All Episodes

March 5, 2024 41 mins

In this deeply personal episode, I sit down with my incredible wife Heather for an intimate conversation about our journey together. We've been through a lot over the past 18 years, and we're finally ready to share our story with you.

From the early days of our relationship when many doubted we would last, to the joys and challenges of raising our beautiful daughter Minka, we hold nothing back. We discuss the realities of being an interracial couple in today's society and the unique obstacles we've faced along the way.

Heather opens up about her experiences as a white woman navigating a relationship with a black man, and the assumptions and judgments that come with it. We also delve into the complexities of raising a biracial child and the important conversations we're having as a family.

Through it all, we've learned invaluable lessons about love, patience, and the power of open communication. We hope that by sharing our truth, we can inspire others to live authentically and fight for the relationships that matter most.

Join us for this candid exploration of race, family, and the unbreakable bond of love. It's a conversation that will make you think, laugh, and maybe even shed a tear. Most importantly, it's a reminder that our differences can be our greatest strengths.

 

 

Host: Daymond John

Producers: Beau Dozier & Shanelle Collins; Ted Kingsbery, Chauncey Bell, & Taryn Loftus

For more info on how to take your life and business to the next level, check out DaymondJohn.com 

 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You don't live for other people, live for yourself to
find out what makes you happy. You live once and
you know you don't know what You're going to be
missing out on. A really good relationship, really good friendship, friendship, friendship.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
What if I told you there was more to the
story behind game changing events?

Speaker 3 (00:21):
Get ready for my new podcast, That Moment with Damon John,
will jump into the personal stories of some of the
most influential people on the planet, from business mobiles and
celebrities to athletes and artists. Today, on That Moment with
Damon John, I have a very very special guest. A

(00:42):
lot of people think that this person who was a
registered nurse.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
Not This person is an advisor from CONSIGLIERI, a mother,
a businesswoman, advisor to many, and just a very special
person that I have found to be a real true shark.
A lot of people try to interview this person. This

(01:09):
person extremely elusive, extremely elusive, very hard negotiat, he can't reader,
very very accomplishable, at least in my world. It is
my wife, Heather John. Everybody still calls her Terris after
we've been together eighteen years, we've been married. How long

(01:31):
we've been married.

Speaker 4 (01:32):
I guess it's going to be it's going to be
six years and.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
Six years we have been married. We have a beautiful
seven year old little girl making jag of John. She's
in the background, shout out to make a jagger John.
Heather and Heather and make it. Don't go anywhere without
each other except for when you go to the gym,
and she goes to school, and she goes to swim,

(01:58):
and then you go to whatever. Right, so we have
my wife here. It is that moment with Daman John,
with my wife, I have some questions that I know
the rest of the world likes to ask, but I'm
gonna ask her some questions about our relationship and her
thoughts and things, and of course you can always send

(02:18):
it to me some more questions. So I'm gonna just
get right at it. You know, when Heather and I
we were together for as I said, eighteen years, but
about a couple of years into it, I never really
I'd already had my two oldest beautiful daughters, Destiny as me,
who are great older sisters and really great, great people.

(02:39):
But there was that moment when she decided, we decided collectively,
and she found out that we were going to bring
beautiful little maka Jack of Johnny into the world. How
did you feel at that moment? Because I didn't necessarily
know if that was going to happen, but it happened

(02:59):
was so great.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
So how did I How did I feel about, you know,
finding out that I was pregnant, No, was finding.

Speaker 2 (03:06):
Out that you were going to bring Yeah, I guess
so well.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
I could tell a story about the moment I was
confirmed that I was pregnant.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (03:16):
It was actually a really.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
Weird story because I was leaving the doctor's office. You
were out of town still, and it was like I
had already taken on the test and I found out
that I was pregnant. I took like eight tests because
I was like, how to be sure that's maybe my OCD.
So after like the eighth at home tests, I went
to the doctor and they're like, okay, you're pregnant.

Speaker 4 (03:33):
I'm like, okay, all right. Cool.

Speaker 1 (03:35):
So I was walking home in Midtown when we lived
in New York City at the time, and I'm walking
down thirty second Street actually, and I'll never forget it
because now I just found out I'm pregnant, and I'm like.

Speaker 4 (03:45):
Okay, and some guy hits on me, and I'm like, you.

Speaker 1 (03:48):
Know, I'm a mother, and I felt really offended at
that time.

Speaker 4 (03:52):
I actually felt really offensive.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
I was like, oh, and it's so it was such
a strange feeling because I'm so used to being nobody's mother,
and I'm like, this is so rude.

Speaker 4 (04:02):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
And I look back and I'm like, I think about
how stupid that was. But at the moment, I was offended.

Speaker 4 (04:09):
Anyway. That's that story. But in terms of.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
Well, how'd you feel, you know, it was that moment
that you said, this man and I will have a
bond together for the rest of our lives. I mean,
we had already planned on that was a conversation after
so many years, I can get into that where we
were going.

