Welcome to the Twenty Fourth episode of Rapaport's Reality! Starring Kebe & Michael Rapaport. This is the reality television podcast that the whole reality world has been waiting for. The Rapaport's are here to discuss: Summer Loving being over, spending so much time together, Michael tearing his Meniscus, Kebe's iPad conking out & ordering a new one, JLO's Ass Mirror Selfie, watching Chimp Crazy & My Worst Ex Ever, Life Lock & a whole lotta mo'! This episode is not to be missed!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Jennifer Lopez did an ass mirror selfie just for the
fun and joy and the breakup and divorce of doing
the ass mirror selfie.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
And like you said, we need to get a hold
of her.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
We do because she is so much better than an
ass mirror selfie. The only time that's like pressing the
nuclear button. The only time Jennifer Lopez should post a
picture of her ass is for charity, Yes, like for PEDA,
(00:41):
save the animals, fight cancer, or stop the war.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Peace.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
If we get to the point where there's a nuclear
a war and there's potential of a nuclear war, Jennifer.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Lopez could literally.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Post some ass selfies to go stop guys, and people go, oh,
this must be serious.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
I mean, I'm agreeing with you.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Hoktua. Welcome to Rapaport's Reality.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Hi. I'm Keevy Rappaport.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
My name is Michael Rapaport. Mister Rapaport. This is our podcast.
This is the world's most important inside scoop popular culture,
reality and of course all things relationship of the Rapaport's podcast.
(01:39):
There's only one podcast that discusses the minutia of the
relationship that Kibi and I share. There's only one, and
there's many. I mean there is thousands. I wonder, is
it hundred millions of podcasts At this point, it's got
to be millions.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Millions, you think, I mean, I don't know. Yeah, there
might be all a million, close to a million podcasts.
I mean everyone has one.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Everybody's got a podcast, but there's nothing like our podcast,
Rapaports Reality.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Rapaport's Reality Summer. Love in Summer is over.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Ooh, and I am so happy about it.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Why are you happy?
Speaker 3 (02:20):
I can drop the anxiety of the heat. It's because
yesterday I went for a walk and it was wonderful.
I text you and I said, it is gorgeous out.
It hadn't breathe down the fifth Avenue. I was like, oh,
this is so nice, I can breathe.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
That was an amaglamation or because that was shocking that
literally the day after Labor Day, which is supposed to
be the end of the technical summer, it was cooled
down in anywork.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
But don't get your hopes, I.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Know, because it usually usually it's still hot. Today it's
going to be a little warm. But yeah, I like
when I have to wear my fall clothes, you know,
I really like fall dressing. So I'm excited. I know
it's not going to stay that way the whole month
of September, Yes, but I'm looking forward to the fall.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
This was the first summer that we spent the majority
of the time doing nothing except for staring into each
other's eyes while eating, staring into each other's eyes, and podcasting.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Yeah, I mean, this was a chill summer.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
No, it's great. It was chill the second half of
the summer August, I would.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Say, but July too, like if we if we broke
out the numbers.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
But I mean when I think of this summer, when
I go back into my mind's memory, I just think
about staring at each other.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
You're looking at me like it wasn't fun.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
No, it was my goal.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
That was truly my goal. I really could. We've never
had that.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
It was.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
It was really grant to me that we two take
a break. But you're looking at me like it was.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Dorch No, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
I needed that for you.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
And I'm glad we chilled.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
I'm glad we got to get hours, hours and hours
and hours of just staring quietly with some light jazz
music in the background.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Shut up.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Wasn't that so the fun memory like just staring, like
put on some light, or sometimes it just go we
don't even need the light jazz music. We'll just stare
and I'm like, babe. And sometimes you're like, is this enough?
And I'm like, no, babe, let me stare at your
eyes for another another few hours.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
I had a goal that we would stay and we
would be in our house and we would relax and
chill and we'll do nothing because you needed to take
a break. It was too much. We've had a lot
going on and we needed this summer to just be
in one place.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Now.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
I just want to I just want to ask you.
We could keep this or not keep this in the podcast?
Just a mental note, can you return the iPad the
next iPad?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
I know what you're gonna ask me, and no, absolutely not.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Let's just tell no. You know what I was it
gonna say that. Here, here's the thing. Let's tell people.
So I have a torn meniscus. I tore my meniscus.
In between longingly, lovingly staring into each other's eyes. You
had me doing chores around the house, and one day
I was doing chores around the house.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
You weren't doing No, let's tell the no I was.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Cleaning up when I know I was.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
I have to be honest.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
You have to be honest, babe. You weren't cianing up.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
You were covering the furniture in the backyard furniture. You
were covering putting the cover back on the backyard sofa.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
And while the five steps.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
There's three steps going back on the deck, and you
missed the step.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
I missed the step, and I immediately went, oh shit.
Now I did not know I tore my miniscus. It
went away, YadA, YadA, YadA. I went for one of
my power jogs, my famous power jogs. And since that
power job, about two weeks ago, my mandy has been sore, painful,
went to the doctor, went to the doctor, and sure
(05:58):
enough I knew I had tornscus. Now you guys are
probably going, oh no, oh, no oh, you tore your meniscus.
This is the lowest form of a thing you could
tear in your knee. I tore my other meniscus, my
left meniscus, infamously paying basketball. I wish I had everybody's like,
had you tear your meniscus?
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Because usually it's a story. No, Usually there's a story
and Also, the meniscus tear is usually a lateral move,
like it's a side move.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
You like this.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
If I showed you how I did it, it was
like that going down a stair, I stepped this.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
I'll show you. I it was an awkward It wasn't
just forward stair.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
It was to the right, I'm telling you, because you
were going to the box, yes, to the storage bus.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Anyway, the other day, Kibi your iPad that you've had
for probably like ten years, right.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Yeah, more than ten years, because I only use my iPad.
I have a little mini one to read. That's how
I read.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
We're streaming shows when.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
We travel on the plane. I usually look at Netflix
on on the plane on my iPad, or that I read.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
You've had that puppy for a long a long time,
that puppy.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Cock and it cocked out. I was plugging it in
and it's for some reason. I plug it in and
then the charging number would go backwards, so weird.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
And it was an iPad three that's old, I mean old,
old like.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
And I don't even know what size it is because
I took the tape measure out to buy a new one.
And it's not even as it's like ten ten point,
it's like really small anyway. So I said to you,
I'm gonna order a new iPad, and this is what
you do, by the way, notoriously every time I say
I'm gonna buy it, and I tried to be mindful
about spending when it doesn't come to clothes or shoes.
(07:40):
I say I'm going to get a new iPad, and
I say it kind of like I'm going to Now
I'm going to be like, I think I need a
new iPad, and then I wait for you to say, yeah,
go ahead, babe, and you say me too, which makes
me say, okay, I'm not going to get one, because
then we start looking to see how much they are
and what they're like these days, and then it becomes
like a game. We both start looking at our phone
(08:01):
to order an.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
iPad, and I go, okay, I'm gonna I'm I'm.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Doing Somethow you get to ordering one first?
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Well, the reason why I decided I wanted an iPad
is because when I was at my fantasy football draft,
the rapper Jaw.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Rule right, you're in Atlanta.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
I was in Atlanta from my fantasy football draft, which
we don't discuss on this show.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
But the rapper jow Rule Murder Yeah jo Rule.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
I was on my laptop and jaw Rule was on
what seemed like a new iPad with the keyboard, and
I was like, yo, what is it. He's like, Yo,
it's an iPad blah blah blah blah bah and he
was like, yeah, I bring it everywhere.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
I don't have to bring a laptop.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
I was like, oh shit, And I had my, you know,
my laptop, and so I was like, I want to
have one of those. So when I travel, you know,
I have to bring my my laptop.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Right.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
So, like like jaw Rule, no disrespect to fifty cent,
I was like, yo, I want to copy Joe Rule
and get an iPad. So when you said you're a
getting iPad, was like, I was thinking about getting iPad too.
So I got on the damn computer. I got on
my phone and I ordered that iPad.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
And as I'm looking at the same time and I
was like, wow, keyboard's cool. And you were like, you
don't need a keyboard, you could just get the right
I'm like, no, if you're getting a keyboard, I'm getting
one because they look really cool and it also is
a cover at the same time.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
And you could like do emails on that.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
Yeah, it's very cool so that I don't have to
drag my computer back and forth everywhere.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Because what I learned about an iPad is an iPad
is essentially like a giant iPhone totally.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
I didn't know that.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Yeah. I was like, there's an iPad air and there's
like an eye pair of pro and I was like, wow,
you should do the pro because what does that do free?
I don't know. It seems like it's fancier and more expensive.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Yeah, so there's always like, oh, and you could store this.
I'm like, what is this shit?
