June 26, 2025 • 34 mins
Nude beaches can be places of relaxation, freedom, and, yes, hot sex on the beach. In this week’s episode, Gabe and Chris talk about their favorite nude beach cruising experiences with comedian Joseph Lymous, who grew up going to nude beaches as a kid and now seeks them out whenever he travels. Then, Joseph offers tips and tricks to overcome the challenges of nude beach cruising and helps us all embrace the transformative joy of being “nekkid” in the sun!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, viewers.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is an explicit podcast about queer sex.
Filter dirty words and unfiltered descriptions of sexual activities. If
hearing about orgies, anonymous sex, kink, fetish, and more offends
your sensibilities, you might want to skip this Viewer discretion
is advised. It's definitely not for kids.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Put Jo, pussy up, put your put Jr. Pussy up.
Put Jo pussy up, Put put Jo busy.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Welcome to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. I'm Gabeln Sadez and.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
I'm Christattison Rosso. Each week we explore the sublime world
of queer sex, cruising, and relationships.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
We talked to queer folks of all kinds. We'll ask
some questions, swap sex stories, share intimate revelations, and provide
practical advice that you can use at home.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Let Jo put Joe pussy job, put job.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
So Chris.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Today we're going to be talking about nude beaches, and
we'll get into that in a bit. But I figure
you must be an old pro. I mean, old is wild,
but you're a pro of a certain age O, a
pro with wisdom. Do you remember the first time.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
You went to a nude beach and what that was
like My first nude beach was actually growing up in Portland, Oregon,
whereas this very infamous.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
When is the weather appropriate to be naked on a beach?
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Important? Made of September? Okay? Sure? And there is a
lovely place called Rooster Rock.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
I hope I'm not like blowing up the spot, but
Rooster Rock in Portland, Oregon is very nude and very fun.
And then there's also Sovie's Island, which is an island
on a river that have a gay naked area.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Rooster's Rock is very gay sounding, like call it Mount Cock,
you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (01:41):
Like what Like I love sunshine, yes, and I love
sunshine on my skin and I don't like clothing, and
so it really was like pairing two of my favorite
things and putting them together, and so I yeah, I love.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
A nude beach. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Just you all know it is a battle to get
christ in a wardrobe every day. They'll just show up
in like a little like brief and be like, do
I have ch out? You do seem like the kind
of person that most people meet naked, and then when
they're dressed, they're like, oh.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Oh, that's who we are. That has happened.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Yeah, I feel like this is the most dressed I
have ever seen you on camera, and I'm grateful we
managed the feed. So tell me about your first time
in a new beach. I was raised by a bunch
of Catholics. Yeah, we did not We weren't even naked
in the home.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
I remember one time my dad's towel fell while he
was coming out of the shower going to the kitchen,
and I will never forget his towel dropped and the
way my entire family screamed, and then we were all
just silent, like we had run over someone in a car.
I mean, I grew up in Florida. There are a
lot of beaches. There are a lot of roller coasters,
there are a lot of theme parks, and none of
those things are my calling. I love sunshine, but I'm like,
(02:43):
take me to the park and put me in some
slutty shorts. I like getting undressed in the sun, but
nude beaches themselves are not in experience I've ever had. Okay,
So I'm looking forward to learning a lot this episode.
I'm looking forward to maybe expanding my horizons for.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Many of us the idea of stepping foot on a
new beach can be a really scary thing. After all,
are constantly dealing with the pressure to look good naked.
But if you can get past your own insecurities, new
beaches can be places of relaxation, freedom, community, and yes,
hot sex.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
In today's episode, we're going to teach you how to
have sex on the beach with the help of our
guest actor, comedian and nude beach officionado Joseph Limus. You
may have seen Joseph on The Other Two or Aquafinas
nor from Queen's and you can catch from next on
Tim Robinson's upcoming HBO series The Chair Company, which I'm
really excited about.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
He regularly performs with his sketch comedy group Uncle Function
at events like the twenty twenty four Netflix is a
drug festival. But as exciting as all this is, Joseph
mostly wants to be remembered by the fact that back
in twenty nineteen, Beyonce I shared a video of him
shaking his ass on her Instagram. Sorry all right, Joseph lymous,
Welcome to Snape's cruising Confession.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Thank you, thank you for having me. So glad you're here, well,
thank you for joining us today. There are so many
impressive things you've done that I would love to ask
you about. But today we're going to talk about getting
naked on a beach. And we were told that your
first time on a new beach was actually with your
family when you were pretty young.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
That's right, Okay, wow. So my dad moved us to
Germany when I was four years old because he was
in the military, and it is like, you know, Europeans
are already comfortable with nudity normally, like adult women in
Europe are gonna be topless on any kind of beach,
but it is customary for anyone from the ages of
four to eight, which is exactly when I lived in Germany,
(04:19):
to benked on the beach and I would entertain that.
But my mom was not really feeling that because she's
Southern Baptist. Ladies, absolutely not. But what we will do,
it's with you a little speed up. So I had
a little speed up, a little crab on it that
I would wear, but all of my peers were buttnaked,
and I thought it was the sweetest thing. Like coming
(04:39):
from New Orleans in an all black community to Germany
where the children looked like little cherup Christmas decorations was
just very intriguing to me. And so, yeah, that was
the beginning of my nude beach experience, my journey, if
you will.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Christ and I were talking earlier and Christ was like,
have you ever been to a new beach? And I
was like, I was raised Catholic by a bunch of
Puerto Ricans, Like.
Speaker 4 (04:58):
No, do that?
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Oh yeah, yeah, I mean that's how it happened for
me is that I was Southern Black Baptist and my
parents kind of put me through a little bit of
light conversion therapy. I say light in a way that
like we're all healed now and we've discussed it, and
I'm obviously very queer. I'm on the Snippy's podcast, But yeah,
that did inform the way in which I slung shot
(05:21):
out of that into I'm gonna be naked in the
sun with men me. So then, as an adult, I
moved to Portland, Oregon, where I had booked a job
with this theater company. I know you from Portland, you
know about them. I lived at the Jupiter Hotel and
so if you don't know, this is like a trendy
(05:41):
hotel that's connected to a very famous music venue in Portland.
And I was walking distance from several gay bars and
I met my partner at Silverado. It's a full frontal
male nuda d strip club. I was offered a drop
there when I was fifteen. Okay, word, I met my
ma in there and he introduced me to my adulthood
(06:02):
nude beach experiences at Sobey's Island.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
And yeah, earlier, okay, okay, I have renamed rooster Rock
cock Mountain.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
I think that's I mean, I think that they really
wanted to name it that, but then they were like,
this is a little too on the no. So I
categorized my nude beaches in four zones. What I've discovered
is that wherever you enter the clothing optional area, typically
Zone one is going to be like straight people and families.
(06:34):
Zone two that's given queer, gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans folks
are going to be there, pro tip, the music is
going to be very good there cut and then Zone
three that's gay men with boners, that's it. Zone four
gay men fucking and pissing on each other, and Rooster Rock.
Zone four is in the front. Right when you walk in,
(06:54):
you're in it, you are in it?
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yes, Wow, take me through this experience, because you've been
on nude beaches as a child, and you're like, all right,
we're going to cock Mountain knowing what you know?
Speaker 4 (07:04):
Now?
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Was that kind of like a mind fuck for you?
You walk straight into the fucking pisson?
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Was it a mind fuck?
Speaker 2 (07:08):
No?
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Because at that age, at that time, I was definitely
going looking for it.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
You want it on four front?
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Absolutely? And then we love Rooster Rock for that fact.
In fact, the first time I went by myself, I
got out of my car and there was a woman
talking to the police and she was like full of
this older white woman like crying, like and the men
there touching themselves. They're touching each other, and I was like, oh, no, officers,
where does she say they were leaning in? I don't
(07:38):
want to see it. I don't want to see it,
know Do I think you should?
