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February 4, 2025 42 mins

Next time something rubs you the wrong way, ask yourself: "Is this a red flag, or is it just something I don’t like?" Amy & Kat talk about how now not everything we call a red flag is actually a red flag. Sometimes, it’s more like an orange flag and it could turn red, sure, but it could also turn green!! Don't miss out on something awesome because of an ick! 
Speaking of red flags, Amy also opens up to Kat about her silly personality lately...she shares some very weird conversations she's been having lately and they wonder if Amy will be datable after all of this. 

A listener, Melissa, emailed us our quote: “Every time I think I have a new hobby it turns out I just like to buy stuff.”

Here's the Pottery Kit that Kat was talking about! 

Email: 4ThingsWithAmyBrown@gmail.com

HOSTS:

Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy

Kat Vanburen // @KatVanburen // @YouNeedTherapyPodcast // YouNeedTherapyPodcast.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to the Fifth Thing. I'm Amy and
I'm Kat, And today's quote comes from one of our listeners, Melissa,
who emailed it to us. She said, Hey, Amy, I
just saw this quote and thought about your recent episode
with Cat. I think it's because we were talking about hobbies.
Like Kat has all kinds of hobbies. Right now, she's
doing everybody's nails, like everybody in Nashville. You need your

(00:25):
nails done, go over to Cat's kitchen. It will take
me three hours, but it's looking good.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:32):
She does painting classes also in her kitchen, and soon
to be pottery classes. She'll tell us more about that
in a minute, because she just ordered a pottery kit.
But Melissa sent us this quote. Every time I think
I have a new hobby, it turns out i'd just
like to buy stuff. And I was like, oh yeah,
And I was just unboxing things before Kat got to

(00:54):
my house and my face cupping tool came in the mail.
I am still doing. Face fitness is not a hobby,
it's a lifestyle. And my cupping tool is like, you know,
apparently I haven't even used it yet. I just pulled
it out of the box and it's going to like
suction to my face and.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
How does are you supposed to stick it on your
face and leave it there? No?

Speaker 1 (01:16):
You do like, like, have you ever had a cupping
done on your body or seen it done? I'm an Olympian. Yeah,
I've never personally needed it for whatever reason. I'm not
an Olympian, but I've had cupping done before, and it's
like glides across the face and like suctions like and
then and you do it to your forehead. But I
know there's rules, like this is a bigger cup and

(01:37):
I'm only supposed to use it on certain parts of
my face and there's a smaller cup that you use elsewhere.
I don't know, but this is my algorithm now because
it's what I talk about and everything that pops up
in my for you page or whatever. Is face fitness interesting.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
We have very different algorithms, but it's interesting because face
fitness is something that you really could do with yourself
and no real products. But now you're probably getting targeted
for all of these fun, fun tools you can get
to make your experience even better. And that's where the
shopping addiction hobby comes in.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
I know I could see myself ordering more tools, but
that actually looks kind of cool. Yeah, And I'm not
spending money on botox, so.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
You're saving money because that's cheaper than botox.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
That is my hobby. There you go, saving money. That's
my hot heck, it's a heck. Maggie. My cat is
in here with us, and cat was just looking over
at her therapy cat. He was looking at my cat, Maggie,
and she was like, oh my gosh, she looks like
a human. And I said, oh my gosh, I have
to tell you what I told my boyfriend today this morning.

(02:46):
Early this morning, he had to leave for like a
work trip, so he was up early, and I guess
his colleague they were traveling together and they were going
to be in the car for a long time, and
I don't know. For whatever reason, I was like, well,
if I come up, it's like, you should just tell
him that I'm I too, because we're going to talk

(03:07):
about red flags this relationship. Even thinking back on it now,
the fact that he had to listen to me say
this and then process it like it might be a
red flag, Like I don't know if later today when
he gets back, if I'm gonna have a boyfriend, I said,
what are y all going to talk about? Like, y'all

(03:29):
need to talk about interesting things, like if I come
up like you should you could tell him about me,
but you should tell him that I was raised by cats.
And see what he says, and I'm like, and don't budge.
Just go with it, be like, yeah, she was raised
by cats, and these say like people named cat or
actual cats. You should just with a straight face as possible,

(03:52):
just be like, no cats, she was raised by cats.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (03:56):
I'm Another potential red flag question also has to do
with my cat.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Did you do this?

Speaker 1 (04:00):
Maybe I'm just having in my head only to myself.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
Though, Oh you kept this one in you had enough
self awaren just to say it. I did this?

Speaker 1 (04:06):
Okay. So I ordered some new cat food and it
came in, and I was I put the cat food
in this clear tupperware thing, because when you open it up,
Maggie doesn't like it. If it's been if like air
has touched it for too long, like I guess, it
gets stale. For so I realized if I put it
in an airtight container like su'l, she doesn't get turned.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
Off by it.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
And cats are very picky. I'm pretty sure if they
don't want what you're serving them, and they don't have
access to more food, they'll just not eat wither away.
But the cat food came in and there's this really
beautiful cat on the packaging, and I feel like when
I was opening it up to put it in the container,
Maggie made this weird face and I was like, well,
that was weird. And I was like, Maggie, She's like

(04:51):
looked at me, like what, And I said, oh, I
know what it is, Maggie, And then I started this
whole story. I was like, you're mad because your sister's
a model now and she's living in New York modeling
for cat food, and you are sad that you're stuck here.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
Wait so this was just in your head. Well, I mean,
I'm saying it to her, but nobody was around.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
Nobody was around.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
Okay, you're just having conversations in your head, your cat.

