December 3, 2020 • 29 mins
Chloe and Deja play their first ever show in Oakland. Deja runs into Gina at Becky’s house party.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Tampon Rock is a production of Anthem Entertainment and I
Heart Radio. Welcome to Tampon Rock. Tampon Rock, don't we
(00:33):
don't want to anyway. Previously on Tampon Rock, Gina met Deja,
Deja lost her job and Chloe didn't either. Oh Chloe,
Oh look it's Desha and Gina in bed. Huh uh?
Can we can we go checking on that? M I
(00:58):
love being the little huh. And I love it when
you're my little spoon. I'm so happy you chose me
over Chloe. And I'm glad that random guy you showed
up with the other day was just your weird cousin
and not your boyfriend. Yes, silly, come on, you know
you're the only one for me. Is it okay? We
(01:20):
kiss again? Yes? Of course, turned around and kiss me. Wait, Jean,
I said, turn around and kiss me, baby. It's prom night.
Come on, you promised tonight we'd finally seal the deal.
But where's Gina? She was just you? You? You were her?
(01:46):
Well you've really been hitting, not from just hard having you.
I don't drink John, You know that about me? Who
I was just you? And I'm not sleeping with you? Okay? Okay,
but we need about knife. What knife? Oh? Right, then knife,
(02:07):
I'm going to stab you with? Sorry, Johnny boy? Oh
what have I done? Wake up? Deja? No, it's just
a dream. But I was covering in so much blood.
You're not covered in any blood? Oh no, wait, actually
(02:29):
you are. No, she got a period. She woke up
like this. This is your lawyer calling those fiance lyrics
like yeah, we can't uh you know so, Deja? Who's John? John? Yeah,
(02:50):
the one you were screaming about this morning? Oh that John.
How much did you hear of that dream? Oh? Not
too much? Just you know the murder part? Cool? Google Google?
Oh yeah, John from high school. I've never told you
by him? No, I don't recall receiving that information. No,
definitely not. It was just the first person I ever
slept with. Wait, sorry, what what do you say? You
(03:11):
were like mumbling he was the first person I read
a sex with no big deal? Wait? What chill? It's
not a big deal. Okay, so you're telling me that
you are not a gold star lesbian. How did I
not know that? God? I feel so loud to wait. Okay, okay,
(03:34):
let me get this straight. The sex was so bad
that you dreamt about murdering him five years later. Dreams
work in mysterious ways. No, I think that was God.
Are you trying to convert me? Yes? Peace be with you.
Welcome to the Church of Chloe Stevens of Latter Day Saints.
Please be seated. Oh fuck? What it's Becky ship? Do
(04:02):
you think she found the vibrator I left at her house?
I mean, did you write your name on it? Uh?
Who do you think I am? But what do I do?
I do? I don't know? Answer it? Okay, okay, Oh
hey Becky? How you? I mean, how's it going? M
(04:22):
my sea? What's going on? Uh? Yeah okay, sure, yeah,
yeah yeah, so many songs? Got it? Time? Perfect? Okay, yeah,
I'll see you then. But by now, well, Um, Becky
(04:46):
just called to tell me she's also shocked you're not
a gold star lesbian. I hate you so much. Well
was she talking about? Um? Well, huh, spit it out, dude.
We just got our first paid gig. Yeah, we're finding money, money, money, money,
(05:11):
money every time. They just got the first big gig. No,
they got to go shopping for a s new clothes,
better old clothes so they can look like sty o typical.
(05:33):
Let's get some the nineties. Look at you? Okay, I
like it. Give me a spin. Come on, turn around,
turn okay. So the last Oh yeah, dude, work it.
Who's gonna cut down some trees? Chloe? Are outfit makes
(05:56):
me feel like I should be on the cover of
Plaid today except tim our issue. Dude. I know this
is our first gig. Come on, we have to look
the part. How is the second hand flannel going to
do that for us? Chloe? This makes no sense. Um.
The venue is called gold Star, dude. Okay, Oh right,
and keep forgetting I guess you wouldn't know anything about
(06:18):
that one. Wow. You know what. I didn't realize me
not being a gold Star lesbian affected you this much.
Well you should have realized. It's literally all I can
think about now. All right, let me let me put
it this way. We're lesbians. Yeah, we're playing guitars, not
a place called gold Star, Okay. I mean people are
(06:39):
gonna be expecting craving, hoping for an acoustic set obviously,
so you know, Flannel, Wait, an acoustic is that what
Becky wants? Who cares? It's what the people want? Yeah,
but some of our songs don't even have an acoustic
version yet. Oh no, no, no no, I know we're not.
We're not playing those. We're not playing those. So what
are we going to play that? I'll send you a
(07:01):
little later. I wrote like four new songs last night. Okay,
it's pretty exciting. I can tell you that it's going
to be like a lot like Tracy Chapman and the
Indigo Girls, like mixed up in a blunder. Don't worry,
you'll pick them up fast. It's gonna be perfect. Wait,
you wrote four songs? What were you doing crushing at
her all all night? And who are the Diego Girls?
