December 19, 2022 • 52 mins
In today's deep dive episode we're talking about how to leave a party! We’ve all been there: you’re at a social function and you are ready to bounce. Do you say goodbye to everyone, or do you just leave without saying anything? Opinions differ and we’re excited to dive into them with our very special guest, WHITTNEY MILLSAP! Whitney is a brilliant improviser, actor, educator, and entrepreneur and will soon become a licensed esthetician.
Follow Whittney on IG: @meowscraps and keep up with her garden @wild.east.acre
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Ridiculous News is a production of I Heart Radio and
Cool Cool Cool Audio. Yeah yeah, yeah, we're amazing and
crazy topics to dig in to Jews, you would now
done the into ridiculous News. We get us. Their views
are working the rules of broadcasting and all sorts. A while.
The course that she was lapping before, the brand up
(00:20):
beat journalism, the strange and the usual stories, and well
we gave them when it's all about ridiculous news. Everywhere
we told about ridiculous News over here. Hey, everyone, welcome
to Ridiculous News. We're not your average news show. We
cover stuff you didn't realize was news from the wild
and funny, to the deep and hidden to the absolutely ridiculous.
I'm Bill Whorley and Atlanta based filmmaker. I'm comedian and
(00:42):
I like to party. Mark. I'm always down the party,
whether it's a friend's house party, it's a party at
a warehouse, it's a dragon con, Bonnaroo, music festivals, you
name it. Always down to party in Bill's town. Heck yeah,
party man. Uh Well, I'm our candle. I'm an Atlanta
basically median, and you know, I gotta say, Bill, there's
(01:02):
no party like a ridiculous news party, because a ridiculous
news party, it can't stop, won't stop. So y'all, today
is a deep dive about how to leave the party.
So we've all probably been in this situation where you're
at a social function of some kind and you're ready
to bounce. So do you say goodbye to everyone? Or
(01:23):
do you just leave without saying anything? Apparently opinions kind
of differ on this, and we're excited to dive into
some of those. And we're also joined by our very
special guest, Whitney mills SAP. Whitney is a brilliant improviser, actor, educator,
and entrepreneur will soon become a licensed pesthetician, which is amazing.
(01:44):
Congratulations everyone, Welcome Whitney Millsap. Hello everyone, thanks for having me.
Oh my gosh, we're so excited to have you here. Whitney.
It's probably my best thing in life, really truly. Yeah,
(02:06):
hashtag blasty ranger. You know, like when I think of parties,
I think of Whitney Millsap as the ultimate making the
best party hastag. You know, the interesting thing is I
don't really like to throw parties at my house though
I'm such a person who wants to be able to
leave a party and go home when I want to
(02:29):
and not have to be in that predicament of kicking
people out. But I love throwing an event elsewhere, got it? Yeah? Yeah, Well,
well that's why you're here because you're an expert, and
we want to have an experiment parties on the show
to give you number one to number one, don't have
it at your house. Perfect, Perfect. That makes a lot
(02:49):
of sense, makes a lot of sense. And for every
guest when we have on the show, we have a
segment called giving them their flowers. Since we're we'll give
you some compliments. Whitney, you're not allowed to give us
compliments in return. That's how we're And I'll go first, Whitney.
I have known you for I don't know, twelve years
something like that. You've been an amazing, amazing close friend.
Always just a pleasure and a joy to see you.
(03:10):
You're someone who just makes me smile and I feel
like it's always if I see you, there's a hug
coming and I'm excited about it. And um, you know
you have this recently you have me over. You had
this beautiful garden that you've created in your backyard and
gave a tour, and that was just something that struck
me as awesome and incredible, and you're always so and
(03:35):
what you do and just super excited to have you
on the show. Oh thank you. It's hard not to
return that, but I'll give you an extra next time
as you uh, Whitney, Uh, you know, I just gotta
echo everything that Bill said in addition to that, say,
you know, you're just so so funny. I mean, it's
just like I always just la have a smile so
(03:58):
much anytime I hang out with you, the say just
keep up coming. But the main thing I wanted to
compliment about you, Whitney, was your optimism. So your ability
to kind of like just kind of like press through stuff,
you know, and be optimistic in the way that you
do that. Whether it's like you know, like I don't know,
it's just like we got yeah, precisely, you know, and
(04:20):
it's just like I think, you know, I know that, Uh. Well,
we've performed together a lot, you know, and there's like
emotional highs and lows when you're performing and being vulnerable
in front of people, and you know, from my experience
and sharing those spaces with you is that like, that's
when you're optimism just really like kicks in, Like you
just said, you just gotta keep going. And so that's
something that I really admire about you. I think that
(04:41):
that's something that's really cool about you know, your core,
your your core self, and uh, I admire that very much,
thank you. Yeah, my core ripped out with positivity. Hell yeah,
a weekly shredded Whitney wheel step positivity shine in a
(05:02):
beam of sunlight on every everyone and everywhere she goes.
Of course we're gonna jump into our news nibbles and
that is interesting things and for this deep dive topic
for how to leave the party. Of course these news
nibbles are on that topic about leaving parties. What does
that mean? Like what are different ways to do it?
And great excited to talk to you guys about us
(05:24):
because what an interesting topic. Yeah, and holiday season is
right around the corner, exactly right, and that brings us
into this first story we're going to talk about, and
this is from q z dot com. The headline is
is that the Irish goodbye the French exit or to
leave quote the English way and apparently that depends on
where you live. And so this article says that in
the US, the quote Irish exit or Irish goodbye is
(05:47):
a satisfying way to deal with pleasantry overload when it's
time to leave a party, make a bee line to
the door, don't tell anyone, don't think the host, just
get out of there. What you call this rejection of
a farewell, however, depends on where you live. So in
the US and in England, the glorious non goodbye is
credited to the Irish uh. In British English, the act
(06:10):
is sometimes attributed to the French, called taking French leave,
which can also connote leading work without permission or just
not showing up. So, something that's interesting to point out
about these phrases that will kind of like and I'm
glad we're to kind of talking about this at the top,
is that So one explanation for the Irish goodbye, And
there's actually another explanation for the Irish goodbye will cover later,
(06:32):
But one explanation for the Irish goodbye is that it's
a stereotype about drinking habits, Irish drinking habits in particular,
i e. Being too drunk to make a ceremonious departure. Um.
And there's also like a German phrase where they use
Polish people as the butt of the joke, and that
original in the years after the fall of the Berlin Wall.
(06:54):
And so the actual German phrase is uh dies eight
I believe uh. And so some people speculate that that
German phrase, like I said, is is making Polish people
the butt of the joke. And so apparently after the
fall of the Berlin Wall, when there was a surge
in derogatory jokes about Polish people, I guess that's one
place that it came from. So it's the thing with
(07:16):
these phrases is that apparently, like most of them are
not coming out of like kind places. So yeah, so
it's it's interesting. So like, um, the article goes on
to say that, um, English phrases about the Dutch, Irish
and French are invariably invariably dig spawn during wartime or
(07:37):
from classes, classes or ethnic prejudices. So it's just kind
of something to keep in mind. And and Bill, we
were kind of talking before we recorded about like you know,
when I first heard about the Irish goodbye, like the
Irish goodbye was seen as a good thing, like just
like just leave the party, and that good habit in
my mind is like, oh, I guess the Irish figuring
(07:58):
it out, you know. But it's interesting in seeing some
of this re research is that like, sometimes the origin
for some of these phrases may not come from a
place of love. Yeah, and and it's to me it's
kind of like, you know, I we live in Georgia
and we'll poke fun at people from Florida, like my
(08:19):
lovely cousins down there, hello, and people from Alabama, you know,
and I, you know, you kind of joke and are
silly about that. And in a way, I think some
of this could be kind of an elbow or a
wink and a nod. It doesn't necessarily feel to me
like super ethnophobic, but I can definitely see where some
people could take it that way. I think Mark and
(08:39):
I we were talking about this one when he curious
about you use what your opinion on this is is,
you know, if you're bringing down people or and so,
if they're people in power, I think that's okay. If
it's the people you know in charge, that makes it
a little less. If it's people you know, immigrants or
poor folks or whatever, the people that really, you know,
(09:00):
don't have the podcast to yeel back at us, then
that might be something different. Um and in the cases
of these folks, I don't like the Irish. Yeah, I
also Mark always thought like, wow, I guess the Irish
are just a really humble people. Maybe that's what this means,
Like they're not narcissist and they don't need everyone to
know what their plans are. That's what I always assumed
(09:23):
it was. But now and kind of hearing the other terms,
I do think it's interesting that like it's geographically pinned
on a nation that's not the nation pinning it. And yeah,
I would agree with you Bill that, Like I don't know,
it's just like, well, really just shouldn't everybody be nicer
just in general, Like everybody's having a hard time. We're
(09:45):
all just trying to get through it, you know what
I mean. Life is stuff. That's why we party right
right Like earlier, Mark, when you're talking, I love the
taking French leave is also leaving work without permission or
just not showing up. I you've heard it that way, Like, yeah,
that's the thing I've never heard. If you just like
(10:09):
left work early, that's pretty funny. Taken French leave, what
you do, it's like, oh you're going to Paris, good
for you. It's a beautiful tone. The article goes on
to say that, according to linguists Anatotally Lieberman, the British
quote French lead is likely the original version to which
the French fired back with to leave the English way,
(10:32):
and from which the other idioms came. Lieberman says the
phrase might have referred to the French leading large parties
without interrupting the host to say goodbye, or more insulting
to French soldiers being supposedly prone to dessert something a
Britain obviously, dude, and that's like a quote from him.
So again, Bill, when you were talking about like, I
(10:52):
think there's like a range of like insults, right, you know,
like things are just like I'm attacking, like who you
and the people that are related to you are as
a person versus like we're kind of like maybe ribbing
each other, being like oh that's the French leavers, Like
oh yeah, well that's the leaving the way, you know
what I mean, and kind of like forth. I think
there's kind of like a range in terms of you know,
(11:15):
the harm that you're trying to do when you're saying
this there's like gentle ribbing versus like trying, and it's like,
do y' all know what the best thing that comes
out of Alabama is, right, Nascar? That's the best way,
so you know, and that's something I would tell someone
from Alabama because it's just you know, they can hit
(11:37):
that here in Atlanta. You know. It's but again, isn't
that Yeah? I don't know, but maybe it's just because
we're here and I get it more. But I guess
I feel like especially with all of the like European
wars and just again like factions, it just seems so
much it seems like more of a risk. It seems
like texting without tone, you know what I mean, Like
(11:59):
it seems like you're it's a real dicey mix. I
feel just because there are if especially if it happens
during war times or like the Berlin Wall coming down,
it just feels like these are kind of you know,
tough times where people probably don't want a good ribbing,
you know what I mean. So I don't know. And
then also it's like Georgia and Alabama have never quite
(12:21):
other than like SEC football, haven't really been at war,
you know what I mean. It's true, that's true. Yeah,
we haven't been too much at war. Um, well what
do you think? You know? So thinking about that? Are
there other phrases like ghosting for example? Yeah, I was
thinking about that earlier. Yeah, non ethnophobic phrases we can
use to describe even a party. Yeah, because ghosts they
(12:43):
can't defend themselves about to respect the spiritual realm, that's right,
Or like you know, maybe they don't care about us,
so like if they wanted to cross over and say
something about it, they would. There's ghosts being like leave early, bitch.
