Autumnal Earnestness Bonanza, Part 2

It's time for part two of our Earnestness Bonanza where we DROP THE ACT and answer listener questions HONESTLY. This time with real voice calls!

See us LIVE in New York on October 12th! Tickets at linktree.com/straightiolab.

MERCH IS HERE: cottonbureau.com/people/straightiolab SUBSCRIBE TO OUR PATREON at patreon.com/straightiolab for bonus episodes twice a month and don't forget to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:20):
Podcast starts now, what is up everyone around the globe?
This Istradio Lab Autumnal Earnes This Bonanza Part two. Hello,
we are here to reflect and answer your call in
questions as earnestly as humanly possible.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
I'm taking my chain out so that we are exactly matching.
That's a nice black shirt and gold chain.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
That's really awesome. I love Wow.

Speaker 2 (00:46):
Oh that's so amazing. Are you wearing an I Love
New York hat?

Speaker 1 (00:50):
I'm wearing an I Love New York hat.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
Someone is feeling homesick, boots.

Speaker 1 (00:55):
I got it when I was at the airport, which
is where all the best shoppingpins.

Speaker 2 (01:02):
Were. You just feeling so I love New York that
you needed and I love New York hat kind of,
I will say you know that I love New York logo.
It's one of those things that you think is gonna
get old and it never does.

Speaker 1 (01:12):
Well, there's something it's like so tacky that then it's
like there comes a time in your life when you
are like, I'm gonna try, I'm gonna try to pull
it off because it is so iconic and so cheesy
that you're like, it's like liking Bob Dylan or something
you're like, it's like a little on the nose. And
then but then sometimes when you can pull it off,
you can really pull it off. Because I did want
to think, like, I think it's so hacked when people

(01:35):
moved to LA from New York and wear like a
Yankees hat all the time. I'm like, it's never gonna
be my style. But I was like, I do want
something to be like, you know, I'm not, don't. I
lived in New York for a pretty long time.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
And what says that more than a hat that says
I love New York that you bought at the airport.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
Yes, yes, so I'm having fun with it.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
I have a here's my first of all ear I
love New York hat is and I think it will
never get old. That said, my huge prediction is that
we are really nearing the end of merch as fashion
in a way that is, it's going to come crashing
down in such a huge way. Don't you think, George,
you're scaring me. No, not yours, doesn't. I mean, I

(02:18):
love New York. It transcends merch, but I just mean, like.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
No, I mean I know what you mean. Like merch
in general, that's like.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
It's basically the A twenty four, Like it's like the
A twenty four merch industrial complex, like everything basically everything
being hype beast skaterwar that is gonna be over in
a matter of months.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
That's so complicated because I actually like that stuff.

Speaker 2 (02:42):
I do too. But here's the thing. You think it's
embarrassing now to looking back on skinny jeans and cardigans
and man buns. Can you imagine how embarrassing it will
be ten years to be looking at photos of grown
forty five year old men wearing head to toe ironic merch.

Speaker 3 (02:59):
I do have this shirt I got at a thrift
store that has like it's like a little oversized and
has dolphins all over it, and it's like kind of
tied eye, but the tied eye is also dolphins. Well
that's never gonna I was wearing it recently and I
was like, what am I wearing?

Speaker 1 (03:17):
Like? I was like, I look like someone who like
fell in the pool and had to like wear someone
else's clothes because a line a soaking wet.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
Maybe that's the new TikTok fashion trend is looking like
someone who fell into the pool and has to wear
someone else's clothes.

Speaker 4 (03:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
Wait, can I say something the way the way trend
language has evolved, And I don't mean language of particular trends.
I mean the language around trends is making me feel crazy.
How So like the idea that people say the demure trend. Yeah,
I know, we talked about this a little bit, but

(03:53):
like it's not a trend. It's just like that's like
it's a thing that any people are saying. But a
trend is different. A trend is a type of shoe
or like a or the way people wear their pants.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
Well, the Internet is also like desperate to brand something
now they've seen that it's like successful, to like claim it.
Like I saw something that was like, you know, medieval
core is so popular right now. It's like no, it's
not like I'm sorry, but no, it's not like, yes,
you found six people who have done it, done a
TikTok about making a medieval style thing.

Speaker 2 (04:26):
No, it's just that Chapel Roane did medieval for the VMA's.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
Yeah, it's like people are desperate to brand in a way.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
That I have to say. I'm saying this. I'm saying
this with nothing but love because you know, I feel
a connection to those whose job it is to churn
out content on the Internet. I have been there, you
have been there. At very point, we all have to
put in our hours. It's like your mandatory military service. Yeah,
at every point. You know, every member of our generation

(04:58):
has to have a job where their job is literally
to just churn out content slop as they say. Yes, However,
I saw something the other day and I did not
see who wrote it, so apologies if it's someone we know.

Speaker 1 (05:11):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
I saw something the other day that was about how
like the cowboy aesthetic is in, and I was like,
excuse me, we are not doing this again. We're pretending
that the cowboy aesthetic is something that is in or
out rather than just a fundamental part of American culture
that just like is always there. Like we did it

(05:33):
with Casey Muskraves and oh well it's yeeha summer. Then
we did it with you know, Cowboy Carter. Then before
that it was like the Chick like any if you
look up on the way back machine, like is cowboy trending?
It is always trending, is American culture?

Speaker 1 (05:51):
I know. I think you're completely right. I think it's insane.
I think I love having this platform. I love having
a podcast where we just come on and like just complain.
Like I love that we can just sort of complain.

Speaker 2 (06:04):
I am I have to say, I am in a
I'm in a complaining mood.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
Well, I think that's luckily we have all these beautiful inspirings.

Speaker 2 (06:14):
I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm delaying our call.

Speaker 1 (06:16):
Don't ever apologize. I think I just think it's it's
fine that you're in a complaining mood, and I think
that okay. I think you'll pop out of it too.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
All right, great, all right, first call, let's do it.

Speaker 5 (06:28):
Hey, Sam and George, this is Heidi, longtime listener for
AT ten caller. I just wanted to jump in and
ask you guys since one of my favorite episodes is
the episode with you and Matt and Bowen from last Culturistas.
I thought I would ask a question about that and

(06:48):
that topic. On that episode, you guys talked about awkwardness
and randomness. So I am just wondering, kind of how
do you guys feel about the topic. What is it
two years later? I feel like it's relevant. I feel
like there's new new nuances that are coming of age
with you know, awkwardness and randomness, things that are different

(07:11):
than they once were, and some some things might still
be the same. So I was just wondering, do you
guys could tell me a little bit more about that
awkwardness and run the mess. I love you guys so much.

Speaker 6 (07:23):
I'll be at your Chicago show.

Speaker 5 (07:25):
Catch me in the Glamour Girl hat.

Speaker 2 (07:26):
Wow fun.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
Okay, Thanks Heidi?

Speaker 2 (07:29):
What what? Yes? Thank you, Heidie, and thank you for
such a thoughtful question, because this is such a good
thing to check in on two years later.

Speaker 1 (07:37):
One it's kind of crazy that it's been two years.
I feel like our searing discussion on randomness and awkwardness
is more relevant than ever. But I I've been thinking
about this a lot recently actually, because you know, we
talked about Blurg, we talk about I did a thing culture,
and that does feel at this stage in time like

(07:58):
it is gone. Like people don't do it sincerely anymore.
People do do it ironically. Yeah, And I'm like the
fact that it's it's becoming you know how how people
were saying yoas queen sincerely, then people were saying yas
queen ironically, and then even saying yas queen ironically died
and slay saying Slay ironically has almost died so hard

(08:19):
that it's almost back.

Speaker 2 (08:21):
No. Actually, I just want to say that there are
certain things that feel defining in terms of my own aging,
and I think Slay dying a second time around Slay
ironically dying is one of them. I'm like, oh, I
think I need to just kind of let go of
this train and not follow trends anymore.

Speaker 1 (08:40):
Yeah, I think what scares me about the present day
is I don't know what the I did. The thing
is I don't know what the this is. Like, Yeah,
I'm like a little bit like.

Speaker 2 (08:52):
It's skipbitty skipbity toilet.

