May 24, 2024 • 26 mins
Michael Kosta dives into Justice Sam Alito's collection of radical right-wing flags hung outside his house, Nikki Haley’s backhanded endorsement for Trump, and daily weed use surpassing alcohol consumption. Plus, Troy Iwata unpacks the meaning of Alito’s controversial flags. If you're planning to travel this Memorial Day weekend, then you're gonna want to hear Michael Kosta's travel tips. And EGOT-winning artist, John Legend, discusses his new audio documentary “Afghan Star” about a singing competition show that created a cultural movement. Legend relays stories of people who risked their lives for music during Taliban control, the television show that unlocked opportunities for women and re-instilled a love of music in a whole generation.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central's America's only
source for news. It's the Daily Joke with your host,
My Gold Coast.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Show.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
I'm Michael Coast that We've got so much to talk
about tonight. Summer vacation is coming up. Nicky Haley is
giving up in the Supreme Court. Might face consequences, but
don't worry, they won't face any consequences.
Speaker 5 (00:46):
So let's get into the headlines.
Speaker 4 (00:51):
We start tonight with the fundamental battle of the ages,
not the one between good and evil. Evil won that immediately,
We're talking about the fight between marijuana and alcohol. Alcohol
has had the upper hand for decades, but now it
appears that marijuana is pulling ahead well.
Speaker 6 (01:10):
For the first time ever, daily marijuana use is now
pacing daily alcohol use.
Speaker 7 (01:13):
This is according to a new national study. Millions of
people in the US report using marijuana daily or nearly
every day. According to the National Survey on Drug Use
and Health, those people now outnumber those who say they
are daily or near daily drinkers of alcohol.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
That's right, daily pot smokers are beating daily alcohol drinkers
in the race to see who can escape their sad
lives more quickly. But in some ways it makes sense.
You know, edibles are just much more efficient than booze.
I mean, have you ever tried to get a trick
or treater drunk? It's almost impossible. Of course, the rising
(01:50):
popularity of weed is a good reminder to.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
The beer industry that they got lazy.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
They thought they could just sit back and relax while
Tommy Chong bought every goddamn ad on Twitter.
Speaker 5 (02:00):
You know, congrats be her companies.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
You lost to that well known, super ambitious type, a
hardworking go getter, Tommy Chong. Now we had an alcohol aside.
The larger issue is that maybe, just maybe we shouldn't
be depending on all these substances in the first place.
You know, life is much better when you're sober and
we can really feel everything authentically. That's an epiphany I
(02:28):
had on my weekly ayahuasca voyage.
Speaker 5 (02:30):
So let's move on to the presidential race.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
You may remember that the end of the Republican primary
campaign saw a bitter feud between Donald Trump and Nicki Haley.
She criticized him for his record and conduct, and he
mocked her Indian birth name. Promoted birth conspiracies about her
and implied that her husband deployed to Africa just to
get away from.
Speaker 5 (02:52):
Her, so high brow stuff.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
The attacks got so personal that when Nicki Haley find
Me dropped out of the race in March, she made it.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
A point to not endorse Donald Trump.
Speaker 8 (03:06):
I have always been a conservative Republican and always supported
the Republican nominee. But on this question, as she did
on so many others, Margaret Thatcher provided some good advice
when she said, quote, never just follow the crowd. Always
make up your own mind. It is now up to
(03:28):
Donald Trump to earn the votes of those in our
party and beyond it who did not support him, and
I hope he does that.
Speaker 5 (03:36):
Wow, go Nicki Haley. Right, a Republican standing up to Trump.
That's pretty rare these days.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
It's like seeing an eclipse or a movie without Timothy Shallomey.
But basically, Nicky Haley said, Trump, if you want my endorsement,
you got to earn it. So let's see how Trump
courted Nicky Haley's supporters.
Speaker 5 (03:56):
You've talked about trying to unify the party. How do
you bring these Nicky Haley voters.
Speaker 9 (04:00):
Some of who's voted for you in twenty twenty, but
say they don't want to now.
Speaker 5 (04:03):
Or they'll look, how do you bring them back into
the tet? All vote for me again? They can all
vote for me again, everybody. And I'm not sure we
need too many. Damn, that's cold. Trump's like, yeah, let
me reach out to Haley supporters. Oh gotch.
Speaker 4 (04:19):
Trump just doesn't care about winning over Haley voters. To Trump,
Haley voters are like vegetables. You know, he's gotten this
far without them. Why worry about him now? But that's
Trump for you. He doesn't come to you. You come
to him. He's not going to grovel for your support.
He's not going to work to unify the party. He's
not going to meet you at a coffee shop halfway
(04:40):
between his house and your house. You come to the
coffee shop near his house, he doesn't care if you
met up there the last three times.
Speaker 5 (04:47):
He's not dealing with that traffic.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
But you know what that means, Donald, If you're going
to take Nicky Haley's voters for granted like that, then
good luck getting Nicky Haley to vote for you.
Speaker 10 (04:59):
Breaking news, Nicky Haley declares she will vote for Donald Trump,
endorsing the former rival she fiercely attacked during her GOP
presidential bid.
Speaker 8 (05:09):
I will be voting for Trump having said that, I
stand by what I said in my suspension speech. Trump
would be smart to reach out to the millions of
people who voted for me and continue to support me.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
What the hell, Nikki, you know what happened to that
Margaret Thatcher quote about never following the crowd? Is there
another Margaret Thatcher quote where she said, you know what,
who gives a shit?
Speaker 5 (05:38):
Just follow the crowd? Whatever?
Speaker 1 (05:47):
And it's not the.
Speaker 5 (05:48):
Hypocrisy that annoys me here.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
Every loser ends up supporting their party's nominee.
Speaker 5 (05:52):
But Haley made this whole big show.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
About withholding her support, and then she gave it up
for nothing. She'd be the worst kidnapper ever. I want
if you want to see your child, send me one
million dollars in unmarked builts.