Speaker 4 (04:27):
I was really happy about it.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
I was like shocked because I did we didn't know,
like it wasn't like, you know, eventually we would want
a child. But you know, I think at first when
you it wasn't on the raidar At that moment, it
was like shocking, But after that settled in, you're like,
you know, I'm happy about it, you know, but I
think after you've been with someone so many years, it's
not it's kind of just like, yeah, it's a natural

(04:50):
next step that you know, it was either get married
or have a baby at that point, because now we're looking,
I mean, let's.

Speaker 4 (04:58):
Just let me think about that. Well, that's that's that.

Speaker 1 (05:01):
Was like nine years in. I mean nine years in
is a long time man, you know.

Speaker 2 (05:08):
I think that's another that's another good point, right because
I met you or you met me both, I'm fifteen
years your senior. Yep, you were twenty two and you
were you would just finished, you had advanced in school,
and you had a professional career that you were going
into and you were in the fashion industry from the

(05:31):
buyer's perspective, slash merchandizing barus, you know, behind the scenes
right sales executive. And at twenty two, I think that
you know you got me. I was thirty eight. I
was already coming back coming out of a situation which
you know, it is what it is. But how why
would you know? I'm sure people told you for a

(05:51):
long period of time. Well, listen, this guy is he's
already done what he needed to do in life. He's
some level of success, has children. He's never going to
are you? Yeah, because I had also dated prior, and
I was a little all over the place because I
was I was a guy. Yeah, you know, yeah, why
would you stick it out? Or where was the indications?
Because I remember a lot of people say, do you rightfully?

(06:13):
So what are you doing? You're you're a beautiful young woman,
you're smart. Yeah, not like you're out there looking for
guys in the sense of, oh, you know, I need
to be on I don't even think social media was around.
Why would you stay around?

Speaker 1 (06:25):
Okay, Well, when I met you were thirty seven, I
had just turned twenty two. I just moved from Philadelphia
to New York, so I had just I actually skipped
a year. I finished college a year earlier. So then
I was having my time to just like hang out,
go to clubs, like move to a new city, you know,
meet new people. I wasn't looking for a husband, right,
I was hanging out. I was doing what a twenty

(06:48):
two year old should be doing.

Speaker 2 (06:49):
Right, Yeah, getting to know them cells and.

Speaker 1 (06:52):
Yeah, I got my own apartment in Jersey. I was
going out. So when I met you there, there was
no immediate expectation at that time. My next step in
life was get a damn job, you know, So I
graduated college, it's time to start working. So I'm having
my fun going out meant you and it. You know,

(07:15):
it was slow going in the in the beginning.

Speaker 2 (07:18):
But nine years in what happens.

Speaker 4 (07:20):
Oh, you're talking about.

Speaker 2 (07:21):
Eight years in what happens?

Speaker 1 (07:22):
Yeah, of course I heard it many times, like you're
wasting your time.

Speaker 4 (07:26):
He's had a whole life before you.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
He already has two kids, he doesn't really need anybody.
There's nothing that you know, like, you're not going to
get anything out of this situation, like you want to.
You want to get married and have kids. But you
always said I will never waste your time. And the
other side of it is I had a blueprint. I
saw the way you treated your ex. I saw how

(07:48):
much time you spent with your daughters and how often
you were flying out to see them, even though they
lived in a completely different state and you had a
crazy schedule already, you still took with them. And I
kind of just said, well, it was a risk I
was going to take. But just knowing your character, you
seem like a good guy, and I knew you were

(08:10):
a good guy. Like I'm like, he's not going to
waste my time. It's not going to be. You know,
I just in my gut, like I know, you know,
in life, you just go with your gut. I was
going with my gut. So of course I had naysayers
like and a massive amount of a sorry, I had
a massive amount of naysayers about our relationship.

Speaker 2 (08:29):
Well, and I appreciate that, but I think that that
there is the point. You know, no matter how much
your gut and things tell you, there will be the
people that will catch us or catch you. They don't
know when you're in your up your down, but especially
if you're like, oh, he's traveling so much. Ah, I
heard about this other woman in the past. Oh guy,
I read an article that people or guys like this

(08:53):
don't do that. Oh, and they'll catch you right at
those moments. Yeah, how do you what would you say
to others? Is the way you deal with it? To
say I got blinders on and this blinders is a
good way, and then there's blinders of you know, this
person is no good. You know you're heading down the
wrong path, Like how do you r? And you know,
whatever it is the way you rationalize is not how

(09:13):
everybody else can What do you do?

Speaker 4 (09:15):
What do you mean by blinders?

Speaker 2 (09:18):
You know it appeared in that one you were like,
my gut is telling me one thing, which is good.
The evidence of who this guy is is great. However,
there's a lot of other factors going on around here,
and am I being the stupid one? Right?

