March 7, 2023 • 29 mins
Marlon Wayans takes on the day’s biggest news, including elevated instances of children eating their parents edibles, Will & Kate’s terrifying wax sculptures, and Tucker Carlson’s unreleased footage from January 6. Bomani Jones, sports journalist and host of “Game Theory with Bomani Jones”, discusses his viral interview with Jake Paul and the match aftermath
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to Comedy Central. Wow from New York City,
the only city in America gets the shows that he
did it News, he's good daily show with your host Linens.
(00:35):
Welcome put a daily show. I'm all away. Yeah, something
back from night too. I had no idea they do
this shit every single day. Nobody warned me that the
Daily Show is actually a daily show. I thought that
ship was just a fun name or something. All Right,
(00:56):
we got a great show for you tonight. Why because
I'm on it. Let's get to the headline. I was
watching Fox News last night because because apparently I hate
my life. But I learned something. You know how the
(01:18):
whole wall remembers January sixth as the day a bunch
of violent trunk fans stormed into the Capitol. Well, according
to Fox News, we just got the footage wrong. FOXLEWS
host Tucker Carlson were the first clips of the unseen
January six surveillance footage given to him by speaker Kevin McCarthy.
On his show last night, he said the insurrection was
(01:40):
mostly peaceful chaos, adding that the people who forced themselves
into the Capitol weren't quote insurrectionists, they were sightseers. We're
gonna get insight with footage that shows you what was
actually happening inside the Capitol, and that video tells a
very different story about what happened on January sixth. Protesters
que up in neat little lines. They give each other
tours outside the Speaker's office. They take cheerful selfies and
(02:04):
they smile. They're not destroying the capital. They obviously revere
the capital. Sight seeing, my black ass. If you have
to punch a cop on your way in, you not
sight seeing it, you fight seeing All tougher costs improved
(02:31):
is that you can make anything look better by not
showing the bad part. How come they never show nine
to eleven planes taken off in a way. Some of
the footage is even more disturbing, Like there was this
(02:51):
guy at the ride who was just cleaning shit up.
That's a straight up psycho path. Let this guy goes
to the Orgies and does wordle guys, I got it,
I got it in four guesses. Come on, guys, stop
(03:13):
each other, put your nick away. It's a grave. But
enough about January six Let's talk about an even worse crime.
Some wax museum in Poland decided to make statues of
the British royal family, and boy, look how up they
(03:34):
are William and Kate like we've never seen them before.
Wax figures are on displaying a museum in Poland, supposedly
the likeness of Prince William and Kate Middleton. Footage of
the figures what this week that the museum visitors began
sharing them, saying the figures don't look much like the cover.
I don't know, people, they're pretty good statues. I mean, hey, skin,
(04:00):
scary teeth, the dead eyes look just like British people.
And seriously, these statues look at their smiles, they look
they look like they just called Megan Makol Nigga under
her browth. They look like they're auditioning for the sequel
(04:26):
to smile and the cape one. She's especially up. She
looked like me and white chicks. Now, finally, let's talk
about the greatest threat facing America today. Our kids are
(04:51):
eating too much candy with weed in it. The FDA
has issued a warning about children accidentally ingesting products with THHC,
with many made in packaging that looks like brand named
candies and cereals, something kids could easily confuse the FDA
warning accidental ingestion of these products can lead to serious
(05:11):
adverse events, especially in children. A recent study links the
dramatic increase in cases of kids accidentally in justusing cannabis
to the legalization of marijuana. Researchers have seen a nearly
fourteen one hundred percent increase, with about two hundred cases
reported in twenty seventeen compared to more than three thousand
cases in twenty twenty one. Wait, how can you even
(05:36):
tell if a little kid is high? No, because the
loafs always sound high, Danny, if a cloud had legs,
would it be a snow man? Nigga? You want mustash again?
And weed isn't just dangerous for little children, it's also
(05:56):
dangerous for adult children. Like chet hecks put in your
mama duck is sticking cratches, putting your granny grives. I'm sorry, Tom,
I'm just saying that shit you'd want to say. So, parents,
please be responsible for the health and the well being
(06:18):
of your family. Send me your drugs for safekeeping. I
might get something back to you for real, though, Here's
what I want to know. Why is the weed the
only drug putting food? How come there's no cracking of
(06:38):
the boss. Think about it. They already got Hershey, cracker,
you're halfway there. Just put the crack in it. And
for more on this story, let's go to dult Say Sloan,
don't say how can parent stop kids from getting into
(07:01):
their edibles? I'll tell you how. How about these grown
ass adults stopped taking edibles in the first place. You
shouldn't be like a little kid who needs an imaginary
plane to eat its vegetables. You're thirty five years old.
Smoke a blunt like you pay taxes. Bro up, that's
that's that's that's a little harsh smoke the drugs. Stop
(07:23):
playing with people. I don't know, but that's a little hard.
Some people you don't have. They like a little flavor
in there. They're high weed hash flavor. The flavor is weed.
If you can't handle it, you can't have it. All
these people are trying to eat instead of smoke. You
(07:44):
smoke to earn your way to the mun cheese. All right,
I said that you can't combine the two. That's just lazy.
Come on, okay, But if people are gonna take edibles,
how can they stop their kids from getting into them? Well, look,
I want to help because I'm a good Christian woman. Hallelujah.
