April 7, 2024 • 52 mins
This episode is one you don’t want to miss! How are fear and chaos working in your favor?
April is the punctuation month of 2024 that accelerates our path forward into greater sovereignty, agency and love over fear, if we choose to be warriors of our own light. This is the time to face your deepest fears, heal chaos and be in the eye of the storm.
This episode is jam-packed with Mercury Retrograde and Aries Total Solar Eclipse energy insights, astrology details, dates to be aware of and how this impacts you personally.
FEAR ASKS YOU: Are you going to…
Forget Everything And Run
Or
Face Everything And Rise
Amanda goes into detail around the 3 numerology of April, Mercury and its retrograde phase impact in Aries throughout the month, the exact Chiron conjunction with the Solar Eclipse, Jupiter conjunct Uranus, the last total Solar Eclipse in Aries (curiously this last time this happened was on April 8th 2005 at exactly 19 degrees, the same day 19 years later on the same date at the same degree) and more.
What is the hybrid asteroid comet Chiron?
Who is the wounded healer?
What is wounded within you, and are you willing to heal it?
How will you become the Hero or Main Character of your story this month?
How are you using your instincts?
What does NASA & Cern’s Hadron Collider have to do with all this?
Take a listen to The Soul Sessions Podcast with Ally Fallon - Write Your Own Story for support and practical journal prompts of becoming the hero or heroine of your own life. It’s time to live, be and embrace yourself as The Main Character in your story!!
If you haven’t listened to the Soul Sessions April Energy Forecast, it’s got a lot of great insights for the entire month of April and around Mercury Retrograde and the Eclipse to help you navigate into higher consciousness, 5-dimensional energy and your path of empowerment!
If you can join us in Austin, Texas on May 7th, please do! This is an intentionally curated and divinely inspired event to activate higher consciousness, accelerate and ground in your path of empowerment and higher, brighter living. Get tickets & learn more! Plus, Austin’s oldest apothecary, The Herb Bar is joining us with magical plant medicine to enhance and support your multi-dimensional healing journey.
Resources:
Nasa Launches Sounding Rockets into the Moon’s Shadow During the Solar Eclipse
Chiron Sign Tables (for those of you curious about what astrological sign your natal Chiron is in)
Chiron in Astrology - the myth, the wounding and the healing through all the signs & houses
Follow Amanda on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/soulpathology/
See omnystudio.com/listener f
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Hi, everyone, It's Amanda Rieger Green. Welcome to a special
Soul Sessions episode. We are full on in Mercury Retrograde
and a clip season with other big astrological events happening
as we speak. I have mentioned this to you before,
but I am being as emphatic as I can in
(00:30):
telling you that April is a game changing kind of month.
It is complex, it is chaotic, it is confusing. As
best you can do, not get involved in the drama.
You're going to experience drama, interpersonal discord, fear, turbulence. It's natural.
(00:55):
If you weren't experiencing that, you might not be as
awake as you could be. And if you aren't experiencing that,
by the way, if you are so happy, joyous, free, calm,
cool and collected right now and nothing is bothering you,
good on. You stay in that space as best you can,
(01:17):
and I would encourage you to actually beam that light
to all of us out there, to the people you
know that may be in stress or duress, friends, colleagues,
family that you know are struggling. If you are experiencing winds, breakthroughs, ease,
take that beautiful frequency that you are holding and grounding
(01:40):
in and see if you can radiate it out to others.
You know how, I say, care bear stare care bear
stare that energy out when you feel it or think
about it, because we need it. We all need it.
But most of us, in many forms are experiencing suffering, pain,
deep rooted fears coming up, external chaos, internal chaos. And
(02:04):
I welcome it do I love walking through it? Not necessarily,
but I welcome it as a significant shift because we've
felt it building and it is here. I'm going to
break down the solar eclipse in Aries on May eighth,
I mean, excuse me, April eighth. See, there's mercury retrograde
(02:25):
flubbing up my dates, So excuse me if I am
a little choppy in dates and times, because there's a
lot of significant dates, times and energies I want you
to pay attention to. So I will correct myself and
be as accurate as possible here. But we've got Mercury,
which retrograded on April first, April Fools Day, a powerful,
(02:45):
powerful total solar eclipse in Aries on April eighth, and
then we have Jupiter conjunct Urinus on April twentieth, and
Mercury stations to turn back direct on April twenty fifth.
That's a lot of energy. So basically, mercury is retrograde
the whole month. Anytime mercury is retrograde, mercury governs the mind.
(03:11):
So it is about thoughts, communication, how we express ourselves,
how we listen, how we don't listen the voice that
we are listening to. It's kind of like which wolf
are you feeding this month? Are you feeding the fear wolf?
Are you feeding the love wolf? That is really a
great barometer or litmus test for the month. Which wolf
(03:32):
am I feeding? In this scenario? Am I coming from
a place of fear and exclusion or resistance? Or am
I coming from a place of openness, ease and love?
And truly I have taken that temperature on myself. I
don't know how many times in the last handful of days,
really weeks. Because I want you all to take a
(03:54):
moment and think back to March twenty fifth, when we
experienced the lee Ra full moon eclipse. Full moon eclipses,
by the way, they're emotional, and sometimes they are way
harder than solar eclipses because they bring stuff up from
the unconscious. They bring things up for us to reconcile
(04:18):
that we may not even realize exist, or we may
not know we're ready to confront, and it can be
jarring and harsh and painful. And in Libra, the opposite
of arees libra is about relationship balance, harmony, collaboration, or
the opposite of that disharmony, disease, imbalance, lack of collaboration. So,
(04:43):
of course relationships have been discombobulated or given us opportunities
to reassess what is our point of view, what is
our stance, and what boundaries may need to be reset
or what we need need to communicate That arees polarity.
When there's a full moon, you've got the sun and
(05:05):
Ares and the moon and libra aries being the individual
and the I am. What do I need? What do
I want? What do I desire? And how do I
courageously which means moving through fear, communicate that or assert
myself or take instinctual action? And instinct is probably the
most imperative word I might send out to you this
(05:28):
month is how do I act on my instincts? Yes,
there's an element of intuition, but instinctual action comes from
just do it energy. You know some in your Nike
just do it? What do I just get up and do?
How do I act on instinct? And I'm not talking
about reaction from a place of fear, pure instinct, which
(05:49):
is prana life force energy. So think back by the way,
just to that time. What has come up for you
between March twenty fifth ish till now this eclipse. That
is really important stuff for you to investigate as we
move into this eclipse and around this eclipse. What is
coming up for you to confront, to look at, what
(06:10):
fears are coming up, What insecurities are coming up. What
have you not been wanting to confront or face. What
have you been forced to confront or face? Anything that
is coming up for you around that, Take note of
it for sure. With this retrograde and the eclipse, and
they're both in arees. Mercury is retrograding in aries, so
(06:31):
it is really bringing up energy from the subconscious up
into the conscious mind. Mercury represents our thinking, our conscious mind.
Sometimes we do things, we act without thinking, and that's
a little bit of that arias energy, which we need.
It is part of our psyche, it's part of our physical,
tangible human experience. Instinct vitality. Those things are imperative now
(06:58):
with this eclipse. Pips one of the things that I
want you to think about. And it's funny. I woke
up this morning with this urgency or desire and this
was instinctual, right, not intuitive, It was really instinctual. I
mean right when I woke up this morning. This is
the way my brain works. By the way, sometimes brain
and consciousness alike, higher consciousness truly in tandem with my
(07:21):
thinking mind. But this was instinctual. This morning. I woke
up and I thought, I need to look back at
the last time there was a solar eclipse in aries,
and I need to figure out what was going on
in my life. Then, so I go to look back.
Interestingly enough, it was on April eighth. That's when this
eclipse is April eighth, Right? Is there not a synchronicity there?
(07:43):
Like that kind of blew my mind to start with.
It was April eighth of two thousand and five, and
it was in nineteen degrees of aries. This eclipse is
on Monday, April eighth, twenty twenty four, in nineteen degrees
of aries. We are at a pivotal point. And you
know how many synchronicities are coming for you all in
(08:05):
a multitude of ways, whether it's the numerology and the
number codes, or it's animal medicine and energy or signs,
or your telepathy being heightened, dreams, correlations, deja vu, lots
of deja vu, and timeline shifts for people. Strange occurrences,
strange things, Stranger things are happening right. They're only gonna
(08:28):
happen more frequently and rapidly as the year progresses, because
this eclipse is like a punctuation mark that basically is
like a fire starter for the remainder of this year
and into twenty twenty five. You know what I say
sometimes about the energy or the numerology of the eight,
(08:49):
it's like we've gotten on the roller coaster or the
ride at the theme park and they've already put the
safety down and they've hit start or they've pulled the
lever and it is about to wrap accelerate, And I've
told you quantum leap kind of energy, and that's Jupiter
conjunct uranus. We're already in that conjunction, even though the
conjunction is exact on the twentieth, which really signifies a
(09:12):
leap in consciousness, a leap in technology, moving innovatively rapidly
at an accelerated rate towards the future. That is happening.
But during this eclipse, what is very curious is there
are all these significant astrological configurations that are happening. I'm
(09:34):
going to break that down a little bit and dive deeper,
but I want you to think back to April ish
of two thousand and five, and you may not remember
exactly what was going on in April. I happen to
remember that. Of course, once I saw that everything started
flooding in it was a very significant time for me personally.
(09:54):
I graduated graduate school in Boston. I lived in Boston,
and I don't know if many you know this, but
I have a Master of Public Health and right after college,
I went to Boston University and got my Master of
Public Health in health law, bioethics, and human rights. And
then also because of the over achiever that I've been
(10:17):
healing in certain ways, where a lot of that over
achiever for me is if I have a degree, if
I have the credentials, then I am worthy or valuable.
And that's an old story for me. It's hardwired in
my family it's hardwired in my genetics and DNA, my drive.
