April 21, 2022 • 50 mins
Leah is joined by comedian, writer, producer and actor Ian Edwards as they discuss the ongoing case of Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. As the case continues to unfold in real time, most people are refraining from choosing sides and forming opinions. Luckily for us, Leah and Ian are not 'most people'. They dive into the juicy and extremely bizarre details as they try and figure out what exactly went on.Plus the rest of the Real Time Crime Hot Topics: The UN-Lucky Charms sickness, the Michigan kindergartner that brought tequila to school and an update on the safety settings from the tragic death of the teenager at a Florida theme park.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Crime, Hello, Social Sluits, and welcome back to another episode
of Real Time Crime. I'm your host, Leo Lamar. Today
we are Dmitri down he's taken care of I guess
what you call them children? And we will be discussing
(00:24):
a lot of hot topics today. One lucky charm is
making people sick. I guess they're unlucky charms. A Michigan
kindergartener bringing tequila to school, the safety sensors on the
Florida free Fall Ride, and of course Johnny Depp and
Amber Heard's defamation trial. Should I say defamation, Well, it's
(00:45):
too late now and as you can already here, We've
got our guest here today with us, you guys. He's
one of my favorite people on planet Earth. He's one
of the funniest people in planet Earth. He's a comic.
He's a writer, producer, actor, podcaster. His debut album, Half
Ast was on Conan O'Brien's record label, Team Coco Records.
(01:06):
He was the first comedian signed to the label. Ian
has appeared numerous times on Comedy Centrals at Midnight TBS
is Conan Comedy Central's other shows. He's just an absolute gem.
The light he's an executive story editor and writing console
on HDOS Crashing co producer on Netflix's Friends from College. Honestly,
(01:28):
I'm I'm getting a little tired of reading all your credits.
If you don't mind, I just would like to skip
the rest of them. In We've got in edwards today. Everyone,
What up, y'all? How are you doing? Why are you
broadcasting from like a layer? Because I'm a detective and
I'm solving a murder mystery. Look dead. This feels like
and it's a mustached man who did it. It's always
the mustache man that I want to have sex with
(01:50):
and also committed the crime. It feels like a zoom
version of the first forty eight The Detective. And I'm
what you just came in and I'm like gonna all
these questions. Well, Ian, I do need to know where
you were on the night of September. Always been performing,
(02:10):
always be performing a BP baby, um I hello, I
love you. And you're in Austin for Moon Tower Comedy.
Mhm were you performing tonight? I mean Antoine's and then
the Velvita Room or something like that. Yeah, great, Antoine's
is cute. So and just so people get to know
(02:34):
you a little better. You know what you just told
them about me? I think you just told him everything.
Go ahead, but how about better? Better? All right? Like
what if there are a ladies listening who want to
date you? All right, you've convinced me. Okay, So Ian,
did you always want to be a comic? Nah? Go on?
(02:58):
Never even occurred to how did this come about for you? Uh?
Like I'm an immigrant, so really yeah, yeah I got.
I came to America and I was like seventeen years
old from Jamaica and I was like working at this
burger king. So this is years I mean working at
burger king. And I'm trying to like, you have to
(03:21):
start your life over you. You don't have no day
one friends, you know what I mean? Like like you
don't know anybody, and even the black people are meeting,
like we don't have regular black shit in common with
each other. Like food is different, sports is different, taste
in music is different. So you have to learn even
(03:44):
black ship. And then there was one guy. He happened
to go to the same high school as me, like
a year ahead of me, but he worked at the
same burger king. Okay, so we met some burger kings
and queens. Yeah, so we're at this white town. But
he was as funny as ship. Like his name is
Greg Ellis and he was just hilarious. And then that's
(04:07):
when I was like, oh, Ship, you can be funny
and like get to know people. So I just seeing
him like I'm putting burghers in behind the broiler, watching
him on fries, just killing it. Was ripping the whole
kitchen apart. I think that's it, crushing the kitchen crushing.
He had a he had a fresh forty five how like,
(04:28):
he had a fresh four hour shifts set ready every day.
That's hilarious. And then I was like, HEIGHT said, then
I started exploring being funny it makes the shifts go faster.
I just kept on doing until I was like the
second funniest dude at Burger King. That should be the
title of your next special. Yeah, because I don't think
(04:48):
I've ever attained like funny like Greg. And then one
day I was like taking orders on the drive through,
and the drive to was like my first mic. I
was just like always hilarious, like taking orders, you know,
somebody comes up to I got a new audience member
every order, and I was like like working on my
(05:09):
drive through material killing and uh, this dude, I took
his order and then when he pulled around, he was like, hey,
was that you took my order? I was like, yeah, yeah,
he said you should do comedy. And then that stranger
changed my life the way he said it, the way
it hit I was like, like, as soon as he
(05:33):
said it, the instant reaction within myself was That's what
I'm doing for the rest of my life. Wow. So
if you're the stranger who told the Ian to do
comedy at the Burger King from back in the day,
please call in and let us know who you are,
because Ian owes you his entire life or all those
(05:53):
credits that at least credits that Leah mentioned. It got exhausting,
and I mean it's like people can just look up
on IMDb. You're also obsessed with soccer? Yeah, yeah, you
have a soccer podcast? Is that still going? Yes? Still going?
Why are you so obsessed with football? I said in
the European way? Yeah, so are you a good soccer player?
(06:19):
So are you a good soccer player? Yeah? But my
knees are like funked up from playing too long, Like
I should have played way past the time I should
have played. Yeah, you know, but you know I say,
I was like came to America from Jamaica, but I
was born in England, so that's their number one sport.
And then Jamaica was a colony of the British, so
(06:42):
that was a sport there. So when I came to America,
like I connected with anybody who played it. So that's
like a through line for me. Like it's always been
like like a place where playing soccer was a place
of home with when I was never felt at home.
So you made friends through comedy, sports and burgers. Greg Ellis,
(07:09):
he's our guy. Yeah, everyone's from Greg Ellis. Me would
not be on this part cast right now. Big ups
to Greg Ellis. He got into the prime of his career,
which is on this podcast today. Okay, so in are
you a true crime fan? No, that's great. I can't
wait to get all your hot takes on our hot
topics for today. We're just gonna dive right in and
(07:31):
feel free to be as insane as to look. I
wish I had more of a filter. I just don't.
And people don't listen to this podcast. Uh to listen
to someone just speak seriously about true crime, so we
just pop off, all right, all right, so our first
hot topic today. F DA is investigating Lucky Charms after
(07:52):
over a hundred people complain of vomiting after eating it.
First of all, shut the up, stop eating candy for
breakfast and maybe you won't vomit. I mean, how are
people just now vomiting? How resolute with people's stomachs that
(08:14):
they didn't vomit before? And I always wanted to eat
Lucy Joms when I was a kid, but that's that
was one of those high brands my parents weren't going
to spend the money on. Yeah, it's like eating Jolly Branches.
So goddamn breakfast. Why you're having dessert for breakfast? Yeah, Like,
I have no sympathy for these people. So apparently, the
(08:35):
US Food and Drug Administration said Saturday received more than
a hundred complaints related to Lucky Charms so far this year.
So that's a hundred complaints over the course of like
four and a half months. While it is rare for
people to get sick for meating breakfast cereal because cereals
baked cereal can be contaminated after it's bake, typically when
the puffs are glazed with a sugary coating, or when
(08:56):
it is packaged, food safety experts set. Several hundred people
have also posted on a food safety website, I was
poison dot com, oh complaining of nausea, diarrhea, and vomiting
after eating Lucky Charms. This is actually my second time
experienced symptoms after eating Lucky Charms, and I'm certain it
(09:17):
is the cause. One person from Ohio reported on I
was poison dot Com having extreme abdominal pains. I am
holding onto the remaining cereal left in the box and
hoping to get it tested soon, they wrote, complaining they
said that this pain was something else. How are we
not all going out from body Lucky Charms right now
so that we can join this lawsuit? Like? What am
(09:39):
I doing here? Yeah? We we gotta run. We gotta run,
not walk. Hold on a second, let me talk to
my fake assistant. Hey, get me five boxes of Lucky
Charms stat thank you. Apparently Patrick Quaid, the founder of
the I was poison dot Com website, I feel like
we're sponsored by them. Now, have you recently been poisoned
by a cereal? Win us and I was poison dot com?
(10:01):
Is your ex boyfriend trying to murder you by sneaking
poison into your food. I'm gonna get a billboard, you
know those those that's the Lucky Charms lawyer. This is yeah.
Patrick Quaid said that over three thousand reports came in
across the country of people saying that they got sick.
It's like, uh, first of all, I feel like Lucky
(10:22):
Charms are outdated. You know, it's after all of this
COVID stuff and people being like, oh, ob City kills
more people than COVID, which who knows if that's true
or not. I'm like, why are we still loving? You
know what? I don't know. I'm not I'm not a scientist.
I'm just um. I could google it, but I'd rather
(10:44):
just gues estimate and not give false information. But you know,
it's like, why are we allowing kids to eat marshmallows
at breakfast? I mean, how is this part of a
balanced diet. It's just it's just listen, I feel like
the only thing, the only people Lucky Charms has been
lucky for this long is Lucky Charms. So for them
(11:06):
to have not been sued or any one of those
sugary ass suit cereals have not been sued before this.
They've all been lucky, like get get it together, Food
Producers and co Operations of America stop poisoning us. Yeah,
unlucky charms. There. New campaign is magically diarrhea. Yeah exactly.
(11:29):
It's like eating technic for breakfast. Well, sometimes you got
to get it out. You know, it could be better
than coffee. Yeah, I mean I don't drink coffee either.
Have you ever been to a Taco Bell drive through
and seeing if they were funnier than you? I've gone
there to scout for talent, for new talent. I mean
(11:52):
I could see you just going hopping drive through hopping,
just going from drive through to drive through to see
if there's anyone that you will pass on this gift
of telling that they should do comedy too. Yeah. When
I pull up and everybody given my food, I'm like, nah,
you don't got it, and just pull off and leave
the food there, and you just leave them mystified for
the rest and like don't go what what? Oh god? What? Yeah?