Speaker 3 (09:42):
It's a lot of storage. There's a lot of storage. Nonetheless,
you're on your phone a lot. So you're in there
and you're like, boop, I got mine, and I seem
to be having a lot of trouble ordering it on
the Apple Store.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
And I'm doing mine too.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
And then after I go I got mine, ha hahaha,
Mine's coming tomorrow. At ten thirty am, I get a
text from Visa or MasterCard or City Bank or wherever
you get the credit card and it says declined and
then I got to call them for twenty minutes you know,
full transparency. This is on a Sunday. I don't like
calling these people on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. I certainly
(10:19):
don't want to call them on a Sunday. But I'm like,
I need my fucking iPad because it's coming at ten
thirty the next day.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
Meanwhile, I'm tolling away on the site trying to order mine, going,
I don't know how to do this. I'm figuring it out.
But I'm figuring it out, and you go, babe, I'll
help you, okay.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Meanwhile I'm on the phone with the credit card company.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Meanwhile I'm getting on the app for the credit card company,
checking to see I'm like using face recognition because I
have all the access to our finances, and I'm like
doing it the right way, going, I could figure it
out this way.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Push comes to shove. I get off the phone with
the credit card company. They say, you're all good, You're cleared,
your card is good. So I reorder an iPad. But babe, wait,
I just blocked my fucking order. I know, but wait,
I just have to tell you.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
As you're talking to the lady, the lady is going
through the list of the spending and asking a question,
and I.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
I can't go fifty things now. She said, did you
spend five dollars at A seven eleven. I'm like, yes, no, but.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
I hear her distinctly say did you charge three thousand
dollars at the Apple Store? And you go yes, no,
I mean yes no. I told her yes, and I say,
yes you did, tell her yes you did. And somehow
I think this gets misconstrued as a no yes, and
I see it, I don't see it actually on the thing,
(11:33):
and then I see it, and then I don't know.
Somehow someway cut.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
To the next day, four fucking iPads show up, not
just for me, like because the charge went through, the
charge didn't go through.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
I get mine, and then three more come for me.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Three more iPads come for me, of all different shapes, sizes, colors.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
All of the sudden, you're not Michael Rapaport, You're Micra Rapaport.
You get an iPad, and you get an ipady. You
get up.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
But the VST this is in the credit card company
is not calling to check why are you working?
Speaker 3 (12:04):
We have fourteen thousand dollars that should.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Be when they flag it, like, what's going on here?
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Why are you ordering four iPads, like that's when I
want them to call.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Oh, no, the delivery Are things shut down for like
a month and a half for some reason? We could
use our card.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Bags of iPads show up at the house literally bags literally,
and the credit card company's not asking is there fraud?
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Nothing?
Speaker 1 (12:26):
So now what I wanted to ask you, because I
have a broken graft, is will you take those additional
iPads that need to be returned?
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Because no one needs four eyepads?
Speaker 3 (12:41):
So now I have to walk down.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Tippled I get that surgery tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
I have to take a carry these bags.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
You just said the weather's nice and you like to dress.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
No, I can't carry. I have to bring a cart
that I literally have to bring the car.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Did you not just say, I mean it's still nice
out you could put on a nice outfit.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
It's I'm gonna have to take a cab because it's.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Not that far away. It's Madison Avenue, it's New York City.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
I'll do it. Of course I can't say no, I
have to do it. But what am I going to
look like? By the way, returning that many eyes?
Speaker 1 (13:09):
I was talking about that too, That looks like you
do like you stole them ships.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Anyway, the fact of the matter is is that we
have four iPads, we have a torn meniscus.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Am I supposed to be Nurse Ratchet to help you
with this injury?
Speaker 2 (13:33):
What's it? What's morning?
Speaker 3 (13:34):
What's the recovery look like for this Tomorrow?
Speaker 2 (13:37):
A boom boom boom.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
After the surgery Friday, I'll be a little bit. Uh,
I think I'm out of it, and then Saturday boom,
You're you're at physical therapy.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Okay, So I'm gonna be until I'll remember that you
said that. Okay, Yeah, Like I don't want like you're
ringing a bell on Sunday? Can you do? You know
what I mean?
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Lemonade? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Anyway, there's some great, great programs before we get to
the programs, and I again, I feel like, not only
is this the rapper Ports reality podcast where we discuss
all things popular culture, all things reality TV, and of
course all things US, I feel like somehow and it
should also be called en j Lo.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Yeah, I know, every fucking.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
She's probably the most consistently discussed person on this podcast
beside us US.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Yeah, I know, we gotta we somehow got to get
a hold of her.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
You know, because she's just we need to get a
hold of her. We do.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
She needs to have somebody go yo, you don't let
Megan the Stallion let this that, and the third influencer
even let Sydney Sweeney let Cardi b Yeah, let this
rapper this height hot that hot chick.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Jennifer Lopez did an ass mirror selfie just for the fun,
enjoy and the breakup and divorce of doing the ass
mirror selfie.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
And like you said, we need to get a hold
of her.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
We do, because she is so much better than an
ass mirror selfie. The only time that's like pressing the
nuclear button. The only time Jennifer Lopez should post a
picture of her ass is for charity, Yes, like for Pita,
(15:42):
save the animals, fight cancer, or stop the war. If
we get to the point where there's a nuclear a
war and there's potential of a nuclear war, Jennifer Lopez
could literally post some ass selfies to go stop guy,
and people go, oh, this must be serious.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
I mean I'm agreeing with you, or she could you know.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
How God's this is asses greatest gifts, not to say
she's got the greatest ass of all time. That's debatable.
That's for another podcast. But as far as making the
ass popular culture, cross pollinating from black white Puerto.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Rican, she made. She made asses mainstream.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Yes, she made it. Okay for Kim Kardashian and the
Kardashian family to have their asses. She needs to know
that and have confidence in it. She busted out and
forgot it. She forgot she had to show that ass
in a series of slides. Let's say that though she
posted her ass in a series of Instagram slides, so
I think she or that. We don't, but she slid
(16:49):
it in there as if we weren't going to notice.
But she also put a T shirt in there that
said she's in bloom and unbothered, out of reach and
at peace.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
No you're not.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
If you had to put that on a T shirt
in your posts, you are not at peace and you're bothered. No,
my friend, you are not, and I want you to be.
I want you to be, and you're not. And you
know what you are above this and beyond you really
are and I want you to be.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Did putin say he was going to do something and
that's why you posted the ass, Alfie.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
That ass is special.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
That's a special ass and it has special meaning. Everybody
on the internet is posting pictures of their ass, you
shouldn't be. No, I don't think she's ever posted a
picture of her ass ever in all these years.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
She keeps that thing like it's like I locked up
in a ball.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
It was a desperate move. I think you're right, it's
too desperate and she's she's beyond that.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Who's around her?
Speaker 3 (17:50):
I don't know. Somebody should tell her that ass should
be kept on lock.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
I'm just saying, like, if it's for charity and you know,
giving money to you know, people in need, feed the animals,
if there's elephants in a zoo that are starving, or monkeys,
which brings us to Crazy Chimp. Holy shit. There is
an HBO Max. I believe it's just called Max now.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Yeah, is it not HBO Now it's gone. It's called
Max now. I don't know why, but it's called Max
HBO Maybe because HBO and Cinemax merged and now it's
called Max. But on the it was HBO Max and
now it's just called Max.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
There is a fantastic four part documentary called Crazy Chimp
created by the maker of Tiger with a woman. It's
another it's another lunatic who loves their animals. She she
loves her monkeys, her chimps, her spider monkeys. She's literally
(18:55):
crazier than all the Real Housewives of Orange. If you
took up there crazy, put it in a pot. She's
fucking nuttier than all them. And it follows her follows
her story, follows her struggle.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
When Peter finds out that the monkeys.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
To the famous monkey Tnka that was an actor, an
actor child after gorilla. I think it's a gorilla, right,
is a gorilla or a chimp? A chimp, chimpanzee? So cute,
tonk Oh, he's so cute.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
And Pete is coming because they have like seventy monkeys
and they're all in cages because, as everybody knows infamously, sadly,
it's all fun and games until the monkey's seven or eight.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Then the monkey, even though it loves you seven or.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Eight, sick of being in a freaking cage.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
It's sick of being in a cage.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
And its strength, just if it's hugging you, kissing you
can be deathly. Yeah, it doesn't have to attack, It
can rip your fucking garm off.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
Yeah, well it attacks when it eats your face.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
And this monkey documents that, just like Tiger King documents
when these animals go crazy. And this woman whose name
I'm forgetting, is fascinating. She wears wigs, she gets lip
injecsins and she shows it, which is has nothing to
do with monkeys. But you're like, I was like, what
the fuck?
Speaker 3 (20:10):
I mean, this documentary is so fantastic and so well done.
We don't want to give too much away because this
is a mussy I mean, you gotta watch. This Thing's excellent.
It's excellent. You know the great thing about a documentary
when it's done well no matter what the story is.
And we say this over and over again about storytelling,
when the characters that we're watching are so lovable no
(20:34):
matter what the.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Story is, and they have a point of view, the
point of view, and they show the point of view,
they show.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Well what I'm what I'm getting at is that this
woman her love of the animals. I mean, when this
woman says, I love these animals more than I love
my own children, and she says that, and you're like, ill,
But then you kind of understand when I was saying
her mental health issues are such that she has placed
them in this chimp, this particular chimp. You understand it.
