June 4, 2025 • 43 mins
Jessica Vosk is a Broadway powerhouse, beloved for her unforgettable roles as Elphaba in Wicked, Jenna in Waitress, and now starring in the critically acclaimed Hell’s Kitchen. But before gracing center stage, Jessica’s path took a very different turn — one that led her to a high-powered career on Wall Street. In this episode, Jessica shares the remarkable story of how she went from crunching numbers in finance to chasing her long-held dream of performing on Broadway. Her pivot wasn’t instant — it took years of persistence, odd jobs, missed opportunities, and unshakable belief. And for the first time publicly, Jessica opens up about one of the most difficult chapters in her life: her struggle with alcohol and the life-changing decision to go to rehab.
Be sure to subscribe, leave us a rating, and share with your friends if you liked this episode!
She Pivots was created by host Emily Tisch Sussman to highlight women, their stories, and how their pivot became their success. To learn more about Jessica, follow us on Instagram @ShePivotsThePodcast or visit shepivotsthepodcast.com.
Support the show: https://www.shepivotsthepodcast.com/
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jessica Vosk (00:00):
Welcome back to She Pivots. I'm Jessica Vosk.
Emily Tisch Sussman (00:13):
Welcome back to She Pivots, the podcast where we talk
with women who dare to pivot out of one career
and into something new and explore how their personal lives
impacts these decisions. I'm your host Emily Tish Sussman and
honor the Tony Awards this year. I'm beyond excited to
(00:35):
have on an icon in the Broadway world, Jessica Vosk.
She's graced Broadway stages with performances as Alphaba and Wicked, Jenna,
and Waitress, and currently stars in Hell's Kitchen. Her quick
wit and crystal voice captured the hearts of theater lovers.
A sharp and witty woman who loves Broadway my kind
(00:56):
of girl, so as you can imagine, we bonded instantly
when we met. I remember thinking, how have we not
known each other forever? Jessica is truly one of those
people who lights up every room she walks into, and
maybe unexpected of artists, She's practical and logical to her core,
so much so that she dropped her pursuit of musical
(01:18):
theater in college and instead went into finance, fully believing
she was closing the musical chapter of her life. She
worked her way up on Wall Street, but something was
always gnawing at her, an itch that just wouldn't go away.
In this episode, Jessica shares how she made the terrifying
leap from a stable career in finance to chasing her
(01:42):
dream on stage. But and this is the part we
don't talk about enough, it didn't all click into place
right away. Jessica didn't leave the finance job and land
a Broadway roll the next week. In fact, there were
years of struggle she had to build from the ground up.
She babysat, did odd jobs, and went to every audition
(02:05):
and networking opportunity she could. And it wasn't just the
career challenges. There were personal ones too. In fact, Jessica
shared something she's never talked about publicly before, a low
point that now, in hindsight, has allowed her to blossom
into the person and to the career she has now.
Jessica opened up about her experience dealing with alcohol and
(02:27):
ultimately her decision to go to rehab. This conversation is
real and raw, but also full of laughter, because that's
who Jessica is. She's honest, she's brave, and she's wildly talented,
and I'm so lucky to call her a friend. Enjoy.
Jessica Vosk (02:48):
I'm Jessica Vosk and I am a Broadway performer. But
I would also say that I'm kind of a jack
tress of all trades. Which trades, oh gosh, business, marketing, singing, acting.
If you want me to dance, I will, but you
(03:08):
shouldn't pay me. Teaching just entrepreneurialism, I would say. But
let's go back to a little jess Yeah, so, like,
what did you think you were going to be when
you grow up? Oh? Man, A lawyer? A lawyer. I
was pretty heavy from grade school on into criminal justice.
Any class, any ap class that I could possibly take
(03:29):
that had to do with debate, or again crime and
justice where we got to visit prisons or have you know,
very in depth conversations and debates about current trials happening
at the time was my bread and butter.
Emily Tisch Sussman (03:43):
Did you have a performer? You clearly have a performer gene,
but liked were you one of those little kids who
is like just looking to perform all the time? Yeah?
Jessica Vosk (03:53):
I was. I got bitten by the singing bug maybe
at like three years old. My dad had a band
when he was young, before he left that life and
went into pharmaceuticals. He was a singer, had like a
Crosby Stills, Nash Young kind of band, very harmonic, and
so I used to sing with him in the living
room when I was three, And so from that point on,
(04:15):
I did as many community theater things as I could.
I auditioned for all the school shows. I loved it all.
I would sit in my room for hours just singing
along to the cassette tips of my favorite Broadway shows
and my favorite singers. I mean it was I think
(04:35):
I was trying and tell people I feel music so
physically in my body that it's hard to explain.
Emily Tisch Sussman (04:43):
If you had this performer bug in you and you
were doing the community theaters and the shows, why didn't
you think of that as your future as your career?
You know what I At first?
Jessica Vosk (04:54):
I did. At first, I did after the lawyer thing.
I mean, I remember my mom got a call from
one of my grade school teachers and they were like,
Jess is really phenomenal with law and considered really pushing
her to do something like that. And then I got
really into high school plays and musicals and choir and
(05:15):
all that stuff, and I did think at that point, Okay,
is this possible? Can I do this for a living?
You know, Broadway is such a feels so very far off.
It feels i'd go see Broadway shows. I you know,
was the kid that stayed at the stage door fingers
crossed Kodak camera. Am I going to meet the Broadway stars?
What is it like? Oh my god, wigs, makeup?
Emily Tisch Sussman (05:38):
You know.
Jessica Vosk (05:38):
It seemed so otherworldly and not attainable. And yet by
the time I became a senior in high school, I
thought that I would eventually become a Broadway performer. And
I did get into a school for musical theater, and
so I did go for a semester to a musical
(05:59):
theater program. But while I was there, I just was
kind of disenchanted, I guess, and it wasn't for me.
So I quickly was like, well, shit, if this isn't
for me, then maybe am I not supposed to be
doing this thing? So then I pivoted and disenchanted by what.
You know, it was one of the It was a
(06:20):
private program, and I kind of had this mentality of
why am I not just going in auditioning?
Speaker 3 (06:27):
Right?
Jessica Vosk (06:27):
Now in New York for stuff. Not that I thought
I was better than anybody else, That's not at all
what I thought. But I also knew that it was
a lot of money to go there, and you know,
I also knew that not everybody in the program was
going to make it, and I didn't know why the
(06:48):
teachers were acting like everybody was going to just immediately
get to Broadway once those four years were done. And
then after those four years, if you don't get to Broadway,
you're saddled with what the tons of debt? And then
what right you're in a program where you're singing, acting,
and dancing all day long, But then what's the other
You're not getting any other skill that is being presented
(07:10):
in these programs. So I left, and you know, my
parents said, Okay, well you aren't not going to school,
so pick another school in state so it's nice and
financially sound, and I chowed a different major. And that
was really that I didn't I kind of didn't look
back as far as musical theater was concerned.
Emily Tisch Sussman (07:34):
Jessica moved on and started a communications investor relations program.
But the nail in the coffin was really when she
auditioned for American Idol.
Jessica Vosk (07:45):
I decided, I believe you know I again, I have
to think about it was early, very early on. I
think it must have been really right after I left
music theater school and I was in college, because I
think about the boyfriend that I was with, So it
was early on. Iimatt and I auditioned for America. I
had very early on in the season and it was
(08:07):
a held at Giant Stadium in New Jersey and thousands
of people showed up. It was like maybe two the
season after Kelly Clarkson, or two seasons after Kelly Clarkson,
so it's like the Jam and no social media, nothing
like that, nothing, nothing existed. Yet you show up, you
get a number the audition for the executive producers. I
(08:30):
made it through. I have to go back into a
holding room. I have to sign a stack of papers
of course, giving your entire life away should you make
it onto the show, but you don't care at the
time because it's American Idol. And I then made it
through to the producers. After the producers, I made it
through again to the judges. So now we're like the
(08:51):
amount of time that passes in between these auditions is
about a year. So they take a polaroid of view
in the outfit that you're in on the first time
for content annuity, to make sure that you have it
for the judges because it looks like they're filming everything
at the same time. So then I showed up at
Chelsea Pears, which is where the third and final audition
(09:14):
was for Simon, Paula and Randy and Ryan Seacrest was
there and you were allowed to bite your family. So
my family drove all the way out from Pennsylvania. My
boyfriend came and they all wait on one side of
the room and you and everybody else, all the other
contestants are on the other side of the room, and
it was wild. The celebrity judges did not show up
(09:35):
for twelve hours. We were stuck in there for twelve hours.
They did the thing where they came around and sort
of interview you on camera. The producers come around and
one producer who took a liking to me and said,
you know, is there anything in your life like have
you ever been a meth addict? Have you ever been homeless?
Have you ever gotten pregnant? Do you have a kid somewhere?
And I just I was pretty boring, and I went in.