(12:15):
They have no idea. It was like why would someone
order and then not and just drive by and not
pick up their order? Yeah, and you're driving de Lorean
and They're like, did this guy just drop in from
the future. Yeah? Yeah, Speaking of finding the one, a
Michigan kindergartener brings tequila to school and shares it with classmates,
(12:38):
and it's found by the teacher. Some parents are outraged
after learning a kindergartener brought alcohol to school. According to
NBC fifteen, the Michigan students shared a bottle of Jose
Quervil mix with ten percent alcohol content with four students
at Grand River Academy before a teacher stepped in to
stop it. One parent, Alexas Smith, told the outlet she
got a call from the school alerting her that her
(13:00):
daughter was one of them. There were so many thoughts
turning through my mind, like, oh my god, you know
what if it was open before the girl got to school?
How much was it? She said? She's asking how much.
She's like, oh my god, did she get a deal
in it? Because she's young? Apparently what you're supposed to
do with tequila like share it. I felt like this
(13:21):
kid has yeah, yeah, he brought or she brought tequila
to school. But they've they've done things that parents have
been trying to get people to do for a long
The other kids to do for a long time, like
to share. And I just did they have shot glasses?
Did they poured into other kids cooks? Like? How does
(13:43):
this kid want to be the next Tom Cruise bartender?
Like what's going on here? Or Andy Cohen? Yeah, just
really preparing for the role of a lifetime getting to
be a bartender. Behind the scenes on the show. Well,
I think what's interesting is there's saying the teachers saying, oh,
it's unfortunate that these types of adult beverages can easily
(14:04):
be be mistaken for child friendly drinks. It's like, no,
I'm sorry. If your kid is bringing Jose Quervo mix
with alcohol, it's not a child friendly drink. This person
has clearly watched two alcohol parents, alcoholic parents down some drinks.
They know how to mix it with first of all, disgusting, say,
(14:25):
I sound like a kid knows how to have a
good time, and what is the problem here. The kid
is a very observant, pays attention, and he he came
to school and brought some ship And I would love
to go to college with this kid. It sounds like
it would be fun just to have fun, to do
kindergarden over and to have fun with this kid. Yeah,
(14:47):
I'd love to go to rehab with this kid. I
didn't know. They shouldn't let Bert christ shot back in school.
They shouldn't let most comedians back in school. Also, I
keep Okay, So I finally got my INVISI line out.
I know this is such a tangent, but because I'm
not using the trays anymore, I'm used to lisping, and
(15:08):
now I literally don't know how to speak. Like my
mouth it's not the same. Something is wrong here, but
I can't get words out. I feel like now I
have a permanent list, and I'm thinking about every word
as I say it, and I'm stumbling over my words
and it's very confusing. But I guess this is the
price I have to pay for having straight teeth. That's
so funny because you get there's a line, so you'll
(15:30):
become more attractive, but it makes you attractive one way
and unattractive in another way. It gives you a list, right, thanks, Dot,
it's a really double edged sword. Yeah, that's awardness. You know,
it's so funny. I'm going to Avisa next week. And
I was talking to my friend Yeah, and I was like, oh,
I'm going to Abisa and she's like, wait, have you
been before? And I was like no, and she's like,
(15:51):
oh yeah, so you get to say abisa until you've
been there. And I was like, okay, that's pretty funny.
And by when I say I was talking to my friend,
I meant me that was a conversation I had with myself.
And I don't know why you have to inform me
that I know anyway. So I think we're going to
(16:14):
Bisa for a week, Croatia for a week and a half,
and then Dubai for a comedy festival for a week.
Are you going to that comedy festival in Dubai. Yeah.
Someone told me the funniest joke about Dubai that was,
it's not this is not my joke. To be clear,
(16:34):
Dubai was built by a rapper but lives under the
rules of the rappers. Mom, it's kind of funny. I
get that. That's funny. If you had laughed, I would
have been like, just kidding, that's my joke because those
places have so many rules. Yeah, because it's like you
you can't do anything. Men and women aren't allowed to
(16:56):
touch like women are in burkas. You can't be too sexy,
and I don't know if that's true, but I think
that's what I've been told. I'll find out when I
get there, right let me know, call me from jail
to let me know how much fun I'll be like, Hey,
ian um, do you have a hundred jeeves sitting in
the bank account right now? Because I really need to
get bailed out. Because I showed cleavage. I showed the
(17:20):
space in between my eyes and they told me I couldn't.
I left the hotel without invisilion and that's legal here.
They're like, I'm sorry, ma'am, you don't have it's sheer
showing too much skin, including teeth. All right, Well, I
guess we'll just keep it moving. Huh. Also, I'm sorry,
(17:42):
but do you think these these parents should be punished
for letting their kids bring accidentally tequila to school? I
put accidentally in air quotes because we don't really no,
I mean, you know kids are gonna do ship almost accidentally.
My brothers and sisters almost killed our younger sister when
(18:04):
we were younger. My parents shouldn't be punished for that.
I agree. Also, someone just ring my doorbell, and I
feel like this is the beginning of a true crime episode,
like an actual one. So imagine I leave the podcast
to go check my door and then I never come
back and just slashes of blood all over the background
(18:25):
of my my poster that says dead on it. What
am I supposed to do? Now? What's going on? Yeah,
you're like, hey, guys, So I'm Leo Lamar and this
is real time crime the show m go on, Hey guys,
I'm going to leave. You all saw that I was
in Austin and had nothing to do with this. You
(18:46):
had an alibi, But what if you're actually in the
other room. Mean, I wouldn't kill you on screen? One?
Am an idiot? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, smart smart? Alright, moving on,
you guys, remember were the story about the very tragic
story about the young boys fourteen who died after falling
from the Thrill ride on Florida last month. So they
(19:09):
did a couple of checks to figure out what actually happened.
They started investigating the crime scene and the actual mechanics
of the ride and what quest Engineering found that the
adjustment to the seat that Tyree Sampson fell from prevented
safety sensors from shutting the ride down, even though the
(19:31):
space between the seat and the harness was too wide.
Apparently it was only his seat, which is just so crazy.
So the report confirmed the Department's findings, and an operator
of the Orlando Drop Tower made manual adjustments to the ride,
resulting in it being unsafe. So neither Free nor the
(19:53):
reports specified when the sensors were changed or who specifically
made the adjustment fishy a f in my opinion, in
because everyone's so afraid they're gonna get blamed. The ride
did not experience any kind of mechanical or electrical failure.
Quests investigation found, according to the report, to safety lights
that are meant to illuminate once the seats, harness is
secured in a certain position must be activated for the
(20:16):
ride to operate, but the gap between Samson's seat and
harness was found to be over twice as big as
the average gap in twenty seven of the other seats
of the ride, But due to the adjustment that had
been made to the plate that houses the proximity sensors,
the safety lights were still illuminated, allowing the right to
operate normally. The investigation concluded that had the plate been
(20:38):
in its original position, the space between Samson's seat enclosed
harness would have been the same as the other twenty
seven seats on the ride. This is crazy. So it's
almost like the I don't know if you heard about
this case. Ian, thanks for bringing me on your podcast
to bring me down Jesus Christ, like funny after telling
me about the death of how fun at your comedy show?
(21:01):
What type of what type of sad ship? Is this weird?
And then I'm supposed to make something fun out of this? Oh?
Thank you? Like how bring me on to be insensitive? No? No,
we don't really laugh about the death. I mean I
used to, but you know, no, this one's really sad.
(21:22):
All the deaths are sad, yeah, but but I mean
this one is particularly so there's no one. It seems
like there's no operator to blame because they had no
way of realizing that it was incorrectly adjusted because the
safety lights were still illuminated. But it's like they need
(21:43):
to find out who adjusted it, who left it that way?
Were they planning on coming back to fix in? They
just didn't think anything bad would happen. I don't know,
I I do you think the ride should be shut
down after this? I mean, listen, First of all, the
only person is happy about what you just read is operated.
He's like or she's like, who like this? Saying on me?
(22:04):
This is above my pay grade. This is some technical ship.
When I signed up a week ago for this job,
you told me if this this and this happened, we're
good to go. I'm not a mechanic. I don't know
how ship works. I'm just an underpaid person getting a
little getting minimum wage to to operate the ride and
press the button. If there's no senses go off and
(22:27):
then after that, but should they operate? Like? What place
was this? This was in Florida obviously, and what uh?
What adventure land place was? This was the name of
the thing. It's a at Orlando's Icon Perk. Yeah see,
(22:49):
and it was the Orlando free Fall Ride. Come on,
you're you're trying to trap me into saying something instance Ship,
I'm not. You said it's the it's the free Fall ride.
Like this is this sounds like a set up for
(23:10):
puns that will come back to haunt me. Oh, I'm
haunted by this podcast every day. Well Ship, I'm just
gonna let's lead this. I would never ride that ride.
How about that? No, I would never go on a
free fall ride in the first place, It's like, why
are we signing up for it? Sounds so scary? Yeah, Like,
(23:32):
why am I paying for scary ship? Like I'm only
paying for pleasure. I mean. The other thing is, I
was just thinking about going skydiving the other day, and
I was like, why am I thinking about jumping out
of an airplane? To my possible to minds, it just
sounds like I'm doing fine in life. I don't need
to sign any waivers, you know. Yeah, I don't need
thrills like I need ship. Like you said you're gonna
(23:55):
besa Orbisa? How would be pronounce it? Yeah? I don't
know you and apparently aren't allowed to even say it, right,
I'll just write it in the chat where you going?
But that's the only spot or places like that. That's
the only places I'm spending money on that I don't
need to be scared into having fun. I'm good. Well
that's so interesting because then I was like, well, how
(24:16):
do I still fly without flying out of an airplane?