(21:02):
You walk away kind of understanding it. Lit empathy for her.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
And then when she cuts to her son, who's like
probably twenty five, and he says, yes.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
He empathizes with his mom, or sympathizes with her at
the end and.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
He says, yes, she loves these animals, and.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
He's like, actually, okay with it. You kind of like
your heart bleeds for all of them, and then you
actually kind of go like, fuck you, Peter, leave her alone,
do you know what I mean? Like it's weird.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
They take her monkeys.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Yeah, and that's the least of it. She's a trip.
She's fascinating. I can't wait till.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
This last episode.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
There's four episodes on Max formerly known as HBO. Now
I guess it's Max HBO whatever it is.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
But there are.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Riveting, captivating, funny wack crazy moments.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Cooky, the way it shot, they shoot it perfectly.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
It's beautifully shot, by the way, actually, and.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
They also like shoot her like a crazy person, but
with love, they.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Love with compassion. Yeah, they show how nutty she is
and this whole hard No, it's not hard. It's not hard, no,
but it's it's really good. And we give it a
four monkey paws up or five? Do you give four
or five? I say five?
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Well, I mean four out of five.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
I mean chimpanzees have five, Okay, so we give.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Five paws up, five monkey paws up. It's fantastic, beautiful.
The other thing, the other show that we watched, oh
(22:37):
boy in between staring longingly and lovingly into each other's eyes.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Now this is a more of a dark turn.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Yeah, it is dark. This is dark. We pounded through
these because we were humanity is I mean, if you
can have compassion for crazy people who want to keep
exotic animals in their basements, you cannot understand why people
have get involved with these people they fall in love
(23:07):
with and then call them my worst ex ever. Because
there's a show on Netflix called My Worst ex Ever.
And you will be astounded at the red flags that
walk into your life that you ignore.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
And it's not funny.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
We're not making funny, man, it's terrifying.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
This show is about worst exes ever. And there's four episodes,
so there four, there's four.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Watch four.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
We watched three three okay, and I heard the fourth
one wasn't as good. But these are about people that women.
These are regular women.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
There was one man, which one the man with the
Asian wife and the mother. Oh my gosh, that was terrifying,
that poor man. These are sick of The first girl,
the black girl with the guy. But Jerry and Jerry, Jerry.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
She's there's a there's a woman. She's got basically a
black chick.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
No, I'm talking about the black the first one, the
black the white dude, the good looking kind of black dude.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
And then I was like, you you were talking for?
Speaker 3 (24:09):
I called, I called Donnie, and I was like, remember
the dude after I first broke up with Mike when
I was young, He kind of looked like that dude
right like I couldn't I mean, he wasn't like that.
But I'm saying, yo, you could get caught up in
some good looking white dude with some long hair in
the early nineties and be like, you know, it could
be almost dead. It could happen. No, it's really really terrifying.
(24:32):
And then you realize women are in danger. And when
you call the police and be like, okay, this guy,
you know it's in danger, and then police ignore it
and then they next thing, you know, he's locked up
some other chick in her own apartment for a week.
It's not it's crazy out there, it's insane. It's like insane,
you got It's like the second episode really scared the
(24:56):
shit out of me. He had her in jail for
one hundred and seventy two days or something like that.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
I think it was two hundred something two days.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
This is insane.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
This guy, guy named Jerry. This is a New York story.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
And this woman regular woman, let's just say a black
woman because I think she was Indian or guy, yes,
and but she kind of looked whatever is this nice
looking woman from a nice family, trying to live her life,
hard working, She starts dating a guy.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
She went into banking, she got her own restaurant. She
was hard working, single mom and didn't want to date anybody.
And then Jerry, the fake cop, fake cop, land cop detective,
he said.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
And he turns out Jerry's married, and the wife calls
our lead.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Woman and Jerry won't leave.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
And the next thing, you know, while she's trying to
break up, you know, he abuses her.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
And the next thing, you know, somehow, some way.
Speaker 3 (25:50):
He sets her up.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
He sets her up because she calls the cops, the
real cops on Jerry, the fake cop, and says, this
man abused me physically and sexually, and he's about to
go to jail. And he sets her up somehow because
he understands the system and the loopholes in the system,
and the loopholes in the system of New York and
how they're different from the loopholes in the system of
(26:12):
Nassau County. And he sets her up as being impersonating
a cop herself and robbing people.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
And she's in fucking jail, I.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
Mean, the ultimate guest litter lighter guests let the shit
out of her.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
And she can't get out of jail. And now like,
what the fuck is going on here? And you go,
this could happen to anybody, I mean anybody.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
It shows you that anybody can accuse you of anything
at any time.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
Now, I'm not going to go into details, but there's
a person in our family who just the other day
called us and was saying that she was in fear
that she had been bank frauded, and she was in
fear that her credit and her social security had been stolen.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
Yeah, because the person said, check your Amazon account, did
you purchase laptop?
Speaker 1 (27:00):
A person called, let's just say Boots, our friend Boots
and our friend Boots. I don't know if she was
caught vulnerable, caught slipping, not paying attention, and she almost
she almost got she she was in.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
The middle of getting scammed.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Yea, all her shit, Yeah, because she actually went to
her Amazon and the person who said they were a
federal person on the phone said, look at your Amazon.
I think you're trafficking money because you bought something on
Amazon that computer. And that's I don't know. It was
a long, horrible story.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
But he kept transferring her and transferred. They had a
whole thing. He's transit to his it's probably to his cousin.
The beauty of that was we got this gentleman.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
I had to do is get the number that she
gave me and reverse search it on Google. And then
all he did was calling harassm.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
I called him and I'm gonna and I'm going to
continue to call in harass them.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
And I said, you motherfucker, Yeah, don't you fuck.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
And I didn't say any names, I said, and I
just started harassing here.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
That was funny harassment. We're very immature for doing that
babe that we're.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
No, we're not.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
I mean, no, we're not, because it's really scary that
our friend Boots even gave this person any time.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
The bottom line is well.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Because she's an older, sweet person and very vulnerable, one.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Hundred percent it happened.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
I mean, I have another person in my business who
just got bank frauded, I know, and this is a
regular person from a bank in Beverly Hills.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
You know.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
It's so messed up about that. There's something that you
could have LifeLock, where you have to pay to lock
up your entire life. So these fricking animals.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Don't like I like them not cursing.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
I'm trying really hard. It's very difficult. But I realized
I listened back, it sounds really awful. And also I
was listening to some ex you know, Twitter group spaces thing,
and there's a bunch of intellectual people on there, and
there was somebody very smart that was like F this
and F that, and I was it was really bothering me.
I was like, why is he saying that for so much? Anyway,
So I'm really trying for the podcast or in general
(29:03):
just for myself. I was like, I'm a lady.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Yeah, I gotta try to curb it all.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
Alsom is just so.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
I mean, I feel like it separates me from the
pack though, I mean I know it me too.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
I feel it feels so good. It just gets like
a lot out. There's no other word like it. But anyway,
the fact that we have to really pay to think
about LifeLock, that we have to like And.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Let's say you get caught up with a guy like
Jerry the cop from what's the name of the show.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
Worst ex Ever?
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Or let's say like our friend Boots, if somehow, some
way you're paying how much is LifeLock.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
LifeLock or not?
Speaker 3 (29:41):
But I'm just saying, you know, it's like nineteen ninety nine,
there's six ninety nine whatever you can do.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Say you pay nineteen ninety nine a month, right, and
somehow one of these scamming f words, Yeah, scams you right?
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Do you get to sue LifeLock? No? No is LifeLock? Response,
I don't even I.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
Don't even know LifeLock is like really life. You know,
Like I was running with the white last night after
Boots got you know, it was freaked out. I looked
into LifeLock myself and then I thought, how secure is LifeLock?
Speaker 1 (30:11):
And also, I guarantee you when you're signing up and
paying your nineteen ninety nine a month for LifeLock, which
we're not promoting.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
No, I'm not, and I'm not sure nothing quote me
on the nineteen ninety nine because I'm not sure.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Eleven nine night, I guarantee your signing away your rights
that if LifeLock somehow gets scammed and you're paying, you
can't sue lifelong right exactly.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
I'm sure it makes it easier.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Again, we've just promoted the shit out of LifeLock, right,
LifeLock should be promoting us, right, instead of us promoting them.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
Listen, folks, the bottom line is nothing safe.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
The bottom line is if don't answer calls from unknown numbers.
If anyone calls you and says they're from a bank,
from Amazon, from Instagram, from TikTok, from X, say oh okay, Noah,
or okay Jennifer, or okay, mister Smith, what's your number?
Let me call you call you back and start asking
(31:03):
them the questions.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Because here's the thing. Now, you know that AI can
impersonate you, So I could get a phone call from
what would be your phone number and say, yo, babe,
I'm still good to train.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
Can you come pick me up?
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Or wait if you fell for that, babe, And I'm saying, they.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Can say your name. So you and I we need
like a code name we can say. We can't say
the code right now in a podcast.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Hold on, I want to come up with a code.
The code should be what.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
Pick me up some tlenty?