Speaker 5 (06:04):
Actually, forget it. I'll drop them off at five anyway.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
I'm sure it'll be worth it, and Trump will reward
her for it. Enjoy being ambassador to those islands where
the nuclear bombs get tested, Nikki.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Let's move on for politics.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
Let's move on from politics to a place that's completely
above politics.
Speaker 5 (06:29):
The Supreme Court.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
Now, usually we expect this esteemed body to sit above
partisan pettiness while it issues rulings that let corporations sell
my organs for profit. But last week, an unfortunate issue
sullied that image.
Speaker 6 (06:43):
Justice Samuel Alito is facing calls to recuse himself. This
comes after The New York Times published a photo outside
Alito's home of an upside down American flag that's widely
viewed as a symbol of efforts to overturn the last election.
Speaker 11 (06:56):
Alito confirming the photo, telling the Times quote, I had
no involvement whatsoever in the flying of the flag. It
was briefly placed by Missus Alito in response to a
neighbor's use of objectionable and personally insulting language on yard side.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Yeah, missus Alito's fault. Oh yeah, I feel you, Sammy.
You know, my wife's always squabbling with the neighbors too.
I mean, her squabbles don't usually end with her raising
the flag of insurrection against the United States. But maybe
your neighbors are just that bad. But hey, Sam Alito
is a Supreme Court justice, the pinnacle of moral integrity.
(07:34):
If he said he has nothing to do with it,
then I believe him, and I believe it's never going
to happen again.
Speaker 12 (07:39):
New question surrounding Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito after a
second controversial flag was hanging outside one of his homes.
The New York Times reports an appealed to Heaven flag
carried my January sixth rioters, was photographed at his New
Jersey Beach house last summer.
Speaker 13 (07:55):
The flag, which features a pine tree and the phrase
appeal to Heaven, dates back to the Revolutionary War, but
today the flag has become quote a symbol of support
for former President Donald J. Trump, for a religious strand
of the Stop the Steel campaign, and for a push
to remake American government in Christian terms?
Speaker 5 (08:17):
What the hell?
Speaker 11 (08:18):
Man?
Speaker 5 (08:19):
Another flag?
Speaker 4 (08:21):
Did this guy get a two for one deal at
the MAGA flag store.
Speaker 5 (08:25):
Look, I'm not an expert, but I.
Speaker 4 (08:27):
Always thought a judge was supposed to be impartial and neutral,
And I'm not naive.
Speaker 5 (08:31):
I know he's not.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
But can he at least respect us enough to pretend
to be. You know, it's not like he's a judge
on American idol. He's a Supreme Court judge, but he's
stunting on us like a soccer player popping his jersey
after a goal.
Speaker 5 (08:45):
I killed rov Way, bitches. I killed Robbie Way, bitches.
But if you.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
But if you upseaid about this, the good news is
Supreme Court has a code of ethics. Now the bad
news is they wrote that code of ethics and they
don't follow it. So I guess there is no good news,
and the bad news is even worse. For more on
the flag controversy with Justice Alito, we turned to Troy Iwana. Troy, Troy,
(09:21):
you're outside Justice Alito's.
Speaker 5 (09:22):
House at the Jersey Shore right now. What's the mood
down there?
Speaker 14 (09:26):
It's awful, Michael. It's the Jersey Shore. Stop sending me here.
It's like it's like if Florida wore too much cologne.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
Okay, but but what can you tell us about the
flags at Alito's house.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
They're very provocative.
Speaker 14 (09:42):
Well, it's worse than that, Michael. These flags are very confusing.
I don't know what any of these weird right wing
symbols mean. One is upside down. This one was a
clip arc pine tree on it.
Speaker 5 (09:55):
I don't get the message.
Speaker 14 (09:56):
The first time I saw that Blue Lives Matter flag,
I thought the Smurfs f got citizenship, So I thought.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
Well, right wing nationalists use this pine tree flag to
symbolize how God gave them the divine right to violently
overthrow the government, then I can.
Speaker 14 (10:12):
Say that I don't right this is a reference to
whatever shit Michael just said on the flag, because right
now this is just an ugly flag with a Christmas
cookie on it.
Speaker 4 (10:27):
I think the bigger question is what justice Alito thought
the flag meant.
Speaker 14 (10:31):
I'm gonna stop you right there, Michael, because he just
put up a new flag.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
Okay.
Speaker 14 (10:37):
So it's a big blue wave. I'm guessing that means
Alito likes surfing. Or maybe they're fans of that Japanese
wave painting that white people put in their first apartment.
I'm gonna I'm gonna look it up.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Okay.
Speaker 14 (10:52):
So the wave is Noah's flood washing away the sodomites
and drowning them, drowning them in an ocean of tears.
Speaker 5 (11:02):
Boy, that's that's terrible. That's a terrible flag.
Speaker 14 (11:05):
I know I did not get any of that from
the fun wave flag. If you're gonna be hateful, stop
being so subtle, Okay, add like a add a tiny
gay person drowning under the wave or something. You know
what flag works that don't tread on me? Flag with
the angry snake, I get that. I know where not
(11:28):
to tread. Or or the punisher's skull. When someone is
wearing that on their shirt, I know that they're saying
I'm divorced, right, you know. Or you can have a
flag like Saudi Arabia. I can't read Arabic, but I
know what a sword is. It's like message received. Maybe
(11:49):
Samuel Alito should hire Saudi Arabia's flag guy.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
Okay, Troy, hold up, there appears to be a new
flag is up behind you.
Speaker 14 (11:58):
Okay, all right, it's a Bible holding a gun.
Speaker 5 (12:03):
Oh my god, I love it.
Speaker 14 (12:06):
Okay, see, I get that.
Speaker 5 (12:09):
Yeah, straight to the point.