And then I found this place called I Fly, which
is an indoor skydiving tunnel. WHOA did I just didn't
demon just come out of my throat? Yes, thank you. Um,
I just got I exercised a demon everyone on this podcast.
(24:37):
Maybe I'll be normal after this. Doubtful anyway. So it's
a wind tunnel that propels you into the air and
you fly inside. And the sad thing is I was like, yeah,
I mean, I'm leaving for a trip next week and
I can't really afford to break my neck today, but
I would. I'd like to go fly. I'm just too scared. Listen,
(24:58):
you've taken a chance. It's on a flight to Europe.
That's your skydiving. You don't need to and don't freak
me out. I mean no, I mean, that's that's the risk.
Every time. I think we've normalized, like the risk of
flying to the point that it's not a thrill anymore.
Like a few decades ago, you've got a plane. Everybody
like it's like the launch of a space shuttle. You know,
(25:22):
your whole family go to the airport to see you
often because it was the last time they saw you.
You might as well be skydiving, so you just have
sex with strangers before you go. You're like, well, I'm
taking a flight smart of Cincinnati. Could be my last.
It could be my last. I still tell people that,
and that's how you get laid. Yeah, this could be
my last flight. You know how planes be crashing and stuff.
(25:44):
You can't want to you know, anything could happen, you
know what I mean. Yeah, I could make it there
and then never speak to you again. You know I could.
I could accidentally follow you. So let's just do this now. Okay,
Guys on that note, we're gonna take a quick break.
Don't touch that dial. We'll be right back. And don't
(26:06):
commit a crime while waiting for us to come back,
because we're gonna be talk about Johnny Depp and neighbor
heard b RB and welcome back to a real time
crime you little social sleuth, sim your host Lee Lamar,
(26:28):
and we have with with this today. I can't speak.
Thanks in Visilinne we have with us today, Ian Edwards, Ian,
they look so good, but I can't speak. You were
so eloquent when your teeth were crooked, but it was
good at old days. Yeah. I really looked so horrible,
(26:50):
but I sounded so excellent. You know, I really had
had a face for radio back then. H But now
that I have a face for video, it's like people
would rather not hear me speak. Yeah, you don't have
a voice for radio, but hey, many they're just gonna
fire you. Maybe, but maybe I'll find a husband because
(27:12):
I'm like, oh, she hasn't really talk, but she's cute.
That's exactly what I've been looking for. And that's honestly
what's been getting me in trouble all these years is
you know, they were like, oh, I don't want to
look at her, and she's annoying. But now it's just one.
At least you get you one in one department. But
now I'm hot. Yeah. Anyway, I always think about the
(27:33):
fact that, you know, how when people die or get
murdered or whatever it is. I don't know why I
said it like that, but whatever it is that kills
them whatever, you know, they always find people's teeth. Yeah,
and they match it to their dental records to identify
their body. I thought about this million times. I'm like,
but my teeth have changed so much, maybe they won't
even know it's me. How do they know who your
(27:54):
dentist is? Well, that's the first person they call. No,
how do they know you die? They posted on Instagram?
They say, who's responsible for this person's teeth? They make
a TikTok about it. Who's been ripping this person off?
We need to know so we can identify them. Oh boy,
all right, you guys speaking of getting ripped off. I
(28:17):
don't know why that felt like a good segue, but
here we are. You guys have all heard about the
Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial by Now if you haven't,
you've been under a rock, which is fine. I will
take you out from under the rock. Let's dust it off.
So Johnny Depp and Amber Herd started dating in early
after meeting on the set of The Rum Diary a
(28:37):
few years earlier. They were married, and just fifteen months
later it was over classic Hollywood story. Heard filed for
divorce and a restraining order. Appearing in a l A
court with a bruised cheek, She said Depp had violently
attacked her and thrown a mobile phone at her face
with extreme force. There were other alleged instances of harassment
(29:01):
as well, excessive emotional, verbal, and physical abuse, she wrote
in court filings, angry, hostile, humiliating, and threatening assaults. Johnny
Depp denied this. A judge then granted her a temporary
restraining order, but hours before a civil trial over the
order was to begin. She and the Pirates of the
Caribbean Star released a joint statement saying that they had
(29:22):
put their dispute to rest. So so interesting. Then Johnny
Depp gave amber Heard seven million dollars as part of
their divorce settlement, which she pledged to donate to the
a c l U. Something that well, apparently his team
is saying that she never donated the money because I
heard that while ago, Yeah, and then back in she
(29:44):
wrote an essay for The Washington Post in which she
described herself as a public figure representing domestic abuse, Although
the article never mentioned him by name, his attorneys previously
said in court documents that Herd's op ed was all
part of an elaborate hoax. The Pirates of a Caribbean
Star also claimed in court documents that Heard concocted her
story in the hopes of generating positive publicity and to
(30:07):
advance her career. Days before the trial, she made a
rare statement on Instagram announcing a break from social media.
Johnny is suing me for an op ed I wrote
in The Washington Post in which I recounted my experience
of violence and domestic abuse. She wrote, in April nine,
I wrote about the price women pay for speaking out
against men in power. I continue to pay that price,
(30:28):
but hopefully when this case concludes, I can move on,
and so can Johnny Woof. Okay, so what's happening now?
On a text messages between Depth and his neighbor Isaac
Burr were revealed in court, and the text said, I
hope that Amber's rotten corpse is decomposing in a skin
truck of a Honda Civic. First of all, why are
(30:54):
we coming after Honda? Yea Honda, the shitty car. Yeah
should end up in like I can feel like they're
reliable number one. And I had a Honda one time,
and it took me everywhere early in my career and
saved me on a lot of nights. So I'm against
Johnny Depp for coming for Honda like that. I mean,
(31:16):
I I take that personal. That's you know, the trunk
of a Honda likes it's the worst place you could be.
That's how you know how rich Johnny Depp is that
he doesn't live in reality to find out that Honda
is not the worst possible car you could have. Yeah,
exactly like he he looks down on Honda's Yeah, he's
like Tesla disgusting. Like, yeah, I'm like, I have a
(31:40):
Honda right now, f you, Johnny. You know I'm taking
this personally. It's like, this isn't a four Torus. It's
not a Toyota Corolla for us. The trunks of Honda's
pretty comfortable, so he's obviously never rotted in one before,
and you know, it's very sporty back there. There's sometimes plugs,
(32:03):
so you could, you know, be at the beach and
use your computer and have a beach chair back there,
and you can do a lot of stuff in a Honda.
So disrespect Honda should sue Johnny Depp. Not only do
I agree, but I think he ruined his chance of
having a sponsorship from Honda. Absolutely. But you know, any
press is good pressed as they say, what is rotten
(32:25):
the trunk of Honda type? Like what if Honda does
use that in the next advertising campaign, They're like, come
raw in the back of our trunk. Yeah, Honda Civic
the car for you. You gotta you got a body
to bury, get a Honda Civic. Yeah. Don't you know
we can work for anyone. Families, happy couples and couples
(32:51):
that don't get along, you know, Honda mostly that last one. Yeah,
you plan on dying together because I got there for you.
I'm trying to find out what the Honda slogan is. Um,
maybe it's like the unhelpful Honda dealer. He's like, Hey,
(33:12):
do you want to die in the back of your
own car? I'll even close the trunk for you for
low a pr of three exactly. So moving on, while
you look up Honda's statement during opening statements, hers attorney
Ben rotten Born. That's so odd. Yeah, we're talking about
(33:33):
rotting in a trunk and his name is Rottenborn. It's
a a little much for me. Also, like what last
name is that. It sounds like it's mixed between a
Jewish and born again Christian. He sounds like he's rich
enough to know that he should change his name and
can afford it. And he is an attorney and should
have done that. This is an LS Island situation. Yeah,
what's going on? Yeah, So he claimed that Amber Heard
(34:09):
suffered sexual violence at the hands of Johnny Depp, and
he also alleged that the actress suffered domestic abuse by
depth that took many forms, including physical emotional, verbal, and psychological. Obviously,
Johnny Depp's spokesperson denied these allegations, saying this follows a
pattern of her elaborate, erroneous claims which have continued to
change and evolve over time for the purpose of Hollywood
(34:31):
shock value, of which Amber has mastered and used to
exploit a serious social movement. So these are big claims
coming from both parties obviously, and apparently their therapists. Their
their therapists that they had together testified on April fourteen,
saying that the couple engaged in mutual abuse and then
depths long time doctor David Kipper participated in deposition that
(34:55):
was played on April eighteenth, So this is just two
days ago, you guys. And this was recorded in February,
recalling treating him for having a severed fingertip. If you
have been obsessed with this case like I have, I'm
sure you've heard about the infamous fingertip bloody fingertip writing
I love you in a mirror with blood all over
the place. I mean, this is also crazy, right, And
(35:19):
then the other side is saying that, okay, let me
just keep going. Well, it's just you know, I love
the Hollywood horror show. Right, well, what are your feelings
on this ship? Like you might have said it to
other people before or people on this show, but I've
never heard it. What do you think? What's it do? Yeah,
(35:45):
So it's interesting because there's also allegations saying that Amber
threw a bottle at him which sliced his finger open.
Other people are saying that he cut it himself, and
I think that's what he said to the doctor, which
might have been a cover up at the time. This
is just one of those situations, in my opinion, where
they probably weren't right for each other. They were probably
(36:08):
very physically interested in each other. Maybe there's like a
lustful relationship, and then when you realize you're not right
with someone, or there's some sort of cheating or other
people involved or whatever it is. I think that people
then start to act differently, and that can turn into manipulation,
(36:29):
that can turn into control tactics, that can turn into
icing someone out and stonewalling them, and emotional abuse, physical abuse,
and when you stay in something for too long, especially
you know, there are a lot of situations where people
just turned to violence. So in this situation, you know,
we've heard Amber's lied. We've also heard that, John. I
(36:51):
mean the fact that the therapist is saying mutual abuse
sounds like everyone's in the wrong. Yeah. I feel like
the only thing they did right was break up. Hilarious,
That's the only thing that they did right. And the
therapist is like, this is a tie, like both these
motherfuckers she stay away from each other. But it's like, yeah,
(37:14):
I'm gonna go with the therapist on this, like he
or she did not pick a side. I don't like
the neighbor snitching about texting, like Johnny Depp text the neighbor. Yeah,
snitches get stitches in their finger that severed, Well Johnny did. Yeah,
(37:34):
But yeah, this is this is just crazy and they
shouldn't be together. Well, they're definitely not together. But you know,
she went on the cover of People magazine with a
dark bruise on her face. You know, Johnny Depp also
has He's got children, Lily rose up and jacked up
um with his other ex Vanessa parodies. But what does
(37:58):
she saying this? She have any stories of being abused
by death? I think she was supposed to take the
stand and then I read something about I could be
wrong on this so we'll have to do a fact check.