(07:24):
Oh my god, I can't believe you know Indigo girls? Okay, sorry,
who are the Indego Girls? Okay? Oh wow, you really aren't,
Uncle Sir Lesbian Chloe, I swear if you keep bringing
up y'all doing all right over here? Oh yeah? Curiosity? Um.
(07:46):
Too many shirts that say we've been dating for a
week and now want to take it to the next
level by going a couple of therapy or like something
in that vein. You know now we don't, but we
know we do. We have some shirts that's say little
up and on with kalvankalving only you so you sell
used underwear here? Yeah, we call it lightly you No, no, no, no,
(08:14):
you know what. We are all set on underwear. We
just got some the other day. Um. But thank you
for your for the offer. You don't know problem, sir.
You know, Holly, if you need me hm rata from sir.
Honestly I don't need it. Oh then good sir. I
tip the hat to you. Okay. So um, I was
(08:40):
thinking maybe we could play one of my songs, the
one that I showed you the other day. Oh um.
I mean I'm not sure it would really fit the
whole acoustic theme, you know, Like I don't think it'll
vibe with the crowd, but um, you know, next time
(09:01):
probably yeah cool? Oh my god. Okay, you know what,
you have to get that flannel and I'm going to
get this one because with like you and the red
and knee and the gaream unstoppable. Hi. We'd like to
interrupt the program to talk about something extremely serious, and
(09:23):
that is producing a comedy podcast during the COVID pandemic
due to these unprecedented times. You may hear in the
upcoming scenes myself voicing both Becky and the host of
tonight's show at gold Star. Once again, Becky and the
host are two different characters played by me narrator one.
(09:45):
Sure in retrospect this is confusing, and yes, this type
of thing might happen many more times throughout the season.
Please take a moment to suspend your disbelief and remember,
as they say in high school musical, We're all in
this together. Now back to the show. Yo, I thought
(10:11):
you said this was an acoustic show. Yeah, dude, it is. Well.
Oh look there's Becky Becky. Hey, wait, does she mad
to you or is she like not kind of giving me? Yes,
I mean it just looks like she's blinking. Okay, pay
Chloe from the goal and sorry, what's your name? Deja?
(10:33):
Also from the goal? Right, Actually, it's okay. Here are
your drink tickets if you have any sound needs. Franciscoes
in the back. I have to go check in with
the m C. But let me know if you guys
do anything. Okay, cool, Thanks, welcome to gold Star Cafe.
Without further ado, please give it up for your hosts.
(10:59):
Not free job, free bagel. Hello, thank you for blessing
us with your presence tonight and cold stark coffee. We
know mercury is in retrograde, so we appreciate you even
more for coming out. Thank you. We have such a
great show. Fire tonight. Let's go ahead and get the
(11:19):
show started with some spoken word poetry. That's right, introducing
as once again, hit it, Francisco. The rain is falling, falling, falling.
Your tears are calling, calling, calling. My wound is an
(11:41):
empty basket. Best cat, best cat, waiting for your hand.
Let's touch touch, touch me me me, Oh my god,
what is what kind of show have you brought you to? Oh? No,
(12:03):
oh god, I hope we're not next, right, don't let
us be next? Very special, normous by the goal. No,
they seem so nice. Let's give it a particle. Oh
did they? Did they just bow at us? Do we
(12:25):
bow back up? Yep, we're bowing. Okay, bout hello gold star,
we're the goal. Shout out to Becky, Hey Becky, thanks
for having us. All right, how about we just get started?
What song do you want to do? First? Dude? Just
follow my lead? One, two, three, four. You have green hair,
(12:49):
I have pink. You had green hair. I have th
da swimming. My sweat pours past fear to do you then,
mont Drew, is your name as Sunday? My ant name
(13:14):
is Dedi, by the way, and not by the way,
isn't her last name of desire? Whose desire? Yeah? You
(13:39):
are green Hair. I think on pitch Day that song
was called Pools of Desire. Um. This next song is
another one I wrote last night. It's called Happy Mother's Day, Dad.
This one goes out to you, Dad, wherever you are.
(14:02):
I want to three dat you Dad? What do you
think me? Da? Appreciate me? So? Happy mothers? Do? Happy
(14:32):
mother shit? Damn it? Buck, I mean sorry, sorry, everyone,
Just let me start over that that wasn't right. Just
give me a second. Hold on to Chloe, what are
you doing? All right? Well? Thanks? Wait wait no, no,
(14:56):
please please wait, just let us do one more? Please,
we got it? One more? What are you doing? You're
fucking on the show. Just follow my lead. And I
keep waiting for something new, but only something that will
change my mind, Like I keep waiting for something true,
that fairy tale ship that don't make you blue. But
(15:18):
I'm caught up losing afraid of what you were choosing
in me. What could we be if you chosese me?
