You're Bacon a Big Mistake: The Tucson Sonoran Hot Dog Turf War

Regional delicacies are a hot market and a point of pride. Tucson's Sonoran Hot Dogs are a prime example. But are they worthy of extortion and death threats? One guy sure thought so.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ridiculous Crime is a production of I Heart Radio is Aaron?
What's up, Elizabeth? Don't you know it's ridiculous. Oh man,
I've been waiting for you to be able to tell
this to all Right. I was reading about this Japanese
woman who was looking for love and she found it
in space, or so she thought. Yeah, she thought she
found love in space. Okay. The deal was she meets

(00:20):
this dude who's claiming to be a Russian astronaut. Right,
the dudes this like, uh, you know, well, she's sixty
five years old, so he's like probably also like in
his fifties. I imagine a fifty year old cosmonau. Yeah, exactly.
So this cosmonaut he had like a retired cosmonaut current
currently on the International Space Station. He said. He was
posting photos from the International Space Station on sta Instagram,

(00:43):
according to him, and he had these random photos that
you could probably find online pretty easily. But he said, look, look,
I can't call you because we have limited cell service
in space. And I was like, okay, well, let's just
use this social media app. And so they're going back
and forth on this Japanese app because she was a
Japanese lady and uh. They it to falling in love
and he actually proposes marriage to her. He's like, I

(01:04):
want to start my life in Japan with you, and
she's like oh, and he's like saying this one tho
times won't be enough, but I'll keep saying it. I
love you, right. She's like, oh, my good news. She's like,
how can we be together? When do you leave the
International Space Station? And he's like, I'm going to do
that very soon, but the problem is that I have
landing fees that I will need to get down to
stop it stop, and I need also to buy a

(01:26):
new spaceship to get down there. So she's like, oh,
I totally get that. Yeah, I bet the landing fees
in Japan are really expensive and everything is expensive down here.
And he's like, oh, yes, so I'm going to need
about four point four million yen and so she sends
to him for four million yen, which is less than
it sounds. It's only I know, right, But then eventually,
after he keeps asking for money for five installments of

(01:49):
this money to buy the new spaceship and to pay
for his Japanese landing fees, she catches onto him and
She's like, you know what, I'm gonna go to the
police and see what they have to say about this.
And the police are like, ma'am, ma'am, we're going to
need your bank account because you should not have access
to this. What the hell are you thinking? My heart
breaks for her, the loneliness, and I am so livid

(02:13):
at this. I just like to imagine too, that he's
got this whole setup of a backdrop that in his
house really jankie like supposed to look like the space station.
It's like a kid's cardboard box space like the diyrophone
moon hanging out. He stands there, floats his arms in
zero gravity. He's like, who wants to watch me pee?

(02:35):
And watch it float around? This tang and whatever the
Russian tang is question Tang Tiang. I thought you didn't
enjoy that one? It was ridiculously I was. I really
loved it. It was super ridiculous. And uh, I'm kind
of I gotta let down and bring you back to Earth. Okay, please,

(02:55):
I live here. I'm I'm used to it. You know
what else is ridiculous Hot Dog Wars. This is a

(03:21):
ridiculous crime. A podcast about absurd and outrageous capers, heists,
cons it's always murder free and one ridiculous Zaren Elizabeth,
I will begin with a question for you that appears
to be a non sequitur, but it is actually relevant
to what I'm going to tell you. Par for the course.

(03:41):
It's my m o, Zaren. Do you like hot dogs?
Is your question? I do like hot dogs, regardless of
the fact that my mother was a nutritionist and she's
growing up, she would tell me like that they're basically
the worst thing you could eat because just not just
the sodium, salts and nitrates, but the fact that they're
made out of the worst parts of the pig and
the and the beef and so forth. But I said,

(04:02):
ha ha ha, mother. Here it's like, even if the
Minister's kids going to be like a little uh promiscuous,
I was the promiscuous food child, where I was like,
I'll give me the bologne, give me the white bread,
give me the hot dogs. And so there was this
place I would sneak away to with my like newspaper
paperboy money, and I would go down to the hot
Dogger restaurant in Davis with my best friend and we
would like you know, on a on a short day

(04:23):
at school, we would go down to the hot dog
and I'd be sitting there going, yes, cramming in salted meats. Yeah,
it's just cramming them going to town. Oh my god,
a fistful of hot dogs shoving in my mom like, oh,
this is joy yess hot dogs. You know? Did you
know there are a number of regional hot dog presentations? Oh, girl,

(04:44):
yes I do. Yeah. So there's a chart, a style
guide you could say, um, that surfaces on social media
online every now and then's someone that has the international
hot dogs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so I mean, but it
also has the classics that has the New York mustard,
sauer Kraut, onion sauce. That's the New York Um. Then
there's the Dodger dog foot long catchup, mustard chopped onions,

(05:07):
relish um Chicago dog as you said, and a pickle,
spear and sell result which I didn't realize it was
part of that tomatoes, pickled peppers, chopped onions, bright green,
relish hungry that's my goal, and mustard yestard hold the catchup.

