June 11, 2025 • 27 mins
Join your host Lynn Hoffman with recording artist Alexandra Savior for this intimate conversation about her life challenges and how her musical journey provides a safe haven in balancing the ups and downs of the world today.
Known for her evocative songwriting and cinematic style, Alexandra has weathered personal and professional storms, channeling her experiences into acclaimed albums like Belladonna of Sadness and The Archer. Now, with her latest release, Beneath the Lilypad, she continues to evolve, offering listeners a deeper glimpse into her world and the healing force of music.
In this episode, Alexandra opens up about how music has been both a refuge and a form of self-discovery, the challenges of staying authentic in an industry that often demands conformity, and the stories behind her newest work. Join us as we talk about resilience, creativity, and the songs that save us—again and again.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Music Saved Me.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
For me, like writing songs is like putting a puzzle together.
It feels like when you get that like last piece,
things click, everything makes sense and you're like, I won
the game. I finished you know, I don't know. It
feels like ex millerating.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Welcome to Music Saved Me, the podcast where we explored
the transformative power of music through the stories of artists
who have found solace, strength, and inspiration in their craft.
I'm your host, Lynn Hoffman, and today we are joined
by Alexandra Savior, the Portland born singer songwriter who's haunting,
atmospheric sound has captivated listeners since her breakout as a teenager.
(00:43):
She is literally referred to as a once in a
lifetime artist. She was discovered at the age of seventeen
by one Courtney Love after posting a cover song online,
and Alexander quickly found herself navigating the highs and the
lows of the music industry, from major label deals to
reclaiming her creative independence yay. She's known for her evocative
(01:06):
songwriting and cinematic style, and is weather personal and professional storms,
channeling all of her experiences into acclaimed albums like Belladonna
of Sadness and the Archer. Now, with her latest release,
Beneath the lily Pad, she continues to evolve, offering listeners
a deeper glimpse into her world and the healing force
(01:26):
of music. In this episode, Alexandra opens up about how
music has been both a refuge and a form of
self discovery, the challenges of staying authentic in an industry
that often demands conformity, and the stories behind her newest work.
So please join me now as we talk about resilience, creativity,
and the songs that save us again and again, Alexandra Savior.
(01:49):
Welcome to Music Saved Me. It's so great to have
you here with us today.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Thank you, thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
So we're going to start with a hard question up front,
just to get it out of the way. I think
it's what a lot of people want to know, is
can you share a moment in your life when music
truly saved you or maybe provided a sense of solace
during a particularly difficult time.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Yeah, I think that that's I think. I mean, I've
had so many points in my life where music has
saved me. I think probably the main one, which is
also kind of connected to the making of this album
was that I was hospitalized for mental illness psychosis, and
(02:35):
I think getting out when I was out of the hospital,
it really helped me, Like writing songs really helped me
learn more about how my own brain chemistry works and how,
you know, just what that experience was like, because it's
so hard to see clearly when you're inside of it.
And so I think that that was like a kind
(02:58):
of a literal way of music saving me, you know.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yeah, and well, especially the title underneath the lily Pad,
I mean just the way you described how you would
look at life from a totally different perspective. There's the
top side and then there's the down deep side.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I think like writing music for me,
it's like a form of like my kind of unconscious
self coming to the surface as well. And it sometimes
it'll be like, years later after I arrived song, I'll
(03:39):
be like, oh, that's what that was about. I didn't
even know I had the self awareness at that time
to write about the fact that I was going through
this or feeling this or experiencing, you know, something in life.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
That's so amazing too that they be able to look
back and seeing those things. Most people, regardless of your struggles,
just so you know, the longer you live, the more
you look back on things and you realize some meanings
that you didn't even know were happening at that time.
It's so true, and that's probably another reason why your
work resonates with so many millions of people all around
(04:15):
the world. How has your relationship with music evolved from
the early songwriting to now, you know, in terms of
maybe an emotional outlet sort of like you just sort
of hinted at.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Oh, you know what, I think emotionally, I don't think
it's changed very much. I think like it's it's always
been for me very much about like evoking emotion or
you know, connecting to my feelings. I think because I
(04:49):
have like too many feelings and I always have my
whole life. So I think even when I was like
starting out, when I was like sixteen, that that was
still very much there. I don't think that's I don't
think it's really changed much, to be honest, I've maybe
I've gotten better at songwriting. I was, like, I wouldn't
(05:10):
say I was like a prodigy of anyway it was.