But apparently she was supposed to take the stand, and
then someone on Amber heard side was in the courtroom
(38:22):
and overlooked over her shoulder to see someone showing her
um on her phone, Like Vanessa was looking on her
phone at some sort of information about the trial. And
if you do that, then your testimony is no longer
able to be used. And so they dismissed her from
able from being able to understand. But apparently it was
(38:44):
like an old trial. Yeah, so she wasn't allowed to testify.
I mean, this sounds so messy and at this point,
I mean, so by the way, Johnny Depp lost the
first round and the first round, what do you mean
they're in a boxing ring? Um In a libel trial
(39:06):
set in the UK, Johnny sued Amber for fifty million
dollars over the op edge she wrote in The Washington Post,
which which she claimed to be a victim of domestic abuse,
and then she sued him back for a hundred million
with a counterclaim. Yeah. The defamation trial is expected to
feature painful accusations of domestic abuse. It will be broadcast
(39:28):
live and involve a number of high profile witnesses, including me.
You the two most high profile James Franco, which I'm like,
wasn't he canceled for some sort of like I can't believe,
I don't know. I mean the side of sexual abuse
Paul Bettany and Elon Musk. Well, wait till you hear this.
(39:54):
This is also not confirmed information. So don't go run
around telling people this as a fact. This is not
confirmed information that you're telling me on a podcast. Go ahead,
I'm listening right right right. This is again not confirmed information.
This is like, oh, Leah and Ian are married, and
then people just go and tell people that we're married
(40:15):
even though we're not yet. But they're still time. It's
still time. They're still time until the apocalypse hits in
about two hours. But okay, so apparently this is so crazy.
There is a fury that Amber and Ellen made embryos
(40:35):
together and Ellen wanted to have the embryos destroyed and
Amber did not. And people are saying that there is
a child that they think is the spawn of Amber
and Elon. This sounds like some and like they would
(41:00):
the kid be m like it has Amber ever had
a kid? And how did she did she meet up?
Did this happen before her and debt like this, This
was at some point in between Grimes and Depth, Grimes
and Death. That's a period in history, you know, that's
(41:24):
an official in history, Grimes and Depth. What were you doing?
What were you doing during Grimes and Death? Like I
was moving to Los Angeles from New York, changing career, past,
becoming a comic. A lot happened for me. What about
you during Grimes and Debt? I was I was in
the middle of one of those writing childs that you mentioned,
(41:47):
probably going through a breakup myself and uh having one
of the embryos unfrozen with you, and neighbor heard, yeah,
there you go. She she actually said, no, there's no
way are Ambery was going to get unfrozen. I would
never have a baby with you, And that was like
for it. So it's a really big smack in the face.
So she's doing you because you unfrozen them because I
(42:10):
wanted to unfrozen free something. I'm actually hurt that she
unfrozen embryos with Ellen and didn't want unfrozen. That had
hurts to be honest. Yeah, she sounds a speaking of
pregnancies and issues. I did just read earlier today on
I Heart Radio Instagram that Asap Rocky was arrested upon
(42:33):
arriving back from vacation with Brianna off their private jet
and that story is developing. I just want to throw
that out there. And why did they say he got arrested?
Was one of the t s A person was really
uh Rihanna fan and believes that he did cheat, that
he did cheat on her. I think that there was
some sort of gun violence that people believe he may
(42:56):
or may not have been involved in. Hey, SAP wasn't
a saplattop in Europe, a SAP blocky, It was the
lack of Europe during the Trump administration. Yeah, you know,
you really need to get a president who supports rappers.
(43:17):
Now Trump has to get him out of t s
A now hilarious. So, just so everyone's aware, the most
up to date news from the Johnny Depp amber Heard
case happened today. M hm. So it went more into
the finger story. So the alleged explosive fight between them
(43:39):
and his mangled finger, we're all brought up today. And
apparently during his witness testimony, he recalled an infamous alleged
fight that happened between him and heard while in Australia
for work in March. He held up his right hand
to show his funny looking middle finger, which appeared slightly shorter.
(44:03):
He testified that her thirty five through a vodka bottle
at him and went past his head. Then after he
drank a shot from another bottle, It's like, are they
just refilming Pirates of the Caribbean? He said. She grabbed
the larger bottle and again through it, making contact with
his hand resting on the bar top. Blood was pouring out.
He said, I think I went into some sort of
I don't know what a nervous breakdown feels like, but
(44:24):
that's probably the closest thing that I've ever had to it.
Nothing made sense in that state of mind. Depp began
writing on the walls in his own blood. He said,
he wrote little reminders from our past that essentially represented
lies that heard had told me, lies that I had
caught her in. Depp said he hid in the bathroom
and called his doctor when he was taken to the
hospital to treat his quote unquote mangled finger, which apparently
(44:45):
they showed graphic photos of in the courtroom, and then
he said he told the doctor had happened when his
finger was caught in large accordion doors. So like, even
after being so angry at her, he was still trying
to save face or not get her are in trouble.
A lot of this doesn't add up on both ants, right.
It sounds like you show up to court with a bruise,
(45:08):
I'll show them a seven finger. This is like Sean
Connery and the Untouchables, where they killed one of ours,
we killed two of theirs. It's like, whatever, whatever bruise
you show, I'll show you. I'll show them how you
bruise me more. Then she shows up with an embryo
and she's like, well, well, you know, they just keep
one up in each other, Just keep one up in
(45:29):
each other. Like it's this is like, just call us
a draw and end this unless people want to continue
to be entertained. Is that court trial really gonna be
like broadcast with you bullshit? I'm wondering it is going
to be broadcast. I'm wondering what they're promoting after this.
You know heard hav a new movie coming out. It's
(45:52):
Mayweather promoting this like this is the fight of the
century century for couples. Jeez, yeah, this is better than
reality television. Not that I watch reality TV, but I mean, Okay,
So when all of a sudden done, let's say Johnny
Depp wins, mm hmm, do you think he's still able
(46:14):
to work in Hollywood or gets another job or is
he just done? Uh? If he wins, I feel like
there's people who want to work with him but can't
because it makes him look bad. So him winning will
give people an excuse to be like, let's let's put
you back to work. And if he loses, he becomes
(46:36):
a comic. He has to start at Burger King first, though.
You can't just jump right in there. Somebody has to
drive by and tell them off. Okay, he's funny. You
can't just start comedy or willy nilly. There's there is
uh set of rules and a structure, and he has
to follow it. And and he has to go to
(46:58):
work at Burger King every day and drive home and
is Honda until it's Honda Civic with Ronning corpse in
the back. Yes. But you know what's so funny is
when I look at all the people who do comedy,
half of these people, I'm like, you're here because you've
got canceled and it's the only way you can work,
not half four. This is like really who just kidding?
(47:28):
It would never make it? But name names in name names?
I yeah, No, I feel I feel like a bunch
of people. Are you know whatever? Anyway more all of
the story, Johnny Depp, we will welcome you with open
arms at the comedy store and across comedy clubs all
over the country. I don't know, well if I think
(47:49):
I have an answer, but apparently a lot of what
I've what I've heard is that a lot of people
say that Amber has been on a hint and was
using this to further her career. And I also know
that the therapist is saying they're mutually insane. So I
(48:12):
don't know who's bet Are you on the side of
the truth, whatever the truth is? But wow, that was
such a diplomatic answer. Are you in DC right now?
Or the light answer? No? I agree. I think we'll
get to the bottom of this. I mean, because obviously
I believe in support women, but the fact that the
(48:33):
therapists said that they were mutually abusing each other isn't
really a good look for anyone, right right, So maybe
everyone's to blame here. Yeah, it takes two to tangle,
you know what I mean, And it takes one to Mango.
Know they're going to arrest you at the airport when
you try to go to you know, we saw you
(48:56):
say it takes one to Mango and we're gonna unstamped
your passport and we're taking your skydiving. Yeah, yeah, I'm
so sorry, but you're actually canceled from comedy for a
really bad joke and we never want you to be
able to say a Betha. Sounds like you said it right. Yeah,
you guys. We'll keep you updated on the Johnny Depp
(49:18):
Amber heard Traumedy. Whatever is happening there? And thanks so
much for doing the podcast today. Where can we find
you on the internet? Uh, go to at the Edwards
Comic on Instagram and at the En Edwards Comic one
on TikTok. I can't believe as a grown man, I'm
telling you my TikTok but at the end was comic one.
(49:40):
It sounds like someone's manager won a battle. Yeah, yep, yep.
You can find me at Leo Lamar with two rs
on Instagram and Twitter and the podcast Real Time Crime Pod.
Then you can find me on TikTok at Leo lamar
with five rs. Stop asking questions. We don't know why,
just bent. So you guys stay safe. Don't commit any
(50:04):
crimes until the next episode. But if you hear of
anything that we should know about, or you got a tip,
call in live. You know the number eight six crime.
That's eight six six to anyone, Come eight six six
to anyone. Come that's eight six six two six three.
Use your real singing voice? Why did you take them
(50:26):
that half as go ahead? Twenty one crime? Damn hilarious
and I'm canceled for singing and for bad jokes today.