But this perception of if I have the credentials, then
I have some sort of knowledge or expertise, and I
(10:41):
am enough, I am worthy, I am valuable. I adored
that degree and it was very synchronistic and aligned. However,
in April, just before I graduated in May, I was
interviewing for jobs. And this is right around the time
of the eclipse, mind you, and looking back, I know
the significance of this, and I'm just breaking it down
to give you some examples, because it triggered a cycle
(11:05):
of massive upheaval and change for me, and it was
extremely disempowering. I couldn't have known it would be disempowering
at the time, but the choice I made triggered a
lot of fear and a lot of fear around my
identity arees. So think about it. I had been in
school most of my life, from elementary school, preschool up
(11:27):
until college and graduate school. So I was no longer
going to be a student in the academic realm. I
was going to have to go out into the world
and work, have a job, have a career. So making
that shift right that leap in my early twenties. But
I had been interviewing for jobs and I had a
job with the State of Massachusetts working in their insurance Commission.
(11:50):
I had a job offer, and I would be crunching
numbers and doing things that quite frankly, when I look
at it today, and I know what I've felt in
my heart. First of all, it felt really boring to me.
You all know a lot of me and my heart.
I'm a connector, I'm a people person, you know. I
ended up in business development, organizational and people development, in
(12:12):
strategy with people and igniting and inspiring people's talents and
putting them in the right places and giving them the
right resources. I mean that flows out of me. That's
in my heart. But I would have been in this job,
which was a great stepping stone, and I would have
been crunching numbers, doing kind of actuarial stuff, which is
really not my forte. And you all know I love
(12:34):
numbers and numerology, but I am not a statistician, a mathematician.
While I had a lot of training in that in
my public health degree, like with statistics and epidemiology and
all of that stuff, it was not where I was
lit up. I was lit up in health law and
bioethics and human rights and things that really advocated my
humanitarian side but also my creativity. So I had this
(12:56):
job offer and it was like, I'm laughing. Some of
you know this this personal story. I've used it before,
but I don't think i've shared it on the podcast.
I had a job offer and they were going to
pay me like thirty six thousand dollars. I had a
job offer and they were going to pay me like
(13:17):
thirty six thousand dollars. Okay, mind you, I'm living in Boston,
super expensive. I am just graduating grad school, so I
had student loans and I was working in Ann Taylor
at Ann Taylor all throughout graduate school. And in order
to stay in Boston and do that job, I would
(13:39):
have had to also work at Ann Taylor while working
a full time job for the government for the state
of Massachusetts. There was no way to actually, like live
in Boston pay my bills on that salary. I would
have to have two jobs, and I don't I couldn't
have done it mentally or even maybe physically. Maybe I
could have, but it just didn't fit and it didn't
(14:02):
seem right. However, there was a very clear path that
was starting to be laid out for me in health care,
health care reform, just being aligned and meeting with people
in political positions, which is what I thought I wanted
to do, health care policy, those sorts of things. But
I remember thinking this is not sustainable. I can't afford this,
(14:24):
and also this job is not worth the risk because
I'm not excited about the job. I don't know that
this is what I want to be when I grow up.
I don't even know if I really am capable of
doing the job they're offering me, you know, like mentally,
like am I am an impostor They're offering me this job,
but I don't really know if I can compute and
(14:46):
calculate and do what they want me to do. So anyway,
I made a decision between then and my graduation to
move back to Texas, and I moved back in at
twenty some odd years old. I would be I turned
twenty five that year, so I was twenty four at
the time to move back to Texas to Austin, Texas
(15:06):
and move in with my mother. I had not lived
with my mom since I graduated high school because I
had gone away to college and then I went away
to graduate school, but I made the decision to come
back to Texas and move in with my mother, and
that triggered a whole other series of events, and it
opened up a story, a journey for me that was
(15:29):
interesting and dynamic and messy and confusing. But when I
came back to Texas, and here is the disempowering part.
When I came back to Texas, and remember this is
two thousand and five, literally where I had been in Massachusetts,
it was so active politically active around healthcare, public health,
(15:50):
healthcare reform. And my degree was really respected. Okay, I
had a Master of Public Health from Boston University. And
all of these things are in iordant to me. Right,
you recognize me, You see how important I am or
how smart I am, or look at my degree. I mean,
I am showing you all my misconceptions of self, of identity,
(16:12):
my worth to being defined by credentials or achievements in
order to show my stature or my capability. And then
here I'm telling you they're offering me a job and
I don't even think I can do it or I
don't want to do it. So I have all this
internal strife and conflict, but I made this decision to
move back to Texas. I moved back to Texas and
(16:33):
over the course of the next six months, really actually
it was almost a year, because it would not be
until March of two thousand and six that I took
a job, and I took a job in Houston, Texas.
It took me that long to find a job in
my field area of expertise that seemed like a fit
(16:54):
at the time, and it was a big divine setup.
I moved back to Austin. I went to work at
Ann Taylor in Austin, and I was putting out resumes,
I was making contacts, I was networking, and almost everyone
I met did not recognize my degree. What is a
Master of Public Health? Like, what are you really qualified
to do? Oh, you're overqualified, you can't do this job.
(17:16):
I mean, I was looking in the hospital systems because
I was trained as a bioethicist. I could have been
a bioethicist, and I was just running up against either
your over credentialed or we don't think you're credentialed at
all to do this. And it went on for months
and even to the extent of very personal interactions where
(17:37):
I felt very dismissed or unimportant, or unintelligent, or being
put in my place. There was a lot of disheartening
stuff and disparaging things that happened to me personally that
I took very personally, by the way, because my ego
was being shattered, my sense of identity was being shattered,
and I really was lost for months. And what I
(17:59):
found my solace in, where I found my happiest self
was my mom was a nurse and I was living
with her, and we had lots of friends in the neighborhood.
Shout out to Onion Creek if you know, you know
my Onion Creek crew. But like in the evening, I
would prepare dinner for everybody, Like I would be in
the kitchen. I'm really good with salad dressings. That's my jam.
(18:20):
My dad made salad dressings. We never had a bottled
salad dressing in our refrigerator. He made salad dressings from scratch,
sauces from scratch, and I love to do that. I'd
do that to this day, and it also brings me
a lot of joy. So I would cook for everyone,
and like they'd come home and I would entertain you know,
everybody would come from work, they'd have their cocktails. I
(18:42):
would make like specialty cocktails for everybody. You know, this
is another lifetime of mine. Ago. I don't make specialty
cocktails anymore, but I sure do make a heck of
a homemade salad dressing just and I can whip it
up from anything in anybody's kitchen. But anyway, I literally
am like curating meals and stuff to the point where
I thought I wanted a show on the cooking network
(19:04):
that I was like, maybe I'm supposed to go back
to school and become a chef or become some kind
of cooking show host. Nothing clicked for a long time.
And I'm sharing this with you because I look back
and I see what an identity crisis was going on,
(19:25):
and I want to liken it to the energies that
we're experiencing now. Whatever turmoil and chaos is either going
on within you and around you, get still and take
a look at it. It is so important not only
for this time and utilizing this equil clips energy wisely
to propel and accelerate you. But it's about your identity.
(19:49):
It's about old wounding that needs to be fleshed up
and fears you get not you have to you get
to face I mean suffering and fears and pain around
who you are and how you assert yourself. It's very
important to really know that Ari's energy is about the
(20:11):
will to exist. I want to live, I want to exist,
and I want to be who I am unapologetically. I
am reclaiming my authority, my agency, and my sovereignty. And
how do I instinctually express that. I encourage all of
you as a tool as a practice to listen back
(20:34):
to last week's podcast with Ali Fallon. We talk about
writing your story and that was all very purposely and
intentionally set up and could not have been more divine
that conversation and also timely because she gives a lot
of insights. She is a publishing coach and a writer.
(20:55):
She's also extremely wise, but she gives so many ernal
prompts about the hero's journey, summoning your inner sovereignty and
your agency, and she gives a lot of great insights
as to how to look at that using your journaling.
This is a great time to journal, It's always a
great time to journal. She also gives a great nugget
(21:17):
of wisdom around how four days of journaling in a
row for twenty minutes will impact to your mental health
for six months. So just listen back to it because
it's worth a listen just to give you a little
bit more hemph and clarity around some practical action you
can take around this eclipse. And there's a lot of
(21:39):
energy where the eclipse tracks. And I'm going to talk
about NASA, I'm going to talk about the Hadrian Collider
at CERN, and I'm going to talk about really something
that is very important to me, an astrological configuration that
I have probably not mentioned in the podcast. And I
will go deeper into this in the weeks ahead so
(21:59):
you can start digging in understanding your wounds and also
understanding maybe your direction forward a little better. But I'm
going to talk about Chiron. Chiron is an asteroid that's
like a comet. And the reason it's like a comet
it's like a hybrid. Okay. Chiron is this asteroid in
the sky that orbits typically between Saturn, the past, the formulations,
(22:24):
the formularies, the responsibilities of very masculine energy and urinous
the future, the revolutionary, the innovator. The reason it's like
a hybrid is because it has a tail like a comet,
but it's classified mostly as an asteroid, so it's like
a comet asteroid. And Chiron in mythology was half man,
(22:47):
half horse. He was a centaur. You can go back
and look into some Chiron mythology. He was a healer
amongst the centaurs, and there's a lot of interesting mythology
around what he did in that mythological story. And this
also goes back to the conversation that Ali and I
had about the hero's journey, which is totally Joseph Campbell,
(23:12):
follow your bliss. What is the evolution of your hero's journey?
This all relates to aries energy is your mighty. I
am being the hero of your own life, the main
character in your story. That makes me think of the
movie The Holiday, and I think of that conversation with
Kate Winslet and the older gentleman in there and he says, augh, you,
(23:35):
my friend, you are acting like the best friend. But
I can see you you're a leading lady, but you
are acting like the best friend in your life. And
she just says, Oh. I've been working with a therapist
for years. My therapist has never expressed this. This clearly
to me harshly but clearly. So I ask you, are
(23:57):
you the leading lady or gentleman or they? Are you
the leading they in your own life? Or are you
the best friend? What are you being in your life?