Speaker 1 (05:22):
But it was this whole thing about how her sister
is the cat model for this cat food and she's mad.

Speaker 2 (05:30):
Because she's living here.

Speaker 1 (05:31):
She's living here and her sister's living her best life
modeling for this cat food company in New York City,
and Maggie can't even go outside, like she's she.

Speaker 2 (05:42):
Can't even go outside. So what a sad life you live?

Speaker 1 (05:47):
I know, But is that weird.

Speaker 2 (05:49):
Before you had a cat.

Speaker 1 (05:52):
I just feel like I've been doing weird things lately.
Like here's another one. My son he woke up and
walked into the hall like we were waking up it
was morning time. And then I looked at him and
I was like, like, a what year is it? And
he was like twenty twenty five and I was like,
oh okay. I was like I don't know. I'm just

(06:14):
seeing like electricity and there's all these machines and I
have this machine in front of me that's like uh beeping,
and it's got time on it, all this stuff, and
he's looking at me and he's like what is wrong?
And then we go down into the kitchen and I'm
like what is this machine? And it's a dishwasher and

(06:35):
he's like what is happening? And I'm like Steven said,
I swear like we're over by the laundry stuff now too,
and I'm like what is this? And I'm like I
swear when I went to bed, like we used to
have to hang dry our clothes and then with the toilet.
I was like, I used to have to just go
out into the yard and do what was he saying?

Speaker 2 (06:52):
He just was like, Mom, you're crazy, You're crazy.

Speaker 1 (06:56):
And I was like, I went to bed and it
was eighteen hundred something and now you're telling me it's
twenty twenty five.

Speaker 2 (07:01):
And I mean, I kept it up for but he
didn't believe you did.

Speaker 1 (07:04):
A little bit. I mean, he just kept looking at me.
But he thought once I was he realized I was
just totally joking with him. Like he died laughing, and
I'm like, you know, I think there's just something to
just play, like even with our kids. He's fourteen, but
he was able to giggle with me and then he
started being like okay, mom. And I hope that that

(07:25):
encourages him to play more. I mean, obviously, when I
start talking to Maggie about her model cat's sister, she
can't play back with me because she's a cat, or
I laugh.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
With you because she's a cat.

Speaker 1 (07:34):
I do think that maybe there's something inside of me
that just wants to play.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (07:41):
I had a brain appointment last week. Did it unlock something?

Speaker 2 (07:45):
But also, do you think you're just in a lighter
mood lately, maybe because of some of just your life circumstances.

Speaker 1 (07:53):
I do wonder though, Like I had my neurofeedback check
up appointment, and I wonder if it just sort of
unlocked something that's like be playful. Yeah, have conversations with
yourself more so than you do, like on the next level,
because I've always sort of talked to myself, but now.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
I'm just talking to other people as I'm talking to myself. Right.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
So, anyway, are these red flags.

Speaker 2 (08:16):
Depending on the person, they could be, but maybe they're
green flags for who you're dating.

Speaker 1 (08:22):
Yeah, because he likes says things like you're funny. Yeah,
And I'm not saying that any of this stuff is
like hilarious funny ha ha, but more just like you're funny,
like you're ridiculous, like you're you don't take life too seriously,
not like you're crazy. Like this feels in alignment with me.
But I don't think I could have done this stuff
like first date.

Speaker 2 (08:42):
No, I think if you did that, if you told
him that you were raised, well, actually that could have
been really funny if you did it to him on
a first date and he's like, so tell me about
you childhood and you're like, well, I was raised by
a cat, cats, cats, multiple cats. Yeah, I was raised right,
It could have been funny depending on the person, or
could have and like, oh I went on those date
with this girl where she told me she was raised

(09:02):
by cats. I didn't know what to say.

Speaker 1 (09:04):
Well, I think that leads perfectly into the conversation of
not everything is a red flag, because it could end
up being good, Like it could be warning, but then
it could be good of like, maybe this is a
sign you need to loosen up, Like why are you
taking life so seriously? What's wrong with me getting up
and acting? Like when I went to sleep it was
eighteen ninety eight. I always wanted to live in the

(09:25):
Gilded Age.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
Wait was it you that I was just looking up
with the Gilded Age.

Speaker 1 (09:30):
Was Yeah, we talked about it on a recent episode
because I love that show, The Guilded Age. Oh yes, yes, yes,
But I said, I for sure needed to be part
of high society, but like the nice ones, because there's
really snobby, mean ones. But I just want to I
want the amenities because life back then was a little hard.

Speaker 2 (09:48):
Yeah, yeah, I think depending on when it comes to
red flags, green flags, yellow flags. There there are some
things like okay that you need to pay attention to,
but most of the things that people call red flag
are just dependent on who the person is. Wouldn't you agree,
like it would be a red flag for you, but
not a red flag for me some things.

Speaker 1 (10:08):
Yeah, I just think that it's another one of those
buzz things we see on social lot, speaking of algorithm,
Like a lot of times you can just be fed
a bunch of red flag stuff and then it makes
you start to think that certain things are red flags
when it can turn you away from a relationship with someone,
and then you're missing out.

Speaker 2 (10:22):
Yes, And I think when that thought of it turning
you away, when you're thinking about that, then you are
clocking all of the weird things that you don't like,
versus paying attention to all the things that you do. Like.

Speaker 1 (10:34):
Let be more about what we're for, not what we're against.

Speaker 2 (10:37):
Yeah, sure, I love that, But I also do like
talking about people's red flags.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
But okay, I agree sometimes that can be entertaining. I
just think the main conversation is not everything not everything
else flag.