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (07:46):
So what is it about being on a nude beach
that you enjoy? Well, first of all, the nakedness of
everyone is wonderful. I really do enjoy that. The bottom line,
like the bare minimum, You're gonna have a beautiful day,
you're gonna get relaxation, you're gonna get views of water,
it's gonna be a relaxing time, and then if you
desire anything more, you can get all the way up
(08:07):
to getting railed in the dunes. So like you have
like that juxtaposition of like all of the options are
available to you, but at least you will go home
having felt relaxed andnke it. There's nothing, there's physically nothing
between you and your joy. It's just you as you
are and your joy. And I do feel like there
is this thing where I think as humans, but definitely
(08:28):
in the queer community, we put ourselves into so many
different categories because we have to, especially with cruising apps
like being a thing like you want to cut to
like who I'm getting and who is who I'm bringing.
But with a new beach, it's like you are in
celebration of exactly what you are and nothing else and
anything else you choose is on you. And that's what
I love. Yeah, it's a celebration. It's a celebration of you.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
I think when you meet somebody who is closed, there's
so many signifiers that are like, oh, you're this guy,
You're wearing this type of clothes, this is from the store, Like,
you make a lot of assumptions when you meet someone,
stuff the way, how they're dressed. Do you feel like
there's sort of a freedom making new connections when you're
meeting another naked person.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Absolutely? Absolutely. In fact, it becomes weird when you put
the clothes on. When you go from the freedom to
the clothes, it's like, yeah, why are we doing this?
We were never designed to do this. I find that
I'm I'm unattracted to the person clothes. I'm like, oh,
this is an egg.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
This is what you're doing.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
This is the choice that you're making. That's wild. Yeah,
crazy when I come.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Inside someone and I see them dressed like an undercover cop.
Once we're done, oh no, not the khaki cargoes.
Speaker 4 (09:38):
So, how many new beaches will you say you visited?
I have been to a total of eight nude beaches
and how many continents? Two continents.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Okay, I've been naked on beaches that were not nude
beaches on other continents. I've been naked on a beach
in South Africa. It's kind of the farthest away from
home that I've been. Yeah, but yeah, because you can't
stop queers from doing what they do. It's just you,
just you be able to do that. The one, the
one beach that I've been to in Australia, it's no
(10:07):
longer a nude beach as of August of last year
because of indecent behavior. And I said, I dare you,
I dare you to try to keep it that way.
It's not gonna happen. First of all, they're just gonna
be pulling their little Aussie bumps to the side and
then do it. And then on top of that, on
top of that, you're just inviting more people to the beach,
one of those who know no, and then they're all
(10:30):
going to be joining in. You're not gonna stop us
because way yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Now, you mentioned that you have lived in a bunch
of places. Have you ever been to any nude beaches
in the South? Do you know what that was like
when you were growing up versus what it's like now.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
The only nude beach I have been to that's officially
nude in the Americans house is in Miami hall Over Beach. Yes,
have you been? Okay, Okay, so this is my first
time on Halover Beach and I'm in Zone three that's
gaming with boners. If you've kept notes just so you know,
just so every now and then you could double dutch
into four if you need to, if you need to.
(11:06):
What's going on? You know what I mean? And I
find myself flanked like kitty corner in front of me
on the right, behind me on the left. So like,
no matter which way I'm flipping, I'm seeing a straight couple. No, right,
this is horror, right, and it's crazy because the women
(11:26):
are wearing bottoms, which is like you didn't even understand
the assignment. But the men, both of them, both of
these like older white men, they have the biggest dicks
I've ever like, like, the dicks are bigger than God like.
And so for those of you who don't know, God
does have a dick, because he said Adam was made
in the image of God. So Adam had a dick
than God has a dick. See, we are going to church.
(11:48):
I'm sorry, Am, Now the Sunday turns out so anyway,
their dicks are bigger than that. And then I hear
the southern accent. One of them answers the phone and
he's like, I don't know how, I don't know which
house you're talking about. I own too, many properties to
narrow down which house you're talking about, And I said, oh, ship,
(12:10):
these men are the descendants of people who enslaved people.
I said, wait a minute, these are my dicks. That's
somewhere along the way. My family's blood got mixed up
in your family's blood. And now you got some of
my family's dick, and I want it back. I want
(12:32):
it back. So what do we do? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (12:34):
What are in this case?
Speaker 1 (12:36):
And that's what it's not giving rations? And so I
didn't fuck with them because they're straight and they were
doing their little thing or whatever. But it is a
campaign of mind that if you are a white man
and from the South and you have a dick that
is bigger than mine, I want that dick. I'm going
to join you in that. I'm going to join We
(13:01):
are gonna need that deck. Sorry, you better know how
to use it, oh man.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Okay, So, Joseph, we've got a lot of stories from you,
but this is cruising confessions from wondering. Do you have
any hot cruising confessions from your many trips to nude
beaches that you would like to share with us right now?
Speaker 3 (13:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:15):
So one of my favorites is one of my earliest,
and that was with that partner who I met at Silverado.
We became what I like to call the main events,
do you know, like sex parties or a new beaches
or any spaces where like people are hooking up around
other people. There's like little pockets of people hooking up around,
but then there's one pocket that happens to be like
(13:36):
the biggest pocket. That pocket is creating residual hookups around it.
And we were that and zero, We really were. And
so we have different bodies. He's like a six to
two white dude who's like a linebacker in high school
and I'm five seven and a half in this little
bitty body. So we were giving what everybody needed, whatever
(13:59):
you were. Yeah, yeah, we had it. And we were
also flipping. It was like that kind of and do
you know this moment and in the Lion King one
Rafiki parts that little blade of grass and he says,
look down there. It was giving very much like look
down there from everybody around until they all were around us.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Yeah, it was a lovely, lovely event. And that was
on cock Mountain. I have a.
Speaker 4 (14:23):
Similar story about when I was in z Believe. They
recently were like my boyfriend and I were fucking and like,
we just draw a crowd. It's just a thing that happens.
And like, whenever we were separated, my boyfriend be like, well,
whenever I couldn't find you, I just looked for the
crowd exactly. So earlier I was talking a little bit
about body positivity and sort of like the effects of
(14:45):
that and the queer community, and I'm wondering if your
time at the Nude Beach has sort of helped you
come into that.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
More or you know what I mean. Do you know
what I'm saying? I do?
Speaker 2 (14:53):
I do.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
I think it was a slow burn. So that partner
that I mentioned introduced me to the Nude Beach, and
he was somebody who like really helped me feel positive
about myself, like in a crazy way, like he would
say dumb shit, like you're the most beautiful person I've
ever seen, and I'm like, I can see myself and
I can see other people, So relax walking onto a
(15:16):
nude beach with someone on your side who feels that way.
That was my introduction. And so then walking onto it
by myself, I kind of went with that bit of confidence,
but then realize I really didn't need it because bodies
are not a monolith. It turns out every single one
of them is different. The nude beach offers the experience
in which you can go and see all kinds of
(15:37):
different bodies in a way that like, it really does
break down your barriers of feeling like shame. It really
really does, like, Oh, that person has this thing that
I actually don't like about myself, but there they go,
playing frisbee, running with it. Whatever it may be. I
do think that it has informed the ways in which
I look at myself and also the way I tend
(15:59):
to not judge others the way I think I did
before I was a nude beach goer.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
Okay, so when we come back, Joseph is going to
share some expert tips on how to make the most
of your trip to a new beach and want to
watch out for if you're a first timer.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Don't get dressed. We'll be right back. Now, we've heard
some nude beach cruising confessions and about how much Joseph
loves being neked. As you said, but in this segment neked.
But in this segment we are going to get practical
advice on how to have a successful experience cruising on
a nude beach.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
What would you say to a first timer who's like
nervous about going to a nude beach, but they really
want to do it. They're like excited, but they don't
know how to approach it.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
I would say, dive in. There are a lot of
people who are like, oh, it's weird because I'm afraid
that I'm going to get hard as soon as I
get out there, you get hard. Let that be a thing.
That's okay. My first few times, I'm like, I'm only
I'm just like all the blood there, so and I
just let that be a thing truly until I'm like leaking,
(16:58):
let that be the reality. Or if you're a little nervous,
do what you're comfortable with. One tip that I have
is like a way that in which you could feel
like you're not so surrounded is by being close to
the water. Now it does give that like a lot
of people can see you, but you're not seeing all
of them see you, so that you create this intimate
experience where like it's just you and the water and
the water and that's it. Or you find a little
(17:20):
nook and cranny or a little corner that you can
hide in. But just know that if you're in a knook,
somebody gonna find you in that crany at some point.