(05:31):
So well, now there are wild variations on on that
chart that I'm talking about. I'm going to post the
chart on Instagram. It just needs to be captured from
the agent appreciate uh and put in such a such
an important places Instagram and also encased meats don't get
the respect. No, not at all. So, um, what do
you think is on the Seattle Seattle Dog? Oh see,

(05:56):
I'm gonna go with something possibly Asian influence. So let's
go with like with sabby peas, I don't know, brought
worst the other direction, cream cheese. Okay, so very Germans overall,
hallepenos or gelapanos as some people like to say, chopped
cabbage and saracha. So this is like a West Coast

(06:19):
German mashup. Make that makes sense? I love that. Yeah.
Then there there's the Carolina, which has chili, chopped onions
and cole slaw. Yeah, it's kind of like similar to
the Pittsburgh style. Well, it's sort of like what you
would have on a pulled pork sandwich in the Carolina
or a cold is correct? How about the Hawaii Dog pineapple?

(06:41):
You love kings Hawaiian rolls, yes, I do. So. Imagine
you have one and you just forcibly, you forcibly stab
hot dog through one through the drive it at like
a stake through the heart of a king's Hawaiian So
it's like pigs in a blanket but cheved through a
Hawaiian roll. Yeah, okay, it's shoved him there, shoved him

(07:02):
violently in that sweet road. That's stabbing motion you keep doing.
And then inside of it catchup mustard and fruit sauces.
What fruit sauce. It's like undisclosed fango chutney. Like talking
about the pineapple orange guava they soaked overnight. I'm soaking um.
And then there's the Idaho, which is pretty much just

(07:25):
like a hot dog shoved inside a loaded baked potato.
From what I can see, that seems very potato, very Idahoe.
So famous potatoes. Next on this episode of Ridiculous hot Dogs,
let's go internationally, Yes, take me there the Sweden dog
to Mexico City, but go on, give fil to fit No,

(07:45):
like some kind of whitefish, maybe like a cured like sausage.
I don't know. Okay, it's a hot dog, Okay, that's
why we're talking about it. It is surrounded by what
appeared to be a slurry of mashed potatoes, rimp, salad, lettuce,
fried onions, and then it's like really tidally putting a

(08:07):
wrap like like like some kind of extra material like
not like the restaurant will walk away with, you know,
like a flatbread type thing. WHOA, So that's and is
it like thin, like say like an Asian style wrapper
I'm gonna have like basically like a rice paper. You kinna?
It looked from from the cartoon drawing, it looked like

(08:29):
maybe like tortilla style or like if you go to
a restaurant and they're like, do you wanna chicken Caesar rap? Yeah,
I totally um. And then here's what Okay, the Norway inexplicably,
it's a hot dog wrapped in a tortilla with ketchup
and mustard. It sounds like something that we'd eat growing

(08:49):
up as we ran out of hot dogs and money.
Well yeah, you know, I guess like sorry kids, like
look we got tortillas. We still have the hot dogs.
Did you when you're growing up did you ever have
like hot dogs or hamburgers and there's no hot dog
or hamburger buns in the house and it goes on
the like fifteen grain bread or is that just my house? Oh? Well,
one we did never have hot dogs and hamburgers because vegetarian.

(09:12):
But we did have those really terrible soy burgers from
back in the day, like the original veggie burgers and grainy,
little terrible things. And then it would be on like
fifteen grain bread, so it was like eating I don't know,
like this slurry and tides of two pieces of wood. Yeah, awesome.
My grandma loved multi grain bread that we didn't have
white bread in the house, and it had like the

(09:33):
higher the grain count, the closer to God. And like
she wouldn't toast it. She just like cook up a burger,
throw it on soft yea seeds and nuts bread and
would touch it. Oh yeah, that's a low point. Um.
So here's here's my last example on ridiculous hot dogs.
This is the most relevant one to our talk here today.

(09:55):
Have you ever heard of or had a Sonoran hot dog? Okay,
finally one I definitely have had. This is an l
A street special you were going to come across. But
all these international hot dogs and even some of the
national ones, I've gotten every one of them wrong. So
let me explain to you it is. First, let's talk
about Sonora. It's the state in northern Mexico right, Um, desert, Yeah,

(10:21):
and its largest city is its capital, harm mas Ceo. Uh,
that's where these hot dogs from. Um. It borders the
US at Arizona and a little bit of New Mexico.
And this was Cowboy country. So the food is basic
cowboy cuisine. It's you know, very simple presentations, so it's like,

(10:42):
you know, good ingredients, that sort of thing. They also
there's a lot of seafood there because but the Gulf
of California. Yeah, so that's the Sonoran part. Let's talk
hot dogs. It starts with an all beef hot dog.
Hot dogs should be um, but they use a different
kind of bun. It's denser than a regular hot dog bun.

