"Misery" w/ Morgan Bassichis

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Hi.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Quick announcement before the episode gets started, and that is
that George and I's incredible, amazing stand up tour continues
this weekend. We're going to San Francisco, then Seattle, where
we've added a second date because the first one's sold out,
and then Portland, where we've added a late show because
the first one's sold out, and then Los Angeles, California,
where we'll be finishing our stand up tour. So please

(00:42):
get tickets there in our bio and we are so
excited to finish strong and get this. If you're in
Las Vegas or even somewhat close, we're doing a show there,
a Classics Radio Lab live show on October fifteenth, and
would love to see you there. We've never been to
Vegas and we are curious what the bibe will be.
So see you on the West coast starting this weekend

(01:04):
and see you next month Vegas.

Speaker 3 (01:07):
Okay, bye, podcast starts now. I feel so rigid today. Wow? Sorry, no,
go ahead, cut me off.

Speaker 4 (01:17):
What were you gonna say?

Speaker 3 (01:18):
Nothing of importance?

Speaker 2 (01:20):
But that doesn't mean I don't have a momentum, a
flow that just naturally comes.

Speaker 3 (01:23):
Don't put your rigidity on me. That's true.

Speaker 4 (01:25):
That's true.

Speaker 3 (01:26):
I actually was I was cutting your cutting off your
wings because I was I was hearing you you. I
was like, you're about to be a superstar on Mike.
I can't have you overshadow me. So I'm gonna cut
in and say I'm feeling rigid. That is wild. I
can't believe you would do that. Tell me more about
your rigidity. Do you know when you have those days
where you're not moving in a in a flow based

(01:49):
way and you're moving more in a kind of action
figure based right angle way. Yeah, I and and now
I'm aware of it, and I'm and it's only making
me move more in a Barbie hands feet permanently in
heels kind of way. And this started like when you
woke up this morning. Yeah, I you know this studio
I'm lucky enough to say is approximately thirteen minute walk
from my apartment. I woke up, I started walking. I said,

(02:11):
uh oh, I'm not really runway walking right now. I'm
more so kind of like.

Speaker 4 (02:16):
A pr girl with a clipboard.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
You know. It's like everyone else is a celebrity and
I'm the one ugly one.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
Sorry, sorry, I have to say I've seen you walk
stif flee before What the hell? I know what it
looks like when you're not in your flow state.

Speaker 3 (02:29):
Yeah, what but you have also seen in my flow stage.

Speaker 2 (02:31):
Of course it's you you glide on the sidewalks, but
when you when you go g I Joe mode, and.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
It's no, it's crazy because it's also like, at this point,
shouldn't I be able to fike it?

Speaker 4 (02:42):
So also should I be able to know?

Speaker 3 (02:43):
Like this is just my default state of walking?

Speaker 2 (02:48):
But when you think about what is my default state
of walking, you've already lost.

Speaker 3 (02:53):
How are you feeling? I have to say the complete opposite.
I mean, yes, don't get me wrong.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
I was seven minutes late to arriving, but that's because
I'm lost in the building. Yeah, but up until then
everything was working so perfectly.

Speaker 4 (03:04):
Well.

Speaker 3 (03:04):
You biked here, I city biked.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
I took the e bike option, which is just a room,
delightful room room, and like you know, I go to
the station.

Speaker 3 (03:14):
There's only one e bike left. That's perfect.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
Yeah, I'm riding the time. It says I'm going to
get here at ten twenty eight. That's perfect. That's enough
time to be lost in the building for a moment,
and then I get to the City Bike station right outside,
just just one spot to park it. I was like,
this is insane. This city provides this is a big
city bank.

Speaker 4 (03:34):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
Thank you to our partners at City Bank for providing
a space for me two bike.

Speaker 3 (03:39):
Thank you to City Bank for providing the space. Have
I told you about that? One time? Someone I know
posted Levi's spon con and said, thank you Levi's for
making the space. It's actually one of the most amazing things.
But the most amazing series of words I've ever seen
is strung together in a sentence, thank you Levi's for

(03:59):
making It's so amazing to imagine Levi's making the space.
I have to be honest.

Speaker 2 (04:03):
Was it sort of a coffe situation where they were
just like, didn't finish but hits No.

Speaker 3 (04:08):
I think it was like that was the copying me this.
I think even worse, it was not suggestive copy. I
think this person was like, I got it, thank you
Levi's for making the space. Wow. Yeah, So to go
back to City Bank, thank you for making the space.
Thank you for making the space. And you know, we
had an amazing night last night. We did have an

(04:29):
amazing Oh well, I mean I didn't have an amazing night.
Uh oh what happened? Well, you know why I left
the event? What I was promised that I would see
share perform. Oh and she didn't. And she and I
didn't get into the event.

Speaker 4 (04:45):
Oh, you didn't get into the event.

Speaker 1 (04:46):
So we I get a text.

Speaker 3 (04:51):
I am old enough that I should know not to
trust things like this. But I get a text. It
says I'm at an event. The rumor is that Share
is going to perform. I could probably get a plus one.
I said, okay, but like sounds difficult. Are you sure
you want me to? You know, are you sure I
should come take an uber to Midtown on the off
chance that I will get in and see share perform.
They're like, you're on the list. I come, Like the

(05:14):
door is a little chaotic, but like you're on the
list and you'll get in.

Speaker 4 (05:17):
I get there, they have fully closed the doors.

Speaker 3 (05:19):
It's like it's like paparazzi that are so it's almost
like grotesque caricatures of paparazzi you would see in like
a Michael Bay movie, Like they're all look like deformed
faces and they're like representing the black heart of American society.

Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yeah, and it's like, can't you see that she's hurting?
And all you do is yell at her? Yeah exactly.

Speaker 3 (05:42):
And then I get in I immediately feel just completely invisible.
Just it's like everyone else is a human and I'm
sub human. Yeah, and then I leave and I go
home and I order Chinese foods.

Speaker 2 (05:55):
Well, I have to say, it's you know, you did
leave an event to go to this event, which I
do think you're out, and you even said sort of
a I have to go, and then until you were like,
I just have to leave, and I was like, Okay,
you're just gonna go home.

Speaker 3 (06:11):
You were gonna let me believe you were just gonna
go home, and I didn't want to set up yes,
But then, of course what I wanted to avoid is
what's happening now, which is that I told you I
was going to see Share and then I ended up
literally just spending one hundred dollars on Uber says coming home.
I wanted to sort of have it be a surprise
the next day, you'll never believe I saw last night.
Sure that would have been a nice surprise, but it
did feel like dishonesty. I also got, well, was asking

(06:33):
you to give me the space. Yeah, anyway, so I
just want to say, you know, the event responds by
Valentino Beauty, and I want to say they did not
create the space. They did not create the same in
the form of closing the door. He on, an LGBTQ
plus creator, no.

Speaker 2 (06:45):
Less so messed up. And just when we were starting
to feel respected, I know.

Speaker 3 (06:50):
And speaking of LGBTQ plus creators, we have such an
amazing guest tonight. I we are doing this amazing thing
where we're booking them actually right before or their show ends,
so they actually can't even there's simply no way to
There's no way to promote the show unless you are
going Hermione Granger mode, going back in time and buying
tickets or potentially waiting in the standby line to see

(07:12):
their show. Can I be frank which is now closed?
Quite frankly, yeah, I have to say I really loved
it and I highly recommend it if again, like at
some point it returns, maybe next year.

Speaker 4 (07:24):
I really hope you can see it. I know you
were in LA you know I.

Speaker 3 (07:27):
Would, and it just really I could not recommend it
more highly, and I really I'm sorry that none of
you are going to have the chance to see it.
And so, without further ado, please welcome Morgan Bassacus.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
Hi.

Speaker 3 (07:40):
Oh wow, well I used to be here with you
and the ultimate power move to recommend something that is
absolutely over Well, I actually it is the ultimate power yeah,
because there's something you know, when someone could recommend like
something exclusive. Yes, this is sort of exclusive in that way,
in that like it is temporally biased. It's like it's

(08:02):
only for people who are in the past over there, exactly,
Like I'm actually marginalizing presence oriented people and idis identify
people and I'm privileging past identified People's like, my recommendation
is only for people in the past, and it's like,
I'm sorry you couldn't get into the past. You can't
get into the show exactly. This is the share community. Yeah,

(08:22):
I know, I know. I've got an experience of rejection
to you wanted to have an experience of inclusion, and
I know I know that's how it works. We want
to feel like we're in somewhere.

Speaker 2 (08:30):
And yetimes, it's so nice to feel like you're out.

Speaker 4 (08:34):
Wait say more, Well, it's like.

Speaker 2 (08:36):
When you can want, when you can be, like, when
you can want, It's that's amazing Ive your next song.

Speaker 3 (08:42):
All I ever want is to want to be honest.
That's actually like, yeah, no, that's such a I was
recently wanting, wanting, Yes, I was recently wanted. I was
recently wanton, and okay, I was recently. I found myself

(09:02):
in the single biggest and most expensive apartment I will
ever be in my life. Love that happened, like we're talking,
like it was out of a out of a movie
that wasn't even and just like that, it was out
of it, just like that, Oh my god. And I
looked around and I said, there's no love in this house.

(09:26):
But if we just ended there, we just.

Speaker 4 (09:29):
Ended here, I was like.

Speaker 3 (09:31):
And and to add on top of that, can there
be this house is not definitionally, this is not a home.
And can any house that is like this be a home?

Speaker 1 (09:41):
Right?

Speaker 3 (09:42):
Oh it's so austere. Yeah, yes exactly. And it's like
it is there a way where once you're no longer wanting,
you can no longer experience love, Like the person that
lived in that apartment isn't wanting.

Speaker 4 (09:56):
Oh my gosh, that hurts, you know what I mean?
Not one is like it is a great fear.

Speaker 2 (10:03):
Yeah, because then it's like it's like sometimes I'm like
I sometimes I wish I weren't horny, Like I'd be like, God,
it'd be amazing for that cloud to go away all
the time.

Speaker 3 (10:10):
But then I'm like, but what would my compass be?

Speaker 2 (10:13):
Like?

Speaker 4 (10:13):
Where would I know?

Speaker 3 (10:14):
And wanting is kind of similar where it's like you're
just if you're always wanting. If you stop wanting, then
you like, well, I guess I just sit here still
like one hundred percent, not doing anything one hundred percent.
It's confusing, It's crazy all that. I mean, think about
all that. Remember that joke Margaret Chow used to have
years ago where she would be like, all that time
I was thinking about hating my body, I could have
taken a pottery class. I just think about that. Like

(10:37):
the number of hours I have spent searching for sex
is crazy. Yeah, oh my god, I could have learned
anything I could have learned, I could have I could
have been a person.

Speaker 1 (10:47):
You know what.

Speaker 3 (10:47):
Funny as this is how I feel about. On the
opposite end of the spectrum, I feel about the hours
I spent on Instagram, I'm like, I could have been
having sex, right, Like, I'm like, well, at least if
I could have been doing the dead eyed looking at
a screen thing. But I could have led somewhere instead
of me literally looking at photos from an event. I
know that I wasn't at, nor did I want to

(11:08):
be at, or like, why am I doing?

Speaker 4 (11:11):
Right? Is that one I've been looking at?

Speaker 3 (11:14):
You gotta be looking at three dicks? Yeah, but that's
and that's what I'm literally like, even I'm behind you,
guys like you guys are at the You're looking at dicks,
and you're like, God, I could have taken a pottery class.
I'm looking at a photo of Kristen Davis. I don't
know which one's better. To be honest with you, it's
always do you think, generally speaking, okay, a gay guy?

Speaker 4 (11:38):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (11:39):
Do you think a gay guy if he were to
be shown we're doing a study. He has to be
shown a variety of photos of Kristin Davis, like christ
Davis when she was young, Davis now like red carpet,
no makeup, interview with Kim Krau, and then another guy,
gay guy has just shown a bunch of dicks. Yes,
At the end of the experiment, who's happier? Whoa It's

(12:02):
like the most political thing I've ever heard.