(13:05):
I can't leave it all. I'm here. I'm stuck in.
I'm stuck in unfinished business. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I like
the term ghosting. I do. I like that because it
can mean a number of things. I think of it
often in terms of like text or tender though, rather
(13:27):
than like a party. I don't know that I would say,
like so and so ghosted at the party. Yeah, because
ghosting maybe like if they didn't show up to the
party and they told you they wouldn't. Yeah. Oh you
know what's interesting. I was just thinking about this when
I was in college. Rather than just like ghosting, they
if you hadn't seen someone in a while, Like I
don't know, maybe you had like one semester you'd see
(13:49):
them a ton, and then the next semester you don't
see them as much or whatever. They've been busy doing
something else. You'd be like, that person has been ghost
so not ghosting, but they've just been ghost been ghosts.
They've been in ghost mode. Okay. It's like how you
could set your a I M for like away busy.
I don't know if your college campus had that, but
that's how we all chatted back in two thousand six. Yeah, same, Yeah, yeah, definitely.
(14:15):
I don't think I was using AIM, but I forget
what we used. Maybe we're Yeah, what did you use market?
You didn't use aim? Were you on some sort of
new fank technology? Oh that's right, Maybe maybe we were.
Maybe we were just texting by that point. I don't know.
(14:35):
I remember I had Facebook by freshman year, but I
don't think like Facebook Messenger was a thing though, right, Yeah, yeah,
the early days of Facebook, before there was a quote
news feed your college had to be added to because
I remember in college being in my dorm room and
hearing somebody run through the hallways, banging on doors saying
(14:56):
look Range got Facebook look Range like insane because like
I guess like Zuckerberg had like answered our prayers and
like added our college to the list. That's so funny.
I wonder how that person feels about it now, Oh,
(15:17):
probably still just as addicted. Well, this this next story,
it goes on to talk about ghosting, the Irish goodbye,
the French leave. And this is an opinion piece by
Seth Stevenson, and the main opinion is stopped saying goodbye
at parties. Here's a quote. Goodbyes are, by their very nature,
at least a mild bummer. They represent the waning of
(15:38):
an evening or an event. By the time we get
to them, were often tired, drunk, or both. The short
timer just wants to go to bed, while the night
owl would prefer not to acknowledge the growing lateness of
the hour. These sorts of goodbyes inevitably devolved into awkward
small talk that lasts too long, and then Peter's out.
You know, we value We valve vaguely to meet again,
and then linger for a moment thinking of something else
(16:00):
to say before the whole e James fizzles, etcetera, etcetera.
This several times. So obviously this person, this Seth Stevenson,
a little jaded about saying goodbye. Um, and but he
goes on. I thought, what was interesting to me about
this article two is he lists some rules that he's
come up with without ghosting. So that's what I love
(16:22):
about a party. Give me the rules, give me the
st last part. According to Seth, it might be aggressive
to ghost a gathering a fewer than ten people, and
he said ghosting a group of two or three is
(16:42):
not so much ghosting as ditching. But but if a
party includes more than fifteen or twenty attendees, there's a
decent chance no one will notice that you're gone, at
least not right away. And yeah, but then everybody's concerned
if you got like abducted. That's my issue. That's that's fair,
(17:05):
that's totally fair. And and I can think of it
like an actual example of that recently, where I was
hanging out with some friends at a party and a
friend of ours left and we just wanted to make
sure they were got home safe and all that, and
none could get in touch with her, terrifying. Yeah, it
was a little and we're a little worried, and you know,
they weren't like too drunk to drive or anything, but
(17:27):
they had had a couple of drinks and so we
were like, oh no, you know yes, And because you're like,
am I one SoundBite away from being on the news
or at l scoop or whatever it is of like, well,
you know, we never thought this would happen to Rachel,
Like what yeah, because like not even drunk driving, but
(17:48):
like just recently watched a lot of investigation discovery shout
out and the one I was watching recently is like
when there was that rash of people getting into the
wrong like lift or uber and in being murdered, and
so like that kind of thing is like, yeah, you
gotta be careful. I don't have a personal story with this,
but a girlfriend of mine was telling me about a
(18:09):
girlfriend of hers who like just ghosted at a party.
They were out celebrating her engagement and the fiancee, the
woman who was engaged, just like disappeared from the party
and she had called an uber and went home. But
everybody was like, we're terrified, Like are you okay? Yeah?
So I think it also becomes like I don't know,
(18:32):
it gets kind of dicey when you're like, I hope
this person is safe, and then I'm not waiting twenty
four hours to file a missing person's report. Every minute counts, guys.
First forty eight, we're going to take a quick break
to hear a word from our responsors. Yeah, yeah, would
(18:53):
amazing and crazy jobs to choose ridiculous news. All right,
we're back and we're talking about how to leave parties
and different ways to leave parties. And I wanted to
finish up what Seth had said in this article, because
you know, he gave those different rules for when to ghost,
and he also talked about another alternative. If you do
(19:17):
think it's an etiquette breach to just leave a party,
he said, simply replace your awkward goodbye with a heartfelt email.
Said the following moment, morning an email. There's something more
heartfeld than an email, Dearest Charles. It was. It was
(19:40):
such an honor to get crunk with you last night
at the club. Especially liked it when we both did
the snaky leg in unison. I'll hold it close to
my heart. Please keep me in mind for any future shenanigans.
Um all the best to you, roth child, you know.
And then at the end, it has like all of
your tag of like your business and everything, your phone number,
(20:01):
your fact something heartwarming about that. Yeah, I mean that
does sound maybe a text it texts text saying hey,
thanks so much, it was great seeing you last night.
Thanks for inviting me over. Um that feels much more.
I'm going to marry both Welsh. It's like, in order
(20:21):
for people not to worry about you, send him a
text as you're leaving, so it's like, hey, I'm out,
and then by the time they're like, oh my god,
have you seen Whitney? And then they check their phone
and they're like, oh, she left and she's fine, Yes,
got it, Yeah exactly, and yeah, we're not worried if
if Whitney is going to make at home or not.
Seth finishes this out with Once you mastered the basics,
(20:42):
you might try some ghosting variations. Passive friend who he
said he had a friend who favors the Northern Irish goodbye,
which is where you and you announce your intention to
ghost long in advance as a warning so there's no
collateral damage. Doesn't that just put everybody in a paranoid state?
(21:03):
Like the whole point is like you don't want to
put people out and now you're like at the party
being like, you know, I might leave it any minute.
So just now, if I go get you a beer
and don't come back, go get your own beer, right,
Yeah they could. Yeah, it just raises the tension. I do.
You know I can relate to this a little bit
because I went this is a little while ago, but
(21:24):
I went to a friends like birthday gathering, and I
was early because I had to go to another event.
And I think it started at like seven and I
had to leave it like seven thirty. And you know,
you are a party mania, Well, you know, I just
it's it's a t o life. You know, two events
(21:45):
war what. I don't know about y'all, but I typically
don't show up to a party till thirty minutes after
it starts. Anyway. So I was the first person there,
which was fine. I knew I would probably be and
I'm talking and hanging out and then you know, it
gets to seven thirty and one or two other people
have shown up. But then I was just like, Okay,
(22:05):
I gotta go. And I hadn't prefaced it to this
person that I was going to leave, and I kind
of wish I had, because I you know, it's not like, oh,
I wasn't having fun and I only wanted to spend
thirty minutes with you. It was no, I have another
thing I need to get to and I didn't want
to miss saying happy birthday. Did they give you weird
eyes or something? When you're like I gotta go? Uh?
(22:28):
You know, like what made you wish that you had?
You know, that's a good question, and maybe it's my
own paranoid This person might have had zero issues with
that whatsoever. It's just over me over analyzing the situation.
That was my question to both of you, and to
put into the circle is kind of like I think, well,
it could be my narcissism. But it's like I am
(22:49):
anxious if I don't say goodbye to everyone because I
leave the party worried that they think I've slided them.
You know, I agreed, and you know what, that's something
that yeah, we had, we had talked about and I
feel the same way Whitney. I'd like to say goodbye.
I don't like to do and irish goodbye personally. And
it's so interesting and I wonder if part of why
(23:12):
these articles if writers tend to be more introverts more
shy people who right, and maybe that's why these folks
seem to be so pro irish goodbye. But I like it,
and I like it because it, to your point, it
gives me a chance to say, talk to people. Even
(23:33):
if I didn't get a chance to talk to him earlier.
I can netally say, hey, sorry, we didn't get a
chance to connect, but it was so good to see you,
you know, and see you at the next event. Well,
just so next time, Oh sorry, I was gonna say, Bill,
next time, you're going to send him a warm email
if you don't get around to it. I was also
gonna say, like, I think there's different types of parties too,
(23:54):
you know, the party where one is trying to get
lit as it were. There's also some parties where it's
just like you're kind of going there to network, honestly,
you know what I mean, maybe established contact with someone.
And so I find in those times where it's like, hey,
maybe and it's not maybe necessarily a party per se,
So I I use that term more like fluidly or whatever.
(24:16):
But you're like gathering, Yeah, you're at a gathering, let's say,
and it's just like, oh, I know this person is
gonna be here. It'd be great to get some face
time with you, not to necessarily like connect here. But
so then when I do follow it with a Texas like,
oh yeah, I saw this person in the flesh earlier.
So in those moments, I am pretty like adamant about
(24:37):
being like, I gotta make sure I say goodbye to
this person, you know, because it's just like they may
be super busy talking to a bunch of people. It's
just like, oh, you know, Barrio, Barack Obama, great to
see it. I know you're busy being a father right
now in uh paras am or whatever, but just great
to Sorry, I just wanted to say a quick good back.
(25:00):
Much more thank you for inviting me to your basketball tournament.
