"Conspiracy Theories" w/ James Adomian

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Who do you who? Okay, you are going to want
to sit down and listen to this intro because there's
about to be a mind blowing amount of new information.
First of all, tickets to our New York in Chicago
shows in October are selling fast. I repeat, they are
selling fast, so make sure to get those while they
last at linktree dot com slash Stradio Lab. We'll be

(00:20):
in Chicago next Sunday, October sixth, and then at our
home at the Bellhouse in Brooklyn Saturday, October twelfth. Okay. Second,
if you're in Los Angeles, Sam is hosting a very
special Sam Tagrit and Friends at Dynasty Typewriter on October
nineteenth at seven thirty pm. And finally, the big announcement,
it's that we finally have a call in line. That's right,

(00:42):
a call in line. It is three eight five Gay Guys.
I repeat, you can call three eight five gay Guys,
gay g u y s and you can call with requests, comments, concerns, confessions,
really anything. But for now we are a fish soliciting
earnestness bonanza questions, So get those in by the end

(01:03):
of this week if you want to hear them on
the pod. All right, lovea enjoy the show.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
Podcast starts out, Hello all and welcome. Hello. We are
at a rushed pace because well.

Speaker 1 (01:34):
Well because I was late. Just say it. You're so
desperate to call me out. First thing on Mike, Sorry, Well,
guess what, I have things to do. I was in
a hurry. It wasn't my fault. It was a train.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
Okay, which is it? Was it the train or did
you have things to do? Well?

Speaker 1 (01:50):
I guess I guess it's both because I had things
to do, which is why I didn't give myself a buffer,
and then the train made me even more late. And
so I'll own up to that. You know, it's not
my fault. Kathy hokeal can't get her a little cute
little butt on her train seat to make the subways work.
I want her driving the train.

Speaker 3 (02:08):
Get her in the seat and make her drive the
damn train. George, how do you feel when you're running late?
How how does that process for you?

Speaker 1 (02:17):
I actually today caught myself. I was on the train,
and I caught myself out loud saying come on. I
was like, damn, when did I become this guy?

Speaker 2 (02:29):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (02:29):
That's fun though, I because I love watching someone who
is insane and you're like, well, that could never be me,
and then you get a little peak at how it
could be you and you're like, wow, okay, so it's
just circumstance.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
No, I would say that I'm I really have been.
I felt very liberated to be publicly insane recently in
a way that actually has been I think overall good
for me because I have I have a freelance thing
where I'm going into Penn station three days a week,
and actually the things you see around there are so,

(03:03):
you know, just diverse, for lack of a better word,
just a diverse array of behaviors. I think I saw
someone wearing and I'm not talking I'm not saying any
I'm not saying this in like a problematic way like
oh my god, look at what New York has become.
I'm talking about like just a person wearing shoes that
have beanie babies attached to them as a fashion statement.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (03:22):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're seeing all. There's lots to
take in.

Speaker 1 (03:25):
Yes, there's lots take in.

Speaker 3 (03:27):
I mean you know how I feel. I feel that
when you are late. Sorry, keep going, Am I interrupting you?

Speaker 2 (03:33):
No?

Speaker 1 (03:33):
I'm just saying that because of that, because I feel
myself as part of this, like I would say cast
of It's almost like I'm in a theater company where
everyone is doing clowning or something. That's what it feels
like to be in the Penn Station community. And so
I have felt empowered to be my most kind of crazy,
authentic self because everyone around me is also being crazy. Yeah,
it freaks the weirdos of Penn Station, and I actually

(03:56):
do think you know, they they say, oh Times Square
has changed. Guess what, go to Penn State, because the
things you see outside the just Salad, you know, would
make that Maggio jillen Hale show about Times Square look
like fucking sesame straight.

Speaker 3 (04:08):
Yeah, I mean, Dime Square is over. It's all about
Penn Station. Oh, Times Square is over. It's all about
Penn Station. That's where all the great artists are. I mean,
people are experimenting in ways that people can't even imagine.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
It really is incredible.

Speaker 2 (04:23):
You know.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
We talked last episode about how there's a Robertas in
Penn Station.

Speaker 3 (04:26):
And we thought of that as a bad sign and
we should have seen that as a since actually.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
A flowering of I mean the culinary arts are just
as fundamental as the podcasting and improv arts. I mean,
the things that I'm telling you this is the future
of New York is Penn Station.

Speaker 3 (04:42):
Stamp of approval. I do think losing your mind is
so much more reasonable in New York, because it's not fair.
You can't lose your mind while you're driving a car
here because then you're just running into things.

Speaker 1 (04:55):
But you can lose your mind actually when you're in
the back of a.

Speaker 2 (04:57):
Newber Oh, now that's true.

Speaker 1 (05:00):
I think you can be very much like like, there's
this ostentatious way that LA people can, for example, be
on speakerphone in the back of an uber and be
like cursing and name dropping while this poor man is
driving them to you know, the Getty Museum so they
can jump off.

Speaker 3 (05:18):
Yeah, no, that's true. And I actually am finding it
fun to be on speakerphone in the car, like while
I'm driving and be like and just like have like
an important conversation, but be like what the fuck like
just yell at the cars that goes by. I'm like,
now this biaks a picture.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
I actually am again this is another part of my
new Penn Station vibe. I love being on speakerphone in public,
something that I used to judge others for doing. I don't.
I'm actually very close and I'm not even kidding to
starting to listen to music and podcasts on speakerphone on
the train. I think I'm a few weeks away from that.

Speaker 3 (05:53):
Well, I do think there's something where it's like, if
it's very if you can't beat them, join them, Like
like you can get mad at people being really loud weird,
or you can just be really loud and weird. This
is the same seats reclining on the plane. Just everyone
reclined your seat. Everyone's no one's mad anymore?

Speaker 1 (06:09):
Yeah, no, I actually you know so much of our
podcast has always been reclaiming normal. We're like, can everyone
just be normal?

Speaker 2 (06:16):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (06:17):
And I think I mean not to make any grand statements,
but I'm like, are we moving away from that? We
are we officially endorsing not being normal?

Speaker 2 (06:25):
Well, it's an election year.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
Should bring our sad?

Speaker 2 (06:33):
Should we bring in our guest?

Speaker 1 (06:34):
I think we should bring in our guest?

Speaker 2 (06:38):
Well?

Speaker 3 (06:38):
What is there to say about our guests? He is
incredible to die for. We're thrilled and honored, and he
has a new special out right now called the Path
of Most Resistance.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
I nail that.

Speaker 4 (06:49):
Give it up for James Adomian. Thank you, thank you, Sam,
thank you George.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
You know, James, as white gay men in comedy, we
could never do anything if it wasn't for the path
that you trailblazed.

Speaker 4 (07:05):
Well, you have to flip some pun, and that was apparent.
There was a list of things there was like wet
gay I ultimately they most of them involved me being
like sloppy or broken, and this was the one where
it was like, well, no, it just sounds like it's
kind of complaining that no one would give me a

(07:27):
special for so so now that's that's so. I was like,
I went with the pun of least defense.

Speaker 1 (07:35):
I really like the but I really liked the punt
and I think it's actually really difficult to pull off
a pun, and it's one that I haven't heard before,
and I think it works on multiple levels. Whereas I
thought of one the other day that I was like,
this would be a really good fake and I'm sure
someone has used it. But okay, Tour de farce, Oh good,
my god, my comedy special. Tour de Farce.

Speaker 3 (07:58):
That's very like late career, like people have you've been
extremely famous, and then people like don't really care about
you anymore. But then you have this one special called
Tour de Farce.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
Big Well, it's Bill Maher, it's Bill Maher coded absolutely.

Speaker 4 (08:13):
Tour de Farce, and it's him in like a spotlight
looking up. Yes, exactly, that's like all of his postings.

Speaker 2 (08:21):
We're like, am I the only one that gets it there?

Speaker 3 (08:25):
Really is that the Bill Maher don't look up in
your photoshoot challenge and he fails it every single time.

Speaker 1 (08:31):
Tour de Farce is very religious, which is his documentary
about how he's the first person to discover that religion
is bad.

Speaker 4 (08:39):
Yeah, it also sounds like the bull quote on a
Broadway show poster in the subway station.

Speaker 2 (08:46):
It's a totally spam. A lot would have that.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
Yeah, talk about another good pun, spam a loot.

Speaker 2 (08:55):
Well, not to be a bit, but tradio lab is
also a pun.

Speaker 1 (08:58):
That's true.

Speaker 2 (09:00):
Oh you know what I'm done?

Speaker 1 (09:04):
Well, he's walked down, aren't you so glad? Sam? That
we didn't end up going with straighter things or other options?

Speaker 2 (09:09):
Was it going to be straighter things?

Speaker 1 (09:11):
It was definitely on the mood board.

Speaker 3 (09:13):
I would say the first episode was sort of us
being like, welcome to I don't know what this is
called yet, and then we were sort of there was
straighter things. There was stradio lab. There were like a
few other options that I stradiology, stradiology.

Speaker 2 (09:26):
Stradiology department, Yeah, stradiation goodness, stradiation sick. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (09:33):
We eventually this one. We settled on this one. Naming
things is hard.

Speaker 4 (09:38):
It is, and I turned my phone off, but I
keep a list of this because I don't. I'm not
like a title factory. But sometimes I'll be, you know,
walking around and a pine cone falls on me or whatever,
and I'll go, oh, there's a there's a title there.

Speaker 1 (09:51):
Wait, James, I do that too. I literally have a
notes app that's just titles.

Speaker 2 (09:56):
Titles.

Speaker 1 (09:56):
Yeah, and not even for it's not even for something specific,
Like some of them are more dramatic. Some of them
would work for like a play versus special versus something else.
But it's literally it. I wait, I'm like, do we
want do we want to get away?

Speaker 4 (10:10):
Or just like I don't want to give them away
because people will steal them and make more money off
of it than I will, of course.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
But titles and names comedy a comedy club.

Speaker 4 (10:25):
I thought of like a like a like a tough
guy comedy club, laughbully.

Speaker 1 (10:30):
Okay, let's see the final hurdle. No, that's not a
good one.

Speaker 2 (10:37):
What was that? Was that a special? Was that a book?

Speaker 1 (10:40):
What was that supposed to know? That I was thinking of,
Like I was thinking of good names for like a
black comedy play almost like a sort of imagine like
a dinner party that goes wrong and then everyone kills
each other. Like so I want it to be like
almost like uh, really dramatic, but in like a camp
be like. Another one I had was the endless drama

(11:02):
of Loss as a colony special Well no, no, as
like as like a play, oh a play, like a
comedic satire play.

Speaker 4 (11:12):
I was of one that almost used for this for
what became Path of Most Resistance. Another one was high
in contention was out liar as two words.

Speaker 1 (11:22):
Oh yeah, that's good. You know it's almost how and
then you're like, I remember when.

Speaker 4 (11:26):
I'm not I'm not telling it truthfully. Yeah, and I'm
out of the closet.

Speaker 1 (11:32):
They When I was in college, the the LGBT group
for the law school was called Outlaw Oh.

Speaker 2 (11:38):
Oh wow, that's not bad. That's actually very good. I
hope they.

Speaker 4 (11:42):
Did like publicity photos where they dressed like Willie Nelson
and Johnny Cass from this.

Speaker 1 (11:48):
Well, well, you know how gay guys in law schools
are always doing photo shoots to promote the student group.

Speaker 4 (11:55):
That's the first thing I think of, Well, what would
their publicity photo be?

Speaker 3 (12:00):
That is sort of like, were there enough gay guys
in law school to have a group that needed to unionize?

Speaker 2 (12:06):
Well, first of.

Speaker 1 (12:06):
All, it wasn't just gay guys. I know, I just
said gay guys, but it was sort of the entire
GBTQ plus community. Okay, I ever like queer people.

Speaker 3 (12:13):
I can't believe you just pulled out the rug. You
literally set me up to fail for that one. You're
like this group of gay guys, and I'm like, gay guys?