Speaker 2 (10:52):
Yes, for example, I dated somebody who refused to wear
theater when they.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
Worked out only when they worked out.

Speaker 2 (11:02):
Only when they worked out, they would put it on,
they put on after, They would put it on after.
But they re used to wear deodar when they worked
out because it swore that sweat doesn't smell. It only
smells after it's dry. So it would be a waste
of deodorant to wear it while you're working out, because

(11:23):
it wouldn't You're not going to stop you from sweating,
mostly because you're gonna sweat anyway, and it's not gonna
smell until later. So I guess they thought they were like,
you know, pulling one over on the deodorant industry and
saving a bunch of money. I thought it was very strange,
and we continued to argue about that forever. But that

(11:44):
was not a reason to end that relationship. It was
it was weird, not about flat.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
Had he done the cost analysis of a bar? Yeah,
like like, because I'm trying to even it's like any well.

Speaker 2 (12:02):
I even was like I'll pay for the deodorant if
you just want to wear it, And it was like
one of those things you're just like, no, this is
a hill I'm gonna die on. I'm not wearing Theodora
when I work out. I never understood why they were
so stuck on that where they wouldn't budg rum. I'm like,
if it just makes me happy, just put the on.

Speaker 1 (12:21):
But he didn't smell.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
Yeah, I have to admit his sweat. He didn't smell
when he worked out. So it was hard for me
to really have a point because he was right. But
I looked it up. Sweat doesn't smell until it is
either mixed with the air or dry. I don't know,
but like actual sweat doesn't have a smell.

Speaker 1 (12:40):
Like Maggie's ude when it mixes with air.

Speaker 2 (12:44):
I swear my if I don't wear deodorant when I
work out, I swear I can't, Like I don't want
to be around myself. So it was very weird that
I was like, well, maybe I don't know. He has
something this works for him anyway.

Speaker 1 (12:56):
One of my old hobbies used to be that I
would make my own deodorant. I gave up on that
hobby because I started to just buy the deodorant that
was the exact same ingredients because I do a natural
one and I love the one I'm getting. I've gotten
it for years. I can't think of the name.

Speaker 2 (13:14):
Right, I probably pure kind for a while.

Speaker 1 (13:16):
I've never tried that.

Speaker 2 (13:17):
Well. I didn't like it because it turned all my
It's like their charcoal didean. But it turned my like
bras because it was like all natural, so it started
getting like white on my clothes.

Speaker 1 (13:26):
Oh, I just thought of my when I bought the
aluminum kind while you were saying that, No milk, no,
don't do that, No, go back. My milk and honey
is the brand of mine, and I do the vanilla one.
But yeah, I used to get my own, all my
own little ingredients, and I would whip up my own deodorant.

Speaker 2 (13:42):
Was it like a stick or like, did you just no?

Speaker 1 (13:44):
I just keep it in a jar and just put
it in my fingers and then put it on.

Speaker 2 (13:50):
Okay, he really wouldn't be wearing that.

Speaker 1 (13:52):
It was awesome though, I mean literally the kind I'm buying.
The reason why I like to buy it better is
whatever I was doing, it was just melt all the time,
like especially if it was hot out like in my
little jar. And maybe I had too much coconut oil.
But however they're whipping this up, it stays at least.

Speaker 2 (14:10):
But that was just for smell, not for sweat, so
it would make your armpits smell better, but you're not
going to stop yourself from sweating. I guess I think
that's what the aluminum does. No, that's the antiperspriant, right,
So that's what stops you anti persperant.

Speaker 1 (14:24):
But what's the aluminum.

Speaker 2 (14:25):
That's what they put in.

Speaker 1 (14:27):
You can't get an anti persperant without aluminum.

Speaker 2 (14:30):
That's just deodorant makes you not smell. But if it's
an antiperspont deodorant, it stops you from sweating as much too.

Speaker 1 (14:36):
Okay, I used to use that stuff way back in
the day, which who knows what kind of I U
stuff that was doing for me. No, no, no, not
that the the you'd buy it at the drug store
and you'd roll it on and it would stop you
from sweating.

Speaker 2 (14:48):
The clinical strength. Yes, well, I think a lot of
people use that kind of stuff when they're growing up
because through puberty, like your armpits sweat a lot.

Speaker 1 (14:55):
Oh you know, fun fact about me.

Speaker 2 (14:58):
I'm not gonna brag about not having sweaty armpits.

Speaker 1 (15:02):
Actually just gonna say I hate the word armpit. I
like under arm.

Speaker 2 (15:07):
Yeah it doesn't sound better.

Speaker 1 (15:08):
Yes, Like just now when you said it. I was like, oh, cringe.
And I was watching a TV show the other day.
What show was it that I was watching? And they
said armpit? Maybe it was younger She said something about
her armpit, and I was like, Oh, don't say that.

Speaker 2 (15:21):
How dare you say that word? Underarm does sound much better?

Speaker 1 (15:26):
Yeah, just something about armpit.

Speaker 2 (15:29):
Yeah, it's not that.

Speaker 1 (15:32):
So I don't know red flag. If you say armpit,
don't say with words. I don't like moist either, but
I think I that word doesn't dislike armpit more. Oh,
I just said it. I don't like saying it. I'm
sorry responsive you said yeah, because then I'm like, oh,
why am I saying it? And then to anybody else

(15:53):
that has an aversion to that word. Maybe it's because
the cats that raised me they don't have.

Speaker 2 (16:00):
Armpits.

Speaker 1 (16:01):
They have under armed they have under legs, or they
have two under arms and then under legs.

Speaker 2 (16:07):
Would you call that an arm I think that she
has four legs?