It took me a while to figure it out, But
I think the emotional elements always kind of in the same.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Well, are there are any particular songs or artists that
you know, either albums that you own or others that
you turn to when when you need solace or comfort.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Yeah, there's an album by Sybil Bear, which I feel
like I always pronounced her name wrong, but it's either
Sybil Bear siber Bibil Buyer. I think it's called I
Lost Something in the Hills and it's I listened to
that again and again. I go back to that one
(05:53):
a lot, and I go back to a lot of
Nina Simone uh and Billie Holiday and stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Stuff that maybe you grew up listening to.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah, things that I kind of like discovered when I
was young, and like really cracked my head open. I
think I.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Read about your parents liking the rock and roll so
that had a little something to do with it.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Yeah. They were, Yeah, they were big. Yeah, my whole family,
and I was kind of the the deal growing.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
I love it a musical family. You've talked openly about
the importance of honesty in your songwriting and some of
the things that I've read. How does how does being
authentic in your music help you process sort of your
own experiences, and what do you hope listeners of your
music take away from from that honesty.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
It's funny because I feel like I make it. I
make it a challenge when I actually feel Yeah, when
I make I make a challenge for myself. When I'm
writing songs or the topic of the song, the subject
to be like hidden, and I think I learned that
when I was making my first record. It's just like
(07:14):
how to hide and leave little like easter eggs around
within like the lyrics lyrics of the of the song.
So it's interesting because I don't know if I'm very
if I'm actually that honest. Sorry, I don't mean to
(07:37):
contradict everything, but no, I don't think i'm that.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
I get it.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
I'm honest in life, but maybe not as much in
my songwriting. Or maybe I just think I'm like doing
a really good job hiding what's going on. But everybody knows.
Have think I'm being sneaked.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Well, no, you see that though you know I'm unforgivable.
Let's just use this as an example. You know, when
you listen to the words, and what's lovely nowadays is
when you're watching someone's video online, they their words come up,
so you actually know what's being sung. Yes, they didn't
always do. And I was reading along as I was listening,
(08:16):
and I kept thinking, Wow, this is incredible because it
literally could fit for anyone listening with whatever they're going through.
It could mean something completely different. And I don't really
know what this means for her, but it but actually
it's okay if it means different things to different people,
(08:37):
would that be true?
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Yeah, I mean, I like that's why it's like I'm
sometimes hesitant to give too much information about what a
song is on a personal level, because I really want
people to connect with it or like within like their
own experiences, you know, and feel like it's for them
and feel like it's about what they're going through in
(09:00):
their lives. But I think also, yeah, I think the
reason why, like with Unforgivable, why it's hard to tell
what it's about. I think it's just like I was
like kind of conditioned throughout all these experiences that I've
had as a woman to keep them a secret. And
(09:21):
I don't know if I'm quite like powerful enough to
like be blatant about like what the song is about yet,
you know. And so yeah, it was intentionally secret and hopefully, Well,
it's it's.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Tough stuff, you know, it's power empowering, it's it's an
uplifting song, but it's a very serious subject matter that
you're discussing, So it would make sense that you wouldn't
want to divulge that information. But still it totally resonated
in my life, like whether it was similar or not. So,
so you are really sharing about yourself and you are
(09:58):
that you're doing it the perfect way. You mentioned vulnerability
that comes with releasing new work. How do you navigate
that being so vulnerable, especially as your sound and your
perspective sort of has matured through the last few years.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Oh, I don't know, it's I think the vulnerability. I mean,
this album in particular is probably the most vulnerable that
I have been within my writing. And I think that
the way that I've navigated that is that I waited
(10:38):
five years to release it until I really was like,
I don't I didn't feel ready to share any of
this up until very recently, and so I think it's
just like being kind to yourself and not allowing time
(10:59):
to kind of heel and like strengthen your you know,
your wounds, and like not forcing it Uh, yeah, I
think not forcing anything is really important and hard as well.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Yeah, well you held on to that gem for five years.
That's hard. But even harder, I will say, is releasing
it and then everything, the judgment, the all of that's there.
Did you were you hesitant even that, like on the
eve of releasing that you were nervous about it?
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Or it's really weird because I really it really hasn't
hit me that it's like in the world. I think
it's it feels very it feels like like the album
came out and like I hung out with my girlfriends,
we went bowling and then and then that was kind
of it. And like, I it's just it's strange because
(12:02):
I'm like I can see it on a computer that
it's like on Spotify or on like available, but I
can't really like because I haven't played any shows yet.
I haven't really gotten to like see how it's affecting
people yet, you know, and it would be more real.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Yeah, man, you're in your bedroom. Yeah, become famous releasing
a song from your bedroom and then you don't even
really have a lot of radio stations that you can
just turn on. Hey, that's me. You're just looking at
downloads happening it on the internet. That's got to be strange.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
I pretty much had no idea what's going on with it.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
It's probably better that way. You just focus on doing
the things that make you feel good, and it's probably
better that way. Yeah. You know, early on in your career,
I read that you faced a lot of pressure, you know,
to fit a certain mold. I don't know if you
ever heard, like, you know, Johnny Bravo from the old
Brady Bunch of reference, but you know he fit the suit.
