We are all Caregivers

Bob tells the story of Tanya, one of the heroes working as an ER nurse on the front lines of this pandemic. Tanya overcomes the difficulties she faces every day through meditation, a vital practice that we should adopt as we all face the possibility of becoming caregivers to loved ones at this time or in the future.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Stay Calm as a production of I Heart Radio. Hi.
I'm Bob Roth, and I've been teaching people to meditate
for fifty years, helping them to stay calm under pressure,
reboot and re energize their lives, and basically be a happier,
healthier version of themselves. And now I want to help

(00:22):
you do the same. Welcome to Stay Calm, your daily
dose of calmness. Every weekday morning, I'll share a meditation story,
offer a simple practical tip about how you or a
loved one can stay a bit calmer in your life,
and then we'll end each episode together with a moment
of gratitude. My hope is that I can share what
I know to anyone who needs it. Ready, sit comfortably,

(00:47):
take a few deep breaths, and let's begin today's journey.
I'd like to tell you about Tanya Malcolm, who's an
emergency room registered nurse at one of the large hospitals
outside of Washington, d C. On the front lines of
the COVID nineteen epidemic. Tanya is also a member of

(01:07):
the National Advisory Board of the Heal the Healers Now Initiative,
which is bringing evidence based meditation to doctors nurses, orderlies,
custodial staff to help them overcome the ravages of post
traumatic stress disorder that they're experiencing right now, much like
what veterans report when they come back from combat. I

(01:30):
want to tell you the story about Tanya and some
of the lessons that she's learned. Her experiences as an
emergency room nurse are to the extreme, perhaps, but all
of us now or in the future are going to
be caregivers. All of us are going to have an
elderly parent to take care of who may be suffering

(01:50):
from Alzheimer's, a child who has some learning difficulties, spouse,
a partner who suffers from deep depression, all of whom
need our time and attention. So Tanya's experience in the
emergency room is one of sheer hell. Tanya is a

(02:11):
triage nurse, which means that all the patients who come
into the hospital, she screens them first. She said. The
fear and the anxiety that all the staff are feeling
is palpable. She said. One of the biggest things is
she has to isolate the patients from their families. Wife
drives her husband of forty years to the hospital because

(02:33):
he has symptoms of coronavirus and she has to leave
the hospital. She may never see him again. She also said,
is such a stress when she goes home, and she's
so afraid that she's going to bring the virus to
her two children. So she has not hugged her children
or her husband in over a month. All this pressure

(02:54):
builds up against the desire to be a nurse. She
loves nursing, she loves caregiving, so this is great battle
going on inside for Tanya. The practice of meditation has
been an absolute life saver because she can take a
break in the middle of the day, go into the

(03:16):
women's bathroom or the chapel, the quiet room somewhere in
the hospital, and take twenty minutes and do her TM
transcendental meditation. It eliminates the build up of stress, wakes
up her mind. It's like a rebooting so that she
can face these people who come with such fear, and
she can do it with love and with a smile
on her face. Again. Tanya's situation, while to the extreme,

(03:41):
is a situation that either many of you are facing
now or will face in the future. If there was
one piece of advice that Tanya would have for all
of us in a caregiver role is do not take
it on yourself. It's so important to have people you

(04:03):
can talk to, people you can share your experiences, people
you could cry with if you need to, people you
could vent your anger and your frustration. Yes, you should
definitely look into meditation, exercise, take time for yourself. Avoid
the kind of thinking that only I can handle this problem.
Why should I get any time off my husband, wife?

(04:26):
You fill in the blanket suffering. Those are self defeating
and destructive thoughts. My message don't let the pressure bottle
up inside of you. Find people you can talk to,
share your experiences, and at the same time take care
of yourself. All right, let's end this time together doing

(04:48):
something that I think should be a feature of our
everyday life, and that's appreciation and gratitude. So let's take
thirty seconds of quiet, thirty seconds to take a break,
just take a moment. It turns out when we do
that it's good for our health as well. I'll be
right back, all right. Thank you for joining. This is

(05:37):
Bob Roth. Keep calm, Thanks for listening today. I hope
you heard something that inspires that uplifts you and that
you can incorporate into your own life. Until next time,
remember meditate, be kind, and be true to yourself. Hey,
all of you out there, I'd love to hear from you.

(05:57):
You can send me your stories, your question or anything
else on your mind. Just connect with me on Twitter,
Facebook or Instagram at meditation Bob. You can also send
me an email at meditation Bob Roth at gmail dot com.
I look forward to hearing from you.