Speaker 4 (09:34):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (09:35):
Yeah, I questioned myself quite a few times more than
a yes. I definitely questioned myself a lot over the situation.
But at the end of the day, I was happy
when I was with you, and my gut told me
that things were going to work out in the long run.
But I don't know the advice that I always give
to women in those situations now, and I definitely have

(09:55):
been asked because I've definitely been approached based off of
our relationship with women actually quite a few in relationships
that are high profile actually, and I always just say, like,
you got to go with your gut, like you know
what's right and you know what's wrong for you. You know,
if your significant other is traveling a lot, you just

(10:16):
got to be confident with yourself. And for me, I
just just never gave a shit like I just never
give a shit like I just and it's not I
don't know, it's just I it's just how I am.
I'm very like relaxed, like I'm casual with things, and
you know, what's meant to be is going to be.
You know, I think I'll show it, things will reveal itself, right.

Speaker 2 (10:36):
I believe that that's that's a great trade of both
of ours, because I have a very similar belief. I
believe that I mean, you know, of course, to me
and to anybody, their wife or their husband should be
the most beautiful person on the planet. And you are
the most beautiful personal planet. And I travel a lot,
and you know what, I can be on you every

(10:57):
single day with what you're doing. You're going to do
a thing, You're gonna do your thing, and so you're
trying to uncover all these type of things and looking
for something. I think that I find that that doesn't
that doesn't really really work, really work.

Speaker 1 (11:30):
Yeah. And you know, another funny thing that a lot
of people don't know about us, and I found that
other friends think it's weird is that we could maybe
go most of the day and maybe talk like once.

Speaker 4 (11:42):
A day while you're on the road. But that's normal
for us.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
And sometimes and it's not because I don't love you
or you don't love me. Sometimes we go to bed
and we don't get a chance to call each other,
but it's it's no thing. Like some people can't go
to bed without saying I love you, Like should we?

Speaker 4 (11:57):
Yeah? But life is life and I don't stress it.
You don't struss it.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
And we often yeah, like we don't talk the whole day,
and like I know couples who talked throughout this the
whole day. Like I'm like, damn, Like why are you
going to talk to him all day?

Speaker 4 (12:10):
Like he's not it's not that serious.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
I wish I could tell everybody. It was super easy though,
because I got to tell you. You know, for a while,
I used to go, I shouldn't want to talk to me,
But I think that that's relationship. Now. What if I
was a person who there are a lot of people
in this world that, for whatever reason high they were
brought up, they believe that jealousy is a part of love.

(12:35):
If you're not jealous, you don't love me, right, or
if I'm not showing that I'm jealous. What if I
was that person who needed that form of communication and
I needed you to baby me or paan for me
or make me feel secure. How could you do you
think you could have dealt with that?

Speaker 1 (12:52):
Absolutely not, And I think the relationship would have dissolved
on its own.

Speaker 2 (12:57):
I think that that's a really good point of something
you had brought up a long time ago. Now maybe
sometimes it's changed now because my travel has quadrupled ever
since we started, let's say eighteen years ago, and then
Shark Tank got big around fifteen, maybe maybe twelve years ago,
Shark Tank got crazy. My my travel quadrupled. I went

(13:20):
from fifty days traveling a year to two fifty, right,
all right? And I remember a lot of women used
to say that your your advice because you don't. You
don't speak to a lot of women. You're one of
those women who are very cool. You got your couple
of girls, and even them, you're not like, yo, let's go.
You're just like the same way me, Hey, cool, cool.

(13:41):
And you have sounded like one thing you said a
while ago about suffocation wasn't suffocation. He said, You know what,
after he comes home after a crazy day of work,
let leave him alone for whatever thirty minutes you said,
leave him alone for thirty minutes because his mind is
he's just digesting everything. Just take a second, because a
lot us period. Whoever it is, even me can soon

(14:03):
as as soon as somebody comes, Oh, I've been waiting
to talk to you, baby, and you don't know what
that person is coming in the house, dealing that person
is coming home.

Speaker 1 (14:13):
Yeah, that's just something I think over time we had
to figure out about each other too, because also, yeah,
naturally if we have a life together, we have things
to go over. I think that's just something that, you know,
after our conversations, we found that that works for us
and mainly for you because you're just coming off of
a flight and you already have a list of things

(14:34):
to do and a lot of other demands from other
people that that that you need that decompression time for yourself.

Speaker 2 (14:42):
Yeah, now now, and now. I don't want to make
it sound like we have the rosiest relationship. I think
we do. One of my favorite, I think my favorite
my favorite songs is walk this Way by Run DMC.
I want to date myself, Aero Smith, The Wall breaks Narrowsmith,
it comes out walk this Way, Talk this Way. You

(15:04):
remember that video, of course, and you remember run DMC
and jam Ass to Jay We're all like this looking
at them like this. Yeah, so when I come home,
you and the baby are looking at me like this,
why are you here? Why are you here? Almost like yeah,
almost like a like I always say, you know, you
kind of treat me like how a cat.

Speaker 4 (15:27):
You're like a guest.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
I'm a guest. So I walk in and I'm asking
my I'm doing what I do? You know, A couple
of days I'm home and you're both looking at me
like yo, mommy, why yo? What's to do it in here?