Speaker 1 (08:54):
But even like I'm like, what am I going to
step in? What am I going to say that? Because
I won't be hyper aware of the ways that people
talk like that will be the new thing that people
will ironically do later, Like will we be posting the
twenty twenty five version of like I did a thing
because we're like un self aware?

Speaker 2 (09:15):
Now, I mean, if you don't think, if you don't
think that the way our extended community of gay comedy podcasters'
talks is going to be the butt of every joke
and maybe already is, and we're not aware of it totally,
but like for the next five years, like the sort

(09:36):
of like post Lena Dunnham one extra layer of self awareness,
but also like being aware of the concept of self
awareness and like talking openly about one's own neuroses but
being careful, but then having a million disclaimers about one's

(09:58):
own privilege and one's own quirks and being like, well,
everything I'm saying I don't really mean, but I sort
of kind of mean it. Like, if you don't think
that's going to be the butt of every joke in
the next generation of comedy, you are mistaken, my friend.

Speaker 1 (10:12):
Yeah. So it's so I think where we're at now
is we know that it's over, but we don't we're
scared of what's next, because yeah, I.

Speaker 2 (10:20):
Do, Yes, I do think in terms of okay, I
think awkwardness is more difficult to discuss. Randomness, I think
is I think what we're talking about in terms of
the TikTok trends, randomness is back in a big way
and the and I think a big part of it
is the beating the algorithm of it all. Yeah, Like

(10:44):
I think you actually just have to do something. It's
sort of like the legacy of BuzzFeed cooking videos. It's
like you have to do something random in order to
get seen. Yeah, and it actually can't be that you're
making a good point. It has to be random, like
it has to almost look uncanny Valley for people to
be like, wait a minute, what is this.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
It reminds me of like old YouTube like yes, exactly,
it would be fun to see something edited crazy and
you would like laugh at it and be like, wow,
this is funny. And now even like transferred to TikTok.

Speaker 2 (11:15):
Yeah, even like I like Kareem a lot, but even
like Subway takes is like, Okay, say something random, go
and then because it's so because it's so unexpected or
because and sometimes people are like in on the joke
and sometimes they're not, and you are just you're setting
He's setting everyone up for failure. It's just literally being like, Okay,

(11:36):
who are we sacrificing today? Go and then you have
to say something and then it and then everyone just
comes in and starts ripping you apart.

Speaker 1 (11:43):
Yeah, the comments and those videos are actually so so
so scary.

Speaker 2 (11:49):
But shout out to Kaream. But he just had Jane
Goodall on which I think, is I really.

Speaker 1 (11:53):
Yes, that's that sounds like a joke you would make,
so it's.

Speaker 2 (11:57):
Kind of insane. So I do think randomness is very
much in and I think the reason is because of
like structural issues with how social media works and the
algorithms they're in. Okay, awkwardness, do you have a theory like.

Speaker 1 (12:11):
I think.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
You know who is awkward?

Speaker 1 (12:14):
Yeah? JD Vans, Yeah, that's where awkwardness is coming in.
I'm trying to think there's no like weaponizing awkwardness like
there was in the twenty tens, like right, like, yeah,
now you're like supposed to be normal when you're out
in public.

Speaker 2 (12:32):
No, I I agree, And I actually think that's a
good development. Like me too, And I used to be
someone who slightly weaponized awkwardness or like or also weaponized
like oh I'm such a mess, like I'm dropping papers everywhere.
Oh of course I'm late again, And at some point
that's stopped being cute. And I think that's a good thing.

Speaker 1 (12:52):
Yeah, because even awkwardness is like a cousin to like
introvert conversation. Yes, and that stuff has kind of died
down to where it's not people aren't like a strongly
identifying as like, well, I'm an introvert, so I can't
do things.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
Yeah, okay that said, Sorry, we need to move on.
But yeah, So I also think the Kamala Kamala Harris
pre actually being a presidential candidate her, like all the
memes about how she how you know, she sort of
like didn't make much sense and she was always laughing,

(13:27):
that is actually a brand of awkwardness. And so I
almost think there's like a continuum where one side is
is like charming, charismatic awkwardness, and one side is like
conversation ending in cel adjason awkwardness. And I do think
in a culture where everyone is so polished and ready

(13:50):
to self brand, awkwardness can be powerful because it shows authenticity.
So that's while I love that premise. You know what
I mean, Stay awkward, folks, Stay awkward. Next call TI.

Speaker 7 (14:04):
My name is Paul and I'm calling from Baltimore and Maryland.
Oh and yes, Stradio Lab is my favorite podcast. But
the thing is, I'm straight. So what's that all about?

Speaker 1 (14:22):
Wait?

Speaker 2 (14:23):
First of all, a plus question.

Speaker 1 (14:26):
Wait, I'm confused.

Speaker 2 (14:29):
We're catching a flight to Baltimore, is what that's about?
Because we're going to need to meet you in person.

Speaker 1 (14:35):
King, Yeah, this is going to take some some hands
on studying.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
I do want to say, I do want to say
there are many straight male listeners and we have met
them at shows and contacted them on the internet, et cetera.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 2 (14:49):
It's not like that. It's not as rare as one
would think. I know you all think you're, oh, we're
such cool queers and girls.

Speaker 1 (14:56):
Not always, yeah, I mean, I do you. I bravely
listen to How Long Gone? So you know it does
go both ways, but.

Speaker 2 (15:05):
I mean kind of, But How Long Gone? Literally is
queer baiting? One oh one? They are? They are soliciting
gay guys left and right.

Speaker 1 (15:13):
Damn, you're absolutely right. Are we straight baiting? What is what?

Speaker 2 (15:16):
I do think we're straight baiting in a way like
I think both of us sometimes, you know, I think
both of us do get off on appealing to straight
men in our own ways.

Speaker 1 (15:27):
Wow do you think, well, well, sexually, of course.

Speaker 2 (15:30):
Well, of course sexually, But I think you have your
whole cowboy, baseball cap midwestern thing. Then I think I
sort of I like shooting the ship with with the
boyfriends and the husbands.

Speaker 1 (15:48):
Yeah, you do. You're good at that. Damn. I mean, yeah, whatever,
I guess it just means I guess it's it is
weird to me that we're your favorite podcast.

Speaker 2 (15:59):
Excuse me, it's not weird.

Speaker 1 (16:00):
You don't have you have maybe check out Barstool Sports.

Speaker 2 (16:03):
No, do not, do not check out Personal Sports.

Speaker 8 (16:06):
No.

Speaker 2 (16:06):
I don't think it's rid at all. I think it
is perfectly normal, and I think it is probably like
really healthy. I think you're by Oh my god, next call.

Speaker 1 (16:18):
I'm kidding.

Speaker 9 (16:20):
Okay, So I left an Instagram post on the Stratrail
lapcoms like pre wedding post where you photo shopped George
into a bow tie. And I was just listening to the.

Speaker 6 (16:32):
Pod at the time and I was like, Aha.

Speaker 10 (16:35):
Oh my gosh, like.

Speaker 11 (16:38):
Tux as like not tacky.

Speaker 12 (16:40):
That's hilarious.

Speaker 9 (16:41):
And I posted it the comment, and then that evening
I was like, oh fuck, what if he's actually wearing
a to the wedding.

Speaker 1 (16:46):
That's so mean.

Speaker 12 (16:47):
I can't believe it.

Speaker 9 (16:48):
I went and deleted it, and let's us see the
other comment, being like, oh it looks lovely. Of course
it's anyway, why do you think tuxes are not tacky?
What gave you that belief. In a related note, who
is your favorite British person? And yeah, how do you
like to feel about Ja's Bond?

Speaker 2 (17:08):
Is there some of that?

Speaker 9 (17:09):
Like is he the Yeah? But anyway, yeah, I love
you very much. I giveive him your life.

Speaker 4 (17:15):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (17:15):
First of all, I just wanted to play that so
that we could listen to that person's stunning, beautiful voice.

Speaker 1 (17:21):
I know that was nice.

Speaker 2 (17:24):
And from what I understand, the questions are a are tuxs TACKI?
Why or why not?

Speaker 12 (17:29):
Be?

Speaker 2 (17:29):
Who is our favorite British person? And also thoughts on
James Bond?

Speaker 1 (17:34):
Okay, well, I'm gonna go with favorite British person first,
and it's gotta be Austin Powers. I would love to
go across the pond and meet him one day. Huh,
how about you?