(11:02):
You'll figure out why that is a second. It's bigger,
and it's more like a bolo, which is like a short,
fat baggett that you know, if you ever had a
Torta's exactly that's torto bread. Um, super decadents, super amazing.
Those are, um. But these the buns on these are
a bit fluffy. So I've I've explained the butt got that. Um.

(11:26):
The one thing that is absolutely immovable in all this
is that the hot dog is enrobed in bacon. Yes, right,
that's what gives it that appeal to the drunks. At
two a m. They come bacon smells are yes, you
know exactly where one is because that's the only place
where there's a crowd on l A streets at one a. Right,
it's the it's the alcohol neutralizer, the grease. It's so

(11:47):
they wrap the hot dog and bacon, they grill it.
Then it's topped with pinto beans, grilled onions, raw onions, tomatoes, mayo, mustard,
and then a green salsa jalepeno based. Sometimes I'll put
peppers if well, yeah, there are other places they'll put peppers.
Someone put cheese, avocado, radish, cucumber, mushrooms. You know they're
the um. And then it's also generally served with a

(12:09):
roasted chili huero yellow pepper on the side. So that's
that um. It sounds kind of like a torto, but
with a hot dog is the meat protein. Would you
eat a Sonora and hot dogs? They're amazing. I mean
like the next day I I beg God for forgiveness
for my sins, but it's always amazing that in that
moment that like if you live in the moment, there

(12:30):
was one precious moment. Um. How but like, how is
it Sonoran? Well, hot dogs were big in Sonora. Um,
they got there in the fifties for ball games. Like right.
Some have also said that it was a traveling circus
that brought these hot dogs to the area. I love
that backstory. Let's just go with that. Um. In terms

(12:52):
of like the Sonoran style bacon wrap dog, there's one
woman who said that her husband first started selling them
at a corner food stand in herm CEO in nine
So that's like she she planted the flag on that one.
Whatever the origin story, it's super popular food at baseball
games in the seventies, Um, students at University of Sonora,

(13:14):
and then vendors, you know, they got into it. Vendors
started popping up in the eighties that moved north to
Tucson's Mexican neighborhoods in Arizona. That's where it took off
and became absolutely legendary. So Tucson is like the epicenter
of the Sonoran hot dog craze. Hot Dog vendors are
called Delgros by the way, I never knew that. That's

(13:36):
fun fact for you. Um, and then there's one more
ingredient in a Tucson, Sonoran hot dog hit me crime.
This is uh what I want to talk to you
today is about this Sonoran hot dog food. We got
an email about this from Tom McCreary. Oh thanks, solid,

(13:58):
solid wreck um. By the way, we always appreciate whenever
you all throw out these listener generated stories because some
of them absolutely surprised and really really good ones that
I never would find in any other avenue. Although I
do want to say quick note, please stop suggesting the
barefoot pan. Okay, that that one. We have heard a

(14:19):
bunch of it's a bunch of issues with the story. Yeah,
tragic backstory, some mental illness issues. We don't talk about
those kind of things because it's just not funny. So
no more. But other than that, everything else is it go? Uh.
So we're talking about Tucson, Arizona, Sonora and hot dogs,
big regional celebrated food there. Every area has an item,

(14:41):
right like has a food item. As much as I
can think of it, I can't think of like what Topeka,
Kansas food is. They have to have one every like
it's always a point of pride for people and then
for outsiders. It's either like a revelation or an abomination.
It's like pizza or yeah, like a hamburger. But you
know what, no matter how you slice it, heyo, um,

(15:03):
I think. I think regional delicacies are delightful, even if
I find them absolutely horrific. And even if you don't
like it it sounds like something you would never put
near your face, you still love the idea that someone
else loves it. Yes, I like that about you. Thank you,
so do I? Um? So, who's slinging dog? No? I
want to celebrate me and my journey. Who's slinging dog

(15:23):
in Tucson? That's my question? Who are the big dogs
in the wiener world? In TuS El Guero Canello is
owned by Daniel Contreras, an immigrant from Magdalena, Sonora, and
El Jerro Canello. That means cinnamon blonde. And that's because

(15:45):
Daniel Contreras is a cinnamon blonde. I'll put as a
picture on Instagram. Uh so. El Jo Canello has been
around since nine. It's one of the city's most absolutely
well known hot dog establishments. Sort of omnipresent at this point.