Speaker 1 (12:19):
By do I even those just gay guys? Do you
do you not think fifty percent of every law school
classes gay guys?

Speaker 3 (12:26):
Well, I just feel like, but when you have fifty percent,
then it's like, well then you don't need a group.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
Like then it's like, okay, now you're gripping the script.

Speaker 3 (12:36):
If we're not fighting a little bit, we're not we're
not doing straight yoh, yeah, that's true.

Speaker 2 (12:42):
So interview.

Speaker 4 (12:44):
Is it like that for other postgraduate programs or is
it law school more than anything?

Speaker 1 (12:50):
I know, there's definitely a business school one. Oh god,
it's like out. Everything is like out for business. It's
like out to like stand out, stock outions, no, hold on,

(13:13):
hold on. Well, the word out is like the most
inclusive and pun flexible word because everything else you're focusing
on one thing, like even anything around like same sex.
It's like, well what about bisexuals?

Speaker 2 (13:30):
Right?

Speaker 1 (13:30):
Right, right, So it has to be you know.

Speaker 2 (13:33):
Oh, at least you're out. It's a flexible hook. And
although I've we're not going to find all is.

Speaker 1 (13:39):
Yeah, I've always thought we need to reclaim being closeted.
We've talked about this before. Yeah, well it's people should
people should be like, yeah, I'm the first closeted Oscar
winner I have.

Speaker 4 (13:50):
I used to do a bit like that where I
was like, I am I'm a closeted comedian.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
I'm American.

Speaker 1 (13:56):
I think that's literally why it was in my mind.
Didn't you post it recently?

Speaker 4 (14:00):
I probably did where Yeah, it was like where it's like,
I'm a closeted comic.

Speaker 2 (14:03):
You know yay.

Speaker 4 (14:04):
A guy said I want to suck your dick. I said,
never mind what I said. The point is words were.

Speaker 2 (14:09):
Exchange talking about I'm a closeted comic, talking about what
may or may not have happened.

Speaker 1 (14:20):
I mean that is like sort of don't you think
that is sort of the affect of like the Democratic Party.
It's like being very confidently, like acting like you're making
a really grand pronouncement, but then not quite saying anything.

Speaker 2 (14:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (14:37):
Bill Clinton was the best at that, when there's his
masterful speech where he was like.

Speaker 2 (14:42):
I I'm aware of what you have said.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
Yeah, or like my favorite is let me be clear,
like just saying let me be clear and then being
the least clear anyone has ever been.

Speaker 2 (15:00):
Be clear. Okay, that's the Oba. It's then Obama. It's
the Obama.

Speaker 1 (15:04):
Well it is, but it's now become it's now everywhere.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
I saw Malia Obama at a restaurant.

Speaker 1 (15:10):
Oh my god. First of all, she's going by Melia Anne.

Speaker 2 (15:14):
Oh sorry, I saw Malia Anne at a restaurant. That's
her name.

Speaker 1 (15:18):
Well, she premiered a short at Sun Dance and didn't
want you know, I think wanted to reinvent herself, and
so I think it was. It's directed by Malia Anne.

Speaker 2 (15:29):
Oh, okay, I'll take it. It was juicy.

Speaker 3 (15:31):
I was sort of like it was one of those
celebs where it's like not a celeb and you're like, wait,
what do I why? Why why do I know this person?

Speaker 2 (15:39):
You know? And you're like, God, only in LA and
it's like, well, not really, this is not weird, Like
actually not in LA. She also spends a lot of
time in Penn Station.

Speaker 1 (15:49):
Yeah, she's sort of a mayor of Penn Station.

Speaker 2 (15:53):
Well that's where she's practicing her politics.

Speaker 1 (15:55):
Right exactly.

Speaker 4 (15:56):
I loved that. I love hearing about that. By the way,
being publicly outside or like be having an interior private
life where you have you have to be in a
shared space because it's New York.

Speaker 1 (16:08):
Yeah, No, there is something about how like after so
many years here, I'm finally like, oh I see what.
The way to do this, like the way out of
the constant anxiety you feel is to just like allow
yourself to be part of the part of the cast.
You can't be seeing yourself as like, oh I am
the protagonist and everyone else is trying to ruin my day.

(16:31):
You have to just be part of the wave.

Speaker 4 (16:34):
This is the lesson of This is the lesson of
many great works of art, including the TV show The
Prisoner from the nineteen sixties where's he's it's the British
TV show where he's a spy who resigns from I
six and then he ends up knocked out and he
wakes up in this prison island where it's a very
comfortable prison basically, and you can't get out, and then

(16:54):
the whole series is him trying to escape or like
figure out who has him because he doesn't know if
it's the British or the Russians. He doesn't know which
side has kidnaped him because they won't say and uh.
And then he realized and by the end of it
he has to he's the only way out is to
become the guy in charge of the place.

Speaker 1 (17:11):
Oh interesting, So I guess I haven't tried to be
in charge of the Penn Station community. I've I've only
succumbed to being a member of it, you know. But
maybe the next step is kind of unseating Malia Ann
as the as the Empress of Penn Station.

Speaker 4 (17:26):
Where am I You're in Penn Station. Who are you?
You are number six, George.

Speaker 2 (17:34):
I have a question.

Speaker 3 (17:34):
Do you feel comfortable dressing horribly when you like go
for a walk around your neighborhood? Like, oh yeah, I do, okay, definitely,
because when people aren't comfortable looking bad around their own neighborhood,
that really stresses me out because that's.

Speaker 2 (17:47):
When they're not you feel uncomfortable for them.

Speaker 3 (17:50):
I feel like hofortable for them because I'm like, this
must be hard, Like, how do you feel dressing like
shit outside of your apartment?

Speaker 2 (17:58):
That's what I did today.

Speaker 4 (18:00):
This is how I came to a podcast like this.
This is the look. This is the look everybody. It's
I'm I'm wet. I'm wet when it's cold, when I'm sweating,
constant sweating, Yes, wet when it's cold.

Speaker 2 (18:14):
It's it's you'll if this.

Speaker 4 (18:16):
It's very apparent and the Special my cousin made fun
of me and called it path of moist Resistance.

Speaker 1 (18:22):
Who there's all that's good?

Speaker 4 (18:25):
Right, Yeah, it's too. I wish you were here six
months ago. It's this spreading sweat pattern that just basically
takes over.

Speaker 2 (18:34):
The whole shirt.

Speaker 4 (18:35):
By the end of it looks like it looks like
a paras site has taken over the organism and now it's.

Speaker 1 (18:40):
Like it, don't you think that's so classic, Like Robin
Williams like that. It's like that's so classic comedy special.

Speaker 2 (18:46):
So that's so. Maybe that's it.

Speaker 4 (18:48):
When people are like, you reminded me of Robin Williams,
they're not saying you were funny. They're saying you look
like a sweaty, fucking hairy mess up there. So now
you've defeated this compliment. But I get all the time.

Speaker 2 (18:59):
No, it's so wrong. It's just you're so focused on
the comedy, you know.

Speaker 1 (19:04):
Sure, yes, but also, I mean I also think I
like seeing effort on the stage. I actually I really
don't like. I mean, whatever we have. I know many
many people are amazing deadpan comedians, and I would never
disparage them. Sure, that's not what we're saying, but I
but to see someone actually.

Speaker 2 (19:23):
Be like if he did, it would probably work.

Speaker 1 (19:27):
To see someone like truly almost die on stage because
of how much effort they're putting into something, that's what
it's all about.

Speaker 4 (19:34):
Yeah, I've always liked as far as performers who influenced me,
I've always been attracted to the sort of like Eddie
Peptone Todd Glass Angle where totally you're all over the place.

Speaker 2 (19:50):
Yeah, I go back and forth.

Speaker 3 (19:53):
I really I feel sort of binary in my approach
to comedy, where sometimes I'm being like either the loudest
and like, you know, literally doing songs and running around,
or I'm like just sort of being normal and quiet,
and I'm like, which I wish I could be somewhere
in the middle.

Speaker 4 (20:12):
Do you ever recalibrate the I'm just talking shop now
we can turn turn the mics off and turn the
podcast back on in five minutes. Do you ever recalibrate
your set for like the You're like, this audience is quiet,
so I'm gonna be quiet, or like these guys are drunk,
I'm gonna like act, I'm gonna play to it. I

(20:35):
sure as hell do you do?

Speaker 1 (20:36):
I definitely I have an easier time with the latter,
Like if I'm noticing an audience being rowdy, I'm like, great,
like let's play, Like I can talk to them, I
can like go out, I can go on a tangent.
I do have more of a difficult time when I
notice they're quiet, because what am I gonna do like
become quiet myself.

Speaker 3 (20:55):
I think when they're quiet, I'm like, okay, I'm just
gonna riff because I'm almost like I'm not gonna tell
you jokes because if you're not going to respond to them,
then that's okay.

Speaker 4 (21:02):
I do this thing that and I'm just saying this
is something that doesn't work, and I'm not going to
stop doing it. So it's this technique where I will
just like lay back and take all the energy down
half or even more and just act like I'm sort
of like, oh, it's just kind of coming up with
this and like whatever, and like oh you like that,

(21:24):
Oh what do you know? Maybe that works, but they're
they're like killer bits that really work in other audiences.
But I'm just like I'm just like soft selling it
and then then.

Speaker 2 (21:34):
They're like, oh he actually is now again this has
never worked. It doesn't work. I just don't have any
other ideas, you know. What I kind of do this
with people.

Speaker 3 (21:43):
I'm learning is like when I think people are really
cool and I have to like talk to them, I'll
be really like I'll try like it's something I can't stop,
where I'll be like.

Speaker 2 (21:56):
Yeah, I'm like doing this thing and it's like and
it's like not, it's not flattering. They don't like it.

Speaker 3 (22:03):
It seems like I'm not being warm, and yet I
can't not do it.

Speaker 2 (22:06):
You want?

Speaker 4 (22:08):
How often do you have someone that that grabs you
by your lapels and goes?

Speaker 2 (22:12):
You got nothing to be ashamed of, your child of
God and your art? Is it matters? I need that
every single day?

Speaker 1 (22:23):
Do you think, Sam, would you say you have social anxiety?

Speaker 2 (22:28):
I don't. Well maybe.

Speaker 3 (22:33):
I think I think everyone has it to an extent.
I don't think it's part of my identity.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
No, I don't think you're like, oh, God, awkward person
in the corner.

Speaker 2 (22:42):
I'm not Blurg. That's for damn sure.

Speaker 3 (22:44):
I Blurg is our shorthand for sort of you know,
someone's like, I guess I'm an adult blurg.

Speaker 1 (22:53):
Oh I guess this is normal. Now, so that's a thing.

Speaker 2 (23:00):
So we call that blur. May you made up a
thing for it? It's so great.

Speaker 1 (23:05):
I guess I made up a thing. Oh, I guess
now that's a thing.

Speaker 4 (23:10):
Oh wow, that is like a particular Oh it's.

Speaker 2 (23:14):
A male phone type.

Speaker 1 (23:15):
It's the type. But also I hate to uh speak
in generational platitudes, but it's also a type that's very
like elder millennial, like that what that defined elder millennial
humor is, So I guess that's a thing.

Speaker 3 (23:29):
Yeah, but it's almost gone out of style in the
way where I like miss it, Like I I sometimes
I'm like, damn, who's going to bring it back?

Speaker 1 (23:35):
We can't go back.

Speaker 4 (23:36):
It sounds like the kind of people that ran Twitter
for like seven years exactly.

Speaker 1 (23:41):
Yeah, that's exactly what it is. And I think that's
why maybe we feel a connection to it because that
was in many ways, Like I don't want to say
we came of age during that eric because I think
we're a little too old for that. But there I
think we like our sense of humor thrived in the
sort of golden era of Twitter. So I'm not ready
to let go of it completely, even though it now

(24:02):
is so embarrassing to me.