Speaker 2 (17:49):
I don't know? This is so hard, Yeah, don't you?

Speaker 13 (17:52):
Like?

Speaker 2 (17:53):
I really want to know?

Speaker 1 (17:54):
You know who? Actually? I love both Graham Norton and
the other guy when they are hosting or guest judging
on Drag Race and always like, damn, I love these guys.

Speaker 13 (18:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:06):
What's the other one's name? Alan Carr?

Speaker 14 (18:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (18:11):
No, I love well is that his name?

Speaker 6 (18:13):
You know?

Speaker 2 (18:14):
It is his name? But the thing with Alan Carr
is that he has gone a bit anti cancel culture
and reason he really in a way that you don't
want to look into. Yes, we love vintage Alan Carr.
Baby okay here is one of my favorite British people,
and not to be earnest, but the director Mike Lee
is so huge for me and I've been I think

(18:40):
I've mentioned this a little bit on the podcast, but
I've been on a real Mike Lee kick recently and
I'm trying to watch his entire filmography. But he also
has this taped play that is very popular. It's called
Abigail's Party and it is basically like it is The
Absolute Dream, which is a comedy about a party going
south where it's like people are like waiting for the

(19:01):
guests to come, then the guests come and then slowly
everything devolves into chaos and it's like it's, you know,
as with everything British, it is commentary on class and
on a sort of post thatcher London and it is
just absolute heaven. And then the other British person I love,

(19:22):
not to always be thinking in an internet meme way,
is Miriam Marghlez. Oh yeah, no, she's great I mean, now,
that is an iconic queen.

Speaker 1 (19:32):
Now that is a British person.

Speaker 2 (19:34):
And you know I love me all my Dames. You
know I love Judy Bench and Maggie Smith.

Speaker 1 (19:39):
Yeah, I love the girls.

Speaker 2 (19:42):
What about British musicians like Charlie, like the Gallagher brothers. Yeah,
I love Charlie. My favorite British person is Joey XX.

Speaker 1 (19:54):
That's honestly probably true. That's the one I spend the
most time with. You know their art.

Speaker 2 (19:59):
Mine is Jesse Eric except for her foreign policy opinions.

Speaker 1 (20:02):
Yeah, amazing live show though. Shout out to Jesse.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
Yeah, no, for sure, I love so Nik. I love
that song. Feels so good. That keeps me.

Speaker 1 (20:20):
Yeah, no, I love her. She needs she needs to.

Speaker 2 (20:22):
Get Oh my god, didoh hello?

Speaker 1 (20:26):
Damn British people have all the fun people.

Speaker 2 (20:28):
I love the Beatles, of course.

Speaker 1 (20:33):
Daniel Craig Radcliffe.

Speaker 2 (20:35):
Daniel Radcliffe is so good. I saw him on stage recently.

Speaker 1 (20:38):
It's awesome. Sir Ian McKellen, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:44):
Adele, Okay, what do we think of James Bond?

Speaker 1 (20:50):
I'm always underwhelmed. I'm like, why do they make these
movies so damn boring? I feel like if like, okay,
so there's like a hot, horny man who solves mysteries
or whatever. Like I'm like, this is perfect for me.
I'm in heaven sure, And every time I watch one,
I'm like, what is all this filler? Why?

Speaker 2 (21:08):
How did you make this boring? Have you which ones
are you thinking of? Like the most recent ones?

Speaker 1 (21:14):
I'm thinking of the most recent ones. I mean I
loved like Casino Royal, like the first Daniel Craig one,
but then like all the other ones, even like Skyfall,
when people are like absolutely gagging for it, I was like,
this movie sucks. I hated it.

Speaker 2 (21:28):
So I really grew up with James Bond. It was,
for whatever reason, like a huge favorite among many people
in my fam Like my grandmother would be like, oh,
there's a James Bond on tonight on the television. So
I do have a special connection to him, And I
gotta say, I think I'm much more pro than you are.
I'm like, I don't keep up with them, but if

(21:51):
a new one is out and someone's like, do you
want to go see it, I'm like, oh, yeah, girls night,
we're gonna see James Bond. I also love the mythology
of the Bond Girls. I love the mythology of it's
always a different actor in the politics of that, and
it's like, oh it was you know, Sean Connery brought
a different energy to it than you know, Pierres Brosnan
and whatever else. And I also appreciate it as a

(22:15):
British export, Like there's a certain way that it's like
an avenue for popularizing a certain kind of British humor
and British camp. Yeah, that I like. And even though
I do like the Daniel Craig ones, I do find
that they lack some of the humor of the previous
ones in a way I don't always appreciate.

Speaker 1 (22:34):
Yeah. So yeah, I think part of the reason I'm
anti is because, like they're one of those things that
you are told to like when you're a child, and
so all my life I was like, Okay, I think
I like James Bond, I liked James Vond. I like
James Bond, And then there was one where I was like, wait,
I just was told I was supposed to at some point,

(22:54):
and I just internalized that, Yeah, now that I have,
you know, choice and freedom, I'm like, do I even
like this? And I think the answer is, like it
depends like if it's good.

Speaker 2 (23:04):
I get it.

Speaker 1 (23:04):
Yeah, but yeah I get it.

Speaker 2 (23:07):
Wait, sorry, final thing. I love the I'm talking about
like the mythology of it all. I love the Bond songs,
like how it's always a big deal who's chosen to
do the song, and then how in the openings it's
always just like a bunch of nude figures of women
on fire.

Speaker 1 (23:21):
It's gotta love it, you gotta love it.

Speaker 2 (23:25):
And our tucks is attack you or not?

Speaker 1 (23:27):
I think no. I think the only reason they're tacky
is they're like such a like wealth symbol. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:34):
So Matthew said something recently that really blew my mind
about tuxes, which is I was like, you know, I
have my Joe's pub show coming up and I want
to do something special for it. And I was like,
what if. You know, I bought a tux for his
sister's wedding and I haven't worn it since. I was like,
what if as a sort of joke, I wore a
tux And Matthew was like, he goes. I just think
wearing a tux is the same thing as wearing a
tuxedo T shirt. And I was like, oh my god,

(23:56):
that is one of the most genius things I've ever
heard that It's like, oh, yes, the signifier of tucks
is so strong that no matter how good or bad
or sophisticated, the actual TuS is, you are wearing a
tux T shirt.

Speaker 1 (24:10):
Wow. Unless it's like a care like Ike does his
show and a tux Yes, but he like.

Speaker 2 (24:18):
I catched body the care Yes, And I would say
that is commenting on the tux t shirt.

Speaker 1 (24:23):
Totally. Totally. That's so interesting.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
Yeah, but that really blew out.

Speaker 1 (24:27):
That's a really smart point.

Speaker 15 (24:33):
Okay, next call HI is George and Sam because of
this earnestness bonanza and because you are too sweet high cancers.
I'm just curious, when was the last time you cried?

Speaker 4 (24:43):
Thank you?

Speaker 2 (24:45):
Do you want me to go first? Because mine's easy?

Speaker 1 (24:48):
Yeah, I have to think.

Speaker 2 (24:50):
So this is a cop out, but the last time
I cried was when I was writing my vows before
my wedding and I cried. I cried while writing them,
then every single time I rehearsed them, and then when
it was actually time and I cried while like reading
them silently right before walking down the aisle, and I
was like, oh my god, this is going to be
a disaster. I'm going to be like bawling my eyes out,

(25:10):
or it's going to look contrived whatever. And then when
it was time to actually say them, I was completely dry,
so much so that I was like, does this come
across as an authentic Like do people think I don't
feel these? And I don't. I guess what it was
is just that like the mix of adrenaline and whatever
else my body was producing was just so strong that
it wasn't allowing me to actually produce tears. But I

(25:33):
was very confused by it because literally every time I
tried to read them, I would cry like violently, And
then when it came down to it, I was literally.

Speaker 1 (25:42):
Fine, that's so funny. Yeah, I teared up at your wedding.
I don't know if it counts, but I did tear up.
I think the last like sort of ugly like like
almost like vomiting cry was like I was driving to
one day and it was like the Thursday before I
was going back to New York to pack everything up,

(26:04):
and I was just like a some song came on
and I just like could not stop crying, and I
was like, ohugh, it hurt. Yeah, that whole weekend. I
was like, that was the moving weekend. I oh, when
it wells it really is like throwing up like it
like wells up, and you're like, I think I have
to do this right now. I yeah. When we finished

(26:27):
back in the apartment, I was also like really balling
my damn eyes out. Damn.

