Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I am Kate Hudson and my name is Oliver Hudson.
We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationships and
what it's like to be siblings.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
We are a sibling.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Ravalry.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
No, no, sibling. Don't do that with your mouth, revelry.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
That's good, there's Oliver Hudson. Welcome back to another hour
of this sweet, sweet, sultry voice. I've changed everything about myself.
I am no longer the fun loving, happy go lucky
(00:55):
man who makes jokes self deprecating. No, I am now serious.
I'm a conspiracy theorist. I have thoughts that no one
wants to hear. When you get into my mind, the
first thing you're going to want to do is get
the fuck out. That's who I've become. My name is
(01:19):
Holliver oh Hudson now, and I have changed my identity. No,
I haven't. It's just me in Colorado. Just got back
from Cape cod was with my in laws. Normally you
(01:41):
hear that and think, oh my god, rough it's the opposite.
My in laws are the greatest. We have a really
fun guest today, Ryan Traynor. Egan is his sister. If
you don't know who she is and just stopless listening.
And they were on both of them with my sister
(02:05):
when I couldn't be, when I couldn't do the show.
So now Ryan and I are going to sort of
chop it up about what it's like to be second fiddle.
I think that's why he wants to talk to me again.
I think he needs to relate to someone whose sister
is more famous than they are. That is my guess.
But let's find out. All right, let's find out. Bring
(02:28):
him on, open that goddamn door. So how are you, brother?
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Dude?
Speaker 3 (02:33):
I'm fantastic. I mean, I'm chilling that I'm in the
studio that we have at Meghan's house. Naturally Megan Trainer
my sister, that's you know. And we had done this
podcast before and I was very excited to meet you
because I think the secret to life is you want
to have You got to have mentors in your life, right,
(02:56):
people you look up to and that you could ask
for help. And I was hoping by the end, by
the end of this podcast, I could eventually be like,
you know, I'm out side. We don't have to be
buddy buddy buddies. But if I could just call you
from time to time and say, hey, how do I
do this? How do I do this? Brother thing? How
do I do this?
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Man? Because I like this? I like this.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
It's been a while journey. You know, it's been ten years,
and a lot has changed in the last three for
me because at first, you know, she calls me up.
She says, hey, drop out of college, move to LA.
This is what we're gonna do. I'm gonna be a
pop star. You're in the Entourage, and Entourage is one
of my favorite shows. And you know, we grew up
(03:39):
East Coast kids, So.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
I was how long ago was this?
Speaker 3 (03:44):
That was ten years ago?
Speaker 2 (03:45):
So Megan was just like, I'm gonna be I'm gonna
make it. I'm gonna be a fucking pop star, So
just come along for the ride.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
There was a specific moment. Okay, so I'm a I'm
a cocktail waitress at Galli Beach and Nantucket. It's me
and three girls and and uh, summer in my life. Dude,
twenty one years old. Come on, I'm walking on. I go,
you know, nice table group of women. I gotta start
the fire here, Oh Ryan's starting the fire?
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Who we go?
Speaker 3 (04:11):
It was the dream and she calls me up and
I'm on the beach and she's like, hey, you know
Justin Bieber And this is when vine was the thing.
There's a vine going viral. Justin Bieber remixed my song
I'm famous. Now I need you to move out to LA.
This is it. And that was like the exact moment.
(04:34):
And of course I just asked the bartenders I worked with, Hey,
should I drop out of college and move to LA
And they say, yeah, no brainer. You know, I could
have probably asked some more people.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Yeah, that's that's enough. Just the bartenders, you know, forget
about your parents, forget about anyone else. It's like, take
their word for it. What were you studying in college?
Speaker 3 (04:55):
Advertising in pr I was like my fourth major. I
was very bad at college, dude.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
I mean I got expelled from high school and then
going to Boulder and went two years and I was done.
I knew that, you know, college was not for me
and academics was definitely not my strong suit.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
Yeah, same boat. I mean, I got into Boulder, but
it was very expensive, and I told my mom because
my mom loved that school, I go, Mom, Unfortunately, if
you send me here, it'll be a complete waste of
money because this that was the first state to like,
uh make marijuana medicinal. Ya go, I'm just gonna burn
my way out of that school. Don't don't send me there. Yeah,
(05:35):
so that you know, then I just go to Florida
instead and just picked up all sorts of different fun habits,
more more high speed.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, a little bit higher octanement.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Yeah yeah, yep. Would have been way better off going
to Colorado. Actually, it's just like skied and smoked a
little pot. Of course, it was polar opposite, yep. So yeah,
dropping out of college was was pretty easy for me.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
But when Megan was like drop out, come with me?
I mean, were you like cool? But to do? What?
What am I doing with you? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (06:11):
Thankfully her manager at the time, Troy Carter, gave me
an opportunity to be an intern at his company, so
I at least had something to do initially. Now unfortunately,
so I'm a recovering alcoholic, right, I'm three years sober,
and to move thank you, to move to la I
(06:31):
did not. I had many opportunities thrown my way and
that was one of them, and it was the first one,
and I did not really understand how special it was
to be inside one of those, you know, talent management buildings,
and I did not sort of rise to the occasion, Okay.