Speaker 4 (15:38):
For?

Speaker 2 (15:38):
Like? And then I kind of get pissed, so hold on,
hold on.

Speaker 1 (15:41):
Well, that's what happens when you travel two hundred and
fifty days a year. We kind of have our own routine,
our own schedule.

Speaker 2 (15:47):
I grew up seeing it. I grew up seeing and
now I don't smoke, but I grew up seeing seeing
all the dads I saw on TV. Pipe slippers, big
easy chair. I come in. It's no taking shoes off,
there's no slippers. Who don't sit in the share? I
just cleaned it, and you better and not smoke, which
I don't smoke.

Speaker 4 (16:03):
Thank god, because that wouldn't work.

Speaker 2 (16:05):
And I got me like I'm the shot. I am
the shot.

Speaker 4 (16:10):
We're working that, you know what.

Speaker 1 (16:11):
See, that's this is just relationships that's a work in progress,
you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (16:17):
I think trying to think more about you when you
come in the door, give you a hug, What do
you went for dinner? Making sure there's food in the fridge. Hey,
nothing is perfect.

Speaker 1 (16:29):
Every relationship has, you know, wonderful things other you know,
and then there's other issues. We all have issues. I
don't care who you are, what you do, where you
come from, Like, we all have our things. And yes,
yes we do treat Damon like a guest sometimes because
he's never.

Speaker 2 (16:43):
Home and it's not easy, you know. So I want
to talk about some more of a serious matter or
a matter, not a matter, an important matter that a
lot of people overlook and they don't understand the value
of it, and they look at it only through one life. Now,
a lot of people do know that my stepdad is
of the Jewish faith, and I always say that. You

(17:05):
know how his brother was one of the lead people
over here fighting for Mandela's freedom as everybody around the
world was fighting for it. Told me, Damy, be pro black,
never anti anything else, and never become a thing you're
fighting against. And I love him to death. Steve so
I grew up seeing love in a different way of
people of all colors. But you know, I remember seeing

(17:31):
I think it was a CBSNBC something like that. It
was old. It was a clip of a woman she
was African American and she was sitting at the table
with a bunch of women who were Caucasian and she
was just talking and there was about twelve women there.
And don't know if we could show the clip, but
anybody can google it and I can put the name
of it. And she said, you know, our skin is
our weapon as an African American woman, because you can

(17:55):
be Jewish, or you can be various other things, and
when people can find out who you are are and
they can have their comments or beliefs, but as an
African American, you don't need to find out who we are.
I walk down the street right. And when she said
in that room she was like, yeah, who dated an
African American man something like that. They were like, oh, yeah,
maybe I have one time. And then she was like, well,

(18:17):
what is the plight of this country?

Speaker 1 (18:19):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (18:20):
And some of them will, oh it's okay. Now I
got to give credit to the women who are white
in there too, because knowing a network like CBSNBC, whoever
it is. You have to clear that you will prove
what's being aired. She finally said, which one of you?
How many in here, knowing what African Americans go through
in this country, would have a baby with a black

(18:43):
man and allow that to be your child, knowing what
your child will face, and they all would like this,
They will all quiet because no matter what we want
to believe in this country, and you and I and
so many great people in this country, we have more
weren't common that we have a part. Do not believe
in any form of or don't most of the people,

(19:06):
I truly believe, believe that they should discriminate against you
because you are ignorant, violent, You're a crook. They don't
believe in skin necessarily. But when you decided and knew
that I'm going to be in this relationship with this
man and I'm potentially going to have a beautiful, beautiful child,

(19:29):
you you didn't have a preference necessarily when you were dating.
You just wanted a beautiful person you were dating. You
could have chose from people who are of your own
color and gender. This up to you. You knew you
were going to take on that journey. Why did you
take that on? Did you have any second thoughts? Did

(19:51):
you just even the dating process? Because in you're dating,
you're starting to get serious to saying, hey, we may
have something together. What was your thought process?

Speaker 1 (20:00):
So I'm a person who didn't have a preference on
the color of your skin. I date for the person.
And I've dated several different races, and.

Speaker 2 (20:14):
How many.

Speaker 4 (20:17):
You already know?

Speaker 2 (20:19):
Okay, and that's true, I do, well, you know, is
it all?

Speaker 4 (20:25):
Yeah? I don't know.

Speaker 1 (20:27):
I've just dated for people I didn't care about race,
and it's really never been a thing for me since
I can remember. Maybe it started middle school when I
was actually attracted to males of different races. It's it's
just I don't know, And I think luckily my generation

(20:50):
I just turned forty, but I feel like maybe perhaps
my generation was one of the big beginning of all
of that where it was actually really define acceptable because
you know, I guess it depends who you're talking to
who wants to debate you on it. But I just
feel like a lot of the kids were starting to
date interracially in my school. I went to a high

(21:13):
school right outside of Philadelphia, and it was pretty mixed,
and it was pretty normal. So for me, it was
never a thing. And if someone had a problem with it,
that's your problem. Was never my problem, So I never
thought twice about any of it.