Speaker 2 (26:34):
I'm like, I was looking through my recently watched movies
to see what movie made me cry, and I legitimately
can't find one. I mean, I'm now all the way
back to Madam.

Speaker 1 (26:41):
Webb well An say we were bawling.

Speaker 2 (26:44):
Of course, Oh okay, I mean this is embarrassing, but
I do think all of us strangers made me cry.
That was January twenty twenty four. Jesus whoa. Oh, and
this German movie A Fire really made me cry, And
I have to absolutely go ahead and smash that recommendation

(27:05):
button for the movie A Fire. I repeat, a Fire, run,
don't walk. And it is German, right, Yeah, it's German. Okay,
Next call cool, Next.

Speaker 10 (27:15):
Call George, sam Hi, George, congrassol. I'm getting gay married,
so special, so sweet, so cool, et cetera. I'm calling
for a related reason.

Speaker 14 (27:27):
But here's a silly, little twist.

Speaker 10 (27:29):
As of last year, I'm gay divorced.

Speaker 6 (27:32):
That's right.

Speaker 10 (27:33):
We were together for eight years, married for five. We
finish our PhDs together and got faculty jobs at the
same university. Brilliant move on our part, turns out, although
not ideal, it's mostly fine working down the hall from
your literal ex husband. Anyways, my question is it's about him,
it's about dating. Also, I'm thirty six, if that's helpful,

(27:55):
I'm dating again, which has been a real lol. But
how do I kick divorce a out of my personality
because unfortunately, it feels very top of mind, especially when
someone is getting to know me asking about my life.
You know, the usual hinge chat turned first date convo.
But like saying the word divorced on a first date
kind of weird?

Speaker 8 (28:15):
No?

Speaker 6 (28:17):
Or is it hot?

Speaker 10 (28:18):
But like in a fucked up way, I don't know.
It feels equally as strange to bring it up as
it does to not bring it up, and the reception
of this information is usually a mix of intrigue and
seemingly genuine compassion with a sprinkle of tell me everything
about your failed marriage, you dumbfagot thoughts on this? Should
I wait a certain amount of time before mentioning. Do
you think I'm getting an automatic demerit when I do mention?

(28:40):
Or is the demerit for simply getting divorced in and
of itself? Sincerely a gay divorce A not?

Speaker 14 (28:46):
The word divorce is so funny?

Speaker 1 (28:48):
Wow?

Speaker 2 (28:48):
Sorry? But are they still giving out MacArthur Genius grants
or was it just justin Vivianmbond this year? Because I
have a nominee, I am ready to submit.

Speaker 1 (28:58):
No, that was weird. I was like, wait, is this
a podcast?

Speaker 2 (29:01):
Like?

Speaker 1 (29:01):
I was like, wait, you're doing what we do.

Speaker 2 (29:03):
It's first of all, it was perfectly articulated, and then
the additional aside at the end, like after the call
is over, being like ugh that word.

Speaker 1 (29:15):
Yeah. I mean it was really well produced.

Speaker 2 (29:18):
I would suck at your thoughts.

Speaker 1 (29:20):
I mean you can't hide from it, obviously, I think,
and it's better to be just like, yeah, I'm divorced
and it's gonna be juicy, like that's okay. Though people
are gonna it's fun to have something juicy, and I
think you should lean into it and of course fetishize
it totally.

Speaker 2 (29:39):
I have to say this is a boring response, but
I genuinely mean this when I say to me, it
would make no difference if I was dating and someone
was thirty six years old and divorced, Like I think
it of course is slightly more complicated if you have
kids or if you're like still living with your ex

(29:59):
or some like that. But like a gay guy who's
thirty six and divorced, like, yeah, we all have ex's.

Speaker 1 (30:06):
Yeah, it sounds really normal to me.

Speaker 2 (30:08):
I think I'm trying to think what would be like,
For example, if you were if you were twenty one
in gay divorced, I would maybe be like a little
more like, what's going on there? Why did you feel
they need to get married at nineteen? But I really
I get what you're saying about it being hot, but
I almost think it's so normal that it's barely fetishizable.

Speaker 1 (30:31):
No, that's really true.

Speaker 2 (30:32):
I really would not worry about it one second.

Speaker 1 (30:35):
Yeah, and you don't need to like say a bunch
about it, just be like, yeah, yeah, we were married
and our divorced. I think it's kind of cool. I
think it's kind of a cool thing where people will
be like, by.

Speaker 2 (30:45):
The way, you're an academic too, and a gay divorce academic.

Speaker 1 (30:49):
That is so classic. That is so classic.

Speaker 2 (30:53):
Hello, paiging Woody Allen, Okay, love that.

Speaker 4 (30:58):
Hi, George, this is Katie. I'm calling on behalf of
all the elves in LGBTQ. Plus, I've always appreciated your
reference you guys have for lesbians, and I just want
to hear you talk about them more. George, I know
you have like a lot of lesbian friends. Sam, why

(31:23):
don't you. I'm kidding, No, I'm kidding.

Speaker 8 (31:26):
I actually don't know if that's true.

Speaker 4 (31:29):
But yeah, what do you think about I don't know
the relationship between gay men and lesbians? Is that gay're straight?

Speaker 5 (31:37):
Yeah?

Speaker 8 (31:38):
That's it? Ellie so much.

Speaker 2 (31:41):
Bye, Okay, Sam has lesbian friends. Everyone needs to stop
accusing of of not having lesbian friends. That was so
funny though, it was really funny. I do like the question,
is the relationship between gay men and lesbians gay or straight?

Speaker 1 (31:56):
That's a really interesting question.

Speaker 2 (31:58):
Yeah, what do you think?

Speaker 1 (31:59):
I think it's I think it's I'm gonna go gay
me too.

Speaker 2 (32:05):
It's a classic. I mean, it's classic retro across the aisle.
It is classic being in community with those that are
different from you. There's something so beautiful about like essentially
having something in common that actually makes you more different.
It's like the commonality is the same sex attraction, but
it actually, in fact, gay men have more in common

(32:27):
with straight women.

Speaker 1 (32:28):
Like because they both like Matt.

Speaker 2 (32:30):
Yeah, it is a it is a level of solidarity
you have to develop that actually takes some intellectual.

Speaker 1 (32:37):
Work. And it's funny too. There's like there are cultural
differences of course, yeah, and you have to be like
like sometimes when you're like, well gay, you know, insert
gay joke here about our culture, and that's sort of like,
well does that apply, Like there's something where you have
to be like, there's like a translating element, yeah, and
vice versa.

Speaker 2 (32:55):
I also think I want work on a theory that's
like first order gay stereotypes and second order gay stereotypes,
and the same for lesbians, because I think the first
order of gay male stereotypes, let's say, are okay, what
are they? It's like obsessed with sex like love's fashion, spears,

(33:19):
fashion like whatever. And then the second order is like,
for example, a very specific kind of neuroticism. It is
body dysmorphia, deep sadness, a deep sadness. It's like sort
of a using your own like intellect and literacy as

(33:41):
a defense mechanism, you know, And those second order stereotypes
are actually so interesting. And I think what often happens
is that gay men know the first order lesbian stereotypes,
which are you know, cargo pans, suba ru being and
like building things, lesbian bed death, all these things, and they,

(34:07):
you know, dumb gay guys. We'll see that, and then
it will like make them almost homophobic towards lesbians, and
it will turn them off from lesbians. But if but
all the second order lesbian stereotypes are actually are are like,
you know, an attention to community, being sober, curious, hot

(34:28):
luck culture, hot luck culture, and all of that, we
have so much to learn from. So I think there's
a there's historically been a laziness on the part of
gay guys, and I think a lot of this is
very much portrayed in media like Will and Grace, where
like when lesbians exist in Will and Grace, it's always
as a punchline m hm. And I think once we
go into the second order stereotypes, we can have some

(34:49):
real conversations.

Speaker 1 (34:50):
Have I told you my theory that New York is
gay guy town in la is Lesbiantown.

Speaker 2 (34:55):
I'm one hundred percent.