(09:59):
Finally the judge showed up. They asked all of us
to come back. Actually, they said, the judges are really tired.
They just got here. They don't want to do this
and be on camera, but we're leaving it up to
you if you want to audition or not. And all
of us were like, our families are here, we've been
here for twelve hours, we're auditioning. Well, none of us
made it through, and they were they were in shitty moods.
(10:19):
Let's not let's not lie. But I got in. I
sank alone by heart, and Simon said I was desperate,
and I was like, just don't do anything on camera
because it's going to make it on TV if you
do something crazy on camera. Don't do anything on camera.
And Ryan Seacrest has an earpiece in and they all
have earpieces, and so you leave the room and the
(10:41):
camera follows you all the way out to the car,
and I just was tunnel vision again, very eyes to
the floor, don't say anything. And I remember we got
on the train, my boyfriend and I back to Montclair,
New Jersey, where I was living at the time, because
that's where I was going to college and I was
a mess. I was so embarrassed. I ad a hamburger
(11:03):
at the local pub and it was mostly just embarrassment
and probably a little bit of anger, but that was
a core memory. And yes, for me, it was like, Okay,
I'm done. I am yeah, Nail and Coffin. I don't
need to do this. I shouldn't be doing this. I
don't know why I thought I could do this. I'm done.
Emily Tisch Sussman (11:23):
So is that what took you in that direction? Like,
is that you know why finance? Why corporate America in
the first place that you were like, this feels this
feels secure, this feels safe, and that was what you
were aiming for at that point, Yeah.
Jessica Vosk (11:36):
It was, it was it was how to Honestly, it
was mostly me thinking about what would make my parents proud.
I guess I was also really embarrassed that they had
to be there for the American Idol thing. And you know,
a career path. My parents did practical things. You know,
my parents both have artistic qualities. My mom actually was
(11:56):
an artist, a graphic designer. She sketched and painted. But
then when in real estate, my father had a fantastic band,
he could sing, he went into pharmaceuticals, like it was
the typical boomer trajectory. And so I think there was
a part of me too that was like, I can't
believe that I went through something like that in front
of my parents, and I'm never going to I'm never
(12:18):
going to allow them to see something like that again.
And that's the first time I'm saying this out loud.
That's interesting, But it sounds like that was like what
you saw, like you were following the path of what
you saw, Like, yes, you can love art, but it's
not what you do. What you do is practical, exactly.
Emily Tisch Sussman (12:35):
And practical she was. She left any dreams of theater behind,
putting one hundred percent into this new corporate path. Jessica
finished early, graduated with honors, and found a job in finance.
Jessica Vosk (12:49):
I rose the ranks pretty fast at that job. So
for me, I worked a lot with clean energy clients.
So I had, you know, an area of clean energy,
wind energy. I had an area of corporate real estate,
and then I had a personal finance area. So I
sort of like worked in these three areas with clients,
and I would travel most of the day to day
(13:10):
was like in the office. A lot of earnings calls,
a lot of hopping on calls with executives talking about
damage control, if something stock wise happened that we had
to talk to the press about. There was a lot
of liaising between press and sea level suite, and then
there was a ton of like three days of the week,
(13:31):
I'd be in Texas doing something for this wind energy client,
or I would have to fly out to San Francisco
and do something for this personal finance company and be
with them. So it was a lot of back and
forth and taught me a lot about if I'm going
to a lunch, it's either going to be with a client,
or it's going to be with one of the head
requorters of the FT or the Wall Street Journal and
sitting with them to place a story or to make
(13:54):
sure a story doesn't get placed store to you know,
it's that kind of again, jack of all trades, ability
to be that chameleon within the job. So I rose
Arin's pretty fast at that job. It was it was
the type of thing where we were working with enough
sea level executives and doing enough pitches where it felt
(14:14):
like I was the person to be in the room
because I was really good at volleying and improving and
kind of now I would call it auditioning or walking
into a room or being you know that type of
person where you can throw me anything and I'll be
able to come back with something. So it was kind
(14:34):
of fun for me at the time. But nobody, nobody
there knew that I could sing, or that I was
a theater girly under wraps.
Emily Tisch Sussman (14:44):
But really you were pulling from your theater background to
be successful in investor relations and in business. Yes, yes,
so I didn't know that, right, but I love that,
Like already the seeds are planted. It's like a little foreshadowing.
It totally was Oh I love that. Okay, So I
think a lot about what success looks like at different
points in our lives. What do you think success was
(15:05):
for you at that point?
Jessica Vosk (15:07):
Money, health, insurance, the ability to say, like, I have
a job that I'm locked into, I work with all
of these great large companies that are you know, foreign
companies going public on the US market. Look at all
of my jargon. I'm very very smart. I think that
was success to me at the time. It wasn't necessarily happiness.
(15:29):
So it was a really interesting thing because it became
you know, how do I become the best at this
at this but I also didn't love it, so at
the time, I didn't realize that what I thought of
as success was actually hindering me.
Emily Tisch Sussman (15:47):
Well, you've shared that when you were working in finance
you started having panic attacks. What do you think drove
those and did those change how you were thinking about
your career? Yeah?
Jessica Vosk (15:57):
I mean when I was in this place of giving
pits every day or doing client pitches in a boardroom,
or I would be so stressed out and I couldn't
understand why. And I was on all these different time
zones because when the market opens in Portugal, it's the
middle of the night here, but then you know, I
(16:19):
still have to keep up with San Francisco and that's
three hours behind. It was not I didn't have a
body clock, and I didn't again, I was in my twenties.
I was burning the candle at both ends with this job.
And then I think what happened with my subconscious knowing
that I wasn't doing the thing that I loved, and
I wasn't experiencing any art, and I wasn't going to
(16:43):
any therapy or talking to anybody or confiding in anybody.
Is that stress is a silent killer. It really does kill.
In my experience, it manifested itself through sweating and my
heart rate going through the roof and feeling like I
was going to die. But I couldn't understand what that was.
I didn't know what anxiety was. I didn't know what
(17:04):
panic attacks were. I sort of just thought, like, gosh,
am I getting nervous for these meetings. I don't understand
why I would be so every single day too, You're
going out to lunches, and in order to quell the anxiety,
you're having like three glasses of wine with lunch, and
then you're doing the same thing at dinner. So that
became a whole other you know, well, in order to
(17:25):
get rid of my anxiety, I've got to have a drink.
And so it kind of was this hand in hand thing.
It was very very slippery slope at that point in
my life. Did that make you think that you were
eventually going to leave?
Like?
Emily Tisch Sussman (17:38):
Was that a pivot point?
Where is that what we call sort of like the
intervening life event where we start to think about what's
making us happy at that point or not making us
happy and precipitates the change.
Jessica Vosk (17:48):
Yeah, I mean, I think there was. It was a
very night light sprinkling of what's going on here, but
not really understanding how to figure that out. And I
mean my pivot moment, my true pivot moment, was when
kind of the universe stepped in and I was sitting
(18:09):
in my office. At this point, I was promoted to
my own office, so I had people underneath me, and
I had been sitting in my office and I again
totally sort of checked out, disassociating, knocked something over, saw
a note that fell out of a folder. I don't
know where or how this happened from my grandmother that
(18:30):
said I wish you all the luck in the world
that she wrote to me, like after a theater show
or something. And that's when I was like, I gotta go.
I have to go. I don't know how. I don't
literally know how to go. But that kicked off the
pivot of the next six months of how to make
the transition.
Emily Tisch Sussman (18:52):
When we come back, Jessica walks us through the mechanics
of her calculated but nevertheless scary pivot out of her
stable job in finance.
Jessica Vosk (19:10):
I have to go. I don't know how. I don't
literally know how to go. But that kicked off the
pivot of the next six months of how to make
the transition. I had concepts of like, Okay, I need
to leave this job. So what I want to do
(19:32):
is I want to sing. I want to be back
in that life. Okay, how am I going to do that?
Emily Tisch Sussman (19:39):
Well?
Jessica Vosk (19:40):
I had kind of met a couple of people within
the business. I had been going to this open mic
night every Monday night after work was over. I'd have
to wait till eleven pm every Monday night to try
and get hurt on this open mic night. And I
met people through that, and I thought, Okay, I've got
a network here and figure out how to get in
like the right room. How am I supposed to audition?
