November 4, 2025 • 47 mins
This week on Thanks Dad, Ego sat down with Emmy award-winning talk show host and New York Times best selling author, Tamron Hall! They talk about failing on game shows, dealing with childhood bullies, and breaking up with men who almost let them drown! (Yes — drown.) Finally, Tamron talks about how her childhood has influenced her own parenting and gives some of her sage advice to a lucky listener!
Want some advice from Ego and her guest? Leave a message at (502) 849-3237 (THX-DADS)!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
My guest today is Emmy award winning talk show hosts,
New York Times best selling author and host of The
Tamaron Hall Show, Tamern Hall. Hello, Hello, beautiful, Oh my goodness,
I'm good. I'm so happy to see you.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
I am so happy to see you. I haven't seen you.
It's been two weeks, but it feels like two years.
The last time, we were sitting at the bar looking
like a was it looking for mister Goodbar? Remember that movie?
Speaker 1 (00:33):
No I'm older than Okay, No, I don't know that.
I was going to pretend for a second.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
I was like, we were brown girls Sex in the
City version.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
It was giving that.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
It was giving sex in the city. We were at
what was it Rafts?
Speaker 1 (00:43):
We were at Rafts. Yes, and it's such a cute,
little intimate spot. I end up having dinner there two days, lady, Yes,
and it was as good as I remember. But you
know what, I love to eat out. That's my main problem.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Really do you cook it all? I mean, okay, I'm.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Over here, like, oh my goodness, I'm getting to interview
Tammern Hall.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
So nervous.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
We're switching rolls today.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
We're super nervy. Are you nerve for too well, my
son Moses is here, but yes, today they're out of school. Yes,
and my childcare situation crumbled, like my relaxer my hair
right now, your looks grand because it's a monsoon outside.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
It's crazy outside.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
And then I said, oh, I'm gonna put on some
jeans and this cool jacket. And I love vintage shopping.
And I have these jeans that I bought. They're from
nineteen seventies, nineteen seventy Levi's I buy a lot from
the seventies. That was the year I was born. And
I don't know, like three four weeks ago they fit
And today it's like the Beyonce song. If you don't
jump to put your jeans on, you don't feel my pain.
So I'm slightly leaned back.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I see how you're doing a little subject to slip
the way and listen. If you decide to unbutton that
top button.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
I may not make the decision. The button may decide,
and then your poor team over here, somebody might lose
an eye. So I hope you have insurance because it's
going down.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Okay, listen, I think they have insurance. If they don't
just run, just run through the door by, change your name,
change the name of the show, everything. And I the
other day, getting in the car on my way to
a dinner, my button popped on my blazer. But it
was a blazer that's just like it's one button and
it's giving snatch. But I was in Paris for like
(02:17):
two weeks and I just had just come back the
day of kind of living a fabulous.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
I was my button popped, and you know, I mean no,
I wasn't in you know, Queens when it happened. I
was in Paris. If your button's gonna pop off anywhere,
I would prefer.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
To be in Paris. But the thing is it popped
in New York. It did pop in New York. I
had just come back from Paris, where I was indulging.
I was eating anything I could put my eyes on,
any and everything. Oh okay, hold on my favorite thing
that I ate in Paris, Dan Dan noodles from this
chef Keith, who was doing a residency at this restaurant.
He lives in Toronto. But they like host rotating chefs
(02:53):
really and I was hesitant to do the Dan Dan
noodles because I like them, but I don't always like them.
And he insisted, and I was like okay, and then
he was like, we can give you a half portion.
We do half portions, and I was like, yeah, let's
do the half portion because I'm not sure.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
And then you so mad as hell.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
You know.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
I have experienced that where I just went to Kabawa,
which is on the Lower East Side of New York,
and the chef is really celebrated right now. It's part
of the Momofuku chain, but it's like their first thing,
and he's done a Caribbean influence menu there and goat
is one of my favorite things to eat. Mind really,
(03:31):
I had no idea it's one of my favorite things.
And he has a curry goat with this amazing rote.
It's all elevated. You know. He had one of the
most successful restaurants in Sydney, Australia, the chef Paul Carmichael,
and now he's here in New York and he had
this goat and it was like this little bit and
I wanted to like some more.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
I think a little bit more.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Nothing works and you're like, oh, I don't think I'm
gonna like.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
It, and you're like, I love it and I need it.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
No, I have food dreams, right, do you get that?
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Like, oh yeah, I'll.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Leave and and that I will dream about the meal
that I had and it's just like insatiable and I
need it again.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Oh yeah, I wait, but okay, So I'm always looking
at menus. I'm always planning my next meal. On the
way here today, I was like, so when I'm up
in the area of the studio, what will I eat?
Because I'm like, oh, a new area. I don't usually
hang out up here. I was like on Google, like,
what's up there to eat?
Speaker 2 (04:22):
That? That's just interesting. You say that. My cousin Erica,
she's like my sister. She happens to be an only child.
We're cousins, but we're very much like sisters. And she
will look at the menu before we go to the restaurant,
and she'll decide before we go in the restaurant what
she's going to eat.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
You know, that's wild. I just I want every meal
I have to be amazing. And so I am a
kind of similar and like cross referencing reviews. Is that's
what I do in my free time. It's not scrolling
social media. It's looking at food and looking up food.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
I find that to be so for me. I like
the mystery. I like the idea of wondering what's on
the menu. I no, no, I don't read the Yelp
reviews or anything because I always figure they're paid for anyway.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
I'm okay, well, you know, I think the Google ones,
I think the Google ones are paid for. So I
just want to say that I think Google Google has
been infiltrated by the FEDS or something like. I'm like,
these are not real reviews. This is your friends and families. Yeah,
the ops are on Google. I'm leading you astray.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
See, I am suspicious. I am specious of reviews in general.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
I don't even do the Rotten Tomatoes. My husband he's like, oh,
rotten tomatoes, and like, I don't know, I can't subscribe.
I need to feel it. Yeah, there was a movie recently.
I won't name the movie, but it got you know,
really paan and I thought, I'm not listening to these people,
and then I saw them were like, I'm listening to
these people. Sometimes I go back and forth with it.
(05:50):
The restaurants. I tend to think I need to get
in there myself, especially you know we're in New York City. Yeah,
this is the town of the spin right, and so
I always worried about, well, that chef or that restaurant
group might be connected. And then they get the great
review and I go in, and a whole two hundred
dollars later, I'm leaving hungry, mad, broke, pissed off. You know.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Well, listen, that's why I have a hit list of
people that I am going to. That's Moses. I don't
even know if it was I think Moses, I feel,
you know, I don't want to blame him.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Well, he's over there playing Monopoly digital Monopoly, okay, oh no,
listen in our home. He I don't know what this
kid's going to be when he grows up, but he is.
You can't you can't beat him at Monopoly, forget about it.
He plays the digital version like now when I'm trying
to bribe him to behave a child. But we play Monopoly,
the board game in my home, and it's it's not
(06:48):
it's it's it's a warrior sport. It is not for
the faint of heart. So if you come over and
we love that, I would love to just know, well,
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
There are games that I lose at, which is most
all of them.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
See the gamer.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
I'm like, there are games. I lose all of them,
with the exception of anything that's like Mafia esque, Like
I can tell who's being deceptive? What's that?
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Give me a game?
Speaker 1 (07:10):
So like, do you know do you know the game
Mafia where it's like someone is like deemed the killer
or some like it's a group of people someone is
like labeled a killer. You might get your card. They
pass out cards and you're like, it's a villager or something. Yeah,
it's a it's a real game. Have you ever seen
the TV show Traders? No, okay, it's a little bit
like that. There are killers among us. It's there's a
mystery happening. Someone is a murderer or multiple people are
(07:33):
murderers in the group, and then the rest are say
villagers or civilians, and it's your job to guess who
is the murderer among Oh, and it's no, it's not
a board game. There's cards. There can be cards, or
you could just set it up yourself of your y.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
You're a game. Nights are way too advance. I connect four,
but I'm gonna lose, And so like I want to
know who's being discstive.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
More. Yes, I would be good at that and that alone.
Otherwise I'm losing. I've lost every game show I've ever
been on. It's embarrassing. I feel like people bring me
on to lose.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
But I'm yeah, I know. I was on Family Feud
with stephen A. Smith and and we won handily. In fact,
he got zero points. And I really learned a lot
about being a sore loser watching Stevin A for over
a year be bitter. So every time her I'm losing that.
I used to get upset what I lost. Now, like
(08:28):
after seeing him lose and literally disown his family because
he was so salty. Yeah, I said, Okay, I've gotta
be a better sport about these things. But I don't like,
you know, They've asked me to go on like with
a Celebrity Jeopardy and all that. I can't. I can't
go out like that.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
I've gone. I could not on Celebrity Jeopardy get the
buzzer to work for the life. And I'm not saying
mine was broken. I'm not claiming that, okay, but I'm
just claiming that whatever the buzzer.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Was not the hand eye coordination with me.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Like because basically, if you press too early, it locks
you out for a period of time. So by the
time while you're locked out, someone else is going to
hit the buzzer. And if you press too late, obviously
you just pressed too late, and so you're like trying
to get that exact right time to hit the buzzer.
That is a buzzered forward game. And I don't like
that I have to rely on technology gotcha to win
that one. But I would like to go back and
(09:17):
rectify things.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
I think we should demand a recount, repeat you deserve it.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
And honestly, let's just do something traditionally, put our hands
up or just call out the answer first.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
And why do you have to answer it in a question?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
And that shit was confusing because I don't watch regularly,
no offense. We love Jeopardy around here, but I don't.
I don't watch, so I would hit. When I would
get the buzzer first, I'd be like, okay, so I
have to put in a question for and then the time.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
I, oh, no, I don't need will force. Have you
seen some of this.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Bad at that I was really mad, had on a
little strapless dress.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
I gotta go.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
You don't look because the best of is the worst stuff,
and it's me embarrassing myself and my family.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
The fort thing gets me too, because I mean people
are like screaming out the answer from home and then
you go viral because there was like one letter missing
and for whatever your brain couldn't cut.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
So what did moment? I mean, I missed everything? So
first of all, everything, Okay, I'm there to like elevate people.
I'm at these gates. They invite me and it's like
she's gonna be a good loser. But I'm sick of it.
I want to win. So when I did is it cake?
Do you know that one?
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Okay, when I did is it cake?
Speaker 2 (10:32):
I guess the cake?