(13:01):
So you know, how is how is music? And has
music empowered you to sort of define yourself on your
own terms?
Speaker 2 (13:13):
It's interesting because I I think like early on, I
made the mistake of thinking that everybody else saw me
the way that I see myself. And I made the
mistake of thinking that people could see kind of all
of these things that I wanted to create or hear
(13:36):
them without them existing like outside of my brain and
I think it. And then you know, having having kind
of this pressure too, it made me feel like whatever
I was wasn't enough. And I'm now totally forgetting a question.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Oh it just you know, pressure to fit that oh yeah,
and being empowered by music. That's I go there too
too many thoughts, too many thought thoughts.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
I guess like I didn't understand why I had to
fit into another mold because I thought, well, I've already
got one, you know, I already am this. But you know,
I think having the courage to like create, create as
much as you can until you finally get it right
(14:29):
is really what I needed. I needed time. And I
think that you can't like pressure someone into figuring out
who they are. You know, everybody has to figure it
out on their own list. Yeah, we're all definitely on
our own schedules for sure.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
We'll be right back with more of the Music Saved
Me Podcast. And by the way, if you like this podcast,
you are going to love our companion podcast called Taken
a Walk. It's hosted by my dear friend and you
can find it wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome back
to the Music Saved Me Podcast, the podcast where we
(15:11):
discuss the healing powers of music with some of the
biggest names in music as well as up and comers.
You know, I reading about you in treatment versus out
of treatment, and the fact that you're willing to open
up and talk about things that don't necessarily feel comfortable. Yeah,
and not just you know, in your music, but who
(15:34):
you are and your story really and I think it's
really amazing because so many people don't know and then
here you come and you just put it out there.
Do you realize the impact that you have on others'
mental health?
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (15:53):
No, I mean it's pretty heavy, right.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
I have a lot of friends. I mean, I live
in Los ANGELESO, I have a lot of friends who
are crazy. Oh that kind of goes with this territory.
Uh so, I mean I can I can see how
me having experienced that has helped like my my my
friends that are that go through stuff. But yeah, I
(16:18):
don't know. I feel like I don't really have an
understanding of like outside of my personal circle, like how
people or like how many people believe and listen to
my music, let alone, like how they're affected by it
doesn't or by my like being open about it. I
don't know. I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Well, I suspect that you're going to soon find out
when you start performing out to large crowds that that's
a whole new experience. Yeah for you, that you're wow,
I can't even wait. I got to talk to you
after your major tours. Yeah, because I can't wait to
hear about that. What advice. Part of the reason why
(16:59):
I asked that question was I'd love to know some
advice that you would give to young artists who are
maybe struggling to maintain their individuality, you know, in an
industry that really does sometimes push conformity.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
You know. I mean, I think it's I have like
a very strong belief that no matter how much you
try to, you know, say you're like, I want to
write a Cayman Paula song, and you go and you
look at the cord structures within the Tam and Paula songs,
and you get all the same like peer you and
(17:33):
you use the same mics and everything, and you write
a Tam and Paula song like it's never going to
be anything but yours. You know, You're always there, like
you're always there at the center of it and what
you are making, no matter how much you try to
make it like someone else, it's just how it's always
(17:55):
going to be you. And so I think being influenced
by other musicians is great and keep me, always keep
that there. But I think don't push too much against
your instinct.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
That's probably the best advice I think I've ever heard
anyone give. And I've talked to the biggest names in
show business one hundred million albums. What you said is
the number one thing instinct. Don't go against it. It
will always steer you in the right direction your instinct.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Right, Yeah, I agree, I really feel that way. It's
hard to do.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
My mom used to It is hard to do. My
mom told me that, and I always wondered, like, how
am I supposed to? How do I do that? How
do I know? But you learn to listen in hindsight's
always twenty twelve. Yeah, so true, thankfully. All right, let's
talk about the Mothership. This is so cool. Your recent
(18:55):
single and the upcoming work sort of showed this new
direction when you first started. What sort of it's a
little bit of a shift in sound, which is incredible,
by the way, It's like nothing I've ever heard before.
And it's absolutely it's beautiful. It's incredible to me. It's
like epic to the point where it belongs. It's storytelling,
(19:16):
just the music alone, not let alone the lyrics. It's
it's fantastic. So I wondered what inspired the shift in
sound and the way you tell stories.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Well, so the Mothership is like one of the last
songs that was added on to the to that album,
And for most of this album, I think that I
was really steering away from kind of my earlier music
and like wanting to have a more dreamlike sort of ful,
(19:49):
you like jazz mystical thing that I was trying to
attach to. And I think the Mothership was a song
that it kind of come by I like my old
world in my new world. And I wrote it really quickly,
like it took me, I think like twenty minutes to
(20:09):
write and it was just like it felt really natural.
