February 14, 2024 • 9 mins
Rachel addresses head-on rumors that have begun to float around about her.
This is only the beginning.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
This is Rachel gos Rogue. Hey guys, this is Rachel
Savannah Levis, your host of Rachel Goes Rogue. There are
a few misconceptions that keep popping up that I just
wanted to clarify in today's episode. I'm here with one
(00:25):
of my iHeart producers and we're just gonna jump start
this discussion. Let's get into it first. People are claiming
that I would not be watching season eleven and fander
Pump Rules, which I did not say that. I said
that watching it would be a trigger for me, but
(00:47):
I have things in place to keep me emotionally regulated
as I watch it and process it with a therapist.
But I am watching the season because I am very
much still a focal point of their narrative, and I'm
not just going to bury my head in the sand
and like ignore everything that's going on. Like when people
(01:09):
are talking about me and saying my story for me,
I feel like I should have the ability to speak
for myself, and I'm doing it in a way that
is safer for my well being. I'm doing it in
a way that I'm able to articulate how I actually
feel and be vulnerable without being talked over by other people,
(01:34):
and I think that's the most authentic way I can
represent myself. So I'll continue watching and I'll continue podcasting.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Some people have also thrown around the phrase best friend
when it comes to you and Ariana. You've already talked
about yes before, but I want to know what did
you look at your relationship with Ariana.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Legg Okay, So Lisa mentioned the best friend saying saying
Tom wasn't thinking of shagging Arianna's best friend or whatever.
I think. For me, when people use the word best
friend to define Arianna and my friendship, I tend to
(02:19):
automatically get defensive with that because for me, I didn't
consider her a best friend and I didn't think that
she considered me a best friend, you know, Like that's
that's why I'm saying, like we weren't best friends, But
your level of friendship doesn't really determine how bad the
action is. Like, the action is the action, and it's
(02:44):
unacceptable no matter what the relationship is. But I also
acknowledge that maybe for Ariana she viewed me as a
best friend, even though my definition of a best friend
would be somebody that I'm calling often and like, you know,
talking to filling in details of my day, and we
(03:09):
didn't have that type of friendship. So when the term
best friend was being put out there, like, that's the
reason why I wanted to defend myself.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Do you feel like they weaponized that phrase towards you?
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Yeah, I feel like they painted more of a diabolical
picture with saying that we were best friends and it
was like that ultimate betrayal, which it still is an
ultimate betrayal honestly, because she trusted me as a friend
and I had a duty to her as a friend
(03:43):
who not overstepped this clear boundary, like, yes, I knew
that Tom and Arianna were in a relationship, yet I
acted on my impulses without consideration to how it would
affect her feeling and how it would emotionally damage her.
(04:05):
So I really am sorry for crossing that boundary and
violating our honest trust. As we talk about it more, too,
I feel like maybe I was getting defensive as a
way to cognitively distance myself because it is such a
difficult concept for me to wrap my brain around, like
(04:28):
how could I actually be capable of doing something like that,
betraying a friend like that? So I really do want
to take accountability for my actions.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I do wonder, though, what it feels like when other
cast members who have kind of been in similar situations
to you kind of negate what they did because they
say they weren't friends or it wasn't in a friend group. Right.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
For example, Lalla at the reunion, you know, when I
came to her saying, look, you don't have a leg
to stand on because you slept with James while we
were together. That was coming from a place of defending
myself because I felt like she was out of line
for criticizing me, and in turn, she said, we weren't friends.
(05:15):
I met you, and the moment I met you, I
hated you. And you know, it's like, okay, so are
you excusing your actions because we weren't friends. It's still
messed up. And I think for this situation with Arianna,
it is so messed up because we actually were friends.
But I enjoyed hanging out with her and I enjoyed
(05:37):
hanging out with Tom, and I feel like that's why
it got so messy, because I really did care about
both of them, even though I threw that friendship away
selfishly by putting my needs before hers.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
All Right, this one is a little bit random, but
I've been seeing this all over TikTok lately and I
wanted to know what is going on with the whole
pasta thing. It's not about the pasta. If it's not
about the pasta, what is it about, Rachel? Can you
tell me more about this pasta?