Speaker 1 (16:10):
What? No, I guess that is how It depends on
how we look at it. But I see how dogs
have arms and legs. Wait, am I, I'm sure you're right.
I'm sure you're right. I just have always looked.

Speaker 2 (16:27):
At them as like hats and dogs don't have arms.

Speaker 1 (16:30):
No, they well they have their arms and their legs.

Speaker 2 (16:32):
They have hind legs.

Speaker 1 (16:33):
Then how do you say, Okay, you would say the
front leg Sure, yeah, okay, that's fine if you want
to talk about pets that way. But I like to
say that they have arms. This is this whole episode's
of red flag, like don't date me.

Speaker 2 (16:46):
Well you're the one raised by cat, so I guess
you know what they want their front legs to be called.

Speaker 1 (17:02):
So when we stop looking at everything as a red flag,
and this could be in any human we're talking about dating,
but it could be in any relationship, could be in
a friendship or a work relationship. If you pause and
not look at everything as like this red flag and
maybe see it as beige, or maybe it eventually becomes
endearing right and you like it about them. This makes

(17:26):
room for personal growth. It could be something that this
person literally outgrows what you maybe need to grow, at
least room for growth for all, because it could be
something like this is like a season of their life,
depending on how they're behaving. Like, for whatever reason, the
last week, I've just been more silly don't judge me
for my little games this last week that are playful.

(17:48):
I don't know. I have never had any of these
conversations before in my life.

Speaker 2 (17:53):
Sure, No, I never.

Speaker 1 (17:55):
I've never made up a story about you know, the
cat on the cat food bag. I've not ever pretended
like I was born in another century. And I have
never asked a man to tell his coworker that I
was raised by.

Speaker 2 (18:11):
We're gonna get all these emails, being like I went
on a date with Amy and she told me she
was raised by No, no, no, no no.

Speaker 1 (18:16):
I've never done this. Okay, ever, and to be fair,
I wasn't gonna be the one delivering the news. It
was gonna be him delivering it.

Speaker 2 (18:23):
True, true, true. Well, also I think with red flags
things like I'm just throwing things out there, but if
if you start dating somebody and maybe they aren't making
a lot of money, or they're in between a job
or they I don't know, just little things like that
where people would would say, oh, red flag, like he
just lost his job or he just quit a job

(18:43):
or whatever. Some of that also is like is he
building something that did he quit a job that was toxic?
Like we can't take everything I mean, or is he
just not gonnot want to have a job. There's different
degrees of that versus just looking at things as they
are plainly you have to kind of zoom out and
see what the bigger picture is, Like you're talking about
with talking to your cats and pretending you're a different world.

(19:06):
Is she hallucinating or is she going through this phase
of life or she's more silly and isn't taking life
so seriously. You know, I think we kind of narrow
those things down to be things and they mean things
that they aren't.

Speaker 1 (19:18):
Yeah, nobody comes without flaws, by the way, Well.

Speaker 2 (19:21):
And I always would say that of I can't judge
somebody that artually. Maybe that's why I was with the
guy that didn't wear toyoder right, because I don't want
somebody looking at all the annoying things that I do
and been like ooh, she did this, or her hair
was cut this way, or she wore this type of shoe.
Like you. People can get really picky with that stuff. Yeah,
but like, oh, they wear flip flops, and it's like
that's not a reason to not date somebody. You might

(19:44):
not like the flip flops, but am I not going
to throw away the opportunity to get to know somebody
because I don't like their style.

Speaker 1 (19:51):
Okay, that just reminds me about this one guy right
out of college that I went on a date with
and he wore a white belt and I was like,
I can't go out with him again. Why I saw
it as a red flag, but clearly I needed to mature.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
Was a white belt like a I don't know, you
just had an aversion of white belts.

Speaker 1 (20:09):
I thought he was really cute. He's the guy I
was at the gym and going to the parking lot
and he stopped me in the parking lot and was like, hey,
would you like to do something? Sometimes I was like, oh,
you know, good old fashioned meet somebody in the gym parking.

Speaker 2 (20:22):
Lot and then they wear a white belt and ruin it.

Speaker 1 (20:24):
And then he wore a white belt.

Speaker 2 (20:26):
Yeah, so you've grown, I've grown. Yeah, good for you.

Speaker 1 (20:29):
I don't know that I would be into the white
belt today.

Speaker 2 (20:33):
You gotta be honest if you give them a second chance, Yes,
I don't, Yes, like I need to go on a
day with you. Can you just not wear that belt
so I can see?

Speaker 1 (20:40):
Yeah, like this is not a deal. Breaker. We can
work on this. I can eventually sup my way into
your closet and get rid of that.

Speaker 2 (20:48):
Sometimes I feel like with the Red Flags also, I
think it's been rebranded as X. You know you've heard
that shortly. If you give me the next okay, you
look at me like you didn't know I was talking about.
I'm like, you taught me a couple slang words, like
I cooked last week, so you have to know itck.
I think it's become like fun to like bring these

(21:08):
things out in a game, and then it just like
creates an idea in your head, like if you're coming
up with all these ix you have towards your partner
or the person you're dating, so we need to create
a game or a trend where you're finding all the
good things about somebody.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
The reason why I gave you the look is because
I'm like, I'm unsure if I put them in the
same category. Really, red Flag and X, I think that
a lot of people do. I don't think you're wrong,
but I guess I was more contemplating that in my
head because I feel like an ick to me is
a fraternity tattoo on your ankle, and you're in your

(21:43):
forties now, and it's like, shoot, dang, why do you
make that decision?

Speaker 2 (21:48):
But would you go back out with them?