I just went out constantly. So I was showing up
(06:55):
to work run rolling at like fifty percent, and you know,
that ended, and I really was doing nothing, and I
would get into fights with my dad. He's like, you
got it, you gotta do something, you gotta do something,
and I'm at the same time, I'm doing nothing. I'm
there for my sister as kind of like the positive vibe,
(07:18):
and if something crazy's going down, I was there to
be like, hey, this is okay, It's gonna be okay,
Like this is this is fucking insane, but we're going
to get through this because in the beginning there it's
Hamster Wheel and she's twenty years old and it's NonStop.
She's making everybody money. So they go go go, go,
go go go, and it was a lot. And then
(07:42):
her manager welcomed me back as a production assistant after
I begged.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
What did you actually did you get fired?
Speaker 3 (07:52):
No, just the internship ended and there wasn't really a
job opportunity got it, okay, And I was like, I
understand right, Yeah, I got you, right, But I wouldn't
bring me back either. Yeah, but I had gone on
tour with her for a little bit and did some
videography stuff, and so he understood that I kind of
enjoyed that. So we threw me into the production team
(08:13):
side of things, and that's where I learned everything, because
these guys went to you know, film school, they were legit,
and I got fast tracked into learning how to do everything,
and then went back on tour with Megan and I
became her behind the scenes content capture, okay, video photography,
and that's what I did. You really up until up
(08:38):
until the end of twenty nine or twenty twenty, you know,
And yeah, but it's.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
And then after twenty twenty, after that then.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
What well the world shut down? And yeah, I wasn't
able to hide my alcoholism. You know, when you're when
you're traveling all around the world and you're just you're
taking videos, you could just you could booze, yeah, booze.
Actually when you're traveling with the A team. Yeah, so
it's it's not it's you know, business flights unlimited behind Yeah,
all these parties that she doesn't want to go to
(09:10):
an open bar, all the shows, I'm at the bar,
and but you're kind of shaken and bacon. So when
everything stopped, I still had the same habits, but it's
it's it's tough to watch because we're not going anywhere,
and it's you know, I would get to the gym
and sweat it out, but yeah, I'm just drinking all day.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
Getting into that for a second, like when did you
realize you actually had a problem and how bad was it,
you know, or it was this something that was really
affecting your life, you know in a really negative way,
or is it more like, dude, this is it's just
not good for me. I can function, but this is
(09:52):
not right.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Yeah, I mean I knew I had a problem being
an addict at a pretty young age with with just
weed in the beginning there. And my dad noticed it
and he started drug testing me.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Because you were just you were just getting blazed like
all day, you mean, like wake up and smoke and yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
You know, winter's in the cape, it's pretty slow, man,
and the kids just get bored and get dumb.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Ship bro, where where are you? Where were you in
the cave?
Speaker 3 (10:21):
East Ham. I went to nassa regional grade school school
when I grew up in Anatucky and then once I
school in the Cape.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
I just got back from the Cape because I do
like an intro, you know, And I was literally talking
about the Cape because I my my wife, my wife's
families you know, all from Boston. Yeah, and they live
in Falmouth. So we're we go to filmath every every year.
We rent the house in Falmouth.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
That's that's one of my dreams for sure. I want
to be able to go back there at least once
a year. I miss it very Yeah, it's awesome. I mean,
it is awesome place.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
But I but I will say though, when in the winter,
when everything shuts down and it gets you know.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it gets, it gets a little. It's
it's tough, man, It's a tough it's long winters, it's
winking cold, you know. But yeah, that that was probably
and then and then in college, you know, I picked
up that little thing called Xanax. And when I moved
to l A, I decided no more of that. And
(11:22):
withdrawing from that was a disaster. That is the Yeah,
that's the one. That's just that's a spooky one.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
Dude.
Speaker 3 (11:31):
You can't sleep, your brain is just on fire anxieties
through the roof because you don't have you know, mm hmm,
and uh so I just kept I just drank away
the withdrawals. I doubled down on the.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Boat and did it. I mean, this sounds crazy, but
did that hell you get through the withdrawals of the
xanax the booze?
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Yeah, yeah, not the proper I should have went to
a doctor.
Speaker 2 (12:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
The moral of all these stories is talk to your parents.
Talk people love you in your life. You just have
to tell them, hey, I'm not okay. That's all I
have to do from the very beginning. But I kind
of dragged this out until I was twenty eight. It
just gets to a point where you're you're in your
you know, you're getting close to thirty, and it's just
it's the party boy lifestyle is a tough look. It's like,
(12:31):
you got to get your shit together. Yeah, yeah, you know,
I had. I had a moment in college my freshman year.
I I it's Gasparille and Tampa, Florida. I don't know
if you're familiar with it, but you start drinking at
seven in the morning and then we were done around
like three in the morning. But I I had fallen
on my face and I ripped. I still have scar
I still have scars on my face from when I fell.
