October 10, 2022 • 28 mins
As he turned 50, Michael Jordan wondered if there were any more asses to kick.
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
You're listening to the Cost of These Dreams from Right Thompson,
a podcast about sports stories from I Heart Media, Graphic
Audio and Goat Rodeo. This episode is Michael Jordan's has
not left the building, So Megan, I think most people
(00:23):
know the Michael Jordan's story, or at least are aware
of Michael Jordan in popular context. But for those that
might not be as familiar with the post Michael Jordan's
Space Jam era, Michael Jordan's, uh, well, they made a
new Space Jam. So if that tells you anything about
where Michael Jordan's at in his life, he's He's no Lebron.
(00:45):
It's now taking its place in space Jam. It wasn't
as good. Yeah, sorry Lebron James if you're listening to this.
But the refresher course for Michael Jordan's post basketball life
is that he retires from the Bulls at the end
of the nineties, then unretires after nine eleven to play
for the Washington Wizards for several seasons for charity, then
(01:06):
retires again, and then there's a sort of gray area
where Michael Jordan's isn't the basketball player anymore, until suddenly
he buys the Charlotte Bobcats and becomes an NBA owner,
which is a different step for someone who was known
for dominating the basketball court and known for being, you know,
(01:29):
an unstoppable champion by his own skill set. This is
a very different role to be, you know, a business owner,
largely handling personnel moves and not being able to affect
things other than putting things in motion. Right, Thompson found
out that Michael was turning fifty, and this is rights
(01:50):
profile of Michael Jordan's when he can no longer be
Michael Jordan anymore. We don't really want to think about
Michael Jordan's after he's Michael Jordan's. We I want to
think about Michael Jordan's as somebody preserved in amber. You
know that at any that, with the drop of a hat,
(02:13):
Michael Jordan could lace up and and take on Kyrie Irving.
You know, I think Michael Jordan would prefer that. Yeah. Right,
has a as a line in this piece about the
things that made Michael Jordan's the greatest basketball player who
ever lived are the very things that prevent him from
enjoying having been the greatest basketball player that ever lived.
(02:34):
This is Michael Jordan's has not left the building. The
thing that was interesting to me about Michael Jordan's on
this thing, I'll just tell you this is the pitch,
and this is to his he as a person who
says yes or no. October nine, two thousand, twelve fifty two.
A m last year someone mentioned to me that Michael
(02:57):
Jordan was approaching his fiftieth birthday, and to be real honest,
my first reaction was selfish. I felt old. Then I
thought about a story I read on Paul McCartney in
The New Yorker, which was titled When I'm sixty four.
It paints a picture of a day in his present life,
showing what happens after the major work of an incredibly
successful and iconic person is done. What does Paul McCartney
(03:21):
do for act two? How does he handle his growing
understanding of what it meant to have been a Beatle?
This story really struck a chord with people. I think
everyone who grew up with the Beatles found added layers
of meaning. My God, if Paul McCartney is sixty four,
what does that make me for people between the ages
of thirty and forty five, for whom Michael is our generations.
(03:43):
Paul McCartney. I think his fiftieth birthday prompts a similar
period of reflection. It is with this spirit that I
want to write a story that looks at Michael on
the eve of fifty. This will run on or around
the birthday itself, and it's something I'm going to write
regardless of whatever cooperation you feel comfortable with. It's a
much better story with your cooperation. Five weeks before his
(04:45):
fiftieth birthday, Michael Jordan's sits behind his desk overlooking a
parking garage in downtown Charlotte. The cell phone in front
of him buzzes with potential trades and league proposals about
placing ads on jerseys arrival. Wants his best players and
wants to give him nothing in return. Jordan's bristles. He
(05:06):
holds a Cuban cigar in his hand, smoking is alloud.
He's back in his office now after a recent vacation
on a hundred and fifty four ft rented yacht named Mr. Terrible,
and he feels that hard won relaxation slipping away. He
feels pulled inward towards his most valuable and destructive traits.
(05:29):
Slights rolled through his mind eating at him. For a while,
I was looking like he was trying to beat the
Michael Jordan, the fat arts. Jordan has failed miserably as
an owner. He's been a terrible owner because he's not committed.
Worst record ever, can't build a team. Absentee Landlord Jordan
(05:51):
reads the things written about him, the fuel arriving in
a packet of clips his staff prepares. He knows what
people say. He needs to know. There's a palpable simmering
whenever y're around Jordan's as if air. Jordan is still
in there, churning, trying to escape. It must be strange
(06:12):
to be locked in combat with the ghost of your
former self. I always thought I would die young, he says,
leaning up to wrap his knuckles on the rich, dark
wood of his desk. His mother would get angry with
him when he talked to her about it. He could
just never imagine being old. He seemed too powerful, too young,
(06:32):
and death was more likely than the indignity of a
slow decline. The universe might take him, but it would
not permit him to suffer the graceless loss and failure
of aging. A tragic flaw could undo him, but never
anything is common as bad knees or failing eyesight. Catching
an introspective Jordan's is like finding a spotted owl. But
(06:56):
here he is considering himself. He feels is in transition.
You talk about how much luck plays a role into this.
