July 17, 2023 • 45 mins
When you're The Best Podcast Ever, you need to have The Best First Guest Ever! And so, with that in mind, Raven and Mirana sit down with singer, songwriter, activist and all-around megastar, Demi Lovato, to talk about whatever word the wheel lands on. What does Demi consider a healthy relationship? Who said I love you first: her or her boyfriend, Jutes? What does she do to stay calm and level-headed? And will she win a new 5-in-1 blender? Find out this and more by listening to Raven & Miranda's first podcast interview!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:17):
I thought that was my whole body to day. Yes,
welcome back to the best podcast ever with.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Raven and Miranda.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
That's right, we.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Are back in effect, kick in a laugh.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
What's your go to Chinese food order?
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Oh? I haven't had Chinese food so long because of
all of the extra ingredients they put in it. But
if I was to order right now, it would be
walnut shrimp, crab fried rice, and a crab ragoon with
a side of Tai ti because sometimes they like to
serve titia at Chinese restaurants.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
What's yours? What's a crab ragoon?
Speaker 3 (00:56):
A crab ragoon is a fried wantan filled with cream
and crab.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Never heard it bout it?
Speaker 3 (01:03):
You've Oh you never had a crab ragoon? You dip
it in the sweet and sour sauce first of all,
cheap version. I'm glad you don't have them either.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
I don't have them, and I don't like them.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
It's okay, they don't. Probably don't like you either.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Actually had an STD? No, never had an STD? Have you?
Speaker 4 (01:22):
No? Good for you?
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Good for you?
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Thank you?
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I were married that part.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
It's really important you have an STD. It's very common
and it's normal and it's okay.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Too, yeah, just saying, just saying that and go get checked.
I didn't know that when you go to your healthcare
professional for that area, especially for a female, you have
to ask to be checked for sexually transmitted diseases. It
doesn't just come with the PAP smear like you actually
have to ask for it to be in your labs.
I thought it came naturally. That's just some shit you
(01:50):
should just check in general. Didn't we have problems with
that In England a million years ago everybody was getting
chlamydia some shit like that.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Oh, I don't know, who knows.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Human sometimes are just a big bowl of germs spreading
to the next human.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Anyway, So who non taste? If you know, you know
that was my shit.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
I have no idea place in La so good on Peko.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
It was like my childhood Chinese spot.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
I used to get bean curd tofu in a brown sauce.
I love what you called it, bean curd, that's what
they called it, bean curd with broccoli.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
So good.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
And I also was obsessed with the mushoe chicken.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Mushoe chicken like in the Mulan. Yeah yummy, Yeah, who
is that girl lassies me eating mushoe.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I was obsessed with it because it was like a pancake. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
They had plum sauce and hoist and sauce and it
was divine.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
That sounds like the most amazing Chinese food meal, and
I kind of missed Chinese food, like I missed the
nostalgia of bringing it to the house, the sweats after
the television show, watch after it was just like comfort
food for me.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Well, you know you referenced Mulan, yeah a few seconds ago,
which got me thinking because I think that Christina Aguilera.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Was the voice.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Yeah, no, no, no, she was on the soundtrack. She wasn't
the voice of Mulan. She sang the song. No no,
she's saying she's sang it not you rude.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
But I'm gonna say this, there is literally one other person,
I think, on this planet who has the voice that
can hit me in the way that Christina's does.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Let me tell you about my wife. She is a
fucking mastermind.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
I'm just gonna say it's really true.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
It's like Christina has that thing, and there's really one
other person that comes to mind instantly. I'm sure if
I sat here longer and talked about it.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
I have to be honest, I think there's a group
of women that have that strong voice, and the person
that you're talking about sits in that group of women.
I mean Shaka Khan, you know, and then you have
people in that in today's.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
World as well.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
But like this person that is coming on the show
today has one of the strongest voices of our generation.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Without a doubt, and started well, not started, but it
also was under the Disney umbrella.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Yeah, under the Disney umbrella. Started, actually started under a
purple umbrella. Do you know what I'm talking about? Oh?
Speaker 1 (04:16):
And even before that started under like a hair spray
umbrella because pageants.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Oh that's right, there was a hairspray umbrella. Interesting. She
is one of the most chameleon artists of our time.
She always keeps her fans on their toes with information.
She loves keeping it real, keeping it honest.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
And honestly and getting to know her more. I'm like
so kind, so kind, so sweet, so sweet, so down
for the cause, like clearly wants to have great conversations,
make an impact, has been out in the public and
willing to kind of share her truth, bear her soul,
(05:00):
make mistakes, and then learn from them.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
She's growing, She's growing up in front of her eyes
and not apologizing for it, like she's so sorry, not sorry.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
I mean, And if that wasn't the biggest fucking tell you, guys,
put your hands together for.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Demi lov Yeah, clap in your car, do it?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Demn the girl?
Speaker 4 (05:23):
All right, let's do this, babes.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Timmy Levada is here.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Do you have anything that you've always wanted to ask her?
Speaker 1 (05:32):
She's just putting me on the spot in such a
weird way. No, I actually have really enjoyed getting to
know you and have conversation with you, and I think
you're incredibly This is not a question, but this is
just a comment. I think you're incredibly smart and interesting
and kind, and I'm I like it, and I'm excited
for our future hangs and like I want to, I
(05:53):
want our painting date to happen. That's right, we're.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Supposed to be having a painting date.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
Well, first of all, thank you, that's really really sweet.
And then second of all, I actually just got a
mister you know, the mister you were using. I bought
it on Amazon so I can end watercolor paints. I
went to Michael's and I got watercolors, so I'm gonna
start painting.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Stop it, demmy, stop it.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
First of all, I'm mad at you because you should
have called me out, have told you that you needed
a single pigment watercolor anyway, what'd you buy?
Speaker 4 (06:23):
I don't know. I bought like a little you know,
tray that you put the paints on. Haltlett. Okay, I
got that. I got some canvases, and then I got
just a box of watercolor pants.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
So I love you to death.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
You have to make sure you get watercolor paper because
watercolor doesn't stick to canvas. It does, but it takes
a little bit of a ground. So you should have
waited on me, bestie.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
So here's the deal.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
I'm gonna send you a watercolor palette. I'm gonna send
you a link to the right watercolor paper that you
can try out. I'm so happy for you. Watercolor is
something that I do you morning, noon and night, and
I can't wait to help you if you let me.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
I think we should have a class.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
Yeah, that would be so fun.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
I think we have a class.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Top I raven And this is what I was saying
to her. I was like, really, we should do it,
because I think it's an interesting It's like there's so
many things that can happen in that it's a therapeutic moment,
but you're also like having to think because there's an
education behind it.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Right.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
You can have like the free form and just go
for it, but there's also technique and structure that you
can implement if you want to. So I think it
would be I think it would just be fun.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
For all of us.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
You really spark up when you talk about painting. What
do you like about it?
Speaker 4 (07:39):
You know, when we painted the other day, it just like,
really it taught me that I don't my perfectionism went
out the window. Perfectionism is something that controls so much
of my life, you know, when it comes to body image,
when it comes to my craft and my work, and
so to be able to throw that out the window
(08:00):
and say I'm just gonna enjoy whatever comes of this,
that was so freeing and I want and I'm chasing
that feeling. I want to get that feeling again.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Do you have other things in your life that you
do to relieve stress or feel that way or has
painting really been like the first experience.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
Working out for me is something that relieves stress and
really helps with anxiety. I also do jiu jitsu hell ya,
So that is something that I love to do and
is really freeing for me. I also, you know, meditation.
(08:40):
I don't do it enough, but when I do, it
helps with anxiety and relieve stress. And then of course
just playing music.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
But let's get back to the jiu jitsu, because it's
just not okay, this is jiu jitsu. I don't know
what the fuck that is, so can you.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
I think it means more than anything that you could
kick the.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Shit out of us.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Yeah for sure.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Is this a true or false statement?
Speaker 4 (09:03):
Probably? Yeah? Cool? Yeah, I just wanted to start there.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
Yeah, let's start. Let's start a kicking our ass. Now,
just tell me a little bit about it and how
you got into it.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
Well, do you ever watch or have you ever seen
a UFC fight?
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Hell yeah?
Speaker 4 (09:17):
So you know when they're on the ground and they're grappling, yes,
that's a jiu jitsu. And also there's you know, there's
a little bit of wrestling in it. There's the takedowns
that you can do, but it's it's really the it's
not the punching and the kicking, it's really the rest
of the fighting that they do. And I got into
(09:40):
it because I went to this gym where a lot
of actually a lot of MMA and UFC fighters were
training at and I started doing kickboxing and then like
a little bit of muay Thai. And then while I
was training my my trainer, there was like, you should
really get into jiu jitsu. I think you would love it.
(10:00):
And I tried it and I fell in love with it,
and so it's been off to the races ever since.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
But like, who's your I don't know if you called
your sparring because you're wrestling with like in boxing, Like
who's your sparring partner? Is it your trainer? You got
other like girls you be pinning down and be like bitch,
I'm dimmy bitch, Like what do you do? Like who
do you fight?