I don't know, I didn't really think too much about it,
to be honest, and it just kind of happened and
it was the Yeah, it was one of the last
songs added to the album. Whenich is funny because it's
the first song. I think, while the first line.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
It's beautiful, it's and it for me, not saying that
it was for you, but for me, it was about
letting go of the old and protect it could be
relationships doesn't necessarily have to be you know, personal relationships,
but it was it was really cool. How did the
(20:49):
experience of writing and recording during the pandemic influence your
creative process. That was one of the time we went through,
and your latest music would reflect some of that time
where you were in the process of writing.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Yeah, it was. It was eerie to be recording with
like session musicians and like my friends, you know at
that time, everybody wearing masks and having to sit far
away from each other, and it was hard. I wanted
I wanted to do it again.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
None of us have to.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Did it.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Did it have any any impact on what you wrote?
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Yeah, definitely. I think that I was less aware of
like the idea of an audience listening, or the idea
of like playing live on stage with the band when
I was writing. So I think that like the energy
levels are like kind of similar to like where we
(21:52):
were all at, which was just like being alone in
our houses and not having like that like stat energy
of like going to shows every night like I did
with my second album. So yeah, I think I just
made it like a different space, a different energy space.
(22:14):
Songs really like Woo Woo, where I say that, well, Woo, I.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Have a friend I call the Woo Woo girl, which
all right, which which song from your latest project feels
the most personal to you.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
I guess, you know, I really like I feel very
connected to Hark And there's also a song called the Harvest,
there's Thoughtless and those are very personal for me.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
What is it that you think it is about music
that that makes it's such a powerful force, you know,
for healing and connection, not just for the artists but
also for the listeners. You know, is it the writing,
is it the you know, the the actual physical sound
it creates. Is it the artist? What do you think
(23:04):
all of that is? Why why it's so powerful?
Speaker 2 (23:09):
I don't know. I think music is just such a
unique force. I think it's the most indescribable experience that
we have as humans. Like I mean, it's like it's
like a vapor essentially of like emotion wherehich is crazy
and I think, I mean, I think a lot of
(23:31):
it lies within like the performance aspect. I think, like
a good performance is like really what brings that fearing?
It's really hard. I think it's really hard to try
and understand what it is that like is so powerful
on what affects us? I have no idea, I have
no I keep it right, like.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
What produces that euphoria or those endorphins or that excitement.
And you know, obviously when you're when you're making songs,
do you get that feeling when you hear it? Is
that how you know, oh this is good? You know
when you hear it back to yourself.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Yeah, it kind of feels like for me, like writing
songs is like putting a puzzle together. It feels like
when you get that like last piece, things click, everything
makes sense and you're like, I won the game. I finished,
you know, I don't know. It feels like it's villerating.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
I'm a songmaster. I love that. That's really good, and
it really is subjective if you think about it. So
for you to have that reaction, and now that you've
had some success and a couple hundred million downloads nothing
too shabby on Spotify alone, I mean that obviously means
(24:46):
you've hit on the right note. But I just wondered
if you ever thought what exactly it was about it
that resonated?
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Was it? You know? I literally have no idea. I
can't even believe it. And it's very confused there.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
All right, Well, let me unconfuse you and ask you
a couple of quick, quick questions before I let you go,
because I really appreciate your time. I know you're busy.
One is what song or any song by any artist
that I think you may have answered this in the
beginning that never fails to lift your spirits?
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Oh? Wow?
Speaker 1 (25:21):
What song that always makes you feel happy? Like the
minute you put it on, your whole attitude changes.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
I think Kathy's song by Simon and Garfunk Goal is
my like cool shivers and like I feel nostalgia and
I just think, yeah, beautiful, beautiful song.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Wow, you're an old soul, especially musically. And the last
question is if you could collaborate with any artist living
or not alive, who would it be and what kind
of song would you want to create together.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
That's a good question. I think about this a lot.
I want to say Leonard Cohen, because I also wish
that then he would some have fall in love with
me and he would get there.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Well sweet, that's so sweet. I love that. Yeah, just
go right to the top.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
I guess I would. I would say I don't. I
don't know what kind of song it would be, but
if it would eventually lead to love, that would be
really fun. And then I wouldn't want to I wouldn't
want to collaborate with another singer, so it's really hard
because I would never dare I mean, Leonard's a singer,
but I don't know. I guess that's my answer.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
You could do harmony though, Yeah. Well, Alexander Savior, it
has been such a pleasure to have you on the
show and to talk to you and to hear your stories,
and I'm so excited for your for your new release,
Beneath the Lily pat is what it's called, and the
first single out is the Mothership or is it Unforgivable?