Speaker 14 (12:10):
I am pitching my pants in fear, but I know why. Yes,
all right, thank you guys, Toledo. God, it must be
nice to own a home.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
Troy Awada, Troy Awada. Everyone, When we come back, I'll
give you some tips for summer travel.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Don't go away.
Speaker 5 (12:51):
Welcome back to day show.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
It's Memorial Day weekend, which means summer is just about here.
The time of year when my armpits begin to resemble
that swamp planet Yoda lives and people set off for
fabulous vacations. But if you've got travel plans coming up,
it's important to remember a few simple tips, which I'll
give you in my brand new advice segment.
Speaker 5 (13:22):
Now that I think about that title, it's perfect.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
So let's talk about some of the mistakes people make
on vacation and how you can do better.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
For instance, like these.
Speaker 10 (13:34):
Guys' tonight new video of two men damaging ancient rock
formations here in the West.
Speaker 15 (13:40):
Two men seen damaging ancient rock formations at Nevada's Lakeney
National Recreation Area outside Las Vegas. The vandals not once
but twice, knocking massive redstone boulders off a cliff last
week at the popular Redstone Dunes Trail. A young girl
standing behind them screams out as the rocks come to down.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
Amazing the first time these guys work out in their lives,
and they do it by pushing over a million year
old boulders.
Speaker 5 (14:10):
Hey, should we get a bowflex? No, let's just up nature.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
You know.
Speaker 5 (14:15):
Someone should go find these vandals, and it shouldn't be
too hard.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
Just look for the guy whose daughter has a blurry face.
There can't be too many of those. So here's just
the tip. Next time you're in the desert, ask yourself,
would Wiley E. Coyote do this? Then do the opposite. Now,
maybe you're thinking this doesn't apply to me. I'm more
of a lie on the beach kind of gal.
Speaker 5 (14:38):
Well guess what.
Speaker 4 (14:39):
There are plenty of ways you can mess things up too,
like what happened to this lady.
Speaker 13 (14:43):
First up, don't be a fool and never mess with
a raging bull.
Speaker 15 (14:47):
Shocking video shows a woman on a Mexican beach refusing
to get away from the beast and pain a price.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
Yeah the way, you're not doing any game?
Speaker 4 (15:08):
Tell yeah, they tell you? Did you think let me
speak to the manager? Would work on a giant bowl?
They are the manager. But that's my toe bag. I
have a bag of warm grapes in there, lady, those
are his warm grapes.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
Now just walk.
Speaker 4 (15:28):
Away, you know, and then for dinner you can have
carne asada for revenge. So here's just the tip. Next
time you go to the beach, pack a matador. Now
here's a story. It reminds you that smart traveling begins
when you're packing your suitcase.
Speaker 16 (15:44):
There's a flea for leniency. This morning, in the Turks
and Caicos, another American tourist has been detained after security
officials found live ammunition in their luggage. That's illegal in
the Caribbean territory and carries a mandatory sentence of twelve
years in prison. Now five Americans faced those charges. None
were carrying firearms, and all claimed they didn't even know
(16:06):
the bullets were there.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
Five people, and none of them knew they had live
ammunition in their suitcases. This is how gun crazy some
Americans are. You know, most people going through their luggage
find old hotel keys or sand from that beach trip.
These guys are like, oh god, my spare bullets. But
this one isn't entirely on the tourists. Okay, Turks and Caicos,
(16:31):
I get think you're worried about rising gun violence on
your island, but I don't think it's coming from Americans
bringing in two bullets at a time. You know, bullets
don't do anything without a gun, right, They're not running
around your island like throwing bullets at people. So I
think Turks and Caicos is being a little unreasonable. And
if this were up to me, I'd have those Americans
(16:53):
back in a second. It just takes one simple phone call. Hey, Turks, Hey,
can you release the prisoners?
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Please?
Speaker 5 (16:59):
No? All right, let me talk to Kikos.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
But as it turns out, someone else is already on
the case.
Speaker 17 (17:08):
Tonight, several members of Congress pleading for leniency for the
five Americans facing twelve years behind bars in Turks and Caicos.
A bipartisan delegation of lawmakers going to the territory, meeting
with government officials urging light sentences instead.
Speaker 5 (17:22):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (17:23):
Nothing motivates bipartisanship like a free trip to Turks and Keikos.
Speaker 5 (17:29):
So here's just the tip.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
Okay, if you're going to do something idiotic that gets
you arrested, make sure it's on an island paradise. Your
elected officials want to fly too. Yes, you'll still be
in prison, but at least you can look through your
bars at the congressman holding a surfboard waving, Hey, we're
doing everything we can.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
Now watch me rip this double barrel, flip side. You
know when we come back, John Legend will be joining
me on the show. Don't go.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Welcome back the DA Show.
Speaker 4 (18:12):
My guest tonight is an e got winning multi platinum
artist and activist who hosts the new original audio documentary
Afghan Star.
Speaker 5 (18:21):
Please welcome John Legend.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
Thank you all right, here we go, E got winning
multi platinum. I wasn't expecting to see your name on
(18:48):
audio documentary Afghan Star.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
Yeah, I'm a podcast host. Now my biggest aspiration come
to life.
Speaker 5 (18:55):
Tell me about this new project and how did you
get involved.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
Afghan Star is the name of a competition show, so
it's like American Idol or The Voice. But the revolutionary
fact was that it was in Afghanistan. Yes, and prior
to the US invasion, the Taliban was in charge and
they had basically outlawed music in the country, so literally
they would have bonfires, burn CDs and records and musical instruments,
(19:23):
and so there was a whole generation of people that
were growing up not having access to the most basic
thing that we all love, that's a part of all
of our lives.