This was random. I didn't mean to do this. I
got him the day after he moved away from Chicago
for the last time, and you could see why they
(07:17):
did it. On the schedule, They're like, all right, he'll
be here, let's knock it out. Like you can see
how logistically that could have happened. But I mean you can't.
I mean I was with Michael Jordan's all day the
first day he no longer lived in Chicago. I mean
it was like, you know, I mean, in some ways,
(07:39):
the only reason we're sitting here is because of luck.
I mean, like that stuff matters, and I mean it's
just a long way of saying that, like you know,
you'd work hard and do the best you can, but like,
you know, that was random. Basketball is my love, always
(08:01):
have been, and I can't have a envisioned and ending
of something like that. You know, that passion that I
have for the game until I'm dead, God, until the
day before, Jordan had flown to Charlotte from Chicago, a
trip he's made many times. This flight was different from
(08:25):
all the others. When his Gulf Stream four, which has
painted to look like a sneaker, took off and turned south.
He no longer lived in the city where he moved
in nineteen four. The past months have been consumed with
a final flurry of packing, putting the first half of
his life into boxes. He has felt many emotions in
(08:46):
his fifty years, hope and anger, disappointment, joy and despair,
But lately there's been a feeling that would have disgusted
the thirty year old version of himself, nostalgia. A lot
of people say I couldn't do it. It's it's more
energy for me to try to do it. Just drives me.
When people say I can't do anything, that means I'm gonna.
(09:08):
I'm gonna soon. We try to achieve. These are hard.
Here come Michael Craft quite six. Like Michael's leeves. The
outlet shoots the three. I'm h yes, baby, Michael Short.
I will not quit this game because of what the
media has done to me or what other people have
done to me. I will quit this game because my
(09:28):
skills are diminished. I can't find a challenge just to
keep pushing myself. I'm gonna leave with my old terms
and I don't think too many athletes has had that
opportunity to do, and that's what I want to do
whenever it comes from that. When cleaning out, as he
got ready to move from his home in Chicago, Jordan
cracked opened his old safe he reached in rediscovering his
(09:50):
gold medal from the Olympics. It wasn't really gold anymore.
It looked tarnished, changed, a duller version of itself. The
memories came to him how he felt then it was
very pure. He says, it was pure in I was
(10:12):
still dreaming Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson's Larbird, Charles Barkley's
we earn what we got. We had a game that
could validate now they get that before they played one game,
and all honesty is you get paid off a potential
rock star, you have to be good. He was deep
in negotiations then with Nike for his first shoe contract.
(10:35):
He traded pens with other athletes. Eight years later, when
he was the most famous person in the world and
the Dream Team was forced to stay outside the Olympic village.
He'd be disappointed when that separation kept him from swapping
pens again. There was his uniform for the Dream Team.
In letters he'd written his parents as a college student
(10:56):
at North Carolina. What striking about the letters? How normal
he seemed. The kid in the letters hadn't yet been
hardened by wealth and fame and pressure. He told his
parents about his grades and practice, and the food in
the dining hall. He always needed money. One letter ended PS,
please send stamps. He discovered old home movies seeing his
(11:22):
young kids. They're all in or out of college now.
Warmups had collected dust alongside his baseball cleats in a
collection of bats and gloves. The astonishing thing to him
was how much he enjoyed this At thirty. I was
moving so fast, he says. I never had time to
think about all the things I was encountering, all the
(11:44):
things I was touching. Now, when I go back and
find these things, it triggers so many different thoughts. God,
I forgot about that. That's how fast we were moving.
Now I can slow it down and hopefully remember what
that meant. That's when I know I'm getting old. If
I go Jordan has answered a couple of questions. There
(12:05):
happened outers over the years whether a team led by
Jordan's could win a championship, and it is so rare
for a team that has a scoring champion to go
the distance. He's been to send me his stargun, first
gun and Chicttago and we started at the bottom and
every year we just worked hard and harder until we
got to it in. You know, it's it's so gratified.
(12:27):
You know, I'm appreciated so long in my life, you know,
from my family, from my kids, everything. It's the most
bad day I've ever had. The chasm between what his
mind wants and what his body can give grows every year.
A while back, Jordan's brother Larry, who works for the Bobcats,
(12:50):
the team Jordan now owns, noticed a commotion down on
the practice courts. I want here, you like that rainbow.
He looked out the window of his office and saw
it was his brother dominating one of the best players
on the Bobcats and one on one the next morning,
where he says with a smile, Jordan never made it
(13:12):
into his office. He got about as far as the
training room, where he started to receive treatment. His brother
went down and found him. You're paying the price, aren't you.
I couldn't hardly move, Jordan's says. If Jordan's watches old
videos of bulls games and then hits the gym, he'll
go berserk on the exercise machines. It's really frightening to watch.
(13:37):
And before he leaves the gym, he steps on a scale.
It is not what he wants to see to six one.
What he wants to see is a number that holds
more magic in it than the number on the back
of his bulls jersey. He wants to see to eighteen.
(13:58):
He's been thinking about that number, to eighteen every morning
since he got back from vacation. To those around him,
he'll claim it's about health are looking good for his
fiftieth birthday party. But those close to him know that
the number is a familiar and dangerous number. In his world.