Speaker 4 (12:05):
WHOA, I'm serious. It's like wait, wait, wait wait, let's
how long does it last?

Speaker 3 (12:09):
It lasts? Let's just say it lasts. Here's the thing.

Speaker 2 (12:11):
If you're that example, I feel that the Christen Davis
person is happier.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (12:16):
I could think so too, because there's.

Speaker 2 (12:18):
Like more depth, there's more beauty, there's like something to
be explored. You're you're thinking about time. You're thinking about
like you know, presentation and when and how you do it,
whereas like dis you're just like it's just animal and
you're just like okay.

Speaker 3 (12:32):
And then there's the after. Well, then there's a conversation
after which you've totally forgotten about all the dicks. You're
just like recommending self help books. Do you know what
I mean? Like, I feel like that's that's like it's
got taken away. Where is the Christen Davis. There's no after,
there's no hangover. Yes, there's there's no hangover. You also
take yourself out of it when you're thinking about Kristen Davis. Yes,

(12:55):
you are actually thinking about someone else. When you're thinking
about the dicks, you're thinking what would they look like
with me in the frame you're thinking, you're thinking, what
would it look like if I grabbed one, if I
grab if one of them sort of slapped me across
these dick see me? Yeah, you're not. The dicks are
a mirror, whereas Christy Davis is a portal.

Speaker 2 (13:18):
Whoa Jesus. So the rigidity era is over. I know,
it's unbelievable. You're really cooking.

Speaker 3 (13:25):
Yeah, you're totally fluid.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
Wow wow wow wow supple. I am currently in my
where I live in La Get this.

Speaker 3 (13:34):
It's hard to have sex there? Well, it's impossible. For foremost,
nobody commits that. No one has had sex and no
one has sext there. Like the studios, there's a population issue.

Speaker 2 (13:44):
There's a huge population. That's why you can get a
house if you want, exactly. But I think it's so
so like wanting versus having right because like so I have,
like I have a pool that I share with my landlord.
Oh my, which is extremely luxurious. I'm like, how happened
in my life where I have access to a pool
as a child that was like my full fantasy was

(14:04):
like one day a pool and then you go in
the pool alone and you're like now what right, Like
you're sort of like, okay, that of this pool? Yeah,
and I'm sort of like, where are all the people? Like,
where's the where's the like?

Speaker 3 (14:17):
And furthermore, why am I not being filmed?

Speaker 2 (14:20):
And furthermore, where are the dicks? And now literally I'm repulsive.

Speaker 4 (14:29):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (14:30):
It's just weird because you really think like this will
be everything and then you're like, okay, I know, like
that's it.

Speaker 3 (14:37):
Yeah, I don't want pool. I want community. Can kind
that community? You're like, I hate these people. I didn't
choose you. This is so this is honestly one of
the themes of your show, and we won't talk about
it too much because I know.

Speaker 4 (14:47):
Sam, because of his.

Speaker 3 (14:49):
Geographical identity, is LA identifying, right, he wasn't unable to
see it, right, But one of the big themes is
like the connection between being community oriented and being a
complete narcissist.

Speaker 4 (15:03):
Wouldn't you say that?

Speaker 3 (15:06):
I'm like that to me was one of the most
radical things about what you were saying.

Speaker 4 (15:11):
And I'm wondering if.

Speaker 3 (15:13):
You could talk a little bit about that and how
you landed on that being one of the themes. Oh, Mike, well,
that I mean, when you're a narcisst that's going to
be the theme of You're gonna be the theme. Well,
it's almost the ultimate and I don't mean this as
a as a read, it's almost the ultimate form of
narcisism to be like, it's actually pro social that I'm
a narcissist and that there's a kind of narcist called

(15:36):
that called the called what are they called the communal narcissism? Yeah,
is it the sort of like I'm thinking of someone
who makes a lot of public statements about current events, Like,
is that the kind of thing we're talking about? I
think the show, you know, the show is about this
this comedian, and I get that this is annoying.

Speaker 4 (15:54):
It's annoying at all.

Speaker 3 (15:55):
And also I listened to your Exploration Live where you kind.

Speaker 4 (15:57):
Of talk to talk about it.

Speaker 3 (15:58):
So yeah, you've got the idea, I know roughly, but
I feel like we're all thinking about ourselves and we're
trying to pretend like we're not. We're disavowing our own
self involvement, which is where it gets dangerous with the
disavowal because then you're like, I'm not like that, and
then you're like, but where's it going to It's gonna
come out somewhere, and so I feel like the show,

(16:19):
and the show is also about the kind of like
the like hole in the soul, like endless. It's never enough,
it's about wanting, it's about it. This is never enough.
Is never enough praise, never enough attention, you know, And
that's like kind of the lineage of the gay comedian.
Is this disease of never enough?

Speaker 2 (16:34):
Yeah, it's complicated. I've been trying to approach things a
little differently of being like what if, Like I feel
like when I was here, I was really like, go bigger,
go big, like, try harder, make it, make it bigger,
bigger venue, blah blah blah, you can do it. Yeah,
And now I'm sort of like feeling very opposite where
I'm like, I don't want to like I want to

(16:56):
be comfortable where I am, like in any like even
like be like less than what I am.

Speaker 4 (17:00):
Like, I'm like, I.

Speaker 2 (17:01):
Actually don't want to push your downsizing. I'm downsizing, which
I think is approaching and of your life. Am I am? I?

Speaker 4 (17:08):
I don't know, am.

Speaker 2 (17:10):
Maybe there's something I know like instinctually, like when a
dog walk, Yeah, you're like selling your possessions. Yeah, there
is something where I'm like because I when I see
people in our community, especially like one, I love when
they shoot big and do a big thing, and I'm
always like.

Speaker 3 (17:30):
Go off, Diva.

Speaker 2 (17:31):
But also I love when they're like, I'm just sort
of doing this yeah for a little to see, like
and being like very calm about it. Yeah, And I'm
not gonna overextend. I'm not going to freak out and
I'm just being like, this is pretty much what I'm doing.

Speaker 3 (17:42):
But I think it goes somewhere else, even if it
just migrates to a different part like this, this sort
of the more the like the disease of more, the
want ye want yes, and the feeling of like not enoughness,
and then it goes into almost it can flit. The
opposite can be the same thing, you know what I mean,
Like where it's like then I'm gonna I'm wanting a
certain kind of humility or something. It's like, you know,

(18:04):
that's like fuck, you know, so I think ambitious about humility.

Speaker 4 (18:08):
You're scary the most.

Speaker 3 (18:10):
I'm orn on for you guys, Like literally, you brought
a Jewish person, okay, and I'm glad, Damn, let's talk
about it. You're braid, Yeah, I'm like the little braid
top and braid, So what happened? So what happened there?

Speaker 1 (18:27):
God?

Speaker 3 (18:27):
I love her?

Speaker 4 (18:28):
I love her.

Speaker 3 (18:29):
I recently heard a celebrity lesbian couple sees her. Uh oh,
you've told me this. Yeah, we can't say it because
it's hip. We can't say, but we're going to be
literally someone's going to enter with an AK forty seven
and shoot us.

Speaker 2 (18:44):
Sorry, but relevantly. But to be bare in this country,
it's always timely, so.

Speaker 3 (18:49):
Exactly, okay, And thank you the advice for making the space.

Speaker 2 (18:53):
Thank you the advice for making the space en City Bank.
So we were talking before about like speaking of wanting,
speaking of attention, Like, how does it feel to do
a run of a solo show where you're just like
receiving attention at a constant rate?

Speaker 4 (19:09):
Right?

Speaker 3 (19:09):
Well, it doesn't last.

Speaker 1 (19:14):
What what?

Speaker 3 (19:16):
But you do it the next night?

Speaker 2 (19:17):
It doesn't last what you doing the next night, but
it fills the It fills the void for sure, and.

Speaker 3 (19:21):
Then you go happy and dad loves you and all
that stuff. But you I think that the thing about
it is you're still the next audience to impress. But
are they ever like?

Speaker 4 (19:32):
Are they like?

Speaker 3 (19:33):
But we just love this.

Speaker 4 (19:35):
What you like? Are they ever just like we love
this no matter what?

Speaker 3 (19:38):
Yeah, well, I think I have to remind myself before
I go on stage. They came here because they want
to see the show. But this is the difference, I
think between your perspective as a performer and our perspective
is just like readers of reviews and Instagram, It's like,
at some point someone like you or someone like Cole
or Josh or whoever else has been the toast of
the time. It's like there's enough momentum that what you're

(20:00):
seeing as an outsider is like praise, praise, praise, rightse
But like, I'm sure you have bad show, like you
have shows or you last night leave the stage and
you're like, damn, that was a bad worst show I've
ever done. That I told you it felt to me
in fifty shows the worst show I done, and it's
one of the fun it's like one of the and
it's one of the fine. And we talked about it
is because it was very very hot in the theater,

(20:20):
I think. But then you don't know if you're blaming that.
You're like one of those people who's like, well it
was it was hot in the theater, so it wasn't me.
I go all the way in the other direction because
I'm so I've been so brainwashed. Never blame anyone. But
you're like, especially for live performance, never blame the audience.
Never blame the band. You never blame the tech. It's like,
if you can't make mark, blame It's like, we know
people that could make it work anywhere, Like you know

(20:43):
what I mean, like, and we know those people, so
it is possible. I had to be I had to
watch myself last night. I had to say on the
mic Morgan, be nice because I felt myself get so angry.

Speaker 1 (20:55):
That's what then.

Speaker 3 (20:56):
But then again, it's like the show was fine. In
my mind, it wasn't good, but it's fine.

Speaker 2 (21:02):
That's what I was gonna ask, is like, was it
like you're so used to like a rapturous audience that
it was like, you know, more medium audience.

Speaker 3 (21:11):
And I yes, And I decided that within the first
five seconds. I was like, I failed. I can't get
it back. And it's like, yeah, it's a disease. I
think it's terrible, terminal, it's horrible.

Speaker 2 (21:24):
I've been I think blaming the audience is one of
the funniest things you can do. Though, I really love
when comedians do it as a zoom out because I
think it's.

Speaker 3 (21:31):
Case something they're blaming the audience. It's actually so interesting
because blaming the audience is literally like bigotry. You are
grouping them all. They are not similar. It's like the audience.
There are people in the audience that are of all
different ages, genders, audience based on you know, classes, Like

(21:52):
you're saying the audience. That's not a group of monoliths.
That's not that's like someone saying like I hate women,
Thank you for bringing it there, you know what I mean. No,
I'm glad you said it. That is literally and like me,
you had the audience is bigotry, Like you are making
up a class of people that you're making the enemy.

Speaker 4 (22:11):
And it's like, that's how we got to where we are.

Speaker 3 (22:13):
That's how we got it literally the history. Yeah, and
that's what your show is about. So that's what my
show is literally about. And you're so right, and it's
and and and actually what when when you get into
the mindset of like, oh, they're a monolog you have
to start looking, oh they're not, Like oh, there's actually
so many different experiences happening here, and I'm projecting one
uniform experience and not just that. But here's the thing. Yeah,
when you're let's say bombing, Yeah, here's what's happening, there

(22:35):
are at least three four people that are loving it,
and they're the minority. So in fact, you have to
demo form even better for them, because that is doing
like activism supporting a marginalized community. Anti there's a marginalized
community that is within this audience.

Speaker 4 (22:53):
It's like the ds General.

Speaker 3 (22:56):
The DSA, the four DSA members loving it there and
you have to speak to them and you serve the people.
I think this is.

Speaker 2 (23:04):
It's reminding me less of a you know, a race
or a gender and more of a sort of like
sort of renative like America in an election.

Speaker 3 (23:12):
America in an election where you're sort.

Speaker 2 (23:14):
Of like America like it's easy to be like America
is fucking stupid.

Speaker 3 (23:17):
You look out there's Joe the Plumber.

Speaker 2 (23:18):
Yeah, and you're like, I fucking hate this country. And
then you're like, no, I like it's like, let's see
at the map during the election, it's like, Okay, I
hate Pennsylvania, and it's like, okay, Pennsylvania sucks.

