February 13, 2024 • 38 mins
Welcome to another episode of Studio 22 Podcast! Join hosts Brock O'Hurn and Will Meldman as they delve into the world of dating and relationships in the digital age.
In this episode, Brock and Will discuss the profound impact of dating apps on our culture and how they have reshaped the landscape of modern relationships.
Topics include:
- The rise of dating apps and their influence on traditional dating norms.
- The role of social media in shaping perceptions of romance and relationships.
- Navigating the challenges and opportunities of online dating experiences.
- How technology has changed the way we approach intimacy and connection.
Listen to a thought-provoking discussion that goes beyond the surface, offering insights into the dynamic shifts in dating culture and personal reflections on experiences in the 21st century.
Whether you're single, in a relationship, or just curious about the evolving dynamics of love, this episode is a must-listen! Tune in for a discussion on dating and relationships with Brock O'Hurn and Will Meldman on Studio 22 Podcast! #Studio22Podcast #DatingInDigitalAge #LoveAndTech
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
You're listening to Studio twenty two.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth, Bill Shakespeare,
William's cousin. Today we're covering the crazy topic of love, romance,
dating and technologies, influence on culture in that world, and
everything in between. Brock, how you doing.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
I'm good. Yes, these are the topics we're talking about today.
It's a wild time in twenty twenty four and it
is much different than it used to be. But I'm
excited to dive in. Let's dive in.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
We have some crazy statistics that are pretty shocking, and
I'm excited to dive into it because I was like,
Holy moly, I can't believe this is going on.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Yeah, we learned a lot when researching about this subject. Dating,
I guess start with the origins of I don't know
when first dating first started. I'm sure it was a
very very long time ago.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
But online dating, Oh yeah, dating's definitely been around since
humans could officially repopulate. Yeah, Adam and Eve, if you're
a biblical scholar.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
That's something I haven't heard about. You know. I wonder
if they went on dates. That'd be pretty cool.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Hopefully not by the apple tree that was the one
date that ended all dates.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
But started all dates. I think so maybe not. I'm
just say we wouldn't have any dates if they didn't
do that.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
No, yeah, I wasn't saying that. Because in twenty sixteen,
two hundred and forty million people worldwide were using online dating.
So the term online dating is going to reflect dating
apps and dating websites, right, any form of online dating, right,
(01:58):
there is a different between the apps and the websites
that we'll get into. Twenty twenty one three hundred and
twenty three million, twenty twenty two, three hundred and sixty
six million, so drastically increasing the amount of people on
(02:19):
dating apps and dating websites.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Yeah, in just six years, what is that? One hundred
and twenty six million people. Yeah, that's pretty wild. Six years.
That is a massive increase.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Yeah, around the world. And then in America, the most
popular apps, Tender is number one, with eighty million Americans
on Tender, and that skews to gen Z right. Typically
gen Z and millennials go more towards Match dot com,
(02:52):
which is seventy five million Americans are on Match dot com.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
So do you think that's accounting for social media as well?
I feel like a lot of people will use something
like Facebook or Instagram as a dating fishing pool, you know,
Oh for sure. I think you think that's all calculated
in there as well.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
I mean it's all connection and communication, right, Like, what
does it matter what url you enter to talk to somebody?
It's essentially very similar, right.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
I think what I'm saying is, I wonder if there's
a higher number, unless that was obviously it has to
be an estimate. They're not counting everybody who's doing that.
But I wonder if it's a higher number.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Well, I think so. We are using data from datingnews
dot Com and Nimble app Genie, right, so we have
app stats and then dating news stats. Those are the
two sources that we'll cover with everything we're going to
talk about of users aim for marriage.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Right.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
I think that's wow. I think that's good. I think
that's higher than what I expected. And I'm glad people
are actually out there looking for commitment, right.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
I'm curious. That makes me curious about the age range too. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
I think the age range of people surveyed was like
eighteen to fifty five or something, or eighteen to forty five, oh,
within something like that. Here's a crazy dating stat for you.
Are you ready for this? Twenty percent of people using
a dating app are talking to eleven or more people
(04:30):
at one time. Geez, one fifth of people.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
How do you keep track of that? It's crazy? What
are you doing with your day that you can communicate
to eleven concisely? With eleven or more people at once?
That's sleatically, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Right, Like if you think of how many like work
calls and zooms and all that you do in today, yeah,
like it's definitely over eight.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
That's a lot. Yeah, And I'm wondering what their intentions
are as you're in Are you one of those forty
two percent talking to eleven or more to try and
find someone to marry? Or is it? Is it a
different intention? Right?
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I have to way more than eight people a day.
That's crazy. It's like, yeah, I mean, but you know
what I mean.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
You don't think about it until you look at your
text messages from the day and you're like, wow, I
text thirty four people today, right or more depending on
how your day goes, and it just kind of adds
up quickly. So thinking but thinking about that, like, I
don't know if I could do that, it's too much.
That's a lot, and to be able to keep track
of that. But also, like again, it comes down to
(05:35):
your intentions, right, like what are your intentions when communicating
on these apps? And yeah, that's interesting, that's interesting stuff.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Well a little bit less than half are looking for marriage, right,
so that's that's pretty good.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yeah, So of those forty two percent, twenty percent of that,
what is that? Yeah, like four percent, sour, let's just
say like four point two percent, four point whatever the
number is. I don't know, are talking to or being
talked to or talking to at least eleven people. Yeah,
(06:10):
that's yeah, that's.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Rough, dude, it's crazy think about that, Like you never know.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Yeah, and there's a lot of fish in the sea,
so you got to filter them out and you know,
find the one that works for you.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Right, and people schedules and all that. Like, I totally
I think eleven's way too much, obviously, but that's not
the majority of people, but it is a big chunk.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
And and to be fair though, I feel like, you know,
if you really are looking for your person, if that's
your intention on the on the dating app, how do
you know if you're not face to face, right, So
you're not only talking to a bunch of people. How
do you know which people are being truthful or not?
And then until you meet them in person. I mean,
talk about calfish. I'll make peop, We'll get calfish all
(06:52):
the time.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Are you ready for this shocking dating statistic?
Speaker 1 (06:56):
I don't know, lay it on me.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Let's see what we got of Americans lie on their
dating profiles. Shame on you. I shouldn't say shame on you.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
I mean to each their own. I don't think lying
is a great way to start off a relationship. But
it's not a great way. I'm gonna clarify that, and sorry,
go for it, but no, fIF like that? What and
then that that brings into you know, makes me wonder
what are they lying about?
Speaker 2 (07:31):
So men typically lie about their work and women typically
lie about their age.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
So we're just sitting here in the guys he's I'm
the CEO of a fortune five hundred company, but really
he only runs his Activision account playing video games all day.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Well, you got to drop into Verdancek's he's in the military.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
I got you online military. Yeah that's but that's that's
the lie, right, that's what you say? Yeah, Okay, all right,
and then we're.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Getting deep into the stats here. It's getting a little uh.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
And then the women fifty what is it? The women
typically lie about what their age.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Twenty percent of women use younger photos, which is like,
that's not lying. You know, that's fine.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
If you got a good photo, flaunt that.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Yeah, you gotta show off that gene pool. You know,
it doesn't matter what point. I mean, Dude, I should
have seen my jawline when I was nineteen, you know,
it was pretty solid.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Throwback Thursday. It is like my favorite day.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
I wonder, Yeah, that's interesting. So I haven't been on
a dating app in so long, but I have been
on them, and you definitely it's like social media. I
think you highlight your best stuff. Right, you're trying to
attract a suitor. You're trying to attract somebody. That sounds
so funny when you say it like that, when I
say suitor. But I'd want to show some things that
I'm interested in. If I was going to say, if
(08:57):
I was going to make a dating profile, not to
sidetrack too much today, what would I put in there? I'd
show me obviously, I'd show some of my hobbies. Mind
just camping my motorcycle. You know, I enjoy riding my motorcycle.