(08:08):
The problem is right now, the packaging is too attractive
to kids. So how about this packaging? Okay? See oh
so heavy? Oh my god? Well, I mean listen, Oh,
I mean this is the hardest part about being single,
(08:29):
picking up heavy things. You know what I mean? See? Now,
if you put the edibles in the math book, who
to help and do advanced alge But come on, and
we all know that math is a lie, right so
because like the only thing you really need is geometry,
(08:52):
magic wall, I can't change your life. So listen, if
you put the drugs in the math book, the only
kids finding them ads and frankly the nursey to loose
enough anyway, or or you know, just to help inst Listen,
(09:18):
it started. Change in the packaging. Change the edible thing
green being edible for vitamin T, H and C. Don't
say there's not gonna be no adult or kids that's
gonna be down with that product. But it's good, it's
(09:42):
good for you. Listen. I hear what you're saying, mister Marlin,
And um, I'm gonna just tell you just just sound
a little stressed, you know, so maybe just maybe you
need a little visit from an aeroplane. It times the plane.
(10:02):
Come on, I'm stop, stop, I'm a brown ass man.
I'm not about to do that. Eat the wheat, don't flow, father,
Everybody alight. When we come back, We're gonna have a
weird interview with the Mayor of New York City. Don't
(10:24):
go away, Welcome back to the Valley Show. When they
(10:51):
found out I was hosting the show this week, they
asked me if I wanted to interview the Mayor of
New York, Eric Adams. Now I'm not really a political guy,
so I said no. But my dear friend Kwan is
very interested in politics. So he sat down with the
Mayor Adams to ask him the tough questions. Take a look,
(11:17):
are you man? This dude could see you know you
late when I beat you here so a long time.
So feel thank you, thank you? So yo. So this
is Kwan asking the mayor and real politicians real questions
(11:39):
that the real niggas want to know. Feel me all right, Mayor? Yo?
This bug? Why do I hit it all the time?
When I meet people in the train, when I meet
people inside of homeless shelter, when I meet people in
the club. It's I cannot believe I'm sitting here kicking
it with the manna. I just can't believe I'm what
you look like, Dame mcwayne. Yo, Like, Yo, Bug, you
(12:04):
put the mask on, you be blank man, Broy That's
why I now, but that's it's wild. Like, Yo, I
voted for you. I'm lying. My mom's voted for you.
I don't really that. I don't want them to come
get me for Georgia. Dude. Listen, mom's older moms said, man,
they saw they saw in me what they see you
and you. Yeah, that's steep. You look that's some lady
(12:25):
man ship right there. Yo, man, are you buck? Why
you buff? Son? Got got to be You're the most
buff man ever. You can do an action movie like
on some allows every day's an action movie and some
all sworks of Negro ship. Yeah, and you look like
young like you. It's being mayor stress. It depends you
know it. Stress. Food is growing up in the neighborhood,
(12:47):
not known when your meal is going to come from
eating that hard ass cheese that they used to make
a zee. That's stress. So you plan on softening the government.
She you can't soften. Now you could melt it. Tell
me the secret because we used to put in oven
and we're leaving it for half an hour and it
was still hard at that same shit. No, I couldn't
shop for months, yo, that's bug out of question is random?
(13:10):
How come I can't buy hot food on my EBT car.
That's a good question. And I didn't even know that, bro,
just cold shit? Why pull people gotta eat col shit
and then shouldn't I didn't know. You can't change that,
beato that we're changing that bill. We're gonna look at it, man,
and we're gonna name the build after you. Quaw. Yes,
the quaw bill. Yes, you know, I mean holes. I'm
(13:30):
gonna get for that. Quat got a bill named after me? Oh,
I got a bill name ask for me, na, but
real talking. Let me give him some real serious shit.
You really do be working out? Got to every morning man,
five am or five am? You son? Do you or
do you not being the clubs? Because I hear you
be part of it. Listen to a nightlife man. I
(13:51):
got to test the product. So so you're gonna say
you up at five am when you ain't even sleep, son,
Listen my dad said, you hang out with the boy,
you got to get up with the men. Oh that's real, y'all. Man,
So let me ask you some real shit. We yes,
you smoke. That's a tough question. Man. It's legal, you know. No, No,
(14:16):
I don't smoke second hand. Oh you guys just walk
down the block. Second hand is everywhere. Now, we made
it illegal, but we just don't want it. We don't.
We don't want our children smoking on the way to
school or getting that gummy beads and other bullshit that
they're selling. You know, we need to be real clear
on that because I know if you make your smoke
(14:36):
after school. Yeah, now let's get real. Yes, mad, I'm
softening you up. Now, we got some real shit to
ask you. You said that prayers go out the classroom,
guns come in. I'm a church boy, Yes, I tell.
I could tell. My grandmother will go to church. She
(14:56):
prayed a lot. She prayed a lot, that's how you
made it. But she prayer don't always work. This just does, no.
Because my grandma prayed over my gay cousin her whole life.
She's still gas hell your grandmother to pray for your cousin,
that she's gonna pray for her to be happy and
find peace. And that piece may not be your piece, boss.