Speaker 2 (31:39):
That's not bad.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Yeah, I was gonna go with something more crash, but
that's good. So if you're ever getting a weird phone call,
you're going to say to me, babe, what's the code?
And I'm gonna say, pick me up some tlenty. Now,
I know that millions of people listen to this podcast,
and I'm assuming that none of our loyal, loving fans.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
Would turn on us give it away. They wouldn't, They.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Wouldn't turn this over to a scammer.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Now say a if you ai Michael Rappaport's voice, AI,
pick me up some tlenty? Right, all right, that's a
good code. Pick me That seems like I might forget that.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Though, babe.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
As much as you love tlenty ice cream.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
We're just getting We're just so practice again. So you're
gonna say to.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Me, what hey, babe, pick me up some tlenty.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
No, you gotta say, babe, what's the code? Oh babe,
what's the code?
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Pick me up some tlenty? That's the code, all right,
I gotta get that in my brain. Pick me up
some tlenty? Yeah, okay, okay, fair enough.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
I mean you would have to ask me the same thing, babe.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Okay, you sound this doesn't sound like you. Baby, sounds
a little weird. What's our personal code?
Speaker 3 (32:55):
Pick me up some tilenty?
Speaker 2 (32:58):
All right? So now they can ai you too, right, exactly?
Speaker 4 (33:01):
All right?
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Well, maybe we're doing a fake code to throw them off.
That's not our code word. Maybe we know we're going
to be scammed anyway, Yo. The bottom line is again,
if you gotta just I don't answer on normal phone.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Talk dog world out there, guys, a.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
Dog dog and it's a scammer. Scam world, yes, really
scamming motherfuckers.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
But it is true.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
I did get the scammer's number and I have been
harassing him.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
Well, we're fans of crank calling. So from the day
we met, when we were young kids, we liked to
crank call.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
Don't tell the story when we crank called Robert de Niro,
I think we did. Okay, we'll save that again. We'll
tell it again for another podcast. The other thing I
(33:52):
wanted to ask you is, I just saw this morning
on Instagram. I don't know if you saw this, baby,
I wanted to save this for the podcast.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Did you see that?
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Tamra Judge No is on Instagram walking us through hour
by hour, day by day of what looks like a
severe face lift, face surgery.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
No, babe.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Tamra Judge from the Real Housewives of Orange County. Tamra Judge,
who was also on wasn't she Traders? Traders?
Speaker 3 (34:29):
Is? She got off early, but she was great. She
was great by the way. This last episode they did
like a mock Traders thing that did not not go well.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
But Orange County is a show, so it's so good.
I love it, Babe.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
She is getting some kind of I don't know if
this is a severe facelift or it just looks severe,
but she literally looks like and I'm not making a joke,
she looks like she it's beyond I would say sunburn,
but it looks like a burn burn. And she referred
to it today. She goes, oh, look at this today,
and she said, looks crispy, feels crispy. I feel like
(35:05):
taking off Instagram.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
Why, I mean, it takes time to heal.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
She's a little graphic.
Speaker 3 (35:10):
I love that she's sharing it though.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
I love that she's.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Sharing it, but I don't think she needs to do videos.
Maybe why because it's so it looks so graphic and painful.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
Oh I see it. Oh my god, good for her. No, babe,
this is good. Oh she's really share. Oh my gosh,
she shares the very big Why is she green?
Speaker 2 (35:33):
I don't know. Okay, and she's walking you through it,
but she's oh.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
I see she Oh, because she got laser, a laser
two thing. Yeah, she got a laser. And that's why
I see. She says it's crispy because she got the
laser too. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
I don't know if that was the word she needed
to use, because I was like, yeah, you should be flaky.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
Healing progress is definitely made. Yeah, she's fine, She's gonna
look good. I don't think she did she need all that.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Oh good for her.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
I can't wait to get mine, Bababy.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
You're not getting a babe. There's get what.
Speaker 3 (36:02):
I need, all of it, Get what everything.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
Babe, you need nothing.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
They say, black done crack. But I'm falling apart.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
Babe. You aren't you going to be fifty five in November? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (36:13):
Holy shit, I know babe, you're fifty five, Yeah in November.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
Your body your face is of a thirty four years.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
Old Come on, please, it ain't now now you're tripping, babe.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Come on, I'm not saying you need to.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
I must say. My tits are great.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
My tits are really great. Thank husham for real? I
mean they knock on wood.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
What are you talking about? Face?
Speaker 1 (36:38):
Have you discussed this with somebody? There's no person with
a license would give you a facelift. They'd be like,
there's nothing.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Now. The girl who.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
Does my botox, I get botox and she said she
I would never get filler. But I tell her I'm
gonna get a facelift and she.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
Says, what laughs at you?
Speaker 3 (36:56):
No, she doesn't laugh.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
Baby, You're not getting a facelift. There's no face, there's
nothing to lift.
Speaker 3 (37:02):
It's because I have a small face.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
What does that mean?
Speaker 3 (37:05):
Like I have a little tiny face, so it'd be
kind of I don't know I need it. I just
need something.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
No babe, what you need to do is put on
a nice cute outfit and meander up there and get
rid of these iPads.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
Please, I can't walk I have This is.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
Your fault, Like, why do I have to fix your mistakes? Man?
This is terrible. Why don't you take your limping self
and get into cab and take them back yourself?
Speaker 1 (37:32):
All right, well we'll figure it out anyway. J Lo,
never press the button. You press the button on.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
Save that ass for someone special and for something special
the next deserving man needs to look at it. We
adore you, we love you. We think that you are
the queen of all things. Ah I do.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
I love j Lo, queen of all things I do.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
She's everything. That woman is everything to me. Fuck every
ex boyfriend talk about worst ex ever? Okay, all of them?
Bye bye. She could do a doc she should do,
next documentary she should do.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Yeah, stop doing these documentaries.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
Your next album documentary on all them dummies.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
That would be fucking epic if she walked us through
each sea.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
See that's when you think about.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
Like a like a lighthearted way to bring her back
into sort of relatability.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
That would be fun. That would be funny, would be
really fun. That's what she should do. But keep that ass,
lock up.
Speaker 3 (38:35):
Show that ass like she's right, she's don't do that.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
Everybody shows like.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
I was saying that the t shirt, saying that she's
on bother and all that. It's like it's like when
you're mad at a boyfriend. If like I was mad
at you, I think I've done it a little once
or twice where I, like on Instagram, like did like
one of those dumb sayings like when you're mad at
your husband or your boyfriend, where you like tweet something
that's like a cryptic thing like and everybody knows that
(39:01):
and go like, oh right, you're mad at your husband,
you're mad at your boy you know, like don't do
that like this too. It's too like basic.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
And then she's the other picture that she did.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
She's like glimbing on an ice cream and it's like
tongues and I'm like, what's going on.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Honey, stop boy? What are you doing? You're Jennifer Lopez Like.
Speaker 3 (39:17):
I don't know, it's like where's the pr person?
Speaker 2 (39:19):
I don't know. We should open a pr froom, yo,
j Lo. I hate to go back to this again,
but like you know, like.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
When you two. Like when you're going through something and
you post something and one of your girlfriend's like, stop,
what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (39:32):
Like take that down?
Speaker 3 (39:33):
Like nah, that's too obvious, Like stop.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
It, stop it, ohway, but don't stop listening to rapports rally, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
Tell a friend to tell a friend.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
But also on Max what is it called Chimp Crazy
Jim Crazy? You gotta watch it?
Speaker 1 (39:49):
Excellent, Darker, way darker, my worst ex ever on Netflix,
and of course the OC and we're coming.
Speaker 3 (39:57):
To buy we didn't talk about because it's coming to
the last t.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
About it next week the finale.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
But it's been a great, great summer of reality TV
popular culture.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
But now we're moving on to.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
The fabulous Fall and we're moving off of this episode.
So again, tell a friend to tell a friend. Subscribe,
rate review and Puff Puff Pass Uh the newest episode
of Rap Reports Reality Puff Puff Passed and uh and
and j Lo holler at us, slide up into our
d MS and and holler at us.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
We're going to straighten you out, real nice and real proper.
Speaker 3 (40:31):
And once the co wort again, pick up some talenty No,
I think it's pick up the tlenty babe, babe, Oh shit,
I forgot already. Get me some get me some talented
pick up anyway, anyway, I love you, babe.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
We need to come up with the password, the cover
word
Speaker 4 (41:02):
Bet
Jennifer Lopez did an ass mirror selfie just for the
fun and joy and the breakup and divorce of doing
the ass mirror selfie.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
And like you said, we need to get a hold
of her.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
We do because she is so much better than an
ass mirror selfie. The only time that's like pressing the
nuclear button. The only time Jennifer Lopez should post a
picture of her ass is for charity, Yes, like for PEDA,
(00:41):
save the animals, fight cancer, or stop the war.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
Peace.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
If we get to the point where there's a nuclear
a war and there's potential of a nuclear war, Jennifer.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Lopez could literally.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Post some ass selfies to go stop guys, and people go, oh,
this must be serious.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
I mean, I'm agreeing with you.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Hoktua. Welcome to Rapaport's Reality.