(16:05):
Kind of yeah, that's like the go to and then
if you read some like reddit boards and stuff, which
I don't know maybe I do that. Um, people will
talk about how that's like the kind of standard McDonald's
version of it, that there are other better ones. This
is like the patent genos of cheese steaks in Philadelphia,
but for Tucson exactly so contraras he got people from
outside of the Mexican community on the south side of

(16:27):
town eating the hot dogs. He took it out into
the to the rest. Um. He's been in the New
York Times, CBS Sunday Morning, Bonappetite, a favorite magazine of mine,
and the travel channels Food Wars Show. All right, right,
so he's he's you know, he's in it. He's making
the round. It already had two locations right in UH eleven.

(16:50):
He opened a third spot, one on East twenty two Street,
about two and a half miles west of a Sonoran
style hot dog stand called Mr and tohol so that
was owned by Eduardo Sabori. Sensing the beginnings of a feud,
maybe a little bit. He's an immigrant from Herma Ceo
the Capital Um. He owns Mr an Tohoe. He's a

(17:12):
newcomer to the scene. His Dogs awarded runner up status
in the Arizona Daily Stars Taste Best under up to
Taste test or Taste best best Test rightever, So but
you know what didn't place that year? Yeah yeah, not
even an alcar Ran No, so contraris Sabori. They're related

(17:34):
through marriage, but that doesn't stop some drama from roasting up,
like yeah yeah, like hot dogs on a seven eleven
spinner roasting on up. So here's Sabori. He's the thing
is a real kind word for what's happening on a
seven eleven spinner. But go on festering Sabori. He's like
making a name for himself in the dog eat dog

(17:55):
world of novelty links. I had such a good time.
He's runner up awards Zaren that's big um. And then
here comes old cinnamon back contraras right. He the he's
the man that's referred to as the godfather of Sonoran
hot dogs. Much beloved in the community, maybe not as
exciting in the minds of the people. Um. He decides

(18:17):
to open up a spot a couple of miles down
the road from Sabori's place. It's two and a half miles.
Two and a half miles is not that close. You know,
think about this. The number of tacarias on East Fourteenth
in Oakland is overwhelming, ridiculous, And like some of them
will specialize in the in the same things and we'll

(18:38):
be right next week, like sach or Barria, right next
to each other. We're all better for that. So I
don't know what the problem is, but whatever this this
got Sabori upset. Contraris the cinnamon Whisperer. He was unbothered.
He's growing his empire. He's pushing dog. Life's good. The
wait which one of them is the godfather of the
hot dog? Contris the cinnamon whisper um. So he life's

(19:03):
life's awesome for dog. He's loving this for him, and
then he gets a letter that's going to change his life. Um,
let's take a break, go mi career, some hot dogs
in the Ridiculous Crime HQ lunch room. It'll be so happy. Yeah,
when we get back, I'm going to fill you in
on the contents of that letter, Zaren. I'll let you

(19:43):
finish that last bite a hot dog and then we'll
get back to the story of Daniel contrare Us, owner
of Canello. And I just had to have something was
this so good? Would you put on it? Just some
mustard and love glitter, glitter and some fun fetty. Just
you put a hot dog and then you just put

(20:03):
a ton of cake frosting on it. That's the only
way to eat it in sweet and savory. That's a
mommy baby. Um so where was i Cosnello and Eduardo Sabori.
They're the owner of the rival Sonoran hot Dog stands
um contraras the established hot dog or the cinnamon Don Juan,

(20:27):
the one who took the Sonoran hot Dog out of
the neighborhood and into Instagram. Uh, that's him, Sabori, the young, upstart,
big dreamer looking at steak his claim in the Sonoran
hot Dog landscape Tucson, Arizona. Why are you laughing right now?
It's hot and there's hot dogs involved. It is really

(20:49):
hot in here. So yeah, there's that. It's the hot
dog talk getting me all head up? Um so contraras
he opens his shop right down the road piece from
Sabori's place, or was like, um uncool that? So he
just stood out on the sidewalk. This wasn't ELO's first tour.

(21:09):
Four now, as I mentioned before, he's a Tucson mainstay
prominent purveyor of Sonoran style hot dogs. If you will well,
contraris the Cinnamon Cowboy. He opened his food stand in
ninety three. I don't think that was that long ago,
but apparently it was. Let's not talk about that. Contraras said,

(21:30):
he grew up eating Sonoran style hot dogs and he
missed them in other Mexican food when he was in Tucsons,
so he opened up a hot dog and taco stand. Now,
at first he only sold carne sava grilled steak, but
the stand was like the size of a hot dog stand,
and people kept coming up and be like, hey, can
I get a hot dog? He's like crying out loud,

(21:51):
I'm serving this. Uh So he's like fine, So he
just starts slinging hot dogs. But he sells Sonoran ones
and people people go nuts. They love his version of it.
But he's right by another food cart that had also
recently started called b K Karna Asada and hot Dogs