(15:39):
You chose me. How could things be if I chose me? Ya? Wow?
(16:00):
Wow that last song was you know, made a little
hot and heavy, right, just and t because we have
another poem for you guys. Yes, it's by us Francisco.
You know what to do talk Oh my clock time.
(16:22):
This audience was cord. I don't know why they didn't
like our set. I don't know what's wrong with them.
They're just all yeah, I don't know, weird, they're they're weird.
But I mean they did seem to like our last song,
so oh really you think so? Yeah? I mean it
seems heyds right. That last song was killer. The crowd
(16:42):
loved you, you think, Thanks dude? You know I actually
got you a drink. Hope you like to quill due?
Thank you? Hey, Becky, I guess I'll just get my
own drink then be right back. Yeah you really dope?
Did you produce that track too? Yeah? I did incredible. Listen.
I hope book KEPOC events all over Oakland. Let me
(17:05):
get your email. I'll keep an eye off for any
potential gigs for you yo. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
thanks so much, like for real? Thank you? That? Actually,
what are you doing tonight? Nothing? Really why I was
up because I'm hosting get together. You should stop on by.
The beer here is so expensive. Actually that sounds really cool.
(17:27):
Can Chloe come with me? Oh? Most deaf? Most deaf? Wait,
what's happening now? Welcome to London Town. We just got
what this is actually Oakland. Let's go on a party tonight.
Sounds so tight. Turn that round upside down, Chloe, she said, Dude,
(17:52):
ring the doorbell. I did do it again, I did twice.
Maybe you should just text her here. Hold this, I'll knock.
I should believe you brought this. I thought fruitcake was
only available during the holidays. Well I didn't want to
show up empty handed, and it was half off at
the corner store. So oh oh gross. Oh yeah, hopefully
(18:16):
it doesn't care anyone. Hey, guys, come on in. Welcome
to Chateau Beckat Hey nice place. Oh, I brought something.
I think it's a fruitcake. Oh dope, you know my
Grandmoma's fruitcake. Thank you? Is she here? No, she's dead, um,
but she were here, I'm sure she'd eat it up.
(18:37):
And you guys, Hey, Marie baby, come over here. Okay, Desa,
this is my girlfriend Marie. Marie. This is Desia and
obviously you know Chloe. Hi, Desia, it's nice to meet you, Chloe.
Pleasure as always. Hey Marie, Desia, did you know that
(18:58):
Chloe here is just posible for starting our beautiful open relationship? Oh?
I was not aware? Were you away of this? Chloe?
I was not, but Gruey, you're welcome. Yeah you know.
I was like a little bit hesitant at first, I
will admit, but now I see it's made us so
(19:20):
much more closer. M all right, Um, so we're gonna
go and grab some drinks. I love you so much.
Oh my god, Becky is staring at me while they're
making out right in the eyes, so creepy or hot?
(19:43):
I decided. Yet, good to know everything is okay between
you guys. Yeah. Hopefully she'll book us for more shows,
but not at gold Star. I'm going to stay it again.
But that crowds on it for a week and it
went away. Oh ship is that Gina? Hey? Let's go
say hi Gina. Oh actually I think I think I
(20:06):
know this person. Terry. Is that you? Terry? What's up? Actually?
It's gay? They just please don't wow? Okay bye, excuse me,
gay girl coming through? Excuse me. Oh, Gina, Chloe, my girl, Hey,
long time, no see have you been. How's the studio life? Oh?
(20:28):
You know, the usual drawing from Vegina's and I can't complain.
Oh my gosh, Dave, that is good. You should really
trademark that. I can see it now. Gina's Vegina's. Okay,
I am like buying this domain right this minute. Just
it's like, Chloe, have you that night? Partner? Tina? Partner?
(20:49):
I don't know, I don't think so. Oh hi, Gina
and I have been partners since I started my famous
online quilting business. I started it four months ago, and
you know, it's just been popping off ever since. It's
a real whirlwind. Oh you know Chrissy Teagan, she is
a huge fan. I always thought that was like for
(21:12):
old people, you know, wow, age just much. Oh no, no,
I was just kidding. I just didn't realize that people
actually still quilt it. You know. The only quote I
know is like quilted Northern. Did you get it? No,
that's weird. Um hey let me see your phone. Um, okay,
(21:37):
this is my handle, so amazing spelled s e w C.
I'm going to click follow and okay, great, yeah, new friends. Great,
I'll look for your follow back then. Oh no, I
really like to keep my feed clear. Yeah. My therapist
thinks it's like healthier for me, so I only follow
(21:57):
blue checks doctor's orders. Sorry, yeah she doesn't. She doesn't
even follow me, so don't it's not personal. Yeah, Chloe,
did I see you walk in with Desia like and
a loaf of bread? Ah? Yes, Desia and a very
old fruit cake. And I'm not talking about myself funny. Okay,
(22:18):
I'm going to go say hi to her. Tina tell
Chloe about the tumor. Oh my god, Okay, you better
sit down. You will never believe this better than the
BA like you need to binge watch season five immediately.