(12:53):
And I'll never forget showing back like home after I
think it was uh after spring break or something, I
don't know. There was some brand. The look of my
dad's face was like, what the fuck. Yeah, And so
when I was twenty eight, I went on a bender
by myself, woke up on my bathroom floor in a
(13:14):
puddle of blood. I'm like, oh shit, and I look
in the mirror and I see that same kid, you know,
And I'm like, holy shit, it's been It's been ten
years and I haven't grown up. I'm still that boy
running around lost in college, not knowing what to do,
drinking like a maniac for no reason. And it kind
(13:36):
of clicked, and it was and shortly after Megan and
Darryl had Riley. You know, when you hold a baby
a family member, his eyes looking up at me like,
I'm looking at you, man, like you what are you doing?
I'm gonna be watching you and learning from you. So
I was like, this is a bad example for this kid,
(13:58):
And yeah, I'm just surrounded by a lot of love
and I kind of was. I got lost in my
own shit and forgot about that. And you went, did
you you went to treatment? You put yourself in treatment. No, dude,
I'm a psychopath. I just ran every day, just ran.
And then my friend called me up. She said, hey,
(14:18):
I know you're sober. Now let's do the New York
City Marathon. And then at first I was like, no,
absolutely not. And then I thought about it. I was like, well,
that'll keep me running. And then on the weekends I'm
gonna have to do like ten mile fifteen mile runs. Yeah,
I won't want to do anything but on the couch. Yeah.
So I said, all right, fuck it, I have four
(14:39):
months to train, let's just do it. I partnered up
with Boston Children's Hospital. This girl Hans, she's amazing. She
was rooting for me, and yeah, dude, I just I
just ran ran from my demons.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
You're like Forrest Gump.
Speaker 3 (14:53):
Yeah, I was running.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Yeah, dude, that's so interesting, because someone who wakes up
in a pool their own blood, you know, it's like, oh,
check me into facility. But yeah, you were able to
handle that on your own. You know, everyone has their
own ways of dealing with their destruction and their demons.
You know, it doesn't have to be the you know
that one way, you know, but what happens when you
(15:20):
stopped running, you know what I mean? Were you able
to sort of get it out of your system? And
then even going back, you know, from a psychological aspect,
were you able to sort of understand why you were
doing the things that you were doing, you know, like
that self loathing or lack of self love or all
(15:40):
that stuff.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
You know, Yeah, lack of self love was pretty much
my main thing. I was just like a self destroyer.
You know, everyone we're all partying, and then I'd go
home and just continue the party alone with whatever what
was in front of me. Because yeah, a lot of
my friends were like, oh, Trainer, you you don't have
a problem. I was like, you don't know me at all,
Like we're party buddies. You don't have a fucking clue
(16:02):
who I am. Yeah, it all stems from this this
thing that happened to me when I was twelve. You know,
I got betrayed by my friends. And when you get
that betrayal, I mean I talked about it. We had
doctor Drew in our podcast and explained to him the
story pretty much you know, it was one of my
(16:23):
first time drinking. I sat down to pee because I
didn't want to. I didn't want to stand and piss everywhere.
I made a joke. I was like, ah, dude, I
just peed over my balls. And they were like, how
did you do that? Do you have a little dick?
Do you have a little dick? And they were trying
to pull my pants off and I'm fighting them off
and then finally that ended, and then I pass out
(16:45):
and I wake up the next morning. I get in
the shower. I was like, all that was kind of weird.
And I get the shower. I looked down. They had
drawn all over my genitals, you know, measurements.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (16:57):
And then I guess there are pictures taken or something
that I've found out later on. So and I remember
I just looking down in the shower, bawling my eyes out,
and I looked in the mirror. I looked in the
mirror and I was I and I like it was
like a spooky, like spiritual fucking mask. Just I put
on and I'm okay, no one's gonna fucking get through me,
(17:20):
no one will know me. I'm good. I walk out
of there, all right, guys. Great sleepover, that was mad fun.
I'll see at school Mom picks me up. Oh, I
had a blast, super We played video games great times
and just held onto that secret till I was.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Like eighteen years old.
Speaker 3 (17:36):
Dude.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
Wow, I don't know what it is as just so
much shame. Dude. Yeah, yeah, crazy shame, you know.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
Yeah, And you know I heard something recently because at
the end of the day, it's just like a bad
sleepover and some shit happened. Like no one survives childhood, right,
you just grow up? Yeah, you know. And I put
in a lot of work. So the running helps drying out,
but sobriety, you do have to do a lot of
(18:06):
work on yourself. And that's why I did really enjoy
the AA program and doing the twelve steps because that's
where I was able to dig deep and be like, Okay,
this is this is who I am, this is why
I did these things.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
So you did you did do it? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (18:20):
It took me a year and a half because I'm
I'm yeah, I'm just like a no fuck, everybody, I
got this little guy right, look off, I don't need
your help. Yeah, and that's gotten me nowhere. So but
it took me a year and a half and finally
Bobby Lee saw me at a Christmas party and he knew.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
Bobby, Dude, that's my guy that you know. I worked
with him for two years on the show Amazing he was,
you know we did, and he's my I fucking love
Bobby Lee.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
He's my little angel. Dude. He saved my life.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Did he really?