Speaker 1 (23:29):
New York.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
Oh, I kind of like, I kind of like that
part of the audience over there, right, demographic map right,
And then you observe to remind myself, oh, mynd this
is where the narcism comes in.

Speaker 3 (23:38):
These people have had a whole other day that has
nothing to do with you. They're not even reacting their faces.
They've had a life. I'm sorry, I can't be thinking
about their lives. They haven't, don't. They're literally, like statistically
some of them are grieving.

Speaker 2 (23:53):
No, that's literally literally, And we're like, you hated it,
you hate me, and you're like, no, I actually just
my mom died.

Speaker 4 (24:01):
I just got bad news this morning.

Speaker 3 (24:04):
As a very public assassination yesterday.

Speaker 4 (24:06):
Maybe that affected.

Speaker 2 (24:07):
Them, Yeah, maybe that too. Maybe they saw on the
internet all day long.

Speaker 3 (24:11):
Yes, I watched the Hearing film on repeat all I
went to the Morgan show Now Something to hear about
an unknown gay comedian in the nineties.

Speaker 4 (24:23):
Morgan was pissed because we were laughing. Meanwhile, I've seen
horrible things all day long.

Speaker 1 (24:29):
I said, I am.

Speaker 4 (24:33):
I think you know how people can sort.

Speaker 3 (24:35):
Of go insane if they like meditate too hard and
like unlock hearing about problem.

Speaker 2 (24:40):
I think there's something where I'm like, it's almost dangerous
to think too hard about what the audience is feeling.

Speaker 3 (24:46):
You've got to stan out of it. You've got to
stay out there in your business. It's none of your business.

Speaker 2 (24:49):
Because sometimes I'll be like, Okay, what would an audience
like as an audience member? What would I want to
feel when I watched this now? And I'm like, no, no, no,
no, no no no, Dan, your own yeah, perspective.

Speaker 3 (24:59):
Wait, I've been hearing I know two people personally that
had psychotic breaks from my show, personally from your show. Yeah. Yeah,
you need to edit together because you're causing workers on site.
You need to Okay, I do you want to be safe?

Speaker 4 (25:14):
Wait, and you know one person.

Speaker 3 (25:16):
So that's three people psychotic breaks from men, from meditating
from It's a real thing, you guys people, I'm really worried.
This is I'm gonna get Bernie. Keep going call let
me call Bernie while you guys talk about we need
Bernie and Orna here starting.

Speaker 4 (25:32):
We need Bernie because I need meditating too much.

Speaker 3 (25:35):
Yeah, Bernie is gonna talk about it oligarchy tour.

Speaker 4 (25:39):
He's going to change it.

Speaker 3 (25:40):
From would you say excessive meditation is related to oligarchy? Honey,
you need me to spell it out?

Speaker 1 (25:47):
Please?

Speaker 3 (25:48):
Do I want you to?

Speaker 4 (25:48):
Yeah, listen, we live in a world.

Speaker 3 (25:52):
I'm getting I had never thought that that perspective. I've
never thought about it. It's true that like we do
exist in the context I didn't even want to do
and you did.

Speaker 4 (26:01):
And that's the thing. You can't exist.

Speaker 3 (26:08):
Don't you hate when you go into meme speak without one?
Of course, it's so half of my day.

Speaker 2 (26:13):
I'm being like, okay, so this reminds me of this
meme that I saw, and I have to say it
with like a I hate that I'm saying this, but
it is like it does does remind me of that
sometimes means you have a helpful framework.

Speaker 3 (26:25):
I can't see the word vibe anymore. It's like, but
sometimes it is a vibe, and yet you have to
say things have vibes all the time, and then it's
just that I doesn't shift.

Speaker 2 (26:33):
Sorry, Wow, I'm really Yeah. Tell you guys for sharing
about your what you've been going through.

Speaker 3 (26:39):
I'm going to do like your show, but with Kamala Harris.
It's going to be like me talking about like the
little known politician nam Kamala Harris.

Speaker 4 (26:45):
Yes, people, people have forgotten you were from.

Speaker 3 (26:48):
Twenty exactly before. And I'm going to do here from
the it's like how you do his you know, his
moteen hislogue. I'm going to do Kamala's d NC speech
which she says we need to have the most deadly
military in the in the world, and then m huff.

Speaker 1 (27:07):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (27:09):
So psychotic breaks from meditation. We had to be worried.
We've got to be worried. We've got to be worried.
I feel about having a psychotic way for meditation. Obviously,
I don't want to have a psychotic way for meditating
too much, but I'm like, god, it would be nice
to get close, yeah, which is also how I feel
about when people are like I'm a workaholic and it's
like life, I'm like, I wish, Yeah, I wish I
were that because I'm like a lazy haulic.

Speaker 4 (27:29):
Me do that's crazy?

Speaker 3 (27:31):
Like I'm literally like, oh, it can't work, it's the summer. Also, sorry,
but you're if you're naturally a workaholic, that's a privilege.
You should be able to You should have to pay
more taxes for you to work. That's hard for me, right, Okay,
I think the psychotic break during meditating is unfortunately like gonna.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
Make people like it honestly, triggers something republican in me,
a desire to like it, triggers like a that's why
I don't look in word like oh like makes me
feel like justified in like being like, just move forward,
don't process that.

Speaker 3 (28:04):
It is a sort of literalizing of like the concept
that we're all over therapized and over medicaid. It's like, look,
people are having people are having psychotic breaks from medicating extremes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay,
we need to do her first segment. Oh my god,
Oh my god. Okay, So basically, Morgan, our first segment
is called straight Shooters, and in this segment, we gauge

(28:26):
your familiarity with in complicity and straight culture by asking
a series of rapid fire questions where you have to
choose one thing or another thing.

Speaker 4 (28:34):
So it's just a or B. It's a or B.

Speaker 3 (28:36):
And the one rule is we can't ask any follow
up questions about how the game works, and if you do,
we're gonna actually cancel your show early. Okay, We're gonna
call the theater and we're gonna say it's it's over,
it's over, it's the wrap. Now what did you say?
And I am answering a question, So that sounds like
that sort of is what you're going to last.

Speaker 4 (28:55):
Yeah, and I think we need to get all the weapons.

Speaker 3 (28:58):
I think to me to really look and word straight
or not straight? No, that's a question.

Speaker 4 (29:02):
Wait, I'm sorry.

Speaker 3 (29:04):
Okay, so Morgan, Yeah, hippy long stockings okay? Or Tipper Gore,
Oh b okay, silk chiffon or milk coupon. Oh a
musical chairs or pharmaceutical affairs.

Speaker 2 (29:22):
Oh b okay, a tailored suit or a gay lord.

Speaker 3 (29:27):
Aka fruit Oh personally a tonight we ball or my
flight is out of the gaull.

Speaker 2 (29:41):
Hmmm ba be okay, stand culture has gone too far
or damn vultures have come to swarm.

Speaker 3 (29:55):
B absolutely Tate McCrae. Or wait, I'm gay? You said
Tate McRae, Tate McCray, Tate McRae. Do you not know
who that is? I would love to know your media consumption.
We can't get to that. I'm like a thousand years old.
What who's Tate McRae. Okay, First of all, the points.
Are you are literally like, no one has ever scored

(30:16):
this love and I have one more and it's really
worth it.

Speaker 2 (30:19):
What is it, okay, a brand partnership or a Sam
fart and ship?

Speaker 3 (30:27):
Oh damn, yeah, wow, you're going south Park mode.

Speaker 1 (30:32):
Yeah it's time.

Speaker 3 (30:34):
I mean, hey, wow, some incredible facial expression. Is it
getting captured?

Speaker 1 (30:41):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (30:42):
I think I think so. Okay, So we rank everyone's
performance on a scale of zero to one thousand dubs. Right,
the bird basically gotta song, basically gotta song. I actually
love the I love answering A or B. Right, that
was the word. I thought it was very made it.

(31:02):
People just be like, oh, Tate McCray, like, and hey
see that's why. Okay, I got lost in the question. Okay,
so I like, I did it wrong. No, see you didn't.
You're saying you're mad.

Speaker 4 (31:13):
Actually, the fact that you just said Sam just said mad,
I think.

Speaker 3 (31:17):
You're doing it wrong. It's like, we're gonna have to
duct points for that because you're not living in the
moment and you're thinking like in like rigid terms, extremely rigid. Basically,
let's see saying Reggie and now we're going to add
points because that's draw de viv So it's it's complicated
having an unal situation with rigidity.

Speaker 4 (31:35):
We really are.

Speaker 3 (31:36):
It's passing. It's I know, and I have to say
i'd love it. I'm loving our conversation. I feel very
lose conversationally. Physically, I've never felt more rigid. There's like
nothing I can do to get out. Really do you
still feel it? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (31:51):
Really, you see more relaxed.

Speaker 3 (31:52):
Thank you. So I just breathed for the first time
in forty five minutes. You gotta breathe, You gotta breathe.
Your score is seven hundred. Okay, no, go say what
you want to say now. Now you can. Now you
can say whatever you want. The game is over.

Speaker 2 (32:09):
You Before your language was being policed, before the before
your language was being policed, and now now you're free.

Speaker 3 (32:17):
Yeah. I just really appreciate the humblingness of that experience.
And I fully blacked out. I was dissociated from beginning
to add But I like that. I'm still this, I'm
still this. I'm I'm dissociated right now.

Speaker 4 (32:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (32:29):
I started when you said we're about to do a segment,
and then I it's continuing to right now. And is
that good?

Speaker 2 (32:37):
I think it's there's Actually it's interesting. This segment is
obviously stupid, means nothing.

Speaker 3 (32:42):
No, it sucks, You're not We're not saying that to
like appease you. It's literally designed to make the guests
go crazy because it's unclear what they need to do
and all of them are like, wait, so what am
I okay? And so then it gets to basically the
challenges within this funhouse mirror of the musical, of the

(33:05):
musical that we're putting you in. What performance are you
gonna well?

Speaker 2 (33:10):
And even there's a certain type which I think maybe
you are, which is you really want to be right.

Speaker 3 (33:15):
Yeah, And I'm like that too, and it's I want
to be good, you want to be good. I just
want to follow the rules. Yeah, that's how I feel
like that interaction is how I feel in every interaction.
I'm just like, just tell me what the rule is,
Like I don't even care. I've never thought about it.

Speaker 2 (33:27):
You know.

Speaker 3 (33:27):
It is actually an emblematic of the world at large.
It's like you're going around trying to find rules. Just
tell me the norms. Yeah, because I feel like I
missed the class, I missed the one on one on norms.
I'm like whoa how it alps to act, But norms
have never been rigid? Is this weird?

Speaker 2 (33:45):
Changing always it's like the audience audience, Oh my god,
this is yeah, this is honestly here how I've been
feeling about fashion, which I keep talking about. I'm so
glad you named it because I never know what is normal.
Like I'm like, I don't know what's normal, so that I.

Speaker 4 (34:01):
Can so I can.

Speaker 3 (34:04):
I see what you're saying, Yeah, well you're looking.

Speaker 2 (34:06):
But the thing is because I'm like, what if I
show up and everyone's like, you look insane?

Speaker 3 (34:10):
Well, we were thinking yeah, but that is the thing
about I feel like, now you know.

Speaker 4 (34:14):
Like what is insane?

Speaker 2 (34:15):
And then if you're like I'm wearing a unique cloth shirt,
they're like, you look insane.

Speaker 4 (34:19):
There's no way knowing.

Speaker 3 (34:20):
There's no way of knowing. Yeah, it's so confusing. That's
the end. So Morgan George, I just had this moment
of like, maybe that's not your name, well, which is
something that's happening more and more. Oh, go to people
I know. I'm like, oh, maybe I'm about to say

(34:42):
the wrong name out loud. Dear friends, dear friends. I'm
like introducing people i've known for a decade, and I'm like,
this is what's that?

Speaker 1 (34:49):
What is that?