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Okay, yes, pasta is not codeword for any substances, it's not.
It really was about the pasta, you guys.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
So I was.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Working one night at Sir and Lala was there with
Logan and some friends, and I had my employee meal,
which was the penne siciliane with capers, pine nuts and olives. Delicious.
If you want to add a protein, I highly recommend
the shrimp Chef's Kiss. They don't have it on the
(06:56):
menu anymore, unfortunately. But at the time, that was the
pasta that I ordered, and I don't really remember it clearly.
I think I had a few bites and I had
to go run off to one of my tables and
Laila ate the rest of my pasta. So it became
like a bigger thing on season six of vander Pump
(07:17):
Rolls because James is trying to make the point that
it's not about the pasta. It's about you disrespecting my
girlfriend by eating her pasta and laughing about it, because
she's belittled me for years. And that was the point
that he was trying to make, that it's not about
the pasta, it's about your disrespect. But people thought like,
(07:39):
there's no way this is actually about pasta. They can't
be this passionate about someone eating someone else's pasta. So, yeah,
it's not code word for anything, guys. We can put
that rumor to bed now. So one of the other
misconceptions that I keep hearing is that I'm changing the
reason why I didn't go back to vandr pump rules.
(08:02):
First it was the money, then it was Ariana, then
it was my mental health. And can we just like
clear that up really quick. When you're making a life
decision like this, you are weighing every single pro and
every single con. There are multiple reasons why I didn't
go back. Come on, guys, I feel like you're picking
(08:23):
and choosing which ones I'm saying in the moment, like
I'm changing it to try to appease whoever. I just
want you to know that there are many reasons, and
I've been explaining them as we go on. Yeah, I
did want to know what type of money are we
(08:43):
talking here? Am I going to be able to financially
support myself for all the therapy that I will need
doing this show? But at the end of the day,
there's no amount of money that they could offer me
to go back and risk all of the work that
I have done on myself. There's no way I would
(09:06):
have any form of healthy relationships with any of the
cast members, So why would I go back to that environment.
It would be toxic any which way you look at it,
and it would further me from reality, which I'm trying
to get back to. So I just want to clear
(09:27):
that up once and for all.
This is Rachel gos Rogue. Hey guys, this is Rachel
Savannah Levis, your host of Rachel Goes Rogue. There are
a few misconceptions that keep popping up that I just
wanted to clarify in today's episode. I'm here with one
(00:25):
of my iHeart producers and we're just gonna jump start
this discussion. Let's get into it first. People are claiming
that I would not be watching season eleven and fander
Pump Rules, which I did not say that. I said
that watching it would be a trigger for me, but
(00:47):
I have things in place to keep me emotionally regulated
as I watch it and process it with a therapist.
But I am watching the season because I am very
much still a focal point of their narrative, and I'm
not just going to bury my head in the sand
and like ignore everything that's going on. Like when people
(01:09):
are talking about me and saying my story for me,
I feel like I should have the ability to speak
for myself, and I'm doing it in a way that
is safer for my well being. I'm doing it in
a way that I'm able to articulate how I actually
feel and be vulnerable without being talked over by other people,
(01:34):
and I think that's the most authentic way I can
represent myself. So I'll continue watching and I'll continue podcasting.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Some people have also thrown around the phrase best friend
when it comes to you and Ariana. You've already talked
about yes before, but I want to know what did
you look at your relationship with Ariana.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Legg Okay, So Lisa mentioned the best friend saying saying
Tom wasn't thinking of shagging Arianna's best friend or whatever.
I think. For me, when people use the word best
friend to define Arianna and my friendship, I tend to
(02:19):
automatically get defensive with that because for me, I didn't
consider her a best friend and I didn't think that
she considered me a best friend, you know, Like that's
that's why I'm saying, like we weren't best friends, But
your level of friendship doesn't really determine how bad the
action is. Like, the action is the action, and it's
(02:44):
unacceptable no matter what the relationship is. But I also
acknowledge that maybe for Ariana she viewed me as a
best friend, even though my definition of a best friend
would be somebody that I'm calling often and like, you know,
talking to filling in details of my day, and we
(03:09):
didn't have that type of friendship. So when the term
best friend was being put out there, like, that's the
reason why I wanted to defend myself.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Do you feel like they weaponized that phrase towards you?