But yeah, go where you want to go and be
comfortable in your own body. I am not the person
who wants to be in the middle of it all.
I bring a tent. Somebody that can hide. Bringing a tent.
You have your shade, you have your privacy, you have
all of those things. But if you're going to a
(17:42):
beast and you do want to walk around, that's cumbersome.
So for those folks who want to move and meet
new people, I would say pack, like you don't want
to bring something that's more than a packpack. I usually
just like bring a sheet as the thing that I
lay on because it is extra light. Give me a
full sheet. It's your cuean sheet that I can just okay.
So yeah, yeah, if I'm going with people, yeah, if
(18:06):
you're going for a party, it's a very different thing.
But if you're going solo and you're just going out
to cruise by yourself, you want to be able to
I don't like it right here. Let me just.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
I that what general etiquette would you let people know
about if they are maybe curious about getting naked and
escalating into getting hard in leaking, where do you do that?
How do you go about it?
Speaker 1 (18:26):
And just other things folks should know. I just feel
like consent is king, just like in every space, at
all times, no matter what you're doing. I think that
some folks might get their wires crossed and believe that
you're into something because you are naked, even if you
are hard. But I think that consent is absolutely necessary
in all spaces. Queer's cruising, Like there's eye contact, there's
(18:48):
like body language. There's so many different things that like
you could read in a person that will tell you
what they do and do not want. But then if
you want to break the silence, just say absolutely not,
I'm so sorry, I'm good, my guy, Like keep it pushing,
like whatever you need to say. That is the golden
rule is consent. One thing and I'll say about Sniffies
(19:08):
is that when you're cruising, it takes a lot of time.
That's another thing. So like some block on the beach,
because you might have an idea of how long you're
gonna be on the beach, but then once you start
getting into it, it could be hours and hours. An
hour so you need that some block. And also like
sniffies will cut down the time, Yes, it will absolutely
cut down the time of you having to sit out
(19:28):
and wait because cruising is a long game time, not
just on the beach, just in general, like if you're
in a park or you some stall or whatever you're doing,
it's a long game. And Sniffies will absolutely cut down
on that.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
Fore you And to be honest, I feel like a
nude beach is the best place to identify the dick
on your math. Like usually one of my sniffies, I
can't look down the sidewalk and be like, oh that's
the right, that's the assets spread over at the beach,
I can like my phone up. Look we got it
so far in your like nude beach kit.
Speaker 4 (19:57):
You've got a sheet, yes, you've got sun block, yes,
and you've got snippies. What else is in your kit?
So I'm officially coming out. I'm a side in the
sand now, Like I have had a lot of sex
on the beach, but now the.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Sand, the sand, the sand, Like what are we doing
with the sand mixing with the moisturizing, Like what type
of pearl is gonna come out of this? Booty's hole.
You know what I'm saying, Like the grains of sand,
what is it giving when it comes out like it's yeah,
it's a little messy. And my so my pro tip
is having a squirt bottle, like one of those sports
(20:35):
water bottles, so like if you're not gonna you're not
gonna go like wash off everything in the water before
you get to the water. First of all, like little towels.
People think beats, I think big towel. Get you a
little medium sized hand towel and also a little sports
squirt bottle. You don't want to use the saltwater that's
in the ocean or the brown water.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
Mountain.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
That water now, that's a soup. That water that's an
ou grandmother. Yeah, if you.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Aren't familiar, okay, so we've gone through your kit of essentials.
Now I'm hoping you can maybe give us a few tips,
especially when it comes to the cruising areas of the beach.
And you talked about some of these places, the dunes,
the little nooks and the crannies. How do you access
some how do you work your way in?
Speaker 1 (21:24):
It's a natural thing normally, the dooms, the forest, whatever
is around the beach, the Oju, I would say, just
like treat it like a hike, Like, just treat it
like you're about to just go on a lovely walk
through the forest, through the trees, through the sand, whatever
it is, and go to a place that feels comfortable.
You go to an airsight like this looks nice, and
that could just be like what's naturally there, or if
(21:46):
there is a person there who you're interested in, that
looks nice, and there's certain elements of that in these spaces.
It's like it's immediately gorgeous. It's immediately romantic, like you
met somebody going to be somebody swam over to you,
you saw somebody leaning on a tree in the Caribbean,
like this is automatically going to be a gorgeous thing.
And then you get that consent, you get that little
eye contact, you get that like those little inches, the inches,
(22:09):
the inches of silence. Yeah, the inches of silence. That's
a book title. Underrated, absolutely underrated.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Series that I am absolutely gonna watch.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Yeah, of course, yes, you find what feels comfortable and
then hold out for those inches of silence.
Speaker 4 (22:24):
Following the crowd has always been a thing, right, like
if you're unsure where the spaces are because like zep
LEI there right, we weren't really sure We're all the
things were happening, and we're like, this don't look like
the pictures that we were seeing. And then we saw
these people sort of like traversing kind of through the
woods and then up these like stairs, and I was like, oh,
let's just follow the people. Yeah, and it was like
this whole other section of beach, yes, that was like
(22:47):
populated with people, and it was like, oh, we made it.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (22:50):
So just like following all the people as ask questions. Well,
sometimes I'm a little nervous to ask questions because I
want to look like I know what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
You know, they know you're one of those you'll go
the wrong way and be like wait, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
I would end up on the straight part of Fire
Island to be like no, no, no, these are where
the gays, I say, like there.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
You could follow the locals on every new beat that
I've been to, roughly fifteen to twenty dudes who are
like our elders. You can tell they've been there every day,
maybe last red Yewn like, yeah, you are rid rid.
These folks know where to be and where not to be,
and you can kind of tell, like from the way
(23:30):
they move, like where you could and should not be.
And yeah, you could always ask them, like you can
always just ask a local, like what what's what in
the environment?
Speaker 2 (23:41):
So great like low pressure way to strike up a
conversation with someone you might be interested in the beach.
You havesk somewhere to go. If they're not giving it back,
then you go to where you're going. If they're kind
of flirting with you, maybe you can invite them there.
Now you come back and revisit, like it's a nice
way to break the ice too. Yeah, it's giving. I'm
lost and you me sorry, sir, I'm looking for a
cock mountain? Has anyone seen it? I do you want
(24:03):
to talk about queer spaces on nude beaches in particular,
because we talked a little bit about some of the
queer beaches here that have been targeted by law enforcement,
and we all know that in today's political climate, law
enforcement is being emboldened to go after queer people more
than ever. So I'm wondering what are some tips for
staying safe from arrest while cruising the beach? How can
you navigate that without getting targeted unfairly.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
I want to go on record because I don't know
what the insurance situation is and say that, like, whatever
I'm about to say has nothing to do with whether
or not you will get arrested or not. I have
not been arrested, but like maybe you could be. And
I don't want to be the one that tells you
because you did what I said, don't be good, darling,
thank you.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
I was doing a picturesque corner.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
So if y'all really about that life, that cruise in life.
You know about those bathrooms at Pinnstation rip, I've witnessed
the rip.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Yeah, well they're just not popping the way they used to.
That perfect O in Unison the same.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
I haven't been in a while. I don't know what
the current state of things are there, but there are
certain spaces that I think that law enforcement have just accepted.
That is one of them. And I have witnessed someone
snitching two police officers, and I've heard NYPD straight up
told that person like, we go in there and they stop,
(25:25):
and then when we leave, they keep going. So we
don't know what to tell you. Don't be in there,
go pee and another at the end of the hall,
right because it won't be happening there, well it will be.
But also like on the beach, there is like a
culture of like watch people's back, like if you see something,
(25:47):
say something. We're looking out for each other, Like we said,
it's a queer community and we know each other's needs
more than anyone else does. And so like if you
see the Pope Poe called cod the black is hot,
like you know, we need to shift move whatever. There
they go, they come in.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Okay, if it's all right with you, Joseph, I know
you're a expert here, but I want to crowdsforcet from
both of you. Since you seem to know nude beaches
so so well, we've covered a lot of different places.