Speaker 3 (34:50):
It's self doubt. It's because you self doubt, you just
like think you're going to be wrong.

Speaker 4 (34:55):
I think that's what it is.

Speaker 3 (34:56):
I also think, Oh, I hope I'm able to articulate.

Speaker 1 (34:59):
This.

Speaker 3 (35:00):
Life is so repetitive that sometimes it's you have done
something such as introducing a friend so many times that
you're like, what if At some point I snap, like
how many more times can I do this? And pretend
it's normal that I'm doing it over and over again
until I'm like, well, I don't give a fuck who

(35:20):
this is just fucking talk about how like nice?

Speaker 1 (35:23):
This part?

Speaker 3 (35:23):
Like how many it's It's like how people like go
crazy when they're like making small talk or something. I'm like,
when am I gonna snap put a name tag on?

Speaker 1 (35:33):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (35:34):
Girl, put your name tags on?

Speaker 2 (35:36):
Girl, put your name tags on. I want there to
be fashion rules so that you can play within the margin.
I agree, I want name tags on. Tell me what
you want me to bring to the event. Tell me
the heck give me the Google spreadsheet of what's being brought.
I'm not I don't want to bring wine. And if
there's gonna be twenty bottles of wine. Just tell me

(35:57):
what you need? Do you need napkins?

Speaker 1 (36:00):
Hell me?

Speaker 3 (36:00):
Do you ever go into a party and are like, well,
I want them to see I brought some things, So
I'm just gonna carry bottle until I see the host.
Sometimes that's not right at the door. Sometimes you're like
walking around for quite a long time holding the bottle
so that you see the host and you're like check,
you know, and put it down, just for it to

(36:21):
like sit there in that person's apartment for god knows
how many years, never to be opened on the credit
you want the credit? Yeah, can I tell you something crazy?

Speaker 1 (36:30):
Please?

Speaker 2 (36:31):
You know I've done this sometimes that they don't like
if there's like a lot of stuff.

Speaker 3 (36:34):
There and bring it back, Sam, If there's like a
lot of stuff there, I'm like, and then you like
bring it to a shelter or something.

Speaker 4 (36:42):
Well, yeah, of course, I'm like, here's some tequila.

Speaker 3 (36:47):
Somebody supposed bring it back.

Speaker 2 (36:49):
Not always, but if there's like a lot of stuff
and nobody's touching it, Okay.

Speaker 3 (36:53):
So this is where we get into like what am
I supposed to be crucified?

Speaker 1 (36:58):
Now?

Speaker 3 (36:59):
This is where we get in to like ethics. So
if you're doing if you're doing that, here's another question
for you. You see a bunch of things that are untouched,
is it equally or more unethical to take a different,
better bottle, white elephant. That's wrong, that's just not right.
But why because that's for someone else to take home.

Speaker 4 (37:19):
Everyone take your own bottle home.

Speaker 2 (37:22):
Home, why I'll be home. Look, I'm not doing this
all the time, just every you've done it before.

Speaker 3 (37:31):
I love when you share something and immediately becomes so human,
like it work. No one's even judging you, but you're
like no. I love confessing things that I am embarrassed. Yeah,
you do. I overcompensate and I tear up easy because
I now it's gonna seem like I'm bragging, but I'm not.
But I don't drink, so I don't so so then

(37:52):
I then I so, then I feel guilty. Only bring
one bottle of seltzer. Two bottles. Then I overcompensate and
I'm bringing like a shopping car full of seltzer. Yay,
And then that's real and that's overcompensating.

Speaker 4 (38:04):
That's just for season.

Speaker 3 (38:06):
That's part where to drive. Thanks for giving us a space.
I just want to say thank you overcompensated for giving
for a holding space. So here's a question for you. Okay,
not to get it too personal, but how long have
you not drank well? And this I have follow a
question of this. It's not We're not just gonna talk

(38:28):
about your sobriting. No, I mean I think we should
just shot you think sobriety straight. This is sort of
what I want to get into. Four and a half years. Okay,
four and a half years. I would say pandemic vibe,
pandemic vibes, and I would say pandemic vibes brings up

(38:48):
something pandemic, pandemic just my follow up. I just want
to say pandemic.

Speaker 4 (38:51):
Okay, Okay, I see you pandemic vibes.

Speaker 3 (38:54):
I see a pandemic virus in the context bob shift, Okay,
it's time for a change globally during a pandemic. Men,
while I was banging pots and pants, okay.

Speaker 2 (39:09):
While I'm not talking banging potsive pans, you're saying I
need to change.

Speaker 4 (39:12):
Okay, Okay, okay.

Speaker 2 (39:13):
Major life changes, okay, pandemic HiT's different when you're more good.

Speaker 3 (39:21):
One time, my I was like talking to my friend's
sister who is like a sort of respectable woman in
her thirties, like normal, normal, normal jealas, two kids, normal husband, whatever,
And I.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
Was nice, I'm turned on, yeah exactly, like like yeah,
a belly like what normal, like not too skinny, right,
like not like runner every morning, normal right.

Speaker 3 (39:58):
Like shaped beard that there's still neckcare.

Speaker 4 (40:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:01):
And he's like mowing the lawn yeah, yeah, yeah, Polo
tucked into Khaki's.

Speaker 1 (40:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (40:09):
Nice birken Stocks, Birkenstocks and stocks old Birkenstocks.

Speaker 3 (40:15):
Like the light beige suede and it's like dirty, yeah,
the top, the front part is dirty.

Speaker 1 (40:20):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (40:20):
And she's always like, We've got to get you some
new birkan Stocks and he's like.

Speaker 4 (40:26):
Fuck, so what's their their deal?

Speaker 3 (40:38):
He's an it guy.

Speaker 4 (40:41):
He's like always so good at it. He's like oh,
but then you're out to dinner and you're like talk.

Speaker 3 (40:46):
Yeah yeah, and you're like, I guess I had to
do everything.

Speaker 4 (40:49):
So did you see the news today?

Speaker 1 (40:52):
Right? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (40:52):
And password managers? Yeah, And you want to like him,
but the way he speaks.

Speaker 2 (40:58):
To her, yeah, I'm sorry, I'm getting lost in his haircut,
it's so like the same length all over.

Speaker 3 (41:06):
It's just like, you actually make a significant amount of money,
you have a normal career, you have two kids. Like
your wife is wearing this beautiful dress. You know it's reformation.
Maybe make an effort work on your microbiome. Literally, he
hasn't shat in weeks. Literally, I'm like worried about this
person's I'm thinking about the guy. There's a smell.

Speaker 4 (41:27):
It affects everything.

Speaker 3 (41:28):
Yeah, exactly, nobody's talking about that.

Speaker 4 (41:30):
Nobody's talking about it.

Speaker 3 (41:32):
Well, I guess everywhere, but he's not Ye not tuning
into the conversation. You know, who's making his doctor's appointments,
the wife zoc doc. I feel like you were on
the jour and I feel like, so we were talking
about memes speak and I just I had this distinct
memory talking. I was in my twenties at the time.

(41:52):
I was living with tubermaids, and we were like talking
about our days and we're like, oh, we like when
to the story we did this, this, we cook, we
made a little and whatever. And then the sister who's
like adult normal girl, the sister goes just completely stone faced.
She goes, Wow, you guys are killing it at the
adulting game. Yeah, that fills me with such sadness.

Speaker 4 (42:15):
Me too, Me too. It's tough.

Speaker 3 (42:18):
It's tough because that's really sad.

Speaker 2 (42:21):
It's like wanting to connect. It's like a desire to
be like in it, but like not understanding that you
have to like think of.

Speaker 3 (42:29):
Your own thing, like a militarized version.

Speaker 4 (42:32):
Yes, it's yes.

Speaker 3 (42:33):
It's very much looking in the book of phrases and
being like I guess I could combine those two. This
really makes me really sad. That makes me so let's
get her on the line.

Speaker 2 (42:43):
Yeah, I need her to meditate until she has a
fucking mental break. I'll see you on the other side,
miss mama. Oh god, I love New York.

Speaker 1 (43:03):
Just good.

Speaker 3 (43:05):
God.

Speaker 1 (43:05):
I love New York.

Speaker 3 (43:06):
Your commitment to interpreting everything as being as being about
the city one of the most charming qualities about you.
It's like place based. We're in a studio, we can't
even see outside. We're having a conversation. It sounds like
I love New York and yet and yet you're right.
So you have a straight topic that you brought I

(43:28):
do which is very connected to this, and it's very yes,
which is why I really want to get to it.
So tell us what is your straight topic and what
is straight about it? Okay, well, the story topic that
that came to me as a result of the question
was misery. I think I think straight is I think
straight is misery is straight. Hence the case example evidence
this this thiss Ongna person.

Speaker 2 (43:53):
You can live your whole life and you on your
person on a podcast.

Speaker 3 (43:56):
Yeah, but it's like you're I think about this. It's
like you're saying it's a miserable existence. Yes, to have
the husband and to say you're killing it at the
adulting game. Yes, there's no way out. But then what
if that person you know, fulfilled family church, looks at

(44:18):
you says they are an off Broadway performer with no children.
How miserable?

Speaker 1 (44:29):
This is?

Speaker 3 (44:29):
No children is my favorite part of myself or of course,
but from her perspective, well that's right. Well, well, I
think that's the thing about about disavowal is that they're
disavowing their own misery and projecting on us. So like
we are like the screens for all of their own
projected suffering and self loathing. That's just like, oh my god, honey,

(44:51):
are every you know, every accusation is a confession. We're
like what's going on over there?

Speaker 2 (44:55):
Wow, I so weaponized misery. Thank you. You can just
put weaponize if anything now now culture and Anya, who
that has happened, Well, that.

Speaker 4 (45:10):
Happened to me.

Speaker 3 (45:11):
Don't joke about that. I got a mental break because
the wea and I appreciate you. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (45:16):
Yeah, I think there's something in the same way that
we were talking about the people who meditate too hard
and have a mental break, and I'm like, well, thank god,
I'm not looking inward.

Speaker 3 (45:25):
There's something about straight people seeing how we are constantly
still searching yes and being like, well, thank god, I'm
not that yes, And it's sort of like, well, it's
actually fun to sort of, you know, continue this journey.

Speaker 4 (45:38):
Do you ever Sometimes I look around and you're like, wow,
if they really know what we.

Speaker 3 (45:41):
Did, they're kind of right, yeah, well that's like you're
in some basements somewhere and you're like, well, I get
what you're saying.

Speaker 4 (45:49):
You know what I mean, I see where the.

Speaker 3 (45:52):
Devil is here. I get what you're saying.

Speaker 4 (45:55):
I totally agree with you.

Speaker 3 (45:57):
But then do you think they are ever like, damn,
we're having missionary sex once a year. They're right about like,
you know what I think jealousy is a big motivation
of the right. Yeah, I think. I think like supremacist
ideologies are really often brooded in like jealousy of joy
and connection to like the earth and the body, and

(46:18):
it's like own it instead of murdering, do you know
what I mean?

Speaker 1 (46:21):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (46:21):
Yeah, how about that? Think about that, Calma.

Speaker 2 (46:26):
I went to the airport yesterday, Oh my god, and yeah,
thank you. And it was actually kind of a groundwreaking
experience because maybe the first time since I've been an
adult that I didn't open a gay sex app while
at the airport in my whole life. That's like and
obviously not like getting out there something was wrong.

Speaker 3 (46:44):
I guess.

Speaker 2 (46:45):
I was just like like there was like a I
didn't have. I was just like, what where is this
actually gonna lead? Like for once in my life, Yeah,
for once in my life, I had like I was
able to think ahead and be.

Speaker 3 (46:56):
Like, well, what's the point play the tape?

Speaker 4 (46:58):
Play the tape after hundreds of times of.

Speaker 2 (47:00):
Sitting at airport just being like, well, I guess I'll
look at the sex apps just and then it's always
at the wrong gate. They're always like I'm actually internal three. Yeah,
I'm see what. There's no I can't there's no way
to get that happen.