That's what this energy is about. So during this eclipse,
Chirn the wounded healer, that's what Chiron is called the asteroid.
(24:18):
It triggers our deepest, most unconscious karmic wounds. They come
up to the surface. Chirn is exactly conjunct the Sun
and the Moon to the minute at the time of
the eclipse. This is unprecedented opportunity for deep, subconscious, unconscious
(24:40):
karmic wounding. And if you don't understand or subscribe to
karma or past lives, throw that out the window and
think about childhood wounding conditioning. Just like me sharing with you,
A big part of the story that I have unwritten
is that my credentials dictate my worth or expertise or validation.
(25:01):
That's a lot of childhood stuff. It's also a lot
of karmix stuff for me, but also being the lead
character in my own life versus the best friend, the
supporting actor, actress. Think about that stuff. This is your
journal material. This is your opportunity to be in the
eye of the hurricane during the months ahead, but especially April.
(25:24):
And if you listened to the energy forecast that I
put out for April, with the numerology and the astrology,
I said, be okay with chaos. It's going to come.
Some of it's going to be yours, some of it's
going to be other people's stuff, some of it's going
to be on a geopolitical scale, on a world scale.
What can you control yourself? Your attitudes, actions, and behaviors.
(25:47):
And for me, what's been coming up is how can
I be easy whatever's coming at me? Can I relax
and surrender to it? Can I be easy? Can I
come at it with an open heart? Can I come
at it with a perspective of curiosity versus restriction or
limitation or stubbornness? Gosh, I can be stubborn. Even though
I don't think I'm stubborn. I'm totally stubborn sometimes because
(26:11):
I get stuck in my own rigidity or dogma, and
sometimes it eludes me right, it's really unconscious, and I
think I'm being flexible, but in actuality, I'm hanging on
tight to something I have experienced my own pain through
(26:31):
this eclipse season, and it's been very very personal. I
lost my dog Texts. He was almost seventeen years old
on Tuesday, which was just a handful of days ago.
We had to put him to sleep, and it was
a very difficult Easter weekend as his body declined. And
(26:52):
as you can imagine you all know, with loss and grief. Gosh,
I've been through this a lot over the past fourteen
months plus the last two years. This is the third
loss I have had that has been very intimate where
I've had to palliate or hospice someone that I love,
my mother, then my mother's dog a few months ago,
(27:13):
and now Texts, the absolute love of my life. And
it was painful, and it was beautiful, and there is
a piece and a release, and I saw where I
was being stubborn around it, you know, human attachment, even
though I know he was being set free and he
will be with me. He is with me, Lord, have mercy,
(27:34):
He's with me. He is an angel from another realm.
He came from the angelic realm to walk with me
and to guide me on this earth. And now he
gets to be a part of my troops on the
other side, and he is. But of course that's painful,
and you all know. So I'm in it. You all
have been in it in whatever ways you are experiencing it.
(27:56):
And again I can lay that out for you. Is
it your health? Is it your marriage or an interpersonal relationship.
Is it something with a child, is it something with
your job, money, fear around money and finances. Is it
physical safety? Is it a deep spiritual battle that you
(28:20):
have going on around faith and fear. A lot of
people feel punished. I've got a lot of punishment energy
come through with people. Why is God doing this to me?
You know? Makes me think of Jesus, my God, my God?
Why have thou forsaken me? You know? And then on
the converse side of that, I think of Christ consciousness
and Jesus and Jesus showing up in love. And that's
(28:41):
what this time is about. It's about embracing greater compassion,
deeper compassion, what is also called self forgetting. May I
fall down on my knees and pray for someone else
and be so selfless. And this is not about losing
your sovereignty or identity, but being so fundamentally secure You're
in yourself and your soul, your higher consciousness, that you
(29:05):
are here for ease, love and peace. One of the
things I want to say about chiron in aries, which
is where chiron is, and if you were born like
April one of nineteen sixty eight to March twenty eighth
of seventy seven, most likely your natal chiron is in Aries.
(29:25):
You have to look back at the table. I will
put that in the show notes because there's a couple
of time in that phase between sixty eight and seventy
seven where kirn ingresses back into Pisces and then Taurus,
but mostly chiron is in Aries. So this is impacting
you all greater if you have an Aries sun sign
(29:47):
Moon ascendant. Of course this is impacting you if you've
got Libra any of the cardinals signs, so Libra and Aries,
Cancer and Capricorn, we're getting kind of harsher like it,
kind of call to action energy. All of us are
experiencing this. You just may be experiencing greater turmoil, especially
(30:08):
for those of you out there who do have your
natal chiron in areas. But so I urge you to
take a look back at that, check your natal chart.
You know, I always encourage you to do that if
you haven't figured out your natal astrology. Whether you believe
in or understand a trustrology, it's a great tool to
activate memory, cellular memory, activate genetic enlightenment. There's a lot
(30:31):
of stuff's being activated in our genes right now, so
massive solar flares, stuff is happening in the cosmos. Do
you remember I said I would talk about NASA a
little bit. On the day of the eclipse, NASA is
launching three sounding rockets into the moon's shadow of the eclipse,
like it collides with the eclipse path and the shadow
(30:54):
of the eclipse. How is this significant? It's very curious.
There's also been rumors that and online it says no,
this is not happening. So I don't know what is
or isn't true. I'm just using my inner knowing in
my inner compass that this is all quite curious. Does
it scare me? No? But CERN, the Hadrian collider that
(31:15):
really works on you know, it's the organization, the European
Organization for Nuclear Research. They're talking about CERN activating the
collider on April eighth, and it says online, no, they're
not doing this. But there's been a lot of speculation
around it, but for NASA being launching three rockets into
the pathway of the eclipse, the talk about CERN activating
(31:37):
the collider. This stuff is very interesting, and if you
look back at the astrology of nine to eleven many
wars or significant events in history, there's always very curious energy.
A lot of times, Aris, which is the god of war,
ares fight violence. There's a lot of energy right now
(32:02):
that is signifying fear and chaos and really asking us
to fight. But it's not about blood baths so much
as it is the deeper and the higher frequency of this,
the fifth dimensional energy that we are calling in that
is of the heart of love. The path of love
(32:22):
is activating our sovereignty, our ability to manifest, to co create,
and to really create a higher, brighter future. We are
all players in this big chess game, and where our
power is, our sovereignty is it's within And as schmaltzy
or as cheesy as I may sound right now, it's
(32:43):
very serious to me. So I know whatever personal dramas
or pains or fears that I am grappling with, my
job right now is to summon the courage to face
those and courage is not the absence of fear. It's
the healthy alchemizing of fear. You know. I think it's
(33:06):
really interesting when we talk about Ari's energy, because Ari's
energy really asks us to act on instinct, which is
usually it comes from this healthy fear, It comes from desire,
it comes from a place of knowing. So that's why
I'm saying, get in touch with your instinctual self and
(33:28):
really seeing where you can be the maverick, the Maverick
of your life. And what the heck is a maverick.
A maverick is unorthodox. It's an independent minded thinker. And
I'm not talking about shutting yourself off, not collaborating, but
listening to the still small voice within, which is not
(33:51):
a small voice, which is your higher voice, your higher self.
That's what chiron in Aries asks us to do, disk
us to really grow in understanding with our deepest, most
hidden traumas, pains and fears, especially the ones affecting or
afflicting our assertion of self in a higher way. And
(34:15):
the higher way is love, inclusion, compassion. How can we
be warriors of the light versus entrapped by our own fear.
It's about self acceptance, progress through individual action in concert
(34:36):
with societal needs. And this is about being the extraordinary,
not the ordinary. This is such a powerful time and
strange things are happening. There is going to be chaos
in the months ahead, things that are unfathomable, earth shattering.
There may be things in the geomagnetics. We may have
(34:56):
some earth stuff that happens, eruption and storms, stuff with
the weather, things like that. We also may have things again,
like I said, on the world stage, with politics, of course,
the United States is going through a tremendous amount of turmoil.
And if you look at the pathway of the eclipse,
(35:19):
it goes right over the Texas Mexico border. If you
know anything about Texas politics, Texas has been talking about
succeeding and becoming its own country. It has that written
into the Declaration of independence. There's a whole clause in
there for that. Those talks are going on in the government.
It's very interesting. And I'll put a link to NASA's
(35:41):
pathway of the eclipse, which actually goes right over my
house in Wimberley, Texas. It goes over San Antonio and Austin,
through Dallas, then up into Arkansas and beyond. You can
look at the path of where the eclipse tracks. But
it's very significant, and it is not the first clips
that has tracked over this area in a very short
(36:03):
period of time. So this is kind of like the
third and final like wave of change. It'll be interesting
to see what unfolds. I do encourage you, as another
practice to turn the television off. I don't mean don't
be informed about what's going on, but use your own
instincts and be really mindful of the news or the
(36:27):
inciting fear stuff that comes up. You know, if you
think about during a hurricane or like the pandemic, how
all of a sudden there's no toilet paper on the
shelves at the grocery store, where it's like, all of
a sudden people freak out, which it's a human thing,
it's fear, but it's like this reactive energy where people
are out for themselves. All of a sudden, people lose
(36:51):
their steadiness, their logic, their practicality, their inclusion, and it's
all out for themselves. That's the fear that's being incited.