(22:14):
b K Carne Asada and hot Dogs, and that was
run by a friend of his, Benjamin Glas. B K
K must be like his wife's thank you. You can
see the face I was making. I'm a Kate is
not stark glaws Kardashian um so Galas said that he
was the one who started selling Sonoran hot dogs in Tucson. No,

(22:35):
it wasn't human. I was here first. I don't know
about it's that, you know what, who cares? We're all
just living a better life because of these. It's just
more hot dogs. How can that be bad? Right? So
the two men they get there in this rival territory,
and then they opened brick and mortar stores right across
the street from each other, just upping the drama. Are

(22:56):
ra Yeah, they they're friends now, they become friends, but
the hot dog rivalry remains. But I think it's probably
like a good nature Chevy dealership robbery exactly. And I
wonder who's Chevy and who's forward in this? The winner
it's a Chevy one, So which one wins? Okay? So
here's another here's a fun fact about Contreras. He opened

(23:17):
his own bakery and tortilla factory in Magdalena, his hometown,
to make the boglio exactly like how he likes it.
And they come every other day. These shipments get driven
up there. That's LEGiT's so we have Contreris, the Cinnamon
Sizzler and his El Juero Canelo brand, just pushing aggressively

(23:38):
into the wide open Sonoran hot dog market, ruthless in
his pursuit of placing bacon wrap wieners into the hands
of the good people of Tucson. He's a good man.
Now during the lord's work, there's that letter that's going
to change his life. Yeah, what's in this? Okay, July,
at about one in the morning, a car rolls up
to El Huerto Canello. A guy gets out hands and

(24:00):
envelope to Contraras closing up. Well, everyone's late night, dog,
and I guess that's what you tell the most dogs.
I'm telling you sure. Yeah. So Contraras opens the letter.
It's in Spanish. It demands six d thousand dollars delivered
to a trash bin by midnight on July A little
you're just wondering the trash can are No is just

(24:23):
all like eating beans and hands together. So it also
in the letter there was like a hand drawn map
that showed which trash can I'm telling you, just super helpful.
That is super helpful. That is very fun. No trains involved. Um,
what wasn't super helpful. The threats that were in the

(24:44):
rest of the letter, like here, I'll quote some of
them for you. We are down here in Mexico, but
following your footsteps very closely, like a shadow, a shadow.
Here's another one. Next time you come over here to Mexico,
we will be waiting for you. And if you don't come,
we'll go over there. Not for you, but for your family. Yeah.

(25:06):
So he's just like getting this random letter six thousand
dollars please. We're also going to kill your family. Yeah, yeah, yeah, um.
You know that Bolio factory, the one that's sending stuff
up every two days. The letter also said that they
were going to shoot the delivery drivers who bring the
shipments up from Mexico. And then they also said they're

(25:28):
going to shoot out the windows of the of the
new spot, the new one that he just opened on
East twenty twod I did, honestly, I did not see
this threat coming. Everything was so we were beautiful. I
love that, you know, I keep it coming. We were
in a peaceful hot dog bliss. Yes exactly. You know,
we're just all tummies full son in ourselves. No, that

(25:50):
can't last. A couple of gorge dogs just like all
the meat. So two days later, another letter shows up. Uh.
This one told contraris the Cinnamon Diamond to put a
white flag on his van barked in front of El
Canelo as a sign that he got the letters and

(26:12):
was down to cooperate. So it was, in essence, a
red receipt on that emails. You're get you get that
that letter? You fine hay of flag. So I know
you got it and you read it and you're going
to do it. Um. So then the day before the
requested cash drop, a third letter arrives. This one went

(26:34):
hard dude, you ready. It said that if the cash
wasn't in the trash container, someone was going to die.
I love it. So wait the person is going to die?
I mean it's got to be him. They're pretty much
going like not just a letter there, like it could
be you could be a family member, could be an employee.
If you're the employee standing there, you know, cleaning out

(26:57):
the hot dog and yeah, you're real like are you kidding?
Not me? What have I done? Boston a little sick?
But someone someone's going to die. Um. It also said quote,
you won't get away from me because we will find you.
I know that I should always believe in extortionist threat
but these just do not sound professional. I'm sorry, this

(27:20):
is so much of like I'm gonna do it for real.
That's some heavy talk in the hot dog Parliament. What
didn't contrarist the cinnamon delight do? I'm thinking he stood
tall and said bring it hot dogs At Don and
twenty paces. He called the FBI the fluffy bun inspectors. Okay,

(27:42):
that that one's over the line, dot FBI zar zaren
close your eyes, you snuck up. All right, all right here,
watch this close. I want you to picture you are
in f I agent damn right, the fluffy bun inspector.