Speaker 4 (24:04):
Can you imagine a person like that in real life
where they go into a coffee shop and they're like this, yeah,
this is everything, So I guess we're paying this now.

Speaker 2 (24:19):
Wait.

Speaker 3 (24:19):
My favorite is but I actually should say that when
with the price of these coffees in Los Angeles, I
swear I see US seven dollars and I'm like, I
guess we're paying this now?

Speaker 2 (24:29):
You you should be an elder millennial blurg. I'm blur.

Speaker 1 (24:33):
I'm pretty to criticize the blurg.

Speaker 4 (24:37):
It merely to play at level one, one must become
the king of the Blurg.

Speaker 2 (24:40):
I'm self hating blurg.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
That's literally me and Penn Station is becoming king of
the Blurg. The other day, I heard You're not a
real person for the first time in a while, like,
you are not a.

Speaker 2 (24:51):
Real person, and I was like, oh, I love I
love that. Why am I like this?

Speaker 1 (24:56):
Why am I like this?

Speaker 2 (24:57):
That's funny?

Speaker 1 (25:00):
My favorite the gay guy specific rid of this, which
I always think is fun is when someone will post
like a photo of them truly in like jeans and
a T shirt. But then they'll be like, not me
serving Disney Pixar, Dad.

Speaker 2 (25:14):
Will that one songs? But George, I have to say something.

Speaker 3 (25:17):
Last week, when I was dressed as a NASCAR driver,
famously people this, I wore a shirt that had the
word It was a Wrangler shirt and had the word
Wrangler all over it, and I wore like cowboy. I
was like kind of in costume, but it was like
what I was wearing for the day. I'm experiment and
were you playing or you're just saying you looked like

(25:39):
I looked like a NASCAR driver And I was just
sort of going about my day dressed as a NASCAR driver,
and I, you know, I felt like I was like
so okay people. I did get called out when I left,
like cause one I post a picture drivers like I
looked like a NASCAR driver and someone commented like, oh,

(26:01):
gay guy wears button down and says like I'm serving Mama,
And I was like, that's not it.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
I do look weird. Like I got called out for
doing the Pixar Dad thing.

Speaker 1 (26:09):
I have to say, say, you're like insistence that you
looked so crazy? What's so funny? Like you just have
to like it is. It's definitely like it's like an
extension of your existing vibe, which is sort of playing
with signifiers of Americana, if you will.

Speaker 3 (26:26):
But George, someone stopped me on the way into the
gym and said, like looked me up and down and
was like, excuse me, are you some kind of horseman?
And like he was like shocked and confused. And this
was like a fifty something guy who was like.

Speaker 2 (26:41):
Leaving the gym, he meant, like you work with horses?
He literally was like he was literally do you work
with horses?

Speaker 1 (26:47):
And I was like, because I'm sorry that in that
situation he is the weird one, like you are a
gay guy, uh, commenting on Western aesthetics going to the gym,
asking me if you work with horses?

Speaker 4 (27:02):
Sure, I don't want to step on any tunes. Are
you a horseman as I am?

Speaker 2 (27:08):
But with you.

Speaker 3 (27:10):
Sometimes I actually wish he was hitting on me. That
would have been amazing.

Speaker 4 (27:14):
That's funny that that's what the that's what the gay
sex is like in in the gym sauna, but way
out in horse country, like in Chatsworth or the north
part of Burbank.

Speaker 1 (27:24):
Maybe a horseman is a.

Speaker 2 (27:26):
Are Yeah, a horseman is friend of.

Speaker 1 (27:31):
Dorothy, Yeah, exactly should Sometimes I don't serve a segment.

Speaker 2 (27:39):
I don't serve.

Speaker 4 (27:39):
Sorry, I'm gonna say this serve looks any better. I'm
a terrible server. I was fired from all those jobs
when I was younger, and so like I got fired.
I got fired one time because I spilled like day two,
I spilled coffee, hot coffee on an old man. You know,
not it didn't injure him, but it made angry and

(28:01):
and so uh like that's that's the kind of looks
that I'm serving, like disastrously, Like you no longer work
at Quizno's kind of thing.

Speaker 3 (28:08):
Have you ever been like, you know what, like, have
you ever been like I'm doing a makeover on myself
and then been like nevermind?

Speaker 2 (28:13):
Like wow, yeah, of course of course I have. I
want to know where the journeys are.

Speaker 4 (28:20):
Well, I mean where it's like, uh, I play with
I play with mustaches and eyeshadow and and hairstyles, and
I'm like, oh wait, but I have to do I
have to play a character in five days, so I
always have to look like like neutral, nothing.

Speaker 2 (28:38):
Right, right? Right?

Speaker 4 (28:38):
I can't playing with my shadow I do sometimes, I
mean yeah, I mean I used to know that really
a long time ago, but.

Speaker 2 (28:46):
I used to.

Speaker 4 (28:47):
But I have to look, I can't. I can't do
certain things because I've gotta show up and be some.

Speaker 2 (28:53):
Idiot because you're a blank slate.

Speaker 4 (28:54):
Yeah, it's gonna be a blank locked into being a
blank fucking slate with all these stupid care that I
still do.

Speaker 2 (29:01):
They're not stupid, Well.

Speaker 1 (29:03):
James, don't say that about seriously, I.

Speaker 2 (29:06):
Would love it.

Speaker 4 (29:07):
I would love to grow a permanent beard and become
a ring guy. Oh like they have like lots of rings,
and be one of those people. And this is there's
not many gays like this, but I want to be
the one. I want to be like the one in
my circle where it's like where it's like, are you
doing let me tell you something about rate and how

(29:29):
radio business works, like a ring.

Speaker 2 (29:32):
Guy who gives advice.

Speaker 1 (29:33):
Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. I know exactly what you're
talking about. And as you get older, as I've gotten older,
certainly the ring calls to you in a way you
are like, ah, all these things that as a you know,
as a twenty three year old, twenty four year old,
there's such signifiers of like almost like creepy older gay guy.

(29:54):
But then as you age into it, you're like, I
gotta buy rings I have.

Speaker 4 (29:58):
I really do call one thing that happens because I
this happens where people go, you know, oh, that's your look.
Why are you trying to look like an aging hipster?
And it's like, no, this is there's very few things
that won't make me look like an aging ampster. I
have to wear the glasses, and so it's like I'm
locked in, and you realize that there's as you get older,

(30:21):
you're not deciding things. There's like a funnel that you're
falling into slowly. Yeah, and you're like, what side of
it am I going to slide down?

Speaker 2 (30:30):
Yeah? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (30:32):
I think part of my Western thing is like just
seeing what like a reset, like being like what if
I what if I don't what if I start fresh?

Speaker 2 (30:40):
What if I knew? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (30:42):
Yeah, well, I mean you could be openly gay too.
I mean, yeah, I moved out, moved out here to
Nevada with my husband a couple of years ago.

Speaker 2 (30:52):
We liked the land, you know, privacy, lowed sex, James,
that's my literal fantasy.

Speaker 4 (31:05):
You mean like a like a cartoon improvised character. Literally, Okay,
you like you like Nevada Horseman.

Speaker 3 (31:13):
Nevada Horseman is like up there, that's like that's real
high up there.

Speaker 1 (31:17):
I mean, I do think what I'm waiting for, Sam
is like the final step of this transformation is cowboy hat. Daily,
Like before leaving the home, you put on a cowboy hat.

Speaker 3 (31:28):
Well, it's gotta it's it's gotta be a long transition
because if you go too quick. People are people are
gonna call me out, and I'm gonna get online hatred, so.

Speaker 2 (31:36):
I have to do slowly.

Speaker 1 (31:38):
I think what you I think, maybe what really made
you so aware of your horse outfit is rather than
having like one horse accent, you did three. It was
like shirt bells and cowboy boots.

Speaker 3 (31:51):
Yeah yeah, yeah, I mean I really was feeling confident
after because I was like, oh, it was stupid. You know,
when you're trying a new outfit, of course you're self
conscious at first, But when that man stopped dead in
his tracks, I was like, I was right to be
self conscious.

Speaker 2 (32:06):
Now was he doing like that stolen velor you know?

Speaker 3 (32:09):
I honestly couldn't understand the wine man he cause the
he the moment I walked in, he was like taken
aback and like gave me the up and down in
a way that like I think, but he didn't say
it angrily. He said it with curiosity, like maybe he
like wanted to meet a cowboy his whole life, and

(32:29):
like like I was gonna be that for him, where
he was like.

Speaker 2 (32:35):
The fashion has finally twisted my direction?

Speaker 3 (32:38):
Yeah yeah, yeah, and yeah, when I had to tell
this man like No, I'm just.

Speaker 2 (32:43):
Dressing for fun like that really hurt. That really didn't
feel good.

Speaker 4 (32:47):
No, I'm actually just dressing to be like a lunatic,
like a weird guy.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
Sham, I want, I wish we could do this social
interaction over again. He's the one being weird for asking
if you're a horseman, like you should have just responded
like what are you a questions man? And then just
walked right into the gym.

Speaker 3 (33:06):
Bitch, he said, And then he'd say, well that horseman
was gay. Yeah, well by gone, that horseman was damn
a bitchy gay guy.

Speaker 1 (33:15):
Okay, wait, we need to do our first sem so
that we can get into our.

Speaker 2 (33:20):
Topeque topeaque.

Speaker 1 (33:27):
So James, Oh, where's mine?

Speaker 2 (33:29):
James?

Speaker 1 (33:29):
Our first segment is called straight Shooters, and in this segment,
we test your familiarity with in complicity and straight culture
by asking you a series of rapid fire questions where
you have to choose this thing or this other thing.
And the one rule is you can't ask any follow
up questions about how it works, and if you do,
we will yell at you.

Speaker 3 (33:45):
Sam go okay, James, FK twigs or mgmt's kids kids whoa.

Speaker 1 (33:53):
James, Katie Perry flops again, or doing a Hail Mary
and then saying amen.

Speaker 3 (33:59):
Hail Mary aw Man, Okay, James, Robert Maplethorpe or thorn oakenshield.

Speaker 1 (34:06):
Maplethorpe, objects and mirror are closer than they appear. Or
making an error that's detrimental to your career.

Speaker 2 (34:14):
I'm making an error that's detrimental to your career. Okay.

Speaker 3 (34:18):
A stake at carbone or a hey on your carphone.

Speaker 1 (34:22):
Steak at carbone, egg on my face, or begging.

Speaker 3 (34:27):
For grace, begging for grace, okay, scientology or I have
got to pee.

Speaker 2 (34:36):
Scientology.

Speaker 1 (34:39):
Iron Lady, the Fearless Girl, or the wonder Woman, Oh Lady.

Speaker 2 (34:44):
Iron Lady.

Speaker 3 (34:46):
Wow, amazing, George, what would you rate James's performance?

Speaker 1 (34:52):
I think that was a perfect I mean, I don't
know my being too. I was about to say that
was a perfect performance, but now I'm trying to think
were there any was Is there anything I would have
done differently?

Speaker 4 (35:03):
Can I say that I just love the Iron Lady
is Margaret Thatcher? I believe, of course I love that
that was her nickname. That someone was like, She's the
Iron Lady, and it was a compliment. They they no
one saw it as a terrible insult. Yeah, she's a
lady made of iron.

Speaker 1 (35:19):
Was it supposed to be a compliment, well she Yeah,
it's like she's strong, she's strong strong.

Speaker 2 (35:25):
It sounds like she was married to the iron cheek. Yeah,
I get it.

Speaker 3 (35:29):
I get iron lady confused with iron curtain.

Speaker 2 (35:32):
Well, that's what for modesty. For modesty, she would do
her changing. She wouldn't iron curty.

Speaker 1 (35:37):
She would change behind an iron in.

Speaker 2 (35:39):
Her iron bedroom. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (35:42):
Yeah, it's like the her she's ad with the chocolate cow.
Everything was kind of iron in her world.

Speaker 3 (35:48):
Oh oh yes, of course, like she's cow.