But it's like, how can we rise up, How can
we begin to shift our frequency into being safe, being prepared,
being aware, but not falling into mass chaos, and a
(37:15):
lot of people say this, and I think it's a
great rule of thumb is whatever the masses are doing,
notice that pay attention to that, but also say what
am I doing? What feels right to me, what instinctually
is coming up for me? What do I need to
know rather than defaulting into chaos? And there will be
(37:35):
some chaos in the months ahead, and I don't know
how that's going to play out. I have feelings and
thoughts about it. I see a lot of parallels. I
see it in clients and people I talk to, people
that are very close in my inner circle, that are
very aware consciously and very psychic and intuitive yet grounded, functional,
(37:56):
practical humans. We are experiencing lots of shake up and
shake down. That's why I am having it's very strategically
aligned my event in Austin, Texas on May seventh, because
it has an astrological and numerological correlation that actually will
(38:17):
take us from this chaotic state in April to really
get clear. And for those people who attend, it's the
people who I know and the people who can attend, right,
not everybody can attend, but I know that that group
of people because I have seen them are people who
are saying, where do I reclaim my sovereignty? And how
do I do it from a higher state of consciousness
(38:39):
to manifest the extraordinary in the everyday, in the ordinary.
Where can I find the sacred in the profane? Where
can I find the light in the darkness? And sometimes
the light is just a match, But where does that?
Like what you know starts a fire, one spark, and
we're all sparks. How do we ignite our inner fire,
(39:00):
inner sovereignty, our sense of agency, staying true to yourself
and knowing you're worth and value whatever you are walking through.
I'll throw some more dates out just to if you
want to correlate some points. So as mercury retrogrades this
whole month, and just remember with mercury retrograde, mercury does
rule technology. So there are technological glitches, miscommunications, people canceling stuff.
(39:24):
We were also were in a three month in numerology
where it's just lots of stuff happening and we're having
to change our schedules and go back and forth and
reorganize multiple times a day. I've experienced that, and I
just keep saying, Okay, I'm being flexible. I'm being easy.
What can I shift? What can I rearrange? If I
can't do it, let me just own up to it
and say, hey, I can't fit this in today, this
(39:45):
is too much for me, But we can do it
this other date, and not getting upset that somebody's going
to be mad at me or not like me, you know,
like really coming back to I'm one person. I can
only do so much. Let me honor that and then
let me show up as best I can to be
fully present of service and from this place of easiness
and love, so I can come from a place that's
(40:07):
not only precipitating ease, love, kindness, compassion, whatever it is,
but also feel and experience that for myself versus taking
on what may be too much for me or is
not my responsibility to take on. So the dates I
was going to throw out are mercury is retrograding, and
I was talking about Chiron and it conjuncting at the
exact moment of the eclipse at nineteen I can't remember
(40:30):
the minutes, whatever degrees of ares it is right there
with the eclipse. I mean, this is major in astrology,
but mercury retrogrades it touches that same point three times
and you hear that number three. It's a three month
in numerology, like the three, the three creativity connection communication.
(40:51):
You're yes meaning yes and you're no meaning no. It's
very emotional in moody mood swings. There's lots of energy
to the three, but the three is a number of creation, creativity, creative,
self expression, curiosity, seeing things from a different perspective, a
different lens. What downloads or insights are you getting that
are illuminating you? And even if it's looking at some
(41:11):
harsh darkness within yourself, it's like giving you the information
you need in order to heal. And your question is
do I want to heal? If you're out there and
you're saying I want to heal, hallelujah, yes. If you're
not there, say am I willing to heal this? Or
can I be open or ready to heal this? Can
I be willing to be willing? That's another question. You know,
(41:34):
if you're in a difficult marriage or relationship and you've
been in it too long and you know it deep down,
but you still want that person to be better, to
do better, to say I'm sorry, to show up differently,
you know, and they just aren't doing it. Gosh, so
many of us have been there, right, and it becomes
this deep, inner, personal and personal battle of where do
(41:55):
you bust up your patterns and routines, where do you
put your foot down? Where do you stand up for
yourself and not against the other person. I'm quoting my
friend Gwenn on that one because I think it's marvelous.
How do I stand up for myself and not against
the other person, even if it's painful, even if it
means setting a boundary or making a big decision. This
is the time of big, bold decisions and not knee jerk,
(42:17):
more instinctual yet with knowing. So Mercury when it was
moving direct on March twentieth, go back to March twentieth
on your calendar, see what you were doing. Mercury crossed
over Chiron for the first time. It will retrograde back
over Chiron the seventeenth eighteenth of April. Pay attention on
(42:37):
those days. What end can you correlate it back to
March twentieth? Can you see any data points that kind
of correlate for you? And then it will on a
last and final time when it is moving direct again,
so we get direct retrograde direct. That's how a lot
of times the astrology is when we have retrograde periods.
(42:57):
So Mercury passes over Chiron conjuncts with Chiron. Is at
the exact same point it was on March twentieth, It
is on April seventeenth and eighteenth, and then it will
be again on May sixth, which, by the way, my
event is on May seventh, on the Taurus New moon,
the big manifesting new moon, the house solidifying grounding in
new moon, and Mercury will be conjunct Chiron on that
(43:23):
third final illuminating pass because we've got Mercury the mind,
the working mind, and chirn the deep inner wounds coming
up ready for their final push of healing. So pay
attention to those dates. Put them down on your calendar.
I would I do, already did. They're in my calendar,
and I've looked back and I don't know what's coming
(43:44):
on the sixteenth or seventeenth, but I know there'll be
a point of clarity or really because Mercury is retrograde, revising,
reviewing something, rethinking something, refill in the blank, rewriting. Part
of my story, my empower I meant, my disempowerment, my wounds.
How am I going to do something differently than I
did in two thousand and five? I can draw correlations.
(44:08):
They are all over the place. I shared some of
them with you, and I've rewritten a lot of that.
But I still have old wounds that say, if I
don't do this, then you're not gonna believe me, or
I'm not enough, or maybe I'm an impostor. And I
know in my soul I'm not an impostor. I know
who I am and what I believe and my love
and my heart. But I can easily slip into that
(44:29):
place of disempowerment and fear. And I guess this is
important too, because it's coming through. When I am in
a place of total fear or helplessness and hopelessness, who
do I ask for help? I certainly call on my soul,
my guides, my higher power, the creator of the universe.
(44:51):
I certainly know how to implore that. So there is hope,
there is faith, There is divine guidance, intelligence and higher
energy coming through. I call those troops in. But who
are my human resources? Who do I turn to in
times where I know I can't do something by myself.
(45:12):
I need someone else to hold space for me, and
I have learned how to do that, especially through these deaths.
It's like been in my face, Amanda. You don't have
to do this alone. You can ask for help, or
you can ask if somebody has time to talk to you.
And every time I do that, especially like with my
dog Texts and I just want to give a shout
(45:33):
out to in closing this and I'll wrap it all
up for everybody. But you know, things are personal for me,
and I think that I know how personal everything is
for you all right now, whatever you are walking through.
So I hope this helps. But with what was going
on with Texts in the last few days of his
life and the last few days of our seventeen year
(45:55):
journey together, he crossed over on a Tuesday morning. On Monday,
I talked to two of my sisters and they both
held the sweet space and the loving space for me
because they knew how significant this was, They knew how
personal it was, they knew they knew me, they knew him,
they knew my relationship with him, how significant it was
(46:19):
in my life, and they held like unconditional gentle space
for me. They were concerned for me, but they were
there for me. You know, my family was there for me.
So friends have been there for me, so many people,
right I just you know, as much as I want
to say I got this, I'm okay. I need people.
So I was able to call on them. But on
the morning where I was in my deepest fear and
(46:43):
that place of stubbornness that I was talking about on
Tuesday morning, in that moment, it was early, It was
seven am, and I was stubborn and determined that Text
the vet was going to come to the house and
Text was going to die at home. I didn't want
to have to move him. I didn't want it to
be traumatic. And I had already called the vet. I
(47:04):
had already made the decision that we were bringing him in.
I had asserted that because he didn't need to be
in any pain or struggle, and it needed to be
it needed to happen that morning, and it could not wait.
And I was furious in my heart that he couldn't
die at home, because in my stubborn self will I
(47:24):
was like, he has to die at home, and yet
I didn't want him to be in any pain or discomfort,
and we had him medicated, but still it was just
a lot of pain and discomfort for me. And it
was early in the morning, and I thought, oh, my gosh,
I can't do this by myself. And my husband had
gone out of the house to walk the other dog.
So I was like, I had just a moment, and
(47:45):
I was like, who do I call? Who do I
ask for help in my darkest hour? And I called
my oldest sister Sally, and gosh, you know, like I
called her in my messiness, my fear and my rage
because I was angry. You know, if she said the
wisest thing to me, because she always does in those moments,
(48:05):
it's her gift. Her gift is is really wisdom in
the midst of chaos or trauma, which is what I'm
talking about here, that archetype of clarity, grounding and truth,
that eye of the storm. That's what she was for
me in that moment. And she said, Amanda, you are
Texas home. Wherever you are, you are his home, meaning
(48:31):
wherever he goes, wherever he dies, as long as you
are with him, you are his home. And in that moment,
there was like an ecstatic release and relief of the
suffering and the fear and the stubbornness to know we
were each other's home. Home is where the freaking heart is.
(48:54):
Home is where the heart is small sye as it is.
That's what I was forgetting, and I needed someone else
to be the eye of the storm for me. Who
can you call on? And I want you to remember
this in the months of ahead, when you were in struggling,
when you were messy, Who can be your eye in
the storm besides yourself? Who are you instinctually calling on
(49:17):
to let in to your pain or your struggle? Allow
someone else to be wise for you when you can't
summon the wisdom within. We need each other. And I
will say this in closing with that, and I've shared
this with many clients because I learned it for myself
years ago. Was it's a privilege to invite people into
(49:42):
our chaos or our trauma or our suffering. Meaning when
I invited her in to hold that space for me
and hold me up over the phone, she just said,
I'm so glad you called me and you let me
love on you, you let me be here for you. I
am wickedly stubborn and self reliant, and in that moment
(50:05):
I knew that's who I needed to call. But it
was not just about me. It was about me allowing
her in, which is the privilege of connection. So think
about connection. As you get connected with yourself, you become
aware of the chaos around you and where you find
your clarity within yourself, within your higher consciousness, but also
(50:30):
with the human consciousness available to you, because we do
need each other. Okay, friends, here's to an eclipse that
will trigger a six month and beyond cycle. Navigate this
mercury retrograde as best you can. There will be more
to come in the episode coming up this week. But
(50:52):
think about what correlations you can draw, Maybe back to
two thousand and five, maybe, like I said, back to
March twentieth or March twenty fifth, the lunar eclipse, whatever
resonates for you, extrapolate your data so you can become
clear and you find your inner sanctuary, your inner stillness.
