November 4, 2025 • 46 mins
In this week’s episode, Eboné continues her conversation with a New York stripper. In Part 2, Eboné's guest opens up about the pressures of the industry and whether she ever felt the need to change her body, while Eboné shares her hot take on BBLs. She also gets real about being outed by a popular podcaster and the emotional journey of finally telling her dad her secret.
Donate to The Professional Homegirl 2nd Annual Turkey Drive here
Connect with Eboné:
Buy Eboné A Gift: Shop Now
Eboné PHG Storefront: Shop Now
Read Eboné's Love Letters: www.theyalltheone.com
Website: www.prettyprivatepodcast.com
Instagram: @theprofessionalhomegirl & @prettyprivatepodcast
TikTok: @prettyprivatepodcast
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebine, a space where no
question is off limits and storylines become lifelines. The views
shared by our guests are meant to inform, entertain and empower.
From the laughs to the lessons. Just remember, tough times
don't last, but professional homegirls do enjoy the show.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Hey, guys, is Shagara Ebine here? And I hope all
is cute. Now, before we dive into this week's episode,
let's do a little housekeeping. Okay, first of all, what
did we think about this year spooky series? I feel
like it was so good right, and of course Taylor
came through with his sound effects like always, Oh, thank
(00:47):
you so much, Taylor. But I don't know, guys, let
me know what you think about this. I'm thinking about
we should do a spooky series and make it year round,
you know, a little little scared here and there. I
don't know something. What you think send me your emails
hello at the phgpodcast dot com. And should we just
keep the spooky series only for October or should we
sprinkle a little a little spooky episode here and that
(01:08):
throughout the year. I would love to hear you all thoughts.
And also you can watch all of the episodes on
YouTube by subscribing to the Professional Homegirl channel. Okay, We're
almost at a thousand subscribers and I'm so so excited.
Plus I get the monetize, y'all, so please hold me
no out. But you know this has definitely been a
goal of mine for this year, so please make sure
(01:31):
to hold me down. Don't hold me up. Also, y'all
know that my coloring books, A Professional Homegirl Coloring Books,
Volume three is out, so don't forget to grab yours, y'all.
The reviews have been amazing, Like everyone is loving volume
three okay, like no shade, no tea, Like this is
the best coloring book out there, and I cannot wait
(01:52):
for you all to see Volume four like fire. So
if you would love to purchase a coloring book and
you want to support your favorite Professional Homegirl, hit the
show link below to grab yours today and least but
not list, y'all. Most importantly, we are gearing up for
a Professional Homegirl second annual Turkey Drive and Memphis, y'all,
(02:13):
my hometown. Our goal is to feed two hundred families
and I need all the support I can get. You
can share and donate or just get more information by
clicking the link in the show notes below. And also,
let's remember y'all, you know this is a tough season
for everyone, so let's not shame anyone who needs support.
And I know it's not my professional homegirls, but I've
(02:33):
just been seeing some disgusting commentary about people using food stamps,
and I'm gonna tell y'all right now, Okay, we are
a lot closer and I do say we to using
food stamps than we are to becoming billionaires. Okay, especially
in this economy. So let's continue to support each other.
Let's continue to lift each other up. No donation is
(02:54):
too big or too small, so please, please, please make
sure you share this amazing an initiative that I created
to get back to my city that made me and
they gave me to give you all the best gift,
which is me, Okay, And the last day to donate
is no remember twenty first. We are in the process
of finalized and all logistics, so I will hopefully I
(03:15):
have an update with you all soon because I'm like
super excited with the possibility of having some partners being involved.
But until then, donate and share by clicking the link
in the show notes be low. Now, on this week's episode,
we're going to finish up our conversation from part one
with our New York stripper story. So in part two,
(03:35):
my guest opens up about whether she ever felt pressure
to change her body while working in the industry. I
also give a hot take on bbls, and my guests
also shares her experience of being outed and how she
told her family she was a shripper. So, y'all, this
was such an amazing conversation, so please get ready because
part two starts. Now, Well, I feel like you're pretty
(03:59):
confident and you know who you are. So have you
ever felt pressure and like wanting to change your body
because of this industry?
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Oh? Yeah, I think like when I first got in
the industry, like I was like this close to like
getting like my lips done just to start, like and
who knows what would have happened after that, because you
know how it is like once you get something done,
like you just are like what else can I like
fix or like augment or whatever? Right? But I think
luckily because like I have like a career outside of this,
(04:30):
Like I'm kind of just like like there's like this
isn't the end.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
All be all for me, like I want, Like I'm
not trying to be.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
No like journalists or reporter producer taked up with a
BBL like you know, telling my story before I get
into a chance to tell my story. So I have,
But also too, there is nothing that like excuse me,
proves that like having surgery increases your earnings, Like there
(04:59):
is no metric that determines.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
That BBOs are loky, not even.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
In like that they're not exactly and like especially like
you haves, it's about finding your right customer, because there's
dudes that common. They're like I like that you're natural,
Like I like that you look like like I don't
really want that, like it don't look what like I want.
I don't want to be rudy to the girls.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
But I mean, no, it's a real thing, like which
I think is I have a theory on BBL guys.
I was having a conversation with a friend and we
were talking about luxury right, and we were saying, how
back in the day, because I used to before I
got into this industry, I used to work in high
(05:40):
luxury fashion doors and when you used to work in
these luxury uh uh brands, luxury was so hard for
you to get, like there was no payment plans, like
either you had it or not, and when you and
also when you had it, you didn't wear it as
often as many people were their luxury now. So I
compare luxury to bbls because back in the day, plastic
(06:04):
surgery used to be something that only the rich can do.
Only things that people like with you know, who had
like status was doing, Like plastic surgery was not something
that was accessible. So the fact that now bbls became
so accessible to everyone, it's no longer considered luxurious. It's
no long concident a thing of status. So that's why
(06:25):
everybody who had bbls are starting to go back to
natural bodies because now natural bodies are constilled luxurious and
things that, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
That's exactly it, Like it's a trend, like.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
And it's a trend and don't.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Last, Like it truly is dependent on how the consumer
is feeling. And like you said, luxury is predicated on
like it's it's it's inaccessibility, like right activity.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Like certain things like you couldn't I remember one time
I used to work at Gucci and I'm like, oh
my god, like what are y'all selling down stairs? Like
why are we making all this money? And I'm like
everybody had Gucci, even with Chanel, Like it's not like
it's expensive as hell. Everybody has it. Like nothing is
nothing is out of reach anymore?
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Right exactly?
Speaker 2 (07:07):
And also too, I couldn't be bls Yeah exactly.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
That's the other thing too. I learned that girls were
taking our loans to get their bodies done.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Yes, yeah, and like this like it's an investment.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Well that's what I'm saying, but like what is the investment?
Like you got to pay your body off and you
gotta like take that money off. Remember we have dry
seasons in the club, Like are you making the money?
Are you breaking even? I don't know, maybe you need
like somebody like you know, I would love to hear
more about that, Like does it correlate.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
To like more money in the club, because like.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
I think that if you do it a certain way
and if you position yourself, I think that you could
be able to get to what you want. Maybe not
in the club, but just in life general. I don't
think it's as easy as it used to be. But
I mean, if you if you get the right trick,
the rest is history.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
And that's what I'm saying. It depends on the trick,
like and like how they're feeling and what their vibe
is and like because I feel like there's nights for
like I'm making money in the club and I'm getting
a lot of hater ration from the girls that are
like searched and they're like like why is she making
all of this?
Speaker 4 (08:16):
Like I look like this and she looks like that.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
But it's like, I think the most empowering thing in
the club is like cause there's been nice bro, I
forgot my makeup, I forgot some lashes, and like still
left with like money and surprise myself. Like that's when
you truly have to get into your game and you're like,
these customers are not just here for what I look like,
They're here for the overall experience.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Yeah, that's how you make them feel.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
Yes, And like the way you look is a part
of it.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
And like I say this again as a black woman,
like you know that does experience anti black racism in
the club all types of shit. But when you lean
in and you're like look like like this is what
I'm good at talking making people laugh, like engaging, like
they can't get that from any other girl.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
And I'm it's I think leaning into your strengths.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Is like personality will take you far, baby, yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Like and especially let's be real, like when these customers
come in, I also try to make sure I'm the
first person that they talk to so that they look
for me after and they see, like, these girls are
not talking to you the way that I am. They're
not you know, articulating or like giving it up the
way that I am.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Like I'm making you giggle.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Yhy exactly, y'all, I'm gonna lack you out of your
wallet in a second. And they like walk away and
be like, don't look at my bet when I walk away,
just don't give a better chance to talk or anything.
Just go right, and they're they're they're gonna be like
because it's the first experience they had and after they
talk to people and stuff like that. Not every time, obviously,
but like there are times where, like you know, a
(09:47):
customer will be like, wait, come back here, and then
you talk to them and they're like why like nobody.
I hate to say this too, but like they'll be
like nobody speaks English, like nobody, like you know, is
able to like communicate, You're smart, like and yeah, I
don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Now, you're right, You're right. So wait, so does your
family know about this?
Speaker 4 (10:08):
Oh my god, yes, and what do you think about this?
Speaker 3 (10:12):
You said, what what do they think?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (10:14):
And I was telling my dad today, like cause you know,
eventually I would like a post studio is a part
of my portfolio. One of these days, I found a
job that was hiring for a whole like desk receptionist. Unfortunately,
it was like eighteen dollars an hour. And I was
telling my dad and he was like, no, don't waste
her time with that, like right, And he knows that
I'm a dancer, like I told him maybe a year
(10:35):
into like working at the club, like the first night
that I ever did it, I told Manny like I
told like a handful of like people I could count
on my hand, like how many people knew my first
year ever working in the club. And that was hard.