Speaker 3 (01:14):
Hi. I'm Keevy Rappaport.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
My name is Michael Rapaport. Mister Rapaport. This is our podcast.
This is the world's most important inside scoop popular culture,
reality and of course all things relationship of the Rapaport's podcast.
(01:39):
There's only one podcast that discusses the minutia of the
relationship that Kibi and I share. There's only one, and
there's many. I mean there is thousands. I wonder, is
it hundred millions of podcasts At this point, it's got
to be millions.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
Millions, you think, I mean, I don't know. Yeah, there
might be all a million, close to a million podcasts.
I mean everyone has one.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Everybody's got a podcast, but there's nothing like our podcast,
Rapaports Reality.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
Rapaport's Reality Summer. Love in Summer is over.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Ooh, and I am so happy about it.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Why are you happy?
Speaker 3 (02:20):
I can drop the anxiety of the heat. It's because
yesterday I went for a walk and it was wonderful.
I text you and I said, it is gorgeous out.
It hadn't breathe down the fifth Avenue. I was like, oh,
this is so nice, I can breathe.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
That was an amaglamation or because that was shocking that
literally the day after Labor Day, which is supposed to
be the end of the technical summer, it was cooled
down in anywork.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
But don't get your hopes, I.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
Know, because it usually usually it's still hot. Today it's
going to be a little warm. But yeah, I like
when I have to wear my fall clothes, you know,
I really like fall dressing. So I'm excited. I know
it's not going to stay that way the whole month
of September, Yes, but I'm looking forward to the fall.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
This was the first summer that we spent the majority
of the time doing nothing except for staring into each
other's eyes while eating, staring into each other's eyes, and podcasting.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Yeah, I mean, this was a chill summer.
Speaker 3 (03:31):
No, it's great. It was chill the second half of
the summer August, I would.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Say, but July too, like if we if we broke
out the numbers.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
But I mean when I think of this summer, when
I go back into my mind's memory, I just think
about staring at each other.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
You're looking at me like it wasn't fun.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
No, it was my goal.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
That was truly my goal. I really could. We've never
had that.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
It was.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
It was really grant to me that we two take
a break. But you're looking at me like it was.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Dorch No, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
I needed that for you.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
And I'm glad we chilled.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
I'm glad we got to get hours, hours and hours
and hours of just staring quietly with some light jazz
music in the background.
Speaker 3 (04:12):
Shut up.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Wasn't that so the fun memory like just staring, like
put on some light, or sometimes it just go we
don't even need the light jazz music. We'll just stare
and I'm like, babe. And sometimes you're like, is this enough?
And I'm like, no, babe, let me stare at your
eyes for another another few hours.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
I had a goal that we would stay and we
would be in our house and we would relax and
chill and we'll do nothing because you needed to take
a break. It was too much. We've had a lot
going on and we needed this summer to just be
in one place.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Now.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
I just want to I just want to ask you.
We could keep this or not keep this in the podcast?
Just a mental note, can you return the iPad the
next iPad?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
I know what you're gonna ask me, and no, absolutely not.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Let's just tell no. You know what I was it
gonna say that. Here, here's the thing. Let's tell people.
So I have a torn meniscus. I tore my meniscus.
In between longingly, lovingly staring into each other's eyes. You
had me doing chores around the house, and one day
I was doing chores around the house.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
You weren't doing No, let's tell the no I was.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Cleaning up when I know I was.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
I have to be honest.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
You have to be honest, babe. You weren't cianing up.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
You were covering the furniture in the backyard furniture. You
were covering putting the cover back on the backyard sofa.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
And while the five steps.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
There's three steps going back on the deck, and you
missed the step.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
I missed the step, and I immediately went, oh shit.
Now I did not know I tore my miniscus. It
went away, YadA, YadA, YadA. I went for one of
my power jogs, my famous power jogs. And since that
power job, about two weeks ago, my mandy has been sore, painful,
went to the doctor, went to the doctor, and sure
(05:58):
enough I knew I had tornscus. Now you guys are
probably going, oh no, oh, no oh, you tore your meniscus.
This is the lowest form of a thing you could
tear in your knee. I tore my other meniscus, my
left meniscus, infamously paying basketball. I wish I had everybody's like,
had you tear your meniscus?
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Because usually it's a story. No, Usually there's a story
and Also, the meniscus tear is usually a lateral move,
like it's a side move.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
You like this.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
If I showed you how I did it, it was
like that going down a stair, I stepped this.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
I'll show you. I it was an awkward It wasn't
just forward stair.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
It was to the right, I'm telling you, because you
were going to the box, yes, to the storage bus.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
Anyway, the other day, Kibi your iPad that you've had
for probably like ten years, right.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Yeah, more than ten years, because I only use my iPad.
I have a little mini one to read. That's how
I read.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
We're streaming shows when.
Speaker 3 (06:53):
We travel on the plane. I usually look at Netflix
on on the plane on my iPad, or that I read.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
You've had that puppy for a long a long time,
that puppy.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
Cock and it cocked out. I was plugging it in
and it's for some reason. I plug it in and
then the charging number would go backwards, so weird.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
And it was an iPad three that's old, I mean old,
old like.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
And I don't even know what size it is because
I took the tape measure out to buy a new one.
And it's not even as it's like ten ten point,
it's like really small anyway. So I said to you,
I'm gonna order a new iPad, and this is what
you do, by the way, notoriously every time I say
I'm gonna buy it, and I tried to be mindful
about spending when it doesn't come to clothes or shoes.
(07:40):
I say I'm going to get a new iPad, and
I say it kind of like I'm going to Now
I'm going to be like, I think I need a
new iPad, and then I wait for you to say, yeah,
go ahead, babe, and you say me too, which makes
me say, okay, I'm not going to get one, because
then we start looking to see how much they are
and what they're like these days, and then it becomes
like a game. We both start looking at our phone
(08:01):
to order an.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
iPad, and I go, okay, I'm gonna I'm I'm.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
Doing Somethow you get to ordering one first?
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Well, the reason why I decided I wanted an iPad
is because when I was at my fantasy football draft,
the rapper Jaw.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Rule right, you're in Atlanta.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
I was in Atlanta from my fantasy football draft, which
we don't discuss on this show.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
But the rapper jow Rule Murder Yeah jo Rule.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
I was on my laptop and jaw Rule was on
what seemed like a new iPad with the keyboard, and
I was like, yo, what is it. He's like, Yo,
it's an iPad blah blah blah blah bah and he
was like, yeah, I bring it everywhere.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
I don't have to bring a laptop.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
I was like, oh shit, And I had my, you know,
my laptop, and so I was like, I want to
have one of those. So when I travel, you know,
I have to bring my my laptop.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Right.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
So, like like jaw Rule, no disrespect to fifty cent,
I was like, yo, I want to copy Joe Rule
and get an iPad. So when you said you're a
getting iPad, was like, I was thinking about getting iPad too.
So I got on the damn computer. I got on
my phone and I ordered that iPad.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
And as I'm looking at the same time and I
was like, wow, keyboard's cool. And you were like, you
don't need a keyboard, you could just get the right
I'm like, no, if you're getting a keyboard, I'm getting
one because they look really cool and it also is
a cover at the same time.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
And you could like do emails on that.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
Yeah, it's very cool so that I don't have to
drag my computer back and forth everywhere.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Because what I learned about an iPad is an iPad
is essentially like a giant iPhone totally.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
I didn't know that.
Speaker 3 (09:26):
Yeah. I was like, there's an iPad air and there's
like an eye pair of pro and I was like, wow,
you should do the pro because what does that do free?
I don't know. It seems like it's fancier and more expensive.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Yeah, so there's always like, oh, and you could store this.
I'm like, what is this shit?
Speaker 3 (09:42):
It's a lot of storage. There's a lot of storage. Nonetheless,
you're on your phone a lot. So you're in there
and you're like, boop, I got mine, and I seem
to be having a lot of trouble ordering it on
the Apple Store.
Speaker 2 (09:55):
And I'm doing mine too.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
And then after I go I got mine, ha hahaha,
Mine's coming tomorrow. At ten thirty am, I get a
text from Visa or MasterCard or City Bank or wherever
you get the credit card and it says declined and
then I got to call them for twenty minutes you know,
full transparency. This is on a Sunday. I don't like
calling these people on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. I certainly
(10:19):
don't want to call them on a Sunday. But I'm like,
I need my fucking iPad because it's coming at ten
thirty the next day.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
Meanwhile, I'm tolling away on the site trying to order mine, going,
I don't know how to do this. I'm figuring it out.