(51:14):
Be the eye of the storm, because that light is needed.
And for those of you who find yourself right now
in a place of peace and ease and steadiness and knowing,
please be meant to all of us. Let's do this together.
And if you find the eye of the storm if
it comes up for you at any point over the
(51:36):
course of April or into May, when you have that
ecstatic release, that clarity, that is the peace that passes
all understanding. My sister also, Sally, reminded me of that,
the peace that passes all understanding. Not only embrace it
and let it wash over you like grace and mercy,
(51:57):
grace being that gift that we don't just mercy being
withholding from us until we get it. Remember basking that
and then maybe if you can beam it out into
the world. Your signals are bright, and remember, like you know,
just this little bit of a spark can start a
whole fire. Be well, everyone,
Hi, everyone, It's Amanda Rieger Green. Welcome to a special
Soul Sessions episode. We are full on in Mercury Retrograde
and a clip season with other big astrological events happening
as we speak. I have mentioned this to you before,
but I am being as emphatic as I can in
(00:30):
telling you that April is a game changing kind of month.
It is complex, it is chaotic, it is confusing. As
best you can do, not get involved in the drama.
You're going to experience drama, interpersonal discord, fear, turbulence. It's natural.
(00:55):
If you weren't experiencing that, you might not be as
awake as you could be. And if you aren't experiencing that,
by the way, if you are so happy, joyous, free, calm,
cool and collected right now and nothing is bothering you,
good on. You stay in that space as best you can,
(01:17):
and I would encourage you to actually beam that light
to all of us out there, to the people you
know that may be in stress or duress, friends, colleagues,
family that you know are struggling. If you are experiencing winds, breakthroughs, ease,
take that beautiful frequency that you are holding and grounding
(01:40):
in and see if you can radiate it out to others.
You know how, I say, care bear stare care bear
stare that energy out when you feel it or think
about it, because we need it. We all need it.
But most of us, in many forms are experiencing suffering, pain,
deep rooted fears coming up, external chaos, internal chaos. And
(02:04):
I welcome it do I love walking through it? Not necessarily,
but I welcome it as a significant shift because we've
felt it building and it is here. I'm going to
break down the solar eclipse in Aries on May eighth,
I mean, excuse me, April eighth. See, there's mercury retrograde
(02:25):
flubbing up my dates, So excuse me if I am
a little choppy in dates and times, because there's a
lot of significant dates, times and energies I want you
to pay attention to. So I will correct myself and
be as accurate as possible here. But we've got Mercury,
which retrograded on April first, April Fools Day, a powerful,
(02:45):
powerful total solar eclipse in Aries on April eighth, and
then we have Jupiter conjunct Urinus on April twentieth, and
Mercury stations to turn back direct on April twenty fifth.
That's a lot of energy. So basically, mercury is retrograde
the whole month. Anytime mercury is retrograde, mercury governs the mind.
(03:11):
So it is about thoughts, communication, how we express ourselves,
how we listen, how we don't listen the voice that
we are listening to. It's kind of like which wolf
are you feeding this month? Are you feeding the fear wolf?
Are you feeding the love wolf? That is really a
great barometer or litmus test for the month. Which wolf
(03:32):
am I feeding? In this scenario? Am I coming from
a place of fear and exclusion or resistance? Or am
I coming from a place of openness, ease and love?
And truly I have taken that temperature on myself. I
don't know how many times in the last handful of days,
really weeks. Because I want you all to take a
(03:54):
moment and think back to March twenty fifth, when we
experienced the lee Ra full moon eclipse. Full moon eclipses,
by the way, they're emotional, and sometimes they are way
harder than solar eclipses because they bring stuff up from
the unconscious. They bring things up for us to reconcile
(04:18):
that we may not even realize exist, or we may
not know we're ready to confront, and it can be
jarring and harsh and painful. And in Libra, the opposite
of arees libra is about relationship balance, harmony, collaboration, or
the opposite of that disharmony, disease, imbalance, lack of collaboration. So,
(04:43):
of course relationships have been discombobulated or given us opportunities
to reassess what is our point of view, what is
our stance, and what boundaries may need to be reset
or what we need need to communicate That arees polarity.
When there's a full moon, you've got the sun and
(05:05):
Ares and the moon and libra aries being the individual
and the I am. What do I need? What do
I want? What do I desire? And how do I
courageously which means moving through fear, communicate that or assert
myself or take instinctual action? And instinct is probably the
most imperative word I might send out to you this
(05:28):
month is how do I act on my instincts? Yes,
there's an element of intuition, but instinctual action comes from
just do it energy. You know some in your Nike
just do it? What do I just get up and do?
How do I act on instinct? And I'm not talking
about reaction from a place of fear, pure instinct, which
(05:49):
is prana life force energy. So think back by the way,
just to that time. What has come up for you
between March twenty fifth ish till now this eclipse. That
is really important stuff for you to investigate as we
move into this eclipse and around this eclipse. What is
coming up for you to confront, to look at, what
(06:10):
fears are coming up, What insecurities are coming up. What
have you not been wanting to confront or face. What
have you been forced to confront or face? Anything that
is coming up for you around that, Take note of
it for sure. With this retrograde and the eclipse, and
they're both in arees. Mercury is retrograding in aries, so
(06:31):
it is really bringing up energy from the subconscious up
into the conscious mind. Mercury represents our thinking, our conscious mind.
Sometimes we do things, we act without thinking, and that's
a little bit of that arias energy, which we need.
It is part of our psyche, it's part of our physical,
tangible human experience. Instinct vitality. Those things are imperative now
(06:58):
with this eclipse. Pips one of the things that I
want you to think about. And it's funny. I woke
up this morning with this urgency or desire and this
was instinctual, right, not intuitive, It was really instinctual. I
mean right when I woke up this morning. This is
the way my brain works. By the way, sometimes brain
and consciousness alike, higher consciousness truly in tandem with my
(07:21):
thinking mind. But this was instinctual. This morning. I woke
up and I thought, I need to look back at
the last time there was a solar eclipse in aries,
and I need to figure out what was going on
in my life. Then, so I go to look back.
Interestingly enough, it was on April eighth. That's when this
eclipse is April eighth, Right? Is there not a synchronicity there?
(07:43):
Like that kind of blew my mind to start with.
It was April eighth of two thousand and five, and
it was in nineteen degrees of aries. This eclipse is
on Monday, April eighth, twenty twenty four, in nineteen degrees
of aries. We are at a pivotal point. And you
know how many synchronicities are coming for you all in
(08:05):
a multitude of ways, whether it's the numerology and the
number codes, or it's animal medicine and energy or signs,
or your telepathy being heightened, dreams, correlations, deja vu, lots
of deja vu, and timeline shifts for people. Strange occurrences,
strange things, Stranger things are happening right. They're only gonna
(08:28):
happen more frequently and rapidly as the year progresses, because
this eclipse is like a punctuation mark that basically is
like a fire starter for the remainder of this year
and into twenty twenty five. You know what I say
sometimes about the energy or the numerology of the eight,
(08:49):
it's like we've gotten on the roller coaster or the
ride at the theme park and they've already put the
safety down and they've hit start or they've pulled the
lever and it is about to wrap accelerate, And I've
told you quantum leap kind of energy, and that's Jupiter
conjunct uranus. We're already in that conjunction, even though the
conjunction is exact on the twentieth, which really signifies a
(09:12):
leap in consciousness, a leap in technology, moving innovatively rapidly
at an accelerated rate towards the future. That is happening.
But during this eclipse, what is very curious is there
are all these significant astrological configurations that are happening. I'm
(09:34):
going to break that down a little bit and dive deeper,
but I want you to think back to April ish
of two thousand and five, and you may not remember
exactly what was going on in April. I happen to
remember that. Of course, once I saw that everything started
flooding in it was a very significant time for me personally.
(09:54):
I graduated graduate school in Boston. I lived in Boston,
and I don't know if many you know this, but
I have a Master of Public Health and right after college,
I went to Boston University and got my Master of
Public Health in health law, bioethics, and human rights. And
then also because of the over achiever that I've been
(10:17):
healing in certain ways, where a lot of that over
achiever for me is if I have a degree, if
I have the credentials, then I am worthy or valuable.
And that's an old story for me. It's hardwired in
my family it's hardwired in my genetics and DNA, my drive.
But this perception of if I have the credentials, then
I have some sort of knowledge or expertise, and I
(10:41):
am enough, I am worthy, I am valuable. I adored
that degree and it was very synchronistic and aligned. However,
in April, just before I graduated in May, I was
interviewing for jobs. And this is right around the time
of the eclipse, mind you, and looking back, I know
the significance of this, and I'm just breaking it down
to give you some examples, because it triggered a cycle
(11:05):
of massive upheaval and change for me, and it was
extremely disempowering. I couldn't have known it would be disempowering
at the time, but the choice I made triggered a
lot of fear and a lot of fear around my
identity arees. So think about it. I had been in
school most of my life, from elementary school, preschool up
(11:27):
until college and graduate school. So I was no longer
going to be a student in the academic realm. I
was going to have to go out into the world
and work, have a job, have a career. So making
that shift right that leap in my early twenties. But
I had been interviewing for jobs and I had a
job with the State of Massachusetts working in their insurance Commission.
(11:50):
I had a job offer, and I would be crunching
numbers and doing things that quite frankly, when I look
at it today, and I know what I've felt in
my heart. First of all, it felt really boring to me.
You all know a lot of me and my heart.