Speaker 1 (10:33):
No? I did. I was savage apparently though that's not
the place to be savage, that's the place to be supportive.
And I was like, I can tell that's not cake.
I don't care.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
So some people who they'd craft and they thought, oh god,
I'm gonna trick Eggo and you're like, yeah, I love frost.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
I was like, it's off, that's not and then I
was like, but I need I need people to know
that I went in there with baggage, so I had
I was on a like losing streaks.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Shure, there's a baker who gave up their dreams because
I was like, there's some person's like, well, I'm gonna
now We're gonna go to work at the bank. I'll
be the banker on Monopoly. Because my baking dreams just
went up on all I know, I.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Had to like rein it in. I think I was
all with Taran kill him who watches with his kids,
and He's like, you don't want to guess? And then
I was like, well, what's what's the point right if
I'm not going to give it my best.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
I have a rule. I don't like competition things I
won't Years ago, when I was in Chicago, Yeah, they
asked me to judge this little kid, Patgant, and I said,
actually I don't do that, but oh well it's a
great charity. I mean they kind of put the you
know the number on me and I agreed. And I
get there and these adorable little kids and I'm like, wait, no,
(11:42):
I can't judge kids. Are you kidding me? It was
near mutiny. All these like pageant moms were ready to
go off on my ass and I was like, okay,
wait a minite, waitit yeah, and I after that, I said,
you know, I don't have the ability to judge people
in that way that I don't do it, and I
can't because I'm not. I'm just like everybody's a way out.
(12:06):
See that's a good that's that makes you a good mom,
I think because I beat my son on thanks. No no, no,
no no. I'm like, I have the Michael George school
of thought. Okay, once you beat me, you know you're
a winner. My husband, he's a little different. He'll let
he'll let Moses come over here. I was like, listen,
I am not your father. You come here with you
go look straight to eye. You're gonna sit down.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Yeah, and he did that. Did your back was to
me while I was saying hello to Moses? And where
you give the eyes? You know what to do?
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Because he always wants to go to grown up things
with me. So I said, okay, we're gonna go to
Egoes podcast. Is that what's iheartrate? Can I put it
in Google Maps? Yes, you could put it in Google maps. Okay.
So then we get to the first of all, Lydia,
who's a part of our PR team, is wonderful. She
got the brunt of his acting out because she opened
the door. What was the driver opens the door and
(12:57):
he sees it and goes, I don't know and runs
passport like Lydia was like, like the Bakers when you
rejected their dreams. She was like, I'm cute, what's wrought
this ty kid? But then he apologized and warmed up,
and then he got on the elevator. So yeah, so
he's all, he's all good right now. But he likes
to go to adult things, okay, and that, you know,
(13:18):
so interesting. I didn't have Moses until I was forty
eight years old, and now I just celebrated my fifty
fifth birthday and he's six now, thank you, my darling.
And so it's so fascinating because I'm always in the
throes of this challenge of wanting him to see what
I do, because I tell people at my old job before,
I was like, oh, you know, I would have been
(13:39):
the only non mom on that ensemble cast that I
was on. And I remember an extra woman saying to me,
you know that I wasn't relatable. She didn't say because
of the motherhood, but I know what she was alluding to.
And so I'm very sensitive to talking about motherhood and
(14:00):
because I was, I've been a non mom for far longer,
you know, than actually being a mom, And now that
I have him, I want him to see this part
of my life and understand that, you know, whether you
work in or out of the home or whatever your
journey is, is your journey. For me, the journey is
working outside of the home, and I'm being a part
of it. And he's the inspiration for you know, my
(14:22):
children's book, and he's also on our show a lot.
And I want him to understand people are going to
come over and say hi to you. You're gonna be
curious because you're a part of my life.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
And then suddenly I feel guilty because we just had
like Jonie Turner Smith on it. She doesn't show her
kid's picture, She'll say her name to show a picture
of me. Moll, I'm like all over this, terrible mom
Jesus bringing him to a podcast.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
I always wonder how parents make that decision. I totally
get the decision to not share your children's identity. In
my mind, I'd like to think I would be that
kind of parent who wouldn't share children, my children's identity
in my mind, but like my nieces. Their pictures are
all over my Instagram.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
I'm like, they're just too precious, because it's it's a
normal sensation to want to share the things that make
us happy, right, so, whether it's a food restaurant or
me and not to create a child with a meal,
but be cute. But it's you know, even though we
live our lives in the public eye as we do,
I think it's only natural to want to share the
(15:25):
things because you're still human, right, You're still ego when
you go home and I go and we're still who
we are, and even in this format of conversation, you're
exactly as you were the day I met you, and
I hope I'm the same. And so it's like you're
naturally inclined to share the things you love, and social
media makes you want to share the things you love.
And so with my son, originally I had a plan.
(15:48):
I was like, Okay, I'm going to share him for
the first year, right because kind of babies look like babies,
And I said, once he becomes a more distinct looking person,
I won't share, and he's clearly, very distinctly, but I
just kept sharing. And then he's you know, he's a
part of the show. And when I go out to
the show, every you know, So we shoot three days
(16:09):
a week, two shows a day, one hundred and seventy
shows a season. So our season starts in September, goes
through May. And you know, ninety nine percent of the people,
whether they are moms or not, they ask how's Moses,
And so it's always a you know, it's thing. But
I've had, you know, a couple of times where I've
had to wrangle people in but for the most part,
(16:30):
you know, I think people understand he's still a kid
and he's here with me. But when he goes to
the airport, they're like, there's Moses. He's like walking through
like John Travolta. He's walking through the airport like I
love it.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
So he likes it. He likes being recognized.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I think he Well, he told me that today. He goes,
I'm kinda shy and people with blonde hair. I don't
like seeing people hide it people with blonde hair, And
I was like, they're freaking what, So well, he just
made it up. He goes like on Spidey, it's related
it to some villain.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
I was fight.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
I'll say, well, that's weird, and I said, well, so
it has blonde hair and goes well, I actually don't
like her anymore because they go to the site. So
we have a rule. I said, listen, you you have
to at least look them in the eye and say hello.
You don't have to do anything beyond that, you know,
because I do want to have a child who has
autonomy and choice right and also balancing stranger danger. You
(17:25):
might know him, but he doesn't know you, right, not you,
And so what I tried, that's your boy. But what
I try to do is make sure that he's he
is able to We live in New York City, right,
I grew up in a teeny tiny Luling, Texas population
one thousand and half of those are my relatives. I
want him to be able to navigate in this world
(17:47):
with confidence. And part of that is when someone says
hello to you, being able to look someone in the eyes. Hello,
how are you stand in your space? And so I
say to him, you know that's your space. You say hello,
and you can keep it moving. You're not obli to
then let them interview you about your school or anything else.
But you look someone in the eye and you say hello.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
That's a beautiful way to do it, I feel like,
because it's you're striking that balance of having the autonomy
having a boundary, but also these are manners.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
These are manners, right, and it's true, and I want
him to understand boundaries. It's something that you know, here
I am in my life. I think the biggest learning
curve in the last probably four years of my life
really had surrounded boundaries and really not only setting boundaries
for myself, but even with I have about one hundred
(18:34):
and fifty employees, and I used to be I mean,
I email you all night long and be like, they'll
see it in the morning, secretly hoping you see that
guy out, you know. And I really had to establish
boundaries and starting this show because I was excited and
I had so much at stake and I needed this
show to work. But that didn't mean that it had
(18:55):
to come at the expense of others. You know, if
I my name's on the door, if I want to
stay up twenty four hours a day, I'm muna stay
up twenty four hours a day, and learning that I
cannot signal that expectation of others, right, And even though
I wasn't verbally saying it, you know, you can do
things that make people feel like, well, if I don't
give that much time, she doesn't think that I'm doing
(19:16):
a good job. So I've been very mindful of with
my team saying you know, I might I've gone did
two shows and go to the d the night we
saw each other, and then came back and write, that's me.
I'm not expecting that of you. And in return, like,
if you're behind, you can't just be calling me the
middle of dinner with my kid either, you know what
I mean? So like establishing those those respectful boundaries that
(19:40):
still allow for productive workspace and also just personal boundaries.
I mean my mom. I had a friend years ago
told me, like, you know, as time goes on your
relationship with your parents, you'll have to set boundaries.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
And I'm like, no, my mama, she doesn't do boundaries.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
What my mother? My mother's We have cameras in my
son's room. My mother is linked to the camera to
which she presses her button from her home in Texas,
and she's like, what y'all doing? I'm like, my mom.
My husband's in this boxer and he's like, your mom
is like hid your mama? We're talking to us.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Later.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
And she was like, so I was looking in on
the camera. What were y'all talking about?
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Mom? My?
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Mom boundary?
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Now if you tried to tell her like, hey, we
need to establish a boundary, how would she respond to that?
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Honestly, I wouldn't be in this chair. No, no, no, no,
I will say, I'll say, Mom, really like you know, okay.
I was like, I'll just kind of like Jim like,
come on, Mom, really really?
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Now, you said you wanted Moses to have a sense
of identity on autonomy. You want him to have a
sense of identity and autonomy. Do you feel like you
had that as a kid? Oh?
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Absolutely so. Even though my mom was definitely what they
call the f around and find out kind of parents,
she was not a gentle parent. My mother had me
when she was nineteen years old and she was a
single mom before she married my stepfather, who I referred
to as they the dad got meant for me to have.
And what I mean by that he you know, it's
not my biological father, but he was meant God wanted
(21:18):
me to have somebody shepherd me yea and helped my mother.
And that is the person that was brought into our lives.
I grew up very much. I was allowed to run, jump, kickbox,
I mean like I did it all I was. And
I wasn't necessarily quote unquote tomboo, because I don't even
know what that means. I was more just adventurous. I
(21:40):
mean I was Nancy Drew one day, and then I
was wonder Woman the next day, and then I was
like the invisible character hiding under you know. I was
allowed to have a huge imagination. I think that's helped
me obviously later creatively. I got in a lot of
trouble in school, a lot of I went to Catholic school.
(22:01):
I was suspended. Gosh, I was probably suspended maybe three
or four times.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Three or four time. What's the worst thing you did
to get suspended? Honestly, honest, honestly. So my family did not.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Have the My parents and family did not put up
with bullying. And so my parents and family would say,
if someone hits you, take them out, like just just
go in and so.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Don't start nothing, but start finishing, finish.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
So I would not necessarily tell my son that today.