Like I lied to my family. I told them that
I was like a bartender. Except for my siblings. They
have my location. So I was just like, look, here's
(10:57):
what it is. This is where I'm at. You know
of anything, right whatever, and you know that was just
out of safety. They were just like okay, like type shit.
They weren't the happiest. They were just like it is
what it is, she gonna do what she wants, right.
But I think it was like a year into working
in the industry and my dad and I.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
Were like making Thanksgiving dinner. It was just us in
the kitchen, everybody turkey chow.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
I did. Like it started actually with like a random
conversation about just like I just asked him. I was like, Daddy,
have you ever been to a strip club? And he
stayed quiet at person. He was like, yeah, have you
And I was like yeah, like and I asked him
about it. I was like where did you go? And
he was like, well, I was in the Navy, so
(11:43):
I went abroad. And I was like what was that like?
And like I just started asking, like talking to him,
asking questions, and then like at.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Some point I was just like hey, like heads up.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
And it was crazy because one time I paid my
rent like good, like my dad's my landlord. But once
I paid my rent like in singles, like just to
see like how he would like respond. But I think
he just he thought like I was just being like
like a gag yet like or something like that. But yeah,
I told him about it. I was like, oh, so,
(12:14):
like heads up, like you know, I work at the
Ship club right now, like and he kind of I
don't know why. He was just like, well, you know
you did what you did. It is what it is.
And I was like, okay, well daddy, like I'm going
to work tonight and like it's not like a past
tense thing like this is what I do. And he
was really just concerned about my safety more than anything,
(12:35):
like I don't think I think he trusts that, like
I'm not going to do anything to compromise like my safety,
like I personal boundaries and stuff like that. Like I
hate niggas.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Like yeah, but and no shade to like.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
The full service people. But for me, bruh, I can't.
I don't even like when y'all touch me, Like I can't, brau,
Like no, I don't even like hugging people.
Speaker 4 (12:57):
But I don't even like when niggas look at me
for free on the street.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Wait, why did your mom? How did your mom feel?
Speaker 4 (13:05):
My mom actually passed away when I was in college.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
But what's interesting about that is that I had a
really the first year that I was a dancer. I
kept it to myself because I just was scared of
like what people were gonna think or whatever.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Right, the judgment that comes with it.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
Like bro, it made me sick, Like I literally got
like sick like six times in a year, like a
cold or like a like flu type shit. I was
like losing my hair and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
She was stressed to fuck out.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Yes exactly, and like just like again like lying to
my family like you no, like coming home late at night,
all of it. But again I tapped into that book
sex Worker, Psychics and Number Runners Black Women in New
York City's undergund Economy by doctor Lashawn Harris.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
No relation to me, Oh well whatever.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Anyway, long to the short though, she talked about like
black women in New York City underground economy and like
how they just like made things happen even in the
face of like a very like racist and anti black
and like sexist like formal work sphere. And one day
I just randomly was like, you know, I was missing
my mom or whenever she died. When I was like nineteen,
when I was in my junior year of college and
(14:17):
she had came past she had breast cancer, but she
she had it for like most of my life, like
thirteen years. And I yeah, like and she was a hairstylist.
She actually owned like her own salons, like plural and
like a true entrepreneur, like very much like I don't child,
I don't have time for this, Like I gotta go
(14:38):
to work, and you're coming with me, Like I was
raised in the hair salon, Like first job ever was
like sweeping up hair in the salon at like nine
years old.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Okay, Tina and Beyonce, right.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
All that could say.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
I randomly like looked up like my grandma's address one
day just to see like what archives could come up
from this, like what is this whole thing? Yeah, and
I found a fine that she got in in my
grandma's house for having an illegal hair salon in the
basement of like my mom's house. And I was just like,
I think that's so crazy that both of us found
(15:13):
our way in the underground economy, but under different like circumstances,
right like like and she later ended up like being
on the cover of the New York Times owning all
these hair salons like and stuff like that, and like
again like the informal funds the formal and like you know, yeah, anyway,
I thought that that was like really interesting and that
(15:35):
kind of like put my feelings in shame and guilt
to rest. And I'm like, like this is like ancestral,
like this type of work black women having to like
hack this like system to like make ends meet, and
not only like just to make ends meet, but like
to take it to the next level and like drive
and like.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Go on vacation when you want and have fun. You
want like really live like like pleasure.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
Like so yeah, I stopped feeling like game and guilt
and I just like leaned into it and like my
dad being like cool about it and everyone else being
cool about it like that just he drops me off
at work sometimes like he's like, oh my god, yeah,
like it's it's fine, like obviously he but he again
he knows that like what my boundaries are how I am.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
So I think he's just trusting that.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
But like even today, like like I was talking to
him and I was telling him, like I had a
good night the other night, and he was like, I
hope you'd be praying for these customers at the end
of the night. I'm like, anyway, like that right, yeah,
do you pray for your bosses and stuff like that
at work? No? Likely.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
What's up y'all, It's Shagar Mna here and be sure
to follow me on Instagram and TikTok at pretty Private
podcast and don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel
at the Professional Homegirl. Now let's get back to the show. So,
has someone ever outed you as a stripper?
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Yes? Child of Oh my god. There's one particular what
ginger podcaster that did attempt to out me on his
ragny podcast about like a time that he had with
me in the club and not just me but like
(17:26):
like his co hosts and like some actual like full
service like sex worker points star girly like hm hm anyway,
but yeah, that that that that did happen essentially what
we did at the IQ room, And I kind of
peeped that it was him in the beginning, but I
(17:48):
didn't really like want to like confirm or whatever.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
And also I'm sorry, but like in the club, like
I your status outside of.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
The club doesn't really matter, Like I just want to
get paid, so like everyone's a superstar in my eyes, but.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
That everybody is a superstar, baby, you know, like so.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
Long as it makes sense you're paying sure, like, but yeah,
we did a VIP room and like it was three
of them, one of me.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
They were being weird, like not weird in.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
The sense of like you know, asking for extra shit
or anything, but like I feel like we were both
just looking at each other like what do you want? Like,
cause I feel like I was. I came in. You know,
in our VIP rooms you can set the music and
set your own vibe or whatever, so like, you know,
I played some music, and I felt like they were
all just like sitting there like looking and I was
kind of just like, okay, like do y'all want like
(18:40):
different music or something?
Speaker 2 (18:41):
This looking at each other truly like and then I
was like.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
All right, well, I'm just gonna play some music and
I'm gonna dance, like if y'all want to like throw
some money along the way, cool, Like I don't know.
At this point, we got an hour left, like we
hear right? Yeah, So yeah, we were doing that and
then the dude he had to asked, He was like, so,
what's your story?
Speaker 4 (19:02):
And I like literally was like, oh, like puts titties away,
Like what do you what do you mean by that?
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Like what do you want to know did you recognize
who he was at that point, like oh this is so.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
And so uh yes, but also like like maybe eighty percent,
Like I still wasn't like h but then yeah, I
had told them. I was like, oh, like I work
in the podcasting industry, like I host the show about
the strip club.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
I'm with like this particular company, And they.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Were like, oh, like we have a podcast, and I
was like, oh okay, I thought, so, like what welcome,
Like how are you guys? Right? And anyway like it
it It just was like a it was like a
chat cast like in the viv room. But I would
have been I didn't know that they were going to
(19:54):
use that like experience and like turn it into content
like quite literally hours later at the studiento and like
talk more about it and like put it behind a
Patreon wall and like capitalize on that experience, like.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Goddamn, because they was talking about the experience and a
friend of yours reached a couple of people reached out
to you and.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Was like is this you talking about? Right? They had
mentioned like they said, like a black girl that does
podcasting that works at this particular club.
Speaker 4 (20:26):
So they didn't like explicitly say my name and.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
My name at the club isn't my real name, right,
but you know, there's only about three dancers that are
black that work in the club, and like we're oftentimes
like not even there all. At the same time, was anyway, yeah,
someone from college had I guess listened to the show
and reached out. Actually no, he didn't reach out. He
(20:52):
actually shared like my social media with the host of
the show.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
And then the host of the show reached out to me,
and I was kind of like, what the hell is this?
Speaker 3 (21:00):
And then the host of the show had told me, oh,
I guess a friend from college recognized who we were
talking about and shared your socials with us, and there's that.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
And then there was talk about like, oh that.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Is kind of scary though.
Speaker 4 (21:15):
Bro, it's really a small world, like not even just
in the podcasting issue, in the strip club industry in general.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Bro, Like it's just.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
And then yeah, long, like there there was talk.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
About, oh, come on the show and stuff like that,
or maybe we can like bring Mike's in the VIP
room and do an episode there. But then those conversations
like quickly wavered and like turned into like just oh, so,
what are you doing tonight? Are you going to work?
Like let's like like there was yeah, like and from
there again Like for me personally, I really it's just no, Like.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Yeah, and that's so crazy because what are the odds
of this person having their platform and they having this
conversation about their experience and the next thing, you know,
people are hearing you talk about someing, Hey this is you?
Like that is so crazy to me.
Speaker 4 (22:06):
Yeah, And like they've named.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
The club, like and there's multiple locations of the club,
but like they specifically said like it's location.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Oh that's scary.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
It was about a paywall, like who knows, but like
it's still like a weird feeling, like the hyper surveillance
of it all right, Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (22:30):
So what do you do without it?
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Because I'm just like because now you think they about
your safety, So like what do you do to ensure
that you're gonna that you're you're safe? Because even though
your siblings and your father and everybody have to have
your location, but like you know, you're a critique woman.
And then like when you have people come on or
you don't know who's who and they're talking about, oh
I met this girl at this so and the location
isn't it? Like like what do you do in those situations?