(28:06):
It's guess what You're in Tucson on Okay, you're a
regular at Nice. Did I just like parachute out of
like a plane that was piloted by Patrick Swayzy? Yes,
and you're wearing a Ronald Reagan mask. Okay, you took
it personally when you found out that your favorite meat

(28:27):
hustler was being extorted by an unknown entity. Oh yeah,
that that don't flow not on your watch. IM an
agent for a reason. You go to your boss, you
demand she assigns you to the case you meet business Patricia,
I gotta work on this. You're all sweaty and you
had your shirt sleeves rolled up. You pound your fists
on her desk. She's like, my, dude, pay attention to

(28:48):
during brief things. Do you read your emails? I've already
assigned you to this one? Okay email? Cool? There you
are now sitting in a parked car by the dumpsters
and the parking lot of the Hampton in Okay. It's
almost midnight and there's still a lot of traffic though

(29:10):
on the six lane road running in front of the hotel?
Am I like shame eating some burger king? Or why
am I next to a dumpster? Well? An hour ago
you and your team had rigged a Duffel bag to
look like it was holding six d dollars. And now,
as the clock approaches midnight, it's your time to shine. Baby. Yes,
I am an FBI agent. Can I just say I

(29:35):
love point break something? Yeah? Sorry, I'm just a point
break truther. So back to two songs. Your job is
to go put the bag in the dumpster as designated
in the hand drawn map came with the threatening letter
I'm consulting. I have a copy of my I searched
high and low, over hill and Dale, and I could
not find a replica of this. Well, can we just

(29:57):
make one? Yeah? I think I get some crayons out.
So this is it. Are you ready, buddy? Go? Time
you get the signal, which is just a text message,
it says go just like crying out loud, you get
out of the car. You you really make yourself believable
as an envoy for a hot dog empire. So you've

(30:18):
shoved your pockets full of cold links, pockets full of wieners, zaren.
You can hear your the ripple of them. You can
hear your colleagues whispering in your earpiece. Burnette, what are
you doing? Are those hot dogs in your pocket? They're
spilling all over the pavement. Damn it, Burnett, you don't care.

(30:42):
You're in too deep. Yeah, you've become the character of
hot dog money man. And you whistle nonchalantly as you
approached the dumpster. You give a classic Doctor j skyhook
and toss the bag into the trash receptacle with great relish. Yeah,
nothing but are nothing, nothing but net, you whisper. But

(31:06):
there's actually a lot of net because the Duffel bag
bounces off the edge of the dumpster and back onto
the pavement, crushing a couple of your pocket dogs. Like
I still, that goes there, So you bend over to
pick up the bag. More hot dogs, still out of
your dogs. You're wearing cargo pants. You call them your

(31:27):
tactical pants. I gotta keep a lot of dogs on me. Yeah,
you're running like heavy weight and dogs do you grab
the bag and you ignore the curses and insults of
your coworkers coming through your earpiece. Um, you use two
hands this time, disturbing my ankle holster with a couple
of backup dogs in it right, like it was banding.

(31:52):
Some one of them is just all grilled. That's when
I go heavy. Yeah, that's when you bring the heat. Yeah,
so you use two hands like time. You put the
bag all the way into culpster. You walk back to
your buck enclave, and you peel out of that parking
lot another day under capital baby again. You pull over
by the farmer's insurance building and you wait. Now, the

(32:13):
untrained I wouldn't see all the officers hiding in the
shadows around the parking lot. Your eye is trained very well.
Pockets are full of processed meats. You see everything. Hold on,
I'm getting a message from headquarters. Yes, is it Patricia
my boss? No, it's ad time, baby. So when we
come back, I'm going to tell you how the steakout

(32:34):
shook out with my dogs. Oh man, did you hear

(32:59):
about much cool stuff you want to buy and participating?
Are you eating more hotir? Did those ads really open
up your world? And even the cold ones taste good?
They do? Yeah, it was just a fistful of cold
dogs light, a light greasing in the mouth. Yeah, there's
like the you know, the mouth feel. It's like if
you took mayonnaise and spread it over your entire mouth,
But that mayonnaise tasted like meat. Oh, that's so good.

(33:22):
When I was in elementary school, there was a kid
who occasionally, for lunch, his parents would pack him either
one or two cold hot dogs in a zip block
bag and he would take it out and just chase
people with me for a while, and then when everyone
got tired of it, he'd sit down and eat it
and warmed up. Yeah. Big shout out to Nick and
his hot dogs. Where was I hot dogs? Um? Well,

(33:49):
I was an FBI undercover and I just pulled away
and now I'm waiting to see the guy in the movie.
And you have your your tactical pants, your cargo pant
answer just stained with hot dog juice. Oh yeah, loaded
down dogs love me. Let's just say I cannot go
to a dog straight. Dogs like sniffing around the bottom
of the door your parked buick conclave exactly, and a

(34:11):
couple of the roaches and the rats from the dumpster.
So there you are in the buick, pocket full of
francs buick rally around the buick with a pocketful of
francs um. All right, So you got your eyes on
the dumpster in which you've recently tossed what looks like
a six hundred thousand dollar Duffel bag and feels like