Thank you everyone, guys, Stay safe by social sluits love you.
It's real time Crome. It real time cro I mean,
(50:47):
is it actually real time crime? I'm solving anything? Or
is that just the thing? We say it's then we
say got it? Okay, See you next week for more
real time crime, only on I Horror Radio.
Crime, Hello, Social Sluits, and welcome back to another episode
of Real Time Crime. I'm your host, Leo Lamar. Today
we are Dmitri down he's taken care of I guess
what you call them children? And we will be discussing
(00:24):
a lot of hot topics today. One lucky charm is
making people sick. I guess they're unlucky charms. A Michigan
kindergartener bringing tequila to school, the safety sensors on the
Florida free Fall Ride, and of course Johnny Depp and
Amber Heard's defamation trial. Should I say defamation, Well, it's
(00:45):
too late now and as you can already here, We've
got our guest here today with us, you guys. He's
one of my favorite people on planet Earth. He's one
of the funniest people in planet Earth. He's a comic.
He's a writer, producer, actor, podcaster. His debut album, Half
Ast was on Conan O'Brien's record label, Team Coco Records.
(01:06):
He was the first comedian signed to the label. Ian
has appeared numerous times on Comedy Centrals at Midnight TBS
is Conan Comedy Central's other shows. He's just an absolute gem.
The light he's an executive story editor and writing console
on HDOS Crashing co producer on Netflix's Friends from College. Honestly,
(01:28):
I'm I'm getting a little tired of reading all your credits.
If you don't mind, I just would like to skip
the rest of them. In We've got in edwards today. Everyone,
What up, y'all? How are you doing? Why are you
broadcasting from like a layer? Because I'm a detective and
I'm solving a murder mystery. Look dead. This feels like
and it's a mustached man who did it. It's always
the mustache man that I want to have sex with
(01:50):
and also committed the crime. It feels like a zoom
version of the first forty eight The Detective. And I'm
what you just came in and I'm like gonna all
these questions. Well, Ian, I do need to know where
you were on the night of September. Always been performing,
(02:10):
always be performing a BP baby, um I hello, I
love you. And you're in Austin for Moon Tower Comedy.
Mhm were you performing tonight? I mean Antoine's and then
the Velvita Room or something like that. Yeah, great, Antoine's
is cute. So and just so people get to know
(02:34):
you a little better. You know what you just told
them about me? I think you just told him everything.
Go ahead, but how about better? Better? All right? Like
what if there are a ladies listening who want to
date you? All right, you've convinced me. Okay, So Ian,
did you always want to be a comic? Nah? Go on?
(02:58):
Never even occurred to how did this come about for you? Uh?
Like I'm an immigrant, so really yeah, yeah I got.
I came to America and I was like seventeen years
old from Jamaica and I was like working at this
burger king. So this is years I mean working at
burger king. And I'm trying to like, you have to
(03:21):
start your life over you. You don't have no day
one friends, you know what I mean? Like like you
don't know anybody, and even the black people are meeting,
like we don't have regular black shit in common with
each other. Like food is different, sports is different, taste
in music is different. So you have to learn even
(03:44):
black ship. And then there was one guy. He happened
to go to the same high school as me, like
a year ahead of me, but he worked at the
same burger king. Okay, so we met some burger kings
and queens. Yeah, so we're at this white town. But
he was as funny as ship. Like his name is
Greg Ellis and he was just hilarious. And then that's
(04:07):
when I was like, oh, Ship, you can be funny
and like get to know people. So I just seeing
him like I'm putting burghers in behind the broiler, watching
him on fries, just killing it. Was ripping the whole
kitchen apart. I think that's it, crushing the kitchen crushing.
He had a he had a fresh forty five how like,
(04:28):
he had a fresh four hour shifts set ready every day.
That's hilarious. And then I was like, HEIGHT said, then
I started exploring being funny it makes the shifts go faster.
I just kept on doing until I was like the
second funniest dude at Burger King. That should be the
title of your next special. Yeah, because I don't think
(04:48):
I've ever attained like funny like Greg. And then one
day I was like taking orders on the drive through,
and the drive to was like my first mic. I
was just like always hilarious, like taking orders, you know,
somebody comes up to I got a new audience member
every order, and I was like like working on my
(05:09):
drive through material killing and uh, this dude, I took
his order and then when he pulled around, he was like, hey,
was that you took my order? I was like, yeah, yeah,
he said you should do comedy. And then that stranger
changed my life the way he said it, the way
it hit I was like, like, as soon as he
(05:33):
said it, the instant reaction within myself was That's what
I'm doing for the rest of my life. Wow. So
if you're the stranger who told the Ian to do
comedy at the Burger King from back in the day,
please call in and let us know who you are,
because Ian owes you his entire life or all those
(05:53):
credits that at least credits that Leah mentioned. It got exhausting,
and I mean it's like people can just look up
on IMDb. You're also obsessed with soccer? Yeah, yeah, you
have a soccer podcast? Is that still going? Yes? Still going?
Why are you so obsessed with football? I said in
the European way? Yeah, so are you a good soccer player?
(06:19):
So are you a good soccer player? Yeah? But my
knees are like funked up from playing too long, Like
I should have played way past the time I should
have played. Yeah, you know, but you know I say,
I was like came to America from Jamaica, but I
was born in England, so that's their number one sport.
And then Jamaica was a colony of the British, so
(06:42):
that was a sport there. So when I came to America,
like I connected with anybody who played it. So that's
like a through line for me. Like it's always been
like like a place where playing soccer was a place
of home with when I was never felt at home.
So you made friends through comedy, sports and burgers. Greg Ellis,
(07:09):
he's our guy. Yeah, everyone's from Greg Ellis. Me would
not be on this part cast right now. Big ups
to Greg Ellis. He got into the prime of his career,
which is on this podcast today. Okay, so in are
you a true crime fan? No, that's great. I can't
wait to get all your hot takes on our hot
topics for today. We're just gonna dive right in and
(07:31):
feel free to be as insane as to look. I
wish I had more of a filter. I just don't.
And people don't listen to this podcast. Uh to listen
to someone just speak seriously about true crime, so we
just pop off, all right, all right, so our first
hot topic today. F DA is investigating Lucky Charms after
(07:52):
over a hundred people complain of vomiting after eating it.
First of all, shut the up, stop eating candy for
breakfast and maybe you won't vomit. I mean, how are
people just now vomiting? How resolute with people's stomachs that
(08:14):
they didn't vomit before? And I always wanted to eat
Lucy Joms when I was a kid, but that's that
was one of those high brands my parents weren't going
to spend the money on. Yeah, it's like eating Jolly Branches.
So goddamn breakfast. Why you're having dessert for breakfast? Yeah, Like,
I have no sympathy for these people. So apparently, the
(08:35):
US Food and Drug Administration said Saturday received more than
a hundred complaints related to Lucky Charms so far this year.
So that's a hundred complaints over the course of like
four and a half months. While it is rare for
people to get sick for meating breakfast cereal because cereals
baked cereal can be contaminated after it's bake, typically when
the puffs are glazed with a sugary coating, or when
(08:56):
it is packaged, food safety experts set. Several hundred people
have also posted on a food safety website, I was
poison dot com, oh complaining of nausea, diarrhea, and vomiting
after eating Lucky Charms. This is actually my second time
experienced symptoms after eating Lucky Charms, and I'm certain it
(09:17):
is the cause. One person from Ohio reported on I
was poison dot Com having extreme abdominal pains. I am
holding onto the remaining cereal left in the box and
hoping to get it tested soon, they wrote, complaining they
said that this pain was something else. How are we
not all going out from body Lucky Charms right now
so that we can join this lawsuit? Like? What am
(09:39):
I doing here? Yeah? We we gotta run. We gotta run,
not walk. Hold on a second, let me talk to
my fake assistant. Hey, get me five boxes of Lucky
Charms stat thank you. Apparently Patrick Quaid, the founder of
the I was poison dot Com website, I feel like
we're sponsored by them. Now, have you recently been poisoned
by a cereal? Win us and I was poison dot com?
(10:01):
Is your ex boyfriend trying to murder you by sneaking
poison into your food. I'm gonna get a billboard, you
know those those that's the Lucky Charms lawyer. This is yeah.
Patrick Quaid said that over three thousand reports came in
across the country of people saying that they got sick.
It's like, uh, first of all, I feel like Lucky
(10:22):
Charms are outdated. You know, it's after all of this
COVID stuff and people being like, oh, ob City kills
more people than COVID, which who knows if that's true
or not. I'm like, why are we still loving? You
know what? I don't know. I'm not I'm not a scientist.
I'm just um. I could google it, but I'd rather
(10:44):
just gues estimate and not give false information. But you know,
it's like, why are we allowing kids to eat marshmallows
at breakfast? I mean, how is this part of a
balanced diet. It's just it's just listen, I feel like
the only thing, the only people Lucky Charms has been
lucky for this long is Lucky Charms. So for them
(11:06):
to have not been sued or any one of those
sugary ass suit cereals have not been sued before this.
They've all been lucky, like get get it together, Food
Producers and co Operations of America stop poisoning us. Yeah,
unlucky charms. There. New campaign is magically diarrhea. Yeah exactly.
(11:29):
It's like eating technic for breakfast. Well, sometimes you got
to get it out. You know, it could be better
than coffee. Yeah, I mean I don't drink coffee either.
Have you ever been to a Taco Bell drive through
and seeing if they were funnier than you? I've gone
there to scout for talent, for new talent. I mean
(11:52):
I could see you just going hopping drive through hopping,
just going from drive through to drive through to see
if there's anyone that you will pass on this gift
of telling that they should do comedy too. Yeah. When
I pull up and everybody given my food, I'm like, nah,
you don't got it, and just pull off and leave
the food there, and you just leave them mystified for
the rest and like don't go what what? Oh god? What? Yeah?