Speaker 3 (22:54):
I feel like yeah, I mean one, all my social
media is are private just yeah, like anything like even if.
Speaker 4 (23:02):
There's like a moment where like okay, a customer is like.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
Asking for like my number, I'll be like, oh, I've
given my social media, you have to pay for that.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
But even still, like you know, I'm determining who's allowed
to come in and who's not.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
So there's that right. Also just like when I come
home from work, like I'm not gonna lie. Sometimes I
take the train, sometimes I drive, Like it just depends
on how I feel. Sometimes I uber like it just
I don't know, depends. But like I will like put
my money in like a separate area like that is
not like a wallet that in case someone does try
(23:36):
to like yeah like that like here you have the
wallet with the little ten dollars on it, like my
money is really here or.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Yeah, I like it.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
I love New York. The way we think is like
because I be doing that too, Like I put my
phone somewhere else, just get somebody shore I steal my bag.
It's like nope, a.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Little dummy iPhone six here child like take it. Yeah,
but yeah, or even at home, like I have a
safe like with like you know, a code and a
lock on it. And when I do drive, I have
a safe there as well, like but even still my seat,
I'm not even on, I'm off, like and if I'm driving,
like I'm making sure that nobody's following me. I'll say
(24:18):
four or five times before the host is clear. And
if someone is following, I just take them somewhere where
they don't feel safe, like whether that is the precinct
or a very hot, spicy block, I don't know, but
you know, a little guessing game surprise, right.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Have you ever been in a situation like that where
you feel like the customer.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
Was like never really no good? And also bear mates
bro like yeah, forty feet of protection man like bear
mace a tager.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
Like like, I mean it's there, like I I see it,
though if you get that close that I have to
use it.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
Oh, Like I don't think I was vigilant on my
end and to make sure that like you know, not
even trying to vike them blame but like I'm just
again New York.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
I'm just hyper vigilant about like my safety.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Yeah, us New York girls like you gotta keep your
hair on the swovel, like we don't play no games.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
The daytime and the night time whenever, all.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Day, all night. Okay, So being working in this industry, like,
how has your experience as a dancer changed how you
think about love and intimacy?
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (25:31):
Wow, okay, that is so interesting.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
Why you hear that? The only reason why I asked
because I'm just thinking to myself, like if I was
to constantly be around men, and like, your approach to this,
your style is different than most, Like you're not full service.
So for you, it's basically your personality that's helping you
with your clientele. And then you actually, you know you're working,
but you're pretending that you're interested in these people. And
(25:59):
maybe sometimes she may get a connection with them, but
I can only imagine how some of these men feel, like,
oh shit, I'm laughing. She cool this that I'm getting?
Look one two step, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (26:10):
Like, yeah, oh my god, I mean okay to that,
like like in the club, Like I dated like while
working in the club, and not like particularly like men
in the club.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Although I am dating someone that I met in the
club right now for the first time ever. Like that's crazy.
But I've dated like civilian men that like don't come
to the club, and I think I want to know something.
I think, Okay, when I dated those dudes, like, Okay,
this dude I'm dating right now, I'm not saying he's
(26:47):
like a special person or anything, but.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
When it comes to like not too light in love already,
I know that's so. It is a beautiful thing.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
No, I never wanted to date while I was in
a shiplub. I never wanted to because, like, bro, I
don't even want my man going to a strip club,
Like why like or if they do.
Speaker 4 (27:07):
I can understand if like, Okay, we're together and we're
like out of New York and like I am, you're
in Atlanta.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
Okay, we're there for the experience, let's pay the girls whatever,
But like, no, like, are you comfortable.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
With your partner being in the club.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
M I would say, at this big age, I don't
think it's a matter of me being comfortable. I'll just
be like why because you got all of this at
home type of thing, and why can't I come with you?
Speaker 4 (27:39):
Yeah, Like I don't know.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
I feel like even if you go into the club
with like the purest of intentions. Brothers, alcohol baddies, like
like the way.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
I don't know, but like I said, I used to
really enjoy going to the strip club, Like like I
was in the strip club so much that I was
helping this one girl named Jamaica. I doubt if she
still works there, but I was helping her trying to
get in school. Like that's how active I was in
the strip club. Like yeah, like I used to be
in the club. So and I think the clubs are
like for me, it's a party, like people used to
(28:12):
go to the strip clubs to party and hang out whatever.
So I want to be uncomfortable. But I feel like
if my guy was to continuously keep going to the
strip club, then it will raise red flags for me
cause it's like because I mean, like the men I
they don't really go to the strip club. They don't
even go to clubs like that. Les I want to
go out and it's more so like lounges and stuff.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
So yeah, part like bro, even in that episode of
like Married to Medicine, they have code length like we're
gonna go get some wings, which means like we're going
to to the.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Strip Club, right, hate that and I don't even eat
chicken no more. So that's another reason why I don't
go to the club because they have the best hot
wings y'all, Oh my god, the best wings.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
But yeah, no, like okay, I feel like there have
been times like once, like I dated like a basketball
player once and like he was playing like professional ball
but like national or whatever, and like I don't know.
One time we were talking and he was like, I
play ball, you work in the club, like it makes sense.
Speaker 4 (29:09):
And I was like huh, like what does that mean?
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Like why do you like me?
Speaker 4 (29:15):
Like that's not what you're trying to hear, so play.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
And then I dated this other dude that had like.
Speaker 4 (29:22):
Or has like a really well known like music platform
or whatever, and like like you know what, nig no
he he take record.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Like he has like that.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
Show on the radar, like the music platform where the
niggas come on and they do the freestyles or whatever.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Oh yeah, you posted you posted on him on your page,
did I? Well, not him, but you gave him a
shadow I started post on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
I hope not. Oh yes, I saw.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Oh my god, listen when I get in my research
band that's crazy.
Speaker 4 (30:01):
Yeah, oh well maybe about okay exactly, I'm.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Gonna beat some of that out, so they put yeah,
but yeah, And then I.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
Just found it interesting that like suddenly, like when he's
talking to these rappers and stuff like that, like the
topic of like dating strippers is coming up and like
stuff like that, and I'm like, huh, like and not
just that, like where I went to school is also
coming up, and like I think, like I think every
man wants to like date a stripper or at least
(30:32):
have the story of, like, oh I dated a stripper
back in my day because it just gives them like cold.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Because in their mind it puts them at a level
of the men that they want to be like exactly.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Yeah, for sure, cultural like relevance or something.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
But like yeah, matter of fact, like I didn't like Nika,
shut up.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
No, Like it still doesn't work, like.
Speaker 4 (30:56):
But yeah, I think so.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Yeah. But I'll say, like this particular dude, even though
I met him in the club, like and we've only
been dating for like five months or whatever, I made
very clear like I don't want to date like or whatever.
But he's been a gentleman. But this is the first
time that I've had a dude say like how long
are you gonna be in the club. It's like I
don't want you in the club, And like it makes
(31:21):
me think about like the last situations that I've had
where like those dudes were like okay with me being
in the club, and I'm wondering, like was it because
they didn't like me the same way that I like them,
and like like maybe like they knew it was like
a temporary thing or whatever, and like they didn't care enough.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
To like you know, yeah, the illusion that you gave
them prison, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
And also dating dudes in the club, like you have
to like be clear, like who I am here is
not who I am like outside of here, Like I
like I'm a loser, like I read I go kayaking
with my dad like like I like, yeah, like we're
gonna be talking about like black them theory outside hearing,
(32:05):
like workers' rights not.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Like but that's a real thing though, because I don't
know if you remember this, but the Trina she was
saying how when she used to date these men, they
would want the rapper Trina. She was like that is
not me, Like that's part of me, but like who
I am at the court, you're gonna be highly disappointed, exactly.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
And also, wasn't Trina a dancer at one point?
Speaker 3 (32:26):
Like wasn't she a stripper once upon a time?
Speaker 2 (32:29):
I want to say yes, yeah, interested, I want to
say yeah, yeah, but I want to say also, most
well not this day and age rappers, but most rappers,
most feomale rappers were shippers, come from the industry.
Speaker 4 (32:44):
Eve dream Doll, she was like a bartender, but yeah,
like it was a Chinese kitty as well. It was
a little star tender.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Yeah yeah, but.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
Yeah, but yeah, dating is like yeah, exactly, exactly, not
like you just have to remember, like if you're in
the club, you're like, hey, hell are you still here?
This is the fantasy? Or if they start to think something,
charge them for like something else, like snap them back
to reality. Yeah, because yeah, I don't feel like texting
nobody once I leave home, Like I don't why normal?
(33:23):
But yeah, there's not.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Has strippen like has it impact that your mental health?
Because I feel like, I mean, I want to say,
I feel like you got a good hit on your show.
It's like you're not like, I know you said that
you wanted to retire this year, but you also felt
like maybe you're not where you want.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
To be at.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
But I don't know, I feel like I just speaking
to you and get to know more about you, Like
I feel like your mental health hasn't really.
Speaker 4 (33:52):
Like yeah, I feel like it's I think again.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
I know, I think. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (34:00):
I come from like a privileged background, like you know,
I went to like a private college, Like you know,
this is.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
Kind of like survival work.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
But you know I could like just go and get
like a little like cause you really have to shrip?
Speaker 3 (34:17):
Do I really have to strip? Like no, no, I'm
gonna be honest, no, But the thought of like going
back to like a twenty dollars an hour job and
like getting like overworked and underpaid, I'm like, like I
definitely don't want to do that. I'll do it like again,
like my timeline is my timeline, Like if I have to,
(34:39):
I'll do it, or I'll probably do that and still
stay at the club. Yeah, But overall, like I think
in the beginning, when I was at the wrong clubs,
it was like I was feeling very incapable and I
was feeling like what the hell, what is going on?