But I'm figuring it out, and you go, babe, I'll
help you, okay.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Meanwhile I'm on the phone with the credit card company.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Meanwhile I'm getting on the app for the credit card company,
checking to see I'm like using face recognition because I
have all the access to our finances, and I'm like
doing it the right way, going, I could figure it
out this way.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Push comes to shove. I get off the phone with
the credit card company. They say, you're all good, You're cleared,
your card is good. So I reorder an iPad. But babe, wait,
I just blocked my fucking order. I know, but wait,
I just have to tell you.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
As you're talking to the lady, the lady is going
through the list of the spending and asking a question,
and I.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
I can't go fifty things now. She said, did you
spend five dollars at A seven eleven. I'm like, yes, no, but.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
I hear her distinctly say did you charge three thousand
dollars at the Apple Store? And you go yes, no,
I mean yes no. I told her yes, and I say,
yes you did, tell her yes you did. And somehow
I think this gets misconstrued as a no yes, and
I see it, I don't see it actually on the thing,
(11:33):
and then I see it, and then I don't know.
Somehow someway cut.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
To the next day, four fucking iPads show up, not
just for me, like because the charge went through, the
charge didn't go through.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
I get mine, and then three more come for me.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Three more iPads come for me, of all different shapes, sizes, colors.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
All of the sudden, you're not Michael Rapaport, You're Micra Rapaport.
You get an iPad, and you get an ipady. You
get up.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
But the VST this is in the credit card company
is not calling to check why are you working?
Speaker 3 (12:04):
We have fourteen thousand dollars that should.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Be when they flag it, like, what's going on here?
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Why are you ordering four iPads, like that's when I
want them to call.
Speaker 3 (12:12):
Oh, no, the delivery Are things shut down for like
a month and a half for some reason? We could
use our card.
Speaker 1 (12:19):
Bags of iPads show up at the house literally bags literally,
and the credit card company's not asking is there fraud?
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Nothing?
Speaker 1 (12:26):
So now what I wanted to ask you, because I
have a broken graft, is will you take those additional
iPads that need to be returned?
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Because no one needs four eyepads?
Speaker 3 (12:41):
So now I have to walk down.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Tippled I get that surgery tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
I have to take a carry these bags.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
You just said the weather's nice and you like to dress.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
No, I can't carry. I have to bring a cart
that I literally have to bring the car.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Did you not just say, I mean it's still nice
out you could put on a nice outfit.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
It's I'm gonna have to take a cab because it's.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Not that far away. It's Madison Avenue, it's New York City.
Speaker 3 (13:02):
I'll do it. Of course I can't say no, I
have to do it. But what am I going to
look like? By the way, returning that many eyes?
Speaker 1 (13:09):
I was talking about that too, That looks like you
do like you stole them ships.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Anyway, the fact of the matter is is that we
have four iPads, we have a torn meniscus.
Speaker 3 (13:29):
Am I supposed to be Nurse Ratchet to help you
with this injury?
Speaker 2 (13:33):
What's it? What's morning?
Speaker 3 (13:34):
What's the recovery look like for this Tomorrow?
Speaker 2 (13:37):
A boom boom boom.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
After the surgery Friday, I'll be a little bit. Uh,
I think I'm out of it, and then Saturday boom,
You're you're at physical therapy.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Okay, So I'm gonna be until I'll remember that you
said that. Okay, Yeah, Like I don't want like you're
ringing a bell on Sunday? Can you do? You know
what I mean?
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Lemonade? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Anyway, there's some great, great programs before we get to
the programs, and I again, I feel like, not only
is this the rapper Ports reality podcast where we discuss
all things popular culture, all things reality TV, and of
course all things US, I feel like somehow and it
should also be called en j Lo.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Yeah, I know, every fucking.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
She's probably the most consistently discussed person on this podcast
beside us US.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
Yeah, I know, we gotta we somehow got to get
a hold of her.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
You know, because she's just we need to get a
hold of her. We do.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
She needs to have somebody go yo, you don't let
Megan the Stallion let this that, and the third influencer
even let Sydney Sweeney let Cardi b Yeah, let this
rapper this height hot that hot chick.
Speaker 3 (15:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Jennifer Lopez did an ass mirror selfie just for the fun,
enjoy and the breakup and divorce of doing the ass
mirror selfie.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
And like you said, we need to get a hold
of her.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
We do, because she is so much better than an
ass mirror selfie. The only time that's like pressing the
nuclear button. The only time Jennifer Lopez should post a
picture of her ass is for charity, Yes, like for Pita,
(15:42):
save the animals, fight cancer, or stop the war. If
we get to the point where there's a nuclear a
war and there's potential of a nuclear war, Jennifer Lopez
could literally post some ass selfies to go stop guy,
and people go, oh, this must be serious.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
I mean I'm agreeing with you, or she could you know.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
How God's this is asses greatest gifts, not to say
she's got the greatest ass of all time. That's debatable.
That's for another podcast. But as far as making the
ass popular culture, cross pollinating from black white Puerto.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
Rican, she made. She made asses mainstream.
Speaker 3 (16:27):
Yes, she made it. Okay for Kim Kardashian and the
Kardashian family to have their asses. She needs to know
that and have confidence in it. She busted out and
forgot it. She forgot she had to show that ass
in a series of slides. Let's say that though she
posted her ass in a series of Instagram slides, so
I think she or that. We don't, but she slid
(16:49):
it in there as if we weren't going to notice.
But she also put a T shirt in there that
said she's in bloom and unbothered, out of reach and
at peace.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
No you're not.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
If you had to put that on a T shirt
in your posts, you are not at peace and you're bothered. No,
my friend, you are not, and I want you to be.
I want you to be, and you're not. And you
know what you are above this and beyond you really
are and I want you to be.
Speaker 1 (17:22):
Did putin say he was going to do something and
that's why you posted the ass, Alfie.
Speaker 3 (17:26):
That ass is special.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
That's a special ass and it has special meaning. Everybody
on the internet is posting pictures of their ass, you
shouldn't be. No, I don't think she's ever posted a
picture of her ass ever in all these years.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
She keeps that thing like it's like I locked up
in a ball.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
It was a desperate move. I think you're right, it's
too desperate and she's she's beyond that.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Who's around her?
Speaker 3 (17:50):
I don't know. Somebody should tell her that ass should
be kept on lock.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
I'm just saying, like, if it's for charity and you know,
giving money to you know, people in need, feed the animals,
if there's elephants in a zoo that are starving, or monkeys,
which brings us to Crazy Chimp. Holy shit. There is
an HBO Max. I believe it's just called Max now.
Speaker 3 (18:16):
Yeah, is it not HBO Now it's gone. It's called
Max now. I don't know why, but it's called Max
HBO Maybe because HBO and Cinemax merged and now it's
called Max. But on the it was HBO Max and
now it's just called Max.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
There is a fantastic four part documentary called Crazy Chimp
created by the maker of Tiger with a woman. It's
another it's another lunatic who loves their animals. She she
loves her monkeys, her chimps, her spider monkeys. She's literally
(18:55):
crazier than all the Real Housewives of Orange. If you
took up there crazy, put it in a pot. She's
fucking nuttier than all them. And it follows her follows
her story, follows her struggle.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
When Peter finds out that the monkeys.
Speaker 3 (19:11):
To the famous monkey Tnka that was an actor, an
actor child after gorilla. I think it's a gorilla, right,
is a gorilla or a chimp? A chimp, chimpanzee? So cute,
tonk Oh, he's so cute.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
And Pete is coming because they have like seventy monkeys
and they're all in cages because, as everybody knows infamously, sadly,
it's all fun and games until the monkey's seven or eight.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Then the monkey, even though it loves you seven or.
Speaker 3 (19:38):
Eight, sick of being in a freaking cage.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
It's sick of being in a cage.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
And its strength, just if it's hugging you, kissing you
can be deathly. Yeah, it doesn't have to attack, It
can rip your fucking garm off.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
Yeah, well it attacks when it eats your face.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
And this monkey documents that, just like Tiger King documents
when these animals go crazy. And this woman whose name
I'm forgetting, is fascinating. She wears wigs, she gets lip
injecsins and she shows it, which is has nothing to
do with monkeys. But you're like, I was like, what
the fuck?
Speaker 3 (20:10):
I mean, this documentary is so fantastic and so well done.
We don't want to give too much away because this
is a mussy I mean, you gotta watch. This Thing's excellent.
It's excellent. You know the great thing about a documentary
when it's done well no matter what the story is.
And we say this over and over again about storytelling,
when the characters that we're watching are so lovable no
(20:34):
matter what the.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Story is, and they have a point of view, the
point of view, and they show the point of view,
they show.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Well what I'm what I'm getting at is that this
woman her love of the animals. I mean, when this
woman says, I love these animals more than I love
my own children, and she says that, and you're like, ill,
But then you kind of understand when I was saying
her mental health issues are such that she has placed
them in this chimp, this particular chimp. You understand it.
(21:02):
You walk away kind of understanding it. Lit empathy for her.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
And then when she cuts to her son, who's like
probably twenty five, and he says, yes.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
He empathizes with his mom, or sympathizes with her at
the end and.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
He says, yes, she loves these animals, and.
Speaker 3 (21:17):
He's like, actually, okay with it. You kind of like
your heart bleeds for all of them, and then you
actually kind of go like, fuck you, Peter, leave her alone,
do you know what I mean? Like it's weird.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
They take her monkeys.
Speaker 1 (21:27):
Yeah, and that's the least of it. She's a trip.