You're you're on fire from deep Oh did you get
some of Michelle's celary. She loves health and nutrition, peanut
butter on a log. Imagine that, y'all. If I was like, y'all,
I just got back from brock A Michelle's party and
you're like, oh man, what was it like, It's like
(25:22):
there's just tons of celery, very strange ants on a
log everywhere delicious. Well, you know, you brought up something
in that Mark that I think is really interesting too,
is what is the difference between a social gathering and
how do you differentiate. I think it's your intention, right
(25:44):
mm hmm, Because someone may be throwing a party because
they're ready to get lit. But you're coming, as Mark said,
to be like, oh, I'd like to do maybe a
job with this person, or we have a job in
the works and I want to put some FaceTime in.
So I'm coming with the mention of like touching base
and keeping up you know, friendship or collaboration. And they
(26:08):
may be they may think like it's my forty ninth
birthday and I'm not going to remember tomorrow, you know
what I mean. Yeah, And I'll throw in a third category, Whitney.
It's just like it starts is a business thing but
becomes a party. So it's just like fundraiser, let's say,
where it's just oh yeah, it's very formal and awards
are getting handed out. But then after that we got
(26:29):
like the DJ, we got some music, we've got something.
Now it is a party, you know. So it's just
like so it ends as a party, but it's just
like this business on the front end of this Friday night, Uh,
mullet as it were. Um yeah, and we've seen the
two mark We've worked a gig together where they had
like a fundraiser but they had um a buzzword and
(26:50):
if that buzzword was said, everybody had to take a drink.
So people were getting lit quite quickly. Oh my god,
what was the buzz word? Do you remember? It was
like it was a lot of them. There's a lot
of them at the time. I mean, this was not then,
but I would say like if I were to do
one now, it would be like pivot or unprecedented something
(27:11):
like that, like something they're hearing a lot in the
world and their work synergy exact. That actually was one
of them. Yeah, yeah, that's one of leverage. Um yeah.
So this this article, this next article is really interesting
that it talks about that people who leave parties without
saying goodbye. So not us, y'all. The people who leave
(27:33):
parties without saying goodbye save up to two days per year.
Uh that's right right. Research from the u n s
WS Time Management Institute interviewed two thousand Australians, finding that
on average, this is if you go to twenty five
parties a year and from the moment we actually decided
time to leave a party. It takes us on average
(27:53):
forty five minutes to say goodbye, which I think that's
probably fairly true for me early in my experience. It
always takes longer than like, thank which means that we
spend an average in eighteen hours forty five minutes each
year saying goodbye. And a lot of times they risk
being convinced to stay at the party longer, especially by
the host. And again this is coming, This whole article
(28:14):
is coming. He finishes an article by saying, don't fall
into this trap. It's like you came to the party
to hang out with you, like, like, don't you dare
spend one more second with them? Then you agreed to
Like it's a moment too when it's just like you're
like you walk into a room of the party being like, hey, guys,
I just want to say about it, like no coming here.
(28:36):
You gotta settle this. Who would win? Who would win
in the presidential debate? Leonardo from the Ninja Turtles or
Shaquille O'Neal. And you're like, well that's a good question,
really solid solid. Yeah. From a personal story, here's the
deal is that you just have to commit. From my standpoint,
(28:58):
is like, so I my boyfriend, who is going to
be listening to this. Hi. Um, he's already said he would,
so he better. Um, but he knows this. He hates
saying goodbye. So when we get ready to go, I'm like, hey,
good to see you. Pop into the next person, Oh
my god, Hey let's catch up about that thing tomorrow.
Blah blah blah. I'm on, I'm out right. And then
(29:21):
I will be halfway to the car and he is
still inside somewhere buried, not able to leave because he
just keeps making one comment after another. And then he's like,
I think my goodbye turned weird. And I'm like, right,
because you're just say goodbye and get out, but he
can't do it. Just yeah, I can relate to that.
(29:41):
I think sometimes it is hard, and you know, I
get energy from being around people, and I love listening,
and it's I think one of those things is when
you're a good listener, um, people will just keep talking,
you know, and you're you're you're not along and you're
and and I learned more about body language too, you know,
because sometimes people just don't get the hint. And I'm
(30:02):
probably one of those people a lot of the time.
But when you literally back away or you literally start
to turn and start to walk, that can be a
good acknowledgment of Okay, well, it's good to see you're
supposed to look at people's feet, where their feet, the
direction their feet are pointed in exactly. Yeah, let's see, Whitney,
(30:22):
you're pro you're appropriate. Well I did. I literally read
a book. It's called and you know, I hate to read,
so I can do it. I'm fast at it. Hate.
It came to terms with that years ago. You know
what everyone's like, Oh, my latest book I'm reading, and
I would always feel so uncomfortable or like like, oh,
(30:43):
I guess I'm a bad person. No, I hate reading
and I'm proud of it. I got I want to
watch something. But anyways, so I read a book. Though
there are certain things that I'm interested in, I'll read
about it. And that's when you know I'm dedicated. But
it's called what Everybody So Separated Is Saying And it's
written by the FBI guy and he was like, you've
read it, yeah, where he does like interrogations and so
(31:06):
it's like all of his data about like what body
language means I think it's so interesting. Yeah, that's it's
super fascinating, right, such a good book, and well we
should have you back on sometimes Whitney, just to talk
about body language. Fascinated. There's another there's another author, Vanessa
van Edwards. I'm not reading it. Don't even tell me, Bill,
(31:31):
you know, you know it's great about her stuff though,
honestly is uh. She has a couple of books. It's
all about body language kind and stuff like that. But
she also has a great YouTube channel and sometimes okay, yes,
I'm down to Yeah, you don't need to read it.
And I think you would dig her because she's such
a great speaker and someone who's very captivating. Because that's like,
(31:53):
it sounds interesting. I love it. Yeah, yeah, that will
be the next deep dive, ye all, the next deep time.
That's so fun. Well, y'all, there's another article that I
think is kind of interesting, kind of fun. This from
CBC and the title makes this opinion very clear, which
is why ghosting a party is the right thing to do.
So now, morality is a part of it, all right,
(32:15):
So so this is what it says. Goodbyes they don't
work that the person leaving is a self imposed moment
of vulnerability to a slew of annoying interactions. You better
have a litany of excuses that they're ready to evade
all the hurdles that are going to be thrown your way.
Why are you leaving? You can't leave, you're leaving. Have
one more shot with me. You have to follow up
(32:35):
your goodbye attempt by outlining your usual bedtime and the
rest of your weekend schedule before instilling the fact that
you're adding nothing to this party for anyone to even
comprehend your desired exit. The truth is that you're leaving
the party because you want to leave the party. So
skip the excuse marathon and just leave now. I I
interpreted the tone honestly, I think you're does the next
(32:59):
reason why goodbyes they take forever. Let's take the previous
point out of the equation. An excuse free goodbye session
and even a small gathering is going to run you
at least thirty minutes or eight According to that Australian
research paper. You shoveling around with your coat and hand,
privately pulling people aside, the handshakes, hugs, that horrible small
(33:23):
talk in the doorway, doorway while you're putting your shoes on.
I guess maybe maybe you're putting your shoes if you
want people still talk. If you wanted to, yeah, if
you wanted to be out of there by eleven thirty,
you should have started making the rounds by at least. Yeah,
(33:44):
you're a schedule. In actuality, saying goodbye doesn't even mean
you want to leave anymore. It just means you want
to loiter around the room, saying all right, okay, I'm
gonna go, And then lastly it says loiter, and then
it says nobody cares. This is the biggest reason we're
all not ghosting, is it? We think people care about
our absence. Once the door closes behind you, you envisioned
(34:05):
the entire party in a panic, frantically searching in closets
and under couches to see where you've gone. But you
could peek through the window. Ten minutes later, you discover
that the party is the same, if not better than
when you left. Please take this in the best, most
freeing way possible. No one will miss you. This is
(34:26):
much more about whoever wrote this. Yes, and I think
point number four contradicts point number one, because my whole
thought during point number one was like why or it's like,
just ignore all the excuses and this like excuse thing
you'll have to be in. And it's like or you
could just be a fully functioning adult and know that
you don't owe anyone an excuse because nobody cares. And
(34:49):
I think that that feeds right into point number four
is like, yeah, nobody is concerned about your business, you
know what I mean, right exactly, And anyone who's like, oh, Whitney,
don't leave, I know that whatever is on the other
side of that that I'm leaving for be it. I
want to go up smoke weed on my couch. I
want to go watch a TV show because I'm not reading.
(35:10):
I want to go do anything else. It's like I
know that more than I want to be at this party.
So you could say whatever you want to me, but
you're not going to stand between me and a sack
full of crystals, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
it's pulling Whitney out there, and you know, and and
well the thing about like you save twenty minutes, what
are you gonna do with those you know all this
(35:32):
time that you've seen, so who's on their deathbed? Being like,
thank well, look at all these minutes I've saved my
whole life, like you roll over minutes right right? Yeah,
good thing. No one's showing up to say goodbye to
me because I never said goodbye to them. Well. This
is from ABC News another article about the Irish goodbye
(35:54):
ghosting that it's actually frowned upon by etiquette experts, which
I consider all three of us, advises the Emily Post
Institute in its online Party Manners Primer. If they're not
by the door, seek them out, thank them personally before
you go. If you need to leave early, let your
host know before the party or when you arrive so
they aren't surprised or insulted by your early departure. Yeah, yeah, right,
(36:18):
exactly as I should have done. It's I absolutely you
know what. I bet nobody noticed. This is the other thing, too,
is for the most part, whoever you're hanging out with,
shouldn't they know you and your intentions. This is what
I have to remind myself of when I do have
anxiety after leaving a party, is I'm like, what if
somebody interpreted the thing I said is whatever? Or what
if my goodbye seem like blah blah blah, and it's like, well,
(36:39):
first of all, if it did, then I hope that
we're going to enough friends that we could talk about it.
And second of all, they more than likely didn't think
that because they know me and I was at this party,
because we're friends, right exactly. Yeah, So I think if
if anything, it's it's people overthinking it, or you know,
if you do feel like you made a faux paw,
shoot a text or better yet, an email, a follow
(37:03):
up email, just a quick follow up hey, you know,
hey host, quick follow up. Wanted to make sure you know,
it's like somebody emailing a survey after their party to
be like, there are some highlights for you, what's something
we can improve upon? You know, there's one party that
I performed at, Like I did a short form in
prov set at this party, and it was a thing
where they like rented out a party house and it
(37:24):
was all these people that had come, and it was
a nice like a like an Airbnb party house, yeah,
like a home, Like it's like a house. Yeah, it
was a really nice like kind of house mansion maybe
just very fancy, but you could tell no one lived
there and it was just rented out for parties and
so uh And after the performance, as we were leaving,
(37:46):
all the people were gathered in one of the rooms
and the host was essentially conducting a survey like in
real time, Like people there and I don't know if
they were going to go back to partying or the
party was over, but he's like, so, what food do
people like? What food do people like? What else? What else?
How about the music? How do people feel about the music?