Speaker 4 (10:21):
It's my trainer? I do like privates And so that's
another way that you can accelerate faster, is you know,
training with a trainer or an instructor and is the
proper term. And so I have been just working with
him and and it's been fun.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Well, if you ever need a sparring partner, Miranda's available
for you.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Oh my god, no, I'm not I'll play you my
experience with anything in that world, which is I saw
the movie enough. Do you guys remember of course we
all saw j Loo and she trained in Krav magaw
for that movie. And after seeing that movie, I was like,
(11:09):
oh my god, I have to be like j Loo,
And so I started going to a Krav magag gym
and I needed a partner, so I made my mom
come as well. And if you, Debbie, you don't know
my mom, but Craven obviously does.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
And it's incorrect.
Speaker 4 (11:23):
This is immediately stop.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Do not invite her mom to a She's.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
The type of person who like is like, oh my gosh,
So it's like trying to get her to hit anything
or be kind of like in that mentality.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Just so not it was incorrect.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
But I thought Krav Magod was really cool, and I
did it for like two times, or I like went
to two classes and then was over it. But I
do have a real respect for martial arts in general,
and the amount of kind of like detail and in
discipline discipline that martial arts requires.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Is something else.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
It's a real like mind body spirit connection.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
And I feel like that mirror is kind of what
you do in your career, Like what you have made
your career into requires discipline, and so I like the
fact that you found that mirror of a sport to
do that with. I mean, has there ever been a
moment and not like the typical like I don't want
to do this anymore, but literally you've like set down,
(12:32):
be like I'm so fucking tired. I just need to
stop for a second because the discipline is too much
to uphold.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
Yeah. I mean There's been a lot of times in
my career where I've kind of taken a step back
and said I need a break. Whether it's when you're
on the road and you start to get burnt out
because touring is really hard, or you're just working a lot.
You know, There's been a lot of times in my
career where I've said I need to take a second
(13:03):
and slow things down a little bit. And I have
and I've slowed things down and I've taken breaks. But yeah,
that's pretty much.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
I took a break for three years demmy, I said
fuck this, I'm retiring. It was one of the best
things I ever did, and then I started to go
to art school. So if you did take a break,
what would you do in that time, Like, what do
you think that career would be for Dimmie the Botto
if he wasn't a songwriter singer.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
You know what's funny is I was thinking about this
the other day. I was like, I wish I could
take a week off just to see friends.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Oh and fill.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
Up my schedule just with social activities, because there's so
much of my time that's filled right now. It's just
jam packed and I don't have time to see a
bunch of friends. But so I was thinking, I wish
I could take a week off just to see friends.
And I think if I took eight years off, I
would probably I would maybe want to go to maybe
(14:05):
film school. That's something that really piques my interest. I
would also, I mean art school would be dope too,
because I have this new found love for painting. Nothing
about But I would also I would focus on jiu jitsu.
I would focus on just spending time with the people
(14:28):
I love and really just do that, do whatever makes
me happy. I love being out in the sun, but
laying out by the pool, like, so I'd spend a
lot of time at the beach.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Probably love that My wife thinks that the sun is
personally out to get her. Oh no, yeah, she doesn't.
She curses the sun on.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
A daily basis.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
I'm very fair, and I don't enjoy the sun.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
I am not.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
And it's weird because I'm a Leo and I think
that people always think like, oh, if you're an August
or a summer baby or a Leo in particular, like
you have to love the sun, and I just don't
love it at all. Like, but I also don't love
freezing temperatures or anything.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
But I just like don't want to be in the sun.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
My boyfriend is very fair, and so he kind of
feels the same way. And I'm always like, let's a
layout by have a pool day, and he's like, but
I'm gonna get some burned.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
That's how I feel.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
And I'm I'm all for it, Like I want a
pool day, Like I'm totally down to come to your
house and have a pool day with you. DEMI yes,
like one hundred percent there, But I just.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Want to be in the shade. My friend can just
like chill in the shade of the capana.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
I want a fan.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
I don't know how I feel about that. I mean,
keep him on a leash, real tight because my wife
over here saying I wanted to share with your boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
I don't like it, and just chill with what I want, saying,
you guys can be in the sun and we're going
to be over here in the shade.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Where did you meet your boyfriend?
Speaker 4 (15:53):
We met in the studio stop We actually we had
a songwriting setsion and he walked in and I was
just smitten immediately. But we didn't tell each other how
we felt for one another for a couple months, and
(16:13):
we built that foundation of a friendship, and I think
that's really important when you get into a relationship with someone.
Even though we didn't like we weren't thinking about a relationship.
We just became friends. Because after the studio we wrote
actually one of my singles. We worked really well together
in the studio songwriting, and leaving that session, I was like,
(16:39):
I want to know him, Like obviously I'm attracted to
but I want to know him, like even if I
can just be his friend, Like I just want to
be his friend because he's so special and that energy
was so magnetic.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
What's one of the things that he holds as a
virtue or a characteristic that really makes you smile?
Speaker 4 (17:01):
Oh my god, my face, honeyasy that face she just
now you know what, something that I really appreciate about
him is his loyalty, Like he's so loyal and trustworthy,
and that's something that you don't really find a lot
of when you're in our positions, and you know, we
(17:24):
we are constantly trying to assess out who we can
trust and who we can't. And I think it was
so comforting with him to know that I could trust him,
and and it just yeah, I mean, and he makes
me laugh. He makes me laugh so much. We're just
constantly laughing together. And I think that's really important too,
(17:46):
so important.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Do you find have you found that it's like difficult
to create balance between like working with your partner. Raven
and I get asked that question all the time because
we're obviously married, but we were together and people are like.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
How do you do it?
Speaker 1 (18:02):
And I don't know how often you too, have worked
together since you started dating, But do you are you
interested in leaning more into that? Do you have hesitations?
Have you already done that? I mean outside of the
writing that you've done together.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
I love to work with him. I'd love to sing
with him, like I love his voice. He's such a
great singer, so he's a songwriter, but he's primarily an
artist by jutes And yeah, I would love to sing
with him. We've talked about it before, so we already
worked really well in the studio together. We make really
(18:36):
great songs that I'm really proud of.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Are you guys public?
Speaker 4 (18:40):
Yeah? We're public.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Oh I'm late, I'm sorry. I'm like, who it is?
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Who are you talking to?
Speaker 4 (18:46):
I post him on my socials all the time? Got it?
Got it?
Speaker 3 (18:50):
If you are not a watercolor video, I'm probably not watching,
So forgive me.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Tom.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Oh, I'm glad that's happened for you. Did he say
I love you first? Guys even said it.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
They've totally said it. Look at those eyes. They've said
it and.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
We've been together for over a year. I think it
was like a I think it may have been me.
I think I may have said it first. I think
I was like, I really like you and I'm in
like with you, and I was like, okay, I'm in
love with you.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
That's so cute. I love that.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
What does he smell like?
Speaker 4 (19:27):
He smells so good. He wears this cologne. I don't remember.
It's like Marziella, but like, I don't remember the exact
But then when he's when he's not wearing cologne, he
just smells like home. I can't explain it, but he
smells like home.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
What do you smell like?
Speaker 4 (19:43):
I wear a vanilla Antique and by Rado.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Okay, I knew it. Okay the first time, you know,
and I give you a hug. I was like, first,
I got the vanilla right away, but then I was
trying to figure it out because I of smell and
scent and it's very distinct, but it mixes with you
in a different way like I would. It's your vanillay,
but you're also there's a little bit of musk in there,
(20:12):
and it's very warm.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
There's a little bit of spice. You have, You have
a yet you got she got a smell. She gotta smell.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
And I think it's important that your partner compliments your
smell on the pheromones, lifestyle and and everything. I just
want to just change gears for two seconds, because you
have done some amazing work recently in revamping one of
your fucking smashes into a rock song sorry not sorry,
(20:41):
like a full on fucking bop, and you know, you're
doing a full revamped album of all of your bops. Like,
I don't know anybody who's done that before. People normally
do it on tour, but the album this is like
you two type shit. How does it feel to be
in a category?
Speaker 2 (21:00):
And what made you want to do this? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (21:02):
Well, thank you, first of all. And second, I was
actually on tour last year and I released an album
called Holy Fuck, and all of the songs were rock,
and so when it came time to make my tour setlist,
I was like, how am I gonna fit Hard Attack,
Sorry Not Sorry, and Cool for the Summer into this
(21:25):
rock set. Yeah, we vamped the songs and so I
did that on the road, and then when I was
on the road, the fans reacted really strongly to it,
and I was like, I need to just release these.
I think it would be so sick to release these
as an album. So that's what I did, and that's
what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
I love that for her. Cool for the Summer is
probably one of the most addictive songs in the world.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
I literally it's so bizarre.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Like I will just be like walking around and I
like Cool for the Summer.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
What I'm not.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
It's just it's we Also, we also place that sentence
in inanimate objects that obviously don't talk, like or are dogs.
Like the dog that's like sprinting down the street.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
He's like he's.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Obviously listening to cool for the summer in his head,
like like.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Oh, she's cool for the summer.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Like We're at Erewon the other day and I'm like,
do you want this drink?
Speaker 2 (22:16):
It's cool for the summer.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Like it's so weird, how it just like it does
pop in in a very weird way, a very beautiful way, yeah,
but also kind of weird.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Here's the deal, dem You're on the best podcast ever
and we do this little thing on the podcast where
we spin a wheel. It's going to generate a random
word none of us know, and then we're gonna have
to talk about it. So are you down to spin?