Speaker 5 (19:33):
Music.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
And so when the Taliban was deposed and there was
this new freedom that was permeating through the country, one
of the producers there who had started this network called
Tolo TV, he decided to start a singing competition show
and he had no idea how revolutionary it would be
because not only was it displaying music on television, but
(19:58):
it was giving women opportunities that they never had before.
It was challenging a lot of the societal norms and
some of the religious strictures that have been on the
country for a long time. And it was quite a
cultural moment that impacted the entire country.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
I mean, you talk about in the podcast how the
Taliban used to stop people's cars and if there was
a cassette tape in there, Yes, they would beat up
the driver and then rip up the cassette've and hang
it from a tree.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
They would unspoil the actual tape from the cassette and
hang it up so people would know you can't have this.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
As an American, I listened to this stuff, it almost
seems fictitious.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Yea.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
I just it's never even I mean, it's how spoiled
am It's never crossed my mind that people cannot have music. Yeah,
Is your approach to music any differently now?
Speaker 5 (20:47):
Knowing that?
Speaker 4 (20:48):
Is your approach to music now any different knowing that?
Speaker 3 (20:50):
Well, I always knew music was such a gift, But
I think you can take it for granted because it's
something that's just part of your lives, and you know,
we've had it as part of our culture for and
every country has pretty much had it as a part
of their culture forever. But to have it taken away
it is quite a thing. And to see the links
people went through to get music back into their lives,
(21:12):
the underground.
Speaker 5 (21:12):
Networks that they would have to use to.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
Smuggle in records that they want to listen to, the
parties they would have with live music out of the
reach of the government and police. All of these things
just shows you how important music is to our lives
and how meaningful it can be, and to see it
taken away makes you really appreciate it.
Speaker 4 (21:31):
It's almost like the Taliban hasn't seen footloots, I know exactly.
Speaker 5 (21:35):
You know, one of these days you gotta watch footlets.
There's still there's still gonna do music.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
And you know what's happened since the Taliband's back in
charge again, So you know, you would think maybe there
is no music again in Afghanistan, But once you let
the genie out of the bottle, it's really hard to
suppress the people's desire to get music. And now with
the Internet being more prevalent, and and and everyone kind
of getting used to the fact that music was in
(22:03):
their lives. It's kind of hard for the Talibani to
stop them listening to music.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Now.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
One of my favorite parts in the Pot was when
he decides to have auditions and he's like, is anybody
gonna show up?
Speaker 5 (22:14):
Oh my god, And then he gets.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
To this hotel and security is furious at him because
there's hundreds of people there.
Speaker 5 (22:18):
Everybody wanted to be probably wanting.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
But then he starts rolling cameras and he's like, guess what,
everybody's a bad singer, and which wasn't the case. There
was good singers, but there's also a lot of bad singing, sure,
as there is everywhere.
Speaker 5 (22:30):
You have to go through the audition process exactly. You know,
it showed a lot.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
Of things because one of the things that Afghanistan hadn't
done was vote for anything, right, and so this was
like an opportunity for them to vote.
Speaker 5 (22:45):
And they were like we laughing, I'm laughing at this.
Speaker 4 (22:48):
But it's like, holy shit, that another thing Americans just
we take for granted. You know, it's like, yeah, vote mothers,
let's talk and another thing, I mean, let's talk about
the role of women in Afghanistan. This was such a
this was such a groundbreaking cultural change for them.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Yes, So one of the most controversial things at the
beginning of the show was when a woman was performing
on the show and she started dancing just a little bit,
a little shimmy and they were very upset about that,
and then her hijab starts to sneak back a little bit.
Speaker 5 (23:20):
You see a little bit of her hair.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
And these are you know, norms that had been enforced
with the with the gun, with the threat of death,
and so the fact that people were doing this on
national television was quite daring. And then we had a
judge named Ariana Said who was a pop star and
she was very well known in Afghanistan and she became
(23:43):
a judge and her life was under threat all the
time because she was a symbol of women's liberation just
by the fact that she was there as a judge.
And she actually mentored a few of the female contestants
and one of them finally won after several years of
the show being on the air, and it was quite
a moment for women in Afghanistan to have access to
(24:05):
this and one of the things that we are doing
with our fundraiser with the art sale that we're doing
is making sure we raise money for the North Foundation
in Afghanistan, which make sure women have access to education
and all the things they need.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
And there's.
Speaker 4 (24:25):
There's some unique pieces of art per episode, there's art
created or something.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Yes, we have unique pieces of art. I've signed some
of them and each of them represents stories from the episodes,
and so they're very vivid and beautiful and people can
check them out.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Cool.
Speaker 4 (24:43):
It's nice to have you here in New York. I
mean Trump's in the Bronx today. I was wondering, you know,
is that why you're here?
Speaker 5 (24:52):
You're you're politically out I.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
Feel like he would be here a lot of days nowadays.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
I think her, how are you feeling this election? I mean,
you're politically outspoken. What can people be doing? What should
people be doing? Well, of course they should vote, and
I'll be voting for Joe Biden.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
I think it's a clear choice. You know, it's a
clear choice. And we talk about things we take for granted.
But there is one candidate that isn't too keen on democracy,
isn't too.
Speaker 5 (25:27):
Keen on us having the right to vote.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
He literally tried to steal an election and nullify the
votes of the American people. And I feel like that
is utterly disqualifying and he should not ever be anywhere
close to the nuclear codes, the White House, the Oval Office, and.
Speaker 5 (25:44):
I'm gonna do.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
My best to make sure he doesn't get back there.
Speaker 5 (25:46):
I appreciate you chatting with me. Thank you very much,
John Legend. Everybody listen to that.
Speaker 9 (25:55):
Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch
The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten Central on Comedy
Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus.
Speaker 5 (26:13):
This has been a Comedy Central podcast
You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central's America's only
source for news. It's the Daily Joke with your host,
My Gold Coast.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
Show.