Speaker 2 (21:30):
Well, what about having a little being? You know, like
any parents? Oh?

Speaker 4 (21:34):
Okay, like, how will it be for that?

Speaker 2 (21:36):
Yeah, because any parent in the world, as far as
I know, here's the thing with me about having children.
I can go out and do anything I want to do,
and if I get hurt doing what I want to do, yeah,
that's my bad.

Speaker 1 (21:46):
Yea.

Speaker 2 (21:46):
If I'm decided to drink and drive, ain't nobody to
blame but me. I don't care what happens to any
one of our little beings. We say, why didn't you
do that to me? I don't care if they fall
and bust their lip or they get an illness. Yeah, right,
we go, God, why didn't happen to me? And then
you have somebody who is Obviously we all think every

(22:10):
one of our children most beautiful. But yeah, there's a
couple of people in this world who don't. And you
know that you'll deal with the heartache those playgrounds. Sometimes
they say it. In the playgrounds, they say whatever, and
because those kids may have an upbringing of a person
that doesn't understand that. How do you do that? How
do you face that and know I'm going to do

(22:31):
that when you didn't have to have that choice?

Speaker 4 (22:33):
Though that is true.

Speaker 1 (22:35):
Well, luckily there are so many interracial relationships right now,
and there are so many mixed children right now. That's
the positive part of it. I feel like it's a
whole other generation, a whole other race of children that
are coming up right now.

Speaker 2 (22:53):
Think of another issue, because remember where she's traveling anywhere? Like, yeah,
you know, I mean you know, well she's eighteen nineteen traveling.

Speaker 1 (23:00):
Yeah, No, there's been I mean even as a small child,
you know, she's definitely come to me and mentioned, you know,
kids say something to her about the color of her
skin and hair.

Speaker 2 (23:12):
So curly is your hair?

Speaker 4 (23:16):
Wasn't kids stuff?

Speaker 1 (23:17):
And for me, you know, I just think like she
was so young, it's nothing to that I dug into
at that age. But other than to say, oh, if
they want to touch your hair, they have to ask permission.
That's that's number one thing. They have to ask permission.
They can't just touch your hair and say, oh.

Speaker 4 (23:35):
I like your hair. It's curly. It's this, it's that
ask permission. You know.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
I'm not going to sit there and say like I
have all the right answers, because I recognize I am
white and I am not a black woman. And I
have friends who are opposite with their mixed children. It's
the black mother and the white father and they have
a whole other you know. Way, yeah, we have a
couple that, but.

Speaker 2 (24:00):
Let's talk about it. When we were looking at the
Molchlora twins and the beautiful part of Miko was is
a fan. She said, oh, their mommy and dad, Like
I said, their mommy and daddy looked like you guys.
I was like, oh, he looks like me. He's handsome
and devon here and I go. And she was just
relating it too, you know how they both beautful. Actually

(24:23):
he's actually a pretty handsome guy. I can't And she's
smoking hot.

Speaker 4 (24:27):
You see, she got the crazy body. She is, okaymy
with the crazy body.

Speaker 2 (24:32):
Mom she you see, I can say anything I want to. Actually,
I have something I call up my white people, like,
listen what I just saw. She was like, okay, well
I need to get some bread. No, actually, you don't
need the carbs. I need to get some gluten free bread, Damon.

Speaker 4 (24:45):
Just you just don't.

Speaker 2 (24:48):
We were out one time, and yes, sometimes I see
people looking funny at us and and and then like
I'll have a hoodie on ill just just like this,
and they're looking funny until they and they go, oh hey, damon, John.

Speaker 1 (25:04):
I was just going to make that point. It doesn't
count because you're a celebrity.

Speaker 4 (25:08):
It doesn't but it doesn't count. It's just like you're
in your own.

Speaker 2 (25:11):
Right, in my own bracket, but all those who aren't.
But I remember, I think we were one place and
these guys are looking at and we don't know why
people look. Maybe they noticed me, Yeah, maybe they're looking
at some of the amazing features that you have your eyes.
Of course, I remember you saying to me, no, I

(25:31):
know that look. They were white males. You were like
that's you said something like, that's the look of you
discuss me? How dare you looking at you?

Speaker 4 (25:44):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (25:46):
Is there a look? Yeah?

Speaker 4 (25:48):
I mean yeah, definitely been in situations like that.

Speaker 2 (25:52):
How many times have you been in a room where
there were no African Americans and people felt that they
can talk freely and they were using the N word,
and they weren't there and it was no rapping. No,
they weren't talking about in a rap lad they had
no idea.

Speaker 1 (26:08):
Yeah, I most certainly have been in situations and rooms
like that where yeah, they were using the N word
and saying things that are super racist, not knowing that
I was with you, and this would be many, many
years ago.