(20:02):
I don't have an agent. I called my parents. I
was like, okay, I'm leaving this job, and they were
like no, no, no, reverse. So they were pretty scared nervous. Again,
like my father in an interview a couple of years
ago said to ABC or something like I thought this
(20:23):
was like the worst decision she's ever made. So no,
I didn't have a plan. I just knew I had
to get laid off because that was the only way
I can collect unemployment. I knew that that if I quit,
I couldn't collect unemployment. If I quit, I wouldn't get severance,
you know, all of that kind of like stuff about
how to. And in the interim I decided to put
(20:44):
together a concert and do a concert and invite all
the finance people to come see it at the Lori
beachmanth Theater on forty second Street between nine and ten
in the basement, and make everybody come see it. As
am I like, this is what I want to do
than while I was still at the job. I don't
know what I was thinking, but I did it. And
(21:06):
subsequently the market crashed in O eight and I skillfully
got laid off. So what happened is the chirp, chirp
chatter of the real estate crash happening, the big banks
going under, etc. Was around the office. I knew we
(21:28):
would either get acquired by a London company or you know,
in order for us to stay afloat with our clientele.
So I was like, Okay, how do I do this.
I go into the HR office and I was like, hey, guys,
pleasure listen. I was just wondering if you were looking
for anybody to volunteer to be laid off because I
(21:52):
will do that. And they were like, you just got promoted,
and I said, oh, well, I'm just saying that if
you were looking for it, and they were like, this
conversation never happened. I think one of the girls who
I was close with had a chat with my boss
and I got an email from him saying a couple
of weeks later saying, hey, can I see you in
my office? And I think anybody else who got this
(22:13):
email in life would probably be like fuck no no.
I was like, yes, this is it, God like it was.
It was that moment for me. I remember going in there,
sitting down, you know, totally faking the O you know,
I can't believe and get it laid off, and of
course he probably faked it too, and everybody thought I
(22:34):
was nuts. Everyone thought I was nuts, said I would
get a certain amount of severance, YadA, YadA, YadA. I left.
I don't remember how soon after I left, but you know,
made sure everybody with kids knew that I could babysit
their kids and kept in touch with them and kind
of supplemented as much as I could. And that was that.
Emily Tisch Sussman (22:53):
Yeah, how did you once you left the stability, the
thing that you had, that thing that you had been
organizing your life around. How did you make it work
once you started? Was it auditioning?
Jessica Vosk (23:05):
Because you were.
Emily Tisch Sussman (23:06):
Also probably you know, a number of years behind everyone
else in experience that had been Yeah.
Jessica Vosk (23:12):
Way behind, way behind. I mean, I'm at this point
mid to late twenties. Kids are on Broadway now at
twenty two, twenty one, nineteen. So I was so late
to the party. I would show up every day at
six am at the Equity building. I was not an
equity performer. This is back in the day where you
had to sign up in person, not online. Rarely would
(23:34):
you get seen if you were not equity. So it
was it was so hard, man, it was. It was
really hellish. My supplemental income was babysitting. You know, you
can only collect unemployment for so long. And I just
kept doing the same thing over and over and it
is really exhausting. And I know people who do it
(23:56):
for you know, a living day in and day out,
and it is That's so I respect performers so much
because you have to keep putting yourself out there for
people who don't really give a shit. At the end
of the day. A lot of these are required calls.
They have to do these calls. You're never going to
get a phone call about it. And that's what I did.
And it was it's a bit soul sucking. Didn't make
(24:17):
your question your decision. Oh sure, I questioned that. I
questioned my decision every day. I was like, and now
I don't have health insurance. Now I don't have a
four oh one k. Now I don't have a salary
coming at every single week. And I wasn't good with
my money back then. I spent all of my money
when I was at that job. I spent it on clothes.
I spent it on booze, I spent it on dinner,
(24:38):
I spent it on travel. I did you know, It's
not like I sat and saved a bunch of money.
So it's a bit of a wake up call.
Emily Tisch Sussman (24:46):
The difficulty of making it all work started to wear
on her audition after audition, she was hustling to make
her dreams come true, and what started as a casual
drink here and there turned into a way to cope.
Jessica Vosk (25:00):
I mean, this is probably the first time ever on
an interview where I'm going to say that I relied
so much on alcohol to get me through the latter
couple of years of that that I wound up with
such a problem with alcohol that I had to, at
(25:24):
the age twenty nine, go to a rehab for twenty days.
And I've never publicly talked about that before. First of all,
for the first time in my life, I can say
that I told everybody I would never go into a
program of rehab. No, no, no, I am way better
(25:44):
than these people. I am not as bad as these people.
And then it was one of those things where I
had to actually talk to my parents about it, and
they said, no, you're going, and I was like, I'm not,
and they won. And then when I got there, I
remember being very taken aback because I was there with lawyers,
and I was there with doctors, and I was there
(26:06):
with pharmacists, and I was there with nurses, and I
was there with all of these people who I held
in high regard in life circumstances, who all had the
same problems that I did. And those twenty days of
my life was the first time that I ever had
tools put into a toolbox of how to handle emotion
and how to handle mental health and how to handle
anxiety and possible depression and how to handle the fact
(26:30):
that we're all addicted to something. So I didn't have
the use of my phone at that time, which is
another addiction. I didn't have the ability to talk to
really the outside world. I had therapy. I had therapy,
really for the first time in my life, to have
to sit and really do therapy, and then you learn
who you are. By the time I had left again
only like thirty days, but I had turned thirty, and
(26:53):
I remember feeling so different and at the time that
I had gotten into those first thirty days, it was
I'm so much better than all of you. I don't
need to be here. And by the time I left,
I was like, you know what, none of us are different.
What a wild thing for me to have such an
ego ego about this. But I think it's important to
(27:13):
my story because that kind of year of my life,
at the end of my twenties, not having I had
done a couple of like really amazing things. I had
done Carnegie Hall, a concert at Carnegie Hall with Abba,
and I had done a show with the San Francisco Symphony,
And I think it's important for people to know that
I worked really hard to even be seen for those
(27:37):
to like word of mouth, have somebody be like, Jessica
has a good voice, you should bring her in for
this thing. That my brain got ahead of myself and
I thought, these are going to be my big break.
This is going to be like it for me when
I play Carnegie Hall for the first time, and then
when I do the San Francisco Symphony, this is going
to be everybody's going to want to hire me. And
(27:57):
it was not that. So after that is when I
just like it was a downward spiral for a year
where it or I hit a rock bottom that I
believe was necessary and another impetus for a massive pivot
point in my life to get where I am now.
And all of it ties together because by the time
(28:19):
I left is when I booked Broadway show. So I
had been sober only for a few months, maybe three
or four, and I had gotten called in to audition
for a Broadway show and I didn't again. I don't
know how that happened, but back when I had been
(28:42):
sort of like auditioning all the time, a casting company
kept my headshot and resume. I wasn't right for the thing,
but they decided to keep it and bring me in
for this other thing, and it turns out I booked it.
And I just remember saying like, this would have never
happened if I didn't just go get sober booze, I,
this never would have happened.
Emily Tisch Sussman (29:02):
Do you think that the rehab gave you access to
the both the emotional tools to be able to book,
but also the fortitude to get through it.
Jessica Vosk (29:13):
Yeah, I mean I think it gives you vulnerability, right,
I really stand very firmly on the fact that I
think being vulnerable is a superpower that not a lot
of people are willing to access. Is a scary and
you have to be vulnerable if you're in a situation
where you're talking about the thing that took you to
the worst, most low part of your life, where you've
(29:34):
had to you've had to crawl out of that hole
by yourself, without help. And so yeah, I learned a
lot about emotional capability. I was way more open. I
was willing to show a lot more of myself. Was
I ever willing, really until this moment with you publicly
(29:55):
to say I was in a rehab?
Emily Tisch Sussman (29:57):
No.
Jessica Vosk (29:57):
I was very embarrassed about it for years, for years,
So that again, I have not ever publicly said it.
People know I don't drink, but nobody knows that I
got help. So again, in that American idol sense, there
was this kind of embarrassment again where I felt like
I embarrassed my family and I felt like I had
(30:19):
put people through this awful thing on my behalf. And
so for a long time it was a very dark,
dark thing for me to talk about. And now I'm
ten years into my Broadway career or I just celebrated
ten years, and I would never be here had I
not gone through that, I never would be here because
(30:40):
I never would have had the tools.
Emily Tisch Sussman (30:43):
Those tools finally landed her her first role on Broadway.
She made her debut in Bridges of Madison County as
a swing. We dive into what it entails to be
a swing and what came next for Jessica after the break,
(31:12):
And can you just explain because our podcast audience is
not on the theater lovers, although I imagine we were
probably over index for this episode, but just explain what
a swing is.
Jessica Vosk (31:21):
I think it's pretty critical to understanding for your role here.
So a swing is typically hired on a Broadway show.
There are a number of swings hired on Broadway shows
to cover various tracks who are on stage. So in
particular for the Verges of Madison County, I was hired
as the female swing to cover six different female roles,
so if one of them was out, I would have
(31:42):
to be able to go on. There are people who
make a career out of this who have done twelve
Broadway shows because they hop from show to show to
show because they have the again brain to sort of
play tetris and say, okay, I can go on for
this role right now, and then I'll go on for that.