Speaker 2 (35:54):
No, that checks out, of course.

Speaker 4 (35:56):
You know these reverences. So that was my test for you,
Iron lady or chocolate cow.

Speaker 1 (36:02):
Oh, chocolate cow cow.

Speaker 2 (36:05):
There you go.

Speaker 1 (36:07):
Wait, I'm really eager to get into the topic because
I think it's a juicy one.

Speaker 3 (36:10):
Yes, okay, James, tell us what your topic is today
and say a little bit about what makes it straight.

Speaker 2 (36:15):
Okay. So I think it's conspiracy theories.

Speaker 4 (36:16):
I think gays are underrepresented in them, and I'm gonna
say this is the ridiculous. But in mainstream the conspiracy culture,
of course, off off screen, off of the Internet shows. Sure,
there's conspiracy theories everywhere you go that's gay because we're
human beings, of course, share some fucking tendencies and but like,

(36:38):
but like when you when you're into like, oh, these
are the conspiracy guys, there's not there's not a there's
not a well known gay one.

Speaker 2 (36:46):
Yeah, there's there, you know it. So that's that's the
short version.

Speaker 1 (36:50):
Yeah, you're talking about like info wars, Yes, like Alex
Jones whatever. Yeah, I mean the stereotype, of course is
that gay guy conspiracy theory or not to limit to
gay guys, but gay conspiracy theories are all about like,
they're all about celebrities, they're all about who's having an
affair with who, they are all about true, Oh, these

(37:10):
two people on this TV show, there's actually lore that
they like are gay.

Speaker 2 (37:14):
It's like gossip column thing.

Speaker 1 (37:16):
It's exactly it's gossip column and it's fan fiction. Like
it's fan fiction gossip column like projecting onto you know,
Kate Winslet that she secretly has you know, hates Nicole
Kidman or something like.

Speaker 4 (37:32):
It's if Alex Jones had been gay, he would have
been like blind item folks.

Speaker 1 (37:37):
Yeah, well, blind item exactly like tabloids blind items like
that is a gay conspiracy theorizing which.

Speaker 2 (37:46):
A certain a certain operation, a certain operation.

Speaker 4 (37:52):
That that the initials are A and Q maybe funded
by a certain organization. It's a three letter organization. And
then like two weeks later he fills in what it means.

Speaker 1 (38:02):
Yeah, I yeah, there's part of me that's like, why
can't gay people think of more substantial conspiracy theories, Like
why like let's have some confidence and be like the
election was rigged.

Speaker 3 (38:16):
Well because there's no glamour in politics. I really feel
like in the same way that straight eyes really are
obsessed with history and and like knowing how maps work,
Like gay guys cannot care about that.

Speaker 2 (38:31):
There's something history and maps.

Speaker 1 (38:36):
We can't be we can't be promoting that stereotype.

Speaker 2 (38:39):
No, I can't.

Speaker 3 (38:40):
But I just mean like straight eyes like casually are
obsessed with it, like right, it's like specific.

Speaker 2 (38:46):
A people of course care about it.

Speaker 3 (38:47):
But street eyes like the standard are like it's actually
a really interesting battle.

Speaker 4 (38:52):
Where you're like, you know, the you know, the gas
and purchases would establish the border in.

Speaker 1 (38:57):
Exactly Mexico, and guys fetishize facts famously that's like their
favorite thing to do is to like learn one fact
and then think it describes their entire worldview.

Speaker 4 (39:07):
So I do think the Treaty of West Folly is
going to establish the precedent for well, you know, modern
state of Germany, well.

Speaker 1 (39:13):
The exact way.

Speaker 3 (39:15):
And I think a conspiracy theory is just a you know,
contemporary version of that. And it's like wanting to get
ahead of the history story. Mm hm oh, it's kind
of how I feel about it.

Speaker 4 (39:26):
So it's like it's like fan writing your own Yeah. Yeah,
I think all I want to do now that you
said that gays don't do maps in history, is all
I want to do is cast you in Like I
want to have a scene where there's like it's the
gay Department in like World War two, and they're like, well,
we have to figure out how we're going to do

(39:46):
D Day.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
I've assigned it to us.

Speaker 3 (39:49):
I mean honestly, there if someone's like, okay, we're going
like this is a problem. Sometimes I can't tell if
things are because I'm gay or because I'm like comedy brained.

Speaker 4 (40:00):
Good question, which one is it. You have to compare
your you have to have control groups.

Speaker 2 (40:05):
You have to have unfunny gays and ungay funny funny.

Speaker 1 (40:09):
That is so true though, yes, Sam.

Speaker 3 (40:11):
Because like when I try to do something serious, like
if I was like, if someone was like, Sam, you
have to plan this battle, I would be like fuck,
like like I can't take Even if I were like, you, guys, seriously,
it's time to go to war, like no one would
take it seriously. It would sound funny if I was
if they were like, you're cast as general whatever, and

(40:34):
I would be like, okay, guys, get serious because.

Speaker 2 (40:38):
Tomorrow we ride at dawn. Like it would never sound right.

Speaker 4 (40:41):
But I'm telling you there are so many I do
I am now this is a tangent. I'm there's like,
for example, there's so many generals in the Civil War
that were bad at what they did that you would
be castable as that as like where's their representation as
like a George McClellan, like a generally doesn't know what
he's doing.

Speaker 1 (41:00):
It's like, guy, it is winning. It is just so
true that I don't know. So many historical figures are
so much dumber and more random than they are like
written as in history books.

Speaker 4 (41:16):
Right when you're the actor, it's always like what whatever
the wherever, whatever the world is where you're like, the
history of this country rests in the hands of we
few soldiers here today, and he was.

Speaker 1 (41:33):
It's the Erran's organization of history. It's like literally like
taking things that are completely honestly like random and based
on so many sort of unpredictable everyday things and then
trying to make them into like a simple equation of like,
these are the good guys, these are the bad guys.
He was brave, he was a coward.

Speaker 2 (41:53):
Right, they have to they have to.

Speaker 4 (41:55):
You have to have not only good guys and bad guys.
You have to be you have to be like this
was a This was a good guy that was good
at being a good guy.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
And you know what, I think this is a genuine
I think when like in a few generations, when people
have no actual memory of Trump as a figure that
they that lived on the same planet as them, I
think he will be thought about as like an incredible mastermind,
Like I don't. I think all of the all of
the whimsy and the humor of it will be will

(42:26):
go away, and he will be thought of as this
like crazy, you know, power hungry.

Speaker 2 (42:33):
Well, they say he's like a great orator. That's what
they'll say.

Speaker 4 (42:37):
That's what you say about There's so many people in
history where you can't verify it, where they're like he
was known, like even the Romans, they're like known.

Speaker 2 (42:45):
To be a great orator. Yeah, yeah, we show play
show me the recording, play me a tape.

Speaker 4 (42:51):
Yeah, of of fucking what's his name, Kato the Elder's Christ.

Speaker 2 (43:00):
What a stretch that was.

Speaker 1 (43:02):
But even like Hitler for example, was a complete like.

Speaker 2 (43:07):
Hitler for example, where we go just by himself himself
that like Hitler for example, Like, okay.

Speaker 1 (43:14):
Let's take Hitler, like he was such a sort of
like insane, eccentric, weird like person. He was like on
speed all the time, every in cell, very in cell,
very like not obviously you know, like much like Trump obviously,

(43:38):
like a like a complete scourge on the whole world.
But he wasn't some mastermind. He was just like just
stupid enough to make it work somehow.

Speaker 2 (43:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (43:47):
Well, yeah, Hitler is like what happens when you let
some message board dork get.

Speaker 1 (43:52):
Into exactly everything exactly.

Speaker 2 (43:53):
Yeah, you know that, like.

Speaker 4 (43:54):
Any message board there's some guy who's going, like, here's
what my solution would be and it's like and something wrong. Yeah,
and you put that guy in charge, and then yeah,
that's what he should have that that that just that
there's always going to be somebody like that, but they're
either going to be on a message board or in
a dark corner of a library basement in Hitler's.

Speaker 3 (44:15):
It'll take me a while to get over Well, well,
let's take Hiller for example.

Speaker 2 (44:18):
I know that's really tough one. That's funny.

Speaker 4 (44:22):
I've never heard I want the what's the law where
you lose the argument if you compare, if you bring
up well, I was.

Speaker 2 (44:29):
Trying to think about I don't know.

Speaker 1 (44:32):
I was trying to think of a parallel to Trump, Like,
what's another famous historical villain who is resputant? Resputant?

Speaker 4 (44:39):
No, but I think Trump might, we might be in
danger of people might if he's not vilified enough appropriately.
I think he's gonna go through a Nixon phase where
he's this cartoonish villain.

Speaker 2 (44:51):
Because like, I'm he resigned.

Speaker 4 (44:54):
Nixon resigned six years before I'm born, but he was
still my whole life everyone even to this day.

Speaker 2 (45:00):
It's the funniest, the funny punchline.

Speaker 4 (45:02):
It's like fut drama. Yeah, thirty years later is doing
plots about Richard Nixon, and I think Trump will be
like that. He'll be like Nixon where people will want
to like relive how ridiculous it was, sure, but then
at a certain point it will be like it'll be
like a Teddy, like Teddy Roosevelt, where people are like,
we don't even know if he's good or not because
it's so far in the past.

Speaker 3 (45:23):
I mean the way I feel that about so much
of history. I'm like, yeah, seems like it was on
average pretty okay, Wait.

Speaker 4 (45:32):
Okay, back to conspiracy theories. True, hear me out. I
think there's evidence that they don't want us to get
to the topic. That's why it's not hard radio.

Speaker 2 (45:41):
It goes all the way to the topic heart radio.

Speaker 3 (45:45):
I feel like straight people also, like gay people are
busy with like an active night life and true, and
I feel like straight people like are you know when
they can't sleep and it's Saturday night, It's like, well,
I guess I'll lose myself in the most arranged website
I can find.

Speaker 4 (46:01):
Sure, And you're gonna read something that starts out with
blue text font yes, and then then it turns like
orange and there's like none of it is white or
black text. It's always that colored text, paragraph, paragraph by paragraph,
and you're like, this.

Speaker 2 (46:17):
Is true, this is yeah.

Speaker 4 (46:20):
I gotta, I gotta send this to I gotta who
could receive this information?

Speaker 2 (46:23):
Only the people I trust, we need.

Speaker 1 (46:26):
There's also just no one like okay. So often conspiracy
theories start with like not the stereotype, but it's like, Okay,
things in my life aren't going well. Surely that can't
be because of obvious things like I don't know social
sociopolitical trends like the economy. Uh, you know the fact

(46:46):
that I was born in a certain set of circumstances,
the fact that I made or did not make an
effort to do this or that thing. It must be
something bigger because I inherently deserve more than I have,
and I feel like and that's where a lot of
like deep stuck eight big picture conspiracy theories potentially come from,
or they come from just someone being bored, which is
also pretty straight right.

Speaker 4 (47:07):
And I make a distinction too, because to me, there's rank,
it's not. I get annoyed too when there's some kinds
of like rational freethinkers that are like that's a conspiracy theory,
and there's like a button they pressed to make it
go away to it's like, well, no, there are some
organizations that have secret budgets and assassinate, right, and if
you get the guy drunk enough, he'll admit it.

Speaker 2 (47:28):
But like, but like there's like if it involves.

Speaker 4 (47:34):
If anything involves Aliens or Jews, like you should know
that's obviously wrong.

Speaker 1 (47:41):
Okay, sorry, but I think you're taking the cake. We're
gonna I was the winner of most insane things said
with Take Kitler for example, for example, and I think
if anything involves Aliens or Jews, is actually they Well I'm.

Speaker 2 (47:53):
Trying to be like, those are the craziest conspiracy theories.

Speaker 4 (47:55):
I mean, no, of course I'm putting them in. I
guess I really well, take Kitler for EXAs of course.