Can you give me between the two of you who
have visited so many nude beaches, can you kind of
give me a rundown of like your top five and
let me know, like just rapid fire, what that beach
(26:23):
is best.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
For the first one that comes to my like top
for me because of the beauty, because of like the
easy access. Two cruising is Polo Beach, north shore of
a Wahoo and everybody's a porn star. So like beautiful bodies,
beautiful people, beautiful beaches, beautiful views, beautiful beautiful gowns.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
Great gout For me, I will have to say at
Zepolita in Mexico, it is kind of must included beach.
You should sort of have to like hike to get
to it. But every night everyone watches the sunset and
it turns into an orgy. It was one of the
most magical experiences of it had.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
And then for me, like if you want to go
head first, it's cock Mountain akaa, rooster rock is what
the law will call it because that is again like
that's his own for first, that's a place you're gonna
see like, oh this is a new beach. But we
have on harnesses and we have on cages, so like
oh yeah, you're gonna see gear. It's definitely gear down.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Okay, So that just opened up so many dangerous sand potentials.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Yeah yeah, they really they really get down. Yeah right yeah.
And it also like is those different types of terrain,
so like it is like full on tree trees, then
also dunes, oju hills mountain so yeah, yeah, kind of
everything and it starts when you walk in.
Speaker 4 (27:45):
But like I also love keeping on Portland Sovie's Island.
There's just a nostalgia about it.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
For me.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
It's on a river, it's very quiet, the water's for
a chill. It's just a little bit more calm for me.
Tai gaya to guy. They don't they in Australia, They're
gonna be like this, boy, I don't know how to
say nothing, but it's like t A g A d
A y A eight something like that. It's like that
on the coast of Australia because of that cliff that
(28:12):
you have to climb up. This is a very beautiful thing.
This is like healing time for me up in this
beautiful area in Australia.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
Cherry Grove and Fire Island, Like, oh, I didn't think
that counted, but yes, you're gonna get naked and you're gonna.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Yeah, I've got naked and fucked on the beach many times.
I was like a Fire Island counts.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Yeah, the truth comes out.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
I just never think of it as a new beach.
I'm like, it's it's fuck Central, so yeah, of course
we're naked. And then Gunnison, Yeah, I mean I think
Gunnison was my first foray, I've only been once, but
I was like, oh fun. But for me it was
very like naked time with friends. I wasn't even thinking
about cruising. And you know, naturally all go out after that.
Everyone's horny because we've been naked on the beach and
(28:56):
things happened. But yeah, I've never I don't think anywhere
but sides Fire Island have I ever gone for being
naked to fucking in the same same beach. All right,
just if we haven't fortunately come to the end of
our time together, I've learned a lot as a as
a nude beach nebie. But I do want to ask
you before we let you go. Is there anything we
haven't covered today that you want to share with us,
or anything you want to mention?
Speaker 1 (29:15):
I don't think so. I think we covered a lot
of stuff. We went from me being a little boy
all the way to a grown man fucking on the
beach at the full story, that's that's an art we've covered.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
I've learned so much about you today too, because I
know you as a comic, I know you's a character actor,
I know you as a puppeteer, I know you as
a gay slut. Now I know you as a nude
beach Officio. There's so many layers. Every time I see you,
I discover something new.
Speaker 4 (29:40):
Okay, when we come back, we'll be listening to a
cruising confession from our special Snippies hotline.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Oh yeah, you'll definitely want to stick around to listen
to that. Thank you again, Joseph for being here, Thank
y'all for having me.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
Now, before we close today's episode, let's listen to some
listeners submitted cruising confessions from our Horny Collin hotline.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
I am terrified and excited place.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
You know, it's kind of like my favorite part of
the show, favorite show.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
I'm really glad we're doing that.
Speaker 5 (30:08):
Okay, So one time I was on Snippy's and I
wanted to make a friend, and I normally go on
there to hook up, but I decided that it would
be a good idea to find another bottom that we
could go to the club and they out. Well, I
ended up getting Pat Fish and he was not the
(30:30):
fem bottom that I thought he was. He actually ended
up being a cholo and I was like hanging out
with him and we were door dashing together in my
car and next thing you know, this motherfucker stole my
fucking car. As I was dropping off the door dash order,
(30:51):
I was like, I literally got off the car and
the next thing you know, I just hear the door
slam and he took off.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
In my car.
Speaker 5 (31:01):
And the reason why we were door dashing together yea,
because I was like, okay, let's go to the club,
but first let me make some point points. Yeah that
makes sense, but I guess you decided to steal my car.
So I had to call the police and they're like,
do you have any photos of him? And I just
(31:23):
showed them his whole picks.
Speaker 4 (31:27):
That being a police officer, right, And you're like answering
a call, right, and you're like, okay, grant upt auto.
Sure do you have any pictures of the purp And
they're like whole pick? Like I have to be getting
punks right now, Like what do you mean?
Speaker 2 (31:47):
The suspect has a lightly hairy skin tone anywhere from
white to caramel. If someone stow your car, do you
think you could pick out their hole from a lineup?
I know you could. I don't know why I asked, Okay,
whoa girl?
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Okay, I'm sorry, where do we begin?
Speaker 2 (32:04):
First of all, you don't see where you eat. And
I would also say you don't fuck where you work? Okay,
thing number one, you got catfished. You were looking for
friends on snippies, right, girl, which like work?
Speaker 1 (32:14):
You know what I mean? Place?
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Time and place maybe not the primary use, but sure
you know two fembottoms can forge a friendship the last
of lifetime. And I love that. But right, okay, So
he's a cholo, which to me would be a fun discovery. Yeah,
I'm like, oh, I love this is great. Right, Cholas
can be fem bottoms too, Let's get that clear.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Why is a chilo catfishing as a fem bottom Because
he was stealing a car? So sorry, I forgot.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
You were like, let's gather coin for me together before
we go to the club. I'm like, girl, meet him
at the club, Go gather your coin, do your douchary,
go home. I just I would not let a stranger
alone in my car, especially if I had been catfished
by them. But it does speak to your trusting and
noble spirit. And I want you call her to know
that you didn't do anything wrong.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
Didn't You made a.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Few wrong choices, but they need to learn, yeah, some lessons,
Because girl, what are you doing?
Speaker 1 (33:06):
All right?
Speaker 2 (33:06):
If you got your car stolen? Yes, Or if you
would like to hear your own cruising confessions on an
upcoming episode of this podcast, you can call our Cruising
Confessions hotline at three oh two two one nine three
eight nine eight. And I'm gonna repeat it because I'm
bad with numbers and I figure some of you are
as well. Three zero two two one nine three eight
nine to eight. Leave us a juicy story and you
(33:27):
might hear us gag listening to it. Yeah, that's all right, Chris.
This episode was so much fun. I love that we
had Joseph and I learned so much more about him
today than I ever thought possible.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Same.
Speaker 4 (33:40):
I was so grateful that he came in and shared
his wealth of knowledge with us, like and I love that,
Like there are now need'd be just that I have
to go visit?
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Sure, yeah, of course you know, Like now I have
a list of places that I need to go.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
You got vacation money?
Speaker 4 (33:56):
Well, I want to thank our guests Joseph Limister stopping
by today. You can check them out at Joe Murray
that's j O. M. I R A Y on all
social media and follow his sketch comedy group oncle Function
on all social media.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
Yes, they're fantastic, you won't regret it. Sniffy's Cruising Confessions
is directed by Adam Barron, produced by A. Menda Kuper
and Cameron Femino, and executive produced by Eli Martin.
Speaker 4 (34:19):
Cruising Confessions is presented by Sniffy's, the ultimate map based
cruising platform for kay by.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Incurious people ready to cruise.
Speaker 4 (34:25):
Check out the map at snippies dot com and fall
Sniche's at snippies app.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Cruisers are a community. Do your part in keeping us safe.
Learn more about protecting your sexual health at Healthy Sexuals
dot com.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
Put your put, put your put, put your plus to
Hey, viewers.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is an explicit podcast about queer sex.