(12:15):
They have no idea. It was like why would someone
order and then not and just drive by and not
pick up their order? Yeah, and you're driving de Lorean
and They're like, did this guy just drop in from
the future. Yeah? Yeah, Speaking of finding the one, a
Michigan kindergartener brings tequila to school and shares it with classmates,
(12:38):
and it's found by the teacher. Some parents are outraged
after learning a kindergartener brought alcohol to school. According to
NBC fifteen, the Michigan students shared a bottle of Jose
Quervil mix with ten percent alcohol content with four students
at Grand River Academy before a teacher stepped in to
stop it. One parent, Alexas Smith, told the outlet she
got a call from the school alerting her that her
(13:00):
daughter was one of them. There were so many thoughts
turning through my mind, like, oh my god, you know
what if it was open before the girl got to school?
How much was it? She said? She's asking how much.
She's like, oh my god, did she get a deal
in it? Because she's young? Apparently what you're supposed to
do with tequila like share it. I felt like this
(13:21):
kid has yeah, yeah, he brought or she brought tequila
to school. But they've they've done things that parents have
been trying to get people to do for a long
The other kids to do for a long time, like
to share. And I just did they have shot glasses?
Did they poured into other kids cooks? Like? How does
(13:43):
this kid want to be the next Tom Cruise bartender?
Like what's going on here? Or Andy Cohen? Yeah, just
really preparing for the role of a lifetime getting to
be a bartender. Behind the scenes on the show. Well,
I think what's interesting is there's saying the teachers saying, oh,
it's unfortunate that these types of adult beverages can easily
(14:04):
be be mistaken for child friendly drinks. It's like, no,
I'm sorry. If your kid is bringing Jose Quervo mix
with alcohol, it's not a child friendly drink. This person
has clearly watched two alcohol parents, alcoholic parents down some drinks.
They know how to mix it with first of all, disgusting, say,
(14:25):
I sound like a kid knows how to have a
good time, and what is the problem here. The kid
is a very observant, pays attention, and he he came
to school and brought some ship And I would love
to go to college with this kid. It sounds like
it would be fun just to have fun, to do
kindergarden over and to have fun with this kid. Yeah,
(14:47):
I'd love to go to rehab with this kid. I
didn't know. They shouldn't let Bert christ shot back in school.
They shouldn't let most comedians back in school. Also, I
keep Okay, So I finally got my INVISI line out.
I know this is such a tangent, but because I'm
not using the trays anymore, I'm used to lisping, and
(15:08):
now I literally don't know how to speak. Like my
mouth it's not the same. Something is wrong here, but
I can't get words out. I feel like now I
have a permanent list, and I'm thinking about every word
as I say it, and I'm stumbling over my words
and it's very confusing. But I guess this is the
price I have to pay for having straight teeth. That's
so funny because you get there's a line, so you'll
(15:30):
become more attractive, but it makes you attractive one way
and unattractive in another way. It gives you a list, right, thanks, Dot,
it's a really double edged sword. Yeah, that's awardness. You know,
it's so funny. I'm going to Avisa next week. And
I was talking to my friend Yeah, and I was like, oh,
I'm going to Abisa and she's like, wait, have you
been before? And I was like no, and she's like,
(15:51):
oh yeah, so you get to say abisa until you've
been there. And I was like, okay, that's pretty funny.
And by when I say I was talking to my friend,
I meant me that was a conversation I had with myself.
And I don't know why you have to inform me
that I know anyway. So I think we're going to
(16:14):
Bisa for a week, Croatia for a week and a half,
and then Dubai for a comedy festival for a week.
Are you going to that comedy festival in Dubai. Yeah.
Someone told me the funniest joke about Dubai that was,
it's not this is not my joke. To be clear,
(16:34):
Dubai was built by a rapper but lives under the
rules of the rappers. Mom, it's kind of funny. I
get that. That's funny. If you had laughed, I would
have been like, just kidding, that's my joke because those
places have so many rules. Yeah, because it's like you
you can't do anything. Men and women aren't allowed to
(16:56):
touch like women are in burkas. You can't be too sexy,
and I don't know if that's true, but I think
that's what I've been told. I'll find out when I
get there, right let me know, call me from jail
to let me know how much fun I'll be like, Hey,
ian um, do you have a hundred jeeves sitting in
the bank account right now? Because I really need to
get bailed out. Because I showed cleavage. I showed the
(17:20):
space in between my eyes and they told me I couldn't.
I left the hotel without invisilion and that's legal here.
They're like, I'm sorry, ma'am, you don't have it's sheer
showing too much skin, including teeth. All right, Well, I
guess we'll just keep it moving. Huh. Also, I'm sorry,
(17:42):
but do you think these these parents should be punished
for letting their kids bring accidentally tequila to school? I
put accidentally in air quotes because we don't really no,
I mean, you know kids are gonna do ship almost accidentally.
My brothers and sisters almost killed our younger sister when
(18:04):
we were younger. My parents shouldn't be punished for that.
I agree. Also, someone just ring my doorbell, and I
feel like this is the beginning of a true crime episode,
like an actual one. So imagine I leave the podcast
to go check my door and then I never come
back and just slashes of blood all over the background
(18:25):
of my my poster that says dead on it. What
am I supposed to do? Now? What's going on? Yeah,
you're like, hey, guys, So I'm Leo Lamar and this
is real time crime the show m go on, Hey guys,
I'm going to leave. You all saw that I was
in Austin and had nothing to do with this. You
(18:46):
had an alibi, But what if you're actually in the
other room. Mean, I wouldn't kill you on screen? One?
Am an idiot? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, smart smart? Alright, moving on,
you guys, remember were the story about the very tragic
story about the young boys fourteen who died after falling
from the Thrill ride on Florida last month. So they
(19:09):
did a couple of checks to figure out what actually happened.
They started investigating the crime scene and the actual mechanics
of the ride and what quest Engineering found that the
adjustment to the seat that Tyree Sampson fell from prevented
safety sensors from shutting the ride down, even though the
(19:31):
space between the seat and the harness was too wide.
Apparently it was only his seat, which is just so crazy.
So the report confirmed the Department's findings, and an operator
of the Orlando Drop Tower made manual adjustments to the ride,
resulting in it being unsafe. So neither Free nor the
(19:53):
reports specified when the sensors were changed or who specifically
made the adjustment fishy a f in my opinion, in
because everyone's so afraid they're gonna get blamed. The ride
did not experience any kind of mechanical or electrical failure.
Quests investigation found, according to the report, to safety lights
that are meant to illuminate once the seats, harness is
secured in a certain position must be activated for the
(20:16):
ride to operate, but the gap between Samson's seat and
harness was found to be over twice as big as
the average gap in twenty seven of the other seats
of the ride, But due to the adjustment that had
been made to the plate that houses the proximity sensors,
the safety lights were still illuminated, allowing the right to
operate normally. The investigation concluded that had the plate been
(20:38):
in its original position, the space between Samson's seat enclosed
harness would have been the same as the other twenty
seven seats on the ride. This is crazy. So it's
almost like the I don't know if you heard about
this case. Ian, thanks for bringing me on your podcast
to bring me down Jesus Christ, like funny after telling
me about the death of how fun at your comedy show?
(21:01):
What type of what type of sad ship? Is this weird?
And then I'm supposed to make something fun out of this? Oh?
Thank you? Like how bring me on to be insensitive? No? No,
we don't really laugh about the death. I mean I
used to, but you know, no, this one's really sad.
(21:22):
All the deaths are sad, yeah, but but I mean
this one is particularly so there's no one. It seems
like there's no operator to blame because they had no
way of realizing that it was incorrectly adjusted because the
safety lights were still illuminated. But it's like they need
(21:43):
to find out who adjusted it, who left it that way?
Were they planning on coming back to fix in? They
just didn't think anything bad would happen. I don't know,
I I do you think the ride should be shut
down after this? I mean, listen, First of all, the
only person is happy about what you just read is operated.
He's like or she's like, who like this? Saying on me?
(22:04):
This is above my pay grade. This is some technical ship.
When I signed up a week ago for this job,
you told me if this this and this happened, we're
good to go. I'm not a mechanic. I don't know
how ship works. I'm just an underpaid person getting a
little getting minimum wage to to operate the ride and
press the button. If there's no senses go off and
(22:27):
then after that, but should they operate? Like? What place
was this? This was in Florida obviously, and what uh?
What adventure land place was? This was the name of
the thing. It's a at Orlando's Icon Perk. Yeah see,
(22:49):
and it was the Orlando free Fall Ride. Come on,
you're you're trying to trap me into saying something instance Ship,
I'm not. You said it's the it's the free Fall ride.
Like this is this sounds like a set up for
(23:10):
puns that will come back to haunt me. Oh, I'm
haunted by this podcast every day. Well Ship, I'm just
gonna let's lead this. I would never ride that ride.
How about that? No, I would never go on a
free fall ride in the first place, It's like, why
are we signing up for it? Sounds so scary? Yeah, Like,
(23:32):
why am I paying for scary ship? Like I'm only
paying for pleasure. I mean. The other thing is, I
was just thinking about going skydiving the other day, and
I was like, why am I thinking about jumping out
of an airplane? To my possible to minds, it just
sounds like I'm doing fine in life. I don't need
to sign any waivers, you know. Yeah, I don't need
thrills like I need ship. Like you said you're gonna
(23:55):
besa Orbisa? How would be pronounce it? Yeah? I don't
know you and apparently aren't allowed to even say it, right,
I'll just write it in the chat where you going?
But that's the only spot or places like that. That's
the only places I'm spending money on that I don't
need to be scared into having fun. I'm good. Well
that's so interesting because then I was like, well, how
(24:16):
do I still fly without flying out of an airplane?
And then I found this place called I Fly, which
is an indoor skydiving tunnel. WHOA did I just didn't
demon just come out of my throat? Yes, thank you. Um,
I just got I exercised a demon everyone on this podcast.