Oh I'm sorry to interrupt. You know what I think?
My phone is ringing ring ring. Oh yeah, it looks
(22:40):
like my cousin. I'm cousin. Hey, cousin, aren't Prudence? So
let me tell you what happens next. Desia duchess Tina
like a cold heart accent, Asa meets Tina Tinas with
Gina beckets look up with Chloe gave us actually dry
or starry she gave But it doesn't matter because everybody's
(23:03):
game beyond to the Dad. They'll take you the dad,
and then they'll take you the day they'll take you
the dad. Breads on Gina wind this tru Betina hope
teach a big truth. Of course she makes true now
they just feeling makes that she's gotta take a leak.
(23:23):
So she talks to the Brook and doesn't weak. And
she doesn't want to tell the jee and she likes
Gina does she thinks telling does too. She doesn't want
to tell the Juth. How's Jenslan? Tina wants to go
to Oh jeez, okay, calm down, Dasha, breathe, okay, deep breaths.
(23:50):
Be cool, You're cool. Everything is cool, right, busy occupied
to I said, busy one second, I've seen one moment.
Can I come in? Oh, I'm I mean, I'm kind
(24:13):
of in here, so all right, I'm coming in. Are you?
Are you okay? Yeah? I'm fine? What is with you
in bathrooms? You've been avoiding me all night? Me? No,
I've not been avoiding you. I mean, that's crazy. You're
crazy if you think that I've really been really I'm crazy. Yeah, crazy, Danja.
(24:34):
I'm not leaving this bathroom until you tell me. What's up? Well,
I guess you're gonna be stuck in here all night then,
because nothing is up? What is it? Tina? Look, I
know she comes off as an asshole, but she's like
a good personally. She seems real great. You picked a
real winner. What do you mean by that? I mean
(24:56):
you've got great taste, Chloe, Tina, that random guy you
showed up with the other day in my apartment, seems
like you're dating all kinds of great people. Whoa whoa,
whoa whoa whoa slowed down. So this is what it's about. Yeah,
you flirt with me at that party, wanting me to
text you, and then I find out you slept with
(25:16):
my roommate. Now you're flaunting all these other people in
front of me. I don't know. I just I don't
get it. Wow, Okay, First of all, nothing happened with Chloe.
She was drunk. I was drunk. I took her home
and slept on the foot of her bed. That was it.
Second of all, I'm not flaunting anyone in front of you.
I'm just happily dating people. That's what polly people do. Well,
(25:41):
why are you flirting with me? Then? If you're happily
dating other people because I like you. I'm sorry, I
just don't understand. How how hard is it for you
to understand? I like you? Do you do? You want
(26:03):
to get out of here? The bathroom? Where the party? Um?
I don't know? Both? What about Tina? Tina m I'm
not her primary. She knows I'm not going home with
her tonight, got it? You know what? I still have
so much to learn. All right, let's go. Are you coming? Oh? Well,
(26:32):
I actually do have to use the bathroom, So could
you like, oh for a second, yeah, of course. Sorry,
I'm gonna I'll get you out there, and I'm closing
the door. Now, did you get the answers you're looking for?
Low young love? Where everybody go? I don't know. I
(26:57):
think they went outside? Chloe, why don't you wear pants?
Three words for you? Lesbian oil wrestling party? Oh? Okay,
that's far words. Okay, that sounds like something I'm definitely
not interested in. You baby, have fun? Okay? Oh wait,
(27:23):
and you're you're okay? Yeah? Yeah, I'm all good. I'm
just probably gonna go home and smoke a little bit.
That sounds great. I'll see you at home probably sometimes
I'm sure the future. Where are you were next? Gosh,
she's gonna eat in your lives? Okay, I gotta go bye?
(27:44):
Oh are you ready? Yes, ma'am? Okay, Wow, Desha, you
think she's gonna get it in tonight? I think she might,
I mean hopeful. I don't think she's ever done this before.
I don't think so either. Do you think Gina is
(28:04):
patient enough? I don't know. She's really gotta like guide
her through because you know, I didn't know. I mean
I didn't know. Pussy has had variety. You know, my
first time a word, Well, I'm gonna say it again,
pussy variety. Alright, Tune in next time to Tampon Rock.
(28:26):
This episode was created and written by Alicia Brown, Sarah
Almond and Sophie Didn't Call, Directed and composed by Sarah Almond.
Music supervised by Alicia Brown and Sophie Didn't Call. Executive
produced by Brian Wallon for Anthem Entertainment. Produced by Selena
Razick with audio by Take Gregor and David Gulick. Starring
Nita Lewis, Jules Forsburg, Larry and Leah Cocontis. Narrated by
(28:49):
Alicia Brown and Sarah Almond. And additional voices by el
An Horn, David Gulick, take Gregor, and Sophie didn't call
(29:09):
for more podcasts from My heart Radio, Visit the I
heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get podcasts.