(34:32):
it too, But it's just weights and maybe just frozen
hot dogs. Fingers up, yeah, exactly. Yeah. The backseat of
the buick, the footwells is just all empty hot dog
rappers with a little bit of the juice. Sitte. It's
like Nathan's and National Hot when you're feeling fancy. Some
of them a dolls chicken apple. Also, some of them

(34:53):
ballpark Franc's just so I want to go jumbo style, Yeah, yeah,
plump when you cook them. I'm so glad I one
could join us here at ridiculous hot Dogs. Alright, so
okay hot dogs. Um, it's now six minutes after midnight,
and you see a man approach. He's got a mustache
and a goatee. Can you believe that kind of guy? Yeah,

(35:15):
he's wearing an apron and he smells like hot dogs.
I probably know him. It's your top game. Probably recognize
me from the meeting. He strolls over to the dumpster.
He looks around, and then he reaches in and grabs
the duffle and he feels the weight and it's in
his hands. Yeah, he's satisfied. He nods. He walks away
with it. Um, and then you see your coworkers pounce

(35:37):
like jungle cats. I take a couple of bites of
cold hot dog just to celebrate. You're just so excited.
You're just eating your feelings and you're shoving cold hot
dogs in your mouth and my cheek like a chipmunk. Um, sirens,
blair lights, flash, fireworks explode, there's confetti everywhere. Hot dog party. Um.
A strapping gentleman and an FBI wind break draws his

(36:00):
weapon orders the man to the ground. He was one
of those giants like fan men from an outside of
a car dealership, only you were there. Thank you for
extra detail. That's so good. So um the flashlights illuminate
the face of Mr. And Tohoe the hot dog. Up
start eduar though somebody up start. Yeah he did it.

(36:25):
He's arrested. He's charged with interfering with commerce by threats
or violence, which f Y I federal crime. So that's
basically just extortion. Yeah. Uh, well he's interfering with commerce.
God forbid we interfere with commer I don't care about
the death threats, but you've messed with business. What did
this commerce due to you? It carries a maximum sentence

(36:48):
of twenty years in prison and or two fine. The irony.
He's like, I think I have that in the Duffel. Yeah,
this one second and then it was very disappointed. Uh.
And then here's the statement from the from the UM
John Evans, the Chief Criminal Chief for the U. S.
Attorney's Office in Tucson. Thanks to an outstanding response and

(37:08):
fast moving investigation by the FBI, this attempt to extort
over half a million dollars from a business owner was
thwarted before anyone was harmed. And then it continues on
and a big no thanks to special Agent Zaren Burnett,
who got hot dog juice all over the place. I
was wondering if I was going to make it into
this one, because they always want to drag my name
out there now never when like, oh, Zaren brought enough

(37:30):
hot dogs for everybody that doesn't make it in the memo,
Saren's a real cowboy. He's a loose canbra. We're all
there at three am and no one had anything to
eat but cold coffee. Burnett pulled out a couple of
hot dogs from his tactical pants. And who was the
hero of that? I was keeping him warm for you.
That's that's Burnett warm. You know, they just don't appreciate visionary.
August not too long after this whole thing. Next month,

(37:53):
uh Sabory gets indicted on six felony counts of interfering
with commerce by threats or violence, stopping the biz. It
was determined he had threatened six different people. Oh this
wasn't his only few, No, just by the blanket statement
in these letters. So three of them were contraras as children.

(38:13):
So they give him six counts like, how many kids
you guys? He says, he's gonna hurt your kids? How man?
You got three? Okay? How many? And then okay? And
then the bus boy. Yeah, throw him in there. Your
mom lives with you, okay, put her on the list.
Anyone else see this letter. That's amazing. Be specific with
your threats. God to remember that one. That's a ridiculous crime.
Tip September, Sabori pleads guilty and he admitted, I'm I

(38:40):
was it just just me? I'm the only person. Um
Now I don't know who else we were supposed to suspect. Frankly, um,
I can't find any statements from him at this time
around around the time, like contemporary statements, So I don't
really know what was driving him other than just sheer

(39:02):
rage at having his turf stepped on. He was trying
to catch up with the rival he had, right the
cinnamon dream. That was what he must can trais the
cinnamon dream. They're related by marriage, like what's Easter like
in that family? Now supposed to be a choice time?
Oh no, we've got someone in jail for threatening to

(39:23):
kill over hot dogs to make the egg hunt real
uncomfortable for the kids the hot dog hunt in that family. Um,
they cut them up in the little smokies. They scattered
them around in the bushes. They just na sausages over
and they're like kids, the kids like, for once in
my life, can I have no? I'm sorry she had
the Chicago Way Vienna sauce, Vianna, I like little Smoky's.