Speaker 1 (18:52):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (18:53):
He because he has ah. He runs a meeting and
he's like, listen, dude, I know you're you don't do
the just just show up to one meeting. It's my meeting.
It's a great group of people. I would love for
you to come. I said, I find fuck it, I'll
go and I went. Hated the first meeting. I go,
(19:13):
that's all right, I gotta go back, go back, all right.
That was a little better. Still hate this drive. It's
a forty five minute drive. I'm fucking upset. And I
keep going and going and going. And the more you
go to these things, you hear people talk and you
realize you're like, oh, I'm exactly like these motherfuckers. I'm Ryan,
I'm an alcoholic, and this is just how our brains work,
(19:36):
and we're in there being vulnerable. I've never seen people
be so vulnerable and honest in front of strangers. That
was different for me, and it was it's yeah. And
then I got a sponsor, started working the steps and
a couple of those dude I dragged out. You know,
there's some heavy shit in there and you sit down
to do it and you're like, I don't want to
(19:56):
fucking do this. That a lot of it is I
don't want to do it, and then when you do it,
you feel much better. It's like the main fucking thing.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. Yeah, So how did you meet Bobby?
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (20:09):
You know through Megan with the pop star sister or
anything is possible? So did Tiger Belly podcast?
Speaker 2 (20:14):
You did?
Speaker 3 (20:15):
Yeah, and I and I explained that I was sober
and then he saw me. It was just months later
at a Christmas party and he was just like, dude,
I know you're you're not doing the best you can,
like I because he understands there's there's a.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Lot to but you were sober still, but we were
just but it was still like this isn't gonna last.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
I was a shell of a human, like still living
in fear. Yeah, a lot of fear based lifestyle choices mentality,
you know, for people that are wondering about getting sober,
and you like, yeah, it sucked, like I lost my mojo,
I lost this lifestyle. But I realize now three years in,
(20:58):
I have all that ship. That guy that I thought
I was getting to with tequila and blow is just there.
I just I can tap into it whenever. I don't
have to destroy myself where the fucking people around me.
I can just I can be me and I'm finally
I can walk into anywhere and be like I belong here.
(21:18):
That was my biggest thing, Like, oh, I don't fucking
belong anywhere. You know, my sister's famous. I don't belong
at this party. I don't belong. You know. It's did that.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Suck you up? At all your sister's fame? I know that,
you know she brought you along, yeah, and brought you
to La and all that, and it's probably incredibly inclusive
and but but at the same time, we have a
ton of siblings on here who have a famous sibling.
There's a famous sibling, and then there's one who's doing
their own thing, you know, or one who is in
(21:49):
their same business and you know, not as big or
as a celebrity as the other. And I always ask
the question, Kate, you don't hate it, but she's just
like a whull. I say, are you envious? You know?
Is there a part of you that's like jealous? You know,
like fuck man? And and nine times out of ten
(22:09):
everyone's saying no, I'm supportive, and I think it's all bullshit.
The only person who said Chad Low because we had
Robin Chad on and Chad's like, of course, dude, He's like,
I'm doing my little thing over here, and he's a
great director and he's a great actor and all that.
But he's like, I'm looking at my brother like fucking what,
you know. And I'm the same way. I'm like, I'm
it doesn't mean I don't root for my sister, but
(22:30):
of course I'm like it's bullshit, man, Like I'm I'm
just as talented, Like give me an opportunity to work
with Cameron Crow, you know, like fuck this, I you
have that.
Speaker 3 (22:43):
Yeah, there's always a little bit envy. Now. The thing
is is I can't sing, and I see to do
these a lot of these shows that I'm like, that
is too fucking hard. But like the bullshit part of
it like, you know, go do a fun TV show interview. Uh,
you know, all the fun stuff that she actually struggles doing.
(23:04):
That's like not your thing. Her thing is getting a
studio right, a hit song? Yeah, that all that other stuff.
I'm like, oh that's a blast, dude, what I want
to do some of that ship?
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Yeah, Like, well the other thing too, is forget about talent.
Forget about the fact that you sing or you don't sing,
or that I'm an actor and Kate's an actor, or
that even she's a woman and I'm a man. I mean,
those things are completely different. You know. Her trajectory is
different than mine. It's it's almost like sometimes you go
to this place of it's just not fair, you know
what I mean, Like it's touched, it's total bullshit stuff.
(23:37):
But it's like, well, how come, say, how come they
got lucky? You know? What about what about me? Like
in whatever it is that I'm doing, Like Anna, Yeah,
those things creep and you know, they've been a they've
been a cause of my anxiety because I well documented
on the show, I've been through crazy anxiety throughout my
life and likes the pro and all that, you know,
(23:59):
but a lot of it was stemmed from initially when
I first went down to a knee, thinking I was
dying at the age of twenty three years old, not
understanding what was going on or what anxiety even was,
and trying to unpack it. And you know, there was
a heavy route of just I was trying to be
(24:19):
an actor and I wasn't taking it seriously and it
wasn't working out, and everyone else is succeeding in front
of me, and you know, peers and siblings and everything else,
and it was just this thing of I'm not good enough,
and it developed into that sort of lack of self
love and self loathing and I'll never be what I
am and then bang, it all hit me. At one
(24:40):
time went down to the fucking Neil's actually going into
a strip club with my friend, you know, in Hollywood,
and I was like, and I go into the strip
club and John's like, where were you. I'm like, dude,
I don't know. I think I might've had a heart attack,
but I didn't because I'm here. Something fucking happened to me, dude.