M
Tampon Rock is a production of Anthem Entertainment and I
Heart Radio. Welcome to Tampon Rock. Tampon Rock, don't we
(00:33):
don't want to anyway. Previously on Tampon Rock, Gina met Deja,
Deja lost her job and Chloe didn't either. Oh Chloe,
Oh look it's Desha and Gina in bed. Huh uh?
Can we can we go checking on that? M I
(00:58):
love being the little huh. And I love it when
you're my little spoon. I'm so happy you chose me
over Chloe. And I'm glad that random guy you showed
up with the other day was just your weird cousin
and not your boyfriend. Yes, silly, come on, you know
you're the only one for me. Is it okay? We
(01:20):
kiss again? Yes? Of course, turned around and kiss me. Wait, Jean,
I said, turn around and kiss me, baby. It's prom night.
Come on, you promised tonight we'd finally seal the deal.
But where's Gina? She was just you? You? You were her?
(01:46):
Well you've really been hitting, not from just hard having you.
I don't drink John, You know that about me? Who
I was just you? And I'm not sleeping with you? Okay? Okay,
but we need about knife. What knife? Oh? Right, then knife,
(02:07):
I'm going to stab you with? Sorry, Johnny boy? Oh
what have I done? Wake up? Deja? No, it's just
a dream. But I was covering in so much blood.
You're not covered in any blood? Oh no, wait, actually
(02:29):
you are. No, she got a period. She woke up
like this. This is your lawyer calling those fiance lyrics
like yeah, we can't uh you know so, Deja? Who's John? John? Yeah,
(02:50):
the one you were screaming about this morning? Oh that John.
How much did you hear of that dream? Oh? Not
too much? Just you know the murder part? Cool? Google Google?
Oh yeah, John from high school. I've never told you
by him? No, I don't recall receiving that information. No,
definitely not. It was just the first person I ever
slept with. Wait, sorry, what what do you say? You
(03:11):
were like mumbling he was the first person I read
a sex with no big deal? Wait? What chill? It's
not a big deal. Okay, so you're telling me that
you are not a gold star lesbian. How did I
not know that? God? I feel so loud to wait. Okay, okay,
(03:34):
let me get this straight. The sex was so bad
that you dreamt about murdering him five years later. Dreams
work in mysterious ways. No, I think that was God.
Are you trying to convert me? Yes? Peace be with you.
Welcome to the Church of Chloe Stevens of Latter Day Saints.
Please be seated. Oh fuck? What it's Becky ship? Do
(04:02):
you think she found the vibrator I left at her house?
I mean, did you write your name on it? Uh?
Who do you think I am? But what do I do?
I do? I don't know? Answer it? Okay, okay, Oh
hey Becky? How you? I mean, how's it going? M
(04:22):
my sea? What's going on? Uh? Yeah okay, sure, yeah,
yeah yeah, so many songs? Got it? Time? Perfect? Okay, yeah,
I'll see you then. But by now, well, Um, Becky
(04:46):
just called to tell me she's also shocked you're not
a gold star lesbian. I hate you so much. Well
was she talking about? Um? Well, huh, spit it out, dude.
We just got our first paid gig. Yeah, we're finding money, money, money, money,
(05:11):
money every time. They just got the first big gig. No,
they got to go shopping for a s new clothes,
better old clothes so they can look like sty o typical.
(05:33):
Let's get some the nineties. Look at you? Okay, I
like it. Give me a spin. Come on, turn around,
turn okay. So the last Oh yeah, dude, work it.
Who's gonna cut down some trees? Chloe? Are outfit makes
(05:56):
me feel like I should be on the cover of
Plaid today except tim our issue. Dude. I know this
is our first gig. Come on, we have to look
the part. How is the second hand flannel going to
do that for us? Chloe? This makes no sense. Um.
The venue is called gold Star, dude. Okay, Oh right,
and keep forgetting I guess you wouldn't know anything about
(06:18):
that one. Wow. You know what. I didn't realize me
not being a gold Star lesbian affected you this much.
Well you should have realized. It's literally all I can
think about now. All right, let me let me put
it this way. We're lesbians. Yeah, we're playing guitars, not
a place called gold Star, Okay. I mean people are
(06:39):
gonna be expecting craving, hoping for an acoustic set obviously,
so you know, Flannel, Wait, an acoustic is that what
Becky wants? Who cares? It's what the people want? Yeah,
but some of our songs don't even have an acoustic
version yet. Oh no, no, no no, I know we're not.
We're not playing those. We're not playing those. So what
are we going to play that? I'll send you a
(07:01):
little later. I wrote like four new songs last night. Okay,
it's pretty exciting. I can tell you that it's going
to be like a lot like Tracy Chapman and the
Indigo Girls, like mixed up in a blunder. Don't worry,
you'll pick them up fast. It's gonna be perfect. Wait,
you wrote four songs? What were you doing crushing at
her all all night? And who are the Diego Girls?