Filter dirty words and unfiltered descriptions of sexual activities. If
hearing about orgies, anonymous sex, kink, fetish, and more offends
your sensibilities, you might want to skip this Viewer discretion
is advised. It's definitely not for kids.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
Put Jo, pussy up, put your put Jr. Pussy up.
Put Jo pussy up, Put put Jo busy.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Welcome to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. I'm Gabeln Sadez and.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
I'm Christattison Rosso. Each week we explore the sublime world
of queer sex, cruising, and relationships.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
We talked to queer folks of all kinds. We'll ask
some questions, swap sex stories, share intimate revelations, and provide
practical advice that you can use at home.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Let Jo put Joe pussy job, put job.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
So Chris.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Today we're going to be talking about nude beaches, and
we'll get into that in a bit. But I figure
you must be an old pro. I mean, old is wild,
but you're a pro of a certain age O, a
pro with wisdom. Do you remember the first time.
Speaker 4 (01:07):
You went to a nude beach and what that was
like My first nude beach was actually growing up in Portland, Oregon,
whereas this very infamous.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
When is the weather appropriate to be naked on a beach?
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Important? Made of September? Okay? Sure? And there is a
lovely place called Rooster Rock.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
I hope I'm not like blowing up the spot, but
Rooster Rock in Portland, Oregon is very nude and very fun.
And then there's also Sovie's Island, which is an island
on a river that have a gay naked area.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Rooster's Rock is very gay sounding, like call it Mount Cock,
you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (01:41):
Like what Like I love sunshine, yes, and I love
sunshine on my skin and I don't like clothing, and
so it really was like pairing two of my favorite
things and putting them together, and so I yeah, I love.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
A nude beach. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
Just you all know it is a battle to get
christ in a wardrobe every day. They'll just show up
in like a little like brief and be like, do
I have ch out? You do seem like the kind
of person that most people meet naked, and then when
they're dressed, they're like, oh.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Oh, that's who we are. That has happened.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Yeah, I feel like this is the most dressed I
have ever seen you on camera, and I'm grateful we
managed the feed. So tell me about your first time
in a new beach. I was raised by a bunch
of Catholics. Yeah, we did not We weren't even naked
in the home.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
I remember one time my dad's towel fell while he
was coming out of the shower going to the kitchen,
and I will never forget his towel dropped and the
way my entire family screamed, and then we were all
just silent, like we had run over someone in a car.
I mean, I grew up in Florida. There are a
lot of beaches. There are a lot of roller coasters,
there are a lot of theme parks, and none of
those things are my calling. I love sunshine, but I'm like,
(02:43):
take me to the park and put me in some
slutty shorts. I like getting undressed in the sun, but
nude beaches themselves are not in experience I've ever had. Okay,
So I'm looking forward to learning a lot this episode.
I'm looking forward to maybe expanding my horizons for.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Many of us the idea of stepping foot on a
new beach can be a really scary thing. After all,
are constantly dealing with the pressure to look good naked.
But if you can get past your own insecurities, new
beaches can be places of relaxation, freedom, community, and yes,
hot sex.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
In today's episode, we're going to teach you how to
have sex on the beach with the help of our
guest actor, comedian and nude beach officionado Joseph Limus. You
may have seen Joseph on The Other Two or Aquafinas
nor from Queen's and you can catch from next on
Tim Robinson's upcoming HBO series The Chair Company, which I'm
really excited about.
Speaker 4 (03:26):
He regularly performs with his sketch comedy group Uncle Function
at events like the twenty twenty four Netflix is a
drug festival. But as exciting as all this is, Joseph
mostly wants to be remembered by the fact that back
in twenty nineteen, Beyonce I shared a video of him
shaking his ass on her Instagram. Sorry all right, Joseph lymous,
Welcome to Snape's cruising Confession.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Thank you, thank you for having me. So glad you're here, well,
thank you for joining us today. There are so many
impressive things you've done that I would love to ask
you about. But today we're going to talk about getting
naked on a beach. And we were told that your
first time on a new beach was actually with your
family when you were pretty young.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
That's right, Okay, wow. So my dad moved us to
Germany when I was four years old because he was
in the military, and it is like, you know, Europeans
are already comfortable with nudity normally, like adult women in
Europe are gonna be topless on any kind of beach,
but it is customary for anyone from the ages of
four to eight, which is exactly when I lived in Germany,
(04:19):
to benked on the beach and I would entertain that.
But my mom was not really feeling that because she's
Southern Baptist. Ladies, absolutely not. But what we will do,
it's with you a little speed up. So I had
a little speed up, a little crab on it that
I would wear, but all of my peers were buttnaked,
and I thought it was the sweetest thing. Like coming
(04:39):
from New Orleans in an all black community to Germany
where the children looked like little cherup Christmas decorations was
just very intriguing to me. And so, yeah, that was
the beginning of my nude beach experience, my journey, if
you will.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
Christ and I were talking earlier and Christ was like,
have you ever been to a new beach? And I
was like, I was raised Catholic by a bunch of
Puerto Ricans, Like.
Speaker 4 (04:58):
No, do that?
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Oh yeah, yeah, I mean that's how it happened for
me is that I was Southern Black Baptist and my
parents kind of put me through a little bit of
light conversion therapy. I say light in a way that
like we're all healed now and we've discussed it, and
I'm obviously very queer. I'm on the Snippy's podcast, But yeah,
that did inform the way in which I slung shot
(05:21):
out of that into I'm gonna be naked in the
sun with men me. So then, as an adult, I
moved to Portland, Oregon, where I had booked a job
with this theater company. I know you from Portland, you
know about them. I lived at the Jupiter Hotel and
so if you don't know, this is like a trendy
(05:41):
hotel that's connected to a very famous music venue in Portland.
And I was walking distance from several gay bars and
I met my partner at Silverado. It's a full frontal
male nuda d strip club. I was offered a drop
there when I was fifteen. Okay, word, I met my
ma in there and he introduced me to my adulthood
(06:02):
nude beach experiences at Sobey's Island.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
And yeah, earlier, okay, okay, I have renamed rooster Rock
cock Mountain.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
I think that's I mean, I think that they really
wanted to name it that, but then they were like,
this is a little too on the no. So I
categorized my nude beaches in four zones. What I've discovered
is that wherever you enter the clothing optional area, typically
Zone one is going to be like straight people and families.
(06:34):
Zone two that's given queer, gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans folks
are going to be there, pro tip, the music is
going to be very good there cut and then Zone
three that's gay men with boners, that's it. Zone four
gay men fucking and pissing on each other, and Rooster Rock.
Zone four is in the front. Right when you walk in,
(06:54):
you're in it, you are in it?
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Yes, Wow, take me through this experience, because you've been
on nude beaches as a child, and you're like, all right,
we're going to cock Mountain knowing what you know?
Speaker 4 (07:04):
Now?
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Was that kind of like a mind fuck for you?
You walk straight into the fucking pisson?
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Was it a mind fuck?
Speaker 2 (07:08):
No?
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Because at that age, at that time, I was definitely
going looking for it.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
You want it on four front?
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Absolutely? And then we love Rooster Rock for that fact.
In fact, the first time I went by myself, I
got out of my car and there was a woman
talking to the police and she was like full of
this older white woman like crying, like and the men
there touching themselves. They're touching each other, and I was like, oh, no, officers,
where does she say they were leaning in? I don't
(07:38):
want to see it. I don't want to see it,
know Do I think you should?
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (07:46):
So what is it about being on a nude beach
that you enjoy? Well, first of all, the nakedness of
everyone is wonderful. I really do enjoy that. The bottom line,
like the bare minimum, You're gonna have a beautiful day,
you're gonna get relaxation, you're gonna get views of water,
it's gonna be a relaxing time, and then if you
desire anything more, you can get all the way up
(08:07):
to getting railed in the dunes. So like you have
like that juxtaposition of like all of the options are
available to you, but at least you will go home
having felt relaxed andnke it. There's nothing, there's physically nothing
between you and your joy. It's just you as you
are and your joy. And I do feel like there
is this thing where I think as humans, but definitely
(08:28):
in the queer community, we put ourselves into so many
different categories because we have to, especially with cruising apps
like being a thing like you want to cut to
like who I'm getting and who is who I'm bringing.