I am satanically bad at being swing. I mean truly
had to be handheld, walked around the stage, somebody telling
(32:06):
me where to go, what to do, how to act,
what line to say. I mean, it was it was
really I was a terrorist at it, so uh and
it was my own one and done. I never was
a swing on a show again, and so yes it is.
It is actually the hardest role on Broadway.
Emily Tisch Sussman (32:21):
Though, because you had to know six different roles, and
it can happen at the drop of a half, driving
you like you won't know that day which role you're
going to do.
Jessica Vosk (32:29):
That's right, which is Wild. It's disgusting. I'm not good
at it. I really like I got I got my
way in to Broadway by being a swing and saying
yes to being a swing.
Emily Tisch Sussman (32:41):
Never even though you were bad at it, you were
still able to book jumb after. I'm presuming you were
pretty good once you were on the stage.
Jessica Vosk (32:48):
Yes, and I and I you know again, I'm a
big believer in the universe. And I happened to have
one show scheduled where I went on for a principal
track in Virgis of Medicine, and the composer lyricist Jason
mar Brown, who wrote the show, happened to be conducting
that night, so we had this moment where he got
to see me sing and do my thing on stage.
(33:11):
And after that we really started working together a lot
more outside of the theater. So that led to again
casting seeing me for the next show, which was Finding Neverland.
And then after Finding Neverland, I went into Fiddler on
the Roof on Broadway with Danny Burstein, and after Fiddler
on the Roof came Wicked. So it was all very fast.
(33:31):
It was maybe within the span of three years.
Emily Tisch Sussman (33:33):
Fifteenth Anniversary Company of Wicked, Please welcome Jessica boss.
Speaker 4 (33:40):
Was sweet Summer, chaphire, scot Feasting, York Billy feasting or
gush to apologize it.
Emily Tisch Sussman (34:01):
You want. And then when you booked Wicked, is that
when you felt like, was that like your I made
it moment? Did you have one? Yeah?
Jessica Vosk (34:21):
That was it. That was my like, I'm leading a
company on Broadway. My parents are able to come see this.
They had seen me on tour, yes, but it was
that like, I'm here on Broadway as a leading lady,
you know, booking Broadway for the first time. I've baby
made it moment for me. It's a very large I've
(34:43):
made it moment for everybody, But for me, I still
wanted I still needed to do other things. I still
had other places to go for Jessica. So by the
time Alphaba came around and it was Broadway and then
I hired a press team and ABC did a profile,
Dateline did a profile and my parents were involved and
they got interviewed. So now I have that footage. It
(35:06):
was this very very wild, book ended thing because within
that ABC interview, all the finance people got interviewed. So
to have my life laid out like that with all
of those people was very very full circle for me.
That's the very full circle thing that I will always remember.
(35:27):
Just really impressed everybody with her energy level. She worked
incredibly hard.
And nothing seemed to face her. It's definitely the emotion
of she's founded and she's so happy, and I think
as a mom, he says, I can't even.
Emily Tisch Sussman (35:46):
That's why.
Jessica Vosk (35:48):
It's wild to kind of see these people who hired
me when I was this kid out of college being
interviewed and going like, well, we thought, what are you doing?
You know, I mean, And that's also kind of it's
just helpful. My feet have always very been firmly planted
on the ground because I had these massive setbacks of like, okay,
(36:10):
I worked in finance, and then I got laid off,
and then I was able to babysit everybody, and then
I had a couple of cool little moments of big
things happened to me that I thought were going to
be huge. Then everything came crashing down and I had
to build everything back up again. So it gives you
a lot of humbling energy because I don't walk around
(36:32):
like I'm owed any of this. I don't walk around
with the attitude of a diva or I'm so good
or you owe me. I know exactly what it's like
to lose and to fall and to have to get
back up again.
Emily Tisch Sussman (36:53):
Once you got the role, did it meet your expectations
of what it would be like to do it for
a year on Broadway?
Jessica Vosk (36:58):
Oh god no. I mean the show itself is phenomenal,
but it's a really hard it's a hard track. I mean,
you're you're leading a Broadway company. There's a lot of expectation.
You know. I had done the fifteenth anniversary, so that
was a whole other, you know, huge amount of press
added to an already big show, and that's when the
(37:20):
talks of the movie had started happening. And that's you know,
Mark Platt, who is the producer of the film. He's
mostly based in la with with NBC Universal, but he
came by and we had a lovely chat and he
was very very kind with you know, the energy that
I had brought into the show for the fifteenth anniversary.
So there were a lot of amazing parts of that
really put me on the map. So there's there's this
(37:43):
double edged sort of how hard it is and how
much you learn about your strength, especially as a woman,
because we just are treated differently. I don't care if
anybody argues with me. It's just a fact. So there's
there's that, and then there's this beauty of being able
to play this this role that so many people respond to.
Emily Tisch Sussman (38:03):
Look, I think both things can be true. Like you
can go through something that is incredibly difficult and it's
worth it. Yes, Yes, I don't have to say I
regret it. You know the place that it got you
it was worth it, Yes, it really was. And I
don't There's there are a few things that I'll ever say,
like I really regret I don't even regret going to read.
I don't regret drinking, none of that. There's really few
(38:23):
things I will say I regret. I never will regret Wicked.
Jessica Vosk (38:26):
Wicked was one of the best things that's ever happened
to me and my career, But because of how difficult
it was, it taught me a ton about self love
and resilience.
Emily Tisch Sussman (38:37):
What is something that at the time you saw as
a negative or low point, but now in hindsight you
really see it as a positive that put you on
this path.
Jessica Vosk (38:47):
The negative low point was probably rehab. Yeah, outside of
leaving finance, thinking I made the worst decision in the
world auditioning for a couple months, nobody calling, thinking that
I'd become fams and not becoming famous. I mean, I
had to learn that expectation is really the enemy of
(39:11):
success in my opinion. That's just my opinion. The more
I expect, the less I get. You can only expect
things from yourself. You can't expect it from anybody else
or anything else. So I can expect perfection from myself.
I'll never deliver on perfection. I can deliver on you know,
practice and progress. I can't expect it from anybody else.
(39:32):
I can't expect to be called with the job. I
can expect to ready myself for the job. But any
of these other things that I thought were going to happen, right,
I did this thing, people heard me saying, I expect
to be a leading lady. Doesn't work that way. So
that's the stuff that I learned in that I'm the
only one that can actually do anything about my life
(39:53):
without expecting anybody else to follow suit.
Emily Tisch Sussman (39:57):
Do you think you'll pivot again?
Jessica Vosk (39:58):
Oh? Yeah, girl, I love a pivot. I love a pivot.
I don't know what it'll be, but just keeping the
options open. Yeah, I mean that's I think my happy
place is. You know, my happy place is challenge. I'm
going into Hell's Kitchen. It's an Alicia Keyes musical. I'm
known for Broadway. This is pop and I'm massively challenged
every day at this show and question myself every day
(40:24):
and have to remind myself that I asked for these challenges,
and so who knows what the next challenge will be,
But I focused on this one right now because even
this is a tiny pivot from what Broadway is. So
what the next thing will be, I don't know, but
but I will. As I like to say, I do
(40:45):
not like to half asked. I like to use my
whole ass.
Emily Tisch Sussman (40:47):
Okay, wait, before I let you go, I have to
ask your thoughts on the Wicked movie because I know
you and Arianna are friends.
Jessica Vosk (40:53):
I mean, Ariana Grande and I became quite close when
I did fifteenth Anniversary of Broadway because we did an
NBC special together, so we stayed in touch, and she
called me when she booked it, and I was so
thrilled for her because we had been talking about it
for so many months. And then I flew to London
and we had like a nice little dinner together and
chatted about the experience when she was filming, and I
(41:14):
remember at the time she was so focused on getting
it right and paying a really beautiful tribute to Kristin
Chenow with an homage to the show itself. And I
think she did all of those things. I think they
both did. I think again, Mark Platt is a genius
and really assembled a team of avengers together to put
(41:34):
the best film version of this show out. And I'm
very proud of Ariana, which she knows, and her capability
to sort of step out of her comfort zone of
I'm a pop singer, I go on tour, YadA yadeah,
and to go back to her roots of but I
can also do this other thing. And I think she
knocked it out of the park. I loved it. I
had a great time at the screening.
Emily Tisch Sussman (41:56):
I was at well. Jessica, thank you so much for
coming on. Thanks guys, so great to have you on.
Jessica Vosk (42:03):
I'm so happy that we did this. Thank you so
much for making it happen. Oh my god, I'm so happy.
Emily Tisch Sussman (42:09):
Jessica is still gracing us with her performance in Hell's Kitchen.