Speaker 4 (00:34):
I'm Michael Coast that We've got so much to talk
about tonight. Summer vacation is coming up. Nicky Haley is
giving up in the Supreme Court. Might face consequences, but
don't worry, they won't face any consequences.
Speaker 5 (00:46):
So let's get into the headlines.
Speaker 4 (00:51):
We start tonight with the fundamental battle of the ages,
not the one between good and evil. Evil won that immediately,
We're talking about the fight between marijuana and alcohol. Alcohol
has had the upper hand for decades, but now it
appears that marijuana is pulling ahead well.
Speaker 6 (01:10):
For the first time ever, daily marijuana use is now
pacing daily alcohol use.
Speaker 7 (01:13):
This is according to a new national study. Millions of
people in the US report using marijuana daily or nearly
every day. According to the National Survey on Drug Use
and Health, those people now outnumber those who say they
are daily or near daily drinkers of alcohol.
Speaker 4 (01:29):
That's right, daily pot smokers are beating daily alcohol drinkers
in the race to see who can escape their sad
lives more quickly. But in some ways it makes sense.
You know, edibles are just much more efficient than booze.
I mean, have you ever tried to get a trick
or treater drunk? It's almost impossible. Of course, the rising
(01:50):
popularity of weed is a good reminder to.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
The beer industry that they got lazy.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
They thought they could just sit back and relax while
Tommy Chong bought every goddamn ad on Twitter.
Speaker 5 (02:00):
You know, congrats be her companies.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
You lost to that well known, super ambitious type, a
hardworking go getter, Tommy Chong. Now we had an alcohol aside.
The larger issue is that maybe, just maybe we shouldn't
be depending on all these substances in the first place.
You know, life is much better when you're sober and
we can really feel everything authentically. That's an epiphany I
(02:28):
had on my weekly ayahuasca voyage.
Speaker 5 (02:30):
So let's move on to the presidential race.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
You may remember that the end of the Republican primary
campaign saw a bitter feud between Donald Trump and Nicki Haley.
She criticized him for his record and conduct, and he
mocked her Indian birth name. Promoted birth conspiracies about her
and implied that her husband deployed to Africa just to
get away from.
Speaker 5 (02:52):
Her, so high brow stuff.
Speaker 4 (02:57):
The attacks got so personal that when Nicki Haley find
Me dropped out of the race in March, she made it.
Speaker 5 (03:02):
A point to not endorse Donald Trump.
Speaker 8 (03:06):
I have always been a conservative Republican and always supported
the Republican nominee. But on this question, as she did
on so many others, Margaret Thatcher provided some good advice
when she said, quote, never just follow the crowd. Always
make up your own mind. It is now up to
(03:28):
Donald Trump to earn the votes of those in our
party and beyond it who did not support him, and
I hope he does that.
Speaker 5 (03:36):
Wow, go Nicki Haley. Right, a Republican standing up to Trump.
That's pretty rare these days.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
It's like seeing an eclipse or a movie without Timothy Shallomey.
But basically, Nicky Haley said, Trump, if you want my endorsement,
you got to earn it. So let's see how Trump
courted Nicky Haley's supporters.
Speaker 5 (03:56):
You've talked about trying to unify the party. How do
you bring these Nicky Haley voters.
Speaker 9 (04:00):
Some of who's voted for you in twenty twenty, but
say they don't want to now.
Speaker 5 (04:03):
Or they'll look, how do you bring them back into
the tet? All vote for me again? They can all
vote for me again, everybody. And I'm not sure we
need too many. Damn, that's cold. Trump's like, yeah, let
me reach out to Haley supporters. Oh gotch.
Speaker 4 (04:19):
Trump just doesn't care about winning over Haley voters. To Trump,
Haley voters are like vegetables. You know, he's gotten this
far without them. Why worry about him now? But that's
Trump for you. He doesn't come to you. You come
to him. He's not going to grovel for your support.
He's not going to work to unify the party. He's
not going to meet you at a coffee shop halfway
(04:40):
between his house and your house. You come to the
coffee shop near his house, he doesn't care if you
met up there the last three times.
Speaker 5 (04:47):
He's not dealing with that traffic.
Speaker 4 (04:51):
But you know what that means, Donald, If you're going
to take Nicky Haley's voters for granted like that, then
good luck getting Nicky Haley to vote for you.
Speaker 10 (04:59):
Breaking news, Nicky Haley declares she will vote for Donald Trump,
endorsing the former rival she fiercely attacked during her GOP
presidential bid.
Speaker 8 (05:09):
I will be voting for Trump having said that, I
stand by what I said in my suspension speech. Trump
would be smart to reach out to the millions of
people who voted for me and continue to support me.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
What the hell, Nikki, you know what happened to that
Margaret Thatcher quote about never following the crowd? Is there
another Margaret Thatcher quote where she said, you know what,
who gives a shit?
Speaker 5 (05:38):
Just follow the crowd? Whatever?
Speaker 1 (05:47):
And it's not the.
Speaker 5 (05:48):
Hypocrisy that annoys me here.
Speaker 4 (05:49):
Every loser ends up supporting their party's nominee.
Speaker 5 (05:52):
But Haley made this whole big show.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
About withholding her support, and then she gave it up
for nothing. She'd be the worst kidnapper ever. I want
if you want to see your child, send me one
million dollars in unmarked builts.
Speaker 5 (06:04):
Actually, forget it. I'll drop them off at five anyway.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
I'm sure it'll be worth it, and Trump will reward
her for it. Enjoy being ambassador to those islands where
the nuclear bombs get tested, Nikki.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Let's move on for politics.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
Let's move on from politics to a place that's completely
above politics.
Speaker 5 (06:29):
The Supreme Court.
Speaker 4 (06:30):
Now, usually we expect this esteemed body to sit above
partisan pettiness while it issues rulings that let corporations sell
my organs for profit. But last week, an unfortunate issue
sullied that image.