Speaker 3 (47:11):
What's up? Oh my grandma died. I'm gonna hurt.

Speaker 2 (47:18):
Literally, and this I was like, what's like? I was
actually a little scared because I was like, I'm being
so like levelheaded about all this.

Speaker 1 (47:24):
What did you do instead? I?

Speaker 3 (47:29):
Yeah, You're like, I'm going to be mature about this.
I'm not going on grind. I'm just gonna jerk chatter bait.
And then I'm just gonna go on chatterbare can at
the call no I chatterbait is. In an earlier point
in my life, I went for a real chatterbait face

(47:50):
and I had to be like stop, no, yeah, it's
very era. I was like, this is not okay, No,
it's not talk about losing a day.

Speaker 5 (47:59):
Talk about losing a day, talk about losing a day,
and my god. And then you're also like, who is
funding these rooms? Like when it's like, oh the rooms
like some some of the rooms where it's like three guys,
You're like that can't be good. Oh not to well,
not to kill it by.

Speaker 3 (48:19):
Making the point, but this so anyway, So.

Speaker 2 (48:24):
I think I just looked at Instagram. Actually, I don't
think I opened my book yet. I think I was
just sort of like I think and honestly, if I'm
being truthful, I do it.

Speaker 3 (48:32):
I think it was just because it was really early
in the morning.

Speaker 4 (48:34):
Yeah, so you just jerked off the book in the book.

Speaker 3 (48:37):
Yeah, jerked out in the book. Wait, I want to
This is a difficult question. I'm sorry, but I think
it'll be fruitful. Okay, how do we define miss misery?
It's a really good question because what's the distinction between.

Speaker 2 (48:54):
Like misery versus suffering and misery versus like sadness.

Speaker 3 (48:58):
I'm like, is misery a helplessness in the face of
not being able to get what you want or surrender
to it? Like like I feel like like, yes, the
gay misery is like the constant wanting, yes, which is
like bad, but also it keeps us going. Submission to
helplessness is like a really good It's just like, well,

(49:19):
this is it's a resignation. Resignation, which to me is
such an abhorrent thing. Like it's so that's I mean,
you'll meet you'll meet straight people who are like, well
this is just how you know, and it's like is
it is it just how it is. Why this is
what I love about gay people like it? Why does
it have to be like that? And the resignation freaks

(49:41):
me out. The regignation feels like Julianne Moore and safe
for whatever, you know what I mean? Like that feels
like that, that kind of moment. Yeah, you're absolutely right,
and there is a the constant searching can also be tragic.
It's absolutely tragic, you know, and we should be because
resignation and if there's a spectrum and it's resignation on

(50:01):
one hand, constant searching on the other, both of them
basically lead to uh, psycho failic, yes, you know what
I mean, like or rather, I guess resignation doesn't lead
to it leads to complete like neutrality, whereas constant searching
inevitably leads to failure because you're never gonna find what
you're looking. I have one, I have one. Okay, straight

(50:23):
is misery. Gay is tragedy, wow, because it's being able
to think on top of that, Wait, this is tragic.

Speaker 2 (50:32):
Yeah, and you're being like, damn, I'm shooting so big
and I don't care what's gonna.

Speaker 3 (50:35):
Happen, and I'm gonna lose.

Speaker 2 (50:37):
Yeah, and it's always tragic. But then straight it's like
that's never gonna come true. I'll just stay where I am.

Speaker 3 (50:42):
M M, I'm really with you. You have piercing eyes. I
know they're so intense. I know, I know it's so intense,
and sometimes I have to turn it down. I imagine
a dial just like turned down in my gaze. And
sometimes when I'm in my thoughts, the gay gets even
more intense. All that to say, I think tragedy, Yeah,

(51:05):
what is the definition of tragedy again, because I know, like,
what does tragedy mean? I'm not trying to put everybody
on the spot. You were reading a book, so it's
actually comedy minus time, right, so if you actually reverse that,
So okay.

Speaker 4 (51:21):
You know that's an amazing question.

Speaker 2 (51:22):
I guess I was thinking of it more in the
sense of like having a big goal and failing.

Speaker 3 (51:27):
But oh, I was thinking about it in terms of
like instilling the misery with meaning, like if something, if
someone is a tragic character that actually and here's what's
gay about it? That makes you a diva? Like okay,
So I'm okay, let's say I'm deeply unhappy. I'm waking
up every day I'm so unhappy with my life. I'm
a tragic character. Well, that means that there should be

(51:49):
a movie about me like that. That means that I
am significant, whereas the resignation of just being miserable is
like I'm nothing. Right, that's what I like? That definitely, Yeah,
that's what and and and we can critics, we can
be critical of our concert search for more, but at
least it doesn't mute our our desire, which you know

(52:09):
what I mean? Like and I feel like the resionation
mutes the desire over and then you just want to
control other people's desire. Yes, you're like your desires threatening
to me, so I have to squash it. It's the
difference between muting and then putting the volume so far
up that it's like, can anyone hear anything that's exactly right?
That that's that's LGBT. Yeah, damn. Okay, here's a question

(52:34):
for you. Okay, what do you feel about the phrase
misery loves company? Is that that's marriage, that's marriage, that's
dinner parties, that's dinner parties. That's a family's family, and
that's a family. It is that is a family totally.

Speaker 4 (52:48):
That's true.

Speaker 3 (52:49):
You're stuck here.

Speaker 2 (52:51):
I'm I don't place for I'm finding the point of
children to be more confusing than ever.

Speaker 3 (52:55):
I think about this all the time because I you
would think that as you get older, you your views
get more solidified. It's actually something I'm realizing, not just
with kids, but with everything I was always taught. As
you get older, your views kurdle, like that people become
more conservative or even on the other side of things,
like an aging hippie, just because it's like you're regurgitating
the same shit over and over again. You're going to

(53:17):
the same protests, You're just holding the same sign exactly. Yes, literally,
like you just curdle into more of who you are.
And I am finding the complete opposite to be true,
which is I'm more and more confused about what my
beliefs are as I get older. Yeah, And I would
say kids is a great example where like you would
think at this point, I'm like, Okay, definitively I want kids,
definitively I don't want kids. I've never been more undecided. Really, yeah,

(53:41):
I agree.

Speaker 2 (53:42):
I'm literally like, okay, wait what is because I'm like,
I see the goal, but I'm like, but there's like
I'm sort of like what is the point. Like it's
really confusing because so many people are like, I'm having kids, people,
who's going to take care of you when you're older.

Speaker 3 (53:53):
I'm like, I don't want to have kids to have
free help, free help are right, And.

Speaker 2 (53:59):
It's also like and then being like, well it'll be nice,
Like there's a part of me that has a fantasy
of being like, we would be nice to like have
kids as like a progressive person, because then you could
like in still progressive ideals. And I'm like, well, they're
not my tools like to like for political gain either,
Like I think that's docks whatever.

Speaker 3 (54:15):
I'll just anyways, yeah, anyways. But even everything you're thinking now,
if you were to have had kids at twenty two,
your mind would not have even been involved enough to
have those thoughts.

Speaker 4 (54:24):
So it just is easier.

Speaker 3 (54:25):
Like I think that you just know too much as
you get older, so then every decision is impossible. I mean,
my dog is fourteen. Isn't that crazy? When did you
get this dog? I got him when I was twenty three.
How old was the dog?

Speaker 4 (54:39):
He was two?

Speaker 3 (54:40):
Oh my god? Yeah, you've had to do grandchildren. This
is a crazy school family. I could have a fifteen
fifteen year old? Fourteen year old? What'd I say before fourteen? Yeah,
but you it sounds like you were saying you may
have a desire for it, like there was I think
both of us are sort of undecided. I mean, I
don't know this is.

Speaker 2 (54:59):
And I were back to orne Yeah yeah, yeah, and
we wouldn't you want to do it if the other
one didn't, right?

Speaker 4 (55:04):
And you know what the thing is, there's almost something
that's true.

Speaker 2 (55:08):
There's something about like the lack of If I were
straight and it was like all my friends are having kids,
I'd be like, okay, well, like I basically have kids anyway,
but now as a gay person, it would be such
a choice and such a like removal from the community
of solo.

Speaker 3 (55:25):
Shows they have kids, yes, but this is I was
explaining this to a friend of mine. I was like,
a straight friend. I was like, so, you know how
straight people without kids in your community are marginalized, Like
they're like, god, she could have you know, she never
had kids. Yeah, that's what it is when you do
have rights, because we know people that have kids and
it's like, yeah, they're not coming to the parties. They
struggle feel belonging. Yeah, yeah, and some of them, like

(55:49):
I mean, not anyone I'm thinking of right now, but
like I could imagine, it's also easy to then develop
a resentment that's like why aret my friends hanging out
with me? Yes, it's like, well, because you have twins,
and then you're telling you the straight people all the time,
because so it's just as like it's it's not just
the decision of like kids versus no kids, it's the
decision of my life is radically changing in terms of

(56:11):
like the possibilities of who I surround myself with.

Speaker 1 (56:13):
Do you want kids? Oh?

Speaker 3 (56:15):
My god, absolutely not Okay, and you've always known yes,
it's actually the only thing I've known clearly. I feel
like everything else about me, I am my jury's fully out. Yeah,
Like I don't even know what the options are, but
that one New York versus LA. It's a New York
versus LA.

Speaker 4 (56:32):
But I love, you know what I love?

Speaker 3 (56:33):
I have a niece, obviously, we love having niece.

Speaker 4 (56:36):
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, they all have nieces.

Speaker 3 (56:38):
We all have nieces.

Speaker 4 (56:38):
We all have nieces.

Speaker 3 (56:39):
Yeah. How old are mine?

Speaker 4 (56:40):
Lives?

Speaker 3 (56:41):
Literally a walk away from no, that's amazing. Yeah, I
like want to see her, bitch of the day care.
Oh my god, get her out.

Speaker 4 (56:47):
I know we should have her on as a guest.

Speaker 3 (56:50):
She's got her on the pod. How old is she?
She's like nineteen months at this point. Oh my god,
she's tiny. She's really small. And you're about to turn three. Oh,
oh my god, how old is your nine? You guys,
And I'm having those feelings of I don't want her
to age. Yeah, well, it's like going to become so back.

Speaker 4 (57:10):
Yeah, you're like a weld bitch. She came to my show.

Speaker 3 (57:14):
By the way, she came to my show, and she
after she goes, she kind of liked it. I mean,
are you like so cool to her? I both cool
and not cool. Like she won't talk to me on
the phone. She only talked to her friends on the phone.
She does not want to talk to me. But then
when we're around each other. I love her so much,

(57:34):
but I can really see how like the sadness of
kids aging, you know, because you want them to be
little forever, which is like crazy because that's literally not
what they're meant to do. It's also I mean, not
to it happened. I'm trying to not say it happened
so fast, because that is a cliche, but that is
the point I'm trying to make. It's like, think about

(57:56):
when you were young. You know, four years was such
a long time, I know, and it's like, wow, we've
changed so much since fifth grade, y'all. Now, if you're
a parent, four years goes like that, goes by like that,
you have like three late nights at work. You've missed
a year of your kid's life that's never coming back.
I mean, talk about misery, folks, literuly, I mean truly,

(58:18):
because that parenting is is misery. It's and it's just
lost after loss after loss after I mean, like and
that I don't think I'm emotionally mature. That's why, by
the way, I'm just not emotional and be okay with
doing so much for no gratitude in return the opposite
even now that I.

Speaker 2 (58:40):
Like, well that's that's like, that's part of the what's
the point where I'm like, there's this fantasy of like, well,
when they're twenty five, they're going to be like, damn
you rock that, mama, and it's like no, no, they're
going to be like.

Speaker 3 (58:51):
You didn't give me enough, Like I can't stand you
even now, I know I'm not grateful enough to my parents.
I talk about it with my sisters like I'm never
gonna go and be like, hey, I just wanted to say, like,
you guys did a really good job, because then they'll
say something and you'd be like.

Speaker 2 (59:05):
Yeah, whatever they say, we'll be wrong, and then the
cycle starts a little bit.