Speaker 4 (22:48):
I'm so ready.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
And the wood is.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
Boundaries.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Boundary.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
I like this word.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (23:02):
I have none.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
How many boundaries do so? Andrew Raven has so many boundaries.
Speaker 3 (23:07):
I don't have that many.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Oh my gosh, she has so many boundaries.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Anyway, it's not about you. Boundaries. What do we think
about them?
Speaker 3 (23:15):
I mean, there's fences there, you know, do you feel.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Like you have healthy boundaries?
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Me?
Speaker 4 (23:22):
Yeah, I feel like I have healthy boundaries. I've had
to learn how to set boundaries and I still am
learning how to keep them. You know, sometimes I'm kind
of a people pleaser, and so I don't stand up
for myself twenty four to seven of like, say someone
makes a mistake on my team or something like that.
(23:47):
Sometimes it's hard for me to be the boss and
be like hey and put my foot down. Every time
I don't say something, or if someone does something that's
triggering to me, it's easier for me to push it
off to the side and say I'm fine, you know,
it didn't bother me that bad, when in reality, every
(24:08):
time I do that, it stifles my power a little bit.
And so setting boundaries is so important to empower yourself,
to be able to speak up for what you need
and what is bothering you.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
But I feel like, as somebody in the industry, I
was taught not to have boundaries. I mean, how long
you've been famous, didn't you've been famous about thirty five years? Right?
Speaker 4 (24:28):
Came out fifteen years ago just the other day, Okay, So.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
Like for fifteen years, that invisible boundary of I'm a
celebrity you're not has been.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Up for you?
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Who has really?
Speaker 3 (24:42):
I mean you don't have to answer, obviously, but like,
who is really PopEd at that wall for you? Is
it someone you don't know? Is it people most close
to you?
Speaker 1 (24:50):
Like?
Speaker 3 (24:51):
Who do you feel tests you most? Tests you most well?
Speaker 1 (24:57):
You know?
Speaker 4 (24:58):
Sometimes the idea of my fan base as a whole,
I have to a part of me, you know, wants
to share everything and do everything with my fans, and
the other part of me is like you have to
have you have to keep certain things private. You know,
you're not supposed to be shared with the world twenty
(25:21):
four to seven immediately. Is so I think that my
fans as a whole, Like trying to decipher what I
want to share and what I want to keep private
has been difficult for me because I'm such an open book.
Like I've talked so openly about my struggles and what
I've been through, and there are times where I'm like, oh,
(25:43):
maybe I shouldn't have said that, And so I'm learning,
But you know, there's other there's other triggers that happen
in my in my daily life. If someone says something
that I'm not okay with you know, a random stranger
in a coffee shop or something. Do a boundary with
(26:06):
a random stranger if they say a word that I'm
not that I'm uncomfortable with, Do I set that boundary?
And it's like, yes, I set that boundary because no
matter who I'm setting the boundary with, it's important to myself.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Yeah, totally, you're honoring. That's what I was saying about,
like the accountability factors, Like you're holding yourself in a
place where you know you can walk away from an
exchange or an environment and feel good about it and
not have that like second voice in your head that's
chattering and like making you ruminate on things.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
I totally, I totally can relate to that.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
But like, where's the other side of the coin, right,
Because if we put up too many boundaries, are we
ever going to be able to fix that trigger or
not fix but kind of soften that trigger. It's like
when like somebody's afraid of spiders, right, Like, I never
go around spiders. That's my boundary for Does that feeling
(27:02):
get bigger and bigger?
Speaker 4 (27:03):
My boundaries that I'm thinking of are more like if
someone puts their hand on you and you don't know
them very well, or they they want a hug, or
you know, they're invading of your personal space. Sometimes no
all the time. If you feel uncomfortable with that, you
have to let them know, Hey, this is my personal space.
(27:25):
I'm not okay with this. Can you please stop touching me?
Speaker 3 (27:27):
So I can't hit them back their boundary? Can I
craw magral the fuck out of them? Flash jiu jitsu bitchum?
Speaker 4 (27:35):
Like there's consequences. Like it's like if I'm in a
what I was referring to at the coffee shop, if
someone says something really problematic like racist or homophobic or
against someone with disabilities, Like I'm standing up for what
(27:56):
I believe in, and I'm setting that boundary of saying, hey,
you can't say that it's not okay or so that's
basically what I'm thinking of when I think of.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
So if you heard something like that and it wasn't
directed at you, you would still feel inclined to chime
in or intervene.
Speaker 4 (28:13):
Oh yeah, definitely. I Mean that's just kind of the
person that I am, is I really stand up for
everything that I believe in and so and I'm kind
of fearless in that way too. Like I have a
song called Swine that I just released June twenty third,
and I it's about abortion rights. And you know, that's
(28:36):
a topic that's really controversial to so many people because
not everyone believes in what I believe in. But I
believe that women deserve the autonomy to make the decisions
for themselves.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
So, but that's a boundary right there, demmy right that
that's a government set of boundary that everyone has to
abide by, but not everyone wants to abide by. It's like,
that's the kind of boundary I'm talking about where it's like, no,
I'm gonna push that boundary because that has nothing to
do with that. That's your scared tactics. That's forcing yourself
on me. And that's what I love about our podcast
because the words can go anywhere and everywhere, and like,
(29:10):
that is such a beautiful boundary to bring up, because
you're gonna knock that down with that song. You're gonna
get in the heads of those people. Sorry, I just
wanted to like interject that that may mean.
Speaker 4 (29:20):
Yeah, and so it's just you know, I do things.
I stand up for things that I believe in, even
when I feel like, not everyone's going to agree with me,
and so if I'm been in a setting where I
think someone is being disrespectful to another community, I'm definitely
gonna say something because that's just who I am. Always
been that way, Yeah, I've always I've always been that
(29:42):
way from I've just always been very strong willed and opinionated,
and and I've always stood up for what I believe in. Like,
I was bullied when I was in junior high and
I was one of the first people to speak out
about being bullied, and you know, it was just it
(30:06):
was something that happened to me. But like I said,
I'm an open book and I talk about so much
of my personal journey, and so that was one of
the first things that I ever spoke out about.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Do you feel like after you share certain things, which
is clearly like authentic and your truth, and if people
don't receive you well, does it impact you? Does it
make you second guess your initial response or do you
feel really confident in it.
Speaker 4 (30:38):
It used to affect me, I think probably eight years
ago it would have affected me. But now I have
just come to accept that not everyone is going to
agree with me on everything, and that's Okay, everyone is
supposed to agree with each other. If everyone agreed with
(30:59):
each other, then we live in a really boring world.
But I think that standing up for what I believe
in is more important than worrying about ruffling somebody's feathers.
But it's interesting. I can say all of this, but
yet setting a boundary with someone that I know and
love can be difficult.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
Do you feel like you push the boundaries with your art.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
I try to definitely, speaking out for what I believe
in is really important, like I said, and visually, well,
I think sonically, I'm not a lot of people are
doing rock music right now. You know, it's it's coming,
It's kind of it started to come back, and then
now I feel like it's retrieving a little bit, like
(31:45):
it's it's not it didn't quite catch and not a
lot of people in the pop world, I should say,
there's a lot of artists out there that still make
rock music. But in the pop world it was going
in direction and now it's not. And so I feel
like me sticking with that is kind of me pushing
(32:06):
my boundaries with I guess my fans and with whoever else.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
You also push the boundaries you know against what people
wanted to brand you as at the beginning of your
music career. You know, if you stand there as a
idle slash public figure that has a multi human team
to create this brand, they set invisible boundaries of what
(32:33):
you can and cannot do. And I feel like throughout
your career you have always knocked those down within your circle,
saying no, I'm going to do this, I'm going to
do that. Was that hard for you to kind of
take your take your visual reputation of yourself back? Am
I wrong in saying that?
Speaker 4 (32:52):
Well, you know, in the beginning of my career and
when I was with Disney Channel and everything, I was
kind of I felt like I was clay fitting into
molds of what other people wanted of me, and I
didn't necessarily stand true to who I was. But I
was also a teenager trying to figure out who that was.
(33:14):
So on one hand, I could say that I was
being molded into someone I wasn't, but at the same time,
I didn't know who I was, so I was still
trying to figure out all these identities. And at one
point I think where I kind of snapped was after
a tour of being in leotards and stiletto heels and
(33:35):
all these wigs, and I just was like, this isn't me.
And now when I'm on stage, I'm definitely not in
stilettos or a leotard. And it was just this I
rejected that like hyper feminine version of myself that I
felt like I was putting on in order to please
the masses and to please those around me at the time.
(34:00):
I feel like now I definitely set a boundary with
my stylist of like, hey, this is what I'm definitely
not going to wear. Let's explore other options, and I'm
more authentic to myself now And those are boundaries that
I've had to set over time.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Where do you think you found the strength or power
to push back because that can be very hard.