But with a new beach, it's like you are in
celebration of exactly what you are and nothing else and
anything else you choose is on you. And that's what
I love. Yeah, it's a celebration. It's a celebration of you.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
I think when you meet somebody who is closed, there's
so many signifiers that are like, oh, you're this guy,
You're wearing this type of clothes, this is from the store, Like,
you make a lot of assumptions when you meet someone,
stuff the way, how they're dressed. Do you feel like
there's sort of a freedom making new connections when you're
meeting another naked person.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Absolutely? Absolutely. In fact, it becomes weird when you put
the clothes on. When you go from the freedom to
the clothes, it's like, yeah, why are we doing this?
We were never designed to do this. I find that
I'm I'm unattracted to the person clothes. I'm like, oh,
this is an egg.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
This is what you're doing.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
This is the choice that you're making. That's wild. Yeah,
crazy when I come.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Inside someone and I see them dressed like an undercover cop.
Once we're done, oh no, not the khaki cargoes.
Speaker 4 (09:38):
So, how many new beaches will you say you visited?
I have been to a total of eight nude beaches
and how many continents? Two continents.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Okay, I've been naked on beaches that were not nude
beaches on other continents. I've been naked on a beach
in South Africa. It's kind of the farthest away from
home that I've been. Yeah, but yeah, because you can't
stop queers from doing what they do. It's just you,
just you be able to do that. The one, the
one beach that I've been to in Australia, it's no
(10:07):
longer a nude beach as of August of last year
because of indecent behavior. And I said, I dare you,
I dare you to try to keep it that way.
It's not gonna happen. First of all, they're just gonna
be pulling their little Aussie bumps to the side and
then do it. And then on top of that, on
top of that, you're just inviting more people to the beach,
one of those who know no, and then they're all
(10:30):
going to be joining in. You're not gonna stop us
because way yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Now, you mentioned that you have lived in a bunch
of places. Have you ever been to any nude beaches
in the South? Do you know what that was like
when you were growing up versus what it's like now.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
The only nude beach I have been to that's officially
nude in the Americans house is in Miami hall Over Beach. Yes,
have you been? Okay, Okay, so this is my first
time on Halover Beach and I'm in Zone three that's
gaming with boners. If you've kept notes just so you know,
just so every now and then you could double dutch
into four if you need to, if you need to.
(11:06):
What's going on? You know what I mean? And I
find myself flanked like kitty corner in front of me
on the right, behind me on the left. So like,
no matter which way I'm flipping, I'm seeing a straight couple. No, right,
this is horror, right, and it's crazy because the women
(11:26):
are wearing bottoms, which is like you didn't even understand
the assignment. But the men, both of them, both of
these like older white men, they have the biggest dicks
I've ever like, like, the dicks are bigger than God like.
And so for those of you who don't know, God
does have a dick, because he said Adam was made
in the image of God. So Adam had a dick
than God has a dick. See, we are going to church.
(11:48):
I'm sorry, Am, Now the Sunday turns out so anyway,
their dicks are bigger than that. And then I hear
the southern accent. One of them answers the phone and
he's like, I don't know how, I don't know which
house you're talking about. I own too, many properties to
narrow down which house you're talking about, And I said, oh, ship,
(12:10):
these men are the descendants of people who enslaved people.
I said, wait a minute, these are my dicks. That's
somewhere along the way. My family's blood got mixed up
in your family's blood. And now you got some of
my family's dick, and I want it back. I want
(12:32):
it back. So what do we do? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (12:34):
What are in this case?
Speaker 1 (12:36):
And that's what it's not giving rations? And so I
didn't fuck with them because they're straight and they were
doing their little thing or whatever. But it is a
campaign of mind that if you are a white man
and from the South and you have a dick that
is bigger than mine, I want that dick. I'm going
to join you in that. I'm going to join We
(13:01):
are gonna need that deck. Sorry, you better know how
to use it, oh man.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
Okay, So, Joseph, we've got a lot of stories from you,
but this is cruising confessions from wondering. Do you have
any hot cruising confessions from your many trips to nude
beaches that you would like to share with us right now?
Speaker 3 (13:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (13:15):
So one of my favorites is one of my earliest,
and that was with that partner who I met at Silverado.
We became what I like to call the main events,
do you know, like sex parties or a new beaches
or any spaces where like people are hooking up around
other people. There's like little pockets of people hooking up around,
but then there's one pocket that happens to be like
(13:36):
the biggest pocket. That pocket is creating residual hookups around it.
And we were that and zero, We really were. And
so we have different bodies. He's like a six to
two white dude who's like a linebacker in high school
and I'm five seven and a half in this little
bitty body. So we were giving what everybody needed, whatever
(13:59):
you were. Yeah, yeah, we had it. And we were
also flipping. It was like that kind of and do
you know this moment and in the Lion King one
Rafiki parts that little blade of grass and he says,
look down there. It was giving very much like look
down there from everybody around until they all were around us.
Speaker 3 (14:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
Yeah, it was a lovely, lovely event. And that was
on cock Mountain. I have a.
Speaker 4 (14:23):
Similar story about when I was in z Believe. They
recently were like my boyfriend and I were fucking and like,
we just draw a crowd. It's just a thing that happens.
And like, whenever we were separated, my boyfriend be like, well,
whenever I couldn't find you, I just looked for the
crowd exactly. So earlier I was talking a little bit
about body positivity and sort of like the effects of
(14:45):
that and the queer community, and I'm wondering if your
time at the Nude Beach has sort of helped you
come into that.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
More or you know what I mean. Do you know
what I'm saying? I do?
Speaker 2 (14:53):
I do.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
I think it was a slow burn. So that partner
that I mentioned introduced me to the Nude Beach, and
he was somebody who like really helped me feel positive
about myself, like in a crazy way, like he would
say dumb shit, like you're the most beautiful person I've
ever seen, and I'm like, I can see myself and
I can see other people, So relax walking onto a
(15:16):
nude beach with someone on your side who feels that way.
That was my introduction. And so then walking onto it
by myself, I kind of went with that bit of confidence,
but then realize I really didn't need it because bodies
are not a monolith. It turns out every single one
of them is different. The nude beach offers the experience
in which you can go and see all kinds of
(15:37):
different bodies in a way that like, it really does
break down your barriers of feeling like shame. It really
really does, like, Oh, that person has this thing that
I actually don't like about myself, but there they go,
playing frisbee, running with it. Whatever it may be. I
do think that it has informed the ways in which
I look at myself and also the way I tend
(15:59):
to not judge others the way I think I did
before I was a nude beach goer.
Speaker 4 (16:03):
Okay, so when we come back, Joseph is going to
share some expert tips on how to make the most
of your trip to a new beach and want to
watch out for if you're a first timer.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
Don't get dressed. We'll be right back. Now, we've heard
some nude beach cruising confessions and about how much Joseph
loves being neked. As you said, but in this segment neked.
But in this segment we are going to get practical
advice on how to have a successful experience cruising on
a nude beach.
Speaker 4 (16:29):
What would you say to a first timer who's like
nervous about going to a nude beach, but they really
want to do it. They're like excited, but they don't
know how to approach it.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
I would say, dive in. There are a lot of
people who are like, oh, it's weird because I'm afraid
that I'm going to get hard as soon as I
get out there, you get hard. Let that be a thing.
That's okay. My first few times, I'm like, I'm only
I'm just like all the blood there, so and I
just let that be a thing truly until I'm like leaking,
(16:58):
let that be the reality. Or if you're a little nervous,
do what you're comfortable with. One tip that I have
is like a way that in which you could feel
like you're not so surrounded is by being close to
the water. Now it does give that like a lot
of people can see you, but you're not seeing all
of them see you, so that you create this intimate
experience where like it's just you and the water and
the water and that's it. Or you find a little
(17:20):
nook and cranny or a little corner that you can
hide in. But just know that if you're in a knook,
somebody gonna find you in that crany at some point.
But yeah, go where you want to go and be
comfortable in your own body. I am not the person
who wants to be in the middle of it all.