But I grew up in a in an environment where
I was the only child in the home because my
step siblings were a little older, and my brother came later,
and so I was a target. I was a target
because you know, my mom had me and you know,
track and clarinet, and I was this. I was like
this a little show kid right in some ways. And
(22:57):
when you're an only child, you're primed for others to
come at you. And I had an issue with some
kids once and I ran all the way home just
out of breath. I mean they were chasing me. It
was like a Gooney's gone back, that's probably And I
(23:18):
got home, and I've heard other people have a similar
situation in their lives. I have heard other people talk
about it. My mom basically opened the door and she's like,
what is going on? And I'm like, get out of
the way. They go kill us all, kill us all.
And my mom's like who, And I'm like the bully
that they're like. And my mother said, you're gonna go
out there and you're gonna either fight me or fight them,
(23:39):
because you can't have this. You got to stand up
for yourself. And after that, I had a low tolerance
for bullies, so much so that I became like the
neighborhood avenger like when everybody was like, there was this kid,
go figure, I'm from the South. There's this kid. His
name was Booker T. And he was a bully. No,
he was not going to be any more a leader.
(24:00):
He might be leading a prison ride right now, but.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Could end up very different. And it did, and he did.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
And he was painting the butt and he was picking
on everybody, and he was taking these bikes. He was
just as a jerk in our neighborhood. And by then
I'd gotten the reputation for like standing up to the
evils of the world. And my dad always drilled in
my head, he's like all of my children, you're the
kid for right. And that's something that I grew up with,
that that that tone always that my grandfather, my aunt,
(24:29):
my mother, and my father always felt that I was
a reasonable person. Even as a child, I had this
I guess, well, let's look at both sides. Okay, my
mom is surprised, I'm not an a turn.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
I was gonna say, were you meant to be alloy?
Speaker 2 (24:43):
My mother says it all the time. But you know,
the kid came. They all came to me like Booker
T is just grgure And there we start marching like
I'm a little black normal ray, you know, and I
have all and I handled him.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
You handled Booker T. Boy?
Speaker 2 (24:59):
A boy? Do you say that? My father? I came
home like Punky Brewster. My hair's all out now, ponytail's unraveled.
And I came home and my dad was like, what
happened here? You know, because my dad was in the
military and he's like what he sees all these kids,
And I'm like, like Rocky coming back home after I
like handed his whole ant, and my dad said what happened?
(25:22):
And I said, you know, Booker T's been picking on everyone,
and we're fed up with him. We're tired of it.
And so I went and I beat him up, and
my father said, you're twelve. Now you're gonna have to stop.
At some point. Boys are bigger and they're stronger, yeah,
and you're not. And then I said to my dad, Well,
my my uncle O SI his brother, I go. Uncle
OC was right there watching. My Dad's like, oh my
(25:46):
I snitched out O. God rest his soul. But yeah,
So I grew up, like you know, and so later
in life, I'm in high school and I, you know,
I was well liked you know, I think. So I
was in drama class. You know, I had great my
friends were They used to basically make fun of the
fact that I had the wide range of friends. You know,
(26:08):
this is like what early nineties. So I had two
friends who were gay, and you know, back then it
wasn't as supportive. And I had a friend who I
had experienced homelessness and his you know, I won't say same,
but anyway, he was one of the kids in my
class because I went to what was referred to as
a magnet school.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Okay, everyone had to apply, everyone had.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
To apply, and so these were kids from various backgrounds,
but all had tested in and so some of us
it was like Fame school almost and just some odd characters.
And then there's me and you know, and I'm blended in.
And there were some kids who were not in our
program who were not so nice. And there was a
girl in particular, and I'm like in tenth grade and
(26:47):
I had this. I will never fore this is crazy.
I can remember this. I had a denim dress my
mom had just gotten me and I thought so cute
at the lunch table, and she came and dowscrape juice
all over me, and it was like something from the
Mean Girl's film It's crazy, I know, right, do me right?
Regina doubtst me like or like bringing on bringing, and
(27:10):
I gave her the booker t okay, the book. I
got kicked out of school and I got sent to
even though I was even though I was defending myself.
Back then, this was the beginning of zero tolerance because
bullying had become Now we talk about it much more openly.
This was the beginning of the national conversation of bullying
(27:30):
and how pre social media, but it had taken a
stringhold and it was for whatever my school. It was
a lot of it with young women, which is why
I'm so mindful of supporting other women now because for
some reason, just at that particular time, I don't know
what was in the social zitegeist, but there was a
lot of mean girl behavior. And then I got sent
(27:54):
to this like school, like off campus school.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
An alternative school.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
My parents were really I had to go for like
two months, oh boy, And it was like when they
had started cracking down and then later came back and
that was fine, but.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Any part of you, like you guys told me to
defend myself. It's become a part of my.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
My mom did not care. My mom was like, what
time do I need to pick you up from school
to take you to the other school. She didn't care
because my mother felt like academically I was going to
be okay, social emotional, I was always allowed to talk
about my feelings and wonderfully supportive. But my mom is
an educator and she has a very low tolerance for bullying,
and she grew up on a farm and just you know,
(28:36):
kindness was a very big part of my family. Or
advocating and rallying for other people. That was always a
thing in my home. As I said, my father who
raised me was in the military. It's two purple hearts
twenty eight years. So I just grew up around folks
who were the kind of people like ten toes down,
defend yourself, and whoever you came to the party with,
(28:58):
you leave, And so that was always something and I
think with even with my son to this day, those
are tones and and and and core beliefs like I
have the same best friend from age five. Wow, all
of my crew pretty much says a couple of people
who had to get kicked out here thanks to the grass.
(29:20):
But for the most part. You know, I'm still with
the date I came with.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
No.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Wow, that's incredible. That is amazing. Oh, I don't know.
I think people are like that. No. I was just
listening to someone on the podcast saying that every seven
years as an adult, you basically make new friends, Like.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
There are some new people that like listen, when I
met you, it was like moth to flames, yeah, and
I'm like, not, I'm socially awkward. So I'm like, I
got there and it was an event that they didn't
let us bring a plus one, and generally dal I
generally decline things where I can't bring a plus one
a because I think they discriminate against single people. It's like,
you can bring your husband, Yeah, I want to bring
(29:58):
my friend.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
So I tend to say no to because I've been
scorn for being single for so long and so now
I'm married and I want to bring my husband because
he's socially awkward. I'm like, with us ruined my reputation
for being cool, and so I accepted that because it
was immigreed and it was supposed to be this great,
you know, dinner with women who've been advocating and supporting
(30:22):
each other, and it turned out to be exactly what it.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Was to be.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Yes, loved it. I walk over to the bar and
I saw you. And that's how truly, I truly did
feel like I was like, hello.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
Hey, and I turned around and go me, I love
that hair.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
I mean, well we're like next to you know, talking.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
About love and life everything. Oh my goodness, So you
because I saw you and I was at that Okay,
that event, first of all.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Was incredible efence.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
I was telling someone after it, I'm like a lot
of times, I don't know if you feel the same
way you get invited to something that it's like it's
for women and it doesn't feel warm, and it can
feel kind of mean girlish if I'm being honest, But
I am a curious It's such an incredible room, and
I mean I think that room was such a reflection
of her because it felt warm. But also the conversation
(31:08):
we had that night was like so empowering and so insightful.
But how it started is I said I have when
you said hide, I have to tell tamor in this.
So I heard Tamar and tell a story on her show. Yes, okay,
I'm telling you I'm the button. If you do one,
I'll do one. Okay. So the jeans are now forming
(31:31):
to you. It's getting warm.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Okay, I cannot cry. I can cross like. That's about
as far as I got. Okay.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
I know that feeling though, when something fits three weeks
ago and then you you have a little too much
fun if you will, and it's like, oh, these fit
like a glove, and now they's like not a glove,
like a something.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
I was gonna say, you were right here, so okay,
So so I walked when we were talking at the party. Yah,
I got to tell you. I heard you tell the
story on your show about the parasailing accident you were
in were you almost drowned and your fiance at the
time did not even flinch to begin to try to
save you. And in that moment, you're like, I need
(32:15):
to break up with this man.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
And I did, and I did. It was many years
ago in Cosameo, Mexico, parasailing and the parasale broke and
I had a life jacket on flew out to see splat.
They circled the speedboat back to come and get me,
and he just looked over at me while these two
people who had been speaking English but then suddenly could
(32:38):
only speak Spanish jumped in to rescue me. No, they
were like, we're not getting sued. They jumped in though
at least saved me, proved me. And I'm terrified, and
I just looked. I remember looking up at that man saying,
as soon as we get back to Chicago, and I
said it like that ch cag chgo it's over.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
You Did you say it to him or this.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Was yeah, I said it in my Facebook. I mean
I said he saw it. He had to okay, he
had to have Okay, it was pure. It's a mix
of disappointment m hm, also though like this is who
you are?
Speaker 1 (33:17):
You know, It's like all.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Of these things at once. I'm sure he saw because
I was going through it. I'm like, first disbelief, Yeah,
then you're like, wait, this is the guy that I
might marry Mary, And then it's like, ah, this is
who you are, okay, and then it's like okay.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Yeah right. It's one of those moments where you learn
a lot about a person in a moment of chaos
or tragedy. Like they say, when you break up with someone,
the way they behave during a breakup is like who
they actually are.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
But you had something I.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
Know when I heard your story, I know, first of all, wait,
how long had you two have been together, Tammer, because
this is engaged.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Oh my gosh, that is yours to be a couple
of years.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Oh wow, okay, brave and bold. But it was clear
to you and you broke up as soon as you got.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Back to that got offed airlines flight whatever that was.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Because Chicago is the Hubs, that's how we know it
was united. But my I was in a relationship and
I had an incident in Lake Como where.
Speaker 4 (34:15):
I beautiful like George Clooney's lake. Yes, George Clue, like
a dreamy dream dreamers. I mean, the company was not great.
The company was the person that's like, but it's.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Lake Como right and bucket lists and it's stunning, stunning, stunning.
I almost drowned, okay, but like four Norwegian guys save
me because they teach them, apparently, how to swim from age.
It's like part of the school system there, which we
need to do that, and we really should. We should.
Really a couple of petition.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
Contes do it. It's on their physical education.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Should I'm sorry, I'm getting to save every time I
want to run for president. We need to be teaching
our youth how to swim. That's my platform. But anyway,
I almost drown. These five Norwegian guys came to say me.
