teach me things like this is my friend Paul.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Okay, I'll teach me things like oh that's an old one.
That's all. That's a classic, like you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (35:03):
Like and it'll be like stubbing out a bunch of
cigarettes in front of the like house or the apartment
that you want to buy to try to discard.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
That's amazing. That's amazing. He's like, you know, you don't
know that one like you was, because like we're.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
Like leaving of like an apartment where like pretty like
sure like I want or something like that, and he's
like discarding trash.
Speaker 2 (35:27):
That's really funny.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
That's good.
Speaker 3 (35:30):
He also said something really comforting about spending money in
New York, like when I was like I run out
of money already, like did like and he's like, you
can't light a cigarette for ten thousand dollars in New
York City or something. Yeah, I love you can't light
a cigarette four. That's a good one. What about you
know my family? My cousin's kind of into to the
tune of oh yeah, great of nine hundred.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
That's good. I kind of had a misfire with a
server at a restaurant last night where what was it
we're talking about having fun dessert conversations come up something.
He starts talking about this dessert and I go, Jesus
a come with a blowjob too?
Speaker 1 (36:17):
Or was it?
Speaker 2 (36:17):
Because it's like this and that right, and and I go,
there's a couple of blowjob taking it back and then
he kind of goes he kind of laughs back, and
I go, you know, the actual way to do that?
I was like, that is a fun one, but what
it really is is if you're noting the yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Go, I said, sorry. The actual way I go this.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
The best way to do that joke is actually if
you're with a friend and you see the price of something,
so it's like, oh, you know, the salmon exactly going
to cost forty go, you go, Jesus will come with.
Speaker 3 (36:45):
A blowjob too, exactly. That's the way. That's a classic.
That's the classic. But I prefer yours. You just let
the misfire land. I actually think now that I'm saying,
never forget when I was going to that restaurant so
many times via Corona in a week and they would
present the special and I knew the special.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
Because I was there last night. Yeah, and they were.
Speaker 3 (37:02):
Slowly shaving truffles off. You know, they have this truffle
and they're slowly shaving it off on to pasta over
the course of the week. Oh you know, it's like,
so it's a special for the week and they go
and we have a pasta with the butter and truffle. Okay,
and is by like night three? Literally they go and
we have pasta with a truffle. I go for forty two.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
No, no, that's hop Yeah, okay, I go for forty two,
like like we know, and wait, what what were we
talking about?
Speaker 1 (37:31):
Oh yeah, no, waiter the misfirefuck.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
He might have also like was it a he yep,
might have also sort of just panicked. Not quite because
the joke wasn't in that.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
Reacted fine, I think I think I just felt.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
That it was inappropriate. No, I don't know, it was fine.
I did to laugh. You felt you deserved, that's for sure,
But I was laughing.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
I loved my quip.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
Where were you eating? Casino? Beautiful lighting? Wow, really kind
of sexy restaurant downtown.
Speaker 3 (38:07):
Oh wait, I want to just shout out, fucking Sconces.
We were sent because they've arrived the candle Sconces.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
Great.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
It was so fabulous.
Speaker 3 (38:16):
So we were talking about sisconces and live burning candles
and the whole question, and Peter Dolcas wrote an email
and said, doth protest too much? Because remember remember the
question of whether candles burning candles at your dinner party
hanging on the wall. I was saying, maybe doth protest
to you like they're sex in that house? And I'm like,
or is there right?
Speaker 2 (38:36):
Right?
Speaker 3 (38:36):
So he just wrote, Peter Dolcas wrote, doth protest too much?
And I just wrote, I know you're not fully committed,
but would you like some candle ssconces?
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Wow?
Speaker 3 (38:43):
And they were sent and they're beautiful and I'm sourcing
battery operated ones.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
I'm looking at this.
Speaker 3 (38:50):
He sent us the hurricane candle sconce Dulcus d O
l K asked Peter Dulcas dot com.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
They're stunning.
Speaker 3 (38:57):
But now the question, of course, now the new prison
where to put them?
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Of course, of course I'm worried about my flight. Thinking
about my flight, you're.
Speaker 3 (39:08):
Just slipping into, of course, matching my rhythm.