She's fascinating. I can't wait till.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
This last episode.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
There's four episodes on Max formerly known as HBO. Now
I guess it's Max HBO whatever it is.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
But there are.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Riveting, captivating, funny wack crazy moments.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Cooky, the way it shot, they shoot it perfectly.
Speaker 3 (21:50):
It's beautifully shot, by the way, actually, and.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
They also like shoot her like a crazy person, but
with love, they.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
Love with compassion. Yeah, they show how nutty she is
and this whole hard No, it's not hard. It's not hard, no,
but it's it's really good. And we give it a
four monkey paws up or five? Do you give four
or five? I say five?
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Well, I mean four out of five.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
I mean chimpanzees have five, Okay, so we give.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Five paws up, five monkey paws up. It's fantastic, beautiful.
The other thing, the other show that we watched, oh
(22:37):
boy in between staring longingly and lovingly into each other's eyes.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Now this is a more of a dark turn.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Yeah, it is dark. This is dark. We pounded through
these because we were humanity is I mean, if you
can have compassion for crazy people who want to keep
exotic animals in their basements, you cannot understand why people
have get involved with these people they fall in love
(23:07):
with and then call them my worst ex ever. Because
there's a show on Netflix called My Worst ex Ever.
And you will be astounded at the red flags that
walk into your life that you ignore.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
And it's not funny.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
We're not making funny, man, it's terrifying.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
This show is about worst exes ever. And there's four episodes,
so there four, there's four.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
Watch four.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
We watched three three okay, and I heard the fourth
one wasn't as good. But these are about people that women.
These are regular women.
Speaker 3 (23:42):
There was one man, which one the man with the
Asian wife and the mother. Oh my gosh, that was terrifying,
that poor man. These are sick of The first girl,
the black girl with the guy. But Jerry and Jerry, Jerry.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
She's there's a there's a woman. She's got basically a
black chick.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
No, I'm talking about the black the first one, the
black the white dude, the good looking kind of black dude.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
And then I was like, you you were talking for?
Speaker 3 (24:09):
I called, I called Donnie, and I was like, remember
the dude after I first broke up with Mike when
I was young, He kind of looked like that dude
right like I couldn't I mean, he wasn't like that.
But I'm saying, yo, you could get caught up in
some good looking white dude with some long hair in
the early nineties and be like, you know, it could
be almost dead. It could happen. No, it's really really terrifying.
(24:32):
And then you realize women are in danger. And when
you call the police and be like, okay, this guy,
you know it's in danger, and then police ignore it
and then they next thing, you know, he's locked up
some other chick in her own apartment for a week.
It's not it's crazy out there, it's insane. It's like insane,
you got It's like the second episode really scared the
(24:56):
shit out of me. He had her in jail for
one hundred and seventy two days or something like that.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
I think it was two hundred something two days.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
This is insane.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
This guy, guy named Jerry. This is a New York story.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
And this woman regular woman, let's just say a black
woman because I think she was Indian or guy, yes,
and but she kind of looked whatever is this nice
looking woman from a nice family, trying to live her life,
hard working, She starts dating a guy.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
She went into banking, she got her own restaurant. She
was hard working, single mom and didn't want to date anybody.
And then Jerry, the fake cop, fake cop, land cop detective,
he said.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
And he turns out Jerry's married, and the wife calls
our lead.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Woman and Jerry won't leave.
Speaker 1 (25:43):
And the next thing, you know, while she's trying to
break up, you know, he abuses her.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
And the next thing, you know, somehow, some way.
Speaker 3 (25:50):
He sets her up.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
He sets her up because she calls the cops, the
real cops on Jerry, the fake cop, and says, this
man abused me physically and sexually, and he's about to
go to jail. And he sets her up somehow because
he understands the system and the loopholes in the system,
and the loopholes in the system of New York and
how they're different from the loopholes in the system of
(26:12):
Nassau County. And he sets her up as being impersonating
a cop herself and robbing people.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
And she's in fucking jail, I.
Speaker 3 (26:21):
Mean, the ultimate guest litter lighter guests let the shit
out of her.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
And she can't get out of jail. And now like,
what the fuck is going on here? And you go,
this could happen to anybody, I mean anybody.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
It shows you that anybody can accuse you of anything
at any time.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
Now, I'm not going to go into details, but there's
a person in our family who just the other day
called us and was saying that she was in fear
that she had been bank frauded, and she was in
fear that her credit and her social security had been stolen.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
Yeah, because the person said, check your Amazon account, did
you purchase laptop?
Speaker 1 (27:00):
A person called, let's just say Boots, our friend Boots
and our friend Boots. I don't know if she was
caught vulnerable, caught slipping, not paying attention, and she almost
she almost got she she was in.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
The middle of getting scammed.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Yea, all her shit, Yeah, because she actually went to
her Amazon and the person who said they were a
federal person on the phone said, look at your Amazon.
I think you're trafficking money because you bought something on
Amazon that computer. And that's I don't know. It was
a long, horrible story.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
But he kept transferring her and transferred. They had a
whole thing. He's transit to his it's probably to his cousin.
The beauty of that was we got this gentleman.
Speaker 3 (27:43):
I had to do is get the number that she
gave me and reverse search it on Google. And then
all he did was calling harassm.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
I called him and I'm gonna and I'm going to
continue to call in harass them.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
And I said, you motherfucker, Yeah, don't you fuck.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
And I didn't say any names, I said, and I
just started harassing here.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
That was funny harassment. We're very immature for doing that
babe that we're.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
No, we're not.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
I mean, no, we're not, because it's really scary that
our friend Boots even gave this person any time.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
The bottom line is well.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
Because she's an older, sweet person and very vulnerable, one.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Hundred percent it happened.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
I mean, I have another person in my business who
just got bank frauded, I know, and this is a
regular person from a bank in Beverly Hills.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
You know.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
It's so messed up about that. There's something that you
could have LifeLock, where you have to pay to lock
up your entire life. So these fricking animals.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Don't like I like them not cursing.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
I'm trying really hard. It's very difficult. But I realized
I listened back, it sounds really awful. And also I
was listening to some ex you know, Twitter group spaces thing,
and there's a bunch of intellectual people on there, and
there was somebody very smart that was like F this
and F that, and I was it was really bothering me.
I was like, why is he saying that for so much? Anyway,
So I'm really trying for the podcast or in general
(29:03):
just for myself. I was like, I'm a lady.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
Yeah, I gotta try to curb it all.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
Alsom is just so.
Speaker 2 (29:10):
I mean, I feel like it separates me from the
pack though, I mean I know it me too.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
I feel it feels so good. It just gets like
a lot out. There's no other word like it. But anyway,
the fact that we have to really pay to think
about LifeLock, that we have to like And.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Let's say you get caught up with a guy like
Jerry the cop from what's the name of the show.
Speaker 3 (29:32):
Worst ex Ever?
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Or let's say like our friend Boots, if somehow, some
way you're paying how much is LifeLock.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
LifeLock or not?
Speaker 3 (29:41):
But I'm just saying, you know, it's like nineteen ninety nine,
there's six ninety nine whatever you can do.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
Say you pay nineteen ninety nine a month, right, and
somehow one of these scamming f words, Yeah, scams you right?
Speaker 2 (29:55):
Do you get to sue LifeLock? No? No is LifeLock? Response,
I don't even I.
Speaker 3 (29:59):
Don't even know LifeLock is like really life. You know,
Like I was running with the white last night after
Boots got you know, it was freaked out. I looked
into LifeLock myself and then I thought, how secure is LifeLock?
Speaker 1 (30:11):
And also, I guarantee you when you're signing up and
paying your nineteen ninety nine a month for LifeLock, which
we're not promoting.
Speaker 3 (30:18):
No, I'm not, and I'm not sure nothing quote me
on the nineteen ninety nine because I'm not sure.
Speaker 1 (30:22):
Eleven nine night, I guarantee your signing away your rights
that if LifeLock somehow gets scammed and you're paying, you
can't sue lifelong right exactly.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
I'm sure it makes it easier.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Again, we've just promoted the shit out of LifeLock, right,
LifeLock should be promoting us, right, instead of us promoting them.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
Listen, folks, the bottom line is nothing safe.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
The bottom line is if don't answer calls from unknown numbers.
If anyone calls you and says they're from a bank,
from Amazon, from Instagram, from TikTok, from X, say oh okay, Noah,
or okay Jennifer, or okay, mister Smith, what's your number?
Let me call you call you back and start asking
(31:03):
them the questions.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Because here's the thing. Now, you know that AI can
impersonate you, So I could get a phone call from
what would be your phone number and say, yo, babe,
I'm still good to train.
Speaker 2 (31:17):
Can you come pick me up?
Speaker 1 (31:19):
Or wait if you fell for that, babe, And I'm saying, they.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
Can say your name. So you and I we need
like a code name we can say. We can't say
the code right now in a podcast.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Hold on, I want to come up with a code.
The code should be what.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
Pick me up some tlenty?
Speaker 2 (31:39):
That's not bad.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Yeah, I was gonna go with something more crash, but
that's good. So if you're ever getting a weird phone call,
you're going to say to me, babe, what's the code?