But the way that the person I was with at
the time, just like there was this weird tension as
I was about to drown, not because he was going
(35:11):
to try to drown me, let me be very clear,
but it was like, oh, you're not really going to
try to help me.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
In the way that you could like immediately, and that
a gender assignment. That is, I am with someone or
something that I love. That someone or something I love
is in Harold m h and my instinct.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
My instinct is to like I need to fix this,
I need to protect this person, which is an interesting
thing because that was something we would often have a
conflict about, is like I want to feel like my
partner their instinct is to protect me. So I saw
that clip randomly, Look at what God did. I saw
that clip randomly after that vacation, like weeks, a couple
(35:55):
months after, maybe maybe months, because that was it was
a summer vacation July. I saw it and I felt convicted.
Like if you've ever been to church and the pastors
preaching and they're like they're talking to me, they know,
how do they know? Okay? Well, I'm watching the clip
and I was like, where did this come from? Why
does Tamar know? Tammar is telling me I need to
break up with this man? So I broke up with
(36:16):
someone because of Tamer and Hall, y'all let the record stay, yeah,
your mom, your mom did it. You're a heartbreaker, booth
your mom, your mom broke the heart, not me, Okay.
And and so I was like, I have to tell
you this because it stuck with me, and I didn't
do it right away. I didn't do it when we
got to Chicago because I didn't go to Chicago. I
(36:39):
wasn't even I wasn't in Chicago, and I wasn't sure,
but I had this. There were like a number of
things cause you know, you know, they said, like, you
know when it's the right person. I feel like you,
I don't how do you feel about that?
Speaker 2 (36:49):
I don't know if I believe that.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Oh, I need to talk to about this.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
I think I think circumstances allow you to know if
they're the right person. I don't know, if I've never
had a gut feeling, I've like mind my husband and
we met right when I had when I was let
go from my job, and I was the first time
in my life since I was fourteen years old that
I'd been unemployed. I've worked my entire life. My first
(37:14):
job was at Toys r Us. I worked in the
stuffed animal section and worked my way up to cashier.
So I've had a job my entire life because I
needed that independence, and I begged my dad to let
me have the independence of work. So so much of
my identity was aligned with the independence at work gives.
I can buy what I want, go where I want,
you know, blah blah blah. I begged to work when
I was fourteen two, and my dad refused for a
(37:35):
long time, and finally he gave in. And back then
they didn't have any computers because it was one hundred
years ago, and I forged my age and they were
like Toys was like, come.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Up and they are defunct now, so we can't even
they can't do anything.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Child labor lost Toys r Us. But you know, I
was always looking for independence, and so now I'm out
of work for the very first time in my life
and my self esteem is managing and all these different
things that go along when you've lost some thing that
you think is a dream. And so I ended up.
I known Stephen for some time from Afar, and then
I ran into him on It was this funny sergeony
(38:10):
on a plane. There was my ex and his new
tall Russian girlfriend sitting behind me.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
Not the ex.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
Set, a different one, another one, and she was a
beautiful one, because you always picture you're going to see
your ex and they're gonna be like with one person
with one two you know.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
A girl's girl, and could be like, no, she was bad.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
She was bad. She was bad as hell, and so
I'm like, holy moly, this gorgeous woman. And then he
and I didn't even want him, but now she And
then I run into Stephen and I used him as
a decoy. I was gonna say quick, I was like no,
I was like, just I'm gonna just talk to that.
That was great to see you. But as time went on,
we'd run into each other. And then I had that
(38:51):
situation happen with my prior job, and then I finally
was able to like to see things I feel even
though I hope in my heart. I'm a great friend.
I realized how much time I was focused on work
and not my friendships. And I called these things my
love ships, and they fall under a lot of things, right,
just things I enjoy, right, just taking a respital, walking
(39:12):
around without responding to two hundred calls from work, and
just walking New York. I remember when I first moved
to New York. I could walk from Central Park all
the way down to Battery Park and my eyes were
so wide open. Now I'm doing it, and I'm looking
at my phone because he's working at it. And those
are important things, don't get me wrong. Because you got
to put in the numbers to get the score that
you need, and I get that. But now I didn't
(39:33):
have the gig. I was able to, like kind of
focus on relationships. So I'm going back to the core.
I don't know if you for me anyway. It was
a gut. It was watching him in these circumstances with
me right rooting me on as I'm writing the template
for the Tammeron Hall Show, and I was watching you know,
MERV Griffin and dinersh. Everyone always thinks you go straight
to Oprah. I'm like no, I went to I studied,
(39:56):
Oh my god, so much daytime TV and even down
to how the seats would be together. I'm sketching and
I'm going to these rooms and they're like, you got
a whole sketch. And so he was there. So it
was the circumstances and him rooting for me, and me
feeling that that's what because on paper, I wasn't planning
(40:17):
on being with a five foot four Jewish guy from
the Bronx. Wasn't not and not just that's a bad thing.
I feel like I've won the lottery here. But it
was the circumstances because I think I've had relationships where
I thought, oh my god, yes, and then you're on
the side of the boat dying versus you know, putting
(40:40):
in the work and watching someone root for you, watching
you know that feeling of God, this person really wants
me to win.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
And they're for you, and as.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
A result, they become for.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
You, and that's beautiful, and that's actually a word. You
could have been a lawyer. You're currently an award winning
talk show host, but I'm just gonna say you could
also be a preacher, because I'm just saying that's beautifulchurch.
This has been incredible. I you are. I just am like,
(41:16):
I'm so honored to know you, my heart. I stand.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
I hope the next time you are in trouble and
you're about to drown and lay como at the beautiful
hand of my because I'm gonna be on the vacation
with you. Okay, No, I can't tell you. I am
so blown away by your extreme talent, but also and
dropped at gorgeous. But you you have this incredible energy
(41:43):
that is illuminating. I truly think I meet a lot
of people all the time, and I'm very fortunate in
that way to have lived this very big life, but
you stand out in this way. That's just it is.
It's your You know when people say breath of fresh air,
you are a freaking breath of fresh air. That's why,
(42:05):
in a monsoon you I brought my whole little six
year old and let him play nine hours of Monopoly.
Over there, he's Jonathan Height, the guy who says no
digital fri kids. Jonathan Hide somewhere is hovering over me,
judging me as a mom.
Speaker 1 (42:23):
So you are.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
I think that you make entertainment so special and I
just love you. I could not love you more. I'm
a fan.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
Thank you. I'm like, I ge't words.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
Are you are my Beyonce?
Speaker 1 (42:37):
What that is? Tam Tameran, thank you so much. I
am so grateful for you. And honestly, if we had
more time, I would tell all the people and maybe
I will on the outro when I record it, when
you grow, I'll tell all the people all the beautiful
things you said to me that evening and how inspiring
and empowering and just authentic and like right here on
(42:58):
the ground but also in the sky, which I think
is a hard balance to strike. You are incredible. Thank
you for doing this. May I ask if you will
give a listener advice as well? Of course, Okay, we're
gonna get advice from We're gonna get a listener's request
for advice.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
Okay, Hi, I'm in middle school. My social studies teacher
keeps asking really stupid questions that are really poorly worded
and marking all of the kids answers wrong. How do
I politely tell her this without getting in trouble?
Speaker 2 (43:28):
Thanks?
Speaker 1 (43:30):
Ooh, tarm It, I'm letting you out.
Speaker 2 (43:33):
That's a funny thing because we just had this conversation
about being direct or clarifying, like is there a difference? Right?
I think? So, I think, well, how old? How old
are you.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
In middle school? I'm gonna say between twelve twelve.
Speaker 2 (43:49):
I you know, first of all, I think you have
to be polite, and then you have to understand that
this person controls your grades. So I believe in with kindness.
I think you say, thank you so much, missus Jones
for that feedback. But if you can help me understand it,
I think I can get what you want. So you
(44:12):
want to you want to work it right. You know,
it's like missy Elliotson, good.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
Work it, reverse it.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
So you got to you gotta flip it and reverse it, okay,
because if you go in hot like this is stupid,
what do you think You're not going to get anywhere?
So you want to turn on the charm. I think
you say, you know, I want to understand why you
marked it up this way because I want to make
you proud of me because you're my favorite offeness teacher
(44:41):
in the class or in the school. Oh and I
want you to be happy.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
Oh my goodness. And I want to Yeah, I want
to make it. I want to make this.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
I want to get I want to get it right
the next time. So like, let's erase that she is
quote unquote doing a bad job, and let's reverse it.
Because in life, one of the things you're going to
have to understand. It's I don't know if you like sports,
but whether you are the quarterback of your team or
on any team, or at some point in work, you're
going to lead people. And the easiest way to get
(45:13):
people to do what you want is to make them
feel appreciated. And so the skill I want you to
learn now is one that will make sure your success
the rest of your life. How do you get people
to bend to your will? You do it through kindness
and making them feel that they're important. And she is important.
(45:34):
She controls your race. Yes, absolutely, So I think you
have to just say thank you. I just want to
understand because I want you to be proud and I
want to give you what you want from me.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
I think that is perfect. I simply will not add
to it another word from you, misstakeing.
Speaker 2 (45:51):
But I've now taught you to be manipulative. So that's
a different story. And Tammeran is officially saying manipulation a
little bit of it, but it's okay because you're your
heart is good. Yes, your heart is.
Speaker 1 (46:01):
Good, because we can't have you like disrespecting the teacher.
Now you're with you.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
My mom was a teacher. You can't disrespect your teacher,
but you can, though connect with her and understand that
in respecting her, she may not be as clear as
she thinks she is. And I want to be able
to give you what you want.
Speaker 1 (46:21):
I think that's beautiful. That is sound advice, sage wisdom.
If you ask me, Tamrin, thank you so much for
being here. I love you, Love you, love you. That
was an absolutely delightful conversation with miss timerin Hall. If
I can say so myself, she is just so wise,
(46:42):
so brilliant, and honestly. At that event where I met her,
she was just as delightful as she was today on
the podcast. Spoke with so much insight and wisdom and clarity,
and I just was like holding onto her every word.
I'm so glad she was a guest today. I am
immensely grateful for her. And how Moses You're gonna see
(47:03):
you've seen the picture of Moses at this point, just
an adorable, sweet, precious soul, so happy that Tamerine was here. Bye,
Thanks Dad. Is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money
Players and iHeart Podcasts. I'm Your Host AEGO wodem Our
producer is Kevin Bartelt, and our executive producer is Matt
Appadaka
My guest today is Emmy award winning talk show hosts,
New York Times best selling author and host of The
Tamaron Hall Show, Tamern Hall. Hello, Hello, beautiful, Oh my goodness,
I'm good. I'm so happy to see you.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
I am so happy to see you. I haven't seen you.