Speaker 4 (34:29):
Yeah, I think I found it because you know, I
went through a lot. I went through a really dark
time in twenty eighteen, and I think when I reached
that breaking point, I came out of it and was like,
you know what, I have some work to do. I'm
not happy and something's wrong. So I had to do
(34:50):
some soul searching and I had to learn that I
was in situations before where my boundaries were non existent
because of the people that were around me, very controlling,
very manipulative, and so I felt like my voice had
been taken away. And when I came out of twenty eighteen,
(35:12):
I was like working with my therapist and she was like,
you have some boundaries to set. You have to stand
up for yourself because you've spent so many years not
standing up for yourself and letting other people make decisions
for you. And so I think doing that work with
my therapist was really important to figure out what I
needed to do in order to stay sane.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
This like, obviously it's unique to your experience. However, there
is a through line with people that are in the
industry that start very young. Right, there's that boundary that
we set for ourselves, and then there's ones slash, you know,
a pin or a boundary that they build around us
that is blocked by money, shiny things, success, fame, and
(35:56):
just easy life. And it's really difficult to either dig
a hole and crawl underneath and go down to those darkest,
deepest moments and come back up the other side of
that boundary wall, or fly on top of it and
change it. You know, we've had so many people in
the industry that have had that story of I didn't
know what I was doing, I didn't know what I
(36:17):
had to follow. What this person that I quote air
quotes semi trusted because you know, I have this, and
I have that and I have this. It's like that's
a really difficult thought process for some because like people
that are not in the industry, you know, I don't know,
maybe you were. I wasn't allowed to No, Dad, I'm
not doing that, and then slam my door and then
(36:39):
go inside and that's my boundary and I'm like seven,
Like that's not available for me on a set to
a director, you know, when he's talking to me, it's like, okay,
whatever he needs. Are like we are trained to in
a way be submissive in order to get the job done.
And I just wanted to say that that's.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Also really the murky lines.
Speaker 4 (37:00):
There was also just so much fear instilled in us
as child actors because you know that at any point
they can replace you. Yes of being replaced after working
so hard for booking that one job, you know, was
just kind of it overpowered the need to stand up
for yourself. And I think that that's really dangerous when
(37:23):
it comes to young people and adolescents because you know
that's when they're in such formative years for the rest
of their lives. Like, I'm still reworking through patterns that
were instilled in me as a child actor or a teenager.
I'm still reworking and reprogramming myself to be able to
(37:44):
stand up for myself when I need to. And setting
boundaries with strangers is so much easier than setting boundaries
with loved ones.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
DEMI, We're gonna play a game, and here's the deal.
One of the boundaries that I have in my house
is we can't have a bunch of shit, and my
wife loves to collect shit. So we've decided that we're
gonna put this game into our podcast, and then if
you win the game, you get to have something that
Raven has kind of like hoarded slash collected Slash loves.
(38:22):
It's great, it's a treasure. It's helping me respect my
boundary of like not so much stuff at the house.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Are we ready?
Speaker 4 (38:30):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (38:30):
Newsweek listed the top eight red flags or signs of
a dangerous, controlling, or toxic partner, warnings to get out
before your heart is broken or worse. This is according
to relationship experts they consulted, and one of them is
ignoring your boundaries. So, out of the seven left, if
we can guess two of the red flags, you will
(38:54):
win a Geniza five and one hand blender. It's an
immerged lender Raven order two of them, you get to
win one. It has a whisk an egg beater, a
milk father, a beaker, and a chopping bowl.
Speaker 3 (39:08):
I bought this because I wanted to make my own mayo,
and I accidentally said two on the Amazon card. So
you get one and we can make mayo together.
Speaker 4 (39:16):
Demmy, I'm ready.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
Okay, So here's the deal. So what we're gonna do.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
We're all in a team together and we're going to
talk it out, and we just need to name two
of the red flags that have made this list.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
So let's talk about it.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
You guys, Okay, you first, Dimmy, or do you want
us to go first?
Speaker 4 (39:36):
Well? I have a few. One thing for me that
was like really controlling was food, someone trying to control
your food and your exercise. That was something I went
through that was like really traumatic for me. And then
another one was like not being able to have any
(39:56):
friends of the opposite sex.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
Oh, so like controlling your body in space.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
I'm seeing like, yeah, like a guy who orders for
you before you can speak and then says, can't hang
out with goky unless it's like the movie Secretary and
it's all good anyway.
Speaker 4 (40:13):
Okay, check that out.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
So neither of those are on the list. Yours. We
have to keep thinking of it.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
Okay, I'm gonna say something that's really a big toxic flag.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
Big toxic.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
I'm gonna say.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
What's really a big red flag is gaslighting.
Speaker 4 (40:27):
When you are in.
Speaker 3 (40:27):
A relationship and you know for certain you did something
or said something, and that person is blatantly saying you didn't.
You have the receipts, you show them and they still
don't do it. That is a red flag.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
And you know what, that's on the motherfucking list.
Speaker 3 (40:45):
Good job I had somebody I was in. I was
in a type of relationship where I got gas lit
every day of my life.
Speaker 4 (40:52):
Yep, I did too, really good.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
I want to go deeper, but you know.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
Okay one and Demi gets the blenders. So I think
that one of the biggest red of flags is if
the person you're dating won't introduce you to their friends.
Speaker 4 (41:11):
Oh interesting, Okay, why.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
Because they're keeping you from their friends in a way,
they don't have friends, they.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
Don't want to show you. I mean, there's something that's
a red flag to me that just is.
Speaker 4 (41:28):
Well, look at it.
Speaker 3 (41:31):
That's on the list.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
It is. Yes, it's horrible. And I'm gonna say, it's scary.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
How fast we got those demmy you win? Oh these
are all seven? So love bombing.
Speaker 4 (41:46):
Okay, moving too quickly.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
Never happens to me because I got boundaries, stay to
fucking your space.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
We moved really fast.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
We're lesbians. There's a difference not introducing you to your friends,
which is one babe's got gas lighting, which the one
I got. Inconsistent behavior, sporadically acting crazy, you don't like
his or her friends, and they.
Speaker 4 (42:11):
Don't have any friends. That's a huge red flag of like,
form your friends exactly.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
That's what I was saying, Like, if someone's not introducing
you to their friends, then you don't have them, then
you're ashamed of me in some way.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
That's a red flag, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3 (42:28):
And then the last one bad mouthing exes.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
I don't keep that.
Speaker 3 (42:31):
I don't think that's good to put on the list.
Speaker 4 (42:33):
I just don't talk about my exes like they weren't.
They're not a part of my life anymore.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
If somebody that I was newly dating was talking shit
about their ex, I would not That would.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Be a red flag that's not attractive. Number one.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
And also, you're clearly still too invested in whatever was
happening there to have it in conversation.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
But what if you were on a date with someone
and you continuously talk about your ex in a good way,
Think about.
Speaker 4 (42:59):
The ex just not be a thing.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
If you're talking about the accent a good way, then
that date is clearly gonna end poorly because the person
that you're on the date with is gonna be like,
what the fuck go back to your ex, idiot.
Speaker 3 (43:13):
Demmy, congratulations, you just won the best gift ever on
the best podcast ever. You won an immersion blender.
Speaker 2 (43:19):
You're fucking welcome, Debbie.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
This has been a pleasure. You are You're a light,
You're beautiful, you're wonderful. We're so grateful to have had you.
And I can't wait for our painting party.
Speaker 3 (43:33):
Our painting party, and Jimmy and I have something that
we're working on a little bit that's gonna be coming
out so.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
Check that out.
Speaker 4 (43:39):
We are and so excited, very.
Speaker 3 (43:41):
Excited, just because you know we're gonna treat you like
everybody else. But what are your socials? Dim I'm just playing,
y'all know where she is. Go check her out on everything.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
So check her out.
Speaker 4 (43:52):
Thank you so much, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
Demi, Thank you, Demmy. I hope you had fun.
Speaker 4 (43:58):
Did I had a lot of fun.
Speaker 3 (44:00):
Absolutely a gem, a gem, an absolute gem, an uncut gem,
like a super uncut gem.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
She's just precious. You can't go wrong.
Speaker 3 (44:11):
You can't go wrong with Demi Lovato. I really appreciated
her being honest.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
You love saying her whole name.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
Yeah, Demi Lovato, it just works. I like calling her
a d or dem the dem dem what a dem dem?
Speaker 2 (44:24):
Yeah, she's She's great. She has a talent, she's a gift.
Speaker 3 (44:28):
You know what. We didn't ask her what she would
order for Chinese food.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
This has been another episode of the Best Podcast Ever
with Raven and Miranda, and you can find us on
all the places you like listening to podcasts and probably
other places too, like our socials, because those exist.
Speaker 3 (44:45):
Oh they do. Check them out.
Speaker 2 (44:47):
Bye guys, bye, y'all.
Speaker 3 (44:54):
The Best Podcast Ever is an iHeart Podcast Produced and
hosted by Raven Simone and Miranda.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Executive producers Jensen Carp and Amy Sugarman. Produced and edited
by Jordan Katz.
Speaker 3 (45:05):
Who also does our music. Executive in charge of production
Danielle Romo, producer Hannah Winkleman.
Speaker 1 (45:12):
Theme song by Kenny Siegel and Jordan Katz.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
Follow us on Instagram at the Best Pod Ever and
send your emails two the Best Pod Ever at gmail
dot com
I thought that was my whole body to day. Yes,
welcome back to the best podcast ever with.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Raven and Miranda.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
That's right, we.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Are back in effect, kick in a laugh.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
What's your go to Chinese food order?
Speaker 3 (00:34):
Oh? I haven't had Chinese food so long because of
all of the extra ingredients they put in it. But
if I was to order right now, it would be
walnut shrimp, crab fried rice, and a crab ragoon with
a side of Tai ti because sometimes they like to
serve titia at Chinese restaurants.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
What's yours? What's a crab ragoon?