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Unforgivable is the first one? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Awesome. Well, you will not be disappointed. And if you
get a chance to see her perform live, whoa. The
music is one thing, but then if you're in the
room with it happening, it's a whole other level. So
hopefully you'll check her out, and hopefully you'll come back
and visit us again soon.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Yeah, I hope though, Thank you so much for having
me
Music Saved Me.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
For me, like writing songs is like putting a puzzle together.
It feels like when you get that like last piece,
things click, everything makes sense and you're like, I won
the game. I finished you know, I don't know. It
feels like ex millerating.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Welcome to Music Saved Me, the podcast where we explored
the transformative power of music through the stories of artists
who have found solace, strength, and inspiration in their craft.
I'm your host, Lynn Hoffman, and today we are joined
by Alexandra Savior, the Portland born singer songwriter who's haunting,
atmospheric sound has captivated listeners since her breakout as a teenager.
(00:43):
She is literally referred to as a once in a
lifetime artist. She was discovered at the age of seventeen
by one Courtney Love after posting a cover song online,
and Alexander quickly found herself navigating the highs and the
lows of the music industry, from major label deals to
reclaiming her creative independence yay. She's known for her evocative
(01:06):
songwriting and cinematic style, and is weather personal and professional storms,
channeling all of her experiences into acclaimed albums like Belladonna
of Sadness and the Archer. Now, with her latest release,
Beneath the lily Pad, she continues to evolve, offering listeners
a deeper glimpse into her world and the healing force
(01:26):
of music. In this episode, Alexandra opens up about how
music has been both a refuge and a form of
self discovery, the challenges of staying authentic in an industry
that often demands conformity, and the stories behind her newest work.
So please join me now as we talk about resilience, creativity,
and the songs that save us again and again, Alexandra Savior.
(01:49):
Welcome to Music Saved Me. It's so great to have
you here with us today.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
Thank you, thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
So we're going to start with a hard question up front,
just to get it out of the way. I think
it's what a lot of people want to know, is
can you share a moment in your life when music
truly saved you or maybe provided a sense of solace
during a particularly difficult time.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Yeah, I think that that's I think. I mean, I've
had so many points in my life where music has
saved me. I think probably the main one, which is
also kind of connected to the making of this album
was that I was hospitalized for mental illness psychosis, and
(02:35):
I think getting out when I was out of the hospital,
it really helped me, Like writing songs really helped me
learn more about how my own brain chemistry works and how,
you know, just what that experience was like, because it's
so hard to see clearly when you're inside of it.
And so I think that that was like a kind
(02:58):
of a literal way of music saving me, you know.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Yeah, and well, especially the title underneath the lily Pad,
I mean just the way you described how you would
look at life from a totally different perspective. There's the
top side and then there's the down deep side.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I think like writing music for me,
it's like a form of like my kind of unconscious
self coming to the surface as well. And it sometimes
it'll be like, years later after I arrived song, I'll
(03:39):
be like, oh, that's what that was about. I didn't
even know I had the self awareness at that time
to write about the fact that I was going through
this or feeling this or experiencing, you know, something in life.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
That's so amazing too that they be able to look
back and seeing those things. Most people, regardless of your struggles,
just so you know, the longer you live, the more
you look back on things and you realize some meanings
that you didn't even know were happening at that time.
It's so true, and that's probably another reason why your
work resonates with so many millions of people all around
(04:15):
the world. How has your relationship with music evolved from
the early songwriting to now, you know, in terms of
maybe an emotional outlet sort of like you just sort
of hinted at.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Oh, you know what, I think emotionally, I don't think
it's changed very much. I think like it's it's always
been for me very much about like evoking emotion or
you know, connecting to my feelings. I think because I
(04:49):
have like too many feelings and I always have my
whole life. So I think even when I was like
starting out, when I was like sixteen, that that was
still very much there. I don't think that's I don't
think it's really changed much, to be honest, I've maybe
I've gotten better at songwriting. I was, like, I wouldn't
(05:10):
say I was like a prodigy of anyway it was.
It took me a while to figure it out, But
I think the emotional elements always kind of in the same.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Well, are there are any particular songs or artists that
you know, either albums that you own or others that
you turn to when when you need solace or comfort.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Yeah, there's an album by Sybil Bear, which I feel
like I always pronounced her name wrong, but it's either
Sybil Bear siber Bibil Buyer. I think it's called I
Lost Something in the Hills and it's I listened to
that again and again. I go back to that one
(05:53):
a lot, and I go back to a lot of
Nina Simone uh and Billie Holiday and stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (06:04):
Stuff that maybe you grew up listening to.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah, things that I kind of like discovered when I
was young, and like really cracked my head open. I
think I.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Read about your parents liking the rock and roll so
that had a little something to do with it.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Yeah. They were, Yeah, they were big. Yeah, my whole family,
and I was kind of the the deal growing.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
I love it a musical family. You've talked openly about
the importance of honesty in your songwriting and some of
the things that I've read. How does how does being
authentic in your music help you process sort of your
own experiences, and what do you hope listeners of your
music take away from from that honesty.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
It's funny because I feel like I make it. I
make it a challenge when I actually feel Yeah, when
I make I make a challenge for myself. When I'm
writing songs or the topic of the song, the subject
to be like hidden, and I think I learned that
when I was making my first record. It's just like
(07:14):
how to hide and leave little like easter eggs around
within like the lyrics lyrics of the of the song.