Probably something to do with fitness, you know, probably probably, Yeah,
(09:20):
it's a it's a part of my life. I don't know, man,
i'd feel it's it's interesting putting it up there, Like, yeah,
if that was a way that I was going to
be searching for somebody, which I have done before, right,
I don't know, it's different. I haven't done it so long,
I can't Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
So yeah, I mean I think people deserve a little
bit of a break on this one, right. I think
there's a difference of like lying and embellishing and like
you said, highlighting your positive attributes, right, Like.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Yeah, why would you want to put your worst stuff
out there? Yeah? Sure, that's for when you got them
hooked and you show them three four months in, you know,
the pajamas of pajama Yeah, later down the road. Here's
another disheartening fact.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Are you ready?
Speaker 1 (10:06):
I don't know if I can take it.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Sixty two percent of online daters are already in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Oof. Oof, that's rough. That's rough. Yeah. Yeah, think about that.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
More than half the people you're talking to already in
a relationship.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Damn, but what are you going to do?
Speaker 2 (10:31):
You know, Yeah, they're not going to tell you that.
They're most likely not gonna be honest about that, right
unless they have an open relationship, which is fine.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Yeah, to each their own. But I feel like, I
don't know, man, that's why would you do that?
Speaker 2 (10:45):
That?
Speaker 1 (10:46):
The reason behind that is you just have to not
be happy in a relationship, you know, unless there's other
some other deep rooted stuff going on, but you have to.
I feel like you have to not be happy. And
then it's like, well, what are we doing here? You know,
what's the point of being in this relationship if we're
not able to resolve our issue, use and fully communicate
with each other and then not build that resentment over time.
You got to really work at being there. The whole
(11:07):
thing about being in a relationship is like, it's never
gonna be perfect with anybody, right, No, you're gonna have
to fight for that person. You're gonna have to choose
that person, and then you got to know that they're
willing to be to stay. You know, you got to
figure it out. It's not because it's perfect, it's because
you want that person, because you choose that person. So
if they're sitting there and they haven't chosen the person,
and sixty percent of them are going to go or
(11:28):
plus sixty two percent, right, are going to go out
and try to find somebody else for whatever reason. Like
how many people are acting on that? Right? That doesn't
mean every person's acting on that, but I'm sure a
majority are. And that's just straight up cheating and that's
not good.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
For sure. We don't know all the details of the seats, right, Like,
like you said, that means they could just be talking
to someone. It means maybe they go on a date
or two, but they don't act on it. Maybe they're
in a fight and they get mad and they you know,
for whatever reason. Yeah, but I agree, I think I can.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
I can attest to if I was in a relationship
and the woman felt that she needed to be on
a dating app and try and talk to somebody else
or on a date with someone else or anything, it
would immediately instantaneously be over. Yeah, because of my own values,
values and boundaries and morals and the point of believing.
(12:26):
You need to believe you and know what you deserve,
and you can't sit there and let someone do something
that because it's just not right, you know, and figure
out the reasons. Yeah, figure out the reason behind that.
But that's tough, man, because that is uh. Social media
has not social social media, but social media and dating
(12:47):
apps in general have made it so easy to connect
with people. And it's even a false connection too, I
feel like to a degree, because a real connection is
sitting next to someone and getting to know them, seeing there,
the way they move, they talk, they're inn and being
in it, being present with somebody. Because the reason I'm
saying that is because we have calfish right. I can't
tell you how many messages I've gotten over the years
(13:09):
of people who have fallen in love with me, but
it's been a fake profile of me. It's been somebody
else who's been leading them on or trying to get
money from them or oh Dan, you know, emotionally like
really attaching them to each other, like like grabbing their
emotions and taking them and just taking advantage of these people,
I guess is what you're saying. For whatever their reasons are,
(13:30):
I don't know what they are, and I'm sure there's
a million different variations out there, but it's just it's
tough because you can get emotionally attached to someone, you know,
Like I saw this video of this woman. I think
she was in her sixties and she was sending money
to post Malone. She just thought she was in a
relationship with post Malone. Catfished, got calfished. Yeah, yeah, And
(13:53):
it's just that kind of stuff happens all the time.
But it just shows you that, you know, as people,
we want to connect, right, to connect with others and
finding our way to do it in a relationship, but
to be emotionally attached to when you've never met, it's tough.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
So there's an unattributed quote out there. We accept the
love that we think we deserve. Right. So if you're
in a relationship and you're unhappy and you go on
a date with someone else, that's a pretty selfish thing
to do, right, because you know you're going to hurt
someone else's feelings, But in your head, you're like, well,
(14:26):
I deserve better, right.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
And not to say that they don't, right, maybe it's
that certain situation. But at the other turn of that
is that is a very selfish thing to do. And
when you're in a relationship, it's about what are you
willing to sacrifice for that other person? The majority of
the time, not to say that you shouldn't have your
own as well, but if you're going to do that
intentionally and it ends up knowing it's going to hurt
(14:48):
or secon But that's the thing too. This is such
a complicated subject because people are complicated, right, and then
our trauma are past our personalities. You've got all these
different reasons that all come together that make us each
individually us. And if you sit there and you try
to dissect somebody, like if somebody's gonna go out on date,
maybe they need a certain amount of attention that they're
(15:09):
not getting from their partner. Maybe they need a certain validation.
Maybe maybe they have some self sabotaging tendencies that they
want to try and destroy the thing that they have
because they don't believe they deserve it. There's a million
different reasons that go into that, but it's just it's
the trickiest thing. I feel like one of the one
of the I feel personally one of the most difficult
(15:29):
things to really get right, or maybe not even difficult,
but just the tough one of the toughest things is love.
I feel like love is like, like, dude, you can
master making money and you know, getting in shape and
do all that stuff. But love is such a complicated, interesting,
you know concept just in general. You know, it's not
(15:50):
it's not something that's just cut and dry. It's get
some turns a million ways. You know.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
It's almost like consciousness. Love is right, Yeah, it's you
can put your finger on it. You can't define it,
but you know it when you feel it. Yeah, speaking
of the cat fishing, one out of ten profiles are fake.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
One out of ten, one out of ten.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
That's higher than I thought it would be.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yeah, I know this is a very common thing, especially
if somebody has a larger presence in whether it's a
celebrity or social media or whatever it is. I have
had thousands, and I'm not making this up, thousands over
the years of fake profiles of myself. I get symptom
daily of people saying that they're me, like Facebook, Instagram, Tender.
(16:35):
When I first moved tout La, there was a huge
one on Tender that people were like, this guy is crazy,
like look what he wrote and what he will do
to you. You know, it was a totally you want
to talk about a defamation case that was it did
not make me look good. And they use my name,
and a lot of times they don't even use the name.
It's just the pictures, right. But there are a lot
of fake profiles out there, and that's kind of what
(16:56):
we're talking about, you know, like you could get in,
you can get emotionally attached to somebody you haven't met, right,
which is such a wild thing to think, but it's
I mean, why do you think that's.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Why these people are doing it?