It's a target. It's his playing weight. On the wall
(14:26):
of his office, there's a framed photograph of him as
a young man, rising toward the rim, legs pulled up
near his chest, seeming to fly. He smiles at it wistfully.
That's when he was to eighteen, when He mentions that
his wife Yvette, never saw him play basketball. He simply says,
she never saw me at to eighteen on biggest motivation
(14:50):
in life, you know, these two to to compete, you know,
and find different competitions and certain things in life, and
and and tried to overcome that, you know, be a part.
There's no way to really measure these things, but there's
a strong case to be made that Jordan is still
the most intense competitor on the planet. He's in the
conversation at the very least, and now he has been
(15:11):
reduced to grasping for outlets for this competitive rage. He's
in the middle of an epic game of Bejeweled on
his iPad, and he's moved past the level one hundred
where he has won the title of Bejeweled Demi God.
He's mastered Suduco in words search puzzles. It's funny he
can see all the words at once as he used
(15:32):
to see a basketball court. I can't help myself, he says.
It's an addiction. You asked for the special power to
achieve these heights, and now you got it, and you
want to give it back, but you can't. If I
could then I could breathe Once the whole world watched
him compete in Win Game six the Delta Center, and
(15:55):
now he masters varying versions of silly kids games. The
desire ire remains the same, but the venues and the
stakes keep shrinking. When the schedule clears, he'll call his
office and tell them not to bother him for a month,
to let him relax and play golf. Three days later,
they'll get another call asking if the plane can come
pick him up and take him someplace. He feels his
(16:18):
competitiveness kick in an almost chemical thing, and he starts
working out, and he wonders could he play at fifty?
What could he do against Lebron? What if? And you
can tell everyone that's close to him is starting to
get nervous. They know if he could do it, he
would the athlete is it because a lot of times
(16:39):
I had to battle of myself to keep challenging myself.
You know that, to me was why I would say
that the biggest battle was it was myself, Because when
you get to a certain panicle, you gotta find some
ways to keep going out there for eighty two games.
He's very well aware that, you know, Mike Jordan from
(17:00):
Woman to North Carolina is dead and that Michael Jordan
killed him. I mean, what's what a superman couldn't fly anymore?
I mean, that's what It's a story about. What do
you do when you used to be Michael Jordan's you know,
it's that great Gary Smith line that you know. Uh,
Every profile was like what is the central complication of
someone's life and how on a daily basis do they
(17:21):
go about solving it? And the central complication of Michael
Jordan's life is that he used to be Michael Jordan's.
You know, we spent a lot of time in his
office talking and they were basically like, Michael will decide
how long it's gonna go. If he's into it, who knows.
(17:42):
And then at one point he picked up his phone
and called a Vett and said he was going to
be bringing company over because even Michael Jordan has to
get permission. Well, you can't just show up. And so
at that point I was like, oh this I think
he means me. Jordan's steps into his loft, which is
(18:08):
dark and modern, with exposed duck work and a sparkling
backsplash in the kitchen. The design feels masculine, vaguely Asian.
A pool table with tan felt is to the left,
cigar ashtrays scattered around the place. There's an hour until
the Bobcats and Celtics tip off in Boston, which he'll
(18:28):
watch from his favorite chair, a rich brown, low slung lounger.
He calls for his wife, Yvette, as he enters the condo.
Her voice sounds bright and cheerful. Hi, honey, she says,
I'm back here. She's thirty four years old, has worked
in a hospital and in real estate, and his happiest
with the domestic life that Jordan lost long ago. Whatever
(18:50):
changes he's made or because of her, he's trying taking
small steps. For the past few years, he's gone on
sailing trips because he vet loves them, even though he
hates the water. The first time he went stir crazy
on the boat, but this most recent trip he felt
his rage dissolved. It was a victory. He didn't even
(19:11):
watch basketball. Every morning, he'd wake with the sun and
plan himself in the fishing chair, popping his first corona
by eight am with his friends, reading in big yellow
fish tuna which hit a troll in bait like a submarine.
Jordan's was happy. Drinking and eating and drinking and eating
and drinking and eating. Is how he described the vacation
(19:33):
to a friend going through cases of his favorite tequila
fully unplugged, which lasted exactly until he flew home. Jordan
is always the center of his universe. His private security
have code names for everyone in his his yahweh, and
I don't think they mean it as a compliment. He
(19:53):
is used to being the most important person in every
room he enters, and frankly in the lives of everyone
he meets. His golf stream takes off when he steps
on board. He has left a friend in Las Vegas
who was late, and he recently left two security guards behind.
He does what he wants when he wants. On a
(20:13):
long trip to China, he woke up just as everyone
else was taking an ambient and settling in to sleep.
It didn't matter. He turned on the lights and jammed
the plane stereo. If Michael is up, the unridden rule goes,
everybody is up. People catered to his every whim, making
sure a car is waiting when he lands, smoothing out
(20:35):
any inconvenience. Yvette offers him the best hope to rediscover
the pieces of the boy who wrote those letters from college.