So it's interesting because I don't know if I'm very
if I'm actually that honest. Sorry, I don't mean to
(07:37):
contradict everything, but no, I don't think i'm that.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
I get it.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
I'm honest in life, but maybe not as much in
my songwriting. Or maybe I just think I'm like doing
a really good job hiding what's going on. But everybody knows.
Have think I'm being sneaked.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Well, no, you see that though you know I'm unforgivable.
Let's just use this as an example. You know, when
you listen to the words, and what's lovely nowadays is
when you're watching someone's video online, they their words come up,
so you actually know what's being sung. Yes, they didn't
always do. And I was reading along as I was listening,
(08:16):
and I kept thinking, Wow, this is incredible because it
literally could fit for anyone listening with whatever they're going through.
It could mean something completely different. And I don't really
know what this means for her, but it but actually
it's okay if it means different things to different people,
(08:37):
would that be true?
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Yeah, I mean, I like that's why it's like I'm
sometimes hesitant to give too much information about what a
song is on a personal level, because I really want
people to connect with it or like within like their
own experiences, you know, and feel like it's for them
and feel like it's about what they're going through in
(09:00):
their lives. But I think also, yeah, I think the
reason why, like with Unforgivable, why it's hard to tell
what it's about. I think it's just like I was
like kind of conditioned throughout all these experiences that I've
had as a woman to keep them a secret. And
(09:21):
I don't know if I'm quite like powerful enough to
like be blatant about like what the song is about yet,
you know. And so yeah, it was intentionally secret and hopefully, Well,
it's it's.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Tough stuff, you know, it's power empowering, it's it's an
uplifting song, but it's a very serious subject matter that
you're discussing, So it would make sense that you wouldn't
want to divulge that information. But still it totally resonated
in my life, like whether it was similar or not. So,
so you are really sharing about yourself and you are
(09:58):
that you're doing it the perfect way. You mentioned vulnerability
that comes with releasing new work. How do you navigate
that being so vulnerable, especially as your sound and your
perspective sort of has matured through the last few years.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Oh, I don't know, it's I think the vulnerability. I mean,
this album in particular is probably the most vulnerable that
I have been within my writing. And I think that
the way that I've navigated that is that I waited
(10:38):
five years to release it until I really was like,
I don't I didn't feel ready to share any of
this up until very recently, and so I think it's
just like being kind to yourself and not allowing time
(10:59):
to kind of heel and like strengthen your you know,
your wounds, and like not forcing it Uh, yeah, I
think not forcing anything is really important and hard as well.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
Yeah, well you held on to that gem for five years.
That's hard. But even harder, I will say, is releasing
it and then everything, the judgment, the all of that's there.
Did you were you hesitant even that, like on the
eve of releasing that you were nervous about it?
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Or it's really weird because I really it really hasn't
hit me that it's like in the world. I think
it's it feels very it feels like like the album
came out and like I hung out with my girlfriends,
we went bowling and then and then that was kind
of it. And like, I it's just it's strange because
(12:02):
I'm like I can see it on a computer that
it's like on Spotify or on like available, but I
can't really like because I haven't played any shows yet.
I haven't really gotten to like see how it's affecting
people yet, you know, and it would be more real.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
Yeah, man, you're in your bedroom. Yeah, become famous releasing
a song from your bedroom and then you don't even
really have a lot of radio stations that you can
just turn on. Hey, that's me. You're just looking at
downloads happening it on the internet. That's got to be strange.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
I pretty much had no idea what's going on with it.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
It's probably better that way. You just focus on doing
the things that make you feel good, and it's probably
better that way. Yeah. You know, early on in your career,
I read that you faced a lot of pressure, you know,
to fit a certain mold. I don't know if you
ever heard, like, you know, Johnny Bravo from the old
Brady Bunch of reference, but you know he fit the suit.
(13:01):
So you know, how is how is music? And has
music empowered you to sort of define yourself on your
own terms?