Speaker 1 (35:00):
Actually, like it's so interesting where I'm like, oh, this
is like a habitat where lesbians thrive and New York
is like a place where gay guys think they run
the literal government. Like yeah, it is such an interesting difference.

Speaker 2 (35:12):
And it's like even the most straight, blonde yoga going
Chica in La actually is deep down to lesbian.

Speaker 1 (35:23):
Yeah, it's it's a it's a lesbian town.

Speaker 2 (35:26):
It's a lesbian town. It's a lesbian town, and you
like you.

Speaker 1 (35:30):
To Wow, that was really good.

Speaker 2 (35:35):
That was good. Okay, oh this is fun.

Speaker 16 (35:40):
My last Christmas I saw George in line for a
Kiki and Herb show, and my question is whether he
prefers Peaky a Herb or trustin Vie and Bond. And
my second question they have are there any other New
York traditions that you both like doing, maybe like going

(36:03):
to every year?

Speaker 2 (36:04):
So the part that I thought would be fun is
are there New York traditions we both like? I do
want to say this was submitted before just Vivia Bond
one of MacArthur's Genius grants, So shout out.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
Wow, really ahead of the curve. Mine aren't like I'm
trying to think, like I I've only done this once
and I've probably talked about it on the podcast already.
But I went to the UH and I okay. So
I was listening to WTF with Mark marin shout out

(36:36):
and Sigourney Weaver was on That's why I was listening,
and she was talking about the train show in the
New York Botanical Gardens that they do for Christmas, and
she is like on the board or something, and she
was like, it's actually so fun and I love it
and I go every year, and I was like, this
actually sounds really up my alley. And I went to

(36:59):
the show the New York Botanical Gardens and I had
the best day of my entire life. It was like
they make like replicas of New York City with like
little twigs and like pine things and then little trains
go through it. I was like genuinely like moved. I
was like, this is so cute and fun. And so
actually last year, when I got this job and I

(37:22):
had to come out here very quickly, like the thing
I was, I was like so sad because it was
in December, and I was like, but I haven't gotten
to go to the Train show yet. Oh, and I'm
still like, you know, I We're going to Meesha's parents
for Christmas and they're in upstate New York, and I'm like,
maybe there's a way we can swing by and I
can get closure and go to the train show. Damn, Yeah,

(37:45):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (37:46):
Well. I do actually like going to kikin Herb every year.
I mean, they hadn't done it in a very long
time until a couple of years ago, but then since then,
I've gone every year. I do really like going to
Matt Rogers's show. I think it's so much fun and
I know all the songs. At this point, I like
going to Lincoln Center as much as possible, whether that

(38:09):
means going to a movie there or going to well,
I was about to say the Ballet, but I honestly
have not been to the ballet. But I have been
doing an opera there around this time, and it feels
very festive. I do not to be the most basic
bitch on earth, but I do try to go see

(38:30):
the tree at Rockefeller Center at least one day during
the holiday season. You know, the Rockefeller restaurant scene has
been updated and Jenna Lyons was famously a consultant on
The Big on the Big Revamp. I didn't know that,
so we have heard a thank My favorite restaurant of

(38:50):
all of those, or one of my favorites is low Di,
which is sort of like across from there, and it's
very fun to go to and have a little martini.

Speaker 1 (38:59):
And oh god, God, I miss New York.

Speaker 2 (39:03):
I know, well, okay, here's something that is not good,
and yet every year I still go. It's so flop.
Which is the Union Square Christmas Market.

Speaker 1 (39:11):
It's so flop.

Speaker 2 (39:12):
It's so flop. But every year I'm like, oh, but
it's fun, like there's lights everywhere, and maybe I'll buy
a little something, you know, a little Christmas ornament. And
it's always flop.

Speaker 1 (39:21):
It sucks. It puts me in a horrible mood. I
can't get that. Well, that was sweet.

Speaker 2 (39:27):
That was sweet.

Speaker 11 (39:27):
Okay, Hey, so I have a question. As a gay
I definitely have a close friends group on Instagram, and
it's mostly thought picks what a straight people have on
their close friends, because I keep having straight friends asking
me if they can be on my close friends and
they're definitely not trying to see my asks. So what

(39:48):
do you think that they have already. Thanks so much.

Speaker 1 (39:52):
This is an amazing question. This is difficult because I
have no idea the only do you have an answer?

Speaker 2 (40:02):
Yeah, it is baby picks, it is food picks, it
is dentist recommendations, dermatologist recommendations.

Speaker 1 (40:13):
It's a space to be like basic and boring. Yeah.
What I don't get is, like, what I've never understood
is the point of a close friends. If you're like
a normal person, like yes, if you have like one
hundred thousand followers, like sure, you'd need a place to
actually post for your friends. But if you have like
four hundred followers, it's like just post, where can I

(40:36):
get a dentist around here?

Speaker 2 (40:37):
No, because you your mother in law could be following you,
your coworkers could be following you.

Speaker 1 (40:43):
They just know that you need a dentist.

Speaker 2 (40:46):
Okay, here's another one. I think even just like going
out footage. I think, let's say you work in a
more buttoned up environment, but you're going to the sweat tour.
You don't want, you know, Marla from accounting to see that.
Mm hmmm hmmm. And so maybe that is something a
little more. And I also think sometimes people just it's

(41:10):
almost like an alternative to a group chat, like they
just want something that's for like seven people.

Speaker 1 (41:15):
Yeah, no, that's true. Well I wish they would just
post their own ass pics. I agree, and then live
out loud for once.

Speaker 2 (41:25):
I also want to say, Okay, I want to say
I should be There should be a menu, and I
should be able to opt into people's close friends. They
can accept me if they want, but like, I know
there are people out there who just haven't thought of
adding me in them.

Speaker 1 (41:40):
It's also like, it's very the politics of a close
friends actually makes me so uncomfortable, and I like weekly
panic and be like, wait do I add these people?
Do I take out these people? Like? Are like friends
upset that they're not on my close friends because I
only use it to post underwear picks? Or are they
like happy that they're not. I'm like, this is I

(42:01):
don't want them to like have their feelings hurt, but
it's confusing.

Speaker 2 (42:05):
One of the most iconic moments that we've had with
our dear friend Max Wittard is when he said something
about someone's close friends and then I was like, oh,
I'm not on it, and then he just goes, yeah,
he probably doesn't want to fuck you, and then I
was like in a bad mood that day and truly
got offended and wouldn't speak to him for like three hours.

Speaker 1 (42:23):
That is amazing.

Speaker 2 (42:25):
Oh god, that's good. Okay, Hello, Oh my.

Speaker 12 (42:28):
God, this is so exciting.

Speaker 13 (42:29):
I definitely called a first time and hung up because
I got nervous.

Speaker 5 (42:34):
So this is my.

Speaker 2 (42:34):
Second time trying to get hi.

Speaker 13 (42:38):
My name is loved It, longtime listener of hard time lover,
and I have two questions for you guys to kind
of like service level appetizer question. So the first one,
I recently just started my first full time job as
a quiet teacher, and I have a really long comuth

(43:00):
and that's only come out with one so weak and
approximate issue PATRIOTSOS of Month. So I need more than
listen to you in the car. So what are your
artists and albums and music recommendations right now? When are
you guys listening to new or all the matters? And
then the second question is I've recently been kind of

(43:23):
addicted to making and eating soup, and so I want
to know what is your relationships to soup? Do you
eat a lot of it?

Speaker 12 (43:34):
Do you make it?

Speaker 13 (43:35):
You eat it up in hand and you eat it
grown up. They were kind. Okay, that's all I got.
Loved you guys in a very cool and normal way.
So you come to Kansas City. I'm desperate. You will
guaranteed to have one cool straight for all and his
boyfriend and the audience.

Speaker 12 (43:53):
Okay, thank you buy?

Speaker 2 (43:55):
Okay that call. I'm like, I'm in the holiday mood somehow.

Speaker 1 (44:00):
No, I'm actually it's so comforting to hear people's voices.

Speaker 2 (44:03):
Yeah, like the openness and excitement and I it just
like really warmed my heart in a way that I
was not expecting.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
Yeah, that was nice. And in fact, I was like, wait, George,
we should do a show in Kansas City, Like.

Speaker 2 (44:17):
There was something about it.