So if you're in New York, be sure to grab
tickets Plus, Jessica is hosting the Tony Awards Red Carpet
this Sunday. Tune into New York One to see her,
and finally, be sure to following her on Instagram at
Jessica Voss for more. Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening
(42:31):
to this episode of she Pivots. I hope you enjoyed it,
and if you did, leave us a rating and tell
your friends about us. To learn more about our guests,
follow us on Instagram at she pivots the Podcast, or
sign up for our newsletter, where you can get exclusive
behind the scenes content on our website at she pivots
thepodcast dot com. Special thanks to the she pivots team,
(42:57):
Executive producer Emily At, Associate producer and social media connoisseur
Hannah Cousins, Research director Christine Dickinson, Events and Logistics coordinator
Madeleine Sonoviak, and audio editor and mixer Nina Pollock.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
I endorse t pivos
Welcome back to She Pivots. I'm Jessica Vosk.
Emily Tisch Sussman (00:13):
Welcome back to She Pivots, the podcast where we talk
with women who dare to pivot out of one career
and into something new and explore how their personal lives
impacts these decisions. I'm your host Emily Tish Sussman and
honor the Tony Awards this year. I'm beyond excited to
(00:35):
have on an icon in the Broadway world, Jessica Vosk.
She's graced Broadway stages with performances as Alphaba and Wicked, Jenna,
and Waitress, and currently stars in Hell's Kitchen. Her quick
wit and crystal voice captured the hearts of theater lovers.
A sharp and witty woman who loves Broadway my kind
(00:56):
of girl, so as you can imagine, we bonded instantly
when we met. I remember thinking, how have we not
known each other forever? Jessica is truly one of those
people who lights up every room she walks into, and
maybe unexpected of artists, She's practical and logical to her core,
so much so that she dropped her pursuit of musical
(01:18):
theater in college and instead went into finance, fully believing
she was closing the musical chapter of her life. She
worked her way up on Wall Street, but something was
always gnawing at her, an itch that just wouldn't go away.
In this episode, Jessica shares how she made the terrifying
leap from a stable career in finance to chasing her
(01:42):
dream on stage. But and this is the part we
don't talk about enough, it didn't all click into place
right away. Jessica didn't leave the finance job and land
a Broadway roll the next week. In fact, there were
years of struggle she had to build from the ground up.
She babysat, did odd jobs, and went to every audition
(02:05):
and networking opportunity she could. And it wasn't just the
career challenges. There were personal ones too. In fact, Jessica
shared something she's never talked about publicly before, a low
point that now, in hindsight, has allowed her to blossom
into the person and to the career she has now.
Jessica opened up about her experience dealing with alcohol and
(02:27):
ultimately her decision to go to rehab. This conversation is
real and raw, but also full of laughter, because that's
who Jessica is. She's honest, she's brave, and she's wildly talented,
and I'm so lucky to call her a friend. Enjoy.
Jessica Vosk (02:48):
I'm Jessica Vosk and I am a Broadway performer. But
I would also say that I'm kind of a jack
tress of all trades. Which trades, oh gosh, business, marketing, singing, acting.
If you want me to dance, I will, but you
(03:08):
shouldn't pay me. Teaching just entrepreneurialism, I would say. But
let's go back to a little jess Yeah, so, like,
what did you think you were going to be when
you grow up? Oh? Man, A lawyer? A lawyer. I
was pretty heavy from grade school on into criminal justice.
Any class, any ap class that I could possibly take
(03:29):
that had to do with debate, or again crime and
justice where we got to visit prisons or have you know,
very in depth conversations and debates about current trials happening
at the time was my bread and butter.
Emily Tisch Sussman (03:43):
Did you have a performer? You clearly have a performer gene,
but liked were you one of those little kids who
is like just looking to perform all the time? Yeah?
Jessica Vosk (03:53):
I was. I got bitten by the singing bug maybe
at like three years old. My dad had a band
when he was young, before he left that life and
went into pharmaceuticals. He was a singer, had like a
Crosby Stills, Nash Young kind of band, very harmonic, and
so I used to sing with him in the living
room when I was three, And so from that point on,
(04:15):
I did as many community theater things as I could.
I auditioned for all the school shows. I loved it all.
I would sit in my room for hours just singing
along to the cassette tips of my favorite Broadway shows
and my favorite singers. I mean it was I think
(04:35):
I was trying and tell people I feel music so
physically in my body that it's hard to explain.
Emily Tisch Sussman (04:43):
If you had this performer bug in you and you
were doing the community theaters and the shows, why didn't
you think of that as your future as your career?
You know what I At first?
Jessica Vosk (04:54):
I did. At first, I did after the lawyer thing.
I mean, I remember my mom got a call from
one of my grade school teachers and they were like,
Jess is really phenomenal with law and considered really pushing
her to do something like that. And then I got
really into high school plays and musicals and choir and
(05:15):
all that stuff, and I did think at that point, Okay,
is this possible? Can I do this for a living?
You know, Broadway is such a feels so very far off.
It feels i'd go see Broadway shows. I you know,
was the kid that stayed at the stage door fingers
crossed Kodak camera. Am I going to meet the Broadway stars?
What is it like? Oh my god, wigs, makeup?
Emily Tisch Sussman (05:38):
You know.
Jessica Vosk (05:38):
It seemed so otherworldly and not attainable. And yet by
the time I became a senior in high school, I
thought that I would eventually become a Broadway performer. And
I did get into a school for musical theater, and
so I did go for a semester to a musical
(05:59):
theater program. But while I was there, I just was
kind of disenchanted, I guess, and it wasn't for me.
So I quickly was like, well, shit, if this isn't
for me, then maybe am I not supposed to be
doing this thing? So then I pivoted and disenchanted by what.
You know, it was one of the It was a
(06:20):
private program, and I kind of had this mentality of
why am I not just going in auditioning?
Speaker 3 (06:27):
Right?
Jessica Vosk (06:27):
Now in New York for stuff. Not that I thought
I was better than anybody else, That's not at all
what I thought. But I also knew that it was
a lot of money to go there, and you know,
I also knew that not everybody in the program was
going to make it, and I didn't know why the
(06:48):
teachers were acting like everybody was going to just immediately
get to Broadway once those four years were done. And
then after those four years, if you don't get to Broadway,
you're saddled with what the tons of debt? And then
what right you're in a program where you're singing, acting,
and dancing all day long, But then what's the other
You're not getting any other skill that is being presented
(07:10):
in these programs. So I left, and you know, my
parents said, Okay, well you aren't not going to school,
so pick another school in state so it's nice and
financially sound, and I chowed a different major. And that
was really that I didn't I kind of didn't look
back as far as musical theater was concerned.
Emily Tisch Sussman (07:34):
Jessica moved on and started a communications investor relations program.
But the nail in the coffin was really when she
auditioned for American Idol.
Jessica Vosk (07:45):
I decided, I believe you know I again, I have
to think about it was early, very early on. I
think it must have been really right after I left
music theater school and I was in college, because I
think about the boyfriend that I was with, So it
was early on. Iimatt and I auditioned for America. I
had very early on in the season and it was
(08:07):
a held at Giant Stadium in New Jersey and thousands
of people showed up. It was like maybe two the
season after Kelly Clarkson, or two seasons after Kelly Clarkson,
so it's like the Jam and no social media, nothing
like that, nothing, nothing existed. Yet you show up, you
get a number the audition for the executive producers. I
(08:30):
made it through. I have to go back into a
holding room. I have to sign a stack of papers
of course, giving your entire life away should you make
it onto the show, but you don't care at the
time because it's American Idol. And I then made it
through to the producers. After the producers, I made it
through again to the judges. So now we're like the
(08:51):
amount of time that passes in between these auditions is
about a year. So they take a polaroid of view
in the outfit that you're in on the first time
for content annuity, to make sure that you have it
for the judges because it looks like they're filming everything
at the same time. So then I showed up at
Chelsea Pears, which is where the third and final audition
(09:14):
was for Simon, Paula and Randy and Ryan Seacrest was
there and you were allowed to bite your family. So
my family drove all the way out from Pennsylvania. My
boyfriend came and they all wait on one side of
the room and you and everybody else, all the other
contestants are on the other side of the room, and
it was wild. The celebrity judges did not show up
(09:35):
for twelve hours. We were stuck in there for twelve hours.
They did the thing where they came around and sort
of interview you on camera. The producers come around and
one producer who took a liking to me and said,
you know, is there anything in your life like have
you ever been a meth addict? Have you ever been homeless?
Have you ever gotten pregnant? Do you have a kid somewhere?
And I just I was pretty boring, and I went in.
(09:59):
Finally the judge showed up. They asked all of us
to come back. Actually, they said, the judges are really tired.
They just got here. They don't want to do this
and be on camera, but we're leaving it up to
you if you want to audition or not. And all
of us were like, our families are here, we've been
here for twelve hours, we're auditioning. Well, none of us
made it through, and they were they were in shitty moods.
(10:19):
Let's not let's not lie. But I got in. I
sank alone by heart, and Simon said I was desperate,
and I was like, just don't do anything on camera
because it's going to make it on TV if you
do something crazy on camera. Don't do anything on camera.