She's great and is a civilian, do you know what
I mean, like is not you know, like her. You know,
her family's very Cuban and very important to her and
(20:59):
didn't like her grandparents didn't really know who he was,
which must have just been hilarious for him. He went
down to spend like Easter Thanksgiving, I forget and uh,
you know, he said, this is the first day in
a long time where every single detail of the day
hasn't been organized around my whim. And I know I'm
(21:20):
supposed to say it was refreshing, but I fucking hated it.
You know. He's just like, I'm so entitled. I thought
that was so interesting to have somebody's self aware enough
to see themselves clearly. And that was I mean that
that was surprising. I mean he was totally unplugged me.
When the story ran, he asked one of his people
(21:41):
was where did he find all that stuff out? And
they were like, you told him. You know. At one
point he was like, who are the five basketball players
in my era who could play? And I'm like, are
you really fucking asking me? Like I'm supposed to give
an answer, and I said somebody. He was like, no,
I'm like all right, Michael who Tonight at their home,
(22:07):
Vette and Michael order Ruth Chris to go and invite
friends over to watch the Bobcats play the Celtics. Vette
makes salads. Friends gather around the kitchen island and the
place is filled with laughter. It's easy and loose. Vette
and Jordan are building a home together in Florida, and
in conversations, Michael staff jokingly calls the golf club estate
(22:29):
a retirement home. His friends like to imagine him in
the huge outdoor living area, lounging on a big couch, relaxing.
Their wish for him is peace. He seems to have
it tonight, at least for a moment. Baby Vette says,
(22:50):
can you get us some wine? Jordan ducks into the
Climate Control wine room and comes out with one of
his favorites. The cork pops softly. Glasses line the count her,
and he pours wine into each one, handing them off
as he finishes. Over the next seven hours, all of
it spent watching one basketball game after another, He's again
(23:12):
pulled inward on a tilted whirl of emotion, mostly shades
of anger, from active screaming to a slow, silent burn.
He transforms from a businessman returning from an office to
a man on fire. It all starts with a Sports
center debate, one of those impossible, vaguely ridiculous arguments that can,
(23:33):
of course never be one. Who's a better quarterback, Joe
Montana or Tom Brady. I can't wait to hear this conversation,
he says. He stretches his legs out on the ottoman
wearing sweats and socks. Is one of the guys on
television argues for Brady. Tom Brady yards passage. That's sixty
(23:54):
more wins than Joe Montana. Jordan laughs. Of course they're
gonna say Brady because they don't remember my Montana. Isn't
that amazing? The debaters announced the results of the internet poll,
and nine and twenty five thousand people voted. There was
a tie, said Montana, and said Brady. It doesn't matter
(24:15):
that Montana never lost a Super Bowl, or that, unlike Brady,
he never faded on the biggest stage. Questions of legacy
of greatness are weighted in favor of youth. Time itself
is on brady side. For now. There's a fable about
returning Roman generals who rode in victory parades through the
(24:37):
streets of the capital. A slave would stand behind them,
whispering in their ears, all glorious fleeting. Nobody does that
for professional athletes. Jordan couldn't have known that the closest
he'd ever get to immortality was during that final walk
off the court. He knows he won't ever get to
(24:57):
to eighteen. He knows he won't ever played professional basketball again.
All that can happen in the days and years that
follow is for the shining monument he built to be
chipped away, eroded. Maybe he realizes that now, maybe he doesn't.
But when he sees Joe Montana joined on the mountaintop
(25:18):
by the next generation, he has to realize that someday
his picture will be on a screen next to Lebron James.
As people argue about who was better, Jordan's shakes his
head and the room falls quiet. You cannot tell me
in a one on one game now, and Lebron James
wouldn't dominate Mark. He can do everything Jordan could do,
(25:39):
but better. So what does he need to pass? Everybody's
kryptonized themselves by the way he he named. Do you
know the name of his boat? He named it because
I checked he named his boat and it's Catch twenty three.
It's great, that's a great boat name. Uh. The thing
(26:03):
I don't know is if he's really into marlin fishing,
Like I want to find out if he's going Ted
Williams on it, or if he just likes to sit
out there and drink beer and wait for the rod
to go. Like, I just wonder the degree to which
he's picking the tackle and he's the strategy behind where
(26:27):
they're going and how they're going, and how deep they're
setting him and how many they've got out, you know,
Like I'm curious. I'm curious whether he's a real fisherman
or not, because if he's, if he's down the rabbit hole,
then I'm going back. That's a great story hard, I know.
(26:49):
So I'm curious if like he goes hard as long
as it I would be curious to see maybe he's
growing up. The Cost of These Dreams is from iHeartMedia,
Graphic Audio, and Wright Thompson. This series is produced by
Goat Rodeo. N N Wright and Megan Nadolski are the
(27:11):
lead producers. This episode is part of the eight part
series The Cost of These Dreams. Find other episodes wherever
you get your podcasts. If you want to dive in
deeper to write Thompson's The Costs of These Dreams, access
the full audio book wherever you get your audio books.
Discover other works by Wright Thompson, including his latest book,
(27:32):
Pappy Land, wherever books are sold. From the Goat Rodeo team.
Production assistants from Rebecca Sidell, Isabel Kirby mc gowan, Hamsashi Too,
Maxwell Johnston and Karashillen. Music by Ian N. Wright are
Deep Thanks to Wright Thompson, Caitlin Riley and John Weiss.