Speaker 1 (48:02):
Okay. The other thing with conspiracy, it's like this idea, Okay,
so much conspiracy theorizing boils down to like there's a
shadowy cabal of people that control everything, and that is
at face value true. Yeah, But then but then you
have to, like you have to also approach it with

(48:25):
like a thirst for actual evidence and with a sense
of and with like a foundation of basic knowledge about
the world.

Speaker 4 (48:33):
Yeah, it's not quite that simple, Like they disagree with
each other and there's not it's not like an ethnicity.
It's like, oh, it's probably like ten thousand people. Yeah,
like really really rich. You know, it's it, and it's
that that's ten thousand people. They disagree with each other,
and they have meetings, they have public meetings, they go
to like.

Speaker 2 (48:53):
DeVos and stuff. So it's right exactly.

Speaker 4 (48:55):
It's not in like an underground layer under a mountain. No,
they're flying public and going there.

Speaker 3 (49:03):
I mean there is like the Hollywood element of this
as well, where you're like like sometimes it really feels
like there's like people that like just pick and then
there's people that become super famous and like how how
does this happen? And then you like actually see like
if you're ever on the other side, you're like, oh no,
it's just completely fucking crazy, Like it's not like it

(49:24):
doesn't feel to me anymore. Like there's like just like
a few people you have to do with yeah yeah, yeah,
or you mean the people who have the gatekeepers or
the gatekeeper the gatekeepers, Okay, right.

Speaker 1 (49:36):
So you're saying that's so, then what is the truth
about the gatekeepers.

Speaker 4 (49:41):
I think there's more random I think for this is
an interesting like Hollywood is a microcosm of like human society.
There are gatekeepers, yeah, and there are people who like
have like oh I have a blacklist, like these people
will be shunned or these people will be rewarded, but
they don't have like they're not gods, don't have.

Speaker 2 (50:00):
Like total power.

Speaker 4 (50:01):
Like right, there's like a it's like a dragon sitting
on a horde of coins, and it's like I'm a
scary dragon, and it's like you can go around, you can.

Speaker 2 (50:11):
There's like other ways. Yeah, there's other castles. Yes, you
can just go somewhere else. Yeah, yeah there are, but
you don't have to go through their gate is right exactly.

Speaker 1 (50:19):
And the gatekeepers can be like every time so many
times that I've come into contact with someone that had
like an immense amount of power, I was like, oh no,
this is it, Like it's just someone's nephew.

Speaker 2 (50:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:31):
It literally is just some guy that you know went
to you pen and you someone and then like made
a couple of right choices and was a little lucky
and someone promoted him and now suddenly he is like
forty seven years old, and literally it's his choice whether
or not I can do something right.

Speaker 4 (50:52):
And you and there's like two wolves inside of you
as a performer, where you're like, You're like, am I
gonna be angry about that? Or you could be like, well, yeah,
that's just he probably feels a little bit awkward about
it too, totally.

Speaker 1 (51:06):
I've this is so I feel mixed about this, But
I do think the older I get, the more I
weirdly have, if not empathy, then something like an ability
to identify, at least with people who find themselves in
positions of power without necessarily being some Machiavellian genius. And

(51:27):
then it's like, well, I guess this is my life now,
Like I like all day I have to basically like
tell people I'm killing their dreams but it's not my.

Speaker 4 (51:35):
Fault, right, And then you, like like Penstation or The
Prisoner with Patrick McGowan, you find yourself not even in
a Machiavellian sense climbing up the ranks, but you just
find yourself at it. Oh, now I'm in the next
chapter of the story. Now I'm in the next act
of the play. And you know a little bit more
about how it works the next level of video game,

(51:56):
and you're like, oh, okay, I guess. I guess I'm
here and I'm part of the now.

Speaker 1 (52:01):
I guess we're just gonna be sort of doing the
same thing but with slightly higher stakes. And then that
just keeps going every year forever that I hope you
end up somewhere.

Speaker 4 (52:11):
Okay, that is a funnier and more interesting conspiracy for me,
for whether it's like a superhero movie or like Alan
Moore comic book or something, is like a conspiracy of
people who don't want to be there and don't really
know what they're doing.

Speaker 2 (52:28):
That would be very very interesting. Yeah, are there any
conspiracies that you believe? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (52:34):
Sure, the basic ones. Yeah, Kennedy was killed by the government,
so was his brother, and.

Speaker 2 (52:39):
Uh, this is so fun.

Speaker 1 (52:40):
You believe we ever went on the moon?

Speaker 2 (52:42):
Yes, we went on the moon.

Speaker 4 (52:44):
That's in the category with that's ridiculous by almost design?

Speaker 2 (52:48):
Does does does it fall under alien? Alien?

Speaker 4 (52:53):
Anything involving those things is too crazy to even consider.
But like I see if it's like if it's like, yeah,
I could see it. There's a something to be gained. Uh,
you know, there's a it's a known or shadowy organization
that's can't be audited, like no one can verify, no
one's allowed to look at their records, like okay, yeah,
and then there's a lot of other evidence too. And

(53:16):
I at this point, I'm like, I'm tired of it.
I'm like, yeah, sure, all right, you know they you
get away with killing people sometimes. Oh well, I mean
this is it doesn't end like, it doesn't end like
Colombo or or inspector Cluzau.

Speaker 2 (53:31):
For sure.

Speaker 4 (53:31):
Sure, it's like a lot of people get away with
murders all over the place.

Speaker 2 (53:35):
Oh of course, why why else would you do it
if not to get away with it? Right?

Speaker 1 (53:40):
No one wants to do murder and then get caught.

Speaker 2 (53:42):
Yeah, then it's like why do the murder in the
first place?

Speaker 4 (53:45):
Hello, I mean that is pretty bold. That's like if
you if you are like a competitive public murderer.

Speaker 2 (53:53):
I have to say.

Speaker 3 (53:55):
You know, before we before we started recording, you were like,
maybe conspiracy theories like that be fun. And you were like,
but I'm worready it'll get too dark. And I was like, no, no, no,
it'll be fine. And then we have gone, well consider Hitler,
and then we've gone.

Speaker 2 (54:09):
Like I knew it would not work. I knew this
would not work, and yet there was no other you know.

Speaker 1 (54:15):
It's it's like you ever find yourself like leaving your
body and being like, oh no, this is this is
a video of three men. No, I'm literally podcasting studios
in podcasting studios talking about conspiracy theories, and you're like,
oh no, oh.

Speaker 2 (54:33):
What were it's gonna be. It's gonna be. There's gonna
be a conspiracy theory about this. Is that what you mean?

Speaker 1 (54:37):
No, like we are saying this is such a classic.
It's such a classic, like Joe Rogan thing. It's like,
well a decontextualized clip where it's like you being like, yeah,
of course that was fake.

Speaker 4 (54:47):
If you were gonna be if you were if you're right,
if you take the ticket, if you were gonna be
more like a typical straight conspiracy theory podcast. Sure, well,
I'll be the guy. There would be one guy who
the whole time is just looking at a screen. Yeah,
like no, I'm looking at it now and it says
that they that was publicly acknowledged during the Reagan administration,

(55:08):
it turns out, And then I would be the guy
that just like, oh yeah, hah yeah.

Speaker 1 (55:14):
Yeah, you're the sidekick, You're the Robin Quivers.

Speaker 2 (55:16):
Yeah yeah, haha, uh yeah.

Speaker 4 (55:19):
I mean and then you've got to be vaping and
like you have I don't know, you have hats that
say truth or speech on them.

Speaker 1 (55:25):
Yeah, and then I'm just like the My thing is
like I don't actually pay attention to the details, but
I just want to bring it back to how it
trans People are bad. So so like you're you're saying
something about the moon landing and I'm like, yeah, now
we got Now they're changing people's birth certificates.

Speaker 4 (55:40):
Yeah yeah, yeah, hold on, I see an evidence here.

Speaker 2 (55:45):
I'm pulling up I'm pulling up Reddit.

Speaker 3 (55:47):
You know, it's authority and wow, well I do think
there's sort of what is it You either die a
hero or live long enough to become the villain. That's
sort of what we uh as podcasters talking about conspiracy
theories stepped.

Speaker 2 (56:00):
We stepped in it pretty quickly.

Speaker 1 (56:02):
Yeah, here's what I'll say about thirty minute theories. Something
that is a bit gay. Two things that are a
bit gay about conspiracy theories are okay. One, you're telling
yourself stories in order to live, well, just to say
you're doing a world building, you are doing collective meaning making. Two,
you're finding chosen family. I think a lot of people
who are attraged to conspiracy theories feel very solitary or lonely,

(56:24):
and this is a way of building community, which you know,
it's sort of their sports, right.

Speaker 3 (56:30):
Well, it's also that's the like, that's what I mean
about nightlife. If if they had friends texting them every
Friday and Saturday their night life, they would be like, well,
I don't have time to talk to my message board friends.

Speaker 2 (56:41):
What about like a really.

Speaker 4 (56:42):
Like an AFT, like an after hours like a club
that caters to the conspiracy theory set where it's like
instead of like there's a dance floor, but there's just
like there's just like weird statistics and books on tape
being read like the Warren Report.

Speaker 2 (56:58):
Yes, and we need like and of course there's a
gaming with the beat underneath it. Well, of course.

Speaker 1 (57:06):
Alex Jones on the DJing and.

Speaker 4 (57:10):
You know how people will put like Alan Watts quotes
over like dance music.

Speaker 1 (57:16):
Yes, yeah, there should be.

Speaker 2 (57:18):
You are something the whole universe is doing that.

Speaker 4 (57:24):
You could do that with Alex Jones totally for the worst.
This is the worst nightclub. But why can't imagine I
wouldn't want to go, but but but someone would, But
it would be I would want to I would want
to go once.

Speaker 2 (57:36):
I would want to go one time and film a
few things.

Speaker 3 (57:39):
Sure you mentioned before that Alex Jones considers himself a
performance artist.

Speaker 4 (57:44):
Oh well, that was his defense and one that's his
defense trials, which I thought endlessly hilarious, where they pushed
him on what because he had to say he was
performing in order to get away with saying libelous things.

Speaker 2 (57:58):
Yeah, yeah, And so.

Speaker 4 (57:59):
He had to say his defense was that he was
a performer, like a performance artist, that I'm essentially a
performance artist.

Speaker 2 (58:06):
And because he's he was lying.

Speaker 4 (58:08):
He was lying to the judge saying that those weren't
his real opinions, that it was you know, you know,
it's just I'm on stage. That's the defense, and I couldn't.
I wanted I wanted that to be. I really wish that,
like a theater mask could come off and he'd be like,
I've been playing the Alex Jones character for twenty five years.
I learned. I learned from the greats. I was a
graffiti artist in the nineteen eighties.

Speaker 3 (58:32):
It's tough when you hear someone who you like, really
despise and think of as a bad person, like have
a similar vibe to you, Like George and I have
actively been like, you know, we believe this unless you
don't like it, and then we're kidding.

Speaker 1 (58:46):
No, it's true. Yeah, no, I you're describing that. I'm like,
that is basically our defense. Whenever we go out on
a limb and say something that we're not sure about
is like, yeah, we are ultimately like, we don't none
of it is serious and we don't really like we're
sort of working through our first draft thoughts. Yeah, and
it's not meant to be set in stone, but unfortunately,

(59:10):
because of the nature.

Speaker 4 (59:10):
Of podcasting it is. It makes you think, like these
are your like this goes into the Hall of records. Yeah, yeah,
and it'll be sighted oh in three or four years.

Speaker 3 (59:23):
Maybe we before every episode, we should have a disclaimer
that's like, first of all, everything that we said is fake.
We don't believe any of it. And if you cite this,
you're a fucking pervert. I looked that you had right
up until the end. That was like good NPR voice, Yeah,
you're listening this radio lab an, you know, thought experiment.
Some of these thoughts are works in progress. Damn for

(59:45):
more than normal saying I'm happy that you said I
had NPR voice for a second, because that actually gives
me the confidence that we were saying earlier that I
couldn't be serious, and I was like, maybe I could
be NPR serious.