My money is plateauing? Like it doesn't make sense, and
there was a lot of like comparison going on. But
(35:01):
I think when you zoom out and you're like, look
like you don't know who's doing what for how much
like inside the club and outside the club truly, Yeah,
and like the same way that like in the real world,
you don't know like what people have done or what
they haven't done to get to where they've been, Like
that's their journey and that's where they are. Like you are,
(35:24):
like your person, the way you look and stuff like
that is specific to you. Like that's just what it is.
And like also though, I think it's really important to
do things outside of the club that affirm who you are,
what your existence is, and like not.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
Associate so it doesn't affect your identity.
Speaker 3 (35:42):
Yeah, and like not to associate how much money or
how little money you made the night before with like
your value, like I've had I'm not I'm gonna be honest,
even the night that I made that little five thousand
plus or whatever, like I still was like this was
not enough is enough? Like so yeah, I think having
(36:05):
a community though, definitely helps, like because this is very
isolating work, Like when I'm coming home from work after
hours and stuff like that. It's just me. Most of
my friends were completely opposite schedules, like and I have
like lost friends throughout the process, even like my black
friend theorists, you know, scholar friends from college that they
just don't get it, like or they don't see that.
(36:29):
They still think it's like work done under the male gaze,
which like some of that is true, yes, but also
they don't realize that, like we do have agency in
this work, or at least I have agency in my work.
And I yeah, I choose what like I want to
pass and what doesn't pass, Like my boundaries are my boundaries?
(36:51):
Like yeah, so yeah, I think also like bro like moving, stretching,
like so much in mental health too, is like are
you showering? Are you eating?
Speaker 4 (36:59):
Are you yeah yourself like delf care, Yeah exactly, so
like if you're able or for me, I found that
that helps.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
Going on hot girl walks helps, like and just reminding
myself like there's a world outside of this and like
that's the reality of like work too, like your work,
like Tony Morrison said, like you go to work, you're
you so awoke.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
I love woke a woke girl. I won't see you
in there with your customers. Now do you know who
Tony Morrison.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
Is exactly like?
Speaker 3 (37:36):
But yeah, no, you go to work, you do what
you need to do, you come home like your work
is not your identity, Like it's safest that way, and
like you shouldn't make it your identity. Like I don't know.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
So where is it going to take you to leave?
Is it a good job once it comes your way?
Speaker 3 (37:51):
Yeah? Like I definitely want to. I mean okay, yeah
once by a time I was like I do not
want to work, No, damn nine to five. But like
at this point, like you know, but not know, like
fifty five thousand, like or even sixty thousand, Like I'll
do it, but I'll probably still be in the club.
I'm not gonna lie. It could no, but excuse me
(38:14):
a job with benefits because also, you know, strip club,
we don't have no benefits. And I know y'all want
to see us climb up and down the pole and
do all these crazy things and stuff like that, which
some of us are willing to do. But again, remember
this job does not cover healthcare, This job.
Speaker 4 (38:26):
Does not cover paid me.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
But any of that are you saving?
Speaker 3 (38:30):
Am I saving? Absolutely? I love a good brokerage account
like investing in stocks and bonds.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
And good for you, You're gonna be out real song.
Speaker 3 (38:41):
I feel it fingerscross, like yes, I mean yeah, I'm
even like I'm looking to change from sliding down the
stripper pole to sliding down a fired fireder pole, like
I'm not too big to get like a cute little
like civil service job. I mean probably I'm not a cop,
but no shade to the cops, but just probably not
(39:02):
a cop. Yeah, and funny enough. Actually, I think I
had a customer.
Speaker 4 (39:08):
That was a cop and he was like one of
the like I could count on my hand how many.
Speaker 3 (39:11):
Like unsafe like circumstances that I've been in, but like
that dude was actually very like bold and audacious with
like his like I did like a little vip room
with him in the hood clubs, and like immediately he
was like like very touchy and grabby and stuff like that.
I was just like, whoa, what is this, honey, And
he was like, I'm a cop, relaxed, It's okay, showed
(39:33):
me his badge and everything, and I was just like
I'm out of here, like you're scaring me one and
two bruh. Even if I was to say yes and
be down with whatever the fuck you got going on,
Like how is this like me versus you? Like, how
is this supposed to work? Yeah? Oh yeah, there's that,
but yeah, to get me out the club, yeah, a
(39:55):
good well paying job like that would help with benefits
or just I just.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
Get bold enough with like the money I've saved and
like just launch like whatever.
Speaker 3 (40:05):
It is that I want to do, whether that's like,
you know, a whole studio or like, you know, figure
out how to do this whole like media thing, maybe
a platform or a space for like dancers or all
the sex workers news related to like I don't know,
but off the top of my head, I feel like,
(40:28):
let's just secure a cute little nine to pod first
and then we can lend the rest.
Speaker 4 (40:32):
But exactly everything else is in motion though, like at
the same time.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
But I'm we had a conversation, So I'm gonna definitely
help you with the media aspect because I really want
you to know, take full charge of it and go
full thrown away because I feel like you can really
make an impact with you know, the things that you know,
the history with certain things, and like your personality and
things of that nature. So I'm excited for you. Hopefully
(40:59):
this would be the last.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
Yeah, I feel like I'm putting it out there and
that just like and.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
You're meeting people along the way that want to help
you win and help you in certain areas. So I
think it will be yeah, thank you. That means a lot,
of course, and last one not least. So it would
be your advice to give to a new dancer about
this environment if she wants to get into the club,
make some extra coins.
Speaker 4 (41:24):
Yes, I think one. No, not every night, it's going
to be good.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
Like if you think you have to like go in
or you get to go in there and sit pretty
and like just get paid, like that is not the case.
I think that is only the case for like white
dancers that look like very like you know, conventionally attractive,
like you know, and I mean truly like blond haired,
(41:51):
blue eyed, like yeah exactly. I think, figure out what
your strengths are, whether that truly is dancing or like
yapping or figure out maybe massages, like whatever the hell
your like bop is in the club, like just lean
(42:12):
into that. Find the right club for you as well,
Like if you feel like your money is looking the
same and you're not seeing like you know, there should
be like an increase in like your earnings.
Speaker 4 (42:23):
Over a period of time, track your numbers to like.
Speaker 3 (42:27):
I don't think it's smart to just like come home
and like not shot down in like a calendar or
something how much you've made. Yeah, Like so that that
way you could like look back in the year before
and be like, oh, this was a slow season last
week last year as well, Like this checks out. It's
not me, it's them. I personally think, bro, like take
(42:51):
a pole class, Like I don't think it's like know
how to do something on stage. Like there are some
girls that say, like just get on stage do a
little one to waste time. I know, Like I think
that is the one time you're like marketed like for
the rest of the club and like you do your
big one, especially in a place like New York where
like these girls don't do shit on the stage, Like
(43:13):
they don't perform, they don't dance or anything. You really
stand out and like, bro, get off the stage and
go to them customers and be like, did you see
my stage performance?
Speaker 4 (43:22):
Did you want to lead a love donation for my performance?
Speaker 3 (43:25):
And they will give you something like someone but like
you can make like an extra little something that way,
and you go on stage free point something, yes, ask
for high numbers and meets like get familiar with negotiating, Like, bro,
start at a thousand, goddamn, Like even if if it
(43:48):
sounds crazy, do that, Like start at a thousand if
they're like, oh, like that gives you insight to like
what they're looking to spend, and be like, oh, what
did you think? Like you think that I deserve like
and okay, they give you a number, throw another hundred
on there, like and they'll probably meet you like there,
(44:08):
that happened on Tuesday? What else? And like again, like
you are not how much or how little you money
the money you made the night before. That's not the
case in the club, that's not the case outside the club,
Like none of this is indicative of who you are,
and so that's just that. Yeah, dang, well, this is
(44:31):
really good.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
We've been in toat I knew it was gonna too.
Speaker 3 (44:36):
I cannot believe it's been in an hour forty six minutes,
Like that's crazy. I know, I know.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
I appreciate you for coming on because I was like
when we had an initial conversation, I was like, oh
my god, I wonder if she would come on the
show and just give her experience because I did have
an interview with a stripper many years ago when I
first started, So the conversations are completely different, which I
thoroughly appreciate when we have people come on the show
and they talk about the same subject at a different perspective.
(45:01):
So I really appreciate you for coming on.
Speaker 3 (45:04):
Thank you. I'm so glad you get a chance to
get some variety too, like the dancing experience.
Speaker 4 (45:10):
Like I think, yeah, we're not all a monolith, like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (45:16):
So much, but it's depending on like who you are,
where you come from, and like truly like what you're
comfortable with.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
Yeah, well, thank you so much. And to the listeners,
I really do hope that you enjoyed this week's episode.
And if you have any questions, comments of concerns, so
you want to say hey, girl, hey, please make sure
to email me at hello at the PSG podcast dot com.
And until next time, everyone, it's been okay, later awesome
(45:44):
you gonna say it?
Speaker 3 (45:44):
Bye, oh bye, it's been real.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
Awesome girls, awesome, y'all.
Speaker 3 (45:56):
Please.
Speaker 2 (46:03):
Pretty Private is a production of the Black eppec podcast network.
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Don't forget
to subscribe and rate the show, and you can connect
with me on social media at pretty private podcasts
Welcome to Pretty Private with Ebine, a space where no
question is off limits and storylines become lifelines. The views
shared by our guests are meant to inform, entertain and empower.