(38:09):
What are the things can we do? It was very bizarre.
I don't know how these people knew each other the
wonderful like that for event planners, like maybe they're doing
a dry run of the party so that they know
what to expect to throw parties in the future. I
don't know. Everyone was super into it though, It's like
it wasn't killing the vibe. Everyone loved because it's just
like he loved asking for people's opinions. Everyone loves sharing
(38:31):
their opinions. Very strange that this is interesting. Maybe people
do love to talk. Maybe it's a good conversation starter.
How do they like? One thing I wanted to share
from this ABC News articles going back to you know,
the definitions that we have talked about before or the
(38:53):
origins rather of some of these phrases, like Irish exit uh.
This article says that one possible theory behind the Irish
by nickname offered on hub pages infuses it with historical significance.
So this is another potential origin of the phrase, saying
it attributes the phrase to the Potato family of two
when many Irish fled their homeland for America. At the time,
(39:15):
distance and technology meant that when someone went to America,
you were gone forever and it was unlikely they would
ever speak to or see friends or family back home.
The departure was sudden and absolute. It is also plausible
that the site the site states that immigrants left for
America without telling anyone what they were up to thereby
saving themselves sad protracted buys and leave taking. I thought
(39:38):
that was another interesting potential origin of the phrase. Yeah,
also way sad and I forget who I was talking to. Okay,
this could either be a documentary I was watching, This
could be like research if I went to like a
historical home, or it could be an actual human being
that I was talking to. But it might have been
a human being. But they were in and said that
(40:01):
there were certain people they didn't say goodbye to before
they came to the States because like they just couldn't,
like they knew they were going to be gone forever
and they just couldn't say goodbye. That it would be
too hard. Yeah, it is tough. Yeah again, get that,
I'd be racked with anxiety. I don't know, though, what
(40:24):
do you guys think? Do you think this is maybe
the origin of it? And how do you feel about it?
To me, this seems the most makes the most sense,
I mean, and maybe it's just because it's the most dramatic.
So in my heart, I'm like, oh, this is the
most intense reasoning. But yeah, that that famine, the fact
that you know they could might never actually see these
people again, And gosh, it does hurt my heart knowing
(40:46):
that you couldn't that you wouldn't say goodbye, I mean,
because that is just such a dramatic way to just
where are you going to send the mail? Like there's
no you would have no idea where to send a
letter because you don't know where they're going to land. Yeah,
you know what, I think it was not a real person.
It was in fact a documentary. It was I was
(41:07):
it was about how Um, there were people who needed
titles in the United States to legitimize them in the
early beginning days. So we're talking like, what is it
like Carnegie and all of those guys. So they had
a bunchump money, but they didn't have titles. And then
at that time, the English were in terrible financial ruin
because of the economy there, so they needed the money
(41:29):
that was happening in the New World, and so they
were making these trades of like their daughters and their family,
and so people were coming over, but they were like
not saying goodbye because they were like, I'm not gonna
see him again. Wow, which is a whole other thing.
And I do love a good documentary. I will say
that for the amount I'm not reading, I am watching documentaries.
(41:52):
We will be right back with more ridiculous news after
this short preak. Yeah, confusulous lose all right, y'all. So
we're back and we're going to continue our talk about
party etiquette and how to leave a party. So this
(42:14):
is from the Washington Post, more specifically the Miss Manners column. Uh,
and the Miss Manners column is about how to leave
the party, and the headline says, don't make a scene
when leaving early, and so miss Manners, who I previously
never heard of, but they have a long running column
with people have never heard of Miss Manners. I wish
(42:36):
you never heard of missing people. She's an etiquette authority,
and so people right in. So they wrote it. Someone
wrote in the Miss Manners saying, dear Miss Manners, at
a party with many friends and acquaintances, if you need
to leave some two hours early, and have mentioned it
to a few people, must you go up to everyone
and say goodbye? Or only to the hosts after thanking them?
(42:59):
And son, was that person a little bit British? Because
should I read it again as sin a little bit
of British? I can take it again. Um, and this
is like a very authentic accent. So this is meant
to be uh oh no, I set myself up anyway, missus.
At a party with many friends and acquaintances, if you
(43:19):
need to leave up some two hours early, they mentioned
to a few people, must go up to everyone, let's
say goodbye to the host After thinking that, uh, and
so this Manner's responded with, you know, conspicuous leave taking
leave taking This so proper sounding conspicuous leave taking tends
to break up a party and should therefore be reserved
(43:41):
for an hour when the when that would be a
favorite the host in that case, A hearty goodness. I
didn't realize how late it is. Uh. The goodness is
optional can be useful in encouraging an exodus. This language
is just next level. I love it. And the opposite
and exodus, yeah, my word, yours is the opposite situation
(44:04):
for which you presumably have a good excuse, which you
would have told your host when you accepted. If everyone
looks up as you move towards the door, you remember apologetically,
I have to perform surgery in the morning, and if necessary, Oh,
please don't get up before apologizing again to the host
when you offer your thanks. Uh. And yeah, I thought
this was really interesting, but you know, I figured it
(44:27):
would be even better, honestly, to kind of continue to
this discussion with Miss Manners herself, and so Bill I
just kind of took the liberty of calling up Miss Manners.
They were kind enough to come and visit the show.
So Miss Manners, welcome to Ridiculous News. Goodness, thank you
so much for having me. This man is wow you so,
(44:48):
I you know from from the way, you're right we
thought you were British, and that sounds like you are
absolutely what one is putting pin to paper, one always
must seem as though they are indeed, Well, you know,
miss Manners, this is so great. And Mark just hand
me this this paper. So we're going to play a
game with you because we know, absolutely we know that
(45:13):
you know all about parties. But first I must say
Mr Bill Walley, Mr Mark Kindle, thank you so much
for having me to your party online today. I just
want to say that I might have to leave a
little bit later because I'm performing a surgery, so I
might I might have to dramatic exodus out of the
(45:34):
podcast at some moment. And and well, thank you so
much for because I just wanted to let you know
ahead of time. Absolutely well, well, we're going to hit
you with a couple of quick questions here about the
party etiquette. Uh So, if miss Manners, if if you're
at somebody's house, you know, if you're going to a
(45:54):
party at someone's house, should you always bring something like
drinks or food to a party? That course, I would
say that something to wet the whistle is always in um,
always in good taste, and one might want to bring
along a bit of a snack. I would I would
say a bit of a carbohydrate, something that's going to
last throughout the entire evening or perhaps that afternoon, something
(46:18):
that all of the guests can keep their their party
stamping out up. And UM, I always like to bring
a little bit of celery. I got it from UM.
It's called ans on the log. And if you take
a bit of peanut butter and you spear it inside
a salary and put a couple of reasons in it,
why you've got answer the log nutritional. That's that's really
(46:44):
something UM. You know, just out of curiosity. What are
some of the best party games? What are your what
are your favorite games to play in a party? Oh,
I'm so glad that you asked by. One of my
favorite games is everyone writes down a question and they
put it into a bowl, and then as soon as
the question has said, they all have names of everyone
at the party, and they all then get to put
(47:06):
in the name of who they think this thing is about. So,
for instance, it might be who do who do you
think stays up latest? And then everyone would pick a
name out of everybody at the party and put it
in the middle and then whoever has the most of
their name is the winner. That's right, something wonderful, so wonderful. Twister.
(47:29):
That's always a nice fan favorite. Twister. I haven't played twister,
that's right, but you need to make sure to notate
it on your invitation if you're going to be playing
such a game, because you want people to wear their
proper attire, But no worries about shoes because they'll be
putting those on at the door before they leave. Indeed, indeed,
(47:50):
well how about this one, miss Manners. If how long
should you know someone before you give them just a
kiss on the lips? Oh? I would say that is
reserved for lovers. Not okay, so only only lovers unless
one is attending some sort of key party or a
(48:12):
swing ghost party where consent is most definitely already. Um granted,
I would say that it is in poor taste to
be kissing at your party, because now you're obligated to
kiss everyone there, and you may not feel as though
you want to kiss everyone there, but as the host,
tis your duty. One for one is one for all. Gentlemen,
(48:37):
thank you so much for having me on today. Unless
you have any other pressing questions, I do have a
surgery that's happening very shortly, so I need to go
scrub in. Have a good day, gentlemen. Hey you guys.
Sorry I had to go get a snack. Oh it
was great you guys. I sent you a warm email
(48:57):
saying that I had to go away from the mic
for a minute. Do not talk about anything interesting while
I was gone, you know. And I see it now,
lad See this is the issue with email. It comes
too late, it does you know. I don't always check emails.
I don't know about y'all, but it's yeah, it's not
the top priority. What are other ways that people can
(49:21):
follow you and support the work that you're doing and
see you for our audience. Um, while I'm on Instagram,
at me out like a cat scraps like something you
would throw out, So me o scraps on Instagram. And
I also have my garden online which I've been busy with.
(49:42):
As Mark mentioned, I'm soon to be a licensed astetician,
so um soon I'm I'm going to take my state
boards and I hope to be licensed very shortly. Um
that that means I'm neglecting my garden. However, stay up
to date there with a wildly steaker and there's a
dot between each word. Um. And it's a little half
acre of land I have here right in the heart
(50:04):
of Atlanta, but I have a bunch of edible landscape
in it. I counted the other day, guys, and I
have over a hundred and nineteen edible things in my backyard. Wow,
that's amazing. Like I don't know that you would want
to eat all of them things, like you know, like
onions or like an underground artichoke, but like you could,
do you know what I mean? Yeah, that's incredible. So
(50:27):
those are the best places, do you know? I took
the notifications off of Facebook on my phone, so the
red dots never there anymore. And it's awesome and I
never check it anymore. So Instagram is really the best
way to find me. Well, that's at meal scraps on Instagram.
And and uh, we wanted to leave our audience with
(50:47):
the spring of inspiring inspirations. It's our final segment where
we leave you with a quote to think about ponder. Uh.
This one Mark Pold that I thought was awesome was
from Marilyn Monroe, and it says, the worst thing that
happens to people when they dress up and go to
a party, is that they leave their real selves at home?
Oh I read it. I didn't agree with it, but
(51:12):
I thought it was an interesting it's interesting thought. Well, Whitney,
We're so so excited to have you here. Thank you
so much into our course anytime, and for all our listeners,
thank you so much for listening in. We'd love y'all.
It means the world to us when you spend your
time with us. It's precious and we don't take it
for granted. Invite us to a party and you can,
(51:34):
and you can email us at Ridiculous News at i
heeart Media dot com and on Facebook and i G
follow Ridiculous News and you can check out our comedy
videos at Mark Kendall Comedy by All See you Later.
(51:57):
Ridiculous News is hosted by Mark Kendall and Bill Warley.