And Ryan Seacrest has an earpiece in and they all
have earpieces, and so you leave the room and the
(10:41):
camera follows you all the way out to the car,
and I just was tunnel vision again, very eyes to
the floor, don't say anything. And I remember we got
on the train, my boyfriend and I back to Montclair,
New Jersey, where I was living at the time, because
that's where I was going to college and I was
a mess. I was so embarrassed. I ad a hamburger
(11:03):
at the local pub and it was mostly just embarrassment
and probably a little bit of anger, but that was
a core memory. And yes, for me, it was like, Okay,
I'm done. I am yeah, Nail and Coffin. I don't
need to do this. I shouldn't be doing this. I
don't know why I thought I could do this. I'm done.
Emily Tisch Sussman (11:23):
So is that what took you in that direction? Like,
is that you know why finance? Why corporate America in
the first place that you were like, this feels this
feels secure, this feels safe, and that was what you
were aiming for at that point, Yeah.
Jessica Vosk (11:36):
It was, it was it was how to Honestly, it
was mostly me thinking about what would make my parents proud.
I guess I was also really embarrassed that they had
to be there for the American Idol thing. And you know,
a career path. My parents did practical things. You know,
my parents both have artistic qualities. My mom actually was
(11:56):
an artist, a graphic designer. She sketched and painted. But
then when in real estate, my father had a fantastic band,
he could sing, he went into pharmaceuticals, like it was
the typical boomer trajectory. And so I think there was
a part of me too that was like, I can't
believe that I went through something like that in front
of my parents, and I'm never going to I'm never
(12:18):
going to allow them to see something like that again.
And that's the first time I'm saying this out loud.
That's interesting, But it sounds like that was like what
you saw, like you were following the path of what
you saw, Like, yes, you can love art, but it's
not what you do. What you do is practical, exactly.
Emily Tisch Sussman (12:35):
And practical she was. She left any dreams of theater behind,
putting one hundred percent into this new corporate path. Jessica
finished early, graduated with honors, and found a job in finance.
Jessica Vosk (12:49):
I rose the ranks pretty fast at that job. So
for me, I worked a lot with clean energy clients.
So I had, you know, an area of clean energy,
wind energy. I had an area of corporate real estate,
and then I had a personal finance area. So I
sort of like worked in these three areas with clients,
and I would travel most of the day to day
(13:10):
was like in the office. A lot of earnings calls,
a lot of hopping on calls with executives talking about
damage control, if something stock wise happened that we had
to talk to the press about. There was a lot
of liaising between press and sea level suite, and then
there was a ton of like three days of the week,
(13:31):
I'd be in Texas doing something for this wind energy client,
or I would have to fly out to San Francisco
and do something for this personal finance company and be
with them. So it was a lot of back and
forth and taught me a lot about if I'm going
to a lunch, it's either going to be with a client,
or it's going to be with one of the head
requorters of the FT or the Wall Street Journal and
sitting with them to place a story or to make
(13:54):
sure a story doesn't get placed store to you know,
it's that kind of again, jack of all trades, ability
to be that chameleon within the job. So I rose
Arin's pretty fast at that job. It was it was
the type of thing where we were working with enough
sea level executives and doing enough pitches where it felt
(14:14):
like I was the person to be in the room
because I was really good at volleying and improving and
kind of now I would call it auditioning or walking
into a room or being you know that type of
person where you can throw me anything and I'll be
able to come back with something. So it was kind
(14:34):
of fun for me at the time. But nobody, nobody
there knew that I could sing, or that I was
a theater girly under wraps.
Emily Tisch Sussman (14:44):
But really you were pulling from your theater background to
be successful in investor relations and in business. Yes, yes,
so I didn't know that, right, but I love that,
Like already the seeds are planted. It's like a little foreshadowing.
It totally was Oh I love that. Okay, So I
think a lot about what success looks like at different
points in our lives. What do you think success was
(15:05):
for you at that point?
Jessica Vosk (15:07):
Money, health, insurance, the ability to say, like, I have
a job that I'm locked into, I work with all
of these great large companies that are you know, foreign
companies going public on the US market. Look at all
of my jargon. I'm very very smart. I think that
was success to me at the time. It wasn't necessarily happiness.
(15:29):
So it was a really interesting thing because it became
you know, how do I become the best at this
at this but I also didn't love it, so at
the time, I didn't realize that what I thought of
as success was actually hindering me.
Emily Tisch Sussman (15:47):
Well, you've shared that when you were working in finance
you started having panic attacks. What do you think drove
those and did those change how you were thinking about
your career? Yeah?
Jessica Vosk (15:57):
I mean when I was in this place of giving
pits every day or doing client pitches in a boardroom,
or I would be so stressed out and I couldn't
understand why. And I was on all these different time
zones because when the market opens in Portugal, it's the
middle of the night here, but then you know, I
(16:19):
still have to keep up with San Francisco and that's
three hours behind. It was not I didn't have a
body clock, and I didn't again, I was in my twenties.
I was burning the candle at both ends with this job.
And then I think what happened with my subconscious knowing
that I wasn't doing the thing that I loved, and
I wasn't experiencing any art, and I wasn't going to
(16:43):
any therapy or talking to anybody or confiding in anybody.
Is that stress is a silent killer. It really does kill.
In my experience, it manifested itself through sweating and my
heart rate going through the roof and feeling like I
was going to die. But I couldn't understand what that was.
I didn't know what anxiety was. I didn't know what
(17:04):
panic attacks were. I sort of just thought, like, gosh,
am I getting nervous for these meetings. I don't understand
why I would be so every single day too, You're
going out to lunches, and in order to quell the anxiety,
you're having like three glasses of wine with lunch, and
then you're doing the same thing at dinner. So that
became a whole other you know, well, in order to
(17:25):
get rid of my anxiety, I've got to have a drink.
And so it kind of was this hand in hand thing.
It was very very slippery slope at that point in
my life. Did that make you think that you were
eventually going to leave?
Like?
Emily Tisch Sussman (17:38):
Was that a pivot point?
Where is that what we call sort of like the
intervening life event where we start to think about what's
making us happy at that point or not making us
happy and precipitates the change.
Jessica Vosk (17:48):
Yeah, I mean, I think there was. It was a
very night light sprinkling of what's going on here, but
not really understanding how to figure that out. And I
mean my pivot moment, my true pivot moment, was when
kind of the universe stepped in and I was sitting
(18:09):
in my office. At this point, I was promoted to
my own office, so I had people underneath me, and
I had been sitting in my office and I again
totally sort of checked out, disassociating, knocked something over, saw
a note that fell out of a folder. I don't
know where or how this happened from my grandmother that
(18:30):
said I wish you all the luck in the world
that she wrote to me, like after a theater show
or something. And that's when I was like, I gotta go.
I have to go. I don't know how. I don't
literally know how to go. But that kicked off the
pivot of the next six months of how to make
the transition.
Emily Tisch Sussman (18:52):
When we come back, Jessica walks us through the mechanics
of her calculated but nevertheless scary pivot out of her
stable job in finance.
Jessica Vosk (19:10):
I have to go. I don't know how. I don't
literally know how to go. But that kicked off the
pivot of the next six months of how to make
the transition. I had concepts of like, Okay, I need
to leave this job. So what I want to do
(19:32):
is I want to sing. I want to be back
in that life. Okay, how am I going to do that?
Emily Tisch Sussman (19:39):
Well?
Jessica Vosk (19:40):
I had kind of met a couple of people within
the business. I had been going to this open mic
night every Monday night after work was over. I'd have
to wait till eleven pm every Monday night to try
and get hurt on this open mic night. And I
met people through that, and I thought, Okay, I've got
a network here and figure out how to get in
like the right room. How am I supposed to audition?
(20:02):
I don't have an agent. I called my parents. I
was like, okay, I'm leaving this job, and they were
like no, no, no, reverse. So they were pretty scared nervous. Again,
like my father in an interview a couple of years
ago said to ABC or something like I thought this
(20:23):
was like the worst decision she's ever made. So no,
I didn't have a plan. I just knew I had
to get laid off because that was the only way
I can collect unemployment. I knew that that if I quit,
I couldn't collect unemployment. If I quit, I wouldn't get severance,
you know, all of that kind of like stuff about
how to. And in the interim I decided to put
(20:44):
together a concert and do a concert and invite all
the finance people to come see it at the Lori
beachmanth Theater on forty second Street between nine and ten
in the basement, and make everybody come see it. As
am I like, this is what I want to do
than while I was still at the job. I don't
know what I was thinking, but I did it. And
(21:06):
subsequently the market crashed in O eight and I skillfully
got laid off. So what happened is the chirp, chirp
chatter of the real estate crash happening, the big banks
going under, etc. Was around the office. I knew we
(21:28):
would either get acquired by a London company or you know,
in order for us to stay afloat with our clientele.