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Right?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
They're scamming people, right, They're faking it.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Yeah, right, And that could be for a million different reasons. Right.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
It could be malintent, it could be bad, yeah, it
could be financially, it could be those people are seeking,
you know, some kind of emotional connection and they feel
like they need to use this other version of somebody
else to attract that. Yep, because they're not satisfied with themselves,
and I think they need to do work on themselves
(17:37):
and hopefully get to a place that they can be happy.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
You know.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Speaking of love, I want to cover the five love languages,
like Gary Chapman. All right, dive then first one words
of affirmation. Right, this is pretty simple. It's compliments. It's
you know, being positive and making sure that your partner
(18:09):
understands that you care about them and that you're expressing
that verbally right, words of affirmation. A lot of people.
That's a very common love language, right, This is what
These are the five most common languages of love. Number
two quality time. Right, You've got to make sure you
(18:30):
carve out that time to whatever it is. Go to
the farmer's market, go on the hike, walk the dog.
Really make sure you get quality time with no cell phones,
no distractions, you know, even if it's watching a movie,
whatever it is. Figure out how to get that quality time.
That is very important to certain people.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Right. Yeah, And another one is receiving gifts. Right, So
that's it's not just about getting a new car in
your drive, which would be nice. I would actually really
love that. That's not even one of my main love languages,
but I'll take that. But yeah, it's just a matter
of and on that point, I'm not going to sidetrack
too much. But love language is right, it's we both
(19:13):
we have a love language that we give, right, one
of those five and then we receive another one, and
they're not usually the same one, but receiving gifts is
definitely one, and it could be as simple as you know,
just flowers on your way home from work for your partner,
or a letter or you know, a like we mentioned
this earlier, a wine that you remembered this person really liked, right,
(19:36):
so giving them that. So there's a bunch of different
ways to give a gift that somebody will receive and
fill their cup of love. I guess you could say, I.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Think it's a great way of showing that you care, right,
showing that you were paying attention when they mentioned whatever
you get them, or that you just went out of
your way to try to make them happy. Right, It's
manifesting your thoughtfulness into a physical object.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
And I think on that point is something where it
becomes a point of contention and a lot of relationships
is potentially not understanding someone's love languages. And so if
you give a you know, gifts as your main way
of showing people you love them, but that person's thing
is quality time or physical touch or whatever it may be,
(20:26):
they're not going to receive that the way that you're
intending to give. And so resentment builds and contention and
you know, all these different emotions come up, but it's
not the one that you're intending and that's where communication
becomes vital, you know. And also finding a partner you
know out yeah that matches. Yeah yeah, finding part of
the matches or finding one that is that you're not
(20:48):
going to quit on and you just find a way
and you change and adapt for them.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Fourth love language acts of service. Right, So chores, cleaning
up cook in just an act that shows a form
of selflessness. Right, It's a caring act that you do
because you want to take care of it. And right
you're expressing your love by through service.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Doing something for somebody. That's cool. Yeah. So the fifth
one is physical touch, and that is that could be
as simple as holding hands with somebody walking in public,
you know, touching them in the movie theater appropriately, or
you know in the bedroom. You know, that's another way.
(21:36):
But it's yeah, being close to somebody. I think it
doesn't necessarily have to be you know, sexual or along
that nature could just be you know, being you know,
running your hair through somebody's when you fingers through someone's here,
I have long hair, that's great, but I'm only you know,
I actually do you know what your love languages are?
Have you ever done that test?
Speaker 2 (21:58):
So I'm on the philosophy of what he kind of
teaches of Like you want to do all five?
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Right, Like you really what do you mean by that?
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Like it's good to do all these things in a relationship. Yeah, right,
but obviously, like you're saying, a lot of people are
hardwired to really emphasize one, right, Like you're saying it's
like your preferred love language, even though you want to
do forms of all of them.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
Yeah, I think I think it's I agree with that. Yeah,
I think there's forms of all of it, and I
think there's a from what I've read, and I haven't
done so much research.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
I like a lot of them. I don't know. I
don't know if I could pick.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Yeah, well, there's an actual test you could take and oh, okay,
so it'll give you. I think it's actually it's five
the number five Love Languages. Dot com is one of
the places where you can take this test.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
I'm gonna take it.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Yeah, I think it's worth taking. I think that there's
a primary one and then like a secondary and then
other ones I think can be close to. But it
all depends on the person. But actually I think I
actually know mine. Yeah, what do you think your top
two are?
Speaker 2 (23:06):
What do you think they are quality time and physical touch.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
That's funny as our mine is it?
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Really?
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Holy shit?
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Yeah those are my two. But I think I think
men in general typically have physical touch also, right, But uh,
quality time, man, I like to you know, if if
there's somebody that I love and enjoy and I want
to spend uh my life with, it's I want to
spend some quality time. That means for me, it's uninterrupted.
If I if you can turn off your phone, we
(23:35):
could turn off our phones, we could do something where
it's just us. I think that's a pretty uh pretty
cool thing, dude, for sure.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
And I'm like I can be anti social right at times,
so like I don't want to go to a bar
every night and have to like yell to talk to them, right,
or like.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
It's my favorite time in community someone, are you talking right?
It's you know it.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
We're all different.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
But for me, it would be if I could take
someone that I love, take my partner, take my girlfriend,
and turn off the world and it would just be us.
And I would find that as good as it gets.
You know, whether we're watching a movie, whether we're you know,
(24:18):
doing whatever we're doing. But if it's just us, in
a moment of time, whether that's a minute or five
hours or a day. You know, I don't think it's
kind of hard to beat that in my head.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Yeah, I totally agree.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
I mean, that's the person you're choosing, right, you get
to spend your time with them. That over the other
seven billion people in the world. I mean it's kind
of mean to me. It makes sense.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
I think we're like eight billion.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Now, these stats have got to be updated then.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Yeah, so they end at twenty twenty two, so I'm sure.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Oh that's too Oh we're going on the second year now. Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
so that's a full year of data that hasn't come
out yet.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
We may be at four hundred million people worldwide by
the point.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Based off those numbers. It's very much possible, right.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Speaking of love and filmmaking, what are some of your
favorite romantic comedies or love based films? And I'm gonna
go after.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
You, Oh after how many am I supposed to list here? Well,
don't take mine because I secretly, I secretly love wrong coms?
Do you really? I do interesting? I always have interesting. Yeah,
I've tried to hide that for a long time. I
like love.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Actually, that's on my list.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
I just watched that last night.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Ten Things I Hate About You watched that night before
Love in Basketball.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
I watched that tonight, just kidding. Titanic is amazing.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Titanic, right, if you want to go real deep with it,
silver Lining Displaybook.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Another one, Bradley Cooper, Jay law Yeah, she's Jennifer Lawrence
is amazing.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
The Notebook obviously.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Yeah. Yeah, probably one of the first times I cried
watching the movie. Dude, Oh, there you go. It's not true.
I cried with Hercules and Lion King. Lion King got
me good. Dude, he got me good, you know. But
I was also like four, So.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Yeah, I remember crying in Gladiator. I think I was eleven.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Dude, glad Here is such a great movie. Yeah. I
don't want to break it down right now because we're
focusing on the love stuff. But like, Child's great. Is that? Yeah,
He's it's not even about his redemption against Joaquin Joaquin,
we'll call him Waquine. It's not even about that. It's
he just wants to get back to his family, you know,
he wants to get back to his wife and his child,
(26:40):
regardless if he kills him or not.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
You know, he wants, and then when he finds out
his family's dead, it's all about revenge and he doesn't
even care about his life. He wants to reunite with
his family.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Yeah, that's really like where his journey goes on. And
so it's amazing.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Punch Drunk Love, it's a good one. It's goody Cosablanca,
Princess Bride.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
It's been a while since. I I think I watched
that once. It's you know, there's a lot of it's
just pretty much any Matthew McConaughey film pre What Failure
to Launch, Failure to Launch? There you go? What was
the what ten Things I Hate about you? Right? That's one.