(15:22):
That man got bars. I know yo, next time if
I vote, going for you. So with that said, when
exactly did they take prayers out of the classroom in
New York City? Sometimes they believe constitutionally you're not supposed
to have prayers in school, And I think that you
don't have to do it in school around school, but
(15:45):
our children need some spiritual don't think no. I think
it's the right. Ship should be able to brand we
got here. Yeah, so you want to put it back
in the school, It's something not up to me. What
I want to do is int you. So I'll children
to spirituality with that. You know that I do. I
do because one time I took this dude's shame. It
(16:07):
was a Jesus chang and I felt real bad. You know,
I'm sure you gave it back to nah. I just
felt real bad. You may have a movie for a reason, right,
You know that because I did point it during quarantine
and got me that ebt car that I ut food
that you're gonna make hots. You know? All right? Let
me ask you real ship. People want to know, son,
(16:31):
what you're gonna do about the Knicks. Listen, you may Son,
you can't have your the team New York team looking
like the Spike Lee. Don't even go to the games
no more. You gotta do something. Sun. You should go
there with all your cops and if they don't play right,
you should arrest them. Listen, all I know about New
York fans, it said Arnold Schwartznick a moment, they'll be
(16:54):
back because we're gonna win. You're saying that for thirty years.
Wellis me don't even go to game yo, e yo,
shoot you listen. I'm gonna give you my math a
slink up again. Pop some bottles. This is you know
what I'm saying. I'm looking for a fifth baby, Mamy,
my guy, all day, all day, Thank you, thank you,
(17:21):
all right, thank you, Kawn. All right, stay tuned when
we come back. We got Bamani Jones will be joining
me on the show. And I met you this nigga.
Gotta turn on that car, so don't go away. Welcome
(17:51):
back to the Daily Show. My guest Tonight is an
Emmy winning sports journalist who hosts the HBO series. Speaking
of h BO, I have a stand up special called
God Loves Me streaming right now on HBO Max And
if you want to see me live, I'll be in Medford,
(18:13):
Massachusetts at the Chevalier Theater this Saturday, March Left. My
next cats every award winning sports shirtlists who hosts the
show on HBO It's called Game Theory with Boumoney Jones.
Please welcome the one and only Beaumonte Jones. You look
(18:47):
at clean, looking clean. You're looking clean, looking like you're
way ins look looking like Keena cleaning everyone ins, No,
you just like, well, you look like Damon and Keenan
got smushed together and then putting a suit. So let
me ask you a question, what are you think of
the whole job morant thing? Well, I had two thoughts
(19:11):
when I saw the last video with him at the
strip club. Thought, number one, they supposed to be taking
their shirts off. That is like do you flip your
own burgens at McDonald's, Like when you go to the
strip club and you take your clothes off, you're doing
this backwards. And then there's the other part that he's
in there with a gun, And honestly, I thought that
goes too small to even like rightly pistol whips I
(19:33):
thought it was a chain. I didn't, but no, I
think that there's a level of this though that's kind
of encouraging where people like me who in the media
see him and like, without an oveson, we would have
slammed it, right, Like the world would have just come
down on him. I'm looking at this with just a
lot more concern, right, Like, I see a dude who
was acting out, and you and I both know, man
showing people guns that makes other people show you guns,
(19:55):
except not the side part, right, you know, the part
that look at you, And so it ain't It's not
about judging him for me, as much as I hope
he getting himself right, because it's clear that he's not.
But I think when you give these guys this much money,
you're that young, Like if I had it, like a
hundred meal, that young, I've been a shrimp club with
a gun? Why not? Why not? The first part I
(20:25):
get that if I got that much, buddy, I ain't
going nowhere where I think shrimp club something to me,
We're gonna be my house. Anytime I see somebody with
a gun, I'm like, maybe you should shouldn't go there.
I think I might need to shoot somebody where I am.
I probably just shouldn't go there, right. Um, okay, So
you saw the tweet that Lebron did about his son
Bronnie last night. He tweeted, uh, and I want to
(20:47):
quote this right, definitely better than he said that his
son Bronnie was definitely better than some of these cats.
I've been watching it on the League pass today. Do
you think Brownie has what it takes? So I looked
at with tyle Lebron sent that tweet. It was roughly
midnight Eastern. There were two games on and all those
(21:10):
teams had better records than the Lakers, so all shots firing,
up shots's firing. No. My only point is if Bronie's
better than them, then bring your son to work day,
bring him out here and you can find out. Right.
Unfortunately for the young man, he would learn some very
(21:34):
hard lessons that day. And that's the thing, man, I
feel like he's putting the bulls eye on his son's back.
Is getting to the NBA. It's hard, really really hard.
If he gets there at all, that is a victory.
But if he gets there and his name is Lebron
James Junior, man, everybody gonna try to get famous off
of him. Like if I was Lebron, I'd kind of
be like, well, you know, he's working very hard and
(21:55):
I'll be proud of him about however it ends up.
That's the play you want to make. You do you
think he goes to the Lakers or do you think
Lebron's gonna have to go to Cleveland? What do you
think of Lebron versus Jordan? That's what I want to
I like talking to a sports of fishing and not
Lebron versus Jordan? Which one do you? I'm gonna tell
you this, Like fifteen years ago, when I really first
started doing the sports thing, I was adamant that Lebron
(22:17):
James was the best player I had ever seen. Right now.
I said this when I was twenty eight, And then
I went on YouTube and I pulled the Jordan guy
up one time, and I've never said that ever again.