I bring a tent. Somebody that can hide. Bringing a tent.
You have your shade, you have your privacy, you have
all of those things. But if you're going to a
(17:42):
beast and you do want to walk around, that's cumbersome.
So for those folks who want to move and meet
new people, I would say pack, like you don't want
to bring something that's more than a packpack. I usually
just like bring a sheet as the thing that I
lay on because it is extra light. Give me a
full sheet. It's your cuean sheet that I can just okay.
So yeah, yeah, if I'm going with people, yeah, if
(18:06):
you're going for a party, it's a very different thing.
But if you're going solo and you're just going out
to cruise by yourself, you want to be able to
I don't like it right here. Let me just.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
I that what general etiquette would you let people know
about if they are maybe curious about getting naked and
escalating into getting hard in leaking, where do you do that?
How do you go about it?
Speaker 1 (18:26):
And just other things folks should know. I just feel
like consent is king, just like in every space, at
all times, no matter what you're doing. I think that
some folks might get their wires crossed and believe that
you're into something because you are naked, even if you
are hard. But I think that consent is absolutely necessary
in all spaces. Queer's cruising, Like there's eye contact, there's
(18:48):
like body language. There's so many different things that like
you could read in a person that will tell you
what they do and do not want. But then if
you want to break the silence, just say absolutely not,
I'm so sorry, I'm good, my guy, Like keep it pushing,
like whatever you need to say. That is the golden
rule is consent. One thing and I'll say about Sniffies
(19:08):
is that when you're cruising, it takes a lot of time.
That's another thing. So like some block on the beach,
because you might have an idea of how long you're
gonna be on the beach, but then once you start
getting into it, it could be hours and hours. An
hour so you need that some block. And also like
sniffies will cut down the time, Yes, it will absolutely
cut down the time of you having to sit out
(19:28):
and wait because cruising is a long game time, not
just on the beach, just in general, like if you're
in a park or you some stall or whatever you're doing,
it's a long game. And Sniffies will absolutely cut down
on that.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
Fore you And to be honest, I feel like a
nude beach is the best place to identify the dick
on your math. Like usually one of my sniffies, I
can't look down the sidewalk and be like, oh that's
the right, that's the assets spread over at the beach,
I can like my phone up. Look we got it
so far in your like nude beach kit.
Speaker 4 (19:57):
You've got a sheet, yes, you've got sun block, yes,
and you've got snippies. What else is in your kit?
So I'm officially coming out. I'm a side in the
sand now, Like I have had a lot of sex
on the beach, but now the.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
Sand, the sand, the sand, Like what are we doing
with the sand mixing with the moisturizing, Like what type
of pearl is gonna come out of this? Booty's hole.
You know what I'm saying, Like the grains of sand,
what is it giving when it comes out like it's yeah,
it's a little messy. And my so my pro tip
is having a squirt bottle, like one of those sports
(20:35):
water bottles, so like if you're not gonna you're not
gonna go like wash off everything in the water before
you get to the water. First of all, like little towels.
People think beats, I think big towel. Get you a
little medium sized hand towel and also a little sports
squirt bottle. You don't want to use the saltwater that's
in the ocean or the brown water.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
Mountain.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
That water now, that's a soup. That water that's an
ou grandmother. Yeah, if you.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
Aren't familiar, okay, so we've gone through your kit of essentials.
Now I'm hoping you can maybe give us a few tips,
especially when it comes to the cruising areas of the beach.
And you talked about some of these places, the dunes,
the little nooks and the crannies. How do you access
some how do you work your way in?
Speaker 1 (21:24):
It's a natural thing normally, the dooms, the forest, whatever
is around the beach, the Oju, I would say, just
like treat it like a hike, Like, just treat it
like you're about to just go on a lovely walk
through the forest, through the trees, through the sand, whatever
it is, and go to a place that feels comfortable.
You go to an airsight like this looks nice, and
that could just be like what's naturally there, or if
(21:46):
there is a person there who you're interested in, that
looks nice, and there's certain elements of that in these spaces.
It's like it's immediately gorgeous. It's immediately romantic, like you
met somebody going to be somebody swam over to you,
you saw somebody leaning on a tree in the Caribbean,
like this is automatically going to be a gorgeous thing.
And then you get that consent, you get that little
eye contact, you get that like those little inches, the inches,
(22:09):
the inches of silence. Yeah, the inches of silence. That's
a book title. Underrated, absolutely underrated.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Series that I am absolutely gonna watch.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Yeah, of course, yes, you find what feels comfortable and
then hold out for those inches of silence.
Speaker 4 (22:24):
Following the crowd has always been a thing, right, like
if you're unsure where the spaces are because like zep
LEI there right, we weren't really sure We're all the
things were happening, and we're like, this don't look like
the pictures that we were seeing. And then we saw
these people sort of like traversing kind of through the
woods and then up these like stairs, and I was like, oh,
let's just follow the people. Yeah, and it was like
this whole other section of beach, yes, that was like
(22:47):
populated with people, and it was like, oh, we made it.
Speaker 3 (22:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (22:50):
So just like following all the people as ask questions. Well,
sometimes I'm a little nervous to ask questions because I
want to look like I know what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
You know, they know you're one of those you'll go
the wrong way and be like wait, oh my god.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
I would end up on the straight part of Fire
Island to be like no, no, no, these are where
the gays, I say, like there.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
You could follow the locals on every new beat that
I've been to, roughly fifteen to twenty dudes who are
like our elders. You can tell they've been there every day,
maybe last red Yewn like, yeah, you are rid rid.
These folks know where to be and where not to be,
and you can kind of tell, like from the way
(23:30):
they move, like where you could and should not be.
And yeah, you could always ask them, like you can
always just ask a local, like what what's what in
the environment?
Speaker 2 (23:41):
So great like low pressure way to strike up a
conversation with someone you might be interested in the beach.
You havesk somewhere to go. If they're not giving it back,
then you go to where you're going. If they're kind
of flirting with you, maybe you can invite them there.
Now you come back and revisit, like it's a nice
way to break the ice too. Yeah, it's giving. I'm
lost and you me sorry, sir, I'm looking for a
cock mountain? Has anyone seen it? I do you want
(24:03):
to talk about queer spaces on nude beaches in particular,
because we talked a little bit about some of the
queer beaches here that have been targeted by law enforcement,
and we all know that in today's political climate, law
enforcement is being emboldened to go after queer people more
than ever. So I'm wondering what are some tips for
staying safe from arrest while cruising the beach? How can
you navigate that without getting targeted unfairly.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
I want to go on record because I don't know
what the insurance situation is and say that, like, whatever
I'm about to say has nothing to do with whether
or not you will get arrested or not. I have
not been arrested, but like maybe you could be. And
I don't want to be the one that tells you
because you did what I said, don't be good, darling,
thank you.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
I was doing a picturesque corner.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
So if y'all really about that life, that cruise in life.
You know about those bathrooms at Pinnstation rip, I've witnessed
the rip.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
Yeah, well they're just not popping the way they used to.
That perfect O in Unison the same.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
I haven't been in a while. I don't know what
the current state of things are there, but there are
certain spaces that I think that law enforcement have just accepted.
That is one of them. And I have witnessed someone
snitching two police officers, and I've heard NYPD straight up
told that person like, we go in there and they stop,
(25:25):
and then when we leave, they keep going. So we
don't know what to tell you. Don't be in there,
go pee and another at the end of the hall,
right because it won't be happening there, well it will be.
But also like on the beach, there is like a
culture of like watch people's back, like if you see something,
(25:47):
say something. We're looking out for each other, Like we said,
it's a queer community and we know each other's needs
more than anyone else does. And so like if you
see the Pope Poe called cod the black is hot,
like you know, we need to shift move whatever. There
they go, they come in.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Okay, if it's all right with you, Joseph, I know
you're a expert here, but I want to crowdsforcet from
both of you. Since you seem to know nude beaches
so so well, we've covered a lot of different places.