(27:30):
What's the one where he's like a treasure hunter with
Kate Hudson.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Yeah, I love this one. I can't remember the name
of it. Is it?
Speaker 2 (27:40):
No?
Speaker 1 (27:40):
No, it's older.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Yeah, I'm gonna look it up.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
I think she's writing, like, is that the one? I
feel like they did a couple, didn't they? Yeah? I
like cool man.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
You know what else? Moonlight? Moonlight was a great that
was a love story.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
I love that movie.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
I didn't see it.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
I picked it to win Best Picture over La La Land,
not like like because I liked it more or whatever,
just because I thought it was gonna win Best Picture.
And they go up in Lalla Land, you know, they
had the whole kerfuffle where they you know, it was no,
it's actually moonlight, and I'm like, I.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Thought I lost.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
And then I'm like, because I do an Oscar thing
every year where I think I've never gotten under fifty percent,
I always call I.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Remember when were in Cabo one year, the first year
I saw you do that, and we're all watching and
you're literally like ten for ten, Like I was like, what,
this guy's insane? Dude, I'm good at the Oscar picks.
I'm good at the Oscar. Yeah, gotta do it in Vegas.
We gotta do it at the Oscars one year. Yeah.
Hell yeah, you're not going to get this one. It's
(28:59):
got to be this this dude right here.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
But yeah, some good rom coms.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Actually did just watch one recently. What was it, Ashton Kutcher, No,
not Askcher. It was justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis, Oh yeah,
friends justits just just friends benefits. I think there's both.
There's just friends and there's friends with benefits. I think
probably similar storylines. That's crazy the formula. If the formula works, don't,
(29:33):
don't change it. I respect that. That's Hallmark's entire business plan.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
John Rinitsky, this great comedian.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Yeah, you've met him with a few times. Yeah, they're
gonna say resents prison.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
He did a sketch like a you know, digital comedic
sketch where he's McConaughey in the true detective outfit in
the room and he's like being interviewed and he's been there,
like where were you from two thousand to twenty ten?
And he's like, I don't know, I blacked out. I
went to every romantic comedy ever, made a terrible impression.
(30:12):
I wasn't trying to do that, but basically saying like
he blacked out and was in every romantic comedy in
that time.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Period for ten years. Yeah, what a legend.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Okay, And now we're going to go into dating advice
because I think it's good to talk about this stuff.
It can get misconstrued a lot of the times. And
you know, we're not experts, right, but definitely been on
a number of dates and they've some been good, some
been bad. But that's how life goes. But here are
(30:45):
some things we want to share about dating advice, go
for it.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Oh pressures on. The first thing that comes to mind
with dating advice is is I think looking inward. I
know it sounds funny, but I think if you can
focus on healing and understanding and self awareness to the
(31:12):
greatest degree you can self love, you'll show up as
a better version of yourself. And I find that, you know,
in relationships I had since I was young, in relationships
that I've had since I was young, I dated someone
that I exactly needed for where I was in my life.
(31:32):
So if I did someone that was terrible for me,
it was because that's what I was attracting at the time.
That's what I needed to experience so that I could
understand more about myself and to heal and grow on
my journey. And I felt like I dated. I haven't
dated many people, many women, but I found that every
(31:52):
time I dated somebody, it taught me more about myself
until I got to the point where I dated the
one that really showed me everything, brought everything to the table,
and so I had things that I didn't even know
I needed to work on that I couldn't be more grateful,
you know, it It wasn't for me, the best relationship,
but it was the best in the sense that it
(32:14):
showed me everything I needed to so that moving forward,
I know what kind of man I need to be
for the next person, for the right person, for the
person I want to end up with, you know, And
it was Yeah. I think that for me is is
some advice to really focus on yourself and trying to
become the best version of you so that that way
you can show up and be a better version for
someone else, because you can't go around and fill someone
(32:36):
else's cup if your cup's empty, So you got to
work on making sure that yours is overfilling so that
it spills over into other people's lives around you. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Absolutely, I mean that's definitely a very insightful thing to say.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
You lobbed it at me. I'm lobbing it back now.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Yeah, there you go. No, that was great. I guess
I'll go more like right, I'll go more like specifics.
We were talking about this the other day with Kevin right,
toxic masculinity and then I think the opposite side of
that spectrum is being a gentleman, right, And I think
you definitely want to strive to be a gentleman at
(33:18):
all times. And that's a life thing, not just a
date thing. Right, everything from opening up doors and holding it,
you know, offering to pay the check and just like
you said, being a good person and being a gentleman,
and that's really it, Like be yourself and let it flow.
(33:41):
Don't be nervous, right, Like, I think so many people
get in their heads because I did this. You get
in your head about something and you make it bigger
than it is when in reality, you're just going to
dinner with someone and a lot of the time you'll
end up becoming friends. Right, Like, that's fine. It just
depends on the connection and who it is and what
(34:03):
y'all are doing. But yeah, I mean I don't know
if that's good advice or even made sense, but that's
kind of how I feel be a fucking gentleman.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
I mean that sounds like good advice. Yeah. I think
Another thing for me that comes to mind is and
I think this is one of the things that from
my experience, causes relationships to fail the most, and it's communication,
you know, people learning how you, yeah, communicate properly, because
(34:34):
if you hold something in or if something bugs you
or you don't say what's on your mind, or you
don't even communicating at the right time, Like you know,
if you're realizing that your partner, your wife, your husband,
whatever it is, is on empty, and you try to
dump and so let's say they've got ten percent in
the tank and you've got ninety percent that you got
(34:55):
to get out of you right, instead of waiting for
the right time when that person, when you're a person,
is ready to receive it, you dump it right there. Well,
you just took that ten percent down to a zero,
and then it's only going to cause you know, pain, fighting,
resentment and communication is such an important factor. And it's
not like we're we aren't taught this right. We have usually,
if you're lucky, two examples, which are your parents, and
(35:17):
hopefully they're good ones. But nobody really has it all
figured out, you know, And so the examples we get,
we learn from them, and then we learn from people
around us, our friends, parents, and our friends and relationships
are our own relationships. You learn all these different things
you go. But if you're able to sit down and
break down how to communicate properly to someone, how to
be vulnerable, how to be open, how to communicate at
(35:38):
the right time. It ups your anti in your relationship
having success, I feel, and if not, you communicate improperly,
or you hold things in and you don't share them, well,
then resentment's going to build. And that resentment only stacks
over time. And it's not like you get and just
get a clean slate. Right. There's ways to work through
(35:58):
it and with time and proper communication. Sometimes therapy, sometimes
couples therapy. Right, there's a million different ways to do.
What is therapy? It's communication, yeah, learning how to communicate, right, Yeah,
and balancing all that. That's one thing that I think
is vital to a healthy relationship. It is communication. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
Yeah, Man, I believe in love. I believe that there's
somebody out there for everybody, and whatever you're looking for,
you can find it. It just takes some work to
find and like you said multiple times, takes work on
yourself as well. And you know, we're happy to talk
about this and wishing everyone the best out there.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Yeah, I agree with that, and I think that for me,
it seems when it comes to relationships and love, I
think a major factor is self love. If you can
learn to love yourself and accept yourself and doesn't mean
don't work on growing and becoming a better version, but
truly loving yourself. Then I feel like you can properly
(37:01):
love somebody else. And there's that quote that I don't
know who says it. I don't think anybody knows who
said it first. But we accept the love we think
we deserve. Right, So you get to the point where
you know you deserve a better love, you know you
can give a better love, and you seek out a
partner that values those same things, has his same morals
(37:23):
and wants to grow and take on life with you.
And I think you have a pretty good recipe for success.