I'm a connector, I'm a people person, you know. I
ended up in business development, organizational and people development, in
(12:12):
strategy with people and igniting and inspiring people's talents and
putting them in the right places and giving them the
right resources. I mean that flows out of me. That's
in my heart. But I would have been in this job,
which was a great stepping stone, and I would have
been crunching numbers, doing kind of actuarial stuff, which is
really not my forte. And you all know I love
(12:34):
numbers and numerology, but I am not a statistician, a mathematician.
While I had a lot of training in that in
my public health degree, like with statistics and epidemiology and
all of that stuff, it was not where I was
lit up. I was lit up in health law and
bioethics and human rights and things that really advocated my
humanitarian side but also my creativity. So I had this
(12:56):
job offer and it was like, I'm laughing. Some of
you know this this personal story. I've used it before,
but I don't think i've shared it on the podcast.
I had a job offer and they were going to
pay me like thirty six thousand dollars. I had a
job offer and they were going to pay me like
(13:17):
thirty six thousand dollars. Okay, mind you, I'm living in Boston,
super expensive. I am just graduating grad school, so I
had student loans and I was working in Ann Taylor
at Ann Taylor all throughout graduate school. And in order
to stay in Boston and do that job, I would
(13:39):
have had to also work at Ann Taylor while working
a full time job for the government for the state
of Massachusetts. There was no way to actually, like live
in Boston pay my bills on that salary. I would
have to have two jobs, and I don't I couldn't
have done it mentally or even maybe physically. Maybe I
could have, but it just didn't fit and it didn't
(14:02):
seem right. However, there was a very clear path that
was starting to be laid out for me in health care,
health care reform, just being aligned and meeting with people
in political positions, which is what I thought I wanted
to do, health care policy, those sorts of things. But
I remember thinking this is not sustainable. I can't afford this,
(14:24):
and also this job is not worth the risk because
I'm not excited about the job. I don't know that
this is what I want to be when I grow up.
I don't even know if I really am capable of
doing the job they're offering me, you know, like mentally,
like am I am an impostor They're offering me this job,
but I don't really know if I can compute and
(14:46):
calculate and do what they want me to do. So anyway,
I made a decision between then and my graduation to
move back to Texas, and I moved back in at
twenty some odd years old. I would be I turned
twenty five that year, so I was twenty four at
the time to move back to Texas to Austin, Texas
(15:06):
and move in with my mother. I had not lived
with my mom since I graduated high school because I
had gone away to college and then I went away
to graduate school, but I made the decision to come
back to Texas and move in with my mother, and
that triggered a whole other series of events, and it
opened up a story, a journey for me that was
(15:29):
interesting and dynamic and messy and confusing. But when I
came back to Texas, and here is the disempowering part.
When I came back to Texas, and remember this is
two thousand and five, literally where I had been in Massachusetts,
it was so active politically active around healthcare, public health,
(15:50):
healthcare reform. And my degree was really respected. Okay, I
had a Master of Public Health from Boston University. And
all of these things are in iordant to me. Right,
you recognize me, You see how important I am or
how smart I am, or look at my degree. I mean,
I am showing you all my misconceptions of self, of identity,
(16:12):
my worth to being defined by credentials or achievements in
order to show my stature or my capability. And then
here I'm telling you they're offering me a job and
I don't even think I can do it or I
don't want to do it. So I have all this
internal strife and conflict, but I made this decision to
move back to Texas. I moved back to Texas and
(16:33):
over the course of the next six months, really actually
it was almost a year, because it would not be
until March of two thousand and six that I took
a job, and I took a job in Houston, Texas.
It took me that long to find a job in
my field area of expertise that seemed like a fit
(16:54):
at the time, and it was a big divine setup.
I moved back to Austin. I went to work at
Ann Taylor in Austin, and I was putting out resumes,
I was making contacts, I was networking, and almost everyone
I met did not recognize my degree. What is a
Master of Public Health? Like, what are you really qualified
to do? Oh, you're overqualified, you can't do this job.
(17:16):
I mean, I was looking in the hospital systems because
I was trained as a bioethicist. I could have been
a bioethicist, and I was just running up against either
your over credentialed or we don't think you're credentialed at
all to do this. And it went on for months
and even to the extent of very personal interactions where
(17:37):
I felt very dismissed or unimportant, or unintelligent, or being
put in my place. There was a lot of disheartening
stuff and disparaging things that happened to me personally that
I took very personally, by the way, because my ego
was being shattered, my sense of identity was being shattered,
and I really was lost for months. And what I
(17:59):
found my solace in, where I found my happiest self
was my mom was a nurse and I was living
with her, and we had lots of friends in the neighborhood.
Shout out to Onion Creek if you know, you know
my Onion Creek crew. But like in the evening, I
would prepare dinner for everybody, Like I would be in
the kitchen. I'm really good with salad dressings. That's my jam.
(18:20):
My dad made salad dressings. We never had a bottled
salad dressing in our refrigerator. He made salad dressings from scratch,
sauces from scratch, and I love to do that. I'd
do that to this day, and it also brings me
a lot of joy. So I would cook for everyone,
and like they'd come home and I would entertain you know,
everybody would come from work, they'd have their cocktails. I
(18:42):
would make like specialty cocktails for everybody. You know, this
is another lifetime of mine. Ago. I don't make specialty
cocktails anymore, but I sure do make a heck of
a homemade salad dressing just and I can whip it
up from anything in anybody's kitchen. But anyway, I literally
am like curating meals and stuff to the point where
I thought I wanted a show on the cooking network
(19:04):
that I was like, maybe I'm supposed to go back
to school and become a chef or become some kind
of cooking show host. Nothing clicked for a long time.
And I'm sharing this with you because I look back
and I see what an identity crisis was going on,
(19:25):
and I want to liken it to the energies that
we're experiencing now. Whatever turmoil and chaos is either going
on within you and around you, get still and take
a look at it. It is so important not only
for this time and utilizing this equil clips energy wisely
to propel and accelerate you. But it's about your identity.
(19:49):
It's about old wounding that needs to be fleshed up
and fears you get not you have to you get
to face I mean suffering and fears and pain around
who you are and how you assert yourself. It's very
important to really know that Ari's energy is about the
(20:11):
will to exist. I want to live, I want to exist,
and I want to be who I am unapologetically. I
am reclaiming my authority, my agency, and my sovereignty. And
how do I instinctually express that. I encourage all of
you as a tool as a practice to listen back
(20:34):
to last week's podcast with Ali Fallon. We talk about
writing your story and that was all very purposely and
intentionally set up and could not have been more divine
that conversation and also timely because she gives a lot
of insights. She is a publishing coach and a writer.
(20:55):
She's also extremely wise, but she gives so many ernal
prompts about the hero's journey, summoning your inner sovereignty and
your agency, and she gives a lot of great insights
as to how to look at that using your journaling.
This is a great time to journal, It's always a
great time to journal. She also gives a great nugget
(21:17):
of wisdom around how four days of journaling in a
row for twenty minutes will impact to your mental health
for six months. So just listen back to it because
it's worth a listen just to give you a little
bit more hemph and clarity around some practical action you
can take around this eclipse. And there's a lot of
(21:39):
energy where the eclipse tracks. And I'm going to talk
about NASA, I'm going to talk about the Hadrian Collider
at CERN, and I'm going to talk about really something
that is very important to me, an astrological configuration that
I have probably not mentioned in the podcast. And I
will go deeper into this in the weeks ahead so
(21:59):
you can start digging in understanding your wounds and also
understanding maybe your direction forward a little better. But I'm
going to talk about Chiron. Chiron is an asteroid that's
like a comet. And the reason it's like a comet
it's like a hybrid. Okay. Chiron is this asteroid in
the sky that orbits typically between Saturn, the past, the formulations,
(22:24):
the formularies, the responsibilities of very masculine energy and urinous
the future, the revolutionary, the innovator. The reason it's like
a hybrid is because it has a tail like a comet,
but it's classified mostly as an asteroid, so it's like
a comet asteroid. And Chiron in mythology was half man,
(22:47):
half horse. He was a centaur. You can go back
and look into some Chiron mythology. He was a healer
amongst the centaurs, and there's a lot of interesting mythology
around what he did in that mythological story. And this
also goes back to the conversation that Ali and I
had about the hero's journey, which is totally Joseph Campbell,
(23:12):
follow your bliss. What is the evolution of your hero's journey?
This all relates to aries energy is your mighty. I
am being the hero of your own life, the main
character in your story. That makes me think of the
movie The Holiday, and I think of that conversation with
Kate Winslet and the older gentleman in there and he says, augh, you,
(23:35):
my friend, you are acting like the best friend. But
I can see you you're a leading lady, but you
are acting like the best friend in your life. And
she just says, Oh. I've been working with a therapist
for years. My therapist has never expressed this. This clearly
to me harshly but clearly. So I ask you, are
(23:57):
you the leading lady or gentleman or they? Are you
the leading they in your own life? Or are you
the best friend? What are you being in your life?
That's what this energy is about. So during this eclipse,
Chirn the wounded healer, that's what Chiron is called the asteroid.
(24:18):
It triggers our deepest, most unconscious karmic wounds. They come
up to the surface. Chirn is exactly conjunct the Sun
and the Moon to the minute at the time of
the eclipse. This is unprecedented opportunity for deep, subconscious, unconscious
(24:40):
karmic wounding. And if you don't understand or subscribe to
karma or past lives, throw that out the window and
think about childhood wounding conditioning. Just like me sharing with you,
A big part of the story that I have unwritten
is that my credentials dictate my worth or expertise or validation.
(25:01):
That's a lot of childhood stuff. It's also a lot
of karmix stuff for me, but also being the lead
character in my own life versus the best friend, the
supporting actor, actress. Think about that stuff. This is your
journal material. This is your opportunity to be in the
eye of the hurricane during the months ahead, but especially April.
(25:24):
And if you listened to the energy forecast that I
put out for April, with the numerology and the astrology,
I said, be okay with chaos. It's going to come.