Speaker 1 (21:49):
Yes, But I'd be like, we're not still making bad decisions,
are we?

Speaker 3 (21:53):
You know?

Speaker 2 (21:54):
Well, I guess I've heard some of my clients that
are younger and they're dating, they've talked about like, oh
I was seeing this guy and then he did this
thing and he gave me the ick and I just
couldn't ever see it.

Speaker 1 (22:04):
Okay, I guess that's like, you're right, you're probably hearing
more of that type of talk from that. Just like
I saw him hold an umbrella once, what No, what's
wrong with holding an umbrella?

Speaker 2 (22:15):
That's my point of like, or like I saw him
like run holding something and like gave me the ick.
I think that's the point where I'm like, it's funny.
Some of these are funny, like oh I have an ick,
where like I can't, I can't see a guy hold
an umbrella, But then it really gets in your head.

Speaker 1 (22:30):
Yeah, but still now I'm now I am seeing the
ick is like something different than red flag. Like I'm
seeing like red flag.

Speaker 2 (22:37):
Red flag is like oh bad idea that person. Yeah,
but it just it is like, I'm not attracted to you, right.

Speaker 1 (22:43):
So I guess my ick was the white belt.

Speaker 2 (22:46):
Yes, it because he gave me.

Speaker 1 (22:48):
He gave me the ick. So now we're sorting this out.

Speaker 2 (22:50):
So red flag is that she thinks she was raised
by cats.

Speaker 1 (22:53):
We're millennials. We're trying to figure this out. So the
ick is the stupid little stuff that's like, uh, ick,
But red flag. Sometimes what we want to encourage you
to do, all of us to do, is not everything's
a red flag. Is like if there is even something
you notice, it's like, seems to be like a character thing,

(23:15):
but if you put it into perspective of were they
responding to something in this moment that's very contained to
this or is this.

Speaker 2 (23:22):
Overall who they are? Yes, like that's where, Yes, you
put that so perfectly I did.

Speaker 1 (23:28):
Yeah, I've learned it from my cat. I was gonna say,
probably you cat, you being cat. I'm sure you probably
said it that way at some point you're the therapist.

Speaker 2 (23:40):
I don't know, you put that pretty nicely where, Yeah,
if you zoom out, is this a character thing or
is this just in the moment something that's happening.

Speaker 1 (23:48):
I don't thing you need to ignore your gut like
in the moment, like if you have a strong gut
feeling about something that you know, like, oh, but I
probably need to lean into this little more just in case, see,
like if you're unsure or ever unsafe like this like
red flag, Like is this just in the moment or
is he psycho crazy?

Speaker 2 (24:09):
Why? As you were saying that, I was thinking like
if somebody texts too much, if somebody's texting you and
texts you three times in a row, send a triple text,
you might be like red flag, like he's too needy,
blah blah blah. But what if you guys had plans
and he just like was nervous because you were late
and thought something happened to you? You know what I mean?

(24:30):
Like is that is he really over communicative and too
clinging for you? Or is something in the moment happening
you know? Right?

Speaker 1 (24:38):
That makes me think of an example of being on
time for something, like if it's a first or second
date and they're five minutes late and you see it
as like, oh, he must not really beat that into me,
like he's not making me a priority or he's this
respect Like if it's just happening that one time. That's
not who the perspective is. Yeah, overall, you don't know

(25:00):
who they are. You have to it takes time to
get to know that. Now, if you start dating him
and he's just late all the time, then you have
a decision to make. But it's not a red flag.
If he's five minutes late on the first or second date.

Speaker 2 (25:11):
That could have been the only time that guy ever
wore a white belt.

Speaker 1 (25:14):
Yeah, I don't think so. He's favorite belt. I got
some batborn is my favorite belt vibes like I showed
up looking my best, like this is what I wear
on my.

Speaker 2 (25:23):
D Amy's gonna love me in this white belt now?
And then I was like, what him know that I've
ever clocked somebody wearing a white belt now that we're.

Speaker 1 (25:33):
Talking right now, this was two thousand and four.

Speaker 2 (25:37):
Well, I was alive during then. I know.

Speaker 1 (25:38):
I'm just saying, I'm like, well, Kad, this was eighteen.

Speaker 2 (25:43):
Sixty two in the Gilded Age. Yeah, ridiculous.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
I might have had a white yeah, but you having
a white belt. It's very different than a guy having
a white belt.

Speaker 2 (25:57):
I don't know if I had it, but I remember
people wore the gramat white belts with like the holes
in them. You know what the little grama. You know
what a grama is?

Speaker 1 (26:05):
Yeah, I know who that is.

Speaker 2 (26:06):
You know those They had him in black too, but
people wore them in white. I swear.

Speaker 1 (26:10):
Okay, Well, maybe I just wasn't in on. Maybe it
was you white, Maybe it wasn't he.

Speaker 2 (26:14):
Maybe I you're the red flag.

Speaker 1 (26:16):
I'm the red flag. Well, I think it's obvious that
I am. After this conversation. I think it's very obvious
I need help. And I guess we'll find out if
he ended up saying that on the car conversation. I
tried to call him earlier to get an update on
if they had the conversation or not, and I guess
they're busy working or something because he didn't answer it
is a work trip. So then I just sent a

(26:38):
text saying does so and so I fit the person's name.
I think it's weird. I was raised by cats and
he just sent that face palm emoji where the guy's
like oh, fitting his face in his hand, like oh
my god. And then that's it. He hasn't communicated with
me yet, but I'm going to take that as he

(26:58):
didn't ye take the challenge.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
Is this somebody he knows? Well, Yeah, I missed that. Okay,
it would be even weird if it was like a
newer colleague.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
No, I think it's like a colleague that like, let's
just say, like his job. He's pretty high up. But
this person is part of like a company that's there,
like investor like, so then that would make this person,
I guess, like a boss. I don't really know exactly
how it works. Maggie's been doing okay ever since she

(27:36):
learned her sister as a model, and.