Executive producers are Ben Bullen and Noel Brown, produced and
edited by Terry Harrison. Research provided by Casey Willis and
theme music by four Eyes and Doctor Delight. Four more
podcasts from my Heart Radio visit the i Heart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows
Ridiculous News is a production of I Heart Radio and
Cool Cool Cool Audio. Yeah yeah, yeah, we're amazing and
crazy topics to dig in to Jews, you would now
done the into ridiculous News. We get us. Their views
are working the rules of broadcasting and all sorts. A while.
The course that she was lapping before, the brand up
(00:20):
beat journalism, the strange and the usual stories, and well
we gave them when it's all about ridiculous news. Everywhere
we told about ridiculous News over here. Hey, everyone, welcome
to Ridiculous News. We're not your average news show. We
cover stuff you didn't realize was news from the wild
and funny, to the deep and hidden to the absolutely ridiculous.
I'm Bill Whorley and Atlanta based filmmaker. I'm comedian and
(00:42):
I like to party. Mark. I'm always down the party,
whether it's a friend's house party, it's a party at
a warehouse, it's a dragon con, Bonnaroo, music festivals, you
name it. Always down to party in Bill's town. Heck yeah,
party man. Uh Well, I'm our candle. I'm an Atlanta
basically median, and you know, I gotta say, Bill, there's
(01:02):
no party like a ridiculous news party, because a ridiculous
news party, it can't stop, won't stop. So y'all, today
is a deep dive about how to leave the party.
So we've all probably been in this situation where you're
at a social function of some kind and you're ready
to bounce. So do you say goodbye to everyone? Or
(01:23):
do you just leave without saying anything? Apparently opinions kind
of differ on this, and we're excited to dive into
some of those. And we're also joined by our very
special guest, Whitney mills SAP. Whitney is a brilliant improviser, actor, educator,
and entrepreneur will soon become a licensed pesthetician, which is amazing.
(01:44):
Congratulations everyone, Welcome Whitney Millsap. Hello everyone, thanks for having me.
Oh my gosh, we're so excited to have you here. Whitney.
It's probably my best thing in life, really truly. Yeah,
(02:06):
hashtag blasty ranger. You know, like when I think of parties,
I think of Whitney Millsap as the ultimate making the
best party hastag. You know, the interesting thing is I
don't really like to throw parties at my house though
I'm such a person who wants to be able to
leave a party and go home when I want to
(02:29):
and not have to be in that predicament of kicking
people out. But I love throwing an event elsewhere, got it? Yeah? Yeah, Well,
well that's why you're here because you're an expert, and
we want to have an experiment parties on the show
to give you number one to number one, don't have
it at your house. Perfect, Perfect. That makes a lot
(02:49):
of sense, makes a lot of sense. And for every
guest when we have on the show, we have a
segment called giving them their flowers. Since we're we'll give
you some compliments. Whitney, you're not allowed to give us
compliments in return. That's how we're And I'll go first, Whitney.
I have known you for I don't know, twelve years
something like that. You've been an amazing, amazing close friend.
Always just a pleasure and a joy to see you.
(03:10):
You're someone who just makes me smile and I feel
like it's always if I see you, there's a hug
coming and I'm excited about it. And um, you know
you have this recently you have me over. You had
this beautiful garden that you've created in your backyard and
gave a tour, and that was just something that struck
me as awesome and incredible, and you're always so and
(03:35):
what you do and just super excited to have you
on the show. Oh thank you. It's hard not to
return that, but I'll give you an extra next time
as you uh, Whitney, Uh, you know, I just gotta
echo everything that Bill said in addition to that, say,
you know, you're just so so funny. I mean, it's
just like I always just la have a smile so
(03:58):
much anytime I hang out with you, the say just
keep up coming. But the main thing I wanted to
compliment about you, Whitney, was your optimism. So your ability
to kind of like just kind of like press through stuff,
you know, and be optimistic in the way that you
do that. Whether it's like you know, like I don't know,
it's just like we got yeah, precisely, you know, and
(04:20):
it's just like I think, you know, I know that, Uh. Well,
we've performed together a lot, you know, and there's like
emotional highs and lows when you're performing and being vulnerable
in front of people, and you know, from my experience
and sharing those spaces with you is that like, that's
when you're optimism just really like kicks in, Like you
just said, you just gotta keep going. And so that's
something that I really admire about you. I think that
(04:41):
that's something that's really cool about you know, your core,
your your core self, and uh, I admire that very much,
thank you. Yeah, my core ripped out with positivity. Hell yeah,
a weekly shredded Whitney wheel step positivity shine in a
(05:02):
beam of sunlight on every everyone and everywhere she goes.
Of course we're gonna jump into our news nibbles and
that is interesting things and for this deep dive topic
for how to leave the party. Of course these news
nibbles are on that topic about leaving parties. What does
that mean? Like what are different ways to do it?
And great excited to talk to you guys about us
(05:24):
because what an interesting topic. Yeah, and holiday season is
right around the corner, exactly right, and that brings us
into this first story we're going to talk about, and
this is from q z dot com. The headline is
is that the Irish goodbye the French exit or to
leave quote the English way and apparently that depends on
where you live. And so this article says that in
the US, the quote Irish exit or Irish goodbye is
(05:47):
a satisfying way to deal with pleasantry overload when it's
time to leave a party, make a bee line to
the door, don't tell anyone, don't think the host, just
get out of there. What you call this rejection of
a farewell, however, depends on where you live. So in
the US and in England, the glorious non goodbye is
credited to the Irish uh. In British English, the act
(06:10):
is sometimes attributed to the French, called taking French leave,
which can also connote leading work without permission or just
not showing up. So, something that's interesting to point out
about these phrases that will kind of like and I'm
glad we're to kind of talking about this at the top,
is that So one explanation for the Irish goodbye, And
there's actually another explanation for the Irish goodbye will cover later,
(06:32):
But one explanation for the Irish goodbye is that it's
a stereotype about drinking habits, Irish drinking habits in particular,
i e. Being too drunk to make a ceremonious departure. Um.
And there's also like a German phrase where they use
Polish people as the butt of the joke, and that
original in the years after the fall of the Berlin Wall.
(06:54):
And so the actual German phrase is uh dies eight
I believe uh. And so some people speculate that that
German phrase, like I said, is is making Polish people
the butt of the joke. And so apparently after the
fall of the Berlin Wall, when there was a surge
in derogatory jokes about Polish people, I guess that's one
place that it came from. So it's the thing with
(07:16):
these phrases is that apparently, like most of them are
not coming out of like kind places. So yeah, so
it's it's interesting. So like, um, the article goes on
to say that, um, English phrases about the Dutch, Irish
and French are invariably invariably dig spawn during wartime or
(07:37):
from classes, classes or ethnic prejudices. So it's just kind
of something to keep in mind. And and Bill, we
were kind of talking before we recorded about like you know,
when I first heard about the Irish goodbye, like the
Irish goodbye was seen as a good thing, like just
like just leave the party, and that good habit in
my mind is like, oh, I guess the Irish figuring
(07:58):
it out, you know. But it's interesting in seeing some
of this re research is that like, sometimes the origin
for some of these phrases may not come from a
place of love. Yeah, and and it's to me it's
kind of like, you know, I we live in Georgia
and we'll poke fun at people from Florida, like my
(08:19):
lovely cousins down there, hello, and people from Alabama, you know,
and I, you know, you kind of joke and are
silly about that. And in a way, I think some
of this could be kind of an elbow or a
wink and a nod. It doesn't necessarily feel to me
like super ethnophobic, but I can definitely see where some
people could take it that way. I think Mark and
(08:39):
I we were talking about this one when he curious
about you use what your opinion on this is is,
you know, if you're bringing down people or and so,
if they're people in power, I think that's okay. If
it's the people you know in charge, that makes it
a little less. If it's people you know, immigrants or
poor folks or whatever, the people that really, you know,
(09:00):
don't have the podcast to yeel back at us, then
that might be something different. Um and in the cases
of these folks, I don't like the Irish. Yeah, I
also Mark always thought like, wow, I guess the Irish
are just a really humble people. Maybe that's what this means,
Like they're not narcissist and they don't need everyone to
know what their plans are. That's what I always assumed
(09:23):
it was. But now and kind of hearing the other terms,
I do think it's interesting that like it's geographically pinned
on a nation that's not the nation pinning it. And yeah,
I would agree with you Bill that, Like I don't know,
it's just like, well, really just shouldn't everybody be nicer
just in general, Like everybody's having a hard time. We're
(09:45):
all just trying to get through it, you know what
I mean. Life is stuff. That's why we party right
right Like earlier, Mark, when you're talking, I love the
taking French leave is also leaving work without permission or
just not showing up. I you've heard it that way, Like, yeah,
that's the thing I've never heard. If you just like
(10:09):
left work early, that's pretty funny. Taken French leave, what
you do, it's like, oh you're going to Paris, good
for you. It's a beautiful tone. The article goes on
to say that, according to linguists Anatotally Lieberman, the British
quote French lead is likely the original version to which
the French fired back with to leave the English way,
(10:32):
and from which the other idioms came. Lieberman says the
phrase might have referred to the French leading large parties
without interrupting the host to say goodbye, or more insulting
to French soldiers being supposedly prone to dessert something a
Britain obviously, dude, and that's like a quote from him.
So again, Bill, when you were talking about like, I
(10:52):
think there's like a range of like insults, right, you know,
like things are just like I'm attacking, like who you
and the people that are related to you are as
a person versus like we're kind of like maybe ribbing
each other, being like oh that's the French leavers, Like
oh yeah, well that's the leaving the way, you know
what I mean, and kind of like forth. I think
there's kind of like a range in terms of you know,
(11:15):
the harm that you're trying to do when you're saying
this there's like gentle ribbing versus like trying, and it's like,
do y' all know what the best thing that comes
out of Alabama is, right, Nascar? That's the best way,
so you know, and that's something I would tell someone
from Alabama because it's just you know, they can hit
(11:37):
that here in Atlanta. You know. It's but again, isn't
that Yeah? I don't know, but maybe it's just because
we're here and I get it more. But I guess
I feel like especially with all of the like European
wars and just again like factions, it just seems so
much it seems like more of a risk. It seems
like texting without tone, you know what I mean, Like
(11:59):
it seems like you're it's a real dicey mix. I
feel just because there are if especially if it happens
during war times or like the Berlin Wall coming down,
it just feels like these are kind of you know,
tough times where people probably don't want a good ribbing,
you know what I mean. So I don't know. And
then also it's like Georgia and Alabama have never quite
(12:21):
other than like SEC football, haven't really been at war,
you know what I mean. It's true, that's true. Yeah,
we haven't been too much at war. Um, well what
do you think? You know? So thinking about that? Are
there other phrases like ghosting for example? Yeah, I was
thinking about that earlier. Yeah, non ethnophobic phrases we can
use to describe even a party. Yeah, because ghosts they
(12:43):
can't defend themselves about to respect the spiritual realm, that's right,
Or like you know, maybe they don't care about us,
so like if they wanted to cross over and say
something about it, they would. There's ghosts being like leave early, bitch.