So happy, Uh, I don't want to say hunting, But
to everyone out there who's in a relationship, everyone's looking
to like Will said, there's somebody out there for everybody.
So I hope you, hope you find your person. And
(37:43):
if some guy wants to make fun of me for that,
say it to my face, bro, say it to my face.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Shining Out, thanks for tuning in to Studio twenty two.
You're listening to Studio twenty two.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth, Bill Shakespeare,
William's cousin. Today we're covering the crazy topic of love, romance,
dating and technologies, influence on culture in that world, and
everything in between. Brock, how you doing.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
I'm good. Yes, these are the topics we're talking about today.
It's a wild time in twenty twenty four and it
is much different than it used to be. But I'm
excited to dive in. Let's dive in.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
We have some crazy statistics that are pretty shocking, and
I'm excited to dive into it because I was like,
Holy moly, I can't believe this is going on.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Yeah, we learned a lot when researching about this subject. Dating,
I guess start with the origins of I don't know
when first dating first started. I'm sure it was a
very very long time ago.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
But online dating, Oh yeah, dating's definitely been around since
humans could officially repopulate. Yeah, Adam and Eve, if you're
a biblical scholar.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
That's something I haven't heard about. You know. I wonder
if they went on dates. That'd be pretty cool.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Hopefully not by the apple tree that was the one
date that ended all dates.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
But started all dates. I think so maybe not. I'm
just say we wouldn't have any dates if they didn't
do that.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
No, yeah, I wasn't saying that. Because in twenty sixteen,
two hundred and forty million people worldwide were using online dating.
So the term online dating is going to reflect dating
apps and dating websites, right, any form of online dating, right,
(01:58):
there is a different between the apps and the websites
that we'll get into. Twenty twenty one three hundred and
twenty three million, twenty twenty two, three hundred and sixty
six million, so drastically increasing the amount of people on
(02:19):
dating apps and dating websites.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Yeah, in just six years, what is that? One hundred
and twenty six million people. Yeah, that's pretty wild. Six years.
That is a massive increase.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Yeah, around the world. And then in America, the most
popular apps, Tender is number one, with eighty million Americans
on Tender, and that skews to gen Z right. Typically
gen Z and millennials go more towards Match dot com,
(02:52):
which is seventy five million Americans are on Match dot com.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
So do you think that's accounting for social media as well?
I feel like a lot of people will use something
like Facebook or Instagram as a dating fishing pool, you know,
Oh for sure. I think you think that's all calculated
in there as well.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
I mean it's all connection and communication, right, Like, what
does it matter what url you enter to talk to somebody?
It's essentially very similar, right.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
I think what I'm saying is, I wonder if there's
a higher number, unless that was obviously it has to
be an estimate. They're not counting everybody who's doing that.
But I wonder if it's a higher number.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Well, I think so. We are using data from datingnews
dot Com and Nimble app Genie, right, so we have
app stats and then dating news stats. Those are the
two sources that we'll cover with everything we're going to
talk about of users aim for marriage.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Right.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
I think that's wow. I think that's good. I think
that's higher than what I expected. And I'm glad people
are actually out there looking for commitment, right.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
I'm curious. That makes me curious about the age range too. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
I think the age range of people surveyed was like
eighteen to fifty five or something, or eighteen to forty five, oh,
within something like that. Here's a crazy dating stat for you.
Are you ready for this? Twenty percent of people using
a dating app are talking to eleven or more people
(04:30):
at one time. Geez, one fifth of people.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
How do you keep track of that? It's crazy? What
are you doing with your day that you can communicate
to eleven concisely? With eleven or more people at once?
That's sleatically, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Right, Like if you think of how many like work
calls and zooms and all that you do in today, yeah,
like it's definitely over eight.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
That's a lot. Yeah, And I'm wondering what their intentions
are as you're in Are you one of those forty
two percent talking to eleven or more to try and
find someone to marry? Or is it? Is it a
different intention? Right?
Speaker 2 (05:09):
I have to way more than eight people a day.
That's crazy. It's like, yeah, I mean, but you know
what I mean.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
You don't think about it until you look at your
text messages from the day and you're like, wow, I
text thirty four people today, right or more depending on
how your day goes, and it just kind of adds
up quickly. So thinking but thinking about that, like, I
don't know if I could do that, it's too much.
That's a lot, and to be able to keep track
of that. But also, like again, it comes down to
(05:35):
your intentions, right, like what are your intentions when communicating
on these apps? And yeah, that's interesting, that's interesting stuff.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
Well a little bit less than half are looking for marriage, right,
so that's that's pretty good.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yeah, So of those forty two percent, twenty percent of that,
what is that? Yeah, like four percent, sour, let's just
say like four point two percent, four point whatever the
number is. I don't know, are talking to or being
talked to or talking to at least eleven people. Yeah,
(06:10):
that's yeah, that's.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Rough, dude, it's crazy think about that, Like you never know.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Yeah, and there's a lot of fish in the sea,
so you got to filter them out and you know,
find the one that works for you.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Right, and people schedules and all that. Like, I totally
I think eleven's way too much, obviously, but that's not
the majority of people, but it is a big chunk.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
And and to be fair though, I feel like, you know,
if you really are looking for your person, if that's
your intention on the on the dating app, how do
you know if you're not face to face, right, So
you're not only talking to a bunch of people. How
do you know which people are being truthful or not?
And then until you meet them in person. I mean,
talk about calfish. I'll make peop, We'll get calfish all
(06:52):
the time.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Are you ready for this shocking dating statistic?
Speaker 1 (06:56):
I don't know, lay it on me.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Let's see what we got of Americans lie on their
dating profiles. Shame on you. I shouldn't say shame on you.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
I mean to each their own. I don't think lying
is a great way to start off a relationship. But
it's not a great way. I'm gonna clarify that, and sorry,
go for it, but no, fIF like that? What and
then that that brings into you know, makes me wonder
what are they lying about?
Speaker 2 (07:31):
So men typically lie about their work and women typically
lie about their age.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
So we're just sitting here in the guys he's I'm
the CEO of a fortune five hundred company, but really
he only runs his Activision account playing video games all day.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Well, you got to drop into Verdancek's he's in the military.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
I got you online military. Yeah that's but that's that's
the lie, right, that's what you say? Yeah, Okay, all right,
and then we're.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Getting deep into the stats here. It's getting a little uh.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
And then the women fifty what is it? The women
typically lie about what their age.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Twenty percent of women use younger photos, which is like,
that's not lying. You know, that's fine.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
If you got a good photo, flaunt that.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Yeah, you gotta show off that gene pool. You know,
it doesn't matter what point. I mean, Dude, I should
have seen my jawline when I was nineteen, you know,
it was pretty solid.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Throwback Thursday. It is like my favorite day.
Speaker 1 (08:36):
I wonder, Yeah, that's interesting. So I haven't been on
a dating app in so long, but I have been
on them, and you definitely it's like social media. I
think you highlight your best stuff. Right, you're trying to
attract a suitor. You're trying to attract somebody. That sounds
so funny when you say it like that, when I
say suitor. But I'd want to show some things that
I'm interested in. If I was going to say, if
(08:57):
I was going to make a dating profile, not to
sidetrack too much today, what would I put in there? I'd
show me obviously, I'd show some of my hobbies. Mind
just camping my motorcycle. You know, I enjoy riding my motorcycle.