Speaker 6 (06:43):
Justice Samuel Alito is facing calls to recuse himself. This
comes after The New York Times published a photo outside
Alito's home of an upside down American flag that's widely
viewed as a symbol of efforts to overturn the last election.
Speaker 11 (06:56):
Alito confirming the photo, telling the Times quote, I had
no involvement whatsoever in the flying of the flag. It
was briefly placed by Missus Alito in response to a
neighbor's use of objectionable and personally insulting language on yard side.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Yeah, missus Alito's fault. Oh yeah, I feel you, Sammy.
You know, my wife's always squabbling with the neighbors too.
I mean, her squabbles don't usually end with her raising
the flag of insurrection against the United States. But maybe
your neighbors are just that bad. But hey, Sam Alito
is a Supreme Court justice, the pinnacle of moral integrity.
(07:34):
If he said he has nothing to do with it,
then I believe him, and I believe it's never going
to happen again.
Speaker 12 (07:39):
New question surrounding Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito after a
second controversial flag was hanging outside one of his homes.
The New York Times reports an appealed to Heaven flag
carried my January sixth rioters, was photographed at his New
Jersey Beach house last summer.
Speaker 13 (07:55):
The flag, which features a pine tree and the phrase
appeal to Heaven, dates back to the Revolutionary War, but
today the flag has become quote a symbol of support
for former President Donald J. Trump, for a religious strand
of the Stop the Steel campaign, and for a push
to remake American government in Christian terms?
Speaker 5 (08:17):
What the hell?
Speaker 11 (08:18):
Man?
Speaker 5 (08:19):
Another flag?
Speaker 4 (08:21):
Did this guy get a two for one deal at
the MAGA flag store.
Speaker 5 (08:25):
Look, I'm not an expert, but I.
Speaker 4 (08:27):
Always thought a judge was supposed to be impartial and neutral,
And I'm not naive.
Speaker 5 (08:31):
I know he's not.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
But can he at least respect us enough to pretend
to be. You know, it's not like he's a judge
on American idol. He's a Supreme Court judge, but he's
stunting on us like a soccer player popping his jersey
after a goal.
Speaker 5 (08:45):
I killed rov Way, bitches. I killed Robbie Way, bitches.
But if you.
Speaker 4 (08:55):
But if you upseaid about this, the good news is
Supreme Court has a code of ethics. Now the bad
news is they wrote that code of ethics and they
don't follow it. So I guess there is no good news,
and the bad news is even worse. For more on
the flag controversy with Justice Alito, we turned to Troy Iwana. Troy, Troy,
(09:21):
you're outside Justice Alito's.
Speaker 5 (09:22):
House at the Jersey Shore right now. What's the mood
down there?
Speaker 14 (09:26):
It's awful, Michael. It's the Jersey Shore. Stop sending me here.
It's like it's like if Florida wore too much cologne.
Speaker 4 (09:36):
Okay, but but what can you tell us about the
flags at Alito's house.
Speaker 5 (09:40):
They're very provocative.
Speaker 14 (09:42):
Well, it's worse than that, Michael. These flags are very confusing.
I don't know what any of these weird right wing
symbols mean. One is upside down. This one was a
clip arc pine tree on it.
Speaker 5 (09:55):
I don't get the message.
Speaker 14 (09:56):
The first time I saw that Blue Lives Matter flag,
I thought the Smurfs f got citizenship, So I thought.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
Well, right wing nationalists use this pine tree flag to
symbolize how God gave them the divine right to violently
overthrow the government, then I can.
Speaker 14 (10:12):
Say that I don't right this is a reference to
whatever shit Michael just said on the flag, because right
now this is just an ugly flag with a Christmas
cookie on it.
Speaker 4 (10:27):
I think the bigger question is what justice Alito thought
the flag meant.
Speaker 14 (10:31):
I'm gonna stop you right there, Michael, because he just
put up a new flag.
Speaker 5 (10:36):
Okay.
Speaker 14 (10:37):
So it's a big blue wave. I'm guessing that means
Alito likes surfing. Or maybe they're fans of that Japanese
wave painting that white people put in their first apartment.
I'm gonna I'm gonna look it up.
Speaker 3 (10:52):
Okay.
Speaker 14 (10:52):
So the wave is Noah's flood washing away the sodomites
and drowning them, drowning them in an ocean of tears.
Speaker 5 (11:02):
Boy, that's that's terrible. That's a terrible flag.
Speaker 14 (11:05):
I know I did not get any of that from
the fun wave flag. If you're gonna be hateful, stop
being so subtle, Okay, add like a add a tiny
gay person drowning under the wave or something. You know
what flag works that don't tread on me? Flag with
the angry snake, I get that. I know where not
(11:28):
to tread. Or or the punisher's skull. When someone is
wearing that on their shirt, I know that they're saying
I'm divorced, right, you know. Or you can have a
flag like Saudi Arabia. I can't read Arabic, but I
know what a sword is. It's like message received. Maybe
(11:49):
Samuel Alito should hire Saudi Arabia's flag guy.
Speaker 4 (11:52):
Okay, Troy, hold up, there appears to be a new
flag is up behind you.
Speaker 14 (11:58):
Okay, all right, it's a Bible holding a gun.
Speaker 5 (12:03):
Oh my god, I love it.
Speaker 14 (12:06):
Okay, see, I get that.
Speaker 5 (12:09):
Yeah, straight to the point.
Speaker 14 (12:10):
I am pitching my pants in fear, but I know why. Yes,
all right, thank you guys, Toledo. God, it must be
nice to own a home.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
Troy Awada, Troy Awada. Everyone, When we come back, I'll
give you some tips for summer travel.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
Don't go away.
Speaker 5 (12:51):
Welcome back to day show.
Speaker 4 (12:53):
It's Memorial Day weekend, which means summer is just about here.