Speaker 1 (59:56):
Well, I think NPR serious is the only path for
a game a man to be serious.

Speaker 4 (01:00:03):
That's so funny to be the kind of person And
like it would be ten or twenty years from now
where you would make a career switch and someone and
you'd be like, now, Senator, it's come out that you
were you were subscribed to a number of OnlyFans accounts,
and now you want to be a president?

Speaker 2 (01:00:18):
Is that still a get you? Would you care to
describe that any fruit? Yes?

Speaker 3 (01:00:25):
Well, I am horny on like any other person, and
you know I'm a very sex positive presidential candidate.

Speaker 1 (01:00:34):
Wow, Sam, you're already you're winning Pennsylvania.

Speaker 2 (01:00:38):
Now you're the candidate and you're winning. Good you dodge that.

Speaker 1 (01:00:45):
This is I mean, this is a larger conversation. But Okay,
what is the correct level of gaveaway someone can have
in order to be a mainstream public figure. Wow, that
is relatable to all.

Speaker 2 (01:01:00):
Wow, you know what I mean? You mean you mean
you mean not to be too gay to be the
public figure. Is that what you mean?

Speaker 1 (01:01:06):
Here's what I Here's what I think. I think it's
not about it's not about finding a happy medium. I
think it's about either being full straight voice Pete boudha
jeedge or you go full gay voice. And that's part
of it. And then and then women are like, ugh,
you like I love listening to your radio show, like
I love watching you on, like you go full full

(01:01:30):
in the other day, I think what people I think
where people lose the battle is when they try to
split the difference. Yes, I think you either have to
be Jonathan van Ness or Pete Budha Jedge.

Speaker 4 (01:01:41):
I never developed gay voice, and I didn't know what
when I was a child. I remember a cornered a hairdresser.
It was like the one time, it was the first
time I had a one on one with a gay
adult because I was like, oh, I had thirty minutes
with a getting a haircut, and you know, I was
like twelve, was old enough to go get a haircut
by myself, you know, So I was getting a haircut

(01:02:03):
and no, I had no friends with.

Speaker 2 (01:02:04):
Me, and I asked. I was like, I was like,
would you mind if I ask you a few questions
about what I was like, you're gay? You're gay, and
like yeah. He was like yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:02:14):
And then I was I'm such an innocent, stupid question
that you could only ask as a twelve year old.
I was like, I was like, when did your I
was like, when did your voice become like that?

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
And he was like he was like sweet.

Speaker 4 (01:02:27):
He was like, oh, well, it's just always it's how
I talk, you know, and maybe I hide it sometimes
and you know, and but you know, it's just that's
the the way I sound.

Speaker 2 (01:02:35):
And so I thought I thought it would happen and
just never did.

Speaker 3 (01:02:39):
Were you like, I'm gay, so this is coming from me?
Or you were like, I'm not gay because my voice
doesn't sound like that.

Speaker 4 (01:02:43):
It was, No, it was when I knew. I was
when I realized that I was twelve when I pieced
it together because I knew what I liked and I
knew what gay meant in like the news. So when
I was twelve is when I was like, oh, it's
that's when like at the eye doctor when the image
like yeah, wow, So I was like, oh that was
when I was like, oh, buckle up, I am stuck.

Speaker 2 (01:03:06):
I am on a ride. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:03:10):
Yeah, there is a there's a special curse of not
having gay voice, because if you don't read as gay,
then you it actually makes it more difficult for you.

Speaker 4 (01:03:20):
Well, it depends on what I'm doing, I guess. I mean, yeah,
different context. It's it's just different. I mean, people don't
know I'm gay, and that hurts sometimes and it helps sometimes,
and I have to. I fucking have to blabber about
it on stage. I feel the most comfortable doing it.

Speaker 1 (01:03:43):
And that's why your first special was named butt Pirate.

Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
It was almost that good. It was low. Hanging Fruit
was my my album twelve years.

Speaker 1 (01:03:52):
Oh that's Janius.

Speaker 2 (01:03:54):
That is good.

Speaker 4 (01:03:54):
You're good, You're good, You're good. These look do I
released something every twelve years. It's always the year of
the Dragon.

Speaker 2 (01:04:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:04:04):
No, Hanging Fruit was in twenty twelve, and that's where
my classic gay villains bit can be heard.

Speaker 3 (01:04:12):
You know, I was talking to a coworker and they
brought up your gay villains bit.

Speaker 2 (01:04:15):
Yeah, it was.

Speaker 4 (01:04:17):
It's almost been completely forgotten to link rot but it
was resurrected when we re released that a couple of
years ago, and then also and then it being the
year of the Dragon. Here I am on the path
of most resistance.

Speaker 2 (01:04:32):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (01:04:34):
Okay, like we have any final chapter titles where someone
be like you could call him a low hanging fruit
and he found himself on the path of most resistance.

Speaker 2 (01:04:45):
Wow. I can't wait for twelve years from now. I
know what is what's next going to be? Let's see, No,
it'll be like the end the most resistance period.

Speaker 1 (01:04:55):
Wait, wait, I have a great one, James. If you
release a special like when you're eighty years old.

Speaker 2 (01:05:02):
Oh, I would love this.

Speaker 1 (01:05:04):
Yes, out to Pasture.

Speaker 4 (01:05:06):
Oh I really want to enter. I'm just kind of
treading water until I can fulfill two kinds of things
in Hollywood, because right now I'm stuck in an audition cartoons.
I get to do whatever I want and nobody limits you.
You can play, you can play like a ball of
fire whatever, and but like in on camera, I'm limited

(01:05:29):
to playing like psychotic weird, MyPillow straight assholes or or
the like the pilot. The sitcom things I get are
always like I'm middle a like everyone's trying to remake
modern family. So it's always like, I'm a middle aged
gay and I don't obviously there's no sex, but there's
a I'm really I'm clean, I'm really uptight, and I'm like,

(01:05:51):
I'm the opposite of this type. I keep getting auditions
for where it's like the one thing you should know
about me is that I'm clean, and I'm like I'm
a complete mess. But no one makes those characters for Yeah,
but that's.

Speaker 1 (01:06:03):
Like, but you're always it's like how smart people are
best at playing dumb people, Like you're always so good
at playing the opposite because you know exactly how to
access that.

Speaker 4 (01:06:14):
Well, there's two types that I'm looking forward to aging into,
which is arch. I can't wait to be an arch
villain if I can get if I can pull it off.
I want to be like Goldfinger.

Speaker 2 (01:06:26):
Yeah, I want to be I would love it. I
want to be like a Bond villain. I have a
whole career about it.

Speaker 4 (01:06:33):
You know, like you really think that you would come
in here and talk to me that way? Please more
asparagus for Agent double O seven. That would be a great,
let's be honest, a great James Bond now you'd be
good at it. The other the other character I really
want to age into is like just the older the

(01:06:53):
older gay comedian who comes out wearing like a night robe.

Speaker 2 (01:06:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:06:57):
I want to be on a stage full of pillows
and spend twenty minutes at the top of the hour
of hour long special, twenty minutes telling everybody to shut up.
I want to I want to see if I can
do a twenty minutes.

Speaker 2 (01:07:12):
You have to be old though, shut up. I don't
have long.

Speaker 1 (01:07:17):
Well it's I mean, it's Almos, it's Joan, Like, why
is it like there needs to be a gay guy?
Joan Rivers like, well, you know there was.

Speaker 4 (01:07:25):
There was Rip Taylor ri I mean, I actually, I'm
he always made me laugh. I know he had a
very he had a short act, but I loved it.
I've seen it several times, filmed in different places, and
I saw him. I met him twice, just being a
young gay in West Hollywood. I saw him once and
I overheard him. The only thing I overheard him say

(01:07:48):
was like, well, I find out we have to hurry
or it'll be late for the show.

Speaker 2 (01:07:52):
And I was like, of course, that's like the random
figure and Rip Taylor say, walking down the street.

Speaker 4 (01:07:57):
And then I saw him again, like two years later,
and I'm like, I'm like, this time, I have to
say something. You can't just have God put Rip Taylor.

Speaker 2 (01:08:05):
In your life. You don't say something the second time.

Speaker 4 (01:08:08):
So I went up to him and he was at
Hamburger habit, which I don't think still exists, across the
street from the Mother Load and or the Abbey, and
he was there, and I went up to him and
I was like, I was like, mister Taylor, I am
a big fan of your comedy, which was kind of
an exaggeration, but what I was like, I am a
big fan of your comedy.

Speaker 2 (01:08:28):
And he goes, couldn't quite hear that? Well, that's fun.

Speaker 1 (01:08:35):
Wait, I actually have This is my suggestion for who
the like gay male Joan Rivers is. It's Isaac Mrahi.
Like it's like, it's literally like Isaac Musrahi on the
on QVC. Sure have you seen that clip of where

(01:08:56):
he doesn't know what the moon is?

Speaker 2 (01:08:58):
No?

Speaker 4 (01:08:58):
What falls into a category of untrustworthy conspiracy.

Speaker 1 (01:09:06):
It's like, oh God, I wish I knew what it was.
It was like someone's like, what's bigger the Earth or
the Moon, and he's like, the moon, I mean it's huge. Well,
I'll find a clip of what it actually is and
we'll put it here.

Speaker 2 (01:09:18):
I love that color. That's such a happy, beautiful, rich It.

Speaker 5 (01:09:22):
Almost kind of looks like what the Earth looks like
when you're a bazillion miles away.

Speaker 2 (01:09:25):
From the planets. Yes, I just planet.

Speaker 5 (01:09:28):
From looking back at the planet Moon from the planet.

Speaker 2 (01:09:31):
The moon a star, the noo, The moon is a planet, dar.

Speaker 1 (01:09:35):
The sun is a star? Is the moon really a planet?

Speaker 2 (01:09:37):
The moon is a planet. Don't look at me like that.

Speaker 1 (01:09:40):
The sun is a star.

Speaker 2 (01:09:41):
Is the sun not a star? I don't know what
the sun? The sun is star? The sun is? The
sun is a star. The moon is not a planet.
I know it. I knew it. You were trying to
take me down that road.

Speaker 1 (01:09:53):
The moon is not a planet.

Speaker 2 (01:09:55):
If you're listening to me, google the moon someone.

Speaker 5 (01:09:57):
I can guarantee you someone's googling right now.

Speaker 2 (01:09:59):
The Moon. I know it's.

Speaker 1 (01:10:02):
Not a planet. What else is it if it's not
a planet?

Speaker 2 (01:10:04):
Not I believe it's a star or something.

Speaker 5 (01:10:07):
It is not a Can you do that thing in
grade school where you had to name the planets and
there was Uranus, and there was Saturn and the one
with the rings and that and then the Earth and.

Speaker 2 (01:10:16):
The moon is never in there.

Speaker 1 (01:10:17):
Dude, it's not a planet. All right here, look this is.

Speaker 2 (01:10:21):
I don't know, I don't know what it is.

Speaker 1 (01:10:24):
Educated I'm exposed.

Speaker 2 (01:10:26):
Come on, it's a planet.

Speaker 1 (01:10:28):
Is blonde of mine?

Speaker 2 (01:10:29):
Could be real? Okay? The moon is what natural to
live on it as it's a planet. That said, I
don't know. No, I don't like that at all. I
don't even know what that means.

Speaker 1 (01:10:43):
It is so charming and you're sort of like, yeah,
like the emotional truth actually is that the moon is
bigger than the Earth.

Speaker 2 (01:10:49):
Well.

Speaker 3 (01:10:49):
I also think Nathan Lane falls into this category, even
though he's not a comedian, but uh he because one
of my favorite pieces of media of the last year
is him going on how Got Long Gone?

Speaker 2 (01:11:00):
Podcast? I don't know if I saw this.

Speaker 3 (01:11:02):
He just like like they're like two cool, straight guys,
like very casual, and he's like Nathan Lane and they're
like they're like.