Probably something to do with fitness, you know, probably probably, Yeah,
(09:20):
it's a it's a part of my life. I don't know, man,
i'd feel it's it's interesting putting it up there, Like, yeah,
if that was a way that I was going to
be searching for somebody, which I have done before, right,
I don't know, it's different. I haven't done it so long,
I can't Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
So yeah, I mean I think people deserve a little
bit of a break on this one, right. I think
there's a difference of like lying and embellishing and like
you said, highlighting your positive attributes, right, Like.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Yeah, why would you want to put your worst stuff
out there? Yeah? Sure, that's for when you got them
hooked and you show them three four months in, you know,
the pajamas of pajama Yeah, later down the road. Here's
another disheartening fact.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Are you ready?
Speaker 1 (10:06):
I don't know if I can take it.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Sixty two percent of online daters are already in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Oof. Oof, that's rough. That's rough. Yeah. Yeah, think about that.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
More than half the people you're talking to already in
a relationship.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Damn, but what are you going to do?
Speaker 2 (10:31):
You know, Yeah, they're not going to tell you that.
They're most likely not gonna be honest about that, right
unless they have an open relationship, which is fine.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Yeah, to each their own. But I feel like, I
don't know, man, that's why would you do that?
Speaker 2 (10:45):
That?
Speaker 1 (10:46):
The reason behind that is you just have to not
be happy in a relationship, you know, unless there's other
some other deep rooted stuff going on, but you have to.
I feel like you have to not be happy. And
then it's like, well, what are we doing here? You know,
what's the point of being in this relationship if we're
not able to resolve our issue, use and fully communicate
with each other and then not build that resentment over time.
You got to really work at being there. The whole
(11:07):
thing about being in a relationship is like, it's never
gonna be perfect with anybody, right, No, you're gonna have
to fight for that person. You're gonna have to choose
that person, and then you got to know that they're
willing to be to stay. You know, you got to
figure it out. It's not because it's perfect, it's because
you want that person, because you choose that person. So
if they're sitting there and they haven't chosen the person,
and sixty percent of them are going to go or
(11:28):
plus sixty two percent, right, are going to go out
and try to find somebody else for whatever reason. Like
how many people are acting on that? Right? That doesn't
mean every person's acting on that, but I'm sure a
majority are. And that's just straight up cheating and that's
not good.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
For sure. We don't know all the details of the seats, right, Like,
like you said, that means they could just be talking
to someone. It means maybe they go on a date
or two, but they don't act on it. Maybe they're
in a fight and they get mad and they you know,
for whatever reason. Yeah, but I agree, I think I can.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
I can attest to if I was in a relationship
and the woman felt that she needed to be on
a dating app and try and talk to somebody else
or on a date with someone else or anything, it
would immediately instantaneously be over. Yeah, because of my own values,
values and boundaries and morals and the point of believing.
(12:26):
You need to believe you and know what you deserve,
and you can't sit there and let someone do something
that because it's just not right, you know, and figure
out the reasons. Yeah, figure out the reason behind that.
But that's tough, man, because that is uh. Social media
has not social social media, but social media and dating
(12:47):
apps in general have made it so easy to connect
with people. And it's even a false connection too, I
feel like to a degree, because a real connection is
sitting next to someone and getting to know them, seeing there,
the way they move, they talk, they're inn and being
in it, being present with somebody. Because the reason I'm
saying that is because we have calfish right. I can't
tell you how many messages I've gotten over the years
(13:09):
of people who have fallen in love with me, but
it's been a fake profile of me. It's been somebody
else who's been leading them on or trying to get
money from them or oh Dan, you know, emotionally like
really attaching them to each other, like like grabbing their
emotions and taking them and just taking advantage of these people,
I guess is what you're saying. For whatever their reasons are,
(13:30):
I don't know what they are, and I'm sure there's
a million different variations out there, but it's just it's
tough because you can get emotionally attached to someone, you know,
Like I saw this video of this woman. I think
she was in her sixties and she was sending money
to post Malone. She just thought she was in a
relationship with post Malone. Catfished, got calfished. Yeah, yeah, And
(13:53):
it's just that kind of stuff happens all the time.
But it just shows you that, you know, as people,
we want to connect, right, to connect with others and
finding our way to do it in a relationship, but
to be emotionally attached to when you've never met, it's tough.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
So there's an unattributed quote out there. We accept the
love that we think we deserve. Right. So if you're
in a relationship and you're unhappy and you go on
a date with someone else, that's a pretty selfish thing
to do, right, because you know you're going to hurt
someone else's feelings, But in your head, you're like, well,
(14:26):
I deserve better, right.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
And not to say that they don't, right, maybe it's
that certain situation. But at the other turn of that
is that is a very selfish thing to do. And
when you're in a relationship, it's about what are you
willing to sacrifice for that other person? The majority of
the time, not to say that you shouldn't have your
own as well, but if you're going to do that
intentionally and it ends up knowing it's going to hurt
(14:48):
or secon But that's the thing too. This is such
a complicated subject because people are complicated, right, and then
our trauma are past our personalities. You've got all these
different reasons that all come together that make us each
individually us. And if you sit there and you try
to dissect somebody, like if somebody's gonna go out on date,
maybe they need a certain amount of attention that they're
(15:09):
not getting from their partner. Maybe they need a certain validation.
Maybe maybe they have some self sabotaging tendencies that they
want to try and destroy the thing that they have
because they don't believe they deserve it. There's a million
different reasons that go into that, but it's just it's
the trickiest thing. I feel like one of the one
of the I feel personally one of the most difficult
(15:29):
things to really get right, or maybe not even difficult,
but just the tough one of the toughest things is love.
I feel like love is like, like, dude, you can
master making money and you know, getting in shape and
do all that stuff. But love is such a complicated, interesting,
you know concept just in general. You know, it's not
(15:50):
it's not something that's just cut and dry. It's get
some turns a million ways. You know.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
It's almost like consciousness. Love is right, Yeah, it's you
can put your finger on it. You can't define it,
but you know it when you feel it. Yeah, speaking
of the cat fishing, one out of ten profiles are fake.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
One out of ten, one out of ten.
Speaker 2 (16:12):
That's higher than I thought it would be.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yeah, I know this is a very common thing, especially
if somebody has a larger presence in whether it's a
celebrity or social media or whatever it is. I have
had thousands, and I'm not making this up, thousands over
the years of fake profiles of myself. I get symptom
daily of people saying that they're me, like Facebook, Instagram, Tender.
(16:35):
When I first moved tout La, there was a huge
one on Tender that people were like, this guy is crazy,
like look what he wrote and what he will do
to you. You know, it was a totally you want
to talk about a defamation case that was it did
not make me look good. And they use my name,
and a lot of times they don't even use the name.
It's just the pictures, right. But there are a lot
of fake profiles out there, and that's kind of what
(16:56):
we're talking about, you know, like you could get in,
you can get emotionally attached to somebody you haven't met, right,
which is such a wild thing to think, but it's
I mean, why do you think that's.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Why these people are doing it?
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Right?
Speaker 2 (17:10):
They're scamming people, right, They're faking it.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Yeah, right, And that could be for a million different reasons. Right.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
It could be malintent, it could be bad, yeah, it
could be financially, it could be those people are seeking,
you know, some kind of emotional connection and they feel
like they need to use this other version of somebody
else to attract that. Yep, because they're not satisfied with themselves,
and I think they need to do work on themselves
(17:37):
and hopefully get to a place that they can be happy.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
You know.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Speaking of love, I want to cover the five love languages,
like Gary Chapman. All right, dive then first one words
of affirmation. Right, this is pretty simple. It's compliments. It's
you know, being positive and making sure that your partner
(18:09):
understands that you care about them and that you're expressing
that verbally right, words of affirmation. A lot of people.
That's a very common love language, right, This is what
These are the five most common languages of love. Number
two quality time. Right, You've got to make sure you
(18:30):
carve out that time to whatever it is. Go to
the farmer's market, go on the hike, walk the dog.