So I was like, Okay, how do I do this.
I go into the HR office and I was like, hey, guys,
pleasure listen. I was just wondering if you were looking
for anybody to volunteer to be laid off because I
(21:52):
will do that. And they were like, you just got promoted,
and I said, oh, well, I'm just saying that if
you were looking for it, and they were like, this
conversation never happened. I think one of the girls who
I was close with had a chat with my boss
and I got an email from him saying a couple
of weeks later saying, hey, can I see you in
my office? And I think anybody else who got this
(22:13):
email in life would probably be like fuck no no.
I was like, yes, this is it, God like it was.
It was that moment for me. I remember going in there,
sitting down, you know, totally faking the O you know,
I can't believe and get it laid off, and of
course he probably faked it too, and everybody thought I
(22:34):
was nuts. Everyone thought I was nuts, said I would
get a certain amount of severance, YadA, YadA, YadA. I left.
I don't remember how soon after I left, but you know,
made sure everybody with kids knew that I could babysit
their kids and kept in touch with them and kind
of supplemented as much as I could. And that was that.
Emily Tisch Sussman (22:53):
Yeah, how did you once you left the stability, the
thing that you had, that thing that you had been
organizing your life around. How did you make it work
once you started? Was it auditioning?
Jessica Vosk (23:05):
Because you were.
Emily Tisch Sussman (23:06):
Also probably you know, a number of years behind everyone
else in experience that had been Yeah.
Jessica Vosk (23:12):
Way behind, way behind. I mean, I'm at this point
mid to late twenties. Kids are on Broadway now at
twenty two, twenty one, nineteen. So I was so late
to the party. I would show up every day at
six am at the Equity building. I was not an
equity performer. This is back in the day where you
had to sign up in person, not online. Rarely would
(23:34):
you get seen if you were not equity. So it
was it was so hard, man, it was. It was
really hellish. My supplemental income was babysitting. You know, you
can only collect unemployment for so long. And I just
kept doing the same thing over and over and it
is really exhausting. And I know people who do it
(23:56):
for you know, a living day in and day out,
and it is That's so I respect performers so much
because you have to keep putting yourself out there for
people who don't really give a shit. At the end
of the day. A lot of these are required calls.
They have to do these calls. You're never going to
get a phone call about it. And that's what I did.
And it was it's a bit soul sucking. Didn't make
(24:17):
your question your decision. Oh sure, I questioned that. I
questioned my decision every day. I was like, and now
I don't have health insurance. Now I don't have a
four oh one k. Now I don't have a salary
coming at every single week. And I wasn't good with
my money back then. I spent all of my money
when I was at that job. I spent it on clothes.
I spent it on booze, I spent it on dinner,
(24:38):
I spent it on travel. I did you know, It's
not like I sat and saved a bunch of money.
So it's a bit of a wake up call.
Emily Tisch Sussman (24:46):
The difficulty of making it all work started to wear
on her audition after audition, she was hustling to make
her dreams come true, and what started as a casual
drink here and there turned into a way to cope.
Jessica Vosk (25:00):
I mean, this is probably the first time ever on
an interview where I'm going to say that I relied
so much on alcohol to get me through the latter
couple of years of that that I wound up with
such a problem with alcohol that I had to, at
(25:24):
the age twenty nine, go to a rehab for twenty days.
And I've never publicly talked about that before. First of all,
for the first time in my life, I can say
that I told everybody I would never go into a
program of rehab. No, no, no, I am way better
(25:44):
than these people. I am not as bad as these people.
And then it was one of those things where I
had to actually talk to my parents about it, and
they said, no, you're going, and I was like, I'm not,
and they won. And then when I got there, I
remember being very taken aback because I was there with lawyers,
and I was there with doctors, and I was there
(26:06):
with pharmacists, and I was there with nurses, and I
was there with all of these people who I held
in high regard in life circumstances, who all had the
same problems that I did. And those twenty days of
my life was the first time that I ever had
tools put into a toolbox of how to handle emotion
and how to handle mental health and how to handle
anxiety and possible depression and how to handle the fact
(26:30):
that we're all addicted to something. So I didn't have
the use of my phone at that time, which is
another addiction. I didn't have the ability to talk to
really the outside world. I had therapy. I had therapy,
really for the first time in my life, to have
to sit and really do therapy, and then you learn
who you are. By the time I had left again
only like thirty days, but I had turned thirty, and
(26:53):
I remember feeling so different and at the time that
I had gotten into those first thirty days, it was
I'm so much better than all of you. I don't
need to be here. And by the time I left,
I was like, you know what, none of us are different.
What a wild thing for me to have such an
ego ego about this. But I think it's important to
(27:13):
my story because that kind of year of my life,
at the end of my twenties, not having I had
done a couple of like really amazing things. I had
done Carnegie Hall, a concert at Carnegie Hall with Abba,
and I had done a show with the San Francisco Symphony,
And I think it's important for people to know that
I worked really hard to even be seen for those
(27:37):
to like word of mouth, have somebody be like, Jessica
has a good voice, you should bring her in for
this thing. That my brain got ahead of myself and
I thought, these are going to be my big break.
This is going to be like it for me when
I play Carnegie Hall for the first time, and then
when I do the San Francisco Symphony, this is going
to be everybody's going to want to hire me. And
(27:57):
it was not that. So after that is when I
just like it was a downward spiral for a year
where it or I hit a rock bottom that I
believe was necessary and another impetus for a massive pivot
point in my life to get where I am now.
And all of it ties together because by the time
(28:19):
I left is when I booked Broadway show. So I
had been sober only for a few months, maybe three
or four, and I had gotten called in to audition
for a Broadway show and I didn't again. I don't
know how that happened, but back when I had been
(28:42):
sort of like auditioning all the time, a casting company
kept my headshot and resume. I wasn't right for the thing,
but they decided to keep it and bring me in
for this other thing, and it turns out I booked it.
And I just remember saying like, this would have never
happened if I didn't just go get sober booze, I,
this never would have happened.
Emily Tisch Sussman (29:02):
Do you think that the rehab gave you access to
the both the emotional tools to be able to book,
but also the fortitude to get through it.
Jessica Vosk (29:13):
Yeah, I mean I think it gives you vulnerability, right,
I really stand very firmly on the fact that I
think being vulnerable is a superpower that not a lot
of people are willing to access. Is a scary and
you have to be vulnerable if you're in a situation
where you're talking about the thing that took you to
the worst, most low part of your life, where you've
(29:34):
had to you've had to crawl out of that hole
by yourself, without help. And so yeah, I learned a
lot about emotional capability. I was way more open. I
was willing to show a lot more of myself. Was
I ever willing, really until this moment with you publicly
(29:55):
to say I was in a rehab?
Emily Tisch Sussman (29:57):
No.
Jessica Vosk (29:57):
I was very embarrassed about it for years, for years,
So that again, I have not ever publicly said it.
People know I don't drink, but nobody knows that I
got help. So again, in that American idol sense, there
was this kind of embarrassment again where I felt like
I embarrassed my family and I felt like I had
(30:19):
put people through this awful thing on my behalf. And
so for a long time it was a very dark,
dark thing for me to talk about. And now I'm
ten years into my Broadway career or I just celebrated
ten years, and I would never be here had I
not gone through that, I never would be here because
(30:40):
I never would have had the tools.
Emily Tisch Sussman (30:43):
Those tools finally landed her her first role on Broadway.
She made her debut in Bridges of Madison County as
a swing. We dive into what it entails to be
a swing and what came next for Jessica after the break,
(31:12):
And can you just explain because our podcast audience is
not on the theater lovers, although I imagine we were
probably over index for this episode, but just explain what
a swing is.
Jessica Vosk (31:21):
I think it's pretty critical to understanding for your role here.
So a swing is typically hired on a Broadway show.
There are a number of swings hired on Broadway shows
to cover various tracks who are on stage. So in
particular for the Verges of Madison County, I was hired
as the female swing to cover six different female roles,
so if one of them was out, I would have
(31:42):
to be able to go on. There are people who
make a career out of this who have done twelve
Broadway shows because they hop from show to show to
show because they have the again brain to sort of
play tetris and say, okay, I can go on for
this role right now, and then I'll go on for that.
I am satanically bad at being swing. I mean truly
had to be handheld, walked around the stage, somebody telling
(32:06):
me where to go, what to do, how to act,
what line to say. I mean, it was it was
really I was a terrorist at it, so uh and
it was my own one and done. I never was
a swing on a show again, and so yes it is.
It is actually the hardest role on Broadway.
Emily Tisch Sussman (32:21):
Though, because you had to know six different roles, and
it can happen at the drop of a half, driving
you like you won't know that day which role you're
going to do.
Jessica Vosk (32:29):
That's right, which is Wild. It's disgusting. I'm not good
at it. I really like I got I got my
way in to Broadway by being a swing and saying
yes to being a swing.