From the laughs to the lessons. Just remember, tough times
don't last, but professional homegirls do enjoy the show.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Hey, guys, is Shagara Ebine here? And I hope all
is cute. Now, before we dive into this week's episode,
let's do a little housekeeping. Okay, first of all, what
did we think about this year spooky series? I feel
like it was so good right, and of course Taylor
came through with his sound effects like always, Oh, thank
(00:47):
you so much, Taylor. But I don't know, guys, let
me know what you think about this. I'm thinking about
we should do a spooky series and make it year round,
you know, a little little scared here and there. I
don't know something. What you think send me your emails
hello at the phgpodcast dot com. And should we just
keep the spooky series only for October or should we
sprinkle a little a little spooky episode here and that
(01:08):
throughout the year. I would love to hear you all thoughts.
And also you can watch all of the episodes on
YouTube by subscribing to the Professional Homegirl channel. Okay, We're
almost at a thousand subscribers and I'm so so excited.
Plus I get the monetize, y'all, so please hold me
no out. But you know this has definitely been a
goal of mine for this year, so please make sure
(01:31):
to hold me down. Don't hold me up. Also, y'all
know that my coloring books, A Professional Homegirl Coloring Books,
Volume three is out, so don't forget to grab yours, y'all.
The reviews have been amazing, Like everyone is loving volume
three okay, like no shade, no tea, Like this is
the best coloring book out there, and I cannot wait
(01:52):
for you all to see Volume four like fire. So
if you would love to purchase a coloring book and
you want to support your favorite Professional Homegirl, hit the
show link below to grab yours today and least but
not list, y'all. Most importantly, we are gearing up for
a Professional Homegirl second annual Turkey Drive and Memphis, y'all,
(02:13):
my hometown. Our goal is to feed two hundred families
and I need all the support I can get. You
can share and donate or just get more information by
clicking the link in the show notes below. And also,
let's remember y'all, you know this is a tough season
for everyone, so let's not shame anyone who needs support.
And I know it's not my professional homegirls, but I've
(02:33):
just been seeing some disgusting commentary about people using food stamps,
and I'm gonna tell y'all right now, Okay, we are
a lot closer and I do say we to using
food stamps than we are to becoming billionaires. Okay, especially
in this economy. So let's continue to support each other.
Let's continue to lift each other up. No donation is
(02:54):
too big or too small, so please, please, please make
sure you share this amazing an initiative that I created
to get back to my city that made me and
they gave me to give you all the best gift,
which is me, Okay, And the last day to donate
is no remember twenty first. We are in the process
of finalized and all logistics, so I will hopefully I
(03:15):
have an update with you all soon because I'm like
super excited with the possibility of having some partners being involved.
But until then, donate and share by clicking the link
in the show notes be low. Now, on this week's episode,
we're going to finish up our conversation from part one
with our New York stripper story. So in part two,
(03:35):
my guest opens up about whether she ever felt pressure
to change her body while working in the industry. I
also give a hot take on bbls, and my guests
also shares her experience of being outed and how she
told her family she was a shripper. So, y'all, this
was such an amazing conversation, so please get ready because
part two starts. Now, Well, I feel like you're pretty
(03:59):
confident and you know who you are. So have you
ever felt pressure and like wanting to change your body
because of this industry?
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Oh? Yeah, I think like when I first got in
the industry, like I was like this close to like
getting like my lips done just to start, like and
who knows what would have happened after that, because you
know how it is like once you get something done,
like you just are like what else can I like
fix or like augment or whatever? Right? But I think
luckily because like I have like a career outside of this,
(04:30):
Like I'm kind of just like like there's like this
isn't the end.
Speaker 4 (04:33):
All be all for me, like I want, Like I'm
not trying to be.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
No like journalists or reporter producer taked up with a
BBL like you know, telling my story before I get
into a chance to tell my story. So I have,
But also too, there is nothing that like excuse me,
proves that like having surgery increases your earnings, Like there
(04:59):
is no metric that determines.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
That BBOs are loky, not even.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
In like that they're not exactly and like especially like
you haves, it's about finding your right customer, because there's
dudes that common. They're like I like that you're natural,
Like I like that you look like like I don't
really want that, like it don't look what like I want.
I don't want to be rudy to the girls.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
But I mean, no, it's a real thing, like which
I think is I have a theory on BBL guys.
I was having a conversation with a friend and we
were talking about luxury right, and we were saying, how
back in the day, because I used to before I
got into this industry, I used to work in high
(05:40):
luxury fashion doors and when you used to work in
these luxury uh uh brands, luxury was so hard for
you to get, like there was no payment plans, like
either you had it or not, and when you and
also when you had it, you didn't wear it as
often as many people were their luxury now. So I
compare luxury to bbls because back in the day, plastic
(06:04):
surgery used to be something that only the rich can do.
Only things that people like with you know, who had
like status was doing, Like plastic surgery was not something
that was accessible. So the fact that now bbls became
so accessible to everyone, it's no longer considered luxurious. It's
no long concident a thing of status. So that's why
(06:25):
everybody who had bbls are starting to go back to
natural bodies because now natural bodies are constilled luxurious and
things that, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:32):
That's exactly it, Like it's a trend, like.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
And it's a trend and don't.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
Last, Like it truly is dependent on how the consumer
is feeling. And like you said, luxury is predicated on
like it's it's it's inaccessibility, like right activity.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
Like certain things like you couldn't I remember one time
I used to work at Gucci and I'm like, oh
my god, like what are y'all selling down stairs? Like
why are we making all this money? And I'm like
everybody had Gucci, even with Chanel, Like it's not like
it's expensive as hell. Everybody has it. Like nothing is
nothing is out of reach anymore?
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Right exactly?
Speaker 2 (07:07):
And also too, I couldn't be bls Yeah exactly.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
That's the other thing too. I learned that girls were
taking our loans to get their bodies done.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Yes, yeah, and like this like it's an investment.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Well that's what I'm saying, but like what is the investment?
Like you got to pay your body off and you
gotta like take that money off. Remember we have dry
seasons in the club, Like are you making the money?
Are you breaking even? I don't know, maybe you need
like somebody like you know, I would love to hear
more about that, Like does it correlate.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
To like more money in the club, because like.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
I think that if you do it a certain way
and if you position yourself, I think that you could
be able to get to what you want. Maybe not
in the club, but just in life general. I don't
think it's as easy as it used to be. But
I mean, if you if you get the right trick,
the rest is history.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
And that's what I'm saying. It depends on the trick,
like and like how they're feeling and what their vibe
is and like because I feel like there's nights for
like I'm making money in the club and I'm getting
a lot of hater ration from the girls that are
like searched and they're like like why is she making
all of this?
Speaker 4 (08:16):
Like I look like this and she looks like that.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
But it's like, I think the most empowering thing in
the club is like cause there's been nice bro, I
forgot my makeup, I forgot some lashes, and like still
left with like money and surprise myself. Like that's when
you truly have to get into your game and you're like,
these customers are not just here for what I look like,
They're here for the overall experience.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Yeah, that's how you make them feel.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
Yes, And like the way you look is a part
of it.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
And like I say this again as a black woman,
like you know that does experience anti black racism in
the club all types of shit. But when you lean
in and you're like look like like this is what
I'm good at talking making people laugh, like engaging, like
they can't get that from any other girl.
Speaker 4 (09:02):
And I'm it's I think leaning into your strengths.
Speaker 2 (09:05):
Is like personality will take you far, baby, yeah.
Speaker 3 (09:08):
Like and especially let's be real, like when these customers
come in, I also try to make sure I'm the
first person that they talk to so that they look
for me after and they see, like, these girls are
not talking to you the way that I am. They're
not you know, articulating or like giving it up the
way that I am.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
Like I'm making you giggle.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
Yhy exactly, y'all, I'm gonna lack you out of your
wallet in a second. And they like walk away and
be like, don't look at my bet when I walk away,
just don't give a better chance to talk or anything.
Just go right, and they're they're they're gonna be like
because it's the first experience they had and after they
talk to people and stuff like that. Not every time, obviously,
but like there are times where, like you know, a
(09:47):
customer will be like, wait, come back here, and then
you talk to them and they're like why like nobody.
I hate to say this too, but like they'll be
like nobody speaks English, like nobody, like you know, is
able to like communicate, You're smart, like and yeah, I
don't know.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Now, you're right, You're right. So wait, so does your
family know about this?
Speaker 4 (10:08):
Oh my god, yes, and what do you think about this?
Speaker 3 (10:12):
You said, what what do they think?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (10:14):
And I was telling my dad today, like cause you know,
eventually I would like a post studio is a part
of my portfolio. One of these days, I found a
job that was hiring for a whole like desk receptionist. Unfortunately,
it was like eighteen dollars an hour. And I was
telling my dad and he was like, no, don't waste
her time with that, like right, And he knows that
I'm a dancer, like I told him maybe a year
(10:35):
into like working at the club, like the first night
that I ever did it, I told Manny like I
told like a handful of like people I could count
on my hand, like how many people knew my first
year ever working in the club. And that was hard.
Like I lied to my family. I told them that
I was like a bartender. Except for my siblings. They
have my location. So I was just like, look, here's
(10:57):
what it is. This is where I'm at. You know
of anything, right whatever, and you know that was just
out of safety. They were just like okay, like type shit.
They weren't the happiest. They were just like it is
what it is, she gonna do what she wants, right.
But I think it was like a year into working
in the industry and my dad and I.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
Were like making Thanksgiving dinner. It was just us in
the kitchen, everybody turkey chow.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
I did. Like it started actually with like a random
conversation about just like I just asked him. I was like, Daddy,
have you ever been to a strip club? And he
stayed quiet at person. He was like, yeah, have you
And I was like yeah, like and I asked him
about it. I was like where did you go? And
he was like, well, I was in the Navy, so
(11:43):
I went abroad. And I was like what was that like?