(13:05):
I can't leave it all. I'm here. I'm stuck in.
I'm stuck in unfinished business. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I like
the term ghosting. I do. I like that because it
can mean a number of things. I think of it
often in terms of like text or tender though, rather
(13:27):
than like a party. I don't know that I would say,
like so and so ghosted at the party. Yeah, because
ghosting maybe like if they didn't show up to the
party and they told you they wouldn't. Yeah. Oh you
know what's interesting. I was just thinking about this when
I was in college. Rather than just like ghosting, they
if you hadn't seen someone in a while, Like I
don't know, maybe you had like one semester you'd see
(13:49):
them a ton, and then the next semester you don't
see them as much or whatever. They've been busy doing
something else. You'd be like, that person has been ghost
so not ghosting, but they've just been ghost been ghosts.
They've been in ghost mode. Okay. It's like how you
could set your a I M for like away busy.
I don't know if your college campus had that, but
that's how we all chatted back in two thousand six. Yeah, same, Yeah, yeah, definitely.
(14:15):
I don't think I was using AIM, but I forget
what we used. Maybe we're Yeah, what did you use market?
You didn't use aim? Were you on some sort of
new fank technology? Oh that's right, Maybe maybe we were.
Maybe we were just texting by that point. I don't know.
(14:35):
I remember I had Facebook by freshman year, but I
don't think like Facebook Messenger was a thing though, right, Yeah, yeah,
the early days of Facebook, before there was a quote
news feed your college had to be added to because
I remember in college being in my dorm room and
hearing somebody run through the hallways, banging on doors saying
(14:56):
look Range got Facebook look Range like insane because like
I guess like Zuckerberg had like answered our prayers and
like added our college to the list. That's so funny.
I wonder how that person feels about it now, Oh,
(15:17):
probably still just as addicted. Well, this this next story,
it goes on to talk about ghosting, the Irish goodbye,
the French leave. And this is an opinion piece by
Seth Stevenson, and the main opinion is stopped saying goodbye
at parties. Here's a quote. Goodbyes are, by their very nature,
at least a mild bummer. They represent the waning of
(15:38):
an evening or an event. By the time we get
to them, were often tired, drunk, or both. The short
timer just wants to go to bed, while the night
owl would prefer not to acknowledge the growing lateness of
the hour. These sorts of goodbyes inevitably devolved into awkward
small talk that lasts too long, and then Peter's out.
You know, we value We valve vaguely to meet again,
and then linger for a moment thinking of something else
(16:00):
to say before the whole e James fizzles, etcetera, etcetera.
This several times. So obviously this person, this Seth Stevenson,
a little jaded about saying goodbye. Um, and but he
goes on. I thought, what was interesting to me about
this article two is he lists some rules that he's
come up with without ghosting. So that's what I love
(16:22):
about a party. Give me the rules, give me the
st last part. According to Seth, it might be aggressive
to ghost a gathering a fewer than ten people, and
he said ghosting a group of two or three is
(16:42):
not so much ghosting as ditching. But but if a
party includes more than fifteen or twenty attendees, there's a
decent chance no one will notice that you're gone, at
least not right away. And yeah, but then everybody's concerned
if you got like abducted. That's my issue. That's that's fair,
(17:05):
that's totally fair. And and I can think of it
like an actual example of that recently, where I was
hanging out with some friends at a party and a
friend of ours left and we just wanted to make
sure they were got home safe and all that, and
none could get in touch with her, terrifying. Yeah, it
was a little and we're a little worried, and you know,
they weren't like too drunk to drive or anything, but
(17:27):
they had had a couple of drinks and so we
were like, oh no, you know yes, And because you're like,
am I one SoundBite away from being on the news
or at l scoop or whatever it is of like, well,
you know, we never thought this would happen to Rachel,
Like what yeah, because like not even drunk driving, but
(17:48):
like just recently watched a lot of investigation discovery shout
out and the one I was watching recently is like
when there was that rash of people getting into the
wrong like lift or uber and in being murdered, and
so like that kind of thing is like, yeah, you
gotta be careful. I don't have a personal story with this,
but a girlfriend of mine was telling me about a
(18:09):
girlfriend of hers who like just ghosted at a party.
They were out celebrating her engagement and the fiancee, the
woman who was engaged, just like disappeared from the party
and she had called an uber and went home. But
everybody was like, we're terrified, Like are you okay? Yeah?
So I think it also becomes like I don't know,
(18:32):
it gets kind of dicey when you're like, I hope
this person is safe, and then I'm not waiting twenty
four hours to file a missing person's report. Every minute counts, guys.
First forty eight, we're going to take a quick break
to hear a word from our responsors. Yeah, yeah, would
(18:53):
amazing and crazy jobs to choose ridiculous news. All right,
we're back and we're talking about how to leave parties
and different ways to leave parties. And I wanted to
finish up what Seth had said in this article, because
you know, he gave those different rules for when to ghost,
and he also talked about another alternative. If you do
(19:17):
think it's an etiquette breach to just leave a party,
he said, simply replace your awkward goodbye with a heartfelt email.
Said the following moment, morning an email. There's something more
heartfeld than an email, Dearest Charles. It was. It was
(19:40):
such an honor to get crunk with you last night
at the club. Especially liked it when we both did
the snaky leg in unison. I'll hold it close to
my heart. Please keep me in mind for any future shenanigans.
Um all the best to you, roth child, you know.
And then at the end, it has like all of
your tag of like your business and everything, your phone number,
(20:01):
your fact something heartwarming about that. Yeah, I mean that
does sound maybe a text it texts text saying hey,
thanks so much, it was great seeing you last night.
Thanks for inviting me over. Um that feels much more.
I'm going to marry both Welsh. It's like, in order
(20:21):
for people not to worry about you, send him a
text as you're leaving, so it's like, hey, I'm out,
and then by the time they're like, oh my god,
have you seen Whitney? And then they check their phone
and they're like, oh, she left and she's fine, Yes,
got it, Yeah exactly, and yeah, we're not worried if
if Whitney is going to make at home or not.
Seth finishes this out with Once you mastered the basics,
(20:42):
you might try some ghosting variations. Passive friend who he
said he had a friend who favors the Northern Irish goodbye,
which is where you and you announce your intention to
ghost long in advance as a warning so there's no
collateral damage. Doesn't that just put everybody in a paranoid state?
(21:03):
Like the whole point is like you don't want to
put people out and now you're like at the party
being like, you know, I might leave it any minute.
So just now, if I go get you a beer
and don't come back, go get your own beer, right,
Yeah they could. Yeah, it just raises the tension. I do.
You know I can relate to this a little bit
because I went this is a little while ago, but
(21:24):
I went to a friends like birthday gathering, and I
was early because I had to go to another event.
And I think it started at like seven and I
had to leave it like seven thirty. And you know,
you are a party mania, Well, you know, I just
it's it's a t o life. You know, two events
(21:45):
war what. I don't know about y'all, but I typically
don't show up to a party till thirty minutes after
it starts. Anyway. So I was the first person there,
which was fine. I knew I would probably be and
I'm talking and hanging out and then you know, it
gets to seven thirty and one or two other people
have shown up. But then I was just like, Okay,
(22:05):
I gotta go. And I hadn't prefaced it to this
person that I was going to leave, and I kind
of wish I had, because I you know, it's not like, oh,
I wasn't having fun and I only wanted to spend
thirty minutes with you. It was no, I have another
thing I need to get to and I didn't want
to miss saying happy birthday. Did they give you weird
eyes or something? When you're like I gotta go? Uh?
(22:28):
You know, like what made you wish that you had?
You know, that's a good question, and maybe it's my
own paranoid This person might have had zero issues with
that whatsoever. It's just over me over analyzing the situation.
That was my question to both of you, and to
put into the circle is kind of like I think, well,
it could be my narcissism. But it's like I am
(22:49):
anxious if I don't say goodbye to everyone because I
leave the party worried that they think I've slided them.
You know, I agreed, and you know what, that's something
that yeah, we had, we had talked about and I
feel the same way Whitney. I'd like to say goodbye.
I don't like to do and irish goodbye personally. And
it's so interesting and I wonder if part of why
(23:12):
these articles if writers tend to be more introverts more
shy people who right, and maybe that's why these folks
seem to be so pro irish goodbye. But I like it,
and I like it because it, to your point, it
gives me a chance to say, talk to people. Even
(23:33):
if I didn't get a chance to talk to him earlier.
I can netally say, hey, sorry, we didn't get a
chance to connect, but it was so good to see you,
you know, and see you at the next event. Well,
just so next time, Oh sorry, I was gonna say, Bill,
next time, you're going to send him a warm email
if you don't get around to it. I was also
gonna say, like, I think there's different types of parties too,
(23:54):
you know, the party where one is trying to get
lit as it were. There's also some parties where it's
just like you're kind of going there to network, honestly,
you know what I mean, maybe established contact with someone.
And so I find in those times where it's like, hey,
maybe and it's not maybe necessarily a party per se,
So I I use that term more like fluidly or whatever.
(24:16):
But you're like gathering, Yeah, you're at a gathering, let's say,
and it's just like, oh, I know this person is
gonna be here. It'd be great to get some face
time with you, not to necessarily like connect here. But
so then when I do follow it with a Texas like,
oh yeah, I saw this person in the flesh earlier.
So in those moments, I am pretty like adamant about
(24:37):
being like, I gotta make sure I say goodbye to
this person, you know, because it's just like they may
be super busy talking to a bunch of people. It's
just like, oh, you know, Barrio, Barack Obama, great to
see it. I know you're busy being a father right
now in uh paras am or whatever, but just great
to Sorry, I just wanted to say a quick good back.
(25:00):
Much more thank you for inviting me to your basketball tournament.
You're you're on fire from deep Oh did you get
some of Michelle's celary. She loves health and nutrition, peanut
butter on a log. Imagine that, y'all. If I was like, y'all,
I just got back from brock A Michelle's party and
you're like, oh man, what was it like, It's like
(25:22):
there's just tons of celery, very strange ants on a
log everywhere delicious. Well, you know, you brought up something
in that Mark that I think is really interesting too,
is what is the difference between a social gathering and
how do you differentiate. I think it's your intention, right
(25:44):
mm hmm, Because someone may be throwing a party because
they're ready to get lit. But you're coming, as Mark said,
to be like, oh, I'd like to do maybe a
job with this person, or we have a job in
the works and I want to put some FaceTime in.