Speaker 3 (00:56):
A crab ragoon is a fried wantan filled with cream
and crab.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
Never heard it bout it?
Speaker 3 (01:03):
You've Oh you never had a crab ragoon? You dip
it in the sweet and sour sauce first of all,
cheap version. I'm glad you don't have them either.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
I don't have them, and I don't like them.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
It's okay, they don't. Probably don't like you either.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Actually had an STD? No, never had an STD? Have you?
Speaker 4 (01:22):
No? Good for you?
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Good for you?
Speaker 3 (01:24):
Thank you?
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I were married that part.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
It's really important you have an STD. It's very common
and it's normal and it's okay.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Too, yeah, just saying, just saying that and go get checked.
I didn't know that when you go to your healthcare
professional for that area, especially for a female, you have
to ask to be checked for sexually transmitted diseases. It
doesn't just come with the PAP smear like you actually
have to ask for it to be in your labs.
I thought it came naturally. That's just some shit you
(01:50):
should just check in general. Didn't we have problems with
that In England a million years ago everybody was getting
chlamydia some shit like that.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Oh, I don't know, who knows.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Human sometimes are just a big bowl of germs spreading
to the next human.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Anyway, So who non taste? If you know, you know
that was my shit.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
I have no idea place in La so good on Peko.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
It was like my childhood Chinese spot.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
I used to get bean curd tofu in a brown sauce.
I love what you called it, bean curd, that's what
they called it, bean curd with broccoli.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
So good.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
And I also was obsessed with the mushoe chicken.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Mushoe chicken like in the Mulan. Yeah yummy, Yeah, who
is that girl lassies me eating mushoe.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I was obsessed with it because it was like a pancake. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
They had plum sauce and hoist and sauce and it
was divine.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
That sounds like the most amazing Chinese food meal, and
I kind of missed Chinese food, like I missed the
nostalgia of bringing it to the house, the sweats after
the television show, watch after it was just like comfort
food for me.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Well, you know you referenced Mulan, yeah a few seconds ago,
which got me thinking because I think that Christina Aguilera.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Was the voice.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
Yeah, no, no, no, she was on the soundtrack. She wasn't
the voice of Mulan. She sang the song. No no,
she's saying she's sang it not you rude.
Speaker 1 (03:23):
But I'm gonna say this, there is literally one other person,
I think, on this planet who has the voice that
can hit me in the way that Christina's does.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Let me tell you about my wife. She is a
fucking mastermind.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
I'm just gonna say it's really true.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
It's like Christina has that thing, and there's really one
other person that comes to mind instantly. I'm sure if
I sat here longer and talked about it.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
I have to be honest, I think there's a group
of women that have that strong voice, and the person
that you're talking about sits in that group of women.
I mean Shaka Khan, you know, and then you have
people in that in today's.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
World as well.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
But like this person that is coming on the show
today has one of the strongest voices of our generation.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Without a doubt, and started well, not started, but it
also was under the Disney umbrella.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Yeah, under the Disney umbrella. Started, actually started under a
purple umbrella. Do you know what I'm talking about? Oh?
Speaker 1 (04:16):
And even before that started under like a hair spray
umbrella because pageants.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
Oh that's right, there was a hairspray umbrella. Interesting. She
is one of the most chameleon artists of our time.
She always keeps her fans on their toes with information.
She loves keeping it real, keeping it honest.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
And honestly and getting to know her more. I'm like
so kind, so kind, so sweet, so sweet, so down
for the cause, like clearly wants to have great conversations,
make an impact, has been out in the public and
willing to kind of share her truth, bear her soul,
(05:00):
make mistakes, and then learn from them.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
She's growing, She's growing up in front of her eyes
and not apologizing for it, like she's so sorry, not sorry.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
I mean, And if that wasn't the biggest fucking tell you, guys,
put your hands together for.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Demi lov Yeah, clap in your car, do it?
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Demn the girl?
Speaker 4 (05:23):
All right, let's do this, babes.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
Timmy Levada is here.
Speaker 3 (05:28):
Do you have anything that you've always wanted to ask her?
Speaker 1 (05:32):
She's just putting me on the spot in such a
weird way. No, I actually have really enjoyed getting to
know you and have conversation with you, and I think
you're incredibly This is not a question, but this is
just a comment. I think you're incredibly smart and interesting
and kind, and I'm I like it, and I'm excited
for our future hangs and like I want to, I
(05:53):
want our painting date to happen. That's right, we're.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Supposed to be having a painting date.
Speaker 4 (05:57):
Well, first of all, thank you, that's really really sweet.
And then second of all, I actually just got a
mister you know, the mister you were using. I bought
it on Amazon so I can end watercolor paints. I
went to Michael's and I got watercolors, so I'm gonna
start painting.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Stop it, demmy, stop it.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
First of all, I'm mad at you because you should
have called me out, have told you that you needed
a single pigment watercolor anyway, what'd you buy?
Speaker 4 (06:23):
I don't know. I bought like a little you know,
tray that you put the paints on. Haltlett. Okay, I
got that. I got some canvases, and then I got
just a box of watercolor pants.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
So I love you to death.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
You have to make sure you get watercolor paper because
watercolor doesn't stick to canvas. It does, but it takes
a little bit of a ground. So you should have
waited on me, bestie.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
So here's the deal.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
I'm gonna send you a watercolor palette. I'm gonna send
you a link to the right watercolor paper that you
can try out. I'm so happy for you. Watercolor is
something that I do you morning, noon and night, and
I can't wait to help you if you let me.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
I think we should have a class.
Speaker 4 (07:06):
Yeah, that would be so fun.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
I think we have a class.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Top I raven And this is what I was saying
to her. I was like, really, we should do it,
because I think it's an interesting It's like there's so
many things that can happen in that it's a therapeutic moment,
but you're also like having to think because there's an
education behind it.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
Right.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
You can have like the free form and just go
for it, but there's also technique and structure that you
can implement if you want to. So I think it
would be I think it would just be fun.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
For all of us.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
You really spark up when you talk about painting. What
do you like about it?
Speaker 4 (07:39):
You know, when we painted the other day, it just like,
really it taught me that I don't my perfectionism went
out the window. Perfectionism is something that controls so much
of my life, you know, when it comes to body image,
when it comes to my craft and my work, and
so to be able to throw that out the window
(08:00):
and say I'm just gonna enjoy whatever comes of this,
that was so freeing and I want and I'm chasing
that feeling. I want to get that feeling again.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Do you have other things in your life that you
do to relieve stress or feel that way or has
painting really been like the first experience.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
Working out for me is something that relieves stress and
really helps with anxiety. I also do jiu jitsu hell ya,
So that is something that I love to do and
is really freeing for me. I also, you know, meditation.
(08:40):
I don't do it enough, but when I do, it
helps with anxiety and relieve stress. And then of course
just playing music.
Speaker 3 (08:47):
But let's get back to the jiu jitsu, because it's
just not okay, this is jiu jitsu. I don't know
what the fuck that is, so can you.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
I think it means more than anything that you could
kick the.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Shit out of us.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
Yeah for sure.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Is this a true or false statement?
Speaker 4 (09:03):
Probably? Yeah? Cool? Yeah, I just wanted to start there.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
Yeah, let's start. Let's start a kicking our ass. Now,
just tell me a little bit about it and how
you got into it.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
Well, do you ever watch or have you ever seen
a UFC fight?
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Hell yeah?
Speaker 4 (09:17):
So you know when they're on the ground and they're grappling, yes,
that's a jiu jitsu. And also there's you know, there's
a little bit of wrestling in it. There's the takedowns
that you can do, but it's it's really the it's
not the punching and the kicking, it's really the rest
of the fighting that they do. And I got into
(09:40):
it because I went to this gym where a lot
of actually a lot of MMA and UFC fighters were
training at and I started doing kickboxing and then like
a little bit of muay Thai. And then while I
was training my my trainer, there was like, you should
really get into jiu jitsu. I think you would love it.
(10:00):
And I tried it and I fell in love with it,
and so it's been off to the races ever since.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
But like, who's your I don't know if you called
your sparring because you're wrestling with like in boxing, Like
who's your sparring partner? Is it your trainer? You got
other like girls you be pinning down and be like bitch,
I'm dimmy bitch, Like what do you do? Like who
do you fight?
Speaker 4 (10:21):
It's my trainer? I do like privates And so that's
another way that you can accelerate faster, is you know,
training with a trainer or an instructor and is the
proper term. And so I have been just working with
him and and it's been fun.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Well, if you ever need a sparring partner, Miranda's available
for you.
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Oh my god, no, I'm not I'll play you my
experience with anything in that world, which is I saw
the movie enough. Do you guys remember of course we
all saw j Loo and she trained in Krav magaw
for that movie. And after seeing that movie, I was like,
(11:09):
oh my god, I have to be like j Loo,
And so I started going to a Krav magag gym
and I needed a partner, so I made my mom
come as well. And if you, Debbie, you don't know
my mom, but Craven obviously does.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
And it's incorrect.
Speaker 4 (11:23):
This is immediately stop.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Do not invite her mom to a She's.