(24:37):
Maybe I'll be normal after this. Doubtful anyway. So it's
a wind tunnel that propels you into the air and
you fly inside. And the sad thing is I was like, yeah,
I mean, I'm leaving for a trip next week and
I can't really afford to break my neck today, but
I would. I'd like to go fly. I'm just too scared. Listen,
(24:58):
you've taken a chance. It's on a flight to Europe.
That's your skydiving. You don't need to and don't freak
me out. I mean no, I mean, that's that's the risk.
Every time. I think we've normalized, like the risk of
flying to the point that it's not a thrill anymore.
Like a few decades ago, you've got a plane. Everybody
like it's like the launch of a space shuttle. You know,
(25:22):
your whole family go to the airport to see you
often because it was the last time they saw you.
You might as well be skydiving, so you just have
sex with strangers before you go. You're like, well, I'm
taking a flight smart of Cincinnati. Could be my last.
It could be my last. I still tell people that,
and that's how you get laid. Yeah, this could be
my last flight. You know how planes be crashing and stuff.
(25:44):
You can't want to you know, anything could happen, you
know what I mean. Yeah, I could make it there
and then never speak to you again. You know I could.
I could accidentally follow you. So let's just do this now. Okay,
Guys on that note, we're gonna take a quick break.
Don't touch that dial. We'll be right back. And don't
(26:06):
commit a crime while waiting for us to come back,
because we're gonna be talk about Johnny Depp and neighbor
heard b RB and welcome back to a real time
crime you little social sleuth, sim your host Lee Lamar,
(26:28):
and we have with with this today. I can't speak.
Thanks in Visilinne we have with us today, Ian Edwards, Ian,
they look so good, but I can't speak. You were
so eloquent when your teeth were crooked, but it was
good at old days. Yeah. I really looked so horrible,
(26:50):
but I sounded so excellent. You know, I really had
had a face for radio back then. H But now
that I have a face for video, it's like people
would rather not hear me speak. Yeah, you don't have
a voice for radio, but hey, many they're just gonna
fire you. Maybe, but maybe I'll find a husband because
(27:12):
I'm like, oh, she hasn't really talk, but she's cute.
That's exactly what I've been looking for. And that's honestly
what's been getting me in trouble all these years is
you know, they were like, oh, I don't want to
look at her, and she's annoying. But now it's just one.
At least you get you one in one department. But
now I'm hot. Yeah. Anyway, I always think about the
(27:33):
fact that, you know, how when people die or get
murdered or whatever it is. I don't know why I
said it like that, but whatever it is that kills
them whatever, you know, they always find people's teeth. Yeah,
and they match it to their dental records to identify
their body. I thought about this million times. I'm like,
but my teeth have changed so much, maybe they won't
even know it's me. How do they know who your
(27:54):
dentist is? Well, that's the first person they call. No,
how do they know you die? They posted on Instagram?
They say, who's responsible for this person's teeth? They make
a TikTok about it. Who's been ripping this person off?
We need to know so we can identify them. Oh boy,
all right, you guys speaking of getting ripped off. I
(28:17):
don't know why that felt like a good segue, but
here we are. You guys have all heard about the
Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial by Now if you haven't,
you've been under a rock, which is fine. I will
take you out from under the rock. Let's dust it off.
So Johnny Depp and Amber Herd started dating in early
after meeting on the set of The Rum Diary a
(28:37):
few years earlier. They were married, and just fifteen months
later it was over classic Hollywood story. Heard filed for
divorce and a restraining order. Appearing in a l A
court with a bruised cheek, She said Depp had violently
attacked her and thrown a mobile phone at her face
with extreme force. There were other alleged instances of harassment
(29:01):
as well, excessive emotional, verbal, and physical abuse, she wrote
in court filings, angry, hostile, humiliating, and threatening assaults. Johnny
Depp denied this. A judge then granted her a temporary
restraining order, but hours before a civil trial over the
order was to begin. She and the Pirates of the
Caribbean Star released a joint statement saying that they had
(29:22):
put their dispute to rest. So so interesting. Then Johnny
Depp gave amber Heard seven million dollars as part of
their divorce settlement, which she pledged to donate to the
a c l U. Something that well, apparently his team
is saying that she never donated the money because I
heard that while ago, Yeah, and then back in she
(29:44):
wrote an essay for The Washington Post in which she
described herself as a public figure representing domestic abuse, Although
the article never mentioned him by name, his attorneys previously
said in court documents that Herd's op ed was all
part of an elaborate hoax. The Pirates of a Caribbean
Star also claimed in court documents that Heard concocted her
story in the hopes of generating positive publicity and to
(30:07):
advance her career. Days before the trial, she made a
rare statement on Instagram announcing a break from social media.
Johnny is suing me for an op ed I wrote
in The Washington Post in which I recounted my experience
of violence and domestic abuse. She wrote, in April nine,
I wrote about the price women pay for speaking out
against men in power. I continue to pay that price,
(30:28):
but hopefully when this case concludes, I can move on,
and so can Johnny Woof. Okay, so what's happening now?
On a text messages between Depth and his neighbor Isaac
Burr were revealed in court, and the text said, I
hope that Amber's rotten corpse is decomposing in a skin
truck of a Honda Civic. First of all, why are
(30:54):
we coming after Honda? Yea Honda, the shitty car. Yeah
should end up in like I can feel like they're
reliable number one. And I had a Honda one time,
and it took me everywhere early in my career and
saved me on a lot of nights. So I'm against
Johnny Depp for coming for Honda like that. I mean,
(31:16):
I I take that personal. That's you know, the trunk
of a Honda likes it's the worst place you could be.
That's how you know how rich Johnny Depp is that
he doesn't live in reality to find out that Honda
is not the worst possible car you could have. Yeah,
exactly like he he looks down on Honda's Yeah, he's
like Tesla disgusting. Like, yeah, I'm like, I have a
(31:40):
Honda right now, f you, Johnny. You know I'm taking
this personally. It's like, this isn't a four Torus. It's
not a Toyota Corolla for us. The trunks of Honda's
pretty comfortable, so he's obviously never rotted in one before,
and you know, it's very sporty back there. There's sometimes plugs,
(32:03):
so you could, you know, be at the beach and
use your computer and have a beach chair back there,
and you can do a lot of stuff in a Honda.
So disrespect Honda should sue Johnny Depp. Not only do
I agree, but I think he ruined his chance of
having a sponsorship from Honda. Absolutely. But you know, any
press is good pressed as they say, what is rotten
(32:25):
the trunk of Honda type? Like what if Honda does
use that in the next advertising campaign, They're like, come
raw in the back of our trunk. Yeah, Honda Civic
the car for you. You gotta you got a body
to bury, get a Honda Civic. Yeah. Don't you know
we can work for anyone. Families, happy couples and couples
(32:51):
that don't get along, you know, Honda mostly that last one. Yeah,
you plan on dying together because I got there for you.
I'm trying to find out what the Honda slogan is. Um,
maybe it's like the unhelpful Honda dealer. He's like, Hey,
(33:12):
do you want to die in the back of your
own car? I'll even close the trunk for you for
low a pr of three exactly. So moving on, while
you look up Honda's statement during opening statements, hers attorney
Ben rotten Born. That's so odd. Yeah, we're talking about
(33:33):
rotting in a trunk and his name is Rottenborn. It's
a a little much for me. Also, like what last
name is that. It sounds like it's mixed between a
Jewish and born again Christian. He sounds like he's rich
enough to know that he should change his name and
can afford it. And he is an attorney and should
have done that. This is an LS Island situation. Yeah,
what's going on? Yeah, So he claimed that Amber Heard
(34:09):
suffered sexual violence at the hands of Johnny Depp, and
he also alleged that the actress suffered domestic abuse by
depth that took many forms, including physical emotional, verbal, and psychological. Obviously,
Johnny Depp's spokesperson denied these allegations, saying this follows a
pattern of her elaborate, erroneous claims which have continued to
change and evolve over time for the purpose of Hollywood
(34:31):
shock value, of which Amber has mastered and used to
exploit a serious social movement. So these are big claims
coming from both parties obviously, and apparently their therapists. Their
their therapists that they had together testified on April fourteen,
saying that the couple engaged in mutual abuse and then
depths long time doctor David Kipper participated in deposition that
(34:55):
was played on April eighteenth, So this is just two
days ago, you guys. And this was recorded in February,
recalling treating him for having a severed fingertip. If you
have been obsessed with this case like I have, I'm
sure you've heard about the infamous fingertip bloody fingertip writing
I love you in a mirror with blood all over
the place. I mean, this is also crazy, right, And
(35:19):
then the other side is saying that, okay, let me
just keep going. Well, it's just you know, I love
the Hollywood horror show. Right, well, what are your feelings
on this ship? Like you might have said it to
other people before or people on this show, but I've
never heard it. What do you think? What's it do? Yeah,
(35:45):
So it's interesting because there's also allegations saying that Amber
threw a bottle at him which sliced his finger open.
Other people are saying that he cut it himself, and
I think that's what he said to the doctor, which
might have been a cover up at the time. This
is just one of those situations, in my opinion, where
they probably weren't right for each other. They were probably
(36:08):
very physically interested in each other. Maybe there's like a
lustful relationship, and then when you realize you're not right
with someone, or there's some sort of cheating or other
people involved or whatever it is. I think that people
then start to act differently, and that can turn into manipulation,
(36:29):
that can turn into control tactics, that can turn into
icing someone out and stonewalling them, and emotional abuse, physical abuse,
and when you stay in something for too long, especially
you know, there are a lot of situations where people
just turned to violence. So in this situation, you know,
we've heard Amber's lied. We've also heard that, John. I
(36:51):
mean the fact that the therapist is saying mutual abuse
sounds like everyone's in the wrong. Yeah. I feel like
the only thing they did right was break up. Hilarious,
That's the only thing that they did right. And the
therapist is like, this is a tie, like both these
motherfuckers she stay away from each other. But it's like, yeah,
(37:14):
I'm gonna go with the therapist on this, like he
or she did not pick a side. I don't like
the neighbor snitching about texting, like Johnny Depp text the neighbor. Yeah,
snitches get stitches in their finger that severed, Well Johnny did. Yeah,
(37:34):
But yeah, this is this is just crazy and they
shouldn't be together. Well, they're definitely not together. But you know,
she went on the cover of People magazine with a
dark bruise on her face. You know, Johnny Depp also
has He's got children, Lily rose up and jacked up
um with his other ex Vanessa parodies. But what does
(37:58):
she saying this? She have any stories of being abused
by death? I think she was supposed to take the
stand and then I read something about I could be
wrong on this so we'll have to do a fact check.