Really make sure you get quality time with no cell phones,
no distractions, you know, even if it's watching a movie,
whatever it is. Figure out how to get that quality time.
That is very important to certain people.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Right. Yeah, And another one is receiving gifts. Right, So
that's it's not just about getting a new car in
your drive, which would be nice. I would actually really
love that. That's not even one of my main love languages,
but I'll take that. But yeah, it's just a matter
of and on that point, I'm not going to sidetrack
too much. But love language is right, it's we both
(19:13):
we have a love language that we give, right, one
of those five and then we receive another one, and
they're not usually the same one, but receiving gifts is
definitely one, and it could be as simple as you know,
just flowers on your way home from work for your partner,
or a letter or you know, a like we mentioned
this earlier, a wine that you remembered this person really liked, right,
(19:36):
so giving them that. So there's a bunch of different
ways to give a gift that somebody will receive and
fill their cup of love. I guess you could say, I.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
Think it's a great way of showing that you care, right,
showing that you were paying attention when they mentioned whatever
you get them, or that you just went out of
your way to try to make them happy. Right, It's
manifesting your thoughtfulness into a physical object.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
And I think on that point is something where it
becomes a point of contention and a lot of relationships
is potentially not understanding someone's love languages. And so if
you give a you know, gifts as your main way
of showing people you love them, but that person's thing
is quality time or physical touch or whatever it may be,
(20:26):
they're not going to receive that the way that you're
intending to give. And so resentment builds and contention and
you know, all these different emotions come up, but it's
not the one that you're intending and that's where communication
becomes vital, you know. And also finding a partner you
know out yeah that matches. Yeah yeah, finding part of
the matches or finding one that is that you're not
(20:48):
going to quit on and you just find a way
and you change and adapt for them.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
Fourth love language acts of service. Right, So chores, cleaning
up cook in just an act that shows a form
of selflessness. Right, It's a caring act that you do
because you want to take care of it. And right
you're expressing your love by through service.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Doing something for somebody. That's cool. Yeah. So the fifth
one is physical touch, and that is that could be
as simple as holding hands with somebody walking in public,
you know, touching them in the movie theater appropriately, or
you know in the bedroom. You know, that's another way.
(21:36):
But it's yeah, being close to somebody. I think it
doesn't necessarily have to be you know, sexual or along
that nature could just be you know, being you know,
running your hair through somebody's when you fingers through someone's here,
I have long hair, that's great, but I'm only you know,
I actually do you know what your love languages are?
Have you ever done that test?
Speaker 2 (21:58):
So I'm on the philosophy of what he kind of
teaches of Like you want to do all five?
Speaker 1 (22:05):
Right, Like you really what do you mean by that?
Speaker 2 (22:08):
Like it's good to do all these things in a relationship. Yeah, right,
but obviously, like you're saying, a lot of people are
hardwired to really emphasize one, right, Like you're saying it's
like your preferred love language, even though you want to
do forms of all of them.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
Yeah, I think I think it's I agree with that. Yeah,
I think there's forms of all of it, and I
think there's a from what I've read, and I haven't
done so much research.
Speaker 2 (22:35):
I like a lot of them. I don't know. I
don't know if I could pick.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Yeah, well, there's an actual test you could take and oh, okay,
so it'll give you. I think it's actually it's five
the number five Love Languages. Dot com is one of
the places where you can take this test.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
I'm gonna take it.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
Yeah, I think it's worth taking. I think that there's
a primary one and then like a secondary and then
other ones I think can be close to. But it
all depends on the person. But actually I think I
actually know mine. Yeah, what do you think your top
two are?
Speaker 2 (23:06):
What do you think they are quality time and physical touch.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
That's funny as our mine is it?
Speaker 2 (23:12):
Really?
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Holy shit?
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Yeah those are my two. But I think I think
men in general typically have physical touch also, right, But uh,
quality time, man, I like to you know, if if
there's somebody that I love and enjoy and I want
to spend uh my life with, it's I want to
spend some quality time. That means for me, it's uninterrupted.
If I if you can turn off your phone, we
(23:35):
could turn off our phones, we could do something where
it's just us. I think that's a pretty uh pretty
cool thing, dude, for sure.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
And I'm like I can be anti social right at times,
so like I don't want to go to a bar
every night and have to like yell to talk to them, right,
or like.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
It's my favorite time in community someone, are you talking right?
It's you know it.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
We're all different.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
But for me, it would be if I could take
someone that I love, take my partner, take my girlfriend,
and turn off the world and it would just be us.
And I would find that as good as it gets.
You know, whether we're watching a movie, whether we're you know,
(24:18):
doing whatever we're doing. But if it's just us, in
a moment of time, whether that's a minute or five
hours or a day. You know, I don't think it's
kind of hard to beat that in my head.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Yeah, I totally agree.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
I mean, that's the person you're choosing, right, you get
to spend your time with them. That over the other
seven billion people in the world. I mean it's kind
of mean to me. It makes sense.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
I think we're like eight billion.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Now, these stats have got to be updated then.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Yeah, so they end at twenty twenty two, so I'm sure.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Oh that's too Oh we're going on the second year now. Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
so that's a full year of data that hasn't come
out yet.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
We may be at four hundred million people worldwide by
the point.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Based off those numbers. It's very much possible, right.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Speaking of love and filmmaking, what are some of your
favorite romantic comedies or love based films? And I'm gonna
go after.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
You, Oh after how many am I supposed to list here? Well,
don't take mine because I secretly, I secretly love wrong coms?
Do you really? I do interesting? I always have interesting. Yeah,
I've tried to hide that for a long time. I
like love.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Actually, that's on my list.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
I just watched that last night.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Ten Things I Hate About You watched that night before
Love in Basketball.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
I watched that tonight, just kidding. Titanic is amazing.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Titanic, right, if you want to go real deep with it,
silver Lining Displaybook.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Another one, Bradley Cooper, Jay law Yeah, she's Jennifer Lawrence
is amazing.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
The Notebook obviously.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Yeah. Yeah, probably one of the first times I cried
watching the movie. Dude, Oh, there you go. It's not true.
I cried with Hercules and Lion King. Lion King got
me good. Dude, he got me good, you know. But
I was also like four, So.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Yeah, I remember crying in Gladiator. I think I was eleven.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Dude, glad Here is such a great movie. Yeah. I
don't want to break it down right now because we're
focusing on the love stuff. But like, Child's great. Is that? Yeah,
He's it's not even about his redemption against Joaquin Joaquin,
we'll call him Waquine. It's not even about that. It's
he just wants to get back to his family, you know,
he wants to get back to his wife and his child,
(26:40):
regardless if he kills him or not.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
You know, he wants, and then when he finds out
his family's dead, it's all about revenge and he doesn't
even care about his life. He wants to reunite with
his family.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Yeah, that's really like where his journey goes on. And
so it's amazing.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
Punch Drunk Love, it's a good one. It's goody Cosablanca,
Princess Bride.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
It's been a while since. I I think I watched
that once. It's you know, there's a lot of it's
just pretty much any Matthew McConaughey film pre What Failure
to Launch, Failure to Launch? There you go? What was
the what ten Things I Hate about you? Right? That's one.
(27:30):
What's the one where he's like a treasure hunter with
Kate Hudson.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (27:37):
Yeah, I love this one. I can't remember the name
of it. Is it?
Speaker 2 (27:40):
No?