And like I just started asking, like talking to him,
asking questions, and then like at.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Some point I was just like hey, like heads up.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
And it was crazy because one time I paid my
rent like good, like my dad's my landlord. But once
I paid my rent like in singles, like just to
see like how he would like respond. But I think
he just he thought like I was just being like
like a gag yet like or something like that. But yeah,
I told him about it. I was like, oh, so,
(12:14):
like heads up, like you know, I work at the
Ship club right now, like and he kind of I
don't know why. He was just like, well, you know
you did what you did. It is what it is.
And I was like, okay, well daddy, like I'm going
to work tonight and like it's not like a past
tense thing like this is what I do. And he
was really just concerned about my safety more than anything,
(12:35):
like I don't think I think he trusts that, like
I'm not going to do anything to compromise like my safety,
like I personal boundaries and stuff like that. Like I
hate niggas.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
Like yeah, but and no shade to like.
Speaker 3 (12:50):
The full service people. But for me, bruh, I can't.
I don't even like when y'all touch me, Like I can't, brau,
Like no, I don't even like hugging people.
Speaker 4 (12:57):
But I don't even like when niggas look at me
for free on the street.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Wait, why did your mom? How did your mom feel?
Speaker 4 (13:05):
My mom actually passed away when I was in college.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
But what's interesting about that is that I had a
really the first year that I was a dancer. I
kept it to myself because I just was scared of
like what people were gonna think or whatever.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Right, the judgment that comes with it.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
Like bro, it made me sick, Like I literally got
like sick like six times in a year, like a
cold or like a like flu type shit. I was
like losing my hair and stuff like that.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
She was stressed to fuck out.
Speaker 3 (13:35):
Yes exactly, and like just like again like lying to
my family like you no, like coming home late at night,
all of it. But again I tapped into that book
sex Worker, Psychics and Number Runners Black Women in New
York City's undergund Economy by doctor Lashawn Harris.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
No relation to me, Oh well whatever.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Anyway, long to the short though, she talked about like
black women in New York City underground economy and like
how they just like made things happen even in the
face of like a very like racist and anti black
and like sexist like formal work sphere. And one day
I just randomly was like, you know, I was missing
my mom or whenever she died. When I was like nineteen,
when I was in my junior year of college and
(14:17):
she had came past she had breast cancer, but she
she had it for like most of my life, like
thirteen years. And I yeah, like and she was a hairstylist.
She actually owned like her own salons, like plural and
like a true entrepreneur, like very much like I don't child,
I don't have time for this, Like I gotta go
(14:38):
to work, and you're coming with me, Like I was
raised in the hair salon, Like first job ever was
like sweeping up hair in the salon at like nine
years old.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Okay, Tina and Beyonce, right.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
All that could say.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
I randomly like looked up like my grandma's address one
day just to see like what archives could come up
from this, like what is this whole thing? Yeah, and
I found a fine that she got in in my
grandma's house for having an illegal hair salon in the
basement of like my mom's house. And I was just like,
I think that's so crazy that both of us found
(15:13):
our way in the underground economy, but under different like circumstances,
right like like and she later ended up like being
on the cover of the New York Times owning all
these hair salons like and stuff like that, and like
again like the informal funds the formal and like you know, yeah, anyway,
I thought that that was like really interesting and that
(15:35):
kind of like put my feelings in shame and guilt
to rest. And I'm like, like this is like ancestral,
like this type of work black women having to like
hack this like system to like make ends meet, and
not only like just to make ends meet, but like
to take it to the next level and like drive
and like.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Go on vacation when you want and have fun. You
want like really live like like pleasure.
Speaker 3 (15:58):
Like so yeah, I stopped feeling like game and guilt
and I just like leaned into it and like my
dad being like cool about it and everyone else being
cool about it like that just he drops me off
at work sometimes like he's like, oh my god, yeah,
like it's it's fine, like obviously he but he again
he knows that like what my boundaries are how I am.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
So I think he's just trusting that.
Speaker 3 (16:21):
But like even today, like like I was talking to
him and I was telling him, like I had a
good night the other night, and he was like, I
hope you'd be praying for these customers at the end
of the night. I'm like, anyway, like that right, yeah,
do you pray for your bosses and stuff like that
at work? No? Likely.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
What's up y'all, It's Shagar Mna here and be sure
to follow me on Instagram and TikTok at pretty Private
podcast and don't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel
at the Professional Homegirl. Now let's get back to the show. So,
has someone ever outed you as a stripper?
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Yes? Child of Oh my god. There's one particular what
ginger podcaster that did attempt to out me on his
ragny podcast about like a time that he had with
me in the club and not just me but like
(17:26):
like his co hosts and like some actual like full
service like sex worker points star girly like hm hm anyway,
but yeah, that that that that did happen essentially what
we did at the IQ room, And I kind of
peeped that it was him in the beginning, but I
(17:48):
didn't really like want to like confirm or whatever.
Speaker 4 (17:51):
And also I'm sorry, but like in the club, like
I your status outside of.
Speaker 3 (17:56):
The club doesn't really matter, Like I just want to
get paid, so like everyone's a superstar in my eyes, but.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
That everybody is a superstar, baby, you know, like so.
Speaker 3 (18:06):
Long as it makes sense you're paying sure, like, but yeah,
we did a VIP room and like it was three
of them, one of me.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
They were being weird, like not weird in.
Speaker 3 (18:18):
The sense of like you know, asking for extra shit
or anything, but like I feel like we were both
just looking at each other like what do you want? Like,
cause I feel like I was. I came in. You know,
in our VIP rooms you can set the music and
set your own vibe or whatever, so like, you know,
I played some music, and I felt like they were
all just like sitting there like looking and I was
kind of just like, okay, like do y'all want like
(18:40):
different music or something?
Speaker 2 (18:41):
This looking at each other truly like and then I
was like.
Speaker 3 (18:45):
All right, well, I'm just gonna play some music and
I'm gonna dance, like if y'all want to like throw
some money along the way, cool, Like I don't know.
At this point, we got an hour left, like we
hear right? Yeah, So yeah, we were doing that and
then the dude he had to asked, He was like, so,
what's your story?
Speaker 4 (19:02):
And I like literally was like, oh, like puts titties away,
Like what do you what do you mean by that?
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Like what do you want to know did you recognize
who he was at that point, like oh this is so.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
And so uh yes, but also like like maybe eighty percent,
Like I still wasn't like h but then yeah, I
had told them. I was like, oh, like I work
in the podcasting industry, like I host the show about
the strip club.
Speaker 4 (19:29):
I'm with like this particular company, And they.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Were like, oh, like we have a podcast, and I
was like, oh okay, I thought, so, like what welcome,
Like how are you guys? Right? And anyway like it
it It just was like a it was like a
chat cast like in the viv room. But I would
have been I didn't know that they were going to
(19:54):
use that like experience and like turn it into content
like quite literally hours later at the studiento and like
talk more about it and like put it behind a
Patreon wall and like capitalize on that experience, like.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Goddamn, because they was talking about the experience and a
friend of yours reached a couple of people reached out
to you and.
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Was like is this you talking about? Right? They had
mentioned like they said, like a black girl that does
podcasting that works at this particular club.
Speaker 4 (20:26):
So they didn't like explicitly say my name and.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
My name at the club isn't my real name, right,
but you know, there's only about three dancers that are
black that work in the club, and like we're oftentimes
like not even there all. At the same time, was anyway, yeah,
someone from college had I guess listened to the show
and reached out. Actually no, he didn't reach out. He
(20:52):
actually shared like my social media with the host of
the show.
Speaker 4 (20:56):
And then the host of the show reached out to me,
and I was kind of like, what the hell is this?
Speaker 3 (21:00):
And then the host of the show had told me, oh,
I guess a friend from college recognized who we were
talking about and shared your socials with us, and there's that.
Speaker 4 (21:10):
And then there was talk about like, oh that.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Is kind of scary though.
Speaker 4 (21:15):
Bro, it's really a small world, like not even just
in the podcasting issue, in the strip club industry in general.
Speaker 3 (21:21):
Bro, Like it's just.
Speaker 4 (21:24):
And then yeah, long, like there there was talk.
Speaker 3 (21:27):
About, oh, come on the show and stuff like that,
or maybe we can like bring Mike's in the VIP
room and do an episode there. But then those conversations
like quickly wavered and like turned into like just oh, so,
what are you doing tonight? Are you going to work?
Like let's like like there was yeah, like and from
there again Like for me personally, I really it's just no, Like.
Speaker 2 (21:53):
Yeah, and that's so crazy because what are the odds
of this person having their platform and they having this
conversation about their experience and the next thing, you know,
people are hearing you talk about someing, Hey this is you?
Like that is so crazy to me.
Speaker 4 (22:06):
Yeah, And like they've named.
Speaker 3 (22:08):
The club, like and there's multiple locations of the club,
but like they specifically said like it's location.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
Oh that's scary.
Speaker 3 (22:19):
It was about a paywall, like who knows, but like
it's still like a weird feeling, like the hyper surveillance
of it all right, Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (22:30):
So what do you do without it?
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Because I'm just like because now you think they about
your safety, So like what do you do to ensure
that you're gonna that you're you're safe? Because even though
your siblings and your father and everybody have to have
your location, but like you know, you're a critique woman.
And then like when you have people come on or
you don't know who's who and they're talking about, oh
I met this girl at this so and the location
isn't it? Like like what do you do in those situations?
Speaker 3 (22:54):
I feel like yeah, I mean one, all my social
media is are private just yeah, like anything like even if.
Speaker 4 (23:02):
There's like a moment where like okay, a customer is like.
Speaker 3 (23:04):
Asking for like my number, I'll be like, oh, I've
given my social media, you have to pay for that.