But apparently she was supposed to take the stand, and
then someone on Amber heard side was in the courtroom
(38:22):
and overlooked over her shoulder to see someone showing her
um on her phone, Like Vanessa was looking on her
phone at some sort of information about the trial. And
if you do that, then your testimony is no longer
able to be used. And so they dismissed her from
able from being able to understand. But apparently it was
(38:44):
like an old trial. Yeah, so she wasn't allowed to testify.
I mean, this sounds so messy and at this point,
I mean, so by the way, Johnny Depp lost the
first round and the first round, what do you mean
they're in a boxing ring? Um In a libel trial
(39:06):
set in the UK, Johnny sued Amber for fifty million
dollars over the op edge she wrote in The Washington Post,
which which she claimed to be a victim of domestic abuse,
and then she sued him back for a hundred million
with a counterclaim. Yeah. The defamation trial is expected to
feature painful accusations of domestic abuse. It will be broadcast
(39:28):
live and involve a number of high profile witnesses, including me.
You the two most high profile James Franco, which I'm like,
wasn't he canceled for some sort of like I can't believe,
I don't know. I mean the side of sexual abuse
Paul Bettany and Elon Musk. Well, wait till you hear this.
(39:54):
This is also not confirmed information. So don't go run
around telling people this as a fact. This is not
confirmed information that you're telling me on a podcast. Go ahead,
I'm listening right right right. This is again not confirmed information.
This is like, oh, Leah and Ian are married, and
then people just go and tell people that we're married
(40:15):
even though we're not yet. But they're still time. It's
still time. They're still time until the apocalypse hits in
about two hours. But okay, so apparently this is so crazy.
There is a fury that Amber and Ellen made embryos
(40:35):
together and Ellen wanted to have the embryos destroyed and
Amber did not. And people are saying that there is
a child that they think is the spawn of Amber
and Elon. This sounds like some and like they would
(41:00):
the kid be m like it has Amber ever had
a kid? And how did she did she meet up?
Did this happen before her and debt like this, This
was at some point in between Grimes and Depth, Grimes
and Death. That's a period in history, you know, that's
(41:24):
an official in history, Grimes and Depth. What were you doing?
What were you doing during Grimes and Death? Like I
was moving to Los Angeles from New York, changing career, past,
becoming a comic. A lot happened for me. What about
you during Grimes and Debt? I was I was in
the middle of one of those writing childs that you mentioned,
(41:47):
probably going through a breakup myself and uh having one
of the embryos unfrozen with you, and neighbor heard, yeah,
there you go. She she actually said, no, there's no
way are Ambery was going to get unfrozen. I would
never have a baby with you, And that was like
for it. So it's a really big smack in the face.
So she's doing you because you unfrozen them because I
(42:10):
wanted to unfrozen free something. I'm actually hurt that she
unfrozen embryos with Ellen and didn't want unfrozen. That had
hurts to be honest. Yeah, she sounds a speaking of
pregnancies and issues. I did just read earlier today on
I Heart Radio Instagram that Asap Rocky was arrested upon
(42:33):
arriving back from vacation with Brianna off their private jet
and that story is developing. I just want to throw
that out there. And why did they say he got arrested?
Was one of the t s A person was really
uh Rihanna fan and believes that he did cheat, that
he did cheat on her. I think that there was
some sort of gun violence that people believe he may
(42:56):
or may not have been involved in. Hey, SAP wasn't
a saplattop in Europe, a SAP blocky, It was the
lack of Europe during the Trump administration. Yeah, you know,
you really need to get a president who supports rappers.
(43:17):
Now Trump has to get him out of t s
A now hilarious. So, just so everyone's aware, the most
up to date news from the Johnny Depp amber Heard
case happened today. M hm. So it went more into
the finger story. So the alleged explosive fight between them
(43:39):
and his mangled finger, we're all brought up today. And
apparently during his witness testimony, he recalled an infamous alleged
fight that happened between him and heard while in Australia
for work in March. He held up his right hand
to show his funny looking middle finger, which appeared slightly shorter.
(44:03):
He testified that her thirty five through a vodka bottle
at him and went past his head. Then after he
drank a shot from another bottle, It's like, are they
just refilming Pirates of the Caribbean? He said. She grabbed
the larger bottle and again through it, making contact with
his hand resting on the bar top. Blood was pouring out.
He said, I think I went into some sort of
I don't know what a nervous breakdown feels like, but
(44:24):
that's probably the closest thing that I've ever had to it.
Nothing made sense in that state of mind. Depp began
writing on the walls in his own blood. He said,
he wrote little reminders from our past that essentially represented
lies that heard had told me, lies that I had
caught her in. Depp said he hid in the bathroom
and called his doctor when he was taken to the
hospital to treat his quote unquote mangled finger, which apparently
(44:45):
they showed graphic photos of in the courtroom, and then
he said he told the doctor had happened when his
finger was caught in large accordion doors. So like, even
after being so angry at her, he was still trying
to save face or not get her are in trouble.
A lot of this doesn't add up on both ants, right.
It sounds like you show up to court with a bruise,
(45:08):
I'll show them a seven finger. This is like Sean
Connery and the Untouchables, where they killed one of ours,
we killed two of theirs. It's like, whatever, whatever bruise
you show, I'll show you. I'll show them how you
bruise me more. Then she shows up with an embryo
and she's like, well, well, you know, they just keep
one up in each other, Just keep one up in
(45:29):
each other. Like it's this is like, just call us
a draw and end this unless people want to continue
to be entertained. Is that court trial really gonna be
like broadcast with you bullshit? I'm wondering it is going
to be broadcast. I'm wondering what they're promoting after this.
You know heard hav a new movie coming out. It's
(45:52):
Mayweather promoting this like this is the fight of the
century century for couples. Jeez, yeah, this is better than
reality television. Not that I watch reality TV, but I mean, Okay,
So when all of a sudden done, let's say Johnny
Depp wins, mm hmm, do you think he's still able
(46:14):
to work in Hollywood or gets another job or is
he just done? Uh? If he wins, I feel like
there's people who want to work with him but can't
because it makes him look bad. So him winning will
give people an excuse to be like, let's let's put
you back to work. And if he loses, he becomes
(46:36):
a comic. He has to start at Burger King first, though.
You can't just jump right in there. Somebody has to
drive by and tell them off. Okay, he's funny. You
can't just start comedy or willy nilly. There's there is
uh set of rules and a structure, and he has
to follow it. And and he has to go to
(46:58):
work at Burger King every day and drive home and
is Honda until it's Honda Civic with Ronning corpse in
the back. Yes. But you know what's so funny is
when I look at all the people who do comedy,
half of these people, I'm like, you're here because you've
got canceled and it's the only way you can work,
not half four. This is like really who just kidding?
(47:28):
It would never make it? But name names in name names?
I yeah, No, I feel I feel like a bunch
of people. Are you know whatever? Anyway more all of
the story, Johnny Depp, we will welcome you with open
arms at the comedy store and across comedy clubs all
over the country. I don't know, well if I think
(47:49):
I have an answer, but apparently a lot of what
I've what I've heard is that a lot of people
say that Amber has been on a hint and was
using this to further her career. And I also know
that the therapist is saying they're mutually insane. So I
(48:12):
don't know who's bet Are you on the side of
the truth, whatever the truth is? But wow, that was
such a diplomatic answer. Are you in DC right now?
Or the light answer? No? I agree. I think we'll
get to the bottom of this. I mean, because obviously
I believe in support women, but the fact that the
(48:33):
therapists said that they were mutually abusing each other isn't
really a good look for anyone, right right, So maybe
everyone's to blame here. Yeah, it takes two to tangle,
you know what I mean, And it takes one to Mango.
Know they're going to arrest you at the airport when
you try to go to you know, we saw you
(48:56):
say it takes one to Mango and we're gonna unstamped
your passport and we're taking your skydiving. Yeah, yeah, I'm
so sorry, but you're actually canceled from comedy for a
really bad joke and we never want you to be
able to say a Betha. Sounds like you said it right. Yeah,
you guys. We'll keep you updated on the Johnny Depp
(49:18):
Amber heard Traumedy. Whatever is happening there? And thanks so
much for doing the podcast today. Where can we find
you on the internet? Uh, go to at the Edwards
Comic on Instagram and at the En Edwards Comic one
on TikTok. I can't believe as a grown man, I'm
telling you my TikTok but at the end was comic one.
(49:40):
It sounds like someone's manager won a battle. Yeah, yep, yep.
You can find me at Leo Lamar with two rs
on Instagram and Twitter and the podcast Real Time Crime Pod.
Then you can find me on TikTok at Leo lamar
with five rs. Stop asking questions. We don't know why,
just bent. So you guys stay safe. Don't commit any
(50:04):
crimes until the next episode. But if you hear of
anything that we should know about, or you got a tip,
call in live. You know the number eight six crime.
That's eight six six to anyone, Come eight six six
to anyone. Come that's eight six six two six three.
Use your real singing voice? Why did you take them
(50:26):
that half as go ahead? Twenty one crime? Damn hilarious
and I'm canceled for singing and for bad jokes today.
Thank you everyone, guys, Stay safe by social sluits love you.
It's real time Crome. It real time cro I mean,
(50:47):
is it actually real time crime? I'm solving anything? Or
is that just the thing? We say it's then we
say got it? Okay, See you next week for more
real time crime, only on I Horror Radio.
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