Speaker 1 (11:28):
The type of person who like is like, oh my gosh,
So it's like trying to get her to hit anything
or be kind of like in that mentality.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Just so not it was incorrect.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
But I thought Krav Magod was really cool, and I
did it for like two times, or I like went
to two classes and then was over it. But I
do have a real respect for martial arts in general,
and the amount of kind of like detail and in
discipline discipline that martial arts requires.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Is something else.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
It's a real like mind body spirit connection.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
And I feel like that mirror is kind of what
you do in your career, Like what you have made
your career into requires discipline, and so I like the
fact that you found that mirror of a sport to
do that with. I mean, has there ever been a
moment and not like the typical like I don't want
to do this anymore, but literally you've like set down,
(12:32):
be like I'm so fucking tired. I just need to
stop for a second because the discipline is too much
to uphold.
Speaker 4 (12:41):
Yeah. I mean There's been a lot of times in
my career where I've kind of taken a step back
and said I need a break. Whether it's when you're
on the road and you start to get burnt out
because touring is really hard, or you're just working a lot.
You know, There's been a lot of times in my
career where I've said I need to take a second
(13:03):
and slow things down a little bit. And I have
and I've slowed things down and I've taken breaks. But yeah,
that's pretty much.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
I took a break for three years demmy, I said
fuck this, I'm retiring. It was one of the best
things I ever did, and then I started to go
to art school. So if you did take a break,
what would you do in that time, Like, what do
you think that career would be for Dimmie the Botto
if he wasn't a songwriter singer.
Speaker 4 (13:31):
You know what's funny is I was thinking about this
the other day. I was like, I wish I could
take a week off just to see friends.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Oh and fill.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
Up my schedule just with social activities, because there's so
much of my time that's filled right now. It's just
jam packed and I don't have time to see a
bunch of friends. But so I was thinking, I wish
I could take a week off just to see friends.
And I think if I took eight years off, I
would probably I would maybe want to go to maybe
(14:05):
film school. That's something that really piques my interest. I
would also, I mean art school would be dope too,
because I have this new found love for painting. Nothing
about But I would also I would focus on jiu jitsu.
I would focus on just spending time with the people
(14:28):
I love and really just do that, do whatever makes
me happy. I love being out in the sun, but
laying out by the pool, like, so I'd spend a
lot of time at the beach.
Speaker 3 (14:41):
Probably love that My wife thinks that the sun is
personally out to get her. Oh no, yeah, she doesn't.
She curses the sun on.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
A daily basis.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
I'm very fair, and I don't enjoy the sun.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
I am not.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
And it's weird because I'm a Leo and I think
that people always think like, oh, if you're an August
or a summer baby or a Leo in particular, like
you have to love the sun, and I just don't
love it at all. Like, but I also don't love
freezing temperatures or anything.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
But I just like don't want to be in the sun.
Speaker 4 (15:15):
My boyfriend is very fair, and so he kind of
feels the same way. And I'm always like, let's a
layout by have a pool day, and he's like, but
I'm gonna get some burned.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
That's how I feel.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
And I'm I'm all for it, Like I want a
pool day, Like I'm totally down to come to your
house and have a pool day with you. DEMI yes,
like one hundred percent there, But I just.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Want to be in the shade. My friend can just
like chill in the shade of the capana.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
I want a fan.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
I don't know how I feel about that. I mean,
keep him on a leash, real tight because my wife
over here saying I wanted to share with your boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
I don't like it, and just chill with what I want, saying,
you guys can be in the sun and we're going
to be over here in the shade.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Where did you meet your boyfriend?
Speaker 4 (15:53):
We met in the studio stop We actually we had
a songwriting setsion and he walked in and I was
just smitten immediately. But we didn't tell each other how
we felt for one another for a couple months, and
(16:13):
we built that foundation of a friendship, and I think
that's really important when you get into a relationship with someone.
Even though we didn't like we weren't thinking about a relationship.
We just became friends. Because after the studio we wrote
actually one of my singles. We worked really well together
in the studio songwriting, and leaving that session, I was like,
(16:39):
I want to know him, Like obviously I'm attracted to
but I want to know him, like even if I
can just be his friend, Like I just want to
be his friend because he's so special and that energy
was so magnetic.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
What's one of the things that he holds as a
virtue or a characteristic that really makes you smile?
Speaker 4 (17:01):
Oh my god, my face, honeyasy that face she just
now you know what, something that I really appreciate about
him is his loyalty, Like he's so loyal and trustworthy,
and that's something that you don't really find a lot
of when you're in our positions, and you know, we
(17:24):
we are constantly trying to assess out who we can
trust and who we can't. And I think it was
so comforting with him to know that I could trust him,
and and it just yeah, I mean, and he makes
me laugh. He makes me laugh so much. We're just
constantly laughing together. And I think that's really important too,
(17:46):
so important.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Do you find have you found that it's like difficult
to create balance between like working with your partner. Raven
and I get asked that question all the time because
we're obviously married, but we were together and people are like.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
How do you do it?
Speaker 1 (18:02):
And I don't know how often you too, have worked
together since you started dating, But do you are you
interested in leaning more into that? Do you have hesitations?
Have you already done that? I mean outside of the
writing that you've done together.
Speaker 4 (18:15):
I love to work with him. I'd love to sing
with him, like I love his voice. He's such a
great singer, so he's a songwriter, but he's primarily an
artist by jutes And yeah, I would love to sing
with him. We've talked about it before, so we already
worked really well in the studio together. We make really
(18:36):
great songs that I'm really proud of.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Are you guys public?
Speaker 4 (18:40):
Yeah? We're public.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
Oh I'm late, I'm sorry. I'm like, who it is?
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Who are you talking to?
Speaker 4 (18:46):
I post him on my socials all the time? Got it?
Got it?
Speaker 3 (18:50):
If you are not a watercolor video, I'm probably not watching,
So forgive me.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Tom.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Oh, I'm glad that's happened for you. Did he say
I love you first? Guys even said it.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
They've totally said it. Look at those eyes. They've said
it and.
Speaker 4 (19:06):
We've been together for over a year. I think it
was like a I think it may have been me.
I think I may have said it first. I think
I was like, I really like you and I'm in
like with you, and I was like, okay, I'm in
love with you.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
That's so cute. I love that.
Speaker 3 (19:25):
What does he smell like?
Speaker 4 (19:27):
He smells so good. He wears this cologne. I don't remember.
It's like Marziella, but like, I don't remember the exact
But then when he's when he's not wearing cologne, he
just smells like home. I can't explain it, but he
smells like home.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
What do you smell like?
Speaker 4 (19:43):
I wear a vanilla Antique and by Rado.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
Okay, I knew it. Okay the first time, you know,
and I give you a hug. I was like, first,
I got the vanilla right away, but then I was
trying to figure it out because I of smell and
scent and it's very distinct, but it mixes with you
in a different way like I would. It's your vanillay,
but you're also there's a little bit of musk in there,
(20:12):
and it's very warm.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
There's a little bit of spice. You have, You have
a yet you got she got a smell. She gotta smell.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
And I think it's important that your partner compliments your
smell on the pheromones, lifestyle and and everything. I just
want to just change gears for two seconds, because you
have done some amazing work recently in revamping one of
your fucking smashes into a rock song sorry not sorry,
(20:41):
like a full on fucking bop, and you know, you're
doing a full revamped album of all of your bops. Like,
I don't know anybody who's done that before. People normally
do it on tour, but the album this is like
you two type shit. How does it feel to be
in a category?
Speaker 2 (21:00):
And what made you want to do this? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (21:02):
Well, thank you, first of all. And second, I was
actually on tour last year and I released an album
called Holy Fuck, and all of the songs were rock,
and so when it came time to make my tour setlist,
I was like, how am I gonna fit Hard Attack,
Sorry Not Sorry, and Cool for the Summer into this
(21:25):
rock set. Yeah, we vamped the songs and so I
did that on the road, and then when I was
on the road, the fans reacted really strongly to it,
and I was like, I need to just release these.
I think it would be so sick to release these
as an album. So that's what I did, and that's
what I'm doing.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
I love that for her. Cool for the Summer is
probably one of the most addictive songs in the world.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
I literally it's so bizarre.
Speaker 1 (21:54):
Like I will just be like walking around and I
like Cool for the Summer.
Speaker 2 (21:57):
What I'm not.
Speaker 3 (21:59):
It's just it's we Also, we also place that sentence
in inanimate objects that obviously don't talk, like or are dogs.
Like the dog that's like sprinting down the street.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
He's like he's.
Speaker 3 (22:09):
Obviously listening to cool for the summer in his head,
like like.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Oh, she's cool for the summer.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
Like We're at Erewon the other day and I'm like,
do you want this drink?
Speaker 2 (22:16):
It's cool for the summer.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Like it's so weird, how it just like it does
pop in in a very weird way, a very beautiful way, yeah,
but also kind of weird.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Here's the deal, dem You're on the best podcast ever
and we do this little thing on the podcast where
we spin a wheel. It's going to generate a random
word none of us know, and then we're gonna have
to talk about it. So are you down to spin?
Speaker 4 (22:48):
I'm so ready.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
And the wood is.
Speaker 3 (22:58):
Boundaries.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Boundary.
Speaker 4 (23:00):
I like this word.
Speaker 2 (23:02):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (23:02):
I have none.
Speaker 2 (23:03):
How many boundaries do so? Andrew Raven has so many boundaries.