Speaker 2 (13:13):
It's interesting because I I think like early on, I
made the mistake of thinking that everybody else saw me
the way that I see myself. And I made the
mistake of thinking that people could see kind of all
of these things that I wanted to create or hear
(13:36):
them without them existing like outside of my brain and
I think it. And then you know, having having kind
of this pressure too, it made me feel like whatever
I was wasn't enough. And I'm now totally forgetting a question.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Oh it just you know, pressure to fit that oh yeah,
and being empowered by music. That's I go there too
too many thoughts, too many thought thoughts.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
I guess like I didn't understand why I had to
fit into another mold because I thought, well, I've already
got one, you know, I already am this. But you know,
I think having the courage to like create, create as
much as you can until you finally get it right
(14:29):
is really what I needed. I needed time. And I
think that you can't like pressure someone into figuring out
who they are. You know, everybody has to figure it
out on their own list. Yeah, we're all definitely on
our own schedules for sure.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
We'll be right back with more of the Music Saved
Me Podcast. And by the way, if you like this podcast,
you are going to love our companion podcast called Taken
a Walk. It's hosted by my dear friend and you
can find it wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome back
to the Music Saved Me Podcast, the podcast where we
(15:11):
discuss the healing powers of music with some of the
biggest names in music as well as up and comers.
You know, I reading about you in treatment versus out
of treatment, and the fact that you're willing to open
up and talk about things that don't necessarily feel comfortable. Yeah,
and not just you know, in your music, but who
(15:34):
you are and your story really and I think it's
really amazing because so many people don't know and then
here you come and you just put it out there.
Do you realize the impact that you have on others'
mental health?
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (15:53):
No, I mean it's pretty heavy, right.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
I have a lot of friends. I mean, I live
in Los ANGELESO, I have a lot of friends who
are crazy. Oh that kind of goes with this territory.
Uh so, I mean I can I can see how
me having experienced that has helped like my my my
friends that are that go through stuff. But yeah, I
(16:18):
don't know. I feel like I don't really have an
understanding of like outside of my personal circle, like how
people or like how many people believe and listen to
my music, let alone, like how they're affected by it
doesn't or by my like being open about it. I
don't know. I have no idea.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Well, I suspect that you're going to soon find out
when you start performing out to large crowds that that's
a whole new experience. Yeah for you, that you're wow,
I can't even wait. I got to talk to you
after your major tours. Yeah, because I can't wait to
hear about that. What advice. Part of the reason why
(16:59):
I asked that question was I'd love to know some
advice that you would give to young artists who are
maybe struggling to maintain their individuality, you know, in an
industry that really does sometimes push conformity.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
You know. I mean, I think it's I have like
a very strong belief that no matter how much you
try to, you know, say you're like, I want to
write a Cayman Paula song, and you go and you
look at the cord structures within the Tam and Paula songs,
and you get all the same like peer you and
(17:33):
you use the same mics and everything, and you write
a Tam and Paula song like it's never going to
be anything but yours. You know, You're always there, like
you're always there at the center of it and what
you are making, no matter how much you try to
make it like someone else, it's just how it's always
(17:55):
going to be you. And so I think being influenced
by other musicians is great and keep me, always keep
that there. But I think don't push too much against
your instinct.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
That's probably the best advice I think I've ever heard
anyone give. And I've talked to the biggest names in
show business one hundred million albums. What you said is
the number one thing instinct. Don't go against it. It
will always steer you in the right direction your instinct.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Right, Yeah, I agree, I really feel that way. It's
hard to do.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
My mom used to It is hard to do. My
mom told me that, and I always wondered, like, how
am I supposed to? How do I do that? How
do I know? But you learn to listen in hindsight's
always twenty twelve. Yeah, so true, thankfully. All right, let's
talk about the Mothership. This is so cool. Your recent
(18:55):
single and the upcoming work sort of showed this new
direction when you first started. What sort of it's a
little bit of a shift in sound, which is incredible,
by the way, It's like nothing I've ever heard before.
And it's absolutely it's beautiful. It's incredible to me. It's
like epic to the point where it belongs. It's storytelling,
(19:16):
just the music alone, not let alone the lyrics. It's
it's fantastic. So I wondered what inspired the shift in
sound and the way you tell stories.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
Well, so the Mothership is like one of the last
songs that was added on to the to that album,
And for most of this album, I think that I
was really steering away from kind of my earlier music
and like wanting to have a more dreamlike sort of ful,
(19:49):
you like jazz mystical thing that I was trying to
attach to. And I think the Mothership was a song
that it kind of come by I like my old
world in my new world. And I wrote it really quickly,
like it took me, I think like twenty minutes to
(20:09):
write and it was just like it felt really natural.