Some of it's going to be yours, some of it's
going to be other people's stuff, some of it's going
to be on a geopolitical scale, on a world scale.
What can you control yourself? Your attitudes, actions, and behaviors.
(25:47):
And for me, what's been coming up is how can
I be easy whatever's coming at me? Can I relax
and surrender to it? Can I be easy? Can I
come at it with an open heart? Can I come
at it with a perspective of curiosity versus restriction or
limitation or stubbornness? Gosh, I can be stubborn. Even though
I don't think I'm stubborn. I'm totally stubborn sometimes because
(26:11):
I get stuck in my own rigidity or dogma, and
sometimes it eludes me right, it's really unconscious, and I
think I'm being flexible, but in actuality, I'm hanging on
tight to something I have experienced my own pain through
(26:31):
this eclipse season, and it's been very very personal. I
lost my dog Texts. He was almost seventeen years old
on Tuesday, which was just a handful of days ago.
We had to put him to sleep, and it was
a very difficult Easter weekend as his body declined. And
(26:52):
as you can imagine you all know, with loss and grief. Gosh,
I've been through this a lot over the past fourteen
months plus the last two years. This is the third
loss I have had that has been very intimate where
I've had to palliate or hospice someone that I love,
my mother, then my mother's dog a few months ago,
(27:13):
and now Texts, the absolute love of my life. And
it was painful, and it was beautiful, and there is
a piece and a release, and I saw where I
was being stubborn around it, you know, human attachment, even
though I know he was being set free and he
will be with me. He is with me, Lord, have mercy,
(27:34):
He's with me. He is an angel from another realm.
He came from the angelic realm to walk with me
and to guide me on this earth. And now he
gets to be a part of my troops on the
other side, and he is. But of course that's painful,
and you all know. So I'm in it. You all
have been in it in whatever ways you are experiencing it.
(27:56):
And again I can lay that out for you. Is
it your health? Is it your marriage or an interpersonal relationship.
Is it something with a child, is it something with
your job, money, fear around money and finances. Is it
physical safety? Is it a deep spiritual battle that you
(28:20):
have going on around faith and fear. A lot of
people feel punished. I've got a lot of punishment energy
come through with people. Why is God doing this to me?
You know? Makes me think of Jesus, my God, my God?
Why have thou forsaken me? You know? And then on
the converse side of that, I think of Christ consciousness
and Jesus and Jesus showing up in love. And that's
(28:41):
what this time is about. It's about embracing greater compassion,
deeper compassion, what is also called self forgetting. May I
fall down on my knees and pray for someone else
and be so selfless. And this is not about losing
your sovereignty or identity, but being so fundamentally secure You're
in yourself and your soul, your higher consciousness, that you
(29:05):
are here for ease, love and peace. One of the
things I want to say about chiron in aries, which
is where chiron is, and if you were born like
April one of nineteen sixty eight to March twenty eighth
of seventy seven, most likely your natal chiron is in Aries.
(29:25):
You have to look back at the table. I will
put that in the show notes because there's a couple
of time in that phase between sixty eight and seventy
seven where kirn ingresses back into Pisces and then Taurus,
but mostly chiron is in Aries. So this is impacting
you all greater if you have an Aries sun sign
(29:47):
Moon ascendant. Of course this is impacting you if you've
got Libra any of the cardinals signs, so Libra and Aries,
Cancer and Capricorn, we're getting kind of harsher like it,
kind of call to action energy. All of us are
experiencing this. You just may be experiencing greater turmoil, especially
(30:08):
for those of you out there who do have your
natal chiron in areas. But so I urge you to
take a look back at that, check your natal chart.
You know, I always encourage you to do that if
you haven't figured out your natal astrology. Whether you believe
in or understand a trustrology, it's a great tool to
activate memory, cellular memory, activate genetic enlightenment. There's a lot
(30:31):
of stuff's being activated in our genes right now, so
massive solar flares, stuff is happening in the cosmos. Do
you remember I said I would talk about NASA a
little bit. On the day of the eclipse, NASA is
launching three sounding rockets into the moon's shadow of the eclipse,
like it collides with the eclipse path and the shadow
(30:54):
of the eclipse. How is this significant? It's very curious.
There's also been rumors that and online it says no,
this is not happening. So I don't know what is
or isn't true. I'm just using my inner knowing in
my inner compass that this is all quite curious. Does
it scare me? No? But CERN, the Hadrian collider that
(31:15):
really works on you know, it's the organization, the European
Organization for Nuclear Research. They're talking about CERN activating the
collider on April eighth, and it says online, no, they're
not doing this. But there's been a lot of speculation
around it, but for NASA being launching three rockets into
the pathway of the eclipse, the talk about CERN activating
(31:37):
the collider. This stuff is very interesting, and if you
look back at the astrology of nine to eleven many
wars or significant events in history, there's always very curious energy.
A lot of times, Aris, which is the god of war,
ares fight violence. There's a lot of energy right now
(32:02):
that is signifying fear and chaos and really asking us
to fight. But it's not about blood baths so much
as it is the deeper and the higher frequency of this,
the fifth dimensional energy that we are calling in that
is of the heart of love. The path of love
(32:22):
is activating our sovereignty, our ability to manifest, to co create,
and to really create a higher, brighter future. We are
all players in this big chess game, and where our
power is, our sovereignty is it's within And as schmaltzy
or as cheesy as I may sound right now, it's
(32:43):
very serious to me. So I know whatever personal dramas
or pains or fears that I am grappling with, my
job right now is to summon the courage to face
those and courage is not the absence of fear. It's
the healthy alchemizing of fear. You know. I think it's
(33:06):
really interesting when we talk about Ari's energy, because Ari's
energy really asks us to act on instinct, which is
usually it comes from this healthy fear, It comes from desire,
it comes from a place of knowing. So that's why
I'm saying, get in touch with your instinctual self and
(33:28):
really seeing where you can be the maverick, the Maverick
of your life. And what the heck is a maverick.
A maverick is unorthodox. It's an independent minded thinker. And
I'm not talking about shutting yourself off, not collaborating, but
listening to the still small voice within, which is not
(33:51):
a small voice, which is your higher voice, your higher self.
That's what chiron in Aries asks us to do, disk
us to really grow in understanding with our deepest, most
hidden traumas, pains and fears, especially the ones affecting or
afflicting our assertion of self in a higher way. And
(34:15):
the higher way is love, inclusion, compassion. How can we
be warriors of the light versus entrapped by our own fear.
It's about self acceptance, progress through individual action in concert
(34:36):
with societal needs. And this is about being the extraordinary,
not the ordinary. This is such a powerful time and
strange things are happening. There is going to be chaos
in the months ahead, things that are unfathomable, earth shattering.
There may be things in the geomagnetics. We may have
(34:56):
some earth stuff that happens, eruption and storms, stuff with
the weather, things like that. We also may have things again,
like I said, on the world stage, with politics, of course,
the United States is going through a tremendous amount of turmoil.
And if you look at the pathway of the eclipse,
(35:19):
it goes right over the Texas Mexico border. If you
know anything about Texas politics, Texas has been talking about
succeeding and becoming its own country. It has that written
into the Declaration of independence. There's a whole clause in
there for that. Those talks are going on in the government.
It's very interesting. And I'll put a link to NASA's
(35:41):
pathway of the eclipse, which actually goes right over my
house in Wimberley, Texas. It goes over San Antonio and Austin,
through Dallas, then up into Arkansas and beyond. You can
look at the path of where the eclipse tracks. But
it's very significant, and it is not the first clips
that has tracked over this area in a very short
(36:03):
period of time. So this is kind of like the
third and final like wave of change. It'll be interesting
to see what unfolds. I do encourage you, as another
practice to turn the television off. I don't mean don't
be informed about what's going on, but use your own
instincts and be really mindful of the news or the
(36:27):
inciting fear stuff that comes up. You know, if you
think about during a hurricane or like the pandemic, how
all of a sudden there's no toilet paper on the
shelves at the grocery store, where it's like, all of
a sudden people freak out, which it's a human thing,
it's fear, but it's like this reactive energy where people
are out for themselves. All of a sudden, people lose
(36:51):
their steadiness, their logic, their practicality, their inclusion, and it's
all out for themselves. That's the fear that's being incited.
But it's like, how can we rise up, How can
we begin to shift our frequency into being safe, being prepared,
being aware, but not falling into mass chaos, and a
(37:15):
lot of people say this, and I think it's a
great rule of thumb is whatever the masses are doing,
notice that pay attention to that, but also say what
am I doing? What feels right to me, what instinctually
is coming up for me? What do I need to
know rather than defaulting into chaos? And there will be
(37:35):
some chaos in the months ahead, and I don't know
how that's going to play out. I have feelings and
thoughts about it. I see a lot of parallels. I
see it in clients and people I talk to, people
that are very close in my inner circle, that are
very aware consciously and very psychic and intuitive yet grounded, functional,
(37:56):
practical humans. We are experiencing lots of shake up and
shake down. That's why I am having it's very strategically
aligned my event in Austin, Texas on May seventh, because
it has an astrological and numerological correlation that actually will
(38:17):
take us from this chaotic state in April to really
get clear. And for those people who attend, it's the
people who I know and the people who can attend, right,
not everybody can attend, but I know that that group
of people because I have seen them are people who
are saying, where do I reclaim my sovereignty? And how
do I do it from a higher state of consciousness
(38:39):
to manifest the extraordinary in the everyday, in the ordinary.
Where can I find the sacred in the profane? Where
can I find the light in the darkness? And sometimes
the light is just a match, But where does that?
Like what you know starts a fire, one spark, and
we're all sparks. How do we ignite our inner fire,
(39:00):
inner sovereignty, our sense of agency, staying true to yourself
and knowing you're worth and value whatever you are walking through.
I'll throw some more dates out just to if you
want to correlate some points. So as mercury retrogrades this
whole month, and just remember with mercury retrograde, mercury does
rule technology. So there are technological glitches, miscommunications, people canceling stuff.