Speaker 1 (44:17):
I was like, no, we have to. Okay, First of all,
I fucking hate soup. Whoa really soup pisses me off?

Speaker 2 (44:29):
What about stew?

Speaker 1 (44:30):
I love a stew? Oh?

Speaker 2 (44:32):
Interesting? So you just don't like something overly watery?

Speaker 1 (44:34):
Oh I don't want to drink. I want a meal.

Speaker 2 (44:38):
You hate a cream based soup like a butternut squash
creamy soup.

Speaker 1 (44:42):
That's the closest I can get.

Speaker 2 (44:43):
But what about a French onion soup?

Speaker 1 (44:46):
I don't know if I've ever had it.

Speaker 2 (44:47):
Actually, Oh my god, Sam, you would love it. It's
just onions and cheese. Mama.

Speaker 1 (44:54):
How do you feel about soup?

Speaker 2 (44:55):
I like soup. Soup is one of those things, almost
like sandwiches, where people get so into them that you're.

Speaker 1 (45:02):
Like, oh, I like.

Speaker 2 (45:03):
I like them in a normal way, like I do
like soup, but it's not like I'm crez Like as
soon as the temperature hits a certain temperature, I'm like,
oh God, like I'm coming because I'm thinking about soup.

Speaker 1 (45:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
In terms of my favorite soup, also, I have to
say I love having a soup as a course in
a dinner.

Speaker 6 (45:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (45:27):
No, I like that. I like when it's like a
little side thing.

Speaker 2 (45:30):
Yeah. And I also frankly liked little This is actually
a disagreement we had with Alice, or I had with
Alice in Roman when she was on because she hates
soup as part of a dinner party. But I'm like
a little shot glass with a little amuse bouche that
to me is partying.

Speaker 1 (45:48):
I love your shot glass of soup idea. I think
it's amazing.

Speaker 2 (45:53):
Do you like Gaspacho No, I ultimately don't really either.

Speaker 1 (45:57):
I'm always like, this is like almost salsa but not.

Speaker 2 (46:00):
Well, it's also like put some vodka in it, let's
get a bloody marriage.

Speaker 1 (46:04):
Yeah, I don't like it, and I wish I did.
Like it seems like something I would like, but I
don't like it.

Speaker 2 (46:10):
Yeah, I want to say, you know, if anyone out
there wants a supercommendation, there's a Greek soup called which
is a chick, very lemony chicken soup that often has
rice in it as well, so you can look that up.

Speaker 1 (46:25):
What was the first part of the question Again.

Speaker 2 (46:27):
It's just like what music we're listening to? And I
have to say, I'm just going to be completely honest here.
I am not in a huge music discovery phase right now.
So Sam, I'm gonna let you take charge.

Speaker 1 (46:37):
Well, I'm in a similar position as this caller where
I'm commuting. I'm finding myself commuting more and needing things
to listen to, and it is complicated. I'm I'm in
a way I'm like more open. I'm sort of in
a music exploration phase in a way that is like confusing,

(46:58):
Like I'm not like going back and like being like,
let's listen to the discography of I don't know why
I keep referencing I'm like Bob Dylan Like, I'm like, no,
I'm like for some reason, I'm like, oh, what's that
Toblo album that I never listened to from approximately three
years ago? Like, and I'll like listen to that. I'm
trying to like fill in like weird gaps. I've also,

(47:19):
you know, I'm more open to different podcasts, but it's
hard to because you really like fall in love with
the host and if you don't like get along with
them in your mind, it's like a bad mixture.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
I have to say I've been I've been not prioritizing music,
and one of my maybe it's too early to make
yours resolutions, but one of my resolutions, I think is
to see more live music because it used to be
such a huge part of my life and I don't
go to shows anymore.

Speaker 1 (47:44):
That's a good goal.

Speaker 2 (47:46):
I recently discovered that Chico that everyone likes uh uh
nilufer Yanya. Yeah, am I saying that right?

Speaker 12 (47:59):
No? You?

Speaker 1 (47:59):
I don't know, but this is funny because people have
been talking about her and I have not listened to
the album yet, but I saw her on a billboard
in La and the name like I forgot if like
Mish and I had taken edible or something, but we
just kept saying like nieluf Yanya, like over and over
a yeah, And so I'm it's funny that she makes

(48:21):
She's like a real person that makes good music.

Speaker 2 (48:23):
Yeah. And then the other person that I'm having Chapel
Roone syndrome, which is when Chaperone first, when that album
first came out, and I suddenly realized every single person
I know has been seemingly rooting for this girl for
ten years and I had never heard of her. And
I'm having that effect with Liam Bensv. Who's that when

(48:46):
I tell you every single person we know has been
like posting up a storm about how incredible Liam Bensvy is.
To be clear, I have not pressed play on any
of this music, and I'm sure I would like it
because I have similar taste to these people. But I'm like,
where is everyone finding? Like I think I need to
switch up my media consumption when it comes to music.

(49:07):
I'm not finding the right things.

Speaker 1 (49:09):
Yeah. Yeah, it's tough. It's a tough journey. I also
want to say, like I mentioned this, Christopher Owens, the
lead singer of Girls who makes solo music now the
person someone who does this pr reached out and sent
me his album early, and I'm loving it.

Speaker 2 (49:29):
Oh my god, I love that.

Speaker 1 (49:32):
And then I'm I'm I think part of my journey
also is because LA doesn't have seasons. I'm like trying
to invent fall. Like right now, I am like listening
to Bonie Vere and being like, let's like create fall.
I need to feel I need to fake it a
little bit like listening to like Soufian albums, listening to

(49:54):
I'm trying to like invent a mood.

Speaker 2 (49:57):
Yeah, I've been listening to a lot of the Cranberries
and literally just pressing play on just like their Spotify
channel and being like, take me away.

Speaker 1 (50:07):
That's fun. Oh, I'd have to say, did you listen
to the Gaga Harlequin album at all? No? I no,
I'm not advocating for it at all, but I hit
play for like ten minutes and I am curious. It
was making me l O L. I was like, this
is the funniest thing I've ever heard, because it's just
like you got into a studio and you did this,

(50:29):
Like you know, sometimes we're doing a podcast and someone
has to like hit record, and we're like a little
bit embarrassed at the things that we say, while like
someone is just listening to us, and I'm like, how
did she not feel shame when like someone had to
hit record.

Speaker 2 (50:44):
Here's something that's interesting about Joker. I sort of expected
it to either be a huge hit or like a
massive flop, and there's something happening where I actually think
in a shocking twist, it just is down the middle,
like it's sort of like, oh, this is awkward, moving on.

Speaker 1 (51:03):
It's just boring.

Speaker 2 (51:04):
Yeah, crazy crazy. Even the album, you would not call
it a flop. You would just call it like it
doesn't exist. It's like when Beyonce did the Lion King album.
Yeah it doesn't count as part of her discography.

Speaker 1 (51:17):
Yeah, it's really bizarre.

Speaker 2 (51:23):
Okay, next question.

Speaker 12 (51:25):
Oh my god, how cool to talk to you directly.

Speaker 17 (51:28):
Hi, gay guys. This is gay girl Amy from San Francisco.
I can't remember what I'm to say on this, but
I do think you're right when you talk about how
the Patreon is better than the podcast, although both are wonderful,
and I'm wondering if you should just go straight to
friends chatting. Bye.

Speaker 15 (51:49):
I appreciate you.

Speaker 2 (51:50):
Okay, I thought this was juicy.

Speaker 1 (51:53):
What was the question not to be The question was
like she.

Speaker 2 (51:57):
Is like, should we go should the podcast become friends
just chatting, and should we abandon the guest format the
straight topic format. Oh, which obviously we're not doing that,
but it is like it's something I think about, Like
we do these Patreon episodes that are just us talking

(52:19):
and then often at the end we're so happy to
have gabbed for an hour and a half.

Speaker 1 (52:25):
Yeah, well this is an interesting In the real episodes,
I really value humor and trying to find something funny
and like do a bit, and then the Patreon we
like don't necessarily hunt for that laugh as hard, but
in a way that you know, sometimes people like like

(52:49):
it's hard for me to put value on it because
I'm like, well, I didn't try, I didn't think of anything.
I was just chatting.