(07:24):
Oh my god, I can't believe you know Indigo girls? Okay, sorry,
who are the Indego Girls? Okay? Oh wow, you really aren't,
Uncle Sir Lesbian Chloe, I swear if you keep bringing
up y'all doing all right over here? Oh yeah? Curiosity? Um.
(07:46):
Too many shirts that say we've been dating for a
week and now want to take it to the next
level by going a couple of therapy or like something
in that vein. You know now we don't, but we
know we do. We have some shirts that's say little
up and on with kalvankalving only you so you sell
used underwear here? Yeah, we call it lightly you No, no, no, no,
(08:14):
you know what. We are all set on underwear. We
just got some the other day. Um. But thank you
for your for the offer. You don't know problem, sir.
You know, Holly, if you need me hm rata from sir.
Honestly I don't need it. Oh then good sir. I
tip the hat to you. Okay. So um, I was
(08:40):
thinking maybe we could play one of my songs, the
one that I showed you the other day. Oh um.
I mean I'm not sure it would really fit the
whole acoustic theme, you know, Like I don't think it'll
vibe with the crowd, but um, you know, next time
(09:01):
probably yeah cool? Oh my god. Okay, you know what,
you have to get that flannel and I'm going to
get this one because with like you and the red
and knee and the gaream unstoppable. Hi. We'd like to
interrupt the program to talk about something extremely serious, and
(09:23):
that is producing a comedy podcast during the COVID pandemic
due to these unprecedented times. You may hear in the
upcoming scenes myself voicing both Becky and the host of
tonight's show at gold Star. Once again, Becky and the
host are two different characters played by me narrator one.
(09:45):
Sure in retrospect this is confusing, and yes, this type
of thing might happen many more times throughout the season.
Please take a moment to suspend your disbelief and remember,
as they say in high school musical, We're all in
this together. Now back to the show. Yo, I thought
(10:11):
you said this was an acoustic show. Yeah, dude, it is. Well.
Oh look there's Becky Becky. Hey, wait, does she mad
to you or is she like not kind of giving me? Yes,
I mean it just looks like she's blinking. Okay, pay
Chloe from the goal and sorry, what's your name? Deja?
(10:33):
Also from the goal? Right, Actually, it's okay. Here are
your drink tickets if you have any sound needs. Franciscoes
in the back. I have to go check in with
the m C. But let me know if you guys
do anything. Okay, cool, Thanks, welcome to gold Star Cafe.
Without further ado, please give it up for your hosts.
(10:59):
Not free job, free bagel. Hello, thank you for blessing
us with your presence tonight and cold stark coffee. We
know mercury is in retrograde, so we appreciate you even
more for coming out. Thank you. We have such a
great show. Fire tonight. Let's go ahead and get the
(11:19):
show started with some spoken word poetry. That's right, introducing
as once again, hit it, Francisco. The rain is falling, falling, falling.
Your tears are calling, calling, calling. My wound is an
(11:41):
empty basket. Best cat, best cat, waiting for your hand.
Let's touch touch, touch me me me, Oh my god,
what is what kind of show have you brought you to? Oh? No,
(12:03):
oh god, I hope we're not next, right, don't let
us be next? Very special, normous by the goal. No,
they seem so nice. Let's give it a particle. Oh
did they? Did they just bow at us? Do we
(12:25):
bow back up? Yep, we're bowing. Okay, bout hello gold star,
we're the goal. Shout out to Becky, Hey Becky, thanks
for having us. All right, how about we just get started?
What song do you want to do? First? Dude? Just
follow my lead? One, two, three, four. You have green hair,
(12:49):
I have pink. You had green hair. I have th
da swimming. My sweat pours past fear to do you then,
mont Drew, is your name as Sunday? My ant name
(13:14):
is Dedi, by the way, and not by the way,
isn't her last name of desire? Whose desire? Yeah? You
(13:39):
are green Hair. I think on pitch Day that song
was called Pools of Desire. Um. This next song is
another one I wrote last night. It's called Happy Mother's Day, Dad.
This one goes out to you, Dad, wherever you are.
(14:02):
I want to three dat you Dad? What do you
think me? Da? Appreciate me? So? Happy mothers? Do? Happy
(14:32):
mother shit? Damn it? Buck, I mean sorry, sorry, everyone,
Just let me start over that that wasn't right. Just
give me a second. Hold on to Chloe, what are
you doing? All right? Well? Thanks? Wait wait no, no,
(14:56):
please please wait, just let us do one more? Please,
we got it? One more? What are you doing? You're
fucking on the show. Just follow my lead. And I
keep waiting for something new, but only something that will
change my mind, Like I keep waiting for something true,
that fairy tale ship that don't make you blue. But
(15:18):
I'm caught up losing afraid of what you were choosing
in me. What could we be if you chosese me?
(15:39):
You chose me. How could things be if I chose me? Ya? Wow?