Emily Tisch Sussman (32:41):
Never even though you were bad at it, you were
still able to book jumb after. I'm presuming you were
pretty good once you were on the stage.
Jessica Vosk (32:48):
Yes, and I and I you know again, I'm a
big believer in the universe. And I happened to have
one show scheduled where I went on for a principal
track in Virgis of Medicine, and the composer lyricist Jason
mar Brown, who wrote the show, happened to be conducting
that night, so we had this moment where he got
to see me sing and do my thing on stage.
(33:11):
And after that we really started working together a lot
more outside of the theater. So that led to again
casting seeing me for the next show, which was Finding Neverland.
And then after Finding Neverland, I went into Fiddler on
the Roof on Broadway with Danny Burstein, and after Fiddler
on the Roof came Wicked. So it was all very fast.
(33:31):
It was maybe within the span of three years.
Emily Tisch Sussman (33:33):
Fifteenth Anniversary Company of Wicked, Please welcome Jessica boss.
Speaker 4 (33:40):
Was sweet Summer, chaphire, scot Feasting, York Billy feasting or
gush to apologize it.
Emily Tisch Sussman (34:01):
You want. And then when you booked Wicked, is that
when you felt like, was that like your I made
it moment? Did you have one? Yeah?
Jessica Vosk (34:21):
That was it. That was my like, I'm leading a
company on Broadway. My parents are able to come see this.
They had seen me on tour, yes, but it was
that like, I'm here on Broadway as a leading lady,
you know, booking Broadway for the first time. I've baby
made it moment for me. It's a very large I've
(34:43):
made it moment for everybody, But for me, I still
wanted I still needed to do other things. I still
had other places to go for Jessica. So by the
time Alphaba came around and it was Broadway and then
I hired a press team and ABC did a profile,
Dateline did a profile and my parents were involved and
they got interviewed. So now I have that footage. It
(35:06):
was this very very wild, book ended thing because within
that ABC interview, all the finance people got interviewed. So
to have my life laid out like that with all
of those people was very very full circle for me.
That's the very full circle thing that I will always remember.
(35:27):
Just really impressed everybody with her energy level. She worked
incredibly hard.
And nothing seemed to face her. It's definitely the emotion
of she's founded and she's so happy, and I think
as a mom, he says, I can't even.
Emily Tisch Sussman (35:46):
That's why.
Jessica Vosk (35:48):
It's wild to kind of see these people who hired
me when I was this kid out of college being
interviewed and going like, well, we thought, what are you doing?
You know, I mean, And that's also kind of it's
just helpful. My feet have always very been firmly planted
on the ground because I had these massive setbacks of like, okay,
(36:10):
I worked in finance, and then I got laid off,
and then I was able to babysit everybody, and then
I had a couple of cool little moments of big
things happened to me that I thought were going to
be huge. Then everything came crashing down and I had
to build everything back up again. So it gives you
a lot of humbling energy because I don't walk around
(36:32):
like I'm owed any of this. I don't walk around
with the attitude of a diva or I'm so good
or you owe me. I know exactly what it's like
to lose and to fall and to have to get
back up again.
Emily Tisch Sussman (36:53):
Once you got the role, did it meet your expectations
of what it would be like to do it for
a year on Broadway?
Jessica Vosk (36:58):
Oh god no. I mean the show itself is phenomenal,
but it's a really hard it's a hard track. I mean,
you're you're leading a Broadway company. There's a lot of expectation.
You know. I had done the fifteenth anniversary, so that
was a whole other, you know, huge amount of press
added to an already big show, and that's when the
(37:20):
talks of the movie had started happening. And that's you know,
Mark Platt, who is the producer of the film. He's
mostly based in la with with NBC Universal, but he
came by and we had a lovely chat and he
was very very kind with you know, the energy that
I had brought into the show for the fifteenth anniversary.
So there were a lot of amazing parts of that
really put me on the map. So there's there's this
(37:43):
double edged sort of how hard it is and how
much you learn about your strength, especially as a woman,
because we just are treated differently. I don't care if
anybody argues with me. It's just a fact. So there's
there's that, and then there's this beauty of being able
to play this this role that so many people respond to.
Emily Tisch Sussman (38:03):
Look, I think both things can be true. Like you
can go through something that is incredibly difficult and it's
worth it. Yes, Yes, I don't have to say I
regret it. You know the place that it got you
it was worth it, Yes, it really was. And I
don't There's there are a few things that I'll ever say,
like I really regret I don't even regret going to read.
I don't regret drinking, none of that. There's really few
(38:23):
things I will say I regret. I never will regret Wicked.
Jessica Vosk (38:26):
Wicked was one of the best things that's ever happened
to me and my career, But because of how difficult
it was, it taught me a ton about self love
and resilience.
Emily Tisch Sussman (38:37):
What is something that at the time you saw as
a negative or low point, but now in hindsight you
really see it as a positive that put you on
this path.
Jessica Vosk (38:47):
The negative low point was probably rehab. Yeah, outside of
leaving finance, thinking I made the worst decision in the
world auditioning for a couple months, nobody calling, thinking that
I'd become fams and not becoming famous. I mean, I
had to learn that expectation is really the enemy of
(39:11):
success in my opinion. That's just my opinion. The more
I expect, the less I get. You can only expect
things from yourself. You can't expect it from anybody else
or anything else. So I can expect perfection from myself.
I'll never deliver on perfection. I can deliver on you know,
practice and progress. I can't expect it from anybody else.
(39:32):
I can't expect to be called with the job. I
can expect to ready myself for the job. But any
of these other things that I thought were going to happen, right,
I did this thing, people heard me saying, I expect
to be a leading lady. Doesn't work that way. So
that's the stuff that I learned in that I'm the
only one that can actually do anything about my life
(39:53):
without expecting anybody else to follow suit.
Emily Tisch Sussman (39:57):
Do you think you'll pivot again?
Jessica Vosk (39:58):
Oh? Yeah, girl, I love a pivot. I love a pivot.
I don't know what it'll be, but just keeping the
options open. Yeah, I mean that's I think my happy
place is. You know, my happy place is challenge. I'm
going into Hell's Kitchen. It's an Alicia Keyes musical. I'm
known for Broadway. This is pop and I'm massively challenged
every day at this show and question myself every day
(40:24):
and have to remind myself that I asked for these challenges,
and so who knows what the next challenge will be,
But I focused on this one right now because even
this is a tiny pivot from what Broadway is. So
what the next thing will be, I don't know, but
but I will. As I like to say, I do
(40:45):
not like to half asked. I like to use my
whole ass.
Emily Tisch Sussman (40:47):
Okay, wait, before I let you go, I have to
ask your thoughts on the Wicked movie because I know
you and Arianna are friends.
Jessica Vosk (40:53):
I mean, Ariana Grande and I became quite close when
I did fifteenth Anniversary of Broadway because we did an
NBC special together, so we stayed in touch, and she
called me when she booked it, and I was so
thrilled for her because we had been talking about it
for so many months. And then I flew to London
and we had like a nice little dinner together and
chatted about the experience when she was filming, and I
(41:14):
remember at the time she was so focused on getting
it right and paying a really beautiful tribute to Kristin
Chenow with an homage to the show itself. And I
think she did all of those things. I think they
both did. I think again, Mark Platt is a genius
and really assembled a team of avengers together to put
(41:34):
the best film version of this show out. And I'm
very proud of Ariana, which she knows, and her capability
to sort of step out of her comfort zone of
I'm a pop singer, I go on tour, YadA yadeah,
and to go back to her roots of but I
can also do this other thing. And I think she
knocked it out of the park. I loved it. I
had a great time at the screening.
Emily Tisch Sussman (41:56):
I was at well. Jessica, thank you so much for
coming on. Thanks guys, so great to have you on.
Jessica Vosk (42:03):
I'm so happy that we did this. Thank you so
much for making it happen. Oh my god, I'm so happy.
Emily Tisch Sussman (42:09):
Jessica is still gracing us with her performance in Hell's Kitchen.
So if you're in New York, be sure to grab
tickets Plus, Jessica is hosting the Tony Awards Red Carpet
this Sunday. Tune into New York One to see her,
and finally, be sure to following her on Instagram at
Jessica Voss for more. Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening
(42:31):
to this episode of she Pivots. I hope you enjoyed it,
and if you did, leave us a rating and tell
your friends about us. To learn more about our guests,
follow us on Instagram at she pivots the Podcast, or
sign up for our newsletter, where you can get exclusive
behind the scenes content on our website at she pivots
thepodcast dot com. Special thanks to the she pivots team,
(42:57):
Executive producer Emily At, Associate producer and social media connoisseur
Hannah Cousins, Research director Christine Dickinson, Events and Logistics coordinator
Madeleine Sonoviak, and audio editor and mixer Nina Pollock.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
I endorse t pivos
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.