(39:24):
We were also were in a three month in numerology
where it's just lots of stuff happening and we're having
to change our schedules and go back and forth and
reorganize multiple times a day. I've experienced that, and I
just keep saying, Okay, I'm being flexible. I'm being easy.
What can I shift? What can I rearrange? If I
can't do it, let me just own up to it
and say, hey, I can't fit this in today, this
(39:45):
is too much for me, But we can do it
this other date, and not getting upset that somebody's going
to be mad at me or not like me, you know,
like really coming back to I'm one person. I can
only do so much. Let me honor that and then
let me show up as best I can to be
fully present of service and from this place of easiness
and love, so I can come from a place that's
(40:07):
not only precipitating ease, love, kindness, compassion, whatever it is,
but also feel and experience that for myself versus taking
on what may be too much for me or is
not my responsibility to take on. So the dates I
was going to throw out are mercury is retrograding, and
I was talking about Chiron and it conjuncting at the
exact moment of the eclipse at nineteen I can't remember
(40:30):
the minutes, whatever degrees of ares it is right there
with the eclipse. I mean, this is major in astrology,
but mercury retrogrades it touches that same point three times
and you hear that number three. It's a three month
in numerology, like the three, the three creativity connection communication.
(40:51):
You're yes meaning yes and you're no meaning no. It's
very emotional in moody mood swings. There's lots of energy
to the three, but the three is a number of creation, creativity, creative,
self expression, curiosity, seeing things from a different perspective, a
different lens. What downloads or insights are you getting that
are illuminating you? And even if it's looking at some
(41:11):
harsh darkness within yourself, it's like giving you the information
you need in order to heal. And your question is
do I want to heal? If you're out there and
you're saying I want to heal, hallelujah, yes. If you're
not there, say am I willing to heal this? Or
can I be open or ready to heal this? Can
I be willing to be willing? That's another question. You know,
(41:34):
if you're in a difficult marriage or relationship and you've
been in it too long and you know it deep down,
but you still want that person to be better, to
do better, to say I'm sorry, to show up differently,
you know, and they just aren't doing it. Gosh, so
many of us have been there, right, and it becomes
this deep, inner, personal and personal battle of where do
(41:55):
you bust up your patterns and routines, where do you
put your foot down? Where do you stand up for
yourself and not against the other person. I'm quoting my
friend Gwenn on that one because I think it's marvelous.
How do I stand up for myself and not against
the other person, even if it's painful, even if it
means setting a boundary or making a big decision. This
is the time of big, bold decisions and not knee jerk,
(42:17):
more instinctual yet with knowing. So Mercury when it was
moving direct on March twentieth, go back to March twentieth
on your calendar, see what you were doing. Mercury crossed
over Chiron for the first time. It will retrograde back
over Chiron the seventeenth eighteenth of April. Pay attention on
(42:37):
those days. What end can you correlate it back to
March twentieth? Can you see any data points that kind
of correlate for you? And then it will on a
last and final time when it is moving direct again,
so we get direct retrograde direct. That's how a lot
of times the astrology is when we have retrograde periods.
(42:57):
So Mercury passes over Chiron conjuncts with Chiron. Is at
the exact same point it was on March twentieth, It
is on April seventeenth and eighteenth, and then it will
be again on May sixth, which, by the way, my
event is on May seventh, on the Taurus New moon,
the big manifesting new moon, the house solidifying grounding in
new moon, and Mercury will be conjunct Chiron on that
(43:23):
third final illuminating pass because we've got Mercury the mind,
the working mind, and chirn the deep inner wounds coming
up ready for their final push of healing. So pay
attention to those dates. Put them down on your calendar.
I would I do, already did. They're in my calendar,
and I've looked back and I don't know what's coming
(43:44):
on the sixteenth or seventeenth, but I know there'll be
a point of clarity or really because Mercury is retrograde, revising,
reviewing something, rethinking something, refill in the blank, rewriting. Part
of my story, my empower I meant, my disempowerment, my wounds.
How am I going to do something differently than I
did in two thousand and five? I can draw correlations.
(44:08):
They are all over the place. I shared some of
them with you, and I've rewritten a lot of that.
But I still have old wounds that say, if I
don't do this, then you're not gonna believe me, or
I'm not enough, or maybe I'm an impostor. And I
know in my soul I'm not an impostor. I know
who I am and what I believe and my love
and my heart. But I can easily slip into that
(44:29):
place of disempowerment and fear. And I guess this is
important too, because it's coming through. When I am in
a place of total fear or helplessness and hopelessness, who
do I ask for help? I certainly call on my soul,
my guides, my higher power, the creator of the universe.
(44:51):
I certainly know how to implore that. So there is hope,
there is faith, There is divine guidance, intelligence and higher
energy coming through. I call those troops in. But who
are my human resources? Who do I turn to in
times where I know I can't do something by myself.
(45:12):
I need someone else to hold space for me, and
I have learned how to do that, especially through these deaths.
It's like been in my face, Amanda. You don't have
to do this alone. You can ask for help, or
you can ask if somebody has time to talk to you.
And every time I do that, especially like with my
dog Texts and I just want to give a shout
(45:33):
out to in closing this and I'll wrap it all
up for everybody. But you know, things are personal for me,
and I think that I know how personal everything is
for you all right now, whatever you are walking through.
So I hope this helps. But with what was going
on with Texts in the last few days of his
life and the last few days of our seventeen year
(45:55):
journey together, he crossed over on a Tuesday morning. On Monday,
I talked to two of my sisters and they both
held the sweet space and the loving space for me
because they knew how significant this was, They knew how
personal it was, they knew they knew me, they knew him,
they knew my relationship with him, how significant it was
(46:19):
in my life, and they held like unconditional gentle space
for me. They were concerned for me, but they were
there for me. You know, my family was there for me.
So friends have been there for me, so many people,
right I just you know, as much as I want
to say I got this, I'm okay. I need people.
So I was able to call on them. But on
the morning where I was in my deepest fear and
(46:43):
that place of stubbornness that I was talking about on
Tuesday morning, in that moment, it was early, It was
seven am, and I was stubborn and determined that Text
the vet was going to come to the house and
Text was going to die at home. I didn't want
to have to move him. I didn't want it to
be traumatic. And I had already called the vet. I
(47:04):
had already made the decision that we were bringing him in.
I had asserted that because he didn't need to be
in any pain or struggle, and it needed to be
it needed to happen that morning, and it could not wait.
And I was furious in my heart that he couldn't
die at home, because in my stubborn self will I
(47:24):
was like, he has to die at home, and yet
I didn't want him to be in any pain or discomfort,
and we had him medicated, but still it was just
a lot of pain and discomfort for me. And it
was early in the morning, and I thought, oh, my gosh,
I can't do this by myself. And my husband had
gone out of the house to walk the other dog.
So I was like, I had just a moment, and
(47:45):
I was like, who do I call? Who do I
ask for help in my darkest hour? And I called
my oldest sister Sally, and gosh, you know, like I
called her in my messiness, my fear and my rage
because I was angry. You know, if she said the
wisest thing to me, because she always does in those moments,
(48:05):
it's her gift. Her gift is is really wisdom in
the midst of chaos or trauma, which is what I'm
talking about here, that archetype of clarity, grounding and truth,
that eye of the storm. That's what she was for
me in that moment. And she said, Amanda, you are
Texas home. Wherever you are, you are his home, meaning
(48:31):
wherever he goes, wherever he dies, as long as you
are with him, you are his home. And in that moment,
there was like an ecstatic release and relief of the
suffering and the fear and the stubbornness to know we
were each other's home. Home is where the freaking heart is.
(48:54):
Home is where the heart is small sye as it is.
That's what I was forgetting, and I needed someone else
to be the eye of the storm for me. Who
can you call on? And I want you to remember
this in the months of ahead, when you were in struggling,
when you were messy, Who can be your eye in
the storm besides yourself? Who are you instinctually calling on
(49:17):
to let in to your pain or your struggle? Allow
someone else to be wise for you when you can't
summon the wisdom within. We need each other. And I
will say this in closing with that, and I've shared
this with many clients because I learned it for myself
years ago. Was it's a privilege to invite people into
(49:42):
our chaos or our trauma or our suffering. Meaning when
I invited her in to hold that space for me
and hold me up over the phone, she just said,
I'm so glad you called me and you let me
love on you, you let me be here for you. I
am wickedly stubborn and self reliant, and in that moment
(50:05):
I knew that's who I needed to call. But it
was not just about me. It was about me allowing
her in, which is the privilege of connection. So think
about connection. As you get connected with yourself, you become
aware of the chaos around you and where you find
your clarity within yourself, within your higher consciousness, but also
(50:30):
with the human consciousness available to you, because we do
need each other. Okay, friends, here's to an eclipse that
will trigger a six month and beyond cycle. Navigate this
mercury retrograde as best you can. There will be more
to come in the episode coming up this week. But
(50:52):
think about what correlations you can draw, Maybe back to
two thousand and five, maybe, like I said, back to
March twentieth or March twenty fifth, the lunar eclipse, whatever
resonates for you, extrapolate your data so you can become
clear and you find your inner sanctuary, your inner stillness.
(51:14):
Be the eye of the storm, because that light is needed.
And for those of you who find yourself right now
in a place of peace and ease and steadiness and knowing,
please be meant to all of us. Let's do this together.
And if you find the eye of the storm if
it comes up for you at any point over the
(51:36):
course of April or into May, when you have that
ecstatic release, that clarity, that is the peace that passes
all understanding. My sister also, Sally, reminded me of that,
the peace that passes all understanding. Not only embrace it
and let it wash over you like grace and mercy,
(51:57):
grace being that gift that we don't just mercy being
withholding from us until we get it. Remember basking that
and then maybe if you can beam it out into
the world. Your signals are bright, and remember, like you know,
just this little bit of a spark can start a
whole fire. Be well, everyone,
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