(25:01):
And He's like, well, we didn't get it. You didn't
get what anxiety a panic attack was. I remember I
had like a vodkatonic to try to like all.
Speaker 3 (25:10):
Myself and I was like, shake it off.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Oh but I just had to get out of there.
I'm like, dude, something's up, you know. And of course
ran all the tests, went to the doctor, did hearts everything,
like you're fine. So I was like, oh shit, this
sin is the beginning of the end or the beginning
of the beginning, you know, because you learned so much.
I've learned so much about who I am through this
sort of process of dealing with anxiety. You know, character
(25:35):
gets built. My son had it for a little bit
going into eighth grade. I was able to sort of
understand him and deal with him on a different level
than most parents would who haven't experienced it themselves. I've
through talking on my podcasts and you know, I went
to this place called the Hoffmann Institute, and you know,
you realize, just even what you do with your show,
(25:58):
I'm sure as long as you're authentic and honest, there's
so many people you can actually help in touch without
realizing it. You know. So that's a that's a blessing,
and her curse was blessing a curse.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
Yeah, I forget constantly we have people call in that
I listen to the show and they'll be like, I'm
sober because of Ryan and that that shit trips me crazy.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Yeah, that I don't understand.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
Yeah, to go back to the jealousy, I think I'm
more jealous that she she like knows her thing. She's
always known her things. She was like thirteen, Like everything
around me makes sense because I've watched I watched her
when she was since she was thirteen, disregard friends, disregard
to anybody, and just was in her studio making songs
(26:45):
and they were shit at first, but she kept making
them every day like she did not stop. So I
saw her put in her like twenty thousand hours, and
I've just been jealous of, like, why can't I figure
out what the fuck I'm good at and what I
can do? You know?
Speaker 2 (27:02):
That's that's where or very it's totally in the same way.
I look at Kate and I'm like, I just envy
her work ethic, I envy her confidence, you know, her
sort of just bullish attitude in the best way, meaning
like no, I'm gonna get this shit done. You know,
I deserve to be here, and I deserve to be
(27:22):
on top, and I am the fucking queen because she is,
and and that confidence. I'm more like, oh my god,
like do they like me? I mean I just did
that take. Like, God, I hope I don't fuck up
my lines because then everyone's gonna think that I'm I'm
terrible person. I mean, this is a bullshit that goes
on in my my infantile head where she's just like, boom,
(27:45):
I am great, and I'm gonna show everyone why I am.
I'm like, God, damn it. If I had her work ethic,
i'd be George Clooney.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
Yeah. I think after doing the twelve Steps and I
started going to a men's meeting more often. It's sick, dude.
It's like in the back of a more than waffles
and it's just a you know, alcoholic men just talking
(28:15):
some real shit. And that's been very beneficial because growing
up I didn't I never trusted men, specifically after what
had happened to me. So it's been nice to, like,
I don't know, have bond with other dudes.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
It's amazing how impactful that situation was for you specifically. Yeah,
and you sort of didn't amend it, but then you said,
at the end of the day, it's a sleepover with
idiot kids. And yeah, I have two boys and they're
all fucking idiots. We were all idiots, you know. Yeah,
And if that had happened with someone else, maybe it
wouldn't have impacted them the way it did you. We're
all different humans, we have different sort of ideas, you know.
(28:53):
But that moment, I mean, it was just humiliating. There's
some shame around it that it's just fucking set you off.
It's crazy. I mean it is pretty gnarly though, to
wake up and to have that happen, you know, yeah,
to you, I mean that's pretty gnarly. At twelve twelve Jesus,
(29:14):
maybe I think five it was fine, right, totally.
Speaker 3 (29:20):
Like all right, guys whatever, cool. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah,
I just you gotta just like speak up. I guess, like,
don't hold lot of ship. But maybe it was different times.
I feel like now it's a little better.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
It's easier to say things. I don't know. So then
you started this podcast, So tell me about this, tell
me about the show.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Yeah, I've been wanting to do it for a while,
and then finally we had their opportunity and Meghan's team
was behind it. They were like, yeah, this is actually
gonna be a great idea because I just wanted people
to see Meghan's personality. I've always like, you know, she
grew up with me and my younger bron.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
We just.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
We like to smoke weed and watch South Park like
we just had. We just like she has a great
sense of humor that I don't think anyone really realizes.
They're like, oh, she's the base girl even ten years later,
which I feel like now she's finally getting out of
that with TikTok and and the podcast, but she just uh,
and she's she's really smart. I just wanted people to
see her, and I just wanted to be there to
(30:26):
help guide her as a co host and you know,
help her when we have people on to ask some
questions and kind of keep things wrong because also she's
got a bit of I don't know if it's ADHD
or something, but she's bouncing all over the place and
then they get stuff talking about like the dumbest shit.