Speaker 1 (03:23):
Yeah, I feel like they painted more of a diabolical
picture with saying that we were best friends and it
was like that ultimate betrayal, which it still is an
ultimate betrayal honestly, because she trusted me as a friend
and I had a duty to her as a friend
(03:43):
who not overstepped this clear boundary, like, yes, I knew
that Tom and Arianna were in a relationship, yet I
acted on my impulses without consideration to how it would
affect her feeling and how it would emotionally damage her.
(04:05):
So I really am sorry for crossing that boundary and
violating our honest trust. As we talk about it more, too,
I feel like maybe I was getting defensive as a
way to cognitively distance myself because it is such a
difficult concept for me to wrap my brain around, like
(04:28):
how could I actually be capable of doing something like that,
betraying a friend like that? So I really do want
to take accountability for my actions.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I do wonder, though, what it feels like when other
cast members who have kind of been in similar situations
to you kind of negate what they did because they
say they weren't friends or it wasn't in a friend group. Right.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
For example, Lalla at the reunion, you know, when I
came to her saying, look, you don't have a leg
to stand on because you slept with James while we
were together. That was coming from a place of defending
myself because I felt like she was out of line
for criticizing me, and in turn, she said, we weren't friends.
(05:15):
I met you, and the moment I met you, I
hated you. And you know, it's like, okay, so are
you excusing your actions because we weren't friends. It's still
messed up. And I think for this situation with Arianna,
it is so messed up because we actually were friends.
But I enjoyed hanging out with her and I enjoyed
(05:37):
hanging out with Tom, and I feel like that's why
it got so messy, because I really did care about
both of them, even though I threw that friendship away
selfishly by putting my needs before hers.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
All Right, this one is a little bit random, but
I've been seeing this all over TikTok lately and I
wanted to know what is going on with the whole
pasta thing. It's not about the pasta. If it's not
about the pasta, what is it about, Rachel? Can you
tell me more about this pasta?
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Okay, yes, pasta is not codeword for any substances, it's not.
It really was about the pasta, you guys.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
So I was.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
Working one night at Sir and Lala was there with
Logan and some friends, and I had my employee meal,
which was the penne siciliane with capers, pine nuts and olives. Delicious.
If you want to add a protein, I highly recommend
the shrimp Chef's Kiss. They don't have it on the
(06:56):
menu anymore, unfortunately. But at the time, that was the
pasta that I ordered, and I don't really remember it clearly.
I think I had a few bites and I had
to go run off to one of my tables and
Laila ate the rest of my pasta. So it became
like a bigger thing on season six of vander Pump
(07:17):
Rolls because James is trying to make the point that
it's not about the pasta. It's about you disrespecting my
girlfriend by eating her pasta and laughing about it, because
she's belittled me for years. And that was the point
that he was trying to make, that it's not about
the pasta, it's about your disrespect. But people thought like,
(07:39):
there's no way this is actually about pasta. They can't
be this passionate about someone eating someone else's pasta. So, yeah,
it's not code word for anything, guys. We can put
that rumor to bed now. So one of the other
misconceptions that I keep hearing is that I'm changing the
reason why I didn't go back to vandr pump rules.
(08:02):
First it was the money, then it was Ariana, then
it was my mental health. And can we just like
clear that up really quick. When you're making a life
decision like this, you are weighing every single pro and
every single con. There are multiple reasons why I didn't
go back. Come on, guys, I feel like you're picking
(08:23):
and choosing which ones I'm saying in the moment, like
I'm changing it to try to appease whoever. I just
want you to know that there are many reasons, and
I've been explaining them as we go on. Yeah, I
did want to know what type of money are we
(08:43):
talking here? Am I going to be able to financially
support myself for all the therapy that I will need
doing this show? But at the end of the day,
there's no amount of money that they could offer me
to go back and risk all of the work that
I have done on myself. There's no way I would
(09:06):
have any form of healthy relationships with any of the
cast members, So why would I go back to that environment.
It would be toxic any which way you look at it,
and it would further me from reality, which I'm trying
to get back to. So I just want to clear
(09:27):
that up once and for all.
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