Speaker 1 (01:11:12):
Eli does not get what's happened.

Speaker 3 (01:11:14):
He's like they're like okay, so like what do you
look on your sandwich? Like what's what do you look at?
And he's like, what is this? What this show is?
You want me to talk about my sandwich, and like
like just not having fun with it in a way
that I was addicted to because he also has to
be there for an hour or whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:11:31):
It's so juicy.

Speaker 3 (01:11:32):
And then they're like he's like being like really annoyed
at everything, and then they're like, so tell us about the.

Speaker 2 (01:11:37):
Movie you're in and then he's like, oh, it's amazing,
and I'm like.

Speaker 3 (01:11:41):
That turn. He's like, now we're doing press, and it's
like it's been pressed the whole time.

Speaker 2 (01:11:47):
Sweetie. I love that you.

Speaker 4 (01:11:49):
Want me to talk about the motion picture. I'm in sure,
it's what it's such a funny idea. Okay, what's it called?

Speaker 2 (01:11:56):
How Long Gone? How Long Gone? Okay, I gotta see that. Yeah,
it's it's you see.

Speaker 1 (01:12:02):
Okay. Any do we have any final thoughts on conspiracy theories.
I'm like it's one of those topics that's so rich
that I'm like, there's something obvious we're missing about what
makes it straight?

Speaker 2 (01:12:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:12:13):
I think I did get self conscious, but we started
getting into it.

Speaker 2 (01:12:16):
Well. Yeah, I think.

Speaker 4 (01:12:19):
If you're if you're if you've cast yourself against the mainstream. Yeah,
there are a lot there, and a lot of these
people have a chip on their shoulder where they haven't
really like you know, oh, it's just gaze on TV
and it's like, well, there's not many. There's actually not
many of us if you count, and there's a lot

(01:12:42):
more of us off TV where you can't there's not
as many gate keepers. Like if you go to a
comedy festival, there's more Gaze than there.

Speaker 2 (01:12:49):
Are the TV network shows.

Speaker 4 (01:12:51):
But uh, I mean, if you've cast yourself in that
thing where it's like they and you start putting everything
into like the day bucket.

Speaker 1 (01:13:00):
Oh that's a good that's them. No, it really is
us versus them and.

Speaker 4 (01:13:08):
And you, and you're less likely to know a large
network of neighbors, in my opinion, exactly do it's people
who've chosen like this is we're this is a hateful church,
and we welcome people from all over this community to
come here and be hateful. Yeah, it's so, I mean,

(01:13:28):
I I yeah, I think there may there may be
an an in group and an.

Speaker 2 (01:13:33):
Out group thing where it's like people.

Speaker 4 (01:13:35):
Like me, and so I think they've I think they've
taken over the narrative and maybe you know, they latch
onto a couple of a couple of legitimate things that
should be investigated or or are troubling things about a
fucked up country, a fucked up pool, and you know what.

Speaker 1 (01:13:52):
Else I think it might be Like I think straight,
the straight mentality has less patience for contradiction, and like
it's like when they see that one thing and another
thing can be true at the same time, the alarms
go off and it's like, oh my god, hypocrisy. I
have to expose it. Whereas I think growing up and

(01:14:13):
feeling different in some way and understanding that not everything
is gonna work out for you the way it is sold,
it almost gives you like a more open minded view
of like how a life could be and how a
society could be. Sure, sure, sure, you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (01:14:29):
You say, coming up with the disappointment of being gay,
for example, Yeah, not only the.

Speaker 1 (01:14:34):
Disappointment, not disappointment like for okay you're yeah, like if
you and also just being like, okay, So the things
that I was told everyone should have, I'm inherently not
gonna have some of them. But that's all. But that
doesn't mean there's a conspiracy or that doesn't mean that
I'm gonna I'm doomed to die, or that doesn't mean
that I'm doomed to be unhappy. It just means like

(01:14:55):
I have to be on my feet and like figure
out the best way to accommodate this imperfect world. Whereas
if you don't deal with that early on, and then suddenly,
for the first time at age twenty seven, you see
that something is contradictory, you're like, well, I have to
call the police.

Speaker 2 (01:15:11):
Ah, totally lamp up. Until this point, everything was from
by the book going correct.

Speaker 1 (01:15:15):
Exactly. Yeah, I think what it is is like.

Speaker 2 (01:15:18):
It must be Satan exactly.

Speaker 1 (01:15:21):
Like it's like if you see a contradiction, it can't
immediately break your brain. It has to be just like
the first step of an inquiry. And then you're like, okay,
so this doesn't quite add up. Let's see what could
it be? What are the what are the three most
likely explanations for it? And then how do we go
from there? Whereas the conspiracy mind.

Speaker 2 (01:15:39):
Your David Hume, the investigation is like.

Speaker 1 (01:15:42):
Oh, I'm sensing something is wrong. It must be the cabal.
It must be like something bigger that they're not telling.

Speaker 3 (01:15:49):
Well, I think what we really need is the government
needs the president. Biden in his last stages of being president,
needs to come out and say, Okay, here's everything that
we've done, Here's where it's true, here's the stuff that
we've been up to over.

Speaker 2 (01:16:03):
The last I think the strongest thing, because you like
one of the what like, the only legitimate thing that
Trump wanted to do was to release the all the
Kennedy assassination documents, and he was thwarted.

Speaker 4 (01:16:15):
And that's the old literally the only good thing he
wanted to do. The strongest move Biden could beat could
do it would be like, oh, by the way, I'm
gonna release all the Come on, pal, we're gonna.

Speaker 3 (01:16:24):
Really saw those JFK now because if he was like,
I mean completely honest, now you can't say those conspiracies
because we told you everything.

Speaker 2 (01:16:30):
We're gonna let it all fly. We need, that would
be a really strong foot because.

Speaker 3 (01:16:35):
Then it would be like, Okay, now we don't have
conspiracies because now we know which ones are true, which.

Speaker 1 (01:16:40):
It would be so incredible if they were just like, yeah,
we're gonna just open source all CIA and FBI files. Okay, okay,
you guys, like enough is enough, Like they're literally.

Speaker 2 (01:16:50):
Like I'm coming out as as bad I've been bad.

Speaker 4 (01:16:56):
Or you know, literally be like you could you could
if they fight back at you, you'd be like, oh, okay,
anything before nineteen eighty is open now and not not classic.

Speaker 2 (01:17:06):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:17:06):
I do think that should be the case, like, I
because that's what happened with the Kennedy Files, right, Like
I think that. I think basically, after let's say thirty years,
everything should be fair game.

Speaker 4 (01:17:17):
Right, And I don't care if there's some old guy
that doesn't want to be prosecuted for war crimes or murder.

Speaker 1 (01:17:23):
I'm sorry, that's not a good argument for keeping it.
It's not a good argument. And by the way, at
that point, at least we've given him those thirty years
of innocence, so he'd be appreciated when he's exactly like
he had thirty years to buy a house somewhere cool.
It's like now he's eighty seven, Like, let's put him
in jail for like three years. Yeah, but why would
you just a good compromise?

Speaker 2 (01:17:42):
Why would you murder and want to get away? Oh
right away? I always forget about that.

Speaker 4 (01:17:48):
I do think we could make more of an effort
of having gay centric, queer centered conspiracy theories.

Speaker 1 (01:17:56):
And let's be creative about it.

Speaker 4 (01:17:58):
Let's be okay, let's like, it's a conspiracy that they
disfavored gay sex in the last two thousand years because
two thousand years ago everyone was gay or bisexual and.

Speaker 2 (01:18:10):
Now they're not. That's a conspiracy.

Speaker 4 (01:18:11):
It's a satanic it's a satanic corruption of the human
of the experience.

Speaker 2 (01:18:17):
We should be we should be.

Speaker 1 (01:18:19):
Well, I do have such idea that, like, yeah, I
do like the idea that homophobia is not something naturally
occurring in society, Like it's not something that just like
they're doing inherently feel a little gross if they see
two men kissing. I would love a conspiracy where like
that was actually an idea that was planted specifically.

Speaker 2 (01:18:37):
We have the documents.

Speaker 4 (01:18:38):
It goes back, it goes back to Richard Nixon, it
goes back to the next send administration.

Speaker 2 (01:18:42):
We have the documents right here.

Speaker 4 (01:18:44):
They're male sex is biologically, biologically always going to happen
in every generation.

Speaker 3 (01:18:50):
Yeah, they had to make it seem less hot. Yeah,
because because of population. It's like how abortion did not
was not like a huge it became an issue.

Speaker 1 (01:19:03):
Yeah, it's just like they just decided we're making this
an issue specifically for evangelical and Catholic voters.

Speaker 4 (01:19:09):
Yeah, this is something that's happening on a local level
in Los Angeles now, is that they're making bike lanes
anti bike lanes is now a right wing local issue
in Los Angeles where they're like fuck these woke bike
lane because it's they're just like, we need something else
to talk about.

Speaker 2 (01:19:27):
God, I hate it. Wait, should we do our final segment?

Speaker 1 (01:19:32):
Yeah? Wait, yes, I wanted to say a classic gay
conspiracy theory is the concept of industry plants.

Speaker 2 (01:19:39):
Yeah, no, that's true.

Speaker 1 (01:19:41):
So that's I just wanted to end on that amazing note.

Speaker 3 (01:19:45):
Like people, what is an industry Like people will be
like Sabrina Carpenter is an industry plant.

Speaker 1 (01:19:50):
It's like they like, success is not organic. It's decided exactly,
Like someone at Virgin Records was like, this is going
to be the next blonde girl, and everyone better fall
in line otherwise we are going to start assassinations. And
again it's kind of it's kind of narrowly true.

Speaker 4 (01:20:09):
Well, yeah, there's something globally true and.

Speaker 2 (01:20:12):
No one has divine power.

Speaker 1 (01:20:13):
Well, it also has to take like it has to take. True,
it does have to take. You're right, But I think
that's the thing with like, you know, the musician her.

Speaker 2 (01:20:20):
Yeah, everyone says she's an industry plant.

Speaker 1 (01:20:22):
Everyone says she's an industry plant because it never actually took.
I don't none of us know anyone who in their
free time listens to HER's music, right, and yet she
is has fully egotted and is at every award show
and is, like, you know, I don't know, being given
the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Speaker 3 (01:20:39):
Wouldn't an industry plant like want money, Like, wouldn't they
want like someone like if her isn't making money, doesn't
always wouldn't they be like, well, we need a new
industry plant that will actually make us more money. That's
what confuses me about the industry plant conversation.

Speaker 4 (01:20:53):
Wait, yeah, I see they would always need someone to
play the role.

Speaker 3 (01:20:58):
Well if they're like industry planting this person her, and
then they're like, okay, so we've we've gotten her the Oscar,
the Grammy, like we've done all this for her, but
but it's still not taking in a general audience, like
we should probably fire her.

Speaker 1 (01:21:14):
Yeah, it's mad for the industry. Ultimately, they still want
to make money.

Speaker 4 (01:21:17):
Should Joe biden her, Let's get it, let's get a
better we need a better planting, we need a better plant.
Then they do that from time to time, and that's
when they're like, well, that's when they're like, well they
chewed them up and discarded them.

Speaker 2 (01:21:31):
Sure, that's what they did to Britney Spears.

Speaker 4 (01:21:33):
She was their plant for a while and then they
had enough, bit so they sped her around.

Speaker 2 (01:21:38):
Yeah. They maybe that's it, maybe, which is also true.
Maybe also true.

Speaker 3 (01:21:42):
Okay, maybe it's that there are industry plants, but they
the people deciding, never take into account how gay people
get fanatic about stuff. So it's like they were like,
we are going to take Britney Spears, make her our
little puppet, and then discard her. But then gay people
are like, no, we're gonna keep her alive forever, Like
we're going to worship this woman till the day she
is dead.

Speaker 2 (01:22:03):
And there was never supposed to happen, right, right, she's
shut down the system. She's too popular. Yeah, its flying.
It's like they're resisting.