(16:00):
Wow that last song was you know, made a little
hot and heavy, right, just and t because we have
another poem for you guys. Yes, it's by us Francisco.
You know what to do talk Oh my clock time.
(16:22):
This audience was cord. I don't know why they didn't
like our set. I don't know what's wrong with them.
They're just all yeah, I don't know, weird, they're they're weird.
But I mean they did seem to like our last song,
so oh really you think so? Yeah? I mean it
seems heyds right. That last song was killer. The crowd
(16:42):
loved you, you think, Thanks dude? You know I actually
got you a drink. Hope you like to quill due?
Thank you? Hey, Becky, I guess I'll just get my
own drink then be right back. Yeah you really dope?
Did you produce that track too? Yeah? I did incredible. Listen.
I hope book KEPOC events all over Oakland. Let me
(17:05):
get your email. I'll keep an eye off for any
potential gigs for you yo. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
thanks so much, like for real? Thank you? That? Actually,
what are you doing tonight? Nothing? Really why I was
up because I'm hosting get together. You should stop on by.
The beer here is so expensive. Actually that sounds really cool.
(17:27):
Can Chloe come with me? Oh? Most deaf? Most deaf? Wait,
what's happening now? Welcome to London Town. We just got
what this is actually Oakland. Let's go on a party tonight.
Sounds so tight. Turn that round upside down, Chloe, she said, Dude,
(17:52):
ring the doorbell. I did do it again, I did twice.
Maybe you should just text her here. Hold this, I'll knock.
I should believe you brought this. I thought fruitcake was
only available during the holidays. Well I didn't want to
show up empty handed, and it was half off at
the corner store. So oh oh gross. Oh yeah, hopefully
(18:16):
it doesn't care anyone. Hey, guys, come on in. Welcome
to Chateau Beckat Hey nice place. Oh, I brought something.
I think it's a fruitcake. Oh dope, you know my
Grandmoma's fruitcake. Thank you? Is she here? No, she's dead, um,
but she were here, I'm sure she'd eat it up.
(18:37):
And you guys, Hey, Marie baby, come over here. Okay, Desa,
this is my girlfriend Marie. Marie. This is Desia and
obviously you know Chloe. Hi, Desia, it's nice to meet you, Chloe.
Pleasure as always. Hey Marie, Desia, did you know that
(18:58):
Chloe here is just posible for starting our beautiful open relationship? Oh?
I was not aware? Were you away of this? Chloe?
I was not, but Gruey, you're welcome. Yeah you know.
I was like a little bit hesitant at first, I
will admit, but now I see it's made us so
(19:20):
much more closer. M all right, Um, so we're gonna
go and grab some drinks. I love you so much.
Oh my god, Becky is staring at me while they're
making out right in the eyes, so creepy or hot?
(19:43):
I decided. Yet, good to know everything is okay between
you guys. Yeah. Hopefully she'll book us for more shows,
but not at gold Star. I'm going to stay it again.
But that crowds on it for a week and it
went away. Oh ship is that Gina? Hey? Let's go
say hi Gina. Oh actually I think I think I
(20:06):
know this person. Terry. Is that you? Terry? What's up? Actually?
It's gay? They just please don't wow? Okay bye, excuse me,
gay girl coming through? Excuse me. Oh, Gina, Chloe, my girl, Hey,
long time, no see have you been. How's the studio life? Oh?
(20:28):
You know, the usual drawing from Vegina's and I can't complain.
Oh my gosh, Dave, that is good. You should really
trademark that. I can see it now. Gina's Vegina's. Okay,
I am like buying this domain right this minute. Just
it's like, Chloe, have you that night? Partner? Tina? Partner?
(20:49):
I don't know, I don't think so. Oh hi, Gina
and I have been partners since I started my famous
online quilting business. I started it four months ago, and
you know, it's just been popping off ever since. It's
a real whirlwind. Oh you know Chrissy Teagan, she is
a huge fan. I always thought that was like for
(21:12):
old people, you know, wow, age just much. Oh no, no,
I was just kidding. I just didn't realize that people
actually still quilt it. You know. The only quote I
know is like quilted Northern. Did you get it? No,
that's weird. Um hey let me see your phone. Um, okay,
(21:37):
this is my handle, so amazing spelled s e w C.
I'm going to click follow and okay, great, yeah, new friends. Great,
I'll look for your follow back then. Oh no, I
really like to keep my feed clear. Yeah. My therapist
thinks it's like healthier for me, so I only follow
(21:57):
blue checks doctor's orders. Sorry, yeah she doesn't. She doesn't
even follow me, so don't it's not personal. Yeah, Chloe,
did I see you walk in with Desia like and
a loaf of bread? Ah? Yes, Desia and a very
old fruit cake. And I'm not talking about myself funny. Okay,
(22:18):
I'm going to go say hi to her. Tina tell
Chloe about the tumor. Oh my god, Okay, you better
sit down. You will never believe this better than the
BA like you need to binge watch season five immediately.