I'm like, okay, hey, hey, let's move on to something here.
She yeah, she's okay with that.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
She she agrees, no, no, no, no, I mean it's
it's funny because we both have podcasts with their sisters,
which is fucking rad. But it's so funny because I
if the train is going down a track, right, I
am going hard lefts and hard rights, and Kate is
the one who's like steering it back on into the track.
You know, She's like, okay, Like, because I am about
(31:10):
my inutia, Like I like to get into the details
because that's where the that's where the juice is, you
know what I mean. So true. Someone will say something
on one of our shows and I'll be like, okay,
well hold on, go back a second when you said this,
and then all of a sudden, you go down this
rabbit hole that one little moment, and Kate's just like, okay,
like back to the notes. Yeah, I mean, has it
(31:36):
been fun though? I mean just rapping with your sister. Like,
the greatest thing about our podcast is I get to
you know, obviously I'm doing solos right now because she's busy,
But to sit down with your sibling and just riff
and talk and be a part of a conversation for
an hour, you know.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Yeah, it's the best. It's been like family therapy for us. Yeah,
especially since when we first made the deal. To do
the podcast. I was to drinking at the time, and
so to my surprise when it really started, I was like, oh,
we're on Sobriety. Here we go. I've decided to sow.
And I was just it was a nightmare. In the beginning.
(32:13):
I hated every second of it because I was just
really I was riddled with anxiety. I hated myself, dude
so much shame and like it was the worst, dude,
And I have to watch all of these episodes back
and pick the tiktoks, make sure you know, get the
right edits. And I hated watching myself. It was it was,
it was a it was an experience in the beginning.
Speaker 2 (32:34):
Were you able to talk about it on the show
about how yeah yeah yeah, how anxiety and how yeah
all oh yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (32:41):
Yeah, oh yeah yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
It's great, so great though it's horrible but amazing, Like
that's what people want to hear, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
No, if you go from like the first few episodes
to now, I feel like I've turned into a completely
different human. It's it's bizarre. Yeah, sobriety is a magical thing.
I highly recommend it, highly recommend it.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Yeah, well, it's it's funny. I mean, I've talked about
this on another podcast. It's you know, when do you
know that you're an alcoholic? I talked to Charles Kelly,
you know, you know Charles Kelly from Lady Lady A
Lady Antebellum. I'm like, he you know, he started that group, Okay,
he he He got sober, but his drinking was really interesting.
(33:24):
It wasn't like waking up in a pool of blood
or anything crazy. It was just sort of becoming such
a crutch that he couldn't really do much without it,
as far as writing music or playing golf or anything
like that. And it wouldn't be like two drinks, it
would turn into like eighty drinks, you know. And then
I got scared because I'm like, that sounds like me
kind of, you know. I was like, I've never thought
(33:47):
myself an alcoholic at all, But I'm like, am I
drinking too mildly? You know? So what point? At what
point do you say that you're an alcoholic?
Speaker 3 (33:58):
I mean it would be like if you were like
I had to crack open a couple cold ones before
this or something. Maybe maybe, but you know, like it's
it's stuff where like you shouldn't need a drink to do,
but that's not really what it is. You find out
on your own. But I'm just thinking of like, if
you want some like specifics.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
You've seen it. You've been to all these meetings and
you've met a bunch of alcoholics, right, And I'm sure
there's different ones. There's ones who are like, way off
the chart. Have you met somewhere Their stories are kind
of like, uh, yeah, I guess you're an aclopolic.
Speaker 3 (34:32):
Every time they go out there, they're blacking out, but
they're but they're pushing that you know, thirty to thirty
five range, and they're just like, I don't want to
be this person anymore. I can't afford to not remember
what I did every single weekend. Like it could be
something like like that. You know, it doesn't have to
be like you got booze stashed everywhere and yeah, and
(34:53):
it just comes down to, like, I don't know if
you're hiding a lot of shit with booze, if you're
if you're stuff in some stuff down, yeah, you know,
instead of doing that, you just dig deep into it
and and and you're just like clear about it. You're
not You're not substituting feelings. That was the other thing,
Like I sold that. I just I go, what the
(35:15):
fuck are these? And they were my feelings, like I
don't like any of these?
Speaker 1 (35:20):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (35:21):
Yeah, a lot of crying alone, just like really going
through it.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
Bro, How much better do you feel now? Though?
Speaker 3 (35:29):
I mean, like how I I just went to Italy
on a solo trip, trip of a fucking lifetime. Okay,
oh you did?
Speaker 2 (35:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (35:35):
I solo solo two weeks and it was a it
was an enlightening experience for me because I'm sitting there
and I'm learning how to say I'm an alcoholic and
Italian because the water is wine. Yeah, I go, yeah,
I'm an alcoholic. I'm having a blast, Like I'm sober
and I'm having the most fun I could ever possibly have.