Speaker 2 (52:55):
It literally is not part of my comedy career. It
is just me having a phone call with my friends.

Speaker 1 (53:00):
Yeah, so it's confusing, but yeah, sometimes we can do that.

Speaker 2 (53:06):
I think it's more comfortable because there's no pressure to it.
And I also would I also want the podcast to
be about something I think there's enough podcasts out there
that are just people chatting. Yeah, but yeah, we go

(53:27):
back and forth a lot about doing more episodes without guests,
even just because it would make our lives easier, because
booking guests takes time.

Speaker 1 (53:35):
Yeah. Well, podcast is one of the hardest jobs anyone
can have.

Speaker 2 (53:38):
If not the hardest jobs.

Speaker 18 (53:42):
Okay, Hi, Sam and George Emily from Vermont calling in
to plug the discord and also ask a question.

Speaker 4 (53:50):
So, if you have to pick.

Speaker 18 (53:52):
Another gay guy animal type, think in otter, think and bear.
What animal would it be and what traits would it represents?
Thank you and I'm excited to be calling in.

Speaker 1 (54:02):
Bye hmm, that's an amazing question. I want to talk process.

Speaker 2 (54:09):
Okay, So there's.

Speaker 1 (54:10):
Two ways you could approach this. You could just think
of a random animal and then justify with the type
of gay guy. But I really do want to think
of the type of gay guy that has not yet
been defined an animal, and I want to give them
an animal. Okay, here's something I'm thinking of. You know,
when people are like really like lanky and tall and

(54:33):
like because they're not twinks and they're not bears and
they're not otters, that needs something like that needs like
Josh and Aaron kind of like Josh and Aaron, like,
what would that like storks or like storks maybe they're storks.

Speaker 2 (54:52):
Yeah, well because it's not flamingos. Yeah, flamingos is something
flaming goes. It's like your bellied answer. Yeah, so storks storks? Okay,
but then it's like there's there's child rearing, right exactly.
And also you know, Josh and Aaron are hot. They're
not like some.

Speaker 1 (55:13):
Bird, right, So.

Speaker 2 (55:17):
Like slender Man, that's a slender Man grapes?

Speaker 1 (55:24):
Is there an animal like I'm almost like salamander, Like
I'm like, there's something.

Speaker 2 (55:30):
Tree, trees, you can the Lord of the Rings. And
actually ense is just like tall gay guys And I
don't think Josh and I think you have to be
uh more like gigantic.

Speaker 1 (55:48):
Yeah, okay, what animals? Here's my.

Speaker 2 (55:55):
Yes, nick a cobra A cobra. What I was gonna say,
this is not so much a physical appearance thing, but
I do wish there was. I want like a term
for the kind of gay guy who's like randomly everywhere
and no one. I actually think it's the cockroach. It's like,
no matter how much you swap them away, they always

(56:16):
pop back up. Yeah, and they're just like at somehow
at every event, and they're not like, this isn't someone
oh everyone hates. Like it's not someone everyone hates. It's
just someone people are neutral about, and yet seemingly never
sleeps and is out all the time. And it's it's
always very it's always this like, wait, who's he with again?

Speaker 1 (56:37):
Yeah? Cockroach, maybe even like termite. There's something about like yeah,
like where it's like, well, it's not gonna hurt you,
but it's like, but I totally want it here. Yeah,
it's like should we do anything about it? And it's like,
honestly not really like there's something to it. Okay, okay,
not our best answer, but you know, life is a

(56:58):
work in progress.

Speaker 2 (56:59):
Yes, okay, we're okay. Wait, let me play this iconic
call that I want to end on. Okay, this one's big.

Speaker 10 (57:05):
Okay.

Speaker 13 (57:06):
I have two questions that are amazing. The first is
is is this problematic? Or am I problematic? And the
second is what's going on with me? Can of stangl
analytically your perspective? So to give the context, So I

(57:30):
am a thirty something.

Speaker 8 (57:34):
Queer, let the.

Speaker 13 (57:36):
Anish woman, and I am married.

Speaker 11 (57:43):
To a straight guy, very straight this guy.

Speaker 13 (57:47):
But first kind of serious spirit relationship before that, mostly
with women. And I live in kind of a yeah
with it because like Bolderie, Portly, the off city kind

(58:10):
of city that I actual kids, and I have just
come to terms with the fact that I am kind
of obsessed with gay guys. I listened to a lot
of podcasts with gay guys. I stand a lot of

(58:31):
gay guys. I think when I was younger, I used
to want to say gay guys, and so I wondered, like,
but a long, yeah, I'm really that I am, I like,
actually a trans guy who wants to be a gay guy.

(58:52):
I don't think I really like being a woman. I
really like being married to my husband. But I kind
of yeah, I like, I kind of feel like I
stand gay guy culture in all the forms that it takes.

(59:14):
So I'm wondering, what's going on? Is that problematic in
my other exoticize as to happen?

Speaker 2 (59:31):
Okay, okay, I mean this is the biggest question of
them all.

Speaker 1 (59:35):
This is like sort of a this is a big
cultural question. First of all, I want to say, You're
not alone there. This is like a thing that is
happening right now. That is complicated where women are standing
gay guys in a huge way. And I know it's
always kind of existed, but it's like, in the way
that gay guys stand pop stars, women are standing gay guys.

Speaker 2 (01:00:01):
There has been this influx of openly gay men in
the culture, some of them actual celebrities in pop culture,
some of them very niche creators and podcasters, Okay, And
that never existed before. Yeah, like or when it did,

(01:00:22):
it was like one person that everyone was like, look
at him, like George Michael, like Elton. It wasn't Elton John.
It wasn't this community based thing in the way that
we have, for example, a bunch of different actresses and
they are in movies together, and a bunch of pop
stars and they collaborate, and oh, Beyonce is doing a
song with Lady Gaga and Chapel is doing whatever. And

(01:00:44):
so to me, the two most interesting things happening in
terms of the relationship between women and gay men are
a women standing gay men. B gay men suddenly becoming
interested in women sexually.

Speaker 1 (01:00:58):
This is happening in a huge way. I feel like
it's funny to meet a woman right and say that
it's funny to meet a woman right now because I
feel that there are certain women that I can feel
them being the type that will be obsessed with gay guys,
and you can almost feel them hungering for you to
like be gay, which I know is like, this is

(01:01:20):
not a new thing necessarily, Like Tyler Kates had the
web series My Disappointing Gay Best Friend, which is kind
of exploring this. But I do feel it more now
than I did in the past, and sometimes I do
feel disappointing. Like sometimes I don't get me wrong, I
can say a bitchy thing about you know, Sabrina Carpenter
or whatever, and they're like doing cartwheels for me. But

(01:01:44):
when I like when for example, I'm like a little
tired that day and I can't like nail, Like if
like if I'm like just going to get a water
and someone's like, what are you getting, mama, and I'm
like water and they're like, oh, like there is I
can the disappointment.

Speaker 2 (01:02:01):
Yeah, Okay, Here's the other thing that has happened is
that gay through it quite frankly, things like drag race,
things like gay people on reality TV. I think, you know,
gay mood you know, whatever, things that used to be
like an inside joke or an in group language among

(01:02:24):
people in the community are now out there, and so suddenly,
you know, random straight people feel compelled to talk about
like bottoming and topping and that that part is new,
or like the way people use the word twink is
often very confusing to me.

Speaker 1 (01:02:46):
I agree, I agree, and.

Speaker 2 (01:02:51):
It's I almost think maybe what it is is in
the same way that gay guys have gone from knowing
first order lesbian stereotypes second order lesbian stereotypes, suddenly straight
people went from knowing first order gay stereotypes the second
order gay stereotypes, and suddenly we're talking about topping and
bottoming and muscle queens and yeah, like even just like

(01:03:15):
the the way like gay guy open relationships and how
that's now discussed and girls can be like, oh yeah,
my gay guy friends are always fucking.

Speaker 1 (01:03:26):
Yeah. And there it's a double edged sword, because sometimes
that's a good thing, and sometimes you're like, I wish
they didn't know that. I also have been feeling like,
because of this like obsession with gay guys from women,
I feel like a certain gay privilege that is sort
of weird. Where I used to you know, in like comedy,
when you're in an open mic and you're gay. In

(01:03:48):
the year twenty thirteen, it was like kind of a
thing that it was like, don't worry, I'll show you
that even though I'm gay, I'm funny and like now
it's very much like you meet people and you're like
they just are like, no, we love you already because
you're gay, and it's like, but that's I didn't do
it yet. I didn't do anything. I don't deserve it.