Speaker 3 (59:11):
It's like whatever, you know. They love to say the
wrong thing. God, and I honestly like respect it. Like
they're playing straight shooters and it's like right thing wrong
things like wrong.

Speaker 4 (59:23):
Wrong.

Speaker 2 (59:24):
It's such an interesting thing where I like you almost
like I'm confusing. People are like hurt by it because
I'm like, well, that's parents. I know they say the
wrong thing.

Speaker 3 (59:31):
That's parents. My mom loves to do this thing where
you'll complain about something in your life and her response
would be like, well but you chose that. It's like no, yeah,
like oh my god, that's so. But when you say
it again, because it kind of was like thrilling, yeah, well,

(59:55):
especially when and she won't even mean it in like
a negative way.

Speaker 4 (59:58):
It's I'll be like can I say, can I try one?

Speaker 3 (01:00:00):
And I want you to say it yeah, like I'll
be like, God, it's like, I obviously I like the
freedom of being a freelancer, but it's just like constant
rescheduling and emails and sometimes the day ends and I
feel like I haven't done anything. Well you chose that.
That's like every conversation with my mom, I like really
felt something. Yeah, that's amazing.

Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
I'm addicted because that she reminds me of myself. I
love to do that to people, like be like, oh, well,
maybe you should change, Like I'm so deeply unhelpful.

Speaker 3 (01:00:30):
It's interesting. It's on the opposite end. I'm like, I'm
that that makes sense person. Oh that makes sense.

Speaker 4 (01:00:35):
I actually that's a good person to be. Well, sometimes
you need.

Speaker 3 (01:00:39):
To be that person. It says, yeah, I hear you
complain about this a lot. I did, I know it
seems like you should make an adjustment that type of thing.

Speaker 1 (01:00:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:00:49):
My mom always goes for always she's so proud of
me as a performer d but she's like, she always goes,
how many seats are there? Oh my mom? My mom
is always Yes, she also goes, how do people find
out about it? How where do the people?

Speaker 2 (01:01:05):
Then parents loved quantity quantity, and then they go, well,
you will they be having you back, and you go, no,
it's just a one time thing.

Speaker 4 (01:01:12):
It's like immediately you're trying to impress it.

Speaker 3 (01:01:15):
My mom is there was a very long period where
she was obsessed with asking is the venue in Brooklyn
or Manhattan?

Speaker 4 (01:01:23):
Which is her way being like, so is it valid
or not?

Speaker 3 (01:01:27):
And I would be like Brooklyn should be like, oh, oh,
well that's okay, you'll get there one day, sweetie.

Speaker 4 (01:01:31):
Literally wow.

Speaker 3 (01:01:33):
But then it's like I would do a show Manhattan
and I'd be like Manhattan, expecting her to be like, congratulations.
She'd be like, and how many seats, and I'm like, well,
smaller than the Brooklyn one. Actually, like the Brooklyn one
was sort of bigger, nagging yeah wow. Or of course
the worst thing is like being at a show them
maybe not getting it and being like, well people were laughing.

(01:01:54):
People seem to really like it. It seems like a lot
of people really like that. And by people, by the way,
I don't mean me.

Speaker 2 (01:02:00):
I've had that's a classic. I love when that's like
people seem to really enjoy that.

Speaker 3 (01:02:03):
Yeah, Oh my god, oh chilling, because it's like a
horror movie hearing you guys say these things. It's like,
I'm like chilled.

Speaker 2 (01:02:11):
It's tough about I'm the way that I'm I'm radically
unfortunately full of nothing but forgiveness for everything.

Speaker 3 (01:02:17):
My parents ever say me too, Like it's so weird
to me too. At first, I would the twenty years exactly.
It's like, because I had a forgiveness, I.

Speaker 4 (01:02:29):
Would have forgiven.

Speaker 2 (01:02:30):
But it's maybe I'm like doing the thing where I'm
putting myself in the audience too much.

Speaker 3 (01:02:33):
With them.

Speaker 2 (01:02:33):
I'm like, like, I do love to be like, well,
I would probably say that if I had no idea
what comedy was like, like.

Speaker 3 (01:02:38):
Oh god, we also, by the way, have no idea
what we have said to people with different jobs that
has been completely insulting, stupid, basic, I mean, not to
be a bit. Our entire podcast is like what straight culture. Ye, No,
we're okay, wow, so we're sort of we're not looking
at the people. It's in the mirror, Okay, Well, we're

(01:02:58):
like performing ignorance, were right, Yeah, that power move it's
what Donald Trump does. Ever go there. I don't know
if we can put this one out. I don't know
if we can put this one out. No, now, more
than ever it's important to speak out and to say
we don't want this administration. George, sorry, we're gonna lose

(01:03:21):
our funding. I know you say that you don't want
to talk about politics because you're a centrist and you
know you have to make some good points, but we
have to especially make an a fuck. Okay, okay, vote
for gabbing you some.

Speaker 4 (01:03:36):
I love how you Yeah, some I feel like.

Speaker 3 (01:03:41):
This is okay? You know how. There's like a few things,
right have a slant accent? Sure that is one of them.
What we just found one? Yeah, and people say I
say New York like that like like then we're like
and another one is like when I say singer, singer, singer,
I think that's really but I'm not trying to so

(01:04:03):
that there's that new Yeah, there's like a couple of
things and it's like I have been found out and
and I was the part of that.

Speaker 1 (01:04:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:04:12):
Yeah, how does it feel too?

Speaker 1 (01:04:13):
A million.

Speaker 4 (01:04:16):
Normal?

Speaker 3 (01:04:20):
I really feel anything, but they're supposed to a RB.

Speaker 2 (01:04:29):
I actually would love if the game was just a
r B and we go a r B and then
okay a or B hey okay AIRB hey, okay a
r B B.

Speaker 1 (01:04:43):
Okay, let's do that.

Speaker 3 (01:04:44):
That's really good. Okay, how many of those we've had
to come up? How many years? Like literally five hundred?
That's crazy, it's crazy, it's nuts. It's crazy to be
really bell? What was the bell?

Speaker 1 (01:04:57):
One?

Speaker 3 (01:04:58):
Go to the ball?

Speaker 1 (01:05:00):
Uh?

Speaker 3 (01:05:01):
Tonight we ball? Or my flight is out of the gaulf.
I want a book of those, you guys. I think
that'd be you know, I mean, you know, my my
favorite one I've ever written. Super califragulistic, expladocious or super
call me Friday. Let's just exploit it the process.

Speaker 4 (01:05:16):
Oh my god, that's.

Speaker 3 (01:05:17):
Really really good. Okay, that's really.

Speaker 2 (01:05:19):
Really Glorioate of New York City.

Speaker 3 (01:05:24):
Do we have like final thoughts on misery? I don't
want to end you guys. I think we're having a
good time. I think I'm having such a good time. Yeah,
annoying to do after this that I don't want to do?
Should we again? Should we do with you?

Speaker 1 (01:05:36):
No?

Speaker 3 (01:05:36):
It's a it's a zoom the marketing. Do you want
to just do? You know what? I'll do it? God,
if only I just be really affirming. Can I tell
you something?

Speaker 2 (01:05:50):
This is potentially extremely boring, but I'm going to say
it just in case it's.

Speaker 4 (01:05:53):
Not, which is sort of how I do things.

Speaker 2 (01:05:55):
Yesterday, George and I were supposed to have a call
with a business hall.

Speaker 3 (01:06:00):
We've had countless of these calls. They're usually that I'd say.

Speaker 2 (01:06:05):
Of any business call I've had has been completely pointless
and morning. And I was traveling yesterday and so I
was like, George, can you just do it without me?

Speaker 3 (01:06:12):
And he was like totally. I got off the flight.
He's like that was the most important calling.

Speaker 2 (01:06:16):
He was like, I learned so much stuff and we
actually need to talk about a lot of things.

Speaker 4 (01:06:21):
And I was like, that sounds like you're in trouble.

Speaker 3 (01:06:23):
When I heard not his fault, it's just like I
we really thought it was going to be like okay,
like look through whatever, do it so we're going to
hit end, and it was like we need an itemized
list of, you know, the issues that.

Speaker 2 (01:06:36):
We're gonna there's a lot we need to discuss about
moving forward and whoa and like there's so many choices
and like so many things we need to think about.

Speaker 3 (01:06:43):
And I was like, this has never in my life happened.
And you know, I'd be lying if I said there
wasn't a part of me that thinks that George just
wants to punish me. It is not my fault. So
where does that come from? Yeah, I was just kidding.
I'm just kidding. No, no, no, And I was gonna kid
also and be like, well, because the truth, right, Because
of the hits the past, see.

Speaker 2 (01:07:04):
The present, I like to be it's fun to be bad.
Like it's fun to It's like, when you're on stage,
it's fun to like blame the audience because you're like,
this is what bad comedians do. Yes, And it's fun
to be like to pretend to be like bad in
therapy and be like, well, I think.

Speaker 3 (01:07:17):
That because it's true, right, right. I luck that you
said on some level you think it's you're being punished.
You think George may just punishing me, because I feel
like there is that voice. There is there is that voice.

Speaker 1 (01:07:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:07:32):
And by the way, I think Sam is punishing me
by not moving to New York. Okay, I'm really glad
we're here and I just want to hang out in
this This switched to me recently where I was like,
I in no way had held any resentment, like obviously,
Sam moved to LA because of an exciting job opportunity,
like I've I've never been like I can't believe we

(01:07:52):
have to fucking zoom it, Like I really write and
something switched literally in the past week where I was like, hello,
we're leaving money on the table. Were living money on
the table? Yeah, I mean something is shifted.

Speaker 4 (01:08:05):
It is just like a logistical issue.

Speaker 3 (01:08:08):
But yeah, if I was, if I was in your position,
like you know, I would be worse than you are,
Like I would be like I would like just keep
living in la for three years because I would be
like forgetting to look at apartments. Like I'm not saying
it's a nightmare.

Speaker 2 (01:08:26):
Yeah, it's literally like two months at least, because like
it's just whatever.

Speaker 3 (01:08:31):
Yeah, so you have the same longing. But this also
happens when one of us has Often if we do
a zoom recording, one of us will have technical difficulties
because of the Wi Fi, because of the mic. It's
not anyone, is it just one of us? Okay, Well
I do sometimes have Wi Fi issues. I live in
a pre war building and it's a building wide issue.

(01:08:54):
I don't feel safe here.

Speaker 4 (01:08:59):
We're having to sort just stay We'll be fine. We'll
be fine.

Speaker 1 (01:09:03):
We will.

Speaker 3 (01:09:03):
This is dinner with a couple where the woman is
wearing a nice dress and supercuts haircut. Yeah, and you
stay right there.

Speaker 4 (01:09:09):
And that's you stay right there, You stay right there,
You stay right there. Yeah, we are not dinner is kidnapping?

Speaker 3 (01:09:16):
Yeah, yeah, it can be.

Speaker 1 (01:09:18):
Yeah, it can be.

Speaker 3 (01:09:19):
Oh my god, have you ever I mean, of course
you have. But when you're stuck with a couple that
is fighting, Oh.

Speaker 4 (01:09:23):
My god, Oh my god. Is that so every night
is Who's afraid of Virginia Wolf over here?

Speaker 2 (01:09:28):
Literally it's literally talk about child. I'm like, oh, I'm
a child again. But I'm like, but you're not even
my parents.

Speaker 1 (01:09:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:09:35):
That's that's when gay people can be straight as well. Yeah,
it's one of the favorite things to be. And it's
it's when they're fighting and you're stuck with them.

Speaker 3 (01:09:45):
Oh my god, so uncomfortable. I'm yeah, I'm sorry. I
just this is intense for me. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:09:55):
No, And I'm sorry that's George. I'm just sorry that
George made join comfortable.

Speaker 3 (01:10:01):
This is what he does, what he does. Sure, I'll
take it. I'll take it. I'll be bad.

Speaker 1 (01:10:06):
We're just crazy.

Speaker 3 (01:10:08):
His Wi Fi never works.