It's been two weeks, but it feels like two years.
The last time, we were sitting at the bar looking
like a was it looking for mister Goodbar? Remember that movie?
Speaker 1 (00:33):
No I'm older than Okay, No, I don't know that.
I was going to pretend for a second.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
I was like, we were brown girls Sex in the
City version.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
It was giving that.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
It was giving sex in the city. We were at
what was it Rafts?
Speaker 1 (00:43):
We were at Rafts. Yes, and it's such a cute,
little intimate spot. I end up having dinner there two days, lady, Yes,
and it was as good as I remember. But you
know what, I love to eat out. That's my main problem.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Really do you cook it all? I mean, okay, I'm.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Over here, like, oh my goodness, I'm getting to interview
Tammern Hall.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
So nervous.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
We're switching rolls today.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
We're super nervy. Are you nerve for too well, my
son Moses is here, but yes, today they're out of school. Yes,
and my childcare situation crumbled, like my relaxer my hair
right now, your looks grand because it's a monsoon outside.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
It's crazy outside.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
And then I said, oh, I'm gonna put on some
jeans and this cool jacket. And I love vintage shopping.
And I have these jeans that I bought. They're from
nineteen seventies, nineteen seventy Levi's I buy a lot from
the seventies. That was the year I was born. And
I don't know, like three four weeks ago they fit
And today it's like the Beyonce song. If you don't
jump to put your jeans on, you don't feel my pain.
So I'm slightly leaned back.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I see how you're doing a little subject to slip
the way and listen. If you decide to unbutton that
top button.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
I may not make the decision. The button may decide,
and then your poor team over here, somebody might lose
an eye. So I hope you have insurance because it's
going down.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Okay, listen, I think they have insurance. If they don't
just run, just run through the door by, change your name,
change the name of the show, everything. And I the
other day, getting in the car on my way to
a dinner, my button popped on my blazer. But it
was a blazer that's just like it's one button and
it's giving snatch. But I was in Paris for like
(02:17):
two weeks and I just had just come back the
day of kind of living a fabulous.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
I was my button popped, and you know, I mean no,
I wasn't in you know, Queens when it happened. I
was in Paris. If your button's gonna pop off anywhere,
I would prefer.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
To be in Paris. But the thing is it popped
in New York. It did pop in New York. I
had just come back from Paris, where I was indulging.
I was eating anything I could put my eyes on,
any and everything. Oh okay, hold on my favorite thing
that I ate in Paris, Dan Dan noodles from this
chef Keith, who was doing a residency at this restaurant.
He lives in Toronto. But they like host rotating chefs
(02:53):
really and I was hesitant to do the Dan Dan
noodles because I like them, but I don't always like them.
And he insisted, and I was like okay, and then
he was like, we can give you a half portion.
We do half portions, and I was like, yeah, let's
do the half portion because I'm not sure.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
And then you so mad as hell.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
You know.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
I have experienced that where I just went to Kabawa,
which is on the Lower East Side of New York,
and the chef is really celebrated right now. It's part
of the Momofuku chain, but it's like their first thing,
and he's done a Caribbean influence menu there and goat
is one of my favorite things to eat. Mind really,
(03:31):
I had no idea it's one of my favorite things.
And he has a curry goat with this amazing rote.
It's all elevated. You know. He had one of the
most successful restaurants in Sydney, Australia, the chef Paul Carmichael,
and now he's here in New York and he had
this goat and it was like this little bit and
I wanted to like some more.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
I think a little bit more.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Nothing works and you're like, oh, I don't think I'm
gonna like.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
It, and you're like, I love it and I need it.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
No, I have food dreams, right, do you get that?
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Like, oh yeah, I'll.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Leave and and that I will dream about the meal
that I had and it's just like insatiable and I
need it again.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Oh yeah, I wait, but okay, So I'm always looking
at menus. I'm always planning my next meal. On the
way here today, I was like, so when I'm up
in the area of the studio, what will I eat?
Because I'm like, oh, a new area. I don't usually
hang out up here. I was like on Google, like,
what's up there to eat?
Speaker 2 (04:22):
That? That's just interesting. You say that. My cousin Erica,
she's like my sister. She happens to be an only child.
We're cousins, but we're very much like sisters. And she
will look at the menu before we go to the restaurant,
and she'll decide before we go in the restaurant what
she's going to eat.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
You know, that's wild. I just I want every meal
I have to be amazing. And so I am a
kind of similar and like cross referencing reviews. Is that's
what I do in my free time. It's not scrolling
social media. It's looking at food and looking up food.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
I find that to be so for me. I like
the mystery. I like the idea of wondering what's on
the menu. I no, no, I don't read the Yelp
reviews or anything because I always figure they're paid for anyway.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
I'm okay, well, you know, I think the Google ones,
I think the Google ones are paid for. So I
just want to say that I think Google Google has
been infiltrated by the FEDS or something like. I'm like,
these are not real reviews. This is your friends and families. Yeah,
the ops are on Google. I'm leading you astray.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
See, I am suspicious. I am specious of reviews in general.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (05:29):
I don't even do the Rotten Tomatoes. My husband he's like, oh,
rotten tomatoes, and like, I don't know, I can't subscribe.
I need to feel it. Yeah, there was a movie recently.
I won't name the movie, but it got you know,
really paan and I thought, I'm not listening to these people,
and then I saw them were like, I'm listening to
these people. Sometimes I go back and forth with it.
(05:50):
The restaurants. I tend to think I need to get
in there myself, especially you know we're in New York City. Yeah,
this is the town of the spin right, and so
I always worried about, well, that chef or that restaurant
group might be connected. And then they get the great
review and I go in, and a whole two hundred
dollars later, I'm leaving hungry, mad, broke, pissed off. You know.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
Well, listen, that's why I have a hit list of
people that I am going to. That's Moses. I don't
even know if it was I think Moses, I feel,
you know, I don't want to blame him.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Well, he's over there playing Monopoly digital Monopoly, okay, oh no,
listen in our home. He I don't know what this
kid's going to be when he grows up, but he is.
You can't you can't beat him at Monopoly, forget about it.
He plays the digital version like now when I'm trying
to bribe him to behave a child. But we play Monopoly,
the board game in my home, and it's it's not
(06:48):
it's it's it's a warrior sport. It is not for
the faint of heart. So if you come over and
we love that, I would love to just know, well,
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
There are games that I lose at, which is most
all of them.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
See the gamer.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
I'm like, there are games. I lose all of them,
with the exception of anything that's like Mafia esque, Like
I can tell who's being deceptive? What's that?
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Give me a game?
Speaker 1 (07:10):
So like, do you know do you know the game
Mafia where it's like someone is like deemed the killer
or some like it's a group of people someone is
like labeled a killer. You might get your card. They
pass out cards and you're like, it's a villager or something. Yeah,
it's a it's a real game. Have you ever seen
the TV show Traders? No, okay, it's a little bit
like that. There are killers among us. It's there's a
mystery happening. Someone is a murderer or multiple people are
(07:33):
murderers in the group, and then the rest are say
villagers or civilians, and it's your job to guess who
is the murderer among Oh, and it's no, it's not
a board game. There's cards. There can be cards, or
you could just set it up yourself of your y.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
You're a game. Nights are way too advance. I connect four,
but I'm gonna lose, And so like I want to
know who's being discstive.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
More. Yes, I would be good at that and that alone.
Otherwise I'm losing. I've lost every game show I've ever
been on. It's embarrassing. I feel like people bring me
on to lose.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
But I'm yeah, I know. I was on Family Feud
with stephen A. Smith and and we won handily. In fact,
he got zero points. And I really learned a lot
about being a sore loser watching Stevin A for over
a year be bitter. So every time her I'm losing that.
I used to get upset what I lost. Now, like
(08:28):
after seeing him lose and literally disown his family because
he was so salty. Yeah, I said, Okay, I've gotta
be a better sport about these things. But I don't like,
you know, They've asked me to go on like with
a Celebrity Jeopardy and all that. I can't. I can't
go out like that.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
I've gone. I could not on Celebrity Jeopardy get the
buzzer to work for the life. And I'm not saying
mine was broken. I'm not claiming that, okay, but I'm
just claiming that whatever the buzzer.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Was not the hand eye coordination with me.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Like because basically, if you press too early, it locks
you out for a period of time. So by the
time while you're locked out, someone else is going to
hit the buzzer. And if you press too late, obviously
you just pressed too late, and so you're like trying
to get that exact right time to hit the buzzer.
That is a buzzered forward game. And I don't like
that I have to rely on technology gotcha to win
that one. But I would like to go back and
(09:17):
rectify things.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
I think we should demand a recount, repeat you deserve it.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
And honestly, let's just do something traditionally, put our hands
up or just call out the answer first.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
And why do you have to answer it in a question?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
And that shit was confusing because I don't watch regularly,
no offense. We love Jeopardy around here, but I don't.
I don't watch, so I would hit. When I would
get the buzzer first, I'd be like, okay, so I
have to put in a question for and then the time.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
I, oh, no, I don't need will force. Have you
seen some of this.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
Bad at that I was really mad, had on a
little strapless dress.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
I gotta go.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
You don't look because the best of is the worst stuff,
and it's me embarrassing myself and my family.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
The fort thing gets me too, because I mean people
are like screaming out the answer from home and then
you go viral because there was like one letter missing
and for whatever your brain couldn't cut.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
So what did moment? I mean, I missed everything? So
first of all, everything, Okay, I'm there to like elevate people.
I'm at these gates. They invite me and it's like
she's gonna be a good loser. But I'm sick of it.
I want to win. So when I did is it cake?
Do you know that one?
Speaker 3 (10:30):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Okay, when I did is it cake?
Speaker 2 (10:32):
I guess the cake?
Speaker 1 (10:33):
No? I did. I was savage apparently though that's not
the place to be savage, that's the place to be supportive.
And I was like, I can tell that's not cake.