The time of year when my armpits begin to resemble
that swamp planet Yoda lives and people set off for
fabulous vacations. But if you've got travel plans coming up,
it's important to remember a few simple tips, which I'll
give you in my brand new advice segment.
Speaker 5 (13:22):
Now that I think about that title, it's perfect.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
So let's talk about some of the mistakes people make
on vacation and how you can do better.
Speaker 5 (13:33):
For instance, like these.
Speaker 10 (13:34):
Guys' tonight new video of two men damaging ancient rock
formations here in the West.
Speaker 15 (13:40):
Two men seen damaging ancient rock formations at Nevada's Lakeney
National Recreation Area outside Las Vegas. The vandals not once
but twice, knocking massive redstone boulders off a cliff last
week at the popular Redstone Dunes Trail. A young girl
standing behind them screams out as the rocks come to down.
Speaker 4 (14:03):
Amazing the first time these guys work out in their lives,
and they do it by pushing over a million year
old boulders.
Speaker 5 (14:10):
Hey, should we get a bowflex? No, let's just up nature.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
You know.
Speaker 5 (14:15):
Someone should go find these vandals, and it shouldn't be
too hard.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
Just look for the guy whose daughter has a blurry face.
There can't be too many of those. So here's just
the tip. Next time you're in the desert, ask yourself,
would Wiley E. Coyote do this? Then do the opposite. Now,
maybe you're thinking this doesn't apply to me. I'm more
of a lie on the beach kind of gal.
Speaker 5 (14:38):
Well guess what.
Speaker 4 (14:39):
There are plenty of ways you can mess things up too,
like what happened to this lady.
Speaker 13 (14:43):
First up, don't be a fool and never mess with
a raging bull.
Speaker 15 (14:47):
Shocking video shows a woman on a Mexican beach refusing
to get away from the beast and pain a price.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
Yeah the way, you're not doing any game?
Speaker 4 (15:08):
Tell yeah, they tell you? Did you think let me
speak to the manager? Would work on a giant bowl?
They are the manager. But that's my toe bag. I
have a bag of warm grapes in there, lady, those
are his warm grapes.
Speaker 5 (15:26):
Now just walk.
Speaker 4 (15:28):
Away, you know, and then for dinner you can have
carne asada for revenge. So here's just the tip. Next
time you go to the beach, pack a matador. Now
here's a story. It reminds you that smart traveling begins
when you're packing your suitcase.
Speaker 16 (15:44):
There's a flea for leniency. This morning, in the Turks
and Caicos, another American tourist has been detained after security
officials found live ammunition in their luggage. That's illegal in
the Caribbean territory and carries a mandatory sentence of twelve
years in prison. Now five Americans faced those charges. None
were carrying firearms, and all claimed they didn't even know
(16:06):
the bullets were there.
Speaker 4 (16:08):
Five people, and none of them knew they had live
ammunition in their suitcases. This is how gun crazy some
Americans are. You know, most people going through their luggage
find old hotel keys or sand from that beach trip.
These guys are like, oh god, my spare bullets. But
this one isn't entirely on the tourists. Okay, Turks and Caicos,
(16:31):
I get think you're worried about rising gun violence on
your island, but I don't think it's coming from Americans
bringing in two bullets at a time. You know, bullets
don't do anything without a gun, right, They're not running
around your island like throwing bullets at people. So I
think Turks and Caicos is being a little unreasonable. And
if this were up to me, I'd have those Americans
(16:53):
back in a second. It just takes one simple phone call. Hey, Turks, Hey,
can you release the prisoners?
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Please?
Speaker 5 (16:59):
No? All right, let me talk to Kikos.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
But as it turns out, someone else is already on
the case.
Speaker 17 (17:08):
Tonight, several members of Congress pleading for leniency for the
five Americans facing twelve years behind bars in Turks and Caicos.
A bipartisan delegation of lawmakers going to the territory, meeting
with government officials urging light sentences instead.
Speaker 5 (17:22):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (17:23):
Nothing motivates bipartisanship like a free trip to Turks and Keikos.
Speaker 5 (17:29):
So here's just the tip.
Speaker 4 (17:31):
Okay, if you're going to do something idiotic that gets
you arrested, make sure it's on an island paradise. Your
elected officials want to fly too. Yes, you'll still be
in prison, but at least you can look through your
bars at the congressman holding a surfboard waving, Hey, we're
doing everything we can.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
Now watch me rip this double barrel, flip side. You
know when we come back, John Legend will be joining
me on the show. Don't go.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Welcome back the DA Show.
Speaker 4 (18:12):
My guest tonight is an e got winning multi platinum
artist and activist who hosts the new original audio documentary
Afghan Star.
Speaker 5 (18:21):
Please welcome John Legend.
Speaker 4 (18:28):
Thank you all right, here we go, E got winning
multi platinum. I wasn't expecting to see your name on
(18:48):
audio documentary Afghan Star.
Speaker 3 (18:51):
Yeah, I'm a podcast host. Now my biggest aspiration come
to life.
Speaker 5 (18:55):
Tell me about this new project and how did you
get involved.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
Afghan Star is the name of a competition show, so
it's like American Idol or The Voice. But the revolutionary
fact was that it was in Afghanistan. Yes, and prior
to the US invasion, the Taliban was in charge and
they had basically outlawed music in the country, so literally
they would have bonfires, burn CDs and records and musical instruments,
(19:23):
and so there was a whole generation of people that
were growing up not having access to the most basic
thing that we all love, that's a part of all
of our lives.
Speaker 5 (19:33):
Music.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
And so when the Taliban was deposed and there was
this new freedom that was permeating through the country, one
of the producers there who had started this network called
Tolo TV, he decided to start a singing competition show
and he had no idea how revolutionary it would be
because not only was it displaying music on television, but
(19:58):
it was giving women opportunities that they never had before.