Like being number two or number three, it's really really
really really really really really good. Right, But dude, there's
Jordan is just everybody else. Like when the last Dance
(22:39):
came out, I was just like, yes, now the kids
can watch this and I never have to talk about
this again, right, Like, like you got it right here,
here is your explanation, and it ain't got nothing to
do with Lebron. It's just all about that dude, right. Um. Okay,
I'm not so much a sports fan as I am
an anti sports fan, Like I'm a hater. Okay, now,
I'm I don't love teams. I hate teams, teams hating, right, So, um,
(23:04):
who do you got going to the finals? Because it
because I'm a Laker hater. I don't like saying that
I laughed. Don't tell Lebron in them because I'm like
going to the games and shit. But I'm I'm an
official hater. Who you got going to the finals? I
mean I think I got Milwaukee on one side and
on the West. I don't know who's going, but I
want my man Yokis to go because Yokis looks like
(23:28):
like he just picked up like a piece of bread
and went to a personal trainer and was like this
is what I'm going, right, like get you a bad
yet and being like, yo, make me look like this
killing everybody everybody. I love to see that payoff. I
love to see that payoff. Plus, we grew up at
a time when it was more hard scrabbled tales of
(23:48):
basketball players right like they were sending them out to
private school early. Like you know, dudes had to come
from something. Hey man, them cats from them countries with
all them consonants in them. Yes, it's real, dog. It
finds me of my youth, not my personal youth, because
we was doing good. But when I would get on
television and watch the basketball players, it reminded me of that.
(24:09):
So which team do you hate? Come on, it's just
me and you here in the world. Ain't watch. Tell
me I don't think I got a basketball team that
me and you? Stop. I know, I try to think.
I mean, when I was little, I hated Boston, but
you know, things changed. Let me really rephrase that. When
I was little, I hated the Celtics. I'm up in
the air on Boston, on the Celtics. You know things
(24:31):
changed a little bit. Okay, you or Stephen A. Smith?
At what? Who talks more shit? Oh? Stephen A? You
think Stephen stephen A? Does I think Stephen Nay talk
some shit like him? I really think Danning talk dalkh man,
(24:52):
don't I don't understand the word he says? Fun isn't man?
This is why I love Shannon. I love Shannon because
doing when the country shouldn't have to change how they
talking to me. You should feeling good. That's why I
love him. So I love he sit there with skipped
back tip. I'm ha me a black mound, I'm hit
me some. Yeah, you shout I love I love me some, Shan.
(25:12):
I like when you're screaming that Job Redd and his father,
I love you. And let's be clear, he would have
like the first two or three people didn't want it
when Steven Adams came over there with his goal too.
If I think all of a sudden, Shandon Sharp had
a different tone. But then first three dudes, Oh no, no, no, no,
but he did kind of car when Job pulled that
(25:34):
little gun out on him. Let me tell you, as him,
as country as Shannon Sharp is, you ain't gonna pull
no little good on him and getting no reaction. You
don't come from the backwoods to get scared off by
three eight. That ain't high worse. Um okay, Floyd Ali
As my brother who was much larger than me, used
to tell me when I was little, they make weight
(25:55):
classes for a reason. No, I wasn't saying I wouldn't
do the fight. Go. I'm but in terms of greatness,
which one you think is great? I mean, you gotta
go with our lague and it's it's it's but it's
it's a weird thing though, because you kind of gotta
go with oligue because he lost before, Like Floyd never
took a fight that we ever thought. I don't know,
I think he might. You know, the only time anybody
(26:16):
thought he was gonna lose a fight is when he
fought Ricky hadn't because white people be wishing, you know
what I'm saying, like that was that was the only one.
Maybe this time maybe this one, like people forgot the
whole Revolutionary War and we're acting like Ricky hadn't was
from which Tom Kansas right, like, no, we're supposed to
have beef with him. They're like no, but we have
beef with them, all right. So you your interview with
(26:39):
Jake Paul went viol last month. Uh, you roasted him
and and then he lost his fight. Did that make
you happy? I that a hateful prayer you put out
in the be honest effort. I didn't want to watch
the fight because I didn't want to watch him fight,
Like he's not actually a fighter, but he told us
because I asked him, because he defenses himself as a
(27:00):
boxing promoter, like a businessman. So I'm like, what happens
if you lose? I'm thinking about the money of it,
and he's like, well, I don't have a loser mentality.
That seems to be how you live life. And I'm like, dude,
I'm forty two years old, Like, you're not gonna nanny
nanny booboo me into this. But then I'm sure you
forty two, forty two, nanny nanny booboo, And I thought
you was seventy two. That's my grandfather was sitting there
(27:23):
on a second. But I tell you this. When I
found out Jake Paul had a rematch clause, I was like, oh,
who to lose an ow dog? It seems like it
seems like it seems like you had a plan just
in case you got your asshood. But by the way,
is a generally good idea. You just ain't gotta lie
about it, right you think he whoop your ass. So
it's a it's a dilemma because on one hand, there
(27:45):
are a weight classes for a reason. On the other hand,
I am forty two years old. I can't lose no
fight to Jake Paul right Why because I can't, Like,
I can't go. I don't have kids, so I don't
have it with them. Where Like you can't beat me.
But if Jake Paul eats me up in public, one
of us at some point is going to have to die.
There's no other option. You're gonna be like a drama red.
(28:08):
Can I use your Little gun? New episodes of Game
Theory with my Man Bovanni Jones as Friday nights on
HBO and HBO Max. Okay, we're gonna take a quick break,
but we'll be right back after that doct off show
(28:37):
for tonight. But please before we go, consider supporting Black
ben Heel. It's a nonprofit dedicated to providing mental health treatment, education,
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(28:59):
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a Comedy Central podcast w
You're listening to Comedy Central. Wow from New York City,
the only city in America gets the shows that he
did it News, he's good daily show with your host Linens.