And I'm gonna say, pick me up some tlenty. Now,
I know that millions of people listen to this podcast,
and I'm assuming that none of our loyal, loving fans.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
Would turn on us give it away. They wouldn't, They.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
Wouldn't turn this over to a scammer.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Now say a if you ai Michael Rappaport's voice, AI,
pick me up some tlenty? Right, all right, that's a
good code. Pick me That seems like I might forget that.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Though, babe.
Speaker 3 (32:24):
As much as you love tlenty ice cream.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
We're just getting We're just so practice again. So you're
gonna say to.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Me, what hey, babe, pick me up some tlenty.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
No, you gotta say, babe, what's the code? Oh babe,
what's the code?
Speaker 1 (32:37):
Pick me up some tlenty? That's the code, all right,
I gotta get that in my brain. Pick me up
some tlenty? Yeah, okay, okay, fair enough.
Speaker 3 (32:46):
I mean you would have to ask me the same thing, babe.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Okay, you sound this doesn't sound like you. Baby, sounds
a little weird. What's our personal code?
Speaker 3 (32:55):
Pick me up some tilenty?
Speaker 2 (32:58):
All right? So now they can ai you too, right, exactly?
Speaker 4 (33:01):
All right?
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Well, maybe we're doing a fake code to throw them off.
That's not our code word. Maybe we know we're going
to be scammed anyway, Yo. The bottom line is again,
if you gotta just I don't answer on normal phone.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Talk dog world out there, guys, a.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
Dog dog and it's a scammer. Scam world, yes, really
scamming motherfuckers.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
But it is true.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
I did get the scammer's number and I have been
harassing him.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
Well, we're fans of crank calling. So from the day
we met, when we were young kids, we liked to
crank call.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
Don't tell the story when we crank called Robert de Niro,
I think we did. Okay, we'll save that again. We'll
tell it again for another podcast. The other thing I
(33:52):
wanted to ask you is, I just saw this morning
on Instagram. I don't know if you saw this, baby,
I wanted to save this for the podcast.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Did you see that?
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Tamra Judge No is on Instagram walking us through hour
by hour, day by day of what looks like a
severe face lift, face surgery.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
No, babe.
Speaker 1 (34:20):
Tamra Judge from the Real Housewives of Orange County. Tamra Judge,
who was also on wasn't she Traders? Traders?
Speaker 3 (34:29):
Is? She got off early, but she was great. She
was great by the way. This last episode they did
like a mock Traders thing that did not not go well.
Speaker 2 (34:38):
But Orange County is a show, so it's so good.
I love it, Babe.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
She is getting some kind of I don't know if
this is a severe facelift or it just looks severe,
but she literally looks like and I'm not making a joke,
she looks like she it's beyond I would say sunburn,
but it looks like a burn burn. And she referred
to it today. She goes, oh, look at this today,
and she said, looks crispy, feels crispy. I feel like
(35:05):
taking off Instagram.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
Why, I mean, it takes time to heal.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
She's a little graphic.
Speaker 3 (35:10):
I love that she's sharing it though.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
I love that she's.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
Sharing it, but I don't think she needs to do videos.
Maybe why because it's so it looks so graphic and painful.
Speaker 3 (35:22):
Oh I see it. Oh my god, good for her. No, babe,
this is good. Oh she's really share. Oh my gosh,
she shares the very big Why is she green?
Speaker 2 (35:33):
I don't know. Okay, and she's walking you through it,
but she's oh.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
I see she Oh, because she got laser, a laser
two thing. Yeah, she got a laser. And that's why
I see. She says it's crispy because she got the
laser too. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (35:47):
I don't know if that was the word she needed
to use, because I was like, yeah, you should be flaky.
Speaker 3 (35:51):
Healing progress is definitely made. Yeah, she's fine, She's gonna
look good. I don't think she did she need all that.
Speaker 2 (35:57):
Oh good for her.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
I can't wait to get mine, Bababy.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
You're not getting a babe. There's get what.
Speaker 3 (36:02):
I need, all of it, Get what everything.
Speaker 2 (36:04):
Babe, you need nothing.
Speaker 3 (36:07):
They say, black done crack. But I'm falling apart.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
Babe. You aren't you going to be fifty five in November? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (36:13):
Holy shit, I know babe, you're fifty five, Yeah in November.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
Your body your face is of a thirty four years.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
Old Come on, please, it ain't now now you're tripping, babe.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Come on, I'm not saying you need to.
Speaker 3 (36:28):
I must say. My tits are great.
Speaker 2 (36:30):
That's it.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
My tits are really great. Thank husham for real? I
mean they knock on wood.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
What are you talking about? Face?
Speaker 1 (36:38):
Have you discussed this with somebody? There's no person with
a license would give you a facelift. They'd be like,
there's nothing.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
Now. The girl who.
Speaker 3 (36:44):
Does my botox, I get botox and she said she
I would never get filler. But I tell her I'm
gonna get a facelift and she.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
Says, what laughs at you?
Speaker 3 (36:56):
No, she doesn't laugh.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
Baby, You're not getting a facelift. There's no face, there's
nothing to lift.
Speaker 3 (37:02):
It's because I have a small face.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
What does that mean?
Speaker 3 (37:05):
Like I have a little tiny face, so it'd be
kind of I don't know I need it. I just
need something.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
No babe, what you need to do is put on
a nice cute outfit and meander up there and get
rid of these iPads.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
Please, I can't walk I have This is.
Speaker 3 (37:21):
Your fault, Like, why do I have to fix your mistakes? Man?
This is terrible. Why don't you take your limping self
and get into cab and take them back yourself?
Speaker 1 (37:32):
All right, well we'll figure it out anyway. J Lo,
never press the button. You press the button on.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
Save that ass for someone special and for something special
the next deserving man needs to look at it. We
adore you, we love you. We think that you are
the queen of all things. Ah I do.
Speaker 2 (37:55):
I love j Lo, queen of all things I do.
Speaker 3 (37:58):
She's everything. That woman is everything to me. Fuck every
ex boyfriend talk about worst ex ever? Okay, all of them?
Bye bye. She could do a doc she should do,
next documentary she should do.
Speaker 2 (38:12):
Yeah, stop doing these documentaries.
Speaker 3 (38:14):
Your next album documentary on all them dummies.
Speaker 1 (38:18):
That would be fucking epic if she walked us through
each sea.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
See that's when you think about.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
Like a like a lighthearted way to bring her back
into sort of relatability.
Speaker 2 (38:29):
That would be fun. That would be funny, would be
really fun. That's what she should do. But keep that ass,
lock up.
Speaker 3 (38:35):
Show that ass like she's right, she's don't do that.
Speaker 2 (38:38):
Everybody shows like.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
I was saying that the t shirt, saying that she's
on bother and all that. It's like it's like when
you're mad at a boyfriend. If like I was mad
at you, I think I've done it a little once
or twice where I, like on Instagram, like did like
one of those dumb sayings like when you're mad at
your husband or your boyfriend, where you like tweet something
that's like a cryptic thing like and everybody knows that
(39:01):
and go like, oh right, you're mad at your husband,
you're mad at your boy you know, like don't do
that like this too. It's too like basic.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
And then she's the other picture that she did.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
She's like glimbing on an ice cream and it's like
tongues and I'm like, what's going on.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Honey, stop boy? What are you doing? You're Jennifer Lopez Like.
Speaker 3 (39:17):
I don't know, it's like where's the pr person?
Speaker 2 (39:19):
I don't know. We should open a pr froom, yo,
j Lo. I hate to go back to this again,
but like you know, like.
Speaker 3 (39:27):
When you two. Like when you're going through something and
you post something and one of your girlfriend's like, stop,
what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (39:32):
Like take that down?
Speaker 3 (39:33):
Like nah, that's too obvious, Like stop.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
It, stop it, ohway, but don't stop listening to rapports rally, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (39:43):
Tell a friend to tell a friend.
Speaker 2 (39:44):
But also on Max what is it called Chimp Crazy
Jim Crazy? You gotta watch it?
Speaker 1 (39:49):
Excellent, Darker, way darker, my worst ex ever on Netflix,
and of course the OC and we're coming.
Speaker 3 (39:57):
To buy we didn't talk about because it's coming to
the last t.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
About it next week the finale.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
But it's been a great, great summer of reality TV
popular culture.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
But now we're moving on to.
Speaker 1 (40:08):
The fabulous Fall and we're moving off of this episode.
So again, tell a friend to tell a friend. Subscribe,
rate review and Puff Puff Pass Uh the newest episode
of Rap Reports Reality Puff Puff Passed and uh and
and j Lo holler at us, slide up into our
d MS and and holler at us.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
We're going to straighten you out, real nice and real proper.
Speaker 3 (40:31):
And once the co wort again, pick up some talenty No,
I think it's pick up the tlenty babe, babe, Oh shit,
I forgot already. Get me some get me some talented
pick up anyway, anyway, I love you, babe.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
We need to come up with the password, the cover
word
Speaker 4 (41:02):
Bet
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