It was challenging a lot of the societal norms and
some of the religious strictures that have been on the
country for a long time. And it was quite a
cultural moment that impacted the entire country.
Speaker 4 (20:14):
I mean, you talk about in the podcast how the
Taliban used to stop people's cars and if there was
a cassette tape in there, Yes, they would beat up
the driver and then rip up the cassette've and hang
it from a tree.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
They would unspoil the actual tape from the cassette and
hang it up so people would know you can't have this.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
As an American, I listened to this stuff, it almost
seems fictitious.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
Yea.
Speaker 4 (20:37):
I just it's never even I mean, it's how spoiled
am It's never crossed my mind that people cannot have music. Yeah,
Is your approach to music any differently now?
Speaker 5 (20:47):
Knowing that?
Speaker 4 (20:48):
Is your approach to music now any different knowing that?
Speaker 3 (20:50):
Well, I always knew music was such a gift, But
I think you can take it for granted because it's
something that's just part of your lives, and you know,
we've had it as part of our culture for and
every country has pretty much had it as a part
of their culture forever. But to have it taken away
it is quite a thing. And to see the links
people went through to get music back into their lives,
(21:12):
the underground.
Speaker 5 (21:12):
Networks that they would have to use to.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
Smuggle in records that they want to listen to, the
parties they would have with live music out of the
reach of the government and police. All of these things
just shows you how important music is to our lives
and how meaningful it can be, and to see it
taken away makes you really appreciate it.
Speaker 4 (21:31):
It's almost like the Taliban hasn't seen footloots, I know exactly.
Speaker 5 (21:35):
You know, one of these days you gotta watch footlets.
There's still there's still gonna do music.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
And you know what's happened since the Taliband's back in
charge again, So you know, you would think maybe there
is no music again in Afghanistan, But once you let
the genie out of the bottle, it's really hard to
suppress the people's desire to get music. And now with
the Internet being more prevalent, and and and everyone kind
of getting used to the fact that music was in
(22:03):
their lives. It's kind of hard for the Talibani to
stop them listening to music.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Now.
Speaker 4 (22:07):
One of my favorite parts in the Pot was when
he decides to have auditions and he's like, is anybody
gonna show up?
Speaker 5 (22:14):
Oh my god, And then he gets.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
To this hotel and security is furious at him because
there's hundreds of people there.
Speaker 5 (22:18):
Everybody wanted to be probably wanting.
Speaker 4 (22:20):
But then he starts rolling cameras and he's like, guess what,
everybody's a bad singer, and which wasn't the case. There
was good singers, but there's also a lot of bad singing, sure,
as there is everywhere.
Speaker 5 (22:30):
You have to go through the audition process exactly. You know,
it showed a lot.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
Of things because one of the things that Afghanistan hadn't
done was vote for anything, right, and so this was
like an opportunity for them to vote.
Speaker 5 (22:45):
And they were like we laughing, I'm laughing at this.
Speaker 4 (22:48):
But it's like, holy shit, that another thing Americans just
we take for granted. You know, it's like, yeah, vote mothers,
let's talk and another thing, I mean, let's talk about
the role of women in Afghanistan. This was such a
this was such a groundbreaking cultural change for them.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Yes, So one of the most controversial things at the
beginning of the show was when a woman was performing
on the show and she started dancing just a little bit,
a little shimmy and they were very upset about that,
and then her hijab starts to sneak back a little bit.
Speaker 5 (23:20):
You see a little bit of her hair.
Speaker 3 (23:21):
And these are you know, norms that had been enforced
with the with the gun, with the threat of death,
and so the fact that people were doing this on
national television was quite daring. And then we had a
judge named Ariana Said who was a pop star and
she was very well known in Afghanistan and she became
(23:43):
a judge and her life was under threat all the
time because she was a symbol of women's liberation just
by the fact that she was there as a judge.
And she actually mentored a few of the female contestants
and one of them finally won after several years of
the show being on the air, and it was quite
a moment for women in Afghanistan to have access to
(24:05):
this and one of the things that we are doing
with our fundraiser with the art sale that we're doing
is making sure we raise money for the North Foundation
in Afghanistan, which make sure women have access to education
and all the things they need.
Speaker 1 (24:18):
And there's.
Speaker 4 (24:25):
There's some unique pieces of art per episode, there's art
created or something.
Speaker 3 (24:30):
Yes, we have unique pieces of art. I've signed some
of them and each of them represents stories from the episodes,
and so they're very vivid and beautiful and people can
check them out.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Cool.
Speaker 4 (24:43):
It's nice to have you here in New York. I
mean Trump's in the Bronx today. I was wondering, you know,
is that why you're here?
Speaker 5 (24:52):
You're you're politically out I.
Speaker 3 (24:53):
Feel like he would be here a lot of days nowadays.
Speaker 4 (24:57):
I think her, how are you feeling this election? I mean,
you're politically outspoken. What can people be doing? What should
people be doing? Well, of course they should vote, and
I'll be voting for Joe Biden.
Speaker 3 (25:12):
I think it's a clear choice. You know, it's a
clear choice. And we talk about things we take for granted.
But there is one candidate that isn't too keen on democracy,
isn't too.
Speaker 5 (25:27):
Keen on us having the right to vote.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
He literally tried to steal an election and nullify the
votes of the American people. And I feel like that
is utterly disqualifying and he should not ever be anywhere
close to the nuclear codes, the White House, the Oval Office, and.
Speaker 5 (25:44):
I'm gonna do.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
My best to make sure he doesn't get back there.
Speaker 5 (25:46):
I appreciate you chatting with me. Thank you very much,
John Legend. Everybody listen to that.
Speaker 9 (25:55):
Explore more shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch
The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten Central on Comedy
Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount Plus.
Speaker 5 (26:13):
This has been a Comedy Central podcast
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