(00:35):
Welcome put a daily show. I'm all away. Yeah, something
back from night too. I had no idea they do
this shit every single day. Nobody warned me that the
Daily Show is actually a daily show. I thought that
ship was just a fun name or something. All Right,
(00:56):
we got a great show for you tonight. Why because
I'm on it. Let's get to the headline. I was
watching Fox News last night because because apparently I hate
my life. But I learned something. You know how the
(01:18):
whole wall remembers January sixth as the day a bunch
of violent trunk fans stormed into the Capitol. Well, according
to Fox News, we just got the footage wrong. FOXLEWS
host Tucker Carlson were the first clips of the unseen
January six surveillance footage given to him by speaker Kevin McCarthy.
On his show last night, he said the insurrection was
(01:40):
mostly peaceful chaos, adding that the people who forced themselves
into the Capitol weren't quote insurrectionists, they were sightseers. We're
gonna get insight with footage that shows you what was
actually happening inside the Capitol, and that video tells a
very different story about what happened on January sixth. Protesters
que up in neat little lines. They give each other
tours outside the Speaker's office. They take cheerful selfies and
(02:04):
they smile. They're not destroying the capital. They obviously revere
the capital. Sight seeing, my black ass. If you have
to punch a cop on your way in, you not
sight seeing it, you fight seeing All tougher costs improved
(02:31):
is that you can make anything look better by not
showing the bad part. How come they never show nine
to eleven planes taken off in a way. Some of
the footage is even more disturbing, Like there was this
(02:51):
guy at the ride who was just cleaning shit up.
That's a straight up psycho path. Let this guy goes
to the Orgies and does wordle guys, I got it,
I got it in four guesses. Come on, guys, stop
(03:13):
each other, put your nick away. It's a grave. But
enough about January six Let's talk about an even worse crime.
Some wax museum in Poland decided to make statues of
the British royal family, and boy, look how up they
(03:34):
are William and Kate like we've never seen them before.
Wax figures are on displaying a museum in Poland, supposedly
the likeness of Prince William and Kate Middleton. Footage of
the figures what this week that the museum visitors began
sharing them, saying the figures don't look much like the cover.
I don't know, people, they're pretty good statues. I mean, hey, skin,
(04:00):
scary teeth, the dead eyes look just like British people.
And seriously, these statues look at their smiles, they look
they look like they just called Megan Makol Nigga under
her browth. They look like they're auditioning for the sequel
(04:26):
to smile and the cape one. She's especially up. She
looked like me and white chicks. Now, finally, let's talk
about the greatest threat facing America today. Our kids are
(04:51):
eating too much candy with weed in it. The FDA
has issued a warning about children accidentally ingesting products with THHC,
with many made in packaging that looks like brand named
candies and cereals, something kids could easily confuse the FDA
warning accidental ingestion of these products can lead to serious
(05:11):
adverse events, especially in children. A recent study links the
dramatic increase in cases of kids accidentally in justusing cannabis
to the legalization of marijuana. Researchers have seen a nearly
fourteen one hundred percent increase, with about two hundred cases
reported in twenty seventeen compared to more than three thousand
cases in twenty twenty one. Wait, how can you even
(05:36):
tell if a little kid is high? No, because the
loafs always sound high, Danny, if a cloud had legs,
would it be a snow man? Nigga? You want mustash again?
And weed isn't just dangerous for little children, it's also
(05:56):
dangerous for adult children. Like chet hecks put in your
mama duck is sticking cratches, putting your granny grives. I'm sorry, Tom,
I'm just saying that shit you'd want to say. So, parents,
please be responsible for the health and the well being
(06:18):
of your family. Send me your drugs for safekeeping. I
might get something back to you for real, though, Here's
what I want to know. Why is the weed the
only drug putting food? How come there's no cracking of
(06:38):
the boss. Think about it. They already got Hershey, cracker,
you're halfway there. Just put the crack in it. And
for more on this story, let's go to dult Say Sloan,
don't say how can parent stop kids from getting into
(07:01):
their edibles? I'll tell you how. How about these grown
ass adults stopped taking edibles in the first place. You
shouldn't be like a little kid who needs an imaginary
plane to eat its vegetables. You're thirty five years old.
Smoke a blunt like you pay taxes. Bro up, that's
that's that's that's a little harsh smoke the drugs. Stop
(07:23):
playing with people. I don't know, but that's a little hard.
Some people you don't have. They like a little flavor
in there. They're high weed hash flavor. The flavor is weed.
If you can't handle it, you can't have it. All
these people are trying to eat instead of smoke. You
(07:44):
smoke to earn your way to the mun cheese. All right,
I said that you can't combine the two. That's just lazy.
Come on, okay, But if people are gonna take edibles,
how can they stop their kids from getting into them? Well, look,
I want to help because I'm a good Christian woman. Hallelujah.