(27:53):
Thanks for listening.
You're listening to the Cost of These Dreams from Right Thompson,
a podcast about sports stories from I Heart Media, Graphic
Audio and Goat Rodeo. This episode is Michael Jordan's has
not left the building, So Megan, I think most people
(00:23):
know the Michael Jordan's story, or at least are aware
of Michael Jordan in popular context. But for those that
might not be as familiar with the post Michael Jordan's
Space Jam era, Michael Jordan's, uh, well, they made a
new Space Jam. So if that tells you anything about
where Michael Jordan's at in his life, he's He's no Lebron.
(00:45):
It's now taking its place in space Jam. It wasn't
as good. Yeah, sorry Lebron James if you're listening to this.
But the refresher course for Michael Jordan's post basketball life
is that he retires from the Bulls at the end
of the nineties, then unretires after nine eleven to play
for the Washington Wizards for several seasons for charity, then
(01:06):
retires again, and then there's a sort of gray area
where Michael Jordan's isn't the basketball player anymore, until suddenly
he buys the Charlotte Bobcats and becomes an NBA owner,
which is a different step for someone who was known
for dominating the basketball court and known for being, you know,
(01:29):
an unstoppable champion by his own skill set. This is
a very different role to be, you know, a business owner,
largely handling personnel moves and not being able to affect
things other than putting things in motion. Right, Thompson found
out that Michael was turning fifty, and this is rights
(01:50):
profile of Michael Jordan's when he can no longer be
Michael Jordan anymore. We don't really want to think about
Michael Jordan's after he's Michael Jordan's. We I want to
think about Michael Jordan's as somebody preserved in amber. You
know that at any that, with the drop of a hat,
(02:13):
Michael Jordan could lace up and and take on Kyrie Irving.
You know, I think Michael Jordan would prefer that. Yeah. Right,
has a as a line in this piece about the
things that made Michael Jordan's the greatest basketball player who
ever lived are the very things that prevent him from
enjoying having been the greatest basketball player that ever lived.
(02:34):
This is Michael Jordan's has not left the building. The
thing that was interesting to me about Michael Jordan's on
this thing, I'll just tell you this is the pitch,
and this is to his he as a person who
says yes or no. October nine, two thousand, twelve fifty two.
A m last year someone mentioned to me that Michael
(02:57):
Jordan was approaching his fiftieth birthday, and to be real honest,
my first reaction was selfish. I felt old. Then I
thought about a story I read on Paul McCartney in
The New Yorker, which was titled When I'm sixty four.
It paints a picture of a day in his present life,
showing what happens after the major work of an incredibly
successful and iconic person is done. What does Paul McCartney
(03:21):
do for act two? How does he handle his growing
understanding of what it meant to have been a Beatle?
This story really struck a chord with people. I think
everyone who grew up with the Beatles found added layers
of meaning. My God, if Paul McCartney is sixty four,
what does that make me for people between the ages
of thirty and forty five, for whom Michael is our generations.
(03:43):
Paul McCartney. I think his fiftieth birthday prompts a similar
period of reflection. It is with this spirit that I
want to write a story that looks at Michael on
the eve of fifty. This will run on or around
the birthday itself, and it's something I'm going to write
regardless of whatever cooperation you feel comfortable with. It's a
much better story with your cooperation. Five weeks before his
(04:45):
fiftieth birthday, Michael Jordan's sits behind his desk overlooking a
parking garage in downtown Charlotte. The cell phone in front
of him buzzes with potential trades and league proposals about
placing ads on jerseys arrival. Wants his best players and
wants to give him nothing in return. Jordan's bristles. He
(05:06):
holds a Cuban cigar in his hand, smoking is alloud.
He's back in his office now after a recent vacation
on a hundred and fifty four ft rented yacht named Mr. Terrible,
and he feels that hard won relaxation slipping away. He
feels pulled inward towards his most valuable and destructive traits.
(05:29):
Slights rolled through his mind eating at him. For a while,
I was looking like he was trying to beat the
Michael Jordan, the fat arts. Jordan has failed miserably as
an owner. He's been a terrible owner because he's not committed.
Worst record ever, can't build a team. Absentee Landlord Jordan
(05:51):
reads the things written about him, the fuel arriving in
a packet of clips his staff prepares. He knows what
people say. He needs to know. There's a palpable simmering
whenever y're around Jordan's as if air. Jordan is still
in there, churning, trying to escape. It must be strange
(06:12):
to be locked in combat with the ghost of your
former self. I always thought I would die young, he says,
leaning up to wrap his knuckles on the rich, dark
wood of his desk. His mother would get angry with
him when he talked to her about it. He could
just never imagine being old. He seemed too powerful, too young,
(06:32):
and death was more likely than the indignity of a
slow decline. The universe might take him, but it would
not permit him to suffer the graceless loss and failure
of aging. A tragic flaw could undo him, but never
anything is common as bad knees or failing eyesight. Catching
an introspective Jordan's is like finding a spotted owl. But
(06:56):
here he is considering himself. He feels is in transition.
You talk about how much luck plays a role into this.