Speaker 1 (27:40):
No, it's older.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
Yeah, I'm gonna look it up.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
I think she's writing, like, is that the one? I
feel like they did a couple, didn't they? Yeah? I
like cool man.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
You know what else? Moonlight? Moonlight was a great that
was a love story.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
I love that movie.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
I didn't see it.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
I picked it to win Best Picture over La La Land,
not like like because I liked it more or whatever,
just because I thought it was gonna win Best Picture.
And they go up in Lalla Land, you know, they
had the whole kerfuffle where they you know, it was no,
it's actually moonlight, and I'm like, I.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Thought I lost.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
And then I'm like, because I do an Oscar thing
every year where I think I've never gotten under fifty percent,
I always call I.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Remember when were in Cabo one year, the first year
I saw you do that, and we're all watching and
you're literally like ten for ten, Like I was like, what,
this guy's insane? Dude, I'm good at the Oscar picks.
I'm good at the Oscar. Yeah, gotta do it in Vegas.
We gotta do it at the Oscars one year. Yeah.
Hell yeah, you're not going to get this one. It's
(28:59):
got to be this this dude right here.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
But yeah, some good rom coms.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
Actually did just watch one recently. What was it, Ashton Kutcher, No,
not Askcher. It was justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis, Oh yeah,
friends justits just just friends benefits. I think there's both.
There's just friends and there's friends with benefits. I think
probably similar storylines. That's crazy the formula. If the formula works, don't,
(29:33):
don't change it. I respect that. That's Hallmark's entire business plan.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
John Rinitsky, this great comedian.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Yeah, you've met him with a few times. Yeah, they're
gonna say resents prison.
Speaker 2 (29:49):
He did a sketch like a you know, digital comedic
sketch where he's McConaughey in the true detective outfit in
the room and he's like being interviewed and he's been there,
like where were you from two thousand to twenty ten?
And he's like, I don't know, I blacked out. I
went to every romantic comedy ever, made a terrible impression.
(30:12):
I wasn't trying to do that, but basically saying like
he blacked out and was in every romantic comedy in
that time.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Period for ten years. Yeah, what a legend.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Okay, And now we're going to go into dating advice
because I think it's good to talk about this stuff.
It can get misconstrued a lot of the times. And
you know, we're not experts, right, but definitely been on
a number of dates and they've some been good, some
been bad. But that's how life goes. But here are
(30:45):
some things we want to share about dating advice, go
for it.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Oh pressures on. The first thing that comes to mind
with dating advice is is I think looking inward. I
know it sounds funny, but I think if you can
focus on healing and understanding and self awareness to the
(31:12):
greatest degree you can self love, you'll show up as
a better version of yourself. And I find that, you know,
in relationships I had since I was young, in relationships
that I've had since I was young, I dated someone
that I exactly needed for where I was in my life.
(31:32):
So if I did someone that was terrible for me,
it was because that's what I was attracting at the time.
That's what I needed to experience so that I could
understand more about myself and to heal and grow on
my journey. And I felt like I dated. I haven't
dated many people, many women, but I found that every
(31:52):
time I dated somebody, it taught me more about myself
until I got to the point where I dated the
one that really showed me everything, brought everything to the table,
and so I had things that I didn't even know
I needed to work on that I couldn't be more grateful,
you know, it It wasn't for me, the best relationship,
but it was the best in the sense that it
(32:14):
showed me everything I needed to so that moving forward,
I know what kind of man I need to be
for the next person, for the right person, for the
person I want to end up with, you know, And
it was Yeah. I think that for me is is
some advice to really focus on yourself and trying to
become the best version of you so that that way
you can show up and be a better version for
someone else, because you can't go around and fill someone
(32:36):
else's cup if your cup's empty, So you got to
work on making sure that yours is overfilling so that
it spills over into other people's lives around you. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Absolutely, I mean that's definitely a very insightful thing to say.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
You lobbed it at me. I'm lobbing it back now.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Yeah, there you go. No, that was great. I guess
I'll go more like right, I'll go more like specifics.
We were talking about this the other day with Kevin right,
toxic masculinity and then I think the opposite side of
that spectrum is being a gentleman, right, And I think
you definitely want to strive to be a gentleman at
(33:18):
all times. And that's a life thing, not just a
date thing. Right, everything from opening up doors and holding it,
you know, offering to pay the check and just like
you said, being a good person and being a gentleman,
and that's really it, Like be yourself and let it flow.
(33:41):
Don't be nervous, right, Like, I think so many people
get in their heads because I did this. You get
in your head about something and you make it bigger
than it is when in reality, you're just going to
dinner with someone and a lot of the time you'll
end up becoming friends. Right, Like, that's fine. It just
depends on the connection and who it is and what
(34:03):
y'all are doing. But yeah, I mean I don't know
if that's good advice or even made sense, but that's
kind of how I feel be a fucking gentleman.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
I mean that sounds like good advice. Yeah. I think
Another thing for me that comes to mind is and
I think this is one of the things that from
my experience, causes relationships to fail the most, and it's communication,
you know, people learning how you, yeah, communicate properly, because
(34:34):
if you hold something in or if something bugs you
or you don't say what's on your mind, or you
don't even communicating at the right time, Like you know,
if you're realizing that your partner, your wife, your husband,
whatever it is, is on empty, and you try to
dump and so let's say they've got ten percent in
the tank and you've got ninety percent that you got
(34:55):
to get out of you right, instead of waiting for
the right time when that person, when you're a person,
is ready to receive it, you dump it right there. Well,
you just took that ten percent down to a zero,
and then it's only going to cause you know, pain, fighting,
resentment and communication is such an important factor. And it's
not like we're we aren't taught this right. We have usually,
if you're lucky, two examples, which are your parents, and
(35:17):
hopefully they're good ones. But nobody really has it all
figured out, you know, And so the examples we get,
we learn from them, and then we learn from people
around us, our friends, parents, and our friends and relationships
are our own relationships. You learn all these different things
you go. But if you're able to sit down and
break down how to communicate properly to someone, how to
be vulnerable, how to be open, how to communicate at
(35:38):
the right time. It ups your anti in your relationship
having success, I feel, and if not, you communicate improperly,
or you hold things in and you don't share them, well,
then resentment's going to build. And that resentment only stacks
over time. And it's not like you get and just
get a clean slate. Right. There's ways to work through
(35:58):
it and with time and proper communication. Sometimes therapy, sometimes
couples therapy. Right, there's a million different ways to do.
What is therapy? It's communication, yeah, learning how to communicate, right, Yeah,
and balancing all that. That's one thing that I think
is vital to a healthy relationship. It is communication. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
Yeah, Man, I believe in love. I believe that there's
somebody out there for everybody, and whatever you're looking for,
you can find it. It just takes some work to
find and like you said multiple times, takes work on
yourself as well. And you know, we're happy to talk
about this and wishing everyone the best out there.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Yeah, I agree with that, and I think that for me,
it seems when it comes to relationships and love, I
think a major factor is self love. If you can
learn to love yourself and accept yourself and doesn't mean
don't work on growing and becoming a better version, but
truly loving yourself. Then I feel like you can properly
(37:01):
love somebody else. And there's that quote that I don't
know who says it. I don't think anybody knows who
said it first. But we accept the love we think
we deserve. Right, So you get to the point where
you know you deserve a better love, you know you
can give a better love, and you seek out a
partner that values those same things, has his same morals
(37:23):
and wants to grow and take on life with you.
And I think you have a pretty good recipe for success.
So happy, Uh, I don't want to say hunting, But
to everyone out there who's in a relationship, everyone's looking
to like Will said, there's somebody out there for everybody.
So I hope you, hope you find your person. And
(37:43):
if some guy wants to make fun of me for that,
say it to my face, bro, say it to my face.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Shining Out, thanks for tuning in to Studio twenty two.
Host
Will Meldman
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