Speaker 2 (27:39):
She looks just fine.

Speaker 1 (27:40):
Is she She's pretty? She just sleeps all day. Meanwhile,
Kara was in here and she didn't make a peep
the whole time.

Speaker 2 (27:47):
She's very good.

Speaker 1 (27:48):
So we're almost gone. Are the days where pets are
gonna be with us? Kat and I are going to
start filming every episode and no animals will be allowed.
Will be in the new podcast room that I'm working
on at my house, and we're just gonna be way
more buttoned up and official. But until then, it's the
wild wild West.

Speaker 2 (28:06):
Are you gonna be sad to not have car next
to you? No, as much as you get frustrated with
the noises, I feel.

Speaker 1 (28:12):
Like, Yeah, I like her. I think I'll be around
her enough. But we're we're cat and I are up leveling.

Speaker 2 (28:19):
So wait, wait up leveling? Yeah, did you mean to
say leveling up? No, it's up up leveling. I'm not
It's not gonna make fun of you. I just didn't
know if this is another way to say it. Up leveling?

Speaker 1 (28:32):
What does it mean having greater capabilities or a higher
version number? Up leveling? What is up leveling? Let's go
back to the literal meaning. Up leveling means going up
a level i e. To the next level. It's a
bigger jump than just a small incremental increase.

Speaker 2 (28:50):
Okay, here's your vocab word of the week. But I
think you did mean leveling up.

Speaker 1 (28:54):
No, okay, what does up level mean? In business? It
means doing the hard work to get you or your
business to the next level, up leveling.

Speaker 2 (29:03):
So what does leveling up mean? Then?

Speaker 1 (29:05):
Maybe it means the same thing.

Speaker 2 (29:06):
Okay, you know what? Up leveling sounds more prestigious and
leveling up. It's kind of like armpit and underarm.

Speaker 1 (29:14):
What is a synonym for up leveling? And it's to
propel forward, to rise to the next level.

Speaker 2 (29:22):
Take it up?

Speaker 1 (29:22):
A notch succeed elevate one's game.

Speaker 2 (29:24):
But not leveling up.

Speaker 1 (29:26):
Well, leveling up may mean that, but I guess I'm
used to saying up leveling because of business.

Speaker 2 (29:32):
Oh wait, you really do say that.

Speaker 1 (29:34):
I'm a business person, cat, I'm.

Speaker 2 (29:37):
From the Gilded Age and we do business there.

Speaker 3 (29:39):
I praised by business cats. They are very, very well
respected in the business game.

Speaker 2 (29:58):
I wonder if anybody else existed.

Speaker 1 (30:01):
I had to be like, people are gonna think we're drunk,
but I'm doing dry February too. I just finished dried January,
and now I'm gonna I'm level to February. Because well,
I read somewhere that to give your liver or really
good tea tucs, you should have stained from alcohol for
six weeks, And so if I already made it to

(30:22):
four weeks, then might as well go two more. And
then maybe on Valentine's Day, I'll have a glass of wine.

Speaker 2 (30:28):
Why Valentine's Day?

Speaker 1 (30:30):
Yes, because what are you about to say about cats?
I was gonna say if I still have a after today.
We were at the liquor store, like around Christmas time,
and he was buying some gifts and he ended up
getting like a really good bottle of red wine. He
was like, we'll save this and we'll have it for something,

(30:52):
and so I think we're gonna have it on Valentine's.

Speaker 2 (30:55):
Oh that's sweet. Wait, I have to share what I'm doing.
I don't think I said this earlier. What I'm doing
Valentine's Day. I told you my pottery.

Speaker 1 (31:03):
Thing, her hobby, her new hobby.

Speaker 2 (31:06):
Okay, I've been trying to get into pottery for a while.
The classes are very expensive, and they do them in
the community center like Nashville does them, and they're cheaper,
but they're so hard to get into. Anyway, I was
going to sign Patrick and I up for a Valentine's
pottery class, but it was pretty expensive, and so I
was kind of like on the fence, I found why

(31:28):
are you looking at me like that?

Speaker 1 (31:29):
I'm excited for you to tell people.

Speaker 2 (31:31):
I found a at home pottery kit, Like it's just dry,
like air dry pottery. You don't like put it in
the kiln because I would totally buy a kiln. That's
why I'm looking.

Speaker 1 (31:42):
At you like them like wait for it for Kat's
cans to start teaching pottery classes. That's why I said,
oh yeah, earlier I mentioned Catt. I'll tell you more
about that, because she's gonna be holding pottery classes and
might get rid of her oven in her kitchen and
replace it.

Speaker 2 (31:57):
With a kill. Okay, this was only fifty dollars and
it comes with enough clay to make like six things.
So I told Patrick, we're going to have it at
home Valentine's Day pottery class. I saved one hundred and
fifty dollars by and now you have a Valentine's Date. Yes, exactly, something.

Speaker 1 (32:17):
To do, and you saved money.

Speaker 2 (32:19):
So everybody. I forgot where what the company was, but
I'll post it somewhere.

Speaker 1 (32:23):
By well, I can link it in the show notes
if you can find it by the time the show
notes go up. Okay, then we can link it.

Speaker 2 (32:29):
And if you want to take a class from me,
I'll probably be teaching them about six weeks.