This was random. I didn't mean to do this. I
got him the day after he moved away from Chicago
for the last time, and you could see why they
(07:17):
did it. On the schedule, They're like, all right, he'll
be here, let's knock it out. Like you can see
how logistically that could have happened. But I mean you can't.
I mean I was with Michael Jordan's all day the
first day he no longer lived in Chicago. I mean
it was like, you know, I mean, in some ways,
(07:39):
the only reason we're sitting here is because of luck.
I mean, like that stuff matters, and I mean it's
just a long way of saying that, like you know,
you'd work hard and do the best you can, but like,
you know, that was random. Basketball is my love, always
(08:01):
have been, and I can't have a envisioned and ending
of something like that. You know, that passion that I
have for the game until I'm dead, God, until the
day before, Jordan had flown to Charlotte from Chicago, a
trip he's made many times. This flight was different from
(08:25):
all the others. When his Gulf Stream four, which has
painted to look like a sneaker, took off and turned south.
He no longer lived in the city where he moved
in nineteen four. The past months have been consumed with
a final flurry of packing, putting the first half of
his life into boxes. He has felt many emotions in
(08:46):
his fifty years, hope and anger, disappointment, joy and despair,
But lately there's been a feeling that would have disgusted
the thirty year old version of himself, nostalgia. A lot
of people say I couldn't do it. It's it's more
energy for me to try to do it. Just drives me.
When people say I can't do anything, that means I'm gonna.
(09:08):
I'm gonna soon. We try to achieve. These are hard.
Here come Michael Craft quite six. Like Michael's leeves. The
outlet shoots the three. I'm h yes, baby, Michael Short.
I will not quit this game because of what the
media has done to me or what other people have
done to me. I will quit this game because my
(09:28):
skills are diminished. I can't find a challenge just to
keep pushing myself. I'm gonna leave with my old terms
and I don't think too many athletes has had that
opportunity to do, and that's what I want to do
whenever it comes from that. When cleaning out, as he
got ready to move from his home in Chicago, Jordan
cracked opened his old safe he reached in rediscovering his
(09:50):
gold medal from the Olympics. It wasn't really gold anymore.
It looked tarnished, changed, a duller version of itself. The
memories came to him how he felt then it was
very pure. He says, it was pure in I was
(10:12):
still dreaming Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson's Larbird, Charles Barkley's
we earn what we got. We had a game that
could validate now they get that before they played one game,
and all honesty is you get paid off a potential
rock star, you have to be good. He was deep
in negotiations then with Nike for his first shoe contract.
(10:35):
He traded pens with other athletes. Eight years later, when
he was the most famous person in the world and
the Dream Team was forced to stay outside the Olympic village.
He'd be disappointed when that separation kept him from swapping
pens again. There was his uniform for the Dream Team.
In letters he'd written his parents as a college student
(10:56):
at North Carolina. What striking about the letters? How normal
he seemed. The kid in the letters hadn't yet been
hardened by wealth and fame and pressure. He told his
parents about his grades and practice, and the food in
the dining hall. He always needed money. One letter ended PS,
please send stamps. He discovered old home movies seeing his
(11:22):
young kids. They're all in or out of college now.
Warmups had collected dust alongside his baseball cleats in a
collection of bats and gloves. The astonishing thing to him
was how much he enjoyed this At thirty. I was
moving so fast, he says. I never had time to
think about all the things I was encountering, all the
(11:44):
things I was touching. Now, when I go back and
find these things, it triggers so many different thoughts. God,
I forgot about that. That's how fast we were moving.
Now I can slow it down and hopefully remember what
that meant. That's when I know I'm getting old. If
I go Jordan has answered a couple of questions. There
(12:05):
happened outers over the years whether a team led by
Jordan's could win a championship, and it is so rare
for a team that has a scoring champion to go
the distance. He's been to send me his stargun, first
gun and Chicttago and we started at the bottom and
every year we just worked hard and harder until we
got to it in. You know, it's it's so gratified.
(12:27):
You know, I'm appreciated so long in my life, you know,
from my family, from my kids, everything. It's the most
bad day I've ever had. The chasm between what his
mind wants and what his body can give grows every year.
A while back, Jordan's brother Larry, who works for the Bobcats,
(12:50):
the team Jordan now owns, noticed a commotion down on
the practice courts. I want here, you like that rainbow.
He looked out the window of his office and saw
it was his brother dominating one of the best players
on the Bobcats and one on one the next morning,
where he says with a smile, Jordan never made it
(13:12):
into his office. He got about as far as the
training room, where he started to receive treatment. His brother
went down and found him. You're paying the price, aren't you.
I couldn't hardly move, Jordan's says. If Jordan's watches old
videos of bulls games and then hits the gym, he'll
go berserk on the exercise machines. It's really frightening to watch.
(13:37):
And before he leaves the gym, he steps on a scale.
It is not what he wants to see to six one.
What he wants to see is a number that holds
more magic in it than the number on the back
of his bulls jersey. He wants to see to eighteen.
(13:58):
He's been thinking about that number, to eighteen every morning
since he got back from vacation. To those around him,
he'll claim it's about health are looking good for his
fiftieth birthday party. But those close to him know that
the number is a familiar and dangerous number. In his world.