Speaker 2 (26:22):
And what it would you do with those people? Do
you put a mental note and go it's.

Speaker 4 (26:28):
It's it's you download it and you walk away, and.

Speaker 5 (26:31):
You walk away, and you walk away.

Speaker 1 (26:50):
And you walk away because there's nothing that I can
say that's going to change how they feel. And I
just look at it like I don't want to be
around you. I'm not going to sit there and challenge
you on this at this smallment. You did your own
grade because if you said it in front of me,
not knowing how many other people in other rooms have
you been in doing that?

Speaker 4 (27:06):
You figure that out on it.

Speaker 2 (27:07):
Now, let's still the flip side of it. You a
white woman, you straight white. You ain't trying to be hip,
you ain't trying to be nothing. I remember I throw
a birthday party and I remember you going. So let
me get this straight. The guest listen, is Mookie, Pooky,
big Stuff, tut grim cat right, all of my buddies,

(27:30):
lat lat You were like, you don't know any Derek's, David's, Bob's, Michelle's,
Michelle's right, Heather right. But how many times have you
been someplace things are not going your way? Naturally, because
you were upset for the right reasons, you automatically become
perceived as a out of control Karen, just for vocalizing

(27:55):
the fact that you weren't happy.

Speaker 4 (27:57):
Like I've never been obnoxious.

Speaker 2 (27:59):
Like that of naxos like that. But immediately you know,
you know, but I get to tell you, you know, as
an African American man, especially with African American women, whenever
they have any kind of issue, if they even vocalize
any form of this, you know, like they're not happy.
Oh this is that the black woman with an attitude?

(28:20):
You can't even say listen.

Speaker 1 (28:21):
But if that was a woman, it's a white woman
with privilege, yes, exactly.

Speaker 4 (28:26):
So you know, it's on both ends.

Speaker 2 (28:28):
It's the same thing.

Speaker 1 (28:28):
It's the same thing we both and and everybody talks
you know a s h I t on both ends
about that having privilege or this black woman has an attitude.

Speaker 4 (28:37):
Who does she thinks she.

Speaker 2 (28:38):
Is Yeah, and she can't. She can't be mad at anything.
And you can't be mad at all. Get pissed off
that moment, you know you'll do you ever have to say.
I can't do that here. I want to I want
to just hope because I go through the same thing.
You know how many times I want to say something.
You know it's going to be damon.

Speaker 4 (28:57):
John, Absolutely talk down to me this person.

Speaker 2 (29:02):
My food was two hours late.

Speaker 4 (29:04):
Absolutely, absolutely.

Speaker 1 (29:06):
I you know, sometimes you just got you need to
know when to just shut it and walk away. I mean,
do we need to talk about the other day at
the restaurant or not?

Speaker 2 (29:15):
Really whatever?

Speaker 4 (29:17):
When I was being filmed, filmed.

Speaker 2 (29:19):
Because I took you. So I took you to one
of my favorite restaurants in the world, the Guyanese restaurant
called Sibyls in New York on Liberty Avenue, right near
where I grew up, where I used to do my
van driving and everything like this. This place is the
one of the best Caribbean places ever and they are
so amazing in there. We go in there and you

(29:40):
know you have been with me. I'm half Trinidadian we've
been around the world. You in there looking in there
going oh, well, you know, man, I want the baked chicken.
I know you like jerk chicken, whatever the case is.
And of course jerk chicken. Yeah, there's some sodium in it,
but it's not fried. And all you're looking, oh, I
want this and that. And there was a woman. There
was two African American couples and there but one woman

(30:04):
was filming you.

Speaker 4 (30:05):
Yes she was. She was filming me.

Speaker 2 (30:07):
She was filming you probably and listen, we don't want
to assume. Maybe she was like, oh, that's Heather, or
maybe she was like, look at this white girl in here,
trying to pick up some Jamaican royalty bust up shot doubles.

Speaker 1 (30:20):
There could have been many different reasons she was filming me,
And at first I didn't want to blame her.

Speaker 4 (30:25):
The only way to.

Speaker 1 (30:27):
Kind of react to her filming me, the alleged filming,
was I just gave her a death stare to just
ruin her filming. So I just stared at her. You know,
I'm not going to do that, look now. But after
she left like she had a smirk interface so I
was pretty certain that she was filming me. So then
after she left, some other woman comes up. She another couple.
She's just like, I cannot believe the automa.

Speaker 2 (30:49):
One African American Caribbean.

Speaker 1 (30:51):
Yeah, she was standing behind her. She's confirmed she was filming.
She's I can't believe the audacity. She was filming you
like that. And I was like, thank you for confirming that,
because she's like, if Lukes could kill well, the look
that you gave her camera, she can't do nothing with that,
and I'm like exactly. So she was super cool and
we ended up talking for a really long time, but
she just like, I don't know what she thought she
was trying to do to you, or you know what

(31:12):
she's trying to get out of that, And I'm like, yeah,
it's like and sometimes I don't know, are they filming
me because I'm with you because we're in a racial
Is it because that's Damon John from Shark Tank? But
she was filming me? Is it because I was saying
why they put so much rights on my platter? Because
I was She's saying, oh, this is my girl's beefing.