So I'm coming with the mention of like touching base
and keeping up you know, friendship or collaboration. And they
(26:08):
may be they may think like it's my forty ninth
birthday and I'm not going to remember tomorrow, you know
what I mean. Yeah, And I'll throw in a third category, Whitney.
It's just like it starts is a business thing but
becomes a party. So it's just like fundraiser, let's say,
where it's just oh yeah, it's very formal and awards
are getting handed out. But then after that we got
(26:29):
like the DJ, we got some music, we've got something.
Now it is a party, you know. So it's just
like so it ends as a party, but it's just
like this business on the front end of this Friday night, Uh,
mullet as it were. Um yeah, and we've seen the
two mark We've worked a gig together where they had
like a fundraiser but they had um a buzzword and
(26:50):
if that buzzword was said, everybody had to take a drink.
So people were getting lit quite quickly. Oh my god,
what was the buzz word? Do you remember? It was
like it was a lot of them. There's a lot
of them at the time. I mean, this was not then,
but I would say like if I were to do
one now, it would be like pivot or unprecedented something
(27:11):
like that, like something they're hearing a lot in the
world and their work synergy exact. That actually was one
of them. Yeah, yeah, that's one of leverage. Um yeah.
So this this article, this next article is really interesting
that it talks about that people who leave parties without
saying goodbye. So not us, y'all. The people who leave
(27:33):
parties without saying goodbye save up to two days per year.
Uh that's right right. Research from the u n s
WS Time Management Institute interviewed two thousand Australians, finding that
on average, this is if you go to twenty five
parties a year and from the moment we actually decided
time to leave a party. It takes us on average
(27:53):
forty five minutes to say goodbye, which I think that's
probably fairly true for me early in my experience. It
always takes longer than like, thank which means that we
spend an average in eighteen hours forty five minutes each
year saying goodbye. And a lot of times they risk
being convinced to stay at the party longer, especially by
the host. And again this is coming, This whole article
(28:14):
is coming. He finishes an article by saying, don't fall
into this trap. It's like you came to the party
to hang out with you, like, like, don't you dare
spend one more second with them? Then you agreed to
Like it's a moment too when it's just like you're
like you walk into a room of the party being like, hey, guys,
I just want to say about it, like no coming here.
(28:36):
You gotta settle this. Who would win? Who would win
in the presidential debate? Leonardo from the Ninja Turtles or
Shaquille O'Neal. And you're like, well that's a good question,
really solid solid. Yeah. From a personal story, here's the
deal is that you just have to commit. From my standpoint,
(28:58):
is like, so I my boyfriend, who is going to
be listening to this. Hi. Um, he's already said he would,
so he better. Um, but he knows this. He hates
saying goodbye. So when we get ready to go, I'm like, hey,
good to see you. Pop into the next person, Oh
my god, Hey let's catch up about that thing tomorrow.
Blah blah blah. I'm on, I'm out right. And then
(29:21):
I will be halfway to the car and he is
still inside somewhere buried, not able to leave because he
just keeps making one comment after another. And then he's like,
I think my goodbye turned weird. And I'm like, right,
because you're just say goodbye and get out, but he
can't do it. Just yeah, I can relate to that.
(29:41):
I think sometimes it is hard, and you know, I
get energy from being around people, and I love listening,
and it's I think one of those things is when
you're a good listener, um, people will just keep talking,
you know, and you're you're you're not along and you're
and and I learned more about body language too, you know,
because sometimes people just don't get the hint. And I'm
(30:02):
probably one of those people a lot of the time.
But when you literally back away or you literally start
to turn and start to walk, that can be a
good acknowledgment of Okay, well, it's good to see you're
supposed to look at people's feet, where their feet, the
direction their feet are pointed in exactly. Yeah, let's see, Whitney,
(30:22):
you're pro you're appropriate. Well I did. I literally read
a book. It's called and you know, I hate to read,
so I can do it. I'm fast at it. Hate.
It came to terms with that years ago. You know
what everyone's like, Oh, my latest book I'm reading, and
I would always feel so uncomfortable or like like, oh,
(30:43):
I guess I'm a bad person. No, I hate reading
and I'm proud of it. I got I want to
watch something. But anyways, so I read a book. Though
there are certain things that I'm interested in, I'll read
about it. And that's when you know I'm dedicated. But
it's called what Everybody So Separated Is Saying And it's
written by the FBI guy and he was like, you've
read it, yeah, where he does like interrogations and so
(31:06):
it's like all of his data about like what body
language means I think it's so interesting. Yeah, that's it's
super fascinating, right, such a good book, and well we
should have you back on sometimes Whitney, just to talk
about body language. Fascinated. There's another there's another author, Vanessa
van Edwards. I'm not reading it. Don't even tell me, Bill,
(31:31):
you know, you know it's great about her stuff though,
honestly is uh. She has a couple of books. It's
all about body language kind and stuff like that. But
she also has a great YouTube channel and sometimes okay, yes,
I'm down to Yeah, you don't need to read it.
And I think you would dig her because she's such
a great speaker and someone who's very captivating. Because that's like,
(31:53):
it sounds interesting. I love it. Yeah, yeah, that will
be the next deep dive, ye all, the next deep time.
That's so fun. Well, y'all, there's another article that I
think is kind of interesting, kind of fun. This from
CBC and the title makes this opinion very clear, which
is why ghosting a party is the right thing to do.
So now, morality is a part of it, all right,
(32:15):
So so this is what it says. Goodbyes they don't
work that the person leaving is a self imposed moment
of vulnerability to a slew of annoying interactions. You better
have a litany of excuses that they're ready to evade
all the hurdles that are going to be thrown your way.
Why are you leaving? You can't leave, you're leaving. Have
one more shot with me. You have to follow up
(32:35):
your goodbye attempt by outlining your usual bedtime and the
rest of your weekend schedule before instilling the fact that
you're adding nothing to this party for anyone to even
comprehend your desired exit. The truth is that you're leaving
the party because you want to leave the party. So
skip the excuse marathon and just leave now. I I
interpreted the tone honestly, I think you're does the next
(32:59):
reason why goodbyes they take forever. Let's take the previous
point out of the equation. An excuse free goodbye session
and even a small gathering is going to run you
at least thirty minutes or eight According to that Australian
research paper. You shoveling around with your coat and hand,
privately pulling people aside, the handshakes, hugs, that horrible small
(33:23):
talk in the doorway, doorway while you're putting your shoes on.
I guess maybe maybe you're putting your shoes if you
want people still talk. If you wanted to, yeah, if
you wanted to be out of there by eleven thirty,
you should have started making the rounds by at least. Yeah,
(33:44):
you're a schedule. In actuality, saying goodbye doesn't even mean
you want to leave anymore. It just means you want
to loiter around the room, saying all right, okay, I'm
gonna go, And then lastly it says loiter, and then
it says nobody cares. This is the biggest reason we're
all not ghosting, is it? We think people care about
our absence. Once the door closes behind you, you envisioned
(34:05):
the entire party in a panic, frantically searching in closets
and under couches to see where you've gone. But you
could peek through the window. Ten minutes later, you discover
that the party is the same, if not better than
when you left. Please take this in the best, most
freeing way possible. No one will miss you. This is
(34:26):
much more about whoever wrote this. Yes, and I think
point number four contradicts point number one, because my whole
thought during point number one was like why or it's like,
just ignore all the excuses and this like excuse thing
you'll have to be in. And it's like or you
could just be a fully functioning adult and know that
you don't owe anyone an excuse because nobody cares. And
(34:49):
I think that that feeds right into point number four
is like, yeah, nobody is concerned about your business, you
know what I mean, right exactly, And anyone who's like, oh, Whitney,
don't leave, I know that whatever is on the other
side of that that I'm leaving for be it. I
want to go up smoke weed on my couch. I
want to go watch a TV show because I'm not reading.
(35:10):
I want to go do anything else. It's like I
know that more than I want to be at this party.
So you could say whatever you want to me, but
you're not going to stand between me and a sack
full of crystals, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah,
it's pulling Whitney out there, and you know, and and
well the thing about like you save twenty minutes, what
are you gonna do with those you know all this
(35:32):
time that you've seen, so who's on their deathbed? Being like,
thank well, look at all these minutes I've saved my
whole life, like you roll over minutes right right? Yeah,
good thing. No one's showing up to say goodbye to
me because I never said goodbye to them. Well. This
is from ABC News another article about the Irish goodbye
(35:54):
ghosting that it's actually frowned upon by etiquette experts, which
I consider all three of us, advises the Emily Post
Institute in its online Party Manners Primer. If they're not
by the door, seek them out, thank them personally before
you go. If you need to leave early, let your
host know before the party or when you arrive so
they aren't surprised or insulted by your early departure. Yeah, yeah, right,
(36:18):
exactly as I should have done. It's I absolutely you
know what. I bet nobody noticed. This is the other thing, too,
is for the most part, whoever you're hanging out with,
shouldn't they know you and your intentions. This is what
I have to remind myself of when I do have
anxiety after leaving a party, is I'm like, what if
somebody interpreted the thing I said is whatever? Or what
if my goodbye seem like blah blah blah, and it's like, well,
(36:39):
first of all, if it did, then I hope that
we're going to enough friends that we could talk about it.
And second of all, they more than likely didn't think
that because they know me and I was at this party,
because we're friends, right exactly. Yeah, So I think if
if anything, it's it's people overthinking it, or you know,
if you do feel like you made a faux paw,
shoot a text or better yet, an email, a follow
(37:03):
up email, just a quick follow up hey, you know,
hey host, quick follow up. Wanted to make sure you know,
it's like somebody emailing a survey after their party to
be like, there are some highlights for you, what's something
we can improve upon? You know, there's one party that
I performed at, Like I did a short form in
prov set at this party, and it was a thing
where they like rented out a party house and it
(37:24):
was all these people that had come, and it was
a nice like a like an Airbnb party house, yeah,
like a home, Like it's like a house. Yeah, it
was a really nice like kind of house mansion maybe
just very fancy, but you could tell no one lived
there and it was just rented out for parties and
so uh And after the performance, as we were leaving,
(37:46):
all the people were gathered in one of the rooms
and the host was essentially conducting a survey like in
real time, Like people there and I don't know if
they were going to go back to partying or the
party was over, but he's like, so, what food do
people like? What food do people like? What else? What else?
How about the music? How do people feel about the music?
(38:09):
What are the things can we do? It was very bizarre.