(35:57):
And when I first sobered up and I was going
on dates, you know, girls to be like, well you
don't drink it forever, I was like, well, if I
go to Italy, I'm gonna have wine.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
Yeah, you know.
Speaker 3 (36:06):
Fast forward to three years and it just wasn't of
any interest and I'm I'm I'm schlepping all my stuff,
feeling great. I'm looking around people are hungover it's hot
as fuck, and I'm just like, what a great day,
just conquering every day, eating as much as I wanted.
You know, there's no empty calories. I'm just pasta gelato croissants,
like going nuts. Lost weight by the end of the trip,
(36:29):
a little spooky, to be honest. The food's real, so okay,
little size track. And I got back from Europe, you know,
a little while ago. We went to Greece and France
and we ate and we ate, we ate, and Greece.
Speaker 2 (36:42):
I'm a huge grease fan and I love Greek food
and blah blah, but we ate our fucking faces off.
I lost weight, same thing. Their food is so clean, yeah,
so delicious, and you can taste how clean it is,
like it's a different taste.
Speaker 3 (36:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:57):
I get back home and within a week I'm not
even eating bad. I'm not like eating like burgers, and
I did have in and out when I first got home,
but other than that, you know, other than I'm just
eating normally.
Speaker 3 (37:10):
And I was like, yeah, like bulk, I'm like, holy shit, dude,
yeah no, it's ry. Yeah. My first meal back was
fat salas. Dude, fat texas.
Speaker 2 (37:18):
Yea, fat soles. That's for me, do you do that?
Speaker 3 (37:21):
And next I was just like, I'm getting ripped to
stress you. That sound was good though, but in general, dude,
it's it's it's very weird.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
Man.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
I don't know because people would say and I didn't
believe him, and then I got really tripped up. Yeah
it's just brad Pasta, like you're just eating and eating
and eating and yeah, so I don't know, man.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
And so that solo trip, I mean, there was never
any sort of temptation because that would seem very difficult.
Like you're in Italy. It's beautiful. It's like wine, cigarettes, like,
oh god, that's makes the trip for me. My problem
is I don't feel like I can enjoy a moment,
one of this beautiful moment, whether it's before family or
(38:00):
a sunset or anything without like like a cigarette. I
don't really spoke anymore, but like, you know, a cigarette
or like a drink or yeah, now we're here, you
know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (38:10):
Yeah, you want to be in the movies. I get that, bro. Yeah,
I watched when I watched Once upon a Time in Hollywood,
immediately bought a twelve pack of butt Heavies and I
bought a pack of mar Breads and I spoke that
hire fucking pack and drank every beer and I felt
like dog shit the next day. But yeah, you just
your brain romanticizes all these things so and you know,
(38:32):
you think that's what's happening, but in reality, it's just
you know, it's just boison.
Speaker 2 (38:35):
At the end of the day, where were you in Italy?
Speaker 3 (38:38):
I bounced around, what did I do? Sorrento, Rome, Florence,
Milan And then my buddy's wedding was in Lake Como.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
It was a dream amazing. Did you meet up with
people along the way who you didn't?
Speaker 3 (38:50):
You know?
Speaker 2 (38:50):
If you're solo? I mean, well, there are a lot
of women. I'm sure I made I made some friends.
Speaker 3 (38:55):
I made some friends.
Speaker 2 (38:56):
Now, when you're when you're when you're dating and right
and whatever you want to call that, when you're in
Italy and relating back to the alcohol is they're like,
let's go have a drink, let's go to a club,
let's do this. You're just like, I just I can't.
I don't And they're cool with it.
Speaker 3 (39:12):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, I'll be honest with you, Okay,
I just hinge right now, on a hinge, you could
you'd say what you do and don't do?
Speaker 2 (39:21):
God got it?
Speaker 3 (39:22):
No alcohol? So that you see it. They they doubled down.
They're like, so you don't drink, like no sober and
it's you know some would they feel bad, like can
I drink in front of you? Ago, it's not a
problem at all living up. You're on vacation. I'm on vacation.
You know we're good. I met this Italian girl and
she was funny. She was like, oh, you could never
(39:43):
tell my mom this. She would repet the shreds daily.
You can't handle your alcohol, you'd like some Chris Malta
Santi ship dude, like you can't drink.
Speaker 2 (39:54):
That's amazing, that dude, Oh my god, it was fucking great.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
Bro.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
I loved it so much.
Speaker 3 (40:02):
Or are you in la I'm in the valley.
Speaker 2 (40:05):
I'm in the valley.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
I'm gonna I'm gonna slowly make my way west side. Okay.
So I moved out of I moved out of Megan's
house right before she got into this new one. And
it was a big thing. Man. She bawled her eyes
out in that moment. She goes, all right, well, I'm
picking the apartment I got Okay, that's fine.
Speaker 2 (40:23):
You know.
Speaker 3 (40:24):
So I'm paying way too much for this apartment in
the valley, but it's fine. It's it's super close to
the house. Yeah, I will, I will eventually. It was
my first step out. She's just she loves the ship
out of me at the end of the day, dude,
That's that's what it comes down to, and it is
nice when you're someone in that spot in life you
want the people you love around you to experience anything
with you. Well, you don't do it alone.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
Yeah. My whole family lives ten minutes from my mom,
my dad, Kate Wyat, you know, Boston. We're all within
ten minutes from each other, you know, mister dream It
is it truly is.