Speaker 1 (32:34):
Maybe you could do it virtually. Actually, people could get
their little pottery kits. Yes, in the mail.

Speaker 2 (32:40):
I can create my own pottery kit and sell them.

Speaker 1 (32:43):
I'm about to get my starter for my sour dough
and I'm making my own bread. I know I'm five
years late on this trend.

Speaker 2 (32:50):
I think people are picking it up now.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
Yeah, I know, but I feel like twenty twenty was
really the time that I should have taught myself.

Speaker 2 (32:56):
But yeah, but now people have perfected their recipes, so
it's gonna be better for you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (33:04):
I feel like I keep it pretty simple back in
the eighteen hundred how we used to do it. It's
just three ingredients. But I got to get a Starter.
But apparently there's this one bakery here in town. You
can go get it, and their starter is one hundred
years old.

Speaker 2 (33:17):
I was gonna say, you can get it from my
mom for free, but that sounds pretty sweet, but also
sounds crazy.

Speaker 1 (33:23):
A hundred year old, it's just been multiplying for one
hundred years.

Speaker 2 (33:26):
That kind of weirds me out. I think my mom
bought hers off of like Etsy.

Speaker 1 (33:31):
Yeah, people do that too. So I had a friend
that ordered one like that and it was okay, Like
she was making okay bread, and then she went to
this bakery to the hundred year old thing, and she's like,
bread is next level. She's doing everything the same, but
it's just better.

Speaker 2 (33:48):
It's local here. Oh, I have time mom. My mom
has found a way to make everything out of Starter.
That's her life now.

Speaker 1 (33:55):
That is her hobby.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
It's gonna be me with pottery.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
Yeah, will you make pottery, I'll make bread.

Speaker 2 (34:00):
I can make a pottery bowl and you can put
the bread in the bowl. Okay, and we can sell
them together like you can sell your bread and helping
this too. Don't know this in my head. This is
gonna blow up.

Speaker 1 (34:12):
Okay, you know, we have other things we need to
work on, but like business wise.

Speaker 2 (34:16):
It could be we could weave it in somehow, well.

Speaker 1 (34:18):
We could weave it in.

Speaker 2 (34:19):
Yeah, we can do.

Speaker 1 (34:20):
So back to that our business that we're working on,
it's up leveling. We're about to up level up in here.
So no dogs, no cats except for cat therapy cat
cat Vanburen. No cats with a C, only Katherine. Can
you want to go by Cat or Katherine when we up.

Speaker 2 (34:41):
Level Well, if we consult with the business cats, they'd
probably say Catherine because it's more sophisticated. But I think
I'm kind of stuck with Cat.

Speaker 1 (34:52):
So we'll be up leveling to Amy and Catherine.

Speaker 2 (34:55):
What's the long form of your name, Amelia? Beautiful name Amy, Elizabeth.
I love the name Elizabeth. Okay, Amy, Elizabeth and Catherine's
pottery and bread classes.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
Should I get rid of Brown? I mean, I did
get divorced.

Speaker 2 (35:11):
You would have to change so much stuff.

Speaker 1 (35:14):
Yeah, I mean, I just mean professionally should I I
mean I like having the same last name for my kids.
But I did notice that my ex has me and
his phone now as Amy and my maiden name. No way, yeah,
And I was like.

Speaker 2 (35:30):
Which, I get it.

Speaker 1 (35:30):
We're divorced, so that's fine, but that's still your li
that his contacts like he synced some of them up
with our son's phone. So then my son had me
in his phone as my maiden name, and I was like,
wh wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 2 (35:40):
Well what was you? What were you in his phone
when you're married?

Speaker 1 (35:44):
I don't know, probably like wife, wife or yeah, he
was in mine as husband, which I get for him.
Why would you put me in as Amy Brown? Because
we're divorced now, but it is still my name name?
I know, but I don't really know. I don't really
know how to handle because professionally am Amy Brown. My
kids are still Brown. My mom always kept her married

(36:05):
name after my parents were together forever, but she died
with my dad's last name, and I don't know how
my dad A lot of people do that your wife
felt about that, but whatever, Like, if I ever get remarried,
I would take my new husband's last name, but professionally
I would still be Amy Brown, unless when we up

(36:25):
level I just go ahead and make the switch to
Amy Elizabeth.

Speaker 2 (36:28):
I don't get the rationale.

Speaker 1 (36:31):
Well, it just gets rid of any and then I
can get married and voice anime as.

Speaker 2 (36:37):
But people who are very famous, like Hayley Bieber, who
was I can't remember her old last name, Baldwin. I
was trying to be dramatic.

Speaker 4 (36:46):
I was kidding, but like, of course you would take
Bieber's last name.

Speaker 1 (36:50):
What are you talking about? What did she do before
I get you as a famous child? Did she at?

Speaker 2 (36:57):
I don't know? Was a model?

Speaker 1 (36:58):
Okay, so she was a model.

Speaker 2 (37:00):
I know other people have done this. I just can't
think of that.

Speaker 1 (37:02):
Her changing her name up levels everything to Beeper. Of
course she changes to Beeper. It's not going to up
level anything. Even my name right now doesn't give me
any like she Baldwin. She has more like do you
know mean Amy Brown's there are I can't even get
Amy Brown dot com because Amy Brown is a fairy
artist and charity has this.

Speaker 2 (37:21):
You should google this before you make the decision. People
in the media who change their last name when they
get married.

Speaker 1 (37:28):
Yeah, I don't really think it's going to impact me
that much. I just don't know that I'm not known
as Amy Brown, so I don't think it's that big
of a deal, like I think it could be. Well,
that's what I'm saying. But right now the podcast is
four Things with Amy Brown.