I don't know how these people knew each other the
wonderful like that for event planners, like maybe they're doing
a dry run of the party so that they know
what to expect to throw parties in the future. I
don't know. Everyone was super into it though, It's like
it wasn't killing the vibe. Everyone loved because it's just
like he loved asking for people's opinions. Everyone loves sharing
(38:31):
their opinions. Very strange that this is interesting. Maybe people
do love to talk. Maybe it's a good conversation starter.
How do they like? One thing I wanted to share
from this ABC News articles going back to you know,
the definitions that we have talked about before or the
(38:53):
origins rather of some of these phrases, like Irish exit uh.
This article says that one possible theory behind the Irish
by nickname offered on hub pages infuses it with historical significance.
So this is another potential origin of the phrase, saying
it attributes the phrase to the Potato family of two
when many Irish fled their homeland for America. At the time,
(39:15):
distance and technology meant that when someone went to America,
you were gone forever and it was unlikely they would
ever speak to or see friends or family back home.
The departure was sudden and absolute. It is also plausible
that the site the site states that immigrants left for
America without telling anyone what they were up to thereby
saving themselves sad protracted buys and leave taking. I thought
(39:38):
that was another interesting potential origin of the phrase. Yeah,
also way sad and I forget who I was talking to. Okay,
this could either be a documentary I was watching, This
could be like research if I went to like a
historical home, or it could be an actual human being
that I was talking to. But it might have been
a human being. But they were in and said that
(40:01):
there were certain people they didn't say goodbye to before
they came to the States because like they just couldn't,
like they knew they were going to be gone forever
and they just couldn't say goodbye. That it would be
too hard. Yeah, it is tough. Yeah again, get that,
I'd be racked with anxiety. I don't know, though, what
(40:24):
do you guys think? Do you think this is maybe
the origin of it? And how do you feel about it?
To me, this seems the most makes the most sense,
I mean, and maybe it's just because it's the most dramatic.
So in my heart, I'm like, oh, this is the
most intense reasoning. But yeah, that that famine, the fact
that you know they could might never actually see these
people again, And gosh, it does hurt my heart knowing
(40:46):
that you couldn't that you wouldn't say goodbye, I mean,
because that is just such a dramatic way to just
where are you going to send the mail? Like there's
no you would have no idea where to send a
letter because you don't know where they're going to land. Yeah,
you know what, I think it was not a real person.
It was in fact a documentary. It was I was
(41:07):
it was about how Um, there were people who needed
titles in the United States to legitimize them in the
early beginning days. So we're talking like, what is it
like Carnegie and all of those guys. So they had
a bunchump money, but they didn't have titles. And then
at that time, the English were in terrible financial ruin
because of the economy there, so they needed the money
(41:29):
that was happening in the New World, and so they
were making these trades of like their daughters and their family,
and so people were coming over, but they were like
not saying goodbye because they were like, I'm not gonna
see him again. Wow, which is a whole other thing.
And I do love a good documentary. I will say
that for the amount I'm not reading, I am watching documentaries.
(41:52):
We will be right back with more ridiculous news after
this short preak. Yeah, confusulous lose all right, y'all. So
we're back and we're going to continue our talk about
party etiquette and how to leave a party. So this
(42:14):
is from the Washington Post, more specifically the Miss Manners column. Uh,
and the Miss Manners column is about how to leave
the party, and the headline says, don't make a scene
when leaving early, and so miss Manners, who I previously
never heard of, but they have a long running column
with people have never heard of Miss Manners. I wish
(42:36):
you never heard of missing people. She's an etiquette authority,
and so people right in. So they wrote it. Someone
wrote in the Miss Manners saying, dear Miss Manners, at
a party with many friends and acquaintances, if you need
to leave some two hours early, and have mentioned it
to a few people, must you go up to everyone
and say goodbye? Or only to the hosts after thanking them?
(42:59):
And son, was that person a little bit British? Because
should I read it again as sin a little bit
of British? I can take it again. Um, and this
is like a very authentic accent. So this is meant
to be uh oh no, I set myself up anyway, missus.
At a party with many friends and acquaintances, if you
(43:19):
need to leave up some two hours early, they mentioned
to a few people, must go up to everyone, let's
say goodbye to the host After thinking that, uh, and
so this Manner's responded with, you know, conspicuous leave taking
leave taking This so proper sounding conspicuous leave taking tends
to break up a party and should therefore be reserved
(43:41):
for an hour when the when that would be a
favorite the host in that case, A hearty goodness. I
didn't realize how late it is. Uh. The goodness is
optional can be useful in encouraging an exodus. This language
is just next level. I love it. And the opposite
and exodus, yeah, my word, yours is the opposite situation
(44:04):
for which you presumably have a good excuse, which you
would have told your host when you accepted. If everyone
looks up as you move towards the door, you remember apologetically,
I have to perform surgery in the morning, and if necessary, Oh,
please don't get up before apologizing again to the host
when you offer your thanks. Uh. And yeah, I thought
this was really interesting, but you know, I figured it
(44:27):
would be even better, honestly, to kind of continue to
this discussion with Miss Manners herself, and so Bill I
just kind of took the liberty of calling up Miss Manners.
They were kind enough to come and visit the show.
So Miss Manners, welcome to Ridiculous News. Goodness, thank you
so much for having me. This man is wow you so,
(44:48):
I you know from from the way, you're right we
thought you were British, and that sounds like you are
absolutely what one is putting pin to paper, one always
must seem as though they are indeed, Well, you know,
miss Manners, this is so great. And Mark just hand
me this this paper. So we're going to play a
game with you because we know, absolutely we know that
(45:13):
you know all about parties. But first I must say
Mr Bill Walley, Mr Mark Kindle, thank you so much
for having me to your party online today. I just
want to say that I might have to leave a
little bit later because I'm performing a surgery, so I
might I might have to dramatic exodus out of the
(45:34):
podcast at some moment. And and well, thank you so
much for because I just wanted to let you know
ahead of time. Absolutely well, well, we're going to hit
you with a couple of quick questions here about the
party etiquette. Uh So, if miss Manners, if if you're
at somebody's house, you know, if you're going to a
(45:54):
party at someone's house, should you always bring something like
drinks or food to a party? That course, I would
say that something to wet the whistle is always in um,
always in good taste, and one might want to bring
along a bit of a snack. I would I would
say a bit of a carbohydrate, something that's going to
last throughout the entire evening or perhaps that afternoon, something
(46:18):
that all of the guests can keep their their party
stamping out up. And UM, I always like to bring
a little bit of celery. I got it from UM.
It's called ans on the log. And if you take
a bit of peanut butter and you spear it inside
a salary and put a couple of reasons in it,
why you've got answer the log nutritional. That's that's really
(46:44):
something UM. You know, just out of curiosity. What are
some of the best party games? What are your what
are your favorite games to play in a party? Oh,
I'm so glad that you asked by. One of my
favorite games is everyone writes down a question and they
put it into a bowl, and then as soon as
the question has said, they all have names of everyone
at the party, and they all then get to put
(47:06):
in the name of who they think this thing is about. So,
for instance, it might be who do who do you
think stays up latest? And then everyone would pick a
name out of everybody at the party and put it
in the middle and then whoever has the most of
their name is the winner. That's right, something wonderful, so wonderful. Twister.
(47:29):
That's always a nice fan favorite. Twister. I haven't played twister,
that's right, but you need to make sure to notate
it on your invitation if you're going to be playing
such a game, because you want people to wear their
proper attire, But no worries about shoes because they'll be
putting those on at the door before they leave. Indeed, indeed,
(47:50):
well how about this one, miss Manners. If how long
should you know someone before you give them just a
kiss on the lips? Oh? I would say that is
reserved for lovers. Not okay, so only only lovers unless
one is attending some sort of key party or a
(48:12):
swing ghost party where consent is most definitely already. Um granted,
I would say that it is in poor taste to
be kissing at your party, because now you're obligated to
kiss everyone there, and you may not feel as though
you want to kiss everyone there, but as the host,
tis your duty. One for one is one for all. Gentlemen,
(48:37):
thank you so much for having me on today. Unless
you have any other pressing questions, I do have a
surgery that's happening very shortly, so I need to go
scrub in. Have a good day, gentlemen. Hey you guys.
Sorry I had to go get a snack. Oh it
was great you guys. I sent you a warm email
(48:57):
saying that I had to go away from the mic
for a minute. Do not talk about anything interesting while
I was gone, you know. And I see it now,
lad See this is the issue with email. It comes
too late, it does you know. I don't always check emails.
I don't know about y'all, but it's yeah, it's not
the top priority. What are other ways that people can
(49:21):
follow you and support the work that you're doing and
see you for our audience. Um, while I'm on Instagram,
at me out like a cat scraps like something you
would throw out, So me o scraps on Instagram. And
I also have my garden online which I've been busy with.
(49:42):
As Mark mentioned, I'm soon to be a licensed astetician,
so um soon I'm I'm going to take my state
boards and I hope to be licensed very shortly. Um
that that means I'm neglecting my garden. However, stay up
to date there with a wildly steaker and there's a
dot between each word. Um. And it's a little half
acre of land I have here right in the heart
(50:04):
of Atlanta, but I have a bunch of edible landscape
in it. I counted the other day, guys, and I
have over a hundred and nineteen edible things in my backyard. Wow,
that's amazing. Like I don't know that you would want
to eat all of them things, like you know, like
onions or like an underground artichoke, but like you could,
do you know what I mean? Yeah, that's incredible. So
(50:27):
those are the best places, do you know? I took
the notifications off of Facebook on my phone, so the
red dots never there anymore. And it's awesome and I
never check it anymore. So Instagram is really the best
way to find me. Well, that's at meal scraps on Instagram.
And and uh, we wanted to leave our audience with
(50:47):
the spring of inspiring inspirations. It's our final segment where
we leave you with a quote to think about ponder. Uh.
This one Mark Pold that I thought was awesome was
from Marilyn Monroe, and it says, the worst thing that
happens to people when they dress up and go to
a party, is that they leave their real selves at home?
Oh I read it. I didn't agree with it, but
(51:12):
I thought it was an interesting it's interesting thought. Well, Whitney,
We're so so excited to have you here. Thank you
so much into our course anytime, and for all our listeners,
thank you so much for listening in. We'd love y'all.
It means the world to us when you spend your
time with us. It's precious and we don't take it
for granted. Invite us to a party and you can,
(51:34):
and you can email us at Ridiculous News at i
heeart Media dot com and on Facebook and i G
follow Ridiculous News and you can check out our comedy
videos at Mark Kendall Comedy by All See you Later.
(51:57):
Ridiculous News is hosted by Mark Kendall and Bill Warley.
Executive producers are Ben Bullen and Noel Brown, produced and
edited by Terry Harrison. Research provided by Casey Willis and
theme music by four Eyes and Doctor Delight. Four more
podcasts from my Heart Radio visit the i Heart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.