Speaker 4 (01:10:10):
But oh it's both of us.

Speaker 3 (01:10:14):
Say, because you have a pre war building.

Speaker 4 (01:10:15):
Is that?

Speaker 3 (01:10:16):
Sorry?

Speaker 4 (01:10:17):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (01:10:17):
Here he goes breaking a buy his pre war building.
Some of us live in la against our will. Yeah,
they didn't build anything before the war. There there were
no war to have a pool and a lesbian landlord. Jesus,
I live in a pre war building. You have a
pool in the lesbian landlord?

Speaker 4 (01:10:34):
Will they work it out?

Speaker 3 (01:10:37):
Can I make it anywhere obvious? Oh my god, I
love this.

Speaker 4 (01:10:40):
I love fighting.

Speaker 3 (01:10:43):
No, I do too, me too.

Speaker 1 (01:10:44):
It's fun.

Speaker 3 (01:10:46):
So where's theater going? And what's your relationship to therapy?
I am such a bad therapy being therapy, really really
so bad at it. I would think of you as
I know I think that way. I present vegetarian and
as being good in therapy, but I am no steaks
left and right, well done, only steak, yeah, paleo, raw

(01:11:10):
meads and absolutely defiant therapy subjects. We're talking in like
psycho analysis or like a CBT type. We're like talking
goldilocks to modalities. We're like and we're talking getting evangelical
for a week about it, never calling the person back. Yeah,
I feel much more comfortable. And this is we can
talk about it in the in the therapist chair.

Speaker 4 (01:11:32):
I do too, and I.

Speaker 3 (01:11:34):
Actually, I actually do think I give really good advice.

Speaker 1 (01:11:39):
I bet you do.

Speaker 3 (01:11:40):
I would love to have the kind of relationship where
I ask you for it, yes, at some point, but
it's well, then maybe what we can do is I
can give you advice and you can give me advice
since we're both really good therapists. Yeah, bad patients. It's
about being seen about bad patients exactly. It's about being
seen being vulnerable whatever, and I'm just like, I can't

(01:12:01):
trust this person. They're not gonna this is this is
not going to work well. Needless to say, the main
issue with therapists is the entire time you're like, so
are you smart or not?

Speaker 2 (01:12:10):
Well, that is the main issue. It's sort of like actually,
pop quiz, yeah, and.

Speaker 3 (01:12:15):
It can be my therapist.

Speaker 4 (01:12:17):
It is a little bit like so, pop quiz, am
I smarter than you?

Speaker 3 (01:12:20):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:12:20):
It's like did you watch the rehearsal and what are your.

Speaker 3 (01:12:23):
Thoughts on it? You know what I mean? You my
last episode right right?

Speaker 4 (01:12:26):
Right?

Speaker 3 (01:12:26):
Like do you think you know Emma Stone deserved the oscar?

Speaker 1 (01:12:31):
Like it?

Speaker 2 (01:12:31):
Right?

Speaker 4 (01:12:32):
Like?

Speaker 3 (01:12:32):
Yeah? Politically like how do you post yes, exactly? Politically
how do you post.

Speaker 2 (01:12:37):
I want to know, like what, like when something crazy happens,
what do you post?

Speaker 3 (01:12:42):
Because that would really inform a lot for me. What
kind of memes are you resharing? Yeah, I like therapy
therapists who talk like I just don't want to talk,
which I know it seems like maybe I talk, But
I like that's why I like psychics because they just talk.
That's very relaxing to me. I mean, I would it
if they just like looked inside of me, told me
like what same told like, let go of this. Nobody

(01:13:03):
needs to hear it. That's because, by the way, talking horrible.
It's also like, yeah, I'm telling you, I'm telling a story.
You're not going to get the truth out of me.
I don't even know why, Like I might as well
just be on stage and at least I'm getting paid
instead of paying you four hundred dollars by the way,
So well, no, I'm not everyone. Yeah, no, neither of I. No,

(01:13:24):
I haven't been it doesn't doesn't work. So doesn't work.

Speaker 4 (01:13:28):
You have a psychotic break?

Speaker 1 (01:13:29):
No?

Speaker 4 (01:13:29):
Literally, do I have a psychonic No?

Speaker 3 (01:13:31):
No, I haven't been there since like twenty twenty one
or twenty twenty two. But I'm actually looking to get
back into it, So please write in, and you want
to do you want to do like I mean, I
ultimately do want to do Goldilocks because I think, like,
can you what's called are just like a mix of modelity,
like you know, she goes from room to each product,
because I'm like, I please don't write in, but like

(01:13:56):
everything put the pen down. When I read about real planelists,
I'm like, you guys are crazy. I'm not going to
be put in the care of someone who is insane
and is like having visions all day long, you know
what I mean? Totally. And then of course the CBT
with like on the other end of the spectrum, they
like don't even care about the reasoning for everything. They're like,
do your worksheet and you're like my mom said, They're

(01:14:18):
like that doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 (01:14:19):
Do your work set.

Speaker 3 (01:14:20):
Well, that also doesn't work, right, So we need someone
emotional intelligence.

Speaker 1 (01:14:24):
Right, you know what?

Speaker 3 (01:14:26):
You know what we need?

Speaker 2 (01:14:27):
Basically every therapy session ever should be filmed couples therapy style,
and then we should be able to watch and be like,
I actually really like this one and.

Speaker 4 (01:14:37):
I agree because it's it is very personality based.

Speaker 3 (01:14:40):
Well, that's such a good point.

Speaker 2 (01:14:41):
If I could hire Orna this second, I would, Oh
my god. But to have to get to know someone
through them doing therapy on me, no, I'm like, no, no, no,
I need to see how you've done with others. Yes,
and then I don't know if you'll be able to
work with me.

Speaker 3 (01:14:52):
Well do you read the description, They're like, oh, they
specialized in Like the description is bullshit. It's like you
specialize in that, have like the constitution? Show me the results. Yeah, yeah,
it's literally like the Constitution.

Speaker 4 (01:15:03):
It's like, yeah, in theory, I guess what you're actually happened?

Speaker 3 (01:15:06):
What really happened? Yes, okay, I got it, but what happens?

Speaker 2 (01:15:10):
Yeah, Because like if I could watch the couple's therapy
of what the Constitution has done to the country, I'm like.

Speaker 3 (01:15:15):
No, no, yeah, that's Hamilton.

Speaker 4 (01:15:17):
It doesn't work, and that's not Hamilton.

Speaker 3 (01:15:19):
And that's on Hamilton.

Speaker 1 (01:15:23):
What about E M.

Speaker 4 (01:15:23):
D R.

Speaker 3 (01:15:24):
Anybody doing that doing that? What about dbt O? What's
dB named?

Speaker 4 (01:15:29):
Okay?

Speaker 3 (01:15:29):
All, now, which is the one where you have you're
like have different with like the light and the No, no,
I mean literally like you are like taught to think
of yourself as having different compartments and then they it's
like integritive internal family system. Yes, yes, wave parts work,
yes exactly, Yeah, firefighters managers. Yes, it's like okay, suddenly

(01:15:50):
it's the United States of terrast during Tony Collette and
the gay kid and.

Speaker 1 (01:15:54):
The gay kid. I've never seen it. Oh love has.

Speaker 3 (01:15:57):
Multiple personality disorder and it's written by Diablo Cody. Oh yeah,
it's really good actually, and there's a really sweet gay
kid and it's like a really sweet representation.

Speaker 1 (01:16:05):
You know.

Speaker 3 (01:16:06):
That was when TV was good. Sorry, that was like
that was a TV show. Yeah, I want to say
like twenty ten, if I had to guess, pre Enlightened
like around the same time as Enlightened. Anyway, now we
have the Hunting Wives. Oh did you think you finished?

Speaker 4 (01:16:22):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:16:23):
I finished. It was amazing, but really bad for culture
and the world. I finished. Yeah, it was like exactly
the emotional vibration I can handle, though, Like I can't
handle anything more more emotionally provocative. You know, totally, it's
like that. That's kind of Netflix show is all like,
I know, it's hard. It's hard because I would hear
people say things like that. Yeah, it's like when people

(01:16:43):
are like this happened a lot during the pandemic where
they're like, I can't even watch the whole shows anymore.
I just go on TikTok. You hear people say things
like that and you're like, oh my god, no, and
then you start seeing it happen to yourself, or like
when people used to say I don't read books anymore,
I'm like, that's ridiculous, right. But then I did go
through a phase in approximately like twenty twenty three where
I did have a difficult time finishing books. I was like, oh,

(01:17:05):
it's coming for me.

Speaker 2 (01:17:07):
I mean, there's nothing worse than gaining empathy for an
opinion you think is bad. Literally, like, it's so much
easier to just be like they are the other. I
am not that, yeah, but it's tough when you get
empathy for them and you're like, damn, we can all
be that.

Speaker 3 (01:17:25):
Yeah, empathy is not all it's cracked up.

Speaker 2 (01:17:27):
To me, I'm finding myself. My family is currently fighting,
and they're in huge fights, right, that political thing, no,
but just they're just fighting money. But I can't and
as anyone knows, I've been watching Modern Family constantly. Yeah,
because I don't know why. But something about Modern Family's
really hitting. But recently, since my family started fighting, I
can't watch Modern.

Speaker 4 (01:17:46):
Family because it is their conflict.

Speaker 2 (01:17:47):
Because the conflict every episode's a little conflict, and I'm like,
they're not handling this right. They're not handling this right.
And yes, it ends up finding the end, but I'm
like that was really dangerous.

Speaker 4 (01:17:57):
This could have gone sad, and I'm.

Speaker 3 (01:18:01):
Like, Okay, we lived to see another day.

Speaker 2 (01:18:03):
Like, but they're gonna get another conflict and they're probably
not gonna hitt it well.

Speaker 3 (01:18:06):
It's really weird to be like over it. After fifteen seasons,
Modern Family ended with them having a blowout fight and
like not speaking to each other again, full rift, and
then the gaze are like, you know what, like fuck
all of you, Like we've always felt like you've been
really condescending to us, and like we don't even like
this lifestyle, like we don't like.

Speaker 2 (01:18:26):
I mean, there's part of me that I am like,
I know this show is completely off the air, but
I keep wanting to like I'm like I need to
write in because like you need to write it. I'm
like Cam and Mitch need to love each other more.
They how come they only get silly conflicts they never
get like, we don't have sex anymore, whereas like Claire
and Phil, we don't have sex anymore.

Speaker 4 (01:18:47):
Plot lines.

Speaker 3 (01:18:48):
By the way, this is what it's like coming on
our podcast us talking about modern family storylines and you
having to be.

Speaker 1 (01:18:53):
Like, oh, that's good.

Speaker 3 (01:18:56):
So talking to a niece booking you after your show,
is booking you after your shows? Sit there sort of
like look cute while we're like talking about good I'm
really grateful.

Speaker 4 (01:19:10):
It's tough.

Speaker 2 (01:19:11):
It's tough when you have a good point that isn't
relevant to the conversation at all.

Speaker 3 (01:19:15):
Wait, oh, that's too late.

Speaker 1 (01:19:18):
I've been really feeling.

Speaker 3 (01:19:19):
Okay, I was going to start a new point, but
it's do we need to wrap up?

Speaker 2 (01:19:22):
Okay, But I do want to say this is this
episode has been interesting, Oh god, because I feel that, no,
in a good way, a good way. I feel that
there's there's points where about you really connect and I
I go sort of like, and I'm here too.

Speaker 3 (01:19:36):
That's because we live in New York. Yeah, that's the
New Yorker thing. And then I feel we're like going
to plays and galleries and like you're you're going to
like see time you know, it's their different cultures. I
just mean like there's like a thing.

Speaker 2 (01:19:49):
There's almost something like threesome about this that is like
different than I don't know, like normally it's like we're
the couple and you're the third, but like this one,
I'm like, oh my god, sometimes you got you're the
trouble and.

Speaker 3 (01:20:00):
Really yeah that that came up for.