Oh I'm sorry to interrupt. You know what I think?
My phone is ringing ring ring. Oh yeah, it looks
(22:40):
like my cousin. I'm cousin. Hey, cousin, aren't Prudence? So
let me tell you what happens next. Desia duchess Tina
like a cold heart accent, Asa meets Tina Tinas with
Gina beckets look up with Chloe gave us actually dry
or starry she gave But it doesn't matter because everybody's
(23:03):
game beyond to the Dad. They'll take you the dad,
and then they'll take you the day they'll take you
the dad. Breads on Gina wind this tru Betina hope
teach a big truth. Of course she makes true now
they just feeling makes that she's gotta take a leak.
(23:23):
So she talks to the Brook and doesn't weak. And
she doesn't want to tell the jee and she likes
Gina does she thinks telling does too. She doesn't want
to tell the Juth. How's Jenslan? Tina wants to go
to Oh jeez, okay, calm down, Dasha, breathe, okay, deep breaths.
(23:50):
Be cool, You're cool. Everything is cool, right, busy occupied
to I said, busy one second, I've seen one moment.
Can I come in? Oh, I'm I mean, I'm kind
(24:13):
of in here, so all right, I'm coming in. Are you?
Are you okay? Yeah? I'm fine? What is with you
in bathrooms? You've been avoiding me all night? Me? No,
I've not been avoiding you. I mean, that's crazy. You're
crazy if you think that I've really been really I'm crazy. Yeah, crazy, Danja.
(24:34):
I'm not leaving this bathroom until you tell me. What's up? Well,
I guess you're gonna be stuck in here all night then,
because nothing is up? What is it? Tina? Look, I
know she comes off as an asshole, but she's like
a good personally. She seems real great. You picked a
real winner. What do you mean by that? I mean
(24:56):
you've got great taste, Chloe, Tina, that random guy you
showed up with the other day in my apartment, seems
like you're dating all kinds of great people. Whoa whoa,
whoa whoa whoa slowed down. So this is what it's about. Yeah,
you flirt with me at that party, wanting me to
text you, and then I find out you slept with
(25:16):
my roommate. Now you're flaunting all these other people in
front of me. I don't know. I just I don't
get it. Wow, Okay, First of all, nothing happened with Chloe.
She was drunk. I was drunk. I took her home
and slept on the foot of her bed. That was it.
Second of all, I'm not flaunting anyone in front of you.
I'm just happily dating people. That's what polly people do. Well,
(25:41):
why are you flirting with me? Then? If you're happily
dating other people because I like you. I'm sorry, I
just don't understand. How how hard is it for you
to understand? I like you? Do you do? You want
(26:03):
to get out of here? The bathroom? Where the party? Um?
I don't know? Both? What about Tina? Tina m I'm
not her primary. She knows I'm not going home with
her tonight, got it? You know what? I still have
so much to learn. All right, let's go. Are you coming? Oh? Well,
(26:32):
I actually do have to use the bathroom, So could
you like, oh for a second, yeah, of course. Sorry,
I'm gonna I'll get you out there, and I'm closing
the door. Now, did you get the answers you're looking for?
Low young love? Where everybody go? I don't know. I
(26:57):
think they went outside? Chloe, why don't you wear pants?
Three words for you? Lesbian oil wrestling party? Oh? Okay,
that's far words. Okay, that sounds like something I'm definitely
not interested in. You baby, have fun? Okay? Oh wait,
(27:23):
and you're you're okay? Yeah? Yeah, I'm all good. I'm
just probably gonna go home and smoke a little bit.
That sounds great. I'll see you at home probably sometimes
I'm sure the future. Where are you were next? Gosh,
she's gonna eat in your lives? Okay, I gotta go bye?
(27:44):
Oh are you ready? Yes, ma'am? Okay, Wow, Desha, you
think she's gonna get it in tonight? I think she might,
I mean hopeful. I don't think she's ever done this before.
I don't think so either. Do you think Gina is
(28:04):
patient enough? I don't know. She's really gotta like guide
her through because you know, I didn't know. I mean
I didn't know. Pussy has had variety. You know, my
first time a word, Well, I'm gonna say it again,
pussy variety. Alright, Tune in next time to Tampon Rock.
(28:26):
This episode was created and written by Alicia Brown, Sarah
Almond and Sophie Didn't Call, Directed and composed by Sarah Almond.
Music supervised by Alicia Brown and Sophie Didn't Call. Executive
produced by Brian Wallon for Anthem Entertainment. Produced by Selena
Razick with audio by Take Gregor and David Gulick. Starring
Nita Lewis, Jules Forsburg, Larry and Leah Cocontis. Narrated by
(28:49):
Alicia Brown and Sarah Almond. And additional voices by el
An Horn, David Gulick, take Gregor, and Sophie didn't call
(29:09):
for more podcasts from My heart Radio, Visit the I
heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get podcasts.
M
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