Speaker 3 (40:57):
I just personally want to be closer to the ocean.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
Yeah. Well that's like I'm a big fisherman and I
own a boat. I fish like I Oh yeah, the
ocean is is a necessity for me.
Speaker 3 (41:09):
Saying you need it in my life.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
Well, dude, I'm back mid August. Let's let's hook up.
You should come come on the boat, dude, I'm so down.
We don't wave toward until the end of August. Sotember
first is when it starts okay, cool, So we have
a couple of weeks. How long are you gone for
September October? It's honestly not too long. Seven quick, okay.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
She's just trying to figure out if she likes to
do it with the kids, you know, or like if
she should not bring them everywhere. Yeah, it's yeah, you
guys have a fight. Yeah, I all to tell Yeah,
we bick her. All of you do way less now though,
now that I've sobered up, and like I used to,
she'll she'll say something right, She's she's not the best
with her words in some circumstances. Okay, and I used
(41:52):
to like bottle that ship. It would be something simple
and all she's doing is being nice and offering a
job or something. So here was an example. She's doing
rehearsals and we have friends over that they did the podcast.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
You know, I.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
I value their perception of me. And she's like, hey,
I need someone to film my rehearsals. Can you do
it like X amount of money a day? And I'm
like no, like I want to do my own show.
She's like, well, you got nothing going on and you
need that money. And I'm like wow. And before I
would just fucking burst like fuck you like shit, and
(42:28):
I just I nope, just don't want to do it.
Just don't just uh yep, don't want to do it.
And then I called her. I called her later. I go, hey,
you were one hundred percent correct. I need the money
and it's an easy job. I got nothing to it.
I'm not you know, Uh yes, I'd love to. I
just didn't like how you asked me in front of
(42:49):
our guests. And she goes, oh, whoa, okay, whoa, I
fucked up.
Speaker 2 (42:53):
My bad. I'm so sorry man.
Speaker 3 (42:55):
That that's the conversation now, exactly. Yeah, and just take
a beat instead of just snapping.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
That's what I before. So yeah, well, I mean tone
is everything, by the way, you know, because you could
say that. I don't know how she said it, but
it's belittling in a way. And I'm saying she was
trying to but there's a condescension, there's belittle mint. It's
sort of like you got nothing going on right now.
I was like, dude, what the fuck, Like, how do
(43:25):
you not know that that is would hurt not just
me but anybody, you know. I mean, I'm a fragile
man telling me by the way, I don't even care
if there's fucking people here, Like you don't have anything
going on anyway, Like what you don't you don't have
ship going on anywhere? Like oh god. I was like,
fuck you, let's start crying. I totally get that. I
(43:51):
totally working on my yeah, yeah, yeah, my sister. My
sister again not knowing it and only praising me. But
I remember she said something to me. She's like, she goes,
you know what you should You need to direct, you
need to direct, and you need to produce and this
is I don't know, you know, this is what you
need to do. And meanwhile, I mean, that's the love
(44:11):
of mine for sure. That honestly, that's probably where I'm
most talented. But I'm an actor and that's how I
make my money. But I'm not at her status or
my family status or anything like that. But I took
it as like, oh, you shouldn't be acting because you're
not good enough, and that's my own shit.
Speaker 3 (44:29):
Yep, it's your own ship.
Speaker 2 (44:31):
But I was like, oh, thanks, Kate, thanks, you know
what I mean, like you don't believe in me, when
really she's just telling me, no, I mean, you're great
at these things you should pursue them. And I take
it as oh, so you don't think I'm good enough.
Speaker 3 (44:44):
Yeah. Now, we all live in our own realities that
no one else sees. We're just making this up as
we go, like this is how this is how that was.
Speaker 2 (44:52):
But it is the beauty. It is the beauty of
the human condition. Like, yes, that's what's so dope about
just the individual jewel is We're all fucked up, you
know what I mean, We're we're we're all we all
have our ship. There's no doubt about it, you know.
And it's about the recognition of it, and you know,
the desire or not to change it. Some people are
(45:13):
happy being the way that they are. Some people are
way more comfortable in that space, in the chaos, in
the pain. They're more comfortable in the pain. Yeah, go
for it, living that fucking Yeah. Yeah, that's a beauty
your life. You do whatever the fuck you want. Yeah, exactly, dude,
This was really fun.
Speaker 3 (45:28):
This is awesome. Thank you again for having me.
Speaker 2 (45:30):
This was fun. Later bro, Later, Wow, the headline probably
is going to be Oliver Huntson thinks he's an alcoholic.
Ah gosh, Yeah, what a good dude. What a good dude.
You know, you got to admire those those people that
can that can pull themselves up out of the ship
(45:53):
and then run. Maybe I'll just start running. My whole
life will change.
Speaker 3 (45:59):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
Anyway, Thanks Ryan, I'll see on my boat piece