I don't care.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
So some people who they'd craft and they thought, oh god,
I'm gonna trick Eggo and you're like, yeah, I love frost.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
I was like, it's off, that's not and then I
was like, but I need I need people to know
that I went in there with baggage, so I had
I was on a like losing streaks.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Shure, there's a baker who gave up their dreams because
I was like, there's some person's like, well, I'm gonna
now We're gonna go to work at the bank. I'll
be the banker on Monopoly. Because my baking dreams just
went up on all I know, I.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Had to like rein it in. I think I was
all with Taran kill him who watches with his kids,
and He's like, you don't want to guess? And then
I was like, well, what's what's the point right if
I'm not going to give it my best.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
I have a rule. I don't like competition things I
won't Years ago, when I was in Chicago, Yeah, they
asked me to judge this little kid, Patgant, and I said,
actually I don't do that, but oh well it's a
great charity. I mean they kind of put the you
know the number on me and I agreed. And I
get there and these adorable little kids and I'm like, wait, no,
(11:42):
I can't judge kids. Are you kidding me? It was
near mutiny. All these like pageant moms were ready to
go off on my ass and I was like, okay,
wait a minite, waitit yeah, and I after that, I said,
you know, I don't have the ability to judge people
in that way that I don't do it, and I
can't because I'm not. I'm just like everybody's a way out.
(12:06):
See that's a good that's that makes you a good mom,
I think because I beat my son on thanks. No no, no,
no no. I'm like, I have the Michael George school
of thought. Okay, once you beat me, you know you're
a winner. My husband, he's a little different. He'll let
he'll let Moses come over here. I was like, listen,
I am not your father. You come here with you
go look straight to eye. You're gonna sit down.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Yeah, and he did that. Did your back was to
me while I was saying hello to Moses? And where
you give the eyes? You know what to do?
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Because he always wants to go to grown up things
with me. So I said, okay, we're gonna go to
Egoes podcast. Is that what's iheartrate? Can I put it
in Google Maps? Yes, you could put it in Google maps. Okay.
So then we get to the first of all, Lydia,
who's a part of our PR team, is wonderful. She
got the brunt of his acting out because she opened
the door. What was the driver opens the door and
(12:57):
he sees it and goes, I don't know and runs
passport like Lydia was like, like the Bakers when you
rejected their dreams. She was like, I'm cute, what's wrought
this ty kid? But then he apologized and warmed up,
and then he got on the elevator. So yeah, so
he's all, he's all good right now. But he likes
to go to adult things, okay, and that, you know,
(13:18):
so interesting. I didn't have Moses until I was forty
eight years old, and now I just celebrated my fifty
fifth birthday and he's six now, thank you, my darling.
And so it's so fascinating because I'm always in the
throes of this challenge of wanting him to see what
I do, because I tell people at my old job before,
I was like, oh, you know, I would have been
(13:39):
the only non mom on that ensemble cast that I
was on. And I remember an extra woman saying to me,
you know that I wasn't relatable. She didn't say because
of the motherhood, but I know what she was alluding to.
And so I'm very sensitive to talking about motherhood and
(14:00):
because I was, I've been a non mom for far longer,
you know, than actually being a mom, And now that
I have him, I want him to see this part
of my life and understand that, you know, whether you
work in or out of the home or whatever your
journey is, is your journey. For me, the journey is
working outside of the home, and I'm being a part
of it. And he's the inspiration for you know, my
(14:22):
children's book, and he's also on our show a lot.
And I want him to understand people are going to
come over and say hi to you. You're gonna be
curious because you're a part of my life.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
And then suddenly I feel guilty because we just had
like Jonie Turner Smith on it. She doesn't show her
kid's picture, She'll say her name to show a picture
of me. Moll, I'm like all over this, terrible mom
Jesus bringing him to a podcast.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
I always wonder how parents make that decision. I totally
get the decision to not share your children's identity. In
my mind, I'd like to think I would be that
kind of parent who wouldn't share children, my children's identity
in my mind, but like my nieces. Their pictures are
all over my Instagram.
Speaker 2 (15:03):
I'm like, they're just too precious, because it's it's a
normal sensation to want to share the things that make
us happy, right, so, whether it's a food restaurant or
me and not to create a child with a meal,
but be cute. But it's you know, even though we
live our lives in the public eye as we do,
I think it's only natural to want to share the
(15:25):
things because you're still human, right, You're still ego when
you go home and I go and we're still who
we are, and even in this format of conversation, you're
exactly as you were the day I met you, and
I hope I'm the same. And so it's like you're
naturally inclined to share the things you love, and social
media makes you want to share the things you love.
And so with my son, originally I had a plan.
(15:48):
I was like, Okay, I'm going to share him for
the first year, right because kind of babies look like babies,
And I said, once he becomes a more distinct looking person,
I won't share, and he's clearly, very distinctly, but I
just kept sharing. And then he's you know, he's a
part of the show. And when I go out to
the show, every you know, So we shoot three days
(16:09):
a week, two shows a day, one hundred and seventy
shows a season. So our season starts in September, goes
through May. And you know, ninety nine percent of the people,
whether they are moms or not, they ask how's Moses,
And so it's always a you know, it's thing. But
I've had, you know, a couple of times where I've
had to wrangle people in but for the most part,
(16:30):
you know, I think people understand he's still a kid
and he's here with me. But when he goes to
the airport, they're like, there's Moses. He's like walking through
like John Travolta. He's walking through the airport like I
love it.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
So he likes it. He likes being recognized.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
I think he Well, he told me that today. He goes,
I'm kinda shy and people with blonde hair. I don't
like seeing people hide it people with blonde hair, And
I was like, they're freaking what, So well, he just
made it up. He goes like on Spidey, it's related
it to some villain.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
I was fight.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
I'll say, well, that's weird, and I said, well, so
it has blonde hair and goes well, I actually don't
like her anymore because they go to the site. So
we have a rule. I said, listen, you you have
to at least look them in the eye and say hello.
You don't have to do anything beyond that, you know,
because I do want to have a child who has
autonomy and choice right and also balancing stranger danger. You
(17:25):
might know him, but he doesn't know you, right, not you,
And so what I tried, that's your boy. But what
I try to do is make sure that he's he
is able to We live in New York City, right,
I grew up in a teeny tiny Luling, Texas population
one thousand and half of those are my relatives. I
want him to be able to navigate in this world
(17:47):
with confidence. And part of that is when someone says
hello to you, being able to look someone in the eyes. Hello,
how are you stand in your space? And so I
say to him, you know that's your space. You say hello,
and you can keep it moving. You're not obli to
then let them interview you about your school or anything else.
But you look someone in the eye and you say hello.
Speaker 1 (18:06):
That's a beautiful way to do it, I feel like,
because it's you're striking that balance of having the autonomy
having a boundary, but also these are manners.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
These are manners, right, and it's true, and I want
him to understand boundaries. It's something that you know, here
I am in my life. I think the biggest learning
curve in the last probably four years of my life
really had surrounded boundaries and really not only setting boundaries
for myself, but even with I have about one hundred
(18:34):
and fifty employees, and I used to be I mean,
I email you all night long and be like, they'll
see it in the morning, secretly hoping you see that
guy out, you know. And I really had to establish
boundaries and starting this show because I was excited and
I had so much at stake and I needed this
show to work. But that didn't mean that it had
(18:55):
to come at the expense of others. You know, if
I my name's on the door, if I want to
stay up twenty four hours a day, I'm muna stay
up twenty four hours a day, and learning that I
cannot signal that expectation of others, right, And even though
I wasn't verbally saying it, you know, you can do
things that make people feel like, well, if I don't
give that much time, she doesn't think that I'm doing
(19:16):
a good job. So I've been very mindful of with
my team saying you know, I might I've gone did
two shows and go to the d the night we
saw each other, and then came back and write, that's me.
I'm not expecting that of you. And in return, like,
if you're behind, you can't just be calling me the
middle of dinner with my kid either, you know what
I mean? So like establishing those those respectful boundaries that
(19:40):
still allow for productive workspace and also just personal boundaries.
I mean my mom. I had a friend years ago
told me, like, you know, as time goes on your
relationship with your parents, you'll have to set boundaries.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
And I'm like, no, my mama, she doesn't do boundaries.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
What my mother? My mother's We have cameras in my
son's room. My mother is linked to the camera to
which she presses her button from her home in Texas,
and she's like, what y'all doing? I'm like, my mom.
My husband's in this boxer and he's like, your mom
is like hid your mama? We're talking to us.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
Later.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
And she was like, so I was looking in on
the camera. What were y'all talking about?
Speaker 1 (20:22):
Mom? My?
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Mom boundary?
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Now if you tried to tell her like, hey, we
need to establish a boundary, how would she respond to that?
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Honestly, I wouldn't be in this chair. No, no, no, no,
I will say, I'll say, Mom, really like you know, okay.
I was like, I'll just kind of like Jim like,
come on, Mom, really really?
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Now, you said you wanted Moses to have a sense
of identity on autonomy. You want him to have a
sense of identity and autonomy. Do you feel like you
had that as a kid? Oh?
Speaker 2 (20:57):
Absolutely so. Even though my mom was definitely what they
call the f around and find out kind of parents,
she was not a gentle parent. My mother had me
when she was nineteen years old and she was a
single mom before she married my stepfather, who I referred
to as they the dad got meant for me to have.
And what I mean by that he you know, it's
not my biological father, but he was meant God wanted
(21:18):
me to have somebody shepherd me yea and helped my mother.
And that is the person that was brought into our lives.
I grew up very much. I was allowed to run, jump, kickbox,
I mean like I did it all I was. And
I wasn't necessarily quote unquote tomboo, because I don't even
know what that means. I was more just adventurous. I
(21:40):
mean I was Nancy Drew one day, and then I
was wonder Woman the next day, and then I was
like the invisible character hiding under you know. I was
allowed to have a huge imagination. I think that's helped
me obviously later creatively. I got in a lot of
trouble in school, a lot of I went to Catholic school.
(22:01):
I was suspended. Gosh, I was probably suspended maybe three
or four times.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Three or four time. What's the worst thing you did
to get suspended? Honestly, honest, honestly. So my family did not.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Have the My parents and family did not put up
with bullying. And so my parents and family would say,
if someone hits you, take them out, like just just
go in and so.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Don't start nothing, but start finishing, finish.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
So I would not necessarily tell my son that today.
But I grew up in a in an environment where
I was the only child in the home because my
step siblings were a little older, and my brother came later,
and so I was a target. I was a target
because you know, my mom had me and you know,
track and clarinet, and I was this. I was like
this a little show kid right in some ways. And
(22:57):
when you're an only child, you're primed for others to
come at you. And I had an issue with some
kids once and I ran all the way home just
out of breath. I mean they were chasing me. It
was like a Gooney's gone back, that's probably And I
(23:18):
got home, and I've heard other people have a similar
situation in their lives. I have heard other people talk
about it. My mom basically opened the door and she's like,
what is going on? And I'm like, get out of
the way. They go kill us all, kill us all.