Speaker 4 (31:28):
She's beefing. Well I kind of was, but in a
nice way.

Speaker 2 (31:33):
That much, right, And you didn't want to waste the
food because there are people in need.

Speaker 1 (31:36):
Yeah, so I don't know what it was, but whatever,
so that happened. And another topic that you always say,
what I'm saying it's absolutely true, is that when we're
driving and I'm quick to make a turn on yellow
and you're like, I don't do that. Yeah, I stop
and I wait, or if I get pulled over, I'm
willing to have a whole discussion with the officer where

(31:58):
you're just like, I'm gonna mind my business and shut
my mouth.

Speaker 4 (32:00):
I'm like, nope, why are you doing this?

Speaker 1 (32:02):
And I questioned them because I know I can, so yes,
that is the privilege, and I know that I can
sore's sometimes in those situations.

Speaker 4 (32:08):
I do take advantage of that, of course.

Speaker 1 (32:10):
And I think that is a balance of our relationship,
like to speak up sometimes when things are not okay.
Like I understand if I'm with someone who who is
black and they kind of can't say anything because they're
afraid to because they're you know, the way that the
police brutality and all these things going on, Like I understand,
if I was in a position too, I should up. Therefore,
you're with me I'm gonna speak up. But then again,

(32:32):
you're on ABC and Shark Tank and you're famous, so they're.

Speaker 4 (32:34):
Like, are you on Shark Tank?

Speaker 1 (32:36):
We sit there and watch you at the station all
the time. So then again it doesn't count, right.

Speaker 2 (32:40):
But you know what I think it is being is
being self aware and reading the room right. They're reading
the room is that we can't change the world. We
can only change the way we respond to it. And
I think that you and I did get into a
debate one day. It was like, damon, it wasn't a yellow,
there was no turn. There was an arrow, and the

(33:01):
arrow supposed to go on generally. I turned that thing too.
It's a place right next to our house. Yeah, and
I always turned no matter what, whant to see, no
traffic company. We're in a very very nice car. I
saw a cop coming down and I would have turned
right after him if the arrow was there. The arrow
wasn't there, and he passes by nobody's beyond. You're like, turn, no, turn,

(33:25):
no turn, no? Why you would have turned?

Speaker 4 (33:30):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (33:31):
Me?

Speaker 2 (33:32):
He saw me, didn't know necessarily who I was. Nice car,
African American. If I would have made that turn, he
could have easily turned back around and said, listen, you
don't know where that would have went to. Now, personally,
I don't think it would have went anywhere, but I
also don't have the fifteen twenty minutes to sit there
to say, hey, don't.

Speaker 5 (33:52):
You know me?

Speaker 2 (33:53):
And for that reason, I'm out, don't you know me?
Like you know? And we don't have time for that.
But that was but it is at understanding, and now
let's talk about the beautiful things in life that I love.
How many women of color have said to you, I

(34:13):
see that beautiful baby you have or that relationship you have,
and you have a lot of dear princes who said
I got you anything you need to know about raising
that beautiful little girl, I got you. You know, we
have our Simons of the world. We have a Cyndi's
of the world, and the Colds or even Leslie. In
the beginning, it was like, I don't know. She wasn't
thinking about color because she used to be white married
to a white man. She was like, I don't know

(34:35):
if you're going to be that one. But after that,
how many women and people of color have said, I
just love you and I know what you're doing with
this young, beautiful being yeah and we got you.

Speaker 4 (34:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:49):
I think it's kind of an unspoken thing. I don't
think there's been any like many too many direct conversations
about it. I just know if I have a question,
I can, And yes, I've spoken to a few of
our friends about it here and there couple that come
to mind mentioned it and share similar stories or questions
when the kids come home and ask certain things, and
how do you handle that?

Speaker 4 (35:10):
Yeah, I mean a lot of it's really no stress.

Speaker 1 (35:13):
I mean I think it's yet to come though, also
because she's so young, and I think it's going to
kick into high gear probably in the next maybe like
five years, if you of the more.

Speaker 2 (35:25):
Yeah, no, we know, listen, life is going to present itself.
But what I love, what I love to highlight is
how many people we have of all colors in our
life that are very very support to say I'm here
because I can't. I can't. I can't tell you necessarily
how to raise a young woman of any color.

Speaker 4 (35:42):
Yeah, you knows. I like about our life.

Speaker 1 (35:45):
I think that everyone around us is a mixture of
backgrounds colors, especially for our daughter to see that that
it's no big deal, it's nothing because.