Can you give me between the two of you who
have visited so many nude beaches, can you kind of
give me a rundown of like your top five and
let me know, like just rapid fire, what that beach
(26:23):
is best.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
For the first one that comes to my like top
for me because of the beauty, because of like the
easy access. Two cruising is Polo Beach, north shore of
a Wahoo and everybody's a porn star. So like beautiful bodies,
beautiful people, beautiful beaches, beautiful views, beautiful beautiful gowns.
Speaker 4 (26:42):
Great gout For me, I will have to say at
Zepolita in Mexico, it is kind of must included beach.
You should sort of have to like hike to get
to it. But every night everyone watches the sunset and
it turns into an orgy. It was one of the
most magical experiences of it had.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:01):
And then for me, like if you want to go
head first, it's cock Mountain akaa, rooster rock is what
the law will call it because that is again like
that's his own for first, that's a place you're gonna
see like, oh this is a new beach. But we
have on harnesses and we have on cages, so like
oh yeah, you're gonna see gear. It's definitely gear down.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Okay, So that just opened up so many dangerous sand potentials.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Yeah yeah, they really they really get down. Yeah right yeah.
And it also like is those different types of terrain,
so like it is like full on tree trees, then
also dunes, oju hills mountain so yeah, yeah, kind of
everything and it starts when you walk in.
Speaker 4 (27:45):
But like I also love keeping on Portland Sovie's Island.
There's just a nostalgia about it.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
For me.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
It's on a river, it's very quiet, the water's for
a chill. It's just a little bit more calm for me.
Tai gaya to guy. They don't they in Australia, They're
gonna be like this, boy, I don't know how to
say nothing, but it's like t A g A d
A y A eight something like that. It's like that
on the coast of Australia because of that cliff that
(28:12):
you have to climb up. This is a very beautiful thing.
This is like healing time for me up in this
beautiful area in Australia.
Speaker 4 (28:21):
Cherry Grove and Fire Island, Like, oh, I didn't think
that counted, but yes, you're gonna get naked and you're gonna.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Yeah, I've got naked and fucked on the beach many times.
I was like a Fire Island counts.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
Yeah, the truth comes out.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
I just never think of it as a new beach.
I'm like, it's it's fuck Central, so yeah, of course
we're naked. And then Gunnison, Yeah, I mean I think
Gunnison was my first foray, I've only been once, but
I was like, oh fun. But for me it was
very like naked time with friends. I wasn't even thinking
about cruising. And you know, naturally all go out after that.
Everyone's horny because we've been naked on the beach and
(28:56):
things happened. But yeah, I've never I don't think anywhere
but sides Fire Island have I ever gone for being
naked to fucking in the same same beach. All right,
just if we haven't fortunately come to the end of
our time together, I've learned a lot as a as
a nude beach nebie. But I do want to ask
you before we let you go. Is there anything we
haven't covered today that you want to share with us,
or anything you want to mention?
Speaker 1 (29:15):
I don't think so. I think we covered a lot
of stuff. We went from me being a little boy
all the way to a grown man fucking on the
beach at the full story, that's that's an art we've covered.
Speaker 2 (29:27):
I've learned so much about you today too, because I
know you as a comic, I know you's a character actor,
I know you as a puppeteer, I know you as
a gay slut. Now I know you as a nude
beach Officio. There's so many layers. Every time I see you,
I discover something new.
Speaker 4 (29:40):
Okay, when we come back, we'll be listening to a
cruising confession from our special Snippies hotline.
Speaker 2 (29:44):
Oh yeah, you'll definitely want to stick around to listen
to that. Thank you again, Joseph for being here, Thank
y'all for having me.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
Now, before we close today's episode, let's listen to some
listeners submitted cruising confessions from our Horny Collin hotline.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
I am terrified and excited place.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
You know, it's kind of like my favorite part of
the show, favorite show.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
I'm really glad we're doing that.
Speaker 5 (30:08):
Okay, So one time I was on Snippy's and I
wanted to make a friend, and I normally go on
there to hook up, but I decided that it would
be a good idea to find another bottom that we
could go to the club and they out. Well, I
ended up getting Pat Fish and he was not the
(30:30):
fem bottom that I thought he was. He actually ended
up being a cholo and I was like hanging out
with him and we were door dashing together in my
car and next thing you know, this motherfucker stole my
fucking car. As I was dropping off the door dash order,
(30:51):
I was like, I literally got off the car and
the next thing you know, I just hear the door
slam and he took off.
Speaker 3 (31:00):
In my car.
Speaker 5 (31:01):
And the reason why we were door dashing together yea,
because I was like, okay, let's go to the club,
but first let me make some point points. Yeah that
makes sense, but I guess you decided to steal my car.
So I had to call the police and they're like,
do you have any photos of him? And I just
(31:23):
showed them his whole picks.
Speaker 4 (31:27):
That being a police officer, right, And you're like answering
a call, right, and you're like, okay, grant upt auto.
Sure do you have any pictures of the purp And
they're like whole pick? Like I have to be getting
punks right now, Like what do you mean?
Speaker 2 (31:47):
The suspect has a lightly hairy skin tone anywhere from
white to caramel. If someone stow your car, do you
think you could pick out their hole from a lineup?
I know you could. I don't know why I asked, Okay,
whoa girl?
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Okay, I'm sorry, where do we begin?
Speaker 2 (32:04):
First of all, you don't see where you eat. And
I would also say you don't fuck where you work? Okay,
thing number one, you got catfished. You were looking for
friends on snippies, right, girl, which like work?
Speaker 1 (32:14):
You know what I mean? Place?
Speaker 2 (32:15):
Time and place maybe not the primary use, but sure
you know two fembottoms can forge a friendship the last
of lifetime. And I love that. But right, okay, So
he's a cholo, which to me would be a fun discovery. Yeah,
I'm like, oh, I love this is great. Right, Cholas
can be fem bottoms too, Let's get that clear.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
Why is a chilo catfishing as a fem bottom Because
he was stealing a car? So sorry, I forgot.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
You were like, let's gather coin for me together before
we go to the club. I'm like, girl, meet him
at the club, Go gather your coin, do your douchary,
go home. I just I would not let a stranger
alone in my car, especially if I had been catfished
by them. But it does speak to your trusting and
noble spirit. And I want you call her to know
that you didn't do anything wrong.
Speaker 1 (33:00):
Didn't You made a.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Few wrong choices, but they need to learn, yeah, some lessons,
Because girl, what are you doing?
Speaker 1 (33:06):
All right?
Speaker 2 (33:06):
If you got your car stolen? Yes, Or if you
would like to hear your own cruising confessions on an
upcoming episode of this podcast, you can call our Cruising
Confessions hotline at three oh two two one nine three
eight nine eight. And I'm gonna repeat it because I'm
bad with numbers and I figure some of you are
as well. Three zero two two one nine three eight
nine to eight. Leave us a juicy story and you
(33:27):
might hear us gag listening to it. Yeah, that's all right, Chris.
This episode was so much fun. I love that we
had Joseph and I learned so much more about him
today than I ever thought possible.
Speaker 1 (33:39):
Same.
Speaker 4 (33:40):
I was so grateful that he came in and shared
his wealth of knowledge with us, like and I love that,
Like there are now need'd be just that I have
to go visit?
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Sure, yeah, of course you know, Like now I have
a list of places that I need to go.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
You got vacation money?
Speaker 4 (33:56):
Well, I want to thank our guests Joseph Limister stopping
by today. You can check them out at Joe Murray
that's j O. M. I R A Y on all
social media and follow his sketch comedy group oncle Function
on all social media.
Speaker 2 (34:09):
Yes, they're fantastic, you won't regret it. Sniffy's Cruising Confessions
is directed by Adam Barron, produced by A. Menda Kuper
and Cameron Femino, and executive produced by Eli Martin.
Speaker 4 (34:19):
Cruising Confessions is presented by Sniffy's, the ultimate map based
cruising platform for kay by.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Incurious people ready to cruise.
Speaker 4 (34:25):
Check out the map at snippies dot com and fall
Sniche's at snippies app.
Speaker 2 (34:29):
Cruisers are a community. Do your part in keeping us safe.
Learn more about protecting your sexual health at Healthy Sexuals
dot com.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
Put your put, put your put, put your plus to
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