Speaker 4 (01:20:02):
You a little, but not the way that I dislike,
Like in a way, I'm.

Speaker 3 (01:20:05):
Like, this isn't appropriate. He always does this, like trying
to have like dress with a friend, Like you're trying
to like having a.

Speaker 4 (01:20:14):
Three you're trying to out your show that's over, Like
it's not.

Speaker 3 (01:20:20):
So where can people see your.

Speaker 1 (01:20:21):
Show when this show is over?

Speaker 3 (01:20:30):
It's so funny. One of my favorite sort of perfect things, yeah,
is like recasting like this happened with Cole, like writing
and performing something that is so you, and then because
of the way theater works, having someone else played like
it happened with Headbig, like whatever, Yes, could you imagine
someone else doing the show? Oh my god? I mean

(01:20:54):
I guess yours is more difficult because there is like
personal more you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (01:20:57):
Yeah, Well, is there like a could someone build upon it?
Since you're like drawing from someone else's work. They could
we could add a third perspective, right, Oh.

Speaker 3 (01:21:06):
My god, it's always three Simes with you. What's going on?
Jesus Christ? So there drinking it at the airport exactly,
chatterbait in the middle of de gaul. I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (01:21:16):
Jerking at the airport is so lot of no Ray lyrics.
That should be her album title. Jerking at the airport. Fuck,
that's good.

Speaker 3 (01:21:27):
I yeah, jerking it at at the airport. Jerking. No,
but it's also jerking it at LaGuardia airport.

Speaker 2 (01:21:35):
Yeah, jerking at La Guardia. Should we do our final segment?

Speaker 3 (01:21:40):
Did we ask you a question then not listen to
the answer?

Speaker 4 (01:21:43):
I if you did, I was relieved.

Speaker 3 (01:21:46):
What person would you cast as yourself? I know, I
can't think of a good answer. Could you guys help? Yes?
I think it should be Rooney Mara. It's gonna be
it's gonna go ahead, And I was but don't you
think it has to be like I think she will
actually eat down. She's gonna be like she would look

(01:22:08):
really good with your haircut. Actually, oh my god, I
can see that. Okay, Wow, things have moved so fast. Yeah,
god Rooney off Broadway, Runette, so playhouse, Runette, soho Playhouse.
She's like, I'll just have like carrots backstage. That's my
impression of Rooney Mara. So yeah, keep an eye out

(01:22:31):
for my solo show. George is George is Runey Mora.
Can I be Rooney?

Speaker 1 (01:22:36):
Can? Can I be Ronnie?

Speaker 3 (01:22:40):
Now we do our final segment. I'm sorry, I'm just
now realizing. What if your name was Rooney? Well, her
name is actually Patricia. I hate when people lie. I'm
actually not making that up. Well, I'm furious and there.
You could say anything.

Speaker 4 (01:22:56):
I would believe you.

Speaker 2 (01:22:58):
You could say literally anything like well, I would repeat
it to multiple people.

Speaker 3 (01:23:03):
Well, one of my favorite things to do is to
say a lie and a confidence. You are very confident,
thank you, Well, I'm confident speaking and speaking yeah, and
in no other way.

Speaker 4 (01:23:13):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:23:13):
Well that's a good That's one of the main ways
we communicate confidence.

Speaker 2 (01:23:16):
There was honestly something a bit there's something almost shady
about calling being like you are very confident?

Speaker 3 (01:23:24):
Well, yes, you know what.

Speaker 2 (01:23:26):
There's a there's an undertone of like, but you don't
know what the fuck you're talking about, in a way
that I.

Speaker 3 (01:23:30):
Kind of really was sort of like when you are like,
what sounds like you're a photogenic and it's like, so
you're ugly in real life, Oh my god, like in movement?

Speaker 2 (01:23:37):
Interesting that you look good in photo. Yeah, yeah that's good.
Oh my god, you really they made you? I love
confident you are?

Speaker 3 (01:23:45):
Yeah, oh my god. Wow, well weaponized confidence. Yeah, well
weaponized lasagna.

Speaker 4 (01:23:54):
And here we are, and here we are.

Speaker 1 (01:23:56):
There should be like this has been so fun.

Speaker 3 (01:24:09):
Fuck, oh god, I love New York.

Speaker 4 (01:24:11):
Fuck. I think we should our final say.

Speaker 3 (01:24:17):
You have to and then I have to fucking have
a zoom meeting. I'll do it. Yeah, you'll take the zoom.
We'll go to lunch. Yeah, because we have a lot
to talk about. Yes you do, Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:24:34):
Our final segment is called shout Outs, and in this
segment we shout out to anything that we are enjoying, people, places, things, ideas.

Speaker 4 (01:24:41):
You know.

Speaker 2 (01:24:42):
Imagine it is TRL and you're shouting out to your
squad back home, but about anything.

Speaker 3 (01:24:46):
That you like, and we think of them on the
speaking of them on the spot. I'm trying to think
of And the thing is, I have one, but I'm worried.
I've done it before. But I have to do it anyway,
you just.

Speaker 1 (01:24:54):
Have to do it.

Speaker 4 (01:24:55):
I'll go first.

Speaker 3 (01:24:55):
What's up, freaks?

Speaker 4 (01:24:56):
Was the perpets around the globe.

Speaker 2 (01:24:58):
I want to give a huge shout out to the
City Bank, City Bikes, especially the e bikes. When I
I have always loved biking in this damp city.

Speaker 3 (01:25:07):
And when you, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:25:09):
Move and you don't have your bike here anymore, you think, well,
that's that dream is dead. Guess thanks to City Bike,
it's not. You can bike wherever you want. The city
is so bikeable. It's so fun. Coming from North Brooklyn
to here. I said, Damn, I'm in heaven. I'm on
the bike super Highway and I have the wind is
in my hair. I'm gonna look a little shitty when

(01:25:29):
I show up because I use shampoo conditioner this morning,
so you know my.

Speaker 3 (01:25:33):
Hair is extra flue fee.

Speaker 2 (01:25:34):
And then with the wind blowing in all day, I
have no idea what I look like. And yet I say,
this is real life. I'm I'm traveling from point A
to point B in a physical way. It feels amazing,
it feels electric. Thank you City Bike for giving us space.
Xoxo Samoo.

Speaker 3 (01:25:51):
Wow, Okay, give me a second Okay, what's up or
it's freaks. I want to give a shout out to
the US Open, the tennis event US Open. As everyone knows,
once again, I had to buy tickets out of pocket
this year because no brand was willing to sponsor me.

(01:26:11):
Cowards and famously I did a joke about being a
hashtag Fiya partner and multiply but believed it, which I
think is a sign that next year I should be
sponsored because people are already believing it. I'm the kind
of person that potentially could have a brand sponsorship at
the US Open. I'm a very beautiful and successful comedian, performer, writer. Yes,

(01:26:34):
I am really killing it at the adulting game. Daily.
On the daily, I wake up and I say, fuck,
I'm good. And so I just want to say I
love every US Open sponsor, each and every one of them.
I use all the products, and I would be more
than happy to more publicly sing the praises of anything
from American Express to Polo Ralph Lauren to fai Ya Yogurt.

(01:26:58):
Actually I had a delicious one before I came here.
Wilson Tennis Rackets. You know, I'm definitely down to get
into sort of playing doubles tennis on a Saturday morning,
and pretty much I have an amazing time there. Every
time I go, I always pay exactly two hundred dollars
to sit in the final row in section three twenty one,
and I would love to spend zero dollars to sit

(01:27:20):
sort of court side next time I go. That would
so that would be really amazing. And so twenty twenty
six is the tiar that that will happen for me.
I love tennis, I love New York City, and I
love America. Whoa, oh my god, that was stunning. Yeah, gorgeous,
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Well. I want to say,
first of all, hey mom, sorry for being ungrateful.

Speaker 1 (01:27:43):
And I.

Speaker 2 (01:27:45):
Want to shout out tidying. I want to shout out
tidying for those of us who wake up and we
say why how do we get here?

Speaker 3 (01:27:55):
Can we go back? Or you are at the end
of the day and you say why why did that
go like that? Maybe they're mad. Tidying is a great
way to proceed. You say, you know what, let's wash
the little recycling and let's put that plate into the
drying rock, and let's put that silverware back in the

(01:28:15):
silverware drawer, and you want to know what you're going
to feel a little better, and that one degree of
feeling better is going to set the rest of the
day a little less fad. And so I want to
say to everyone who's doing tidying, thank you, and to
the people who run the tiding business, big Tidying, Big Tidy.

(01:28:37):
I would too like to be sponsored by Bye Bye
tidy and by tide by Tide. And yeah, I think
I'm because I think I'm a natural fit as someone
who does often make big my clothes or disgusting, you know,
so who often needs tide. Oh we're now at tie.

(01:29:01):
Well you you brought that was just amazing. Oh, thank
you because of Tide. It's because of Tide.

Speaker 1 (01:29:06):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (01:29:07):
Wow, thank you Tiede, Thank you tied, Thank you see bank,
thank you.

Speaker 4 (01:29:11):
For a yogurt.

Speaker 3 (01:29:12):
Something happened to me recently speaking of tidying. Where sorry
we'll end where I saw a I don't know if
I would call it a meme, like a still from
a filmed podcast with some self help person. Okay, can
we guess who? I don't know Glennan Doyle. Probably I
didn't recognize a single. It wasn't a father and a

(01:29:33):
son knows a woman. Period. So it said it said,
some people, uh, tidy to relax. Some people have to
be relaxed to tidy, and then the other person goes
and then those two get married. And so then I
sent that to Matthew, and I was like, this is
I'm being h straight right now? Which are you? Which

(01:29:56):
are you? I'm I have to be relaxed to tidy?
Really the same? Wait, this is why nothing has some
between us.

Speaker 2 (01:30:01):
Wait you guys and I tidy to relax. Yeah, which
is why you got being in the.

Speaker 3 (01:30:05):
The third Finally, Okay, let's go clean up. Yeah, servous top. Wow, Well,
just sending a meme about tidying to your husband. No,
It's like, I might as well fucking vote for you know,
Nikki Haley.

Speaker 2 (01:30:26):
Literally, seriously, guys, it's about time we voted for Nicky Haley.

Speaker 3 (01:30:30):
Yeah right her in.

Speaker 2 (01:30:32):
Well for mayor of New York City, mayor Pat mayor
pep Rter inform writer in from Ape.

Speaker 4 (01:30:40):
They should vote on.

Speaker 3 (01:30:41):
Whose mayor.

Speaker 4 (01:30:44):
A thousand?

Speaker 3 (01:30:46):
Oh my god, they should. They have to do that,
they have to wow, coming to South Bend soon. Well, Morgan,
you know, is there anything you want to promote.

Speaker 2 (01:30:57):
Yeah. No, this is it well well finished and I
want to wow finishing.

Speaker 3 (01:31:05):
Yeah, congrats on finishing. And you know at some point
you will have a new show and people can go
to that. Yes, yeah, TikTok We're gonna get TikTok. Oh, yes, TikTok, TikTok,
tik talk at exactly. I love that.

Speaker 2 (01:31:22):
Yeah all right, well, thanks so much for doing this.
This has been a real treat. I had a great time.
Thank you guys for having me.

Speaker 3 (01:31:28):
Bye Bye bye podcast and now want more. Subscribe to
our Patreon for two extra episodes a month, discord access
and more by heading to patreon dot com. Slash Stradio Lab.

Speaker 2 (01:31:40):
And for all our visual earners, free full length video
episodes are available on.

Speaker 3 (01:31:44):
Our YouTube now Get back to work.

Speaker 2 (01:31:46):
Stradia Lab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money
Players Network and iHeart Podcasts.

Speaker 3 (01:31:50):
Created and hosted by George Severs and Sam Taggart.

Speaker 2 (01:31:53):
Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and Olivia Aguilar.

Speaker 4 (01:31:57):
Co produced by Bai Wang, Edited an engineer by Adam Avalos,
artwork by Michael Phils and Matt Gruff.

Speaker 3 (01:32:03):
Theme music by Ben Kling,

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