Speaker 2 (35:58):
There are a lot. There are a lot of people
right now who fear being with somebody or bringing them
home due to their family's beliefs, due to society's beliefs.
And to me, if it is the person that you
will be the closest to you and love you, and
that person will die for you if they're your significant other,

(36:18):
those who are fearing what a whole bunch of other
people are saying right now or believe in, what would
you say to those people, Because you either have to
do this, either live by everybody else's rules and standards
and give up potential love and happiness for the rest
of your life, or have love and potential happiness rest
your life and give up a bunch of people that

(36:39):
have opinions that it doesn't matter or even does matter.
That could be your mother, Sorry, ma, I love this woman.
I love that man.

Speaker 1 (36:47):
Don't live for other people. That's the thing that I
would say. You don't live for other people. Live for
yourself to find out what makes you happy, because you
know you live ones and you know you don't know
what you're going to be missing out on. A really
good relationship, really good friendship, potential job.

Speaker 2 (37:08):
Yeah, all right, I want I got one last question
for you about that moment. I wanted to surprise you,
and I know I ended up finding out I screwed up.
I didn't tell anybody, I don't think. I think I
told one or two people. And I wanted to propose
to you on the biggest stage in the world. We
didn't air it, but I said, hey, you know, can

(37:31):
you sit in the chair? You know, while we're doing
some stuff. They want to see how a bunch of
women feel sitting in the chair. And you had the baby,
I think she was about eight months old months six
months old, and you sat in the shark tank chair
and I come down the hallway and I sit there
and I proposed to you right there on the set.
And I think you yelled at me later on because
you said that I should have told people. Why should
I have told people prior to like your girlfriends or

(37:54):
something else? Because you had to get because you were
looking beautiful. As far as I'm concerned.

Speaker 4 (37:59):
Well, what do you mean like people who were not there?

Speaker 2 (38:01):
You were like, oh, I'm on a national television one
most famous sits in the world. I had to get
my hair and my nails.

Speaker 1 (38:10):
Well, first of all, I was six months postpartum. I
was not feeling very good about myself and the way
that it was, you know, dressed up to me. Yeah, whatever.
So it was set up to me that it was
just like a you know, still shot. It was some
still shots. So I was like, okay, so I'm just

(38:31):
going to be sitting down in this chair. And so
when it happened, I was kind of like really shocked
because our lives are so private. I'm like, why the
heck would he be doing this on this set of
Shark Tank, you know what I mean. So I was
really like thrown off by that. And then I was like, wow,
you didn't even tell Patrician Ray. And they were literally

(38:52):
that day switching planes at Lax because they were going
to Hawaii. But that's just another side note. They were
the only people missing. You've got like a lot of
other people there. That Nicole, my friend Nicole. She we
were staying there, and that mom when.

Speaker 2 (39:07):
I proposed to Mommy, you was sitting in her chair,
and I have no idea they when you said yes,
they popped off confetti. She was about six months You
know what you did. I don't know if you were
if you were crying, because she said yes, and you
were like, I know you, my daddy, but I don't

(39:29):
want them to be here forever. I have plans with
other daddies.

Speaker 1 (39:33):
Any attention you would get when you were a baby,
Fried and we started singing Happy.

Speaker 4 (39:38):
Birthday to you their liquid start Charley.

Speaker 2 (39:41):
Yeah, every time that we sing happy birthday to you
when you were a little it's my birthday and I'm
gonna cry. God damn it, I do one.

Speaker 4 (39:50):
But for the first three years, or for you the
first three years.

Speaker 2 (39:53):
Anyway, I love you, I love mommy, and I love
everybody who follows us and watches us. And thank you
for being the lead role on Roam with three sixty
and all my commercials that I drag you in. We'll
get we'll do another one of these. We'll talk about
how you took the huge stage like ten X. You
surprised me on Shark Tank a couple of weeks ago
for somebody who's not a public person. Mommy, Mommy steps

(40:15):
up to the to the to the plate, and I
don't know how you do it? All right?

Speaker 4 (40:21):
Do it anyway?

Speaker 2 (40:22):
All right?

Speaker 5 (40:22):
Well?

Speaker 2 (40:22):
They have that's that moment with uh miss John and
Miga jag of John uh and uh and yeah, I
thank you for spending this time with us, baby, and
and and giving people you know, the the you know,
the insight on your experience in our relationship, whether a
public person, mixed relationship.

Speaker 4 (40:40):
Mom, happy to be here. Thank you for including me
all right, Thank you, love.

Speaker 5 (40:45):
You, love you.

Speaker 2 (40:50):
That Moment with Damon John is a production of the
Black Effect Podcast Network. For more podcasts from the Black
Effect Podcast Network, visit the iHeartRadio Apple Podcasts or wherever
you listen to your favorite show, and don't forget to
subscribe to and rate the show. And of course you
can all connect with me on any of my social

(41:11):
media platforms. At the Shark, Damon spelt like Raymond, But
what a d
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

Dateline NBC
Stuff You Should Know

Stuff You Should Know

If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.

The Nikki Glaser Podcast

The Nikki Glaser Podcast

Every week comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced, and brutally honest look into current pop-culture and her own personal life.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2024 iHeartMedia, Inc.