(08:08):
The problem is right now, the packaging is too attractive
to kids. So how about this packaging? Okay? See oh
so heavy? Oh my god? Well, I mean listen, Oh,
I mean this is the hardest part about being single,
(08:29):
picking up heavy things. You know what I mean? See? Now,
if you put the edibles in the math book, who
to help and do advanced alge But come on, and
we all know that math is a lie, right so
because like the only thing you really need is geometry,
(08:52):
magic wall, I can't change your life. So listen, if
you put the drugs in the math book, the only
kids finding them ads and frankly the nursey to loose
enough anyway, or or you know, just to help inst Listen,
(09:18):
it started. Change in the packaging. Change the edible thing
green being edible for vitamin T, H and C. Don't
say there's not gonna be no adult or kids that's
gonna be down with that product. But it's good, it's
(09:42):
good for you. Listen. I hear what you're saying, mister Marlin,
And um, I'm gonna just tell you just just sound
a little stressed, you know, so maybe just maybe you
need a little visit from an aeroplane. It times the plane.
(10:02):
Come on, I'm stop, stop, I'm a brown ass man.
I'm not about to do that. Eat the wheat, don't flow, father,
Everybody alight. When we come back, We're gonna have a
weird interview with the Mayor of New York City. Don't
(10:24):
go away, Welcome back to the Valley Show. When they
(10:51):
found out I was hosting the show this week, they
asked me if I wanted to interview the Mayor of
New York, Eric Adams. Now I'm not really a political guy,
so I said no. But my dear friend Kwan is
very interested in politics. So he sat down with the
Mayor Adams to ask him the tough questions. Take a look,
(11:17):
are you man? This dude could see you know you
late when I beat you here so a long time.
So feel thank you, thank you? So yo. So this
is Kwan asking the mayor and real politicians real questions
(11:39):
that the real niggas want to know. Feel me all right, Mayor? Yo?
This bug? Why do I hit it all the time?
When I meet people in the train, when I meet
people inside of homeless shelter, when I meet people in
the club. It's I cannot believe I'm sitting here kicking
it with the manna. I just can't believe I'm what
you look like, Dame mcwayne. Yo, Like, Yo, Bug, you
(12:04):
put the mask on, you be blank man, Broy That's
why I now, but that's it's wild. Like, Yo, I
voted for you. I'm lying. My mom's voted for you.
I don't really that. I don't want them to come
get me for Georgia. Dude. Listen, mom's older moms said, man,
they saw they saw in me what they see you
and you. Yeah, that's steep. You look that's some lady
(12:25):
man ship right there. Yo, man, are you buck? Why
you buff? Son? Got got to be You're the most
buff man ever. You can do an action movie like
on some allows every day's an action movie and some
all sworks of Negro ship. Yeah, and you look like
young like you. It's being mayor stress. It depends you
know it. Stress. Food is growing up in the neighborhood,
(12:47):
not known when your meal is going to come from
eating that hard ass cheese that they used to make
a zee. That's stress. So you plan on softening the government.
She you can't soften. Now you could melt it. Tell
me the secret because we used to put in oven
and we're leaving it for half an hour and it
was still hard at that same shit. No, I couldn't
shop for months, yo, that's bug out of question is random?
(13:10):
How come I can't buy hot food on my EBT car.
That's a good question. And I didn't even know that, bro,
just cold shit? Why pull people gotta eat col shit
and then shouldn't I didn't know. You can't change that,
beato that we're changing that bill. We're gonna look at it, man,
and we're gonna name the build after you. Quaw. Yes,
the quaw bill. Yes, you know, I mean holes. I'm
(13:30):
gonna get for that. Quat got a bill named after me? Oh,
I got a bill name ask for me, na, but
real talking. Let me give him some real serious shit.
You really do be working out? Got to every morning man,
five am or five am? You son? Do you or
do you not being the clubs? Because I hear you
be part of it. Listen to a nightlife man. I
(13:51):
got to test the product. So so you're gonna say
you up at five am when you ain't even sleep, son,
Listen my dad said, you hang out with the boy,
you got to get up with the men. Oh that's real, y'all. Man,
So let me ask you some real shit. We yes,
you smoke. That's a tough question. Man. It's legal, you know. No, No,
(14:16):
I don't smoke second hand. Oh you guys just walk
down the block. Second hand is everywhere. Now, we made
it illegal, but we just don't want it. We don't.
We don't want our children smoking on the way to
school or getting that gummy beads and other bullshit that
they're selling. You know, we need to be real clear
on that because I know if you make your smoke
(14:36):
after school. Yeah, now let's get real. Yes, mad, I'm
softening you up. Now, we got some real shit to
ask you. You said that prayers go out the classroom,
guns come in. I'm a church boy, Yes, I tell.
I could tell. My grandmother will go to church. She
(14:56):
prayed a lot. She prayed a lot, that's how you
made it. But she prayer don't always work. This just does, no.
Because my grandma prayed over my gay cousin her whole life.
She's still gas hell your grandmother to pray for your cousin,
that she's gonna pray for her to be happy and
find peace. And that piece may not be your piece, boss.
(15:22):
That man got bars. I know yo, next time if
I vote, going for you. So with that said, when
exactly did they take prayers out of the classroom in
New York City? Sometimes they believe constitutionally you're not supposed
to have prayers in school, And I think that you
don't have to do it in school around school, but
(15:45):
our children need some spiritual don't think no. I think
it's the right. Ship should be able to brand we
got here. Yeah, so you want to put it back
in the school, It's something not up to me. What
I want to do is int you. So I'll children
to spirituality with that. You know that I do. I
do because one time I took this dude's shame. It
(16:07):
was a Jesus chang and I felt real bad. You know,
I'm sure you gave it back to nah. I just
felt real bad. You may have a movie for a reason, right,
You know that because I did point it during quarantine
and got me that ebt car that I ut food
that you're gonna make hots. You know? All right? Let
me ask you real ship. People want to know, son,
(16:31):
what you're gonna do about the Knicks. Listen, you may Son,
you can't have your the team New York team looking
like the Spike Lee. Don't even go to the games
no more. You gotta do something. Sun. You should go
there with all your cops and if they don't play right,
you should arrest them. Listen, all I know about New
York fans, it said Arnold Schwartznick a moment, they'll be
(16:54):
back because we're gonna win. You're saying that for thirty years.