Speaker 4 (01:22:15):
They're resisting someone in the control center who's like, it's
there's no way to stop her.

Speaker 2 (01:22:24):
So that's my that's my theory.

Speaker 4 (01:22:26):
I do think that, uh, securing the full Egot would
be a fantastic Bond villain like goal.

Speaker 1 (01:22:33):
Oh absolutely, Oh wait, that's great.

Speaker 2 (01:22:36):
They shouldn't buy the Grammy the Oscar.

Speaker 1 (01:22:40):
Okay, there should be a bond. That's that's literally like
a crazed like It's like it's Harry finally lost it
and she's like, okay, well you guys aren't going to
buy my album, I'll fucking show you, and then by
force she wants to get herself to Egot.

Speaker 2 (01:22:58):
It's Theater of Blood.

Speaker 4 (01:22:59):
The Vincent Price movie meets like Goldfinger, where it's like
where it's like the Academy.

Speaker 2 (01:23:06):
If everyone is deceased in a tragic accident, the Oscar
will go to the only member who survives.

Speaker 1 (01:23:14):
Wait, James is and I am in good standing, mister Bond.

Speaker 2 (01:23:18):
You'll never get away with it. Wow wow, I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:23:25):
And actually it needs to be It's it can't be
a can't be Katy Perry. It needs to be a
gay man, like a sort of Elton John esque gay man. Yes,
but unlike Elton John, he never got the recognition he deserved,
and he's seeing all these young girls.

Speaker 4 (01:23:41):
Yes, just like just underappreciate. I mean, this is really
writing my own story. Yes, he's and he thought he
thought he was in he was like the he was
like the gay performer in the Nightgown.

Speaker 1 (01:23:55):
Yes, he was like, it didn't get the time, And
this is the role you're gonna age in. This is
literally his perfect This.

Speaker 4 (01:24:01):
Is give me, this is your give me twelve years,
twelve years.

Speaker 1 (01:24:07):
It might be my Lydio tar, thank you, And it's
gonna be and it's gonna be called and guess what,
it's gonna be called out to Pasture.

Speaker 2 (01:24:14):
And that's the name of the film of the Bond movie,
of the Bond movie. Hey so because the guy's name
is Reginald past Yeah, don and they're like pasture.

Speaker 1 (01:24:26):
And then Pasta.

Speaker 2 (01:24:28):
Yeah, it's Sabrina Carpenter.

Speaker 1 (01:24:30):
Yeah, his long suffering best you know women best friend
is like, reg I don't even recognize you anymore. And
then you're ego.

Speaker 2 (01:24:40):
His ego is almost as large as his He got wow. Wow,
I mean I'm trying to I'm trying to come up
with that would have.

Speaker 1 (01:24:50):
To maybe this isn't He has a tony so all
he needs is an ego.

Speaker 4 (01:24:54):
Oh, that's what's missing. Wow, or he have the ego
mister Bond.

Speaker 2 (01:25:03):
That I require.

Speaker 3 (01:25:07):
Wow, it's a musical Bond movie.

Speaker 4 (01:25:11):
And he has there's some apparatus like in Moonraker where
he's like climbing up one hundred foot ladder. You know,
I love that Moonaker is not a good movie, but
I love at the end of it that there's like
there's like he's climbing up the ladder to a rocket,
like it's there's no way you can win, mister Bond.

(01:25:31):
I've always woned that phase of my career and grand plot.

Speaker 2 (01:25:35):
Well, I believe in it. I think it's coming. Well,
then that's they opened that.

Speaker 1 (01:25:40):
They opened the envelope at the Oscars and it's a
severed finger. Okay, we have to do our final segment
because we're keeping everyone at iHeart Studios in both coasts
prisoners our Grand Plan of being Gay podcast.

Speaker 4 (01:25:58):
Will Ferrell is out there being like I good believe,
oh shit, I believe for taking this law.

Speaker 2 (01:26:05):
Yeah, he really wants to get in here and get recording. Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:26:13):
Our final segment is called shout Outs and James. In
this segment, we've paid homash to the Grand Straight tradition.

Speaker 2 (01:26:19):
Of the radio shout out.

Speaker 3 (01:26:21):
We shout out people, place, thing, idea, anything that we're
enjoying in the style of you know, imagine two thousand
and one year at TRL shouting out to your squad
back home. We always make them up. George and I
will go first.

Speaker 1 (01:26:32):
Sure, George, I do have one. Okay, go what's up
freak souses and perpets around the globe.

Speaker 3 (01:26:38):
I want to give a huge shout out to the
FKA Twig song and video Useexua. I have been an
FKA Twigs fan for a long long time. This girl
has it all, and I was a little bit worried
about her in the last five years because she seemed
like maybe didn't have it all. And then she popped
back on the scene with you Sexua, and I am

(01:27:00):
in absolute heaven. I watched this music video, I want
to say, twenty times in the last week.

Speaker 2 (01:27:06):
I cannot get enough. I said, oh my god, it's
seven minutes long. Oh brother, and then.

Speaker 3 (01:27:11):
I said that it felt like two minutes. I want
to watch it one more time. I want to watch
it one more time. I want to watch it one
more time. It's a song that shouldn't get stuck in
your head, and yet it's stuck in my head. And
it ends with a title card that's very chromatica style
where it's like, you sexually is a state of being
a state of higher presence, a state of humanity that
is beyond that which we can ever conceive. And I
was like, this girl is incredible. She is having so

(01:27:33):
much fun. And God, I love when people can really dance.
Oh and I just love I love FK Twigs shout
out whoo whoo.

Speaker 1 (01:27:44):
When I first saw that it was called Yousexua, as
though it was beamed into my brain without thinking, my
first thought was you sexua spit on that bank.

Speaker 2 (01:27:55):
Unbelievable.

Speaker 1 (01:27:57):
Have you seen the video, George, It's incredible? Oh, I
was so. It actually really reminds me of like peak
Pitchfork era twenty ten's when of a music video. Sorry,
not the peak. I understand Peak Pitchfork era was before that,
but I mean like that sort of like twenty twenty
tens era when music mattered li everything wasn't on Spotify

(01:28:18):
and artists would get one fifteenth of a cent.

Speaker 2 (01:28:20):
No, she's really got it. I'm addicted to her.

Speaker 1 (01:28:24):
Okay, I'm trying to decide it. All right, all right,
I'll go.

Speaker 2 (01:28:26):
I'll go.

Speaker 1 (01:28:27):
What's up, cinephiles out there, letterbox users, it's your boy, George.
And I have to give a shout out to a
film that I have known. This is a film since
I was a teenager. I said, this is a movie
for me, but somehow I resisted watching it for twenty
full years. I don't know why. Maybe I thought it
would be too meaningful if I watched it at an
impressionable age. And I finally hit play on it last night.

(01:28:50):
And that film is Paul Thomas Anderson's Punch Drunk Love,
featuring a once in a lifetime performance from mister Adam Sandler,
and I would say, talk about a tour de farce peace.
This is a absolute for defarce on all levels. It
made me so obviously I loved it, but I know
for a fact that I would have loved it even

(01:29:10):
more when I was thirteen years old. And it makes
me so upset that I will never get to have
that experience. I want to go back in time and
watch it and have it define my definition of define
my vision of love for the rest of time. I
wanted to define my sense of humor. I want to
I want to relive a life where I'm quoting it
constantly at parties. And now I'm merely a gay guy
in my thirties who watched Pun Trunk Love for the

(01:29:31):
first time. Is there anything more embarrassing? I invite you
to brainstory.

Speaker 2 (01:29:35):
Well, I think not.

Speaker 3 (01:29:36):
I think I'm about to be the same guy. I've
never seen it and I'm gonna watch it.

Speaker 1 (01:29:40):
Yeah, gotta you gotta watch it.

Speaker 2 (01:29:41):
It just.

Speaker 1 (01:29:43):
You know that Paul tamas Anderson knows what he's doing, folks,
And that's all I have to say about that.

Speaker 3 (01:29:49):
Thank you, Wow, beautiful James. Anything anything you want?

Speaker 2 (01:29:53):
Okay, what's up? What's up? I want to get what's up? Everybody?
Shout out to Griffith Park Urban park, largest urban park
in the country. We see you. We see you from
as far away as Culver City. Thank you. We read
your sign.

Speaker 4 (01:30:09):
You've gotten through heat wave season, You've gotten through fire season.

Speaker 2 (01:30:12):
It's fall season.

Speaker 4 (01:30:13):
We're about to be hiking, yes, with shirts, without shirts,
shirtless hiking.

Speaker 2 (01:30:17):
What up? We're in bloom soon.

Speaker 4 (01:30:20):
Toyon Canyon represent the secret airship blimp landing pad in
the back.

Speaker 2 (01:30:25):
It's never used. What we see you and we love you.
Mount Hollywood, Mount Lee the.

Speaker 6 (01:30:31):
Observatory What's Up stargazing not just from the main telescopes
inside of the cones, but junior scientists outside with their
astronomy telescopes lining up. What's up statues are the greatest
atronomers Newton, what's up?

Speaker 2 (01:30:47):
Rocketeer? Thank you? Jeans t Whooo wow. That was powerful.

Speaker 3 (01:30:52):
Actually got me excited for fall because, you know, as
someone who's new here, I'm sort of like, what's the point.

Speaker 2 (01:31:00):
You really?

Speaker 4 (01:31:02):
Los Angeles is you know the kind of person who's
so wise that it causes them physical pain. Yes, yeah,
Los Angeles is the place where it truly.

Speaker 2 (01:31:13):
Comes into bloom in the autumn. But you really, you've
truly you've got to of course you're Griffith Park, but
you've really got to get out to the Tribec Wilderness.
Have you been. Oh no, I haven't come to Brentwood, Darling.
Come to Brentwood. Look, you'll never look. There's a gate
at the bottom of the hill. If you can get

(01:31:34):
through it, come to brent.

Speaker 3 (01:31:37):
If you can get through it. Well, James, this has
been such a treat. Thank you so much for doing
the podcast.

Speaker 4 (01:31:43):
You I feel like I feel like I've had more
fun here than the last year.

Speaker 1 (01:31:49):
And thank you, and we will see you in Brentwood.
And please tell everyone where they can watch your special.
Path of Most Resistance.

Speaker 4 (01:31:57):
Path of Most Resistance is my first film stand up special.
It's available now on YouTube streaming through eight hundred pound
Gorilla's YouTube page, and it's also on their website if
you want to pay to watch it and download it.
It's on eight hundred pund gorilla dot com, eight hundred
pound Gorilla Media dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:32:16):
Maybe that's it.

Speaker 4 (01:32:17):
It's also on my website jamsodomain dot com and you
can listen to it or watch it many other places.
You can listen to it as an album anywhere you
would do that. Path of Most Resistance. It's gonna be
funny for about two or three more months, so and
then it's it all really topics extremely data.

Speaker 2 (01:32:33):
Yeah. Yeah, it's like isn't isn't July weird?

Speaker 4 (01:32:36):
So listen to it now. Listen to it now, because
in two or three months it's not You've missed the chance.

Speaker 1 (01:32:42):
Yeah, it's all about how Joe Biden is too old
and should drop out.

Speaker 2 (01:32:47):
We gotta get Harris out, get that Biden back yet. Okay,
well thanks again and bye, thank you James, Bye bye
bye podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:32:56):
And now want more? Subscribe to our Patreon for two
extra episodes a month, discord access and more by heading
to patreon dot com. Slash Stradio Lab.

Speaker 3 (01:33:07):
And for all our visual learners, free full length video
episodes are available on our YouTube.

Speaker 1 (01:33:11):
Now get back to work.

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Good Game with Sarah Spain

Dateline NBC

The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}"Conspiracy Theories" w/ James Adomian

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}Good Game with Sarah Spain

Dateline NBC

The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show

All Episodes

"Conspiracy Theories" w/ James Adomian

Good Game with Sarah Spain