It's a target. It's his playing weight. On the wall
(14:26):
of his office, there's a framed photograph of him as
a young man, rising toward the rim, legs pulled up
near his chest, seeming to fly. He smiles at it wistfully.
That's when he was to eighteen, when He mentions that
his wife Yvette, never saw him play basketball. He simply says,
she never saw me at to eighteen on biggest motivation
(14:50):
in life, you know, these two to to compete, you know,
and find different competitions and certain things in life, and
and and tried to overcome that, you know, be a part.
There's no way to really measure these things, but there's
a strong case to be made that Jordan is still
the most intense competitor on the planet. He's in the
conversation at the very least, and now he has been
(15:11):
reduced to grasping for outlets for this competitive rage. He's
in the middle of an epic game of Bejeweled on
his iPad, and he's moved past the level one hundred
where he has won the title of Bejeweled Demi God.
He's mastered Suduco in words search puzzles. It's funny he
can see all the words at once as he used
(15:32):
to see a basketball court. I can't help myself, he says.
It's an addiction. You asked for the special power to
achieve these heights, and now you got it, and you
want to give it back, but you can't. If I
could then I could breathe Once the whole world watched
him compete in Win Game six the Delta Center, and
(15:55):
now he masters varying versions of silly kids games. The
desire ire remains the same, but the venues and the
stakes keep shrinking. When the schedule clears, he'll call his
office and tell them not to bother him for a month,
to let him relax and play golf. Three days later,
they'll get another call asking if the plane can come
pick him up and take him someplace. He feels his
(16:18):
competitiveness kick in an almost chemical thing, and he starts
working out, and he wonders could he play at fifty?
What could he do against Lebron? What if? And you
can tell everyone that's close to him is starting to
get nervous. They know if he could do it, he
would the athlete is it because a lot of times
(16:39):
I had to battle of myself to keep challenging myself.
You know that, to me was why I would say
that the biggest battle was it was myself, Because when
you get to a certain panicle, you gotta find some
ways to keep going out there for eighty two games.
He's very well aware that, you know, Mike Jordan from
(17:00):
Woman to North Carolina is dead and that Michael Jordan
killed him. I mean, what's what a superman couldn't fly anymore?
I mean, that's what It's a story about. What do
you do when you used to be Michael Jordan's you know,
it's that great Gary Smith line that you know. Uh,
Every profile was like what is the central complication of
someone's life and how on a daily basis do they
(17:21):
go about solving it? And the central complication of Michael
Jordan's life is that he used to be Michael Jordan's.
You know, we spent a lot of time in his
office talking and they were basically like, Michael will decide
how long it's gonna go. If he's into it, who knows.
(17:42):
And then at one point he picked up his phone
and called a Vett and said he was going to
be bringing company over because even Michael Jordan has to
get permission. Well, you can't just show up. And so
at that point I was like, oh this I think
he means me. Jordan's steps into his loft, which is
(18:08):
dark and modern, with exposed duck work and a sparkling
backsplash in the kitchen. The design feels masculine, vaguely Asian.
A pool table with tan felt is to the left,
cigar ashtrays scattered around the place. There's an hour until
the Bobcats and Celtics tip off in Boston, which he'll
(18:28):
watch from his favorite chair, a rich brown, low slung lounger.
He calls for his wife, Yvette, as he enters the condo.
Her voice sounds bright and cheerful. Hi, honey, she says,
I'm back here. She's thirty four years old, has worked
in a hospital and in real estate, and his happiest
with the domestic life that Jordan lost long ago. Whatever
(18:50):
changes he's made or because of her, he's trying taking
small steps. For the past few years, he's gone on
sailing trips because he vet loves them, even though he
hates the water. The first time he went stir crazy
on the boat, but this most recent trip he felt
his rage dissolved. It was a victory. He didn't even
(19:11):
watch basketball. Every morning, he'd wake with the sun and
plan himself in the fishing chair, popping his first corona
by eight am with his friends, reading in big yellow
fish tuna which hit a troll in bait like a submarine.
Jordan's was happy. Drinking and eating and drinking and eating
and drinking and eating. Is how he described the vacation
(19:33):
to a friend going through cases of his favorite tequila
fully unplugged, which lasted exactly until he flew home. Jordan
is always the center of his universe. His private security
have code names for everyone in his his yahweh, and
I don't think they mean it as a compliment. He
(19:53):
is used to being the most important person in every
room he enters, and frankly in the lives of everyone
he meets. His golf stream takes off when he steps
on board. He has left a friend in Las Vegas
who was late, and he recently left two security guards behind.
He does what he wants when he wants. On a
(20:13):
long trip to China, he woke up just as everyone
else was taking an ambient and settling in to sleep.
It didn't matter. He turned on the lights and jammed
the plane stereo. If Michael is up, the unridden rule goes,
everybody is up. People catered to his every whim, making
sure a car is waiting when he lands, smoothing out
(20:35):
any inconvenience. Yvette offers him the best hope to rediscover
the pieces of the boy who wrote those letters from college.
She's great and is a civilian, do you know what
I mean, like is not you know, like her. You know,
her family's very Cuban and very important to her and
(20:59):
didn't like her grandparents didn't really know who he was,
which must have just been hilarious for him. He went
down to spend like Easter Thanksgiving, I forget and uh,
you know, he said, this is the first day in
a long time where every single detail of the day
hasn't been organized around my whim. And I know I'm
(21:20):
supposed to say it was refreshing, but I fucking hated it.