(39:45):
Oh yeah, sorry, that's just me. I'm sorry for your loss.
March twelve, twelve. I had that too many times as
a kid. And pigs in a blanket, those you know,
the little smokies are like yeah, the ones in a
can right, No, no, no, they're a little little tiny
hot dogs, little smoky, little smoky and flavor. Uh. Every
year at Thanksgiving we need have we have a ton

(40:06):
of people over, and you'd have my brother would demand
that we had little Smokey's in a pit of barbecues, yes,
barbecue sauce. Yes. And it was just like he just
sat there in front of the container in the bowl
of little smokes to town and then you'd be like,
I don't feel so good. Respect yeah uh so yeah

(40:30):
little Smoky's for the kids at Easter. Put a put
a pin in that one. Um, so Sabori. In March,
he gets sentenced to forty one months in federal prison,
and then on top of that, after that three years
of supervised release. So if he kept his nose clean
and his hot dogs running, I'd say he's probably out

(40:51):
today living his best life. The restaurant has closed, his
place is closed. I can't find out if he opened
another one, or if he just decided to throw in
the hot dog towel, you know, find another passion he
went back to. Maybe, Um, but I mean I looked
high and low, couldn't find anything. Um. I hope he

(41:11):
found something that he would feel so strongly about that
he would threaten to kill someone else. I want that
for him, but don't actually go through with it, but
feel that passion. What about the cinnamon Prince Contrera. Yeah,
As for Contreras, the cinnamon sensation, he's still king a
hot dog mountain. Yeah, he still has his three locations
in Tucson. His bio on the Wuero Canello website. Very

(41:36):
simple quote. Born in Magdalena, Sonora, in nineteen sixty one,
Daniel Contreras opened his first hot dog stand in Tucson.
In as a boy, he ate slept and breathed, what
do you think hot dogs baseball and then that it's

(41:58):
just like he drilled the whole all in one and
used it as a as a snorkel. So in parentheses
he was nearly a champion at twelve. Going back to
baseball now, he puts that same drive into Sonoran food.
He owns and operates three Auto Canello restaurants, a meat
market in Tucson, a bakery, and a tortilla factory in Magdalena.

(42:22):
He had to be sure the quality was just right.
Respect Yeah, he stayed humble in the Wiener game and
he came out on top. And I think that any
of our listeners Tucson people go check out O Canello
and let us know. Is it still like question, do
a little taste test. Have one of his, have some
of the others do a blind taste test, report back,

(42:43):
let us know. We did that here at Ridiculous Crime
HQ not too long ago with an East Bay specialty
pastry called a Morning Bun. Yes, and it was a
it was a fun contest like taste test with your
friends like eight of us. Again, it was pretty cool.
Um anyway, So what's your ridiculous takeaway here or are
you going to opt for delivery? Got one? Laugh one.

(43:08):
My takeaway that is sedular is the fact that I
am apparently neither cunning nor tough enough for the hot
dog game. No, I would have just been pushed out immediately.
I would have like succumbed to the six D dollar threat.
I mean, like with my family, are they worth it
for the dogs? Yeah? No, I don't know though. Dog
is life. So um, that's it. That's it for today.

(43:30):
My takeaway is just you know what, everybody cool out?
That's my takeaway for every episode we do it a
cool dog that Yeah, I just want like a blended
frozen hot dog smoothie? Is that too much to It's
too little? It is really warm in this room, and

(43:51):
I'm starting to get larious. I'm not hungry, I'm just
like lightheaded. You're asking for cold smoothie hot dogs. No,
I didn't will play playback the tape? Oh my god?
I did? Um? All right, So that's my ridiculous take out.
That's it. You can find us online at Ridiculous Crime
on both Twitter that's where the smart stuff goes, and Instagram,

(44:11):
which is where we put photos to go along with
each episode. Here's a thought. If you haven't already downloaded
the I Heart app, I need you to do that
right now. Why because but also there's a feature on
there called talk Back, and you push some sort of button.
It looks like something. I'm gonna let you find that

(44:32):
out on your own. But with talk back you can
leave us. And I know I'm going to regret telling
you this a thirty second voicemail. If you want to
do that, so go for it. Leave us a thirty
second voicemail. Use the I Heart app um or you
can email us at Ridiculous Crime at gmail dot com.
Tune in next time. Thanks for listening. Ridiculous Crime is

(44:58):
hosted by Elizabeth and Zarin Burnett, produced and edited by
international hot dog hustler Dave Kusten. Research is by Cinnamon Brown.
The theme song is by Cinnamon Lee and Cinnamon Dutton.
Executive producers are Cinnamon Bowling and Cinnamon Brown, but not
the same Cinnamon Brown who does the research. It's a
very common name, Ridiculous hot Dog Baby. Ridiculous Crime is

(45:25):
a production of iHeart Radio. For more podcasts to my
Heart Radio, visit the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you listen to your favorite shows,