And my mom's like who, And I'm like the bully
that they're like. And my mother said, you're gonna go
out there and you're gonna either fight me or fight them,
(23:39):
because you can't have this. You got to stand up
for yourself. And after that, I had a low tolerance
for bullies, so much so that I became like the
neighborhood avenger like when everybody was like, there was this kid,
go figure, I'm from the South. There's this kid. His
name was Booker T. And he was a bully. No,
he was not going to be any more a leader.
(24:00):
He might be leading a prison ride right now, but.
Speaker 1 (24:04):
Could end up very different. And it did, and he did.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
And he was painting the butt and he was picking
on everybody, and he was taking these bikes. He was
just as a jerk in our neighborhood. And by then
I'd gotten the reputation for like standing up to the
evils of the world. And my dad always drilled in
my head, he's like all of my children, you're the
kid for right. And that's something that I grew up with,
that that that tone always that my grandfather, my aunt,
(24:29):
my mother, and my father always felt that I was
a reasonable person. Even as a child, I had this
I guess, well, let's look at both sides. Okay, my
mom is surprised, I'm not an a turn.
Speaker 1 (24:41):
I was gonna say, were you meant to be alloy?
Speaker 2 (24:43):
My mother says it all the time. But you know,
the kid came. They all came to me like Booker
T is just grgure And there we start marching like
I'm a little black normal ray, you know, and I
have all and I handled him.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
You handled Booker T. Boy?
Speaker 2 (24:59):
A boy? Do you say that? My father? I came
home like Punky Brewster. My hair's all out now, ponytail's unraveled.
And I came home and my dad was like, what
happened here? You know, because my dad was in the
military and he's like what he sees all these kids,
And I'm like, like Rocky coming back home after I
like handed his whole ant, and my dad said what happened?
(25:22):
And I said, you know, Booker T's been picking on everyone,
and we're fed up with him. We're tired of it.
And so I went and I beat him up, and
my father said, you're twelve. Now you're gonna have to stop.
At some point. Boys are bigger and they're stronger, yeah,
and you're not. And then I said to my dad, Well,
my my uncle O SI his brother, I go. Uncle
OC was right there watching. My Dad's like, oh my
(25:46):
I snitched out O. God rest his soul. But yeah,
So I grew up, like you know, and so later
in life, I'm in high school and I, you know,
I was well liked you know, I think. So I
was in drama class. You know, I had great my
friends were They used to basically make fun of the
fact that I had the wide range of friends. You know,
(26:08):
this is like what early nineties. So I had two
friends who were gay, and you know, back then it
wasn't as supportive. And I had a friend who I
had experienced homelessness and his you know, I won't say same,
but anyway, he was one of the kids in my
class because I went to what was referred to as
a magnet school.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Okay, everyone had to apply, everyone had.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
To apply, and so these were kids from various backgrounds,
but all had tested in and so some of us
it was like Fame school almost and just some odd characters.
And then there's me and you know, and I'm blended in.
And there were some kids who were not in our
program who were not so nice. And there was a
girl in particular, and I'm like in tenth grade and
(26:47):
I had this. I will never fore this is crazy.
I can remember this. I had a denim dress my
mom had just gotten me and I thought so cute
at the lunch table, and she came and dowscrape juice
all over me, and it was like something from the
Mean Girl's film It's crazy, I know, right, do me right?
Regina doubtst me like or like bringing on bringing, and
(27:10):
I gave her the booker t okay, the book. I
got kicked out of school and I got sent to
even though I was even though I was defending myself.
Back then, this was the beginning of zero tolerance because
bullying had become Now we talk about it much more openly.
This was the beginning of the national conversation of bullying
(27:30):
and how pre social media, but it had taken a
stringhold and it was for whatever my school. It was
a lot of it with young women, which is why
I'm so mindful of supporting other women now because for
some reason, just at that particular time, I don't know
what was in the social zitegeist, but there was a
lot of mean girl behavior. And then I got sent
(27:54):
to this like school, like off campus school.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
An alternative school.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
My parents were really I had to go for like
two months, oh boy, And it was like when they
had started cracking down and then later came back and
that was fine, but.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
Any part of you, like you guys told me to
defend myself. It's become a part of my.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
My mom did not care. My mom was like, what
time do I need to pick you up from school
to take you to the other school. She didn't care
because my mother felt like academically I was going to
be okay, social emotional, I was always allowed to talk
about my feelings and wonderfully supportive. But my mom is
an educator and she has a very low tolerance for bullying,
and she grew up on a farm and just you know,
(28:36):
kindness was a very big part of my family. Or
advocating and rallying for other people. That was always a
thing in my home. As I said, my father who
raised me was in the military. It's two purple hearts
twenty eight years. So I just grew up around folks
who were the kind of people like ten toes down,
defend yourself, and whoever you came to the party with,
(28:58):
you leave, And so that was always something and I
think with even with my son to this day, those
are tones and and and and core beliefs like I
have the same best friend from age five. Wow, all
of my crew pretty much says a couple of people
who had to get kicked out here thanks to the grass.
(29:20):
But for the most part. You know, I'm still with
the date I came with.
Speaker 3 (29:24):
No.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Wow, that's incredible. That is amazing. Oh, I don't know.
I think people are like that. No. I was just
listening to someone on the podcast saying that every seven
years as an adult, you basically make new friends, Like.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
There are some new people that like listen, when I
met you, it was like moth to flames, yeah, and
I'm like, not, I'm socially awkward. So I'm like, I
got there and it was an event that they didn't
let us bring a plus one, and generally dal I
generally decline things where I can't bring a plus one
a because I think they discriminate against single people. It's like,
you can bring your husband, Yeah, I want to bring
(29:58):
my friend.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
So I tend to say no to because I've been
scorn for being single for so long and so now
I'm married and I want to bring my husband because
he's socially awkward. I'm like, with us ruined my reputation
for being cool, and so I accepted that because it
was immigreed and it was supposed to be this great,
you know, dinner with women who've been advocating and supporting
(30:22):
each other, and it turned out to be exactly what it.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Was to be.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Yes, loved it. I walk over to the bar and
I saw you. And that's how truly, I truly did
feel like I was like, hello.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
Hey, and I turned around and go me, I love
that hair.
Speaker 2 (30:37):
I mean, well we're like next to you know, talking.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
About love and life everything. Oh my goodness, So you
because I saw you and I was at that Okay,
that event, first of all.
Speaker 2 (30:47):
Was incredible efence.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
I was telling someone after it, I'm like a lot
of times, I don't know if you feel the same
way you get invited to something that it's like it's
for women and it doesn't feel warm, and it can
feel kind of mean girlish if I'm being honest, But
I am a curious It's such an incredible room, and
I mean I think that room was such a reflection
of her because it felt warm. But also the conversation
(31:08):
we had that night was like so empowering and so insightful.
But how it started is I said I have when
you said hide, I have to tell tamor in this.
So I heard Tamar and tell a story on her show. Yes, okay,
I'm telling you I'm the button. If you do one,
I'll do one. Okay. So the jeans are now forming
(31:31):
to you. It's getting warm.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Okay, I cannot cry. I can cross like. That's about
as far as I got. Okay.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
I know that feeling though, when something fits three weeks
ago and then you you have a little too much
fun if you will, and it's like, oh, these fit
like a glove, and now they's like not a glove,
like a something.
Speaker 3 (31:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
I was gonna say, you were right here, so okay,
So so I walked when we were talking at the party. Yah,
I got to tell you. I heard you tell the
story on your show about the parasailing accident you were
in were you almost drowned and your fiance at the
time did not even flinch to begin to try to
save you. And in that moment, you're like, I need
(32:15):
to break up with this man.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
And I did, and I did. It was many years
ago in Cosameo, Mexico, parasailing and the parasale broke and
I had a life jacket on flew out to see splat.
They circled the speedboat back to come and get me,
and he just looked over at me while these two
people who had been speaking English but then suddenly could
(32:38):
only speak Spanish jumped in to rescue me. No, they
were like, we're not getting sued. They jumped in though
at least saved me, proved me. And I'm terrified, and
I just looked. I remember looking up at that man saying,
as soon as we get back to Chicago, and I
said it like that ch cag chgo it's over.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
You Did you say it to him or this.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Was yeah, I said it in my Facebook. I mean
I said he saw it. He had to okay, he
had to have Okay, it was pure. It's a mix
of disappointment m hm, also though like this is who
you are?
Speaker 1 (33:17):
You know, It's like all.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Of these things at once. I'm sure he saw because
I was going through it. I'm like, first disbelief, Yeah,
then you're like, wait, this is the guy that I
might marry Mary, And then it's like, ah, this is
who you are, okay, and then it's like okay.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
Yeah right. It's one of those moments where you learn
a lot about a person in a moment of chaos
or tragedy. Like they say, when you break up with someone,
the way they behave during a breakup is like who
they actually are.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
But you had something I.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
Know when I heard your story, I know, first of all, wait,
how long had you two have been together, Tammer, because
this is engaged.
Speaker 2 (33:54):
Oh my gosh, that is yours to be a couple
of years.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Oh wow, okay, brave and bold. But it was clear
to you and you broke up as soon as you got.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Back to that got offed airlines flight whatever that was.
Speaker 1 (34:05):
Because Chicago is the Hubs, that's how we know it
was united. But my I was in a relationship and
I had an incident in Lake Como where.
Speaker 4 (34:15):
I beautiful like George Clooney's lake. Yes, George Clue, like
a dreamy dream dreamers. I mean, the company was not great.
The company was the person that's like, but it's.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Lake Como right and bucket lists and it's stunning, stunning, stunning.
I almost drowned, okay, but like four Norwegian guys save
me because they teach them, apparently, how to swim from age.
It's like part of the school system there, which we
need to do that, and we really should. We should.
Really a couple of petition.
Speaker 2 (34:47):
Contes do it. It's on their physical education.
Speaker 1 (34:50):
Should I'm sorry, I'm getting to save every time I
want to run for president. We need to be teaching
our youth how to swim. That's my platform. But anyway,
I almost drown. These five Norwegian guys came to say me.
But the way that the person I was with at
the time, just like there was this weird tension as
I was about to drown, not because he was going
(35:11):
to try to drown me, let me be very clear,
but it was like, oh, you're not really going to
try to help me.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
In the way that you could like immediately, and that
a gender assignment. That is, I am with someone or
something that I love. That someone or something I love
is in Harold m h and my instinct.