I don't know, I didn't really think too much about it,
to be honest, and it just kind of happened and
it was the Yeah, it was one of the last
songs added to the album. Whenich is funny because it's
the first song. I think, while the first line.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
It's beautiful, it's and it for me, not saying that
it was for you, but for me, it was about
letting go of the old and protect it could be
relationships doesn't necessarily have to be you know, personal relationships,
but it was it was really cool. How did the
(20:49):
experience of writing and recording during the pandemic influence your
creative process. That was one of the time we went through,
and your latest music would reflect some of that time
where you were in the process of writing.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Yeah, it was. It was eerie to be recording with
like session musicians and like my friends, you know at
that time, everybody wearing masks and having to sit far
away from each other, and it was hard. I wanted
I wanted to do it again.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
None of us have to.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Did it.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Did it have any any impact on what you wrote?
Speaker 2 (21:30):
Yeah, definitely. I think that I was less aware of
like the idea of an audience listening, or the idea
of like playing live on stage with the band when
I was writing. So I think that like the energy
levels are like kind of similar to like where we
(21:52):
were all at, which was just like being alone in
our houses and not having like that like stat energy
of like going to shows every night like I did
with my second album. So yeah, I think I just
made it like a different space, a different energy space.
(22:14):
Songs really like Woo Woo, where I say that, well, Woo, I.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Have a friend I call the Woo Woo girl, which
all right, which which song from your latest project feels
the most personal to you.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
I guess, you know, I really like I feel very
connected to Hark And there's also a song called the Harvest,
there's Thoughtless and those are very personal for me.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
What is it that you think it is about music
that that makes it's such a powerful force, you know,
for healing and connection, not just for the artists but
also for the listeners. You know, is it the writing,
is it the you know, the the actual physical sound
it creates. Is it the artist? What do you think
(23:04):
all of that is? Why why it's so powerful?
Speaker 2 (23:09):
I don't know. I think music is just such a
unique force. I think it's the most indescribable experience that
we have as humans. Like I mean, it's like it's
like a vapor essentially of like emotion wherehich is crazy
and I think, I mean, I think a lot of
(23:31):
it lies within like the performance aspect. I think, like
a good performance is like really what brings that fearing?
It's really hard. I think it's really hard to try
and understand what it is that like is so powerful
on what affects us? I have no idea, I have
no I keep it right, like.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
What produces that euphoria or those endorphins or that excitement.
And you know, obviously when you're when you're making songs,
do you get that feeling when you hear it? Is
that how you know, oh this is good? You know
when you hear it back to yourself.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Yeah, it kind of feels like for me, like writing
songs is like putting a puzzle together. It feels like
when you get that like last piece, things click, everything
makes sense and you're like, I won the game. I finished,
you know, I don't know. It feels like it's villerating.
Speaker 1 (24:26):
I'm a songmaster. I love that. That's really good, and
it really is subjective if you think about it. So
for you to have that reaction, and now that you've
had some success and a couple hundred million downloads nothing
too shabby on Spotify alone, I mean that obviously means
(24:46):
you've hit on the right note. But I just wondered
if you ever thought what exactly it was about it
that resonated?
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Was it? You know? I literally have no idea. I
can't even believe it. And it's very confused there.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
All right, Well, let me unconfuse you and ask you
a couple of quick, quick questions before I let you go,
because I really appreciate your time. I know you're busy.
One is what song or any song by any artist
that I think you may have answered this in the
beginning that never fails to lift your spirits?
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Oh? Wow?
Speaker 1 (25:21):
What song that always makes you feel happy? Like the
minute you put it on, your whole attitude changes.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
I think Kathy's song by Simon and Garfunk Goal is
my like cool shivers and like I feel nostalgia and
I just think, yeah, beautiful, beautiful song.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Wow, you're an old soul, especially musically. And the last
question is if you could collaborate with any artist living
or not alive, who would it be and what kind
of song would you want to create together.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
That's a good question. I think about this a lot.
I want to say Leonard Cohen, because I also wish
that then he would some have fall in love with
me and he would get there.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Well sweet, that's so sweet. I love that. Yeah, just
go right to the top.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
I guess I would. I would say I don't. I
don't know what kind of song it would be, but
if it would eventually lead to love, that would be
really fun. And then I wouldn't want to I wouldn't
want to collaborate with another singer, so it's really hard
because I would never dare I mean, Leonard's a singer,
but I don't know. I guess that's my answer.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
You could do harmony though, Yeah. Well, Alexander Savior, it
has been such a pleasure to have you on the
show and to talk to you and to hear your stories,
and I'm so excited for your for your new release,
Beneath the Lily pat is what it's called, and the
first single out is the Mothership or is it Unforgivable?
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Unforgivable is the first one? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:09):
Awesome. Well, you will not be disappointed. And if you
get a chance to see her perform live, whoa. The
music is one thing, but then if you're in the
room with it happening, it's a whole other level. So
hopefully you'll check her out, and hopefully you'll come back
and visit us again soon.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Yeah, I hope though, Thank you so much for having
me
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