(01:04:08):
There is just like a straight up privilege, and that
is weird. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:04:14):
I also I do think gay men, going back to
the days of you know, having a gay BFF, gay
men are just this like neutral identity for straight leaning
women where they are not they are. It's this person
that they neither feel like they're comparing themselves to or

(01:04:37):
they're competitive in any way, nor do they feel sexually
attracted to. And to be clear, it goes both ways.
That's why gay men are so drawn to straight women too,
and that is almost why all the more problematic parts
of it are so covert, because you're like, oh, what
could go wrong, Like, there's nothing that could go wrong.

(01:05:00):
We can't say anything offensive to one another. We can't,
you know, sexually harass one another, nothing like it's a
perfect crime. And then suddenly you'll say either gay men
will say something insanely misogynistic or straight women will say
something inst the omophobic, and you're like, oh no, you ruined.

Speaker 1 (01:05:17):
Yeah, it is funny. The obsession. The obsession. Yeah, with
gay guys and straight girls. It's like just fuck already.

Speaker 15 (01:05:25):
Hmmm.

Speaker 2 (01:05:26):
But to this person's point, I really don't think you
need to worry too much about your own identity and
what it means for your own identity.

Speaker 1 (01:05:32):
I mean, no, you're fine.

Speaker 2 (01:05:34):
It's sort of like it's like it's like, guess what
if you like pop culture from a certain racial or
ethnic group, you're not transracial. You're just enjoy jazz mama.

Speaker 1 (01:05:49):
Yeah that makes sense to me. So pop on, heartstopper
and live your life.

Speaker 2 (01:05:55):
But by the way, you are the backbone of the community,
and there would be no pop cats if it weren't
for you. Oh truly, all right.

Speaker 1 (01:06:05):
I unfortunately have to run.

Speaker 2 (01:06:06):
I know, you know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna
pick some other calls and have them play after the
credits as tributes to them, even if we don't have
a chance to answer them.

Speaker 1 (01:06:14):
Okay, Well, thank you to everyone who called in. We
really appreciated it was fun and we're excited to see
you in New York on Saturday.

Speaker 2 (01:06:22):
Yes, come to the Bellhouse on Saturday. Yeah, we can't
wait to see you. Okay, and we love you. We
love you. Bye bye, Sam and George.

Speaker 12 (01:06:32):
My name is Jake.

Speaker 6 (01:06:33):
I'm from Austin, Texas. I'm calling because I'm in a
little bit of a conundrum. I identify as gay, and
I love man. I think they're beautiful. My subconscious is
constantly attracted to them. Blah blah blah. Okay, but there's
this one woman that I started working with, and for
some reason, there's just this subconscious attraction.

Speaker 11 (01:06:54):
To her that I have.

Speaker 6 (01:06:56):
I never really fill this with women, it's extremely rare,
but with her, I just think she's the most beautiful
woman in the world. I see, I stare into her
eyes and I feel seen. There's just this magical energy
when I interact with her. And this is usually exclusive
to men that I meet, so I'm much a little

(01:07:16):
bit confused. A part of me is taking I am
potentially bisexual or pant sexual and that I should pursue
this urge to get to know this beautiful woman better.
But a part of me is terrified to even attempt
to think about that because I've always considered women as

(01:07:39):
not a part of the dating field, and I have
no idea how to even attempt to date a woman, flirt.

Speaker 1 (01:07:48):
With a woman.

Speaker 6 (01:07:48):
It's a whole thing that I've never really even wanted
to engage in. But now that I have this feel
into it just feels way too new found. It feels
like when I was gay in the closet again. I'm
in the closet for women, and I don't know if
I should just hide in the closet for this woman
and pretend like it didn't happen for the sake of
my own self identity and comfortability with what I know,

(01:08:13):
or should I embrace this new found by sexuality and
trying to get to know this lady better. The other
thing is she is extremely beautiful, and, in my honest opinion,
probably way too beautiful for even me if I was straight,
or if she had any interest in me. I think
I'm just not handsome enough for someone at her level.

(01:08:37):
That being said, obviously, that's insecurity talking and whatever else.
But she really is just like on another league in
terms of beauty, intelligence.

Speaker 11 (01:08:46):
She comes from well with all these things.

Speaker 6 (01:08:47):
So like, I felt like even if I was a
straight man, I probably would not have the courage to
pursue her. So yeah, I guess my question is, now
that I have a new found to a woman that
I know, should I pursue this bisexuality regardless of my
insecurities about it or my lack of knowledge or comfort

(01:09:09):
in it. Or should I just stifle it as if
I was a gay closet man and pretend that my
attacking carr doesn't exist and just stick with what I do.
That's something that I've been curious about if I should,
if I should branch out into into women, because again
it's I'm like a nervous teenage boy that's never kissed well,
I mean, actually I have kissed a woman.

Speaker 12 (01:09:30):
But Hi, George and Sam in a sert of earnestness,
I'm calling from Philadelphia to tell you that I am
an old ass woman. I am forty six ten years old,
firmly jen as George, unlike you to justice acts gen X. Occasionally.

(01:09:50):
I don't know if it's because I have COVID right
now and like my defenses have been brought down by
this little virus. But I just wanted to call and
tell you guys that you guys are me so happy.
I love your podcast sometimes. I know it's Sunday night
and Monday's coming, but I don't feel so bad cook
Tuesday there'll be Austradio a love episode. And I know
that's super cheesy and not cool at all to say,

(01:10:15):
but I mean, how could a forty six year old
woman who's alive and let's say it with me the
seventies be cool. You can, so it's fine, but you
guys just made me laugh so hard. And I'm on
pay training stuff and I wish I got the discord
a little better because I'm little old. I mean, I
just feel like it's not for me because I'm not

(01:10:37):
that gemo, but I like to read it sometimes, and
you guys have just created a really nice community online.
I'm actually a straight woman too, Whi's embarrassing, but it
is true. But I just love you guys, and I
want to say thank you for being fun and funny
and open and honest and really just making me happy

(01:10:58):
every time I listen to you. So again, this could
be to COVID talking, but it's also just meeting your host. Okay.
I love you guys. You're the best. Thank you for
your great podcast, and that's it. Okay.

Speaker 6 (01:11:11):
Bye, Hi gay guys.

Speaker 14 (01:11:13):
I was just assumed a Patreon and I had the number,
and I decided to call this the morning I went
to matt Square Garden last night. I saw Charlie to
have some choice of on Sweat Tour. Charlie brought out Addison,
Ray and Lord. And when I tell you that, I
was sobbing, crying, screaming and shaking, squealing.

Speaker 6 (01:11:36):
Laughing, all with delight when these powerful women were on
stage together. Let me just tell you that it was amazing.

Speaker 14 (01:11:43):
Is like firming feeling dehydrated this morning, but you guys
are helping and bring me back to life.

Speaker 6 (01:11:53):
And it's going to be a beautiful week.

Speaker 4 (01:11:56):
Bye.

Speaker 8 (01:11:58):
Hi version Sam. I'm a new subscriber, but a long
time listener to new subscribing to the Patrion. I guess
they should say, and I'm gonna say that the episode
George retapping your wedding did make me cry, not only

(01:12:18):
to just hear you talk about like the wedding and
what it meant and the family and all that, but
also like.

Speaker 19 (01:12:28):
The two of you talking about your friendship. I think
it was so beautiful and.

Speaker 8 (01:12:36):
I think that's been such a journey from the first episode.

Speaker 19 (01:12:40):
It's been so sweet to be a listener and you
are the best, and so I'm my guests is being
earnest to you that I feel very grateful and lucky
that we get to listen to your guys' friendship every week.

Speaker 17 (01:12:57):
I'm not alone.

Speaker 2 (01:13:00):
Want more, Subscribe to our Patreon for two extra episodes
a month, discord access, and more by heading to patreon
dot com. Slash Stradio Lab.

Speaker 1 (01:13:10):
And for all our visual learners, free full length video
episodes are available on our YouTube.

Speaker 2 (01:13:15):
Now get back to work.