You know. He's just like, I'm so entitled. I thought
that was so interesting to have somebody's self aware enough
to see themselves clearly. And that was I mean that
that was surprising. I mean he was totally unplugged me.
When the story ran, he asked one of his people
(21:41):
was where did he find all that stuff out? And
they were like, you told him. You know. At one
point he was like, who are the five basketball players
in my era who could play? And I'm like, are
you really fucking asking me? Like I'm supposed to give
an answer, and I said somebody. He was like, no,
I'm like all right, Michael who Tonight at their home,
(22:07):
Vette and Michael order Ruth Chris to go and invite
friends over to watch the Bobcats play the Celtics. Vette
makes salads. Friends gather around the kitchen island and the
place is filled with laughter. It's easy and loose. Vette
and Jordan are building a home together in Florida, and
in conversations, Michael staff jokingly calls the golf club estate
(22:29):
a retirement home. His friends like to imagine him in
the huge outdoor living area, lounging on a big couch, relaxing.
Their wish for him is peace. He seems to have
it tonight, at least for a moment. Baby Vette says,
(22:50):
can you get us some wine? Jordan ducks into the
Climate Control wine room and comes out with one of
his favorites. The cork pops softly. Glasses line the count her,
and he pours wine into each one, handing them off
as he finishes. Over the next seven hours, all of
it spent watching one basketball game after another, He's again
(23:12):
pulled inward on a tilted whirl of emotion, mostly shades
of anger, from active screaming to a slow, silent burn.
He transforms from a businessman returning from an office to
a man on fire. It all starts with a Sports
center debate, one of those impossible, vaguely ridiculous arguments that can,
(23:33):
of course never be one. Who's a better quarterback, Joe
Montana or Tom Brady. I can't wait to hear this conversation,
he says. He stretches his legs out on the ottoman
wearing sweats and socks. Is one of the guys on
television argues for Brady. Tom Brady yards passage. That's sixty
(23:54):
more wins than Joe Montana. Jordan laughs. Of course they're
gonna say Brady because they don't remember my Montana. Isn't
that amazing? The debaters announced the results of the internet poll,
and nine and twenty five thousand people voted. There was
a tie, said Montana, and said Brady. It doesn't matter
(24:15):
that Montana never lost a Super Bowl, or that, unlike Brady,
he never faded on the biggest stage. Questions of legacy
of greatness are weighted in favor of youth. Time itself
is on brady side. For now. There's a fable about
returning Roman generals who rode in victory parades through the
(24:37):
streets of the capital. A slave would stand behind them,
whispering in their ears, all glorious fleeting. Nobody does that
for professional athletes. Jordan couldn't have known that the closest
he'd ever get to immortality was during that final walk
off the court. He knows he won't ever get to
(24:57):
to eighteen. He knows he won't ever played professional basketball again.
All that can happen in the days and years that
follow is for the shining monument he built to be
chipped away, eroded. Maybe he realizes that now, maybe he doesn't.
But when he sees Joe Montana joined on the mountaintop
(25:18):
by the next generation, he has to realize that someday
his picture will be on a screen next to Lebron James.
As people argue about who was better, Jordan's shakes his
head and the room falls quiet. You cannot tell me
in a one on one game now, and Lebron James
wouldn't dominate Mark. He can do everything Jordan could do,
(25:39):
but better. So what does he need to pass? Everybody's
kryptonized themselves by the way he he named. Do you
know the name of his boat? He named it because
I checked he named his boat and it's Catch twenty three.
It's great, that's a great boat name. Uh. The thing
(26:03):
I don't know is if he's really into marlin fishing,
Like I want to find out if he's going Ted
Williams on it, or if he just likes to sit
out there and drink beer and wait for the rod
to go. Like, I just wonder the degree to which
he's picking the tackle and he's the strategy behind where
(26:27):
they're going and how they're going, and how deep they're
setting him and how many they've got out, you know,
Like I'm curious. I'm curious whether he's a real fisherman
or not, because if he's, if he's down the rabbit hole,
then I'm going back. That's a great story hard, I know.
(26:49):
So I'm curious if like he goes hard as long
as it I would be curious to see maybe he's
growing up. The Cost of These Dreams is from iHeartMedia,
Graphic Audio, and Wright Thompson. This series is produced by
Goat Rodeo. N N Wright and Megan Nadolski are the
(27:11):
lead producers. This episode is part of the eight part
series The Cost of These Dreams. Find other episodes wherever
you get your podcasts. If you want to dive in
deeper to write Thompson's The Costs of These Dreams, access
the full audio book wherever you get your audio books.
Discover other works by Wright Thompson, including his latest book,
(27:32):
Pappy Land, wherever books are sold. From the Goat Rodeo team.
Production assistants from Rebecca Sidell, Isabel Kirby mc gowan, Hamsashi Too,
Maxwell Johnston and Karashillen. Music by Ian N. Wright are
Deep Thanks to Wright Thompson, Caitlin Riley and John Weiss.
(27:53):
Thanks for listening.
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