Speaker 4 (23:09):
But even still, like you know, I'm determining who's allowed
to come in and who's not.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
So there's that right. Also just like when I come
home from work, like I'm not gonna lie. Sometimes I
take the train, sometimes I drive, Like it just depends
on how I feel. Sometimes I uber like it just
I don't know, depends. But like I will like put
my money in like a separate area like that is
not like a wallet that in case someone does try
(23:36):
to like yeah like that like here you have the
wallet with the little ten dollars on it, like my
money is really here or.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Yeah, I like it.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
I love New York. The way we think is like
because I be doing that too, Like I put my
phone somewhere else, just get somebody shore I steal my bag.
It's like nope, a.
Speaker 3 (23:55):
Little dummy iPhone six here child like take it. Yeah,
but yeah, or even at home, like I have a
safe like with like you know, a code and a
lock on it. And when I do drive, I have
a safe there as well, like but even still my seat,
I'm not even on, I'm off, like and if I'm driving,
like I'm making sure that nobody's following me. I'll say
(24:18):
four or five times before the host is clear. And
if someone is following, I just take them somewhere where
they don't feel safe, like whether that is the precinct
or a very hot, spicy block, I don't know, but
you know, a little guessing game surprise, right.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
Have you ever been in a situation like that where
you feel like the customer.
Speaker 3 (24:37):
Was like never really no good? And also bear mates
bro like yeah, forty feet of protection man like bear
mace a tager.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
Like like, I mean it's there, like I I see it,
though if you get that close that I have to
use it.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
Oh, Like I don't think I was vigilant on my
end and to make sure that like you know, not
even trying to vike them blame but like I'm just
again New York.
Speaker 4 (25:11):
I'm just hyper vigilant about like my safety.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
Yeah, us New York girls like you gotta keep your
hair on the swovel, like we don't play no games.
Speaker 4 (25:19):
The daytime and the night time whenever, all.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Day, all night. Okay, So being working in this industry, like,
how has your experience as a dancer changed how you
think about love and intimacy?
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (25:31):
Wow, okay, that is so interesting.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
Why you hear that? The only reason why I asked
because I'm just thinking to myself, like if I was
to constantly be around men, and like, your approach to this,
your style is different than most, Like you're not full service.
So for you, it's basically your personality that's helping you
with your clientele. And then you actually, you know you're working,
but you're pretending that you're interested in these people. And
(25:59):
maybe sometimes she may get a connection with them, but
I can only imagine how some of these men feel, like,
oh shit, I'm laughing. She cool this that I'm getting?
Look one two step, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 4 (26:10):
Like, yeah, oh my god, I mean okay to that,
like like in the club, Like I dated like while
working in the club, and not like particularly like men
in the club.
Speaker 3 (26:25):
Although I am dating someone that I met in the
club right now for the first time ever. Like that's crazy.
But I've dated like civilian men that like don't come
to the club, and I think I want to know something.
I think, Okay, when I dated those dudes, like, Okay,
this dude I'm dating right now, I'm not saying he's
(26:47):
like a special person or anything, but.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
When it comes to like not too light in love already,
I know that's so. It is a beautiful thing.
Speaker 3 (26:57):
No, I never wanted to date while I was in
a shiplub. I never wanted to because, like, bro, I
don't even want my man going to a strip club,
Like why like or if they do.
Speaker 4 (27:07):
I can understand if like, Okay, we're together and we're
like out of New York and like I am, you're
in Atlanta.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
Okay, we're there for the experience, let's pay the girls whatever,
But like, no, like, are you comfortable.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
With your partner being in the club.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
M I would say, at this big age, I don't
think it's a matter of me being comfortable. I'll just
be like why because you got all of this at
home type of thing, and why can't I come with you?
Speaker 4 (27:39):
Yeah, Like I don't know.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
I feel like even if you go into the club
with like the purest of intentions. Brothers, alcohol baddies, like
like the way.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
I don't know, but like I said, I used to
really enjoy going to the strip club, Like like I
was in the strip club so much that I was
helping this one girl named Jamaica. I doubt if she
still works there, but I was helping her trying to
get in school. Like that's how active I was in
the strip club. Like yeah, like I used to be
in the club. So and I think the clubs are
like for me, it's a party, like people used to
(28:12):
go to the strip clubs to party and hang out whatever.
So I want to be uncomfortable. But I feel like
if my guy was to continuously keep going to the
strip club, then it will raise red flags for me
cause it's like because I mean, like the men I
they don't really go to the strip club. They don't
even go to clubs like that. Les I want to
go out and it's more so like lounges and stuff.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
So yeah, part like bro, even in that episode of
like Married to Medicine, they have code length like we're
gonna go get some wings, which means like we're going
to to the.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Strip Club, right, hate that and I don't even eat
chicken no more. So that's another reason why I don't
go to the club because they have the best hot
wings y'all, Oh my god, the best wings.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
But yeah, no, like okay, I feel like there have
been times like once, like I dated like a basketball
player once and like he was playing like professional ball
but like national or whatever, and like I don't know.
One time we were talking and he was like, I
play ball, you work in the club, like it makes sense.
Speaker 4 (29:09):
And I was like huh, like what does that mean?
Speaker 3 (29:13):
Like why do you like me?
Speaker 4 (29:15):
Like that's not what you're trying to hear, so play.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
And then I dated this other dude that had like.
Speaker 4 (29:22):
Or has like a really well known like music platform
or whatever, and like like you know what, nig no
he he take record.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Like he has like that.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
Show on the radar, like the music platform where the
niggas come on and they do the freestyles or whatever.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Oh yeah, you posted you posted on him on your page,
did I? Well, not him, but you gave him a
shadow I started post on Instagram.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
I hope not. Oh yes, I saw.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
Oh my god, listen when I get in my research
band that's crazy.
Speaker 4 (30:01):
Yeah, oh well maybe about okay exactly, I'm.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Gonna beat some of that out, so they put yeah,
but yeah, And then I.
Speaker 3 (30:11):
Just found it interesting that like suddenly, like when he's
talking to these rappers and stuff like that, like the
topic of like dating strippers is coming up and like
stuff like that, and I'm like, huh, like and not
just that, like where I went to school is also
coming up, and like I think, like I think every
man wants to like date a stripper or at least
(30:32):
have the story of, like, oh I dated a stripper
back in my day because it just gives them like cold.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
Because in their mind it puts them at a level
of the men that they want to be like exactly.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Yeah, for sure, cultural like relevance or something.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
But like yeah, matter of fact, like I didn't like Nika,
shut up.
Speaker 3 (30:52):
No, Like it still doesn't work, like.
Speaker 4 (30:56):
But yeah, I think so.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
Yeah. But I'll say, like this particular dude, even though
I met him in the club, like and we've only
been dating for like five months or whatever, I made
very clear like I don't want to date like or whatever.
But he's been a gentleman. But this is the first
time that I've had a dude say like how long
are you gonna be in the club. It's like I
don't want you in the club, And like it makes
(31:21):
me think about like the last situations that I've had
where like those dudes were like okay with me being
in the club, and I'm wondering, like was it because
they didn't like me the same way that I like them,
and like like maybe like they knew it was like
a temporary thing or whatever, and like they didn't care enough.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
To like you know, yeah, the illusion that you gave
them prison, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:45):
And also dating dudes in the club, like you have
to like be clear, like who I am here is
not who I am like outside of here, Like I
like I'm a loser, like I read I go kayaking
with my dad like like I like, yeah, like we're
gonna be talking about like black them theory outside hearing,
(32:05):
like workers' rights not.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Like but that's a real thing though, because I don't
know if you remember this, but the Trina she was
saying how when she used to date these men, they
would want the rapper Trina. She was like that is
not me, Like that's part of me, but like who
I am at the court, you're gonna be highly disappointed, exactly.
Speaker 4 (32:24):
And also, wasn't Trina a dancer at one point?
Speaker 3 (32:26):
Like wasn't she a stripper once upon a time?
Speaker 2 (32:29):
I want to say yes, yeah, interested, I want to
say yeah, yeah, but I want to say also, most
well not this day and age rappers, but most rappers,
most feomale rappers were shippers, come from the industry.
Speaker 4 (32:44):
Eve dream Doll, she was like a bartender, but yeah,
like it was a Chinese kitty as well. It was
a little star tender.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
Yeah yeah, but.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
Yeah, but yeah, dating is like yeah, exactly, exactly, not
like you just have to remember, like if you're in
the club, you're like, hey, hell are you still here?
This is the fantasy? Or if they start to think something,
charge them for like something else, like snap them back
to reality. Yeah, because yeah, I don't feel like texting
nobody once I leave home, Like I don't why normal?
(33:23):
But yeah, there's not.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Has strippen like has it impact that your mental health?
Because I feel like, I mean, I want to say,
I feel like you got a good hit on your show.
It's like you're not like, I know you said that
you wanted to retire this year, but you also felt
like maybe you're not where you want.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
To be at.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
But I don't know, I feel like I just speaking
to you and get to know more about you, Like
I feel like your mental health hasn't really.
Speaker 4 (33:52):
Like yeah, I feel like it's I think again.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
I know, I think. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (34:00):
I come from like a privileged background, like you know,
I went to like a private college, Like you know,
this is.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
Kind of like survival work.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
But you know I could like just go and get
like a little like cause you really have to shrip?
Speaker 3 (34:17):
Do I really have to strip? Like no, no, I'm
gonna be honest, no, But the thought of like going
back to like a twenty dollars an hour job and
like getting like overworked and underpaid, I'm like, like I
definitely don't want to do that. I'll do it like again,
like my timeline is my timeline, Like if I have to,
(34:39):
I'll do it, or I'll probably do that and still
stay at the club. Yeah, But overall, like I think
in the beginning, when I was at the wrong clubs,
it was like I was feeling very incapable and I
was feeling like what the hell, what is going on?