Speaker 3 (23:07):
I don't have that many.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Oh my gosh, she has so many boundaries.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Anyway, it's not about you. Boundaries. What do we think
about them?
Speaker 3 (23:15):
I mean, there's fences there, you know, do you feel.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Like you have healthy boundaries?
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Me?
Speaker 4 (23:22):
Yeah, I feel like I have healthy boundaries. I've had
to learn how to set boundaries and I still am
learning how to keep them. You know, sometimes I'm kind
of a people pleaser, and so I don't stand up
for myself twenty four to seven of like, say someone
makes a mistake on my team or something like that.
(23:47):
Sometimes it's hard for me to be the boss and
be like hey and put my foot down. Every time
I don't say something, or if someone does something that's
triggering to me, it's easier for me to push it
off to the side and say I'm fine, you know,
it didn't bother me that bad, when in reality, every
(24:08):
time I do that, it stifles my power a little bit.
And so setting boundaries is so important to empower yourself,
to be able to speak up for what you need
and what is bothering you.
Speaker 3 (24:19):
But I feel like, as somebody in the industry, I
was taught not to have boundaries. I mean, how long
you've been famous, didn't you've been famous about thirty five years? Right?
Speaker 4 (24:28):
Came out fifteen years ago just the other day, Okay, So.
Speaker 3 (24:32):
Like for fifteen years, that invisible boundary of I'm a
celebrity you're not has been.
Speaker 1 (24:38):
Up for you?
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Who has really?
Speaker 3 (24:42):
I mean you don't have to answer, obviously, but like,
who is really PopEd at that wall for you? Is
it someone you don't know? Is it people most close
to you?
Speaker 1 (24:50):
Like?
Speaker 3 (24:51):
Who do you feel tests you most? Tests you most well?
Speaker 1 (24:57):
You know?
Speaker 4 (24:58):
Sometimes the idea of my fan base as a whole,
I have to a part of me, you know, wants
to share everything and do everything with my fans, and
the other part of me is like you have to
have you have to keep certain things private. You know,
you're not supposed to be shared with the world twenty
(25:21):
four to seven immediately. Is so I think that my
fans as a whole, Like trying to decipher what I
want to share and what I want to keep private
has been difficult for me because I'm such an open book.
Like I've talked so openly about my struggles and what
I've been through, and there are times where I'm like, oh,
(25:43):
maybe I shouldn't have said that, And so I'm learning,
But you know, there's other there's other triggers that happen
in my in my daily life. If someone says something
that I'm not okay with you know, a random stranger
in a coffee shop or something. Do a boundary with
(26:06):
a random stranger if they say a word that I'm
not that I'm uncomfortable with, Do I set that boundary?
And it's like, yes, I set that boundary because no
matter who I'm setting the boundary with, it's important to myself.
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Yeah, totally, you're honoring. That's what I was saying about,
like the accountability factors, Like you're holding yourself in a
place where you know you can walk away from an
exchange or an environment and feel good about it and
not have that like second voice in your head that's
chattering and like making you ruminate on things.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
I totally, I totally can relate to that.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
But like, where's the other side of the coin, right,
Because if we put up too many boundaries, are we
ever going to be able to fix that trigger or
not fix but kind of soften that trigger. It's like
when like somebody's afraid of spiders, right, Like, I never
go around spiders. That's my boundary for Does that feeling
(27:02):
get bigger and bigger?
Speaker 4 (27:03):
My boundaries that I'm thinking of are more like if
someone puts their hand on you and you don't know
them very well, or they they want a hug, or
you know, they're invading of your personal space. Sometimes no
all the time. If you feel uncomfortable with that, you
have to let them know, Hey, this is my personal space.
(27:25):
I'm not okay with this. Can you please stop touching me?
Speaker 3 (27:27):
So I can't hit them back their boundary? Can I
craw magral the fuck out of them? Flash jiu jitsu bitchum?
Speaker 4 (27:35):
Like there's consequences. Like it's like if I'm in a
what I was referring to at the coffee shop, if
someone says something really problematic like racist or homophobic or
against someone with disabilities, Like I'm standing up for what
(27:56):
I believe in, and I'm setting that boundary of saying, hey,
you can't say that it's not okay or so that's
basically what I'm thinking of when I think of.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
So if you heard something like that and it wasn't
directed at you, you would still feel inclined to chime
in or intervene.
Speaker 4 (28:13):
Oh yeah, definitely. I Mean that's just kind of the
person that I am, is I really stand up for
everything that I believe in and so and I'm kind
of fearless in that way too. Like I have a
song called Swine that I just released June twenty third,
and I it's about abortion rights. And you know, that's
(28:36):
a topic that's really controversial to so many people because
not everyone believes in what I believe in. But I
believe that women deserve the autonomy to make the decisions
for themselves.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
So, but that's a boundary right there, demmy right that
that's a government set of boundary that everyone has to
abide by, but not everyone wants to abide by. It's like,
that's the kind of boundary I'm talking about where it's like, no,
I'm gonna push that boundary because that has nothing to
do with that. That's your scared tactics. That's forcing yourself
on me. And that's what I love about our podcast
because the words can go anywhere and everywhere, and like,
(29:10):
that is such a beautiful boundary to bring up, because
you're gonna knock that down with that song. You're gonna
get in the heads of those people. Sorry, I just
wanted to like interject that that may mean.
Speaker 4 (29:20):
Yeah, and so it's just you know, I do things.
I stand up for things that I believe in, even
when I feel like, not everyone's going to agree with me,
and so if I'm been in a setting where I
think someone is being disrespectful to another community, I'm definitely
gonna say something because that's just who I am. Always
been that way, Yeah, I've always I've always been that
(29:42):
way from I've just always been very strong willed and opinionated,
and and I've always stood up for what I believe in. Like,
I was bullied when I was in junior high and
I was one of the first people to speak out
about being bullied, and you know, it was just it
(30:06):
was something that happened to me. But like I said,
I'm an open book and I talk about so much
of my personal journey, and so that was one of
the first things that I ever spoke out about.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Do you feel like after you share certain things, which
is clearly like authentic and your truth, and if people
don't receive you well, does it impact you? Does it
make you second guess your initial response or do you
feel really confident in it.
Speaker 4 (30:38):
It used to affect me, I think probably eight years
ago it would have affected me. But now I have
just come to accept that not everyone is going to
agree with me on everything, and that's Okay, everyone is
supposed to agree with each other. If everyone agreed with
(30:59):
each other, then we live in a really boring world.
But I think that standing up for what I believe
in is more important than worrying about ruffling somebody's feathers.
But it's interesting. I can say all of this, but
yet setting a boundary with someone that I know and
love can be difficult.
Speaker 3 (31:20):
Do you feel like you push the boundaries with your art.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
I try to definitely, speaking out for what I believe
in is really important, like I said, and visually, well,
I think sonically, I'm not a lot of people are
doing rock music right now. You know, it's it's coming,
It's kind of it started to come back, and then
now I feel like it's retrieving a little bit, like
(31:45):
it's it's not it didn't quite catch and not a
lot of people in the pop world, I should say,
there's a lot of artists out there that still make
rock music. But in the pop world it was going
in direction and now it's not. And so I feel
like me sticking with that is kind of me pushing
(32:06):
my boundaries with I guess my fans and with whoever else.
Speaker 3 (32:12):
You also push the boundaries you know against what people
wanted to brand you as at the beginning of your
music career. You know, if you stand there as a
idle slash public figure that has a multi human team
to create this brand, they set invisible boundaries of what
(32:33):
you can and cannot do. And I feel like throughout
your career you have always knocked those down within your circle,
saying no, I'm going to do this, I'm going to
do that. Was that hard for you to kind of
take your take your visual reputation of yourself back? Am
I wrong in saying that?
Speaker 4 (32:52):
Well, you know, in the beginning of my career and
when I was with Disney Channel and everything, I was
kind of I felt like I was clay fitting into
molds of what other people wanted of me, and I
didn't necessarily stand true to who I was. But I
was also a teenager trying to figure out who that was.
(33:14):
So on one hand, I could say that I was
being molded into someone I wasn't, but at the same time,
I didn't know who I was, so I was still
trying to figure out all these identities. And at one
point I think where I kind of snapped was after
a tour of being in leotards and stiletto heels and
(33:35):
all these wigs, and I just was like, this isn't me.
And now when I'm on stage, I'm definitely not in
stilettos or a leotard. And it was just this I
rejected that like hyper feminine version of myself that I
felt like I was putting on in order to please
the masses and to please those around me at the time.
(34:00):
I feel like now I definitely set a boundary with
my stylist of like, hey, this is what I'm definitely
not going to wear. Let's explore other options, and I'm
more authentic to myself now And those are boundaries that
I've had to set over time.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
Where do you think you found the strength or power
to push back because that can be very hard.