Speaker 2 (37:40):
Yeah, so up levels.

Speaker 1 (37:44):
That's our cue to go, cars making noise. We just
want to thank all of our loyal listeners that are
still listening at this point.

Speaker 2 (37:51):
No matter what our names are, no matter what.

Speaker 1 (37:53):
Our names are, maybe you have a story where you've
gone through this professionally and you've gotten divorced, Like what
do you do?

Speaker 2 (38:00):
We could up level to Amy Elizabeth and Catherine Mary.
That's my name, so many names for people to remember.
They sound very professional names, Amy Elizabeth, you sound like
somebody from the Gilded Age.

Speaker 1 (38:13):
Yeah, we could talk about all things eighteen hundreds.

Speaker 2 (38:18):
That's what we're too.

Speaker 1 (38:22):
We're gonna like to know, like to know it. All
of our outfits and dresses and umbrellas.

Speaker 2 (38:29):
I was gonna say, is it Gilded Age? When they
like churned butter and stuff or is that a long
time ago?

Speaker 1 (38:36):
I think some people still churn funder. But like the
light bulb was invented then, I only know that because
Thomas Edison was on one of the episodes.

Speaker 2 (38:44):
You could upload your original light bulb that still works
to this day. Huh from the Gilded Age. I told
you about the light bulbs, how they've changed the way
they've worked.

Speaker 1 (38:53):
Oh yeah, because you said they were supposed to last
seventy five years. Yes, and then your lightbulbs. We need
a light bulb that's gonna last forever. But that's so
many things. M hmm. There's really trying. Everybody's just trying
to get us to spend more money. Yeah, that's the
cat and I we're gonna be We're going to give
you our podcast. We're gonnakeep giving you our podcast for free,

(39:14):
but we may up level to some other things that
would be things added value that you could invest in
for yourself.

Speaker 2 (39:23):
Like sourder starters and pottery kids.

Speaker 1 (39:26):
Our cooking show. But else Okay, I think this is
Houston's like, what is happening? Hi Houston? He's editing and
he's probably like, why is this still going?

Speaker 2 (39:38):
A cat?

Speaker 1 (39:39):
Where can people find you on Instagram.

Speaker 2 (39:41):
Cat van Buren.

Speaker 1 (39:42):
And I am at Radio Amy and I will see
y'all on Thursday. I'm gonna have my dermatologist on. Oh,
kinds of questions like how often you should be showering,
how often you should be washing your hair.

Speaker 2 (39:58):
What temperature water to use? In the show we are?

Speaker 1 (40:00):
Do you know that's lukewarm?

Speaker 2 (40:01):
Okay, well it would be nice to hear from them.

Speaker 1 (40:03):
Well, I know, but whenever I said it, I said,
my dermatal, I mean yes, coming from his voice, you
mean like it has more credibility.

Speaker 2 (40:09):
Yeah, no offense, thank you.

Speaker 1 (40:13):
Lukewarm showers, but like how long should they be? And
then because boyfriend, my boyfriend, he doesn't he won't shower
every day. Sometimes he'll just lean in and like wash
his hair because he doesn't want to dry his skin out.

Speaker 2 (40:25):
And my word deidurant. So oh, I feel it.

Speaker 1 (40:28):
If I had learned this early on, it might be
an ick.

Speaker 2 (40:31):
But now I'm like, wait, what's the rationale of not
showering your body?

Speaker 1 (40:36):
He says, we don't need to wash our skin every day.
And that's why I'm going to talk to my dermatologists.

Speaker 2 (40:41):
Sometimes I want to take two showers a day.

Speaker 1 (40:43):
I know, he says I shower too much.

Speaker 2 (40:45):
He washes his hair more than he probably should wash
his hair.

Speaker 1 (40:49):
Yeah, I don't. I mean, I don't know honestly how
many days he can go without a shower and he
doesn't smell.

Speaker 2 (40:55):
But it's probably because he's wearing deodorant.

Speaker 1 (40:57):
Yeah, but he doesn't. He tells me a shower too much.
And then the other day he was like we were
on the phone. He was like, hold on, I gotta
go just stick my hair on the water real quick.
And I was like, wait, why aren't you just getting
in the shower. And He's like, I'm not gonna wash
my body today. It's not my body washing day.

Speaker 2 (41:16):
I also just like love taking a shower, so do I.

Speaker 1 (41:19):
I love taking a bath too. But we're gonna talk
about this sort of stuff, like if you like taking
hot baths, like what do we do for our skin?

Speaker 2 (41:26):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (41:27):
And then scalp health. Dermochild just focused a lot on
scalp health. I didn't realize.

Speaker 2 (41:33):
That really, so like is dry shampoo bad for our health? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (41:37):
I do have a question for him about dry shampoo.
And then other things like some stuff is just is
this trendy and good marketing or do we need to
buy it? Or what drug store things do you really like?
How do you feel about face fitness?

Speaker 2 (41:53):
How do you feel about facial cupping.

Speaker 1 (41:55):
Let's see what he says. If he says, whatever, it
doesn't work, I'm to be like, you're a liar.

Speaker 2 (42:01):
What are your credentials? Anyway?

Speaker 4 (42:03):
You say you're double board certified. You went to Harvard,
right diploma, So anyway, I'm hoping he doesn't. If he does,
want to be like gott Ney Botox, just object me.

Speaker 2 (42:15):
Now you have to go to bed. I feel like
it's time for you to like reach that.

Speaker 1 (42:22):
Okay, bye bye
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