Speaker 1 (39:14):
I don't lie. You know, we do have to.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
Go also because I have a half an hour to again,
of course going I have a huge do you release
me of this going to Rome with a huge carry
on I mean, sorry, a huge checked bag?
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Fuck it right? Who cares? Who cares?
Speaker 2 (39:31):
I can always buy an extra suitcase if I want
to load up on clothing.
Speaker 3 (39:36):
Well yeah, but there's the question that it's too big.
Then why would buy an abstracity? Aren't you worried?
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Isn't it?
Speaker 3 (39:41):
This is like the joke the classic is it's like,
should I bring a freaking big suitcase? Because like, do
you release me from worry about bringing me suits too big?
Speaker 1 (39:51):
Should I?
Speaker 2 (39:51):
Like packed? I mean this is really, this is really
I had this fantasy of I'm gonna ship stuff back
to La now before you lea Sunday, I can't go
to f at f fat Well, I'm having a joke.
I can't go to FedEx. They're closed right by the way.
Are you fucking kidding me? You're clothes on Sunday? What
is this church?
Speaker 3 (40:10):
When the hell are supposed to? I think church is
open on Sunday? You did it again.
Speaker 2 (40:17):
Again.
Speaker 3 (40:17):
You're like like you're at three now, like three, like
like you're like trying to pretend to completely You're like,
what is this closed on Sundays? It's like you knew
there was something true about Sundays at church.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
But don't.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
But don't you agree FedEx being closed on Sunday is bizarre?
Speaker 3 (40:39):
Well, everything that's only open during working hours, we're at work. Yeah,
I mean, I mean this is the classic like shopping,
give me the nightmall, you know, yeah, I know, the
hell are people supposed to shop at eleven thirty.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
On a Thursday?
Speaker 2 (40:58):
Totally? Totally.
Speaker 3 (41:01):
Also, you know it was big for me night salon?
Oh yeah, totally. I like thought this was a genius
Monday salon with my concept okay, because I think Mondays
when salons are all off, but I would always find myself,
and so this concept was the Monday salon. And then
you know, hairdressers from other places could come use a chair.
(41:22):
The Monday's good if they wanted a chair, run a chair.
You've been gone for five minutes.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
You're gone.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Sorry, sorry, sorry, I'm all actually setting in. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:34):
The hunger of the exhaustion. Mm, we can call it.
We can call it. I am gonna. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Thanks again for taking my call earlier when I was hysterical.
Actually even better, you texted me, you called me. I
was like, can you FaceTime? Yeah, face to face? Yeah,
that's how it's done. I was trying to fly in
to fix it mode, but then I remembered, surrenders all
we have. Oh no, bye, I never got to the
(42:10):
fucking poem. Read the poem. Now, read the poem.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
Now I'm reading the poem. I'm reading the poem. I
read the four lines.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
Are ready because I was saying about that feeling. I've
brought it up before in pooh if it deserves being
brought up, and it appears to be written by Patrick Phillips, okay,
nineteen seventy Heaven, it will be the past and we'll
live there together, not as it was to live, but
as it is remembered.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
Oh god, it will be the past.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
We'll all go back together, everyone we ever loved and
lost and must remember. It will be the past and
it will last forever.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
Oh as it is remembered.
Speaker 3 (42:45):
Now, don't you dare scoff at the general language, you know,
because actually, yeah, it's all there. Yeah it is. There
is precision there. Yeah, you could sort of not not
hear it, just be like, oh, the past, heaven, it
sounds kind of broad. No, not as it was to live,
but as it is remembered. Yeah, it's haunting.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
Oh I survived, Jacqueline. Yeah, I knew you would. It's
still so hard. You know you can.
Speaker 3 (43:13):
I mean you're you have, You're able to shift into things.
Speaker 1 (43:17):
You know.
Speaker 3 (43:18):
It's kind of interesting, m which suggests you know you're
not completely mentally ill. Like emotions come and go and.
Speaker 1 (43:29):
You know what I mean. Yeah, I mean yeah, I'm
still being canceled the week. No no, no, no no, I
don't mean the emotions are gone.
Speaker 2 (43:36):
No no, it's true. Okay, I gotta go back up
all this fucking ship. All right, love you, love you bye.
That was food. If you enjoyed pood, please subscribe, rate,
and review.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
If not, we will press charges
Speaker 2 (44:00):
Thrustevrem
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