My money is plateauing? Like it doesn't make sense, and
there was a lot of like comparison going on. But
(35:01):
I think when you zoom out and you're like, look
like you don't know who's doing what for how much
like inside the club and outside the club truly, Yeah,
and like the same way that like in the real world,
you don't know like what people have done or what
they haven't done to get to where they've been, Like
that's their journey and that's where they are. Like you are,
(35:24):
like your person, the way you look and stuff like
that is specific to you. Like that's just what it is.
And like also though, I think it's really important to
do things outside of the club that affirm who you are,
what your existence is, and like not.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
Associate so it doesn't affect your identity.
Speaker 3 (35:42):
Yeah, and like not to associate how much money or
how little money you made the night before with like
your value, like I've had I'm not I'm gonna be honest,
even the night that I made that little five thousand
plus or whatever, like I still was like this was
not enough is enough? Like so yeah, I think having
(36:05):
a community though, definitely helps, like because this is very
isolating work, Like when I'm coming home from work after
hours and stuff like that. It's just me. Most of
my friends were completely opposite schedules, like and I have
like lost friends throughout the process, even like my black
friend theorists, you know, scholar friends from college that they
just don't get it, like or they don't see that.
(36:29):
They still think it's like work done under the male gaze,
which like some of that is true, yes, but also
they don't realize that, like we do have agency in
this work, or at least I have agency in my work.
And I yeah, I choose what like I want to
pass and what doesn't pass, Like my boundaries are my boundaries?
(36:51):
Like yeah, so yeah, I think also like bro like moving, stretching,
like so much in mental health too, is like are
you showering? Are you eating?
Speaker 4 (36:59):
Are you yeah yourself like delf care, Yeah exactly, so
like if you're able or for me, I found that
that helps.
Speaker 3 (37:07):
Going on hot girl walks helps, like and just reminding
myself like there's a world outside of this and like
that's the reality of like work too, like your work,
like Tony Morrison said, like you go to work, you're
you so awoke.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
I love woke a woke girl. I won't see you
in there with your customers. Now do you know who
Tony Morrison.
Speaker 4 (37:32):
Is exactly like?
Speaker 3 (37:36):
But yeah, no, you go to work, you do what
you need to do, you come home like your work
is not your identity, Like it's safest that way, and
like you shouldn't make it your identity. Like I don't know.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
So where is it going to take you to leave?
Is it a good job once it comes your way?
Speaker 3 (37:51):
Yeah? Like I definitely want to. I mean okay, yeah
once by a time I was like I do not
want to work, No, damn nine to five. But like
at this point, like you know, but not know, like
fifty five thousand, like or even sixty thousand, Like I'll
do it, but I'll probably still be in the club.
I'm not gonna lie. It could no, but excuse me
(38:14):
a job with benefits because also, you know, strip club,
we don't have no benefits. And I know y'all want
to see us climb up and down the pole and
do all these crazy things and stuff like that, which
some of us are willing to do. But again, remember
this job does not cover healthcare, This job.
Speaker 4 (38:26):
Does not cover paid me.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
But any of that are you saving?
Speaker 3 (38:30):
Am I saving? Absolutely? I love a good brokerage account
like investing in stocks and bonds.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
And good for you, You're gonna be out real song.
Speaker 3 (38:41):
I feel it fingerscross, like yes, I mean yeah, I'm
even like I'm looking to change from sliding down the
stripper pole to sliding down a fired fireder pole, like
I'm not too big to get like a cute little
like civil service job. I mean probably I'm not a cop,
but no shade to the cops, but just probably not
(39:02):
a cop. Yeah, and funny enough. Actually, I think I
had a customer.
Speaker 4 (39:08):
That was a cop and he was like one of
the like I could count on my hand how many.
Speaker 3 (39:11):
Like unsafe like circumstances that I've been in, but like
that dude was actually very like bold and audacious with
like his like I did like a little vip room
with him in the hood clubs, and like immediately he
was like like very touchy and grabby and stuff like that.
I was just like, whoa, what is this, honey, And
he was like, I'm a cop, relaxed, It's okay, showed
(39:33):
me his badge and everything, and I was just like
I'm out of here, like you're scaring me one and
two bruh. Even if I was to say yes and
be down with whatever the fuck you got going on,
Like how is this like me versus you? Like, how
is this supposed to work? Yeah? Oh yeah, there's that,
but yeah, to get me out the club, yeah, a
(39:55):
good well paying job like that would help with benefits
or just I just.
Speaker 4 (40:00):
Get bold enough with like the money I've saved and
like just launch like whatever.
Speaker 3 (40:05):
It is that I want to do, whether that's like,
you know, a whole studio or like, you know, figure
out how to do this whole like media thing, maybe
a platform or a space for like dancers or all
the sex workers news related to like I don't know,
but off the top of my head, I feel like,
(40:28):
let's just secure a cute little nine to pod first
and then we can lend the rest.
Speaker 4 (40:32):
But exactly everything else is in motion though, like at
the same time.
Speaker 2 (40:38):
But I'm we had a conversation, So I'm gonna definitely
help you with the media aspect because I really want
you to know, take full charge of it and go
full thrown away because I feel like you can really
make an impact with you know, the things that you know,
the history with certain things, and like your personality and
things of that nature. So I'm excited for you. Hopefully
(40:59):
this would be the last.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
Yeah, I feel like I'm putting it out there and
that just like and.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
You're meeting people along the way that want to help
you win and help you in certain areas. So I
think it will be yeah, thank you. That means a lot,
of course, and last one not least. So it would
be your advice to give to a new dancer about
this environment if she wants to get into the club,
make some extra coins.
Speaker 4 (41:24):
Yes, I think one. No, not every night, it's going
to be good.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
Like if you think you have to like go in
or you get to go in there and sit pretty
and like just get paid, like that is not the case.
I think that is only the case for like white
dancers that look like very like you know, conventionally attractive,
like you know, and I mean truly like blond haired,
(41:51):
blue eyed, like yeah exactly. I think, figure out what
your strengths are, whether that truly is dancing or like
yapping or figure out maybe massages, like whatever the hell
your like bop is in the club, like just lean
(42:12):
into that. Find the right club for you as well,
Like if you feel like your money is looking the
same and you're not seeing like you know, there should
be like an increase in like your earnings.
Speaker 4 (42:23):
Over a period of time, track your numbers to like.
Speaker 3 (42:27):
I don't think it's smart to just like come home
and like not shot down in like a calendar or
something how much you've made. Yeah, Like so that that
way you could like look back in the year before
and be like, oh, this was a slow season last
week last year as well, Like this checks out. It's
not me, it's them. I personally think, bro, like take
(42:51):
a pole class, Like I don't think it's like know
how to do something on stage. Like there are some
girls that say, like just get on stage do a
little one to waste time. I know, Like I think
that is the one time you're like marketed like for
the rest of the club and like you do your
big one, especially in a place like New York where
like these girls don't do shit on the stage, Like
(43:13):
they don't perform, they don't dance or anything. You really
stand out and like, bro, get off the stage and
go to them customers and be like, did you see
my stage performance?
Speaker 4 (43:22):
Did you want to lead a love donation for my performance?
Speaker 3 (43:25):
And they will give you something like someone but like
you can make like an extra little something that way,
and you go on stage free point something, yes, ask
for high numbers and meets like get familiar with negotiating, Like, bro,
start at a thousand, goddamn, Like even if if it
(43:48):
sounds crazy, do that, Like start at a thousand if
they're like, oh, like that gives you insight to like
what they're looking to spend, and be like, oh, what
did you think? Like you think that I deserve like
and okay, they give you a number, throw another hundred
on there, like and they'll probably meet you like there,
(44:08):
that happened on Tuesday? What else? And like again, like
you are not how much or how little you money
the money you made the night before. That's not the
case in the club, that's not the case outside the club,
Like none of this is indicative of who you are,
and so that's just that. Yeah, dang, well, this is
(44:31):
really good.
Speaker 2 (44:32):
We've been in toat I knew it was gonna too.
Speaker 3 (44:36):
I cannot believe it's been in an hour forty six minutes,
Like that's crazy. I know, I know.
Speaker 2 (44:40):
I appreciate you for coming on because I was like
when we had an initial conversation, I was like, oh
my god, I wonder if she would come on the
show and just give her experience because I did have
an interview with a stripper many years ago when I
first started, So the conversations are completely different, which I
thoroughly appreciate when we have people come on the show
and they talk about the same subject at a different perspective.
(45:01):
So I really appreciate you for coming on.
Speaker 3 (45:04):
Thank you. I'm so glad you get a chance to
get some variety too, like the dancing experience.
Speaker 4 (45:10):
Like I think, yeah, we're not all a monolith, like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (45:16):
So much, but it's depending on like who you are,
where you come from, and like truly like what you're
comfortable with.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
Yeah, well, thank you so much. And to the listeners,
I really do hope that you enjoyed this week's episode.
And if you have any questions, comments of concerns, so
you want to say hey, girl, hey, please make sure
to email me at hello at the PSG podcast dot com.
And until next time, everyone, it's been okay, later awesome
(45:44):
you gonna say it?
Speaker 3 (45:44):
Bye, oh bye, it's been real.
Speaker 2 (45:48):
Awesome girls, awesome, y'all.
Speaker 3 (45:56):
Please.
Speaker 2 (46:03):
Pretty Private is a production of the Black eppec podcast network.
For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Don't forget
to subscribe and rate the show, and you can connect
with me on social media at pretty private podcasts
Host
Eboné Almon
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Ruthie's Table 4
For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.