Wellis me don't even go to game yo, e yo,
shoot you listen. I'm gonna give you my math a
slink up again. Pop some bottles. This is you know
what I'm saying. I'm looking for a fifth baby, Mamy,
my guy, all day, all day, Thank you, thank you,
(17:21):
all right, thank you, Kawn. All right, stay tuned when
we come back. We got Bamani Jones will be joining
me on the show. And I met you this nigga.
Gotta turn on that car, so don't go away. Welcome
(17:51):
back to the Daily Show. My guest Tonight is an
Emmy winning sports journalist who hosts the HBO series. Speaking
of h BO, I have a stand up special called
God Loves Me streaming right now on HBO Max And
if you want to see me live, I'll be in Medford,
(18:13):
Massachusetts at the Chevalier Theater this Saturday, March Left. My
next cats every award winning sports shirtlists who hosts the
show on HBO It's called Game Theory with Boumoney Jones.
Please welcome the one and only Beaumonte Jones. You look
(18:47):
at clean, looking clean. You're looking clean, looking like you're
way ins look looking like Keena cleaning everyone ins, No,
you just like, well, you look like Damon and Keenan
got smushed together and then putting a suit. So let
me ask you a question, what are you think of
the whole job morant thing? Well, I had two thoughts
(19:11):
when I saw the last video with him at the
strip club. Thought, number one, they supposed to be taking
their shirts off. That is like do you flip your
own burgens at McDonald's, Like when you go to the
strip club and you take your clothes off, you're doing
this backwards. And then there's the other part that he's
in there with a gun, And honestly, I thought that
goes too small to even like rightly pistol whips I
(19:33):
thought it was a chain. I didn't, but no, I
think that there's a level of this though that's kind
of encouraging where people like me who in the media
see him and like, without an oveson, we would have
slammed it, right, Like the world would have just come
down on him. I'm looking at this with just a
lot more concern, right, Like, I see a dude who
was acting out, and you and I both know, man
showing people guns that makes other people show you guns,
(19:55):
except not the side part, right, you know, the part
that look at you, And so it ain't It's not
about judging him for me, as much as I hope
he getting himself right, because it's clear that he's not.
But I think when you give these guys this much money,
you're that young, Like if I had it, like a
hundred meal, that young, I've been a shrimp club with
a gun? Why not? Why not? The first part I
(20:25):
get that if I got that much, buddy, I ain't
going nowhere where I think shrimp club something to me,
We're gonna be my house. Anytime I see somebody with
a gun, I'm like, maybe you should shouldn't go there.
I think I might need to shoot somebody where I am.
I probably just shouldn't go there, right. Um, okay, So
you saw the tweet that Lebron did about his son
Bronnie last night. He tweeted, uh, and I want to
(20:47):
quote this right, definitely better than he said that his
son Bronnie was definitely better than some of these cats.
I've been watching it on the League pass today. Do
you think Brownie has what it takes? So I looked
at with tyle Lebron sent that tweet. It was roughly
midnight Eastern. There were two games on and all those
(21:10):
teams had better records than the Lakers, so all shots firing,
up shots's firing. No. My only point is if Bronie's
better than them, then bring your son to work day,
bring him out here and you can find out. Right.
Unfortunately for the young man, he would learn some very
(21:34):
hard lessons that day. And that's the thing, man, I
feel like he's putting the bulls eye on his son's back.
Is getting to the NBA. It's hard, really really hard.
If he gets there at all, that is a victory.
But if he gets there and his name is Lebron
James Junior, man, everybody gonna try to get famous off
of him. Like if I was Lebron, I'd kind of
be like, well, you know, he's working very hard and
(21:55):
I'll be proud of him about however it ends up.
That's the play you want to make. You do you
think he goes to the Lakers or do you think
Lebron's gonna have to go to Cleveland? What do you
think of Lebron versus Jordan? That's what I want to
I like talking to a sports of fishing and not
Lebron versus Jordan? Which one do you? I'm gonna tell
you this, Like fifteen years ago, when I really first
started doing the sports thing, I was adamant that Lebron
(22:17):
James was the best player I had ever seen. Right now.
I said this when I was twenty eight, And then
I went on YouTube and I pulled the Jordan guy
up one time, and I've never said that ever again.