Speaker 1 (35:32):
My instinct is to like I need to fix this,
I need to protect this person, which is an interesting
thing because that was something we would often have a
conflict about, is like I want to feel like my
partner their instinct is to protect me. So I saw
that clip randomly, Look at what God did. I saw
that clip randomly after that vacation, like weeks, a couple
(35:55):
months after, maybe maybe months, because that was it was
a summer vacation July. I saw it and I felt convicted.
Like if you've ever been to church and the pastors
preaching and they're like they're talking to me, they know,
how do they know? Okay? Well, I'm watching the clip
and I was like, where did this come from? Why
does Tamar know? Tammar is telling me I need to
break up with this man? So I broke up with
(36:16):
someone because of Tamer and Hall, y'all let the record stay, yeah,
your mom, your mom did it. You're a heartbreaker, booth
your mom, your mom broke the heart, not me, Okay.
And and so I was like, I have to tell
you this because it stuck with me, and I didn't
do it right away. I didn't do it when we
got to Chicago because I didn't go to Chicago. I
(36:39):
wasn't even I wasn't in Chicago, and I wasn't sure,
but I had this. There were like a number of
things cause you know, you know, they said, like, you
know when it's the right person. I feel like you,
I don't how do you feel about that?
Speaker 2 (36:49):
I don't know if I believe that.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Oh, I need to talk to about this.
Speaker 2 (36:51):
I think I think circumstances allow you to know if
they're the right person. I don't know, if I've never
had a gut feeling, I've like mind my husband and
we met right when I had when I was let
go from my job, and I was the first time
in my life since I was fourteen years old that
I'd been unemployed. I've worked my entire life. My first
(37:14):
job was at Toys r Us. I worked in the
stuffed animal section and worked my way up to cashier.
So I've had a job my entire life because I
needed that independence, and I begged my dad to let
me have the independence of work. So so much of
my identity was aligned with the independence at work gives.
I can buy what I want, go where I want,
you know, blah blah blah. I begged to work when
I was fourteen two, and my dad refused for a
(37:35):
long time, and finally he gave in. And back then
they didn't have any computers because it was one hundred
years ago, and I forged my age and they were
like Toys was like, come.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Up and they are defunct now, so we can't even
they can't do anything.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
Child labor lost Toys r Us. But you know, I
was always looking for independence, and so now I'm out
of work for the very first time in my life
and my self esteem is managing and all these different
things that go along when you've lost some thing that
you think is a dream. And so I ended up.
I known Stephen for some time from Afar, and then
I ran into him on It was this funny sergeony
(38:10):
on a plane. There was my ex and his new
tall Russian girlfriend sitting behind me.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
Not the ex.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
Set, a different one, another one, and she was a
beautiful one, because you always picture you're going to see
your ex and they're gonna be like with one person
with one two you know.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
A girl's girl, and could be like, no, she was bad.
Speaker 2 (38:30):
She was bad. She was bad as hell, and so
I'm like, holy moly, this gorgeous woman. And then he
and I didn't even want him, but now she And
then I run into Stephen and I used him as
a decoy. I was gonna say quick, I was like no,
I was like, just I'm gonna just talk to that.
That was great to see you. But as time went on,
we'd run into each other. And then I had that
(38:51):
situation happen with my prior job, and then I finally
was able to like to see things I feel even
though I hope in my heart. I'm a great friend.
I realized how much time I was focused on work
and not my friendships. And I called these things my
love ships, and they fall under a lot of things, right,
just things I enjoy, right, just taking a respital, walking
(39:12):
around without responding to two hundred calls from work, and
just walking New York. I remember when I first moved
to New York. I could walk from Central Park all
the way down to Battery Park and my eyes were
so wide open. Now I'm doing it, and I'm looking
at my phone because he's working at it. And those
are important things, don't get me wrong. Because you got
to put in the numbers to get the score that
you need, and I get that. But now I didn't
(39:33):
have the gig. I was able to, like kind of
focus on relationships. So I'm going back to the core.
I don't know if you for me anyway. It was
a gut. It was watching him in these circumstances with
me right rooting me on as I'm writing the template
for the Tammeron Hall Show, and I was watching you know,
MERV Griffin and dinersh. Everyone always thinks you go straight
to Oprah. I'm like no, I went to I studied,
(39:56):
Oh my god, so much daytime TV and even down
to how the seats would be together. I'm sketching and
I'm going to these rooms and they're like, you got
a whole sketch. And so he was there. So it
was the circumstances and him rooting for me, and me
feeling that that's what because on paper, I wasn't planning
(40:17):
on being with a five foot four Jewish guy from
the Bronx. Wasn't not and not just that's a bad thing.
I feel like I've won the lottery here. But it
was the circumstances because I think I've had relationships where
I thought, oh my god, yes, and then you're on
the side of the boat dying versus you know, putting
(40:40):
in the work and watching someone root for you, watching
you know that feeling of God, this person really wants
me to win.
Speaker 1 (40:50):
And they're for you, and as.
Speaker 2 (40:53):
A result, they become for.
Speaker 1 (40:55):
You, and that's beautiful, and that's actually a word. You
could have been a lawyer. You're currently an award winning
talk show host, but I'm just gonna say you could
also be a preacher, because I'm just saying that's beautifulchurch.
This has been incredible. I you are. I just am like,
(41:16):
I'm so honored to know you, my heart. I stand.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
I hope the next time you are in trouble and
you're about to drown and lay como at the beautiful
hand of my because I'm gonna be on the vacation
with you. Okay, No, I can't tell you. I am
so blown away by your extreme talent, but also and
dropped at gorgeous. But you you have this incredible energy
(41:43):
that is illuminating. I truly think I meet a lot
of people all the time, and I'm very fortunate in
that way to have lived this very big life, but
you stand out in this way. That's just it is.
It's your You know when people say breath of fresh air,
you are a freaking breath of fresh air. That's why,
(42:05):
in a monsoon you I brought my whole little six
year old and let him play nine hours of Monopoly.
Over there, he's Jonathan Height, the guy who says no
digital fri kids. Jonathan Hide somewhere is hovering over me,
judging me as a mom.
Speaker 1 (42:23):
So you are.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
I think that you make entertainment so special and I
just love you. I could not love you more. I'm
a fan.
Speaker 1 (42:32):
Thank you. I'm like, I ge't words.
Speaker 2 (42:34):
Are you are my Beyonce?
Speaker 1 (42:37):
What that is? Tam Tameran, thank you so much. I
am so grateful for you. And honestly, if we had
more time, I would tell all the people and maybe
I will on the outro when I record it, when
you grow, I'll tell all the people all the beautiful
things you said to me that evening and how inspiring
and empowering and just authentic and like right here on
(42:58):
the ground but also in the sky, which I think
is a hard balance to strike. You are incredible. Thank
you for doing this. May I ask if you will
give a listener advice as well? Of course, Okay, we're
gonna get advice from We're gonna get a listener's request
for advice.
Speaker 3 (43:12):
Okay, Hi, I'm in middle school. My social studies teacher
keeps asking really stupid questions that are really poorly worded
and marking all of the kids answers wrong. How do
I politely tell her this without getting in trouble?
Speaker 2 (43:28):
Thanks?
Speaker 1 (43:30):
Ooh, tarm It, I'm letting you out.
Speaker 2 (43:33):
That's a funny thing because we just had this conversation
about being direct or clarifying, like is there a difference? Right?
I think? So, I think, well, how old? How old
are you.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
In middle school? I'm gonna say between twelve twelve.
Speaker 2 (43:49):
I you know, first of all, I think you have
to be polite, and then you have to understand that
this person controls your grades. So I believe in with kindness.
I think you say, thank you so much, missus Jones
for that feedback. But if you can help me understand it,
I think I can get what you want. So you
(44:12):
want to you want to work it right. You know,
it's like missy Elliotson, good.
Speaker 1 (44:16):
Work it, reverse it.
Speaker 2 (44:18):
So you got to you gotta flip it and reverse it, okay,
because if you go in hot like this is stupid,
what do you think You're not going to get anywhere?
So you want to turn on the charm. I think
you say, you know, I want to understand why you
marked it up this way because I want to make
you proud of me because you're my favorite offeness teacher
(44:41):
in the class or in the school. Oh and I
want you to be happy.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
Oh my goodness. And I want to Yeah, I want
to make it. I want to make this.
Speaker 2 (44:50):
I want to get I want to get it right
the next time. So like, let's erase that she is
quote unquote doing a bad job, and let's reverse it.
Because in life, one of the things you're going to
have to understand. It's I don't know if you like sports,
but whether you are the quarterback of your team or
on any team, or at some point in work, you're
going to lead people. And the easiest way to get
(45:13):
people to do what you want is to make them
feel appreciated. And so the skill I want you to
learn now is one that will make sure your success
the rest of your life. How do you get people
to bend to your will? You do it through kindness
and making them feel that they're important. And she is important.
(45:34):
She controls your race. Yes, absolutely, So I think you
have to just say thank you. I just want to
understand because I want you to be proud and I
want to give you what you want from me.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
I think that is perfect. I simply will not add
to it another word from you, misstakeing.
Speaker 2 (45:51):
But I've now taught you to be manipulative. So that's
a different story. And Tammeran is officially saying manipulation a
little bit of it, but it's okay because you're your
heart is good. Yes, your heart is.
Speaker 1 (46:01):
Good, because we can't have you like disrespecting the teacher.
Now you're with you.
Speaker 2 (46:05):
My mom was a teacher. You can't disrespect your teacher,
but you can, though connect with her and understand that
in respecting her, she may not be as clear as
she thinks she is. And I want to be able
to give you what you want.
Speaker 1 (46:21):
I think that's beautiful. That is sound advice, sage wisdom.
If you ask me, Tamrin, thank you so much for
being here. I love you, Love you, love you. That
was an absolutely delightful conversation with miss timerin Hall. If
I can say so myself, she is just so wise,
(46:42):
so brilliant, and honestly. At that event where I met her,
she was just as delightful as she was today on
the podcast. Spoke with so much insight and wisdom and clarity,
and I just was like holding onto her every word.
I'm so glad she was a guest today. I am
immensely grateful for her. And how Moses You're gonna see
(47:03):
you've seen the picture of Moses at this point, just
an adorable, sweet, precious soul, so happy that Tamerine was here. Bye,
Thanks Dad. Is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money
Players and iHeart Podcasts. I'm Your Host AEGO wodem Our
producer is Kevin Bartelt, and our executive producer is Matt
Appadaka
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