Speaker 4 (34:29):
Yeah, I think I found it because you know, I
went through a lot. I went through a really dark
time in twenty eighteen, and I think when I reached
that breaking point, I came out of it and was like,
you know what, I have some work to do. I'm
not happy and something's wrong. So I had to do
(34:50):
some soul searching and I had to learn that I
was in situations before where my boundaries were non existent
because of the people that were around me, very controlling,
very manipulative, and so I felt like my voice had
been taken away. And when I came out of twenty eighteen,
(35:12):
I was like working with my therapist and she was like,
you have some boundaries to set. You have to stand
up for yourself because you've spent so many years not
standing up for yourself and letting other people make decisions
for you. And so I think doing that work with
my therapist was really important to figure out what I
needed to do in order to stay sane.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
This like, obviously it's unique to your experience. However, there
is a through line with people that are in the
industry that start very young. Right, there's that boundary that
we set for ourselves, and then there's ones slash, you know,
a pin or a boundary that they build around us
that is blocked by money, shiny things, success, fame, and
(35:56):
just easy life. And it's really difficult to either dig
a hole and crawl underneath and go down to those darkest,
deepest moments and come back up the other side of
that boundary wall, or fly on top of it and
change it. You know, we've had so many people in
the industry that have had that story of I didn't
know what I was doing, I didn't know what I
(36:17):
had to follow. What this person that I quote air
quotes semi trusted because you know, I have this, and
I have that and I have this. It's like that's
a really difficult thought process for some because like people
that are not in the industry, you know, I don't know,
maybe you were. I wasn't allowed to No, Dad, I'm
not doing that, and then slam my door and then
(36:39):
go inside and that's my boundary and I'm like seven,
Like that's not available for me on a set to
a director, you know, when he's talking to me, it's like, okay,
whatever he needs. Are like we are trained to in
a way be submissive in order to get the job done.
And I just wanted to say that that's.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Also really the murky lines.
Speaker 4 (37:00):
There was also just so much fear instilled in us
as child actors because you know that at any point
they can replace you. Yes of being replaced after working
so hard for booking that one job, you know, was
just kind of it overpowered the need to stand up
for yourself. And I think that that's really dangerous when
(37:23):
it comes to young people and adolescents because you know
that's when they're in such formative years for the rest
of their lives. Like, I'm still reworking through patterns that
were instilled in me as a child actor or a teenager.
I'm still reworking and reprogramming myself to be able to
(37:44):
stand up for myself when I need to. And setting
boundaries with strangers is so much easier than setting boundaries
with loved ones.
Speaker 1 (38:02):
DEMI, We're gonna play a game, and here's the deal.
One of the boundaries that I have in my house
is we can't have a bunch of shit, and my
wife loves to collect shit. So we've decided that we're
gonna put this game into our podcast, and then if
you win the game, you get to have something that
Raven has kind of like hoarded slash collected Slash loves.
(38:22):
It's great, it's a treasure. It's helping me respect my
boundary of like not so much stuff at the house.
Speaker 2 (38:28):
Are we ready?
Speaker 4 (38:30):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (38:30):
Newsweek listed the top eight red flags or signs of
a dangerous, controlling, or toxic partner, warnings to get out
before your heart is broken or worse. This is according
to relationship experts they consulted, and one of them is
ignoring your boundaries. So, out of the seven left, if
we can guess two of the red flags, you will
(38:54):
win a Geniza five and one hand blender. It's an
immerged lender Raven order two of them, you get to
win one. It has a whisk an egg beater, a
milk father, a beaker, and a chopping bowl.
Speaker 3 (39:08):
I bought this because I wanted to make my own mayo,
and I accidentally said two on the Amazon card. So
you get one and we can make mayo together.
Speaker 4 (39:16):
Demmy, I'm ready.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
Okay, So here's the deal. So what we're gonna do.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
We're all in a team together and we're going to
talk it out, and we just need to name two
of the red flags that have made this list.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
So let's talk about it.
Speaker 3 (39:33):
You guys, Okay, you first, Dimmy, or do you want
us to go first?
Speaker 4 (39:36):
Well? I have a few. One thing for me that
was like really controlling was food, someone trying to control
your food and your exercise. That was something I went
through that was like really traumatic for me. And then
another one was like not being able to have any
(39:56):
friends of the opposite sex.
Speaker 3 (39:59):
Oh, so like controlling your body in space.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
I'm seeing like, yeah, like a guy who orders for
you before you can speak and then says, can't hang
out with goky unless it's like the movie Secretary and
it's all good anyway.
Speaker 4 (40:13):
Okay, check that out.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
So neither of those are on the list. Yours. We
have to keep thinking of it.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
Okay, I'm gonna say something that's really a big toxic flag.
Speaker 2 (40:22):
Big toxic.
Speaker 1 (40:23):
I'm gonna say.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
What's really a big red flag is gaslighting.
Speaker 4 (40:27):
When you are in.
Speaker 3 (40:27):
A relationship and you know for certain you did something
or said something, and that person is blatantly saying you didn't.
You have the receipts, you show them and they still
don't do it. That is a red flag.
Speaker 1 (40:41):
And you know what, that's on the motherfucking list.
Speaker 3 (40:45):
Good job I had somebody I was in. I was
in a type of relationship where I got gas lit
every day of my life.
Speaker 4 (40:52):
Yep, I did too, really good.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
I want to go deeper, but you know.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
Okay one and Demi gets the blenders. So I think
that one of the biggest red of flags is if
the person you're dating won't introduce you to their friends.
Speaker 4 (41:11):
Oh interesting, Okay, why.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
Because they're keeping you from their friends in a way,
they don't have friends, they.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
Don't want to show you. I mean, there's something that's
a red flag to me that just is.
Speaker 4 (41:28):
Well, look at it.
Speaker 3 (41:31):
That's on the list.
Speaker 2 (41:33):
It is. Yes, it's horrible. And I'm gonna say, it's scary.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
How fast we got those demmy you win? Oh these
are all seven? So love bombing.
Speaker 4 (41:46):
Okay, moving too quickly.
Speaker 3 (41:50):
Never happens to me because I got boundaries, stay to
fucking your space.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
We moved really fast.
Speaker 3 (41:54):
We're lesbians. There's a difference not introducing you to your friends,
which is one babe's got gas lighting, which the one
I got. Inconsistent behavior, sporadically acting crazy, you don't like
his or her friends, and they.
Speaker 4 (42:11):
Don't have any friends. That's a huge red flag of like,
form your friends exactly.
Speaker 1 (42:17):
That's what I was saying, Like, if someone's not introducing
you to their friends, then you don't have them, then
you're ashamed of me in some way.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
That's a red flag, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3 (42:28):
And then the last one bad mouthing exes.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
I don't keep that.
Speaker 3 (42:31):
I don't think that's good to put on the list.
Speaker 4 (42:33):
I just don't talk about my exes like they weren't.
They're not a part of my life anymore.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
If somebody that I was newly dating was talking shit
about their ex, I would not That would.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Be a red flag that's not attractive. Number one.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
And also, you're clearly still too invested in whatever was
happening there to have it in conversation.
Speaker 3 (42:51):
But what if you were on a date with someone
and you continuously talk about your ex in a good way,
Think about.
Speaker 4 (42:59):
The ex just not be a thing.
Speaker 1 (43:02):
If you're talking about the accent a good way, then
that date is clearly gonna end poorly because the person
that you're on the date with is gonna be like,
what the fuck go back to your ex, idiot.
Speaker 3 (43:13):
Demmy, congratulations, you just won the best gift ever on
the best podcast ever. You won an immersion blender.
Speaker 2 (43:19):
You're fucking welcome, Debbie.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
This has been a pleasure. You are You're a light,
You're beautiful, you're wonderful. We're so grateful to have had you.
And I can't wait for our painting party.
Speaker 3 (43:33):
Our painting party, and Jimmy and I have something that
we're working on a little bit that's gonna be coming
out so.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
Check that out.
Speaker 4 (43:39):
We are and so excited, very.
Speaker 3 (43:41):
Excited, just because you know we're gonna treat you like
everybody else. But what are your socials? Dim I'm just playing,
y'all know where she is. Go check her out on everything.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
So check her out.
Speaker 4 (43:52):
Thank you so much, Thank you.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
Demi, Thank you, Demmy. I hope you had fun.
Speaker 4 (43:58):
Did I had a lot of fun.
Speaker 3 (44:00):
Absolutely a gem, a gem, an absolute gem, an uncut gem,
like a super uncut gem.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
She's just precious. You can't go wrong.
Speaker 3 (44:11):
You can't go wrong with Demi Lovato. I really appreciated
her being honest.
Speaker 2 (44:16):
You love saying her whole name.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
Yeah, Demi Lovato, it just works. I like calling her
a d or dem the dem dem what a dem dem?
Speaker 2 (44:24):
Yeah, she's She's great. She has a talent, she's a gift.
Speaker 3 (44:28):
You know what. We didn't ask her what she would
order for Chinese food.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
This has been another episode of the Best Podcast Ever
with Raven and Miranda, and you can find us on
all the places you like listening to podcasts and probably
other places too, like our socials, because those exist.
Speaker 3 (44:45):
Oh they do. Check them out.
Speaker 2 (44:47):
Bye guys, bye, y'all.
Speaker 3 (44:54):
The Best Podcast Ever is an iHeart Podcast Produced and
hosted by Raven Simone and Miranda.
Speaker 1 (45:00):
Executive producers Jensen Carp and Amy Sugarman. Produced and edited
by Jordan Katz.
Speaker 3 (45:05):
Who also does our music. Executive in charge of production
Danielle Romo, producer Hannah Winkleman.
Speaker 1 (45:12):
Theme song by Kenny Siegel and Jordan Katz.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
Follow us on Instagram at the Best Pod Ever and
send your emails two the Best Pod Ever at gmail
dot com
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