Like being number two or number three, it's really really
really really really really really good. Right, But dude, there's
Jordan is just everybody else. Like when the last Dance
(22:39):
came out, I was just like, yes, now the kids
can watch this and I never have to talk about
this again, right, Like, like you got it right here,
here is your explanation, and it ain't got nothing to
do with Lebron. It's just all about that dude, right. Um. Okay,
I'm not so much a sports fan as I am
an anti sports fan, Like I'm a hater. Okay, now,
I'm I don't love teams. I hate teams, teams hating, right, So, um,
(23:04):
who do you got going to the finals? Because it
because I'm a Laker hater. I don't like saying that
I laughed. Don't tell Lebron in them because I'm like
going to the games and shit. But I'm I'm an
official hater. Who you got going to the finals? I
mean I think I got Milwaukee on one side and
on the West. I don't know who's going, but I
want my man Yokis to go because Yokis looks like
(23:28):
like he just picked up like a piece of bread
and went to a personal trainer and was like this
is what I'm going, right, like get you a bad
yet and being like, yo, make me look like this
killing everybody everybody. I love to see that payoff. I
love to see that payoff. Plus, we grew up at
a time when it was more hard scrabbled tales of
(23:48):
basketball players right like they were sending them out to
private school early. Like you know, dudes had to come
from something. Hey man, them cats from them countries with
all them consonants in them. Yes, it's real, dog. It
finds me of my youth, not my personal youth, because
we was doing good. But when I would get on
television and watch the basketball players, it reminded me of that.
(24:09):
So which team do you hate? Come on, it's just
me and you here in the world. Ain't watch. Tell
me I don't think I got a basketball team that
me and you? Stop. I know, I try to think.
I mean, when I was little, I hated Boston, but
you know, things changed. Let me really rephrase that. When
I was little, I hated the Celtics. I'm up in
the air on Boston, on the Celtics. You know things
(24:31):
changed a little bit. Okay, you or Stephen A. Smith?
At what? Who talks more shit? Oh? Stephen A? You
think Stephen stephen A? Does I think Stephen Nay talk
some shit like him? I really think Danning talk dalkh man,
(24:52):
don't I don't understand the word he says? Fun isn't man?
This is why I love Shannon. I love Shannon because
doing when the country shouldn't have to change how they
talking to me. You should feeling good. That's why I
love him. So I love he sit there with skipped
back tip. I'm ha me a black mound, I'm hit
me some. Yeah, you shout I love I love me some, Shan.
(25:12):
I like when you're screaming that Job Redd and his father,
I love you. And let's be clear, he would have
like the first two or three people didn't want it
when Steven Adams came over there with his goal too.
If I think all of a sudden, Shandon Sharp had
a different tone. But then first three dudes, Oh no, no, no, no,
but he did kind of car when Job pulled that
(25:34):
little gun out on him. Let me tell you, as him,
as country as Shannon Sharp is, you ain't gonna pull
no little good on him and getting no reaction. You
don't come from the backwoods to get scared off by
three eight. That ain't high worse. Um okay, Floyd Ali
As my brother who was much larger than me, used
to tell me when I was little, they make weight
(25:55):
classes for a reason. No, I wasn't saying I wouldn't
do the fight. Go. I'm but in terms of greatness,
which one you think is great? I mean, you gotta
go with our lague and it's it's it's but it's
it's a weird thing though, because you kind of gotta
go with oligue because he lost before, Like Floyd never
took a fight that we ever thought. I don't know,
I think he might. You know, the only time anybody
(26:16):
thought he was gonna lose a fight is when he
fought Ricky hadn't because white people be wishing, you know
what I'm saying, like that was that was the only one.
Maybe this time maybe this one, like people forgot the
whole Revolutionary War and we're acting like Ricky hadn't was
from which Tom Kansas right, like, no, we're supposed to
have beef with him. They're like no, but we have
beef with them, all right. So you your interview with
(26:39):
Jake Paul went viol last month. Uh, you roasted him
and and then he lost his fight. Did that make
you happy? I that a hateful prayer you put out
in the be honest effort. I didn't want to watch
the fight because I didn't want to watch him fight,
Like he's not actually a fighter, but he told us
because I asked him, because he defenses himself as a
(27:00):
boxing promoter, like a businessman. So I'm like, what happens
if you lose? I'm thinking about the money of it,
and he's like, well, I don't have a loser mentality.
That seems to be how you live life. And I'm like, dude,
I'm forty two years old, Like, you're not gonna nanny
nanny booboo me into this. But then I'm sure you
forty two, forty two, nanny nanny booboo, And I thought
you was seventy two. That's my grandfather was sitting there
(27:23):
on a second. But I tell you this. When I
found out Jake Paul had a rematch clause, I was like, oh,
who to lose an ow dog? It seems like it
seems like it seems like you had a plan just
in case you got your asshood. But by the way,
is a generally good idea. You just ain't gotta lie
about it, right you think he whoop your ass. So
it's a it's a dilemma because on one hand, there
(27:45):
are a weight classes for a reason. On the other hand,
I am forty two years old. I can't lose no
fight to Jake Paul right Why because I can't, Like,
I can't go. I don't have kids, so I don't
have it with them. Where Like you can't beat me.
But if Jake Paul eats me up in public, one
of us at some point is going to have to die.
There's no other option. You're gonna be like a drama red.
(28:08):
Can I use your Little gun? New episodes of Game
Theory with my Man Bovanni Jones as Friday nights on
HBO and HBO Max. Okay, we're gonna take a quick break,
but we'll be right back after that doct off show
(28:37):
for tonight. But please before we go, consider supporting Black
ben Heel. It's a nonprofit dedicated to providing mental health treatment, education,
and resources to men of color who often can't get
the help they need. If you can support them in
their work, please donate at the link below. Explore more
shows from The Daily Show podcast universe by searching The
(28:59):
Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch The Daily
Show weeknights at eleven tenth Central on Comedy Central, and
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